#seriously dont read to freak yourself out !

[lidiasloca]

Ok this one of my ideas not sure if I have actually read it before or if it was a fever dream. Az has a girlfriend/ mate that the inner circle hasn’t met before.she works with marja as a high and has maybe other powers I don’t know. I have 2x options in which to take this idea. 1. Azzy gets very hurt on a mission and his brought to you to fix him. Very emotional IC and reader. They save him blah blah. 2. Some of the healers are working on so far out town. Az was cutie and like don’t go. She was like boo you go all the time I going to help people. Love you be back soon. But while they are there they are kidnapped by someone ( you pick). Word gets back to Marja who tells Rhys and Az happens to be there. Az freaks out when he hears our name on the list of miss. Blah blah.

totally cool if you don’t wanna use. It is just an idea.

azriel being worried about you going on a mission

azriel x reader

fulff

a/n: i ain't really not for angst these days, so i only took the beginning of your second idea, hope u dont mind :)

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“You will not go,” Azriel sates, and his voice is so commanding and serious you stop in your tracks. 

“Azriel, we’ve been through this. I’m a healer. This is my job.”

“No, your job is to heal people being safe,” he explains as if you were stupid. You know he means well, but you are growing more irritated by the moment. “Your job is not putting your life in danger.”

“Well, saving lives in the middle of a war comes obviously with my life being in danger.”

Giving him your back, you continue packing all you need for the journey. You hear his footsteps getting closer, then his hand is on your back, gently stroking. “Y/N. Please,” and it sounds enough of a plea for you to turn and face him. 

“Azriel, you constantly put yourself in danger. Almost everyday I have to see you leave to work, with no assurance you will come back.”

His eyes drop to his feet in defeat. “I know, and I know it’s not fair for me to ask you this. But - I simply don’t care.” He watches you again, a spark of confidence and hope settles in his eyes. “I cannot risk loosing you, and the risk of loosing you is higher than yours is to lose me on a mission.” When he catches your frown, he adds, “You must give me this; I know how to defend myself better than you in the battlefield.”

You let out a soft chuckle, the seriousness of before fading a bit as a timid smile blooms on his face.

But your mind is made up. “Azriel,” you sigh. “I must go still.”

His lips close to a thin line, worry back in his face. He takes your hands in his scarred ones. You are to hear his angry pleads again, but to your surprise, he simple answers, “Alright.”

You open your eyes wide in astonishment. “Alright?”

Your mate grins before adding, “Alright.” And that grin means two things. Trouble, or planed trouble. 

“What is your mind up to, Az?” you ask accusingly, as if he was no more than a kid planing mischief. 

His grin grows more teasing. “Nothing, nothing,” he says as he turns to your travel trunk, putting things. His things. “It’s just that I'm going with you.”

“What?”

“What?” he says, totally unfazed by the situation. “You need protection. I want to know you are safe. You are no good with a sword, yet excellent healing people. I’m quite good with a sword. I think it’s a perfect plan.”

“You miss that Rhys has assigned you a mission in the Spring Court. Tomorrow.”

He looks at you, looking at you as if what you’ve said it’s dumb. “I don’t remember that.”

“Yes, you do.”

“Love,” he says, and his voice is serious again. “Please. I beg you, don’t make me suffer like this. Let me accompany you. I will talk to Rhys and he will understand. He knows how terrible it is to know your mate is in danger, no mater how strong or brave she is. And you are, but I am not strong enough to spend every second of the following days not knowing if you are safe.”

You sigh, now you are defeated. “Alright.” He smiles triumphantly, so you are quickly to add sternly, “But no scaring anyone that comes near me, understood?”

“Yes, ma’am,” and he has that teasing smirk on his face again. 

-Characters by Sarah J Maas

HEY! IF YOU LIKED THIS, YOU CAN CHECK OUT MY AZRIEL MASTERLIST HERE <3

and you can also request any fic idea you have through my inbox so i can write it down :)) i much appreciate requests for azriel and other acotar characters

[princessbrunette]

you’d always been a nerd, there was no doubt about that — it’s only now you were older, you were known as a nerd who was filling out her bikini top, and jiggling in her bikini bottoms. now, unlike yourself — you sit on a little boat out on the water with the infamous pogues.

it was jj who invited you here. it was always jj — he’d been enthralled to see the sexy little thing you’d grown into adulthood as. he’d spotted you whilst working at the library, frowning over a file book of library card entries with cute pouty lips and reading glasses that he wanted to cover in cum. hed always thought you were cute at school, but now he just had to have you. he’d used his charms on you, and now you were nervously tucked into his side, ‘making friends’ with his friends as he’d described it. “gotta get ya out there, there’s a whoooole life to be lived outside these books, you know that?”

he was burrowing through his backpack, leaning over on the boat beside you to find the weed he’d packed, clearly set on corrupting you for fun.

“its the best of the best— like, perfect for a beginner—” he rambles, dumping things out his backpack struggling to find the small baggie of prerolls he’d prepared.

“jesus, jj do not corrupt the poor girl.” john b bites back the entertained smile, lifting his head from where he lounged in the sun to look at you. “you sure you’re okay with this sweetheart? can totally… you know, stick to what you know.” he shrugs, sympathetically and you shake your head, wide eyes finding the blondes.

“its okay, told jj i’ve always wanted to try. he said he’d hook me up.” you smile politely, still a little shy around the group.

“yeah but he’s being weird about it.” kiara glares at her friend with her nose turned up, nudging him with her foot nearly knocking his balance off. “dont be a creep.”

“look i’m not being a creep, alright! ‘said she wanted to try, and i’m being a good citizen and simply helping this sweet young lady out dabbling in just a lil bit of herb okay so i don’t wanna—” he dives headfirst into another one of his rants, but is quieted by your gasp when a couple of items fall out his backpack, including a gun.

“nice work.” pope shakes his head and your eyes widen, looking around wondering why no one else is concerned.

“why do you have a gun, jj?” you scandalise and he picks it up casually, flipping it in his hands making you shuffle away, jaw agape.

“gotta protect my people, what’s wrong wi’that? look i’m a pro at usin’ this thing— set up a little target practice in john b’s backyard and lemme tell you, i have quite the aim.” he waves it around making you stiffen up, touching his bicep to stop him from being so reckless.

“god, you must be careful with that thing. they’re dangerous jj! i read that these pistols just go off at random all the time, you could seriously hurt someone and i don’t wanna be the person who gets shot by accident! do you even—” you freak, and he turns his body to you shuffling closer and silencing you.

“shh, shh, shh, shh — hey. it’s all good. i would never accidentally shoot a pretty girl. trust me, i’m so careful.” he smirks, bringing the tip of the barrel to your lips making you freeze with wide eyes. to keep you there as he speaks, an arm slings over your shoulder, his clammy hand gently grasping the back of your neck. you know you should be scared, the boy seems reckless and unhinged — and worst of all, his friends seemed used to it which tells you he does this shit all the time — but something about it made your cunt throb, dampening your bikini bottoms and subtly pressing your thighs together as you felt your skin heat up.

maybe it was all the books you read, but you’d always loved a bad boy.

“seriously bro? you’re scaring her.” kiara complains, leaning across and yanking the pistol out his hand and shoving it back into his backpack.

fast forward a few hours, and you’re back at the chateau, the only ones inside in john b’s bedroom. you’re looser, high and relaxed from the joint jj had talked you through smoking — and now you were laying your head on his bicep, his free hand down your panties rubbing your copious juices into your swollen clit.

“cant believe you’ve never been touched like this, mama. been missing out on heaven, right?” he grins, leaning down to kiss at your cheek when your eyes flutter closed, so out of it and blissful.

“mm… wanted this since…” you trail off, lips parting and brows furrowing when he curls his finger inside you.

“nah, go on. since when… tell me how long this pretty pussy’s been horny for papa j.” he dirty talks so well you clench hard around him, working up the courage. it didn’t take much, the intoxication and lust making you brave.

“since you put the gun to my lips.” you admit quietly and his jaw drops gleefully, speeding up his fingers.

“seriously? damn i knew you were gonna be a freak. it’s always the quiet ones, always dude.” he celebrates to himself before staring down at you adoringly. “man, i’m gonna have so much fun with you, pretty girl.”

[ikykwklk-ash]

⚠️⚠️this is really important!!!⚠️⚠️

please read!!

I've really reached the limit of my endurance. How can you allow yourself to ask such things to someone? skz fans, but also all kpop groups out there, should really be ashamed for asking such questions to an idol. like... how can you SERIOUSLY ask "do you sleep with leeknow?" GIRL- that's enough. it's his private life, he's not your brother, he's not your friend, HE'S A PERSON LIKE ALL OF US!!!!!! I understand you ship minsung, but that's a fan thing, don't bring it up in front of them! Shipping is meant to be a silly fun and UNSERIOUS thing, the second you start to take it too seriously things go downhill and you start doing stupid shit like asking a real person to his face if he sleeps with his friend, these people piss me tf off and I'm saying this as a shipper myself. now when lee know and han stop interacting as much because you wanna open your fat fucking mouth i dont wanna hear it. RESPECT these idols, they’re people, not puppets.

some stays tend to ruin EVERYTHING the boys share with us and at some point they will just be tired and stop sharing stuff with us since some ppl can’t act normal without crossing boundaries.. bring back shame why are you acting like a weirdo???

stop letting skz talk to weirdo freaks that copy tattoos and ask them disrespectful things like calling them “mommy”. what could you possibly gain by making them uncomfortable?

I repeat: SHOW RESPECT!!! Do you have any idea how he might feel after all this??? I mean... YOU COULD SEE he was uncomfortable, YOU COULD SEE he was disappointed by this person's behavior. How can you really allow yourself to behave like this?????? How can you even call yourself a "respectful fan" if you act like this?

[becauseheartsgetbroken-hs]

baby enemies to lovers stories? i loveeee them, dont know whats wrong with me bestie

nothing is wrong with you babe, you just have taste!

I'm a sucker for a good enemies to lovers story too so dkjhjshdf I'm so happy for this! Anyway let's begin!

My forever and always favorite enemies to lovers story is "404" by my beloved @freedomfireflies When I say I need 404!harry, I couldn't mean it more! I had a dream about him for real 😭 It's so well written and you can literally feel the tension between the two characters. 404!harry is my baby and I want to put him in my pocket and have him there forever. It's everything you could ask for in a story with that trope. 🙌 😍 (personal fav: a-mazing and jealous - I was on my knees)

Also please do yourself a favor and read @harrys-titties "Harry's a dick and Y/N hates him for it". It's really amazing! The way she built their relationship was precious 🥰 And I loved that Harry's best friend was Sarah, it was a beautiful touch. When you will start reading it, you will find yourself unable to put it down. (um also I have the "y/n and harry hate each other, until they don't" in my "to read list" and I'm sure it will be amazing)

Additionally "grumpy h" by my favorite @cupid-styles is *chef's kiss* seriously. I really liked how their dynamic began to change and they were so soft for each other 😇 so cute 🥰 Oh and I almost forgot it! "You're my last shot" is an enemies to lovers story too and believe me it's so sweet, I loved it. I was reading the blurbs until 3 AM in the morning hehe 😇

Of course it's not a proper rec list for enemies to lovers stories if I don't mention "aster" by @moonchildstyles ! It is really good! Like reallyyy good😍 It's the cutest thing ever hdshgjghshjg Now I'm thinking about it, I will reread it 😍 I was obsessed with this the first time I read it.

Also "Ballerina Y/N and Ballerina Harry" by @jawllines ! Oh my God, it's so good! Actually I can't express how good it is, words aren't enough! I just love it. I started rereading it actually the other day and I couldn't stop myself. I have a soft spot for it 😇 Their chemistry is everything! 😍 The characters are amazing and Y/N is a queen! Also Ballerina!Harry is exactly my type so 😇

@be-with-me-so-happily has a great enemies to lovers story too! "Not what we bargained for" is freaking good 😍 Had a great time reading it!

Oh and of course "Harry is Y/N's producer & she doesn't like him" and "Y/N & Harry kind of hate each other but have to walk together in their friends' wedding party" by @0nlythrowharrybeaux ! Her stories are so addictive 😍 Her writting has an incredible flow 😍

One last thing: it's not actually a story but @justlemmeadoreyou ' headcanons are crazy and I guarantee you that the mean!friends with benefits!harry headcanons are so f*cking hot 😱check them out 😍 (also she's making a series based on them, part 1 is out and I'm telling you it's so good! Cant' wait for the next part! - it may be a friends with benefits trope but they started as enemies, they didn't like each other much so yeah that's why I put it here)

I'm 100% sure I'm forgetting many other stories I would love to include in this but I can't think of anything else right now sorry 😭 If something else comes up to my mind, I will add it ❤️ Enjoy ❤️

P.S always grateful to the authors 😊

[villalunae]

im in such a utena mood right now i think anthy would not use nuclear war codes if she had them but would instead drop hints of incoming nuclear winter to nanami by messing with the plants in the birdcage and mentioning dead roses are often considered an omen of war (lie) so that nanami attempts to discredit her by looking up omens of war through a book miki lended her and instead finding out that all the crazy shit happening to her in the last few days (kangaroo showing up on campus was actually a political refugee, tsuwabuki prepping her cheat sheet for an upcoming test on the ramificiations of nagasaki and hiroshima, students gathering about television sets that before she can see what terrible news theyre watching someone says "turn something nice on instead!" and she only sees shopping channels marketing items like gas masks, bomb shelters, and canned foods) has actually been subtle hints and omens that they're approaching world war three and nanami ends up going to touga asking if theyre gonna make it and if japan can withstand another genocidal war crime against humanity and touga somehow reads this as her telling him her dream job is to be a stripper and tells her "silly little sister. all women are inferior to men already bc of eve's fatal sin. dont degrade yourself further than you already have" and shes like "what do you mean degrade myself further than i already have" and hes like "dont worry about it youre perfect to me. like a 9.5/10. or an 8/10. maybe a 6. definitely not any lower than a 3" and after hearing that she goes to bed upset and confused because not only is her brother not taking nuclear war seriously he also once again made her feel infantilized and small and then after hearing a loud boom in the distance she thinks nuclear war is starting and starts freaking out and thinks "my brother must have been speaking in a code! he was trying to make me feel nostalgic about my childhood to comfort me before the upcoming attack! now that nuclear war is starting i should take shelter but we dont have a bomb shelter here but ohtori has a bunch of students! it probably does!" running to ohtori and trying to think of the oldest building on campus and goes to utena and anthy's door banging on it in the middle of the night and utena gets up in her jammies like "what?" and nanamis like "QUICK we all have to GET UNDERGROUND wheres your NEAREST BOMB SHELTER" and anthy comes in behind utena like miss nanami what are you talking about? :) and utena is like yeah seriously thats so weird. i guess you can come inside . we couldnt sleep anyway because -- and then nanami sees on the floor of their room a bunch of scattered papers with a big red button in a briefcase and nanami points at anthy and is like "IT WAS YOU THAT LAUNCHED THE NUKE??????" and anthy says "oh this? this button is enrichment for my pet parrot! ive named her nanami. nanami press the button" and nanami the parrot presses the button and theres a loud boom and nanami (not the parrot) is like but what was that?!?! i heard it from my house!!!! and utena is like "oh! you must be talking about the firework display! the button is rigged up to some fireworks we got for the upcoming spring festival and we were actually up late tonight trying to get the display to work! we messed up pretty bad and most of the fireworks went off at once though haha." nanami the parrot keeps pressing the button in the bg and anthy is like "aww i guess that was the last firework left!" and nanami is like b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-but what about the kangaroo? and the test on nagasaki and hiroshima?? and the shopping channels advertising gas masks and bomb shelters and canned food??? and utena says "oh the kangaroo was a political refugee from australia its boxing career went down the hill after it killed steve durwin in a freak accident. all schools are doing history tests on world war two this time in the semester!" and anthy says "yes and because theres no clear threat of nuclear winter anymore all the old holdovers from wwii are being sold at discounted prices :)"

as nanami leaves the house feeling much better but also stupider she gets traumatized one last time by another firework going off and utena yells out the window "sorry nanami! guess there was one more loaded in there!" the firework design is chuchus face and he has been mysteriously absent this whole time. we see him in the sex car with that cat thing from madoka driving

[jordie-gvf]

rum raisin part one, danny wagner

summary : what happens when you meet your favorite rockstar at an ice cream shop? will it turn into something more?

there will be a part two!

pairing : danny wagner x fem!reader

warnings : fluff, other than that i dont think there is any!

word count : 1.2k+

After you had eaten dinner, you had a hankering for some ice cream. After you cleaned up from dinner and put all your dishes away, you grabbed your keys and put the leash on the dog. 

You lived in downtown Nashville, so you walked almost everywhere you went. As soon as you stepped outside your apartment building, you and Nala set out to get your ice cream.

You walked about two blocks until you saw the bright green sign reading, Pop’s Creamery. Thankfully, dogs were allowed inside, so you and Nala both walked into the small shop. There was a man in front of you, long curly hair cascading down his back.

You had your head down, looking at Nala when he turned to you. You kept looking at Nala as he spoke, “You can go ahead of me, I have no idea what I’m getting.”

You knew that voice from anywhere. Daniel Wagner was in front of you, at a locally owned ice cream shop. 

You slowly lifted your head and opened your mouth to talk, only nothing came out. You sat there, mouth hung open. 

“Fan, I take it?” 

“Hi, yes. I don't mind waiting, you can order.”

He smiled at you and said, “Well, what do you get here?”

“Rum raisin in a dish with wet walnuts, it's an acquired taste.”

“All right, two rum raisins in a dish with wet walnuts it is.”

You smiled at him, getting your order. You scooted in front of him while he ordered, ready to treat your favorite rockstar to an ice cream. 

“That’ll be $12.95, cash or card?”

You told her card and put your card in the terminal. He had his back turned while you paid, so he couldn't see you pay for his ice cream. He got back up from petting Nala and saw you take your card out of the terminal. 

“Hey! I would've paid! For the both of us, how much,” he asked, grabbing his wallet. You shook your head and went to walk to a booth to sit by yourself, “You're a busy man, it's the least I could do. Bye Danny, it was nice to see you.” 

You turned away from him, going to sit outside with Nala. As you were approaching the door, you heard him say, “I never caught your name!”

You turned back around, “Y/N. It’s Y/N,” you let out a little smile and went outside. You sat at the table that overlooked the city. You saw the beautiful Nashville skyline. You were so deep in your own thoughts that you didn't notice the bell ring on the door. 

Nala got up and walked towards the stranger, grabbing your attention. “Hey, Nala. Where ya goin, silly?” you asked her. You looked up at the stranger, meeting Danny’s eyes. 

“Do you mind if I sit with you? I’d love to get to know you.” he asked you, not taking no for an answer and sitting across from you. 

“So Y/N, what do you do for a living?”

“I’m a server at Tootsies, if you go there you might've seen me before.” 

“Tootsies, huh? I'll make sure to go there from now on.” 

You had to keep your cool, you could not freak out in front of him. “If I didn't know any better I'd think you'd be flirting with me, Daniel.”

“Is it working?” 

You smirked at him and kept your mouth shut, not giving him the satisfaction. 

By the time you and Danny had finished talking, it was 9:30 PM. Your neighbor had texted you, asking you where you were, she hadn't seen you come back yet.

“Well Danny, I hate to do this to you, but I have to get back home, I open tomorrow,” you said, standing up and sliding your chair in. He stood up at the same time you did and asked, “That's all right, I’ll walk you to your car.”

“Oh no, I walked here.”

“You walked here?!”

You nodded and said, “Yeah, I live a few blocks away.”

“Let me drive you, you bought me ice cream, I can’t let you walk home by yourself.”

“I have Nala. Danny, seriously it's not a problem.” 

“Y/N, I will not let you walk home. Come on, cars this way.”

He grabbed your hand and interlaced your fingers together. You were holding hands with Daniel Wagner, walking through the parking lot of an ice cream parlor.

You saw the familiar black corvette, Danny walking in front of you to open the door for you and Nala.

You thanked him for opening the door and sat down in the seat, Nala sitting on the floor below you. He got in the drivers side and started the car, rolling down the windows and turned the radio on. Metallica blared through the speakers, startling you. 

He apologized for the volume and then turned it down, “Where to, Cinderella?” You told him the street and the name of your apartment building, buckling your seatbelt and pet Nala to calm her down. 

He drove off in the direction of your apartment after buckling his seatbelt. He pulled into the parking garage and drove up to the sixth level, parking in a spot close to the entrance and turning the car off. You opened the door and let Nala out first, then stepped out onto the concrete.

“Thanks again, Danny. I appreciate the drive home,” you said and shut the car door, walking towards the door leading into the apartments.

“I’m walking you in, lead the way.” 

You walked down the long hallway, seeing your neighbors outside setting their trash out. You said hi to everyone, asking them how their days went. 

Danny was behind you, so you couldn't see the smile that your kindness put on his face. You stopped outside your apartment, 423 and turned to look at him. You thanked him once again and asked if you could give him a hug, not knowing if you'd ever see him again. 

He welcomed you with open arms and rocked the two of you back and forth. He left a gentle kiss on your forehead and pulled away.

“I have to get going sweetheart but it was nice meeting you, by far one of my favorite nights I’ve had this week,” he said, smiling at you while you put the dog inside the house. 

You could see the gears turning behind his head, so you asked, “anything else?” 

“Yeah, actually. The entire night, you never asked me for a picture. Usually, that's the first thing people ask for. You paid for my ice cream and then talked to me, you made me feel human, so thank you”

You smiled at him and gave him another hug, wanting to cherish this moment forever. You pulled away from him and got teary eyed. 

“Don’t cry. You'll see me again soon. Bye, Y/N.”

“Bye Danny.”

He turned around and walked down the hallway, going back to his car. You opened your front door and closed and locked it. You put your back up against the door and grabbed your phone from your back pocket.

NO ONES POV:

Y/N slid down her door with her phone in her hand, opening it and going to her text messages. She opened her groupchat with all her friends that she had met online and told them about the last four hours of her life.

Danny had been in his car, engine idling, in his group chat with his band members, telling them about the last four hours of his life.

Coincidently, they had both sent the same exact message, 

You’ll never guess who I just met.

baby taglist : @fallonfatality @hellowgoodbye @indigofallingsky

[taryry]

Here’s what Nevermoor character you love the most to says about you:

This is for entertainment purposes only, im not trying to offend anyone by this im just really bored and obsessing over Nevermoor. Again.

1) Morrigan Crow - you probably have family issues. You are a kind of person who has inside jokes with themselves and enjoys it. You had a Mitski phase. Or you still do. You have a small group of people that you trust with your life. You are probably a bit morbid. You are a night owl yet you love mornings. A high achiever. Go rest. You dont tend to express your opinions, others have to ask whats on your mind. You prefer peaceful surroundings. You cant stand the dirt in general and probably take way more showers trough the day than necessary. Amazing intuition. Your favorite subjects is history or any kind of social study.

2) Hawthorne Swift - you are very loyal and optimistic. You sleep with the socks on. You study for the test only if its about the stuff you are interested in, the rest of your grades are probably good because of your friends that get u out of trouble. You tend to get distracted a lot. You say your thoughts out loud and your inside voice does not like to cooperate with you. You let your intrusive thoughts win. People are drawn to you and children love being around you. You own the chaotic neutral genre. You take PE seriously. You were biting other kids when you were younger. You give the best hugs.

3) Cadence Blackburn - you are actually very emotional but would rather sit naked on a hot grill than let someone know. You sideye everyone. You love reading and you love walking around the forest. You either love rain or hate it no in between. Both cat and dog person. You love wearing rings and styling your hair. You use sarcasm to the point where people cant tell if you are being sarcastic or not. People think you are annoyed by them but you are actually happy to spend time with them. Good at keeping secrets and hiding stuff at general.

4) Jack - you are annoyed easily and you dont care if it shows. You enjoy studying and politic discussions. You play a music instrument or have played at some point or you really want to. Amazing sense of humor. For all of your closest friends you have thought that they were annoying and you couldnt stand them at first. You like to tease others. A bit arrogant but a good heart. A great listener with a lot of patience. You hate when others ask you to repeat what you have just said and every time it happens u take a second while staring at the wall and taking a deep breath before talking again. Responsibleoldersiblingcommunity.com

5) Jupiter North - you are a fan of 80s music. You are very optimistic and people are naturally gravitating towards you. You read people like an open book that was written for 5 year olds. You like making jokes about others but you can take a joke about you. People are scared when you get angry. Patient. Mother of the group. You like dancing in the rain and talking to strangers. One of the greatest students but nobody cant figure out how is that possible. You love traveling and trying out new things . Getting out of the comfort zone isnt a problem for you. You drink milk straight out of the carton, partly because it pisses others off and partly bc it keeps you from spilling it Born leader. A heart of gold. Chaotic. People think u say everything out loud but you dont. Others find you very comforting. I love you.

6) Ezra Squall - dark humor™. People cant tell when you are actually joking and try their best to stay in good terms with you. Clean freak. You love children. Unhealthy perfectionist. You dont study a lot but you have amazing grades. U enjoy listening to Crystal Castles and low vibrational music. Ambivert. You. Have. Style. You are able to predict things before you see the outcome. You do stuff for yourself and you think that the end justifies the means. You never explain yourself unless really necessary. You leave people on seen just for fun. Rule maker or breaker usually the first. You know your way with words and people. Unique person.

I hope you enjoyed this, comment if you guys want part 2!!

Stay wundrous xoxo

[conanssummerchild]

if i still wrote fanfic i would write a fanfic following the events of auto erotic assimilation and in the fic rick wouldve written a note before attempting and morty would come into the garage to check on him because he hadn't come out since the day before, and he would see rick passed out at his desk and at first he would think that he was just passed out bcs he was drunk and he would be a bit exasperated but morty's still morty so he would get a little closer to rick you know just to make sure he was okay except then he would see there was a folded piece of paper on the workbench next to rick's head so he would pick it up, open it and read it, but then he would freak out when he realised it was a suicide note because now he would think that rick's dead and not just passed out so he would start shaking rick and saying his name and crying probably but rick moves because he's not dead and he like groans something like "go away morty." and like wave his hand to shoo him and hes like feeling all groggy and disoriented because he was hungover and idk maybe the laser fucked with him a little but morty doesnt go away, still sobbing and like gripping onto ricks lab coat, so relieved that he's alive but even though hes alive now morty knows he was planning on killing himself and so between sobs he's like saying "i thought you were dead, rick!" and just other things like that and so rick sits up groggily, head spinning a bit and when the room comes into focus he realises morty's gripping a crumpled piece of paper and rick realises that it's his suicide note so he like tries to snatch it away but morty holds it close and rick gets all defensive, as he tends to, and like idk snaps at morty to "fucking give me that, morty." and morty's all like "no! what the hell rick? you tried to kill yourself?" and they argue and eventually morty stops trying to fight with rick and just breaks down crying, head in hands and rick just kinda stands there, as uncomfortable with emotions as he usually is, either awkwardly being like "don't cry morty..." or snapping "quit being a little bitch morty." and morty's just like "what would make you want to do something like that?" and ricks hackles rise immediately and he's all like "mind your own fucking business." or whatever and morty finally snaps "no! you always do this rick! you cant just shut yourself off from everyone and, what, expect me to be fine with you dying?" and i dont fucking know rick's a dick for a little bit more but eventually he just sinks down into his chair, resigned and Morty cautiously takes a step closer, like Rick's a bomb that could go off at any second.

"Rick?" He asks gently.

Rick sighs, his head falling into his hands. "I'm sorry, Morty, I-- I don't know what you want me to say."

"Don't apologise." Morty says, taking another small step. "I'm not mad, just w-w-- just worried. I could've lost you." He tries to keep his voice steady but it cracks, a small whimper passing his lips as tears well up in his eyes again.

Rick shifts away, uncomfortable. "Don't cry, Morty." He groans.

"Sorry." Morty sniffles, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. "I just... losing you, Rick..."

"You'll survive." He mutters sarcastically.

Morty tenses up. "Don't joke, Rick, this is serious! I'm seriously worried about you."

"Well don't be."

"You tried to kill yourself!"

Rick rolls his eyes. "So you keep mentioning, jesus."

and im in french class rn i have to go!!! bye this is so losely hashed out im sorry but thats just what ive had on my mind regarding ricks attempt n shit

[zeravmeta]

It's kind of insane how asking people to actually familiarize themselves with something before having an opinion on it is even all that demanding of others? like even past just asking people to respect visual novels as a medium its the same type of like. stubbornness and pride that I see in people who also broadly declare all horror as homogenous and trite, just torture porn for the *freaks*. or like those people who make distinctions between silly little relaxing games and real high octane gamer games because it makes them feel important. like they're above that genre/medium and they shouldn't have to lower themselves to enjoy it or even take the time to try it because its so beneath them, it needs to be spoonfed to them in easily understood terms. the media literacy issue is halfway people not letting themselves think critically (because its not just a random have it or you dont talent, you LEARN IT its a SKILL and a rather fun one at that) and half people who are prideful about it because the most complex thing they've ever engaged with is like. lord of the flies when they were made to read it in highschool when they absolutely didn't understand it and ever since have looked down on storytelling in general. the internet as an echo chamber def contributes to this to some extent because you can easily curate your own little corner but if you do it too much you basically make a closed room for yourself and any new idea is scary, something needing you to put in effort to understand is too hard and too frightening. i cannot stress enough that 'your experiences are not universal' also applies here, everyone can do whatever they want always and of course if you absolutely need to have an opinion when you aren't informed on the topic you can do that! but also literally no one will take it and likely most of your opinions seriously because all it does is show that you're too stubborn and prideful to even let yourself learn grow and change. you are not smart or unique for going against the current when the current is people inviting you to enjoy something they enjoy and reading/enjoying media isnt activism its just people doing something they like. this post was spurred by people who look down on visual novels for xyz arbitrary reasons but also it does not apply exclusively to visual novels literally just go out there and read/play through new media. anyways read popular visual novel fate stay night written by kinoko nasu released in 2004 so your opinions on saber can be informed and valid and after that. keep reading and watching more stuff. challenge yourself. maybe write or draw or create something. i believe in you.

[nutzworth]

its been a whole month. but you know what time it is? thats right.

DAY 6: MARCH 17, 2024

STATS: read for 1 hour 20 minutes (WEAK.) pages read: 1359-1592. 233 pgs slur count: 9 + 3 = 12 (dave, john x2. r slur) silly count: 11 + 1 = 12 (wv about his drawings) (i REALLY feel like i missed some... but whatever.) piss count: 2/3 (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) (dave pissed in his shower)

THOUGHTS: ok i didnt think a lot this round cus its like nearing midnight on a school night so im reading for funsies ok

act 4 has the story bouncing around way more than it did in previous acts. i saw a lot of the exiles today. and a lot of TROLLS! the exiles are so fun today i saw some pm and ar lore and wv pm ar all fought and then they had a meal. and wv and ar are trying to win over pm but she dont care. the WOMEN. panel. so good.

somethin else i reaaally noticed this time around is HOW GOOD HUSSIE WRITES! seriously these kids are talking so naturally its insane. i really like it. theyre so cute. they talk like me and my friends and its really good. hussies a really good writer guys

why did dave say that "i should probably text [john] soon. cus. i love him" why did he say that? and rose's "I know." why? what? im sure this has been read into like a million times but it feels so OUT OF POCKET. why did he SAY THAT? why does rose KNOW? what is anything.

today was the introduction to rose's exile and land. the land of light and rain. the combination of the land and the weird cursive exile and the weird loneliness and silence just really... it really creeps me out ok. "A mother does what's best for her children" with the empty dock with a cut rope and the martini. ugh. "There are footprints in the white sand." oh my god. IT CREEPS ME OUT. its SO QUIET it freaks me. augh. i love you rose

DAVE PEED THIS ROUND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the next (and last) on the piss counter is in the middle of act 6 so were gonna be sitting pretty for a damn while. daves kind of a freak to be real. he says "voyeurbot" and "little girl" in the same sentence. why did he say this?

PA HARLEY. PA HARLEY ON LAND OF WIND AND SHADE!!!! WOOOOOO!!!!!!!! oh oh aaaalso jade mentioned her penpal (JAKE!!!) and it got me a little excited. teehee. i looove jake english you dont even know

ummm dave entering the game... hes not in yet. but hes toying with his big machines and he got his totem and the object out. his egg. yeah. i didnt realize he was just playing with all this stuff and hes not even in the medium yet. craaaazy

WE SAW TEREZI THREE TIMES TODAY! THATS SO MUCH! SHES SO CUTE! i literally love terezi i always forget but i love her. shes so cool and silly and cute and the best. her convo with rose (her first one?) is so funny and awesome and ahh i love terezi. she says that the two of them were destined to be hatebuddies cus theyre both seers. ahhh

she also mentions some god tiers during that convo which was crazy. seer of mind. page of breath. knight of blood. maid of time. hussie just had this stuff on lock huh. why TAVROS'S classpect? not like vriskas? i dont know man.

karkat was so dumb today i cant even talk about him. he showed up twice and fumbled so bad. girl you havw GOT to stop being mean to people and yes that includes yourself. i really like karkat too i cant lie. hes so dumb so sweet. i love you karkat

jack noir just straight up gives pm a hit list for her king and queen for no reason. i mean yes there is a reason hes like "lol i do this to everyone wouldnt it be crazy if she was the one to get me their crowns lol" why does he do that? does he just have swords and symbols on lock? hes literally crazy

rose does her cool knitting needle in the monster thing. DAVE AND KANAYA CONVERSATION! i love them bad. rose and tavros is also funny but tavros types so much like a tool i can hardly stand it. im gonna be real i dont really like tavros. hes just not my style sorry

thats it sorry for not reading for a month. maybe ill do more this month haha. maybe maybe not. we will see ;-) thanks

[prentissluvr]

OKAY. it’s morning. it’s time to dissect. clear mind (4 hours of sleep. it’s okay.)

TO START. i love all of your fics ESP those that really have an overarching story, but these smaller ones you do really have my heart because they’re so comforting to read. like yeah!! nothing bad is ever going to happen!! wdym?? i’m just sitting in a stolen car with sam winchester rn, nothing bad ever happens!!

i also love LOVED the casual type of description style you went with with this chapter. your writings are always a meal, and i love angst and stuff you’re gonna get me crying with, but the occasional strictly fluff, mutual pining work is so nice to read. like you’ve got me BLUSHING at work reading this a second time to write this.

“”thanks,” you mumble, trying to sound as casual as possible as you feel his strong thighs under your own.” CAN WE TALK ABOUT THIS. RQ. LIKE. you got me SMILING HARDCORE AT MY PHONE. PUPILS ARE DILATED RN!!! hello. i’m freaking out??? this sentence is so incredibly simple but it speaks so much truth bc YES!! that’s what you do when you pine! like please. make marí’s sam winchester real and in love with me.

THIS TOO: “you’re not helping yourself. or maybe you are. you can’t really tell, because it’s sort of hard to breathe with his muscled forearm pressed up against your stomach.” this drove me insane, and not just bc it’s so INCREDIBLY SEXY AND HOT TO READ, but because of the internal monologue. i love first person because i feel like you connect with the internal monologue with the character, but i prefer second & third. now, having an internal monologue in second and third person, really just sets that precedent that’s gonna ruin every other writing for me. i love feeling this connection with the reader’s character by feeling their (very realistic) thoughts and feelings.

AND DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE FINAL PARAGRAPH. i always struggle with not making endings cheesy or too short, and you have the perfect balance. every single work of yours (in my opinion) ends with a perfect mix of poetry and prose to leave the reader satisfied, but also with an ability to control the narrative of the ending (in my opinion, sam and reader defo got together after. i don’t make the rules. that sexual tension needs to be relieved your honour!!!)

TL;DR, another amazing and brilliant work, marí! can’t wait to see what’s next 🧡

(P.S., also listened to guilty as sin? while reading this. took me to a whole other celestial dimension.)

oh grace you seriously are just too good to me IM CRYINGGGG I LOVE YOU SO BADDDD <333333

(feel you on the 4 hours of sleep!! i think i got exactly that much as well LMAO)

first of all, i'm just so grateful that you like all of my fics, no matter what kind. and i'm so so so grateful that you'd take all the time to tell me all of this!!! it really makes me feel so happy and good about myself and make me wanna keep writing more and more and more!!! so thank you so so so much for that.

and you're so right!! nothing bad ever happens!! ever ever ever!! heh...

and honestly i ended up liking the angst and all that, but fluff is where my heart lies!! it's my happy place i think, and it's what i've always been most comfortable writing tbh. so i'm really glad that you enjoy my pure fluff works like this one hehe (good luck at work!! don't get in trouble for sending asks and being the nicest human to me on earth ilysm)

it makes me crazy happy that something so simple would speak volumes to you like this!! it means so much!!! it makes me feel like "omg! it's working! the words thingy that i've been trying to do! it's working! yayayayay!!!" and i'm so so glad you enjoy the way i use second person in my writing and that it successfully connects you to the reader's character!!! <33

and i can't tell you how flattered i am that you think my endings are nice and balanced! honestly, i worry about them being a little cheesy too, but i actually kinda like cheesy endings so i try not to sweat it LOL but i'm seriously screaming at how you described how you feel about my endings with the prose and poetry, and you saying that i have a control over the narrative that you can actually sense is just amazing to me. thank you so so so dearly <33 (and i agree!! they absolutely got together, especially because dean leaves them alone in the motel room and you're forced to acknowledge your feelings because you might actually implode if you don't HAHA)

not the tl;dr HAHA I READ IT ALL FIVE TIMES OVER AGAIN !!! thank you so so so so so so so much for your kind words and support ilysm <3

(oH MY GOD I CAN ONLY IMAGINE HOW GOOD THAT SONG WOULD BE TO LISTEN WITH THIS FIC WOWOW)

[bradycore]

ok i know that you may not like destiel, but i promise you, as a fellow sam stan, the second half, especially the last couple chapters, of to become a man goes fucking wild for sam. it drives me feral even to this day. no spoilers tho.

when i was reading this fic, i would refer to to exist again because the interconnectivity is off the charts. the dialogue from the two fics are the same but the perspectives are different, so reading to exist again only or to become a man only is completely different experience off what is basically the same series. its like how arrested development's orginal formatting final season had all the different perspectives and jokes set up in each episode that didnt make sense until you watched the entire thing. and it is hilarious. the setup, which seem offhanded and weird pieces of dialogue in to exist again become key plot elements in to become a man. and deans perspective of magic is so different from sam's and cas. you just get a really good feel for how much of a freak sam is and how normal dean is in a world full of magic. it just adds another layer to world building.

and the fic addresses all of the issues i have about dean. it doesnt just wave a wand and make him unproblematic, but demenior makes dean work for it. he has character arc. he is not perfect at the end, but he is trying and that is what is important. and you also gotta to read to become a man just because of the whole cliff hanger for to exist again. once the to become a man has caught up with to exist again. i mean. the answers are definitely worth the wait.

i can tell you what specific chapters that are important for sam. i never reread the fic in its entirety but only to specific chapters that drive me, as a sam stan, insane. but its also the little moments between the major sam plot points that treat sam and deans relationship with such care and fucked-up-ness that i would recommend that you dont. you got to find the parts that drive you insane yourself

oh my god. i almost forgot about dem's characterization of purgatory. i dont want to spoil it, but it really expands on the wrongness of the leviathans and purgatory that supernatural never was able too.

and overarching themes. the overarching themes. its fucking beautiful and ties up everything so well. sam and dean have their own themes and arcs (which you can pretty much get from their story titles) that complement each other so well with the overarching message (the love it takes). it is wild. no it is well thought and planned.

warning: there is eldritch monster sex scenes in to become a man. you can skip it if you are not into it. there are warnings at the top of those chapters.

i could write essays about to exist again and to become a man. i could talk about them all day.

and it was such a joy reading it in real time. the theories and analyses that the readers made comment section for each chapter. the real time interactions with the author. it just made the experience so much better. and the music. oh the music that goes with this fic.

if i were you, i would reread to exist again whenever the timeline matches up with to become a man. it so worth it.

and the dem shares many of your cas/angel headcannons that are fully fleshed out in this fic.

oh and @demenior has little fics of the love it takes on their tumblr (this fic series is why i joined tumblr the first time around).

wow hello!!! it would be a mess to try and respond to each part of this individually but i read all of it closely and rlly appreciate the breakdown!!! i could rave about to exist again all day for the rest of time (the lorebuilding alone holy shit??? seriously its. im. its SO good.) and you make an excellent case for to become a man (congrats on ur lawboy coding) so clearly i will just have to reread the former and read the latter as soon as possible

[redbleedingrose]

hey babe ❤️ i saw your last ask response and i just wanted to say i love you. you are a beautiful kind amazing thoughtful creative talented wonderful person and you deserve the world. i am so so sorry that youre having a bad brain day- i fully understand (ive been having them a lot too) and i am ALWAYS here if you need ANYTHING at all. i adore you. genuinely one of my favorite creators on the app 😘 i know there isnt a whole lot that i could say that will truly make everything better, sometimes it just has to run its course, but im gonna try anyway bc yes. where you are seeing flaws and problems and small tiny things that rub you the wrong way and make you feel bad about yourself, i (along with so many others) only see the best most wonderful human. you are loved. you are appreciated. and anything or anyone that makes you feel otherwise is full of shit. <3 thank you for being one of my comfort writers i run away to when im having a rough time - and while i dont write (well. i dont write well) if there is anything i can offer to make you feel better i BEG of you to let me know. i will always be support (and a hype person) if you need it. ENDLESS LOVE FROM ME AND GIRLDAD!ERIS 🥰 -k

I-

sigh. What did I do to deserve you? Seriously, what did I do?

You are out here about to make me cry...

I don't even know what to say. I just am so stunned by your love and support. I don't even know how to process it, literally so overwhelmed with your love and support. Thank you. That is really the only thing that I can say because there are no words. No words to express how lucky and grateful I am for you.

It was def just a bad brain day, was feeling super exhausted and kinda bad about not putting out much in terms of writing in a hot second. I just am so fucking lucky to have you in my corner. It meant so so much to read this, and it made me feel 1000x better!!

I love you so so so so much and absolutely freaking adore you. You are one of my favorite followers to interact with because your support just kills me. Seriously, sends me to the grave with joy.

Thank you so much for all your love!!!

And thank you for reminding me Girl Dad!Eris is always in my corner!!

[captainaikus]

I AM BACK!!!!!!! And idk if you saw the post I tagged you in explaining and apologizing tumblrs being wonky again because I didn’t see that bachisagi post you tagged me in on your main until I was scrolling through and catching up just now. I have been swamped with juggling school staring again, family, and that friend stuff I told you abt. And the only free time I’ve had is watching TR. I HAVENT EVEN WATCHED THE LATEST BLLK EPISODE YET AND I WANNA SOB BECAUSE ITS THE POST-BACHISAGI BREAKUP EP 😭😭😭. I’ve just had no energy at the end of the day and every time I think I finally have time to respond back to you something always comes up and I wanna tear my hair out. I PROMISE I HAVENT BEEN IGNORING YOU LOVE. But I understand if you’re upset at me and I’m sorry Belle.

I was furious like my blood was boiling when I saw your fic got flagged down. Like what is wrong with people??? Can you not just let other people be and keep your negativity to yourself??? Just because you’re falling doesn’t mean you have to drag others with you asshole. Seriously. You did not deserve that and being so angry and upset over it (with it happening AGAIN and it not even being the FIRST time unwarranted) is completely understandable, I’d be pissed too. I still am actually. It’s so frustrating working so hard on something and then getting pointless hate for it like get a life and stay away from me. 😤😤😒

On another note, I have been getting SO MUCH Tokyo Revengers content the past few days and that has been my only relief from this hectic week. Im being fed so well girl. New episodes every Saturday with my favorite arc being animated, the new character book, new official arts, AND SO MUCH MORE AFJHFFHJGHINH. Also I’m so sorry I missed your event 😭😭😭. You even extended it and I had so many asks saved too 🥲🥲. But I didn’t wanna just demand stuff without explaining where I’d been because I’m not an ass like that but every time I started drafting something for you (not for the event) I’d get interrupted 😒😒. *sighs heavily*

IVE BEEN READING YOUR EVENT ASKS CAUSE I JUST GOT OUT OF CLASS AND ASDFJJGFFHHGFKJ THEYRE ALL SO GOOD BELLE 😭😭. I love them all so freaking much (esp the Bachira ones 👀😌✨) and I’m sad I couldn’t participate but hopefully next time. BUT DONT WORRY IM ALREADY DRAFTING AN ASK FOR THE MATCHUP EVENT THERES NO WAY IM MISSING THAT 😤😤.

CONGRATULATIONS ON 1.9K BELLE IM SO FREAKING PROUD OF YOU LOVE!!!!! 🥹😭❤️ Your numbers keep climbing so fast and it’ll only be a matter of time before you hit 2k 😌😌. Also I’m so glad you’re getting support from new people too and how they’re all loving your works it’s so heartwarming to see and read and really a testament to how far you r come. Be proud of yourself because no matter how much hate you get you’re still continuing to do amazing love ❤️❤️❤️.

I really am sorry for going MIA for a bit there and I understand if you’re upset with me. How’ve you been irl btw?? Uni going well I hope? How’s gym? Has your break ended yet? Go on and vent if you need to love!! Update me on your life because I truly do want to know how’re you’re doing yknow?? Remember to take breaks and take care of yourself love!!! Eat something and drink a glass of water if you haven’t today!!! *sending all the virtual hugs because I missed you and I’m sorry*

p.s. no asks on the way soon 👀🫡

- ✨ anon

Starry!! Ofc I’m not upset with you! You’re usually very active on my blog, so I figured something must’ve come up cause you were away. I wanted to drop in your askbox; but I could find it so I decided to tag you in my posts instead to see if you’re doing alright and you’re doing well so I’m relieved <3

Tumblr has been acting wonky :/ - literally. I had to write to staff about my posts not showing up in the tags and all they did was delete it?

I figured since it was taking so long, I might as well just shift to ao3 and my work has been good so far - working on a yandere rin wip and I’m about 2k words in but since Uni and work keeps getting in the way, i can’t finish it as fast. But. Ik for the fact that this’ll be worth the wait cause. You’ll see 😏

As for my works getting flagged down, it is an inconvenience, but with every work that does get flagged down - people on the other side of the screen are just proving the fact that they can’t keep up with my writing or the fact that my content is well received and I get mostly healthy interactions. I was pretty angry with it, but then I just decided to take it to ao3 instead and I had been thinking about this for months. I take that this was a sign that I should do it and not leave it as a plan cause tumblr has turned toxic over a period of time, among authors and readers alike. So why not minimize the trouble for everyone go somewhere better? Ao3 had really good content;

More plot leaning and good story lines with occasional smut, and both sides are really chilled out. Plus another thing that disappoints me about tumblr is that smut sells really fast here and even Twitter links get more likes than actual writing. And after thinking over it for a while - I realized that my writings are more to do with things human along with lust than just purely writing about lust yk? So in short, my work isn’t meant for tumblr. And I’m not a very interactive author either - I don’t reblog much works and neither do I have any author I can personally recommend cause I stopped reading fanfics here about 2 years ago and I don’t even check the tags anymore since then, only to see if my work showed up or not. but anyway- i made my moveout official still gonna answer asks and host events here tho - and talk to anyone about stuff in general

now talking about tokyo rev, super happy about the new season coming out and honestly? this is the fastest i've seen them make it cause JJBA fans- ykw i'm talking about. Had to wait so long just for stone ocean part 2 to come out And i'm really looking forward to watching vinland saga (cause that's out and istg - canute is such a pretty boy, this is that one anime that made me cry cause Askeladd. nvm I don't wanna give spoilers) AND YES! you did make it to the matchup event !! (i got your ask) as for the character ask i had fun with it as well - Some of the highlight questions I liked; one of them was a question for Rin, asking if (y/n) was single? and istg the way i laughed cause the way he would have a look on his face after that, Bachira is a ray of sunshine to have - such a cutie (>///<) [take your time on working starry! There’s not rush! Ik how annoying it is to get interrupted when you’re writing something] And tysm for your kind words !! Seriously though I should be thanking you guys for giving me your support esp you starry - cause you were one of the first anons along with blue to actually make a convo on my blog and it kinda made other people wanna talk as well (҂ ꒦ິヮ꒦ິ) And no! I'm not upset with you! I knew something was maybe up cause you're never usually gone this long - And you can come to my blog anytime you want - to rant, ask for advice or just talk anything 'kay? ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა As for uni, its on full throttle - *sigh* so much work to do but I'm working on it a little everyday and getting things done as soon as possible. but the cold is making me so drowsy to function. I cut my hair shorter too, its an undercut with a pixie so now i look like a fem ver of corpse - And i re-watched some of my old animes - like i had the urge to watch devilman crybaby this week and i did. the only reason i watched that anime was cause of the clip i saw of Akira's... on the ceiling... (ikyk), rewatched death note - cause i wanted to see L and honestly L is THE emo king. (yeah i had a whole emo phase before turning into a dark academia/ classic aesthetic gal -) and alot of people are getting into tokyo ghoul - *finished the whole manga collection at the age of 14* As for gym... story time. I was busy lifting weights and this man. he is muscular sure, got bulging biceps and a lean body and yet. he had the audacity to chase me out of my corner in the gym and take it instead to lift his weights. He looked at me dead in the eye and gave me the meanest look possible. I couldn't take him seriously cause... he was shorter than me... *not size shaming i swear but when you look at me like that - i can't take you seriously* Me : I do not care if you're more macho than me, I will throw you across the gym, you tiny tiny man. And I just finished another whole bottle of water - hope you’re doing well starry! *sending hugs back*

[ibolyafagyi]

social pressures eating my ass up.......... i freak out about making new irl contacts online, as in adding someone i met in real life ; and im also insecure trying to measure up with my few instagram numbers on my private account. because my numbers are low, its like im elevating the ppl that i do have contact with, like those 20 ppl are my bffs, which is not at all true. its a couple past dating app matches, a really few legit friends, a few of their friends, loose university contacts.

i want everyone to see me quietly, unknowingly, and know that im interesting.

i dont want to make new contacts.

i dont want to be "someone who cares about this".

so many ppl from my major have hundreds of followers, insta baddies, strangely preoccupied with a niche aesthetic, that at the end still feels alien to me. i wanna be like that, but also i havent been collecting contacts since years ago, and i feel like i still dont do it "right" currently, i dont wanna add new contacts... i dont want to look at and care for other people, i want people to care for me, reinforce me!

i feel like i need a token friend in my learnt language (my major). it feels, seems easy for others to do, n i feel like im late again, just like in all my teens about making friends and making steps in socialization. i am at the same time literally running from the exchange student i ended up in contact with. and it makes me feel small that i dont wanna meet her. and if i think about my therapist picking at this and asking why, i get soooo annoyed. ik its telling something, it may be regressive to not engage, but i wont cuz i have a lot on my plate rn, even if i miss this specific opportunity. might be bc of the selfishness of give me x, but i dont wanna give you anything.

reading back, all this seems so juvenile. its not like people have more authentic connections cuz they have instagram contacts.

i hate my therapist for making these problems so everyday in their nature, like what steps can we do to do that simple thing that im insecure about. in my brain i know it, i have the voice telling me it, that its not glorious and not dramatic and not huge, but i dont internalize ngl!!! cuz i hate the ungloriousness of it!! i preemptively feel stupid about them. i take them seriously, but it feels like this sentiment wants to cancel that, emotionally. they are huge things for me, and it feels so dissatisfying that others are incapable of seeing me/it that way, that its just another small thing for them, my big step a dust in their universe..... is that self-centeredness and immaturity? i mean yea. is it also perhaps a wound? i mean it could be?

i have other friends i havent written back to in a year. i have my high school classmates i was never comfortable with. ik its mostly about getting over it. no ones even forcing my hand to be besties with anyone, to go back and befriend my high school class at a reunion. it just comes back exactly because im stressed and insecure ----------

this loneliness sucks so fucking bad!

i hate overindulgent introverts bc this is that side of me! wallowing in own sadness. i wanted to believe i just have to believe in connection with other people, but it doesnt necessarily work just like that. i cant know. i cant decide. i cant just go in and feel fine and connected always. the answer to this particular step isnt "just suck it up and extrovert more". its not "introvert and find yourself cool by yourself" either.

i dont want it to be "stop thinking about yourself so much" either. cuz come on >:( i have to be between people all day everyday, changing situations, how could i stop perceiving my percepted perception! instagram is that perception hyperrealized. its an imitation and caricaturization of that same reality, but also it *is* a part of reality, its not like its not. ugh

[bloodpenned]

plz plz plz can you write m!whitney skullfucking pc

wordcount: 2.5k (can’t believe this is the first time i write an actual fic on here.) cw: noncon, detailed ero guro / gore porn, eye trauma, drugging, knives, vomit mention, needle mention, degradation, victim blaming.

or: whitney fucks your eye socket and prepares you for the act. don’t read this to upset or trigger yourself, please.

Since all of your holes have been used by others, Whitney makes one for himself.

“Look at you- You can barely keep your fucking head up, slut.”

The voice drifts to you from far away, a figure leaning over the ice you’re trapped under. Where am I?, you ask, but all your vocal cords produce is a gurgle. Your limbs are made of cement and frozen in place. Letting yourself be dragged back into the depths of unconsciousness is much easier than staying afloat. Through trembling eyelids, you barely make out the shape of the person in front of you. Their legs, to be precise. Pain shoots through your scalp and you jolt, finally present enough for the ties around your wrists and ankles to register in your mind, the cold wall you’re leaning against. That it’s Whitney, because who fucking else would it be, yanking you up by your hair. Your tongue still refuses to move. 

“Follow.” His voice feigns disinterest. Yet he keeps shuffling, leaning his weight more on one leg, then the other again. He holds his hand in front of your face, moving it from side to side. Your head is so fuzzy you see no reason to disobey. By the time you’ve caught up with him to the right, he’s already back the other way. Your eyelids droop. He laughs. “God, you’re out of it. Poor you, did I gave you a little too much? You can’t say I’ve ever underestimated you.”

As soon as his grip loosens, your head drops and black dots litter your vision. Drool spills from your mouth. Something bad is about to happen, there’s no other explanation for this. His hands will end up all over your body again. But there’s no chatter of his friends, no flashes of cameras, so different from the usual that you don’t know what to expect. The world fades out, before flickering back in the middle of a sentence.

“...pay me back. Got that? Good.” The hand is back in your hair, keeping you steady. He’s digging around in his pocket. “If you weren’t such a whore, I wouldn’t have to do this. Did you think I wouldn’t see those pictures? Wouldn’t know when my slut’s gagging around someone else? I promised I would beat some sense into you if you didn’t listen, so here we are.”

Whitney’s found what he had been looking for. There’s something in his hand, moving toward your face too quickly to make out. Everything’s so blurry that even while squinting, you can’t immediately tell what it is. You nearly go crosseyed trying to figure it out. A handle clenched in his fist, gray, reflecting surface, ending in a sharp point-

A knife.

“You’re a fucking cumbrain already, but I’ll give you one too.”

You watch the situation unfold from the back of your skull. This is happening to someone else, anyone except you. It’s a movie, and a bad one at that. You can’t pinch your arm to wake yourself up. Whitney had hurt you before, sure, with his bare hands. Never like this. He’s always made fun of Kylar for having to resort to knives, why would he use one now? Is it just a threat? It has to be. Then again, you’re so disoriented you don’t stand a sliver of a chance against him. Your heart hammers against your ribcage, so loud it makes your head throb. The furthest your abilities go is to shake your head and force a whimper from your throat, rubbing your wrists raw on the zip tie. Whitney presses cold steel against your cheek. You try to spit at him, but you can’t put any force behind it. It dribbles down your chin in a slow stream. 

Whitney barks out a laugh. “What the fuck are you, a dog?” The knife digs into your skin, a gentle push away from slicing you open. “Don’t get to get too excited yet, we haven’t even started, slut.” He slides the blade up to your bottom eyelid, leaving a shallow cut. (Your brain is fuzzy. Your cheeks are warm, burning- Are you blushing? Is the wetness rolling down your face a tear?) Your fingers twitch, your teeth grind together, every muscle pulled tight like a bowstring. 

His breathing is laboured, eyes boring into yours, expression blank for a mere moment. Whitney, as you know him from school, is all but empty. He’s of scoffing and snarling, of laughter and grins- This is nothing you recognize. Your gut twists. Every instinct in your body is screeching at the top of its lungs for you to run. At the same time, another part tells you to stay as still as possible, as if you will simply fade out of existence if you don’t move. (But it’s okay, because none of this is real, and you’re at the orphanage in bed curled up under the covers, and you’ll wake up late and rush to get your uniform to not miss the bus and you’ll be fine, you’ll be fine, you’ll be fine-) Whitney’s tongue darts out to trace his upper lip, his fingers turning white around the handle. 

The next, there is a blow of air against your eye before pure, indescribable agony accompanied by a wet squelch. You’re dying, you’re dying, you’re dying, it’s over- Half of your face has been blown off, your brain is exposed for all to see and poke and prod, your lungs collapse with every breath, your throat spasms around vomit. What’s left of your right side of vision is a red and black pulsating blur. The screams, the sole outburst you’re capable of, are mere groans in the back of your throat. Your mouth opens and closes like a fish on land. Blood, sweat, tears, pus, slime- You wouldn’t know. Something oozes down your face, thick mucus, making a mess on your lap. You’re warm, you’re cold, sweat thick underneath your clothes. Everything is wet. Everything is hot.

A hand is on your head, stroking. The sensation dissapears into and becomes one with the pain, the thing that melts everything else away. “There you go, you’re being so good! But I’m not done yet.” He speaks to you in the tone reserved purely for dogs. From the corner of your good eye, you can see him reaching his fist back and pounds it against the handle, your entire world dissolving into nothing as it hits.

When you wake up, you do so to a palpitating heart that’s skipping beats left and right, to a convulsing body, to spit frothing at your mouth and a needle in your leg. The gag in your mouth rubs against your tongue and tastes of sweat. Whitney has discorded the knife, left it at your feet. Your eyeball looks like scrambled egg white on one end, a sloppy mess, and you gag. At one point or another, you will have to come to term with the fact that you’re never going to see from it again.

“Can’t have you leaving before the party’s started.” Your head whips around, the sensation of something sloshing inside your eye socket immediately making you regret it. Wind blows straight into the wound and causes you to ear up. He’s on your right. Somewhere. What you assume to be the syringe falls to the ground with a clatter. There’s no way he isn’t standing there, in the void he created, on purpose. You would’ve preferred to be really fucking dead right now. Let him rape your corpse, at least you wouldn’t have to be there to notice it. Whatever he injected you with, it’s all so much sharper now. The lights are brighter, every little step he takes ringing in your ears, your right eye (or the slurry that’s left of it) aflame. You rock back and forth to shuffle further away from him, but you’re already backed against a wall and the movement makes the blood in your skull slosh alongside it.

“Gotta check if you’re wet enough for me. Thank me later, slut.” Whitney pulls on your eyelashes, the tip of his finger teasing the hole. Once in a while, it dips into the wound, your nerves tingling in anticipation at the near touch. Breath hitching every time, your brain can’t comprehend what’s exactly happening to you. Your heart pounds in your ears, your limbs keep twitching against your will. Now that you can, you want to struggle, but you’re so scared of that pain, terrified that he could choose to take the other one as well.

All you want is for this to be over. You just want to be home. As flawed of a home it is, it’s still the one place you can think to return to. (Robin will be there, waiting for you. They always have. Could you still keep up with them during games, now that you’re like this? Bailey’s presence, suffocating as it is, at least keeps you safe from intruders. How pissed off are they going to be, now that you're a damaged ware?)

“Can’t you sit still for one fucking second? You wanna know what it feels like when I slip so badly?” Your head jerks to the side against your will, foot hitting his ankle. “I guess you do, huh? But, fuck- You keep writhing around, maybe I should give the needy whore what they want. You’re soaked, that’s for sure.”

Whitney pulls away, his fingers coated a pale red. Using your hair as a rag, he smears the fluids in it, tugging on it once for good measure. He takes a step back, descends back outside your field of vision. There’s the rustling of fabric, unbuckling of a belt, a zipper being undone. You begin to plead through your gag, repeating muffled, incomprehensible words, because please, anything but this, not right now, not ever, hasn’t he done enough, isn’t he satisfied, he’s already ruined you enough, please, just please-

“It’s cute you think you have a choice.”

There’d been a nagging suspicion in the back of your head that it would come down to this. Every meeting with Whitney would end up leading down the same path, but this time... You choke on your breaths, chest heaving with sobs. With every shock of your shoulders, more heat leaks out of your eyes, your entire face turning into one throbbing mess. You squeeze your eyes shut. (There’s no way you can move the right eyelid, the knife has torn straight through it. All it is now is limp meat, hanging on by a thread.) His dick presses against your cheek. Fucking hell, why does he have to be so big too? There’s ringing in your ears as he leaves a trail of precum, mingling with the mess already there. His scent overpowered by the metallic smell of blood. Why can’t you just pass out again? But you’re still twitching, thoughts racing faster than you can keep track of.

“You’ve been asking for this, don’t try to deny it. I’m not stupid. Well, you’ve got my attention now. You better be grateful.” He misses the first time, the head of his dick rubbing against your eyebrow. Whitney curses underneath his breath. Trembling fingers tug your eyelids as far apart as possible and you hate it, you hate this so fucking much, you want someone to come by here to save you, you want to sink through the floor, you want to die.

He sucks in a breath through grit teeth, and hits his mark. You’re not sure how much he crammed inside your skull, but all of it was too much, too cruel. The screaming is clear through your bounds, raking your throat raw. Whichever way you move, his cock stays lodged in between the bone. The muscles snap and tear, the bones crack, the flesh, like the tight fit that it is, clings around his dick, and he groans as he pushes himself further inside. An impossible amount of more fat and mucus and slime comes free, clogging your nose. The back of your head slams against the wall with every movement, but it doesn’t hurt, doesn’t compare. 

There’s nothing else. There can be nothing else. Your mind is full and empty at the same time. He’s all you can think about, he’s fucking the memory of him into your brain, leaving his permanent mark. Is this what he wanted? You’re being dissected, pulled apart, the creases of your brain violated. He’s saying things, (tight, mess, slut, enjoying, loud.), but he’s pulling out and the scrape of the warm flesh makes the scenery blur. Your throat feels like it was pulled across sandpaper.

The pressure dissipates and you cry in pure relief. But, a moment later, he’s back in and down a slightly different path at a slightly different angle and there’s more snapping, more gushes of fluid. The only thing that will ever fit there again will be him. The perfect little cocksleeve. He’s pushing up against something and you don’t know what, but every time he twitches and brushes against it, your entire vision blacks out. Where the pain reached a crescendo before, it’s turned around to be almost numbing now. Are your nerves torn up? Are you dying?

“Open your mouth. Wait, fuck-” He’s breathless, stuttering over his words. His dick twitches and scrapes against bone. Trembling fingers remove the gag from your mouth. If this were literally any other situation, you might have been almost proud to have turned him into such a wreck. “Stick your tongue out and it’ll be over. Done.”

You latch onto those words like a lifeline. No matter how it ends, you just want it to be over. Without much more than a second of delay you do as he asks, your good eye rolling up to try and look at him. Considering how full your head is, you hardly notice the strings of cum being added to the pool, until some of it leaks through your nose and onto your tongue. He puts one hand on your head, shaking it until more follows. (Though his cum isn’t the only thing there.)

Strings of blood and slime stick to his dick like drool as he pulls out. You hate him. You hate yourself. You hate this fucking town, and you hate every piece of shit in it. Your brain is a cacophony of screaming, of visions of growing fangs and claws and tearing him to shreds, of burning this whole town down. All you do is stare up without really looking, eyes glazed over. You’re tired, so unbelievably tired. All you want to do is rest, even if it’s while bleeding out in some shitty alleyway. His voice drifts to you from far away, smile clear in his tone.

“That wasn’t so bad, was it?”

An eye for an eye has never sounded so appealing before.