#i took them off because i got attached and wanna use them myself

[cicadagaze]

okay making my own post this time, but here are some more "incorrect" names (though not all of them are super long this time) because I like doing this

Hyenabark, Albatrosswhistle, Amanitaspeckle, Meadowlarkfeather, Nightingalemushroom, Mockingbirdlaugh

Chinchillamountain, Penguinicicle, Polyporeforest, Toadstoolwhisker, Pistachioshell, Poinsettiafrost, Honeysucklepuddle

and there you go <3

[starkeyboy]

how to be a heartbreaker

luke castellan x aphrodite!reader

this ate when i was 9 and it still eats

the moment the pink aura radiated off my skin was when i knew. i had been claimed by aphrodite. everyone looked at me in awe as the acne on my face washed away, the kinks in my hair straightening out and turning into a blowout. i caught eyes with a boy who had been training me since i got here. the boy i didn’t know that would be a target in a game called love.

***

5 years later

“now listen, y/n, being a daughter of aphrodite isn’t easy,” silena beauregard, my half sister, said. i sat in a chair looking at myself in the mirror as she stood behind me with her hands on my shoulders. “now that you’re old enough like me, we have one rule.” i looked at her confused when she sighed.

“just one? how is that hard?” i said. she looked at me in the mirror with her eyebrows raised.

“our mother, the goddess of love, sex…heartbreak pretty much. for us to find the one, y/n, you have to break the first one’s heart,” she said. i grew confused. “pretty much just find someone, make them fall in love you and drop them, and then your set to fall in love with the one.”

“so i have to destroy someone’s heart for mine to fall for someone else? what if i end up falling for that one?” i said as i turned to face her. she smiled and shook her head.

“you won’t, i promise, because if you follow these rules, you won’t fall in love with them.” she turned around and pulled out a piece of paper.

“Rule number one is that you gotta have fun

But, baby, when you're done, you gotta be the first to run”

i huffed as luke pushed me with his foot to the ground once again. he smirked at me as he walked over and stood above me.

“i thought you were supposed to go easy on me,” i winced as i sat up. he chuckled and held out his hand to help me up.

“well i thought you were gonna be busy doing makeup once you got claimed but apparently not all aphrodite kids are the same, so im gonna make you the best,” he said as his hand didn’t let go of mine. i looked up at him and i realized. he was my target.

i took a step back and i smiled. “how am i gonna be the best when you are, castellan?” i asked as his cheeks blushed. “or are you just wanting to get close to me?” his eyes widened as he stammered over his words. he shook his head trying to deny it.

“i’m joking, hero, im trying to have fun.” i smirked at him.

***

i looked at silena as she said the first rule, my eyebrows raised.

“did apollo help her write that?” i asked jokingly as she laughed a little.

“now that i’m reading it out loud, it does sound like a song,” she laughed out.

“Rule number two, just don't get attached to

Somebody you could lose

So le-let me tell you”

i walked into the arena, seeing luke cutting a dummy’s head off. i stood in awe for a second and then remembered why i was here. i needed attention.

“i’m starting to think those are real people in your head, hero,” i said as i walked closer. he stopped what he was doing and looked at me.

“i can only imagine if they were,” he said as he picked up the head full of hay and threw it out. “what are you doing here though, thought silena said cabin 10 was off limits tonight.” i shrugged and put my hand on the sword of his.

“that’s the cabin you’re talking about, not me,” i said as he loosens his grip on the sword slightly but gets a grip on it once he notices. “and i was hoping if i could get some private lessons from the best swordsmen.” i smiled at him as he had this dazed look into his eyes. i got him.

“yeah, i guess i could do that,” he said as he smiled slightly. i took a step back and grabbed a sword from a nearby rack and stood in place.

as we were swinging at each other, i noticed that he had lost some of strength and was going easy on me. i knew deep down that it was the daze in his eyes and he was pretty much enchanted. but i was kind of hoping it was him just being tired. shit…i didn’t wanna curse the boy…just break his heart real quick.

my arm collided against his chest as he fell back. i huffed out some air and walked over to him. he was breathing heavy and looking at me in shock. i smirked at him as i held out my hand. once he stood, i patted his chest and placed it there.

“well, hero, looks like the training is working.” i smiled at him. he just smiled and shook his head.

“i was just going easy,” he denied. i chuckled as i took a step back. his face dropping slightly.

“whatever you say, hero.” and i sauntered off.

i took a deep breath out as i left the arena. maybe i should’ve picked a different boy.

i think i’m falling for him.

***

silena smiled at me as i walked into the cabin. i immediately went to her.

“i can’t change who i break, can i?” i asked as she furrowed her eyebrows. but then she realized.

“you’re falling for him, aren’t you?” she said as i sat down on my bed. she sat down next to me and put her hand on my shoulder.

“you said this wouldn’t happen if i followed the rules.” i stated. she sighed as she reached into my drawer and grabbed the paper that she given to me.

“maybe a few more days and you’ll forget you even looked at him in that way.” she looked to me and gave me the paper and pointed to rule number 3.

“Rule number three, wear your heart on your cheek

But never on your sleeve, unless you wanna taste defeat”

i took a deep breath as i saw luke sitting on the beach. i walked over and sat next to him, playfully pushing his shoulder.

“looks like you need some company, hero.” he smiled at me as he nodded his head.

“only if it’s your company,” he smirked at me. i blushed but immediately looked away. i couldn’t let him get to me. i was in control of this game.

“what are doing out here anyways?” i said as i looked out to the sea, trying to not make eye contact. it was silent for a sec and i looked at him to see he was just staring at the ocean.

“i’m tired of the gods not taking initiative to claim their kids,” he said. he turned his head and looked to me. “my cabin is a mess,” he smiled. i smiled back and laughed softly.

“maybe if you sweet talk annabeth and silena, they’ll give you at most 3 out 5 for trying.” i said as he chuckled. his eyes stared into mine and i got lost in his. i could feel the heat rush to my ears and cheeks. i looked away, shyly. but i looked back for only to luke bring his hand up and brush some hair away from my face.

“i’m really glad you’re here, y/n,” he whispered. i felt my heart flutter but i could hear my moms voice.

“you’re cheek sweetheart, not sleeve.”

i smiled at him and shrugged. “that’s what friends are for, right?” i said, lying straight to his face. i looked away and i could see his face fall slightly but he sat straight and nodded.

“of course, you’re always right.”

***

silena walked into the cabin and gave me a knowing look.

“you tell luke to sweet talk me to giving his cabin 3/5?” she said smirking. i shrugged and laughed slightly.

“i have no idea what you’re talking about,” i said shaking my head. she sat down next to me and leaned her head on my shoulder.

“silena?” i said as i looked ahead, the feeling sinking in.

“yeah?” she looked up and looked worried. i guess the tone in my voice wasn’t too happy.

“i think i love luke”

“Rule number four, gotta be looking pure

Kiss him goodbye at the door, and leave him wanting more, more”

the apollo kids sang as i sat with luke, annabeth, percy, grover, silena and charlie around the campfire. my head was elsewhere, my mind just thinking of the curse of a rule. i felt a hand go on my back, i looked over to see luke looking at me worried.

“you okay?” he said. i admired his face as it glowed with the fire. his scar making him look even more of a hero than anyone else.

“will you actually walk me to my cabin? i’m really tired,” i sighed out and he immediately nodded. he got up and held out his hand for me to take. i took it and walked away with everyone’s eyes on us.

we walked in silence until we got to the door, never noticing our hands still locked. we stood in front and i looked back at our hands. my other hand took initiative as it worked its way up his chest. i looked up to him and i could see what he was feeling. lust. love. my hand snaked to his scar on his face as i leaned up.

our lips met for a brief moment when i pulled away, his chasing mine. i smiled and i kissed his cheek and whispered.

“i’ll see you in the morning, hero,” i kissed him again and walked into my cabin, leaving him going crazy.

***

tears fell down my face as i looked to the ceiling. the door to the cabin opened as silena and my other siblings walked in, but they immediately stopped seeing me.

“y/n?” silena said as she walked over to me. she sat on the edge of the bed and put her hand on my shoulder.

“i can’t do it,” i whispered, shaking my head. more tears spilled from my eyes as i thought of him.

she sighed as she smoothed my hair down. i could tell the others were looking at me with sympathy as i cried.

“i know it’s hard, y/n, it’s okay,” she said. i sat up as anger rises in me.

“that’s the thing silena, it’s not okay, because i’ve fallen in love with him. you promised i wouldn’t if i followed four simple rules. it’s been weeks, silena,” i said as i sobbed. “what’s the point of doing all this!” i yelled as i punched the bed. she flinched but proceeded to grab the paper. i nearly ripped it out of her hands because it was stupid. this whole game was stupid. but she moved it away and flipped it over.

“we do whatever it will take, 'Cause girls don't want our hearts to break in two, so it's better to be fake, can't risk losing in love again.” she said as she folded the paper. i threw the blanket off of me as i stood up and stared at her. i held out my hand for her to give me the paper. she handed it to me.

this is how to be a heartbreaker written on top in pink with hearts around it. how ironic. i then proceeded to rip the paper in pieces. i heard everyone gasp as i tore it more and more.

“i’m done playing her game, because in the end, it’s not gonna be me breaking his heart. it’s gonna be me breaking my own,” i said as i threw the pieces on the floor and stormed out.

***

it was just an hour before curfew when i knocked on the hermes cabin door. hearing voices dial down as the door opened. chris stood confused as he stared at me.

“whatcha need? the stoll brother steal something for you?” he said as he smiled. i shook my head and looked around him. luke no where in sight.

“where’s luke?” i asked as he chuckled.

“i’d figure that was the real reasons why you were here, he’s at the shore,” he said as he took a step back. i nodded and immediately went to him.

when i stepped foot on the shore, i saw him with his knees pressed to his chest. i could feel his feelings. betrayal. hurt. love.

i sat next to him and instead of playfully pushing him, i only slightly touched his shoulder to mine.

“you look like you could use some company, hero,” i said quietly as i tried to make him smile. he only looked out to the water as i sighed. i knew he knew.

“can i ask you a question?” he said as he looked over to me. i nodded as i searched in his eyes for anything. “when were you gonna do it?” he asked as my eyebrows furrowed. “when were you gonna do rule number 5?” he clarified. i felt my heart break in half. i looked away as i played with the rough sand.

i shook my head and took a shaky breath. i felt angry at my mother. how can a goddess of love be so cruel. i shifted and faced luke.

“i wasn’t gonna do it,” i said as i reached up to his cheek. he had tears in his eyes as i looked at him. his hand went up to my wrist. i felt tears in my own eyes. “if i broke your heart, i would’ve broken mine too,” i said as i rubbed my thumb on his cheek.

“you mean that?” he asked quietly. i leaned my forehead on his and nodded. i leaned in slightly, scared he was gonna leave. he pulled me closer, bringing my body to his.

“i’ve loved you since the day i got accepted by you, luke castellan,” i whispered to him. his lips ghosted mine and i could feel him smiling. his lips pressed into mine and his hands pressed into my hips. my hands went to his neck and tangled my fingers in his curls.

he pulled away and looked at me. “i love you too, y/n,” he said as kissed me more. but he pulled away again for a second as he grimaced. i furrowed my eyebrows. did i do something? “call me hero though, luke doesn’t sound right,” he laughed and i smiled and laughed with him.

“of course, hero. my hero.”

[patchofgrey]

Welcome to Part One of my head cannons for my OTP:

Nejiten Head cannons; Part two , Part 3

Tenten Head Cannons | Neji Head Cannons | Nejiten Family Head cannons

I have a few head cannons for these two that I wanna throw out there; Writing these two for like 10 years has made me realized that no matter what situation they are in (if writing in character) they are the idealistic couple. Sure, they argue and fumble the bag sometimes, but their dynamic is FIERCE. You cannot tell me that his most trusted friend, partner, and balanced scale IS NOT IDEAL? These are my head cannons that I base my stories on while writing them in character (which took a long time to do honestly, writing in character with characters who are not fully developed is hard as fuck. But you take whatever crumbs you get.)

Plus, I would’ve changed a bunch of things in this anime but that’s besides the point

😤

Follow me on my delulu because it’s the only solulu:

1. Neji started liking Tenten prior to the second round fights of the chunnin exams. It started as admiring her skills, but grew to an emotional level as time went on. He asked her specifically to train with him because he felt that she was able to keep up and offer him a challenge in a realm he was not skilled in; weapon handling and evasion. This is going off of the fact that in one of the video games, Tenten had beat both Neji and Lee in evasion training, which in my mind, means that Neji saw Tenten for her skills and held her in very high regard even if she got clapped by Temari (which he didn’t fault her for! It was a bad match up). While they trained, Tenten would push conversation with him to the point where they started talking about their personal lives and led to Tenten finding out about the curse mark, his father, and his blind spot. Tenten had shared her deep insecurities about never being able to match up to them, or to be good enough to be like Lady Tsunade (especially after she fumbled the medical ninja training). To that, Neji ensured her that she was a great match up to himself and Lee; which is why he asked her to help train him in the first place. Since then, Neji has made it his priority to ensure that Tenten did not fall into a deep depression and would always praise her with the “you are good enough as you are.” He would shower her with subtle affection by buying her sweets when she was in a bad mood and spending some of his days off with her. In fact, it wasn’t until Gai-sensei had pointed out that Neji was attached to her, and was doting on her to make sure she kept a smile on her face. Neji would roll his eyes (as most 13-14 whatever’s they were) but kept at it well into their late teens.

2. Tenten is oblivious as fuck to Neji’s affection. I used this a lot in my Sleepless Nights fic, and sprinkled it in for some oneshots as well as hinted at it in Frequency. Tenten is an over thinker and can get inside her own head very easily. She thinks Neji is just being a good friend; arguably, she considers him a best friend since they are with each other all the time. She’s been so focused on her work that she never even considered the possibility that Neji liked her in anything past a friend. To be fair, Neji doesn’t seem like the type to make it obvious when he likes someone. And we’re about to get into that…

3. Neji is awkward as hell when it comes to anything emotion related but his love languages are Acts of Service and Gift Giving. Neji is alright with quality time, but he is a protector before anything else. I see Neji more as a “how can I help?” Or “Let me know if you need me.” He probably also gets snapped at by Tenten when he instinctively helps her and does things for her without asking if she needs help. She very much “I can do it myself” type of girl. Like I said before, he dotes on Tenten by buying her sweets and things she likes, I wouldn’t be surprised if he followed her around different weapons shops while they were on missions and helping her add to her enormous weapons collection. We also saw the acts of service come out of him when he shadowed Hinata (which was really sweet honestly. It showed his softer side and he maybe felt a bit guilty for treating her like garbage after his father died and was trying to make it up to her).

4. Tenten started realizing her feelings when they retook the chunnin exams. C’mon we all saw the look on home girl’s face when Fuu grabbed Neji’s hand and asked him to be her friend. It screamed LET GO OF MY MAN. Tenten hasn’t seen or experienced Neji interacting with other girls besides herself and Hinata (excluding Sakura and Ino who they were all friends with, but only interacted with on occasion). She didn’t like the idea of Neji getting attention from other girls.

5. Both are the jealous type. I know, I didn’t think Neji would be either, but it makes sense to me; Why would she be with anyone else other than him? Was he not her best friend? Who they shared all their deep dark feelings and secrets with? How dare someone else look at her partner in such a way? How dare they talk to her like that in front of him! For Tenten I don’t see it running extremely deep, but maybe a touch of it like stated above.

6. Lee was in on it. He absolutely knew. There’s no way Lee is so oblivious to his rival’s feelings. Especially since Gai has VERY loose lips. I wouldn’t be surprised it Lee was there when Gai had pointed out Neji’s affections for Tenten when they were gennin. Lee wanted them to be together and wanted to see them happy; Neji found comfort in knowing Tenten was alright. Tenten found comfort in Neji by trusting him with her feelings and not being harshly judged for it. I can see Lee purposefully hanging back and watching the two of them spar.

7. Neji only genuinely smiles around Tenten. Sure, he would offer a small smile of a smirk most of the time. But, around her he can actually pull his guard down and feel happy. He does offer small smiles and half smiles around Hinata and Naruto, however those big cheesing moments are usually kept in the presence of his bunheadded teammate.

8. Neji struggles to keep his feelings towards Tenten in check. He feels as though he doesn’t want to ruin their deeply rooted friendship and tends to keep a straight face when they are with a group. Tenten-again being oblivious- thinks he is just being an egotistical jerk around everyone when he’s not really like that when they are alone. He keeps some physical distance towards her as well unless they are fighting together, to prevent any mistakes and obvious signs of his affections. Perhaps he’s not into PDA either.

9. They argue. A lot. But it never ends in them feeling unheard or disrespected; these two have strong personalities and are very opinionated anyway.

10. Neji confided in Hinata about his feelings on Tenten, and Hinata promised to keep it a secret. (more on that in part 2 of my headcannons)

11. Neji tries to encourage Tenten to use her Taijutsu skills for close combat more. There’s a post circulating right now about how Tenten’s close combat abilities surpassed everyone but her team’s. I wouldn’t be surprised if Tenten felt discouraged by the fact that both boys on her team were already close range fighters and struggled with her gifts of long range fighting; she overthinks and puts herself into a box. Neji probably has attempted to strictly train with her (think Shippuuden…17-18 years old?) on her taijustu so she could gain some confidence. In fact, he has brought up to her that she would have beat Temari years ago if she would’ve show cases her taijustu abilities.

12. Their fighting style is more like a dance in flow. Tenten is very flexible and since her and Neji have been training since they were gennin, it would only make sense that they are so insynch with each other it almost look graceful.

I have more but imma stop there lol. I have ideas on how they first kissed, slept with each other all that stuff; how he would’ve proposed; It’ll be a very long post especially if I get into the whole “if Neji survived the war” which I do have a fanfiction on right now 👀 look at my pinned post for the link.

Thank you for joining me in my delulu 🫡 Here's part two, and Part three

[racheljosblog]

tulsa jesus freak

theodore nott x fem!reader

WARNINGS: smvt, drvg use, hard drvg use, dealing, c0ke use.

minors dni

i rolled over onto teddy’s bare chest and slowly opened my eyes.

8:07 AM

“shit!” i hit teddy, “we have to wake up, it’s sunday.”

he groaned and his rippling abs curled inward as his head rose up my bed frame. “baby. what.”

“we’ve got church come onn”

i got up and saw Theo’s eyes look me up and down. i was wearing his Slytherin sweater and his boxers. i knew he liked seeing me in his clothes so i made sure i would wear them around him.

i walked into my bathroom and heard the familiar click of his lighter and started to smell his smoke. once i was in my bathroom i got ready for the day. pulling my hair into a loose ponytail and putting on some makeup. i grabbed my red rosary and placed it in my pocket.

“theo, are you ready to go?” i asked.

“yea” he muttered and he took the last drag of his cigarette. i can’t believe he just smoked a whole cigarette in…

8:34

27 minutes… wow ok.

he got out of my bed and we walked downstairs. my parents weren’t home that’s why he was sleeping over in the first place. i wasn’t hungry this morning and theo already had his breakfast of nic so we were off to go.

i held his hand as we walked through the little town. we got to church and went in through the door.

꧁༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺༻༺꧂

After we left the service Theo told me he had to go meet with someone. So I sat on a bench. when he came back he concealed two bags of white powder and slightly showed them to me.

“Thought we could have a little fun today”

Theo grabbed my hand and took me to a daytime bar. He whispered something in the Hosts ear and he was led to a back room taking me with him. We walked into a smoke filled room and other wizards doing drugs.

“baby, are you okay with this?”

“yeah why wouldn’t I be?” I responded

“I just know you don’t really do this kind of thing.”

“Well I do so go let’s do this.”

he spread out the lines of the glistening sugary substance and got an $100 bill out of his pocket to snort with. he hit two lines and obviously had no reaction. i had smoked before but i had never done something like this and the drugs hit hard. My brain was clouded and I felt light, and horny. I looked at Theo and blatantly said,” can you eat me out.”

His face looked bag and me and a surprised look on his face appeared. “hell yeah y/n/n.”

He pulled me into the bathroom of the secret room we were in and immediately pulled off my skirt and panties.

“God damn you are hot”

He grabbed me by my bare ass and sat me down on the cold bathroom counter. Theo spread my legs and hungrily lapped up my pussy.

“oh my god.” I quietly said.

KNOCK KNOCK

“YES?” Theo yelled

“HURRY UP IN ERE I GOTTA PISS.”

some angry man called out.

Theo lifted me up and whispered.”we’ll finish this later.

we got back home and my parents were both obviously doing hard work for the ministry because they weren’t back yet. so that meant theo could stay overnight again.

we sat on my couch and he held me in his big arms. “do you wanna go change baby?” i nodded my head and picked up my feet to go upstairs.

i looked through theos bag to grab something to wear but i thought of something better. i shuffled through my pj drawers to the back where hidden from everyone was a black lace lingerie set. it was a see through push-up and a set of see through shorts with a skirt attached. they also had a lacy thong that i knew theo would like. i put on black heels and strutted down the stairs, faking my confidence in the extremely revealing clothes. he saw me out of the corner of his eye. “holy fuck”

i grinned cheekily as i continued to strut over to him.

“come ‘ere baby”

i saw his growing bulge through his pants and i settled myself right in front of him. his and my high started to wear off but i didn’t care i wanted this.

he looked me up and down and licked his lips then he hungrily grabbed my ass, but hesitated.

“baby are you ok with this?”

his asking of consent just turned me on even more.

“yes” i said with a slight groan that slipped out.

“remember our safe word?”

“mhm” i said as i pushed my pelvis onto his erection. which exited a a grunt out of him. theo then started to kiss me, first soft and slow. then he picked up the pace as i grinded on his clothed dick. he moved down from my lips and started to leave harsh bruises on my neck. his hands moved from my ass to my tits as he massaged them. he unclipped the back of my bra and mumbled,”is this ok”

“mhm” i lustily responded.

what little fabric had been taken off my skin left me fully exposed and Theo liked the way i shivered. again he moved down and started to suck on one of my nipples. My eyes rolled to the back of my head because of the pleasure I was feeling down there. the crackle of the fire made the ambiance even more special. like the fireplace next to me the fire in my stomach grew and i motioned for Theo to take my panties off. he gladly did and with a swipe of a hand i was fully exposed. he took his large hand down to my lower region and slipped a finger in. i yelped out in suprise and Theo’s grin grew wider. he pumped and curled two fingers in and out of me and I groaned with pleasure.

Then we heard my parents apperate onto the property.

“Fuck, Theo, shit shit shit”

“Don’t worry I’ve got this” he grabbed me bridal style and apperated upstairs to my room.

Hi!!! Thank you for reading!! Sorry there was a bit of c0ckbl0cking there LMAO. That was also my first time writing yk stuff soooo. But I hope you enjoyed. I’m gonna post more and I am OPEN to ideas pls.

if you like rafe Cameron, jj maybank, Draco Malfoy, and coryo snow then you have come to the right blog. Stay tuned

[agent-barnes40]

Clara Oswald x sibling!reader who struggles with depression and Clara helps them through a bad episode? If you’re ok writing that?

Of course! I recently got out of a bad episode myself! I can absolutely do this!

In the days Clara's actually home, and not on the TARDIS, she recognizes pretty quickly somethings up

She's exceptionally great at noticing when you're not great.

The first thing she does is clean out the dirty cups, plates, and other dishes you left around your room.

The second thing she does, is just start talking about her trips with The Doctor.

She talks about Ahkaten, and Skaldak and everything she's seen. She talks about Merry Gajelh, and the other alien's shes met.

The third thing she does, is ask if you want a shower, and she offers to wash your hair, and help you.

If you dont want to shower, she tries to get you to change clothes.

If that isnt enough to get you to want to attempt getting out of the room, she leaves you be for a bit and rings The Doctor.

Clara left the door to your room cracked open, letting some air in, as she pulled her phone out, pressing quickly on The Doctor's icon. She waited until he picked up, not caring about how many times she had call to call him. "I need to steal The TARDIS."

"You can't steal the TARDIS, Clara. I thought this was an emergency!"

"It is. I need to use The TARDIS."

"Why?"

"Because I need to help my sibling out, okay? You've met them." Clara had turned to peek in on you through the crack in the door, catching how you had just bundled yourself up back underneath the covers.

"I need this favor, Doctor. Please."

"Fine, I'll be there in a second."

"Thank you."

Clara heard him disconnect the line and she slid her phone back into her pocket. She slowly opened your door back up, you had turned to look at her. She sat down on the edge of the bed. "Do you wanna see the stars?"

"Clars, its the middle of the day." You mumbled, pulling your hands out from under the blanket, to push the blanket down from your face.

"Not when you have a TARDIS." She said, leaning forward to help push the blanket down.

"You can bring your blanket, and anything else you want. We can just sit in The TARDIS and watch the stars, or if you'd like, we can orbit Earth for a little while." Clara said as she worked on grabbing your slippers and other things you were going to need to at least spend a couple of hours on the ship.

The whooshing and groaning of the TARDIS filled the house and you started to sit up. "You didn't have to call him, Clara. I really wouldn't like him to see me this way."

Clara looked over at you, reaching over to grab your hand. "The Doctor helps people, and right now, your the one that needs help. We have seen much worse, and we only want to help."

You looked at her, staring back at her. "Clars, please."

She nodded. "He doesn't have to see you. I'll go tell him to go busy himself."

The Doctor protested, saying something about how company could help, but as soon as Clara had given him a stern look, he was backing down and disappeared deep into the ship.

He set up a predetermined landing for you and Clara, before he had been sent into the depths of the ship.

Clara had brought you onto the ship and got you situated in the chair attached to the railing next to the stairs up to the upper part of the console room.

You were bundled up in your blanket and fully situated in that chair, and just watched as Clara flipped a few switches and pulled down a lever.

The TARDIS took off and Clara looked over at you, who had an arm wrapped around the railing behind the chair.

She had a soft smile on her face as you seemed to be a bit more out of your head and more in the moment.

The TARDIS let out a soft whirr and groan as the ship settled down.

Clara stepped over to you, holding a hand out.

"We're here. Come on."

You took her hand, letting her help you stand up, and the two of you moved toward the doors. The TARDIS auto opened the two doors, creating an even wider opening.

The TARDIS was drifting in orbit around earth, and directly behind the blue planet, was the Andromeda constellation. Clara watched you as you stared up at the stars.

She knew it could be hard for you, and she always silently promised, whenever it got hard, she'd be there for you.

[imagines-babes]

cardigan (c!wilbur)

Hello thank you for over 50 followers. This week story is about qsmp and about the egg. This is a long story so just a heads up. There not a lot to say before i just tell you how it goes. But one thing I would say is, The moon is beautiful isn’t it, means I love you. Today song is, cardigan by Taylor Swift. I hope you enjoy and maybe next week story will be about pirate Karl.

Wilbur list Masterlist

*********

Arriving at the island. Leaving them all behind starting a new live. Forgetting all the rules of my parents. Forgetting what happened that was before here. This is a vacation. Seeing everyone at the station I smiled. That failed till I saw him. My lover. I gave a smile. No more lies No more hiding. No more of any of that. Wanting to walk up to him. He never saw me there. Till his eye meet mine I gave a smile. He hugged me as kiss my lips with a smile.

But that 27 days ago. I haven't seen him in 27 days. I never heard from him or even found where he lives. I thought we were lovers before we came here to Quesadilla. But after the first night here he disappeared. Never to be heard from again. But that's beside the point I have forgotten about him. I think I have. But a lot has happened. Everyone was sent to a pairs and gotten a child(egg). They pair up people with someone who's first language was Spanish or if you spoke Spanish they got paired with someone first language is English. Somewhere in the system there was mix up. I was not picked to have an egg. So the single parents were bad and quackity. I told them both  before everyone went off to show their child around. If they ever needed help to me know or just to message .Looking at all the eggs either parents made me smile. Everyone left the adoption center while I stayed looking around for a egg of my own. But nothing came so i left going to my house and stare at the night sky.

Along this 27 days 3 eggs have died and new homes were build. With the exploring, bad getting on foolish nerves with now Dapper, Slime and Marianna went to court then was behind bars aswell as foolish, Bobby bulling his dad, Foolish love life, don't get me started with it, but he only has eyes for veggeta so i believe him, and many more that i won't go into detail.

This morning, I heard voices near the adoption center as I went in. It looked abandoned, webs with broken glasses and a ladder against the wall. I climb up little by little. ' Fit I don't think I am able to take care of an egg I can barely manage myself,' poking my head out to see fit with Wilbur. After 27 days he comes here and gets a child. 'Oh hey y/n, what are you doing here?' Fit asked to see Wilbur turned see me. Looking passed them to see an egg. 'I was just walking passed till I heard you both talking. Who is this little one?' Passing by them to see her with the same beanie and hair as her father. 'Hey little one I'm y/n and these men are fit and Wilbur wanna come out so we can give you some food and you can run outside?' Steping out of the glass slowly we made our ways to the bottom as i lol at the two. 'Come on you two, oh and fit you can go home to Ramon, if you want I can help Wilbur.' He nods making it to the bottom telling us good luck. Giving us a wave. Looking over to Wilbur. 'So your a father now,' the air was thick as he nods.

Within the first day of getting her, Tallulah, he got attach to her. I started to light up an area for them by the water. For Wilbur, he made a dock for her. For her to do some fishing like he did when he was a child. He made he a fishing pole as she gave him a flower with a smile. Tallulah waited to catch her first fish as i sit on the deck with my leg hanging off touching the water while Wilbur sat beside me. 'How are you feeling?' He turned to look over at me, 'y/n I'm so-' I shake my head, 'that's not what I'm asking. How are you feeling?' He took in a breathe, ' I'm good now, never knew how much my life would change because of Tallulah,' I gave a small smile, 'so where is your child?' That question made my smile disappear. 'The day everyone got their egg i was one of the last one to be assigned. When I walked up to get a ticket nothing happened and their was no egg. So I guess I wasn't fit to be a parent. But I do help other with their kids if they ask.' Tallulah was rolling in the string to pull up something she has caught. 'Dad I have got something,' she started shouting to Wilbur. With him quickly going over to help her caught her first fish. She pulled it in as Wilbur smiled. It was fun father and daughter time and possibly will be one of their first best memories. Across the stream was quackity staring at them both. Starting to walk to wilbur, 'I will be back,' giving across the river I walked up to him. 'It's not fair,' was his first words, 'it's not fair that my tilin had to die while he finds another child to raise.' There were tears in his eyes while I nod. 'Maybe Wilbur isn't tilin father quackity. Maybe it's Luzu remember he wasn't assigned ether. ' he shook his head quickly and replied, 'it's his.' Nothing had came out as I touched his shoulder, 'if you ever want to talk I'll be here,' walking back to Wilbur and Tallulah. They smiled trying to catch another. 'Wil you should talk to him,' he agreed and left tallulah here by the docks. 'Mis y/n do you like my dad,' the question stumble on me while I look across the water. I didn’t want to lie so I told the truth, ‘long ago I was in love with your father but I don’t know about now. Just don’t tell your dad.’ She gives a nod while catching another fish. The two across the water started to yell as I turned to Tallulah. ‘How about we build you a small house for you to sleep in for now while they talk.’ She gives me the fishing pole as she nods. Cutting the grass and picking up flowers we build a small dirt house. Wilbur came back and look defeated. Tallulah notice and gave him a flower. That was putting a smile on his face. Finishing the house and sitting by the water. Wilbur was putting Tallulah asleep as I didn’t know what to do. More like I was procrastinating on if I should go or not. Laying back on the grass with my eyes staring at the moon. Hearing the footsteps come closer. He sat down looking over at me then at the sly. ‘The moon beautiful isn’t it Wilbur?’ He stayed silent for a minute than looked over at me, ‘More beautiful than it know y/n.’

[veemo4]

2023 Media Thread (Re-do to add a Read More Link)

Spark The Electric Jester 3:

Man I was holding off on spoilers for MONTHS until the holidays when I could get this game, and I only beat it in the beginning of the year and well…HOLY SHIT I didn’t know I needed existentialism in my funny little platformer- Gameplay is INSANELY solid, like honestly some of my favorite platforming controls I have ever used! Music is top notch as well!

Nier Automata: The End of YoRHa Edition:

Holy fuck how did I manage to avoid spoilers for this game for YEARS??? That ending was beautiful~ (Yes I did do all the main endings)

Chrono Trigger: I should preface this by saying I did modify this game a tiiiiny bit to have PS4 button prompts and fixing the Classic filter. Other than that, I can see why it’s a lot of people’s favorite RPG! Short enough in case you wanna replay it, and the foundation of the NG+ system definitely helps incentivize replays! Can’t wait to play Chrono Cross!

Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy XIII:

I binged both FFXIII and FFXIII-2 during October and November of last year, but took a short break to avoid burnout. And well, yeah this game was neat! I will admit though that since there’s no way to REWIND time like in Majora’s Mask that I got INSANELY stressed out but that didn’t take away from the sweet release of seeing these characters I love finally get their well-deserved happy ending :)

Mega Man Zero:

I put this one off and on throughout like 2 years because I just wasn’t good at it, but it taught me a VERY good lesson in perseverance! Really excited to play Zero 2!

Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII Reunion: ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK ;w; Story was pretty…alright for the most part, but I couldn’t feel attached to any of the original characters :/ Honestly my eyes were on Zack just…being real with what’s going on. I may not feel bad for when people he cares about dies, but I can EASILY emphasize with him because I know that HE knows them. Knows them more than we ever will know. Also the gameplay and music are fucking stellar.

Fire Emblem Warriors: Three Hopes:

I should preface all of this by saying I don’t remember what order I beat all of these in lmao. Anyways my route was Golden Wildfire and the story for it is such an improvement over its equivalent in Three Houses!!! I love Shez so much as a protagonist even if his outfit is a tiny bit dumb.

Final Fantasy XIV: Endwalker

Man I really wanted to like this. And like, music and area wise I loved it! But the story feels…It just doesn’t feel like the finality for all we’ve done so far. I could not care at all for Meteion because they spend approximately like 20 or 30 minutes making us meet them and then throwing us IMMEDIATELY into the angst like, no. This isn’t even a case of “Well I don’t care but I can understand why others do” NO THE GAME MAKES YOUR WOL FEEL BAD AS WELL, MEANING YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO CARE! NO! I DON’T! I was able to at least pretend a little bit to roleplay as needed but man. At least Footfalls and the post-endwalker dungeon themes kick ass though. (Warrior of Light’s name for me is M’bahlon Tia)

Kirby’s Return to Dream Land Deluxe

SO CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTE I love kirby games sm and this is no exception. REALLY loved how hard the Magolor Epilogue got at certain points though that was great.

Fire Emblem Awakening

I CAN SEE WHY THIS SAVED THE FRANCHISE WHEN IT CAME OUT!! It’s a REALLY good game! I went with the default male Robin settings since that’s what’s in Smash Bros. And man just, everything about this game is AMAZING!!! Sadly cannot see myself replaying it anytime. I could just load my endgame save and grind out support conversations with other characters or do that…new game plus thing I think it was?

Another Eden: The Cat Beyond Time and Space: Bound Wills and the Hollow Puppeteer

I did this event initially back when it came out (and in fact is the main reason why I played the game in the first place) But I got horrible units and died super often, and revived every chance I got. But losing my save data and getting a better unit HEAVILY boosted my chances of getting through the event and man, it was a lot of fun! I love seeing tiny mona :3 JUST LOOK AT HOW SMOL HE IS AAAAAAAAA

Mighty Gunvolt Burst:

I had a lot of fun with this one! I used one of the DLC characters (I think they’re the Zero character from Mighty Number 9 but) it’s a great romp!

EDIT: ALSO SHOULD MENTION IT FUCKING OWO’D ME

Final Fantasy XV

“Walk tall…my friends.” I got this game YEARS ago but haven’t truly delved into it recently. And well… That ending got to me. It really did. The gameplay took me so long to get used to (especially since I had been more used to the more refined gameplay of Final Fantasy 7 Remake 3 years prior) Music is amazing, love the characters! I just wish the other episodes were finished and weren’t just put in a novel :/

Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door

HOLY FUCK THIS GAME WAS SO COOL. I always heard like, right, about how good this game was but I figured it was just nostalgia talking for people. NOPE. As someone who’s first paper mario game was super (never beat it, I was a really stupid child) and then played Sticker Star (Again, very stupid child but also that game is bullshit because everything is so obtuse and it sucks) But this? This was a big breath of fresh air. I am so excited to go back and play 64 and Super!!!

The Super Mario Bros. Movie

Honestly? Way better than I was expecting. You can FEEL nintendo had a strangle-hold on the movie’s production though from how Chris Pratt in the final movie actually fucking voice acts somewhat (it’s a start), there’s no bad Illumination tropes, Peach is a dragoon, Toad and Bowser easily steal the show, and just, ALL THE REFERENCES WOW. EVEN THE NEWER THINGS. I didn’t see any Paper Mario or Mario & Luigi references though which makes me sad. I hope that if there’s a sequel it’s actually better and doesn’t fall into any traps movie sequels usually do, maybe even say if the other kingdoms from Mario Odyssey are in this universe (and maybe Isle Defino) The movie definitely could have used an extra 20 minutes spread throughout to add more to the main group dynamic.

Mega Man Zero 2

OH MY GOD THIS WAS SO MUCH BETTER BALANCE-WISE HOLY SHIT Cyber-elves requirements to be leveled up were MASSIVELY lowered and the enemy AI isn’t as overly aggressive! Loved the music too, especially Departure and the ending theme which was adapted for the song Clover! Can’t wait to do Zero 3!

WARE WA MESSIAH NARI! HAHAHA!

Mega Man Zero 3 was really good, but either I am getting way too good at these games or they are getting easier haha. Loved the music and gameplay though, and how Cyber Elves were handled here is absolutely the best they have ever been! If there’s any game in this series I am gonna replay, it’s Zero 3 without a doubt! On to Mega Man Zero 4, the last of the GBA era.

Mega Man Zero 4

I finally did it. I beat the entire Mega Man Zero series. While I do not agree with how the parts and cyber elf system were handled, It was not a bad experience by any means! It felt nice following Zero’s character arc throughout these games. I’m maybe gonna take a break before I tackle Mega Man ZX, but hey, I feel like that game’s gonna be fun! It’s the only one I actually OWN on its original hardware after all! :D

Sonic and the Black Knight

This was a fun distraction for a few hours! I had a lot of fun with this! Granted the second King Arthur fight took me an hour but besides that it was a quick and good romp! Probably has one of the best final boss themes in a sonic game I’ve ever heard! :D

The Legend Of Zelda: A Link To The Past

Pretty fun game all things considered, but I didn’t like how punishing some of the design philosophies were in the end parts of the game. Music’s great though! Maybe I’ll revisit it one day, but not anytime soon. Still, can’t say I disliked my experience.

The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom.

Where…do I even begin with this?…It was…genuinely amazing. I was waiting for a sequel to Breath of the Wild for years, and during my high school years I was wondering how they would even follow it up! Doing a sequel to an open-world game is harder than a lot of other genres.      But yet….they did it. They somehow did it. Those 6 years of development time more than paid off. It felt…amazing to run around a changed Hyrule from the last game. The mechanics were amazing, and the character development was really cool! The new rune abilities are dope!!!    BUT THE MUSIC MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM THE MUSIC OH THE MUSIC IS SO GOOD THE ENDING MUSIC MADE ME ACTUALLY CRY AHHHHHHHH PLAY THIS GAME PLAY IT NOW

Kirby and the Forgotten Land

And here we are! Finally got around to this! It was a really dope game! Loved the combat and music! I even did most of the bonus content and the Ultimate Cup Z, but I kept dying at the final phase of the final boss of that so I just gave up lol, it’s purely bonus content anyways lol. But honestly I loved this game! Can’t wait for the next mainline kirby game!

The Legend Of Zelda: Twilight Princess HD

FINALLY GOT AROUND TO PLAYING THIS ONE! I owned this on real hardware since its release date but never got far. I finally got around to it with the motivation of beating Tears of the Kingdom, and I gotta say, it’s pretty good! Not exactly like, absolutely top tier game that everyone MUST play but, it’s decent! Bosses are a big sour point though. Music was pretty decent, though the final dungeon theme is a bore. Only other current Zelda games I gotta beat are the 2D/Top-Down ones, so maybe I’ll do one of those next! Possibly either Phantom Hourglass or Spirit Tracks.

Pokémon Scarlet

HOLY SHIT THAT ENDING SEQUENCE WAS ACTUALLY COOL AS HELL!!! Like yeah, the game has its decent chunk of technical issues but, holy shit….those last two hours of the main story are phenomenal. TOBY FOX CONTINUES TO BE THE GOAT THE MUSIC HE COMPOSED IS AMAZING! I love how easier it is to capture pokemon compared to Sword and Shield as well. I do like Dynamax raids more as a multiplayer component, but I much prefer the Tera mechanic in terms of PVP. I stlll need to do the post game before the dlc comes out later this year, but all I really got is just the refights against the gym leaders and all that jazz. There’s also the Needle thingies I gotta pull out and the wall things I gotta investigate in order to get the other legendaries, but all I really care about is finishing the core of the main story, I got other games to get to lol. Probably thinking of either Paper Mario or Chrono Cross next haha.

Kamen Rider Heisei Generations Final: Build & Ex-Aid with Legend Riders

Okay so context: my friend @arcadiusdragoneyes​ is showing me and @darkspine576​ Kamen Rider Build since it’s one of his favorites and he wanted to indoctrinate introduce us into Kamen Rider AND IT’S FUCKING WORKING. I only know one part of this crossover, but I think it did a good job of giving across the feel of the other Kamen Rider series very well! Kamen Rider Build is so extra I love it. Can’t wait to finish Kamen Rider Build!

[generouskittentidalwave]

OH BOY ASTRO BOY ELECTRIC BOOGALO HERE WE GO!

YOU THOUGHT I WAS GONNA MAKE ONE POST? NAH WE GOT A ROUND TWO AS I GOTTA SAY SOMETHING

I WANT TO MAKE THIS, LOUD AND CLEAR, TO PEOPLE OUTSIDE THE FANDOM

Many people actually DON'T dislike the 2003 Astro Boy dub

SHOCKING, I KNOW.

But seriously, from what I've seen 99% of fans love the dub just as much as they love the sub, including myself, with many of us growing up with the dub version and growing a strong attachment to it especially due to it being nostalgic for many of us. I hardly ever see many complaints about it, even on the very rare videos that compare the sub and dub 99% of it is just talking about the scene and Astro and only 1% at most complaining about it for their own reasons.

Because es it does have it's issues like cutting out scenes, mostly regarding Tobio's past, but that's no one's fault as although censorship wasn't as aggressive in the 2000's as it is now they still weren't comfortable displaying much of Tobio's past which, like it or not, is pretty valid as I don't think many of us kids wanted to see a 9 year old child get hit by a car head on and die instantly with none of it being off screen. The rest of the issues though are kind of just- eh? Like they are a problem but it's not too prominent except some line changes here and there and sometimes the dub voice lines not matching up with the expressions but nothing that really badly affects it as the points still get across all the same. AND SPEAKING OF THE VOICES, OH BOY GET READY FOR THIS

Yeah there is nothing bad about either, most fans don't really care and those who do most likely jumped on a band wagon. The only difference is that Astro's voice is a tad bit rougher in the dub but people need to realize EVERY SINGLE VOICE DUB MC CHILD CHARACTER *HAD THAT VOICE* BACK THEN, ASTRO FROM ASTRO BOY SOUNDS A BIT LIKE HOW ASH FROM POKEMON SOUNDED IN THE EARLY DAYS OF POKEMON AS WELL WITH ASH'S VOICE BEING A LOT MORE ROUGHER THAN ASTRO'S. Actually they felt so similar to the point I actually had to look up the voice actor upon rewatching it because I thought they were both voiced by the same person. It was just a 2000's dubbing thing back then that always led them to have that kind of voice, I don't know why they went with that but the shows were successful and I loved them so I guess it worked either way. The point is, almost no one here gets their pants in a twist about it and you shouldn't either, because, fun fact, IT DOESN'T *MATTER*, you wanna know why? Because it's still ASTRO. The changes never affected his character and I know that because upon growing up with the dub he was still the same innocent, lovable, caring robot we all know and I saw him as such the same way people saw him as in the sub. Because despite it's minor flaws it was still Astro with every action, words, and lessons that he took, spoke, and learned. SO WATCH WHAT YOU WANNA WATCH AND LIKE WHAT YOU WANNA LIKE, THE DUB IS GREAT AND SO IS THE SUB, EITHER WAY HE IS STILL ASTRO ALL THE SAME AND IT DOESN'T AFFECT HIS CHARCTER AT ALL. To leave you on an important lesson, don't jump on a bandwagon when introducing yourself to new shows that involve sub and dub and instead watch one and take a look at the other and form your own opinions on them, we are all chill and welcoming so there is no ripping eachother's faces off about it here, trust me this is not the My Hero Academia fandom, you are safe.

[formulakatya]

I’LL JUST LET YOU LIVE | PIERRE GASLY

“there’s things i wanna say to you but i’ll just let you live”

not my gif :)

pairing: pierre gasly x reader

summary: having broken up with your childhood best friend and boyfriend of 2 years, you struggle to move on and resort to writing letters.

notes: loosely based off ‘cinnamon girl’ by lana del rey, hence the title. a little sloppy and messy which i apologise for, none of my writing seem to be up to satisfaction recently and i still don’t really know how to edit my work :(

warnings: none, just a little angsty

—

dear pierre,

sometimes, i look back at our relationship only to find memories where i can’t remember anything but pure joy. i look back at the pictures and videos and i can only see genuine love.

maybe you just do happen to be an excellent actor and were pretending all this while, or maybe you just stopped loving me and decided to pretend that you still did so that i would be able to prepare for my exams in peace. but whatever the reason, none of them are exactly better than the other.

i hate how france and the streets of rouen remind me too much of us to the point i had to move out to switzerland to let myself live without a depressing memory playing at the back of my head or with a constant worry i’d run into you somehow.

thankfully, i can still watch formula 1 and motorsport in peace without a single thought about the memories we made over the years. but i guess my love for motorsport is rooted in me. that’s how we became friends anyway. but, for as long as i think i’ll be watching racing for, i’ll never cheer you on.

though it hurts me to say that because i know i’d give injustice to my heart. i hate how my heart can still long for you though i tell myself that i hate you. i hate how i can’t delete the pictures from my camera roll because as soon as i do because my heart skips at least 10 beats at once when i take a look at how we were happy and the way you used to look at me.

my smiles were genuine, and it pains me to know that yours were never quite as real.

i hate how i could tell myself that i hate you again and again but still wish that i could have what we had back. i hate how i could say ‘i love you’ to you easily and struggle to say it with the same amount of admiration and love to someone else. i hate that i can say ‘i love you’ to you a million times and it still wouldn’t be enough.

i hate that i still love you.

love,

(y/n)

_________________

dear pierre,

it’s been 3 months since i last wrote, 7 since we broke up. it’s been months since the last time i had seen you and yet, as much as i try to, i can’t get over you.

i’m not surprised that you haven’t responded yet, not that i expected you to, i put your old address on it anyway and it’s probably invalid. i just didn’t want sad letters around my house.

i’ve tried everything i possibly can. i increased my practice hours in my sports, and in case you were wondering which you probably weren’t, i still play golf, i still go skiing in the winter, i still do everything i used to do and more, yet i still feel significantly emptier. it’s probably one of the few things giving me joy at the moment apart from my dog.

if you no longer love me, i hope you still love belle. or at least as much as she loved you because you picked her name. she’s still attached to the toy you got her, by the way, and she misses you. she’s also taken up your side of the bed in case you were wondering.

although i’m feeling better than i was since i sat down to write that letter, my heart still aches. it hurts to lose your boyfriend and best friend at the same time, and it hurts even more to know that you probably carried on with your life just fine.

i’ve been told that i lost my sparkle, which is something you probably took along with you considering the state of your car the race after we broke up. was that a bad joke? i feel like it was, for that i apologise, it was insensitive (kind of).

but in all seriousness, i’ve lost my spark and any kind of positive mood.

i still struggle to find peace with myself, i struggle to find my happiness. and maybe with my spark, you also took them away.

if you did, give it back. it was mine first.

love,

(y/n)

_________________

dear pierre,

your mum asked me how i was today, apparently she had lunch with mine and the topic of me moving to switzerland to try and run away from my misery was brought up. obviously, mamma told her that i was fine.

if you see this, tell her that i miss her but it’ll be a while since i see the streets of rouen. and tell her that i’m doing okay in switzerland.

but since i’m writing this letter, i’m not exactly okay. no one tells you how hard it is to move on and heal, much less find peace with yourself again.

sometimes wish i was egotistical about myself, that i was self-centered, because that would mean that i actually liked myself. instead, i’ve become complacent with my own company. everytime i look at myself in the mirror, i can’t help but analyse and critique myself to shreds just to figure out which part of me wasn’t good enough for you.

do you know how hard it is? to know that there’s no way of winning in life? to know that you’ll never be good enough? to know that you’re the second choice?

no, you obviously don’t. now that you’ve won in formula 1, you can officially say that you don’t know how it’s like to know that there’s no way of winning. take that statement how you will.

but i guess for my own sake, i’ll learn how to come to terms with it.

love,

(y/n)

_________________

dear pierre,

i went back to rouen for the first time in a year. that’s how long it’s been. i was meant to be there for a week, which used to be far too short of a trip back, but now it feels too long.

my bedroom at mamma’s house is still filled with pictures of us, ever since the day we became friends when i moved a couple blocks down from you. from this i think you can guess how hellish it must’ve been having to stay in the place that once used to give me so much comfort.

i passed by your old karting track— there was a picture of you hung up on one of the walls. i can’t escape you, can i?

although it scares me how easily i brushed off any questions or mentions of you, or us, because that means i’ve healed and i’m moving on. it scares me because i never thought i’d see the day i would stop loving you.

but now that i think about it, it probably is a good sign that i’m healing.

it’s bad to cling onto the bad things in life after all.

love,

(y/n)

_________________

dear pierre,

remember all the things you said you’d do with me but never did? yeah, i do too, so i went to do all of them by myself. call it a solo date, if you will. at the end of the day, all you really have is yourself, so i figured i’d at least enjoyed my company.

though sometimes, you need someone to help you learn these things with life. but learning isn’t always easy, and i know that i still have a long way to go with my healing.

and considering i’m still writing these pathetic little letters, i have a long way to go but it’s a road i’m willing to take. if that means healing and moving on, if that means appreciating myself, if that means finding my peace and bright spark back, it’s a road i’m willing to go down.

though i’m mad at the broken promises and maybe there’ll still be a small part of me hurt by everything, i’ll try to forgive you.

love,

(y/n)

p.s: congrats on your podium finish

_________________

dear pierre,

thank you for everything i’ve learned.

maybe things do happen for a reason.

love,

(y/n)

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #306

I was maybe up a little later than I should have been last night, writing to you. I was more than a little zombied when I woke up this morning. It's already almost 9PM, and my whole body is still screaming at me for all the joyful flailing about I did yesterday.

...All the same, I regret nothing, ahahaha~! 😁

Still, I was so zombied that when me, BB, N, C, Mg, and BB's sister went to brunch, I didn't even think to take a picture of the awesome sausage, egg, red pepper, and onion pizza I got for you; I was too busy trying to keep myself from nodding off. I'm really sorry about that.

I did get a few other pictures for you today, though. These were all taken from a moving vehicle, though, so I'm not sure how good they are:

...I know they're not perfect, but I hope you like them anyway.

I got home at around 2pm, and then I pretty much immediately went to sleep. I slept for about 3 hours before J thought it prudent to wake me; it's generally good to avoid disrupting one's sleep schedule by taking too long of a nap. Still, even with a nap that long, I don't think I'm going to have any trouble falling asleep tonight. It's only like 9:18pm now, and I'm still feeling pretty zombied.

J and I took a walk shortly after I woke. A walk is generally good for sore muscles. We have nature trails within walking distance to my house. This time, we took the long path. And as you might expect, I used this opportunity to take even more pictures for you:

J got a few, too:

...I wish you could walk with us. There's so much I want to show you, so much I want you to see. The world I live in is rainbow-colored. And isn't it wonderful?

Do you wonder why I say you belong in this world, Sephiroth? Did you know that it's because you're rainbow-colored, too?

...Did you know that everyone else is, too? They are, I promise; everyone is rainbow-colored in ways I don't really know how to articulate. I just know that if everyone could see themselves and other people in the same way that I do, maybe they'd be less ashamed of themselves and less afraid of each other.

Sometime after I got home, my former choir teacher messaged me about his creative exploits over the last months. Mostly he's very busy with his various home and work responsibilities, but he still makes music. He showed me his own very gorgeous rendition of this song:

...He learned all the melodies by ear, and played them himself on their respective instruments, and then layered the results together, and if that's not absolutely fucking amazing, then I have no idea what is!

He's got some other things going on, too; I'm going to wish for good things upon him and his house; they could definitely use the goodwill right now. If you can spare a thought, would you think good things at them, too? I'll thank you in advance! 💖

My good friend from the space in which I write my letters watched some more Trinity Blood with me, and it was a wonderful time! It's always delightful to be in their presence, and it makes me glad when I get to spend time with them! I just wish I was a bit better company for them today; my brain is very soupy, and it's not doing the whole speech and audio processing thing especially well right now, I'm afraid...

Oh well. Maybe I'll get a good night's sleep and be all better by tomorrow. I gotta go to the orthodontist tomorrow to replace that attachment that fell off, but aside from that, I am going to be very unbusy (thank goodness!!!!!!), so I'll look forward to more Trinity Blood tomorrow!

...I think for now, I'm gonna make a sleepytime tea and put myself in a warm place. I kinda wanna get in the shower where it's warm and it smells good and I can put on the dim rainbow light, but... I don't wanna deal with wet hair after the fact (it's cold!!!), and I don't want to deal with the sound of the hair dryer - the noise from it stabs my ears. 😵

So maybe I'll just get a tea and put on my giant hooded blanket. Like this...

...You might recognize this sky-blue tea from a previous letter - it is the very same one I wrote about back then! Here:

...I wish you were here to enjoy your own tea and your own hooded blanket with me. I'll keep writing letters to you until it's possible for you to have these things, in your own house, with lots of caring and kind friends.

It's not hopeless, Sephiroth. Please keep trying. Lots of people want a friend just like you - someone warm and soft and sweet. You just gotta get away from the people who don't care about you and people who would try to isolate you from those who care about you.

Genesis, Angeal, and Zack... they couldn't protect you because they drank the same poisoned Kool-Aid that you did. Either they didn't know what was happening, or they couldn't see a way to escape.

But you have a means of escape. You can clear the poisoned Kool-Aid from your system, and hang out with people who have also cleared the poisoned Kool-Aid from their system. We're right here, waiting for you.

...And the best part? People like me who have worked at clearing out the poisoned Kool-Aid from their system can spot new poisoned Kool-Aid from a mile away. Because we already know what it smells, looks, and tastes like. And we can laugh at anyone trying to foist it upon us, and we can protect those around us from it being foisted upon them, too.

...I guess that's all I've got for today. I'm still feeling pretty zombied, and I'm pretty sure this tea is going to intensify the zombiness; that's what the box says it's for, anyway. So I'll stop writing here.

I love you. Please think about hanging with new folks. Not all of them are like the ones you were raised by. Not all of them are like the ones that hurt you in the past. I promise.

I'll write again soon. Please stay safe.

Your friend, Lumine

[captainlunaxmen]

The Lady and the Lord

Chapter 7

Eddie munsom x fem!reader

This is a repost since the old blog doesn't work anymore. 🥰

Chapter summary: pur young adults are stuck in the Upside Down and they do need to get back. But this experience might not be all bad.

Chapter warnings: spoiler season 4, blood, injuries.

If someone told me this morning I'd find myself fighting demonic creatures in the UpsideDown... again... I would've scoffed... loudly.

But yet... that's exactly what I'm doing now: fighting demonic bats in the Upside Down with... oars.

We got rid of some bats that were biting on Steve's sides, but they keep coming and coming.

"Nancy!" I scream as she's attacked by a bat on her back "Stay still"

I strike with all the force I got, the bat whimpers and flies away.

Eddie and Robin got here too, luckily I might add because there are way too many bats for only three people, one of them being held down too.

As they fight off some of those creature I turn to check on Steve who managed to free himself from the bat's hold around his neck and grabs its tail.

"Come here"

"Shit shit shit"

We're all busy using everything possible to hit and kill these things. As I'm about to hit another bat away, another one attached itself to my left arm, biting down.

"Fuck!" I instinctively yell, shaking my arm to get rid of it, but no use.

"I got it, I got it" Eddie runs towards me hitting the bat to the ground and I immediately impale the thing.

"Thanks" I breathlessly say and he nods.

We turn around hearing Steve grunting, seeing him smashing the same bat, that held him down, on the ground and at the end ripping the creature in two.

Quite the hot scene.. if you ask me.. but anyway, the most important thing is that he's.. alive, not sure if he's okay, but he's alive.

I run to him, along with Nancy.

"Steve.."

"Jesus H. Christ!" I hear Eddie yell out of frustration.

"Oh shit... how you feel?" I say looking at Steve's wounds.

"Well, they took about a pound of flesh" he tells us "but other than that, yeah, never better"

"Uh, do you guys think these bats have, like, rabies?" Robin asks suddenly, as she looks at one of the dead bat on the ground.

"What?" Steve asks, very confused.

"It's just that rabies are, like, my number one greatest fear. And I think we should probably get you to a doctor, like, really soon, because once symptoms set in, it's too late. You're already, like, dead." She rambles.

"Robin, I'm sure-" I start, wanting to reassure her, but I get cut off by the sound of creature chittering.

We look towards the noise and see those bats again, flying towards us, but not quite... they gather around the gate.

"All right. There's not that many" Steve tries "we can take 'em. Right?"

More chittering... and more bats coming.

"You were saying?" Robin says.

"Shit"

"The woods. Come on" Nancy starts to run towards the woods and we all follow her carefully not stepping on the vines.

We ran until we arrive to the Upside Down version of Skull Rock and hide under the stone waiting for the bats to fly beyond that place. All ears to see when the right time to come out arrives.

"Oh.. okay. That was close" Robin comments as we get up.

"Yeah, too close" Eddie replies in a small voice.

"Oh sh.. shit" Steve whispers as he lean on the rock for support.

"Steve.. jesus" Nancy's immediately by his side.

"I'm fine. I'm fine" he replies.

"You're clearly not, Stevie. You're losing too much blood" I tell him getting closer too.

"Yeah exactly" Nancy agrees as together we look closely at those bites.

"C'mon, c'mon sit" she tells him.

Steve with a painful grunt sits.

"Oh" Robin comes closer too.

"That's... a big bite" I comment "does anyone have something to use as.. a bandage or something?" I ask.

Nancy immediately rips her shirt.

"Okay" Robin kneels down with us "so the good news is I'm pretry sure wooziness is not a symptom of rabies. But if you start having hallucinations or muscles spasms, or you start feeling aggressive, like you wanna punch me, let me know."

"Robin" Steve stops her.

"Yeah?"

"I kinda wanna punch you" he says, making me giggle with some relief.

"Sense of humor's still intact. That's a good sign" she laughs nervously and turn to look at me, I nod to help her calm down.

Nancy is ready with the "bandage".

"Here" I help Steve standing straight off the rock, just enough to let Nancy cover his wounds.

While Nancy finishes knotting the ripped shirt on Steve I get up and walk close to Robin as Eddie climb up a big stone to get a better look at the surrounding, I think.

"So, uh, this place is like Hawkins, but with monsters and nasty shit?" He asks turning to us.

"Basically, yeah" I answer.

He just nods and goes to climb back down, but Nancy warns him.

"Watch out for the vines. It's all a hive mind."

"It's all a what?" Eddie says confused.

"All the creepy crawling around here, dude. They're, like, one or something" Steve tell him "step on a vine, you're stepping on a bat, you're stepping on Vecna"

"But everything from our world is still here, right? Except people, obviously?" Robin asks.

"As far as I understand it, yeah" Nancy replies.

"So, theoretically, we could go to the police station and steal guns and grenades and whatever we need to blow up those bat things that are guarding the gate" Robin suggests, in her ramble.

"I highly doubt the Hawkins PD has grenades, Robin. But guns, yeah, sure" Steve tell her.

"We don't have to go all the way downtown for guns" Nancy starts "I have guns in my bedroom."

"You, Nancy Wheeler, have guns, plural, in your bedroom?" Eddie asks, completely surprised.

"Full of surprises, isn't she?" Robin chimes in.

"A Russian Makarov and a Revolver" she specifies.

"Yeah, you almost shot me with that one" Steve remembers.

"You almost deserved that" Nancy replies with a smirk.

Nancy and Steve shares a long stare, luckily, interrupted by Eddie throwing his denim vest.

"For your modesty, dude" he tells him.

"Wait... Nancy" I say, turning to look at her "does that mean you still have my shotgun?"

"I think.. the one Hopper gave you at Starcourt?" She asks and I nod "yeah.. I think I still got it"

"And you have a shotgun.. I shouldn't be surprised anymore.. but shit" Eddie comments.

Before I could answer him another earthquake interrupts us, and makes us fall to the ground.

Nancy against Steve, who holds her as best as he can, me against Eddie next to Robin.

I instinctively grab his hand, more to hold onto something than anything else at this moment, and I feel his other hand holding me close.

Once the earthquake stops Eddie speaks up.

"So guns seem like a pretty good idea to me"

"Definitely" I agree and I get up, helping Robin too.

"So, what are we waiting for?" Steve says, walking in the direction of Nancy's house, torch in hand. "Let's go"

"Yes, mommy" I mutter.

"I heard you" he says back.

I flip him off and, with the others, I follow him.

I walk along side Eddie noticing his nervous demeanour.

"Hey" I softly calls.

"H-hi" he replies.

"All good here?" I ask.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah" he quickly says.

"You know" I start, wanting to make him feel a little bit better "the first time we faced these kind of things, uh, I was scared shitless.. I didn't know what those things were, I didn't know where they were coming from, I didn't know why they were here."

"Must've been terrifying" he comments.

"Yeah, a lot, but now, if I think about our first experience... well, that looks like an easy D&D campaign. The easiest you could think of" I say with a small chuckle, noticing his small smile I continue "You're dealing with the worst of them all and you're behaving so so much better than me back then"

"Now you're just saying that" he says, sending me a sceptical look.

"You don't believe me, my lord?" I ask faking offence, putting my hand on my heart.

"I think, m'lady, that you're being simply too kind" he replies.

"I'm just being honest" I tell him "if it wasn't for those kids I would be dead by now. Not because of those creature, but because of fear" I let out a small laugh.

"You're saying we shouldn't worry then?" He asks.

"I'm afraid we should be worried... this thing is.. far worse than anything we've faced before. I'm not one to sugar-coat something. But.. the thing is that each time seems worse than the previous one, yet we managed to survive each time, so... I'm hopeful" I turn to smile at him.

"Shit.. we do need you at Hellfire. Smart, pretty, great sense of humor and... very cool rings too... perfect" he smiles, and I could simply melt in this exact moment. I look away quickly, trying to hiding my embarrassment.

"Not as cool as yours" I say looking everywhere but him.

"Oh these?" He ask, waving his hands in my face playfully and I laugh, trying not to stare at his hands too much... his hands are just.. too distracting.

We stay silent for a while before I remember something.

"Oh, uh.. I made you something" I tell him, checking my pockets, hoping I didn't lose it somewhere.

"You.. you made me something?" He seems surprised.

"Yeah" I still checking until I find it. "Here... helps with the fidgeting"

I hand him a small black beads ring.

"Wow" he simply says.

"Hope it doesn't ruin your metalhead look" I joke.

"You kidding? This would only make it better" he says. "Thank you. That's very sweet of you, m'lady"

He winks.

"Shut up" I smile again, feeling my cheeks warming more and more as he just looks at me with that sweet smile.

"Why do you know how to use a shotgun?" He suddenly asks.

"Hopper taught me" I answer with a sad smile.

"Oh... cool of him." He comments.

"Yeah. He had so much patience" I chuckle at the memory, looking down with a sad smile.

"Hey.. I'm sorry" Eddie sweetly whispers.

"Don't be. You didn't do anything." I smile at him.

I see him reaching out to my hand but Steve's voice stops him.

"Hey" Steve slows down to catch up with us, and I see Eddie rolling his eyes.

"How's your arm, honey?" Steve asks me.

"What? Oh" I look down to my left arm "Oh, uh.. not that bad, I think"

"I think it needs a bandage or something" Steve says, ready to run up to Nancy and Robin and ask them.

"I got it" Eddie chimes in, he seems almost annoyed though.

Eddie grabs his bandana from his back pocket and goes to wrap my arm in it.

"I'm gonna ruin it" I protest moving away.

"As if I care more about a bandana than you" he instantly says. Surprising not only me and Steve, but also himself I think, considering he widened his eyes slightly.

"Stop complaining, honey" Steve says.

Eddie glare at him just for a second before wrapping the bandana around my injured arm and I hiss at the pain.

"Sorry" he softly says.

"Nah, it's fine" I groan.

He finishes rather quickly. "Here, m'lady"

"Thank you" I say rubbing my arm, just slightly.

"Hey hey don't rub it" Steve stops my movement.

I scoff. "I'm gonna see if Robin and Nancy too will treat me like a child"

I walk faster towards Nancy and Robin.

"Hey, oh! Oh shit, uh, your arm! Are you okay? Do you feel any-"

"I'm fine, Robin. Don't worry. I actually didn't even notice until Steve pointed it out" I chuckle.

"Good.. Good.. but, uh, tell me if you don't feel good okay?" She asks and I nod.

"Promise?" Nancy asks.

"Promise" I say.

I walk a little slower to stay a bit with my thoughts.

I can hear Steve and Eddie talking, but I don't pay too much attention to them at the moment. Focusing instead on the shotgun and when Hopper taught me how to use it.

"Why do I have to learn how to use this?" I asked Hopper, annoyed, as he hand me a shotgun.

"Because, since you refuse to accept any sort of help from me, I'm gonna at least teach how to defend yourself" he answered, exasperated.

"I just refused to live with you" I clarified.

"Exactly" he said "you live alone, it's dangerous. Now again."

I aimed at the empty bottles in front of me.

I shot.

Missed.

"Fuck" I muttered.

"Language." He warned "you're getting closer though. Practice makes perfect. That's how I became... me" he adds proudly.

" Oh. So you're saying you're perfect now?" I challenged with a scoff.

"How come you're so quiet with everyone, but with me you're this noisy?" He spat.

"I..." I stuttered. It was true, he was one of the few people I was comfortable enough to be... a bit louder.

I looked down, ashamed, and heard him sighing.

"Come here" he said patting a spot beside him on the fence.

"I'm sorry" I quietly said with a sigh.

"Nah.. don't apologise. Actually.. it's good you're noisy with me" he assured me.

"Why?" I asked, not understanding what he meant.

"Because it means you trust me enough to speak your mind" he explained. "I see you with those kids, that Wheeler girl, and Joyce's son and that... one with the cool hair"

"Steve" I reminded him.

"Yeah yeah that guy. I see the difference between you talking with them and you talking with anyone else."

"Really?" I asked, once again.

"Yeah! You see, when you talk to your friends you're visibly calm, open and you actually talk, joke and get angry too. But when it's someone you don't know talking to you, you wrap your arms around you, shielding yourself, you talk very little or not at all, you play with your rings to have some sort of excuse not to look at the people you're with." He explained.

I never thought he actually cared this much about me.

"And you noticed all that?" I asked, more to not show that I was happy about it.

"Of course." He nodded "That's why, even though you're getting on my nerves with your comebacks.. I'm also very proud."

I laughed and he did too.

I miss him. Fuck... I really do.

When I hear Nancy's name I snap out of my mind.

"... what happened between you two" I hear Eddie saying. "But if I were you, I would get her back. 'Cause that was as unambiguous a sign of true love as these cynical eyes have ever seen."

Obviously, Steve still has a thing for Nancy.

I hope they sort this out... I don't want him to suffer again.

"What about you, uh?" Steve asks back.

"What about me, Harrington?" Eddie teases.

"Oh I think you know" Steve laughs.

"What? Want me to admit my feelings for Y/n? Saying that she's the only thing I've been thinking about since they paired us up for that stupid project? Or that she's so beautiful that all I want to do is just look at her.. maybe that's why I've been failing O'Donnels' class this whole time."He lets out a small laugh "everytime Henderson or Wheeler mentions her, for whatever reason, I can't help but feel jealous they get to spend so much time with her while I was too much of a coward to talk to her...Fuck.. I'm screwed, man" Eddie rambles, I'm speechless, I never thought he feel this way about... me.

I need all my strength not to turn around and ask him to tell me more.

"Why would you be screwed?" Steve's confused.

"Because... she deserves so much more. I can't do that to her" Eddie replies defeated.

"Let her decide that, uh?" Steve pats him on the shoulder.

Good answer, Steve.

I hear silence for a moment before Eddie's answer.. or more, question.

"There's nothing between you and Y/n, right?" He sounds insecure, almost.

"Man, you just made a whole speech about why I should get Nancy back, not even a few minutes ago, and now you ask if there's something between me and Y/n?" Steve asks in disbelief.

"Uh.. yeah" Eddie simply answers. "You call her 'honey' a lot"

"No, man, there's nothing. She's my best friend since..." He puffs, thinking "ever."

"And, uh, there has never been anything? Like at all?" Eddie checks.

"Well... I did have a crush on her.. for a while, but then we grew apart and... yeah it changed. Then Nancy happened..." Steve explains and I hear Eddie letting out a sigh of relief, but then Steve adds casually "We were each other's first though"

"Uh? What-"

Another earthquake interrupts him.

"Oh shit"

"Okay, second on my list of lists favourite things, earthquakes. Seriously, I'm unsteady enough as it is" Robin says.

I'm holding onto a tree and I see Nancy running and Robin calling for her.

I turn around to check on the boys and nid my head towards the direction Nancy went to and we quickly follow her.

When we spot her, thankfully, the earthquake ceases.

"C'mon" she tells us, walking towards her house.. or this alternate version of it.

"Thank god we were close" Robin breathes out.

"Yeah" I say out of breath.

The house... matches with the rest of the Upside Down, obviously.

Here the cute, clean rooms are dirty and there is this dark dust all over, and the vines are crawling over the walls and the furniture.

"Might be time to get a maid, Wheeler" Robin says, trying to enlighten the mood I think.

"C'mon. I don't want to stay here longer than we have to." Nancy walks upstairs.

"Agree. Definitely don't wanna add 'creepy dimension' to the weird places I had a panic attack in" I blurt out following her.

The others close behind us.

Once we get to her room, Nancy immediately goes to her wardrobe and takes a shoes box.

When she opens it, though, there are no guns... only a pair of shoes.

"Those aren't guns" Eddie sarcastically points out.

"These heels are pointy, but I was hoping for something on the line of a deadly projectile" Robin adds.

"I don't understand" Nancy comments, looking at me.

"You sure you left them here?" I ask.

"Yeah, maybe you left them somewhere else" Eddie tries, getting agitated.

"There's a six-year-old in the house. I know where I keep my guns" Nancy almost snaps at him "and also, I threw these away years ago"

I look down on her desk, thinking, but I notice some notes. Chemistry notes, I helped her writing them so we could practice at home... three years ago.

"Nance.." I say, handing her the notes.

"I get that grades are important to you two, but perhaps studying can wait till we get out of here?" Robin suggests.

"These are from sophomore chemistry." I explain, Nancy looks at me, catching up on what might be happening here.

"Yeah.. and this... this wallpaper, this is old wallpaper" Nancy informes moving around her room to look at the rest "and this mirror, this went to a yard sale. And you" she grabs a stuffed animal "You're not supposed to be here. No, I gave you to cousin Joanna two years ago"

Nancy then moves to grab a diary.

"What is it?" Eddie asks.

"Nancy? You're freaking me out" Robin urges her.

"This doesn't look good" I comment shaking my head waiting for Nancy to confirm my suspicions.

"I think the reason that my guns aren't here is because they don't exist yet" she answers.

"They don't... exist?" Eddie repeats, tensing up more and more each second.

"This diary should be filled of entries. It's not. The last entry is November 6, 1983. The day-"

"Will went missing" I cut her off, earning a nod from her. "The day the gate opened and everything started... we're in the past.. how?"

"I don't know" Nancy shakes her head, defeated.

Suddenly we hear Steve's voice yelling "Dustin! Dustin!" And we immediately hurry downstairs.

Steve's moving awkwardly in the dining room, looking at the ceiling calling Dustin's name.

"Maybe he really does have rabies" Robin suggests.

"Steve!" I call "What the hell are you doing?"

Steve points his torch to us, blinding us for a second.

"He's here. Henderson. That little shit, he's here. He's like...he's in the walls or something. Just listen" he explains breathlessly, pointing his finger up to make us pay attention to... whatever he heard.

As we listen closely, Steve keeps calling for Dustin, but we do manage to hear...his voice!

Oh shit.

"That brings us to the question you first raised" he seems to be saying.

"Oh shit! That's him" I exclaim.

Everyone starts to call for him, yelling his name, hoping he'll hear us.

"Guys! I don't think he can hear us." I grab their attention.

"Yeah, either he can't or he's being a total douchebag." Steve replies.

"Will found a way" I say.

"What?" Steve's turns to me.

"Will. He found a way to speak to Joyce through the lights" Nancy goes to turn some lights on, with no use, nothing turns on.

Steve points his torch to the chandelier. "Guys? You seeing this?"

It's like there is some almost tangible energy surrounding the chandelier and we all gather beneath it.

I reach out to touch it.

"Shit.." I breath.

It's a weird feeling, warm and ticklish.

As we touch the energy around it, it enlightens.

"It.. tickles" Steve comments.

"It's weird, but... pleasant" I agree.

"Yeah" Eddie turns to look at me with a breathed chuckle.

"Does anyone know Morse code?" Nancy suddenly asks.

We all shake our head no.

"Wait, does SOS count?" Eddie asks, earning a light scoff from Robin "is that.. is that good?"

"Yeah, definitely" I tell him.

Immediately Eddie starts to touch the energy in Morse code.

"Yeah, that's working"

We managed to hear Dustin telling us to go to Nancy's room, where they're bringing Nancy's sister's toy. It's supposed to help us communicate more.. effectively.

Hopefully.

We wait kneeling at Nancy's bed, the tension devouring us.

"C'mon, c'mon" Steve keeps mumbling.

I keep fidgeting with my hands and rings, my breath getting heavier and heavier, but suddenly I feel a hand holding mine. I look up seeing Eddie, sending me a reassuring look even if he was just as tense, but it helps my breathing getting even again. He doesn't let go of my hand, though, not that I complain about it.

Dustin's faintly voice snaps us out of our moment.

"You.. seeing this?"

A small mass of energy appears in front of us, just like the one around the chandelier.

When we hear Dustin's laugh we know it's working.

I look at Steve who's already looking towards me, with his "We're okay" look. The one he always gives me when he sees me nervous.

"We're not moving it, but we're gonna unplug it. Stand by" Dustin says.

The energy seems to disappear, but Dustin urges to try again.

"Try it now"

Nancy, unsure, start to "draw" something on the line of "Hi" in the air, basically.

Eddie holds my hand a bit tighter.

They all answer.

"Hi"

"Hey! Hi. That worked!" Dustin exclaims.

"Yes!"

We all let out a sigh of relief and cheer. Robin lets out some relieved giggles.

"Okay. Um.." Nancy starts to draw again.

S T U C K.

"St... stuck!"

"That's what we are" Robin mutters.

"Mhm Mhm" Eddie vigorously nods.

"You can't get back through Watergate?" He asks.

"What the hell's water gate?" Steve asks.

" 'Cause it's in the water and it's a gate" Robin simply explains.

"Oh"

"That's cute" Eddie comments.

"Yeah" I agree.

"Righ, uh... no it's..."

G U A R D E D.

"Guarded. Uh the watergate is guarded" Dustin catches on.

Oh smart boy.

"Perfect, yes yes yes" Steve exclaims.

"We think we have a theory that can help with that" Dustin tells us.

"Genius child." Robin comments, feeling more relaxed now.

"We think watergate isn't the only gate. That there's a gate at every murder site."

"Does anybody understand what he's talking about?" Nancy asks us.

"Nope."

"No"

"No idea"

So she draw a question mark.

"Seriously? How many times do I have to be right on the money before you guys just trust me?" Dustin's voice sound pretty worked up.

"Jesus christ. This kid's gotta get his ego in check" Steve comments, slightly exasperated.

"It's his tone, right?" Eddie chimes in.

"I know" Steve agrees.

"Hey, it's your kid" I tease them.

"Okay so.. how far is your trailer?" Nancy asks Eddie.

"Seven miles?" He replies.

"Nancy?" Robin speaks "uh, I know your house here is, like, weirdly, creepily frozen in time and shit, but haven't you always had bikes?"

"She's right"

"Yeah.. yeah we have" Nancy answers.

We then tell the others to go meet us at Eddie's trailer and we go find the bikes, quickly riding them to Forest Hills Trailer Park.

Hopefully, Dustin's theory is correct once again. Being permanently stuck in the Upside Down is not in my plan, definitely.

Eddie leads the way and we all follow him on our bikes. We don't take much to get there, luckily.

"That's gotta be a Guinness World Record. Most miles travled interdimensionally." Robin jokes as we get off the bikes and head to the trailer.

"And the prize is getting out of here in one piece" I reply.

"Just inhaled a bunch of that crap. It's stuck in my throat." Steve complains couching.

Entering the trailer our attention is immediately on the ceiling. The gate.

"This is where Chrissy died" Eddie explains. "Like, right where she died"

"I think there something in there" Robin warns.

Something from the other side, probably, is trying to pierce through the thin veil of the gate.

"What the hell is that?" Eddie asks as we slowly get closer to inspect it better.

Suddenly the veil is broken and we step back, watching as some mysterious slimy material fall from the crack.

Steve get closer, carefully and we follow close behind.

As soon as we can see on the other side of the gate we all let out a sigh of relief.

There they stand, upside down, Dustin, Max, Lucas and Erica.

"No way" Steve half exclaims.

Dustin laughs as soon as he sees us.

God.. never thought I'd miss that laugh.

"Hi!" He greets.

We a say hi back, shocked... shockingly relieved though.

"Holy shit, this is trippy" Robin comments.

"Yeah.. that's the word" I say with a chuckle.

"Bada-bada boom!" Dustin exclaims ecstatic.

"Okay what's the plan?" Steve asks "how do we.. get back there?"

We all look at each other, uncertain on what to do.

"We got an idea" Dustin tells us.

"We're gonna use, uh, a rope or something and, like, drag you back here" Max explains.

"Yeah, we gonna need something you can fall onto" Dustin says "can we use your mattress?" He asks Eddie.

"Uh, sure, man. Sure" he replies, still out of breath.

"Oh, and the sheets for the rope" he adds.

"Whatever you need."

"Hurry please" Robin asks.

The kids get to work, Dustin and Erica making the rope and Max and Lucas bringing in the mattress. They put it right under the gate, or.. from our perspective, over the gate.

"Those stains are, uh..." Eddie starts explaining, noticing the particularly visible stains on his mattress. "I dunno what those stains are." He finally say, visibly embarrassed.

I try to hold back an amused smile, never thought he'd be the type to get embarrassed over something like this.

The rope is ready and Dustin is about to throw it to us.

"Not quite sure how these physic's gonna work. But, uh...here goes nothing" he finally launch the rope that extends itself like normal gravity permits.

"There we go, and if my theory is correct" Dustin is holding the other end and then lets it go.

The rope stays put... unbelievable.

"That's crazy" I let out a surprised chuckle.

"All right, pull on it! See of it holds" he instructs.

Robin immediately goes to pull on it. It does hold.

"Holy shit"

"Guess I'm the guinea pig" Robin says ready to climb up.

She climbs the rope, grunting and as soon as she get to the top, through the gate, she falls.. she actually falls on the mattress.

"Oh thank god" she exhales "that was fun"

I smile, relieved.

I look at the others seeing if anyone wants to go after her.

"My turn, I guess" I say, not seeing anyone else stepping up.

I pull, experimentally, at the rope and jump holding me up.

I slowly climb up, shit.. never been the athletic type.

Once on the edge of the gate, I feel like being sucked and instantly fall on the mattress, back in our world.

"Shit!" I say as I land, with a grunt. "Fun, yes, but to never do again" I say with a laugh.

Dustin helps me get up so the others can come back too. Max immediately come to hug me and I do too.

"You're okay?" I ask her.

"Yeah, you? What happened to your arm?" Dustin asks worried.

"Nothing unusual" I joke and they smiles.

I see Eddie climbing and then falling.

"That was fun. Shit" He then grabs Dustin hand and get up, getting beside to me and nudging my shoulder playfully.

"All good here?" He whisper to me.

"Yeah" I smile at him.

Now It's supposed to be Nancy's or Steve's turn, but something's wrong.

Steve's screaming Nancy's name, she just stands still.

"Wake up! Wake up! Nancy!" He keeps screaming.

"Oh no no no" I mutter.

"Vecna" Max speaks.

Shit.

[tardigradesonthemoon]

The Problems With My Bedroom: A Saga

Attempt Number 1: When I first moved in i tried having my bed centered on the wall like an adult, The Problem: it's a small room so it took up basically the whole space. the closet is small too so i was able to make drawers for underneath the bed and access them from both sides but the bed was so tall because of the drawers that i needed a step to get up to it which caused the mattress to slide every time i got in or out of bed. FAIL.

Attempt Number 2: i figured no one gets in or our of the bed except me so I don't really need access from both sides so I did this

I pushed it into the corner which i liked better but every time i moved the bed would scoot around, things would fall between the walls and the bed (the number of hours i spent reaching for my phone cord can never be gotten back.) , pillows would sloooowly slip down and push the bed away from the wall, it was a whole thing.

i tried getting things that would keep the bed from skootching away from the wall and they did work but then when stuff still fell it would be even harder to retrieve.

the other problem was that the bed was still up high because of the drawers so every time i'd scoot my butt off the edge, it would pull the sheet off a little bit and after only a couple days I'd have to re-tuck everything. i tried about 20 different solutions for keeping the sheet in place, the only one i found that worked consistently was this thing:

it worked FABULOUSLY but you have to basically flip the mattress over every time you change the sheets so you can reattach all the clips. i did it like 3 times. FAIL.

As i said before the closet is small, so I've used ikea cube things with a back panel attached as drawers to slide under the bed, and that works pretty well except for 2 things:

these are 15 inces deep so my bed frame is 16 when you add the mattress it makes my bed about 30 inches tall so i need a step to climb onto it which means i have to move the step every time i wanna access that set of drawers.

when i originally conceived of the idea my bed was accessible on both sides (see figure 1) so all 4 cubes of each shelf could be accessed fairly easily (the second drawer would only be about 2/3 open but everything inside was still accessible), when it's like it is currently (figure 2) i can access the first 2 cubes no problem, the 3rd if there’s no depression pile or laundry or whatever else in the way (aka: significantly less often than i'd like to admit) and to access the 4th i need to pull it out almost as far as it goes. Now I’ve worked around this by keeping those drawers reserved primarily for seasonal clothes and special occasion items and telling myself that i'll be better about laundry but it’s a work around so its not IDEAL.

Attempt Number 3: now the plan is this:

i flip my bed around and put the pillows end into my closet. the ikea cubes can be stood back up to be used as regular ass drawers as the king of Sweden (probably) intended and which I'll be able to access all of because none of them will be under a bed.

now, eagle eyed readers will have noted that my closet is 55 inches wide, the problem here is that a standard queen bed is 60 inches wide so I'd have to expand the opening a bit which will be a project but I think i can get it done by myself in a weekend or two (or less if I have help) I'll need to do some drywall patching and repaint but there's nothing structural or utilities in the wall so as wall projects go, a pretty simple one. this will take a couple inches of space away from the closet in the bedroom on the other side of that wall but its only my office over there so the only things in that closet are there is crafting supplies which i need to properly organize anyway.

idk what exactly im gonna do with my nightstand and all the shit in there but this isy plan for right now.

unless it's terrible.

[starkeyboy]

how to be a heartbreaker

betrayal version 😈

sweet version: how to be a heartbreaker

luke x aphrodite!reader

the moment the pink aura radiated off my skin was when i knew. i had been claimed by aphrodite. everyone looked at me in awe as the acne on my face washed away, the kinks in my hair straightening out and turning into a blowout. i caught eyes with a boy who had been training me since i got here. the boy who i didn’t know i betray, years later.

***

5 years later

“now listen, y/n, being a daughter of aphrodite isn’t easy,” silena beauregard, my half sister, said. i sat in a chair looking at myself in the mirror as she stood behind me with her hands on my shoulders. “now that you’re old enough, like me, we have one rule.” i looked at her confused when she sighed.

“just one? how is that hard?” i said. she looked at me in the mirror with her eyebrows raised.

“our mother, the goddess of love, sex…heartbreak pretty much. for us to find the one, y/n, you have to break the first one’s heart,” she said. i grew confused. “pretty much just find someone, make them fall in love you and drop them, and then your set to fall in love with the one.”

“so i have to destroy someone’s heart for mine to fall for someone else? what if i end up falling for that one?” i said as i turned to face her. she smiled and shook her head.

“you won’t, i promise, because if you follow these rules, you won’t fall in love with them.” she turned around and pulled out a piece of paper.

“Rule number one is that you gotta have fun

But, baby, when you're done, you gotta be the first to run”

i huffed as luke pushed me with his foot to the ground once again. he smirked at me as he walked over and stood above me.

“i thought you were supposed to go easy on me,” i winced as i sat up. he chuckled and held out his hand to help me up.

“well i thought you were gonna be busy doing makeup once you got claimed but apparently not all aphrodite kids are the same, so im gonna make you the best,” he said as his hand didn’t let go of mine. i looked up at him and i realized. he was my target.

i took a step back and i smiled. “how am i gonna be the best when you are, castellan?” i asked as his cheeks blushed. “or are you just wanting to get close to me?” his eyes widened as he stammered over his words. he shook his head trying to deny it.

“i’m joking, hero, im trying to have fun.” i smirked at him.

***

i looked at silena as she said the first rule, my eyebrows raised.

“did apollo help her write that?” i asked jokingly as she laughed a little.

“now that i’m reading it out loud, it does sound like a song,” she laughed out.

“Rule number two, just don't get attached to

Somebody you could lose

So le-let me tell you”

i walked into the arena, seeing luke cutting a dummy’s head off. i stood in awe for a second and then remembered why i was here. i needed attention.

“i’m starting to think those are real people in your head, hero,” i said as i walked closer. he stopped what he was doing and looked at me.

“i can only imagine if they were,” he said as he picked up the head full of hay and threw it out. “what are you doing here though, thought silena said cabin 10 was off limits tonight.” i shrugged and put my hand on the sword of his.

“that’s the cabin you’re talking about, not me,” i said as he loosens his grip on the sword slightly but gets a grip on it once he notices. “and i was hoping if i could get some private lessons from the best swordsmen.” i smiled at him as he had this dazed look in his eyes. i got him.

“yeah, i guess i could do that,” he said as he smiled slightly. i took a step back and grabbed a sword from a nearby rack and stood in place.

as we were swinging at each other, i noticed that he had lost some of strength and was going easy on me. i knew deep down that it was the daze in his eyes and he was pretty much enchanted. but i was kind of hoping it was him just being tired. shit…i didn’t wanna curse the boy…just break his heart real quick.

my arm collided against his chest as he fell back. i huffed out some air and walked over to him. he was breathing heavy and looking at me in shock. i smirked at him as i held out my hand. once he stood, i patted his chest and placed it there.

“well, hero, looks like the training is working.” i smiled at him. he just smiled and shook his head.

“i was just going easy,” he denied. i chuckled as i took a step back. his face dropping slightly.

“whatever you say, hero.” and i sauntered off. i smirked as i could feel his eyes on me. this was too easy.

***

silena smiled at me as i walked into the cabin. i immediately went to her.

“and where were you at?” she said, knowing exactly where i was.

“just doing my job, silena,” i said smiling. she chuckled and got up and stood in front of me.

“how’s it all going? is it working?” she asked as she fixed some of my hair. i nodded.

“i think i give off something because he was in a daze kind of, like enchanted, and i can feel his feelings. he’s definitely falling for it.” she smirked at me and hugged me.

“too bad it’s all fake”

“Rule number three, wear your heart on your cheek

But never on your sleeve, unless you wanna taste defeat”

i saw luke sitting on the beach just looking out in the distant. i shrugged my shoulders to myself and i walked over and sat next to him, playfully pushing his shoulder.

“looks like you need some company, hero.” he smiled at me as he nodded his head.

“only if it’s your company,” he smirked at me. i made myself blush but immediately looked away. i could feel his stare on me as i knew he noticed as he chuckled. he was buying into it so easily.

“what are doing out here anyways?” i said as i looked out to the sea, trying to not make eye contact. it was silent for a sec and i looked at him to see he was just staring at the ocean.

“i’m tired of the gods not taking initiative to claim their kids,” he said. he turned his head and looked to me. “my cabin is a mess,” he smiled. i smiled back and laughed softly.

“maybe if you sweet talk me into talking to silena, she’ll give you at most 3 out 5 for trying.” i said as he chuckled. his eyes stared into mine and i saw them daze over. i smirked at him as i looked away. “sweet talking me isn’t easy though, im hard to impress.”

“oh yeah?” he ask as i felt his daze leave his body. but i could feel there was still something. he was falling more and more.

i smirked at him and leaned into his ear, “for you though, i’d do anything.” i pulled away and could see his face burning red as i got up and left him dazed all over again.

***

silena walked into the cabin and gave me a knowing look.

“luke can’t stop talking about you,” she simply said. “it’s only been a week, how the fuck did you do it?” i laughed and shrugged my shoulders.

“i’m not done yet, silena, but i guess im just moms favorite.” she scoffed as i laughed again.

“sure,” she sarcastically said.

“Rule number four, gotta be looking pure

Kiss him goodbye at the door, and leave him wanting more, more”

the apollo kids sang as i sat with luke, silena and charlie around the campfire. my head was elsewhere, my mind just thinking of the perfect time to break his pure heart. i felt a hand go on my back, i looked over to see luke looking at me worried.

“you okay?” he said. i sat up straighter as i looked at him and my mind wondered. i smiled at him and nodded.

“will you actually walk me to my cabin? i kinda want some alone time,” i sighed out and he immediately nodded. he got up and held out his hand for me to take. i took it and walked away with silena smirking at us.

we walked in silence until we got to the door, his hand on my back as we walked up the steps. we stood in front and i faced him. my hand took initiative as it worked its way up his chest. i looked up to him and i could see what he was feeling. lust. love. my hand snaked to his scar on his face as i leaned up.

our lips met for a brief moment when i pulled away, his chasing mine. i smiled and i kissed his cheek and whispered.

“i’ll see you in the morning, hero,” i kissed him again and walked into my cabin, leaving him going crazy.

***

silena walked in the cabin shaking her head.

“you better end it soon, he’s all for you,” she said.

“you know it’s kind of fun, knowing he’s in love and i’m purely just not,” i said as i smirked. i bent down to grab the paper from my desk. how to be a heartbreaker written in pink with hearts around the border. it was almost time.

***

“this is how to be a heartbreaker.”

luke and i were in the woods, in a private area, doing some sword lessons. i thought it would be a great idea to leave him here. broken.

his sword collided with mine as i saw his face morph with anger. i furrowed my eyebrows as his strength got stronger and pushed me to the ground. i noticed his sword was different. it wasn’t the ones from camp, it was special.

“what the fuck, luke?” i said as he loomed over me. he seethed as he reached in his pockets and threw a piece of paper at me. the title written big. hearts all around it. in the corner, i wrote: target: luke castellan “hero”. “how did-”

“it doesn’t matter how i found it,” he said as he took a step back. his shoulders slumped. “so it was all a lie? the stolen kisses, holding hands, the secret glances, private lessons, they were a lie?” i stood up and rolled my shoulders back.

“what was i supposed to do?” i shrugged as he flinched at my words. “im the daughter of a goddess called love, sex and many fucking more! we have to break hearts to find the one, luke, i would say sorry, but im not. it’s my life now,” i said as i bent down to grab my bag.

he immediately swung his sword at it and i moved away quickly.

“are you fucking crazy, luke!? you could’ve chopped my hand off,” i called out as he looked at me. i could feel him. betrayal. heartbreak. i swear to the gods, mother, this better count.

he walked to me as he backed me up to a tree.

“you may have won this game, but what’s coming next is just what i need to get back.” he said as he pushed me into the tree and backed off. i looked at him confused as he walked out of the clearing. i looked down at the ground as the paper was disintegrating. i furrowed my eyebrows.

“you did good.” i looked up to see a beautiful women. she almost looked exactly like silena, but older. “maybe too good, you didn’t just break his heart, you crushed it.” it was my mother.

“what did he mean? and how can i feel his feelings?” i asked as she walked over to me. she put her hands on my shoulders.

“you have a gift, y/n, when a boy falls in love, you will know everything he’s feeling,” she said. she ignored my first question as she took a step back. “congratulations, sweet y/n, that was just the start, my little heartbreaker.”

as she disappeared i felt myself smile. i succeeded.

from afar i could feel lukes feelings still. he was still in love, no doubt. anger. betrayal still.

rage.

revenge.

war. it wasn’t a feeling but i could hear it in his head.

what did i do?

[charlieslowartsies]

Hello!

Director's cut about how the flashlight works, please? It's really interesting!

Awrighty!

The flashlight wasn't the Crying Child's light until, I wanna say Ghost Strings. It wasn't Michal Afton's that he unthinkingly gave to Arthur until he debuted in Lies Within. So its role evolved over the stories lol.

But it's always been in the series. I always considered it sort of it's own character, tied to the Crying Child and to the Marionette.

The flashlight is based LOOSELY on the concept of tsukumogami from Japenese folklore. The base idea is that "an item that lived long enough would eventually become alive and turn self-aware." I emphasize loosely cause, well, 100 years has absolutely not passed. Nor is it housing a spirit. The flashlight is not technically by-the-book haunted, it is still a tool. Although finicky, it can pass as ordinary when it needs (or wants to.) The flashlight is also based off Thor's Mjölnir, and the Master Sword from LoZ.

I asked myself "what happens when residual spooky stuff clings to objects in the restaurant? What's good symbolism for light/night guards? Oh duh, the flashlight!"

Before Arthur's death, it was very normal. Just a plastic, light yellow flashlight that Max gave his brother one night, not realizing the importance of his words on the child. Quite often we say something off-handed that children cling to with all their might. This is how the flashlight's powers were planted and how they grew, if rather oddly. Arthur believed it could do things like chase away the Nightmares, and so it did, and still does in the series. He brought it to the restaurant on the day he died, setting it by the Prize Puppet and, of course, never picking it up again. The Marionette took it and hid it in it's box on some strange, unbidden instinct as the chaos of the day unfolded.

After Arthur's death, it began to run without batteries. It won't turn on for just anyone, although you do not need to be a Suit to work it, especially if you're deemed worthy of being a security guard by it. It's a bright light when being held by a strong spirit, and generally is used for warding off Nightmares, tearing at shadows to reveal the Truth, to expose what is trying to hide in plain sight. It can force Mike and Gold to Switch, and as such could be used as a weapon against them in the wrong hands, or even the Marionette before it was Revived.

It's relentless and terrifies William Afton, because even though he was able to manipulate the Marionette and the Crying Child early on, he could never quite seem to get the flashlight to not hurt him when it's beam touched him. Nightmares loathes it, because he cannot hide and pretend to be bigger and scarier than the rest when it's light sends away the shadowy smog around him.

It's able to move with relative independence, teleporting like Marion to it's desired destination or rolling. It prefers to stick with Mike unless for some reason he's in grave danger, in which case it seeks out Danny Fitzgerald, the day guard. In Ghost Strings, it was tied to the Marionette and Arthur, and so when they began to break down together, it got weaker until it attached itself to Mike as a new host, a sort of passing of the torch. It will pass again in Lies Within.

It's level of sentience I settled on is limited but clear enough to understand usually what it wants. It has a job to do, and it will accomplish it without fail, and illuminate the darkness. Mike can control Goldy, at the very least direct him, but the flashlight isn't really something you command. It doesn't think in gray scale, rather in black and white. This can be tricky, since life is not black and white.

It's something you wield, so that does make it a bit of a wildcard. Like Suits that are varied with different powers, the flashlight has different tactics it tries based on what it's aimed at, but there's little way of knowing what it will try or making it do something you want, which makes it kind of unreliable and Mike tries to use it as nothing more than a normal flashlight, and far less as a weapon.

Mike uses it secondarily to open doors that connect to other door ways, typically inside the building he's in. This is great trick for moving across a location rapidly, and is an offshoot of Goldy's teleporting powers. (It's thought to augment certain powers the ghosts already carry because of this.) If Max used the light, it could potentially create stronger illusions. If someone else used it ON Max, it could likely destroy his illusion instead.

It's twin is Max's cassette walkman, which is also why they're the same shade of yellow in drawings. The walkman was Max's most important possession when he was alive, connecting him to music and offering an escape when he needed it. Like Scraptrap, the walkman symbolized escape. The flashlight was Arthur's, and it stood for protection like the Marionette did.

[nanjokei]

imma be honest it's almost impossible for me to talk about my feelings on here because last time i was earnest on here a bunch of weirdos on here took that and used those sentiments against me in some insane anon hate over what, nothing, it's very parasocial and strange that they did that. if you're so concerned about the two people i had a scuffle with on here (to which both i apologized to personally and buried the hatchet) and how "there are other people on the other side of the screen" have you once thought that before you wrote several paragraphs psychoanalyzing me based on posts i made about my personal insecurities?

i truly hope you screwed your head on right since november. and people wonder why people move to other sites. i'm busy with real life these days, but the fact that someone had the time to get all up in arms over niche subculture opinions and attack my character is honestly downright jobless. i've blocked the anons responsible, idk what good that does anyway, but the mental impact was crazy, i've only somewhat just recovered from it. whenever i wanna post here it's like "some weirdo is gonna use this against me" and i just close out of the tab lol.

i am not a public figure, i do not owe you or anyone perfect behavior, while i avoid conflict it's also human nature to accidentally bump heads. it happens. you taking that as an indictment of my character is incredibly strange. 6 months back on twitter and not once has anyone had any issue with me. if anything, people are much nicer and engage with me properly. people on there found my twitter after stumbling on my work elsewhere and sent me their well wishes. the world is actually a good place.

tumblr is also a good place full of nice people who mind their own business, but due to the site being desolate some people have a jobless mean girl attitude. deeply pathetic people.

i have very nice mutuals on here that i like to check up on every other day, but it's so hard to post anymore. the site is barren so i guess some of you guys who have no sense of boundaries are incredibly bored and choose to sate that boredom in the worst ways possible.

if i hate someone i wouldn't follow them. i hope you guys got the help you need because jesus. and i'm glad i didn't publish your weird ass asks like i was originally going to. i would have seriously done wrong on my own dignity if i had. it's probably hypocritical for me to say this after writing all this, but giving those kinds of people attention is cruel to not only myself but to them.

if you're gonna start yapping again please send that shit off anon, talk to me like an adult. can you not do that, talk with your identity attached?

anyway, i wanted to post this to get it off my chest, so i can clear the air and ease myself back into capital p Posting.

i have a lot of posting to do about horseracing history, so.

[sweetronancer]

tw : vent!!!

love changes everything by sam phillips is so real. like "im not sorry we loved, but i hope i didnt keep you too long" is way too fucking real. like it hurts me to love so much. it hurts to like care about someone so much but i cant let them go and my heart aches. im not sorry we had what we did and i miss her. i hate to miss her but i do. love really does change everything, it changes how you view someone and how you feel for someone. i dont wanna love like that anymore, i dont want a love where shes just ripping my heart out or whatever. im happy in my current relationship but i feel horrible because i miss my ex just a little bit. i hate myself for loving her still but i also love who im currently with so much. but i cant let the old one go. she was my first like actual love. like she made me feel seen and i loved that, the first month of the relationship she listened to me and then she stopped because she met another girl. she was like "oh but i love you two equally" thats not a normal thing to tell your girlfriend that you chased for a while, is it? i told her it was either me or her but she chose both of us and i didnt confront her about it at all and it still makes me miserable and its been almost a year since that happened. i stayed with her and idk why, i just liked the attention she gave me. im pretty sure she dated the other girl behind my back while we were together, im like pretty positive, but i stayed with her and i let her walk all over me. i let her win every single argument and at like 7 months in i stopped fighting, i stopped trying to talk it out because it was pointless. im pretty sure by month 3 it was one sided and it has been one sided, i doubt she even loved me to begin with. i think she only liked the idea of dating me. i just wanna scream and cry and allat because this really like bothers me every fucking day and i dont talk about it but i guess this is me speaking up. something i couldn't do with her but im doing it now. she neglected me a lot too. im pretty sure she love bombed me and allat yk? i just took it though. i was a sucker for her and tbh i still am. i hate myself for it and i miss my current girlfriend so much, we barely talked today but her service is horrible but at least she actually lives in the states?? my ex hated america and i doubt she'd like to pay me a visit yk. but it just pisses me off how she could go hours and like a whole day without texting me (my ex) and like i just let her, i told her i have attachment issues and she was like "thats not my fault" but she begged me not to leave her when she fucked up. she got so jealous when i made a new friend and bitched about it so much so i dropped everyone for her. whatever anyway!!!