#i think this would give me a good setup without having to spend Too much more money

[orcelito]

Thinking about getting a nose piercing. Like a little stud on the side... on the right side. My cartilage piercing is on the left & I plan to wear a lil hoop on it once it's healed enough. And that just might be the only cartilage piercing I want? Bc I have my double lobes and I got only one cartilage piercing bc I like the idea of having just one lil hoop in one ear. Coincidentally on the same side as Vash's hoop, though I chose it long b4 getting into Trigun bc I part my hair to the right lol, which means a cartilage piercing would be more visible on the left.

Anyways I was thinking about it and if I have a side nose piercing on the right of my nose, then an eyebrow piercing on my left eyebrow... balanced with my hair on the right side... I think that'd be my ideal piercing setup tbh, at least for my face.

Could change my mind later, but I am Thinking about it

[archibaldtuttle]

Alien : Romulus - a 7/10 reason to stop making Alien films

This review will be spoiler-free

When I came out of the theater yesterday, after having gone through a viewing of Alien Romulus, I caught myself agreeing with my friends - this was pretty good!

And I am beyond poisoned about the Alien franchise since Ridley Scott got his grubby paws all over it with Prometheus. The only reason I made the effort to move my ass to the theater to see this one was because he wasn't directing (and also I didn't have to pay for it) (thanks sib).

I knew Alvarez from two of his previous films, the 2013 remake of Evil Dead and Don't Breathe. I am pretty mixed on both - they demonstrate solid filmmaking abilities and (in the case of Evil Dead), a deep respect for franchises he's adding to. However they are also a little heavy on the jumpscares for my taste, and in the case of Don't Breathe I just can't praise the film without having to mention that the third act twist is gross in an entirely unnecessary, shock-value way, that does nothing for the film thematically.

That did give me some hope for Romulus however, because that third act twist told me Alvarez likes talking about rape and impregnation. And contrary to Don't Breathe... that's right at home in Alien.

So what about the film then? It's good. Solid premise, I like that we're finally, finally, seven films in, seeing the planet-side society that births all those rundown spaceships. Good pair of main characters with on one side a demonstrably resourceful Rain and on the other a very nuanced look at the franchise's synthetics with Andy. The others are more forgettable but I can't blame that too much on the film - they're well characterized in a few short scenes and that's all I can expect really. The build-up is solid, the various ticking clocks and sources of tensions well established.

What I find particularly notable is the really good setpieces and the use of facehuggers in a way I've wanted to see for a long time. Very good physical effects supplemented by good to ok-ish CGI. The writing is very heavy-handed - I wish more people looked at what O'Bannon did with exposition before they write their own Alien scripts. I do give credit to Alvarez and his co-writer Sayagues for the cool concepts explored and the way they thread Andy's character exploration through them.

The editing is mostly blameless - I wouldn't call it great or even that good, especially with how hectic it gets during some more action-ey scenes, but you can tell Roberts isn't specialized or even used to horror films. I guess he took from his experience on Pressure which would explain a lot... The score is really good, one of the highlights of the film in my opinion - I've liked almost all I've heard from Wallfisch so I wasn't surprised to find out he did this one.

So why did I give this review a very baitey title. It became clear as I was watching the fourth, then the inevitable fifth act unfold, that we were, collectively, scraping the barrel on what can be done with Alien. Prometheus and Covenant, beyond the fact that they were garbage movies, were already trying desperately to find new things to do with the concept. Romulus succeeded, for the most part, in finding new ways to twist it into something interesting, something we hadn't seen before (or at least not entirely). And I'm pretty sure that's it.

I don't want more directors to spend months racking their brains to try and find three or more scene setups that haven't already been done in seven main films, two AVP films and countless video games, in order to string them together into a coherent 2 and a half hour flick. I don't think it's impossible, Alvarez clearly demonstrated that he could do it and I'm pretty sure other people could. But why waste so much time, talent and energy on a series that objectively does not need expanding upon?

I know why, it's because the current studio system is allergic to anything that doesn't have brand recognition. But I think it's sad. And I think it would be a lot more gracious to put an end to a franchise after a pretty good film that did all it could to honor its predecessors rather than try to keep squeezing more out of it until it turns into the horror version of Star Wars.

[featureenvyproductions]

my thoughts on how to do Basically Kinda cel animation but cheap as fuck. strap in this is a long post and there are many swears PART 1

Really long intro

ok so I was animating my thing the other month right, and I was going to infodump on how I do cel animation without the right training from the comfort of my chaotic mess of an office. But I got into it and I was like "my god, I'm going to have surgery in a few months and my gofundme has accumulated dust, I can't be buying fucking $1/each cels and more paint". that got me thinking like....MOST people are probably like "wow I'm broke as shit I can't do this" even if they want to, but I think you can, so I took a couple weekends to hurl myself face first into seeing if I could do this - the version for if you're broke as fuck or don't want to spend money.

Obviously if you want something good quality AND you don't want to make this a struggle, splurge on good supplies like real cels and paint if you have the money. But if you don't or you just want to fuck around, this info dump is for you.

Disclaimer: I'm not a professional (if you can't already tell lol 👀👀👀) and I have no idea if this is what cal arts would approve of or whatever the shit but to be brutally honest, I also don't give a fuck, they're too busy fulfilling their role as the gatekeepers of the human-expression-to-corporate-tax-write-off pipeline to watch your heartfelt if low res artistic expression so come join me in this pit and let's just do whatever the fuck we want with whatever we got.

My goal is to give you ideas so you too can do the fucking thing. It's not gonna be Snow White. It's not gonna even be Steamboat Willie. That's fine. The point is to do the thing anyway and make some shit you wouldn't have tried otherwise. (And share it with me here on the internet bc I'm bored and depressed. If you feel like it) because sure you can go and pull up your 2d animation software and rig some shit up and blow anything I can do by hand out of the water in about 3 min flat but THATS NOT THE POINT IS IT THE POINT IS THAT YOU TOO WANT TO EXPERIENCE ART AS SUFFERING AND MAYBE ALSO UNDERSTAND THAT SOFTWARE DOESNT MAKE ART FORMS OBSOLETE.

Anyway let me just stow this soap box under the counter real quick.

There.

K So I'm gonna go through how I tackled this challenge - cheap ass cel animation - starting with prep, then the drawing steps, then getting the shit into some form where you can put all the frames together.

Prerequisite suggestion

This ramble assumes that you at least vaguely understand how drawing works and understand the basic idea of how animation works. How to animate overall - like the principals of animation- is a wee bit outside the scope of this post, in no small part because I know there are a BILLION people out there who understand those principles and execute them better than I do. I think I followed some of Aaron Blaise's videos to learn, but there are also other tutorials on YouTube. I also just learned from watching pencil tests and filming references of my long suffering friend in which i gave her instructions like "ok NOW put your hands on your hips dramatically in the direction of that rock". But yeah like I said the principals of animation themselves are better off taught by someone who isn't me (and I'm honestly still practicing).

Alright that's enough intro. Let's start with setup

FINALLY THE INGREDIENTS LIST

Most of the stuff in this ?tutorial? is really probably honestly laying around your house right now, especially if you live with any 50+ people who have ever had an office job. But I will talk about costs anyway in case you're starting from scratch. I found pretty much all of the stuff at Dollar Tree, and yeah, it's not an ideal place to go, but also this is a tutorial for if you're broke. And also unlike things that you have to repeatedly buy that cost you more per unit in the long run, most things you are using here are one time necessities, so you really are saving money. ....Now I'm in the US. If you're not in the US, I think there are also similar stores in other places....It'll be similar to something like if there's a shop that sells stuff for 1-2 euro or whatever. Things at dollar tree range from about 1-5 bucks, but I managed this with the $1.25 items (some were actually less than that but I lost track of my receipt).

You will need the following shit for part 1 of this vaguely educational series:

The smallest cheapest strand of fairy lights you can get. Mine were battery powered, doesn't really matter either way. If you can get white ones get white ones. (I could Not find white ones :/)*

Batteries if they need batteries *

An 8.5x11 drawing pad (at the dollar store I got the 64 pg one)

A translucent container with a flat bottom. I got a little 8x12 storage basket for this. You probably can't get anything big at the dollar store but try to get something with a bottom as close to the drawing pad size as possible (it's ok if it's a little smaller) *

Scissors (or a knife/craft knife you don't mind destroying. You may want safety goggles if you don't have them. These also exist in dollar tree)**

Clear tape**

Something small and tube like. Maybe plastic straws. I actually used flagpoles from those tiny flags, you know the ones (ok these in the picture are NOT from dollar tree and i will provide excuses later on in this document. You could also use straws i think)

Hole punch

Super glue (or the strongest adhesive you can otherwise get if this isn't available to you)**

pencils (I don't know why I didn't take a picture of them but you're on the gay art website I feel like you've probably seen a pencil in your life)

sharpie (you'll use it more later but you might as well get it now)

A pack of sheet protectors (you may or may not need more depending on how many frames you're doing but for now one will do but for this first part you only need one)

* this is part of an optional component but you WANT TO HAVE IT TRUST ME

**if you are REALLY not in the mood to buy these things and you don't need the tape/scissors for the above optional item, you can technically just go to FedEx and like make a cheap b/w self serve photocopy of something to avoid the employees yelling at you and then quickly go use their choppy thing and the tape and scissors they have laying around in the self serve area. They may have a hole punch too idk

And now FOR THE MAKING PART

First thing to make: substitute peg bar

Some things I'm doing here are optional, but the one that really isn't is the peg bar. That's the thing that keeps all your stuff lined up. Without this your frames are going to be moving all over the place and movements won't register the right way. It's got (if you couldn't guess) pegs on it. And these match up with the holes in your paper or cels.

This is a real peg bar

I think this is like 16-20 bucks if you buy it on Amazon, maybe a smidge cheaper if you go through someone else (I will discuss traditional animation supplies for when you're NOT broke as shit in another post). The problem is that this is for acme punched paper (notice how two of the holes are long). Yes it helps things register better, but we're going to be punching our own paper and a 700 dollar acme punch is NOT in our budget today.

There is a version of a peg bar you can get that fits normal hole punch holes. But this isn't the buy things the easy way tutorial, this is the broke as fuck tutorial. So we're going to be making this shit.

Steps to make the thing (I'm sorry about this list not being numbered apparently even when you fuck with the html directly you can't put images in a numbered list on this webbed site):

Ok first we need some cardboard or cardstock. Something sturdier than regular paper. OH GUESS WHAT WE HAVE THAT. If you don't have other stuff to use laying around, take all the backing cardstock off the drawing pad. Be careful to keep as much of the adhesive stuff left on the actual paper as possible.

We're going to cut that into strips. Keep them as straight as possible. They should be like 1/2-3/4 in wide.

(You may want to skip ahead in the steps a bit to see how we're using this so when we use tape in this step you can avoid putting it where the pegs go. You don't have to but things will stick better) Stack them and tape them together as tightly as possible. This will be the bar part of the bar.

Take one of your page protectors and place it on the bar and try to center the middle hole on the bar. Trace that hole onto the bar and pick two others to trace (pick circle ones that fit entirely onto the bar).

Now we make the pegs. You will use the flags for this (or straws, see flags and note in the Ingredients TM list) So I actually had these pride flags from Walmart (please remember we are trying to stay dirt fucking cheap here, I promise I don't usually go to Walmart at all.) Bc my dollar tree doesn't have them yet, HOWEVER I KNOW THEY WILL BECAUSE IVE GOTTEN THEM BEFORE so technically by the time I finish writing this you will be able to get them there most likely. Now the great thing about cheap flags is they're cheap. That means they use shitty hollow plastic tubes as poles. That's great for us because we are going to snip off the ends and use them as pegs. You want to measure up a 1/2 inch from the bottom and cut them. Do this on 3 SEPARATE flags, because you want at least one perfectly flat end for each (that's likely the factory end, so keep track of which end that is). You can also use plastic straws for this probably, or paper sticks for thick lolly pops. The idea is whatever you use needs to fit the page protector holes.

Take your super glue or other adhesive and put a little on the "pegs" and attach them (factory side down) to the bar where you marked the holes in step 4. (note that the pic shows that I taped both this and the thing you're making next to the leftover cardstock to keep it all together, which is an option but you don't have to if you like to suffer)

Let this dry while we work on the next part.

Second thing to make: "light box" (I use this term COMICALLY loosely. Optional but you will have an easier life if you have one)

This is the LED Light pad I use for animating. If you can afford like 30 bucks, just splurge and get one. It helps you cheat and see your previous pencil drawings under the current one so you can better draw the current frame. (And before you ask yes I know it looks like I dug it out of apocalypse aftermath rubble I will not be taking criticism at this time,,,,)

If you can't afford that, we're going to MacGyver together a little apparatus that works basically the same way. The "we have LED light box at home" if you will.

(I mean you can also just tape a peg bar to a window and go at it which is free but your arms are going to hurt drawing like that. You can also just get really good at page flipping while drawing. I am NOT good at that )

Steps to make the thing:

Remember how I made you get a plastic container with as flat of a bottom as possible? (It can be flat on the inside or outside bottom doesn't matter) We're going to mutilate that. Put on your safety glasses if you have them and you're scissor-cutting something that tends to crack rather than bend because the occasional plastic shard will fly off. Cut the sides off the container. It's probably easier with a knife but I was all about suffering. Try to get as much of the sides off as possible. It's ok to leave some of them if that's the side you'll have facing down. (For me my container had an annoying hard to cut rim on the bottom so I just decided to cut the sides off entirely and have that side down).

Take your fairy lights out and unwind them. If you have battery powered ones... Pry the cheap little battery compartment open (you can see there's a screw driver there so use one if you have it but this plastic is so cheap you'll probably be able to just bend the cover and pry it open and rotate it out of the way tbh) and stick the batteries in. We do this first to make sure the lights work before we waste time using them.

Cut a little notch in the side of your plastic piece where the wires can go.

Flip your plastic piece so that the side facing you is the side you want facing down the rest of the time when you're actually drawing on this thing.

Feed the wire from the battery box (or coming off the plug if no battery box) through the little notch , with the battery box OUTSIDE the plastic area, and tape the wire in place.

Now arrange the strand so you have as even as possible a distribution of lights all over the plastic, and tape the wires down to hold the arrangement in place.

Flip it back over and switch it on. Voila shitty light box. Now you can't put a lot of PRESSURE on this but it'll do the job. You can see like 1-2 previous images through it too believe it or not. And this is with these horrible yellow lights I found, if you have brighter ones it should be more effective. (Now switch it off so you don't eat battery life)

Now let's get the paper ready

Now that the first part of your setup is done you need shit to do your pencil tests/preliminary animation on. (The thing you'll eventually trace onto the cel)

Take the paper you removed the backing from. We're going to mark and punch it. We'll be punching from the ADHESIVE/PERFORATED SIDE. This is important because it will help keep the pages and therefore holes aligned when we take the hole punch after it.

Here's how you go about it for the best result in my humble opinion:

If you made your peg bar as above, you've already removed the cardstock cover of your cheap drawing pad so go to step 2. If you haven't, then remove the cardstock cover/backing from your pad now. Try to keep the adhesive intact as much as you possibly can (basically you want to keep the pages from slipping when you eventually punch them so they need to stay in a neat little stack. If you're having trouble or you're having to use a different type of paper such as ink jet paper, you can probably also achieve this with binder clips in a pinch- is that what they're called? the black things? look like 90s butterfly hair things if you squint? Just make sure the paper is stacked evenly and the stack is held firmly together. )

Still trying to keep the adhesive holding the stack together as much as possible, carefully separate the paper into 2 or 3 smaller stacks. (ignore the hole markings in this picture I took it after I realized I needed to demonstrate this step)

Take one stack and put one of the sheet protectors over it, lining the side with the holes up so that that edge is along the perforation in the drawing paper (if you're using a different type of paper than the dollar store pad, line the edge of the sheet protector up with the edge of the paper, but move it about 1/8th to 1/4th inch away from the edge. basically you don't want the holes right on the edge of the paper). Trace the holes onto the paper with a pen or pencil. (Note: if you're using a manufactured peg bar, use that to determine the hole placement instead of a sheet protector - it'll be easier to modify the holes in sheet protectors if necessary later).

Carefully, keeping the stack of paper all lined up and together, punch each of your three holes with the hole punch. (The reason you made stacks is that do you really want to do this with each individual page? I didn't think so)

Ok Let's Try It Out!!

Alright here's a shot of me using this to draw some frames from my animation about some creepy deer (coming soon to a feature envy productions official tumblr near you). You take some paper and carefully place it on the pegs, sketch a key frame, and then place another sheet over that on the pegs, switch on the "light box" and sketch the next key frame, referencing the first one. (Oh and of course make sure you're drawing on the smooth side - not the side you taped the lights to). Like I said, this is definitely like. If you have no other options you might as well try it - You generally can see through about 3 sheets of paper in a dark room. At least the key areas. So you should be able to in between with this setup as well. Not great but hey! If you're on a strict budget, you can still do this, and it beats buying a bunch of expensive shit on Amazon. I'm pretty confident that most people have almost all of these items laying around their house like I said, but let's break it down - If you're like me and you animate at 24 fps but on 3s, that's an average of 8 frames per second. So for each pad of dollar store paper, you're getting about 8 seconds of animation (maybe more, maybe less). You can factor that in when deciding how many drawing pads to purchase (keep in mind if your backgrounds are very simple, you may be able to use the additional cardstock for this purpose as well instead of using up sheets of paper).

Stay tuned because we're not done yet!

Part 2 will be Inking and painting. (Note: on the day I'm writing this I have a placeholder post there, but if it's still a placeholder when you look, please keep checking, I will add the second part, I just didn't want someone to have to HUNT for it if you're looking at this from like a year from now) Yes ink and paint. You didn't think I was getting you all excited for a vine's worth of pencil tests were you? no we're doing the whole expensive process from pencils to final product. And I'm going to show you the cheapest way I could figure out.

[misslavenderlady]

OK Since you left me some questions about Cherry, I'm gonna leave you some asks about Bree!!

Who's our gals go to when it comes to late night rides? Which of the boys is she sticking with?

Each of the boys nicknames for her? Do they share a collective one?

Which of the baby bats are mama's girls or daddy's girls?

Do you think she and Michael would ever start a family in the future?

Awwww thank you!! You're too sweet! 💜

Being on motorcycles makes her nervous as hell. She's constantly worried about getting into an accident, so her go-to is actually Michael. He sometimes takes her on rides (😏) around Santa Carla or gives her a lift to work if she's having car issues. He's very sweet and patient and doesn't drive faster than what she's comfortable with. If she's with the Lost Boys, then her go-to is Dwayne. In her mind, if Laddie is safest with him, then he's the best pick.

And unlike the others, Bree wears a helmet. She doesn't care how much the boys tease her about it, brain damage is no joke. She will not get on the bike without it. She'd rather walk than not wear a helmet.

2. These are their nicknames for her:

David - Darling, Pretty Girl, Little One

Dwayne - Sweet Girl, Little Lady, Honey

Paul - Babydoll, Hottie, Wifey (makes her blush the most)

Marko - Bella, Angel, Nightingale (as in Florence Nightingale)

Michael - Bee/B, Babe, Beautiful (the second two are only for when they're in a relationship)

All five of them call her "Baby" most of the time

3. Honestly? It's an even split. The baby bats are basically clones of their fathers in both looks and personalities, meaning they're very attached to their dads, but their mother is so loving and kind to them. They all follow her around like ducklings.

Kira does tend to gravitate to her dad just a smidge more. She got her mother's need to take care of everyone, and her anxiety as well (sorry bby), so she wants to learn from her dad about being a strong, brave leader so she can protect her sisters. She's always spending time we David, getting guidance from him on how to hunt, fight and outsmart her enemies.

4. Okay......here's the thing. She kinda already does have something with Michael. This is a long answer, so I'll divide the post and add the answer below:

When I played this all out in my Sims game, I had a separate family for Michael and Star. Now, we all know about the terrible "sequel" to the Lost Boys called The Tribe, where our main characters are Chris and Nicole Emerson. I've seen some sources say they're Michael's children and others say they're his cousins. I feel like it makes more sense if they're his children. Not that I would ever enjoy acknowledging the movie as canon, of course.

But I thought "I can make this better".

So in this setup, Michael was in a relationship with both David and Star (Michael has two hands! He can share them!). He ended up having Chris and Nicole with Star while David became a step-dad to them. This was while the other baby-bats were around. Kira is the only one of the girls to have siblings that aren't biologically related to her. She sees herself as the big sister of Chris and Nicole.

Tweaking this story a bit, Chris and Nicole become the children of Michael and Bree. There's a bit of an age gap between the two Emerson kids and the Lost Girls, but they're all still family. Unlike in the movie, Chris and Nicole are still kids when the girls are grown up. Kira teases her brother a lot, but she's also a good caretaker to him, making sure he knows how to be a good big brother to Nicole.

That advice comes in handy because Chris grows up to be a very cautious and protective brother while Nicole is adventurous and reckless. He has to keep her in check so she doesn't wander into danger. He'd never forgive himself if something happened to her.

Bonus Grandma Lucy:

[missionel]

punch out pokemon au ‼️

so i realized that punch out wii has 13 opponents (not counting donkey kong) that are divided up in such a way that they could all be opponents in a pokemon game! the minor and major circuits are the 8 gym leaders, the world circuit is the elite four, and mr sandman is the champion! it's too perfect! i've at least decided everyone's type specialties, sooo....

gym leaders (minor & major circuits):

- glass joe: flying types

i imagine joe is not as miserable in this au, since the first gym leader's job is literally to lose a lot to young trainers. he's not too skilled at battling, and became a gym leader by accident. his team is made up of two measly kalosian flying types, fletchling and vivillon.

- von kaiser: rock types

i know herr kaiser is typically associated with steel, but steel types are way too cool to be the type of the second gym. sorry. i imagine his students are his gym trainers. his ace is rockruff, and maybe he uses something classic like geodude as well.

- disco kid: electric types

these moves are ELECTRIC! i think this one is self-explanatory. disco kid is pretty good at battling, at least good enough to secure a spot as the 3rd gym leader, but he also doesn't take things too seriously. his team is made up of pokemon that he befriended first and trained for battle later, with his ace being raichu.

- king hippo: ground types

did i give him the ground type just so i could give him hippowdon? ...maybe. there's not much else for me to say about king hippo... he's just chilling. good for him. i was originally gonna give him the poison type, but i'll be giving that type to someone else. ;)

- piston hondo: ghost types

what can i say? he seems like a ghost type guy. obviously he gets a revaroom, because honda and all that. he absolutely feeds his pokemon only the best of snacks.

- bear hugger: normal types

what comes to mind when you hear "bear hugger" and "pokemon"? obviously it's bewear. that is his ace, without a doubt. he also has a greedent and a snorlax, it's way too perfect! and of course, they all like raw fish.

- great tiger: psychic types

yeah i don't think i need to explain this one. the man has a medicham (his ace) and an espeon. this also fits the theme of psychic gym leaders tending to have psychic powers themselves. do you think it's legal to use your own psychic powers to trip up your opponents in a battle? let's not worry about it...

- don flamenco: grass types

it goes without saying that this man has a roserade for his ace, as well as an equally powerful arboliva. maybe carmen is one of his gym trainers, or perhaps she's only there to cheer him on? and do you think he would acquire a shiny roserade for his title defense fight to match his all-black look?

elite four (world circuit):

- aran ryan: bug types

what an absolute bug of a man. starting off the elite four strong with a not-so-strong type, aran ryan chose the generation 7 bug type vikavolt to be his ace. he also has a shedinja, which sports the electric tera type and the air balloom item in his title defense fight. really? (for non-pokemon nerds, this setup makes it nearly unkillable. it's practically cheating!) aran has a questionable background, and seems to have been affiliated with some shady people in the past...

- soda popinski: water types

mister popinski has a love for both water and ice types, and he's in luck because a good few pokemon are both! his ace is one of those, that being walrein. he also has a lapras. he's quite fond of giving his team the soda pop item as opposed to normal healing items during battle.

- bald bull: fire types

red is the color of anger, and also the color of the fire type, so naturally this angry man would gravitate towards fire types, especially the fire type bull that is paldean taurous. he also uses a magmortar. of course bald bull isn't angry ALL the time, and spends his free time relaxing with his pokemon. warm pokemon give warm hugs :]

- super macho man: dragon types

of course everyone's "favorite" show-off uses what's generally regarded as one of the most powerful types. his ace is a kommo-o, a very cool one at that. (i like smm and i like kommo-o. but it works!) he also has an appletun, which was a gift to him from a certain someone... oh my god, this au lets macho man literally release the beast. amazing.

the champion (mr. sandman)

sandman does not use just one type, as is the case with most champions. he has a gengar and a musharna, for obvious reasons. he also has a crabominable and and a hydrapple. he was mysteriously missing after mac defeated the elite four, but i'm sure he'll come back soon. right?

i'm sure nothing bad will happen ;)

feel free to suggest ideas for this au, i still need to flesh out all of the teams so i am welcome to input :3

[ceeridwen99]

BG3 Companion Endings !!Rant!!

Hello there.

I...I just need to get some things off my chest, and this seems like as good of a place to do it as I will get.

So, exactly 100 hours of documented time into my campaign, and I'm about to start a fresh game because I don't want to finish act 3.

Let me explain. Also !!!!*SPOILERS*!!!!!

This may be a bit of an unpopular opinion, but the conclusions to a lot of the questlines, once we reach BG, are either unsatisfying or utter trash. My main gripe comes from the choices--or lack there fucking of--when it comes to the conclusion of certain companion questlines.

(Note: This is NOT a post about whatever companion ending one thinks is "good" vs "evil". I honestly don't give a shit about what endings people choose for their games. My issues come from the endings themselves.)

This stems from my main group setup, Shadowheart, Karlach, and, of course, Astarion (also my romance). I played a bard!Tav. It goes without saying that I love all the companions, even the ones that I didn't mainly use. They're all beautifully layered and I love that they are actually influenced by your playthrough...for the most part.

We'll get there in a moment.

My point is, after spending a good 100 hours with these characters, you end up caring a great deal about them. I really looked forward to seeing how their arcs were going to come to a head when we finally reached BG...

Act 1: Phenomenal.

Act 2: Fucking Fantastic.

Act 3: What the hell was that!

Never mind the complete and utter lack of pacing in the third act compared to the first two, what the hell are those questline endings?! I've never been so fucking disappointed and furious in my life. Again, this isn't a post about "good" vs "evil", but my irritation that NONE of the endings are good, or in my case, satisfying.

For a game that really stresses choices mattering (and for the most part they do to a certain point), it really suffers from Telltale syndrome in its final act, where none of the choices actually end up mattering, but in truth, you're pigeon-holed into two, and if you're lucky three endings.

Shadowheart's ending (in the Selune path) is either losing her parents but freeing her from Shar's control. Or gaining her parents but being tortured for the rest of her life. I don't even want to go into the Shar ending.

Karlach's ending is just fucking sad no matter which choice you make, and even the patched ending--supposedly giving us a better conclusion--is just bittersweet.

ASTARION'S FUCKING ENDING! Oh my god, his fucking ending is either selling his soul and the souls of seven thousand innocent people to not get a fucking sunburn. OR being banished back into the shadows and releasing seven thousand feral spawn into the world-- because yeah that sounds like a fucking good idea. Even if you don't release them, you have a choice between leaving them behind to rot or fucking killing them, but in this instance, their lives really would have been for nothing. By the end of this questline (and it is beautifully acted I'll give it that) I just sat there with a pit in my stomach feeling like I fucked up somehow no matter what ending I chose. To top it off, I learned that we don't even get any information at the end about how our choices affect the world after! What the hell!

Even Wyll's quest! Why the fuck an "I" of all people making this choice for him?! Where the fuck is the option to make him choose, or even ask him what he thinks/wants. In fact, where is the option to make anyone choose for themselves? Only Shadowheart (I found) really has one during her quest.

I find it really hard to believe that one could write such complex characters with strong, differing, opinions--so strong that they will leave the party if they dislike your actions too much--but then make them rely on the PC to make the most important decisions in their fucking lives. This is such fucking lazy writing and a cop-out. All of the conversations, all of the growth, really is just boiled down to "What do you as the player want for them?" *feral scream*

More than this, why the hell are there only two (maybe three at the max) options in the first place? You give us dozens of ways to resolve quests in acts 1 and 2, and yet, here is where you want to pull the "Life isn't all sunshine and rainbows, everyone has to lose something to gain something in return" bullshit? What the hell, Larian!

Don't get me wrong. I'm a writer. I get that narrative. But not here. Not in a game like this. In a game like this, these "choices" feel like a slap in the face. This is DND, there are always more than two to three ways to solve something.

I know there are limitations. I know this doesn't have a DM who can make adjustments to the story on the fly to give an ending based purely on your choices. Even so, it is still highly disappointing (even more so for someone who plays DND and is a DM). I was so mad after these questline conclusions that it soured my playthrough. I don't want to finish this campaign because what's the point when I know the people I've spent 100 hours with, are going to get the short end of the stick no matter what I choose.

I went and looked at spoilers for the main story ending after this, and that just pissed me off more. Two or three endings and a piss-poor epilogue are what we get. Not even credit slides to let us know how our choices actually affected the world in the end. Why. Why. I don't even want to mention how dirty they did Astarion. That wasn't funny. Just fucking sad.

This game is overall a 10/10 for me when it comes to acts 1 and 2. It's fantastic. But Act 3 is a solid 2/10 for me, I'm sorry. There isn't enough content to fill the third act out either. I don't know if my game is bugged, but I can barely find any quests outside of what's picked up in Acts 1 and 2 and it's making running around the city seem aimless.

In conclusion, I'm mad and sad. At this point, I'm just going to replay acts 1 and 2 until this supposed Definitive Edition Larian is apparently good at putting out for their games irons out these inconsistencies, hopefully. (This post is just about companions, I also have many issues with the main story. *sigh*)

At least there is plenty of content in the first two acts to keep one busy, and even with 100 hours, I know I haven't seen everything. I'm also curious to know if my perspective of the third act will change with the Dark Urge, as I've heard good things about them being closer connected to the plot.

Who knows, we'll see.

Lol, this isn't how I expected to come back to this blog. If you've made it this far, thank you for listening to my rant.

Final disclaimer: Please remember this isn't about "good" vs "evil" endings. Also, if this is not at all how you felt, I'm glad you had a better experience than I did lol.

Alright, time to go write AU/homebrew fanfiction.

Stay tuned. ;)

[mdhwrites]

Do you think flapjack's death was pointless? I don't mean that his sacrifice didn't work, but did it really have to happen? Cause it always made me mad.

The main reason he died was because Belos managed to survive the Colector's SMACK DOWN, and infiltrate in the human world. And he did nothing there till he possessed Hunter. Did THAT have to happen? Besides giving Hunter more torments I don't see it necessary, he could've stayed in the BI playing dead, be more prepared like this for when the gang comes back.

Congrats. You got me to watch like ten minutes of S3 because I wanted to include potential changes to Hunter's arc or abuse allegories, etc. like that in this.

If you want to see the rage I got from it, go check my Twitter where I'm usually more unhinged than on here. Just... I can see why I got the impression people weren't impressed with the first special.

Anyways, onto the actual topic: So Belos coming back is as much a structural thing than anything else while both him and Flapjack also serve narrative purposes. Weirdly enough, Belos serves the more important ones than the character who DIES. So, like with Vee and Caleb, let's establish narrative goals.

Special 1 was always going to be about getting back to the Boiling Isles. From when they were first announced post King's Tide, I claimed the structure would be Act 1: Get back to the Isles, Act 2: Prepare to fight the Collector/the return to the Isles and Act 3: Confrontation and resolution. So narrative goal number one, above anything else, is getting back to the Isles because it's a natural end point for an act/episode, they don't have the time to spend two specials in the human realm but there is a problem.

The show decided that witches don't lose their magic in the human realm. Only Luz does. So you have three of the strongest magic users of their ages, perhaps on the Isles, in a world without magic at full power if they so desired. And Hunter but Hunter's never allowed to be impressive in anyway when it comes to his skill set. This presents a problem for an adventure like TOH because... What do you have oppose them in the human realm? They have no villains setup, no government presence like Amphibia did, no time to set things up and you've made your characters too powerful for the majority of threats in the magical realm, let alone the human realm.

So instead, Belos serves the structural role of giving the first special an opponent to fight. In theory. This is actually done really poorly. While Hunter's possession and worries in the episode elongate this a bit, the actual opposition to Belos is brief and so rushed as to lack weight. He shows up, show's he's an overconfident idiot for some reason instead of actually just killing Luz because dumb villains are good villains I guess? Then after a bit of fighting where Belos pretty succinctly wins, he hurts Flapjack, that finally gets Hunter to properly rebel against the control, save Hunter, Belos exits Hunter, opens the portal and leaves. All of this happens in like... the span of five minutes because I only watched like ten minutes of the episode.

That's not a lot of time to put it mildly. Worse yet is Belos leaving. Him winning in Hunter's body actually makes sense because the Hexide crew appeared to be losing pretty hard when it was all five of them back in King's Tide and Belos doesn't appear to have actually been weakened by being almost killed by the Collector. Which, yes, is a problem, Monster Belos magic wise is ALL problems but that's a different blog. The bigger issue is with the fact that no one else dies in that fight.

Belos won. Belos proved he has nothing to fear from these kids. So, instead of, you know, finishing the job, he claims he's doing this for their souls (despite most of them being witches) smashes the vile against a stone arch and successfully makes a portal to the demon realm.

Without any other items, tech, magic or anything, just... makes a portal door... by smashing Titan Blood...

*SCREAMS INCOHERENTLY*

I'm back. Anyways, the point of covering all of that is A: to demonstrate how pointedly he existed just for this moment and a fight, since once that role was done he moved onto B: the second narrative role Belos gave them: A way back through the portal. After all, they didn't have the mouse, probably didn't have Philip's journal and Luz's first version of the portal didn't work. Them actually managing to create a way back to the Isles would have been forced and contrived almost no matter what with the time they had, and it still is with the simple question of why the fuck the Titan Blood was there and every follow up question to any attempt at an explanation for it, but Belos at least has the claim of having done this a couple times already. Honestly, I expected them to use the fact that Gus blipped into Belos' mind but just having Belos do it in theory works.

It fails of course because it breaks everything we've ever seen about the portal doors before and we have no real reason to think this archway, which should have eroded and been damaged by four hundred years of neglect in theory, should be enough to make the portal work. Bare minimum, we have no reason to think it should have successfully linked the worlds like it did. Worse yet is that you can't claim that Belos did something inside of it because the portal in King's Tide immediately is tied between worlds so it appears to be something you do during creation.

Or fuck it because we don't have an actual answer, never did and we sure as shit don't have time now. Instead, Belos makes it and leaves for no reason other than I guess he decided he had better things to do than kill these kids who have stopped him once and almost stopped him again.

Which finally brings us to Flapjack. Now... Let's ignore anything to be said about how ruinous it is to the possible disability allegory the show had available to Hunter. Hunter's disability never mattered in the first place. This isn't even just questioning how much it shaped him but more that his skillset isn't of a fighter who learned to make do without magic. The show makes sure that he always had magic and when he didn't, he was always portrayed as easily beat, made a fool of, etc. like that minus one moment in Hunting Palisman. That's it.

No, let's instead focus on the fact that it feels like it's meant to be a shock death and not much else. A moment where you prove just how evil the mass murdering, genocidal villain is by having them kill one of the protagonist's friends. Of course, kid's show, so one of theirs pets will have to do.

It's even framed the same way any death like that is. Everyone is powerless to do anything, the last person standing is trying in vain to do something against an overwhelming threat and things are proven to be FO SHO REAL AND SERIOUS through their murder. One liner like Belos' not necessary but pretty common.

To be fair, this does allow for a good moment as to when Hunter is theoretically moved to start fighting back against Belos which is a pretty classic trope. I wish Hunter's speech was less self centered and less about all the good perks of being a good guy and instead renouncing what he'd done, who he was and the morals that Belos had inflicted on him. Remember, it's "I don't want to be a part of the EC" and only stopping Belos from hurting more people. This is why it doesn't change my opinion of Hunter's arc because I don't see much real change in his morality. The only thing that has changed is that if it meant proving himself to Luz, he'd still murder anyone she considered bad and that's not good character growth. Remember, chasing after Belos was even motivated by the need to prove he wasn't crazy and make Luz believe him.

So Flapjack's death barely works for making Belos seem anymore threatening because he ditches the chance to kill the rest and was already supremely evil, failed to fix Hunter's character arc despite this episode deciding Hunter needed a big arc finish moment (and still fucked it up)... What was the point of the death?

I don't really know. The worst part of it to me besides the disability allegory issues is that it ends with Hunter gaining magic the same way Belos did. The only reason Hunter doesn't now have a monster bird form or a curse is that he was given the magic. But otherwise, we can presume Belos likely gained magic by eating Palisman, that those juices that come out of them can give magic, and that's how Hunter gets his.

And for cheap angst, despite it not changing anything really or having a major impact on things, unless tomorrow proves me wrong, they chose to do this with Flapjack's death. Because drama and WoUlD oThEr KiD's ShOwS dO tHi- Marcy's stabbing was more dramatic and the situation that put her in was more narratively important, regardless of how messily it was handled.

And I think people felt that. I heard people saying that the second special, despite the fact that from an outside perspective it sounds like 90% filler, was better than the first. Almost across the board that was the opinion I'd heard. And, well, between what I watched and what I've seen through Twitter... I'm not surprised.

And at some point, it's not just the shortening's fault. The shortening is going to make things feel rushed. They don't need to feel lazy for that though or feel cheap and/or mean. This is pretty much the same thing I've been saying about Luz since Yesterday's Lie though and the show has never seemed to be worried that.

So why worry with a disposable pet and the villain who really should not have been the final villain? =========

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead, If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

And finally a Twitter you can follow too!

[comicbookhyperfixationtime]

Uncanny X-Men #195- It Was a Dark and Stormy Night

Last Issue Recap: A routine stakeout on Juggernaut turned nasty when Nimrod showed up and started blasting. He was barely driven off thanks to a clutch move by Rogue, but the X-men's decision to let Juggey go without a fight has landed them in even hotter water with the public. Meanwhile, Ruskies are scheming and Storm's off in Africa.

This cover is so amazingly dumb and beautiful and I love it. Like, its literally Wolverine about to murder a child. Everyone's expression is gold. Of course its a fakeout, Wolverine isn't going to murder a child this issue, but I'll be damned if its not effective at grabbing my attention. I vaguely recognize these kids from a Thor comic from the same era they should up in but I'll be damned if I remember a thing about them. I guess Marvel was pushing them really hard at the time. Edit: after doing some research I have discovered the Power Pack was actually created by one of the Marvel comics editors, which explains a lot about their seeming omnipresence.

The opening narration gives a brief summation of who these little rascals are (they are called Power Pack, a quartet of siblings who were given powers by a dying alien Green Lantern style) which explains them I guess but also doesn't explain them at all.

We see the Power Pack in bed with their parents, awoken by the sound of thunder. Because, its a Dark and Stormy Night, get it? What a waste of a good title, why would you name an X-men story "It Was a Dark and Stormy Night" when Storm isn't even there?! A great pun, flushed down the drain.

I think the following dialogue is a good example of Claremont's limits as I writer. Even though I can tell he's trying to simplify his style for kids, this dialogue is still quite longwinded and a bit too verbose. Of course, struggling to write convincing child dialogue isn't a Claremont specific problem, I don't recall Power Pack sounding any more natural in the Thor comic they showed up in. But in the Thor comic, the characters I actually cared about showed up pretty quickly. We spend the first third of this comic with these kids as the only focus, so the awkward dialogue starts to really grate. Doesn't help that the art on the kids is not so hot, their bodies are sometimes weirdly proportioned, and their faces misshapen. Kids are clearly not John Romita Jr's wheelhouse, although he's a great artist.

The Power Pack realizes their parents and neighbors have forgotten who they are, and what's more, all their possessions have been cleared out like they never existed in the first place! This is an excellent setup that will quickly become an extremely stupid plot hole.

The phonetic accent is... certainly a choice. It's Claremont in the 80s, could be worse I guess. But more importantly, these children call themselves the Power Pack... and their their last name is "Powers"... and they don't even wear masks! Wikipedia tells me they had secret identities, how the heck did they keep that up?!

The kid's parents are about to call the police, so they make a run for it, using their powers to blast a hole through their apartment building and causing massive property damage rather than leaving like normal people, I guess because we needed to establish their powers. This doesn't really help me understand their power sets at all, though. Also their personalities are pretty much interchangeable, except for perhaps the youngest, so no matter how many times they repeat each other's names I'm not going to remember them. Best I can gather, the youngest girl absorbs (matter? energy?) to make things explode, the brown haired boy turns into mist, the older girl has Canonball powers but with the pansexual flag, and the oldest boy does gravity manipulation?

The children decide that this series of unfortunate events must be the doing of Annalee, a Morlock who'd previously attempted to forcefully adopted them, with the help of another Morlock with memory manipulation powers. You might say to yourself, "but Fix, this makes no sense because if the Morlocks could access the Powers' house and steal all their stuff why wouldn't they have just kidnapped the kids as well?" You would be right! Unfortunately, so are the kids.

The kids decide to confront the Morlock's themselves, rather than try to find help in the city where literally every other person is either a superhero or related to them, which does seem like the sort of idiotic action a child would take.

The X-men, Spiderman, Cloak and Dagger and Thor?! Jesus, these kids must know everyone in the MC(omics)U! Hell, give them a few more issues and they may meet Jesus too!

The kids enter the sewers, quipping the whole time. Actually, they've been quipping throughout the entire issue; never let it be said that a mood-killing sarcastic comment in a Marvel Movie is not comics accurate. They're confronted by the Morlocks who (unsurprisingly) overpower them quickly. Only the youngest, Katie, escapes, but not before being disfigured by one of Morlocks, Masque, who has plastic surgery powers. The damage to her face is hidden from us and from the way Masque's fingers stick to Katie's flesh in a previous panel like it's hot play-dough, it must be pretty nasty. I kind of enjoyed the brief body horror here, its definitely an interesting idea, I want to see Masque again used to her full potential.

Exactly my reaction if some stranger approached me talking like that.

We finally cut to the X-Mansion and Kitty having her morning breakfast/midnight snack, where its revealed she apparently does some work for the Power Pack's father. Not sure if she's a student assistant or an intern or what have you, especially since she's supposed to be a highschooler, but it doesn't matter because this will never come up again!

She living my life fr fr. Love the little detail of the milk missing the bowl.

We finally get a reveal for what Masque did to Katie's face and I'm going to be honest it really doesn't look that bad. Nowhere near as horrifying as Kitty's mullet.

Kitty and some of the other of the X-men rescue Katie. Not Nightcrawler, though "he's on another mission." Boooooo. I might as well just stop reading. Unfortunately, my completionist tendencies urge me onward, although I expect the next issue to be a totally Nightcrawler-centric or I'm going to write a letter to the editor.

Rachel recaps the first half of the issue via telepathy for the X-men, who vow to help the little tyke.

No she's fucking not, she was literally introduced kidnapping torturing and attempting to rape Angel! I seriously don't get how the X-men manage to gloss over that in all of her subsequent appearances, or why she's ever written as remotely sympathetic (aside from the fact Claremont wants to get stepped on). I'd put her on par with Mastermind for deplorable levels.

Kitty is unanimously elected Team Leader. You got to love a team of people so dysfunctional that the teenager is their current most competent member. This does explain why the best boy has been so unceremoniously left out this week, as Nightcrawler probably wouldn't enact a plan as boneheaded as "rush head-on into Morlock territory with one of the children you're trying to rescue. I can't blame her, though, she is literally a child.

We get a cute little character moment where Wolverine comforts and bonds with a scared Katie that I kind of mentally glossed over because I don't care. It's not that it's poorly written or anything (although it is longwinded), its just I'm really not invested in these kids we never met and their emotional struggles I've been introduced to five minutes ago. I just want to get to the part where people punch each other already.

And get to the punching we shall! The X-men find the room where Annalee is keeping the children, and their stuff.

Average College Dorm Experience.

To the X-men's shock and horror, the Morlocks have mutated the other Powers' children to be slightly uglier as well! They've also brainwashed them to think Annalee is their real mother. Again, why this couldn't have been done when they snuck into their house to steal all their furniture, I don't know.

The X-men start brawling with the brainwashed kids, plus a menagerie of Morlocks. Rogue is kicking ass but gets whammied by Leech, who whammies himself in the process. I'm really enjoying the creative scenarios that Rogues' powerset can create. She's definitely the highlight of this issue.

Leech temporarily strips Rogue of her powers, meaning she'll have to take out the Morlocks the old fashioned way, which she does no problem because Rogue is a badass.

Damn, Aang really let himself go.

Meanwhile, for the rest of the team (sans Rachel who just disappears for a couple pages?) the mooks start coming and they don't stop coming, so Kitty Pryde slips off to rescue the kids herself while Wolvie performs gratuitous offscreen violence. She gets Annalee to surrender with a quick "what would your dead children think?" speech, at which point peak femcel Callisto shows up, just in time to be useless.

The plot is resolved, and Annalee finally processes her trauma from her children's death and makes peace with the Power Pack. And then Rachel and her rattail show back up to let the team know they're being summoned to the X-Mansion... by Magneto, for Secret Wars II!

Wait didn't we just have Secret Wars?!

Oh god, we're entering the Age of the Event Comic, aren't we?! There's going to be a new one every year (at least every 12 issues!) and its going to be convoluted and my completionist ass is going to read every single one of them. But not here because I don't want to.

Anyway, this was a waste of an issue. Usually I'm chill with a breather episode, but I don't care about Power Pack and this wasn't really that fun. The X-men weren't given a lot of time to shine, especially Rachel and poor, poor Kurt. Especially since now I'm going to have to speedrun through Secret Wars II real quick just to make sure I'm all caught up on the drama (expect a brief, unhinged review coming soon).

[ted616]

quick csm part 2 ramble ((i may have made this account just to post stuff like this));

i adore all the setup we've been getting in part 2 so far. it is a LOT and its great for weirdos like me to theorize (?) about what fjmt may do with all of this.

anyway. with all that we've seen so far (chapter 120) i believe i have some idea of what will happen in the future.

first of all. denji and asa are (i think) perfect parallels of each other that work flawlessly as a duo/pair. both of them being broken and traumatized teens that have been wronged by society in some way or another, and how differently they have approached their lives in response to that.

denji being a kid who's only really known love and care for a year or so, having lived ~16 years being abused by adults, and only truly experiencing what it is to love and be loved for a year. how his life became what he always wanted and so he became somewhat "selfish", getting to do everything he ever wanted (eat good food, sleep well, go out on dates) and all of it with a true family that loved and accepted him (power and aki), while his motivations were mostly to impress a woman who merely manipulated him and used him, as he felt the love one has for a mother for the first time with makima and she took advantage of that.

while being selfish, making friends and having the time of his life-- he ended up losing everything. his apartment, his family, reze, etc; all of it as makima's game. ultimately, his love for her was the answer to defeat her, and now he lives a life with nayuta; a kid who, if not for kishibe and denji himself, would spend her childhood just like denji did, being used by men with power and turning into another makima.

that's why he now cares so much about nayuta and what she wants. he wants to give his all so that she may be happy, he wants to stop being selfish and give to others what people like aki gave to him. he's learning how to be selfless, even if not in the best methods.

in the other hand, asa always had her parents with her until recently. she *was* loved by them, and even though she was awkward in school, she could manage! until they both died, her mom passing ""because"" of her own fault. since then, we can guess and see how asa's life went downhill, as she lost the people that most cared about her, and was left alone in the world. everything was shittier and shittier, until the moment she fucking died. she died without truly living life, and so, when she was "reborn", she decided she would live life more selfishly. take the chance to make her own life right and stop it from being the painful and guilty bore it always was, even with yoru in the way to fuck her up even more.

what im trying to get to is;

i believe csm part 2 is going to be about balance. both denji and asa have a goal, consciously or subconsciously, of living for themselves (asa) or for others (denji). i believe the path of only choosing to go for one of the two is ultimately harmful, leaving asa more and more alone and paranoid and denji turning into a bad guardian for nayuta, giving her everything she ever wants and worsening her perspective on denji and her own powers and how to use them, making her a potential threat for others as she won't hesitate to use her control for her own gain (wiping someone's mind or turning them into a damn dog is too much!!)

i believe that once they both realize the problems in their ways, theyll slowly learn from one another as they endure through shit together. asa will slowly pick up more selflessness and care for others, and denji will re-learn to be more selfish in a moderate way that isn't harmful, probably turning more and more like aki (😣). and so, they will achieve a balance where they can finally care about others AND themselves without harm coming to anyone in the process.

im REALLY excited to see how everything goes down in part 2, and how much they change as characters for the future of csm. fuji please dont kill them

i know this is stupid and obvious but i just wanted to word my feelings on this 😊 lmao i love this manga

[musewritingsforyou]

A Nervous Tic kind of Day

a/n: Hey everyone!!! thanks for all the love on my first post and welcome to an official posting streak. This one is close to my heart and a little more recent than the last one, I hope you enjoy it!

still with Medic!y/n

2.4k fluff, comfort, angst

tw: anxiety, ADHD, medication, crying, one swear

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sometimes you just get nervous. That’s part of having anxiety. Sometimes no matter what’s happening or how happy you are or what’s going right in your life, you just have days where you’re nervous. It sucks, but eventually, you get used to it. You get used to the awkward conversations and the explanations over why you can’t go out today or why your knee is making the table shake. You try to ignore the people that are staring at you in line, reminding yourself that they don’t even know you, even though your brain will tell you that they do. The only thing that makes these days a little easier is when you have someone to go through them with.

One of the first things that made me realize Harry was going to be different from the other men I had dated was the fact that I was so comfortable with him physically so soon in our relationship. For a lot of people, it can take months if not years for me to even be able to give them a short hug without feeling all uncomfortable afterward. But with Harry that was never an issue, it was barely something that crossed my mind when it came to spending time with him. This is also something that made it so much easier for him to be able to comfort me later on in our relationship. Instead of comforting me by words (or attempting to anyway), he is one of the only people in my life that could see my knee bouncing, and stop it simply by placing his hand on my leg.

When I woke up this morning and immediately opened my eyes to a blaring alarm I knew I was in for a long day. By the time I was dressed and downstairs Harry had probably been up for hours, letting me sleep in as long as possible before we had to go to meetings all day. Meeting days have always sucked to be a part of. Not because they are too boring (though they can be very slow) or because I don’t like the people there, but just being in a setting like that with the people that sign my paychecks and allow me to do everything that I do with my best friends in the world, is just a setup for anxiety.

“love you want coffee or no?” Harry asked as soon as he saw me bouncing down the stairs to put my shoes on quickly. I hesitated for a moment, knowing that I really shouldn’t, but the exhaustion deep in my bones was saying otherwise.

“yeah love I would, just some ice and-“

“Ice, almond milk, and a bit of maple syrup, I know love.” He smiled at me while I was throwing on my shoes. I was dressed decently enough that it was perfect for meetings with supervisors and tour managers and all that, but still comfortable enough that sitting in this outfit all day wouldn’t bother me one bit. Harry of course was wearing skinny jeans and a white t-shirt with his vans because he is technically in charge of everything else going on so he doesn’t need to think about whether he is being formal enough. Finally, with shoes on, bags, and coffees in hand, Harry and I left the house in the SUV and headed into London for our first meeting. One good thing about being with someone at the level of fame that Harry has is that usually when we both have to go to meetings and such, not only are they all going to be in the same building for security reasons, but he also usually gets to sit right beside me if he likes, there is no separating us for the meeting on different sides of the table or any shit like that. Every time someone from management has tried to tell him to sit with the boys, or next to a sponsor or something like that he always refuses, “s’not school anymore, no assigned seating far as I can tell” and then sits beside me.

Today we might not even have to move rooms for the different meetings which would be nice I suppose, though sometimes at least a change of scenery can help with my running brain and fidgety limbs. Before I had enough caffeine in my system to be awake, I found myself sitting at the far end of a large mahogany table, spinning black office chairs all around it with only a few empty. Harry was sat on my left, to my right was the very edge of the table and then the head where no one ever seemed to sit. At least that could help with the nervousness a little bit, the only person to sit beside and have to think about would be Harry, I tried to keep that in mind. Harry first, everyone else comes later.

As the chairs started to fill in and my brain fog finally lifted I could start to become conscious enough to know that both of my legs were bouncing under the table and my hands were sitting on my thighs, the skin on the edge of my fingers raw from being picked at. I put my hands on top of the table when I noticed, at least making it more visible for me and others so that I won’t keep doing it. Or at least, that’s the hope. It seemed there was nothing to do about my tapping legs or my racing mind however because the second the meeting had begun every single thought in my brain seemed to speed up and come to the front so all of the sudden I was left staring into space trying to sort them all out.

“and I think that actually, it might be nice to hire another-“ Harry placed his hand on my leg while a woman from across the table spoke. He leaned over into my ear

“s’all right love, we’ll have a break in a minute, yeah?” I nodded meekly but didn’t want to speak aloud in case someone heard. He kept his hand on my leg to relax it and moved the other up to take one of my hands from the table and place it over his thigh, keeping them there together so that my movement was restricted. If anyone else had tried this I would have either gone straight into a panic attack or would have more likely screamed at them for being an imbecile. But not Harry. For some reason, he can do barely anything but place a large tattooed hand on me and that’s all it takes for me to be cured. He’s my miracle worker.

“Alright, we’ll break for some lunch and all meet back here around 1:30, sound good?” There was a mumbling agreement and all but two of the black office chairs spun around as people got up and left to go get lunch or use the bathroom in the short little break they had given us from their incessant talking.

“What's going on, love? Ye’ tappin’ so fast you’d be fit for a marathon.” He laughed a little making his tone more lighthearted but I could still see the concern in his eyes.

“I don't know, just having one of those days.” We spun our chairs a little away from the table once everyone else had left the room, both of his hands were on my legs and he was letting mine fidget with the rings on his tanned hands while we spoke.

“something upset ya?” I kept my vision on his little cross.

“no, I just feel so fidgety today, like I can’t stop moving or something. I’m not even that nervous, I’m just frustrated.” He took one hand away from my leg to place it on my chin and lift my head so that I was forced to look at him.

“but you promise you’d tell me if something was wrong, yeah?” I nodded as best as I could with his hand still holding my head. He saw it but still held there for a moment before moving the hand from my chin to cupping my cheek, stroking the skin there with the pad of his thumb before pulling my chair in with one leg and kissing the top of my head.

“Well, let's go get some food in you, and besides, poor Niall looked like he was fidgeting bad too, guess these meeting days are hard for some.” After we managed to thread our way around the halls to a vending machine and a few people standing around it we ran into Niall waiting there for a cup of coffee from the machine. I looked at him and then at the machine back and forth a few times.

“do you honestly think that’s the best idea?” He glanced back at me and nodded.

“Forgot to bring my meds to London.”

“I have some.”

“you have my meds? Why do you have my meds?” I laughed and Harry looked down at me while we were still standing with his arm around my back, side to side.

“Do you forget what my job is?” He grabbed the now full cup of coffee and held it in his hand for a moment, losing at it longingly before handing it to Harry.

“guess you're right, besides if I’m going to have to sit still for another four hours to talk about what color we want as the trim for the next stage I’m going to need some drugs.” Even though we were able to walk around the building it still felt a little like we were caged animals trying to escape every time we left the board room. There were only a few floors in the building that had anything on them but more boardrooms and offices, and we didn’t think leaving would be a good idea if we wanted to keep our heads.

Eventually, we found some snacks and ate them in an empty room together before heading back to the big mahogany table where dreams go to die. This time when we sat back down Harry didn’t even have a moment's pause before hooking my leg with his ankle to pull my chair closer and taking my hands in his on his lap. I looked up at him with a little smile, thankful for all he was doing to help me today.

“Thank you.” I whispered to him as people started to file back into the room to continue our meeting. He looked down and stared at my eyes for a minute before kissing me on the forehead.

“you can thank me after we get to leave this bloody meeting”

-----

Contrary to all of our beliefs there was in fact five more hours of meeting, not three, and I had to give Niall more meds twice just to be able to control the shaking of the table from the two of us bouncing our knees so badly. But eventually, after the sun had set and what was a beautiful day was gone and done with, we all filed into the elevator with Paul and then into our cars and headed home. By the time we had gotten home and eaten some real food, it was already nearing eleven. Haz and I headed up to our bed and did our usual reading for a while before he abruptly grabbed my bookmark and placed it in my book after putting his own down on his bedside table.

“yes?” I asked him as he was staring at me while laying on his side.

“ You need help relaxing.” I raised my eyebrows at him and gestured to the book.

“thanks Bub, but I think the book was helping so-“ as I reached back for the book he shook his head at me and pulled my hand away.

“baby, you were picking at your fingers that entire time.”

“oh”

I sat there for a minute in silence, not quite sure what the next step was going to be. It wasn’t like this would be the first time Harry would be helping me to relax before bed or anything like that, but it never gets easier for me to ask someone for help. Especially not with something that I felt so ashamed of. He took a hand and placed it under my chin before moving my head up slightly to look at him.

“you know that it's okay to ask for my help yeah? That’s what this is, right poppet? You help me when I get scared before stage or when I’m sick. So let me help you with this okay?” While he said it I was looking into his eyes. Even though most of my brain is telling me what he said isn't true, I know that I need to start believing it. So even as a single tear slips out of my eyes I nod anyway and turn over to place my head on his chest. He turned off the lights and shuffled around so that my whole body was encapsulated in his grasp. He started to move one hand in my hair, running it through over and over while the other one did calculated circles on my back. After a few minutes of doing that in silence, he could feel my body start to tense up as I got fidgety from the lack of movement.

“shhh, don’t pay attention to it, okay? Just pay attention to me.” The hand on my back went to doing larger and slower circles with a little more pressure, every single touch taking a second of my attention away from the itching feeling I had to move.

“It'll pass baby, just give it a second.” He spoke softly and almost directly in my ear. Eventually, whether from his iron grip on my body, forcing me to stay still, or the sound of his familiar voice, my eyes started to flutter close.

“Let it happen, love, I’m right here, nothings going to go wrong” he kept speaking and rubbing my back while my eyes closed, the dark only getting marginally more so from my head being pressed into his chest. I know he kept speaking after I closed my eyes but I only heard a few words here and there.

“Sleep, I’m not going anywhere, you’ll be just fine.”

[blubbly-pizza]

I watched - V/H/S [2/94/99/85/Beyond] - 2021-24

A series that maintains a pretty good batting average across 6 anthologies.

I'm excluding the first anthology from my thoughts about individual shorts since it's been a while since viewing. And Viral entirely since I've heard too many negative things to watch it. I was going to rank them but honestly they are all worth watching. Except Viral.

Also, I noticed an interesting tidbit that Cinepocalypse, the production company behind the rebooted series, had a bit of change in their production logo with Beyond. The removal of "Fascist Filmmakers Fuck Off". Given the writing of a couple of the shorts, makes sense. I just hope V/H/S gets more indie rather than less. But I will give props to usually including non-English shorts.

I'm keeping my thoughts about the framing narrative at the end of each segment. Since that's generally when the stinger of the thing happens. And my thoughts for 2 are at the end since I'm watching it as I write the rest of these. My favorite shorts will be bolded.

94

Storm Drain - Ratmaa has such excellent design. When that little freak showed up my jaw hit the floor. The creepy factor of tunnels and surprise of a cult was fun. Combine that with the end sequence of Holly spitting up goo for Ratmaa made for a good short.

The Empty Wake - This one makes up for it's depth of story with being horrifying. Having to spend the night alone with a corpse is bad. But everything else laced throughout the runtime kept me on edge. The camera setup is ingenious. I respect when filmmakers utilize the restriction of "found footage" in interesting ways.

The Subject - Body horror? Bad. Premise? Good. Killing a shit ton of asshole cops? Excellent. The design of the experiments was delightful in the way a madman would make them. The visible skull on the sword one was so good. When SA just starts blasting dudes I was having a blast. Points to keeping the horror even while having fun too.

Terror - This one kept me on my toes for a couple minutes. But a point happened when I realized this was definitely mocking. The brilliance of having half of the assholes killing each other and them selves without harming anything else was. *chefs kiss* The vampire design? Great. The lore of vampire blood being explosive? Hilarious. This was a great short all around.

Holy Hell - In general I liked the frame story. The end tying in the previous short and letting two girlbosses kill him was a good touch. Thinking about this as a return to the series, it makes sense that there was a cult following these tapes. Fun!

99

Shredding - I was disappointed Bitch Cat wasn't an actual band. Also disappointed they didn't possess the teens and walk out of there. Then disappointed Ankur didn't make it out. But we did still get one last Bitch Cat performance.

Suicide Bid - I'll admit I don't *get* Greek Life. So the determination to get into a sorority eludes me. So I was kind of hoping the MC would have been plotting to take them down. But what we got was an ok compromise.

Ozzy's Dungeon - NOT what I expected. When the short started I kind of expected the game show portion to have gore and messed up stuff, and the audience still react as they normally would. So the twist, and follow up twist, and follow up twist, were wild. Also hello Trevor from GTAV.

The Gawkers - Would...Yup, after the transformation, you can't tell me those snakes wouldn't be cuddly friends. While this is kind of the framing narrative I'm putting it here cause it ends here? While the first two bits were funny, it would have been better served continuing like it was at first.

To Hell and Back - "Did Fergus get in again?" Yes. This short was so much fun. I know I say that about a lot of these, but this one made me guffaw. Guffaw! Twice. Fergus and the bear trap. Very good bits. The friends bickering. Mabel. The witches. Great.

85

No Wake - Honestly I was almost disappointed by this one. But the end turned it around. Horrifying. Then astonishing. A random lake has restorative properties, whod've thunk.

God of Death - Yesssssss. Okay, as a start. I liked this in two parts. One, it could have played it straight without supernatural elements and been scary for it's own reasons. Just honestly portraying a disaster. But I always am excited for Aztec mythology.

TKNOGD - My eyes rolled at the "Eye-phone", but the premise is so good. We killed our gods the moment we started worshipping the internet "VR". Yet if there is a supposed god of this space, where are they? Then you get the kill and people thinking it's a part of the performance combo.

Ambrosia - It starts and I thought, okay we're getting something terrorizing this family. Then 'VII' appears, my jaw drops. The little orange water pistol appears, my jaw drops. The reveal of this fucked up family tradition, astounding. (very Ready or Not). Then you get the police raid and follow up that she isn't dying? Great stuff.

Dreamkill - This short has such good premise and payoff. Learning that it's prophetic visions was one bit. Then when the cop dies and he comes back, the final vision has you on edge. But the way it plays out was awesome.

Total Copy - As far as frame stories, I liked this one a lot. It doesn't give a reason for the more gruesome VHS we watch, but it also ties in okay. But the turn and reveal and the end made me laugh.

Beyond

Stork - ACAB includes these dumbasses. While the action is fun, and the alien is neat? I wish they all died. Like, you could have had almost this same premise with non-cops but whatever.

Dream Girl - Girlboss! Become a goddess! This can continue. Glad to see the paparazzi bite it honestly. Hate that whole cycle. Her powers were fun, and the bit that lets her be free is great.

Live and Let Dive - I didn't like these kinds of people from the moment they opened their mouths. So it was kind of just bemused interest in seeing where it would go. The alien design was hilarious, the addition of armaments inside themselves is just, sure. But now that I think about it, why are almost all aliens like in these kinds of movies naked?

Fur Babies - The poking fun at liberals I was unsure of. Like, was it that they actually knew who they were poking fun of, or was it attempting to mock leftists? Because they were right, the lady was doing bad things, just not to dogs. As for the actual horror part? Great! Tempered a bit by the fact I had a vision of someone watching this and being so turned on they couldn't think. If you can't figure out why? You probably don't belong on my blog. If you're still here and curious, it's forced transformation. Doesn't do it for me, but it was very funny imagining the different reactions those people would have vs. everyone else.

Stowaway - Alanah Pierce??? Actually I knew she was in it going in from the wikipedia page, still neat, sorry you had to do an US accent. As for the actual story? Woof that's rough. It's unclear the actual duration of this accidental torture, but even being awake for as long as she suggested, 28 years to andromeda, and constantly being fixed and killed? Yeowch. Shadow Time Prison anyone? The funny part is if you pay attention to the girl she interviews earlier, they're not like, evil. She asks them not to take her bunny and they leave it. If she just would have encountered the alien she would have been better off. Either kicked off the ship or in a transport section. But then it wouldn't be as horrific, eh?

Abduction - I was so tuned out of this frame story. The Corridor Digital AI doofuses showed up and I was so taken out of it. I even checked to see if they were still on that train. Even before then it didn't hold that much interest. The entirety of the short wasn't subverting the premise, it just was, followed up by not very scary final section. This exact story is something that's been done a lot. Both in film and documentary style.

2

Phase I Clinical Trials - Good one! I love the idea that if you become aware of ghosts, they start wanting to harm you. The addition of a second character with a different implant is big yikes. Good stuff.

A Ride in the Park - In A Violent Nature but way before! Even though I haven't seen it yet (it's on my watchlist). At first I thought it might involve watching the protag bike away from fast zombies. But this was a better alternative I think, especially with how it ends.

Safe Haven - What if the cult was right is classic. But it takes that premise and adds enough layers and plot to elevate it past that. Great short, great ending.

Slumber Party - More naked aliens! Putting the camera on a "dog" was another good use of found footage. Other than that it was funny watching the gangly aliens always try to be in the shot together.

Tape 49 - This frame story also works! I appreciate when a frame story utilizes being a framing device for the other shorts. The story and horror of seeing the tapes being an element of the horror is a good choice too. It's one of the best ones I think.

----------

So that's V/H/S! Mostly. If you read all of that, neat! Go watch most of the V/H/S movies! Split between Tubi and Shudder! Free isn't two bad to watch the first two at least. That's all! Goodbye!

[corvatrix]

Theories Are Just Fantasies | The Lost World (Jurassic Park #2)

RATING ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

💡 REVIEW

Admittedly it's been around a year since I last found myself adventuring through Crichton's fictional world, so I wasn't super fresh on the details of what happens in Jurassic Park. That's okay, though; the second installment is written well enough to stand alone. It's enhanced by your knowledge of the events in Jurassic Park but you can absolutely read it by itself and still enjoy the hell out of it.

Spoilers below. Please keep spoilers out of the comments!

😍 WHAT I LIKED

This was an incredibly quick read (a couple of hours on a flight + an hour or two, cumulatively, in the car back and forth while visiting family) and was gripping from start to finish. I didn't find myself glossing over paragraphs like I sometimes do with science fiction; indeed, I almost hesitate to label this sci-fi because it's so character driven and spends very little time on the intricacies of InGen's meddling, or Dodgson's ultimate plan, or Malcolm's chaos theory. I would've liked to read more into that, honestly.

The book's pacing is breakneck; once you start, you won't want to stop. Even the setup of the dilemma (Levine returning to Costa Rica and Malcom & Co. following to save him) seems fun and fast-paced as we unravel the mystery of what's happening despite already knowing what's going down (seriously, how does Crichton pull that off?) on Isla Sorna. We're invested in the characters from the jump and understand what's at stake--and feel the tension almost immediately.

Also, Ian Malcolm on morphine is an absolute treasure.

💩 WHAT I DISLIKED

Having the perspective of younger children again (a boy, Arby, and a girl, Kelly) helped make the science feel a little more accessible as a layman; however, having similar players to the first novel (two male scientists, a male bodyguard-type, a female scientist, and two kiddos) made this iteration feel very similar to the first book in a not-great way. I also cringed a bit at Sarah's girl power quips throughout the book (for example: "Absence of proof is not proof of absence. All your life, other people will try to take your accomplishments away from you. Don't you take it away from yourself.") as they felt a little forced and a little weird coming from a male author. Having Dodgson return as the smarmy, no-good villain was...okay, but it was the same motivation as the first book, and I'm glad that he was bait for the Rex babies.

On that note, the dinosaurs involved are...one note. We've got the typical flashy Velociraptors, the annoying (and dino-rabies-ridden) Compys, several herbivore species, a couple of nesting T-Rexes, and a couple of chameleon Carnotauruses. The interactions between our heroes and these animals are always high octane, which is fun for a screenplay but not so much for a book, and I found myself wanting to know more about the animals and how they got there, even though a LOT of the book is centered around learning about their behaviors and way of life. At one point there is even a moment when a blood sample is taken--and nothing really came of it. I WANT MORE DINO SCIENCE DAMMIT.

In conclusion, this was a fine, fun read that got me through a very boring pair of flights and was familiar enough that one could zoom through it without paying too close attention and still come out on the other side feeling like they hadn't missed anything. It is my understanding that this is the only sequel Crichton had ever written for any of his works, and I can definitely see why he would be hesitant to give it another shot. It's a good popcorn book: it wouldn't be satisfying enough to serve as a full meal, but it's great as a snack or a quick bite in-between more full plates.

 🗝️ THEMES

The arrogance of educated people

Survival of the fittest

"You were so preoccupied with if you COULD that you didn't bother to stop and think about whether or not you SHOULD."

📖 TROPES

Returning to a dangerous place

"Ah shit here we go again"

Life-or-death stakes

Will-they-won't-they romance

Smart but callous guy gets schooled

Bad guy gets his come-uppance

[freerangecatmilk-blog]

My personal belief is that capitalism [and most economic systems] do not have goals and instead people are the ones that have the goals.

>So, when I say goals I mean it more in a casual sense; like personal goals. Personally my goal in life is to not have to worry as much about food, shelter, education, and general health.

I would like a more democratic workplace that is ran by the people who already produce/sell the goods rather than the people who just own shares and stock. We spend 5 days a week at a place that can fire workers if it’s in the best interest of the company, for instance laying off workers while increasing salaries of upper management, but we produce the profit for the company yet have no say in how the company is ran (some companies give stock to their employees to make them feel like they have a say but how long would you have to work at an international conglomerate before you have a say in a board meeting from just working?)

The economic system is merely the mechanism to facilitate people pursuing those goals and the classification of a system being "good" or "bad" is nothing more than the effectiveness or efficiency of enabling people to achieve those goals.

>I don’t think an economic or government system should be measured on effectiveness of achieving people's goals but rather on the general health and well being of the people. We currently experiencing large income inequality between the top 1% and the 99% - the bottom 90% hold under 1/3rd of the income produced and are taxed at a higher rate. What it comes down to is that I’m tired of seeing friends and family go into debt for education, housing, and healthcare; we are the richest nation ever to exist but have such a large discrepancy in our wealth distribution that the current system only really helps those at the top.

Now that may seem like an arbitrary distinction, but as you summarized "the end goal I'd like to see is happier workers and more strongly bonded communities", which can be a goal within capitalism to as it is dictated by the people, not the system.\

>Oh I’m aware that “...happier workers and more strongly bonded communities” are possible under a capitalist system but they do don’t directly or immediately provide any economic incentive to happen. The US some workers rights, but it isn’t within the companies best interest to hire more staff to easy workloads, to have 4 day work weeks, to have paid sick leave for employees – some places may have these as internal policy but the cost money and reduce profits b/c you now have more people on payroll, you have some sort of pay for sick leave, you are now producing/selling product for 4/7 days rather than 5/7 days. To add, countries without robust regulations typically get the bad end of capitalism, we have sweat shops in other countries that produce previously US made products because it’s cheaper and faster than setup somewhere in the US. Take China for instance, (at this point I can not in good faith argue they are socialist) will run factories and sell the labor of their workers to US firms like apple – we still have expensive phones, made for cheap because the worker has no say in their workplace or their community so they work for what they can get, the state cracks down on strikes and union reform for horrid working conditions, while Apple can make more.

I am curious to hear more about your ideas to achieve your end goal; I know you gave me the short version, but if you have time, then I would like to hear more about the long version too.

>My goals are in this sort of weird area. I am an Anarchist and a Syndicalist blend sometimes referred to as Anarcho-Syndicalism, I believe we can one day achieve a society that is free (as free as possible) from class, money, state, and hierarchies through workplace representation and Union control, broadly speaking Anarchism is the libertarian end of Socialism; I don’t think that even in my lifetime or my grandchildren’s life time this could even happen.

In the mean time I would like to see more democracy in the workplace by replacing the board members with workers that are elected – it would probably be over seem and regulated by some form of worker’s union that is directly in the field to over see regulations and working conditions; Doctor’s Union would oversee medicine, Miner’s Union would over see mining, Grocer’s Union would over see grocery stores, etc. really this would help put people who are experts in the field, without a profit incentive, to regulated the field. With more worker representation in the workplace I would like to see that representation not abused by those seeking power by distributing the power more horizontally to the workers or other’s that are elected. If there is work that doesn’t want to be done, I would like to find a way to automate it or to distribute it more evenly or provide some incentive like more vacation time – no one loves cleaning toilets but someone has too so maybe it’s by rotation at work or maybe no one wants to pickup trash so we try to find a way to pickup more trash with less people or automate it entirely.

When I said “a society that is free … from class, money, state, and hierarchies”, I just broadly mean a free of labor exploitation through the consolidation of power through money, class, positions/title, and government oppression of the worker.

I hope this helps; I apologize for using the thread earlier to argue. I am just so tired of people lumping Anarchist and Bolsheviks/tankies in together.

Of you need me to clarify anything just let me know.

So I want to know what you see as an end goal for capitalism.

I'm an Anarcho-Syndicalist, in short I would like to see more direct democracy w/in the workplace and a government run by the workers while also minimizing hierarchical power structures (to avoid jackasses trying to consolidate power) - the end goal I'd like to see is happier workers and more strongly bonded communities.

I understand if you don't answer this, we're all pretty busy with life and work. Wish you well.

My personal belief is that capitalism [and most economic systems] do not have goals and instead people are the ones that have the goals. The economic system is merely the mechanism to facilitate people pursuing those goals and the classification of a system being "good" or "bad" is nothing more than the effectiveness or efficiency of enabling people to achieve those goals.

Now that may seem like an arbitrary distinction, but as you summarized "the end goal I'd like to see is happier workers and more strongly bonded communities", which can be a goal within capitalism to as it is dictated by the people, not the system.

I am curious to hear more about your ideas to achieve your end goal; I know you gave me the short version, but if you have time, then I would like to hear more about the long version too.

[valaruakars]

Let’s Get Physical (Part 1)

Viktor/F!Reader || 1.8k || Modern!AU + Gym!AU || SFW (for now!)

A beefy gal looking for a better place to workout, your friend Jayce invites you over to his home gym. He offers you everything you could ever want: great equipment, great company, and a ridiculously hot roommate that might just hate you. 

A/N: Was this (loosely) a request? Yes. Is this about to be wildly self indulgent? Also yes. Last thing: tytyty @sweatandwoe for providing the header that’s absolutely not jayce. nope. not at all.

It starts simply, as most things do, with a text.

Your phone pings from somewhere in the mess of your bed, and you fish it out to find an unexpected name lighting up the screen.

[Jayce (Talis?), 5:03pm]: Hey! This is kind of random, but Caitlyn told me that you’re not happy with your current gym situation. I get it! Those big gyms are always full of creeps haha! I have a pretty great set up at home and I promise I’m not a creep, so if you’re ever interested in working out together, it’d be cool to have you over. Let me know sometime!

He’s a friend of a friend—just an acquaintance to you—but Jayce has always seemed like a good guy. Truthfully, you’ve always wanted to get to know him better. Met him multiple times through your friend group, and your mutual interest in fitness clearly aligned, but somehow the opportunity to grow your friendship kept slipping through your fingers. Never the right time.

Until now.

You’d give anything to have a more private space to work out in without the prying eyes of men who, at best, stare through your squat set or, at worst, ‘just want to help’ by approaching unsolicited about your lifting form or your workout plan. Assholes, the lot of them. You know what you’re doing and you’re sick of being treated otherwise. Sick of paying to be uncomfortable and skipping workouts out of dread.

It’s a bonus that you’d get to spend more time with Jayce. He has a stellar reputation, known for being a supportive, giving person and pretty hilarious to drink with. Nobody’s ever called him a creep, even drunk, and it makes you feel even better knowing that he has a girlfriend too.

You don’t hesitate to respond.

[5:05pm] Hi!! Not random at all, thank you for offering :) If it’s not too much trouble, I’d love to take you up on that. I’ve always wanted a workout buddy and a home setup sounds way better than where I’m at now.

Hitting send is the easiest thing you’ve done all day.

The hardest is waiting for him to respond.

It’s not immediate, letting your excitement slowly sour into anxiety. Maybe he thought you’d say no? Maybe you shouldn’t have sounded so eager? Did he think you were desperate?

You might be.

Just a little bit. 

You’re not particularly interested in joining the women’s boxing gym with Cait and Vi, which up until now has been your only decent alternative. Nothing against them! But it’s expensive, and a good lifting to cardio ratio has always been your preference. 

About twenty five minutes later, the text tone sounds in your lap and his name finally lights up the lock screen again. You scramble to unlock it.  

[Jayce (Talis?), 5:24pm]: Short notice, but would you want to come tonight? I’m thinking around 7.

Before you could move your fingers to respond, another text came through.

[Jayce (Talis?), 5:24pm]: Vi might come too. Not 100% sure yet.

Playing it cool, you force yourself to wait a few minutes. All of which is spent staring at the message, formulating the perfect casual response. You settle on:

[5:30pm] Sounds great! Tell me where to go and I’ll be there :)

An hour and a half later, you find yourself dressed to sweat, pulling up to the address he’d sent. 

It’s a well-kept house in a pretty nice neighborhood. Not far from you either—about twenty minutes when the traffic’s light. Bigger than you expected, definitely, with two cars in the driveway. 

Neither of which belong to Vi.

You pick one to park behind and, as you kill the engine, consider that it would’ve been more polite to park on the street instead.

“Oh well,” you sigh, rife with nervous energy. Too late.

He’s seen you.

It’s not as if you could sneak up on him. The garage door is wide open, giving you a distant glimpse of the ‘great set-up’ he promised. Of him, with a huge, welcoming grin and an enthusiastic wave after he sets down two colossal dumbbells on the floor, thickly padded out over the concrete slab. He’s wearing the shortest neon shorts you’ve ever seen on a man, but hey, to each their own. Certainly makes his thighs look like tree trunks, if that’s what he’s going for.

His breezy, upbeat demeanor is contagious. You feel the part of you that is thrilled for the opportunity take control, practically bounding up the driveway, gym bag slung over your shoulder, to greet him. Your smile brightens; you feel it keenly in your cheeks as you wave back.

“Hey, welcome!” he says, meeting you at the wide open threshold. Hardly a bead of sweat on his brow—yet.

“Good to see you, Jayce! I really appreciate the invite.”

He goes in for a casual hug, like you’ve known each other for years—plural. Not just one and some change as two ships passing. “No problem,” he grins, giving you a good-natured squeeze. “Happy to share.”

You return it easily, pleased to be treated like a familiar friend, before you’re rocking back on cushioned heels and peering around his broad frame. Curious to see, and there was a lot to take in.

From first glance alone, this man owns two mid-line treadmills, a water rower, and a decidedly ridiculous range of benches and weights. Kettlebells, dumbbells, weight plates—you name it, he has it. Not to mention the fully mirrored wall and a sound system you can faintly hear, turned down in the background. Remixed pop music, very dynamic and bass-heavy. The iron-grated industrial fan was a pleasant touch too, grateful for it already in the lingering summer heat.

“You really weren’t lying… This is pretty extensive.” 

Not to mention, expensive.

“You think so? It’s been a work in progress for a while.”

“I mean, is there anything you don’t have?” you gawk, stepping clear around him to stand side by side.

The smell hits you, then, of rubber and metal and some lemony-scented cleaner. Refreshing, if only because it’s nothing like the humid scent of stale sweat you’ve grown accustomed to. It’s still cluttered from the sheer variety of equipment, but everything has its place—like a well kept sanctuary, you can tell. 

Jayce sounds almost sheepish, all in that nervous little laugh that skitters out of him as he says, “Well, uh, I still haven’t installed the TRX straps yet. Need to find a strong enough anchor point in the wall, y’know? And I’ve been meaning to recalibrate—”

But you’ll hear nothing of it.

“Stop that, I was kidding!” You give his barrelling arm a well-meaning nudge of your shoulder, offering a smile meant to reassure. “This is seriously incredible, you’ve curated a lot of great equipment. What’s the membership fee? I’m pretty interested in joining.”

His shoulders relax, though you hadn’t noticed until then how tense he is. 

It’s surprising that he isn’t more confident in the space he’s offering. Makes you wonder who or what he could possibly be comparing it to. 

Probably some rich, frivolous influencer with a home gym and handful of sponsorships.

Which checks out, knowing Jayce stays active on his socials. He’s always posting videos of his workouts and very stereotypical mirror flexes, though you try not to judge him for it. It’s not from a place of douchebaggery—he’s just having fun with it. 

Maybe you’ll be brave enough to post one some day, too.

Jayce nudges you back, taking a step inside that invites you to follow. “It’s free if you’re nice and always put your weights back when you’re done with them. Helping me clean is negotiable, but I’d appreciate it.” 

Easy enough and very generous. You could probably stand to grab him coffee or take out from time to time, as a thank you. 

“My only hard and fast rule is no heavy barbells without a spotter, but otherwise I’m not worried. Cait gave me the impression that you know what you’re doing.”

“Wait… Then who spots you?” you wonder aloud, looking at the conical rack of weight plates—as small as two and a half, all the way up to fifty pounds. “If you lift as heavy as I think you do, I definitely won’t be able to save you from getting crushed, sorry.”

“It’s cool,” he shrugs, “Vi has that covered when she comes by.” 

When you look back toward the driveway, as if she might pull up at any moment, that uneasy edge creeps back into his voice. “Oh, yeah, by the way… She’s actually not coming tonight. Something about dinner plans, I think. Did you, uh, still want to stay though?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I?” you ask, finally noticing a characteristic of his body language that is, well, interesting. 

It’s the way his shoulders aren’t tense, but hunched to the effect that he seems smaller, if that’s even possible. Non-threatening, you realize, and it clicks just how much Caitlyn must’ve said about your bad experiences with men at the gym.

He really is a sweetheart. His girlfriend is very lucky.

“I dunno… I just thought you’d be more comfortable if she was here.”

“That’s really considerate, Jayce, but I’m fine. More than fine. I’m really excited for this and feeling pretty good about it.” You drop your bag on the floor for emphasis that, ‘yes, I am staying, no getting rid of me now,’ in a spot that’s hopefully out of the way. “Can I have the new member tour now?”

“Awesome, let’s do it,” he says, clapping his hands together in that oh-so-familiar, now endearing, gym bro sort of manner. “Oh uh, yeah! We can start with where to actually put your stuff.”

That’s how you find out in quick order that you’ll want for nothing here. You can cancel your old membership without an ounce of regret. Everything you need is in that garage—great equipment, great company, and twenty-four hour access, though you aren’t one to pump iron at three in the morning.

All that, and more still. 

You hadn’t known before, but Jayce has a personal training certification that he got some years back. He mentions it in passing, as if it’s no big deal. Offers to help you plan workouts to meet your goals if you want, but no pressure. 

You’re going to take him up on it, of course. Time permitting.

Throughout the workout with Jayce, inclines on the treadmill and an intense leg day—or rather, evening—with weights interspersed, you start to wonder what part of this is too good to be true.

You come up short by the time it’s dark and you, drenched in sweat and sore to the bone, are leaving with the promise to come back soon and his garage code stored in your phone.

But you see something then, as you stand at your open car door. Right out of the corner of your eye as you wave a final goodbye to Jayce, the garage door slowly rolling closed over his bright, sweaty, smiling face. Something you aren’t sure what to think about, but you know what you saw. It’s not your imagination.

The blinds on a dimly lit far window snaps shut as you move to get into your car. Not fast enough to escape your notice, though you see no more movement after that. Just a steady glow from the windows, washing the white stucco siding in shades of warm yellow light.

It reminds you of the reason you came here in the first place.

You hate feeling watched.

[sweetcherrymoon22]

A Nervous Tic kind of Day

a/n: Hey everyone!!! thanks for all the love on my first post and welcome to an official posting streak. This one is close to my heart and a little more recent than the last one, I hope you enjoy it!

still with Medic!y/n

2.4k fluff, comfort, angst 

tw: anxiety, ADHD, medication, crying, one swear

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sometimes you just get nervous. That’s part of having anxiety. Sometimes no matter what’s happening or how happy you are or what’s going right in your life, you just have days where you’re nervous. It sucks, but eventually, you get used to it. You get used to the awkward conversations and the explanations over why you can’t go out today or why your knee is making the table shake. You try to ignore the people that are staring at you in line, reminding yourself that they don’t even know you, even though your brain will tell you that they do. The only thing that makes these days a little easier is when you have someone to go through them with. 

One of the first things that made me realize Harry was going to be different from the other men I had dated was the fact that I was so comfortable with him physically so soon in our relationship. For a lot of people, it can take months if not years for me to even be able to give them a short hug without feeling all uncomfortable afterward. But with Harry that was never an issue, it was barely something that crossed my mind when it came to spending time with him. This is also something that made it so much easier for him to be able to comfort me later on in our relationship. Instead of comforting me by words (or attempting to anyway), he is one of the only people in my life that could see my knee bouncing, and stop it simply by placing his hand on my leg. 

When I woke up this morning and immediately opened my eyes to a blaring alarm I knew I was in for a long day. By the time I was dressed and downstairs Harry had probably been up for hours, letting me sleep in as long as possible before we had to go to meetings all day. Meeting days have always sucked to be a part of. Not because they are too boring (though they can be very slow) or because I don’t like the people there, but just being in a setting like that with the people that sign my paychecks and allow me to do everything that I do with my best friends in the world, is just a setup for anxiety. 

“love you want coffee or no?” Harry asked as soon as he saw me bouncing down the stairs to put my shoes on quickly. I hesitated for a moment, knowing that I really shouldn’t, but the exhaustion deep in my bones was saying otherwise. 

“yeah love I would, just some ice and-“ 

“Ice, almond milk, and a bit of maple syrup, I know love.” He smiled at me while I was throwing on my shoes. I was dressed decently enough that it was perfect for meetings with supervisors and tour managers and all that, but still comfortable enough that sitting in this outfit all day wouldn’t bother me one bit. Harry of course was wearing skinny jeans and a white t-shirt with his vans because he is technically in charge of everything else going on so he doesn’t need to think about whether he is being formal enough. Finally, with shoes on, bags, and coffees in hand, Harry and I left the house in the SUV and headed into London for our first meeting. One good thing about being with someone at the level of fame that Harry has is that usually when we both have to go to meetings and such, not only are they all going to be in the same building for security reasons, but he also usually gets to sit right beside me if he likes, there is no separating us for the meeting on different sides of the table or any shit like that. Every time someone from management has tried to tell him to sit with the boys, or next to a sponsor or something like that he always refuses, “s’not school anymore, no assigned seating far as I can tell” and then sits beside me. 

Today we might not even have to move rooms for the different meetings which would be nice I suppose, though sometimes at least a change of scenery can help with my running brain and fidgety limbs. Before I had enough caffeine in my system to be awake, I found myself sitting at the far end of a large mahogany table, spinning black office chairs all around it with only a few empty. Harry was sat on my left, to my right was the very edge of the table and then the head where no one ever seemed to sit. At least that could help with the nervousness a little bit, the only person to sit beside and have to think about would be Harry, I tried to keep that in mind. Harry first, everyone else comes later. 

As the chairs started to fill in and my brain fog finally lifted I could start to become conscious enough to know that both of my legs were bouncing under the table and my hands were sitting on my thighs, the skin on the edge of my fingers raw from being picked at. I put my hands on top of the table when I noticed, at least making it more visible for me and others so that I won’t keep doing it. Or at least, that’s the hope. It seemed there was nothing to do about my tapping legs or my racing mind however because the second the meeting had begun every single thought in my brain seemed to speed up and come to the front so all of the sudden I was left staring into space trying to sort them all out. 

“and I think that actually, it might be nice to hire another-“ Harry placed his hand on my leg while a woman from across the table spoke. He leaned over into my ear 

“s’all right love, we’ll have a break in a minute, yeah?” I nodded meekly but didn’t want to speak aloud in case someone heard. He kept his hand on my leg to relax it and moved the other up to take one of my hands from the table and place it over his thigh, keeping them there together so that my movement was restricted. If anyone else had tried this I would have either gone straight into a panic attack or would have more likely screamed at them for being an imbecile. But not Harry. For some reason, he can do barely anything but place a large tattooed hand on me and that’s all it takes for me to be cured. He’s my miracle worker.

 “Alright, we’ll break for some lunch and all meet back here around 1:30, sound good?” There was a mumbling agreement and all but two of the black office chairs spun around as people got up and left to go get lunch or use the bathroom in the short little break they had given us from their incessant talking. 

“What's going on, love? Ye’ tappin’ so fast you’d be fit for a marathon.” He laughed a little making his tone more lighthearted but I could still see the concern in his eyes. 

“I don't know, just having one of those days.” We spun our chairs a little away from the table once everyone else had left the room, both of his hands were on my legs and he was letting mine fidget with the rings on his tanned hands while we spoke. 

“something upset ya?” I kept my vision on his little cross. 

“no, I just feel so fidgety today, like I can’t stop moving or something. I’m not even that nervous, I’m just frustrated.” He took one hand away from my leg to place it on my chin and lift my head so that I was forced to look at him.

 “but you promise you’d tell me if something was wrong, yeah?” I nodded as best as I could with his hand still holding my head. He saw it but still held there for a moment before moving the hand from my chin to cupping my cheek, stroking the skin there with the pad of his thumb before pulling my chair in with one leg and kissing the top of my head. 

“Well, let's go get some food in you, and besides, poor Niall looked like he was fidgeting bad too, guess these meeting days are hard for some.” After we managed to thread our way around the halls to a vending machine and a few people standing around it we ran into Niall waiting there for a cup of coffee from the machine. I looked at him and then at the machine back and forth a few times. 

“do you honestly think that’s the best idea?” He glanced back at me and nodded. 

“Forgot to bring my meds to London.” 

“I have some.” 

“you have my meds? Why do you have my meds?” I laughed and Harry looked down at me while we were still standing with his arm around my back, side to side.

 “Do you forget what my job is?” He grabbed the now full cup of coffee and held it in his hand for a moment, losing at it longingly before handing it to Harry.

 “guess you're right, besides if I’m going to have to sit still for another four hours to talk about what color we want as the trim for the next stage I’m going to need some drugs.” Even though we were able to walk around the building it still felt a little like we were caged animals trying to escape every time we left the board room. There were only a few floors in the building that had anything on them but more boardrooms and offices, and we didn’t think leaving would be a good idea if we wanted to keep our heads. 

Eventually, we found some snacks and ate them in an empty room together before heading back to the big mahogany table where dreams go to die. This time when we sat back down Harry didn’t even have a moment's pause before hooking my leg with his ankle to pull my chair closer and taking my hands in his on his lap. I looked up at him with a little smile, thankful for all he was doing to help me today. 

“Thank you.” I whispered to him as people started to file back into the room to continue our meeting. He looked down and stared at my eyes for a minute before kissing me on the forehead. 

“you can thank me after we get to leave this bloody meeting” 

-----

Contrary to all of our beliefs there was in fact five more hours of meeting, not three, and I had to give Niall more meds twice just to be able to control the shaking of the table from the two of us bouncing our knees so badly. But eventually, after the sun had set and what was a beautiful day was gone and done with, we all filed into the elevator with Paul and then into our cars and headed home. By the time we had gotten home and eaten some real food, it was already nearing eleven. Haz and I headed up to our bed and did our usual reading for a while before he abruptly grabbed my bookmark and placed it in my book after putting his own down on his bedside table. 

“yes?” I asked him as he was staring at me while laying on his side. 

“ You need help relaxing.” I raised my eyebrows at him and gestured to the book. 

“thanks Bub, but I think the book was helping so-“ as I reached back for the book he shook his head at me and pulled my hand away. 

“baby, you were picking at your fingers that entire time.” 

“oh”

 I sat there for a minute in silence, not quite sure what the next step was going to be. It wasn’t like this would be the first time Harry would be helping me to relax before bed or anything like that, but it never gets easier for me to ask someone for help. Especially not with something that I felt so ashamed of. He took a hand and placed it under my chin before moving my head up slightly to look at him. 

“you know that it's okay to ask for my help yeah? That’s what this is, right poppet? You help me when I get scared before stage or when I’m sick. So let me help you with this okay?” While he said it I was looking into his eyes. Even though most of my brain is telling me what he said isn't true, I know that I need to start believing it. So even as a single tear slips out of my eyes I nod anyway and turn over to place my head on his chest. He turned off the lights and shuffled around so that my whole body was encapsulated in his grasp. He started to move one hand in my hair, running it through over and over while the other one did calculated circles on my back. After a few minutes of doing that in silence, he could feel my body start to tense up as I got fidgety from the lack of movement.

 “shhh, don’t pay attention to it, okay? Just pay attention to me.” The hand on my back went to doing larger and slower circles with a little more pressure, every single touch taking a second of my attention away from the itching feeling I had to move. 

“It'll pass baby, just give it a second.” He spoke softly and almost directly in my ear. Eventually, whether from his iron grip on my body, forcing me to stay still, or the sound of his familiar voice, my eyes started to flutter close. 

“Let it happen, love, I’m right here, nothings going to go wrong” he kept speaking and rubbing my back while my eyes closed, the dark only getting marginally more so from my head being pressed into his chest. I know he kept speaking after I closed my eyes but I only heard a few words here and there. 

“Sleep, I’m not going anywhere, you’ll be just fine.”

[dysfunctionalmaki]

To Realize

Main Masterlist

Pairings: Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Stark!Reader

Summary: Natasha's been connecting all the dots about how she feels about you, it's up to her to how she'll handle the situation.

A/N: This was supposed to be a oneshot until... I wanted to base it on the whole Black Widow movie :"))

Warnings: none, let me know if there's any.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆

Your last interaction with your father didn't go well, he simply told you that Secretary Ross is now after you and Natasha after helping Steve, and Bucky to get in the Quinjet while T'challa was after them.

Quickly tackling the king of Wakanda on the ground, while Natasha shot something at him to give Rogers and his friend time to take off, as soon as the jet flew away, you removed your arms that are restraining him.

"Your father will hear about this, and you too Miss Romanoff." The exact words that came out of T'challa, and now you're on the run with Natasha, considered as a global fugitive.

Your father looked at you with disappointment when he mentioned that Ross will be chasing you and the latter, you looked at Natasha before she took your hand and leading you out, taking you to who knows where.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆

"You miss your daddy?" Natasha spoke while driving, you chuckle at her words then resting your head against the car window. "Hmm, kinda, so what are we doing here in Norway?" You ask the latter.

"Well, you've noticed that Ross is after our asses after assaulting the King of Wakanda, and helping Steve and Barnes escape the airport, I believe we should lay low, right?" She propped her elbow by the window, resting her head on her knuckle as she drives with one hand. "Oh? I didn't know that." You replied sarcastically, making Natasha roll her eyes.

"What I mean is, why Norway of all places?" Now you're kindly asking, arms crossed over your chest and slowly drifting off to sleep, exhausted after hours of traveling, without Daddy's private planes, sports car, and Quinjet also.

Natasha noticed how your voice softens, a long yawn coming out of your mouth, and quickly glancing at you. "Ross has no jurisdiction here, his boys would stay away from here for the time being." She answered, you softly nodded and replied with an 'okay' almost a whisper with how silent it was.

In a split second, you're already fast asleep at the passenger seat, both arms hugging yourself and your head resting against the window. Nat maintained her eyes on the road as she attempts to reach for a blanket she stashed in the backseat, after few shifts in her place, the Russian managed to grab the cloth.

She gently placed the soft blanket over you, and now focusing herself on driving, for some reason, she has always felt this warm feeling in her heart when she's alone with you, adoration maybe?

Your peaceful state while you're in deep slumber, and hearing your soft snores as she admires the view of the landscape, she would offer everything she has just to stay like this most of the time.

The thought caught her off-guard, why would she want to spend all of her time with her friend's daughter? She shrugged the thought off from her mind, she knows what love feels like, she felt it with Bruce until Hulk decided to drive off somewhere they won't find him.

She did get sad because of it, but she chose to move forward and move on, successfully removing any romantic feelings for Banner, focusing on her work as an Agent and an Avenger.

But why is she feeling this way with you? Her heart melts when she sees you getting all excited when you've successfully upgraded your techs, how she would automatically smile when her eyes would catch you smiling, and how she feels warm when you're there to ease her mind when a mission didn't go as planned.

She's now connecting the dots, using the silence and peace surrounding her, she got time to think about herself and her feelings towards Tony Stark's daughter.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆

After half an hour of the drive, you slowly wake up from your nap, looking around the surroundings you're in the middle of the woods, Natasha's still driving. "Good uhh... Evening?" You greeted Nat with your groggy voice.

Natasha stopped the car beside the safehouse, which is a caravan and you don't mind, you can't really call your father to get you a 5-star hotel to stay in. "Did you manage to replenish your energy?" She asked, unbuckling her seat belt and you did the same.

Getting out of the car, she has her gun out and you also have one on your hand, staying alert until both of you heard a loud snore in the room. Natasha immediately returned to her relaxed posture before heading into where the sound belongs, and she found her contractor sleeping.

Kicking his foot that is off the bed, the man immediately woke up. "You're sleeping in my bed." Natasha commented, "I'm not even under the covers." He replied, then his eyes trail at you, awkwardly looking away noticing that the two seemed close.

"I've got what you asked for, fake IDs, drivers licenses, and some VISAs, also for Miss Stark too, just like what you've told me to do." He says as he handed out the fake identifications to Natasha, while reading, the Russian frowned upon what she just read. "Really? Fanny Longbottom?"

"That is a legitimate name." He defended himself, them Natasha handed your fake IDs, taking a good look at them and you're amazed about how real they seem to be. "Thank you...?" You softly spoke.

"Rick, Rick Mason." He introduced himself, and you shook his hand also introducing yourself, with little chit-chat soon after the man left leaving you and Natasha alone.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆

An hour has passed it's already dark out, you're currently sitting by the front door, knees up to your chest, and you already felt homesick, Natasha's company is nice honestly, but the feeling of being far away from your father and home sucks.

Natasha looks at you while you're way too busy gazing at the woods, she knows you aren't used to this type of setup, running away from authorities, and far from home, she felt bad for you.

She walks up behind you, making sure you're aware of her presence before placing a hand on your shoulder. "I'm going to watch a movie on my laptop, feel free to join me, I'm also eating the ice cream we bought at the convenience store earlier." She softly spoke before leaving you alone.

Minutes after, you finally stood up from where you are sitting and closing the front door, almost dragging your way to Natasha. Two bowls of ice cream in front of her, and her laptop already on, she was waiting for you.

You placed yourself beside her, head resting on her shoulder then she plays the movie on the screen, lazily taking a spoonful of the cold treat in your mouth, and eyes glued on the screen, but you weren't paying attention to the movie, you're spacing out.

"Hey, Y/N? Are you okay?" Of course, not, Natasha knows damn well you aren't okay, she thought that it's a dumb question. "Of course, why wouldn't I be?" You answered just like your father, she paused the film and causing you to look at her. "No, you're not okay, and that's okay." She says before taking you into her arms.

You're surprised actually, Natasha isn't usually the one who initiates physical contact but here she is, her arms wrapped around your body. You needed this, you needed to feel home and somehow being hugged by Natasha feels like it.

Burying your face at her shoulders then you knew you're melting in her arms, it almost brought the tears out of you, as if her touch is enough the lift the burden you've been feeling.

Natasha feels like home.

You try not to think anything about the affection she just gave, but damn, you think you'd go batshit crazy if you won't get to experience this again.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆

Let's be clear here, you've had a crush on Natasha while she's still Natalie, then as soon as Fury revealed that she is some secret agent, you were so amazed that you started liking her, though she didn't contact after that.

You weren't part of the Avengers initiative, but you did join them in the battle of Sokovia, but she and Banner have a thing going on, so you've decided to set those feelings aside. Which you successfully did for a few months, and after Bruce flying who knows where maybe you can make a move?

So you did, you would jokingly flirt around Natasha, and your father would give a questioning look then you slowly back away, but you were also a great friend to Nat, it's just that you can't seem to get all romantic with Natasha.

Just as much of a playboy your father is, that's all his, you suck at this type of thing, so Nat probably thought you're just a caring and affectionate person.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆

You gently pull away from Natasha's grasp, and she looks at you with her emerald eyes. "Better?" She asked, placing a hand on your cheek softly caressing your skin. "Much better, thank you." She smiled with your answer, the next thing you know is that you're way too close to her, and you're looking at her plump lips.

This would be a perfect time to make a move.

You hold the back of her hand that is on your cheek, slowly closing in, and Natasha is leaning closer, so near that you could feel each other breathing, just when your lips were about to touch hers... the power died.

Nat cleared her throat and awkwardly moving away, removing her hand away from you and she stood up. "I'm just going to check the power generator." She says before going outside.

Her face turned red as soon as she was out of your sight, she got way too vulnerable with you, she almost kissed you but she sure knows she's going to like it but no, not at a time like this.

She tried to get the power back on, only to find that there's no more fuel in the generator, she came back inside finding you eating ice cream in the corner, and probably waiting for her to come back.

"I'm going to a gas station, do you want to come with me?" She asked, you nodded before getting off your ass and bringing yourself into her car, there's this awkward tension between the two of you, and as soon as she started driving, the silence swallowed the two of you.

"Can I turn the radio on?" You asked her, she simply nodded while eyes fixated on the road, you played the radio, and Sia's Cheap Thrills came on. "Damn, even here? When is this song going to die?" You commented.

Natasha taps her fingers on the steering wheel according to the beats, despite hearing the song over and over whenever you would turn on the radio, you still liked it.

Midway through the song, you felt chills on your body, and as soon as you look at the window beside you, suddenly you see an RPG heading towards the car.

"Nat—" Before she could react it has already hit the car causing an explosion, now the vehicle is hanging on the edge of the bridge, and with one wrong move it'll head straight down to the water. "Ooh, fuck that hurts." Hissing as you try to collect yourself and trying to fight the headache it caused.

Natasha on the other hand is in pain and boy, she's mad. "I'm pretty sure Ross has no jurisdiction here, and you should know that I'm a better shot when I'm pissed off," Nat spoke before firing few bullets at the person, you look at her and biting your lip, finding her hot.

"Wow, that's hot..." You spoke under your breath but Natasha heard, glaring at you. "Really? At a time like this?" She says, before heading out of the car when you tried to get out Nat stopped you. "How long can you hold your breath?" She asked. "Last time I beat Sam it was a good 4 minutes and a half."

"As soon as this psycho comes close enough, I'll push you into the water, it's not after us." She says you look at her as if she's speaking lies. "Nat, I'm not leaving you here–" before you could protest, you felt her lips against yours it was quick but you know damn well, that Natasha kissed you.

"I'll meet you down there, I promise." She says before a shield comes charging towards her, and managed to avoid it, yet it hit the car, now you're falling off the bridge and you suddenly noticed a small case on her hand.

You quickly got out of the car before it could hit the water, then you swam heading to safety where the one who ambushed wouldn't see you.

Closing your eyes hoping that Nat would come back to you in one piece, there's no way you'll let her die after kissing you, of course, you wanted to fight but your body just wouldn't.

You can't risk losing Natasha now.

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆

Next Part: To Remember