#i think its from like. 99
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click the heart if i can dive into ur plots and/or opens!
#im like... not even 1/3 of the way thru my reading yet but its not super taxing so im vbing!#and not to geek out in the tags but michel foucault is one of my fav philosophers to read#the new module that starts tmrw is abt 'confession' and what it means in terms of literature and biographies n factual stuff#it sounds mid but im underselling it ! im geekin#and my john wyndham book web turned up today and the cover is so prettyyyyy i luv old books#i think its from like. 99#its almost as old as me < 3
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JANE DOE ❖ undercover r&b
The big bad daddy who cussed you out every day is gone and yet you still miss him. What are you, a bunch of daddy's boys?
#zzz#zenless zone zero#zzzero#jane#jane doe#zzzedit#m:gifs#m:*#zzz spoilers#zzzero spoilers#zenless zone zero spoilers#1.1 spoilers#incoming complaining/thoughts about the quest ->#i think i only enjoyed this quest bc i like jane lol#otherwise it just felt like an insanely long character trial#most of it was just her running around talking to herself lmao#i wish the 'reveal' that she was an undercover cop came more as a twist it was revealed soooo early#i get that youre playing her for like the entirety of it but still. do some more stuff from seth's perspective or smth idk#and honestly the whole undercover cop thing was. eh jaskldfl too much copganda esp with seth's whole 'i hate dishonesty!!!!!!!' shtick#would have preferred if she was more of a morally ambiguous independent party who happens to have aligning goals situation#its boring when you know she's on “our side” for 99% of it. absolutely 0 stakes#i do love jane's gameplay though so i didn't mind all the battle sequences jakdljaf
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dizzy what are ur opinions on chaeya… 🤲
theyre p neat
#i havent drawn genshin in forever it feels like ngl#if yesterday didnt happen yea#mailbox#anyways ive never been super invested in chaeya but its not a concept i dislike or anything i think they could be interesting#ij ust want kaeya to be happy#i remember having a brief chiluc phase tho#genshin impact#chaeya#my art#like 99% sure who this ask is from but mmhm
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biggest downside of not having many experiences or meeting many people is not having anything to feed into the art machine
#i think this is what i really mean when i say i dont have the artist's mind#i like drawing and am learning to enjoy how i draw#but beneath the lines i dont really know how to make anything meaningful#i wish i could experience the brain of another artist for this reason like#i didnt do much as a kid didnt watch or play many things didnt meet many people i read quite#a bit but nothing really stuck never learned much in school bc id always just draw#is this why i have nothing even now at 26 living almost the same life?#i cant cobble together a story or background for my characters i cant make stuff that Means anything#i always talk also about how i fear finding a partner bc my stuff is just 99% self indulgent sanity keeping work#idk what id make without the lonely#i dont even know what to make With the lonely but its all thats here#<- this part is only barely related but theres a connection there ykwim#talkys#ive never felt anything good or bad in either direction...not much to draw from ...#i know i dont NEED my ocs to have roles in a novel but it just gets embarrassing at some point#ppl take interest in talon and i cant put together anything interesting there's nothing in my brain#i cant connect threads i cant think outside of the box#alas! alas#i think its just always going to be one of those immutable things 😞 too late to rewire rhe brain#especially since the monotony and captivity is ongoing.#goodnite ^_^
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sorry i havent been posting i think im burnt out rn
#ill come back around#this is a cycle i go thru often#it doesnt help that ive kinda#i guess ive just kind of grown bored of utmv?#like ok u know when your hyperfixation kinda moves to the backburner#its not GONE its just kind of going dormant#ive been thinking abt moving to a sideblog for a fresh start#because i know 99% of the people following me are doing so for my utmv art#and i kinda feel bad about. yk. not delivering lmao#and i dont think ill be delivering for a while#like. idk i just feel like i need a break from utmv. refresh my palette and all that#so. yeah i guess this is my way of saying there probably wont be much sans art for a while#sorry#skeledoodles#fallout#fo4#fo4 brainrot#fallout 4#fo4 john hancock#idk what else to tag this#i think my burnout will be less bad when i feel less pressured to draw utmv stuff#my brain needs to get up and stretch ok#i told myself from the beginning of this blog that i would create what i WANT and not whats expected of me#but ive found that it is definitely. very easy to fall into this trap lol#but i will try to create more of what i actually want to draw because thats like healthy n stuff idk
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steps whose genders are "regene" send tweet
#if this counts as your steps Please hmu (or like. tell me about them in the tags) theyre the best mfs in the fandom#i was thinking about caine and his incredibly nebulous sense of gender#like hes 99% sure that regenes dont have a solid sense of gender because why would they????#and the cuckoos just referred to themeselves as man/woman out of convenience for the mission#in the au where all my main steps meet up they are. utterly Shocked 2/3 of the other steps are trans#like “you chose to be a different gender??? why???? isnt that a hassle????” <- does not realize there are emotions attached to gender#honestly even in the aus where he Does know regenes that are trans from the getgo (hi mitchel) theyre still like 60% sure its a prank#actually i changed my mind even if you dont have steps that fit the bill please say how they experience their gender 🙏#its so interesting to see#caine lynzal#sidestep#fhr#pulp speaks
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i know ive said this exact same thing ten thousand times before but it actually boggles my mind that we have just sort of accepted "generational divides" and the resulting discourse. generations are not real on the population scale. there is no dividing year where one generation starts and the next begins. the closest you can get to this is specifically BABY BOOMERS. who were born during the BABY BOOM. because a huge large amount of people had children immediately following the second world war. thats it. since then there has not been another clear generational divide and the things you think are clear divides are probably divides between specifically your age demographic and specifically your parents age demographic. because that's what a generation actually is when we stop trying to form stupid little clubs. im no longer participating in the legitimization of these terms & if i see the word zoomer one more time i'll detonate the explosives
#good idea generator#esp bc the most common way ppl try to draw distinctions other than arguing abt year cutoffs#is things like 'what technology you had as a kid' 'what tv shows did you watch'#like. can you at LEAST talk about REAL WORLD EVENTS??? MAYBE?? AND NOT SOMETHING THAT WILL CHANGE#BASED ON PERSONAL TASTE AND/OR AVAILABLE FUNDS TO BUY NEW SHIT ALL THE TIME??#also cant lie to you i just personally resent the cutoff for millennial being before the millennium. why are we trying to pick a random yr#in the 90s. when the word specifically references the millennium. obviously the cutoff should be 2000#'oh its bc they were children in the 90s' no actually i dont think 96 babies are 90s kids#96 in terms of 'experiencing the 90s' is exactly the same as 97-99. you were baby. you experienced baby#i think for you to be a [decade] kid. you need to be born before that decade starts. if you're not at least 10 by the end of that decade#u cant claim it. sorry. you were not a kid then you were baby#if you disagree with this explain to me exactly in what way this arbitrary distinction is different#from the arbitrary distinction of year cutoffs for generational divides. ill wait
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Amanda... I miss her.
But I don't trust a single person to write her other than Ostrander/Yale. Like I don't trust them to do it right. Because like it's easy to write her being shady and manipulative and involved in secret government conspiracies. That's what she does. But it feels so hollow once you've seen her character in the way Ostrander describes it. Like she is a woman who is desperate and trying to do what she thinks is right. She has found a place of power (as a fat Black woman in the 1980s) and is doing anything she can to fight and hold onto it as powerful and ambitious men try and steal it from her. So she doubles down. She doubles down on the shady deals and the broken promises and the violence and she destroys her enemies, and loses a part of her soul in the process. And then some other ambitious politician rises up and the process repeats itself over and over and over again as each time she loses more of her morality and more of her soul and more of the respect her colleagues had for her. In place of that she gains more power, she gains fear, and an even more badass reputation. Until by the end of the book the villains begin to understand/sympathize with her more than the heroes ever will. Like THAT is who Amanda Waller is. It may happen subtly, it may happen over a longer period of time but that descent is a critical part of her character! She is a tragic character! And I feel like every perception of Suicide Squad I've seen outside of the original has her as this static villainous snapshot which is just untrue to her core imo. Like she is not a hero. But she is also not JUST a villain. She is a highly flawed character who is always descending farther and farther into villainy as she is led there by what she believes is right.
#maybe the problem is there isnt as much of a side cast in the later suicide squads from what ive seen.#bc the reactions of the government workers and prison workers are CRITICAL in this#also like. suicide squad isn't all villains guys. its a mix of prisoners and government workers with various moralities who can all general#ly join together in one thing: hating amanda waller#GOD I-#so many feelings abt her#also like lemme know if people think shes actually done okay in non 80s comics bc from what ive seen and the vibe it gets it seems bad#maybe i should go back to the 80s i probably missed some appearances there#but 80s plots are so annoying though 99% of the time its either new gods space shenanigans but weirder or visits to a made up country#obviously based on real ones which are then used for cold war propaganda#hgggggg#but like you can tell so easy when ppl dont get her. bc theyre all like amanda waller (derogatory) when REALLY its waller (derogatory)#(affectionate) (derogatory). at times with another affectionate or derogatory (or repeat of both) thrown in at the end#amanda waller#suicide squad#the suicide squad#dc meta#dc comics#blah#she gets painted as this 2 dimensional villain when to me shes literally like the hero of a greek tragedy#tonight is an amanda waller thoughts kind of night ig
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"claire's a bad mom" claire chose to have her kids claire tells her kids bedtime stories and claire pretends not to be in life threatening danger when she's terrified for her own and her kids' safety to help them stay calm and literally only wants to know if they're okay before prioritizing herself and keeping them far away from danger by rescuing herself i think ur just racist
#TO tag#anyway i like isaac's role here#i do wonder if the 'you do not have a husband' observation from him was the writers implying single parenthood is bad#and too difficult etc even though literally 99% of parents would yell at their kids for throwing things in a shuttle anD CRASHING THEM#i think any additional support in parenting is great but i do not like the nuclear family norm isaac was going off of even if it#was meant to be a convo starter given how it is also supposed to point out a problem -#claire having kids without a husband - that he can Solve#BUT ALSO I LIKE HIM IN THEIR FAMILY?#the orville experience is 'wow fucked up implications to get to this conclusion. unfortunately i like this conclusion.'#like him holding her hand while she's breaking down about ty?#you can kinda tell she has had the burden of everything bad that has ever happened to them on her and her alone#and for once she isn't alone in it? and that does mean something#it does not mean she is an insufficient parent#it just means it's easier with help#and idk if i trust the writers to understand that lol#espppppp with certain stereotypes but i am not going to get into that#i will say it is interesting she is a single black mom by choice#in a way that subverts the expectation that the kids' dad(s) left#but there are still stereotypes about fatherless black kids? so i am cautious abt the idea that isaac is Fixing things by filling a role#idk like you just rly gotta be careful with the implications lol i dont have the braincells to articulate it but#i think in most other media i would be slightly less concerned despite inevitable biases everywhere it's just.#this show in particular and its general audience base i do not trust#.... i have got to shut the fuck up but (metallic) white savior complex#i think i am making problems where there are non lmfao but i also notice a possible issue with at least how theyre perceived#with isaac INEVITABLY being the calm non emotional logic one#whereas... bc she is human!! claire gets angry#isaac's logical 'parenting' was more effective in conflict resolution#makes sense.#i do just wonder. how claire being a black woman. with emotions.#is coming into play. with how people see her human reactions vs isaac the actual robot's approach
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It would've been hilarious if ShawLuna had tried to cover their asses from the early volume transphobic jokes around Jaune by making him a trans woman. It can't be transphobia if it's ☆~foreshadowing~☆
#rwde#i wish i was at home rn so i could edit that brand margarine tub to 'i cant believe its not transphobia!'#the world if 99% of the rwby cast were trans 🏞🌟🌈#since all of jnpr are genderbent from their allusions theyre all trans. to me#ruby and qrow are trans bc i like them#also them being trans would be an excellent way to showcase how gender stuff works in remnant#i dont think qrow would be able to get a whole lot done w his semblance and all so no surgeries#just him and his hatsune miku binder against the world#but bc he's tried all sorts of things he knows the ins and outs and lets ruby decide which ways she prefers to go#god i miss messing around w ohar but it's such a huge project that i straight up dont have time for#i barely have time for the essay :/ thanks capitalism#im literally 3 seconds away from quitting my job just so i can crunch it in time for the election#i wanna stay sober the entire time im working on this thing and the election will 110% threaten that#plus some of the themes be relevant
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i only watched the charcadet poketoon on a whim cuz i had nothing to do but what the hell dude thats sghrcoded
#pokemon#kieran#im so sorry. this is actually so dire#i cant NOT make everything about sghr. im so sorry#shy timid friend who gets left behind by the stronger one#sees their friend in everything and drives them to ultimately change#becomes stronger themself to be able to finally challenge their old friend#loses but hey man malicious aura that got removed upon defeat#phd in delulu🔥#on another note i think its so funny that the trainer was like 3 steps away from finding the shiny#the definition of 99% of gamblers stop right before they hit it big#also every single person in mesagoza not registering that ceruledge is a shiny. accurate. its impossible to tell.#i crode ngl
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ok ill just say this i was one of the “girls” salò shit was being done to in ms like straight up movie style psychological torture type bullying and tbf i dont tend to use the phrase “female camraderie” in general or esp about myself since im a man now. but if you asked me if I’ve experienced it i would say yes for instance in the countless intimate hushed conversation in bedrooms ive had with cis, straight women (same type of girl that was torturing me in ms) bonding over shared madness inducing experiences such as being in extremely abusive relationships with men. So i wouldnt jump the gun on that one. But whatever
#i get that being a type of person who got excluded from ‘’’’girl bonding’’’’ growing up bc of being not white /transfem / gnc/ whatever can#lead towards resentment i think thats perfectly logical and justified. but imo 99% of any types of feminist and or lgbt#for lack of a better word infighting comes from all parties (with their wide variety of individual ‘positioning’ across various social/#political/bodily ‘fault lines’ kind of. naturalizing their lived experience into some kind of axiom#without considering that very often someone who does not have XYZ trait/situation may have been victimized in very different but equally#real ways. most straightforward ex of this imo is the whole bi vs lesbian infighting in the quote unquote queer female community#but anyway . i see very often - not just online but also and especially offline - people being extremely cogent and lucid in analyzing#their own positioning and situations. but then painting people in different ones by the most generic reductive sweeping overgeneralizations#and its like. okay. maybe just give some thought to the fact that everyone else livs lives as complex and intricate as yours. thats all#PS i went on a tangent and forgot to say to be extremely clear. i absolutely did not have access to ‘girl space’ for the entirety of my#life until age like 17 to 21. and even then i was tenuously tolerated as some kind of inoffensive creature that was nonetheless still made#of different matter than the ‘real’ girls#idk. dont really have an end to that sentence i guess
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avoiding my chores for an hour or so by trying to see what combination of path/element we might expect sooner than later.
some fun observations:
destruction and nihility are the only paths with every element covered; no element has all seven paths covered
the most popular path is destruction, the least is preservation
the most popular elements are ice and physical, the least are imaginary and wind
the only combinations we have two characters for are lightning erudition, ice preservation and physical destruction
we are still missing a handful of combinations -
btw i know a bunch of upcoming characters probably already got their paths/elements leaked, please dont mention that or any leaks on this post or i will block you ✌️ thx
#hsr#star rail#honkai star rail#honestly thinking of making a dedicated hsr blog to do this sort of thing more often eheh its fun#im 99% sure i already know what paths/elements black swan and misha are but#just out of principle i wanna stay away from leaks#i still cant believe we have so few preservation characters sdfhdsfhfd#ive been actively using march and preservation mc for forever. it never occurred to me that those are like half our options#and the only rly accessible ones LMAO
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everypony hates me for my complete and utter disrespect of authority
#99.txt#ouhb u think youre above me for arbitraty made up reaons. and IM the asshole with a problem ?? okay detention for me :(#ive been like this i think since i was born. maybe it comes with the tism#but like. hierarchy is made up im not gona play your stupid game#and ppl like doctors and stuff have to earn credibility. im not gona believe everything you say just cos u have this job. damn#everyone in the world is just another person you cant believe everything they say just cos they have some specific job#''did you hear [xyz] is true !! it says so in this news article'' ok well a journalist is still some fucking guy#especially opinion pieces.... ''youre gona disagree with this ??? but it was in an article !!!'' sry yeah i am... 🤷♂️#ppl who take everything word for word without thinking about it are stupid..... sorry#studying stuff is supposed to make you think about it. not just memorize it#aauououagh ''jung or whoever said this so its a True Universal Psychological Fact !!'' nu uuhhh !!! just some guy. you have learned nothing#return to start do not pass go !!!#idk why am i making myself mad about this at 4am 💀💀 this is literally from nowhere#but i think a lot of ppl put way more stake in authority than they realise....#dude i flat out dont believe in the concept of authority. and if youre saying youre above people youre an insane person#i have recieved many a detention... many a sent to back of the class
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I am trying Dark Deity but my mind got too excited to try the randomizing options, so now the main lord that is referred to as little brother in the prologue is Sloane, and I have a starting team of Adepts and Mages and most of my units have been knocked out with star reductions by Chapter 3 besides one tanky Mage (10 defense at level 3)
Should I just restart until I get a Cleric ? Or be logical and actually do a normal campaign before playing with the settings ?
Probably a hot (ice cold) take from someone who has /never/ used a randomizer:
I would recommend a base run first! Not even for the sake of classes handed to you, but for the fact I think it would make it more enjoyable to know the original context of a unit before blasting them to a randomizer. Also restarting until you get a starting cleric sounds agonizing.
A base campaign run let's you get more accustomed to the characters and mechanics and battle which would make (in my unexperienced opinion) characters in different roles more fun and you have thd gameplay experience to figure out how to handle situations better even if you don't have a cleric to start in a randomized.
#moe talks a lot#not art#im 99% sure i know who this is...#and if its not the same person who just went through and liked my datk deity art?#im wrong lol#maybe ill go back to this game.... i miss you garrick and i miss you eli#i miss you alden and i miss you cia .....#garrick wanting to know how far his dad can toss alden is peak opening dialogue#my pc wont pkay games from steam anymore so id have to download to my laptop...#but i think its still downloaded on my switch??
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ok let's catch up quickly
#so i went on a few dates w this guy. long hair beautiful face kinda looked like a girl (good) said yes ma'am when i told him to do smth#(also good) film student great at photography including candids. made a sheath of leather for a sword pin i have . et cetera.#he asked to cuddle and i was like iggg and then i felt Nothing and i was like ohhh yh ok ok yep lesbian#like he meets almost all my criteria but. yeahhh no . also at the end of that date he had some weird takes. anyway broke up w him and told#him actually im p sure im a lesbian (again) and he was like yk thats the second time this has happened to me this week but its ok bc ive#fallen for this girl from berlin. and then we cooked together. anyway . met a beautiful butch lowk in love w her. weve been on (1) date.#have two exams in a few days havent studied enough going to like end it all basically. my research partner kicked me off our research#(expected(it was always skinda sketchy)) which was devastating + it happened in a lidl 15 hours into a journey from bordeaux#to go back to the UK. my friends were kinda busy paying for baguettes but also they heard this whole exchange and are kinda mad at him#my friend of 10+ years is coming over in a few days. my evil ex situationship person that i decided to stay friends w because i kept#insisting they are a good friend and not evil and also extremely beautiful? turns out shockingly enough they were evil. tried to fix them#and then i realised due to their entire friendship group being ppl like me (Every Single One of their friends are ppl they met on dating#apps then led on then dumped and proposed staying friends w) and are collectively extremely attracted to them and not over them they#keep validating the most diabolical shit they say/do to hace a chance w them. they broke up w their ex and the way they keep leading#this poor girl on and making her heartbeeak worse and saying that they want more power over her and want her to beg for them back etc...MY#JAW HAD DROPPED esp bc i didnt even know the ex was in the picture BECAUSE ME AND ONE OF OUR FRIENDS (that they also dated) HAD JUSR SLEPT#NAKED TOGETHER IN THEIR BED W THEM. GIRL. anyway that is the least of the diabolical stuff they said but no we are moving onnn#this was b4 the beautiful butch btw. anyways . i have a mitski concert tmrw i think?? idek anymore#i used to have a crush on this guy very briefly and then it disappeared and then i realised if he fundementally changed everything abt#himself then maybe id like him but ofc i didnt tell him that but i still think abt it sometimes but anyway thats irrelevant now bc 99% sure#even if he did id still not find him attractive (lesbianism). please recommend good overnight moisturisers btw i have super dry skin#right. the friend of 10 yrs. we had a hard convo abt why she essentially bullied me in year 8 and it made me highly bitter but i also love#her and ik things are diff now its been like . Many Years . and shes going to stay a while I HAVE TWO EXAMS I DONT HAVE TIME but i love her#its fine. i think i might just switch into medicine and do the whole become a neurosurgeon thing (which was my plan B) bc plan A is looking#kinda impossible rn. I WANNA TALK MORE ABT WHAT THE EX SITUATIONSHIP PERSON SAID but i wont bc i dont wanna be too mean but also . MY GOD#i had a conversation w a philosopher friend about whether i have a moral responsibility to try to fix them bc unleashing this on society#feels wrong and he said 'probably but...run' so yeah im not talking to them atm. second date w beautiful butch on monday btw IDK WHAT TO#WEAR. she said she likes fems. im just gonna wear the shortest ralph lauren skirt i have w the cute leg warmers and hope 4 the best#its 1:15 AM im abt to drink coffee and start studying bc what the FUCK man. also almost finished watching the boys its very good#one of my best friends is struggling rn it is breaking my heart i want to take the burden from her i miss her very much
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