#i think its a communication issue where they dont have an issue bringing it up in the debates whereas other folks think thats breaking rp

[the-s1lly-corner]

tadc cast with a s/o who hates touch.

BUT when they finally get comfortable with the characters they get soooo touchy (as in hugs ,hand holding etc)

Sorry if i didnt make myself clear

And thank you for your work!! ;)

TADC cast x reader who's warming up to touch!

So sorry for taking so long to get to this anon <\3!! I recently went back to writing on mobile due to back pain from sitting at my computer and it's really done a number on my efficiency <\3

That said I hope you enjoy!

Side note does anyone know any tips on how to soothe sore throats? Preferably not with honey because honey naoes my throat swell and itch 😭😭

This post ended up being waaaaaay longer than I first intended so I hope yall are ready to eat up

LAST MINUTE NOTE I misread/misinterpreted this as "reader finally taking a step towards initiating affection for the first time" and not "they're already comfortable and LOVE touch" I am so so dumb but I already have this written <\3 I hope you enjoy this regardless anon 😭😭😭

CAINE:

I think Caine would struggle with the no touching thing especially since I see him being very affectionate both verbally and physically. That said I do think he eventually gets the hang of it and stops himself from throwing his arms around you for a hug... he amps up the verbal affirmations to make up for it though! He doesnt wanna make you unhappy so hes gonna respect your boundaries and take things slow!

As for when you start easing yourself into it, I think he would try to not make a big deal out of it, as not to risk embarrassing you. As someone who doesnt like touch as well as being hesitant to initiate it, I think I wouldnt want a big hoorah about it you know? But that's just me

He does subtly know hes proud of you for being able to take that step, even if you two are only holding hands via linking your pinkies together

POMNI:

I dont think pomni would be crazy about touch imo, she seems like the type to seize up when you touch her without warning. And I'm not saying that as something to be ashamed of because honestly me too. So I think this is one where you both need to have heavy communication in order to push past that and get used to touching one another ! Team work makes the dream work or however the saying goes

That said imagine you two grab each others hands bc something startles you/you both run from something (be it a prank from jax or an IHA or an abstracted) and you both just

Stare down at your interlocked hands. Experimentally squeezing each other before both relaxing into it

I think that would be a cute idea

RAGATHA:

Just like caine she is so so understanding. But unlike caine, she doesnt struggle all that much with trying go restrain from giving you physical affection. Ragatha naturally shows her love through quality time and gift giving, so she doesnt often feel the urge to wrap her arms around you, much less unprompted. Especially with your discomfort in mind

In the event that you come over to her, maybe lay your head on her shoulder while shes reading, I think she would stiffen up a little out of surprise, before gently leaning her heads against yours. Its nice, its quiet, and its comfortable. You two both peacefully exist like that for a while... good thing you guys probably dont have organs because ragathas heart would be pounding so fast, shes just so proud of you that the adrenaline kind of gets to her

JAX:

I think this might be the main one where there may be conflict.

Not because jax belittles your discomfort or tries to push the boundaries. No, I dont think he would, especially when you two get serious. Like would he probably poke you in the beginning before realizing it genuinely brings great discomfort? Yes. Would he stop when he finds out it's an issue for you? Also yes. Again, hes an asshole but I dont think he would be outright ab*sive

No, the reason why I think kay there may be conflict is because behind closed doors, jax can be very clingy and physically touchy, he would want to lay on top of you and hold you and that kind of stuff. That one ask with clingy jax hcs changed me

I think, if you ever try to initiate touch first he would say something kind of mean before he can stop himself. "About time" or something. Like he means it lightheartedly but like. He immediately regrets it, especially since that can just be so... eidkcmc.. when you're trying to come out of your shell in regards to something

Easily has the worst reaction, make him sleep on the metaphorical couch

I think he would do anything to fix that though, you're his lil bun afterall

KINGER:

Kinger is big on touch, he likes handholding and putting his hand on your shoulder. But ultimately he would respect you and not touch you.. honestly kinger can be the same way depending on the day. Either he hates touch and doesnt want anyone or anything touching him, or he needs to be held in order to keep his mind set straight. Poor guy. He just like me frfr.

Honestly gets a little spooked when you gently set your head on his lap, announcing you're going to take a nap while you two hang out in the pillow fort. Kind of gives a soft and surprised "oh!" Before going as still as a statue. Does he stay put? Does he run his hand through your hair? Does he keep up his bug ramble? Does he pipe down?

Ultimately he sits there quietly while you sleep

Expects that to be a one time thing, but he notices you're slowly becoming more physically affectionate. He outwardly shows his support and pride for you

ZOOBLE:

Another one who doesnt really like touch, but instead of it being a discomfort it's just a "I dont like it" thing you know? I mean what did you expect? Zooble doesnt interact much with people unless they're forced to, so it makes sense that touch isnt their thing. So this actually works out very well for you two.

Just like the pomni segment, you guys are going to have to do a lot of communication in regards to introducing stuff like cuddling and hand holding ect into the relationship and finding what works for you while keeping both parties satisfied. I think in the end zooble would be supportive, and even try to esse themselves into the whole thing. So you dont have to do it alone, you know?

GANGLE:

Honestly I think shes too shy and/or unconfident to initiate physical affection herself so the topic never really came up. Which... is a bit odd since it regards a comfort thing for you as well as gangle possibly thinking that you dont enjoy her company; assuming you never really tell her that touch brings you discomfort

But because we love healthy stuff here, let's assume you guys set down boundaries and stuff before getting together

I still think gangle would have some teeny tiny feeling that they arent the best for you. She knows its unfair to think that for both of you, but like. Its one of those nagging mean voices we all have/get at some point, you know?

Probably lets out a little squeak when you slowly wrap one of her arms around your hand and wrist. Kind of just stands there frozen. Too scared to speak up or move, fearing she would ruin the moment

Honestly I think gangle isnt used to touch (that isnt neutral or in passing), so this is going to be a little experience for her. You're both in this together now, basically

[flower-boi16]

What's your opinion on the overlords over all?

As characters or what they do for the world building?

As characters they are actually pretty good. They aren’t amazing but they aren’t terrible

The Vees are actually some of the better villains in Hazbin tbh. I’ve gushed about Velvvete before but Vox is legitimately interesting with how he initially keeps this cool, chill attitude to him which completely shatters once Val brings up the mere mention of Alastor, revealing just how much of a petty, childish asshole he really is. He may keep this facade on the outside, but deep down, Vox is just a petty childish asshole stuck in a rivalry with Alastor who he’s obsessed with one uping.

Now, that I think about it, Vox and Alastor’s rivalry is legitimately entertaining because it is essentially a petty childish tv headed asshole vs a calm, confident charismatic radio host who frequently pokes fun at the childish asshole. Stayed Gone shows this rivalry perfectly; with both characters’ verses being about one trash talking the other, though Vox’s verse is about how much better he is than Alastor and how Alastor and his medium are getting outdated, and Vox’s medium is the next best thing that everyone should care about.

He calls Alastor a “loser” “fossil” and a “coward”, which is pretty much just him baselessly insulting Alastor, and the “who gives a shit?” line pretty much communicates Vox saying “who even cares about him?”. Alastor’s verse meanwhile is, like I said, him poking fun at Vox for his childish insecurities and throwing in actual roasts into it as well.

Stayed Gone does a good job of showing the rivalry between the two, and like how Respectless does a good job of showing Velvvete’s personality, Stayed Gone does a good job of showing Vox’s personality and his rivalry with Alastor. Hazbin is honestly an improvement over Helluva in terms of antagonists.

It’s still not amazing (this is still the show that has Adam and Lute in it) but with characters like Velvvette, Vox, Alastor and Sera its a major step in the right direction since these characters have REAL DEPTH behind them beyond them being one-dimensional assholes.

Vox is an asshole but there’s actual DEPTH behind his assholery that characters like Adam or most of HB’s antagonists simply don’t have. The only real exception here aside from Adam is Valentino who is the least layered of the Vees. But even then he’s still leagues above characters like Crimson or Stella in HB.

Now, where was I…oh right the overlords as characters. Like I already said, I enjoy Alastor as a character. I like his charismatic personality and he has this mysterious air to him that makes him very intriguing as a character. I would like to see what they do with him in later seasons (assuming they dont find a way to fuck it up). Oh and Rosie. Rosie is cool. She’s neat.

And Carmila too I guess…? Carmila’s fine tbh. She’s a character that the show instantly expects you to care about the second she’s introduced in and she gets an emotional ballad that was completely unearned which hurts her as a character but she isn’t bad in episode 7.

So overall as characters so far the overlords are actually pretty good. But then there’s the world building part and…its bad.

The major issue with overlords world building wise is that it’s never really explained how a sinner becomes an overlord. I’m assuming it’s by gaining a high economic status and having a lot of souls, but like…how many souls do you need to own to become an overlord? How can someone gain more control over the area? Are you just an overlord when you have high economic status?? Do overlords rule over other sinners in the area?? What kind of power over their areas do they have??? What specific way can an sinner rise to power to becoming an overlord???

Ya none or this is really explained…its amazing how every time I think about viv’s world building I notice more holes in it.

So overall overlords are fine. Character wise their good, world building wise they suck.

[vegantinatalist]

why do you think "wrong body feeling" is related to autism/adhd?

-some autism spaces are seeing such a massive amount of autistic children being harmed by gender ideology that they are finally speaking up and determining that autistic kids need to be protected https://ovarit.com/o/GenderCritical/620071/evidence-based-autism-they-ve-gone-gender-critical

-we know that doctors who are giving gender affirming surgeries are making absolute obscene bank, this is a multibillion dollar industry, we have seen their discussions with eachother where its clear their goal is to make as much money as possible and to get people on whatever treatments take the longest and cost the most. they have full incentive to manipulate as many people as possible into believing this will help them and the most manipulatable people are children, scared parents, and some neurodivergent people/pw mental illnesses.

-personal/anecdotal, but when i was a kid there was a school i didnt go to but my friend did and i visited once. it was almost entirely populated with autistic students and every single one of them used neopronouns or believed they were trans and it was very cultlike, it was weird how the school practically only accepted these types of kids and i think they were either trying to protect these kids or were grooming them to follow gender ideology religiously. they even had breaks mid class where they would talk about it daily. every trans person ive ever met was autistic and ive met many -i have multiple autistic family members and i know a lot about what they experience. autistic people often experience discomfort just 24/7 in general, often without them being able to tell exactly what it is. all kinds of sensory things can bother them. being unable to communicate/being misunderstood is a common thing as well. being perceived also seems to be very stressful for them in general, even if they arent abused when young. i have watched with my own eyes how they tried to cope with this across their lifetimes. ive seen them as children trying to explain it by claiming they actually must be dogs or aliens. ive seen them as adults putting their complete faith in all manner of random bs explanations in hopes it will bring them understanding and salvation from their unending discomfort and feelings of isolation and being misunderstood. it is not at all difficult to imagine an autistic youth or adult stumbling into gender ideology and being convinced that transitioning is the answer. much of this also applies to adhd and sufferers of cptsd who are struggling to gain a sense of control over their bodies and mind after being terribly abused.

Im not saying all people who identify as trans are autistic/adhd and im not saying autism/adhd being the cause of something means it doesnt exist. im just saying i think for MANY trans people the root of gender dysphoria is actually just related to their neurodivergence and there are better ways to treat it.

Another example of a similar situation, is eating disorders and bpd. We know pw bpd are very likely to have eating disorders and a common thing you get educated on when you are learning about how to help ppl with bpd or eating disorders, is that you should first find out if they are neurodivergent in some way and get them treatment for that first. its like step #1. or if you know they have bpd, TREAT THE BPD FIRST and dont fixate on the eating disorder, and likely not only will the eating disorder be relieved but the laundry list of other issues related to bpd will get better as well. this is a huge problem with bpd- it often comes with so many other behavioral issues and physical pains that people get distracted and never treat the root problem. i think the same thing is going on here with autism/adhd and gender fixation. its a very similar thing. "my body is wrong, i must do these harmful things because, although it hurts, it hurts more to do nothing". but there is a third option. and people are not considering it, theyre going backwards and considering this third option offensive/an attack. understandable, because a lot of people are religious self righteous pricks and act severely smug about telling others they know whats best for them. i consider those people just as much a part of this problem, so i want yall to know i dont think anyone has any right to force any specific treatment on you or deny you the right to do what you think is best for you. this is just my experience and my advice and the warnings i want to give, especially about these doctors. and im also here on this blog to say that while it is your right to do what you want to do with your own body, it isnt your right to violate sex segregated space rules, those are womens rights that i want to defend. your rights end where others rights begin etc etc.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for telling the blunt truth to my roommate, that shes immature, irresponsible, and rude?

[-.-] < so I can recognize

so I (20) have three roommates, A(20), B(21 or 22), and C(20). We all attend the same college. I have lived with A for 2 years, but we only started living with B and C in fall 2023. so far there have been some issues, and most of them revolve around interacting with C. C has a cat, and they keep the litterbox in their room of our apartment, so they always have their door open. This itself isnt really a problem, but I feel like its eroding the distinction between common space and their personal space for them. Often when there is another conversation happening at the table or on the couch, C will come out of their room, sit on the couch, and watch loud videos on their phone without headphones. Then, they will hear a small part of our conversation, react in TOTAL shock and awe, demand we recap the last 5-10 minutes of conversation to catch them up, then go right back to their video. On another occasion, I was talking with either A or B as well as C, when C said they were overstimulated and needed some quiet time (no problem with that, it happens) so they were going to put in their headphones and. stay in the living room on the couch. instead of going to their room.

They also will completely derail conversations into complete dead ends and traumadumping. I was driving, C was in the passenger seat, and B and our friend G(18 or 19 iirc) were in the back. we were chatting about our parents being silly and making harmless fun of us at various points, and C multiple times said "we're not talking about times my parents took away phones bc Trauma!" like. If you dont want to talk about it DONT BRING IT UP. C could have chimed in w a time their friend did something like that and it would be fine! but instead they latched onto the parent part. They do this fairly often, and it makes it really hard to have a conversation where we casually mention our childhoods, bc its always a minefield w C, as they will make a point to bring up that they lacked the circumstances for whatever experience we are talking about, either due to bad relationships w parents or due to growing up poor.

On top of all this, they also are not financially in a good place. They routinely dont have money for food and end up eating mostly communal stuff. Sometimes when they are low on money I will end up buying something communal just so they will stop carrying on. IMO if they are in that sort of financial situation they shouldnt have gotten a cat, bc I honestly dont think they can afford it. tbh I feel like they pretty much live on the cheese and tortillas I buy, and i'm starting to feel the financial stress of it.

They are constantly making every interaction about themselves in ways that make it really hard, even when they arent even part of the conversation.

Repeatedly i've wanted to tell them that they dont have to be involved in everything, and that they dont have to always be talking or generating noise. That when other people are talking, they need to either contribute constructively to the conversation, wait their turn, or at the very least stop and apologize when they interrupt someone instead of talking right over them for minutes at a time. And that its not our responsibility to help them when they are low on money, that maybe they shouldnt have gotten a cat if they werent able to financially support it, and also that it shouldnt be our (me, A and B)'s job to walk on egg shells bc they have emotional outbursts over incredibly minor things (they do take mood stabilizers and have a disorder that effects their mood, but that doesnt mean its ok that they will sometimes seem really angry and aggressive out of absolutely nowhere, yelling swears with no provocation).

What are these acronyms?

[camryntheking]

Ok! My thoughts on 7x05!

First, i just wanna say that the whole Hen and Karen storyline is awesome! I love that the show is giving queer people so much screen time, especially a Black lesbian couple! And i think its super sweet that they really want to try for Mara! I hope it works out!

Next, i think that has been my favorite cold open so far. The “ITS MEEE” gets me every time (i have already watched it loads of times). I dont have much to comment on it other than it was funny as fuck

Ok. The date scene. I was hoping to see more of Eddie watching them (especially after the stills), but oh well. The second-hand embarrassment i got was… a lot. But i dont think its necessarily a bad thing. It showed how out of his comfort zone Buck was and how he was trying to navigate a terrifying situation. And Tommy? I might have to retract my earlier retraction. Cos wtf?? Literally had just finished talking about how its hard to accept yourself in a “macho” field, then makes a dig at Buck when he fumbles? Not cool. Then not communicating what was happening until he was getting in the Uber? You dont just abandon someone at a restaurant like that. I understand the “you’re not ready” thing, but that was a dick move.

Also, Buck, baby. Sweetheart. Darling. “I look at hot guys’ asses.” Sweetie. Like Maddie said. You are more than an ally lmao. I also just love how Maddie showed interest in getting to know who Buck was talking about and treating the convo after like a normal convo. Because it is! And i love it! But she also emphasized talking to Eddie, because she knew that Eddie would not react poorly. I feel like that just shows how everyone knows how close Buck and Eddie are. TLDR, Maddie is an awesome sister and Buck is lucky to have her ❤️

Next point, the scene where Buck and Tommy talk over coffee. I do think that the hand holding at the end is very sweet and shows how Buck is really trying to be more open, but Tommy is just really starting to rub me the wrong way. Pretty much everything he said contradicts what happened in the date scene. I feel like him being at the wedding is really gonna spark some Jealous Eddie, tho, so i am excited to see that lmao

And Eddie and Marisol? I feel like the show is going in a direction that leads them to breaking up. Like yes, it is showing growth for Eddie and allowed him to acknowledge that he has Catholic guilt, but theres just. No chemistry. It feels awkward. I feel like her being an ex-nun is gonna bring up some issues with Buck and Eddie will not stand for that. I also wanted to point out that i got even more vibes that Eddie could be demisexual, cos he didnt straight up say that he loved Shannon, just that he loved being married to her. And he knows that he is moving too fast and needs to step back a bit

Finally, Buck coming out to Eddie. I do find it funny that Eddie seemed more shocked that Tommy wasnt straight than figuring out Buck isnt straight. But its awesome that Eddie showed interest and genuinely wanted to help Buck through the issue. And the hug? Finally! Give me men not being afraid to hug each other! I feel like this is allowing Buck and Eddie to become even closer (i do hope for Buddie eventually)

Overall, i feel like this episode was great for setting up the development of Buck and Eddie’s relationship (whether it ends up being platonic or romantic). And i am all for Buck exploring his sexuality with someone that isnt Eddie. While Tommy isnt my favorite right now, i do think that he is great for the progression of Buck’s story. I do hope to see more of Dad!Bobby in the coming episodes and how Buck’s parents might react to Tommy. I dont wanna wait three weeks for the next episode 😢. Im ready for the chaos of the Madney wedding

If i think of anything else ill add on, but i think thats all i have for now. Feel free to share your thoughts!

[ravenkinnie]

Youre right about jinx and silco being emotionally incestuous and u should say it louder. I hated jilco fics sm when i was fresh to arcane because it's not fun to run into a gross what-if for my own childhood. But it's real. even if jinx and silco would rather eat lead than fuck each other, they're still incesty; I wouldnt have wanted to have sex w my parent, but we were close in a way we should not have been. It's just a fact of parent+child codependency that your relationship gets weirdly, almost romantically enmeshed. being codependent & a teenager at the same time genuinely screws up ur head. Thats why therapy exists

Anyway, fandom hates to hear it, but yea, it's incesty. There is nothing less comfortable than watching jinx and silco touch each other. discomfort is its own sort of thrill, yk? that toxicity draws ppl in, but they dont want to label it bc incest is actually really bad & u cant shrug off 'my faves are incestuous' like u can 'my faves murder on the daily'

here is my only take on darkfic or proship or whatever discourse people wanna call it: yes, the majority of those tags are not lolita, they are just bad porn. truth is, the mythical ao3 fic that's so good it should be published is just very rare because if you could write lolita or beloved, you wouldn't be on ao3 you would be winning Nike awards. majority of ao3 tags are just bad porn in general because that's very easy to write and most of humanity are just not good writers, that's statistics. as someone who checks both noncon and rape recovery tags, I can tell you they are both very bad and can perpetuate horrible stereotypes and ideas in their own ways because they are written by people and people don't have themselves as examined as we like to imagine. I have an extreme issue with people acting like only these highest tier level books or fics or whatever are allowed to touch on those topics because it goes unacknowledged that this IS the highest tier level in both quality and literacy. majority of people are not reading beloved because an average reading level is very low and those people are more likely to interact with things we dont consider well written and produce things that are not very good. but things happen to people who aren't that educated too and those people interact with the world around them too and they are also adults. I never once want to come off like I expect people to present trauma credentials at the door to be allowed to be interested in or produce different content and that means I'm accepting that refusing this survivors vs freaks discourse dichotomy means here be freaks and I'm okay with that. rape existed before we had language and it will exist long after elon musk puts microchips in our heads that make us communicate in binary code only - and then of course those things we make influence us further too, reality is just a snake eating its tail like this

sorry this was a tangent because I always fear when I start these topics online people will pull me into their discourse so I want to say I rdject the discourse the way it exists from the start shsjjs and I say this all as someone who does have triggers and who does check sexual assault warnings for movies and such, ao3 is honestly where i will always pledge my allegiance as a fic site just because of the tag system making it so easy to control content you see

I think the fact that I always feel like I should make those disclaimers is why it's so hard to have these conversations in fandom or just social spaces, because people don't actually want to talk, they want you to establish that you are the right moral agent to align with. I was gonna say this feels like a very western culture thing but I think you see it across so many cultures actually, that discomfort becomes inherent harm and breaking social parameters is considered violence so if you bring up something that is uncomfortable, that is complicated, you're the problem because you said it. there are parts of this fandom that don't even want to acknowledge that silco is not a very good person and he's an emotionally abusive parent because if piltover are the bad guys then we obviously have good guys in zaun but people, and by extension fictional people, are more complex than that. on smaller scale you see it in families often, this type of playing pretend and not talking about things and then if you're the one who talks they will say it's you who is toxic because you ruined the vibes, you should just shut up and accept it like everybody else does

but the thing is that a culture of silence has never once benefitted victims, and refusing to accept that depictions of abuse and the conversations around them exist in different ways and shades is exactly that, it's a culture of silence that refuses to accept that the world is so complicated and so the violence in it is so complicated. and families can get SO complex, when you grow up into an independent - emotionally, sexually, physically, whatever - human being around people who are fucking insane and they are so wrapped up in your core development across everything, things get messy

also I wanna say. people who say it's not uncommon for grown women to sit in their dads lap live lives I can't imagine - IM NOT saying that physical affection in your family as an adult isn't normal, it's very healthy actually, I just forget there are people who have like. good fathers out there, I don't even like when my dad stands too close to me like what is he planning...... why am I in the attack range.......

[dreamsy990]

so 358/2 days, amiright? heres my thoughts

this game is just. god its an emotional rollarcoaster

i guess ill start with the things i dont like!! which is mostly the gameplay. i dont really mind the mission structure shockingly (i like being able to roam around but having a clear goal makes things easier for my adhd ass, and i think the miniature storylines are very good for the most part) but i simply could Not get into the combat. especially coming off of kh2 it feels so stiff and unfun to play the only part of the game where i enjoyed the combat was fighting riku at the very end. i think the panel system is okay but i dont like that levels take up space. why did they do that.

story-wise, i dont like the retcons!! a lot of the ones i take issue with are very minor but things like roxas only fighting riku once instead of the implied multiple times (even the dialogue doesnt make sense when you change that, why does roxas say 'how many times do i have to beat you' when theyve only fought once?) are the kinds of inconsistencies that just annoy me.

im also a little bit annoyed at the very concept of this game at all. i think roxas worked just fine as a character without this game. it feels sort of unnecessary in the grand scheme of things. also, xion. i love xion, dont get me wrong, but i dont think she adds anything to the series over all. thats not to say she doesnt add anything to this game because shes a great character and i love her, but shes just. kind of like this game in that if you got rid of her i dont think it would really change the narrative so much.

BUT DESPITE THAT ALL!!!!!!!! i fucking ADORE this game. it is genuinely so full of charm and soul that i just cant bring myself to dislike it. i think this is one of the best written games in terms of dialogue. every scene (at least for me) hit exactly as emotionally hard as i think it was meant to. i was laughing at demyx's antics and crying at xions death and yelling at saix and i think thats exactly how the game is meant to be seen.

days at its heart is a slice of life. its working a 9 to 5 its going through a depressive episode its losing friends its grieving its making fun of your coworkers its living. its a game about life and i love that.

this game really did make me forget that axel roxas and xion dont get a happy ending. i spent so much time looking forward to them making up that i forgot that roxas ran away. hell i almost forgot that xion died.

days is emotional and its story and its characters are just so fucking good. the conflicts all felt very real and you can tell exactly where everyones coming from. the way axel roxas and xion fall apart hits so fucking close to home. but god damnit if axel had any good communication skills like half of this could be avoided

its also one hell of a love letter to axel's character. hes always been one of my favorites (he recently earned first place) and i think this game does him a lot of justice. hes trying to do good. he wants to keep everything together he wants to be there for his friends he wants to make things right but he just cant. its just AUGH its so fucking good

that thing about axel's characterization really also applies to roxas. i dont have much to say about him beyond the fact that i think it does his character very well. also tism. hes so autism.

i kind of like the very limited graphics too. sue me i enjoy low quality games. the hands are not animated and they all have two expressions (blinking and not blinking) and their weapons are flat and im living for it. the very few fully animated cutscenes are good too!!

the (real, i dont count riku) final boss is unfortunately very easy. you can just stand directly in front of her and mash a she wont hit you its too easy but vector to the heavens did mess me up a bit. also earlier scene but "ill always be there to bring you back" with the other promise playing over it? fucked me up man. yoko shimomura is once again killing it

i cant believe roxas didnt get to go to the beach.

i have to give this game a 9/10. its writing is incredible but the gameplay could use a lot of work. its just not fun to play. but again the characters, emotions, and music all make up for that tenfold.

[usercelestial]

airing out my personal grievances with this show and this storyline here both to just get it and clarify why i'm mad before i get any saying that i'm just mad one of my ships sunk

1) buck is never gonna get a long term love interest that makes sense because the two that do make sense, tommy and eddie, are either not queer or cut from the show. the writing is lazy and they have zero direction for this show or its character's plots.

2) eddie isn't going to be gay, maybe im wrong about this but i've held out hope long enough and i just feel tired waiting and analyzing. he said he was straight this episode for the first time and we know tim was talking directly to the audience. plus ryan guzman has been blasting the hetero gun for a while now in interviews.

3) if they wanted buck and tommy to just be casual, they should have built it to be casual. including him 8x01 is unnecessary now if you were just going to get rid of him, having buck look at tommy when he says "our people is what makes life worth living" or whatever he says doesn't make sense if they weren't going to last, and ultimately bringing tommy back at all past season 7 or really past 7x06. they still could have dated but they needed to make it clear that they are not sticking around outside of tommy getting buck basketball tickets and buck not knowing tommy is gay in 8x06, which doesn't hint at a whole lot when interviews made it clear they still getting to know each other at this point. that doesn't strike me as odd in the moment if "they're relationship is deepening" still. even if you do notice it, you should have established it in previous episodes, instead of introducing two scenes before they break up.

4) the reason buck and tommy broke up is biphobic. im not going to rehash that but yes, telling a bisexual man that he shouldn't fall in love with the first guy he dates because he hasn't "explored other options" is biphobic.

side note: if the issue is that buck still doesn't feel comfortable with his bisexuality, then i think they missed a few chances to have buck make that clear, namely having him react or correct maddie at all when she called him gay. the only scene i can think of where it seems like buck may not feel comfortable if the scene where a girl flirts with buck and tommy tells him it's okay to look but i don't think the point of that scene is communicated effectively if it was supposed to be buck dealing being on a date with a guy but also knowing he's still attracted to women and maybe still not understanding himself fully

5) this fandom is toxic and horrible, b/ddie is the only thing that anyone is allowed to like and every other relationship just exists to bolster and uphold it. im tired of being in a fandom doesn't care about lesbians (which ive run into with a few bucktommys but still) and it feels like no matter how much the actors/actresses get harassed and bullied, no one stands up for them because i dont think tim minear or really even oliver stark wants to double down on telling toxic fans to fuck off

that's mostly it i think. if they didn't want people getting attached, then they shouldn't have included bucktommy scenes where they were unnecessary. most of episode 5 feels like we're building buck and tommy's relationship up so much. i would have been way more okay with this break up if (1) they didn't make it seem like buck was falling in love tommy and vice versa ie. all of episode 5 and buck's conclusion in episode 6 where he decides that he could see a future with tommy and (2) the reason for the break up didn't feel so insidious.

[triptychofvoids]

First things first, I love your head cannons and the way you draw it's very very crunchable, now the question, do you have any science party head cannons? That's all, thank you!! :3c

thank you i appreciate it!! and yes i have a few im normal about them <- foaming at the mouth btw

you know the drill theyre going under the cut in case it gets long

someone made a post about this already i think and i dont remember who but medic and engineer would be so good at parallel play. theyre both content to be in the lab or in the workshop doing their own thing just alongside each other, maybe occasionally dragging the other over to look at what theyre working on either to show it off or get feedback of some kind. they both find each others work to be fascinating even if they dont completely understand it, and on the occasion they combine their knowledge to work on something together it always ends up being Really Fucking Cool and fun for them, regardless of whether or not it ends up being something successful. thats their idea of a date. parallel play working on fucked up and evil science stuff

out of all the mercs, engineer and heavy strike me as the ones that would do most of the cooking. not that the others cant cook (although i think some of them would need supervision....) but most of the time they just dont really want to, and besides theyd both be very good at it. but anyway engie would know about medics sensory issues and him being picky about certain foods and hed always try to make meals everyone will enjoy. if there is something in a dish that he knows medic wont like then he will either mess with the recipe a bit in order to exclude it or will just make it on the side so everyone else can have some but medic wont have to deal with it.

medic uses a weighted blanket and likes to hold onto things in his sleep as well so anytime they share a bed engie gets compressed into a jpeg. this is sometimes avoided because it isnt uncommon for engie to pull an all-nighter or for medic to wake up freakishly early so sometimes medic will already be asleep and/or will get up before him but still, its like a hydraulic press in there

like i said about engie knowing about medics sensory issues and whatever else, sometimes on the battlefield if medic is starting to get overwhelmed he will fall back to a dispenser and engie will shoo anyone else off to go find a health kit instead so medic can get just a few brief moments of peace

they have the kind of relationship where neither of them ever get bored of each others company and neither of them ever run out of things to talk about. which is very cool and awesome for them and sort of boring and awful for anyone else who might get stuck in a room or a car with them for any extended period of time

medics love language, platonic or otherwise, can be best described as 'all of the above'. hes very affectionate and bitey and he isnt always very good at communicating that he cares but he tries to convey it through things like weird gifts (like how a cat brings back dead animals), surgery and medical evaluation, talking a whole lot and hoping it counts for something, acts of service but he can only kill and dissect, etc. and engie somehow has the patience to put up with it. engie is big on acts of service and words but it doesnt matter because medic saps up any and all affection he is given like an infinite sponge and then tries in his own deranged way to return it tenfold

also. i think shipping these two is so funny because at first glance it might look like medic is the feral one and engie is the responsible one but then you look again and the roles have switched. and then you look a third time and theyre actually both a little unhinged. anything in the name of science

[voidbeau]

I've been thinking about this a lot and have ranted to a friend to varying degrees about it every once in a while since early this year.

On one hand, I don't want to sound ungrateful when I talk about this, but...

I feel like being in a fandom has ruined me.

Or to put it better, I've let it ruin me.

And to clarify, I don't blame individuals of a fandom.

Nor do I really blame the idea of fandom itself the more I think about it.

It is most definitely a me thing, but being in a fandon has definitely helped to shed some light on some upsetting things about my brain.

Being in an environment where you get to share ideas and art about your favorite media- Something that's supposed to be for fun and to find community with others who share your interest!

For me, it's been a huge motivator for getting back into my art- which I believe I've mentioned before.

Up until the twomp Fandom, I've had lots of difficulties staying inspired and motivated to keep doing art regardless of how much I wanted to do it.

So finding a reason to do it again has been great!

I've been able to make pretty good improvements in my art abilities which is really nice!

But on the other end of things, I've lost the ability to just appreciate things the way I could if I was just an outsider looking in?

And I hate it because for whatever reason, my anxiety looks at fandom art as competition rather than something a fellow [insert interest] enjoyer put out for me to enjoy along with the rest of fandom.

I hate that mindset so much.

I don't want fandom to be a competition.

I don't think fandom should be a competition.

Inspiration to improve is one thing, but there's something very wrong if you're feeling a sense of threat in some way??? Like hello??? Are you okay???

It's ridiculous!

But anxiety likes to tell me I need to constantly be creating and making sure it's "original" or "unique" or else my value as a "creator" is worth nothing.

Which, again, is also ridiculous, because I'm not out here trying to "become something", I just want to have fun sharing my dumbass AUs and headcannons cause I want to have fun with the characters and the world I fell in love with!

But it doesn't stop the rancid pattern of thinking.

No matter how many breaks I take, I can come back feeling refreshed but the grasping hands of anxiety and shaky self worth tell me I need to constantly be working to maintain a semblance of value.

I need to work to "keep my place".

And that's dumb.

A fandom is a little neighborhood where everyone has their own little house and their own little garden tucked safely behind their own little white picket fence.

We're not being lined up and graded like slabs of beef.

I'm so tired man. I just want to have fun, but as time goes on I feel like the only solution to this issue is to leave the Fandom environment entirely.

Like No Face from Spirited Away.

But if I lose the "pressure" of needing to create art than I'm scared i'll fall back into not being able to create at all again.

I dont want to lose what I feel like I only just got back.

🫠

It feels super embarrassing to be struggling with these kinds of thoughts personally.

Cause it's like, "bro, who tf you think you are???"

There's so much of it that feels self centered, like it's all about me.

I need to be the best, I need to have coolest art and the best ideas!!!

I don't think that at all, granted. But it feels that way sometimes.

I don't like the idea of comparing myself to others. I don't think anyone should be doing that.

Comparison is the joy killer!!!

I much prefer the variety that a fandom brings to the table.

Each individual with an individual take on a world and its characters.

Everyone is so creative it's really Cool!!

I think it's fun to read and to see people bring that to life!

But I can't fully enjoy it like I want to cause the thoughts always be like,

"Why can't you be like that, huh?

You could be doing something with your time right now, you could be working in that idea you were thinking of.

You could be finishing that drawing you started.

What about that other thing you said you were going to do, huh?"

And if I get working on something, it's still not good enough,

"No! Not like that! Your art style is DISGUSTING. Throw that one away!

No No, any readers who stumble on this will never enjoy this. It's awkward and stilted.

Take it again or leave it!"

Like bro please, give a bug a break. I'm trying. 😰

[spicybylerpolls]

yeah, that underage doubtful anon about minors filming spicy scenes... that just seems like another kind of byler doubt to me, except rather than being about byler getting together at all, THIS flavour of byler doubt is byler sex doubt! Hahahahaha

we dont need that at all!! byler sex is speculative and somewhat far-fetched, and even though I believe it has serious potential to show up in the show, its still the wacky cousin of the byler community who showed up with some beers and a boombox. it's so fun at spicy byler tumblr, and if we start bringing classic Byler Doubt TM in, we're just going to ruin stuff! cos sex isnt guaranteed here anyway, so why doubt it? we've only just got through the gauntlet of the underage issue, please let's just have fun now for a bit lol

also im going to add my own tangential poll to this post: for me, one of the biggest 'evidences' of spicy byler times incoming is that noah and finn (noah in particular) react in a certain kind of blushy/secretive way during press/social media that does not merely speak to me of their characters getting a simple romantic ending, or just a kiss. i can completely understand why many people don't take anything outside of the show itself as evidence, and i wish i didnt, but i just can't help it. cos shows are fiction and made to manipulate you as a viewer, whereas real people, even actors, have tells. im not claiming to know finn and noah's personal tells, but for me, as two humans, their body language does not lie!

noah especially gives off the vibes that he will have to portray something extremely giggle-worthy (and thus spicy) next season. that tiktok at penn where he almost gave spoilers? 'there's some crazy stuff, some iconic scenes in there' and his smile was GUILTY AF. yeah, crazy stuff could be a showdown with vecna or a lore reveal. but would that make him BLUSH???? and it could be *just* a masturbation fantasy scene (would love that for the narrative too), but then we also now seeing finn blushing furiously and flickering his eyes around during press like he's in an interrogation room whenever s5 is mentioned. it just screams 'two friends and coworkers who know they have to get it on on-screen' to me.

so has anyone else got finn and noah's behaviour as good evidence for spicy byler incoming?

yes all the way! though i try not to think of that and focus on byler themselves/the narrative clues

yeppers peppers and i love to see it! add it to the pile of proofs hehe!

no, everything is meaningless but the show you FOOL! (affectionate)

no, i notice their blushing but i dont think it relates to the show. maybe theyre in lurrrvvvveeeee

finn and noah are blushing a lot cos it's hot in whatever room theyre in and means nothing lmao

one day we will all die so none of it matters or makes sense and who is byler?

Please note that the purpose of this blog is not to be creepy or to make anyone uncomfortable. That's why I created the #spicy byler tag (I will tag all polls with this). If you don't want to see this blog or anything related to it on your feed, please block that tag. Not everyone is comfortable with this sorta stuff, and that's okay.

[necroromantics]

Properly addressing the drama

For the millionth time (The tone on this entire post is lighthearted and not mad)

I'm gonna start this off by saying that I have made multiple posts apologizing for my past actions, and acknowledging the harm I have caused in the past. I have apologized sorta- directly to Void (my friend sent my apology to them cuz Void didnt want me to contact them which I respected). I know I bring up my ASPD a lot, but please try to understand that personality disorders are dysfunctional behaviours ingrained into someones way of thinking/acting. I never want to excuse my bad behaviour, which is why I am fully open to hearing the others side. I do fully acknowledge that the jokes I made a year ago were in very bad taste now. At the time, I was very deep into drug addiction, in communities that encouraged my bad behaviour, and I grew up with people who held very discriminatory beliefs. This is my explanation for why I made those jokes. I'm trying to explain how my brain works, because it very clearly doesn't work how "normal people"'s brains do, which is why I was diagnosed in the first place. I understand my behaviour was harmful and incorrect, I take full accountability for what I have done, and I am slowly learning how to combat these habits and mindsets that I have grown up with. Its just very hard to do so when these things are heavily ingrained into me, and Im constantly bombarded with drama and being dehumanized and treated like a problem rather than a person. This is the ableism I have faced my entire life, and it follows here too.

I have mental disabilities of my own (very severe ADHD), I have been bullied a lot growing up for it, and also why I actively reclaim the R slur. But I grew up around people who would make fun of me, and people like me, and the way my brain works is that I'm not able to empathize or feel bad for people struggling with things like disabilities or whatnot. At the time, I didn't acknowledge that it was wrong, because to me that was normal and ok. I know now that it's not, and I'm in a place where (for the most part) I am able to try and consider right/wrong.

I do apologize if my tone in my posts or anything has come off as hostile or aggressive. I have a bad habit of that because of my hyperactivity where I speak faster and louder than I can control, which reflects into my tone in text. I have said numerous times that I'm not interested in fighting with minors. My intention was never to cause drama, but to defend my name against people making posts on me, which I have every right to do after they have spent 5 months straight constantly stalking and harassing me.

I do understand that they are all minors. In the past, they got mad at me for not wanting to interact with them due to their age. So it doesn't make sense that they're pulling the age card now. I swear from the bottom of my heart that I am not interested in any of this drama. Ive said it before, but I dont expect forgiveness or people to like me. All I want is to be left alone, and given space to continue my recovery for my mental health issues.

The reason why I bring up their ableism towards me isn't because I want to play victim, or to turn away from what I have done, or use it as an excuse. I take full accountability for what I have done, and talking about my ASPD is my way of explaining why I may think, talk, or act in certain ways. I have been very open about my ASPD from the beginning of this account, and on Discord. My issue is the fact I am being harassed, and have been for nearly half a year now even though I have long cut contact and blocked all of them, because I have "no morality", and I lack empathy. I think that is entirely dehumanizing and stimatizing towards people, not just me, who suffer from these things. If I am expected to take accountability for my ableism, which I have been, then I expect the same from these people as well.

I have screenshots where these people have talked about "cancelling" me on Tumblr way back in January. I have screenshots of death threats, and inappropriate things they have said about me. I understand they are all minors, but my ASPD doesn't excuse my bad behaviour, and their age doesn't excuse theirs.

This was never about caring about those effected by the jokes I made. These people have a long history of trying to cause drama for the sake of drama, and they have tried to do it with another big creator who I wont name. Also my DMs are open if anyone has any concerns, or wants to communicate about this maturely, I've always wished them well and hoped they would find peace and happiness in their lives as I have been trying in mine. Constant thriving off of drama is not good for anyone. Ive stated in the past Im not interested in that. I would like to move on from things that happened half a year to a year ago.

I have already been contacted by those who were involved in the January drama to get on better terms, which I very much appreciate.

I do not have the time or energy to cause unnecessary beef with random kids online. I have kept entirely to myself about this until they made a very public "call out post" about me where I do appreciate them showing me what I still needed to acknowledge and own up to in my past, but they cropped screenshots, not shown context, twisted stories, and have lied about me publicly on other things. My posts have only been about clearing my name and sharing my side. My only concern is telling my side. Anyone else would do the same with the things they have been saying.

I wish them all well wholeheartedly, and I want to make it clear I'm not mad, though I will admit I was for a bit there which is understandable when I have reached a tipping point after 5 months or so of non-stop harassment that I have tried my best to ignore.

I never cared to take any of this too seriously because it's the internet, and I know more than anyone who I am, what I believe, and how hard I'm working. No one else can speak on that, because none of you know me, really. But I have seen how they have insulted people who have nothing to do with the drama, calling someone a 'freak', flooding someones comments on a completely unrelated video, harassing random people in their DMs simply for being in my server. Many people of these are minors. I'm not going to let them do that to random, innocent people. That is entirely unfair how I am not allowed to say a slur I can reclaim, but they are allowed to go out of their way to bully innocent people who have nothing to do with me.

Thats where my issue lies. Thats what makes me upset. I'm a grown man, I have a life, I can defend myself and speak on my own issues. I've said many many times I don't want anyone to involve themselves in the drama, because honestly I think its a waste of time. If they truly cared about what they say they do, they would reach out to me, and we can talk maturely about it as I have done with some people previously associated with them.

I'm not asking for forgiveness, or for people to defend me, or take my side, or anything. All I am asking is that you stop stalking and harassing me, let me live my life in peace as Ive been trying to do, and please leave people alone who have nothing to do with this situation, and that includes my friends. I'm sure none of us want this to continue. Thank you.

(Also, I wanted to add onto the ASPD aspect of this cuz Ive been bringing it up a lot and I wanted to make it clear why. The way my brain works due to my mental health conditions is that I don't have the same emotional responses to words and others problems as most people do. Theres many studies on this, you can read up on it. When I hear certain topics, or words, or phrases, I'm unable to respond with the appropriate emotions and in all honesty it rarely ever bothers me, because I'm unable to empathize with those effected for the most part. I have a very strict moral code, but it's not the same as most people have due to this. I am learning how to combat this, because it causes issues like this. To me, saying hateful things is not the same as believing or doing it. Which I fully understand isn't the way most people see it, and I'm taking steps to unlearn this view. Of course my behaviour and views are going to be socially unacceptable, that is the entire premise of the disorder. Pleaaaase understand that when you berate and dehumanize me for that, youre berating and dehumanizing people with ASPD in general. There are many many other people out there who deal with the same things I do. What also bothered me was the obvious fakeclaiming in the comments of the post, when I have always been open about my diagnosis. I was diagnosed when I turned 18 in a forensic setting and my father has it as well. I have talked countless times about it. Thank you for all who understand.)

[keepingthehopealive]

EMDR session 4

ET- emdr therapist

PT- main therapist

K- therapist from my teens with the traumatic termination

Im sure ET saw this session as a "success" because we actually did an EMDR exercise, but despite that, I experienced the freeze a lot worse than I have in the previous sessions and there was still so much I couldnt do and didnt do good enough. She brought up the idea of exploring things with curiousity versus judgement and shame and thats the theme she wants to go with in the processing work.

We tried to do an exercise where I had the "inner critic" comfortable in its own room and kind of put aside so we could get to what else was I was feeling. I find any visualization things like this challenging to begin with but did try to do it. When we got back to the question of what I was feeling it was still shame and judgement and nothing else, so we moved on at that point. Later in the session, a few times we did get beyond it and I identified three other things that are there which were fears, grief and anger. 

ET's go to questions are- How does it feel in your body when I say/ask this and how old is that part or that feeling. Trying to answer questions more from my body and less from my head, feels more genuine, and i recognize how quickly the defenses or protective parts and cognitive spirals step in. I asked her a few times to actually repeat questions so I could try to answer them before I spiral too much or get sucked into the shame and judgement feelings. Its a goal I should have with PT but the fear triggered is the "too much".

It also feels shameful, even if accurate, that most of the time when im trying to "age" a feeling or experience, it feels really young. We talked about the example of hating my body and how that goes back as far as I can remember.

 (I did not communicate this to ET) but It triggers the cascade of defenses or shame: your childhood wasnt bad (you were just bad), youre just being dramatic and trying to create reasons that dont exist, you werent abused or neglected, my mom is good and did better than her parents, *my sister* doesnt have these issues so it has to be my fault etc.

ET asked it a few times; 1 was about PT and how it would feel to get reassurance contrary to the abandonment fears. She was asking more particularly if things improve does that trigger the fear of PT leaving or the work ending, but it goes both ways, which makes it feel more paralyzing. I said I feel it as constriction and tightness and the freeze. I also know PT constantly are giving me this reassurance and that PT tries not to at the same time because I was so aggressive from the start that I dont want any false reassurance and only want genuineness, which is a negative reaction. 

The 2nd time she asked was when we were talking about my relationship with my mom and she asked what it would feel like to think about not talking to her or calling her everyday. The answer was basically the same with my body feeling tightness and freezing in that. I also felt, but didnt say or express in the moment with ET, the overwhelming "that would end badly" (for my mom), like I need to protect her and make sure shes OK, that im there for her. ET talked about how me being able to set boundaries might actually lead to the positive shifts in the relationship and dynamic. I dont know if I believe it or can do it. I feel pretty confident that my mom wont do the work to change or even fully acknowledge her role and accountability in anything. It feels easier (and a million times harder) to just leave it as is. 

The 3rd time the question came up was in regards to K and what it would feel like to decrease the level of distress with those memories and feelings. We were both suprised by my answer that if it was possible, it would feel like a release in my body to bring that distress down. I know how much it affects my therapy and my life still, which causes so much shame. Which is especially loud with PT and the freeze and transference. 

We did an EMDR flash technique exercise with the memory of the termination session with K.  I wasnt able to pat my legs which was supposed to be part of it but it was me looking at pictures on my phone of the puppies and *work baby* and talking about that and then ET would instruct me to blink and then occasionally very quickly think about the memory and see where my body was in terms of distress. We didnt do it that long and I started feeling the distress as a 9 and by the end was more like a 5, as long as I didnt think about it long. 

After a couple minutes of it, I was feeling it super intensely frozen and had to stop and really collapse to try to feel safe. It was the normal freeze and collapse but also felt like my body was feeling what I did the termination session which was shameful, pathetic and painful. ET tried to get me back to looking at the pictures or some engagement but then also just tried to see what I needed in the moment. She moved away, even all the way to her waiting room to see if that would help me get out of it, which it didnt. She commented that the freeze isnt dissociation and that I was really stuck between hypo and hyperarousal because I was hyperventilating while also being curled up and stuck. I explicitly asked for reassurance or the "answer" of how we move forward from it and she talked about the intention being to bring the distress down enough where we can process it more (with actual EMDR processing) and that can be the next steps. I dont believe the activation or distress will ever get to a 0 (ET does, but said we dont have to do that either if I dont want it to go completely away), even if part of me really does want that. 

The end she talked about trying to contain some of this stuff until next time I see her which isnt until the end of the month (5 weeks total). Mostly in regards to K since we did that processing towards the end of our session. 

[terraliensvent]

thanks for being open to critique /gen

I sadly do agree with the anon on the pkmn blog rn bc I also noticed a change in how you respond aswell.

i can think of two examples straight off my head of when you seemed biased. srry to bring it back up but ya the first time was when the porn proportioned terra discourse happened. you spoke for the anon and changed the meaning of what they said to “oh they just meant kea should be more varied” when its clear thats not what ppl were upset about. the second example was when you also made it seem like anons who had imo very legit reasons to be upset about the way you handled the “speculation” were just being crazy out of nowhere. like you said they were like “you should die in a fire if u think this is ok” when no one said that, they were just rightfully disgusted and concerned.

ik this is a drama blog but the truth does matter too even when it means conceding that someone u disagree with was not bad in a situation or also that someone u agree with was bad.

idk i think u have been ok sofar but like yea if u learned from this it would make ur blog alot better like when it started

post related

example 1

example 2

prefacing my reply by saying im not arguing against the point this anon made or trying to paint my responses linked as “correct” or anything, just giving my reasoning for stuff

i will say that these 2 situations are the ones that have exhausted me the most when it comes to topics on here, which does further my point about how i can be bitter when topics get more aggressive. im not sure if i should take this as an issue with myself, or whether to show that being nasty to myself and others in my inbox just helps nobody. lets go with both!

starting with example 1, i felt like i made it pretty clear that i had my own interpretation of the comment, i think i even said as much within my reply. i will admit though i dont really have any sort of fondness for kea and their previous sexualization of terra adopts did leave a bad taste in my mouth regarding them. regardless, i think the reason i gave og anon so much slack is because of the (in my opinion) unbalanced response to it in the first reply. i think that there should be some more disconnect when it comes to critiquing a person ideas as opposed to the person themselves; what i mean by that is you can say “that comment you made or that idea you hold is misogynistic” without making aggressive assumptions as the person replying did. i think that maybe it makes it my fault for not being clearer that assumptions like that arent welcome here, or maybe its more my fault for having a very specific expectation of how people should interact. either way

example 2 i think has a bit of a shorter explanation, this specific ask set me off about the whole situation, since i agree it really shouldnt have gone on as long as it did. but as ive stated many times before i prefer to post everything in my inbox just to be more trustworthy as a mod and i was expecting that ppl could just let the topic die on its own. the assumptions thing was also happening here, and with the arguing going on it just pissed me off. i will say about the specific “die in a fire comment” that wasnt me so much saying that anons were claiming stuff like that, but rather me being hyperbolic in explaining my stance. i can be really hyperbolic on here when it comes to jokes and i can realize sometimes it isnt the most obvious thing, but thats my way of communicating for when im not being the most serious. with that specific situation, i was getting really annoyed that people were winding down to slapfighting, and if i presented the opposing anons as crazy or not really having a leg to stand on, thats my bad. i can see where both sides are coming from, it was just at that point in the argument i really just wanted it to be done and i maintain the stance that it really wasnt any of our business

i dont mean to present my opinions on here as the correct ones or that people who disagree with me are bad, and my responses on here are meant to be my interpretation of asks and how i see things personally. if i give my interpretation, it isnt meant to be like “oh actually anon meant this,” its more like “the way i read it is they could mean this, i dont have a ton of evidence one way or the other though so this is just my thoughts”

in the end though, i think both of these instances can be majorly chalked up to me becoming snippy, lol

[schimmelspore]

Since its a slow day at work (yay new years) i just had a rather long chat with an older Muslim coworker. It was nice, it was nuanced over all, but it was also a picture book example of someone not used to unsensationalized discussion about complex issues.

We touched on multiple topics and she is one of those people falling victim to the "someone is controlling our government" conspiracy. The moment she said german politicians all want the same and follow the same Agenda that they get told from the elites above, i asked who those elites are. "I dont know, its not important to my point." And i said that its actually pretty important to her point of the government being controlled.

This is in its root antisemitic of course. I didnt bring that up specifically, because its a loaded topic with the war going on and my coworker being lebanese and having family there. And im at work, so i didnt wanna open that up explicitely. It would have been seen as an attack and dismissal of her familys suffering. But i did try to make her think about it a little more. About what shes saying and where shes getting that from.

And i think i got her to look at whats going on in the World a little more with open eyes and not through (very understandable and justified) anger. I recommended some sources to get back into consuming a varied diet of news and relearning Media literacy. So many things she said were just not thought to the end and Jack full of fallacies. Shes not a bad or hateful person, shes just helpless and angry that the World is burning and shes been treated unfairly by life and community.

I prefer a gentle and calm aproach to everyday people like this. It gets me further in bringing more Nuance and less hate and rage. Basically giving an example how these discussions can go better.

Idk we will see if it did something. Im just glad if she starts feeling better and gets more informed by good sources and less conspiracy. I dont eamt her to slip.

[tottymatsuno]

Zaimoku as a failed duo is so funny to me bc it really does bleed into the group dynamic a lot, since both Todomatsu and Karamatsu are often the odd ones out.

They didn't even rly get along in s1 despite literally trying to, and quickly stop associating with each other despite literally having been assigned each other's name buddy since birth, and also having been besties as kids. We dont even find out why exactly they fall out in the movie, theyre already basically estranged despite Karamatsu clearly being sensitive, and Todomatsu having actively helped him with his acting career (the saw parody episode ncnsns) like they were two sweethearts, but totty basically alternated between choro (ideal bc he could kangaroo and be tolerated), ichi (who he shared friends with), and oso (badbadbad!) But Karamatsu was not an option!

Even in s2 theres not a specific reason why they fell out and continued to be estranged, they actually have a lot of parallels in the things that happen to them, and their relationship with totoko. Theres the au in osoma that shows that they could be at least friendly towards each other despite their differences in sensibility (not shipping tho)

In s3 it makes sense that Todomatsu basically hates him now, bc of the cashier but ig im just kind of surprised by how long and hard he's held a grudge. And the fact he's completely taken over Ichimatsu's initial role as tormentor? Ichimatsu rarely goes out of his way to have an outburst at Karamatsu at this point meanwhile totty literally every opportunity he gets, including making opportunities just apathetically puts Karamatsu in harms way.

He just really kind of hates him? And that's a little uncharacteristic for Todomatsu who tends to get over stuff by the end of the episode, or only brings it back up if someone else does (like the christmas ep where ichi was like what happened to those girls from your job)

I think it probably says a lot actually about how much their fight over the cashier bothered totty? He's still clearly not over it, especially bc this behavior is consistently and exclusively towards kara. Like kicking him and making him fall when going to the bathroom, but letting Osomatsu potentially cut in line, or pushing Karamatsu during the hipipo movie.

I'm not even sure if Karamatsu himself holds any animosity towards totty or realizes why he's suddenly being singled out like that. I can't say what happened and why they were both rejected, but its very clear that somewhere between

This Totty

And this Totty

His confidence and expectations on getting into a relationship have drastically changed. I kinda wonder if he feels especially betrayed by Karamatsu, who's been distant from him bc of their communication issues, and bc this was the first time in the show not only did his brothers support *him* when he wanted to ask someone out, but bc Karamatsu is supposed to be his best friend from birth.

Even in the scene above, its Todomatsu who's actually listing things he liked, even if theyre superficial, meanwhile all Karamatsu is saying is "me too" and Todomatsu as the central character for the episode it makes sense that he'd feel the stronger of the two, but ig to me i see it and the fact hes still angry about it, as like deeper than that.

Because he doesn't really hold a grudge against anyone else. The only other situation i can think of is him making fun of choromatsus brown hair in s2 during his quiz. Like how does Karamatsu, who he's not even super close with in s1 still tie as his favorite brother, with his clearly favorite brother Osomatsu? I think it hurt him a lot more than he said it did, bc he didn't hit Karamatsu first and was initially content to just sit there together after their double rejection.

Anyways i dont think Todomatsu's more deserving of love than Karamatsu, and I don't think he's a better person either. I post about them a lot bc I feel a lot of direct (its onesided tho) competition with karamatsu fans, since for a long time i pretended to be one bc i wasnt confident enough in my own skills to write for Todomatsu, but also bc a lot of totty hate used to come from karamatsu fans, who especially judge Todomatsu based on his behavior towards karamatsu rather than the person he is.

I think karamatsu probably does deserve to have all the freaks who wanna freak him, but ig the thing i wanna say is I don't blame Todomatsu for hating him now, and to me, I love Todomatsu the most. And he deserves all of my love. Even if theres a few of us who would choose him over anyone else, or even if its rly just me, I want Totty to know somebody loves him just as he is without any additional qualifications, for him to change, or for him to be different.

But thats sappy and silly so im gonna end this post very classy and with decorum