#i think im gonna go the distance this time

[salemlunaa]

I might just be overthinking this but (this is lengthy, I wanted to explain as best I could)

I’ve been procrastinating the void for three years now it’s crazy. I haven’t got insane yet, but I have this terrible routine of going throughout the day wanting to enter the void but when I come home and it’s time for bedtime and all that suddenly want to enter leaves this magical third-party force making me do this. It’s a conscious choice. I just don’t get why I keep setting myself up for this disappointment every single day. 

Ive gone through all the reasonings. Even tho this current life makes me nothing but unhappy, tired, and I constantly feel like a shell of myself but it’s what I’m used to another thing I’ve noticed is I only want to enter the void when I’m actively doing something I don’t like like I’m at work or I’m at school or I’m doing homework but when I’m laying down in my bed I guess I’m not inconvenience so I guess I just tell myself all is OK even though there’s this voice deep down screaming at me to just enter the void because I know I’m gonna be disappointed and irritated myself next morning if I don’t, and I always just ignore it.

I don’t know if it’s because I prefer to imagine my dream life at a safe distance in just my head as insane as that sounds. I used to think I was afraid of change, but it’s not that cause I’ve always adapted to it. Well, I guess it was just usually not really my choice I had to. I’ve come to terms with the fact that there’s no way for me to prepare for a life. I haven’t experienced. I’m over that. I know. I deserve to live an stress-free fun life after the bullshit I’ve gone through. I mean, clearly I don’t want enough but at the same time I clearly do because I keep screaming at myself to just do it. I don’t know why my procrastination or laziness or stubbornness. I don’t know why I let it overpower that

Four years probably since I don’t know at least fifth or sixth grade I believe that somehow someway they’re just has to be away I can get the dream life I’ve been dreaming of. I don’t know why, but I just feel like something can do it for me like there’s no way I’m destined to live this shitty ass life, and now that I found the power to do so now I just keep pushing it back. Oh I’ll do it later even though I’m wanted this for years since I was probably 11, im 20 now, I found out about his whole community when I was 17 on a Saturday evening binge eating fruit snacks.

Im just so frustrated with myself, how I can allow myself to keep making my own suffering at this point, I know all the why but I don’t understand the why. Why I keep doing this to myself and how to stop it, I try to think and understand it everyday. I want to enter the void and get the life I deserve and I don’t plan on giving up ever.

Ik this is super long so thank you so much for answering if you do. can I be your 🌶️🥒 (spicy dill) anon, if that’s still a thing?

hi love🌶️🥒

you have the exact same problem that majority of this community has so please don’t feel lonely. A lot of people spend their days doing nothing at all and wait for the last second to apply.

you are not destined to live a shitty life, you get to craft your own life and i know it can be comforting imagining that from afar, but if you really want it you have to lock in, like really, you actually have to try.

I don’t want you to waste any more years like this so some advice i will give you is whenever you have any free time include the void, try and if it “fails” go back to what you know is true, relaxation and detachment and try again.

This is such a common problem in the community and your story will resonate with so many people, so to everyone reading this go an apply, stop killing time 💋💋

[aeliem]

1st horseman - Conquest

(click for better quality)

timelapse and rambles under the cut

i finally fucking did it hell yeah!!!

ok so i had the idea to have each bad sans (killer, dust, horror & nightmare) as each of the horsemen of the apocalypse. i started it about a months ago, planning to release it on halloween (turns out that didnt really work out as you can see)

but now its finally done! the 4 drawings are all finished, im gonna post them over the course of this month so i have time to focus on comics (i have one comic in mind especially where all the scenes are done, i just need to make a clean script and makes the actual pages) (and maybe writing? i've been reading stuff on ao3 and im getting inspired)

also some stuff in the drawing (easter eggs? idk)

the purple color on the bow end & feathers is the KR/karma color (or at least close enough) Dust's eye is red & cyan (obviously), but i always headcanon him as having more patience than perseverance (except purple on red looks like shit so i draw it cyan anyway), but i did add a small sliver of purple between the 2 colors the text in the background is the message you get at the end of a fight when leveling up, and this one specifically (200 XP 0 gold) is for papyrus

anyways

Why Conquest for Dust?

part of it was by elimination, but between the 4 choices i feel Conquest matches best thematically. famine is out of the question, death feels too important to be him, and civil war is too chaotic/not really as calculated as i imagine him to be.

conquest's elements are: the color white, a bow, and the themes of conquest, but also "noble" war (between countries, by opposition to civil war) or religious war. white isn't especially about dust, but the bow i feel works because he would fight at a distance (and generally try to distance himself from what he's doing)

Dust's story is all about fighting an enemy who's on the other side of the barrier (the human), so linking it to war makes sense, and he thinks going on a killing spree is the only way he can save everyone/make things right, so the "noble" side of it matches pretty well. (also conquest can be/has been interpreted as the christ/antichrist, and i headcanon Dust has a huge savior complex so this absolutely matches)

enough ramblings, here's the timelapse!

[yourlocalbadgerscales]

Okay so you say you're a demigirl and a lesbian so I'm guessing you're theyfab as fuck. Listen bitch, when a trans girl tells you you're probably a terf, then you're probably a terf. Suck my dick. And no, I'm not the pedo accusing anon or whatever you mentioned in the rbs. Nice distraction tho.

what’s they-fab lol

If you have actual evidence of me being a terf then you can show me them, I’ll gladly do anything I can to change my way to make more people happy with what I’m posting. The problem is, you don’t seem to have real reasons to think that about me? It’d be a different thing if I kept buying Harry Potter merch and engaging in the fandom in a way that provides the author with my money, and I’ve already told you I don’t do that. I have almost all books in the series since I was a child, and the ones I’ve gotten this last year I’ve bought second-hand. Nothing new, no merch or anything, nothing that pays jkr.

So I do not engage in anything that helps the author keep on with her sick feminism. And I am a minor, so I’m gonna have to wait until I’m older and famous (lol I won’t be famous but I wanna be a singer) until I can criticise her in the open and have an actual audience that knows what I stand for. There’s not much I can do right now. All I can do is make sure that bitch doesn’t get a single euro from me, and that nobody thinks I support her. I guess I failed in that last part 💀

Okay, here you have it. I do NOT support the author of the HP books. I do not support ANY terfs or transphobes. I am trans myself and have a bunch of trans friends, and if you read @homocidalpotat’s response to your last message you’d know that. Even if I didn’t I’d support trans people anyway. I’ve supported y’all since day 1. And it’s gotten me in trouble in school, and it’s led to arguments between me and my mother. But that isn’t a reason for me to stop fighting for y’all, and I will continue to do this until the day I die.

I recommend you read @homocidalpotat’s paragraph. They said pretty much everything for me. The marauders fandom has made me and so many other trans people (and people in general) find something we have a burning passion for. Heck, some of us find the strength to keep living in this fandom. It’s a beautiful thing, and we all take distance from jkr and her bullshit. Do you even know the amount of fics we’ve all written? We read those more than jkr’s stupid, poorly written books.

I’ll say it again. Since I learned about trans people and jkr’s transphobia, I have not ONCE bought any of her stuff. I have not ONCE praised her. I’ve come across plenty of transphobes on this site and argued with them, and they are sick in the head. They are proud of their transphobia and do not hesitate to let us know what they stand for. If I were a transphobe, I would brag about it. But here I am, and being a bigot is nothing to brag about, and I’ll spend so many more days of my life fighting those bigots, even though they’ll never listen to us.

I get enough anon hate for supporting the trans community, and my friend got send a dick pic while arguing with a bigot about how someone’s genitals doesn’t decide what gender they are. I know how horrible transphobes are, and I hate to know that people think I’m one of them, but there’s nothing I can do to change your mind. I won’t waste too much time on you now, k? 💋

Stop sending hate. I get enough of that for being the very opposite of what you think I am.

P.S I am aware that trans people can be transphobes as well. That’s why I’d love to hear some of your reasons to think I’m one. If you’d just tell me your reasons, I’d do everything in my power to change that. But being in the marauders fandom isn’t enough evidence to me. Have a good day.

P.P.S I don’t wanna suck your dick, so I’m gonna have to say pass.

P.P.P.S Okay. Thanks for letting me know it’s not the same anon!

[whereispearlescentmoon]

Wild Life Pearl POV Reaction

Hell yeah! Scott’s on board with being chaotic!

Oh he knows what Pearl did… wuh woh.

Scott changed his skin without turning yellow, so name mc spoilers have actually failed me.

“Operation get Pearl back to green” I don’t think this is going to happen if the namemc spoilers were any indication . Actually why do I feel dread?

BigB is here!!! Guess we really are letting bygones be bygones.

Robot quiz about the Life Series? I actually don’t like this tbh. Doesn’t seem fair to Pearl, Ren, Skizz, Mumbo, and Lizzie who weren’t in some of the series.

BigB is really back!!!!!

“Cleo that looks good on you there. Forgiveness.” “BigB, do you want to test me?”

Ah the hole jokes.

Oh the quiz bots go to one person?

“I forgot, I was out so early” “I see Grian, that’s why you don’t respect my win…” GET HIM CLEO GET HIM

Oh no Cleo got got….

Pearl’s first question. This one is about the current life series so that seems more fair. Although Pearl by her own admission on stream doesn’t watch other POVs because she doesn’t want spoilers of what people are planning.

“Hi! I’m Cleo!” Dont think I didn’t catch that season 9 throw back.

“I’m a spider today!” Aussie Aussie Aussie!

“It’s a question about the only season I wasn’t in!” THIS IS WHAT IM SAYING SKIZZ! And him and Pearl only missed one season! What about Ren, Mumbo, and Lizzie who missed two (three for Lizzie if you count Real Life which evidently the quiz has questions about!)? What about Gem who only joined in Secret Life?

“What did Pearl and Scar use to hurt their soulmates in Double Life?” Every Pearl fan stares off into the distance shaking from the cold. Also Grian just not telling Skizz the solution… Spanner divorce.

BigB, Martyn, and Jimmy mass death? Ohh that’s what happens when you get it wrong. Yeah I’m actually really not a fan of this wild card. And it spawns a ravager which can kill others in the area. Great, perfectly balanced. No notes.

Wait wait, so sometimes it kills you and sometimes you just get huge? How is that fair at all? I’m sorry but it seems like this and the snail twist both needed massive balancing reconsiderations.

“Should we go antagonize Gem and Joel? Seems like a good idea.” “You’re calling the shots so sure.” “All in! All in!” How I’ve always wanted Scott and Cleo to respond to Pearl /j

“On a scale of 1-10 how much do you love me today?” “Oh, like 0,” “*sigh* I try every time,” The shiny duo divorce continues. Also, you don’t seem to hate her very much Gem, given that you’re chit chatting like nothing is wrong at all.

“Don’t be alone today, that’s scary,”

“It’s okay I’ve got lots of lives to spare, unlike some people,”

“That was unnecessary. I’m tired of this fighting Gem! Cant we be friends?”

“No? You want to kill me!”

“No, no I don’t! When have I ever tried to kill you this season?”

“Not this season.”

“Exactly. You know Scar allied with us in that last episode of Secret Life right? You know. I didn’t kill you. I let Scar do it.”

“I know you didn’t kill me,”

“So what are you cranky about? Do we need to talk about it?”

“I’m not cranky”

“You are cranky!”

“I just, you know I wanted drama. So this is the drama.”

“This is the drama. You’re telling me we could have been friends this whole time but you’re just like ‘ohohohoho I hate you’”

“Yeah, I mean why not?” SO EVEN GEM ADMITS ITS ABOUT NOTHING! That’s actually so slay of her.

YOU CANT TYPE IN CHAT????? THE SNAIL IS BACK IF YOU FAIL??? CLEO IS ON SEVEN HEARTS AND NOT REGENING??!? I just… these punishments are so unbalanced. Scar gets insta killed by a snail, one of them triple killed, Grian just got big, and Cleo is fine as long as she doesn’t take damage.

Hi Billy!

Oh Gem is at their base for once! SHE BLEW UP CLEO? Or got her blown up??? Oh she’s gotta die.

“Does anyone have a thing of flint and steel?” Dangerous question coming from notorious arsonist ZombieCleo. “I’m gonna hit Gem in the one place she actually cares about” There it is! Missed you bestie arsonist!

PEARL BLEW HERSELF UP WITH MARTYN!!! And since he’s on light green, she’s on red.

CLEO BURNED DOWN THE RENWOOD HOUSE! YAAAAAY I LOVE YOU ARSONIST CLEO!!!!

“Haven’t you accepted in this series that nothing stays alive?” Hey Pearl, that was the rawest fucking thing I’ve ever heard. Congrats.

Yay Scarlet Pearl! Oh no… Scarlet Pearl… :(

Pearl your kill attempts do get a little sad if you fail like four different times. Love your girl fail nature bestie! Love your pathetic wet cat aura!

A robot voice modulator for failing? Oh wait they can’t understand her at all????? Her pathetic wet cat aura is so strong! Especially her big nods when Gem offers to hang out when they’re both red! Also Gem and Joel just trying to get her to kill Scott while she tries to fight them and they can’t understand is so funny.

Pearl and Impulse pretending to understand each other is so funny. And Pearl still talking in spite of everything is also hilarious. Tango is blooping as well!! Yay!! Also it’s like Skizz could understand that Pearl was complementing him.

Tango getting in a boat and stealing Skizz’s robot is so funny.

We have Etho now! Yay!

Wait a second. Scott didn’t you promise Pearl a life when she went red. Where’s the self sacrifice blue boy? Come on blue boy.

MUMBO FIRST OUT OH NO! Can’t wait for the fandom to once again misuse what a canary is and apply it to him!

PEARL NO DONT HOLD OUT KILL HIM TO GET YELLOW PLS! PEARL! PEARL!

“I get to wack you a little bit longer, get a little therapy” “After this, we’re settled, no more grudges” The Galaxy duo experience is this happening multiple times every season. Not mad about it though.

“The real full circle moment would have been if we had snow in this” Powdered snow mention two! Also not the puffer fish killing Scott before Pearl can hit him lol.

Pearlie got her mace! Yay!

We have BigB and Etho on our team now!

Honestly, my final thoughts are I don’t love this week’s wild card. The punishments seem unbalanced and the questions aren’t fair to those who weren’t in certain life series. I know that people get pissed if you dare criticize anything to do with anything but like, it’s literally just my opinion.

[mamaangiwine]

I haven't been posting because I have been doing one single ritual for *weeks* (actually months now) and I have failed two times to do it consistently.

This is my third attempt. To fail again would mean cleansing myself and reorienting myself, because I cannot fail. It is not an option.

It is taking up all my time and space for magic and mystical thought.

Regardless though, I'm learning a lot...but c'mon. Who does this to themselves?

[oifaaa]

I saw some of your two jasons/clone AU and I genuinely thought you were continuing the markiplier joke and now Jason had a clone who Ra’s and Talia just like. plopped fake memories in and set loose idk. and decided to become a youtuber.

Anon please could you not spoil the ending of my clone au that's very rude of you Jeez now I've got to come up with a whole new ending

[moeblob]

Amazing, take some of the side character demons from Evil Bound.

Vincie is a menace to Chuck and Chuck alone so in Hell, Chuck hexes his hand behind his back so that he isn't grabbed as much (and it's harder to pet him). Chuck is like the most irresponsible older sibling ever to demons though so Kelvin recruits him (as an older sibling vibe) to go help him get his ACTUAL older sibling from Earth. Chuck agrees. And then drags Vincie from Hell with them because no one else wants to babysit him and he refuses to unbind the hex just to re-hex when he returns to Hell.

In Hell, Kelvin actually doesn't appear much different than his human form! Like Kronos, the lines under his eyes are red in Hell but black on earth. Chuck however? In Hell he has wolf-ish ears and has a fur lining his neck (note the neck scars in human form). In addition to that he has four eyes in Hell (note the scars under his eyes in human form). Vincie just has horns in Hell. And! In Hell the hex doesn't have a silly looking "tied up" look, it's invisible unless Vincie strains it with movement and then its red text. But it shifts on earth to be visible.

Vincie's biggest agony for the entirety on earth is "dude it's colder here than in Hell I want a jacket to slip my arms into BUT I CANT BECAUSE IM BOUND".

[sundays-mutt]

think im gonna give my partner promise ring at the aquarium

[thegreatyin]

y'know, it probably feels weird for the scoundrel to admit, but they feel surprisingly comforted to be back on their ship for a change. they finally have control of the situation, they're finally around people they (vaguely) trust, they- wait a minute hold on what was that line

oh

oh no

oh no the horrors just keep getting worse and worse for them

[ratscabies]

I think I'm gonna try learning how to drive again, but I'm very anxious about it

[felixcosm]

I think Distance From Me is my most looped song of last year and it certainly will be of this year too and I never get tired of hearing it. Every time I'm blown away by how beautiful Dylan's voice is in this song

[phagodyke]

kind of annoys me sometimes how I can happily listen to my roommate explain the entire plot of whatever she's currently into but when it comes to my interests she can only listen for a few mins before wordlessly walking out of the room

[wildevenusian]

i just don’t understand. why say ur ready to talk if you aren’t?

can u believe this post is what got me to reach tag limit

[bright-and-burning]

anon who was trying to get me to unpack my feelings abt my ex please come back… i made my peace w him not really caring about talking to me (sue me for wanting to stay close friends) given that he disappeared w/o saying goodbye at all only for him to text me at 1am abt a dream he had that i was in and then today send me several instagram reels when i haven’t opened the backload of dozens he’s sent me in weeks

[juniestar]

My zine has a total of 170 upvotes on reddit and ppl are asking me abt trades and friends have asked me abt buying… im really excited! I think i know my next steps here

[luxsea]

i heard karlachs monologue was rlly good but holy shit i genuinely dont think i'll be the same after that