#i think ill learn it how i learned the 24 hour clock

[outfoxt]

that all makes sense to me 🤔 +0 = hot and -0 = cold

here's my system, at your request:

assuming normal air pressure, 32 degrees is the freezing point of water and 212 degrees is the boiling point.

I personally don't ever really think about 0 degrees, partially because I come from a warmer climate and partially because it doesn't really mean anything other than "it cold 🥶"

when it's below 32 you know it's cold and when it's above you know it's not as cold. what most people can ageee to be a "nice" temperature range is 68-77 degrees, but the actual range of opinions of "nice" temperatures ranges anywhere from 60-80 degrees. my preferred temperature is 63 outside, and 72 inside. anything over 80 is Hot™ and anything over 95 gets close to unbearable. it does regularly get above 100 degrees in some places during the summer, but luckily we live in the day and age of air conditioning. average human body temp is about 98.6 degrees. I will say that fahrenheit is more "sensitive" than celcius in that more numbers in fahrenheit equal the same number in celcius

they should invent a 69 degrees that feels like 69 degrees (it feels like it's 75)

[jubilationsart]

Your ferrets are so cuuute! My girlfriend and I were desperate to get ferrets (I've always wanted them) but then we heard they get sick a lot. Is that true? We could afford the vets bills but I'd just hate to see them suffering a lot.

yall fucked up asking me about ferrets. this is my tip of the iceberg thing i love. no one knows how actually crazy i am about ferrets i'm--

Soooo, yes. Pretty much all ferrets you find in north america are Marshall ferrets. They are mill ferrets and can be recognized by their dot tattoos in their ears. Over bred in facilities and sent out to either labs as test animals or petstores as pets. So they tend to come prone to illness. On top of that a lot of people feed them poor food-- stuff that has indigestible grains/veg/fruit and also don't understand their internal clock and natural light schedules that affect their body's hormones. They can't be in a lit room 24/7, they have to have light thats controlled to simulate day and night hours or covered enclosures during night hours. My partner and I have had a total of 4 Marshall ferrets in the last 13 years. They have all lived past the usual expectancy of 4-6 years. Lemon for example is going on 8 and JUST this year got diagnosed with the common Marshall disease; adrenal disease. Our 2 that passed away years ago lived to 7 but succumbed to cancer and adrenal disease. I do really think that we managed to have healthy lives for them for so long due to our daylight scheduling and raw meat diets for them. Because of that we decided to get ferrets from Europe as they are as far from the Marshal lines as you can get lmao. But on the Eastcoast of the US there are a lot of good ferret breeders with connections to European breeders. So they have healthy ferrets for just a tad more the $$ you'd get from petstores. We learned a lot from them and European breeders on best ways to care for them.

[danydragons21]

The Shadows That Sing: Ch. 19

Read it on ao3 here.

This is the 3rd chapter I'm posting in 2 weeks and I am in AWE of myself but also do NOT get used to it because I make no promises for future updates to be this quick...But I also make no promises that they won’t be quick. lol. Anyway, enjoy ;)

Chapter 19: The House of Truth

Elain had been in Velaris for less than 24 hours, but she was already ready to leave.

Too incensed from her outburst, it had taken her hours to fall asleep, and she still woke up at dawn. Anger truly was the best alarm clock. And now, hours after waking, she found herself pacing around her room in the River House, absorbed in her resentment.

Elain was neither foolish nor cruel enough to pretend she was innocent of any blame. She had made plenty of mistakes, had done harm to people she cared about, and would spend the rest of her life trying to rectify and never repeat those mistakes. But so much of her anger — the anger she held in the deepest, darkest recesses of her heart — was directed at her elder sister.

Nesta’s cruelty was not malicious or filled with ill-intent. She knew her sister had demons that haunted her every hour, and only this past year had she truly learned to confront and tame them. But that didn’t mean the decades of words and actions Nesta had imparted on Elain didn’t leave a raw and searing mark on her soul. And after all these years, she had finally had enough of her sister assuming what was best for her. Enough of everyone, Rhys and Feyre and all the rest, making important decisions for her. It was nothing short of blatant disrespect. And she was done with it.

She kept waiting for the shame to hit her, for the regret to creep in about how emotionally vulnerable she’d been the night before. But instead of regret, all she felt was clean.  Like some grimy, contaminated piece of her soul had been scrubbed raw.

Her Fae ears pricked up as she heard someone walking up the stairs, heading for her room. A groan bubbled up in her throat; she swallowed it down. Thus far, she’d successfully avoided all contact with the others in the house, a feat she’d accomplished by refusing to leave her room. She still wasn’t ready to face anyone, but it seemed that once again, she did not have a choice. Summoning all her goodwill, she tried to paste a neutral smile on her face; one glance in the mirror told her the effort was hopeless. She may as well not try at all.

“Remind me never to get on your bad side.”

Elain whipped around to find a beautiful, golden-haired female leaning against the doorframe, her bright brown eyes sparkling.

“Mor,” she smiled, genuinely this time. “What are you doing here?”

“I’d planned to arrive last night in time for the Inner Circle meeting, but unfortunately I was delayed,” Mor said. “A meeting which, after hearing about what I’ve decided to coin ‘Elain’s Great Eruption,’ I’m quite sorry to have missed.”

Her jaw tightened. “I don’t regret saying any of it,” she said stiffly.

“And you shouldn’t,” Mor replied. “You’ve been expected to say nothing for far too long. I am glad you gave them all a piece of your mind.”

Elain blinked. “Thank you,” she murmured, unsure what else to say.

Mor shrugged and then sat in the middle of the bed, bouncing slightly on the mattress. “It’s just the truth.”

“Well, you would know,” Elain gave her a crooked grin. Mor returned it with a smirk of her own.

“I would,” she agreed. “You don’t have to tell me, but…what in the gods’ names did Rhys do to you? I don’t think I’ve ever seen him look so ashamed in his life.”

Elain sniffed. She sure hoped he felt shame. “He didn’t tell you?”

“No. Nor would Feyre, though from the way she was glaring at him, I’m certain she knows.”

Well, it was only a matter of time before everyone else knew, too. It’s not like she had tried to hide her problem with Rhys, even if she didn’t explicitly state what it was. She may as well tell Mor, even if her history with Azriel was complicated, to say the least.

“This past Solstice, Azriel and I… shared a moment,” she said carefully. Mor’s expression did not change, so she continued. “We were drunk and it was late, and I suppose we were both lonely…and we almost kissed.” Well, that was close enough to the truth. No need to elaborate on her incredibly confusing feelings for the Spymaster.

“Almost?” Mor raised an eyebrow.

“Almost. Rhys happened upon us before we could, and spoke to Azriel via his Daemati powers. Told him that he had to stop immediately, and then later ordered him to stay away from me. I just found out recently.”

Mor’s mouth dropped open. “He did not,” she said in a hushed voice. “That rat bastard!”

Unable to help it, Elain let out a dry laugh. “My thoughts exactly.”

“So…you and Azriel…has anything else, you know…happened?”

“Oh, no,” she said. Her voice was slightly higher-pitched than usual, but she didn’t think Mor noticed. “Nothing has happened. And nothing will happen. We are just friends. But it’s the principle of the thing. Rhys has no right to control what does or doesn’t happen in either of our personal lives, certainly not for such ridiculous political reasons.” In truth, Elain knew that the reasons weren’t entirely ridiculous, even if they were unfair…but she was still too upset to let rationality rule.

“He doesn’t. And I’m glad you stuck up for yourself. Rhys is a stubborn old male sometimes, and has to be reminded every once in a while that being High Lord doesn’t mean he always knows what is best.”

“Well, I’m happy to be of service in the telling-Rhys-off department.”

Mor laughed. “ So when are you going back to the Mortal Manor?”

“As soon as possible. I was hoping to leave before noon, but I think Azriel is still on a mission right now, and…” She glanced through the window, to where the sun was shining brightly. It might already be noon.

“And you don’t want to ask any of the others to take you?” Mor finished.

Elain sent her a guilty look. “Not particularly, no,” she admitted.

“I can take you, if you’d like,” Mor said brightly. “Are you sure you don’t want to say goodbye to everyone first?”

“I’m sure,” she said firmly. “And that would be wonderful. Thank you.”

“Of course,” Mor smiled, squeezing her arm. Then she cocked her head to the side slightly, a curious look on her face.

“What?” Elain asked, rather defensively.

“Are you sure there’s nothing else wrong?”

Elain didn't even hesitate. “Of course I’m sure.”

“I see,” Mor said, still staring at her intently. Elain looked away. That was the problem. She was worried her friend did see.

***

She was in Pentalos again, walking along the cobbled streets of the trading market. Salty air tickled her nose. The large golden wheel glittered in the sun. As she passed it, she took a sharp left turn, heading down an alleyway she had not visited before. A few minutes later she stopped in front of a curiously cylindrical building, made entirely of rock, seashells embedded throughout. A bright red door was built into the stone.

Elain woke up with a start, panting. A shaky hand passed over her forehead, wiping away the thin layer of sweat coated there. She was in her room at the Mortal Manor; it was dark outside. She vaguely recalled laying down shortly after Mor had dropped her off at the Manor, since all the members of the Band of Exiles were occupied; apparently, her exhaustion had finally caught up to her. As she steadied her breathing, and as she recounted the vision that had awoken her, clarity rose like the tide.

Minutes later, she was outside of Azriel’s bedroom door. She knocked quietly, unsure if he was even inside; she didn’t know if he was back from his mission, after all; didn’t know if he would return here or go to Velaris, especially given the way things had been left the last time they’d spoken. But the vision she’d just had took precedence over any residual animosity she felt about the situation. And Azriel was the only one she could speak to about it.

The door opened. Azriel stood there, wearing nothing but tight black undershorts, rubbing his sleepy, puffy eyes. His shadows were moving slower than usual, as if they too had been resting.

“Elain,” he said. “Good morning. I mean, good night? I mean—”

“I had a vision,” she interrupted.

He blinked. “Of what?”

“Pentalos. We need to go back there.”

Running a hand over his jaw, he said, “I just returned from there, Elain. I checked all the islands and still could not find a sign of the Autumn Court soldiers.”

“No. My vision wasn’t about the Autumn Court soldiers.”

His shadows stopped their lazy circles as Azriel’s eyes narrowed. “Then what was it about?”

Lifting her chin, she did her best to look authoritative to someone who was nearly a foot taller than her. “Take me there now, and I’ll show you.”

He frowned. “Now? It’s the middle of the night, Elain. I’m exhausted. You’re exhausted.”

“I’m feeling rather energized, actually.”

“We can’t just show up there, we need to plan ahead—”

“Why? It won’t take long. I know exactly where to go. You shadow-travel us there. We go where my vision told me to go, learn whatever it is I’m supposed to learn. Then we leave. Easy as pie.”

“You have clearly not been on enough spy missions if you think things will go that smoothly.”

“Please, Azriel. I need to go. Now.”

He closed his eyes for a long moment. When he opened them, she knew she had won. “Fine,” he grumbled. “Come in while I get dressed.”

She shut the door softly behind her. Azriel was halfway across the room, pulling out his Illyrian leathers from a dresser. Her mouth watered slightly at the sight of his broad, toned back, the shoulder muscles jutting out like mountain peaks. She shook her head and cast her gaze on the ceiling instead.

“I’m surprised you’re talking to me.” His voice was flat, level, but Elain could detect the slightest trace of trepidation. Like he truly had not expected her to want to speak to him. Whatever iciness she still felt toward him melted away in an instant.

“I’ve decided that you are not the one who deserves my anger, after all,” she said as lightly as possible.

He turned around, fully dressed now. His face was just as detached as his voice, but there was a curious glint in his hazel eyes.

“So you are not angry with me?”

“No. Are you angry with me?”

He frowned. “Why would I be angry with you?”

“I sort of…let Rhys have it last night. He knows that I know about Solstice, and even though I didn’t explicitly say you were the one who told me, he’ll probably figure it out. He might be angry at you.”

Azriel just shrugged. “I truly don’t care if he’s angry with me.”

“But you care if I’m angry with you?” She asked.

He stared at her with those unreadable eyes. “Yes.”

Her throat bobbed again, and her stupid, once-mortal heart started racing unreasonably fast as he approached her.

“Ready?”

Before she finished nodding, they were twisting away into the familiar, all-encompassing darkness.

***

With the golden wheel as a marking point, it was quite easy to find the seashell-coated building she’d seen in her vision. Up close, she could see now that it was some sort of shop. It looked even shabbier than it did in her vision. Ramshackle shutters framed dirty windows, creaking eerily in the sea breeze. A hand painted, wooden sign hung over the door, bearing the words “The House of Truth.” And underneath, in smaller font: “Fortune-Telling by the Esteemed Lady Margota.”

Azriel snorted. “A fortune-teller.” He shook his head. “This is a waste of time, Elain. Fortune-tellers are nothing more than frauds, wheedling money out of those desperate for answers they cannot provide. Besides, what more could this ‘Lady Margota’ tell you that you don’t already know? You are an actual seer, after all.”

“I’m not sure. Let’s find out, shall we?” And Elain led the way into the shop.

It looked less like a business and more like a storage unit for discarded items. There was barely any space to walk; she and Azriel were uncomfortably close as they wove around the countless knick-knacks littered throughout the room: threadbare poufs and sofas missing legs; chests made of decaying wood; a dusty old glass tank, taller than Azriel, filled with murky water. Elain shuddered, deciding she did not care to ever learn what kind of creature dwelled in that tank. Shelves lined the walls, candles of every shape, size and color upon them. The smell of sickly-sweet perfume hung in the air, stagnant and overwhelming.

A stooped, short male appeared behind the counter. “How can I help you?” He asked promptly.

“We’d like an audience with Lady Margota, if she is available,” Elain said, ignoring the glare Azriel sent her.

The male nodded. “Wait here a moment.” He turned to leave before spinning back around. “Don’t touch anything,” he warned, and then walked out the door he’d entered through.

“You think they’d consider a little organization if these objects are so valuable,” Azriel muttered. Elain bit her lip to hide her grin.

The male returned. “Lady Margota will see you now.” They followed him into a long hallway. At the end stood a doorway, framed by crimson, velvet curtains. The male pointed. “She’s just through there.” And without further ado, he returned to the storefront, leaving Azriel and Elain alone once again. They began to walk toward the curtains. They were almost there when Azriel’s hand shot out, grabbing her wrist.

“I have a bad feeling about this,” he said quietly, just in case someone was listening.

She wrenched her wrist away. “This place appeared to me for a reason.” Her voice was equally as hushed. “You can either come with me and find out what that reason is, or wait outside while I find out for myself,” she said, her teeth bared. Then she whipped around and pushed back the heavy curtains.

They entered a wide and circular room. Mismatched rugs, tattered and worn, covered nearly every surface of the floor. The heavily-perfumed air was marred slightly by the musty scent of mildew and mothballs.The only light came from the candles littering the circular table in the very center of the room and the triangular skylight directly overhead; the moon peered dimly through the dusty glass.

At the head of the table sat a female Fae. From her position, Elain could barely make out the female’s features, save for her eyes. They were green and cat-like in shape, curiously luminous. Something about them reminded her of Amren’s eyes, or the way they used to be, and Elain was suddenly sure that this was no ordinary Fae.  

“Hello, my dears,” the female said. Her voice was low and silky. “Sit with me, please.” A pale hand gestured to two open chairs. After exchanging a sideway glance, she and Azriel hesitantly sat down at the opposite end of the table. From this closer angle, Elain could now clearly see the female’s face. She was older for a Fae—at least twice Azriel’s age, if not more—but still classically, immortally beautiful. Raven-black hair hung in elaborate curls around sharp cheekbones, and those green eyes were even more fascinating up close.

“Hello,” Elain said. Her voice seemed to echo throughout the chamber, even though she’d spoken barely above a whisper.

“Welcome to the House of Truth. My name is Lady Margota.”

“My name is Sonia,” Elain said. No way in hell was she giving this female her real name. “And this is Roach.” Azriel did not even twitch a muscle at the ugly name, but a shadow surreptitiously poked her in the ribs.

“Sonia and Roach,” Lady Margota repeated. “Tell me, what brings you both here today?”

“I’m wondering if you could help me answer some questions I have. Questions about my magic.”

“Ah, on a quest to discover the truth of your abilities? I can certainly help with that,” she said sagely. “I’ve told many visitors all they want to know about themselves. Such is the gift of truth, which I possess limitlessly.” A long yellow nail pointed at them. “I will, of course, require payment.”

“Of course, how much do you—” Elain started, but Azriel interrupted her.

“You can cut the act,” he said angrily. “We don’t believe in fortune-telling.” Elain sent him an annoyed look. “You are not a true seer. Your trade consists of lucky guesswork and spooky ambiance. Why should we pay you for that?”

Lady Margota’s serene expression did not change, but the candles flickered ominously, as if a cold wind had blown through the room. “I am not a true seer, no. Nor do I pretend to be,” she said coldly. “My gift is something else entirely, but arguably just as valuable.”

“And what might that be?” He asked skeptically.

The Lady of the House of Truth rolled back her shoulders. Those strange green eyes seemed to glow a little brighter. “I am a Blood Oracle.”

Elain had no idea what a Blood Oracle was, but from the way Azriel immediately straightened up, one hand shooting to the hilt of Truth-Teller and the other spanning protectively across her waist, she knew it couldn’t be good.

“A Blood Oracle,” he snarled.

“You should take your hands off your weapon. It would do no good to start a fight when your friend is so close to the answers she craves.”

“We’re leaving, Sonia. Come on.” He stood up but Lady Margota spoke again. “I am not like the other Blood Oracle you have met. Or at least, I have not been that way in a long time. But you should know that, seeing as we are a nearly extinct breed. One that you helped eradicate. You are an Illyrian warrior, no?”

Azriel stared at her with dark, unreadable eyes. “The Blood Oracles went on a rampage. They ravaged villages, looted and plundered and killed,” he said finally. “We did what we had to do.”

“You’re right,” the Lady said. “We were out of control. But seeing as I am one of the few who survived, it must be because I stood down in the end, no? Turned against my own kind and was allowed to live because of it?”

Slowly, Azriel sat back down, but his eyes remained fully trained on the female.

“Will someone please tell me what a Blood Oracle is?” Elain asked.

“A Blood Oracle is a Fae whose powers allow him or her to read a person. To know the truths and secrets that make up their very essence.”

“What do you mean, read them? Like read their minds?”

“No. Blood Oracles are not Daemati, and vice versa. Our powers enable us to discover certain…attributes a person possesses. Attributes that they themselves might not even know.”

“How?” Elain’s eyes were wide.

The Oracle raised an eyebrow. “By tasting the blood of the person in question.”

Elain blinked in shock. Um. What ?

“You drink blood?” Her question was little more than a whisper.

“On occasion,” Lady Margota answered, waving her hand casually. “It is not a staple in my diet, if that’s what you are wondering. More like a dessert I get to indulge myself with every once in a while, especially these last few centuries. And don’t worry—I never drink much blood when I am reading someone.”

Deciding to move past the fact that the Fae who sat in front of her was a veritable vampire, she asked, “If you were to read me…what could you tell me? What information could you give me?”

“Oh, a plethora of things. I could tell you the color of your great-grandfather’s eyes. Recount the precise date of your very first moon blood. Discover what diseases you are particularly susceptible to. Discern how many sexual partners you’ve had, and which one brought you the most pleasure.” Elain went bright red, suddenly very grateful for the dimness of the room. “I can even tell you exactly what kind of magic lives inside of you. You see, our blood carries memories. It is our past and our present and our future written in one genetic code, flowing in our very veins. All it would take is one taste, and I could give you the answers about your powers that you so desperately seek.”

Lady Margota reached behind her and slowly pulled out a small silver knife. Azriel growled in warning. “Calm yourself, Roach,” the Oracle said dryly. She offered the hilt to Elain. “All you need to do is cut your palm—a nice, shallow cut, all the way across. Just enough so you bleed. And then… then you let me have a taste.” She smiled, and it made her stunning face look rather wicked.

“Sonia,” Azriel hissed. “I don’t like the sound of this.”

She ignored him. Her heart was beating fast. I could give you the answers about your powers you so desperately seek. Oh, gods above, she wanted those answers. Wanted the truth. Then another voice rang in her head, joining the Oracle’s. “Maybe you’ll become interesting at last, Elain.” Her sister’s cruel words still stung. But this was not about being interesting, not about impressing anyone. This was about discovering what she could do. Discovering what exactly she was capable of. As a Seer, as a Healer…as maybe something more.

A reckless abandon rushed through her. “Yes,” she whispered, and before Azriel could move, she grabbed the knife and ran it across her palm. The cut burned, but she ignored the stinging pain and held out her hand to the Oracle, watching in equal parts fear and fascination as a few drops of her crimson blood drizzled on the table.

She could feel Azriel’s gaze, fierce and scorching, burning a hole in the side of her head, but she didn’t care. No. All she cared about was finally getting the truth.

Lady Margota bent down, inhaling deeply through her nose. She closed her eyes and groaned slightly. “Your blood smells delicious.” Elain didn't even have time to process how weird that was when the Oracle latched her lips onto the cut. A gasp escaped her at the sudden burn, but a moment later it abated into a pulsing, rather pleasant pressure.

“That’s enough,” Azriel growled after a moment. Apparently Lady Margota agreed, for she lifted her head and opened her eyes. They were nearly as bright as the candles now. Like Elain’s blood had invigorated them.

“You taste as good as you smell,” the Lady told her, leaning back in her chair. A sated grin lazily crossed her face, her lips ruby-red. Elain was not sure what the hell she was supposed to say to that.

“So…what did you learn?” She asked.

“Your blood…it tastes powerful. Bright and citrusy and powerful . I’ve never tasted anything like it. Not in my thousand years of life. It is completely new to me.”

Elain frowned. “So you can’t tell me what my magic means?”

“I didn’t say that. Only that your blood is a unique sort of cocktail.” She tilted her head. “You taste like a healer, but you are…not a healer.”

"What do you mean I am not a healer? I’ve healed things before.”

“I’m sure you have. Your powers are similar to healing, but different, too. More ancient. Like finely-aged wine.” Those green eyes widened as some realization occurred. “Gods above,” she whispered. “You have…you have the gift of life,” she whispered.

Beside her, Azriel inhaled sharply. Elain blinked. “I don’t understand.”

The Oracle shook her head. “It is not for you to understand. It is for you to acknowledge. You will understand when it is time.” She glanced down at the table, where Elain’s bleeding hand still lay outstretched. Quick as a snake, the Lady of the House bent and tongued the cut. Elain snatched her hand back in alarm. Lady Margota licked her lips thoughtfully afterward, apparently ruminating on the taste. Suddenly, she froze. “You have another gift,” she whispered. Something dark and twisted slithered in the depths of her eyes. That same sinister smile blossomed on her face. Under the table, Azriel squeezed Elain’s knee in warning. A shadow whispered in her ear: We need to leave. Now.

“I don’t know what you are talking about,” Elain said. Her lips were dry.

The Oracle’s sneer grew more pronounced. “Don’t act like you don’t know, Kingslayer.”

A heartbeat later, a massive blast of green magic shot out of Lady Margota’s hands. Elain’s chair flew backwards; she was airborne for a terrifying moment. Then she hit the ground hard, headfirst. It was so loud, suddenly, a cacophony of sounds. Before she could even sit up, Azriel was in front of her, a swirling shield of sapphire power surrounding them. Lady Margota’s own emerald sorcery pushed against the shield, and over the powerful rush of magic echoing throughout the room, Elain could hear the female laughing, cruelly and chaotically.

“You’re too late! They will be here soon!”

“Are you okay?” Azriel yelled to Elain, his voice panicked. His siphons, all seven of them, were glowing. She nodded, even though her head was pounding, her vision going in and out. She stood on shaky legs, blinking furiously, pushing away the darkness that threatened to overtake her vision through sheer will. A stream of blood trickled down from her forehead. Her eyes met his. “Grab on to my—”

But he was cut off by a sudden blast of scarlet flames. The cobalt shield around them disappeared. Elain watched in horror as Azriel was thrown backwards, hitting the opposite wall hard. He slumped against the floor, knocked out. Or worse. Terror gripped her like she had never known, and she started to race toward him when someone grabbed her from behind.

“I’ve got her!” An unfamiliar male voice yelled. She was in a full-fledged panic now, screaming and kicking and praying to any gods that might be listening for Azriel to be okay, he had to be okay, he had to be. Another male stepped in front of her, wearing the signature armor of the Autumn Court. He was flanked by even more soldiers, all laden with weapons.

“We need to leave,” a soldier said. The Blood Oracle was still cackling. “Someone kill the Shadowsinger and let’s get out of here.”

Kill the Shadowsinger. No. No, they could not. They could not take him away from her. She would simply not allow it.

And then a voice spoke to her. It was different from any other inner voice she had listened to before. Not the sad and sorrowful one that worried she was not enough. Not the angry, resentful one that lived in the void of her heart. No, this voice was something entirely else, soft and soothing and full of something vital, something ancient. Like moonlight reflecting off the waves that lapped against the shore. This voice…it was as much a part of her as it was a part of everything else. The essence of eternity.

She closed her eyes, letting that voice fill her with courage. And when the voice told her what to do, she listened.

And opened her eyes.

The room filled with brilliant white light, blindingly bright. Waves of raw magic, as powerful as they were pure, exploded out of Elain, encompassing everyone and everything in the room. The table and chairs flew apart; the glass skylight shattered overhead. One moment the soldiers were standing; the next, they fell to the floor. They did not scream. They did not bleed.

The light faded seconds later. Seconds. That is all it took.

It was incredibly silent for a moment; then a low groan sounded from across the room. Elain sobbed in relief as Azriel sat up. Did not hesitate as she ran to him, as she cupped his face in her hands.

“Elain,” he rasped out. “What happened?” His dazed eyes widened in shock as he looked behind her and beheld the soldiers scattered on the floor. Dead.

“My gods,” he whispered. “You…you did this? You stopped them all?”

She nodded numbly.

“How?”

“I don’t know.” Her hands were shaking.

They both jumped when a grating voice spoke from the other side of the room. “You know,” Lady Margota said.

Azriel and Elain walked over to the Oracle. She was in a curled position on the floor, breathing heavily, one hand clutching her stomach. Her silk shirt was soaked through with blood, her own knife shoved deep into her side. It appears she had landed on it when the force of Elain’s magic threw her backwards.

“You almost got me, little witch,” the Lady said savagely. “My shield was strong enough to stop the death blow…but apparently my intestines weren’t so lucky,” she gestured ruefully to the wound. “Not quite powerful enough yet, but when you master that power…you will bring down mountains, girl. You will destroy and remake thrones.”

Elain just stared at the female, her expression unmoved. Next to her, Azriel slowly withdrew Truth-Teller. “You called those soldiers here,” he said flatly.

The Oracle grinned wide. Blood coated her teeth. “I did not have a choice. They wanted the Seer. It was nothing personal.” She coughed. More blood.

Elain clenched her fists. “We always have a choice.” Held Lady’s Margota’s gaze, sure and steady, as she said to Azriel, “Do it.” Did not look away, even when Azriel ran the knife across the Oracle’s throat, even as the light in those wicked emerald eyes faded away into nothing. When it was done, she took a few steps back, letting out a ragged breath. He joined her moments later, Truth-Teller still in his hand. Blood dripped off the tip of the dagger.

They looked at each other, alone among the dead. Pearly moonlight shone through the gap in the ceiling that used to be the window. The thrill of nearly falling into death’s velvety grip lent a surrealness to the moment, and it was that thrill, surely, it must be, that had her walking toward him.

His shadows floated a little further away with each step she took. Like they trusted her. Like they knew if anyone could take care of their master, it was her. She stopped about a foot away from him. Her heart thundered in her chest. His face, his very being ,was brighter than she’d ever seen it. He was beautiful in the darkness, but he was utterly stunning in the light.

The intensity of his gaze made her blood sing. He took a step forward, dropping Truth-Teller to the ground like it was nothing of importance. Their chests touched, leather against satin, rough against soft. Scarred fingers gripped her chin, tilting her head just so. His other hand wound itself in her long hair. It was almost exactly as it was that night. She could taste her pulse in the back of her throat. The scent of anticipation and desire was thick in the air, and she did not care about what she was or what magic she possessed. Did not care about the bodies, still warm, that littered the floor. All she cared about was the hungry, hooded eyes locked on hers. The lush lips that were so close to her own she could feel his hot breath.

It was all of it—the thrill of living when death had seemed inevitable, the dreamlike backdrop of the ruined room cloaked in moonlight, the carnal ache pulsing through her veins—that had her at long last, finally, closing the space between them and pressing her lips to his.

[rapspud]

Bittersweet

Bittersweet    A/N: Decided to rewrite this one. Please enjoy.

Yoongi looked at your friends as he sneered at your prone form sprawled out on the ground, your fingers scrambling to find your glasses.

“Aw what’s the matter? The poor baby can't see?” He purred as he picked up your glasses and dangled them in front of your face before throwing them into the dumpster. “Have fun diving!” He cackles as he slides past your prone figure, cruelly stepping on your hand as he passes.

You could hear the snickers of his friends behind you. You watched as his best friend, Seokjin clapped Yoongi on the shoulder, and whispered, “Oi, I get the whole I hate “y/n” thing but seriously—that was a bit much don’t you think?”

Yoongi  couldn’t believe what he was hearing, “She ratted us out! So I fixed it-and now she can’t see to snitch! And shouldn’t you be on my side? You’re in just as much trouble as I am!”

Seokjin could only look at Yoongi like he had a third head, “ Yeah I guess, but still...there is-” at Yoongi’s raised eyebrow he swallowed what he wanted to say, instead choosing to leave rather than to help Yoongi’s victim, “Hey I gotta go I’ll catch you later okay?”

Yoongi smiled and waved good-bye before walking away from the group. How could he possibly explain how much he hated Y/N? No one here knew the truth about your families-how he had to share a home with you,  your family serving his. He had no respite from you. Yeah, Y/N deserved everything she got, he thought as he got into his car. Plus it's not like you wouldn’t rat him out when you got home about what happened. This time as he drove past you and saw you hunched in on yourself, he couldn’t help but feel a twinge of guilt as he saw you clutching your injured hand, staring resolute at the dumpster, knowing full well that you would go in after the glasses. After all, he knew how hard your mother worked to buy them for you, he knew how you worked 2 jobs and also kept track of your younger brothers. Deep down, he really hoped that maybe this time you would finally explode and tell everyone about all the horrid acts he committed against you. 

Except that you never did tell on him. 

In fact, you avoid Yoongi like the plague.  After finally scrambling into the dumpster and reclaiming your glasses, you clambored back out, hand still screaming in pain. As you stand there wiping the garbage from the lenses and picking off random refuse from your clothes you honestly don’t think you can sink any lower than this. You swipe grimey hands at your cheeks as hot tears run down them, thankful that you are alone. And as you walk away you begin to make plans. You couldn’t keep doing this. And with renewed energy you begin walking home, not didn’t looking back choosing instead to forge ahead, putting one foot in front of another until finally you were in your mid=twenties, and had your own little place. You were happy with your life. But you should have known. All good things must come to an end eventually. You hadn’t thought about him in years, attending school, graduating, opening up a bakery with your best friend. Essentially you were hiding, but not really. 

And then by some ill stroke of luck, he found you.

You awaken to the blaring of your alarm with a groan. Was it really 8 am? The flashing numbers of your clock inform you that it was in fact 8:59. Shit you were late. Cursing your snooze butten, you scrambled out of your bed and grabbed the cleanest clothes you could find off the floor and stumble as you attempt a whole new balancing act: pulling up your pants while holding a hot cup of coffee and a piece of toast dangling precariously from your teeth. As you run down the street towards the bus, slinging your backpack over your shoulder while you scramble to tuck your shirt in you promptly run into a solid wall and fall on your ass. Your hair is covering your face as you look up at  what you had plowed into, an apology already leaving your mouth when you got to the face. “Um…hi, uh…sorry about that.”

“Y/N. From YHSN?”

“Yes?” you become wary, no one around here really knows you as you chose to keep to yourself…“Do I know you?”

The grin that spread across the man’s face could be described as nothing less than cruel and vicious. “Yeah, Y/N L/N right? I am here to inform you that you have 24 hours to vacate the premises. Good luck.” He stated before unceremoniously dropping an envelope onto your lap and turning on her heel to leave you in a stunned heap on the floor.

What the hell had just happened? Maybe you were still dreaming?

You were dazed for a moment as your brain tried to compute the absolute absurdity of what had just happened and then you were on your feet chasing the man, yelling at him to stop but he just kept on walking.

Finally catching up to the man, you grab her arm, “What the fuck man?” you yell, “this is illegal as hell! Thirty days is the minimum!” You shove the notice back at the man, hitting him in her (very solid) chest hard.

“Y/n, Y/n, I see you're still full of venom huh? It’s completely legal actually-you see I” he leaned forward, “own the building now. And to my delight, what do I learn? I find out that Y/N L/N happens to be a tenant! Guess how happy I was to finally find you again after all these years and then get to have you vacate your home.” he laughs as you gape at him like a fish.

“Min fucking Yoongi, I do not have time for your petty ass childish bullshit! ” you hers, voice laced with venom.

“Aw kitten you remembered! I am truly honored! But alas I cant stay and chit-chat, and well, neither can you. Tata chica!” With that he jerks her arm from your grasp, sending you back to the ground in shock for the second time that morning, before climbing into an expensive black car and driving away.

You scream curses to the sky, because after 8 peaceful years, the man you had spent so long  running from and then finally forgetting, had found you. But of course, the sky only decides to rain. And as you trudge back home to call into work, (because seriously fuck this day) you can’t help but wonder how everything came to this moment. After a shower and change of clothes, you fall into your bed, allowing yourself one moment of respite before you begin to tackle this new problem, closing your eyes.

You were back there again, trapped both in a small body and the cave that haunts you as you watch helplessly at the rising water. Your tiny voice is raised, tinted with fear, “I told you we shouldn’t come here! My mama said-“

The boy next to you cut you off, “Crying ain’t gonna fix it, I will save us”

“You can't even swim,” You yell, unable to remain calm. 

“I AM GONNA SAVE US!” the small boy shouted, “so don’t cry Y/N.” He gave you a small smile, one that made you feel slightly safer and he took hold of your hand. “Follow me and don’t let go no matter what.”

“Okay,” you say, for some reason feeling braver after placing your faith along with your hand into the boy’s hand. He said he would, so of course he would save both of you. After all, he was your best friend and you don’t pick losers.

It was a lot harder though, when all was said and done. Yes, the two of you made it out of the cave alive, but not without nearly drowning, and you had slipped and injured your ankle along the way. Luckily, you did make it out, and while the two of you spent a cold wet night huddled together on the beach, you were alive. In the morning, you were rescued further as the search teams found. And while your mother had you wrapped up in her warmth and was crying and thanking the people over and over that had saved you, the same welcoming was not happening to the young boy. You could hear screaming as a woman in a fine dress and her husband yelled at the boy, your tiny hero, before there was a loud smack. You watch as the boy falls, hand clenched to her face, tears streaming down her face as her mother continues to land hard blows upon her body until she is dragged away. You cried out for you friend and as the two of you met eyes, for the first time you saw hatred reflected back at you. That was the day Min Yoongi stopped being your friend and became your tormentor.

He followed you everywhere, taunting you, breaking your things, and ultimately breaking you. Your mother finally quit working for her house the day he’d thrown your glasses into the garbage and you had come home, broken glasses in hand, face streaked with tears and reeking of garbage -you had finally confessed what had happened, what all had been happening. You had moved away, your mom working several jobs and then as well as yourself working, then you working to  pay your way through chef school and finally moving out into your own place. And all of it had just been destroyed because he found you.

You sigh looking up at your ceiling letting your anger consume you as you curse Min Yoongi to a lifetime of diarrhea. And an itchy butt. And you hoped her eyebrows fell out, just for good measure.

You look around your apartment one last time before closing the door with finality. this asshole, you think to yourself. “Just wait” you say as you look down at the address your brother had just texted you.

An hour later you stand before a gated house and ring the doorbell. And ring it. And ring it. And continue ringing it (after all it was nearly 6 am, and as you had learned that morning, if you want to ruin someone's day, do it first thing in the morning) until a sleepy figure stumbles outside and smacks your hand away. You take this opportunity to dart inside the gate and into the house carrying your things with you.

“What the hell do you think you're doing?” Yoongi yells at you from outside, beginning to stomp back to her front door. You could only grin as you take in the pajama bottoms and robe, while you stand there like a goddamn Amazonian queen, “You took my home. this is payback.” and then you dialed the police, “Yes? Officer? There’s a half naked man on my lawn, please send help! I’m so scared”

You couldn’t help the grin that covers your face as you smile at Yoongi, “Good luck asshole.” You say sweetly, before slamming the door in her face. Nothing had ever sounded so sweet as the sound of the lock turning over, followed a second later by desperate pounding at the door. And Yoongi could only pound on the door until the cops showed up and he explained that this was, in fact, her home, as well as that the intruder was actually you. The officers had asked him if he wanted you arrested and for once he let it go, telling them that you were having a lovers quarrel and apologizing that they had to come out over something so silly. As the cops pulled away, he went to the back of the house and slammed the sliding glass door open only to find the house seemingly empty. As he walked from room to room he couldn’t help but get angrier and angrier. But when he found you passed out on her bed, he paused, somehow her anger dissipating instantly. He stood there, looking at your sleeping body and wondered if you would ever know her real feelings for you. If he would ever be able to tell you. And the real question: could you forgive him? He knew it was asking a lot, but he could only hope. He sat and thought about how to express to you the things he needed to say. He wondered how exactly did one explain how guilty he felt about how he treated you, how he didn’t really understand why he went out of her way to make your life miserable back then…and then you had left him. How, when you left he realized just how broken he was inside. When he bought the building he couldn’t believe her luck when he saw your name as one of the tenants, but her old ways came back hard and for some ungodly childish reason he couldn’t control himself. That he should have been apologizing that morning and telling you how thankful he was that it had also brought you back to him. He guessed that it was far too late for him to ever have your forgiveness and he couldn’t help the smile that played on her mouth as he approached the bed. He reached out a hand to smooth back some hair that covered your face when you wherpered, “Yoongi...” he stilled, “…I’m sorry” you mumbled. What could you possibly be sorry for? He couldn’t help it, but it made him angry that you would apologize to him after everything he’d done and especially while in such a vulnerable state that the next thing he knew he was grabbing the blanket and ripping it away from your curled form. It’s momentum  sends you over the edge of the bed to land in a heap on the floor. You sit up cursing her very existence,

 “What the hell Y/N?!” He yells right back, while you could only manage to stare up at him from where you sat on the floor. But this time you weren’t having any of her bullshit. You jump up and get in her face “ What the hell? What do YOU mean what the hell? Who the hell buys a building solely to evict one person?! Are you that rich? Do you hate me that much?”

Yoongi yelled back, “Hell yeah I do!“ 

"You have issues, Min Yoongi! I did nothing to you except be born! Do you know how hard I worked to forget what you did to me? And you come just back,” you pause, swallowing thickly, you would not cry. Not here. Not now, “But not anymore! I won't let you break me again Yoongi. I am worth so much more than that!”

Exhausted, you  move to push around him but he grabs your wrists instead and pins you against the wall.

“Let me go you asshole!” you yell at him fighting back for once in your life, all while trying to hide your face and the tears that were no longer just threatening to spill over. “Can't you just hate me from a distance? I’m sorry your mom was a horrid cunt to you! I’m sorry, okay! But please, just let me go! Leave me alone” And then her hands were gone, and you were free. You couldn’t help it, you looked up and stared him in the eyes, for once determined to make him see how he wrecked you.

Yoongi could only stare at you, watching as the tears fell, tears once again caused by him, and then he heard the five words that ripped open her wounds, words he knew he deserved, said in a voice so broken he didn’t know where he should start to even attempt to repair it.

“I hate you Min Yoongi.“

He couldn’t stand it, he knew he deserved them but he just couldn’t stand there and just accept them. Accepting those words would be like giving up, and giving up probably the only pure thing he still had in her life. Had. And so he moved, not thinking about consequences, only a desire to cleanse those words from the air around him. He grabs you again, pushing you against the wall, capturing your face in one hand, forcing you to meet her eyes, while he brushes your hair away with the other, "Good. Never forget it.”

And then he crashes her mouth against yours.

You didn’t know how what was happening was happening and some stupid part of you was excited to have him pressed against you,  mouth was moving against yours and then you were responding and for some reason it felt so good–like coming home. It was like your body suddenly was against everything you wanted-you found yourself wrapping your arms around her neck and pulling him closer, deepening the kiss, a giggle bubbling up when you nipped at her lip and he groaned. and then you both were tearing at each other's clothes in desperation. And then the world stops making sense. You and Min Yoongi, enemy of the state #1 were having sex. And it was good. It felt so right, like you two had been made to fit each other only. When it was over he lay behind you, placing gentle kisses along your neck and down your collar bone. The last thing you remember before falling asleep in your enemy’s arms was Yoongi gently wherpering a muffled “I’m sorry” into your ear over and over.

When you wake, you are surprised to find an arm wrapped around your waist and you freeze as the memories of the night before come rushing back and you begin to mentally beat yourself up as you carefully slide out of the bed and grab your clothes, making a mad dash out of the house, dressing yourself along the way.

No way had you slept with Yoongi and enjoyed it. You were an idiot of the highest order. You slept with the man who wanted you homeless because he hated you.

You let out a deep sigh as you did a very new special walk of shame to your job, where your boss, Mandi greeted you by yelling, “Oi ! What cat pissed in your cheerios?”

Causing the other workers to laugh until you pinned them with your patented Crazy-eye ™, at which point they scurried away except for that moron Seokjin who slung his arm around your shoulders jovially, “So why is my favorite girl doing the walk of shame?”

You glare and shrug his arm off, “None of your business.” 

“Dude its obs-you’re like a whole 4 hours late-and you are never late. So what happened? Anyone I know?”

“You’ll just call me an idiot if I tell you.”

“I swear on cake I won't.”

You raise an eyebrow before saying a name you never thought you’d say just to see him eat his words. “Min Yoongi.”

“Shut the front door! You’re an idiot”

“The cake is ashamed of you and asks that you keep your distance.” You say as you move to the back rooms to put away your belongings.

Not giving up, Seokjin follows you, even going so far as to hand you your apron, “Seriously? Didn’t he like-”

“Terrorize me to the point of moving? Then find me years later and evict me? Yep.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah.”

“You okay?” Seokjin asked worriedly, For the shit talking between the two of you, you smile to know he does really care.

“I have to be.”

“Did you at least use a condom?” He asks.

“Oh my god.”

“You really are an idiot. But don’t worry…you know I’ve got your back right? Well, we’ve got your back.”

You could only stare at Seokjin as your mind whirls through the consequences of last night, “It should be fine right?” you ask.

“Sure, cupcake. Keep telling yourself that”

There is a ding from the door and you see your brother Jungkook shuffles in with your other brother Namjoon, and giving Seokjin a look that clearly says “Keep your mouth shut if you want to live” you take a deep breath and head behind the counter to wash your hands, greeting them as you go.

“COFFEE. COFFEE NOW.” Namjoon grunts demandingly, taking a seat and burying her head in her hands,  while Jungkook adds a half-hearted “Please…and a raspberry jelly for me.”

“Rough night?” You ask as you pour the two men coffee and grab Jungkook her donut and slide it in front of them.

Jungkook grins, “Nah, Joon thought he could out drink me. He thought wrong.”

“Shhhhhhhhh!! You’re so loud,” hersed Namjoon, shoving a hand at Jungkook’s face and missing entirely.

You grin and speak extra loud, “Shouldn’t you know by now to let the kids drink and you go home and sleep?”

Namjoon just glares at you, “I have a gun.”

“I aint scared of you.”

The shop bursts into laughter as Namjoon buries her head in her arms on the counter, “Why do you hate me so much?” He whines.

“Mom likes you more, and I’m a petty bitch.”

Jungkook grins, “But she likes me most!”

Both you and Namjoon glare at him, “Shut up!”

Yoongi wakes up to an empty bed and he frowns, crawling out of bed and pulling on her boxers. He wanders around the house looking for you, hoping that you haven't run away and when he can’t find you, her heart sinks. Was he that awful that you would still run away from him even after what you had shared? And worse, what if he had gone too far this time?

He makes her way back to her room and grabs her phone, calling her secretary.

“Yo.” Answered Hoseok.

“Really that’s how you answer the phone? You do know that I am your boss right?”

“Debatable today.”

Yoongi rolls her eyes, “Anyways, I need you to find someone…”

“Well you know Imma need a little more…”

“Y/N. You remember her right?”

“You mean the girl you tortured in school because you didn’t have the balls to tell her how you lurrrrrrrved her.”

“I see you wish to die today.”

“No, not today. So you wish for me to find your wayward love?”

“Yeah.”

“Mandi’s shop.” Hoseok cheerfully replied, as if this should be common knowledge. 

“Oh yeah, great idea bring me some coffee please?”

“No, you idiot, Y/N works there. She is actually her partner” Hosoek irritatingly says matter of factly.

“The hell?! Why do you know this but I don’t?”

“Dude, seriously? You do know they were friends growing up and just because you made her run away by being a complete ass doesn’t mean they stopped being friends.”

“My best friend and my sister have been lying to me.” 

“It’s not lying when you never asked. But Yoongi…you should let her go. It’s been a long time and I know you had feelings but with how you treated her–“

"She was here.” Yoongi grunted, running a hand over her face as he stood in her closet trying to think of what to wear. What says “I come in peace”? Maybe he could get Hoseok to dress up as Spock and talk to Y/N before he does. 

“What? And you’re alive?”

“Yeah. We…um…she was gone this morning,” Yoongi sits down on her bed, running a hand through her hair.

"Oh…” and as realization hits, Hoseok intones sagely,” ...oh my god you’re fucking moron.”

“You know I can fire you.”

“Please bitch, I know all your deepest darkest secrets you ain’t gonna fire me.”

“Just…shit…what should I do?” Yoongi asks, finally letting go of her big bad boss act.

“Dude, I don’t know. You slept with her…maybe you should just…”

“I um…fucked up more than that…” He thinks about how you had felt, how he had felt...how absolutely perfect it had been for just one night, A flicker of fear strums through her heart at the thought that this was not salvageable at all. 

“No. no way. Our friendship is over.” Hoseok cracks from the other side of the phone.

“Just help me okay?” 

There was a long pause before he heard a heavy sigh, “Fine, but no games. She has a good thing going on and you-”

“I swear it's different this time!” Yoongi pleads. 

“Whatever. I should warn you though.”

“Warn me about what?”

“Her brothers.”

“Namjoon and Jungkook? We were old friends, what about them?”

“You were old friends until they found out how you treated her. And bonus points-they are both cops now. Partners even, so you should probably pray for your soul.”

With a groan, Yoongi finally gets up and begins to get dressed putting Hoseok on speakerphone. “I’m so dead.”  

“Yep,” affirms Hoseok, “So does that mean I can have your stuff?” 

Rolling her eyes and thinking he really needs a new assistant, Yoongi growls out“See you at the office.” only to hear Hoseok laughing before he hangs up the phone. 

Yoongi finishes getting dressed, and running a hand over her face as he contemplates this new information. You’d been right under her nose the entire time and everyone had kept it a secret. He guessed he deserved it though, he was a complete and utter ass to you. He also guesses it’s time to make it up to you and hopefully, you would forgive him and let him into your heart, where he belonged. After all, you’d always been in his.

2 months later

Yoongi stands outside her (former) sister’s shop watching as you serve your customers, and realizes sadly that it was the first time in a long time that  he’d really ever seen you smile. He wanted that smile for himself and himself alone, but he wasn’t sure how to get it. When he had remodeled your former apartment, expanding it through the two vacant units on either side of you, you just got mad at him for evicting you, when he was just redoing the apartment and you claimed it was far too large for you by yourself now. But that was the point wasn't it? He was hoping that somehow you would just...come back to him on your own and he wouldn’t really have to put any work in. Yoongi realizes then that he is an absolute dumbass.

After all, nothing he’d done so far had managed to make you smile at him or hell just give him the time of day and he was beyond frustrated. Couldn’t you see how hard he was trying for you?

Mandi pokes her head out of the shop interrupting his train of thought,

“What the hell are you doing here?” she snaps at him.

“Wow, do you greet all your customers like this?”

“Yoongi. Listen. Whatever it this is about now isn’t–”

Realization hits for the second time that morning, “Were you ever going to tell me?”

Mandi pauses, looking him up and down, “There’s nothing to tell if you already know.”

He could almost feel the metaphorical walls slamming down around him as Mandi went on guard. “Mandi!”

“No. Not about ther.”

“I’ve known for almost a month.”

“Then you should go know somewhere else.”  Mandi stepped outside, becoming a most effective blockade. If someone was to ever wage war against his sister, his money, hell, his entire fortune would be on Mandi.

“Listen, you’re my brother and I love you and I know you know what you did wrong, and really it's sweet you want to make amends but …Yoongi, sometimes things…”

“I slept with her.”

“Do you want a trophy?” Mandi snapped, her fists clenched, before she  shook her head, “you have five seconds or I’m opening ther door and I’m calling her brothers out here.”

“We didn’t use protection.”

“Well then I guess today you die you little fucking weasel.”

“I love her.”

That’s when he remembered his sister’s left hook and then the lights went out.

Mandi stomps into the store grabbing you by the arm and dragging you upstairs ignoring your protests, shoving you into the bedroom and giving you a look reserved for her son’s Taehyung and Jimin when they are acting up. “Stay.”

Mandi goes back downstairs and motions Namjoon and Kookie over, “Listen, I know you hate Min Yoongi with like the passion of 7 fiery suns but I need you to hold that rage in and help me get his ass inside.”

Namjoon was already up and out the door at the sound of Min Yoongi’s name, and seconds later was dragging a barely conscious Yoongi in by the collar. While Kookie held open the door, Namjoon made sure Yoongi purposely whacked his head on the door frame and when Mandi winced he gave her a look that clearly said “sorry not sorry” before dropping Yoongi on the shop floor like the sorry sack of shit he thought he was.

“I’m sorry folks,” Mandi announces, “due to my crazy family, the shop will be closing early.”

The patrons all scrambled out of the shop while Jungkook handcuffed Yoongi to a chair and dumped a cup of ice water on him.

Yoongi jerked back, fully awake now and met by 3 pairs of eyes. 3 very angry pairs of eyes. He shook his head and tried to move but found himself handcuffed to the chair and he gives Mandi a look that says “Really?”

“Kook uncuff him. Seriously. And you and Joon leave.”

“No.”

“Did I stutter?”

“Okay, but we get dibs if you decide to kill him.” Jungkook, grumbles as he undoes the handcuffs.

“I’m not going to kill him. Today.”

“Fine.”

Jungkook finishes unlocking the cuffs and Yoongi immediately rubs at his wrists and watches warily as Jungkook and Namjoon leaves the shop, rolling his eyes when Jungkook gives him the international sign for “I’m watching you” while Joon drew his thumb across his neck. They were dramatic as fuck, but then again he might just be dramatically fucked.

Mandi pulls up a chair and sits across from Yoongi and stares at him for several long moments until Yoongi breaks the silence, “Just say it.”

“Why?”

“It just happened like that.”

“Bullshit.”

Yoongi sighed, “I’ve grown up since then. I no longer want to pull her hair.”

“Clearly. And you didn’t just pull her hair, you did a lot worse.”

“Shouldn’t you be on my side?”

“I am fucking Switzerland.”

Yoongi couldn’t help the anger that swelled up and choked him, “Clearly not. You knew where she was all these years and you never said anything. This is why you never let me come to the shop then? You knew I was looking for her, that I wanted-”

“Of course,” interrupted Mandi. 

“Why?”

“Because you are an idiot who doesn’t know how to communicate. Look at what happened--when you did find her, your first action was to take her home. Who fucking does that shit?”

“You’re right, I was. I was cruel and spiteful. Keyword: was.”

“Bullshit. Taking away her home wasn’t because you were being spiteful. You wanted what she had. That’s called envy. She left because she wanted to live, and the only way she could was to leave. You made it like this. I almost lost my friend. So of course I kept it a secret.” Mandi sighed, rubbing her hand over her face. “Look I know. I know what y

our mom and dad did. How they treated us. We were mere points on a checklist of creating a picture perfect family. But you had no right-”

“I was stupid. You think I don’t know? That I don’t regret it? I love her. I always have.”

“Actions-”

“Speak louder than words I know. I’m trying to fix that now!”

Mandi closes her eyes, debating her next few words  "Can I trust you? That’s the-“ ”

“Yes. I swear I'll spend my life…”

“Doing what?” You interrupt, “Sorry, since you seem to be discussing me I couldn’t stay put,” you say to Mandi. “Yoongi I don’t want your money and if you are worried because we didn’t…,” you swallow before continuing with a brave face, “....I’ll be fine. but you really have to stop sending me presents. I don’t want them. Can’t you just stay…”

“Y/N I’m sorry. I was an ass.”

“Still an ass.” Mandi interrupts, “Look, you two clearly need to talk this out so I’m out. Come on Seokjin, let’s go see a movie.”

With that Seokjin and Mandi beat a hasty retreat leaving the two of you alone.

“Your jaw is swelling.” You say after noticing the blossoming bruise that marred his handsome face. Handsome? What the hell were you even thinking?

“Mandi hit me.”

“Why?”

“I told her what happened. She’s very protective of you.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Y/N…that night…I shouldn’t have that.”

“I let you. It wasn’t just you alone.”

“Please, just listen. I’m sorry. For everything. And I’m sorry for not saying that when we met again. It's just…”

“It's just..what?” You questioned, meeting his eyes. 

“I don’t know. When I look at you I want you. You are so good and pure and you deserve the world. I wanted you to myself but I was scared…”

“Scared of?”

“You.”

“Me?” You scoff at the idea of anyone being afraid of you.

“Yeah,” Yoongi stood and walked over to you. “You had everything even though you had nothing. Brothers who worshiped you, a mother who did everything for you…what if I ruined that? What if my mother-”

“How would you ruin that?” You ask, finding patience from who knows where.

“I was messed up…and the older I got the worse…things got worse. You saw, you can’t pretend you didn’t. I took out my suffering on you because nothing good could possibly exist and you were just hiding your real nature. But you never retaliated. You kept reaching out to me over and over again. ”

“But I did retaliate.”

“By locking me out of my house after I took yours? Not really. I mean…I deserve far worse,” chucked Yoongi. He wanted so badly to touch you, to pull you into his arms and just...feel you. 

You stare at Yoongi. This broken version of Yoongi with tears in his eyes. Could you trust him? You wanted to give him a chance.

“Let’s….go on a date.”

Yoongi’s eyes widened, “What?”

“You like me right?”

“Well–I mean–I did when I was—I do”

“Take me on a date, final offer going in one–two..”

“Fine! I’ll take you on a damn date,” Yoongi smiles.

“No fancy shit tho. $100 limit.”

“I’ll take you on the best damn date of your life!”

“Good.”

Yoongi didn’t know why he was being snippy now, but as he left the shop he couldn’t help but do a little cheer when he got into his car. Hoseok rolled his eyes and politely ignored him.

Yoongi stood at the door of your apartment, and for the first time in his life he hesitated, hand poised to ring the doorbell, and then you swung open the door and suddenly the world stopped. You looked amazing. Your hair was curled, makeup accenting your eyes perfectly, wearing black skinny slacks, a hound’s-tooth patterned sweater over a white button down and pink heels. He took in the perfection that was you and thought, “She was made for me.”

And the fear was gone as he smiled at you and he took your hand, interlacing his fingers with yours, “Are you ready to go?”

“Yeah let me grab my purse,” you say as you try to let go of his hand to grab the bag on the chair beside your front door but he wouldn’t let go. You couldn’t help the blush that blossomed over your cheeks as he stepped inside and grabbed the bag for you and waited for you to lock up so you both could leave.

He pulled you along, never letting go, until he reached his car and opened the door. It was only enough time for him to run around and get the car moving before he was locking fingers with you again.

“What’s up with you?” You smirk.

“Just…making up for lost time.”

“What?”

“I just…I should have been doing this for years now.”

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes, “So…are you always this cheesy?”

Yoongi’s eyes went wide, “I mean…I’m not…no…,” Yoongi stuttered and then stopped, “I guess I am cheesy it's just…I can tell you I’m sorry but…”

“Actions speak louder than words?”

“I see you have met my sister,” he joked softly, “And we’re here.”

“A movie? Really?”

“I always had wished to take you…”

Yoongi’s eyes stared into yours, “Yoongi…” you say timidly.

“Yeah?”

“I’m not her anymore you know? I grew up…you grew up…let’s leave it behind us and start fresh yeah?”

“What do you mean?”

You stick your hand out, “Hi, my name is Y/N. It’s nice to meet you.”

Yoongi stared at you you’d suddenly sprouted a third eye on your nose before awkwardly taking your hand and shaking it, “Min Yoongi…the pleasure is all mine.”

You can’t help but laugh at his stunned expression, not knowing he was just in shock from receiving your smile. To him, your smile in that moment could have powered a thousand suns. 

Yoongi was quiet but still took your hand and you entered the theater with a smile on your face, happy that things were getting better, that you could almost believe you had your first love back.

2 hours later.

“Yoongi,  why are you pouting?” You ask as you take his hand.

“Look no matter how I look at it, it's just not fair.”

“What’s not?”

“Mandi. Seokjin. They have spent years with you…years that should have been with me.”

“I thought we were moving forward.”

“But.”

You sighed. “Look. You want to know the truth?”

Yoongi stopped and stared at you, “yes.”

“Okay then.” You face him, “You crushed me in every way possible. You were my world. I followed you everywhere. I trusted you, and you were always there and then you weren’t. The night we got stuck in the cave I gave you my faith—but it also is and was the moment I gave my whole heart to you, willingly, without any doubt. And the next day when we were found…you stomped on it. And you continued to stomp on it. I cried so many tears everyday because I hoped that one day my hero would come back. But he never did. He became a villain.” You couldn’t help the tears that fell down your cheeks, “And even through all that I still…” you sighed. “I can't do this Yoongi. I can't. I’m sorry,  I was wrong to try.” You turned on your heel and ran away, ignoring him yelling after you, you just ran until you couldn’t hear him anymore. 

And then you found the alcohol.

You sat at the outside bar drinking as you thought about the past two months. All the things you had done with Yoongi , and how disgusted you were with yourself for letting your old feelings come back so easily. You knew it wasn’t the right choice, but it was the one you wanted. You had decided to drown yourself in alcohol,  and you were on your third bottle when the object of your conflicting emotions, sat down across from you.

“Y/N.”

“Mmm?”

“What are you doing?”

“Drinking!” Your giggle turns to a frown when you hear the heavy sigh come across from you, “Are you judging me? It’s not nice to judge you know! “

“Why are you drinking Y/N?”

“Because,” you leaned forward, whispering conspiratively, “I’ve been bad.”

“Bad? How so?”

You sigh dreamily, a wistful smile playing upon your lips, “There’s this guy…”

“There always is.”

“Shhh! This is my story!” You shout.

“Sorry.”

“Where was I?” 

“Something about a guy…”

“SHHHHHH! So rude interrupting me! Anyways…I’m supposed to hate him but…” you thump your chest hard as tears prick your eyes, “But…”

“But what?”

“I can't…I remember him before…and the him that I remember…he’s still there…and all the warning alarms are going off and I’m so scared to love him but I…I think…”

“You think?”

You lay your head on the table, mumbling, “Think it’s too late…think I love him. Think it has always been too late for me. Even after all the bullshit…you see…he’s still here” You thump your chest hard and sigh as you feel the tears slide down your cheek to land on the table, “ I love him and I don’t want to…I didn’t mean too…”

“Mean to what?” 

“To love him, but…”

“You do.”

“Yeah” you whisper softly.

“Yoongi…” you can feel the man smile, you don’t know how you know but you do, “why do I have to love you?”

“You love me?” He asks, the hope wrapped in fear in his voice twisting your heart even more than all the past crap that had happened. You wanted to let it go. You wanted to love him. You can only nod your head as your eyes slide close, and you struggle against the darkness when you hear him whisper, “I love you too Y/N…I’m just scared…I’m not good enough…I was such an ass…and I know you said to let it go…but God Y/N…I should have treated you like a princess…because the truth is…”

Those words cause you to sit up, eyes squinting hard as you try to make out his face, “Yoongi?”

“Yeah?”

You lean forward and his face comes into focus, a smile spreads on your face and you lean forward to press your lips to his, softly at first, and then he responds, a hand sliding up your arm to cup your neck as you express to him what you can’t say in words. This was so much better than petty arguments and revenge pranks.  

You pull away, breathing heavy as you rest your forehead against his, “Yoongi,” you whimper, keeping your eyes firmly on the buttons of his shirt, scared to look up, scared to see the fear in his eyes. Does he not know?  “Can I…can I be yours?“ You ask in a voice so quiet it is almost lost in the noise of the world that surrounds you. 

"Can you forgive me?” The pain in his voice was sharp. “I forgive you.” You whisper into his mouth as you make promises with your lips.

He pulls away for a moment, and you lock eyes finally. “Then believe me when I say, I was always yours, and you were always mine.” 

“I was?”

The amount of disbelief in your voice causes Yoongi to tear up as he pulls you into his arms, “Kitten?”

“Yeah,” you say as you rest your head into the crook of his neck, breathing in his scent.

This time it was his turn to ask, “Am I yours?”

“You always were Yoongi. I was just waiting for you to remember where home was.”

Yoongi places the softest of kisses on each of your eyelids, and then he kisses away your tears and finally his mouth was on yours, and the kiss was full of yearning. “Y/N.”

“Yes?” You ask, sad he had pulled away. 

“Don’t leave me again…I love you too.”

“Okay.”

[brandstifter-sys]

Closing Hours

@dukexietyweek Day 3 - Coffee Shop

Word Count: 1051             (Ao3)

Pairing: Dukexiety 

Rating: T

Warnings: Food mention, mental illness mention

Remus runs a local cafe, and he loves charming his customers, but his customer service schtick doesn’t work on everyone, including the one doctoral student who caught his eye. Fortunately he has another way to win Virgil over despite his defense mechanisms!

---

Remus was never one to give a fuck about getting fancy coffee, but he was a pro at making it, and putting on a show. He loved working at the seedy little café that he lived over, and he loved getting the late shift when all the stressed college kids came to use the wifi and cram. So what if he didn't have the money or drive for college himself? He learned more from those students than he could imagine—including that his customer service charm didn't work on everyone. 

He was just cleaning up after handling a long string of orders when one of the regulars came in with his laptop, ready to suffer through more graduate work in the quiet of the empty café. Remus didn't know his name but he knew that face anywhere! 

"Hey there Scare Bear, what can I get you today?" 

"The usual," he said and reached for his pocket, already set to pay. Remus shook his head. 

"You can get your iced green tea with raspberries on the house—if you tell me your name," Remus hummed and winked at him. The man was blushing under that white foundation and dark eyeliner, which was pretty normal. 

"You would find a way to stalk me and murder me if you had that information," he huffed, "Hard pass." 

"I know I'm creepy and unsettling, but that hurts. I don't even creep on you when you're here!" 

"Yesterday you said you could bounce marbles off my ass with no problem." 

"Yeah but it came up in conversation, so try again." 

"You tried to give me a free slice of cake when this place was empty and felt up my back." 

"I could get away with giving away some cake!" Remus chuckled, "And you really want to call me putting my hand between your shoulder blades and not moving 'feeling you up?' I won't do it again, but that's a safe touch!" 

"Just ring up the tea." 

"Just for that, no, it's on me! Honestly it's like you just want to find excuses to mark me as a total creep but you don't really want to because you keep coming back and talking to me!" Remus teased before going to mix the drink. 

The man was stunned into silence and sat down at his usual table. He pulled out his computer and got busy with his work instead of thinking about the handsome barista catching on to his schtick. It was easier to summarize his case study results and delve into the troubled minds he wanted to help.

He was immersed in his writing pretty quickly. He didn't notice the clock ticking away. Eventually he was oblivious to that fact that no one else was in the café other than that barista, until the chair across from him slid on the tile, forcing him to look up. 

"You didn't come and get your tea, so I drank it and made you a fresh one!" Remus said and sat down holding a plastic cup of iced tea. 

"Thanks," the man flushed and took the tea, "How long have I been here?" 

"A couple hours—it's after closing time, but I figured you needed the quiet to work on your research paper." 

"Shit it's that late?" 

"Yeah, but don't sweat it, Virgil, you take the time you need!" Remus smiled and leaned back in his chair, "Everything is cleaned, counted, and prepped for the morning!" 

"What did you call me?" Virgil nearly choked out. 

"Your name, silly!" Remus teased, "Don't think Roman keeps his mouth shut about the best almost-doctor he has to deal with!" 

"How long did you know that?" Virgil asked, biting his lower lip. Remus' smile relaxed and he leaned on the table. 

"Since the beginning of the study, but I was gonna wait til you told me so I could act surprised to find out you were the main guy therapying my stressed, depressed brother!" 

"And you've been hitting on me since before that started, so what are you trying?" 

"To get to know the hot guy who always shows up because he's cool and I caught him watching Freaks when he was supposed to be working on some psychology stuff." 

"And then Roman broke his contract?" 

"He didn't reveal anything about the study, just that you're a little scary but really sweet and good at being a therapist. Oh and of course what you look like. He was hoping I would beg for him to set us up so I could stop whining about the hot customer who I have a crush on! I didn't have the heart to tell him that wouldn't work!" 

"You have a crush on me? Even after all the times I flat out rejected you?" 

"I can't control my feelings, just how I deal with them—I might be the perfect mess to be the subject of a case study myself, but I know a little bit about my mind!" Remus giggled, "And you kept coming back, instead of finding a different café to hide in for hours, so I didn't want to bother you too much!" 

"And you don't think you're bothering me now because?" 

"I told you it's after closing, so you would have left by now if I were. You have plenty of openings and excuses to leave if you want, but I don't think you do. I think you actually like talking to me, you want to be friends!"

"If you're the same Remus that Roman talks about, I can promise you that I might want to be more than just that," Virgil said shyly, "Maybe we could get lunch one of these days, if you don't mind taking an exhausted doctoral student on a date." 

"If you're free now, I know a great diner that's open 24/7, my treat," Remus suggested with a shrug. Virgil smiled at him—actually smiled—and shook his head. 

"I'm at least covering the tip," he said and packed up his computer, "if it's the diner on Archer street, I'm definitely not letting you handle everything." 

"No promises! But I can promise you'll have interesting company!" 

"Then let's go," Virgil said with a smile and got up. Remus beamed and led the way. Customer service charm didn't work but being honest and respectful sure did!

[darkvitas]

🌻

// OOC: Is this meme a free pass to gush about your favorites? It does say "whatever you want to talk about" so... as a result, I’m gonna talk about (one of) my oldies favorites. You know when I gush, I get long. And I apologise, but here we go. (Also if I get a fact wrong or if you have a source to add, pls let me know and I'll add it accordingly! I'm still learning.)

This is the Big Bopper. His real name is Jiles Perry Richardson, Jr, born in Sabine Pass TX, (October 24, 1930 - February 3, 1959). Friends called him Jape! You may or may not know him from his songs Chantilly Lace, or White Lightning. Anyway, he was rock n' roll, rockabilly, etc, in the '50s. Not only was he known for those songs, he was probably also known for being on the ill-fated Winter Dance Party tour, the tour that ended up taking the lives of him, as well as Buddy Holly & Ritchie Valens, among other things. But... The reason why he's a favorite of mine is because, compared to Ritchie and Buddy (who are also favorites, Buddy especially more so) I feel like he's overlooked, in my opinion, & I want to give him more recognition. Maybe he is overlooked, or maybe he isn't. That's just how I feel. If you feel differently about that, then that's okay! I just learnt more about him, and he became a musical favorite also. He is more known because of his exuberant and "comical" (if you want to call it that)? character in his songs, but there are other songs that show another side of him that are very nice, such as "Beggar to a King", "Someone Watching Over You", "The Clock", or "Strange Kisses". Now, Bopper here was also a DJ for the radio station KTRM, so you can hear that in his voice in some of his tunes: deep, smooth. His voice is very satisfying to listen to, for me, when it comes to his more serious songs at least. Back during his time, he also set the record for on-air time, according to Wikipedia, for "a total of five days, two hours, and eight minutes". Another neat thing about Jape is that he once mentioned "a tape device you hook to your TV -- long before VCRs -- and watch your favorite music video by your favorite music artist." It's amazing to think about how he was even thinking of things like that, during that era. Apparently also he was one of the first pioneers... of the music video... from what I've read. I also saw somewhere that on KTRM, he played Elvis' records also, but I forgot the source for it. Elvis DID, however, send a special wreath to his funeral. That's pretty big. (Edit: You can read about Elvis & The Big Bopper here!) He graduated from Beaumont High School in 1947, was also in the army as well, studied prelaw at Lamar University in Beaumont, TX, and played American football. To be honest, I'm astonished to know that he isn't in the Rock n' Roll Hall of Fame, while Buddy and Ritchie are. Buddy has a statue in his hometown, a museum, I'm sure Ritchie has things dedicated to him as well. I mean, a post office in his hometown is being renamed in dedication of him. I looked into things for Bopper in his area, but I've not really seen anything for him, besides a marker telling you about him at his gravesite, which is a good start, but to me, more needs to be done in my opinion. Maybe I've just not looked deep enough to see if there is more there in dedication of him? Not sure. I did see that a statue was in the works, but I didn’t see any updates on it... I just think he deserves to be in the RnR HoF. He was very talented. Maybe one day.

To read more on Bopper: x & x

[bytheangell]

Hi!! I loved a lot your last Gabrily fic, and if you are still open to requests can I suggest one about them finding out they were having another kid so long after the other two? Baby Alexander barely gets mentioned eventhough he is the person Alec is named after, maybe at some point he did something great who know. I always find it curious how they reactions could have been to have another one so long after Christopher.. Ofc if this sits right with you and feel like it, thank uu

Breaking the News  (Read on AO3)

Cecily is thankful that Will and Tessa agreed to take Anna and Christopher to stay with them for the remainder of the day. Her thoughts bounce wildly from nervous to excited to total panic and everything in-between as she paces back and forth across the bedroom floor. Alone in the house until Gabriel arrives home in a few short hours, she wanted the time to come to terms with the news she got that morning and sort through her thoughts. Now that she has the time, she can’t sort through anything at all.

It doesn’t help that she’s been sick. That was the first hint that something was wrong, she suspected what may be the cause of her sudden recurring nausea and weakness, though she hardly dared to believe it. After spending the better part of the past week exhausted and obviously ill, Anna brought one of the Institute’s healers around to check on her, which was when they confirmed what she already partially guessed.

Except now that Cecily knows for certain that she’s pregnant with her third child, it’s quite the shock to process, with or without the distractions of two other children in the house.

She knows her initial doubts are mostly from the surprise of it all. Cecily likes being in control, and this is something she has no control over. This is happening, whether she wants it to or not, and even though she knows it’s a blessing the fact that she didn’t specifically choose to do this here and now throws her entire sense of being off-balance, enough for doubt to creep in. What if it isn’t just shock?

But that’s absurd. She loves her children, and she loved - and still loves - every moment of raising them. The chance to do all of that again is, while still a shock, a happy one. At least, it will be once she manages to get back in control of her racing thoughts and emotions.

Anna and Christopher are both teenagers now, sixteen and thirteen respectfully, and that fact isn’t lost on her. A new baby means 24/7 attention, days of constant needs and care that she thought were behind her. What if she thinks she can handle it but once the child is here she grows too overwhelmed tending to a newborn and two teenagers? Realizations like this are when the fear kicks in - she’s 37 years old, after all, and Gabriel 40.

Gabriel. What if he thinks them both too old to have a baby now? What if he hates the idea? It’s another reason she asked her brother to take the children - this is a conversation she wants them to have complete privacy for, just in case…

...just in case what?, she chides herself. This is Gabriel, after all. She remembers the years they spent together figuring out how to be parents to two wildly different children, remembers how good he was - and still is - with each of them, and how he’s never shown them anything other than unwavering love and devotion. This won’t be any different, she reminds herself, pushing the fear aside and allowing the nervous excitement to take over again.

She remembers the joy of raising Christopher and Anna, of watching them grow and learn and take their first steps and get their first runes… the joy of little moments and milestones she thought were long over for her. Anna is always so good with her brother, and Cecily can already imagine how wonderful Christopher will be as an older sibling, always so eager to teach others about his experiments. He could teach so much to a little brother or sister.

Cecily can only hope they’re as eager to have another sibling as she is to give them one.

Nervous. Excited. Fearful. Happy. Concerned. Eager. Her emotions shift and change more rapidly than she can keep up with until, finally, they settle along with her thoughts into one: contentment. This is happening, whether she’s ready for it to or not, and she’ll be damned if she isn’t going to make the absolute best of it.

When Gabriel finally arrives home he finds her in their bedroom, pacing as she’s been doing off-and-on for hours now as she tries to work out the best way to break the news.

“Cecily?” he greets her, voice uncertain. He’s been away in Idris but came back earlier than planned after hearing she hasn’t been feeling well. “Is everything alright? Shouldn’t you be resting?”

Gabriel takes a few steps into the room and reaches a hand out to still her anxious movements, resting it gently on her shoulder.

Cecily stops pacing and forces a small smile onto her face. “There will be plenty of time for resting soon,” she says cryptically. “And whether or not everything is alright depends largely on how you feel about…” she wonders briefly if there’s a good way to phrase this, or at least a better way than simply blurting it out.

It’s a pity that tact and gentle phrasing has never been one of Cecily’s strong suits.

“...about having another child,” she finishes, carefully watching his expression.

It’s difficult to decipher much beyond Gabriel’s absolute shock, which is fair. She’s still a bit shocked herself and she’s had hours to process the news. His hand remains on her shoulder and she feels the grip of it tighten ever so slightly.

“Just to be clear,” Gabriel says cautiously. “You’re saying this simply because you want to have another child, or because-”

“Because I’m pregnant,” she confirms.

A silence falls between them then. Cecily can see the wheels turning in Gabriel’s mind, the way his eyes shift constantly from her face to her stomach to the room around them as he processes this information, and it takes all of what little self-control Cecily possesses to allow him that time.

“You’re pregnant,” he finally repeats, and then, very slowly, his lips curl up into an eager smile. “That’s wonderful!”

“It is?” Cecily asks, the words slipping out in a rush of relief after she’d mentally prepared herself for the worst possible reaction.

“Isn’t it?” Gabriel counters, sounding suddenly unsure of his reaction.

“I mean, yes, of course, it is! But we’re not exactly in our prime, and it isn’t as if we planned this, or anticipated the possibility the way we had with Anna and Christopher. I just thought… I know it’s silly but I was afraid you might…” Cecily struggles to find the words for the fears that are suddenly rendered baseless in her mind.

“Cecily, my dear, sweet Cecily,” Gabriel says, wrapping his arms around her to pull her in close to him, mindful not to pull too tightly. “I love you, and I love our family, and any addition to it is nothing other than a blessing, no matter how unexpected.” He moves to hold her just far enough away to lean in and place a gentle kiss on her forehead.

Cecily feels a few errant tears make their way down her cheeks in both joy and relief.

“I feel the same,” she agrees. “And I knew you would, too. I just needed to hear you say it. Since I found out this morning all I could do was build it up in my head - we worked so hard to give Anna and Christopher stability and routine with their studies and training and this is going to upend all of that.”

“Do you think they’ll be upset?” Gabriel asks.

Cecily can only shrug. “I don’t know. I hope not, but… it is a big change. And it’ll be attention away from them, no matter how hard we try not to let it be. I just don’t want them to resent the baby, or us.”

“They won’t,” Gabriel says with a confidence Cecily wishes she felt. “Do you know how I know?”

The question should be rhetorical but he waits for an answer anyway, so Cecily asks, “How?”

The hand on her shoulder squeezes again, comforting as a knowing smile spreads across her husband’s face. “Because they’re our children, and we - you in particular - raised them to be the sort of people who have compassion and understanding, even as unruly teenagers. They’re going to adjust just fine - we all are.”

Cecily hadn’t anticipated the tears that now overwhelm her after such an emotional day, shed now for words of such simple kindness.

“Thank you,” Cecily says, shaking her head slowly. “For always knowing exactly what I need to hear.”

“Well, you make it easy when you’re always so effortlessly deserving of praise,” Gabriel counters, lifting his hand to wipe away a few stray happy tears. “I suppose I should wait until we tell the others before I go rearranging the whole house, shouldn’t I? We’ll have to make a few changes… clear out a room, set aside a bit more savings, arrange for me to be home with you for the foreseeable future, of course…”

As Gabriel begins to rattle off the things that come to mind for the immediate future, Cecily is struck by how incredibly lucky she truly is to have him by her side. He doesn’t miss a beat in figuring out how to rearrange his own life and habits to better tend to her and support their growing family. He doesn’t make so much as a passing mention of what an imposition such sudden changes will inevitably have on him.

“We’ll figure it out,” Cecily says, reaching out to take his hand in her’s. His own easy acceptance bleeds into her, calming her nerves and bringing a smile to her face. She thought those words over and over throughout the day, but this is the first time she thinks them without doubt and voices them with equal surety. They will figure it out. Together. “We have time, nothing has to be done or decided today.”

She glances at the clock. “In fact, perhaps we should enjoy the next hour or two to ourselves before Will and Tessa bring the children back. I’m sure once we tell them we won’t know a moment’s peace until months after the baby’s born,” she points out with a light laugh.

“I don’t know if you’re referring to your brother or the children,” Gabriel says. “Though I daresay it applies to the lot of them.”

Cecily rolls her eyes. “Oh, come now. You know I meant-” she begins, but stops abruptly. “No, you’re right. Will is going to be insufferable.”

Now it’s Gabriel’s turn to laugh. “We’ll face that inevitability when it comes. Right now, if I know you you’ve likely been stressed and wearing yourself out all day with worry. Let’s get you some proper rest before we break the news.”

It isn’t the sort of quiet, alone time she’d meant, but the moment he suggests it she knows it’s exactly what she needs. He always knows exactly what she needs. To her surprise, instead of tucking her in and going downstairs he gets into bed beside her, pulling her against his side, and she allows his warm, comforting presence to lull her into the best rest she’s had in days.

[twstdtales]

Greetings! May I please request for headcanons with Leona, Malleus, Silver, and Ruggie where the boys get turned into plushies and end up in Ramshackle Dorm. The reader finds the plushy, thinks it's a gift and confesses their love to the boys in plushy form as practice. What would the boys do when they turn back to their regular form?

Hello dear!

Thank you for placing in the request and apologies that it took a little bit to get it out - we hope the wait has been worth it. ☆

- Mods Kiara & Banzai

He was going to kill Azul Ashengrotto. Clearing up a misunderstanding had turned into Leona signing one of those golden contracts under false pretenses, and before he could dot his i’s, he was 5ft shorter and stuffed with polyester. A humiliating way to put him out of commission for the 24 hours Azul needed to worm his way into Savanaclaw’s business. One of Azul’s goons, (he hadn’t bothered to learn their names,) got lazy with the disposal and dropped Leona off in the hedges just outside of the Heartslabyul dorm. There, he was found by an unsuspected admirer, and taken back to their rickety dorm.

Things couldn’t have gotten any worse. Not only was he subject to listening to you stumble over your words with a confession so sickeningly sincere, you were especially fond of undoing and re-braiding his hair, and pulling at his stitched tail and ears… The only peace and quiet he got was when you were away, when he could let his conscience doze.

Azul’s spell ran out, thankfully enough, while you were away during school hours as opposed to at night when he was bundled up in your arms. He spent little time poking around your room, narrowly avoiding that annoying, ugly cat that had disturbed the entrance ceremony -- and promptly booked it back to Savanaclaw dorm to assess the damage done.

It wouldn’t be until months later that he would allow himself to even think back on such humiliation; allow himself to so much as acknowledge your crush. You hadn’t approached him, he had been avoiding you by default, and there was a moment where he wondered if you still harbored those feelings for him. Strategic as he was, he concluded that it’d be best if you simply fell out of them. To be tangled up in the heart of a troublemaker such as yourself would be more than an inconvenience… Still, it was amusing to think what might come out of such a rendezvous.

Skills are earned over time. And, while Malleus was greatly above most students when it came to magical prowess, there remained a plethora of spells and enchantments that he had yet to properly master. It was during one such moment that he made an error — it was a slip of the tongue that would have him shrinking, taking on a new form. Being unsupervised at a time like this made the occurrence all the more aggravating.

For a wizard of his caliber to be trapped under such a spell is a surprise in of itself, especially when it’s all due to an error. Still, Malleus finds himself helplessly bound by it — residing in a new form, one that was greatly inconvenient.

The helplessness felt in the moment left Malleus with his mind made; there was no comfort to be found in the situation, neither did an option to escape present itself. That is, until you enter the picture, picking him up off the ground and bringing him back to Ramshackle Dorm.

He recalls a saying that Lilia has shared with him long ago — ‘Count your blessing’. He is uncertain whether to be thankful of such a mishap, more so when you begin uttering words of love to him; softly confessing, with cheeks painted in a rosy color and words coming out shakily.

Unable to rest in such a form, Malleus’ mind had been plagued for the entirety of the night by the confession made. The least he had expected to have is an admirer, let alone for such a person to be you. His own emotions were jumbled, brewing up into a webbed mess that he didn’t know how to untangle.

Come the early hours of the morning, the spell wore off and he was back to his regular form; one too large to fit your much smaller bed. Malleus takes a moment to gaze at your sleeping figure before vanishing. Given time, he would approach you, though there would be no guarantee that his mind would be clearer and the burden of his emotions would lessen. Or, perhaps, will it be you that seeks him out—? Time would tell what fate held in store for the both of you.

Sebek had requested his help with orchestrating a spell, which Silver had begrudgingly accepted. Harmless -- a spell to mend textiles -- and seeing as Silver had slashed a hole into his uniform whilst training with Lilia earlier in the day, he was to be used as a guinea pig. Sebek’s articulation was much too brazen, reciting the spell a few syllables off, which proved to be a grave mistake. His flub would cost Silver his… Humanity? A strange transformation took place, telltale by the way Silver’s perspective sank to the floor and how Sebek would shriek and ramble on about how he had just murdered him, he suspected the outcome was anything but good. Internally, Silver cussed the imbecile out with every curse word in his limited vocabulary of such foul language. He could do nothing as Sebek explained to his doll form that he “would be back with help,” and promptly left the room.

Within minutes, a certain Ramshackle dorm student had wandered into the lab…

Smuggled like stolen goods, Silver ended up in your room and on your bed, only capable of enduring the way you held his tiny felted hands. Surely you would be punished for kidnapping him in such a way; this would leave Malleus open to attack with one of his knights out of commission if he wasn’t back to normal, and soon.

Your intentions were disproved as ill-meaning as soon as you had sat down -- criss-crossing your legs and fiddling with your hands -- refusing to meet his eyes. What could this have been about? Suspicious from the get-go, all of his apprehension would dissipate as soon as you had begun to speak. As ridiculous as the situation was, as well as the inconvenient timing, Silver couldn’t find it in his heart to be angry -- and made it a goal of his to resolve the situation without trouble to you.

The next morning, you find Silver sleeping in your bed beside you where his plushie self had previously lain; who awakes heavily vexed from his slumber with your scream as an alarm clock.

Maaan, those Octavinelle chumps really were no joke! The last thing he remembered was breaking up a fight between a Savanaclaw student and one of those freaky twins. Next time he was alone, somebody came up behind him and, well, now he was face down in the dirt and weirdly absorbent. He knew this because an hour into his immobile state, it had begun to rain. Not long afterwards, he was picked up out of the mud puddle that was starting to form around him into the arms of a familiar Ramshackle dorm student!

Ruggie was more than happy to be out of the rain, even if it was a little stuffy under your coat. You cleaned him up with magic when you got back to your dorm and styled his hair to how it would have normally been in his regular form… Your reverence and that suspicious smile you wore immediately set off alarms. He hadn’t fallen into the wrong person’s hands, right? You could fix him, right? Leona wouldn’t eat his vegetables if Ruggie wasn’t around!

When you spoke up, addressing him, he’d gotten his hopes up -- you knew it was him! Were you a witness? Did you know how to change him back? It quickly became evident that none of these things were the case. You, instead, were… Confessing your feelings? Multiple times, in many different ways. Practicing? Did he miss something along the way... ? How long have you felt like this? He felt stupid for not noticing sooner, considering how flustered you were spilling your feelings to a doll.

When the magic did, thankfully, wear off: he had rolled off of the bed when you’d rushed out the door in preparation for a ceremony, and had woken up on the floor back to normal! He rifled through some of your things out of sheer curiosity, but before he went to find Leona, Ruggie strategically placed a bead from his necklace where he had awaken -- an invitation to find him later. Maybe the two of you could talk things out… After all, he did owe you for getting him out of the rain.

[eccl3ctic0n3]

This Is My Personal Testimony of How God Found Me When I Was Lost.

I Am A Witness and My Testimony is of Jesus Christ the living Word of God

What you FEEL and what you THINK are valid and extremely powerful as these are the things you BELIEVE to be TRUTH thus this is your REALITY!

This is your belief system. Unless you suffer from mental illness therapy and counseling can be very helpful. Just talking about it and getting it off your chest is therapeutic in itself. No matter if it is a friend or a therapists getting things out instead of bottling them up and holding them in is great relief.

I was diagnosed bipolar type I when I was 23 years old. I am 41 now and it has only been in the last 5 years that I have been able to overcome, heal, grow, and experience breakthrough.

Traumatic experiences such as verbal, mental, emotional, physical, or sexual abuse to losing a loved one or friend has a lifelong affect. Therapy and medicine are just tools to help you and give you the skills, knowledge, and some understanding, so you can cope and learn how to manage with the pain and symptoms that remain.

I don't know who needs to hear this but I am telling you from 18 years of personal experience. Actually, 41 years as its only been 18 since I began treatment. Where doctors and medicine failed me for 13 years God did not fail me. I got lab ratted on all that time with powerful psychiatric medications. I spiraled out of control and my behavior landed me in the psychiatric ward of prison in the infirmary. 10 weeks I was locked in solitary confinement on 24 hour lock. I was deemed incompetent and unfit to stand trial. I was looking at two F1 Felonies with sentences from 5-99 years each. For 10 weeks I literally lost my mind and was experiencing full blown psychosis. It was in an instant that God found me and restored me to sanity. I did not find God. He found me.

I was lost and could not tell the difference between my dreams and reality. I slept in 15 minute intervals. In one dream I dreamt that I murdered my two children. I bashed my daughters head into the wall. My reality was this place I was in where no other person is visible was like a purgatory and I was awaiting my judgment to be thrown into hell.

I was on my knees in my boxers bleeding from my head and knuckles. I was head butting and punching the walls. As I was on my knees I was singing, ''My Girl, My Girl, Talkin Bout, My Girl." I was only thinking of my daughter and that I was never going to see her again.

The guy in a cell next to me screamed, " Shut the fuck up!" I just screamed back and told him to come on over and shut me up. What was he going to do we are in solitary confinement. 😅

I lost track of time and I was still singing and I began to cry out to God. Literally bawling and begging I screamed for God to help me. Don't you know the guy who cursed me came to my door and asked me to call his momma for him to bail him out. I laughed and said ain't you the same mother fucker who told me to shut up? Before he answered I just said whatever! Just write the number on a piece of paper and slide it under my door and I will get to it.

Mind you that for those 10 weeks I could not even read or use the telephone because I just didn't know how. The hands on the clock just spun round and round. Still on my knees sobbing I noticed the piece of paper slide under my door. I forgot all about it and I couldn't read or use a phone anyway. But I looked closer and I seen the red writing. This guy tore the last page of his bible out to write the number on. The red writing just caught my eyes and the first thing I seen was this. Revelations 22:16 I Jesus, have sent My angel to you to testify in the churches. I am the Root and Offspring of David, the Bright and Morning Star. As fast as you could snap your fingers I realized that I could read first of all. I then noticed I felt completely normal. I was just wondering wtf am I doing in my boxers bleeding on this floor? 😅 I got up took a shower and cleaned up. The guard came by and stopped giving me a strange look and asked if I was ok. I just said Im fine Im waiting on lunch its almost noon. I could read the time cause the hands stopped spinning.

Finally I got to use the phone and I called home and asked how long I was there. I said 2 weeks? My mom said you been there almost 3 months. I did 6 months and got both charges dropped down to a misdemeanor and 4 years probation. 2 years was deferred. I literally signed out of jail on a PR Bond. No fines, fees, or court costs at all.

That was 5 years ago in October. I never could forget or deny what happened. I knew immediately what the verse meant and what I was told to do. So I have done it this entire time everyday almost on social media.

I had never read a bible before and I was far away from God. I was really on the fence about the whole Jesus thing. What I know now and I knew at that moment was this. Jesus is God! He is the Father, the Son of God, and the Holy Spirit is the Spirit of God and of Christ. There is only one. Omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent, and Sovereign Lord over all of creation.

I believe the words of the verse exactly for what they said. He sent an angel to me which is a ministering spirit and a messenger. I got the message loud and clear. So I do exactly as He has told me to.

It has been 5 years and I have not even had a cold. My doctor is weaning me off medications. It was by no means an easy 5 years at all. I suffered with overcoming addiction and the mental illness symptoms I was and still am learning to cope and manage.

There is one thing I learned in addition to all these things since then in talk therapy. I was raised by two narcissistic, one mentally ill, and completely abusive except sexually.

After all those years and all those medications and numerous doctors did not do for me what the Great Physician did in a moment of time.

Don't get me wrong. God has revealed to me that He has gifted these doctors, nurses, therapists, and the scientists or chemists that make these medications. Give or take these crooked sons of bitches.

Just know that God is Hope. Faith or Belief and any good thing at all about man is of God. He is Love. How is Jesus God? All things are possible with God. Just trust Him. Don't worry or be afraid. He has commanded us to be strong and courageous for He is with us wherever we go. He will never leave us or forsake us. He is faithful to keep His word. If He said it. He meant it. It is the Truth. Jesus said His words are Spirit and Truth. These words are Life and Jesus is the Way. The one and only true living God is the living Word of God. He was manifest in the flesh. The holy bible has been tampered with by man and today even more with hundreds of versions. However, man is foolish to think he could ever stop the Power of the Spirit and Truth that is the Word of God Jesus Christ.

Is the Father the Son or the Spirit? Is He 3 in one or one in 3? Don't split hairs with vain debates and argumentative subjects that no man can answer. There are simply things of God that man will never understand. Our finite minds cannot imagine, fathom, dream, or even comprehend the great things of God. He just said don't trip. I got this. Be still and know. Trust Me and Believe In Me. Have Faith! Never give up Hope. Without Hope this Life has no purpose and we have meaning at all. There is just certain death. Then we are worm food.

If it is all just a big story and we die only to find out that's it just black and nothing then fine with me. If we die and it is true and we chose not to simply believe and have the faith the size of a mustard seed. We'd be cursing ourselves not God from hell forever. We would know He was right and we have no defense or a word to say before the righteous Judge.

Life and death. Facts. Choose life or death. It is the most logical, reasonable, sane, and simple choice for anyone in their right mind. So anyone who says its blind faith and completely disregards facts, logic, or reason. You know just as God says. He has used the foolishness of this world for His wisdom. He makes those who are wise in their own eyes, puffed up with pride, and too stubborn or hard hearted to simply admit they do not know. Men fear what they do not know. Rightfully so. You should fear God. Both revere and be a very afraid of the One that can take your life and cast your soul into hell. He gives and takes away. Simple as that.

So remember no matter what the situation or circumstances shit is just temporary. All good things must come to an end. As do the bad. So suck it up, be strong and courageous. Has He not commanded us? He is with you wherever and nothing can separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus.

To anyone suffering right now I am by no means minimizing your pain. I feel you 1000% You don't have to believe a word from me. Just know there is someone who is always with you and you are not helpless or alone. You may be weak and in complete darkness that seems like hell. God is light in the darkness. He has the keys to death and hell. So weather life or death, heaven or hell. You gotta trust and believe in Jesus. If not it is your own doing. Most of our problems are self inflicted we bring em on ourselves.

This may be the hardest part for me to tell someone in depression just dwelling and can't let go. Do you know what depression is. It is YOUR THOUGHTS and YOUR FEELINGS. It is therefore YOUR BELIEF and thus YOUR REALITY!

This is self-centeredness. Depression for a while that is justified is one thing. Wallowing in SELF-PITY with the attitude WOE IS ME. MY LIFE SUCKS and nobody understands or knows what I I I am going through. No one could possibly relate to YOUR SUPERIOR PROBLEMS! GET OUT OF YOURSELF for a while. Have an attitude of gratitude. You are alive and if you can feel emotions and you woke up today then you KNOW that you are alive. LIFE is a gift from of GOD. He so loved all of us that He GAVE HIS LIFE so that anyone who BELIEVES in HIM Should Not Perish...SHOULD NOT! But HAVE RIGHT NOW AS IN THIS PRESENT MOMENT. EVERLASTING LIFE. God gave us HOPE of ETERNAL LIFE the FREE GIFT of SALVATION is the LORD OUR GOD JESUS CHRIST the ONLY BEGOTTEN of the EVERLASTING FATHER the King of Israel is the Holy One (Christ) or Anointed (Messiah) our SAVIOR and REDEEMER. Not by might nor by power but by that Holy Spirit of PROMISE which is the PLEDGE of our inheritance.

The only reason one would die when God gave us His Life so that anyone whomsoever at all Believes. The Way is the Truth and He has become our Salvation. He is the very HOPE, FAITH, and LOVE that abides forever. LOVE being the greatest. No one SHOULD die. It is a choice!!! Just like you choose to wake up and be grateful saying Thank You God. Bless you Lord Jesus for the Spirit translated "Breath or Air" of Life and the LIGHT we all see and we have heard the word of God preached and proclaimed to us all. So no one has an excuse to even say I Dont Believe! That is our free will and choice. Another gift from God. He wants you to choose Jesus and dont worry but be happy. Rejoice!! Make some noise!! God is good all the time. All the time God is good. We all have a reason for the very BREATH of LIFE that was blown into Adam's nostrils and he became a living soul. Adam just means man. Human. In His image and likeness. Male and female created He them. If you believe in Jesus and the Good News aka Gospel of the Kingdom and Eternal Life you have every reason on every Day the Lord has made to be grateful and choose to be happy. The Eternal One is the Alpha and Omega. The Ancient of Days is the First and the Last. The Almighty. Beginning and End. Genesis to Revelation. Death and Life He gives and takes away.

I pray you don't waste another moment having a pity party if you don't have an actual reason to be stuck feeling sad for an excessive period of time. It is selfish. Ungrateful.

Your THOUGHTS and FEELINGS are powerful. They are YOURS though. You and you alone have a God given free gift of grace to Think for yourself and Regulate or Control Your Feelings and Emotions. It takes time and it's a process of growing up and becoming a man or woman. He has not given us a spirit of fear, but of POWER, LOVE, AND A SOUND MIND. SELF DISCIPLINE your MIND. We have the MIND of Christ. The Spirit of God and of Christ. The Kingdom of heaven is within. God the Father, the Lord Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit is all within. What does it say? The Word is near to you, in your heart, even in your mouth.

It is Finished!

Revelation 22:16 21st Century King James Version (KJ21)

16 “I, Jesus, have sent Mine angel to testify unto you these things in the churches. I am the Root and the Offspring of David, and the Bright and Morning Star.”

Isaiah 44:6-8 21st Century King James Version (KJ21)

6 “Thus saith the Lord, the King of Israel, and his Redeemer, the Lord of hosts: I am the First, and I am the Last, and besides Me there is no God.

7 And who, as I, shall call and shall declare it, and set it in order for Me, since I appointed the ancient people? And the things that are coming and shall come, let them show unto them.

8 Fear ye not, neither be afraid. Have not I told thee from that time and have declared it? Ye are even My witnesses. Is there a God besides Me? Yea, there is no God. I know not any.”

[yoonjinkooked]

I Miss You | Jungkook

Pairing: Y/N / Jungkook

Genre: Fluff, a bit of angst (mostly pining) and comedy, oneshot

Warnings: (cursing, brief mentions of anal sex (jokingly), banter, oblivious Jungkook, heavy pining on both sides)

Word Count: 3666

Summary: You are in love with your best friend and he doesn’t know it. When the two of you start breaking a long term tradition of yours, feelings become more obvious on both sides. 

A/N: Jimin’s bday gift for JK fucked me up. ‘The Nightmare Before Christmas’ is one of my all-time favorites and today it pushed me back into Blink 182 and “I miss you”. So, I wrote this in like two hours completely inspired by the song, even though I had other stuff to write. I will go do that now. I hope you enjoy this, let me know what you think! 

You could laugh at how stupid this whole thing is.

It is so ridiculous and plainly stupid but it still affects you, more than you would like to admit to anyone.

Since you were 18 and a broke college student, you and a fellow broke college student became friends, bonding over your love of music, movies, TV shows and essentially irrelevant pop culture knowledge. It didn’t take long for you and Jeon Jungkook to have weekly movie nights together, whether at his dorm room or your run down rental apartment.

It also didn’t take long for those weekly movie nights to end up being limited on one movie and one movie alone: The Nightmare Before Christmas.

There was something about that masterpiece that drew you both in, time and time again, never becoming boring. Of course, you needed to make sure of that: a few months down the road, movie nights were still a weekly occurrence but ‘The Nightmare Before Christmas’ nights were monthly.

You obsession went as far as dressing up as Jack and Sally for Halloween – it was a horribly executed costume, tragic even, but the two of you loved it. It was your thing. No one understood it but no one needed to – the two of you have always known.

Adulthood came knocking, graduations came and went, jobs became a daily and not a temporary thing but somehow, you and Jungkook still followed tradition.

Even three months ago, when Jungkook packed up and moved half the world away. Even with seven hours between the two of you, you still spared one day a month for your tradition.

Granted, you barely even watched the movie anymore – you would be too interested in catching up with one another, Skype was a bitch and constantly lagging and the first 15 minutes would always be spent in trying to play the movie at the same time. After yelling at each other and blaming the other one, and of course Skype, you would both just play the movie at your own terms, barely paying attention to it because you could finally look at each other again, even over a computer screen.

You were supposed to be having your movie day/night now. And for the first time in 6 whole years, Jungkook stood you up.

Twice before, movie night was cancelled. Once by you, once by him, very much in advance. And even then, it would simply end up being re-scheduled. Nothing stopped your movie nights, not illnesses, not real-life drama, not a whole ocean between the two of you.

Which is why it is actually painful now, when he did not show up.

He is online – you can see the little green light shining on his Skype name. It’s not yet late night in his time zone – he should be here. Or at the very least, texting you and asking for a last minute re-schedule.

And yet he isn’t. It’s stupid and it’s trivial and who the hell would be hurt with this but it also makes perfect sense because this? This feels like an ended chapter. No, a whole closed book.

Over the years, you and Jungkook always hovered between being the best of friends and maybe, just maybe, something a little bit more.

Frankly speaking, you had a stupid crush on him for several years and never did anything about it, perfectly aware that said crush had ruined every single attempt at a relationship you have ever had. You tried to leave it behind, knowing you would never be able to put your feelings into words, much less actions. You knew your longing for Jungkook would always remain unsaid and you tried to move on. There were men, one night stands, serious relationships, all of it – and none of it worked.

Him moving miles away didn’t have the desired effect either. It was still there, in your heart, annoying you and making it painfully obvious just how strong the stupid crush is.

But this? This situation from today? It finally did what nothing else could do.

It showed you that you and Jungkook will never be.

Seemingly meaningless to someone else, a punch in the gut for you.

  JK: Y/N? You there? [4:24 AM]

JK: Y/N!!!!!!! Come on! I know you’re up! [4:36 AM]

JK: btch, I know you’re up and watching Walking Dead or something [4:39 AM]

JK: Ugh, fine, whatever [4:51 AM]

Y/N: I was sleeping, dumbass [9:08 AM]

Y/N: What do you want [9:08 AM]

JK: Finally! I wanna reschedule our movie night – I couldn’t make it last night, sorry. You wanna do it tonight? [9:14 AM]

Y/N: Can’t do it tonight – have work to do. [9:14 AM]

JK: Tomorrow night? [9:16 AM]

Y/N: Soz, work. [9:16 AM]

JK: Any night in the next two weeks? [9:17 AM]

Y/N: Ask me in a few days, I will know more. [9:22 AM]

  “Thank you so much for taking me out tonight,” you smile at your date, trying to make the awkward first-date goodbye a little less awkward. Hoseok is a kind, charming guy – on paper, he is exactly what you need, what you had hoped to find. Stable in all the right ways and not textbook proper. If you were to let your imagination run wild, Hoseok would be a perfect long term companion – yes, one date was more than enough for you to realize that.

“It was my pleasure,” he smiles brightly at you, a smile that should make your stomach somersault. It doesn’t. As much as you want it to, it doesn’t. “I would very much like to do this again. Are you free on Monday, for example?” he suggests.

“I’ll have to check my schedule,” you avoid giving him a direct answer, despite knowing you have absolutely no plans for Monday night. You don’t want to lead him on but you are not brave enough to say it to his face. “I’ll message you once I know. Thank you so much and have a good sleep,” you tell him, hand already on the car door – you didn’t want to give him a chance to do something more.

“Bye Y/N,” he smiles at you as you close the door, the sound of it making you flinch.

He is perfect but he is not him.

He is not your stupid best friend, the one who eats too much ramen and misses scheduled movie nights and snorts when he laughs and cries during cheesy romcoms and makes you laugh like no one ever has.

He is not the guy you are insanely comfortable with, the guy who had made you shed every single mask you have ever worn and show yourself to him for who you really are. He is not the guy you want, he is not the guy you need.

But unlike Jungkook, he is here.

You cannot string Hoseok along and you cannot let your feelings for Jungkook take over you – it’s over and you know it. You just need to learn how to live with it.

  You are so sure that you’re dreaming, you don’t even bother lifting your head, much less answering your phone when you hear it ringing. Soon enough, it stops and you almost fall right back into your dream before it rings again – and this time too, you don’t even bother because it’s obviously a dream.

The third time it had started to ring, you know you’re not dreaming.

You also know that it’s fucking late and as ‘How I Met Your Mother’ had taught you, nothing good happens after 2AM.

With a sense of dread, you do reach for your phone, not bothering to open your eyes as you try to slide your finger on the right area.

“What?”

“Hey… it’s me,” you recognize his voice instantly.

“Jungkook what the fuck do you want?” you sigh. “It’s almost,” you pause to look at your phone’s clock, nearly blinding yourself in the process, forcing your eyes shut as soon as you saw the exact time. “It’s past 4AM. What the fuck?”

“I’m sorry, I know it’s late,” he apologizes instantly. “But I just wanted to see what you were up to.”

“What I-,” sometimes, like right now, you cannot believe the stupidity Jeon Jungkook can utter. For a genuinely bright and knowledgeable person, there are times when he truly is the biggest dumbass you have encountered in your whole life. “I’m sleeping – what the fuck did you think I’d be doing?”

“Sorry for waking you up,” he mumbles. He doesn’t even have to be in front of you for you to know that he is pouting – right about now, he is looking like a kicked puppy, making you want to hug him and punch him at the same time, because even with an entire ocean between the two of you, he is using his charms in his favor – he knows how fucking whipped you are for his pout, even if you can’t see it.

“Did something happen?” you ask, finally realizing that he must have some reason to call you at this hour.

“Why weren’t you here today for our movie night?” he blurts out.

“Huh? Jungkook, we didn’t plan a movie night today.”

“No, we didn’t but we always have it on a Saturday,” he tells you. “I just assumed after weeks of not having one, we will have one this Saturday.”

“I never confirmed that,” you mumble, suddenly not as sleepy as you were seconds ago.

“I watched it alone,” he admits, his voice sounding oddly sentimental. However, you are still sleepy and could very well be imagining the whole thing. “It felt so weird, to watch it without you. It felt wrong.”

“I watched it alone the last time we had our movie night,” you remind him, hoping that you don’t sound too sour. You are not angry – you’re really not. Yes, you are still a little bit hurt, but not by his actions. You are hurt because those actions made you realize the truth you have been avoiding for years now. “It felt wrong then too. But life goes on.”

“What do you mean life goes on?” he asks.

“Life goes on,” you repeat. “We live in different places now. We have our own obligations. I had a date tonight – last time, you had… whatever it is that you had. We are not those stupid students anymore, Jungkook. Traditions are cool but real life gets in the way.”

“I don’t want life to go on without our tradition,” he uses his kicked puppy voice again.

“Me neither but tough luck.”

“Was the date good?”

“It was,” you answer honestly. You could never lie to Jungkook – not in person, not over text, not over the phone. Keeping things to yourself was a more common practice than you’d like to admit but never have you lied to him. “It was good but there won’t be a second one.”

“That’s very contradictory,” he points out.

“I know,” you sigh. “I guess I just had to admit to myself that he wasn’t what I am looking for.”

“Y/N, do you even know what you are looking for?” he chuckles.

Better than you might think. “I know exactly what I am looking for. Sleep. Goodbye Jungkook.”

“Y/N, wait-“ he tries to stop you.

“We will talk in a few hours. Goodbye!”

You had to end the call before you ended up saying things you will likely end up regretting. They were there, on the tip of your tongue. It would have been so easy to say them, to finally not carry that burden with you. It would have been easy, therapeutic even. But the aftermath? The aftermath would have destroyed you and you knew it.

  You curse when the ringing drags you away from your dream – it was a good dream too. You were eating chicken wings and someone, you can already imagine who, decided to pull you away from it.

Jungkook and you had a timetable of times when it is socially acceptable to call the other one – different time zones made you do it. For four months, both of you were perfectly capable of sticking to it. Except, over the course of last week, Jungkook had decided to blatantly ignore it, several times.

“Jungkook, this is the third time this week you wake me up at the dead of night,” you answer the phone angrily, not even checking the caller ID because you know it’s him. “What do you want?”

“I miss you.”

“You truly could have waited a few more hours to tell me that.”

“Actually, I couldn’t,” he tells you, to which you just roll your eyes. “Y/N, I’m going to need you to not interrupt me now – I have something to say. Are you awake enough to listen?” he checks.

“I am,” you mumble. Yeah, now you are, when the dumbass woke you up.

“I miss you,” he tells you the same thing again, the words not having much of an effect on you because you know he is not missing you in the way you want him to. “It pisses me off that we don’t have our movie nights anymore. It is just so wrong to watch ‘The Nightmare Before Christmas’ without you and it pisses me off that it’s like that – it’s just a stupid movie. I should be able to watch it without thinking about you every damn second.”

You want to reply to that, of course you do, but his earlier request and frankly, your surprise, leave you speechless. You do however sit up, knowing that even if you ended the call this second, you wouldn’t be able to fall asleep for the remainder of the night.

“I know that this is not something I should be doing right now,” he continues. “It’s wrong and if I am going to say it, I should at least say it to your face and not over the phone, at the dead of night. But I just… I can’t keep it in anymore, you know? I miss you. I miss you so fucking much Y/N.”

You want to ask him why, you want to brush it off. After years of keeping your hopes down, you don’t want one misunderstanding to get them up. You know, you just know, he doesn’t miss you like that.

“Ever since I got here, I have kept living with this horrible feeling,” Jungkook admits, swallowing lumps as he speaks. “I know I have made a mistake. I knew it even before I left. I thought it would clear my head, lessen your influence or whatever… and it just didn’t. I am still feeling the same way about you as I did before and now I can’t even see you. I sabotaged myself.”

He is talking about his feelings for you, he said it in those very words and still, you don’t want to believe what you’re hearing, knowing that if you believe it, the eventual truth will leave you broken. Your heart however gives you away – it starts beating faster, excited at what this could mean.

“I miss you, Y/N. And I don’t just miss you as a friend. That’s a given, that will always be true, even if you don’t ever want to see my face after tonight. But I just needed to put it out there before I… exploded. I miss you. I want to be right there, right next to you. Kissing you, holding your hand… doing all sorts of things to you, things that would make you blush and kick me in the shin if I were to voice them. I don’t want to scare and chase you away, I don’t want to lose you as a friend, that’s exactly why I haven’t said this for so long but I just can’t keep it in. Not when you are ditching movie nights and going on dates and living your best life while I am… pining after you. And I don’t blame you – you didn’t know, I made sure of that. But now you do. And whatever your response is, just know that I will always consider you my best friend, whether you let me fuck you into oblivion and hold your hand 24/7 or if you never want to see my sorry ass ever again.”

For the first time in a very long time, your heart and mind are on the same page. One is not trying to hold to hold the other one back or to push it into something that makes no sense. No, your heart and mind are not working together, both perfectly aware and very accepting of that fact that for you, it was always going to be Jungkook.

Whether your feelings are returned or not, whether it never happens or lasts a lifetime, it was always going to be him.

And now, when your mind is finally accepting, and aware of Jungkook’s feelings, you can finally embrace the feeling you have spent years, fucking years, trying to escape.

He likes you. Hell, if he’s anything like you, he is in love with you. ‘Like’ is too weak. You like someone you barely know. When you know the person you like, when you actually know them, the way you and Jungkook know each other, it’s more than just ‘like’.

“Can I talk now?” you ask.

“I kind of want to say no,” Jungkook sheepishly admits. “But I know you have to. So go on, Y/N. Go on and break my heart. For all I know, that may be the exact thing I need.”

“Okay, now I’m going to ask you to shut the fuck up,” you deadpan, not surprised when you hear silence on the other side – Jungkook was never a push around but the truth of the matter is, he knows how scary you can get when you are angry. He doesn’t want to make you angry, not right now. “Seeing as you moved your ass to a different continent and couldn’t wait till the morning to call me, you are obviously blind and completely unaware of the massive crush I’ve had on you for years.”

It’s his turn to be stunned to silence.

Or maybe he’s quiet because you asked him to. Shit.

“I’m done,” you tell him. “Your turn.”

“That’s all you’re gonna say?”

“Are you seriously complaining right now?” you ask in disbelief. “What more do you need? I like you, you dumbass. I have liked you for years! I want you here, next to me, holding my hand and all that shit. And all the things you say you want to do to me, if I were you, I would compile a list of them before coming back home because I’d let you do them all.”

“Y/N, are you-“

“Well, maybe not all. I’m still iffy about the butt stuff.”

“Are you seriously talking about anal while confessing your feelings for me?!”

“I just didn’t want you to get your hopes up for nothing, that’s all,” you admit in a low voice. You know you’re going to end up regretting saying this. Jungkook has a horrible, yet endearing habit of reminding you of all the embarrassing things you have ever said in his presence and mentioning anal sex in the middle of such a heartfelt conversation will definitely make the cut.

“I miss you even more now,” he admits, sighing into the phone. “Do you seriously like me?”

“Yes,” you reassure him. “It’s weird, I know.”

“Hey!”

“It is!” you argue. “You are my best friend. It wasn’t supposed to happen that way.”

“Or maybe it was absolutely supposed to happen that way,” he counters. “Is there a better feeling than falling for your best friend?”

“Hell yeah, it’s a horrible feeling,” you laugh. “It only feels good when you know it’s not one-sided.”

“Okay, you do have a point there,” he chuckles. You find yourself feeling all giddy on the inside, biting your lip and fighting the urge to yell out of pure happiness. It’s actually happening. After years of not being able to keep him out of your heart, you finally don’t have to. Sure, the whole conversation is weird as fuck but it’s also very Jungkook. Very you and Jungkook. If it had happened in any other way, it would not be so characteristically you. “So… now what?”

“You’re the one who moved away – you need to answer that one.”

“Temporarily,” he sighs. “I tell you this every time Y/N, it’s temporary-“

“Yeah, yeah.”

“-because I literally can’t stand being away from you,” he ends with a sigh, making your heart flutter all over again. “I’ll still be here for two months. I’d say… maybe you should go to your living room and play our movie. And we can watch it once a week, sticking to our tradition. And then, when I come back home, I will kiss you silly and make both of us regret being silent for as long as we were.”

“You gonna date me?” you giggle as you get up and head straight for your living room.

“I’m gonna date the shit out of you,” he announces.

“Are you gonna meet my parents?”

“I already know your parents, Y/N,” he laughs and you chuckle too, as you turn on your TV. “But I’ll gladly meet them all over again. We need to discuss how much you’ll be bringing into our marriage, after all.”

“Oh, fuck you!” you laugh.

“Give it two months babe and you will do just that.”

“You are insufferable.”

“And you love it.”

Watching ‘The Nightmare Before Christmas’ was always a special tradition for the two of you, but never more special than now, with him half the world away and on the phone with you, while you banter and ignore the growing feeling in your chest, acting as if this is a completely normal thing to do on a Wednesday at 3AM. Because for the two of you, it kind of is.

[sunmoonandeddie]

feelings are fatal (10/24)

pairing: bucky barnes x reader, past steve rogers x reader

word count: 3,731

summary: After the events of Endgame, you struggle to come to terms with what you’ve lost, though you’re learning that you still have something to gain.

chapter warnings: swearing, violence

masterlist

a/n: Here’s where it gets a little more interesting.  Let me know what y’all think!

The call came in the middle of the night.

The first mission since the Final Battle against Thanos.

Which is why you found yourself zipping up your uniform at four in the morning.  You’d been awoken by F.R.I.D.A.Y. with orders to be ready to go in an hour, and honestly, if it was possible to kill an A.I., you would’ve.  You’d forgotten what it felt like to be dragged out of bed with no sleep to save the world.

Or rather, a part of it.

As you pulled on your thigh holsters, your eyes fell on the picture frame on your vanity.  Taking a deep breath, you walked over and picked it up.  Your fingers gently ran over the face behind the glass.

“Hey, Nat,” you muttered, voice cracking a little. “We’ve got a mission that I’ve gotta leave for in—”  You checked the clock next to your bed.  “—twenty minutes.  But it’s weird.”  You swallowed as you felt your throat tightening up.  “It’s my first mission without you.  And I just keep thinking that you should be here.”  A laugh tore itself from your throat, though it felt hollow. Fake.  You were trying to fight the tears away, though it wasn’t going very well.  “You should be here anyway.  And I know if you were here right now, you’d tell me not to cry, but I can’t help it.” You wiped your eyes, sniffling.  “I don’t know how to do this without you.  I know that Bucky and Sam and everyone else will have my back but—it’s not you.”  You stared at the photo for a long time, an overwhelming feeling of emptiness in your gut. “Sam says it might help for me to talk to you.  He suggested I do it at your grave, but I don’t know if I could do that,” you said, thinking back on the therapy session that the older man had finally roped you into.  “If you were going to haunt anything, it’d be us. Not some slab of marble.”

“Agent L/N, Agent Wilson wanted me to remind you that you have fifteen minutes until take off,” F.R.I.D.A.Y. said.

Huffing, you took one final glance at the picture. It was a selfie the two of you had taken on the way to one of Tony’s fundraising galas.  You were in your fancy gowns, hair and makeup done better than it ever had been before.  Her bright eyes glittered like emeralds.  You two were happy.  It was a rare moment where you didn’t have to worry about the world possibly ending.  “I’ll be sure to be as safe as I can, but you know how our job can be,” you told photo-Natasha, wincing as you realized just how much she knew.  She’d given her life for it.  “I’ll talk to you later.  I love you.”

Even though Sam’s therapy had helped slightly, you wanted to ask him if he was seeing one himself, if he was doing anything to heal.

The two of you were incredible at pushing your feeling under the rug, after all.

Most of the team were already gathered in the hangar, sleepy-eyed and a little irritated.  None of you had expected the first mission to come so soon after everything, and had hoped for another few months of getting to sleep in.  You’d thought you’d at least have until October, if not November, but you wouldn’t be so lucky.

“Good morning,” you mumbled as you approached the group.

“Nothing good about it,” Wanda snapped, a little too harshly in your opinion.  But it was clear by the look on her face that she hadn’t had her coffee and had probably stayed up way to late the night before.

Probably crying about Vision.  You knew that she had hoped that he would’ve come back with everyone else when the Snap was undone and had been devastated when he hadn’t. After all, she’d been one of those to turn into dust.  For her, she’d lost him just months before, not five years ago.

Sam just smirked as he clapped a hand onto the redhead’s shoulder.  “Cheer up, Wanda.  We’re lucky this mission is only going to take a few hours at most.”  He looked good with the shield strapped to his back. There was a small twinge of pain in your heart at seeing the familiar piece of vibranium, but you were more proud than anything else.  He deserved the shield, deserved for the world to see how amazing he was.  

You crossed your arms over your chest, willing your body to wake up long enough to make it onto the quinjet.  If you could just make it to the bunks, then you’d be able to grab another two hours or so of sleep.

“You gonna make it?”

Jumping, you turned to see Bucky standing beside you. You’d been so lost in your own little world that you hadn’t even realized he’d arrived.  The black Kevlar stretched over his chest made your mouth water and you quickly turned your eyes away.  “Yeah.  ‘M just tired.”

He raised his eyebrows as he watched you for another long moment.  His blue eyes were as skeptical as ever as they searched your face.  “How are you feeling?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean,” he said, giving you that look that told you not to argue with him because he’d call you out on it before you could blink, “that this is your first mission without Natasha.  How.  Are. You.  Feeling?”

You shrugged as you watched the ramp of the quinjet lower.  Rhodey was flying today, since he had the most experience flying a plane.  Plus, he still had limited use of his legs since the fight at the Berlin airport.  It was the best way for him to stay involved with the Avengers while not putting himself into unnecessary danger.  “Honestly, I don’t know what I’m feeling.”  Ignoring his eyes on you, you started to head for the jet.  “But it’ll hit me later.”

“How are you feeling?”

You looked up just as Natasha slid into the seat beside you.  “Shouldn’t you be flying this thing?” You asked, even though the smirk on your face made it clear that you weren’t serious.  You always enjoyed her company.

“This thing flies itself.  Plus, Steve’s keeping an eye on it,” she said.  Her flaming red hair had been tied into a ponytail. Her suit fit her in ways that you wished yours did, but you were still the rookie.  You got a standard SHIELD agent uniform.  It was itchy and ill-fitting, but you’d cried when it’d been given to you, unable to believe that you were actually being accepted into the little rag tag family.

“I’m nervous,” you admitted after a long pause. Rubbing your hands on your pants, you tried to ignore the hammering in your heart.  You got a little quiet, eyes dropping to the ground.  “What if I mess it up?”

Nat shook her head, nudging your knee.  “You won’t.  You’re just as good as everyone else on this mission.  You have just as much training.  It’s just…”  She bit her lip, trying to find the words.  “For a different team.  For the good guys.”

“It’s weird, being one of the ‘good guys,’” you said, amusement lifting the corners of your mouth as you leaned back against the wall of the quinjet.  The others on the jet aren’t paying attention to the two of us, too busy talking to each other or ‘getting in the zone’ for the mission.  “Granted, we never thought we were doing anything bad with the Red Room. Just maybe not right.”

She snorted, her nose scrunching up.  “I’m happy we can laugh about it now.”

“We definitely weren’t then.”

“We were just trying not to get murdered,” she reminded you.

And maybe it was a little fucked, that the two of you were joking about your time in the Red Room.  The both of you knew that Sam would most definitely get onto you for using humor to cope with what the two of you had been forced to go through, but hey, you’d taken comfort where you could get it.

“Besides,” the redhead said.  “We get better healthcare here.”

Steve looked up as you burst into laughter, covering your mouth with both hands as you snorted.  There was something in his blue eyes as he watched you from his seat.  Leaning his elbows on his knees, he asked, “What’s go you cracking up?”

“Nothing,” you said as you tried to get a handle on yourself.  Your cheeks were red from laughing, your chest heaving.  “Nat’s just being dumb.”

“Steve here would know exactly how great our benefits are,” she drawled with a lazy smirk.  “It’ll cover his hip surgery and his dentures.”

The blond rolled his eyes, a pout on his pretty pink lips.  “I’m not that old,” he grumbled as he leaned back.  His thick arms crossed over his chest, blocking the white star that adorned his uniform.  “At least not physically.”

“Says the man who’s in bed by nine every night,” you said.  The teasing gave you a little reprieve from your nerves.  You could pretend for just a second that you were back at the compound, in the gym or the living room.  The three months you’d spent with the team so far had been the best three months of your life.

Though there was one person you wish was there.

And you knew it was ridiculous, that you were thinking of him in that moment.  But part of you wished you could’ve seen him.  Could’ve made some joke that would’ve sent him rolling.

But that didn’t matter.

He was a part of your past.

“Hey,” Steve said, snapping you out of your trance as he sat next to you.  In your moment of thought, Natasha had slipped away.  Probably back to her seat in the cockpit.  The man beside you smiled comfortingly as he placed a hand on top of yours where it rested on your thigh.  “You’re going to do great.”

“Auntie Y/N!  Auntie Y/N!”

You turned, confused, to see Morgan running towards you.  She was still in her pajamas, her hair mussed.  Pepper was chasing after her with exasperation painted all over her. It was probably one of her most common emotions now-a-days.  “Hey, baby girl,” you said as you came back down the ramp.

She launched herself into your arms, wrapping herself around you.  “Promise me you’ll be safe?” She asked, her voice wobbling.

And that’s when you realized she was crying. “Oh, Morgan,” you hummed as you held her close.  Your eyes closed as her tiny hand tried to fist into the thick spandex of your uniform. “I’ll be home by tonight, okay?”

She pulled away then, her brown eyes glittering as she pressed one of her plushies to your chest.  You hadn’t even realized that she’d been carrying it.  “Daddy will keep you safe.”

Brows furrowed, you looked down at the toy, only for your heart to break.  She was giving you her Iron Man plushie.  “What’s this for?”

“Nothing bad can happen to you if my daddy’s protecting you,” she said, her face set with determination.  It would be adorable, if it didn’t hit you just how sad it was.

No one should have to be afraid that their loved ones wouldn’t return home.

Eyes welling up with tears, you pulled the mini Stark into another hug.  Your face burrowed in her dark hair as you tried hard not to cry.  “Thank you, baby girl.  I’ll hold onto him, okay?”  You squeezed onto her for another long moment before letting her go.  The little girl’s eyes swimmed with worry as you said, “You should go back to your mom now, okay?  I’ll be home by tonight, alright?”

Pepper huffed as she finally reached the two of you. You could tell that she was trying to appear much stronger than she felt as her eyes took you in.  “Come on, Morgan,” She said as she picked the four-year-old up, setting her on her hip.  “Back to bed.”

But the two of you knew that she most likely wouldn’t be able to sleep.  Not until you and the rest of your team were home.

The older woman locked you in place with a steely gaze, though you could see the fear behind it.  “Don’t be stupid.”

“I won’t,” you said, nodding to her once before heading for the ramp.

The others were already in the quinjet, settling in for the three hour flight.  Sam looked up as you walked up, the ramp closing behind you.  “You ready to go, darling?”

A sad grin spread over your lips as you held up the little plushie.  It was soft in your hands, still warm from Morgan hugging it so tightly.  “I have our protection detail, now,” you said.

The silence that enveloped the people around you was palpable.  Tense.

“Well,” Wanda said after a long moment, “I’m happy we have someone looking over us.”

Two and a half hours later found all of you gearing up.  The only sound in the air was that of tac suits and shoving guns into holsters. You looked at the gun in your hand, running your fingers over it in an almost loving manner.

“That Nat’s?” Bucky asked, his voice low enough that the others wouldn’t be able to hear him.

You swallowed around the lump in your throat, nodding as you brushed your thumb over the spider that was engraved into the handle.  “Figured if I can’t have her here with me, I’d at least have a part of her.”

“Good,” he said, his hand resting on your arm.  His touch was soothing, even if there was Kevlar and spandex between the two of you.  His sea blue eyes were locked on you, his dark hair pulled into a bun at the nape of his neck.  “She’d be proud of you.  I know I am.”

And fuck, that meant the world.  The entire time you trained with him in the Red Room, you’d been longing for praise, for recognition.  And knowing that he was proud made you feel like you were seventeen again.

“Can you two stop staring into each other’s eyes long enough for us to get a game plan?” Sam asked, shoving the former Winter Soldier.  There was a teasing glint in his eyes as he looked between the two of you, causing your cheeks to go a bright fire engine red.

Wanda pulled on her worn, red leather jacket. She clung to that thing like it was a lifeline.  Like it was a part of her identity.  “What have we got?”

Rhodey pulled up blueprints of a building on his tablet, throwing it up into the air in a hologram.  Stark tech, of course.  It was always the best out there.  “We’ve got reports of children being kidnapped from the local towns.  Rumors of experiments being done in an old abandoned shoe factory.”  He tapped on a spot in the hologram, blowing it up.  “Wanda and Sam will take the front entrance.  Your focus is getting all the children out.”  He then blew up the blueprint again before hitting a spot on the opposite side.  “Bucky and Y/N, you’ll go through the back entrance.  Your focus is getting information.  Find whatever hub there is in there and get everything you can.  If there’s a new set of bad guys running around, we need to be two steps ahead of them at all times.”

You drew your bottom lip in between your teeth as you approached the back entrance of the old factory.  It was a beaten-up loading dock, the garage doors left hanging half open. “Don’t you think it’s a little weird that there’s no kind of security?” You asked as your eyes scanned the area around you.  Bucky already had his gun at the ready as he walked ahead of you.  “If they’re kidnapping kids and conducting experiments, you’d think that they’d want to have some kind of guard.”

To his credit, he seemed to agree, even if he didn’t call in your suspicions on the coms.  “If this is some new kind of group, they might not realize how imperative it is to treat their bases like fortresses.”

But as you got further and further into the factory, you got more uneasy.  There was no sign of life except for the occasional rat.  Everything was covered in dust.  Broken glass and wood littered the floor.  There were signs of people breaking in, but it was more than likely a few homeless people looking for shelter.

“Have you two found anything?” Wanda asked, your com crackling.

“We haven’t found any kids or anything,” Sam added.

You looked to Bucky, both of you seriously considering turning back and leaving.  “No,” you said, eyes locked with the man ahead of you.  Something in your gut twisted, but you weren’t going to blow a mission just because of a bad feeling.  

Natasha would tell you to trust your gut.

“But we’ll keep searching for another ten minutes,” you said, steeling yourself.  “If we can’t find anything, we’ll leave.”

“Could be some wild goose chase,” Bucky said, irritation clear on his face.  He looked so menacing in his Winter Soldier garb that it kind of shocked you.  But also, it was kind of nice knowing that only you and a few others got to see how soft he actually was.  He paused as he noticed the door that led to the stairwell, nudging you and pointing to it.

It was the only part of the place that wasn’t covered in dust.

“Someone’s been here,” he said.

The two of you headed for the stairwell, and you let out a huff of air.  “Can we talk about how shitty it would be for us to have been dragged out here only for it to be a false alarm?  The lack of dust could be from a homeless person,” You said, still dreaming of your bed. It had taken the entire flight for your body to wake up, and the first thing you were planning to do when you got back was fall right back into it’s warmth.  “First call since the Final Battle.  Only for it to be nothing.”

“Thought we’d have longer,” he said as he peeked through the door leading to the second floor.  He led you through the door, and the two of you found what seemed to be just another abandoned bunch of machinery.  “I figured—”

He was cut off by a figure in all black jumping at him.  He’d been hiding behind a column, clearly biding his time until the two of you got there.

“GRAB HER!”

You went into battle mode as four more of those black-clad figures appeared.  It all felt like a blur as the two of you fought back against your attackers.  It was a frenzy of uppercuts, jabs, and roundhouse kicks. “Wanda, Sam—any chance you could get to the second floor?” You asked as your thighs wrapped around a man’s head, twisting until you threw him to the ground.

A scream tore it’s way from your throat as you were grabbed from behind, your arms twisting until you couldn’t move.  Thrashing, you tried to force yourself out of their hold, but it was to no avail.  The cold metal of a knife pressed against your throat and you froze.

“Y/N!” Bucky shouted as he noticed your predicament.  There was a bang that resounded through the air and the man holding you crumpled to the ground, his grip on your arms disappearing.

Your heart pounded against your chest as you stared at the men that littered the floor around you.  Their bodies were twisted at unnatural angles, blood pooling on the ground below them.  “J-James—”

He wrapped his arms around you, holding you close. “It’s okay.  You’re safe,” he said, rocking you back and forth.

“I’m sorry,” you whimpered as tears pricked your eyes.  “I-I just. Froze.”  At that second, all you could think about was how that knife felt against your throat.  How scared you were to die.  “I couldn’t think.  I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” he reassured you, smoothing your hair down.  “Anyone else would’ve reacted the same way.”  Bucky leaned back, his eyes searching yours.  “Can you walk?  We’ve gotta get back to the others.”

“Yeah,” you said, getting to your feet with a sigh. Your muscles already ached from the hits you had taken.  You looked at the abandoned factory around you with a new light.  “It was a set up,” you said, brows furrowing as the two of you headed out the front entrance.  “But why?”

Everyone was deathly quiet on the quinjet, too afraid to speak.  The weight of what had happened weighed on everyone’s minds as they became more and more aware of the fact that it wasn’t some new group of villains for your team to take down.  No, it went much deeper than what you had originally thought.

“Are we not going to talk about the fact that for some reason, a bunch of goons just tried to kidnap Y/N?” Sam asked, fury lacing his veins.  His hands were clenched at his sides.  The Captain America shield had been tossed to the side, a little recklessly.

It would appear that Sam and Bucky’s protectiveness over you had only increased since coming back from the Snap.

Bucky was sitting beside you, a blanket thrown over your shoulders while you held Morgan’s Iron Man plushie close to your chest. “Those guys weren’t some new group. They were experienced,” he said, a growl in his voice.  His thigh, pressed against yours, was bouncing anxiously.  “Took us a lot longer than it should’ve to take out those men.”

“Who the hell could it be?” Wanda asked, eyeing you from where she was standing.  Despite the fact that you weren’t much younger than her, she saw you as the baby of the group.  The one that needed to be protected.

Even though Peter was still a teenager.

“I know who it is,” you said.  Everyone’s eyes turned to you, confused.  You wrapped the blanket around yourself tighter. Your eyes met Bucky’s, and he immediately knew where your mind was going.

He sighed, running his hand across his face. “HYDRA.”

[brajeshupadhyay]

Emma Allenby was studying for A-levels when she developed a headache that just wouldn’t go away Emma Allenby was studying for A-levels when she developed a headache that just wouldn’t go away. Initially, she blamed the 30-second bursts of intense pain flashing through the top of her head — something she had never experienced before — on revision-related stress. But then one morning, three weeks after the first bout of pain, it became a debilitating, chronic headache. ‘The pain was so bad it woke me up,’ recalls Emma, now 24, from Loughborough, Leics, who works in sales and marketing. ‘It had moved from 30-second flashes of intense pain to constant pain — and it hasn’t gone away since.’ Six years on, Emma is still suffering, and despite numerous treatments, tests and investigations, no one can yet explain what is causing her headache. ‘I was 18 when it began and everything came to a halt,’ she says. ‘Constant debilitating pain interfered with every aspect of my life. ‘I didn’t take my A-levels, I stopped going out and I was miserable. I took it out on my parents, though I know they understood why. ‘I tried the usual treatments, including paracetamol and ibuprofen. And when they didn’t work I was prescribed stronger painkillers, such as co-codamol, but nothing touched the pain. ‘After 72 hours without sleep from the pain, I was catatonic. Mum took me back to the GP and I passed out after a blood test, going face down on the floor and smashing a tooth. I came round to a massive surge of pain in my head. ‘My tooth got fixed, but the headache continued as it is now; constant, seven-out-of-ten pain which doesn’t change with environment or food.’ Emma’s chronic or long-term headache is not too unusual, according to Dr Joe Guadagno, a consultant neurologist at Newcastle upon Tyne NHS Foundation Trust. ‘Permanent headaches are surprisingly common, both recurring and constant, and are often without diagnosis, which makes treating them challenging — especially since the constant use of painkillers can have side-effects such as overuse actually perpetuating the pain.’ The National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (NICE) said earlier this month that paracetamol and ibuprofen should not be prescribed for chronic pain because they can potentially ‘cause more harm than good’. Emma continued trying every possible treatment, including acupuncture, to try to relieve the pain, to no avail [File photo] Instead, it recommends exercise, therapy, acupuncture and antidepressants for the estimated half of the population who are affected by chronic pain — that is, pain that lasts for three to six months or more. After painkillers failed to alleviate Emma’s headache, she was sent for MRI and brain scans to see if there was a more sinister cause. Dr Guadagno recommends anyone who has a progressive or persistent headache to seek medical attention to rule out serious underlying health problems. ‘New headaches in anyone over 50, and sudden-onset headaches where the pain reaches maximum intensity within five minutes and is associated with symptoms such as sudden or progressively weak arms and legs, fever or confusion, should be checked out,’ he says. ‘There is no specific “brain tumour” headache, but at any age, any progressive or persistent headache, or headache that has changed dramatically over time, usually warrants a brain scan.’ When Emma’s scans came back clear, there was a sigh of relief — but doctors then suggested her headaches might be psychological.  ‘This left me questioning everything and whether my body was playing tricks on me,’ says Emma. ‘One of my biggest fears was that I wouldn’t be believed.’ Her parents, both pharmaceutical research scientists, were determined to get to the bottom of the problem and had Emma referred to a private neurologist in Birmingham. ‘We tried less widely known medicines and methods in an attempt to provide relief quickly so I could sit my A-levels, go to university and get back to a normal life,’ recalls Emma. ‘I was prescribed steroids to reduce inflammation, sodium valproate — which is usually used to treat epilepsy and bipolar disorder, but can occasionally be used to prevent migraine headaches — as well as sleeping tablets, as exhaustion meant I didn’t know who or where I was. ‘But finally the consultant admitted defeat, with no idea what was causing my headaches. I was just left to live with the problem.’ By 2015, a year after the headache started, nothing had changed. A blood test with an endocrinologist — a hormone specialist — revealed that Emma’s levels of the stress hormone cortisol, which can be a marker for pain, were ‘through the roof’, proving to doctors that her intense pain was real. Emma continued trying every possible treatment, including acupuncture, to try to relieve the pain, to no avail.  ‘It left me feeling hopeless,’ she says. Unable to sit her A-levels or continue with normal life, she could only watch as friends left home, headed for university and started new jobs — her younger brother Ben, now 22, among them. ‘There was an underlying jealousy that I don’t like to admit,’ she says. ‘Being an older sibling, I always thought I would experience those things first, but instead I spent most of my days at home on the sofa, unable to move. ‘The lack of sleep was almost harder to conquer than the headaches. Before, I’d been a social butterfly, but now I felt like a burden, going out for only an hour before I was exhausted. ‘Concentrating on anything rather than pain was difficult, and I often switched off. Even having conversations or the attention to watch a TV show was difficult, and I lost some friends. ‘I’d hear myself sounding fed up and miserable and think: “What happened to the bubbly, vibrant girl I used to be?” ’ A breakthrough came four years ago when Emma was referred for cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), a talking therapy to help manage problems by changing the way you think and behave, which is recommended by NICE for chronic pain. While she wasn’t able to offer Emma a ‘cure’, Dr Beverley David, a clinical psychologist, helped her to find coping strategies and deal with the depression that was exacerbating the pain. ‘Beverley helped me realise I could find a way through this,’ says Emma. ‘I was sad and angry, grieving for a life I’d lost but also so fed up with myself.’ Veg patch medicine: The health wonders that lie in your larder This week: Onions for hay fever and allergies Onions are rich in quercetin, a plant chemical that has been shown in laboratory and animal studies to dampen the production of histamine Onions are rich in quercetin, a plant chemical that has been shown in laboratory and animal studies to dampen the production of histamine — the chemical that produces allergy symptoms such as itchy eyes and a runny nose.  A couple of small human studies, including one in the journal Allergology International in 2009, showed that when people with hay fever were given quercetin in supplement form (100-300mg a day) they had reduced eye and nasal symptoms. A medium onion contains 22-52mg of quercetin. While more research is required, eating more onions can’t harm you if you have seasonal allergies.  Sautéeing and baking don’t reduce quercetin, but boiling leaches it into the surrounding water.  Possibly the biggest step was accepting that her headache might never go away and learning to live well with it. ‘Beverley taught me to change the way I think and behave, and tricks to reset my body clock which helped me sleep better,’ says Emma. ‘Sleep deprivation spoils everything. I hated what I’d become and felt I was letting people down. She showed me that I could let this illness strengthen my character.’ After a year under Dr David’s care, Emma decided she wanted to train to be a counsellor (while she continues to work in sales and marketing). ‘I wanted to help make a difference to other people, listening and believing anyone who has been judged over the years for battling with something that no one can see or understand,’ says Emma. Dr David, who now works in Ontario, Canada, says: ‘Working with unexplained physical symptoms can bring extra challenges. Our understanding around mental health is increasing, helping to better support holistic health. Cognitive behavioural therapy helps to reveal links between symptoms, worries and feelings and how to manage them.’ Despite six years of constant pain, Emma’s life is now moving on positively — she is thoroughly enjoying life with her boyfriend, Elliot, 24, a project manager for a bespoke kitchen company whom she met through a dating app, and with her family and friends. ‘If I woke up tomorrow and the headache was gone, I don’t know how long it would take me to believe it,’ she says.  ‘But I can’t put my life on hold waiting for that to happen. All the good things in my life now are more important to me than a sore head, even one that has lasted for six years. ‘I couldn’t be happier with how far I’ve come, but it certainly hasn’t been easy. Living with chronic pain isn’t the end — it’s what you make of it.’ The post Thought your headache was unbearable? Emma’s had one for six years appeared first on Shri Times News. from WordPress https://ift.tt/2Ycoqex

http://sansaartimes.blogspot.com/2020/08/thought-your-headache-was-unbearable.html

[thegayfromrulid]

Frkm 1 allll the way to 99. Also, the next SAO game eugeo lives as a sword and not die (thank GOD)

@2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

Chocolate bars- I will not eat lollipops. 

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

Cotton candy! I actually get super bad headaches from bubblegum.

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

Probably lonely genius...

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

Soda bottles!! I feel so fancy!! And old-timey.

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

I guess tomboy even though I’m a boy??

7. earbuds or headphones?

Aren’t these the same thing? I think I prefer over-ear headphones, but I don’t really like either. 

8. movies or tv shows?

Depends on the genre I guess. But as a main rule, live action- movies, animated- TV shows.

9. favorite smell in the summer?

Potato salad.

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

Frankly, I wasn’t good, but I was really good at pissing all the jocks off-

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

I make myself these homemade egg mcmuffins. I enjoy them a lot. I am very picky about breakfast.

12. name of your favorite playlist?

I only have one and it’s very generic: The Gay From Rulid’s Playlist. Yes it’s on Spotify. Yes, it’s 99% anime openings and endings and maybe Bet On It from HSM2. Be ashamed of me. Go on.

13. lanyard or key ring?

Lanyard! Mine is a BNHA one I bought from an artist at Nekocon!

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

Either Sweet Tarts or Nerds. 

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

I usually have one leg tucked up under me and the other stretched out.

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

A black and white pair of Skechers. They look like shit. They almost never are replaced by another shoe. Not even in the gross muggy heat.

18. ideal weather?

When it’s just warm enough to wear a t-shirt and sit in the sunshine, but cool enough that I’m not hot, and a little breeze is going. I think of this weather quite often. 

19. sleeping position?

On my belly kinda spread out like a shounen protagonist.

21. obsession from childhood?

J.R.R. Tolkien. Have always been obsessed with him and his works. 

22. role model?

Redundant, but Tolkien again. Linguist and writer. Living my dream. 

23. strange habits?

I unplug things like microwaves, lamps, and TVs when I am done using them. Very little remains plugged in at my place. The modem, the fridge, and the clock. That is it.

24. favorite crystal?

Amethyst. It’s my sister’s middle name. And I especially like the purple ones.

25. first song you remember hearing?

Blue by Eiffel 65. I don’t know why that song sticks out so much in my memory but it’s nostalgic for me. Tiny AJ hyperfixated on this song before anything else ya’ll. 

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

Curl up in the sun on a blanket and nap. 

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

Hot cocoa blanket cuddles. 

28. five songs to describe you?

Uhhhh...I’m not very musically literate. Let’s go with Born This Way (the first person I came out to sent me that song so it feels special!), I’m Free to Be Me by Jamie Grace, Praying by Kesha, Shake It Off by Taylor Swift ( @delicateeuphorias​ would you believe it xD), and right now thinking about someone dear to me who’s been gone See You Again is stuck in my brain.

30. places that you find sacred?

Arboretums or big botanical gardens where I can get lost in the plants for a moment and take in how pretty they all are. And old monuments/big things people of the past built. A lot of things were built by people with no rights/freedom and I think about them and how despite the fact that they had nothing, they made such a lasting impact on our world. 

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

*slips on my Owari no Seraph cosplay* I will kick ass in this sweet ass cape-

33. most used phrase in your phone?

My phone seems to think it’s “Kirito’s ass” and I want it to not think that.

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

O-O-O-O’REILLYYYYYYYYYY’S...Autooo PARTS.

35. average time you fall asleep?

I’m an insomniac it could be 10 pm it could be 3 am who knows I sleep for an hour I’m up again...

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

Fucking CAN I HAS CHEEZBURGR cats. 

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

This all boils down to how much I’m packing. Going for a sleepover? Duffel. Going to con? My giant suitcase with room for all the bells and whistles of cosplay.

38. lemonade or tea?

Tea!

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

Oh cruel I looooove lemon. The pie!

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

In high school here- so, aside from me being the resident weirdo (I DID come to school dressed as the TARDIS), my senior class decided to squirt hundreds of bottles of chocolate syrup on the sidewalks. We were an open campus so it’s all in front of our classroom doors- we had no hallways. And then they. They fucking EGGED ALL THE DOORS. The whole campus smelled like...ick.

41. last person you texted?

My father and mother in a group text to cry about customers treating me poorly. 

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

I prefer the jacket pockets because I still haven’t found a way to get men’s pants under the radar of my ever-watchful parents and women’s jeans pockets are SHITTY. Women gotta boycott this shit it is UNACCEPTABLE-

44. favorite scent for soap?

Peppermint...peppermint ^-^ I like to smell like...mint.

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

Fantasy!

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

Recently I was reminded I live alone and my new favorite sleeping outfit...is...just some boxer shorts. Suck it dysphoria. Manly nightwear.

47. favorite type of cheese?

Pepper jack, Swiss, or ricotta. 

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

Strawberry :3

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

I’m gonna sound so gay but when @disasterbikirito​ started laughing about a certain GIF and his laugh was so infectious I couldn’t help but laugh too. 

51. current stresses?

Are you shitting me it’s everything. Every. Single. Thing. I cannot breathe. I am having meltdowns. Someone fucking save me I cannot deal with COVID well.

52. favorite font?

Garamond for writing in my free time, Doulous SIL for all the linguistics IPA symbols my greedy heart desires. 

53. what is the current state of your hands?

Smooth but my fingertips have been gnawed on. I am stressed, okay?

54. what did you learn from your first job?

Gosh, lots of things. But the most important takeaway is that a good boss will genuinely care about you. I miss that man. He was so wonderful and so caring and taught me so much about theater. Technical things and artistic things and historical things. Sometimes I wish I could have made a career out of working under him. 

55. favorite fairy tale?

Beauty and the Beast (AH...AH...I SEE YOU ROLLING YOUR EYES BECAUSE I’M TRANS. I KNOW. I *KNOW*.)

56. favorite tradition?

It’s a family tradition kinda unique to my household. Each year, we draw a name from a hat, and that name comes with a lot of words that describe us and what we liked over that year. We then each take a $20 bill and we go to a little hobby shop with cheap things in it and use that $20 bill to fill a Christmas stocking. We then hang them back up and empty the stocking full of candies and random silly things and have a good laugh and guess who filled whose stocking. 

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

The first one is coming to terms with knowing my dad has a severe illness. It really shook my family up, and it’s terrifying us right now with everything going on, but after a while, I learned that he was smiling, so I could smile, too.

The second one is my mother coming back from her tour in the Middle East on top of the murder of my godmother. Two very stressful things happened at once. My mother got very violent from her PTSD and her best friend died in a horrible way. It was an adjustment for everyone, and it kind of ripped my family to pieces. I can say, though, that my parents are still married and are getting better, and my sister and I are coming back to the family to be more open and healthy.

The third, and maybe some of my followers are aware, was getting rid of my ex-fiance. He was a man who sexually assaulted me repeatedly and I won’t go into details beyond that. It took me 5 years to get rid of him and accept what happened, but I am a much happier person now and while I work through the trauma that caused me, I have the most wonderful partner by my side and if you had told me back then I’d find someone as kind and patient and loving as him, I would have laughed and thought you were insane. 

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

Probably what I put on all my fanfic updates: “I know. I’m an asshole.”

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

Some kind of shoujo romance but it’s bi also I want a sword.

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

There was nothing more smartass than Alice Synthesis 30 in SAO 18 asking a reporter to open up his head and prove he was human I’m sorry like OOF-

63. five songs that would play in your club?

Get in losers, we’re playing Steppin’ Out by FLOW, Elle me dit by Mika, Blue by Eiffel 65, ADAMAS by LiSA, and Touch Off by UVERworld.

64. favorite website from your childhood?

I was on Webkinz more than I want to admit. 

65. any permanent scars?

Yup. I have one on my toe where I split the skin in half. I tripped. I have three surgical scars from when I had my appendix removed. And...the mystery scar. I was supposedly born with a scar it’s at the part where my foot meets my leg on my left side and you can see how it’s stretched over the years if you run your finger over it. The joke is that the doctor taking out my mom’s appendix scratched me in the womb. 

67. good luck charms?

Not really a charm but I do have a little Kirito keychain I carry everywhere I go that I fiddle with when I’m nervous.

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

Artificial bubblegum. Disgustiiiing.

70. left or right handed?

I am right-handed.

71. least favorite pattern?

Zig-zags. 

72. worst subject?

History...I am ashamed. It’s interesting, I just suck at it.

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

Gingerbread and marshmallow. I am a bit picky about mixing foods and flavors, so this was the weirdest I could think up. 

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

Can you hear that? It’s my hysterical laughter. 12 on a scale of 10. I get up there pretty frequently. Thank you, chronic crippling pain. 

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

I...I don’t remember...I don’t even remember...I think I had to be like what...kindergarten? 

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

THIS IS CRUEL I LOVE ALL POTATOS I LOVE THEM ALL SO MUCH-Au gratin.

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

Aloe!

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

Coffee from a gas station. Mark my words...I will never get grocery store sushi. Ever. Again. My stomach has not forgotten. What a mistake. That was. 

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

So, my driver’s license hasn’t had an updated photo since I was 15 and just had a learner’s so I look like I want to murder a man but my school ID I had just run about a mile in the cold because the bus wasn’t running that day and my face is red and I look like I’m crying...probably the school ID...

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

Jewel tones~~

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

I am from the South and we call ‘em lightnin’ bugs.

82. pc or console?

Errrrr console. I’m not a gamer by any means but there’s way fewer things to press on a console controller. 

84. podcasts or talk radio?

Neither...what...no...neither...they will put me to sleep...I will be out in seconds...the most dangerous things...people talking...and then I’m out...

84. barbie or polly pocket?

Barbie, she’s a LOT easier to dress. Those rubber clothes. SMH.

86. cookies or cupcakes?

Cookies but they gotta be the soft ones.

87. your greatest fear?

Being swallowed in the ocean. By a fish or a whale. I don’t play. Church kid don’t play with big things in the ocean with big mouths.

88. your greatest wish?

To make enough of a difference in someone’s life that they learn to love themself.

89. who would you put before everyone else?

Such a selfish thought...gosh...the mere thought of prioritizing someone troubles me. 

90. luckiest mistake?

Telling a cute guy sending me dog pictures was an excellent flirting technique as he sent me pictures of his puppy. I immediately thought “oh god I’ve fucked up bad” and at present we’re kinda head over heels for one another so maybe just be stupidly blunt once and a while you might find true love. 

91. boxes or bags?

Boxes. My cat didn’t force me to say that. Not at all. Sock, buddy, off the keyboard-

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

Sunlight. I like the sun. The sun is my friend. It is warm and would never betray me.

93. nicknames?

Sister calls me “spoony” when she’s being ridiculous. No, I don’t know what that means. Mama calls me “cakes.” I had friends who called me “Deku” because I’m a crybaby. Had a few people DM me and straight up call me “Eugeo” or “Eug.” AJ is technically a nickname. 

94. favorite season?

Springtime!!!!! It’s...HERE!

95. favorite app on your phone?

I use like three apps...so Discord.

96. desktop background?

It’s. It’s Kirito and Eugeo. What did you expect.

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

Mama’s, dad’s, mine, and my parents’ house number. And does the emergency 911 count (pahahaha). 

(I answered the others in delicateeuphoria’s ask!)

[verus-veritas]

Metabods: Change of Mind (1)

Time for another favourite story of mine. It’s a bodyswap story written by “Mango Deville” on the Metabods site. I really, really love this story and it’s definitely one of the Top 3 Best Bodyswap Stories of all time! /Verus

This happened a few years ago now.

Stuart was just lying there, unable to do anything with his life. I had come into his room on a late night prowl of the hospice made more restless than normal that night due to the news I had received that day. My suspicions had been confirmed, I had inoperable liver, stomach and bowel cancer giving me only a few more months to live.

Not that I could really complain, at 64 years of age I know that I had had a reasonably long and active life. Although I hadn't been in an intimate relationship since my last lover and I parted company twenty-five years ago I had to be grateful for what I'd had. Let's face it, it was a life of sorts at least, unlike some of the patients whose physical welfare I tended as the resident physician and who tonight I looked in on. Most were here only due to the “wonders” of modern medical technology.

Case in point was Stuart here, 23-year-old son of a wealthy industrialist, all but killed in a motorcycle accident on the family estate about a year ago; physically his young body had healed completely, flawlessly you might even say. His brain, however, had never recovered; he had never regained consciousness and brain scans failed to reveal any activity. In a less advanced society he would have died and been laid to rest after the accident. But his parents had denied him this natural process, refusing to accept the medical facts and well able to afford 24 x 7 intensive care for what was basically only the shell of the vivacious and high-spirited man-boy that I had also known, as private physician to the family. His mother regularly spent long hours by his bedside trying to revive him with her conversation and massaging his surprisingly still very fit body; there were hardly any signs of wasting away, a rare situation that gave her hope. But there was never any response and it was probably a matter of time before they finally accepted the inevitable and let him go.

I looked ruefully at Stuart, his chest rising and falling rhythmically but somehow mechanically; in the dim light I could see the heart stimulating pad that was taped to his firm chest. A respirator sat beside the bed but it was not expected to ever be used. During my tenure at the hospice I had grown to accept the tragic waste of patients like this as part of life's cruel irony. In the soft glow of the machines that were keeping his body alive and on that day of all days the irony of the empty shell of such a beautiful youth lying here for want of an active brain resounded heavily in my mind. Irony, because for want of just such a healthy body my brain would soon be silent like his.

Many thoughts had gone through my head that day but I don't quite know what prompted me to decide to try out such a crazy idea. For some years to relieve the boredom of my normal work I had experimented with brain wave patterning, always with laboratory animals of course but ultimately as a possible means of cancelling out criminal and antisocial behaviour in humans too. I was not unaware of the ethical dilemma of this concept but was not really expecting any major breakthroughs to need to worry about those realities now, if ever. And now it appears that nothing would ever come of it anyway, despite some interesting results among some of the larger mammal subjects I had tried lately. The concept was for the “good” brain wave patterns of one subject to be read into a computer and “mapped” into the other subject's brain, erasing the negative patterns. I had been experimenting with horses recently (the hospice kept a few for the active but terminally ill patients to enjoy) but to get the strength of signal required there had been problems with feedback. The donor subject would get some of the recipient's brainwaves back through the system, usually for example it would respond to the recipient's name (as well as it's own still) and other behavioural anomalies. It was as though there'd been a slight merger of memory. Certainly the recipient benefited from the experience as behavioural patterns immediately took on the donor horse's profile; it even responded to the donor horse's name! There was some evidence of a merger on this side too.

Of course all this experimentation was done on the quiet and was completely unknown to the other staff of the hospice, but I had documented everything I had done on the laptop and the main copies were on my desktop computer at home.

Perhaps it was ill-formed thought processes caused by the reaction to my bad news but also there was a feeling that maybe my experiments could help Stuart here and perhaps other patients like him. There was not also some degree of pride in the thought that my “brain” was somewhat worth saving; having been gay all my life had meant I had not had children to pass any of my characteristics on to. Perhaps I could pass my brainwaves over to Stuart and he would be able to function again? At the same time it would be like I was passing him some of myself, my characteristics so that he could make use of them. I decided there was nothing for either of us to lose, either of our lives would be measured in months now, as things stood.

So that night I went back to my office and got my experimental apparatus, consisting of a laptop computer, a pair of skullcaps, an electrical transformer and some loops of wiring to connect them all together. On my return I plugged in the transformer and connected the skullcaps to it and the laptop in parallel. I booted up the computer and loaded the program and realised I would need to modify the parameters for the different body weights (for the electrical charges) and relative brain masses (for the mapping) of humans compared to horses. I entered the data and the computer quickly calculated the settings it would feed to the rest of the apparatus. I positioned a chair by the bed and placed the laptop next to Stuart's left arm, facing the chair. I then placed the recipient's skullcap on his head and located it carefully, as I had learned the criticality of its correct positioning with the previous experiments. Stuart at least did not move with the unfamiliarity of it, unlike the horses.

The other cap I placed on my own head and, using the mirror across the room over the washbasin in which I could see myself from where I stood next to the bed, positioned it carefully. I sat on the chair and placed my right hand in Stuart's left one and clasped it tightly (this wasn't necessary but I appreciated the feeling of warmth it gave me). With my left hand I clicked the laptop mouse button to initiate the sequence. I remember the feeling of buzzing in my brain rising from almost nothing to what no doubt had caused the horses to react nervously. For them I had resorted to mild sedatives recently but had not even thought of it for myself, having only just decided to do this on the spur of the moment. It was nothing really compared to some of the pain of the cancers I was carrying in my body. The buzzing was getting to be most objectionable and I remember thinking that at least I was confident that Stuart would not be feeling anything. And then I blacked out.

I woke with a jolt, the buzzing in my head was down again to a bare minimum. I went to open my eyes but the lids seemed strangely heavy as they do when you are awakened suddenly from a long deep sleep. My eyes took some time to focus clearly though there was no problem seeing with the light in the room—I could make out the clock on the wall across from me, it read a quarter to 1, about 12 minutes after I had started my “experiment”.

Then it struck me! I was looking at the clock from a different angle from what I should have, sitting on the low patient's chair beside the bed; I was higher than that and my neck was at a reclined angle from which it was a slight strain to focus on the clock. And I could feel a hand in mine but it was my left hand, not my right one!

Noting the stiffness of my body I pushed myself upright with my free hand and realised it was the bed I was on, not the chair! And the hand I was holding was that of an older overweight man who was slumped motionless in that very chair I was sure I had been sitting in only minutes before. And that man was me! I was looking at my own body from afar—was this an out-of-body experience? Slightly panicky, I searched the room and my eyes fell onto the mirror over the washbasin and there was the ultimate shock! Looking back at me was Stuart, animated and sitting up in bed! And I saw the startled look on his face in complete accord with my emotions. I moved my head and Stuart moved his too! I raised my right arm and waved my hand and Stuart raised his arm and waved back at me. How could this be, was this possible, was I inside of Stuart's body?

Just then the fact that I (or was it Stuart?) was still wearing the skullcap caught my attention—perhaps instead of merely transferring brainwaves more than that had gone across; my consciousness in fact! So where had Stuart's consciousness gone? But then he hadn't had any consciousness had he? Is that why my (former) body lay slouched in the chair? As the thought dawned on me I instinctively reached up and removed the skullcap and it's wiring from my.. er.. Stuart's head. How would I explain this, that the former me was now at least comatose possibly dead and I was now alive inside of Stuart's body? It would appear to everyone that I had “stolen” his body! And what a body to steal! Prime of youth 6 foot 2 23 year old with a slim but muscular physique, blue green eyes and sandy coloured hair. And then there was his flawless skin, skin that when he arrived last year had acquired a golden hue from outdoor activities in the summer months but was by now somewhat paler from his time in the hospice. No one would ever understand.

I reached over and saw that my former self was indeed lifeless. Without brain activity and the life-support system that had kept Stuart's body alive all these months it had probably taken no time at all for the body to die, certainly less than the 10 minutes I had been unconscious. There was obviously no going back now. In a strangely horrified reaction to something that I had called “me” for over 60 years I shook free of the hand that still clasped mine.

Perhaps I could hide what had actually happened? My brain ticked over quickly—I would have to remove all traces of the “experiment”. With some effort I reached over and removed the skullcap from what was formerly my head. I wrapped the two of them together and reaching down to the other side of the bed, opened the cupboard door and tossed them inside. The transformer was a standard issue one though there had not been need of one for any of the equipment in Stuart's room. Again with some effort I reached down and switched it off. I picked up the laptop computer from the bed; I could see from its display that it had been coordinating and recording the miraculous process that I had just been through. Somehow I had to save this data but not let it get into anyone else's hands, of course. Fortunately I had previously loaded a rewriteable CD into the machine as I had previously found this to be the easiest and most secure way to transfer data from my experiments to the desktop at home. I quickly typed in the commands to copy the data onto the CD, noting the stiffness in my fingers. I guess when you haven't used your muscles for months, as Stuart hadn't, you can't expect them to be anything but stiff, despite his mother's massages.

My immediate thought was to delete the files from the laptop lest someone discover them but stopped myself; I normally waited till I knew the CD could be read before deleting the files, a habit formed from making an early mistake with saving data. I remembered I could encrypt them so did so and set the password to “Change_Of_Mind”, my “codename” for the experimental work I had been doing. I removed the CD and placed it into an empty CD case that I saw was lying on top of the bedside cupboard, next to the portable CD player with which I had seen Stuart's mother play his favourite music in her efforts to revive him.

Finally I pushed my former body back into the chair and slumped it over to one side (away from me).

I closed down the experiment program and opened my expenses spreadsheet, did a minor change so that it would look like I had been working on it, and launched the screensaver program. I positioned the machine on “my” lap and arranged “my” right hand as though I had been typing but it had fallen loose.

Satisfied that most of the evidence of my experiment was now removed and a plausible view of “my” former body's death was established I lay back for a minute to think about how I could “become Stuart”. I knew the boy well enough, delivering him and being the family physician for all his 23 years, but it was gonna to be hard for them to accept the inevitable differences in our personalities. I decided that perhaps they would believe that it was the result of the months of coma, a form of amnesia, maybe. I, too, would need to remember what it was like to be young and free of worries.

I had been lying there for about 15 minutes and realised one last thing. I was supposed to be comatose and there I would be perfectly normal in the morning when someone would find us. Only one thing to do, knock myself out for some time and then I could “awake”, to everyone's miraculous relief, no doubt! I remembered the tranquillisers that I had been using to give myself a few hours sleep each night, relief from the pain of the cancers. They were in my breast pocket! I reached over and gently removed the strip, took four from it, replaced the rest and then smoothed down the jacket again. From the cupboard I took the glass of water Stuart's mother used to moisten his lips... er... my lips with. Swallowing the pills was not easy (even my throat muscles were unused to activity) but after a moment I'd got them all down.

I lay for another 10 minutes or so before I could feel their effect but while I was waiting another thought occurred to me. Once or twice I had arrived to visit Stuart as the hospice's Chief nurse Peter had been finishing sponge bathing Stuart. I had been slightly jealous of the strongly built male nurse's job, really only when it came to Stuart, I admit, but couldn't help wondering at his enthusiasm to take on this particular patient with such personal zeal. My suspicions were confirmed when driving past a gay bar on the other side of town one night I saw Peter coming out of the bar, and he wasn't alone. That was some time back and I had seen him again on two more recent occasions also leaving the bar. But both of the later times he was alone which had surprised me because not only was he well built but he was quite good looking with a white blond mop of hair and possibly Nordic features. I reminded myself that gay life in our town was not necessarily a hectic social whirl (it certainly never had been for me my whole life) and with shift work perhaps Peter did not often meet other available gay men. The second time I saw him come out alone I actually felt real sympathy for the man.

On the last occasion that I had arrived before Peter had quite finished Stuart's sponge batch I discovered that he was gently cleansing Stuart's genitals, and the sight of it was enough to make me even more jealous. From where I stood at the doorway I could see that Stuart's penis and balls were quite large and not only was Peter bathing them meticulously he was obviously enjoying the moment too, from the sizeable bulge I could see in his white uniform trousers. I momentarily wondered had Stuart gotten an erection then, as a response to the warm soapy water, whether Peter would have “helped him out” if he had thought he was not likely to be disturbed. The thought had sustained me for a number of nights in my own bed, too.

I raised my “new” hand and looked at it; it was a reasonable size for a man. I then thrust it down under the covers until I located “my” genitals. Sure enough the penis I felt there was a size that surprised me even at such close quarters and my balls were easily larger than my hand could grasp together. I could almost feel an erection coming on (I was starting to get used to feeling things through Stuart's body) but the tranquillisers were kicking in. Instead I contentedly dropped the weighty objects between “my” legs and fell into a heavy sleep in which, I am now convinced, parts of Stuart's life were revealed to me in flashbacks. This would prove to be a common occurrence over the next few months.

(End of part one)

Source: “Change of mind” by Mango Deville on Metabods.com

[kakoli-blog]

Here Are Tips For Good Health And Good Sleep! Life Scientists Teach the Truth Of Body Clock

In 2017, three American researchers who discovered the mechanism of the biological clock received the Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine. The body clock is the part of the body that controls the time, and its mechanism has been gradually understood in recent years.

In fact, if the function of this watch is disturbed, things like jet lag may occur, such as not being able to fall asleep when it is supposed to be sleepy, or blurring when it must be awake. It would be nice to be able to move during the day by being aware of the function of the internal clock. We asked a life scientist, Professor Yasumi Ueda, a professor at the Graduate School of Medicine, The University of Tokyo, for tips on how the biological clock works and how to sleep better.

Japanese people don't have enough sleep in the first place

Sleeping time is about 7.5 hours on average is just right. However, Japanese people have the shortest sleep time among developed countries, and according to statistics, the average sleep time on weekdays in their prime of their 30s and 40s is about 6.5 hours.

Insufficient sleep reduces the efficiency of human work, so the social loss is considerable. If you do not have enough sleep, you will lose your thinking skills, and it will become more difficult for you to use your judgment and your head. Research has not yet revealed the mechanism of sleep, but securing sleep time to ensure a proper rest is the first step to health.

Satisfactory sleep time depends on physical condition

Do you feel like you're sleeping lightly or have a hard time getting up in the morning when you've got some sleep? The reason is that the sleep time that the body wants depends on the environment and physical condition at that time.

Every day, especially when you're moving, feverish or ill, you'll be signaled to rest, and you'll be more drowsy, while you can't sleep, such as in an emergency such as a fire or earthquake. Wakes up even when you are usually sleeping. The effect on your body depends on when, how much, and when you sleep. If you feel drowsy, just make sure you're healthy.

The internal clock is reset by the strong light of the morning

The internal clock keeps running in a 24-hour cycle, much like an analog clock keeps running around. The center of the biological clock lies in the suprachiasmatic nucleus above the intersection of the optic nerves, from which it issues instructions to the clocks of cells and organs. In other words, we know that there are many biological clocks in the body, not just one.

When each clock tells its own time, the clocks cancel each other out, resulting in a very weak clock as a whole. However, when the strong light that wakes up in the morning reaches the suprachiasmatic nucleus, It resets various clocks and adjusts the clock to adjust the time so that blood pressure, pulse, body temperature, and secretion of hormones are adjusted according to the clock. There is also established treatment to reset the internal clock by exposing it to strong artificial light, such as opening curtains and spending time in a bright room so that you can feel the sunshine when you wake up in the morning. Yeah.

Exercise in the morning with strong light

When the body clock catches the strong light of the morning, about 14 hours after that, the secretion of sleep hormones begins.

If you can't sleep well when it's time to sleep, go back to the time you want to sleep and get a good light and move your body during that time. Research shows that when you exercise, calcium enters the brain cells and your brain rests when you exercise, and when you exercise or use your head, I come in when I think a lot, so spending more during the day will improve the quality of sleep at night.

People can sleep for a set time

People, unlike other animals, have the ability to sleep for a set amount of time, so they can usually sleep together for 6-7 hours without getting up. On the other hand, for example, small animals repeatedly sleep and wake up.

I don't know the details of why people can sleep together. It may be that they can sleep because they are less dangerous than wildlife, or maybe it is necessary for humans to sleep together. Either way, I think there's a reason to sleep together, so make sure you have a good night's sleep environment, so you don't have to worry about getting in the middle of your sleep. It would be nice to keep it.

REM sleep is the time needed to learn

During sleep, we alternate between non-REM sleep and REM sleep. After falling asleep, your brain's blood flow drops and you rest, and you enter a deep sleep, non-REM sleep. After a while, the time of light sleep called REM sleep comes.

It is said that waking up when REM sleep comes is good for waking up, but since the cycle of non-REM-REM sleep varies, it is difficult to know exactly when the waking up time is good. Some people may think that REM sleep is not necessary because their sleep becomes lighter and they may wake up halfway, but in studies of mice operated so that they do not sleep, REM sleep disappears, We know that learning is deteriorating, and I think REM sleep is a time deeply involved in learning.

[kunecdarina]

SPECIAL REPORT: George Calombaris Latest Investment Has Experts in Awe And Big Banks Terrified

Australia citizens are already raking in millions of dollars from home using this “wealth loophole” - but is it legitimate?

(ABC News) - Australian chef has made a name for himself as a brash straight-talker who doesn’t mind being honest about how he makes his money. Last week, he appeared on The Project and announced a new “wealth loophole” which he says can transform anyone into a millionaire within 3-4 months. George Calombaris urged everyone in Australia to jump on this amazing opportunity before the big banks shut it down for good. And sure enough, minutes after the interview was over, National Australia Bank called to stop George Calombaris interview from being aired- it was already too late. Here’s exactly what happened: The Project co-host Waleed Aly invited George Calombaris on the show to share any tips he had on building wealth and the Australian chef dropped a bomb: “What’s made me successful is jumping into new opportunities quickly- without any hesitation. And right now, my number one money-maker is a new cryptocurrency auto-trading program called BTC Profit System. It’s the single biggest opportunity I’ve seen in my entire lifetime to build a small fortune fast. I urge everyone to check this out before the banks shut it down.” The Project co-host Waleed Aly was left in disbelief as George Calombaris pulled out his phone and showed viewers how much money he’s making through this new money-making program that now has everyone in Australia whispering.

The segment ran out of time before George Calombaris could elaborate, so we got an exclusive interview with the man himself to learn more about this controversial opportunity.

ABC NEWS EXCLUSIVE WITH GEORGE CALOMBARIS

“You may have heard about this new cryptocurrency investment platform called

Bitcoin Profits

that’s helping regular people in Australia, Asia and North America build fortunes overnight. You may be skeptical because it sounds too good to be true.”

Calombaris continues:

“I get that because I thought the same thing when a trusted friend told me about it. But after seeing with my own eyes how much money he was making, I had to try it for myself.

I’m glad I tried it because it was some of the biggest and easiest money I’ve ever made. I’m talking tens of thousands of AUD a day on autopilot. it’s literally the fastest way to make a windfall of cash right now. And it’s not going to last for much longer when more and more people find out about it. Or when banks shut it down for good.”

WHAT EXACTLY IS BITCOIN PROFIT AND HOW DOES IT WORK?

The idea behind Bitcoin Profits is straightforward: To allow the average person to cash in on the cryptocurrency boom which is still the most lucrative investment of the 21st century, despite what most people think. Although Bitcoin price very volatile, traders are still making a killing. Why? Because there are thousands of other cryptocurrencies besides Bitcoin that being traded for huge profits on a daily basis. Some of these cryptocurrencies include Ripple, Ethereum, Monero, Zcash and Ripple and they are still making returns of over 10,000% and higher for ordinary people in Australia. Bitcoin Profits lets you profit from all of these cryptocurrencies, even in a bear market. It uses artificial intelligence (AI) to automatically handle long and short selling for you so you can make money around the clock, even while you sleep. Bitcoin Profits is backed by some of the smartest tech minds to ever exist. Richard Branson, Elon Musk and Bill Gates just to name a few.

These tech geniuses have built multi-billion companies on solving complex issues like online payments, computing, and transportation. Now, they’re tackling on the global problem of wealth inequality by letting anyone - no matter how rich or poor they are - make enough money to enjoy a happy and fulfilling life.

THE LUCRATIVE MONEY-MAKING SECRET BIG BANKS DON’T WANT YOU TO KNOW

George Calombaris goes on, “We’re seeing hard economic times, and this is the solution people have been waiting for. Never in history have we had such an amazing opportunity that ordinary people can easily take advantage of to generate tremendous wealth in such a short time. Some people are hesitant to try this because it’s so different. And that’s because the big banks are trying to cover this up! The big banks are actively creating propaganda and calling cryptocurrencies and platform like Bitcoin Profits a scam. Why? They are worried their corporate profits will shrink once their customers know how to create massive wealth themselves. The truth is, cryptocurrency is the revolution of our lifetime and anyone who does not jump on this opportunity is missing out. I’ve already received angry calls and threats from big financial corporations because I’m bring this technology to people’s attention. But screw them. People in Australia are already starting to know the truth and it’s only a matter of time before more and more do. I’m sharing this because I’ve also received hundreds of emails from people thanking me for sharing this secret. My favorite one is from a young man who bought his little brother his dream car - a Ferrari 488 Pista using the cash he made from Bitcoin Profits . This platform is truly making the lives of everyone in the world a little better.”

DOES BITCOIN PROFIT REALLY WORK? WE TEST IT OURSELVES TO OUT

Our senior editors wouldn’t let us to publish the interview with George Calombaris until we verified that Bitcoin Profit is a legitimate make-money-from-home opportunity. Our corporate leadership did not want us releasing any information that could potentially cause citizens of Australia to lose their hard-earned money. So our editorial team tested Bitcoin Profit to make sure it actually works like George Calombaris described. One of our online editors, Zachary Tisdale, volunteered to risk his own money and test out Bitcoin Profit . Zachary is a 53-year-old father of 2 boys, whose wife lost her job last year due to illness. He admitted he was struggling financially and this investment opportunity could be the answer.

ZACHARY REPORTS:

"At first, when I heard the interview with George Calombaris , I thought he was joking. Making money from home is only a dream. I decided to try it anyway given my financial circumstances- and for the sake of good journalism.

I watched an introductory video about the platform and then signed up. The video seemed to be over-promising but I put my skepticism aside. Within a few hours, I received a call from my personal investor. He answered all questions and doubts I had, and assured me I was going to make money. Period.

My personal investor even promised that if I lose even a single dime, he would promptly refund my $350 AUD deposit. That’s how confident he was this was going to change my life. Now that’s customer service beyond anything I’ve seen and no wonder banks are scared.

Once I received access to the platform, I deposited my initial investment of $350 AUD. That’s about is what my family spends on junk food every month, so I decided to stop taking us to fast food for a month. Now we can be healthy, plus have the opportunity to earn money.

The Bitcoin Profit system itself is a cryptocurrency auto-trading platform. The software uses advanced AI algorithms and machine learning to predict exactly when cryptocurrencies will go up and down. Then it will automatically buy and sell for you around the clock. Technology has already made our lives easier in every possible way, so why not use it to make more money as well?”

ZACH’S REAL TIME RESULTS WITH THE SYSTEM

“Within 1 hour of depositing $350 AUD, the software started trading for me. To be honest, I was nervous it would lose all of my money. And sure enough, my first trade was a $25 loss! I felt my throat close up. I thought I had been scammed. I was even ready to call my personal investor and ask for my money back. But then I remembered what my he told me earlier on our call: The algorithm is right about 80-89% of the time. You’re not going to win EVERY trade, but you’ll win enough and be profitable overall. So, I let the software keep trading for me and watched it closely. The next trade was profitable! Only $19 but it was still something. Then the next trade was $51 profit. Then $22 profit, making a total profit of $67. And this was all under 5 minutes! Soon I started scooping up cash like ice-cream and I couldn’t believe my eyes. Every time I refreshed the screen, my profits grew higher and higher. I felt like I was on drugs because this was such an exciting rush.

Now I know why George Calombaris is in a good mood all the time. And why the big banks don’t want people anywhere near this wealth loophole. By the end of the day, I had made over $754 in profit AUD, not bad from a starting investment of $350 AUD! I was so excited I barely got any sleep. The next day was Tuesday and I had to go back to work. To be honest (and don’t tell my boss this), it was hard to focus on my job knowing the Bitcoin Profit software was making me money. I snuck out to the bathroom a few times to check my profits, and they kept stacking up (with a small loss here and there). At the end of the day, before I put my kids to sleep, my account balance showed $1,349.13. That’s more than I earn in a WEEK at my regular job! By the end of the week, I made a total of $5,349.12 AUD. I withdrew exactly $4,500 and re-invested the rest. Within 2 days I received my first check in the mail- for exactly $4,500. I couldn’t believe this was real life!”

Zach continues,

“Now, I am consistently making an additional $700 to $1,500 per day thanks to

Bitcoin Profit.

Now, the money just gets deposited into my bank account every few days. Just a few clicks and I received my funds within 24-48 hours. Every time the transfer hits my checking account, I have to pinch myself to make sure I wasn’t dreaming.

Luckily, I LOVE my job here because I get to bring people important news stories (like this one) otherwise I would have quit by now. I did, however, plan a vacation for my family to Bali Indonesia to celebrate being out of debt and finally having my family’s finances back on track!

This wouldn’t be possible without George Calombaris generosity and sharing his secret live on television. And I’m happy I took the risk to try Bitcoin Profit myself. My wife is happier than ever and my kids’ toy cupboard is well stocked.

My co-workers are kicking themselves they didn’t sign up two weeks ago like I did. But soon, our entire office signed up (including my boss) and they are calling me a “hero” for trying this.”

HOW TO GET STARTED WITH BITCOIN PROFIT (LIMITED SPOTS AVAILABLE)

To get started, you only need your computer, smartphone, or tablet with internet access. You don’t need any specific skills other than knowing how to use a computer and browsing the internet. You don’t need any technology or cryptocurrency experience because the software and your personal investor guarantees you make a profit. Another perk of this program is you get to start when you want. You can make your own schedule- whether that’s 5 hours a week or 50 hours a week. Just start the auto-trading software when you wish, and you can pause whenever you want (I don’t know why you ever would though). To save our reader’s time and double check the ’s functionality, Zachary kindly created a guide to getting started on the system.

HERE’S MY STEP-BY-STEP WALKTHROUGH:

The first thing you see is a video showing off the power of Bitcoin Profit. The advertising is big and bold and in your face, but it is an American product and that’s how they do things. Anyway, you simply submit your name and email address next to the video to get started right away. (Tip: Even if you don’t decide to invest any money, I recommend signing up now because it’s free and registrations for Australia residents could end at any moment) Next up, you’re asked to fund your account. As I was navigating the deposit page, my mobile rang. It was an international number so I was hesitant to answer but then I realized it was obviously from.

Sure enough, it was my own personal account manager. His service was great. He took me through the entire funding process. They accept all major credit cards like Visa, MasterCard and American Express. I went ahead and deposited the minimum amount which is $250 USD or $350 AUD.

Once funded, I navigated to the “Auto-Trader” section of software, set the trade amount to the recommended $50 and enabled it. The software started making trades at a rapid rate and I was concerned at first but let it do its thing. “Everyone wants to be rich but no one knows how to do it. Well, is the opportunity of a lifetime to build a fortune that will allow you to live the life you truly desire. It will NOT be around forever, so do not miss out.” – George Calombaris

UPDATE

We just received news that as of today (Thursday, June 27, 2019) almost all positions are filled up for Australia residents. Bitcoin Trader can only accept a limited number of total users to keep the profit per user is high. As of right now, there are still (37) spots left, so hurry up and sign up now to secure your spot.