#i think depression hit lmao

[sweeneydino]

Run bro

[cyberstudious]

wednesday, march 6th, 2024 ☀️

it feels like spring is here already and the warmer days make me so happy. as much as I like the cozy vibes, I was not built to be cold lol. this week has been really good so far and I feel like the future is bright. nothing like spring to bring out the optimist in me :')

today's self-care & productivity

had the most focused workday that I've had in what feels like forever

saw So Many birds on my lunchtime walk (and also these flowers!)

studied for ~2 hours and made some progress in the final challenge

ate fruit & veggies :)

[shima-draws]

Big shoutout to One Piece for awakening my motivation and inspiration to draw when it was dormant for *checks calendar* over a year

[camgoloud]

who else up feeling the soul-numbing empty hopelessness for absolutely no reason this friday night

[leviiackrman]

Did I choose to start redecorating my room this evening? Yes. Have I only just finish for the night? Also yes. There will be more tomorrow tho…

[just-spacetrash]

.

[juniperhillpatient]

alright besties new happenstance is officially written I’ll edit & post tomorrow after my job interviews 😊

[jrueships]

you asked, you shall receive (also forgive me this is gonna be hella long but also it's ur fault bc u asked for it)

so what i was thinking of was that before the season even starts, hollywood thinks he's gotten over the whole qb-wr-breakup thing quite well. it's been more than a year since he got traded, he got a whole season down with his new team, so he thinks it's all gucci leading up to opening week.

this confidence comes crashing down on him though when the season actually starts, and he sees lamar & obj chopping it up better than they ever did (this is just a bold prediction laced w a lil hope from me but don't mind it). it doesn't help that lamar has really good chemistry with the rest of his brand new receiver core as well, with rashod and especially that rookie zay flowers (who's already been called a "better hollywood" before). it nags at hollywood's pride to see his ex (lmao) thrive without even thinking of him, to the point where he rants to kyler whenever the ravens do something (aka hating because they're good). he tries to keep his feelings at bay until week 8, but inevitably fails once the game rolls around and lamar has that same great chemistry with his receivers (especially obj, but he's like The Notorious B.O.T.T.O.M. so it doesn't matter)

the game goes how the game goes, but after the fact, they do the ole shake hands pat on the helmet thing and hollywood is zoned out most of the time. when he gets to lamar, he tries desperately to avoid eye contact, avoid seeing the shimmering lights of victory (another bold prediction but shhhh) in lamar's eyes. lamar doesn't carry that air of somberness and melancholy that he did during the preseason game last year, he looks like he's moved on from the trade for real and something about it bothers hollywood. basically, the roles are flipped from last time and hollywood hates it lmao

this is mostly from holly's perspective but if you want i could expand a lil more on lamar's side of things (i do think this all messed holly up more than it did lamar but maybe that's my bias as a ravens fan lol)

KARMA KARMA KARMA KARMA!!!!!!! I LOVE IT.

^^a good remind of my thoughts to hone in the irony

YES THOOOOO I LOVE IT. BECAUSE IT'S HOLLYWOOD'S 'BLAME IT ON THE BUSINESS. IT'S JUST BUSINESS. IT'S NOTHINF PERSONAL KID, HEH.' coming back and EGGING HIM ON THE FACE x10 OVER. Like he already got the shell of it with the whole thing accidentally hurting lamar's feelings and then relationship with the organization for a bit.. but those could be not exactly excused.. but have their damage diminished by the necessity cause of business. Hollywood's not the bad guy... the BUSINESS is! Hollywood's not responsible, doesn't need that weight, can't bear the weight anyways... the BUSINESS IS! the business CAN!

... and now, the business is Actually playing a role, without Hollywood forcing it to. Now, it says 'you know what? You want us to play the bad guy? .... Aight. Check this then.'

Quarterbacks need new wide receivers after their old (trustworthy) (best friends) Ditch them, so. All business did was get Lamar some. All business did was step up where Hollywood couldn't because business holds the power and the responsibility and Hollywood? Does not.

And if one of those wide receivers happen to be THE notorious B.O.T.T.O.M, old dirty bastard O.B.J?

That's just business, baby.

As it's .. 'apparently' always been. So why have the nerve to complain now, marquis? Hm? Seems a bit . Suspicious .

And clearly, Lamar is doing okay. No, more than ok, Better. He's doing WAY Better. And that's what was wanted, right? By business, anyways. And by personally, it should be too. By good people. And business isn't good people... so why does it get the positives? The Bad Guy?

... maybe because it wasn't.

At least in the beginning, anyways.

But Hollywood doesn't wanna think about that. And he doesn't want to think about how funny he feels about seeing Lamar so happy now... WITH OTHER PEOPLE, i mean. That's the problem. The ONLY problem. It's with other people. He's happy when Lamar's happy because he loves lamar and hes the kind of good person that loves that his lover is happy. He can do that. He doesn't have to FORCE himself to be good. He's not a bad person, no- fuck. He's not . Selfish. IT WAS THE BUSINESS. OKAY? IT WAS AN EXECUTIVE BUSINESS DECISION ON HIS PART. for his CAREER.

So he's not sore at all about leaving. He's not sore about some 'better Hollywood' on the- HIS old team now. He doesn't care about some new young wr core. And obj will probably pull some diva shit soon enough or whatever. He. Presumes anyways. Or... hopes, moreso- NO FUCK. HE DOESN'T HOPE. THAT WOULD BE- it's just- well. I mean. If something WERE to happen then well- so be it...........

Anyways. It doesn't matter. He doesn't. He doesn't care. Because clearly. Lamar doesn't either, anymore.. and hollywood Definitely doesn't care about that....... because if, and this is an IF, he METAPHORICALLY DID . . he would miss it. He would miss it like a horrible person would AND HE DOESN'T ! BECAUSE

HOLLYWOOD

ISN'T

A

HORRIBLE

--

.

[riwrite-a]

so confession ive been feeling really stuck with this blog tbh. it just feels so messy and cluttered here and im really struggling to feel like im able to, with a few exceptions, have any meaningful interactions (which is solely on me, yall are lovely <3). the logical thing i think is to remake but i hate remaking and need to think a little more on that. but ive had incredibly high muse for especially my prsk kids and i just. dont know what to do with it bc of this feeling

[kurthorton-moving]

I fear. I worry. That rp is. Not really it for me anymore

[didderd]

First impression: oh hey cool artist making stuff about a disorder I'm curious about. Might as well follow him :)

Current impression: Still a good artist, takes better care of itself than most artists I follow, but still needs to remind themself to take breaks sometimes (like everyone)

I started following recently so my opinion hadn't changed/developed much.

(Also I know this might sound weird but I love your gender so so much. You're starting to make me want to try out it/its pronouns in private because I never really thought about that as an option before!!! But you can do anything with your gender!!! And it is so cool!!!!!)

ty! :'>

and SKDJVKJ YIS! go for it! (doesn't sound weird. i am actually very happy to hear that <333) i love my gender too. i love it/it's pronouns and neo pronouns. and jus. anything queer. i love being a queer lil creature. lil gremlin guy. so much love to my fellow queer lil gremlins, and especially fellow it/it's users <33333

(and i encourage anyone to experiment with queer things in any way. specially with pronouns. anything to your comfort. you won't find judgment here <333)

[midnightwind]

the headache persists after I passed back out for over 12 hours

[gender-euphowrya]

happy 2015 everyone

[phagodyke]

only 16 days until my next drs appt where I'm gonna ask abt antidepressants that's basically only two weeks away I can survive another two weeks of this. I've survived this long anyway

[aceyanaheim]

You know your therapist is a real one when she laughs alongside with you at your insurance company

[computer-gummy-worm]

* feeling the despair clawing on my back again * might need a new arts and crafts project asap