#i think depression hit lmao
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sweeneydino · 2 months ago
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Run bro
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cyberstudious · 8 months ago
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wednesday, march 6th, 2024 ☀️
it feels like spring is here already and the warmer days make me so happy. as much as I like the cozy vibes, I was not built to be cold lol. this week has been really good so far and I feel like the future is bright. nothing like spring to bring out the optimist in me :')
today's self-care & productivity
had the most focused workday that I've had in what feels like forever
saw So Many birds on my lunchtime walk (and also these flowers!)
studied for ~2 hours and made some progress in the final challenge
ate fruit & veggies :)
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doubledyke · 3 months ago
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me: i gotta get my shit together
the shit in question: drawing gay cartoons and writing gay fanfiction
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chrisbangs · 11 months ago
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hello... (and bye ig 👋)
#👋😭 hi...#i haven't come on in about a month and i didn't realize a month passed by like that... i've kinda stopped using any apps on my phone#i barely even talk to my friends anymore lol 😭#i just saw my follower count this morning and realized i hit 13k and i was like 🥸 huh...#uhhhhhhh 😭 idk i wanted to say thank you i guess 🫂#i'm done with stayblr and tumblr in general 😭 this much has been obvious for a while now... i tried to fit myself back in during 5star but#i think i realized i've outgrown the vibes here and in online spaces in general... i don't really enjoy it anymore 😭 which is weird cause#i've used tumblr since i was in middle school so 🫡 end of an era some would say...#i think it sucks because i don't have the same feelings about this place or skz or anything in my life right now... i tried to ignore it bu#it's so obvious now that the entirety of december passed without me really talking to a single person / without me using social media /#without me really doing much except for like homework and assignments lmao#i think genuinely i've stopped enjoying everything i used to like and i don't know why 😭 it hit me the other day bc i don't even enjoy#pc collecting anymore which is CRAZY considering how much time and money i've put into that hobby so 👋🥸 who knows what goes on#i haven't consumed any skz content since rockstar dropped 😭 and that also feels weird to me... idk... i would say maybe i'm going through a#depressive episode but i don't really feel how i do then... i think i'm just tired like i always am and that's just how i am now .. i think#i'm just not really interested in things anymore? weird but .. yeah idk😭 if i knew what was wrong i would Fix It sndjdndkd mostly i'm just#sad because i haven't been talking to friends... i keep ignoring everyone and not replying to any texts from anyone because ????#i tell myself i will do it later but i know i won't ... idk i genuinely don't know why i'm struggling to talk to ppl anymore 😭 i've become#even more of a reclusive hermit than i already was 💀 and the worst part is i feel normal abt it#i don't feel /bad/ i just feel guilty that i'm not replying to ppl bc i don't want to hurt ppls feelings... on my end i feel Normal abt it#like i ??? is it weird that i'm so detached from everything that not even a month ago made me so happy..? that's weird right 😭 like idgi#i don't feel (as) depressed (as i usually do) but clearly ?? smth is wrong ?? like ik i'm not a clingy sentimental person but ? it kinda#makes me sad wondering if i really don't care abt ppl anymore ... but i think 😭 it's also the object permanence issues that come with adhd#not seeing or talking to the ppl i love . not doing my hobbies or seeing the groups i care abt . makes it easy to not care or forget what#they make me feel etc etc ... i get it... but idk 😭 if that's what this is . well wow it sucks ASS.. cause i feel guilty for not feeling#anything at all ... 😭 idk how to explain that HENSKDNISJS anywayyyy 💀#i came on cause i wanted to say thank you for 13k followers 😭‼️ and that i probably will not be online anymore unless i really want to say#this was a really long winded way to say i feel bad but i'm done with stayblr fr 👋🥸 i tried so hard for the last 2 years to make it feel#like home again but it stopped ages ago so 🥹 that's ok.. i still cherish my memories here 🫂 anyway thanku and sjsjsksksks bye i guess 😭#who knows maybe i'll enjoy it one day again and come back :') never know what the future holds 🫡
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babacontainsmultitudes · 8 months ago
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Just know the urge to rewatch the breakfast club is plaguing me and it’s entirely your fault what have you done to me /j lol
LOL DUDE I was literally just talking with one of my sisters about how I'm kind of itching to rewatch that movie now lmaooo you *should* you should actually!
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shima-draws · 8 months ago
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Big shoutout to One Piece for awakening my motivation and inspiration to draw when it was dormant for *checks calendar* over a year
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nandeitai · 22 days ago
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using my annual six month tumblr reappearance to wish a happy No But Seriously Imagine It day to all who celebrate. i’m clocked the fuck in on phan twitter for the first time in probably 8 years because this joke is genuinely unironically healing my inner child, most specifically my 15 year old self who had to deal with the worst month of my entire teenage years, october 2015. i vividly remember like three full days of that month in excruciating detail and then it’s completely blank until at least february 2016, but in the midst of all the haze i have always remembered “no but seriously imagine it” gracing my dash for the first time like a flickering lantern in an abandoned old tunnel
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leviiackrman · 11 months ago
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Did I choose to start redecorating my room this evening? Yes. Have I only just finish for the night? Also yes. There will be more tomorrow tho…
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camgoloud · 11 months ago
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who else up feeling the soul-numbing empty hopelessness for absolutely no reason this friday night
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just-spacetrash · 2 months ago
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.
#not feeling so great as of lately#i thought it was just that i was thinking about stuff at a too late of a time yesterday but now its morning and i still feel bad#sure i slept very badly so maybe its still that but idk it still doesnt feel great no matter what the reason is#i feel like. so annoying lately#and like yea maybe i am and it shouldnt matter yk like all that ur allowed to be annoying and just be urself and whatever#but it just of takes a lot out of u when u t talk about ur interests or ur day or smth ands like everyone just brushes it off or ignores u#and obviously im probably being dramatic like this is a busy time of the year!#and its not always about me and like other ppl have their reasons to do what they do u know#but it still feels bad :'))#also this isnt about like anyone specific its like a combination of little things that FEELS bad to ME not a thing someone else does#like i know ppl dont have to care about stuff yk i like that i KNOW they dont care about so like what do i expect#and i dont ever know what to say to stuff idk anything about either so its very understandable#but its took me years to like. talk about things i like without prompting so it feels like a big hit when i dont get any reaction back fsgsh#and thats not trying to blame anyone else either its not anybody elses fault im not good at something#i think my kind of insecurity is showing one of my friends had to reassure me that yes they do want to hear how im doing fsgsh#but im thankful for that it feels good to hear when ur feeling kind of unstable with ur relationships fshsh#also since i am feeling like. unstable on EVERY relationship i suspect its just seasonal depression or stress or something#still wont stop the brain from like trying to blame itself lmao#this is kind of stupid idk what im trying to even say here#my post#vent#maybe ill delete it later?? this feels stupid
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juniperhillpatient · 10 months ago
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alright besties new happenstance is officially written I’ll edit & post tomorrow after my job interviews 😊
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thedeviljudges · 3 months ago
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how am i supposed to go back to work on monday like my life hasn't literally changed this past week lmaooooo like what
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petvles · 1 year ago
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Mr worldwide come to the Netherlands challenge
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jrueships · 1 year ago
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you asked, you shall receive (also forgive me this is gonna be hella long but also it's ur fault bc u asked for it)
so what i was thinking of was that before the season even starts, hollywood thinks he's gotten over the whole qb-wr-breakup thing quite well. it's been more than a year since he got traded, he got a whole season down with his new team, so he thinks it's all gucci leading up to opening week.
this confidence comes crashing down on him though when the season actually starts, and he sees lamar & obj chopping it up better than they ever did (this is just a bold prediction laced w a lil hope from me but don't mind it). it doesn't help that lamar has really good chemistry with the rest of his brand new receiver core as well, with rashod and especially that rookie zay flowers (who's already been called a "better hollywood" before). it nags at hollywood's pride to see his ex (lmao) thrive without even thinking of him, to the point where he rants to kyler whenever the ravens do something (aka hating because they're good). he tries to keep his feelings at bay until week 8, but inevitably fails once the game rolls around and lamar has that same great chemistry with his receivers (especially obj, but he's like The Notorious B.O.T.T.O.M. so it doesn't matter)
the game goes how the game goes, but after the fact, they do the ole shake hands pat on the helmet thing and hollywood is zoned out most of the time. when he gets to lamar, he tries desperately to avoid eye contact, avoid seeing the shimmering lights of victory (another bold prediction but shhhh) in lamar's eyes. lamar doesn't carry that air of somberness and melancholy that he did during the preseason game last year, he looks like he's moved on from the trade for real and something about it bothers hollywood. basically, the roles are flipped from last time and hollywood hates it lmao
this is mostly from holly's perspective but if you want i could expand a lil more on lamar's side of things (i do think this all messed holly up more than it did lamar but maybe that's my bias as a ravens fan lol)
KARMA KARMA KARMA KARMA!!!!!!! I LOVE IT.
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^^a good remind of my thoughts to hone in the irony
YES THOOOOO I LOVE IT. BECAUSE IT'S HOLLYWOOD'S 'BLAME IT ON THE BUSINESS. IT'S JUST BUSINESS. IT'S NOTHINF PERSONAL KID, HEH.' coming back and EGGING HIM ON THE FACE x10 OVER. Like he already got the shell of it with the whole thing accidentally hurting lamar's feelings and then relationship with the organization for a bit.. but those could be not exactly excused.. but have their damage diminished by the necessity cause of business. Hollywood's not the bad guy... the BUSINESS is! Hollywood's not responsible, doesn't need that weight, can't bear the weight anyways... the BUSINESS IS! the business CAN!
... and now, the business is Actually playing a role, without Hollywood forcing it to. Now, it says 'you know what? You want us to play the bad guy? .... Aight. Check this then.'
Quarterbacks need new wide receivers after their old (trustworthy) (best friends) Ditch them, so. All business did was get Lamar some. All business did was step up where Hollywood couldn't because business holds the power and the responsibility and Hollywood? Does not.
And if one of those wide receivers happen to be THE notorious B.O.T.T.O.M, old dirty bastard O.B.J?
That's just business, baby.
As it's .. 'apparently' always been. So why have the nerve to complain now, marquis? Hm? Seems a bit . Suspicious .
And clearly, Lamar is doing okay. No, more than ok, Better. He's doing WAY Better. And that's what was wanted, right? By business, anyways. And by personally, it should be too. By good people. And business isn't good people... so why does it get the positives? The Bad Guy?
... maybe because it wasn't.
At least in the beginning, anyways.
But Hollywood doesn't wanna think about that. And he doesn't want to think about how funny he feels about seeing Lamar so happy now... WITH OTHER PEOPLE, i mean. That's the problem. The ONLY problem. It's with other people. He's happy when Lamar's happy because he loves lamar and hes the kind of good person that loves that his lover is happy. He can do that. He doesn't have to FORCE himself to be good. He's not a bad person, no- fuck. He's not . Selfish. IT WAS THE BUSINESS. OKAY? IT WAS AN EXECUTIVE BUSINESS DECISION ON HIS PART. for his CAREER.
So he's not sore at all about leaving. He's not sore about some 'better Hollywood' on the- HIS old team now. He doesn't care about some new young wr core. And obj will probably pull some diva shit soon enough or whatever. He. Presumes anyways. Or... hopes, moreso- NO FUCK. HE DOESN'T HOPE. THAT WOULD BE- it's just- well. I mean. If something WERE to happen then well- so be it...........
Anyways. It doesn't matter. He doesn't. He doesn't care. Because clearly. Lamar doesn't either, anymore.. and hollywood Definitely doesn't care about that....... because if, and this is an IF, he METAPHORICALLY DID . . he would miss it. He would miss it like a horrible person would AND HE DOESN'T ! BECAUSE
HOLLYWOOD
ISN'T
A
HORRIBLE
--
.
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ardentpoop · 11 months ago
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once again brooding abt how i should write an original novel
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riwrite-a · 1 year ago
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so confession ive been feeling really stuck with this blog tbh. it just feels so messy and cluttered here and im really struggling to feel like im able to, with a few exceptions, have any meaningful interactions (which is solely on me, yall are lovely <3). the logical thing i think is to remake but i hate remaking and need to think a little more on that. but ive had incredibly high muse for especially my prsk kids and i just. dont know what to do with it bc of this feeling
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