#i still feel the same way when i'm in love with someone as i did when i was like 16.
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prael · 2 days ago
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Day 2: Covered
IVE An Yujin x male reader smut
words: 6,374 12 Days of Praelmas Masterlist
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They said you could have been special; you would argue that you are.
Destined for greatness. A bright future. Whichever other way they wanted to express it.
The thing is, not everyone is cut out for the centre stage, and that's okay. You still get to do what you love, surrounded by people who share the same passion and work just as hard. Sometimes in life, you are the backup dancer in someone else's story. Sometimes, you literally are the backup dancer.
Yujin however, Yujin is the star. The one the world adores. The one that everyone around her seems to orbit.
You're just another face in her gravitational pull. You're on the stages and you're in the videos but no one remembers your name. There's probably an edit on Weverse somewhere with a sticker on your face. It's fine though. You've long made your peace with it.
You refuse to let that take away from the fact you spend so much time with An fucking Yujin. You've seen her in every single state, every emotion. She likes her 5 am coffee black and her mid-day one with ice. Yujin loves it when you massage her shoulders after practice and hates it when you play the same song twice in a row. However, the thing she loves above all else (and this can never go public) is having you on your knees—serving her like the queen you know her to be.
That's her secret. It's one you bear—one you're fine with keeping.
The final shoot is tomorrow, and today's practice is over but you know better than to follow everyone else out of the studio. You wait and you linger, and when the room clears out and you're sure everyone has left, you kneel and you wait. Sure enough, she notices and a smile creeps onto her face.
You don't bother to look up. Instead, you stay kneeling, waiting, knowing she's going to make her way over to you.
She does.
You hear her soft footsteps approaching and see the shadow fall over you as she stands there, looking down at you. You look up, slowly, eyes trailing up the length of her legs, over the expanse of her bare thighs and then just as you reach her hips, her fingers slip into your hair. She tightens her grip and yanks your head back so she can stare directly into your eyes.
"Did I say you could look at my legs?"
You gulp, feeling the tug on your hair and the way it makes your scalp burn. Your throat is dry, mouth parted and eyes wide. "No," you respond.
"Then what are you looking at?"
"I'm sorry," you quickly apologise, your hands clenching into fists and relaxing again as she tugs harder, her grip unrelenting.
"Sorry isn't good enough," she scoffs. "Why do I always have to teach you a lesson?"
You open your mouth to speak but the words die in your throat when she shoves you to the ground and kicks her leg out, planting her foot on your chest.
"Take off my shoes, don't talk."
You rush to comply, untying the laces of her sneaker before slipping it off. Yujin switches foot and you obediently repeat the action, putting the shoe beside the first one. You know that you can't allow your eyes to linger, but her bare legs are right over you and it takes all your self-control to look away.
"Socks," Yujin mutters.
You take a deep breath, knowing exactly what she wants you to do. You're slow to reach out, placing a hand on her ankle. She lets you, allowing you to gently lift her leg and slide her sock off, dropping it to the ground beside her. Your hand slides higher, caressing the soft skin of her calf, tracing the contours of her muscles. You're almost distracted until Yujin clears her throat, glaring down at you.
You nod, sliding the second sock off her foot and letting that join the first. You don't know where to look, her skin is right in front of you, begging to be kissed. Her eyes are boring into you, demanding all your attention.
"I don't know if you deserve it," she hums, lifting her foot. She drags her toes over your chest, the ball of her foot pressing down just beneath your collarbone.
"Deserve what?"
"To taste me," she laughs. "Don't think I didn't notice how distracted you were today. Don't think I didn't notice you staring at me."
"I wasn't—"
"Don't lie," she interrupts. "It's a bad habit."
You're so hopelessly disarmed. Lying underneath her on the hardwood floor of the studio with your body burning. She's so beautiful, and it's not fair. It's not fair how the universe created someone who can ruin you so easily and look so effortless doing it.
"You're lucky it's recording today tomorrow. You know what that means."
Like any other day before a big something, Yujin has a need for a release. It's a tradition at this point. The days leading up to something are so full of stress and excitement that it all gets too much and the only way for her to relieve herself is to use you.
You nod. You know exactly what it means.
She lowers her foot, and you feel her toes brush against the crotch of your shorts. You suck in a breath as she rubs up and down the fabric, pressing into you. She's watching your reaction, watching the way you bite your lip and clench your fists.
"You've been bad today. Distracted. Not focusing. Do you think you deserve this?"
"No," you shake your head.
"I don't think you do either." She removes her foot, stepping back.
It's torture. You clench your eyes as hard as your fists, desperate not to act out of turn.
"But you know what I want," she continues as you dare to open your eyes and look up. She's staring at you, hands on her hips. "You know what to do to get back on my good side."
You nod. Of course, you know. It's not the first time you've found yourself on the floor beneath her. You sit up on your knees and shuffle forwards. Her shorts are black and loose. Your fingers slip into the waistband and you tug them down slowly, sliding them over the curve of her ass, past the smooth, glowing skin of her thighs and down to her ankles.
You take a breath. You're so desperate. So hungry. She's wearing the laced panties you like. The ones you bought for her and left in her bag. They hug her so tightly that she seems to be straining against them. Her ass looks perfect, her thighs thick and inviting and her cunt...you can see the outline of her folds. The thin material barely covers her. She knows how much it affects you.
"You're staring again," she huffs, pushing her hand into your hair once more and tugging roughly.
"I can't help it," you whimper.
Her fingers twist and you feel the burn in your scalp once more as you wince in pain. Yujin's hand moves from your hair, dragging down the length of your neck and around to the front of your throat. Her hand squeezes gently, thumb and index finger digging in just below your jaw.
"You can. You will."
You gasp, her grip is tight and you can't breathe, your eyes watering with the pain and the pleasure that it brings. She leans forward, her breath hot against the shell of your ear, her grip tight. You're trembling, shaking with the effort of holding back.
"Beg me," she whispers.
"Let me taste you. Let me kiss you. Please, please let me—"
Her grip on your neck tightens, cutting you off. Your words dissolve into a whimpering mess and your eyes roll back in their sockets as your body melts into her. Her touch, her words, her everything has such an effect on you that it takes you to another world. The only thing that exists is the two of you.
"Pathetic," she scoffs, her lips brushing your ear. "You'll do anything, won't you?"
"Yes," you moan, and you mean it.
"Good," she says as she pushes you away and you collapse back against the ground. "Now make me feel good, will you? I'm sick of waiting."
Yujin steps over you, her legs on either side of you and she pulls the laced underwear to the side, lowering herself down until she's hovering just over your mouth.
She looks ethereal like this, the lights shining down on her. The goddess of your dreams, the star of your story.
"Please, let me—" You don't even need to finish your sentence, Yujin sinks down, pressing her pussy onto your lips and you open your mouth to lick at her. A mouth full of pussy, the taste of her arousal hitting your tongue. She grinds down, the soft skin of her thighs pressing in on either side of your face, trapping you. You lick again, tongue flat against her, licking up from her entrance and over her clit. She grunts and her hips buck forward, grinding her pussy down harder on your lips.
"More," she pants.
And you give it to her. Your tongue laps at her, teasing her clit. Her hips roll and you feel the slickness between her legs growing and it's all over you, coating your face as you desperately reach for her thighs. She slaps your hand away.
"Did I say you can touch?"
You struggle to shake your head between her legs.
"So keep them down."
Your hands go back to your side and she groans in approval, grinding harder and faster, using you like she knows she can. This is so Yujin, to use you like she's nothing but a toy for her to play with. You don't care, you'll do whatever she wants.
You're lost in the moment, your tongue licking, tasting and teasing as you desperately try and find the rhythm she's moving in. Her thighs tighten around your head, trapping you there. You cut shapes across her clit with your tongue and you feel the shuddering of her legs as she whines. She loves it when you write her name with your tongue. The letters spelling out An Yujin.
It's all it takes for you to be consumed by her. She's in your system and all you want to do is make her feel good.
Even the powerful, composed, elegant, Yujin has to succumb in some form to the pleasure. She's been riding you with so much poise and posture. Her back is slightly arched, so above you is just the beautiful expanse of her upper body—clung to by a sweat-soaked white shirt. She's running her hand across her chest, her fingers twisting a nipple as she works herself into a frenzy on you. Her head rolls, her hand moves to the base of her neck and she moans.
She basks in the light shining down on her, and it's a sight to behold. The way it glistens on her skin. The sweat runs down her chest. Her hair, her face. The way she looks when she's so completely in the moment.
"Fuck—" she gasps and her thighs tense around your head.
You're trapped and you're struggling. Your face is covered in slick and your mouth is filled with her taste. You feel like you're suffocating and all you can think is that this is how you want to die, with Yujin all over you. Yet you know there's more to come. She starts to crumble. The poise fades and she leans forward, slamming the palm of her hand against the floor.
She hunches as she rides harder. She's fucking down onto your face. Grinding her pussy on your lips and your chin, chasing the ecstasy that she needs. She's so close you can feel it in the way she trembles. You hear it in her moaning, her whines. She's there. Right there, on the cusp. 
And how you wish you could take hold of her. Grip her juicy ass in your hands and push your mouth against her cunt and fuck her with your tongue. You'd do it. You would. Your hands twitch at the thought. Your fingers curl into the floor instead. There will be no marks on Yujin's perfect skin from your fingers right now. You keep them clenched and do as you're told.
"Fuck—" She grunts, her thighs trembling. You can't move and you can barely breathe. All you can do is lick at her and let her ride you like a toy.
It's enough. Yujin cries out and her back arches, her head falling backwards. She comes and it's the most glorious sight, watching her body tense as her thighs tremble, clenching around your face. She grinds, rubbing against your tongue as she draws it out. It's messy and loud. She's panting, her chest heaving and she moans, rocking her hips and gasping.
It's like the tension washes out of her body and she sinks down, relaxing against you. She sits on your chest, looking down at you, a satisfied smirk on her face. You try to smile back but all you can manage is a dopey grin as you struggle to catch your breath. She's beautiful like this. Her eyes shine bright, the light behind them twinkling. Her skin glows and she looks like a work of art. A masterpiece.
"You did well," she praises, reaching out to touch your face, stroking her fingers across your cheeks, "you always do well for me, don't you?"
You nod. "I'd do anything for you," you say, and you mean it.
"I know you will." She shifts her hips, her thighs clamping down around your face again, restricting your air. Yujin laughs. "You'd let me suffocate you if I told you to."
And you would. You really would.
"But, I still have use for you," she tells you as she dismounts. Yujin relaxes on the floor next to you, her head propped up on her elbow.
You take a breath and roll over to look at her, still gasping for air. She smiles, reaching out and cupping your face with her hand, thumbing the wetness of her from your cheeks. You're a mess, covered in her, and her eyes tell you how much she loves that sight. How much she enjoys the power of having you like that.
Yujin leans over, her lips grazing over yours. The kiss is so light it makes you shiver. A complete contrast to what you've just experienced. She walks this balance so perfectly. The rough and the gentle, the affection and the torment. She's the best at both and she plays with them like an instrument.
"Do you like me?" Yujin blinks innocent eyes and it's a trap that you fall right into.
"Yes. You know that I do. I like you a lot."
Yujin grins. "Do you like my body?" She shuffles closer, looking down at you a little more. "Do you want to fuck me?"
You gulp, your mouth watering as your eyes wander over the curves of her figure, the way her nipples press against her shirt, the way the hem of it has risen, exposing her midriff and how she plays with the lace of her panties on her hip. You're so hard that you're aching and she knows that. You want her, you need her, you'd give anything to feel her.
"Yujin," you whimper. "Please."
"Do you deserve to fuck me? After being so bad today?"
"I can make up for it. I'll do anything—"
"I bet you would," she hums. Her hand reaches out, sliding over your shorts, her fingers grazing over the obvious bulge. "You want it that badly?"
You nod and you're desperate.
"You want to be inside me?"
"Please, Yujin," you whimper.
She grins, tugging at the waist of your shorts and slipping her fingers under the waist. "You want to grab my ass while I ride you like the toy that you are? Do you want me to bounce on your dick, hm? The one that belongs to me?"
You bite your lip as you nod fervently, watching the way her eyes shine and the corners of her lips twist. Yujin lets out a soft laugh at your desperation.
"Then worship me." She pulls her hand away from your crotch and places it on her hip to pose. "Show me how much you like my body."
Yujin rolls onto her back, throws her hands above her head and bends a knee as her other leg stretches out. She looks so perfect, so inviting. So you climb to your knees, looking over her as she relaxes. There's a natural arch to her body between her shoulders and her ass that leaves a sliver of light between the small of her back and the floor. She's an art piece. Like a statue carved from stone, sculpted and designed to be admired. A creation so beautiful and elegant.
And you're on your knees for her, kissing up her outstretched leg. Your hand traces over her thigh. You're slow, taking your time. The skin beneath your lips is so soft, so smooth, so delicate. You don't deserve her. Your lips press into the path your hand paves up her body. Gentle kisses of appreciation on the thigh you adore so much.
"Yujin—" you breathe the words hot onto her skin. A lick, to taste the sweat from her body, a kiss, to mark the spot. A honey-laced laugh rings in the air. "You're so beautiful," you murmur.
Your mouth presses against her hip, tongue trailing over her skin. Your fingers lip up under her tight-fitted shirt. She's so warm. Her body feels like it's burning and her breaths are heavy.
She looks down the length of her body to watch you as your hand slides up, pushing her shirt with it. Your lips graze over your stomach, tongue teasing and tracing over the defined lines. You're in awe of her. She's perfect, and she knows it, but you still want her to know that she's appreciated. That she's worshipped, admired, adored, lusted for, and wanted.
"I know I am," she laughs, "but tell me more."
"An Yujin," you breathe the name into her skin as you kiss your way to her chest, your hand sliding further up her body until the palm of your hand rests on the softness of her breast. "No one is like you," you whisper as you squeeze the mound in your hand, feeling her body beneath you, feeling the way it moves when your hand does. "You're so flawless."
She moans softly when your fingers pinch her nipple. "Keep going," Yujin hums.
"You're stunning," you continue, looking up at her face as you kiss across her chest to the other breast, your hand still fondling. Your mouth hovers over her nipple and your eyes flicker up to meet hers as you lick over it. She gasps and you lick again, teasing and flicking over it. "You're the most decadent, alluring thing I have ever laid eyes on."
"I'm your fantasy?" Her hands move to the top of your head, her fingers twisting into the strands of your hair as you lick, sucking her into your mouth again, teasing her with the flat of your tongue. You suck and she lets out a sharp hiss of a moan.
"My fantasy," you breathe the words against her chest. "You're my dream."
Her hips lift, pushing against you and the growing ache of your erection. The friction, the heat, the feeling of her—it's so good. She grinds, rolling her hips and rubbing against your cock, smirking at the way you whine, your eyes fluttering.
"You want to cum," she taunts. "Don't you?"
"Yujin," you moan her name again as her fingers twist tighter in your hair. Your hips roll down to meet the grind of her body and your mouth finds the crook of her neck. You inhale the scent of her. You're surrounded by Yujin. It's dizzying. She's everywhere. The smell of her, the taste of her on your tongue and lips, the feeling of her skin on your hands, under your body, the sight of her, the sound of her voice. Everything is Yujin, and you can't think of a better world to live in. "I want you," you tell her. "I want to be inside you, I need you."
"I know what you need," she hums. Yujin's hands tug on your shirt and you sit back and pull it off. Her palms press against your chest, pushing you to lie back on the floor. You watch her and the grace with which she moves, kneeling over your waist as she peels her own shirt over her head and tosses it to the side.
Your eyes are all over her body. Yujin's hands run over the softness of her skin, and she cups her tits in her hands, rolling her thumbs over her nipples, her eyes locked on yours as you watch. Her body is a wonderland. There's no part of it that you haven't seen. No inch of her skin you haven't touched or tasted. You know every crevice of it, every mark and blemish, every imperfection. You know them all and you love them. They're the most perfect imperfections you've ever seen.
She knows the power that her body has over you, the control it gives her. Yujin knows how to wield that weapon, how to make it into the sharpest sword, and how to cut you with it.
"Fuck me," you plead, the words escaping your lips in desperation. "Yujin, please."
"You beg so beautifully for me," she smiles, her fingers sliding under the waistband of your shorts. "Lift your hips."
And you obey, lifting them from the floor. Yujin's fingers tug at the fabric, pulling them down your thighs. She smiles at the sight of you, hard and leaking. Yujin's hands slide over your bare thighs. You're exposed, and the feeling of the cool air hitting your skin sends a chill up your spine. Her palms slide up until she wraps one around the base of your cock and her touch sends a shiver through your body. Yujin strokes up, slowly, twisting her hand on the upstroke. Your hips buck at her touch and she grins at the way your cock twitches, the precum leaking across the back of her hand as she reaches the top.
"You're so needy," she says as her hand glides back down. Your eyes are wide, watching every move she makes as if your life depended on it. "I like it," she tells you.
"I'd do anything—"
"I know you would," Yujin laughs, cutting you off. She shuffles forward on her knees until her thighs press on either side of your waist, caging you between her. The way she towers over you, with that look in her eyes that says you belong to her. "You're my toy, aren't you?"
"I'm your toy."
"That's right." Her hand squeezes tighter around the base of your cock as she lifts her hips, hovering just over you. You don't know how long she's going to keep you waiting, you never do. It could be seconds, it could be minutes. She has a sadistic streak that you've never understood and it's always a game of how desperate can she make you before giving in to your begging. "And who does this belong to?" she asks.
"You. Yujin. It belongs to you," you breathe the words, your fingers curling into the palms of your hands.
"That's right, it belongs to me. This cock," she strokes up again. "It's mine. Isn't it?" Yujin's fingers trace up, circling your tip.
"It's yours," you whimper. The desperation has you whining.
"It is," she laughs, and it's a sound that makes your stomach twist into knots. She squeezes you and lifts her hips just a little, enough for you to feel the heat of her body. You feel her thighs squeeze against you as she grinds her pussy on the underside of your cock, dragging the length of you through her folds and over her clit.
Instinct dictates that you bring your hand to her hip, but you know you can't just take hold of her, not unless she's given the go-ahead. You clench your hands tighter, biting your lip to hold in your frustration, your desperation.
Yujin's hips rock against you again, grinding down and using your cock to get herself off. You can feel the slickness between her legs. You can hear the wet sound it makes. She's using you, and she's loving every second. It's the sound you know too well. She's getting herself off. The feeling of her is intoxicating, and your cock is throbbing, twitching as it slides against her pussy, hitting her clit. The moans from Yujin's lips tell you exactly what it's doing to her. How much she loves the way it makes her feel.
You can't touch. You can't take control. All you can do is lie back, your head tipped back against the floor as your fingers grip in vain at the floor, struggling to keep them from reaching out for her. Yujin's body moves like silk in the wind, and you know she's so close. The sound of her, the feeling of her. She's riding the edge, grinding down, the tip of your cock catching on her entrance as she teases you with every move.
"Yujin—" you beg her name as your head falls to the side, eyes clenched closed.
"What?" Her voice is thick with lust and you feel her hand on your chin, gripping your jaw, her nails biting into your cheeks. She turns your face and forces your eyes open to watch the way she moves. "You want to be inside me?"
You can only nod in reply, feeling her fingers tighten around you, squeezing. She grins, leaning over and you feel the breath of her laughter on your neck. Her lips brush your skin. Her teeth nip, biting down on your shoulder, making you wince. Yujin's hips roll forward, and the tip of your cock catches on her entrance. She holds there for a moment, a silent torment of anticipation as your mind swirls and your stomach flips. And then you feel the heat, her warmth as she slowly pushes herself onto your cock. You watch with a hitched breath, your heart hammering in your chest. You feel her. She feels you.
The breath you'd held rushes out, a gasping moan, the feeling of being enveloped by her body. The tight warmth as Yujin sinks all the way down. Her pussy grips your length, squeezing tight and you can feel the way it flutters, the way it grips, the way it clenches around you. Your eyes meet hers, and you can see how much she enjoys having this effect on you. How she loves the way you react, the sounds she forces you to make, the way you squirm and gasp beneath her. She owns you. Completely. Utterly. Irrevocably.
Her hands press down on your chest, and she starts to move, rolling her hips, circling, lifting up just enough that she can feel you slide in and out of her. You can feel it all, you're aware of every movement she makes. How she grinds her clit against your body on the downstroke, the way her hips tilt to find the right spot, the way she moans when she hits the perfect angle. The way she moves when she finds the right pace, the perfect rhythm. It's everything and all at once.
"You feel so good inside me," Yujin purrs. She leans back, placing a hand on the top of your thigh. Her body is open to you. She's exposed. The panties she still wears are pulled to the side, her breasts bouncing with every move of her body, her stomach tightening, the soft skin pulled taut as her abs clench. She's a sight, a beauty to behold and a treasure to worship.
"Yujin, please," you breathe the word into the space between the two of you. It's not enough, you need to touch. You have to. But you're trapped and she's in charge. "Let me touch you."
"No." It's simple, the way she says it. It's like she's not even thinking about the effect she's having on you like she doesn't even realise what she's doing to your sanity. She rides you like a toy, her hips moving, grinding down, her thighs squeezing and relaxing as she works. You can only whine, lying back against the ground. You watch as she takes what she needs from you, her hand slipping down her stomach and to her clit, circling quickly as her moans fill the room. "This is my cock," she breathes, "and I'll do what I like with it."
"Yes," you hiss as your hips push upwards, your hands balled into fists at your sides. You're so hard it hurts. It aches and it throbs, and all you can do is lie back, trapped beneath Yujin and her powerful thighs. "Yujin—" you breathe, but the words stick in your throat.
Her eyes are dark, the lust-filled pools staring down at you as you lie back, completely helpless and at her mercy. Your cock twitches and she gasps, her hand on her clit, rubbing furiously, chasing her release. She's getting closer and closer with each passing second and it shows in her face. Her brow creasing, lips parted and eyes fluttering.
She's fucking herself on your dick. Yujin is using you to get herself off and you love every second of it. The feeling of her walls gripping you tight, squeezing, her body clenching around you. The way her thighs tense and shake as she moves. Her moans, her gasps. Her eyes are on you, watching you watch her.
Yujin gasps and her body shudders, her pace quickening, her fingers circling faster, rubbing frantically at her clit as she chases her orgasm. You know how close she is, and all you can do is watch her face as she gets closer and closer. Her body is shaking, trembling as the wave builds inside her. Her moans get louder, and more intense. Her fingers work harder, and you feel her tightening, the walls of her pussy squeezing down, and then she cries out, her head tipping back, her body arching, her chest pushing out as she rides the waves of her orgasm.
It's beautiful. The way her body reacts to it all, the way she looks when she comes undone. Yujin moans your name and it sends shivers up and down your spine. She looks ethereal like this. A deity to be admired. A queen on her throne.
She's beautiful. She's breathtaking. She's Yujin.
When the waves stop crashing, Yujin collapses onto you, her body limp and spent. The warmth of her body pressed against you feels like heaven and your cock is still inside her, pulsing, aching, begging for its own release.
"I don't know if I should let you cum," Yujin pants in a whisper, her face pressed against your shoulder, the hot breath on your skin sending shivers down your spine. "Could just leave you here like this. All hard and frustrated. Aching. You'd probably go home and get yourself off thinking about me."
She's right. Of course, she's right. You would.
"Or maybe you can show me just how much you appreciate me," she breathes, pushing herself up, hands on either side of your head. "Would you like that?"
"Anything," you tell her. Your hands twitch, desperate to reach up to her. "You know I would."
"I know." She smirks and sits up. Her hips lift until you feel your cock slipping out of her, her wetness dripping onto you. Yujin's fingers trace over the mess she's left, smearing it on her fingertips before bringing it to your lips. You know what she wants. She doesn't even need to ask.
Your mouth opens and she pushes her fingers between your parted lips, letting you lick them clean. You suck her fingers and her eyes watch you, a glint of something dangerous shining. She pulls them out slowly, dragging the tips over your bottom lip. "Good," Yujin breathes the word as she climbs off of you and turns around.
The curve of her ass is a beautiful thing to see. It's soft, smooth, plump. She catches a glance at you staring, a smirk tugging on her lips. She plants her hand against her ass (a harsh reminder that feeling it yourself requires her permission) and squeezes the flesh before letting out a laugh. It's all a game to her.
"You're going to show me, by cumming for me. Cumming on me." She settles back onto the floor, gracefully lying back into a pose. "You have two minutes. Two minutes to show me how much you love my body." She runs a hand from her chest all the way to her hips and you watch, entranced by every movement she makes. Yujin laughs again. "Well, what are you waiting for?"
The words kick you into action and you scramble to your knees and shuffle towards her. She laughs at the sweet, sweet honey sound that makes you melt. Your hand wraps around the base of your cock, the wetness from Yujin's pussy coating it, slick and smooth as you slowly stroke your length. You stare at her, watching the way her chest rises and falls with each breath, the way her fingers trace up and down the skin of her thigh, the way her tongue darts out to wet her lips.
It's intoxicating. You're drunk on Yujin, high off of her beauty, and you're addicted. There's no going back. You're hers, completely. Your fist tightens around your length and your strokes quicken. The feeling of it is so good and your cock is still throbbing from being trapped inside her. You can feel the lingering heat of her body on your skin. The scent of her, the taste, the sound. It's everywhere. Surrounding you. Enveloping you. Engulfing you. Consuming you.
"Two minutes," she hums the reminder, her fingers sliding between her thighs. Yujin's fingers slide over the panties she still wears. "Two minutes to make yourself cum for me. To make a mess of my body."
"Yujin," you whimper her name like it's a prayer. The sound of her voice, the sight of her body. The knowledge of what you've done, of what you've experienced. You've been inside her. You've had the taste of her on your tongue, the sound of her in your ears. Her pussy is still dripping and her thighs glistening. You're still so hard that you're aching, and all you can do is stroke yourself. All you can do is pump your hand and feel your fingers glide up and down your shaft.
Your eyes flicker from the smooth, warm, inviting skin of her chest to her pussy and back. You've tasted her. You've felt her. You've felt the way she grips and clenches, the way she feels. The sound of her when she cums.
"I don't know if you can do it. I don't know if you can cum." Yujin teases and she knows how to play you. "One minute."
"Yujin," you moan her name again and again as you feel it building. The pressure. The heat. Your cock twitches in your hand as you stroke. The sensation of the wet heat, the friction, the knowledge that Yujin is beneath you, but you're hers to command, to control. It's too much and it's everything. You feel it in your core, a twisting, coiling, winding tension that's threatening to snap.
"Do you want to cum on me?" Her voice breaks through the fog. "Do you want to mark my body with your cum? Make a mess of me?"
She throws her hands above her head, stretching out her body and presenting herself for your load. "Thirty seconds," Yujin warns, the hint of danger on the tip of her tongue.
"Yujin—" You can only whisper her name as you stroke. Hard and fast, gripping and twisting. You're so close. Right there, standing on the precipice.
"That's it. Be a good boy for me," she praises. "Show me how much you adore me."
"I—I—" Your words die in your throat, a gasping, breathless moan. You're cumming, the tension snaps and it's all too much. The pleasure rushes over you like a wave. You're drowning in it. You're suffocating. Your hips stutter, thrusting into your fist, pumping your length as you feel the hot spurts of your cum painting over Yujin's perfect, beautiful skin. The first spurt splashes across her breasts, the second spattering across her stomach and chest. Her laughter fills the room. She loves this, seeing the way she's ruined you.
Your body shakes, your hand slowing as the final drops fall from your cock to the expanse of Yujin's body. Your mind swims as you struggle to breathe. Your head spins and your vision is blurry. She's laughing, her fingers swiping through the cum, rubbing it into her skin. Her hands roam all over her body and you're entranced. Your body feels like jelly as you collapse, slumped onto your side on the floor beside her.
"Good boy," Yujin purrs, her hand sliding over her stomach and down between her legs, rubbing at her clit with your cum. She's smearing it everywhere, all over her pussy, her fingers slipping between her folds and then back to her clit. It runs over her chest, dripping down the side of her tit. Her breath hitches and you watch, mesmerised by her. "Such a good boy."
"Yujin," her name falls from your lips as if you've lost all other words, the way a prayer is uttered, reverently and devotedly. "I—"
She laughs again. It's light and playful. "I know. I'm the best, right? You're so lucky."
"Yes." It's the only thing you can think of to say. You are lucky. So unbelievably lucky.
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thekaratcake-blog · 10 hours ago
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Hey btw by trying to restrict abortion what you're actually doing is saything that the fetus has rights to the mothers body against her will
And to pretend like unprotected sex is the only way we get there is dumb as shit, do better
But most importantly, first you don't give a shit about actual life or suffering if you wish it on others for disagreeing with you
Second if we're talking about a fetus before a certain point, the best you're gonna get on feeling emotions is "said hormones can reach it" and regardless of all of this its still not worth the life of the mother and still shouldn't have rights that no other human has
No other human has rights to others body and organs against their will, why should a fetus?
Also you did you seriously just say an abortion is never nessecary to save a life? I'm sorry did you actually? Also you realize plan b pills are being considered abortion in the us?
Also did you just quote the famously unreliable ai overview? The same oen that said people should eat one small rock a day?
And finally, you saying someone is "letting the mask slip" was talking about someone who was talking about the reality of when something is an isn't a child
Then of course, you go and tell them to rot in hell and suffer forever and that their life is terrible
Oh and finally, by pro-lifer, you of course, mean anti-choice
After all, this isn't about life, it's why Texas tried to enforce the death penality for women who'd had abortions, it's why the cry now isn't "yay we saved babies" it's "your body, my choice"
What this is about is deciding whether a woman should get to decide who's allowed to forcefully use and ALWAYS damage her body, I want to make this clear
Pregnancy is ALWAYS at least somewhat damaging to the body of the mother, and I do mean always, some significantly more than others, some causing death that could only be avoided with the termination of the child, a child is only capable of any form of thought at 24 weeks according to all of our best science and doesn't qualify as human in the same way the mother does before that
You are misinformed, you are hateful, and you are awful, abortion should be legal, you don't get to decide what a woman does with her body
Oh and, gotta love you casually glossing over the existence of rape, or the idea that maybe someone won't know contraceptive failed immediately, or maybe someone actively wanted to have a child but it's now going to come with serious medical complications, which is according to WHO, actually 15% of cases lead to potentionally life threatening complications not the 2% you quoted, but no yeah
Let's force the mother to have a child, that if she's trying to get an abortion she probably can't care for, that might kill her, which might in turn kill the child, or leave one or both of them with seriuos health complications
Now of course lets let that mother struggle, after all, the most common reason for abortions is that they are unable to have a child as it would seriously derail their life and they likely can't care for it, but you're right, better than an unthinking fetus simply not getting past a certain stage, after all, they don't actually kill it, they just take away access from the mtoher's nutrients to a thing that before 24 weeks the generally agreed upon legal limit of abortion isn't capable of thought, but no better than that lets birth it into a world who isn't ready for it, to a mother who isn't ready for it, or who was raped, or who is a child, or who would die, or who would be seriously sick, or when the child would come out with serious damage or deformities that might cause it to die an agonizing death on the table
But no, let's instead wish suffering upon others who disagree with you because that's what being "pro life" is about, it's about telling those on the other side or who disagree with you that they are evil and deserve to die, it's about shooting up planned parenthoods or leaving pregnant women to die of sepsis on the operating bed as is happening a lot now in america
Nothing says "pro life" like "I hope your life is one of fucking //suffering//."
Also btw, I also survived rape and had I gotten pregnant I would've been ten years old, do you think I should've kept that child?
Luckily I am incapable of getting pregnant but some people aren't, do you think they should've kept that child?
Oh and two your final lil comment, I did live that sort of life, and guess what? I found joy, I found joy and a loving partner, I've dedicated my time to learning and caring and fighting for rights, and I've never told a stranger on the internet that I hope they suffer forever, because that's not a thing a good person who's donig mentally well and has genuinely found joy would do, that's a thing a deranged asshole would do
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read it and weep, idiots
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thoughtfulfiction · 2 days ago
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The Game Plan
Author’s note: Merry Christmas Bolt fam🩵Still working on rewrites but I needed to write something new to get inspired. I am done with school so I’ll hopefully be able to get fics out more often!
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Last time he was this nervous, he stood on shaky legs in front of a New York crowd accepting the William V. Campbell trophy. Public speaking wasn’t his favorite thing in the world and he hated talking about himself. But this was about a hundred times more important. And more nerve wracking.
When Justin suggested flying to your hometown to spend some time with your parents, you didn’t bat an eye. You’d been talking about making a trip back home after the season was over and were elated to discover that he was on the same page. Now that the time had come and you were looking at him as he drove the rental car to your family home, you couldn't help but think maybe he was regretting his decision. The man was constantly fidgeting in his seat, his grip on the steering wheel tight, eyes full of stress and semi concern.
"You okay?" You furrowed your eyebrows at him, urging your boyfriend to let you in on whatever was causing him such turmoil.
"What? Oh yeah no, I'm fine." He knew that sounded less than convincing. "It's just weird with the season being over. Almost like I have to learn how to relax again. This week will be good though."
Nodding in understanding, you place a hand on his leg hoping that the simple touch will ease his mind. Little did you know he was in the midst of a huge inner crisis. Justin rehearsed what he was going to say a few more times before pulling into your parent's driveway. Swallowing down his nerves, he grabbed your suitcase and his, walking toward the front door feeling like his legs weighed a ton each.
Your mom had already taken you away to the kitchen by the time he walked in, immediately lost in conversation about work and life while your dad grabbed one of the bags out of Justin's hands. The two men trudged up the stairs to drop off the bags, exchanging pleasantries and getting settled in before heading to the backyard to cook. Your dad loved Justin. He was the perfect partner for you, a perfect mix of fun/exciting and responsible/caring. He had seen you fall more and more in love with the quarterback over the years which made it easy to love him too. And getting to talk about football all day with someone who actually valued such intimate conversations about the sport helped.
All of the distracting small talk was out of the way, Justin had complimented your dad on his new grill and the improvements he'd made on the backyard and they had unpacked some of the nitty gritty details of the season and who your dad thought they should draft as perfect additions to the roster for the next season and the only thing that remained was the pit of nerves in his stomach that hadn't disappeared since boarding the plane.
"Something on your mind?" Your dad was observant, not really one to beat around the bush. He'd noticed a slight edge to Justin's voice since the two of you had arrived and was really trying to wait to give him some time. He'd obviously gotten too impatient. "You look like you've seen a ghost."
Justin's had relationships before. Not many times, but he's felt security and love in other people, seeing a future with them and thought about what the rest of his life would look like. Being with you was not only the most serious relationship he'd ever been in but he found himself constantly planning for the future and setting his family up for long-term success, a family that he now couldn't envision without you. He swallowed thickly, suddenly overcome with emotion at the words that he needed to express to your father. "There is something on my mind actually," he clears his throat, trying really hard to maintain eye contact and not look down at the grill. "I wanted to come here first thing to ask you for your permission."
"My...permission?"
"Your permission, your blessing. Either one. Or both." Your boyfriend rambles on nervously, the words tumbling out of his mouth completely out of order and unlike anything he’d just spent time practicing.
Your dad still looks at him, confused. Justin sighs, "I love your daughter more than anything in the world. She’s the greatest thing in my life and I never thought I’d have the opportunity to be with someone so special. Now that I’ve gotten to be with her I don’t ever want to let her go and...it's really important for me to ask you before I propose."
In that moment it all begins to click and your dad nods. Here was one of the most calm and collected quarterbacks in the NFL stumbling over his words out of nerves because he wanted to ask for permission before getting engaged. A man who's build could arguably be compared to ancient Greek deities was a mere mortal when it came to you and it took every ounce of your dad's strength not to crack a smile. "You came all this way to ask me if you can marry my daughter. So you could do this in person?" The younger man nods. "Before I answer, can you promise me one thing?"
"Anything." Justin says without hesitation. He didn't care what he had to do, he just knew he was going to do it no matter what it took.
Your dad looks toward the house, watching you and your mom laughing while getting the sides set on the table. He looks back at Justin, eyes brimming with tears. "She is my greatest treasure. Promise me you will treat her like nothing less than that."
"I will sir, you have my word."
Justin holds out a hand and your dad pulls him in for a hug. "Welcome to the family son," patting him on the back. The quarterback swore he heard a crack in the other man’s voice but said nothing.
You watched the exchange from the kitchen, slightly confused because your dad didn't exactly give out free hugs like they were Halloween candy. "What is happening out there?"
Your mom catches her husband's eye at the end of the hug, seeing him point at his ring finger and trying to contain her excitement. "I'm sure it's nothing," she smiles, handing you another plate to set on the table, "Justin probably asked him if he wants to golf tomorrow. You know he's been trying to get more into it and bringing an NFL quarterback in front of all of his friends is definitely going to boost his confidence." The two of you stood in silence for a bit until you seemed satisfied with that answer and the two men were back inside, immediately distracting you from asking any further questions as conversation flowed as the food and wine were consumed. Justin helped your mom wash the dishes that night, deep in some secret conversation filled with sporadic giggles and all you could think about was how lucky you were to find someone that fit in so seamlessly. Little did you know they were planning a surprise that you'd never forget.
Step one? Find the perfect ring.
"Isabella, I need a favor," Justin takes a seat at the counter next to his sister-in-law. "You need to distract y/n for a couple hours so I can go through her phone."
Placing her own phone down, she looks at him like he's grown another head. "Why in the hell would I do that? Why would YOU do that?” The more she talks the more visibly upset she looks and Justin is severely regretting not being more specific.
“It’s—it’s not what you think. I just—”
She holds up a finger to keep him from explaining himself any more. “I just want you to know that I’m never thought you’d be one of those people and it’s really disappointing.”
He sighs, looking around to make sure that you aren’t walking in any time soon. “I heard you guys talking last week. About how you had a bunch of videos in your Tik Tok likes that helped you plan your wedding. Then she mentioned that she’s been saving some rings that she thinks would look good on her and I need to see those. So I can design the best ring.”
The tension in her body is instantly released and her features are filled with relief. She holds a hand over her mouth to hide a happy squeal before taking a moment to compose herself so she doesn’t give anything away when she sees you. “You’re proposing,” she whispers leaning in close so no one else can hear.
He leans in too, a wide grin on his face. “I’m proposing.”
“I’ll keep her busy,” she promises, giving him a fist bump.
A girls only DIY spa night in gave him the perfect outlet to grabbing your phone. As soon as the cucumber slices were on your eyelids and Isabella gave him the sign, your cellphone was in his hand and he got to work. He screenshotted 13 different ring designs, jotting down some notes in his own phone, looking at various ring styles and the cut that would best match the style that you were looking for. Then he jotted down some local jewelers to visit and design the ring in person, going as far as flying your best friend to Oregon for a few days under false pretenses that she had a work trip in the area and decided to stay at the ranch since it was nicer than a hotel.
Approximately four weeks after his initial meeting with the jeweler, Justin held the velvet box in his hands and admired everyone’s hard work. He’d had a hand in designing every crevice of the ring that looked much smaller in between his fingers as he examined the diamond. Fresh nerves were beginning to set in as the moment became more and more tangible and real. Once he found a secure spot to hide the ring, he moved forward with the next part of his master plan.
Step two? Come up with proposal ideas.
The beautiful thing about the offseason was that you still had to work remotely, so you’d be in your office in one corner of the house and after his morning workout he had all the free time in the world. The bad thing about that was that he had all this free time to sit and think about how he was going to set up an unforgettable proposal. Luckily, some of his receivers had come down for a Nike promo event and to throw so he had people to bounce ideas off of.
“What about this? I take her to Sofi and propose in the middle of the stadium with just the two of us. We have the video board showing monumental moments of our relationship and as she’s watching I just get down on a knee.”
Ladd takes a sip of water, making eye contact with Derius, who says nothing. Justin continues pacing, taking the collective silence as a sign to suggest something else.
“Don’t everyone jump up at once,” he lets out a nervous laugh, wracking his brain. “Maybe I could drive us to Napa Valley with dinner and some music?” That suggestion earned more interaction, some guys nodded, recalling their own proposals and having him take some pointers from their experiences. There was a time where he couldn’t log onto Instagram without seeing one of his teammates getting engaged and the only thing that made him more nervous than proposing was the media circus that would result from the news getting out. Yes, he wanted it to be special and intimate but the thought of the social media team getting their hands on it and invading your privacy was a little scary. Somehow he had to push that thought out of his mind and tackle one problem at a time.
“Private beach proposal in Hawaii?”
Simi stands up at the suggestion, placing a hand on his friend’s shoulder. “Sounds beautiful in theory, but aren’t you scared of having the ring so close to the water?”
“Yeah what if you’re so nervous that you drop the box and it’s washed away by the tide,” Ladd notes. “The less distracting things around you the better. Helps you focus on just her.”
“I don’t think that’ll be a problem, he’s obsessed,” Patrick says, walking by just to chastise his brother. Justin flips him off without uttering a word, an unwavering focus on the task at hand.
Nothing seemed right, some ideas were too flashy, too cheesy. He wanted to show you how much you meant to him, how you’d changed his perspective on life and balancing work and your relationship. That it was possible to do both because the right person brings things out of you that you didn’t even know where there. How do you encompass all of those feelings into one perfect location?
“I’m not gonna lie,” Simi says, voice full of sincerity. “You gotta let the perfect time come to you, you’ll know when the time is right. Trust me.”
Justin had no other choice at this point. He spent the next few weeks holding onto the ring, desperately looking for the right time. Spending all this time stressing and planning and plotting had really taken him away from you. There was an unspoken distance between the two of you and it had become increasingly upsetting. Even when you were in the same room it felt like he was miles away, stuck in his own head, shutting you out completely. You were starting to think that he was looking for a way out and couldn’t decide on a way to let you down easy. The thought of him tip toeing around a breakup made you nauseous.
“Why haven’t you done it yet? You can’t keep putting this off forever,” you heard Mitch say one morning after you came home earlier than expected from an in-person work meeting. Usually you wouldn’t eavesdrop, but Justin’s behavior hadn’t exactly given you a vote of confidence in the state of your relationship. You couldn’t even really remember the last time you went on a date without him looking like he was seconds away from getting sick.
Justin on the other hand had spent every dinner date thinking about whether or not this was the moment. Walking around with the ring in his pocket everywhere he went just in case, deathly afraid of you finding it on accident. That thought alone, of him walking in the house to you holding that ring box not only made him want to cry a little at the ruined surprise but also make him feel like throwing up. And he was tired of hearing everyone and their mom ask him when he was going to pull the trigger and propose.
Especially when he felt like it was happening every single day.
“I’m not putting it off! I just—this is harder than I thought. It’s not just something to check off the to-do list. I gotta do it right or I’m not doing it at all.”
He felt so bad about dumping you that he was putting it off…so he could do it the right way? What even is the right way to end a relationship? You didn’t want to stick around to find out, making your way back outside to sit in your car and think about your next move.
“Justin is planning on dumping me.” You sighed into the phone, calling your best friend.
“What? Where did you get that from?”
You spent the next 20 minutes explaining to her all the signs. His weird behavior, always on his phone but will never let you see what he’s doing or who he’s talking to. You feel like he’s hiding something but he makes sure to only give you minor details saying he’s planning a trip with the guys or talking to his agent about taking on different endorsements. It all just seems too fishy. Why is he torturing you like this by stringing you along? Should you just break up with him first?
“You have to act normal like you don’t suspect anything,” you hear at the other end of the line. Her voice is calm and reassuring which is nice because the last thing you needed to hear was that she didn’t believe you. “If he’s breaking up with you then let him explain him himself. Justin has never been someone to do things without a purpose and you know he’d never do anything knowing that it would hurt you.”
She had a point. “Fine. You’re right, I’ll hear him out and figure it out after I gather all the information. Thank you for talking me off the ledge.”
“You’re welcome.” As soon as you hung up the phone, your friend texted Justin that he should start acting a bit more casual because you were freaking out.
The next evening, he surprised you with a bonfire movie night.
“What’s all this?”
Justin pats the spot on the outdoor couch next to him, welcoming you to take a seat. “An apology? I’m sorry I’ve been off lately. There’s been a lot on my mind and I got so lost in my head that I’ve been neglecting you but that stops today. It had nothing to do with how I feel about you at all, you’re not getting rid of me that easily.”
“Care to share with the class what was bothering you for so long?”
You cuddle into his side, a sense of comfort immediately taking over the constant state of unease that previously surrounded you. Looking up at him, he places a gentle kiss on your lips, so soft it leaves you wanting more. “It doesn’t matter now, all that I care about,” he sneaks another kiss, “is being right here with you.”
“Well in that case,” you whisper, “we should make s’mores.”
Justin laughs, kissing you on the cheek and rising to his feet, helping you up before heading into the kitchen. The tray on the counter was loaded with various snack items, Reese’s cups, pretzels and strawberries along with normal s’more ingredients. As you made your way back to the bonfire and began to dig in, a thought popped into your mind while enjoying the stillness.
“We can’t do things like this in LA. You can’t beat the scenery out there and the background noise of the traffic isn’t exactly the most romantic.”
He looks up at the sky full of stars, remembering exactly why he bought land out here in the first place. “I’ve always thought about raising our future kids here. Los Angeles is where I work but this is home, they can grow up and be normal kids here. Play outside, go fishing, experience a childhood that has lasting memories. Not sitting in traffic for hours and never seeing a real tree.”
“Our kids?”
“Yeah,” he says without hesitation. “I think about Coach getting our son his first pair of khakis.”
You laugh, picturing it in your head, “and he’d probably get our daughter a custom pair of cleats to wear pregame.”
“Exactly,” he throws his head back to laugh at the image of mini versions of you and him being spoiled by his head coach. He grabs another strawberry, dipping it in the melted chocolate and feeding it to you. “How many kids do you want?”
“Let’s say it at the same time.”
He counts down from five, saying “three” at the same time you do.
Looking at each other in shock, you burst into laughter at the fact that you have identical answers despite the fact that you’d never openly spoken about it. You each knew the other wanted children but just didn’t know exactly how many. Justin felt like his heart might burst with an uncomfortable and overwhelming amount of happiness. If it wasn’t clear then, it is now.
There, in that moment, nothing seemed more perfect. He looked down at your hands, spotting the manicure you’d gotten last week before attending a wedding. Simi’s words came flooding back, you’ll know when the time is right.
And that time was right now.
“I’m gonna head inside and grab another water, do you want anything?”
“I think I’m okay. Thank you though,” you barely acknowledged the exchange, wrapped up in finding the perfect movie to watch as you scrolled through all the streaming services. Today, the most simply normal day was about to be extraordinary and his feet couldn’t carry him inside fast enough to grab the ring.
His heart was beating in his ears walking back outside. He clears his throat to get your attention and the look on his face makes you stand. “What happened?”
“I spent so long trying to create the perfect moment. But I just realized that every moment with you is perfect.”
Your voice catches in your throat and you’re forced to speak in a hushed tone. “What are you doing?”
He takes a deep breath, holding the box firmly in his hand. “I love you. You’re the one I want to build a home with, create a family with, grow old with and everything in between that this life has to offer. I’m sorry it took me so long, that I spent so much time trying to capture some picturesque scene that we’ll remember forever. You and I, right here is memorable. Being with you is all I’ve ever need, all I’ll ever need. For the rest of my life.” He opens the box and you audibly gasp, everything in your body tingling and buzzing with excitement. Everything made sense now, his nerves, the secrecy…everything. He was trying to make all of your dreams come true.
Holding your hand in one and the box in the other, he gets down on one knee. “Will you make me the happiest man in the world, will you marry me?”
“Yes,” you respond immediately, sounding out of breath while wiping a tear from your eye. “A thousand times yes, of course I’ll marry you!” Sliding the ring that fits exactly like it was tailored to your finger, he stands up and wraps his arms around you, a small tear escaping him.
Justin kisses you, a passionate deep kiss, relieved that everything had gone even better than he’d imagined, pulling you in so close that you can feel his steady heartbeat. His movements were long and slow, a slight grin against your lips as you give into belonging to each other. Lost in paradise he leaned his forehead against yours, both of your eyes still closed in awe that this actually just happened.
“Here’s to a lifetime of perfect moments and sometimes the best plan is no plan. I love you Justin, this is amazing I couldn’t ask for anything more incredible.” You pulled away, opening your eyes to look at your hand. “And this ring? You’re crazy.”
“I am crazy. Crazy about you,” he kisses you on the forehead, running his hand across your fingers. “I love you so much, fiancée.”
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sobbingscripter · 2 days ago
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DAY 11: Eleven Pipers Piping
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☃️A Star Is Born☃️
Tags: [mlw][mdni][analingus][ass play][oral (f receiving)][friends to lovers]
❄️☃️❄️
"You know, I always thought 'A Star is Born' was about the birthing of Christ."
Your voice breaks the quiet peace between the two of you, snow falling just outside your apartment window and the low hum of the space heater is the only sound other than the faint sound of Christmas carols playing from the apartment next door.
It's quiet other than that. The soft symphony of your quiet breaths taken in tandem as you rest beside him, backs against the sofa and your eyes absentmindedly watching one of those generic Christmas movies.
A woman travels to a new city, uptight and whatnot, meets a carefree guy who teaches her how to love.
But that peaceful reverie is broken when you speak.
The laughter tumbles from Jason's lips like a waterfall, piggy snorts and wheezes slipping out in the same breath, a delightful cadence and you watch as the dimples in his cheeks deepen and the corners of his eyes crease. He's still got a few bruises on him, a plaster over his nose and a cut on his eyebrow and his bottom lip.
"How the fuck did you—" He can barely speak before he snorts with laughter, watching as you shift in your position, visibly getting ready to defend yourself.
"Because like... The title sounds... Biblical, you know?" You answer and Jason shakes his head, that snowy streak in his hair a complete contrast to the inkiness of his hair, undertoned by a faint red.
"No, no I do not know." He snickers.
"Like... You know how the wise men followed the star? And the star seemed to like... Appear out of nowhere, or at least, it wasn't as bright? And like, I was like, 'oh, the star that the wise men followed to get to like, the miracle baby'."
Jason stares at you, a dark brow raised and arched as he listens to you ramble, motioning with your hands. Manicured fingers, that enunciate each of your points and those rosy lips, forming words that he has no intention of storing in the 1 megabyte memory card that is his brain.
"Jason." You snap your fingers in front of his face. "Are you even listening to me?"
"No I'm not." He hums. "You know, when you talk and laugh a lot, your eyes crease in the corners?"
Jason leans forward. "It's really sexy."
"...fuck—..shit.. don't stop..."
You feel like the bottom of the barrel. Allowing yourself to be bent over your coffee table, just because someone said your smile lines were sexy.
But you don't dwell too much on it because Jason's nose is nuzzling against your slick entrance as his tongue circles your clit. His strong, scarred hands spread your ass cheeks apart, and he spits down the cleft, watching the way your puckered hole spasms at the unusual sensation.
And Jason groans, pressing a thumb against the hole and slowly tracing it, just as he sucks your clit into his mouth, soft, pursed lips pressing adoring kisses to your needy pussy.
"Fuck, you taste so good."
Jason breathes out, long lashes fluttering as he continues to tease your ass, feeling the slow pulses and he groans, tongue diving between your slippery folds.
It's stupidly good, and you can barely focus on the drool that drips down your plump bottom lip in a thin glob, your mind too fucked out to realise it.
You're pushing yourself against Jason's face, your back arched and your hips wriggling because you just need something to soothe that little burning feeling in your gut. Something to fill up your empty cunt, that seems to ooze with slick, clenching around nothing.
Jason shifts, kicking your legs further apart and slowly, you feel your hole welcome something so.... Warm. And wet. And slippery.
Jason fucks you with his tongue, skilled fingers teasing your asshole while the other hand flicks across your clit, and he groans as you spasm on his tongue, slick sputtering out of you as he keeps tonguefucking you through your orgasm.
When Jason's tongue curls against your perineum, dragging the wet muscle slowly along your fluttering hole, you gasp. Nails digging into the sofa and your cheek pressed against the backrest and he hums, a laugh slipping past his lips.
"Maybe we should switch positions."
Jason mutters almost thoughtfully, broad hands massaging the globes of your ass, the fat of your hips and your thighs. And he presses a kiss to the small of your back.
His hands are rough but they're so gentle against your hands, as he guides you carefully, your knees pressing against the cushion of the sofa.
"Come on, pretty," Jason hums quietly, resting back on the other sofa, his broad body dwarfing the furniture.
"Pop a squat on Daddy's face."
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psychemochanight · 1 day ago
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Honestly, even if I love the new interpretation of Dick as the "angry Robin" that we have these days, sometimes it feels bad that you can't talk about a version of Dick as Robin that isn't like that without getting people saying things like "that's not Dick, he's the angry one, the bloodthirsty one" and... What?
It takes away a lot of depth from the character when people only think of that when talking about Robin!Dick, when, since always, Dick was, quite possibly, one of the best written characters, and one of those that has more nuances to make him a completely human character, not only in the sense of not having superpowers, but of being able to empathize with him.
There are many versions of the story, but the most widely accepted version is that Dick lost his parents at the age of eight, watching them fall because they sabotaged their act, an act Dick probably saw many times, one he knew for sure his parents would never fail... Until it failed, and through no fault of their own.
Dick was a little boy who grew up in a loving family (as far as we know, I still think they were strict, but not necessarily bad parents... We'll talk about the Court of Owls later), and from one second to the next, all of that ended. Even if Bruce was there for him, things obviously weren't the same anymore, they never would be again.
Although many have the idea that Dick escaped from youth center to kill Zucco, in the original stories Dick didn't even know yet about him, at least not that much to know what he really did; but he wanted to escape from juvenile so as not to lose his values, so as not to stop being who he is, who his parents taught him to be.
Even in the lines where he DOES say he wants to kill Zucco, in most cases, when push comes to shove, he wants to prevent Zucco's death. There are some moments where he even confesses that he didn't want Zucco to die, he just wanted justice for his parents.
People now see Dick as the Robin who only saw misfortune and was an absolute menace to society, and while, yes, Dick was an absolute menace, it was only to the villains, who heard a little boy laughing at them before beating the shit out of them. Plus, even as a child he was a master manipulator, both for enemies and allies.
But what about the rest? Robin was supposed to be the light where Batman was the darkness. He was the one who comforted scared civilians when Batman couldn't. He was the sensitivity that Batman cannot afford to show.
Dick Grayson was the one who saved Batman from losing himself in the same darkness that he himself was making his only way of life, and this is something that Alfred has pointed out before. It is thanks to Dick that Batman stopped being the ruthless "hero" he was becoming. Damn, he was the one who softened Alfred's heart in the first place too.
This was the Robin that Superman saw as worthy of carrying the mantle of Nightwing, whom he saw as someone who could represent hope itself.
Bruce didn't start smiling just because of the other Robins like many people now believe, no. Dick was the first to make him smile again, the one who opened the doors for the others.
Dick was always kind and tender-hearted, always joy where there was only devastation.
Even if he was the living nightmare of villains, he was still that cheerful child who wanted to avoid the pain of others. The boy who inspired other heroes, not only because of his skills, but because of his heart.
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Dick is a character who, while he is now more recognized as Nightwing than as Robin (which doesn't bother me at all, because that was always his goal when he became an independent hero), he still has a history that people seem to increasingly forget about and pigeonhole his development into something... Flat.
Were there times when Dick had more anger and pain than any other feeling in him? Yes, absolutely YES. But this stage is mostly in his Discowing years, not of Robin as such (I'm not saying there weren't such moments, but there aren't as many as people describe now), or as some animated series showed (I love these series, even if they turned Dick into a feral child who is unable to smile, lol)
Again. I LOVE Dick's portrayal as a feral child and absolute menace to society (which he was), but I also LOVE when artists, writers, and the entire fandom itself appreciates the different nuances of his personality, from his ability to laugh despite the misfortunes in his life, to his sadness that never ceased to be a part of him, until the moments where he could only feel rage and pain and felt that the world was only darkness, unable to see the colors that emerged from the light he projected by himself.
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Look at him, he's so cute <3
Does anyone care about this yap? No, but I wanted to let out what I've been repeating in my head for days because people on tiktok have me fed up HAHA
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thatfrailsoul · 1 day ago
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– Make me feel like someone else
tarot pick a pile reading
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pictures from pinterest → one, two, three
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There are people that we just can’t resist. A smile that is impossible to not be contaged by. A voice that is so difficult to not trust. A silhouette that we follow without even realising how easily they are taking us away from the old ways, making us see this world under such a different light… A charming person, a magnetic aura… Could it really be only a spell that makes us blind to something deeply important, something that we should be aware of but that we just can’t grasp? Is it really everything so good and easy, for once, or are we trapped in an illusion that will only hurt us...?
In a romantic, or an equally inspiring friendship, there is someone that you need to know about...
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This is our fifth reading from the Divinatory Jukebox. A message that comes to us through the song “Hypnotic” by Zella Day. A faithful messenger of the universe, who waited patiently for us to hear it, to listen to what it has to say.
Although from the emotions and energy of this song I expected something much darker, heavier, even more dangerous... Now I understand that perhaps this is just the way we feel it, when we are so captivated by someone, when we want to be and are so vulnerable in front of them, giving out our heart but at the same time deep down being afraid of them tearing it apart.
Slow down for a moment. Give your conscious mind a moment of rest, allow it to step back. Instead, listen to your subconscious one, to that inner voice, to the intuition that is guiding you to the pile in which your message hides.
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P.s. a little question for you ♡:
As I'm trying to improve the experience of the extended versions of our readings, it would be deeply helpful for me to know your opinion. Especially about what you would love to find in them. Just whatever is needed or that might be helpful for you to hear based on the reading and the original message you received? A more practical advice on how to handle your current situation? Perhaps a little glimpse into the future and what it holds for you, what you can expect or need to keep in mind for when you’ll live that outcome? Or, even better, all of these combined?
{ Thank you so much for letting me know!♡ }
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– Pile One,
the ten of coins, the stars, the moon
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After fighting with all you had, after finally escaping the chains of a connection so powerful that it convinced you to stab yourself, again and again, just for them… You really did hope that it would never happen again. That there won’t ever be someone that has so much control over you, over your heart that gives it all to the ones it loves. You hoped that you learned from your mistakes, that your scars are enough for you as a reminder, as help in being aware of all the lies and manipulations of those that try to come closer to your heart.
And yet you still felt it, you still found it, after all this time and even though you are with a different person now. That urge to be by their side, to fall for them, trusting completely that they will catch you, holding you tight in their arms, giving you a sense of protection, and at the same time a dangerous vulnerability when you are with them…
But even if you feel the need to do it, to feel it, you are resisting it. The fear, the anxiety, the doubts are overwhelming you, as you recognise in them and each their gesture, someone that you thought you’d never see again. Not in a different person, in a different connection, that you had so much hope for, but which is feeling too similar to how it used to back then...
So you are making steps back, trying to buy more time, to understand how it could happen that after all of that you still did make the same mistake. A mistake that you can't even bring yourself to regret, not when you look into their eyes…
How is it possible really? Are you so weak, so stupid to put yourself at risk again and again, breaking your promises to your own self? Or are they so powerful, so many steps ahead, enough to be able to put you under a cage that you didn't even notice, not giving you any chance to escape?
It is pulling you to them, whatever it is, calling you, overwhelming you through every single thing that reminds you of that other person, no matter how far they are. They are calling you, and you make steps forward. Just to push yourself right back when for a moment you are able to wake up. To doubt yourself, what you feel and think, to ask if this is even real.
But slow down for a moment. Breathe. Reflect. What is it, that in this new person, reminds you so much of the one that you swore to never let again in? Because it is just the way you feel with them, isn’t it? That sense of safety, of surrender to everything that could happen out there in this world, just because you are with them? Is it that admiration, pure inspiration and motivation that you feel when you look at them, at their way of living this life, creating with it their adventures and stories that they desire? Is it that hope for more time with them, to get to know them better, to learn from them or with them. To have them by your side as you face the struggles or challenges of your journeys, because you truly feel like they would be able and willing to help? Is it the way you feel so close to them in so little time, almost like you always knew and looked for each other, in one way or another? Is it just this… and how it is similar to what you felt with that other person, just before they took advantage of it?
Because you do love it, the way they make you feel. Those emotions that you thought you would never experience again. But at the same time, now that they are here, you can't help but reconnect them to the person that betrayed you by using them against you.
But… Are you so sure that it will be the same with them? That these emotions and way of feeling can be only a sign of a danger in disguise? Or is it only a fear, a supposition, based on what happened in the past, and that has nothing to confirm it in the now? Because you are opening up your old wounds, you are doing it on your own now. Just because of the profound vulnerability, and even scarier desire to be this way in front of them, that just surprises you in how it came back so easily, disregarding all your hard work to learn to protect yourself…
But it is not a mistake, a delusion of your heart, its way of never learning and being so easily infatuated and influenced by gentle ways… Your heart, your mind, you are not so stupid. You wouldn’t ever hurt yourself this way. But you are doing it now, in a different one. By letting what happened, and that person, still be present in your life. By letting their phantom wander around in your reality, your situations, standing behind those that you are looking at… And scaring you, putting you in guard just because of their presence and their memory at the back of your mind.
You did learn. You did become more careful with those that you allow to get closer to you, to be part of your life. You are protecting yourself, at every step. You are paying attention to the ways of others. And you are not letting anything or anyone play with you again. This, what you feel for this person now… Are just feelings, genuine, true, normal. They are not strange or worrying just because they seem to become deeper so quickly. Or just because, miraculously, they are reciprocated now.
It is good and it is true. There is no need to doubt it only because of how rare it is, and how ironically you already felt it once because of someone who treated your heart wrongly. That person was mean, manipulative, was hurtful… But does this new person have any fault of it, of the fact that they make you naturally and genuinely feel what the other needed to force and orchestrate?
Slow down. Breathe in. Look closely at them, pay attention to where they end and where that ghost of the past begins. Look at what you are creating with this new person. At how those bad and difficult things that you are afraid of and expect are nowhere to be seen. And focus on what is here, them, your moments. Rather than on the memories of someone who is long gone. The one that you already freed yourself from.
P.s. With each new year there is a decision that we need to make… what to bring with us, what to hope for, and what to leave behind. But it is not so easy, isn’t it? Some endings, no matter how obvious, are still so difficult to accept and to let go of, just because of how much they mean to us. But this year you can simply ask about it, if there is a chance for a new beginning or if there is only an end, so you can stop yourself from making the same dangerous mistakes.♡↓
{ Find out your answer here ~ }
{ ♡ }
– Pile Two,
the knight of cups, the emperor, the eight of wands
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You give them so much credit… You think they really have all that power over you. Just because of how strange and new all these feelings are. How scarily natural, how overwhelmingly good it is to be by their side and connect with them, heart to heart.
But it is much simpler than just careful and complicated games of manipulation or disguise that your anxious mind comes up with.
It is just you. It is just them. The way you are so similar, yet different enough to teach each other so much. The way you speak different languages, but with such similar tone and rhythm that makes it possible for you to understand each other fully, even more than those that knew you for so long. The way there is in each of you that something that is needed for the other. That light and darkness. That calm and enthusiasm. That logic and emotions. The water and fire. The air and earth. Two half that fit so perfectly, creating something beautiful, something true, something whole.
It is just you both that felt instantly so comfortable, so safe, so curious about a life passed side by side, all the moments that you could create together, and those that perhaps you could've shared if you met sooner, changing completely your past. It is that genuine enthusiasm and joy that makes you go faster, connecting easier than with anyone else. Allowing you to create a bond deeper than what you could expect.
There is no trick, no spell, no hidden motive. Just a finally good and honest connection that your broken hearts needed so much.
There is just surprise and unpreparedness to feel so much and so fast. Especially when you are used to struggle just to get truly closer to someone who is already by your side.
There is no need to be afraid, to already prepare yourself for the worst just because this is too good to be true, to be so easy and fun. There is no need to consider to run away, to distance them, just because of the doubt in your mind… You can just slow down. On your own. Ask them to do things one step at a time. So you can get used to it more easily, to be treated better, to trust fully the promises that someone gives to your heart.
There won't be any anger or misunderstanding. There won’t be any judgement in discovering that you are just not used to so much lightness in your heart and mind. It will only make you more precious for them, more deserving of their affection and parts of them that they will share only with you, who they will fully believe and trust.
P.s. With each new year there is a decision that we need to make… what to bring with us, what to hope for, and what to leave behind. But it is not so easy, isn’t it? Some endings, no matter how obvious, are still so difficult to accept and to let go of, just because of how much they mean to us. But this year you can simply ask about it, if there is a chance for a new beginning or if there is only an end, so you can stop yourself from making the same dangerous mistakes.♡↓
{ Find out your answer here ~ }
{ ♡ }
– Pile Three,
the three of coins, the emperor, the page of swords
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Is it really only them, who pulls you in so tenderly? Who so knowingly walks around your walls and finds every fragile part, using them to get closer? Or are you doing exactly the same, playing their games, imitating their ways, simply because it is so captivating and fun?
You have so many things in common. Even just the way you love and need to feel that rush, to feel the excitement and the thrill of getting to know each other, of provoking one another, subtly, jokingly. Never saying something openly, but understanding so much, reading through the lines.
But things are starting to change, to feel different, now that some time has passed and playing the same games as when you first met… It just feels kind of strange, and even tiring at times. This is not something that only you noticed and felt, that shift and the energy of both of you that just seems to be consumed uselessly with all of this. How the time seems to be wasted, and you both can’t help but think of how different those moments could've been if only you were finally fully open to each other. With your thoughts expressed clearly. Parts of you and of your life shared without needing to necessarily win them, be worthy of them…
And it is okay, this feeling and change is normal. There is nothing strange in being attracted to a different energy and dynamic at the start of a connection, compared to when some time has passed and you just want to be by their side, experiencing this life together, and not only playing with each other occasionally.
So don’t let those doubts and fears, that you or them will get bored if you stop to “spicing” things up, come any closer. Nothing will happen if, for a moment, you just relax and become less calculated in the ways you interact. Simply because this connection didn't start because of those games, of those flirtatious or joking ways. It started because your paths crossed each other, thanks to this life that saw how much your souls were aligned. It started because it was supposed to. And it would've happened even if you didn't do so much to win each other over, convincing the other person to choose you, to give you that chance.
It will not go away. Nor them nor you will do it, if something in your dynamic changes. Because change is not something to be afraid of. It is just a sign of your growth and evolution of this connection, of your feelings for eachother that make you a safe and comfortable person for one another, no matter the label of the relationship or your ways.
Don’t be afraid to let your grip on them go a little. Don’t be afraid to not always maintain the same entertaining energy. You don’t need to convince them, appeal to them, or prove yourself and your worth to them. They already are aware of all of it, they already chose to stay by your side, nourishing this bond, exactly like you did. It is not the start of the connection anymore. So you both are allowed to go a little slower, be more neutral or even boring. Some moments are indeed supposed to be more calmer and less adventurous than how it was at the very start. It is still fine. Everything is still okay. And it will continue to be so, no matter how many months or years will pass by. A time in which this connection will simply and only evolve and adapt to the phases of your lives many more times.
P.s. With each new year there is a decision that we need to make… what to bring with us, what to hope for, and what to leave behind. But it is not so easy, isn’t it? Some endings, no matter how obvious, are still so difficult to accept and to let go of, just because of how much they mean to us. But this year you can simply ask about it, if there is a chance for a new beginning or if there is only an end, so you can stop yourself from making the same dangerous mistakes.♡↓
{ Find out your answer here ♡ }
{ ♡ }
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nauticaltrain · 14 hours ago
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is the way you interpret the stex characters, are they robots or a mix? since they don't feel pain, but bleed oil etc. what is the lore? are they built at a young age or are they built into adults? (p.s your art is delicious too look at !!)
ohohoho boy, the lore i have for you, strap in
(brief note, this is all my personal interpretation and is definitely not the word of god lol. I genuinely love every interpretation and believe that headcanon variety is vital to a healthy fandom ecosystem)
So, this is something I have thought a lot about and still continue to think about. I'm pretty sure I've nailed it down but it might still be a little nebulous so bear with me.
In the most basic sense, my interpretation of Starlight Express, and all of its characters, is that they are real world pieces of rolling stock that have the ability to shift between a train form (primary configuration) and a human form (secondary configuration). Not an uncommon idea in this fanbase.
However, I'm an overthinking bitch, and I love going in-depth on things like this, so let's expand a little.
There are three main phrases that I use to define my interpretation (headcanon? au? lore?) and to keep myself on track when developing ideas. Sort of layers, if you will. They are as follows:
Fabricated manifestation of psyche - This is rolling stock's appearance in secondary configuration, or what we see in the musical. Their human bodies are a cosmetic representation of their will. A psychological trick. It reflects their personalities, their jobs, their mental age, the demographics of the region they serve. There about a million different factors that go into how they look, and like us, they can't control it. (well, except for CB, but he's another story) It's important to note that this is a manifestation. They are not Transformers. Secondary configuration is not 1:1. There are certain things that get muddled in the changeover. Wheel arrangements being different, missing certain parts, changed color palettes. You could open one up and see parts but not in any sort of similar arrangement to their blueprints. I mean, who can honestly picture every single part of their body in perfect detail and then reinterpret it into a new shape? (this is in part my answer to discrepancies between the real costumes and my lore shh shh)
Counterfeit reflection of humanity - This is their minds. They are our copies. They experience everything we do. They work, play, socialize, fight, fall in love. You could talk to a piece of rolling stock and have a fully human conversation. They are people. However, the longer your conversation goes on for, you may notice certain...oddities. Gaps in their knowledge, speaking in rhythmic sentences, constant repetitive movement. Someone copied humans and didn't do the most perfect job. Like looking at human culture through a lens. Many a train has pondered the simultaneous existence of being machine and being alive.
Physical incarnation of industrialism - Now this, is the origin of all of this. The humans did not create trains to be the way they are. Every piece of rolling stock is designed as they would be in the real world: vehicles to transport people and goods from one place to the next. No one designed Greaseball's slicked back hair or big, studded belt, they designed an EMD E7 built for pulling fast passenger trains. My point is, at the advent of industrialism as we know it, the trains manifested their secondary configurations themselves. They are the offspring of humanity, sired by ingenuity and innovation and birthed from the overturned earth of the Industrial Revolution. No one knows how or why, they just are.
So, in summary, they're sort of robots? Sort of a power of the mind situation? Sort of my own self-reflection on the nature of being alive?
Bonus facts!
Indeed, they do not feel pain. In fact, much of their sense of touch in general is limited. It ranges from same sensitivity as human flesh (hands, face, wheels) to just registers contact (shoulder boxes, hip plating, couplers). I have a diagram of the exact distribution somewhere lol
They bleed? Kind of? If parts are pulled off or damaged, they sort of…leak. Also, if their fleshy bits are "injured", the wounds only heal when the actual machinery is repaired. Also also, if you remove a human part (arm, leg, head, etc.) it will turn back into a train part!
Their temperature resistance is notable too. Comfortable is between -10 F to well over 500 F. Anything above or below that, and they start to complain. Wooden rolling stock have a harder time than steel ones.
They're afraid of deep water and tornados.
In addition to their nails being painted in relevant colors (which I believe is a semi-popular headcanon already), their mouths are the same. Some more unnatural colors include, black, yellow, and blue!
Tall! Generally between 12 and 17 feet. Loosely correlates to their height in primary configuration. Some are the same height, some are taller, some are shorter. Really depends on personality. I contemplated once to have their heights be the length of their primary configurations, but that would result in some pretty awkward height differences and they would be too big for their loading gauge.
They always manifest as adults, or at the very least, late teenagers. They kind of age? Sometimes? Momma started out a bit middle aged, but Rusty has spent like 50+ years looking 25. Really depends on the person, workload, environment, etc.
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just-zy · 15 hours ago
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Some life she hoped
pairing: Jenna Ortega x Fem Reader!
summary: Meeting again after so long wasn't really on your bucket list, neither did you receiving an apology.
A/N: Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! I apologize for the inactivity, I've been losing motivation on writing lately and ik this doesn't make up for it but I hope it does something to you 😞, the imagines are rotting in my drafts. Anyways, cheers to another year!
Warnings!: kind of angsty, mostly.. but that's about it!
Masterlist
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There was always this nagging feeling keeping me from loving again, these past months I've been feeling nothing but grief. What once was love I couldn't stop giving, turned into something I threw all away after finally leaving my first love.
A year passed by and still, I would look for her at places I hoped she'd be in, for a mere coincidence I might get a glimpse of her, somehow, some way I wish I did. But then, I met Naveen, in a way our love felt so different. She wanted me to be hers, I gave her a chance, more than a few. It all felt like it wouldn't work out, but this last chance I gave her, I held on for dear life for it to actually be true. But it all felt like I was toying with myself more than I do her.
So I let her go, not for me, but for Naveen to find someone more worthy of her love.
.
A place I didn't hope to see her, but there she was, looking flawless as ever. How she looked under the night's gaze, and the stars reflecting on her eyes.
"Y/N?"
Jenna.
"What are you doing here?"
The same reason why you're here.
"Why can't I be? Better yet, what are you doing here?" I chuckled lightly while I felt my heart ache in a bittersweet dream.
She huffs, "I don't know, I just had the idea to... chill here for a bit and dip."
This place, a view of the beach while we're up on a hill with a singular bench. This was where we used to hide away from everyone, from the cruel world.
I quietly made my way towards her, "Mind if I?", she scoots a little further, I sat down with my hands on my pockets.
Winter was our favourite season, we loved watching the beach while listening to the waves and spouting out nonsense. A part of me hoped we didn't end the way we did, I had so much more to tell her that I can't speak about now.
"How are you?" She quips while still having her sight on the beach. I blew out the breath I didn't know I was holding. "I'm good, all's well. How about you?"
"He broke up with me."
He was no good for you anyways.
"How are you holding up?" I cautiously asked while I started rubbing my hands together, it was getting too cold. "I realized, I really needed this, even when we were together it all just felt too suffocating. I didn't need him anyway."
Then why did you disregard me for him just like that?
I hummed with a disdain. But she doesn't need to know that.
"That's good, knowing you're finally... freeing yourself—"
"I'm sorry, Y/N."
I—
"I know what I did to you was wrong, so wrong but I still did it anyway. I wasn't the perfect girlfriend for you, and I know you knew that too."
But, I needed you the most. I wish you at least had the time to think about me, about us. The moment you let go of me, a piece of my heart shattered with you.
"You know, I really meant when I said I hoped we were together in another life. I wish I was better for you there, when then wasn't enough, I hope it's more than enough all the way on a multiverse."
...
I walked mindlessly in the library my friend worked in, I heard footsteps making it's way to my direction, I glance to my right, getting a good look at River, "Did you know? NASA actually finds out that there's more than just one world? I mean- there's this multiverse that's living like us but, in reverse, do you get it?" She looked really excited to share the story with me, and of course it caught my attention.
I chuckled at the thought, walking back to Jenna's place. I walked up to her door and gently knocked. With a click and a swift open of the door, there Jenna stood on her pajamas.
"I have a fact you might like to know."
She giggles at the story I had just told her, "Well if that were true, I hope we lived together in a mansion with millions of animals."
...
"Y- Yeah.."
Tucking my hair, my breathing went rigid as it suddenly felt too hot for me to think. I got up, bidding Jenna a good night's rest.
"Y/N– I... I hope you're doing okay."
I didn't dare spare her another glance. I knew I had moved on from her, but why is it that whenever I think about her, it all feels so heavy?
If I hadn't met you, I probably would have had more love to give.
A/N: this was shit but okay ig, I hope y'all enjoyed this more than I did. I did this in one sitting, so ik it's bad.
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zeestarfishalien · 17 hours ago
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My Graveyard Song
Chapter 15
[Hey...it's me. I'm not dead! *shows up 8+ months late with coffee from the local stand that runs off of caffeine and chaos* I am chronically slow and no im afraid it probably will not get better. We are getting closer to the end of the story. Love y'all!]
Jason takes care of the bill while Cass let's Barbara know they'll be heading her way. Danny fidgets, food forgotten in his anxiety.
He's kicking himself for not remembering about Jazz. Someone clearly important to Danny and in some sort of trouble the last time that Danny saw her. He doesn't let it slow him down and soon enough he's on his bike with Cass while Danny follows from above.
Babs, bless her soul and praise her endlessly, is all prepared with writing utensils. She has Jason’s set of programmable buttons which he just realized did not come to his place -she must have redirected it here- and the various programs she uses to find people open on her computer and ready to go.
~•~
Since Danny’s memory is vague, there are a lot of files to go through, and Barbara has given him free reign to poke around her little base of operations.
It gives him a reason to not pace. He takes an old broken laptop and starts deconstructing it meticulously. Keeping his hands busy, keeps the rest of his body still and allows his mind to run over endless possibilities without focusing too closely on the worst case scenarios.
Jason is off in the corner, helmet off, murmuring into his Red Hood phone. Danny is purposely listening to the hum of the many fans and the sound of the massive AC used to help keep the super computer cool. He really doesn't wanna eavesdrop, especially if it's about him.
The last piece comes apart in his fingers and he pauses just long enough to feel the buzz beneath his skin get louder and then promptly starts to reassemble the laptop piece by piece.
Judging by how his soul remains within his body, he's successful at distracting himself from the anxious energy.
"It's just putting it to good use," says a voice from the past. It must be something he's done before. Jazz, his mind supplies.
His hands stop.
Jazz said those words to him. He can feel the way her hair tickles his cheek as she leans over his shoulder in an effort to annoy him into listening to her. The gentle squeeze of fingers on his shoulder which contradicts her other actions.
In every inch of her body language there is, love, love, love...
A hand, gentle but less familiar, landing on his shoulder jerks him out of his head. Something wet hits his hand and he flinches, only just now realizing that it's his own tears. He's crying.
He sucks in air through his teeth harshly. The air shudders it's way back out of his body and with it bursts the dam holding back his emotions.
A sob tears its way from his throat. It physically hurts. The sob and the emotions both.
He barely notices how Jason’s attention jerks to him and the stilted words he says into the phone.
"Not them, but we are here," Cass murmurs in a low raspy voice. It's her hand on his shoulder. When she goes to remove it, Danny’s hand snaps up to stop it without thought.
Slowly he pulls her hand across his shoulder, to his face and presses his forehead to meet it part way. He probably looks pathetic like this, clinging to a near-stranger's hand and pressing the back of said hand to his face with such desperation. If he's not careful his ecto might decide that absorbing people is a great new thing to do. It certainly seems to like to do new impossible things every other week.
Or at least it used to. Before...
Will it again? Is he still the same as he was before? He's scared to change back. He's never stayed ghost and gone without air or food or water for so long.
Danny is scared.
He hiccups when Black Bat runs her fingers through his hair. They ghost along his scalp and the familiarity of it has his breath hitching into a sob.
He's a mess. His mind and body twisted and broken in ways he might never be able to repair. He's lost time, so much time... time in which anything could have happened to those he wants to protect. Those he failed to protect.
He barely realizes he's leaning into Black Bat's warmth until her arms circle him. She runs gentle hands in soothing circles along his back. She lets out a sort of chirr from the back of her throat which seems to surprise her.
He needs to know what happened to Jazz. He doesn't want to know what happened. He needs to know how long it's been. He doesn't want to know. He needs to know what's happening now. He doesn't...
His sobbing eventually peeters out into a buzzing whine from his core. Black Bat still holds him. She knows. She knows. She Knows.
She doesn't try to tell him, "It's okay," or any of the useless nonsense many people spout whenever someone around them is in tears. It helps that she knows.
He's not sure how long they stay like that, her crouched next to him, arms looped firmly around each other. Surely she's uncomfortable by now, but she shows no signs of it. He should go back home, with Jason.
(Jason is home now, what a thought that is)
However, whether he's at home or here, he'll be doing the same anxious waiting. At least here, he'll see the information as it comes in. No one can keep it from him in some effort to protect him or something.
(Call him paranoid, but he's pretty certain someone has done something similar in the past.)
His memories are still sparse and unspecific. He'd probably have to sleep in order to retrieve more and he'd really rather not. Sleep feels too much like being trapped again. He thought that was getting better back when he was still a dog, but maybe that's because he was never truly asleep. Even the thought of sleep sends hot jolts through his ice core, an uncomfortable feeling to say the least.
He's thinking too much.
Right before he moves to pull away, Black Bat relaxes her hold and makes it far easier for him to disengage. His core makes a sound not unlike a small stream running over rocks, "thank you, thank you, thank you."
She nods, and grabs the edge of her cape to send it fluttering in a way that she somehow knows conveys, "You're welcome. Safe."
He's not sure how she knows it but that's not all that important to him right now. He turns to the basket of gadgets and electronics to pick out something else to disassemble and cannibalize for parts to add to the partially assembled laptop.
~•~
Jason’s crimelord phone rings not long after they've arrived. Danny is already deconstructing a laptop in a nerve fueled fugue state. Every once in a while his edges do this sort of glitch that's more than a little concerning.
His caller ID says it's Bill. He accepts the call.
"What you got for me, Bill?"
"Ya know that insane amount of footage you asked me to look through for suspicious activity?"
Jason hums an affirmative. Danny doesn't seem to be listening in on Jason’s conversation. Good.
"Well I was startin' to think you was yanking my chain but I found somethin' you might qualify as suspicious activity. I've sent it over our server."
"What is it?"
"Some out of townie wackos takin' some weird coffin thing into the cemetery real late."
"You said they're from out of town?"
Danny’s sudden sob distracts him from the call momentarily, so his next words aren't thought through.
Cass waves Jason off. She'll handle it, she can read people and she's worked hard to learn how to put that to use helping people in distress.
"They had an armored white van, hoss," comes the reply, deadpan.
"Fair 'nough."
"Was all very villain lookin' n not the low key kind. Has a logo on the side, maybe you can clean it up n read it."
"Thanks Bill. I think this might be exactly what I was hoping to find. You can expect a nice bonus for this."
"Not a prob, boss."
Jason hung up his phone and shuffled over to the nearest device with server access. There's a series of codes and phrases he has to input before he has access to the server but once he has the file up, he sees the two clips time stamped hours apart. The first is short and shows the duo arriving in their suspicious as hell armored tank/van/motor home. It cuts off after they head into the cemetery with tools.
Jason doesn't want to see the other clip. He knows what is on there and he still doesn't want to see it. He clicks on it before he can chicken out. He watches avidly until the perps unload that horribly familiar metal contraption. It's there that his breath stops and his eyes lose focus. He double checks the date of the footage.
4 months...
Spooky, no, Danny was there 4 months before Jason died, 10 months by the time Jason was resurrected. It's been almost 6 years now...
God, Jason would have gone insane. It's a miracle that Danny is as put together as he is.
He sets his jaw before snapping a screenshot of the van and its logo. He shuffles over to Babs and passes her the tablet with the screenshot pulled up.
Jason glances up to find Danny in the middle of some sort of break down and Cass comforting him. It breaks his heart, but it's probably healthy for Danny.
She's quick to take in the new info and plugs in the tablet to her computer. She's clearing one of the screens and opening her photo cleaning program while the photo finishes uploading.
By the time the photo is cleaned and somewhat readable, Danny is back to reassembling the laptop, although Jason is fairly certain he just saw a piece of a walkie talkie go in there.
A sort of horrified fascination creeps up his spine the longer he watches Danny attach parts together that quite frankly have no physical way to attach to one another and have no business being anywhere near each other.
A tap to his side, finally pulls Jason’s attentions away from the technological abomination being built just across the room. His gaze jumps first to Babs and then, at her prompting, to one of the smaller screens.
Enlarged and cleaned up, the side of their van shows a very large stylized [f] with more letters tucked along one of the lines.
[Fenton]
Next to it, Babs had pulled up some related searches and specifically clicks on one that shows a family of four, two of whom are wearing bright jumpsuits matching the suspicious pair driving the van. The couple wearing them on this website also match the suspects from the surveillance footage in terms of body type.
Without a word, Babs highlights a specific name in the description underneath.
[Jasmine]
Specifically, Jasmine Fenton, the Fenton couple's daughter. As Jason scans the little "About" paragraph, he has to do a double take upon spotting the name, Danny. Further up their son is referenced as Daniel, but evidently he goes by Danny.
One coincidence is just that, a coincidence. Two coincidences and it's time to start looking closely.
Jason knows it's too early to assume anything, but he has a strong feeling that all answers lie with the Fentons.
Upon closer examination of Danny Fenton, he notes some similarities to Spooky Danny.
He points out the name to Babs and she quickly runs a search only to blanche at the results.
At the top of the list is an article detailing the disappearance and death of 15 year old Danny Fenton.
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alittlebitofloveliness · 18 hours ago
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just read both of your posts about the outsiders scenario of ponyboy died instead of johnny, and now I'm curious — just theoretically, how do you see it going down if dallas was the one to die first? i know it's completely illogical and he's just not the type to die all of a sudden or be reckless in a "hero" way, but still. I'm really damn curious about how it would affect johnny, especially, as you have mentioned that losing someone in the gang would've taken a big toll on him.
Hi anon! I'm really having fun with this though experiment, thank you for the ask. If anyone else has any more feel free to send asks, and for anyone who's new to this meta heres part 1, part 2, and part 3.
Now, let's dive in. In what world does Dallas die before/instead of Johnny and how does it change the story's outcome? You're right in that Dallas isn't particularly illogical or 'heroic', but he IS incredibly loyal, reckless to a fault, and absolutely ruled by his emotions. He follows Pony and Johnny into the fire, and emerges with a burned arm. Now this action is heroic but also selfish, and reckless to the point of dangerous. Dallas easily could have been the one who broke his back and ended up dying in the hospital instead of Johnny. In fact, it was arguably his plan, as he and Johnny tossed Pony out first and Dally only followed behind immediately since Pony was literally on fire. I firmly think that when Dallas ran into the church he didn't have any plan other than to get the other two out no matter what, even if it meant sacrificing himself. Remember, Johnny is Dallas' living embodiment of hope, he cannot see anything happen to him, and like the rest of the gang Dallas is protective of Ponyboy- he also is gallant to an extent, Johnny wasn't wrong about that.
So Dally gets hit in the back with a burning beam and he gets rushed to the hospital and then he dies. Now, Dallas Winston doesn't do anything by halves and that includes dying. Since Johnny and Pony are with him in the hospital he dies a lot sooner than Johnny, maybe even before the rest of the gang gets there. Ponyboy's reunion with his brothers is made more emotional with Dallas gone, and Johnny- well, Johnny could go one of two ways.
In canon verse we see Johnny commit to staying gold- or at least not dying with hate- but this commitment only comes after he's accepted his death is imminent. While it's possible seeing Dally die would bring about the same realization as in canon- especially in a universe where Dally's death is less violent than it canonically was- one must remember that Dally was Johnny's hero. He looked up to him immensely, above anyone else, and had faith in Dallas that no one else did. I think seeing Dally's heroic act being the cause of his death might make Johnny think that maybe Dally had the right idea being cold and cruel and mean. Maybe he sees that and then goes to the rumble and enjoys the feeling of kicking the socs asses because he knows Dally would have loved it too. Maybe he sees Ponyboy, sick and weak, delirious after being kicked in the head, fighting through nightmares and horrified by Dally's death and a piece of him hardens. Maybe he sees Steve cry and Soda holding him up, watches Darry identify the body of someone else he cared about, sees Two-bit turn back to his bottle, and maybe he makes a decision. Maybe Johnny sees the east side and all that it does and thinks maybe Dally had the right of it, maybe it is better to be harsh and cruel, maybe it means he can take care of Pony and the rest of the gang better, maybe if he's colder everyone will stop treating him like a victim and maybe he can stop feeling like one.
I think the story could end with Dally's death and Johnny becoming exactly like him and it would change the themes but it wouldn't change the message too much if that makes sense? Like, it would still hammer home the ideas of cycles of violence and that people are people, and it's their choices that define them- but it would change the characters inexorably.
Thanks for the ask!
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agirlinthegalaxy · 4 months ago
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It's been rolling around in my brain the last few days for some reason, but I still hate the family backstory reveals for Sophie and Eliot. I've seen some of the meta for it, but quite frankly, it still makes no sense. If it had been something actually thought of and intentional in the original, I think it could have been so fascinating. I mean, Sophie's willing abandonment of Astrid to contrast with Nate's loss of Sam or Eliot's adoption in contrast with Hardison's and Parker's? Could have been excellent! But they came out of nowhere in Redemption and don't work with these characters.
Sophie was still actively using the fucking alias that she met Astrid under! She met with someone from her past on the show! Like. Quite frankly, that one is unequivocally bullshit that they made up and threw in and pretended could fit with the established canon. (And I'm sorry, but the idea of Sophie abandoning Astrid and never telling Nate about her just... So much of Nate's trauma was rooted in the loss of Sam, and I think that introducing this element after he's gone and unable to respond to it taints Sophie and Nate's relationship in a way bc I'm not exactly sure how Nate would've responded to learning about this but I think that it's something he'd have needed to know. I don't know how to fully express my thoughts on that but yeah.)
As for Eliot, I don't like the adoption aspect literally at all. The way that he would interact with his family and the memory of his family would be different, and I think that it's flat out ridiculous to think that he'd have never mentioned it to the team in the original show, especially when dealing with the kid cases. (I also dislike the biracial adoption as its own element because if Eliot was actually raised by Black parents in the... idk what 80s/90s? That just. doesn't feel congruent with how they write Eliot interacting with PoC, not necessarily in a bad way, but babe, he's written like a white southern man raised in a specific kind of culture that does not jell with that. It also makes Eliot look... really bad that he was apparently raised with the knowledge of how fucked up the military was and his parents' history and made the choices that he did.) Like the show may not have explicitly stated it but the implication of that relationship was vastly fucking different throughout the original show.
Just. These were not backstories that were congruent with their depiction and characters in the original show, and they're also just moves that I don't particularly like or find interesting directions for those characters. There's also something to be said about how it was apparently unacceptable for a woman to not have kids or someone not reconciling with their biological family when that was something that the original show handled a lot better. Out of all the directions to take Sophie and Eliot's stories, that's just not really one that I think was a good idea.
#i'm not sure if i worded this v well tbh which concerns me#bc like. like i said i dont like the adoption plot anyways but part of my problem with that storyline IS that billy is black#bc i don't think that the way eliot is written makes sense if he was raised by a black couple during that decade#bc the way that he would have engaged with his family and community and the world around him would've been different#especially bc he was raised in the fucking south in the 80s#bc i dont think eliot was ever racist in the original show but i dont think that he really knew#how it was different for poc in certain ways that dont make sense if he was raised by a black couple#like the previous implications of his childhood and specifically his father were v much in the stereotypical v pro military be a man cultur#that culture is also v rooted in toxic masculinity and whiteness#God i hope that makes sense bc i feel like that sounds v bad#but i'd love more black characters on the show and i think that for pretty much any other mc that'd have been fine#it's specifically eliot with the space that he occupies that i feel like it's a problem with his backstory#which also is why i dont like that he's adopted at all bc that's an influential part in how you first view your place and family and all th#that i dont think makes sense with eliot's character. like literally nothing about that reveal really feels like it makes sense with eliot#and to move over to sophie for a second i feel like bringing up the abandoned stepdaughter would have been pretty damn important#when sophie was struggling with the idea of who she really was beneath the aliases and the grift#and especially when she's in a relationship with nate who WAS a father like#and that she used the charlotte alias to meet with someone from her past but there wasnt anything about the fallout#which still makes no fricking sense either way#also insert something about sophie being an older woman without kids#(i know there's the ot3 but they're not actually in a position as her kids bc theyre still equals in a sense)#and needing to actually go no no she was a mom! and then bailed and did all this and blah blah but she's always been a mom in her heart <3#and adding in this relationship as if an older woman cant be satisfied or complete without kids#and i know that ppl might bring up parker but like lbr parker is positioned in a v different space narratively than sophie#ofc parker doesn't have kids she's positioned in a space as the Odd one the kinda broken one#her defying the expectations narratively doesnt necessarily work the same bc of her place#idk i kinda hope these dont end up in the main tags bc idk how ppl will respond nor how well i actually got across my points#but i do wanna tag them for my blog so#leverage#sophie devereaux
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goldentigerfestival · 7 months ago
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I love the vocal nuance in this exchange, but also posting this for my differences posts because this is one of the changes that infuriates me the most. Yuri didn't threaten Ioder, did not threaten him with a weapon, and just said he'd punch him in a lazy, half joking voice (half joking as in, he really doesn't want to hear that - that's just his way of saying so; but that's not the voice of someone who is super angry and threatening).
My other huge grievance is that this is a recurring issue between them in the dub. Yuri is pretty much always vocally rude to Ioder. Ioder has done nothing to wrong him or anyone and has only ever done good for the people where he's able to.
Yet despite Ioder being nothing but sincere, honest and polite with Yuri, in fact even happy to see him here and there, dub Yuri is outright tonally rude to him leading right up this scene where he threatens Ioder in this dark voice. Meanwhile he's actually just supposed to be… lazily telling Ioder he'll punch him in his Yuri Lowell way of saying "I don't want to hear that".
The dub really just wanted to turn Yuri into this dark edgelord and I hate that for my goofy, silly boy.
#GTF Vesperia Clips#honestly JP Yuri talks abt punching ppl often enough that it's like... this should have been an easy tl#and like honestly wtf is with the dub having Yuri at Ioder's absolute THROAT every time they talk#I'm serious when I say dub Yuri genuinely pisses me off sometimes bc he's an asshole for NO reason#it's not cool. I'm not rooting for him. I'm rooting for someone to punch him in the face for being an ass#JP Yuri would love to do it honestly he's always up for punching ppl it's a recurring theme for /him/#I've never wanted to punch JP Yuri in the face. I've wanted to punch dub Yuri in the face multiple times#that's enough for me to recognize that the dub took more than just ''creative liberties'' with the loc#it SUCKS too bc the dub in and of itself isn't bad. I've said this before but#it really is primarily Yuri and his absolute ATTITUDE problem /and/ the way the dub treats Flynn and puts him down constantly#and unfortunately often uses Yuri to do it... when they're not having Flynn himself do it#all always in areas that never even happened originally. they just literally made it up#still not over how they had Flynn basically berate himself by saying ''like a /good knight/'' at Yormgen#the dub very clearly had a /narrative/ bias against imperial figures/knights that wasn't in the original#what was the reason to drop Sodia calling Yuri ''sir'' at Aurnion? there wasn't one!#but Sodia BaD so we can't possibly let anyone see her character development and have to hide it from dub players!#unfortunately for me the dub not being bad in and of itself truly is trumped by#its treatment of Yuri and Flynn as characters and the way the game narratively directs players#for me it really is THAT BAD that it's stronger than the rest of the dub being just fine#and it really truly honestly RUINS the entire dub for me bc I love Yuri and Flynn and hate seeing them treated like that#I mean literally the whole point of me making those text posts is bc of my love for Yuri lol#and it's so sad and hard to see dub players not get the same Yuri experience simply bc... they don't even know#a lot of people didn't even realize how different he was and like... I get loving Troy's acting#but again Troy isn't the problem here. I don't want a dub that treats my favorites the way it does#I WISH Troy could have voiced Yuri the way he really is. in some way for me it feels very lonely#bc like the casual person I pass by who knows Vesp isn't likely to have not played the dub you know??#so it's like... I wanna talk abt Yuri but we aren't even talking abt the same Yuri#nearly outta tags lol but yeah it just... makes me SO sad that they did all this to those two
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bylertruther · 2 years ago
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some of you never grew up in a small conservative town as a (gay) nerd that was bullied, harassed, and excluded for years on end for not fitting in and for visibly and enthusiastically liking geek things—geek things that then branded you a satanist in everyone's eyes and as something Other, Lesser, and Undoubtedly Unworthy of Basic Human Decency even though you were literally just an actual child with harmless interests and not a satanist or an evil disgusting subhuman thing, and it shows.
you cannot apply modern views and beliefs to a show that is set in the eighties, especially not when it's set in conservative midwest eighties which is a whole other beast. being a socially awkward and nonconforming geek is something that people STILL get bullied for if you don't do it in a way that the majority deems "acceptable", especially if you live in a conservative, religious area.
your experiences are not universal and your inability to relate to a certain motif or story does not make it "lesser" or "bad writing."
#stranger things#mike wheeler#<- tagging and then disappearing into the mist again bc i don't like it here lol.#girls when they love stranger things because they finally see characters just like them with the same exact experiences written with such#care and respect for those that have been Deemed Other but people who have not had those experiences refuse to believe that they're#realistic and STILL happen to people bc if they're fortunate to have not gone through that then clearly that means that it doesn't exist#and if it does then it's not Traumatic Enough or a good enough plot to cause such inner turmoil in the characters who experience that#💥🛼#i got bullied for being a nerd in the 2000s and 2010s. you can absolutely get bullied for being a nerd and being a nerd is enough reason#for social exile in some places. when dustin said that no one was nice to him or mike? when lucas said that girls laughed at them? and it's#all because they're deemed freaks and satanists for liking fantasy things? that's Real and it doesn't hurt any less just because you think#it's not a good enough reason to bully someone.#i was called a satanist to my face by adults. people acted like i was some Creature or whatever just because i liked fiction and wasn't#interested in what the majority was interested in and wore dark clothing sometimes. like.. hello. school shooter jokes? the way#that neurodivergent people get treated when they're visibly ''different'' and enjoy things passionately? the way that liking star wars was#a thing to ridicule until it suddenly became Acceptable and Popular to like? i feel like i'm living in a different reality than so many#people here with the way that they talk about certain things in this show. and don't even get me started on the way people approached#the angela and el situation....#maybe just be glad that these things did not happen to you and stop acting like it's lesser or a bad story bc of that? just a thought.
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sysig · 9 months ago
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See you everywhere, now that you’re gone (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Damned#Helix#ZEX#Dexter Favin#Ft. Wally West and Xigbar again - they're good to him <3#Hhhh ;; The sads :'0#ZEX never got to fully show off his uniform ;;#I was so hoping for that! He deserves to show off and feel nice and be praised </3#At least he'd surrounded himself with good people - the dynamics around which are also interesting#Wally lovely <3 He's so sweet honestly just wants to offer a shoulder if he's able any small bit of comfort#He's injured and he's still trying to hug ZEX weh ;; Any bit of solace ♥#Xigbar's way of cheering him up is his own kind of misplaced sweetness haha I love the care put into everyone's quirks <3#Ugh the whole thing of Nobodies trying to (and failing to! To varying degrees) convince themselves that they don't have emotions#Clearly Xig is unbothered by this so it's better to just flirt and not worry about it! It's a shame but it happens to everyone#I see you Xigbar ♥ Really tho him being a bit flippant and silly and tactile with ZEX did seem to help haha#''Let me comfort you'' pfft - sad silliness hehe#And then Dexter showed up!! I was so unprepared for that!!#Honestly I only expected him to come visit The One Time so I was so not ready for him to be here after All This#He made ZEX cry last time and this time he came to it already crying ;;#Ughhughgh ZEX's unshakable trust for DAX - even just his voice - being the breaking point of his self control I jfdlksahfds#Someone he can be weak in front of since he doesn't want to be seen by anyone that way - only to DAX ;;;;#Offering any bit of familiarity as comfort weh I'm fine this is fine ;;#Poor ZEX :( Being so powerless and helpless in this situation is so sad!! At least when he was in the War he was in control to an extent#He only touched his cheek with his uniform later that night which I do honestly love the imagery of soft and tender <3#I like drawing people holding things fully to their face more than I remembered haha#And then the fact that his roommate changed the same night and it was /Kirk/ of all people fjdslahfdsfd wehhhhh 😭#Kirk is genuinely the sweetest to him he is absolutely best boy but to have a Captain after all that ;;;;#It cuts so deeply ironic oww <3 <3
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malewifemanhunter · 4 months ago
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the best time for your brain to bring up that relationship that you fucked up feominally is when you're right in front of a deadline. oh what could have been if he weren't such a fridgit bitch and if i hid more of myself. maybe he would've still loved me. my heart is heavy and my chest feels numb, and my stomach is burning and my head is foggy. i miss him, but only when it's the most inconvenient
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suffercerebral · 3 months ago
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i wonder if my ex best friend remembers my birthday every year the way i remember hers
#haven't really thought about her in a while#hope she's well#i don't think she remembers it#i often feel like i'm leaving flowers at the graves of people from my past#lately i've been haunted by thoughts and dreams about people i used to love#and i will always love all of them#no matter how badly i got hurt in the process#a piece of me fractures off when i love someone and i wish they'd keep that piece tucked away somewhere in the closet and dust it off somet#imes. i stil have every letter#every gift every photo every silly thing i've saved over the years#and i know that no one does the same for me#i wonder what my ex did with the drawings i made them after they dumped me for their ex. were they thrown out and forgotten#or maybe did they keep them in a drawer somewhere to find a few years down the line and remember my face. my voice. my laugh#i still have the letter i started writing for them about a week before they left where i was saying i regretted not telling them i loved th#and sometimes i wonder had they seen the finished product if things would be different#my reluctance to admit my love out of fear of being forgotten results in abandonment more often than not#my girlfriend now swears the pattern isn't going to repeat but i've heard that song before and lately i haven't felt safe#and loved the way i once did. she tells me to talk to my therapist. but i don't think it's in my head. i told her if she's thinking of#leaving to just do it now and spare me the pain of love burning out slowly#and maybe she'll listen and that terrifies me#i am my own biggest burden
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