#i start my internship today and i am so scared

[gaudebo]

fellas….

[cosmosluckycharms]

Bug like angel

pt2

Girl Afraid

May 12, XXXX

4:45 AM

"Shit," you think to yourself as you realize you're going to be late for school

Yes, your school usually doesn't start till 7 AM, but you have a field trip today, and the bus leaves at 5:30 AM.

"Ms.Rose is gonna kill me if I'm late again! Where did I put my bag? Where are my earbuds?" you whisper to no one in particular

You had a million thoughts running in your head, but one thing was sure, you were so late.

You still had to grab your phone, eat breakfast, put on your clothes, do your hair and makeup on the bus, and run towards the bus and then maybe you can make it in time.

You rush downstairs to get breakfast and realize you don't have to be as quiet because it's empty in the kitchen.

You quickly eat breakfast and finish your morning routine before making it out the door.

It's 5:43 when you make it onto the bus, Ms. Rose was waiting on you and thankfully didn't you much of a hard time.

"Ms.y/n, please be more considerate of others time next time."You sat down next to your "friends"

You don't fully consider them your friends, they're too full of themselves and you all know none of you guys are friends, just close acquaintances.

After finishing the coffee you brought onto the bus ride, doing your hair and makeup, and taking a quick nap while listening to music, you finally made it.

Alchemax.

You were excited for the trip, even asking Dick, Jason, and Bruce if they wanted to tag along as chaperones.

They said no, which you both understood and were also sad about but, whatever, who cares? Anyways- you're at the coolest place!

It's perfect for someone who wants an internship that would look great on your resume.

Why do you want that resume? You don't know. Maybe it's so you can impress your family? You aren't fully sure.

Before you question yourself further, you get off the bus, along with your schoolmates.

You hear them all chatting about whatever, but it's clear to everyone that you are the most excited to go on this trip.

You, who wouldn't shut up about it despite everyone at school and home telling you to. You, who kept bouncing off walls while talking about it. You, who constantly wrote about it in journals.

Nothing could stop your excitement, and that was clear to others.

While you were there, you were practically the only one participating.

The only one wasnt scared to ask questions.

The one that would ask questions for others who wouldn't.

You were sure that this was the best trip of your life! You were so interested in everything!

It wasn't until later in the day after you got home at 7:56 that you saw everyone in the dining room sitting together eating, like usual, without you.

Every time you saw them together your heart broke a little more.

You tried to not make a scene and just walk away quietly, and it worked!

With everyone but Alfred.

"And where have you been, young miss?" He asked in an authoritary tone.

"I've been on a field trip in Alchemax! I just got back! It was soo fun, why?" you asked, knowing what he was going to ask.

"Wouldn't you like to have dinner with the others?" it's clear he just wanted the others to notice you, he knew you've tried so hard to be with them.

"it's alright, Alfred. I grabbed lunch with my friends earlier, I'm still full!" you said enthusiastically. It wasnt a lie, afterwards you all went to your favorite fast food place, batburger. You're sure theres no better fast food place than batburger.

"Oh, that's quite alright then." as soon as he said that you went upstairs to get unready and unpack for the day. you didnt notice Jasons slight dissapointment on his face when you refused and walked away.

It's good that it was a Friday, you could rest tomorrow.

You didn't notice how you accidentally took Project 111 with you. Mustve sneaken in your bag while you went to the bathroom while at Alchemax.

It took you a while to open your bag due to you getting ready for bed, and you screamed when you saw a spider in your bag and crawling onto your hand.

"FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK STOP CRAWLING ON ME LEAVE ME ALONE WHERE DID YOU COME FROM GO AWAY!" the stupid spider kept crawling on you.

It's honestly suprising no one heard you scream. Either that or they didnt care.

You didnt know what to do. You hate spiders.

It took you minute or two of just flailing before actually doing something.

You tried to reach for your nearest hairbrush to hit the spider with, only to accidentally hit yourself anywhere but where the spider was. Thats gonna leave a mark.

The spider, project 111, ended up biting you on the wrist. You ended up killing it with your hairspray.

You started panicking on whether you would die or not, you may have cried a little before realizing you were being a tad bit dramatic.

You realized the spider didn't look like the venomous ones you researched online while trying to find common ground with Damian back when he was new

So you decide to keep this to yourself, a nice little secret.

3:37 AM

You woke up sweating, panicking, hot, cold, tired, wide awake, hungry, full, thirsty, not thirsty.

You didn't know what was happening.

You forced yourself to fall back asleep.

it's around 12 PM when you wake up again.

You hope it was just a weird nightmare.

You realize you woke up late to breakfast, which was usually at 9:30 for you, so on your desk was some cold breakfast Alfred left for you.

While eating it, you thought about what happened.

Was it a dream? Was it a sign? Were you high?

You start walking in circles trying to figure out what it could all mean...it took you a while to realize you were literally upside down on your ceiling.

Oops?

Before you processed it, you panicked.Why are you on the ceiling? Why were you walking on walls? How were you walking on walls?

So many questions. No one to answer them.

After a bit of panicking and running around making a mess, you realize you sort of have powers.

You could stick to walls, that was one.

You could make webs, thats two. You could be a hero, like the others!

At first, you find it so cool!

..then you realized your father doesn't want metas in Gotham...

You decide to keep this to yourself, for now at least.

oml this is so short oops guys i swear im. tryigg my hardest but also im kind of a bad writiter 🙏

anyways the next one of these i make is most likely gonna be emu reader cause shes so silly

anyways

[nemolfc]

𝐠𝐮𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐥 - 𝐝𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐤 𝐬𝐳𝐨𝐛𝐨𝐬𝐳𝐥𝐚𝐢

・𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐲𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐬.

(𝐛𝐚𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭)

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: 𝐝𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐤 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭, 𝐲𝐞𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐞�� 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐮𝐠𝐥𝐲 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝.

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐠𝐮𝐲𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐈 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐬𝐥𝐮𝐦𝐩 …

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 𝟐: 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐟 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝, 𝐬𝐨 𝐢𝐟 𝐢𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐭, 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐦𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐈 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐥𝐨𝐥𝐳, 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧, 𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲.

This was it, the biggest moment she had ever experienced, her graduation ceremony.

Physiotherapy has been her greatest passions ever since she was a child, she had graduated school from her home country, opting to pursue a masters degree in Oxford University - and along the way she'd started working as an intern in one of the biggest football clubs known, Liverpool Football Club ... during the internship, not only was she able to implement her thesis topic, but also find love with a lovable Hungarian player.

Like her, Dominik was new to the club which was a common point that led to the pair growing closer during her time working there - eventually, a relationship was born, one that tested time as both were quite occupied with their passions yet despite that, were able to find time for one another.

Dominik was everything she could ever hope for in a man, charming, attentive, funny and ridiculously handsome.

The past ten months were a pure blessing, despite his busy schedule. Dominik would constantly call in to check on her as well as ask about her studies, he'd often sit with her whenever he wasn't busy with training and help her study, even going as far as to ask her about what her thesis topic, further assuring her just how attentive he was to her passion, the same way she did with her constantly being present during every match he played as well as helping him rehabilitate during his injury.

Each and every moment they spent together had led to this very moment now, today was a special day, it was the day she was set to recieve her degree.

The excitement had led to her waking up at around six in the morning despite the ceremony not starting for another three hours, she turns to her right to find a sleeping Dominik, his lips slightly parted, hair disheveled due to tossing and turning, the tattoos quite promiment and peeking from the bed sheets as his chest rose and fell evenly.

She didn't have the heart to wake him, therefore she gently removed the bedsheets from her body and tiptoed to the kitchen to make her-self some tea, she pours water into the kettle and turns on the stove to let it boil, she then proceeds to grab the mug that read, Future Doctor - the mug was a gift that Dominik had gotten her for her twenty first birthday which was quite adorable given that in his words, he knew that fancy gifts weren't exactly what she wanted.

Lost in thought, she barely noticed her boyfriend of nearly eleven months stride up to her from behind, he wraps his arms around her waist and lazily nuzzled his face in the curvature of her neck, "I told you I don't like to wake up alone." he whispers.

A soft smile appears across her lips, "I'm sorry baby, I am too nervous about today, I don't want to look like an idiot."

He grunts something incoherent before he said, "Baba, you won't look like an idiot! If anything, you're the opposite of an idiot."

"I almost spilt my coffee on your chest the first time we met," she reminds him with an amused expression across her face.

He chuckles, "God I wished you did, would have been an excuse to be closer to you back then."

She giggles at his remark, "I'm excited, I'm scared and nervous Domi, I mean I worked so hard for this, I don't want anything to go wrong."

Dominik reaches over to turn off the stove then swiftly turns her to face him, he cradles her face in his hands then proceeds to lean in and peck her lips before muttering, "You are going to look absolutely gorgeous taking that degree, and then I can brag about how I'm dating the most intelligent girl in the world."

His words soften her almost instantly and she proceeds to hug him, "I love you."

He grins then presses a kiss on the top of her head, "I love you too baby."

There was no denying that she had his whole heart, from the very moment he saw her in the training center until this very moment - he was and still hopelessly devoted her, yet the insecurities in the back of his could not help but rear their ugly head, she was so accomplished, so intelligent, well spoken and put together ... what was he? just a guy that became well known for pushing a ball in between his feet because his father wanted him to follow in his footsteps, sure he loved the game, granted the circumstances weren't healthy but in contrast her, he felt like ... nothing.

And boy did he loathe that emotion, it was akin to jealousy, something he had never felt in ages, not since he was a child having to see other children enjoying a normal life all the while his days consisted of training.

"Domi," she murmurs, breaking his train of thought.

"Hm?" he replied, rubbing her back.

"I gotta make my tea." she said.

"Make me one too then, please." he murmurs.

"Ok," she said then kissed his cheek.

He watched her with pure admiration as she quickly whipped up two mugs of chamomile tea, adding a hint of cardamom to help both of them relax for the big day, and as they make their way back to their bed, Dominik couldn't help but wonder if she would be better off with someone else, a doctor perhaps, or a lawyer, or someone with a normal occupation that doesn't force them to be away half the time.

He wanted to ask her, desperately wondering why she would rather stay with him than seek another man, yet he remained shut, especially when she curled up next to him after drinking her tea and quickly drifted off to sleep leaving him with only the ugly insecure thoughts swimming inside of his mind.

__

Dominik was seated with her parents who had traveled to attend the ceremony, dressed in a three piece black suit which he believed was suitable for the ceremony - he noted just how proud both of her parents were which in turn made him happy as the pair had worked so hard to provide her with this opportunity, "She was quite nervous." he remarked.

Her father chuckles, "she's always nervous,"

"Our angel is a pessimist at heart despite recieving the highest degrees, succeeding both in her studies and her extra curricular activites," her mother chimes in. "Hell, she was even nervous before she introducued us to you, she thought we wouldn't approve of you,"

Dominik smiles, recalling just how nervous she was at the propsect of him meeting her parents yet things turned out quite well, her father treated him as though he was his own and her mother doted on him, insisting that he visited whenever he could, "She definitely is ... but look at her,"

They watch in awe as her name was called out, and she gracefully walks up dressed in a beautiful dress topped off by the graduation cape and hat, she accepts her degree, flashing a smile towards her parents and Dominik, then making her way to the empty chair to sit whilst the others recieve their degrees.

"I don't know what I've done to deserve her," he murmurs, mostly to himself.

Her mother leans in and whispers, "You two are soulamtes."

Dominik turns to her then says, "Huh?"

"You think you two just met by chance, not at all," her mother smiles softly then adds, "God has put you in her path and her in yours, you two are more alike than you think."

He grows silent, contemplating if she was right yet the small voice in his head says otherwise causing him to momentarily grow frustrated at how insecure he was. "I love her," he said.

"She loves you too," her mother assures him just before saying, "Oh look, she's set to make a speech."

Dominik shifts his focus towards her as she takes the podium, with a clearly nervous look on her face, their eyes lock for a moment and he sends her an assuring smile, which seemingly worked on calming her nerves.

"Good afternoon," she begins with a soft smile, "I'm not good at speeches but I shall try to make this as short and brief as I can, I'd like to first congratulate my colleagues who worked as hard as myself to achieve their dream and make their mark as future Physiotherapists, it wasn't easy but we made it," she pauses, "I'd like to thank my professors, the department and everyone who pushed us to work hard, and be confident in our abilites, I'd also like to thank God as well as my parents who risked just about everything to give me this opportunity, and lastly, I'd like to thank my boyfriend ..."

Dominik's eyes softened as he sent her a sweet smile, tears brimmed at the corners of his eyes.

"He doesn't know that much about the inner depths of Physiotherapy and god knows I bored him night and day but he stuck with me, supporting me day and night until I got this far, so thank you." she smiled at him. "And lastly, I'd like to say, let's face life with the bravest face we got because it's not easy but it's worth it, thank you."

A thunderous roaring applause rippled through the auditorium as she made her way back to her chair, the photographer snapped a couple of photographs before the graduates were able to unite with their family and loved ones, she rushed to her parents, embracing the two of them as they congratulated her, she then turned to Dominik and said with an obvious squeal, "I made it."

"I knew you'd do it baby." Dominik embraced her before adding, "Now come on, dinner is on me."

"Nonesense, dinner is on us." her father interjects.

"No no, you two are here for two days, dinner is on me." Dominik smiles.

They dine in a beautiful Italian restaurant with a comfortable atmosphere, her parents spent the entire time conversing about the prospects she'd have now that she graduated and while he wanted nothing more than to pitch in, he found himself feeling less like her boyfriend and more like an idiot who did not understand a single thing they said.

She deserves better than you, the small voice reminds him. She's intelligent, beautiful and young, she deserves someone that can understand her, not a dumb fool like you.

Suddenly, Dominik stood up, excusing himself to head to the restroom unaware that she was rather confused by his demeanor as she had noted just how distant and lost in thought he was - she opted to wait until they were home to try and speak to him, meanwhile he was in the restroom, staring blankly at his reflection in the mirror.

What am I? just a clueless idiot who runs after a ball, he lets out a soft sigh, and she's just, ... perfect.

He hated this, this nagging sensation of jealousy coursing through his veins at this moment. Maybe I am holding her back, ... I should just let her go, she would find someone better, someone that can understand her and doesn't feel like an insecure child.

He splashes cold water on his face, then dries it off with a paper towel before stepping out and returning to their table, he sits down next to her and she leans in to whisper. "You ok love?"

"Yeah," he assures her with a smile.

She nods, albeit not convinced as she could tell just how distraught he was.

__

The pair drive back to their shared flat, and the moment they step inside - she stops him halfway before he enters the kitchen - he turns to face her, yet avoids looking her in the eye, "What is it?" he asks despite knowing that she is on to him, and had read through his façade.

"Domi, what's wrong?" she pulls him in, wrapping her arms around his torso.

"Nothing," he grumbles, instinctively wrapping his arms around her lower back. "Just my stupid brain making assumptions."

She frowns in confusion, "Assumptions about what?"

"Us." he blurts out then blushes, "I just ..."

This was difficult, far too difficult than he could imagine yet as he looked into her eyes, noting just how concerned she was for him - he realized that there was no way he could hide his emotions any longer. "I'm jealous, but I'm also insecure."

The phrasing served to both concern and confuse her as she replied with a gentle tone, "What do you mean?"

"You're a graduate with a masters degree, you completed your studies, you had a perfect life ... perfect grades, extra curricular activites and a social life, ..." he sighs then adds on, "All I had was the football pitch and my father asserting that this was the best for me, it's not that I hate football but the circumstances were toxic at best."

Her eyes soften as she reaches to run her fingers through his hair, "I had no idea."

"I didn't want to concern you, it's all stupid ideas. I just, I can't help it ..." he pouts then murmurs, "You deserve better than me."

Her eyes widen at the last phrase, "Absolutely not, if I had the chance to turn back time, I will meet you again, fall in love with you again and picture the most beautiful life with you."

He looks at her then says, "But why? I'm just an idiot who runs after a ball."

"Not to me you're not." she says then leans in to peck his lips. "You're my Domi, the one who makes me laugh with the stupidest jokes known to men, the one who listens to me ramble about the most trivial subjects and my studies, and on top of that he doesn't get bored, you're the one who goes above and beyond during date nights even though he doesn't have to, and you're the one who stole my heart the second I met him, I don't want anyone else to have my heart and I sure as hell don't want any woman to steal you, so what if you're a football player, you're still an amazing man, my man."

Her words were both soft and assertive, serving to lead him to lean in and capture her lips in the most romantic and passionate kiss he could muster, driven by his pure love and affection for her, "I love you baby."

"I love you too" she smiles.

[phoeebsbuffay]

Imagine you are Hayden Christensen's closest friend from college and you help him going through his divorce. Will friendship be enough for either of you? Based on the request made by @calzone-d ...

Warnings: *long post*, drama, explicit smut, fluffy endings.

Recommendations: "Summertime Sadness", "Ride", by Lana Del Rey; “Scared to be Lonely” by Dua Lipa; “Here with me”, by the Killers; “Always” by Gavin James.

***

How it started...

You were 19 years old when you finally got the chance to study cinema at Y/C's university. An old dream you had, to be able to transmit onscreen all your ideas. Your family encouraged you to pursuit the academy of arts in order to become an actress, but you thought yourself too introspective to act.

Well, here you were when you met him. The one who was destined to remain a principal figure in your life over the years. Taking acting classes--well, you did need to study it anyway--you bumped into Hayden Christensen.

"Excuse me", he said to you, a little out of breath.."Is this the acting class with Miss H/N? I fear I am slightly late..."

You remembered finding his blue eyes the handsomest pair of eyes you ever came across with: they were intense, secretive, but friendly too, somewhat emotional. You were instantly captivated.

"Yes, it is. And you are not in the slightest late, young man, but /very/ late indeed. Come in, take your seat, I'll have you updated..."

He gives you a long gaze, relieved for being saved from a bigger trouble—and you can tell he is a freshman like you.

“My name is Y/N”, you side smirk at him.

“Nice to meet you, Y/N. I am Hayden.”

You both shake hands. Something ignites within, but you think it’s because he has such a good aura…

*

“You are such a great actress!”, he is telling you, so many months later. “Quit with the production, you are better than me in decorating the lines.”

You grimace, which makes him laugh. The sound of his laughter is so comforting, like this call to your home.

“I don’t like this acting thing”, you dismiss his compliments nonchalantly. Today, you are in a cafeteria, celebrating the end of another semester. One more to go and you will be ready to keep up with your lives, though you and Hayden had vowed to each other never to be apart. “I feel more comfortable behind the cameras. By the way, I just had this idea!”

And then you lean to him, ready to shake him by his shoulders. He nearly chokes with his coke—but then laughing as always because your impulsiveness often brings him to laughters.

“For the love of God, woman. Do you want to see me dead before the time?”

You side smirk, silently apologizing with your puppy eyes. Hayden smiles back, before encouraging with what you had to say with only a nod. As you do, he seems to suddenly notice how nice your hair looks this day.

“I just had the greatest idea ever! I could film your audition and send to George Lucas. The Star Wars director is looking for someone of our age to portray young Anakin Skywalker. You know, before he becomes Darth Vader, of course.”

Hayden is taken aback by what you tell him. You can see the mix of sentiments that rises behind his blue eyes: insecurity, suspicious before reasoning to excitement.

“What? Are you for real, Y/N? How come did you hear about it? I mean…”

You tell him how your internship led you to it. This is how the fun begins, how both of you in fact begin your career.

*

You are there in every moment of his life: when Hayden has to conciliate his last semester with the filming of “Episode II: Attack of the Clones”, when he tells you that he and his on-screen romantic pair are having a thing.

He is also present at your graduation, the moment when you begin to transit to adulthood. What about it when you get yourself drunk for the very first time?

He is there too.

“I hate the taste of alcohol”, you grumble, unsure how come you are at his couch. “It aches my stomach, makes me sick.”

Hayden chuckles at how all of a suddenly you turn into these kind of discoveries after spending five years in college doing nothing but well behaving. However, due to such a strong bond you two share, he takes care of you.

“This is the moment where I tell you something you told me once: better to put out than to swallow all in.”

You raise your face, eyes twinkling with amusement.

“Did you just hear yourself?!”

“Wasn’t that what you told me?”

“No!”, you laugh hard at his remark. “Oh my God, H!”

He chuckles after you.

“Well, it did make you laugh, didn’t it?”

***

• The subtle changes…

You are single again. Your ex dumped you. Coincidently, Hayden is single as well. He’s also been going through a difficult phase in his life after all the critics coming from the fans of “Star Wars”. “Episode III” of the franchise didn’t go that well and even though it’s been a year since it’s release, he’s still affected by it.

“We’ve been through so much together”, Hayden tells you one day. “We should definitely do something new for a change.”

“I agree”, you sigh. Currently unemployed, you haven’t been yourself lately either. “Any thoughts?”

“A good journey would do us well. Let us go to Scotland”, so he says, excited. “Come on, Y/N. I’ll let you drive!”

You chuckle at his old tendency to be so reckless. And you do so because you can’t refuse him anything. A bad omen you clearly ignore, of course.

“Very well. When should we do this trip?”

But why’d you bother to ask when you know the answer? Hayden smiles warmly at him.

Oh that damn smile…

“Tomorrow. I’ve already bought the tickets and booked the hotel.”

You scoff at him, offended.

“What? Why? Are you taking me for granted, Christensen? For the love of God…”

Just like that he lifts you up and throws you over his shoulder, smiling as you scream out of surprise. As he puts you down, Hayden messes with your hair, delighted when seeing he’s the reason of your amusement.

And he realizes this is a nice view to contemplate: the sight of your smile, the sound of your laughters, the joy that sparks in your eyes… Seeing you like this makes him genuinely smile in his turn and forget about his bad phase.

But he doesn’t realize that this may mean something else. Or perhaps he doesn’t want to. It’s been years now since you and him became the closest of the friends, so what if all of this is just the result of genuine admiration from one friend to the other?

Regardless, he’s going to take you with him to Scotland. And so you go with him… It is wild to consider how you are usually all straight, not doing nothing that goes out the line all the whilst Hayden is more prompted to take chances and live the present quite intently.

On that fact you blame him being very aries all the whilst you, as taurus lady, prefer to know where you are going. However, he makes life so interesting that even you, as already observed, cannot deny him anything.

So here you are now at Edinburgh.

“I love everything that is medieval”, you tell him excitedly with a spark in your eyes that makes Hayden smile. He does like when you speak passionately about the things you are interested. “I cannot believe I took so long to come here!”

“Yeah, me neither!”

It is a good time to be alive, both of you agree. The landscape is seductive, peaceful, traits much sought after such a bad period you both went through. People too are kind, albeit reserved, but very pleasant.

Those days are being built in your memory as something great to be remembered, but perhaps there is just more that neither seem too attentive…

“Lady, one bedroom with two beds”, asks Hayden, when you got to London eventually because he, of course, is a man who plans very little—much to your distress, the woman who likes everything settled.

But this is not any hotel, but a fanciful one. The said lady looks at him pitifully.

“Mr Christensen, my apologies, but there is only a suite with one bed.”

You two blush, but Hayden somehow doesn’t mind it. This is when you realize you not only don’t mind it but you also want it…badly. Perhaps that’s why you sabotage it.

“You know what? Let’s make it for another day. Come now, Hayden. Thank you”, you blurt out, pushing him outside.

“What the hell was that?”, he frowns at you. “Y/N, what’s wrong with sharing a bed? Do you honestly think anything would happen or what?”

He doesn’t realize his words hurt you, but in truth there is more than his subtle frustration at your refusal allows him to admit. There is an unspoken rising desire between you.

And of course you have to ruin everything.

“I just… please don’t be upset! It’s because I cannot afford it and…” and you tell him the other reason for it, which appeases his anger and is more palpable than you’d care to admit: you are expecting an interview.

Hayden softens, naturally, but you know he’s changed. You hate it because you know why. There are so many things that suddenly rise in your throat but they die choked.

Somehow Hayden knows it too. But he chickens away. He hugs you instead, not willing to lose his best friend.

“I’m sorry for being such an impulsive jackass. But we did have a great time, didn’t we?”

Oh but if only you knew what waits for you back to US…

***

• The marriage

Here you are, dressed in yellow, standing as a maid in honor for the bride and groom. Your heart breaks because you realize a little too late that you are in love with your best friend.

Worse is: had you accepted to share one bed with Hayden in London, everything would be different. Yeah, you may not have gotten that job as a producer of that movie, but Hayden wouldn’t meet Rachel Bilson.

Nonetheless, here you are. Celebrating their vows, wondering if you could be there for a moment, what would be like if you were her.

“Hey, Y/Nickname!”, Hayden exclaims after the ceremony is over. He is wearing his gorgeous smile and dressed in fanciful robes, which all highlights his handsomeness. But you have learned to bury everything deep inside your heart. A secret that you’d take to your grave.

“I can’t believe you are married, Hay!”, you giggle when you greet him with a tight embrace. “I’m so happy for you! Oh my God, look how grown up you are!”

He laughs quietly.

“I know right? Who’d ever thought? The idea of marriage was hardly ever entertained for me”, so he says.

“Oh right! As I told Rachel once, I do have recollections of your drunkenness state and all that came between”, you laugh too, remembering the first time he had a hangover.

“What a time to be alive”, says Hayden in his typical good mood.

As you speak, you do seem to come to terms that if he is happy, so are you. You are at peace with it at long last. Hayden, on his turn, for a time seems to have suspected that you harbored feelings for him. But he always ignored it for the sake of your friendship. Now seeing how genuinely happy you are for him, certainly he believes it was all a thing of his head.

But why does he have a bittersweet taste of it?

“Could you introduce me to that man over there?” You nudge his sides, pointing to a handsome man that is not very far from Rachel herself.

Hayden raises an eyebrow.

“Really, now, Y/N?”

“You don’t expect me to be a nun, do you?”

He chuckles.

“Well I don’t want to see you get hurt, is all…”

Quite unwillingly, though, he leads the way. And maybe the night will not end that bad for you, after all.

***

•The divorce and the consequences…

In fact, looking back now it was really a great job pushing Hayden to introduce the guy to you because he ended up becoming your boyfriend.

This new relationship of yours, however, changed the dynamics of your friendship with Hayden for some time—but maybe it was all because he was living a different life now, becoming a father in the process.

A few years rolled upon, though, when everything started to fall apart—for you and Hayden. You found out that your new relationship was damaged because you and your boyfriend were scared to be lonely. A crisis developed to fights, to exchange of words that only broke hearts.

In the meantime, Hayden realized how long he missed his best friend. His own marriage started to fall apart, but the more it broke down, the more he needed you again.

Was it a selfish wish to have you by his side? Such questionings never reached you out due to his pride, that masked his hurt. Perhaps he was only scared to be lonely too. He could deal with it himself.

Nonetheless, destiny—the same destiny that pushed one from the other—is about to bring you two together again. One call and your night would be different.

You are single now, ready to go out that night with your girlfriends when suddenly a phone call startles you. It’s Hayden. Your heart races: he hasn’t been the one to call, and hasn’t done so for a long while.

“Hey, H. How are you? Haven’t heard of you for some time. Is everything ok?”, you ask, concerned.

There is a pause that accelerates your heart. You know he is not well. Before he answers, you immediately add:

“I’ll be in your home in a few minutes.”

“I’ll give you the new address. I’m not living with Rachel anymore: we got divorced.”

You are stunned upon those words. Now your silence leaves Hayden uncomfortable. He breaks it by saying:

“Y/Nickname? Are you there?”

“Yes, honey, I am. I’m so sorry, Hay. Please stay there… I’ll be on my way.”

He chuckles.

“Where else would I go to?”

In a matter of minutes, after requesting an Uber, you, dressed the way you are, arrive to his new home. Hayden side smirks when seeing you, though how he eyes you up and down makes you blush lightly.

“Wow, Y/N. Looking hot, aren’t you?”, he laughs when seeing the pink painting your cheeks, hugging you tight when receiving you. “Please tell me I didn’t ruin your night.”

You slap his shoulder playfully, eyes rolling at his drama.

“Don’t say bullshit to me, Christensen. I just wish I knew it properly before. I hope you don’t mind me looking like this.”

“You have always been a distraction to my eyes”, he teases you, pleased to see nothing has really changed between the two of you. “We need some wine, it’s not really a warming night, I suppose.”

As you look into his new apartment, he promptly gets the best wine to serve you. Without your knowledge, Hayden’s eyes follow your moves: noticing your y/c hair is now on your shoulders, how vivid your eyes are, remaining as observing and curious as before.

He cannot help admiring you physically too: though this is a cold night and you are dressed accordingly, when you drop your black coat on his coach, he sees your warming blouse shows some skin.

Indeed, Y/N, looking as hot and beautiful as always. Such is his thought.

He never really told you but Rachel was jealous of you. According to her, she could see you harbored feelings for him and part of her feared Hayden would correspond. Nonsense, he’d tell her.

But now, was she really so wrong? Yet, another and more important question he asks himself is: how could have he let go of you? Not only about matters of sentimentalism, but you’ve been an important piece of his life.

Seeing you back hurts his heart because he now sees the stupidity in letting go of you. He wishes he could have asked you to wait for him, to never let go of you. But this is such a state of complex selfishness that he quiets his internal riot and puts a smile on his lips when bringing the two of you the best wine he has, aware you prefer the sweet ones.

“I was admiring your new apartment”, you tell him, smiling in thanks as he passes you a full glass. “Whoa, looks like we are having a full drinking night, aren’t we? Christensen, I am not that young anymore. Not sure I am prepared to have a full hangover again.”

Hayden cracks loud and the sound of his laughters makes your heart skip a beat. Nothing feels different, you think, pleased.

“I’m bringing us something to eat, silly head. Besides I’ve always taken care of you, right?”

“That is true”, you agree. “But what are we having to eat today?”

“Always hungry, eh?”, he teases you.

You shrug playfully before saying:

“What can I do? I am a Taurus, you know it!”

He rolls his eyes, laughing loud again at your remarks—and that sound has always made your heart race, hasn’t it?

“Not with that astrology nonsense again!”

You slap his arm playfully before joining him in chuckles.

“Always with that astrology nonsense, silly.”

It is not until pizza is brought to you that the serious conversation is finally there.

“So what happened, Hayden?”, you ask him softly.

He sighs heavily, avoiding your gaze. He is silent, but you are patient, giving some time, for which he appreciates it.

“How often do we fall for the idea our minds make of the person?”, says he, sounding frustrated. “Not rarely we come to romantic ideas of marriage that break before the crude reality, you know? It’s not just about being different, Y/N, it’s… the commitment, I suppose, in making everything right. Turns out we had very different ideas of making it right.”

“I’m sorry, Hay. I really am”, you speak gently, taking his hand to yours, realizing how broken he is makes your heart sensitive to his pain.

He appreciates it, but when feeling your skin against him, Hayden is remembered the days before he met Rachel. The way he made you smile, the jokes that brought him to laughters. How easily it was to be around you, how you softened him. He, who was never a sentimental man, hugged you more times than he realized.

But Hayden sweeps away such memories.

“I am too. But I am fine now”, he shrugs. “I mean, not entirely recovered, but better than being broken.”

“Take your time, it’s the best you can do. How long has it been going on?”

Hayden hesitates but says:

“Six months.”

Your eyes go wide and your voice comes louder than expected:

“YOU HAVE GONE THROUGH A DIVORCE SIX MONTHS AGO?”

At least he has the decency to blush.

“Hayden! How could you keep me in secret for such a long time?!”

You’d remove his hand but Hayden doesn’t let you to. Pulling you to his side, he says, almost in a tone of desperation:

“I thought I could handle this by myself”, he explains. “I really didn’t want to bother you…”

Perhaps it’s the wine, but your tongue runs loose with words that have long been choked in your throat.

“And what am I to you? A second option, a plan B that didn’t work out? You’ve kicked me out of your life, Hayden. You’ve never called me to ask me if I was doing ok!”

He gives you a painful look that makes you regret instantly of what you said. You’d think he let go of you and a fight would come—this happened once when both of you were drunk, though by then you were both silly and immature.

“I’ve got a war in my mind for a long while”, he exclaims, holding your wrist and he pulls you even closer to him. “I was fucking stupid, I screwed it, I know. But never would I kick you out of my heart, Y/N! And I… I’m sorry I was fucking blinded by my pain. But only because I feared to hurt you.”

You await for his burst to end, very familiar with his intensity—but when his blue eyes search for yours, your soul is denuded.

Oh fuck.

“I stepped away because he was a douchebag”, he proceeds. “You deserved better than such a man, Y/N. I’ve heard of his doings but I couldn’t reach you out when… when I was in the mid of a crisis myself.”

“You’ve always been too shut in yourself to let others in”, you sigh. “But what relation is there with the fact I was in a relationship?”

“You deserved better”, he says with greeted teeth, holding your face with his hands, both of you barely noticing how your bodies have been dancing dangerously close to each other. “You are still slow after all this time?”

You are shocked, perplexed by his words. You freeze. Hayden smiles slowly at your reaction.

“I feel it everywhere, nothing scares me anymore. I won’t let you go. Now now, not ever. Fuck, I married the wrong person. Heaven has always been my favourite place on Earth when I was with you.”

“You have always been the best”, you mumble incoherently.

Just like that your lips clash against his. In between fervent kisses, where he pulls you to his lap, no reason is admitted. Not anymore.

“I’ve missed you, Y/Nickname”, he groans against your lips. “Like the sun misses the moon.”

“Always the romantic”, you chew his bottom lip as your hands run over his hair, pulling it gently. “Don’t want your memories anymore. Fuck, Christensen, you took so long.”

“This is not a game, I swear”, he breaks the kiss to pursuit your skin, his tongue already on your neck as his hands hold your hips, making you feel his rigid pants.

“Oh Lord. My worst sin is to never be able to refuse you anything”, you hate how wine makes you speak your mind.

Raising his head to watch you intently, he messes with your hair before holding your chin, drawing you closer to him.

Oh that intensity that involves one to the other!

“Then make me a sinner too for giving you all that you deserve.”

You crawl over him, you know you do, when your tongue pursuits his, one pairs the other rhythmically, perfectly. And then he lies you there on the couch, hands already working to remove your pants.

His eyes are set on yours like that of a hunter about to capture his prey. He knows you are on fire and that he is the gasoline. You lean partly to remove his shirt, hands all over him. You gasp when feeling his muscles under your touch and you want more, but…

“Patience, Y/Nickname”, his voice is husky and domineering when laying you down again.

“Yes, Master”, you giggle softly, in such a state that makes you both smile to the other.

And just like that his hands find way to your thighs, gently parting before inserting one right there in your feminine parts, not really taking away your panties for such.

“Oh, God!” You moan sensually, enjoying his eyes on you as he works wonderfully on you. “This is better than I thought!”

“Is it?”, he groans softly in your ear. “How long have you been thinking about it, dear one?”

“For a long while! God knows how much…”, another moan breaks you, earning him a smirk. “Hayden…”

“Yeah?”

“I fucked him thinking about you”, you admit.

His eyes dart, his body shakes lightly with desire. Slowly moving on top of you, his moves increase intently, watching you with desire.

“Damned be you for never speaking your thoughts to me”, he lifts your blouse gently but you help him removing it. As he starts to kiss your neck down to your chest, your legs begin to get heavy at his tenderness. “You should have spoken it to me…”

“Never had I the courage to do so”, you moan, enjoying having his hand over your neck lightly as he bites down your bra, slowly removing it with his mouth.

“For you should. It would have spared us some time. I fucked her thinking of you too”, he admits it drunkly before burying his lips to your nipple, much to your delight.

Hayden ruins you and it’s better than you could have thought. You want him to yourself, to make him unspeakable things but it’s difficult to do or say anything when his lips are so occupied with each nipple, twirling his tongue around it, sucking and biting it.

The sounds in his living room go louder each time. You are brought to heaven, and only then you take control of yourself again.

“Hayden…”, you barely speak when he finishes with you.

You both are a puddle of mess when you, nude, sit over his lap. You share a drunk look, one filled with the darkest desires for so long muffled, now brought to light.

“Yes, babe?” He kisses your shoulders, groaning as you rub yourself against his hardness. “Will you forgive me for such a behavior?”

His words are barely heard when his head is thrown back because your skillful hands find way to his pants and remove it so soon.

You glance at his manhood, impressed by how it is when it’s this hard under your touch.

“You don’t deserve forgiveness”, you giggle softly as you start rubbing it, enjoying to feel the drip of it. “You should be punished.”

He holds back a gasp at your words. Now eyeing you, interested in your upcoming moves. And when you slide to your knees…

“Babe…”

“Yeah?”

One glance. Unspoken words fill the air. And you take with his mouth at long last, not stopping until you have it all down your throat.

“For God’s sake!”, he gasps. “I can’t wait any longer to have you with me!”

All gentleness is left aside when he helps you settle on his lips and he slides inside you. To feel him throbbing like this, going so hard in you makes you arch your back.

“This feels so good!”

His hands move down your back as his lips pursuit your skin, licking and taking every bit of you—though he does know how much you enjoy when he takes his time around your nipples, which he does graciously.

But it’s not until his eyes meet yours, sealing your lips as much as you seal your bodies together, that all is at long last truly consumed….

***

• Nowadays

In a sober state, everything is better appreciated. Hayden watches as you gleefully prepare breakfast. There is nothing but genuinely love in his eyes.

What had started as an explosion of sentiments for so long kept in secret has now flown to what should have always been: a genuine relationship. From friends to lovers. From lovers to something better.

He smiles, not now missing the lateness of his realization that you have always been the love of his life. He stands and moves to behind you, holding you close and smelling your scent as you prepare him some eggs.

“What? I’ve been sensing your eyes over me”, you giggle like a little girl. “Don’t get me weak again, Christensen. This is so not you.”

He turns you at him and holds your face between his hands.

“I love you, Y/Nickname.”

Hayden smiles wide when seeing a blush painting your cheeks. And he beams when you tell him the same.

“I love you too, H. Though I fear I love you more.”

“That is not true”, he protests in between laughters.

But before you fall into that old cliche you and him enjoy in secret intimacy, breakfast is ready. As you two enjoy that morning moment, it doesn’t strike as how many years have passed before you two achieved it at long last.

“I have news to tell”, says Hayden with a bright smile on his lips.

You rest your chin over your hands and say:

“Well? Tell me at once.”

He appreciates all the love that comes from you. The way you look at him, how genuinely you listen and help him in every moment, how kind you always are, how sincere you speak your heart out. So many virtues and even your flaws he appreciates.

There is so much love between the lines and out of them too.

“I was asked to play Anakin Skywalker again.”

And how fantastic you are as his soon to be wife when you jump in his arms excited with his news.

“That is awesome, my darling! I’m so happy for you!”

“A better start than I could have thought”, he admits, pulling you to sit on his lap.

“You deserve it all”, you brush your lips against his. “I love you, my heart.”

“I love you, my soul”, he whispers back.

And this is the ending you deserve.

***

•Epilogue…

When you show up dressed in red—from your full lips to your body—Hayden feels something rise in his chest.

“My God, you look gorgeous, Y/N…”, so he says mischievously when you show up after leaving him waiting for 30 minutes. “It was worth the time…”

You giggle, blushing lightly after all this time. Your hair is loose wavily, put on side as you wear the necklace and earrings Hayden gifted you in your birthday.

“Don’t be silly. Have they arrived yet?”

The occasion is to celebrate Hayden and Ewan’s series “Kenobi”. Hayden’s aforementioned friend said he was going to pick them up in a limo so they’d go all together.

“They are about to… which leaves us a few minutes”, he places right behind you, holding your waist tightly.

“Hayden… It took me some time to get properly dressed. Besides, I…” you get lost at your words when he starts kissing your neck and his hands move up and down your back.

“What are you trying to say?”

Hayden smirks, enjoying the effect he has over you. It’s been some good years since you got together, but even now he manages to get you speechless.

“I…”

Your mind goes blank when he turns you to the mirror and see the naughty look that rests in those blue eyes. His hands move to your breasts, playing with your nipples before slowly exposing them.

“Hayden… they are….” You moan softly, struggling to keep your composure.

He turns you now against the wall of your bathroom, mouth dropping to your full chest all the whilst his hands move to your thighs.

“Hmm”, he sings softly, humming against your skin. “Hot as hell, wife.”

You try not to fall from your heels.

“Hayden!” You cry out when his fingers find all the way to you.

“You get your man on knees every single time. Getting me overzealous, uh?”, he smirks when going to his knees. “All wet for me, honey? Let me taste you thus…”

You are almost ruined as he does so, his tongue in you the way you want him to. You forget yourself, forget the reason why this expensive gown you bought three months ago was quite difficult to dress—precisely why you’d want to tell him by the end of the night.

You forget your state, you forget you should be checking time before your friends arrive. There is nothing to remember as he fucks you with his tongue deliciously until you are about to come undone…

Just like that he lifts your thighs and before you complain, he slides his manhood within, fucking you slowly and pleasantly.

“Oh God!” You scream but he has to quiet your sounds, especially because… the bell is rang.

“That was quick”, he manages to say breathlessly as he rushes to keep himself recomposed.

You giggle, suddenly shy as you do the same.

“Indeed…”

Hayden finds you adorable and peppers kisses around your face.

“They can wait a little. I thought you wanted to say something… you know, before…”

You two share a giggle and he smiles when you bury your face in his shoulder.

“I… I am pregnant, H.”

He hugs you closer. What a night, what a life with you is. Hayden Christensen could not have been any happier…

[athenaluciscaelum]

//Minor do not interact//

Pairing: DMC5 Dante x Fem!Reader

Rated: Mature

Words: 3758 word

Warning: mature, patriarchy, misogyny, purity culture, abusive parents, slut shaming, racism, oral

Disclaimer:

This is specially for my all South Asian girl, a little representation, this fiction is what motivated me to start the blog. So I hope everybody enjoys it. I know a similar South Asian tradition can have different variations but I am writing from one we follow, and my own experiences. I do not condone purity culture or parents abusing their children, but sadly it's common, and very true representation. Even within South Asia, women have different degrees of independence or co-independence. The amount of abuse or none they face within household or within patriarchal setup is varying. After all, even gender within is intersectionality itself. This writing stems from my own personal experience and is by no means a representation of the whole of South Asia, but the majority. Me and @altissia-09 brain stormed this idea.

Feel free to leave comments.

LET'S ROCK!

Traditions

You were sitting on the couch near the frosted window of Devil May Cry looking out, not much to see. It was a sunny day, the streets were isolated. It was the start of fall. You could feel a little chill air, but it was pleasant. You always like fall and winter. Your eyes fell on a letter in your hand and following up to your ring finger, a platinum ring with a red ruby stone set in between, a perfect wedding ring, just as you wanted. You thought about Dante, he was out on a mission, and you took a leave from your work today. He was supposed to be back to discuss the wedding. You trusted him and knew he would be back as soon as possible. After all, you were both so excited, you thought Dante would play cool and act like he couldn't care for details. But oh, you were so wrong. He wanted to be part of everything. It was his wedding as well, the only one he intended to do. So he could not miss a thing.

You two were not planning anything grand, it would be just the DMC crew-Nero, Kyrie, Lady, Trish, Nico, Vergil, Morrison, Patty and Enzo. From your side, no one in your family will accept a white man and someone not from the same faith as your family. They are not aware of the Devil Heritage yet, nor do they need to be aware. But anyway, here you are, you were disowned a long time ago when you told them upfront what a shit purity culture was, and you will date Dante because you love him. Marriage can be damned. They totally berated you for how shameless you were, abused you, and were about to raise their hand. But Dante had enough, he snapped. You held his hand tight to ease him. As soon as things got physical, before your mother's hand can land on your cheek, he held your mother's hand to stop her, his teeth gritted and clenched, "That's it. Enough. You don't deserve a daughter like her!" Your mother and family started to insult you like they always do, reminding you of every penny they spent on you and how selfish you were, taking everything and leaving as soon as you find a man.

They curse you that you will know the same pain they feel from your children. But you will not stop loving your children if they are not everything you want them to be. You sighed. You still remember when you were with Dante on your first date. It was early on and Dante was quite broke back then. You were no better in the last semester of your college doing a shitty paid internship. So you two pool in all the money, you both scavenged enough to go on a pizza date. Dante wasn't sure, but you said it's a date enough as long as he is there. You two can walk and talk till your heart's content. Pizza was a tasty addition. As you two were in Pizzeria enjoying Chicken Tikka Pizza, Dante was not sure what atrocity this was, but he tried as long as it had no olives. As you two were talking,your phone rang when you saw 'Maa' on caller ID, all color drained out of your face. You answer so scared and you lied to your mother that you were out with a friend. Dante was surprised you were young but a grown woman. So naturally, as a concerned and loving boyfriend, he asked about your family, at first it wasn't important to him, but now, he can't just sweep this under the carpet, first date be damned. You answered truthfully, you never liked lying anyway, you mentioned how your family treated you. You wanted to be clear about what he was getting himself into secret dates, no night stays, sex is off table for now, he can't call you anytime, and dates would be rare and away from the city. Dante didn't object, but he asked, "So your family do not love you?" You shook your head and answered sincerely, "They do. As long as I do everything they say. Little divergence and I will be unworthy of love, right?" Words hung heavy in the air. He just held your hand tight. The parental love Dante knew was acceptance, no matter what Dante or Vergil used to do, Eva always used to love them unconditionally, and he was sure, she would have even know. Dante didn't have much love in his life, but he was once loved dearly and knew what love is, especially parental ove. You were a perfect little girl back then for your family, but no more, you never dated, even if you were in your early twenties. Your family would not like it, you were never supposed to date. You were supposed to be 'pure' and get married to a guy they choose from the right family and faith, so the chain of your command can be given into his hands. You felt like a dog on a leash. But not anymore, you broke the rules, you were no longer a good girl, you were only you and Dante accepted it. And it only fueled your courage. So, after a few months of dating in secrecy and Dante climbing up to your window to sneak into your room at night, cuddling. While you tried your best to keep your voice down as he was balls deep in your sweet pussy. It was tough, but for him, sure.

After a few months, your family brought up the topic of marriage again, this time seriously. You sighed as they tried to show you pictures of more boys or men who were so pitiful that they couldn't find a woman themselves, or they had strings of flings and what not, but now they wanted a 'pure' girl to settle down. This was very common, and you knew how their pathetic mentality worked. You held your head in your hand as your mama was blabbering about tons of guys she found on a matrimonial site and talked to. She went on about how religious they were, how good they earned and whatever she found best for you. You sighed, "No!" Your mama frowned, "No? It's the right time, Y/N, you should get married as soon as possible and settle down. You aren't getting any younger." You can't take it anymore and went to your room. Your mama followed, "You will get married! You like it or not, young lady, and don't you dare to close the door!" You were in tears from anger, you could never speak in such situations, just cry, yet you spoke, "You can't make a decision for my life!" Your mama glared at you, her hand came hard and squeezed your cheeks with bruising grip, she spoke hard, "Don't you dare to talk back! I made you! I will do whatever the fuck I want with you! Marry you off anybody I like, or kill you!" You held your knees close to your chest as you cried. You had enough. You escaped from the window and went to Devil May Cry agency, it was 01:00A.M. Dante was surprised.

Dante held your shoulders, "What are you doing here? You know it's not safe, you were out at this time? You know, some Demon or human could have attacked you." He saw fingerprints and red marks left by how painfully your cheeks were held. His eyes darkened, you felt him lose control, his eyes demonic and his body morphed scaly for a second, he spoke in a cold voice, "Who did this...?" You looked down, "Maa...they want me to get married to guy they choose." Dante frowned, "No way in hell, I am letting you marry a loser." You held his hand, "Let's go...?" Dante frowned, "Right to give your mother, a piece of mind!" You shook your head, "No.... I am doing nothing wrong, I love you, I won't hide it anymore, we are going to face them." Dante chuckled, "Do I need to look presentable?" You smiled, "You are perfect."

You reached your home at 02:00AM. Your mama and papa were shocked as they saw you and Dante at the front door, holding hands. You declared, "I love Dante, we have been dating and we have made love. I don't care if you accept it or not, but if you do, it is all I ask you."

Your mama saw you red, she was ready to physically assault you, but Dante pulled you behind him. He spoke disappointed, "Not so fast, lady, you don't get to hit my girlfriend." Your mama shouted, "Your girlfriend?! She is my daughter! You tricked my little flower in your bed. You seduced her!" You were quick to cut your mother, you spoke as a matter of fact, "He did no such thing, Ma, I'm an adult, Dante loves, and I love him, and I gave myself to him out of my own free will." Your mama looked at you, she spoke condescending, "Shut up! Idiot! I never knew I raised a whore!" Dante shouted," "Enough!" You looked at your papa, and spoke softly, your voice broken, "Papa?" Your papa sighed, "I am so disappointed in you, I wish I had never had you. But.... let's go in and talk."

You were all seated on the couch facing each other. Your father goes through questions. He sighed, "So Mister Dante, how about you tell me about yourself." Dante was angry but stayed calm for you. He answered holding your hand, "I am Dante, I live on the east side of Capulet City, I run an agency called Devil May Cry, and let's say it's a.......pest control job." Your father nodded, "What faith do you follow?" Dante relaxed on his spot, "None, sir, I have no problem with whatever faith, Y/N choose to follow or practice. She is the kindest person I know." Your father was lost in thought and spoke after a while, "Will you convert?" You snapped, "Papa! Stop it!" Dante stood up, he was calm, "The answer is no. Your daughter helped me accept myself for who I am, so I have no intention of changing." You smiled, you were proud of him. Your mother spoke, "Y/N, can't you see, he is not serious! He is just using you as a toy who is young and innocent. As soon as he is bored, or you are knocked up, he will leave you! You know these people have no respect for relations or marriage. It's all fun and game to them" Dante sighed, "Seriously?" You were cringing so hard internally, "Seriously, maa, this is also racism, you know?"

Before your ma and papa could protest more, Dante took your hand to leave, your father spoke in a spiteful voice, "A step out of the threshold, and you are disowned, him or us?" You sighed, "Well, at least for him, I am enough. I will never be enough for you." You crossed that threshold knowing you would never come back, it was so nice to feel all the chains around you drop, though the pain of losing your parents was there, your freedom helped ease it. Your parents were shouting as you two left, "Just wait! He will leave you in no time!"

You fall asleep with the letter in your hand, the letter containing documents that you are legally disowned and will not get a single penny from them, like you cared. Dante comes back setting Rebellion and his dual pistol back in their place. He came to you and kissed your forehead, you smiled as you opened your heavy eyes, you spoke softly, "Dante?" Dante smiled, "Sorry, I am late, but don't worry, Trish and Lady are on the way. We will discuss everything. And you can go bridal shopping with girls. Patty will join you as well. Be prepared to be drained."

You just gave him a weak smile, he looked at the letter in your hand, he asked, "What's that?" You shrugged and lied, "More bills..." He shook his head, "Nope! Not in the mood for those. Today, I will spoil my girl! I will go get showered. And we can get started." You nodded and smiled.

After everyone was at the Devil May Cry agency,it was decided you will hold your wedding near the Lake in the forest, since it is a private affair, Vergil will be your officiator, Nero will be Dante's best man, Trish, Patty and Lady will be your bride's maid with one of your close friends, Natasha being your maid of honor. You asked Morrison to walk you down the aisle. He got emotional and agreed. Kyrie was more than happy to take care of everything in Devil May Cry when you two arrived as a married couple. Dante called Lucia, but she didn't answer. You were aware of her feelings for Dante, you thought it was best not to press her. Matier was happy, she sent her blessings and regards. Matier laughed on the call, "So this was your reason, Dante?"

You and the girls were ready for bridal shopping. Patty asked, "You will look great in a white dress! You will wear white, right?" You answered a little shy, "I don't want to wear a white dress, we traditionally wear red, Dante,I want to wear a red dress. I don't hope to find a lehenga or saree here, so dress will do." Dante smiled, "I love red!" You giggled. You looked at him, you spoke a little unsure, "There is another tradition I want to add, everyone." All eyes were on you. You were nervous, "Well, it's called Henna Night or Mehendi, a night before marriage, all girls apply henna on their hand and especially Bride. They say the deeper the stain of henna, the deeper the love. And also in henna design in brides' hands. You hide the name of the groom somewhere in the design." Trish had thirst for knowledge and asked, "Why is the name of the groom hidden?" You blushed, "Well, that will be a task for Dante. Nico thought and spoke loud, "I heard the stain is dark, because you are actually horny and body heat decides the temperature of the stain." You were red. Dante was grinning like an idiot, he spoke proud, "Awww babe, I will make sure you get the deepest stain."

On the night before the wedding, your friend Natasha came to pick you and the other girls to her house. Dante protested, "Hey! Not fair!" Natasha smiled, "Come and get her tomorrow." As you and the girls were in the car, Natasha blew all the typical Bollywood marriage songs in her car music system on drive to her home, you were not much of party person. But it was fun how much everyone was enjoying it. At her home, the whole living room was decorated with mattresses on the floor and white sheets on them, there were pillows everywhere. Marigold flower strings decorate the wall. Henna cone on a silver plate. Trish, Lady, Nico, Kyrie, and Patty enjoyed the night of applying henna on each other, their designs were 'unique', you could not stop yourself from laughing as they danced to Bollywood songs and were trying to make sense out of saree. They tried tons of traditional sweets. You were sitting quietly, your hand lay flat on the pillow and Natasha was applying henna to your hand. Traditionally, it was supposed to be till elbow but you both decided to cut it short. You saw Dante's name hidden on your left hand's index finger. You smiled at Natasha, "He won't be able to find it." Natasha laughed, "Good, then he is getting no action on his wedding night. Now let it dry, it's still wet, but the longer it stays the better the color. I will apply some lemon juice and sugar on it, so it doesn't dry and shed off quickly." You nodded as Natasha did just that. You were sleeping alone in the guest room, hands above your head so they don't touch anything and ruin the henna. You couldn't sleep, you were so excited. You felt something in your room, before you could sit up, a hand on your mouth kept you down, it was beautiful icy blue eyes and the smile you loved most. He puts a finger on your lips, "Shh.... it's me....angel .." Your eyes were wide, you whispered "Dante....why are you here...? It's not good." Dante chuckled, "You are marrying a devil, don't tell me you are afraid of bad luck." You giggled, "But why are you here?" Dante was above you, he smiled, loving how your hands were above your head, and you were at his mercy. His fingers pulling the string at the back of your neck, he answered, "Because this reminds me of the time when I used to sneak into your room and....as a loving husband..." You corrected, "Fiancé." Dante puts a finger on your lips, "Shh....husband. I have to make sure my love is a wonder, and you get the deepest red stain, my angel."

You blushed, "Dante..." Dante chuckled, "Don't move, we don't want this beautiful design ruined. Stay still and quiet for me?" You nodded.. Dante leaned to kiss your lips, you kissed him back with equal fervor, it was torture that you couldn't touch him. He pulled off your dress and fondled your breasts. A hand keeps massaging and squeezing your breasts, your eyes squeeze shut, as his head trails down from your breast, to your stomach, to your lower abdomen with trails of kisses. He reaches your core and places a kiss from your vulva to your clit through your panties. He parts your legs with one hand. As both his hands come down to spread you and kiss each side of your inner thighs, until he decides it was enough tease. And, he settled his head between your legs, taking off your panties, hooking his arms on each of your thighs, he eats you like a starved man. He started with a soft little kiss on your nub, then his tongue flat, licking broad stripes from your vulva to your clit, sucking on your nub till you were a whimpering mess, your legs trembling. He parted your folds and puts his thick middle finger in, screwing you in and out while sucking on your clit, lapping all your juice. You were a mess, biting your lower lip, your head nuzzling your pillow to keep quiet. He keeps altering between using his finger and sucking on you. Your legs are shaking, a tell-tale sign of your orgasm, but he got a build it more, leaving you all hot and bothered for long. He pulls away and you whine. Dante smirks, his thumb on your cheeks, "Aww... My angel wants to cum?" You nodded eagerly, all flustered and panting, while making sure your henna design isn't ruined. You whispered, "Dante please." Dante rubs circles with his thumb on your clit building you up and stopping as soon as he realizes you are about to come. You were a whining mess, "Dante, please." Dante kissed a side of your face and close to your mouth, "Please what? Babe." You whine, "Let me cum ....." Dante nods, "As you wish." He puts a finger into your throbbing pussy and slides it in and out, adding another, you buck your hips, and he chuckles, how eager his angel is. He picks a pace a little to build your orgasm, but as you were so close, he pulls away, "Not so fast, sweetheart." You cry silently and thrash your leg, he smiles, leaning down to kiss your sensitive spot on your neck, helping you ease and making you shiver, as he keeps kissing your neck, sucking it hard to leave marks. You cry, "Let me cum ... Dante" Dante sighs and pulls himself down to nuzzle your pussy, his stubble grazing your delicate pussy..he licks it and sucks on it. He fucks you with his tongue in and out till your body trembles, and you cum in his mouth, he laps it all, licking it clean. You bit your lips hard to not scream. He puts your legs back down as your whole body trembles. He kisses your cheeks and pulls away to stand up. He smiles, "This should make sure you get a deep stain." You were too tired to say anything, you fell asleep in no time, Dante cleaned you to put your dress back on, covered you with sheets, your henna was dry enough to let your arms rest beside you. He kisses your forehead as he leaves, jumping from the window.

The transition from morning to the Lake was smooth. You were wearing the red dress you chose. It was perfect. Dante made sure you got the dress of your dreams. Your Henna design was beautiful. It was the deepest shade of red. A red veil covers your beautiful face. Morrison walked you down the aisle where Dante was waiting in a black tuxedo with red tie, you smiled through a veil, Vergil spoke in an authoritative voice, "Sit down, everyone. Tonight, we are here to the satanic matrimony of sun and a fool." You giggled, Dante just rolled his eyes. Vergil smirked, he continued, "there is no such thing as anyone objecting to this wedding, so do not even try, or else..." Everyone felt the cold glare. You smiled at Dante. Vergil looked at everyone, "Hmpp... exchange your vows." You spoke, "I vow to always make you smile, to accept you for who you are, to love you through the happiest and the saddest times, I vow to understand you always, to be there for you. To be there when you need me and make you the happiest man ever. As you made me the luckiest woman in the world. I will never stop trying," You were emotional and your voice breaking, Dante was serious..he took your hand in his. "Y/N, I vow to protect you, take care of you, try to give you everything I can, to love you even if we have our differences and respect you for who you are. To make you happy, as you make me the happiest man in the world."

Vergil nodded smiling, "Dante, do you take Y/N as your wife?" Dante smiled, "I do." Vergil looked at you, "Do you take Dante as your husband? You nodded eagerly, "I do! I do! I do!" Dante smiled, Vergil tried not to smile like an idiot, "By the power vested in me. I-" Dante cuts him, "Wait-wait, we are vesting no power in you." You nodded through your veiled face, "Yeah, you go Third Reich crazy with power" Vergil clenches his teeth and spoke, "Silence!" You to snickered and were quite when Vergil glared. Vergil sighed snd spoke casually ,"You are now husband and wife. Kiss, idiots!"

Dante took off your veil to look at your beautiful face, he scooped you in his arms and kissed you deeply. You kissed him back cupping his face, everyone clapped and smiled. It was followed by a ton of music, dance, food and everyone congratulating you both. When you both came back to the agency, Kyrie decorated the whole place, Dante was carrying you bridal style, you went upstairs to your bedroom before him. It was decorated with roses, candles, and a vanilla fragrance. You sat there with your veil in the middle of bed. When Dante walked in, he was eager. He was about to take your veil off when you held out your henna-stained hand in front of him. You spoke flustered, "It has your name, find it, you can't make love to me, unless you do." Dante chuckled and smiled, "okay, I was in the mood for something else, but I do not mind earning it." Dante looked hard, he tried, he really tried, he was losing patience, "Is it in english?" You nodded. Another five minutes, he sighed, "You are messing with me, there are no names in it." You laughed, "There is!" He tried and as he about to give up, he grinned excited, "There it is!" He pointed at index finger of your left hand and you nodded. He wasted no time in taking your veil off and pinning you to bed. He was eager to take your dress off, but he felt resistance, he raised his eyebrow, you laughed. "Wedding dress are hard to take off, dummy. Now help me out of it, I don't want my wedding dress ruined. As you both took all pins out and lil stitches out of way. It took quite a while to get you out of the dress. Dante was exhausted with such delicate work of making sure everything is off and dress is intact, "Who makes such dresses!?" You laughed, "Well, it's pretty..."

That night, Dante didn't get to enjoy the fruit of his labour to say the least.

Tagged: @marshmallows-and-champagne @altissia-09

[alexologyart]

[WIP] A young Entrapta killing the Last King of the Scorpioni

Is okay to cry for what had been lost, my dear. Tomorrow is a new day, as for today the child you once were had died.

Maybe no the most happy of drawings, but I think is a good one to finish 2023.

Firts of all, I hope you all had a very happy Christmas this year, and I wish an equally Happy New Year!!

This year has been rough for me, I passed my internship with the highest grades in July, and now I am days to finish my thesis finally.

In the past months there has been very little updates from me, no art whatsoever, and I'm ashamed of say, not even commission updates for those who had been due theirs. I apologize profoundly.

At the beginning of 2023 I experienced a back injury that took months to heal, the pain was too much, and still today I feel the reminicent of it. At the same time I've been too exhausted by all the requiriments to finish this big step in my life to become a professional and academic in my field, that I negleted the one thing that brings me the most joy in my life.

I am not good balancing work and life, and this took a toll on me. For the first time in long time, that part of my life that brings joy became a burden, I indentified it as a distraction, and I turned it off completely.

This happened because I'm experiencing a big sense of dread to the prospect of what the future awaits for me, trying to search for summer jobs without avail and feeling disappointed all over, feeling depressed because I feel stuck and not growing as an adult reaching 30, there are a lot of expectations to what I could do after getting my degree, defending my thesis on March will be one of them. And this has taken all my energy and time from creating things I love, to the point I even asked myself what was the point of continuing with it.

Art is one of these things that has been with me for the longest, starting drawing when I learned to hold a pen, even before knowing how to write, but in the past six months, after spending a great time without even sketching, I was afraid I had lost this ability, as my head was on Uni, and my body felt heavy by all the stress I didn't want to even check if I could still draw.

I do, I can still draw, although slowly and always resting. My brain needs to adapt again to what it was after months of not doing so.

Creating this version of Entrapta has been a roller coaster of emotions for me, she helps me to express myself and I love thinking in new ways to draw her, I don't care she is not really an original character, but mostly the deep emotional connection I have with her while writing and drawing her story.

She is strong, she is cunning, she is fierce and intelligent. But even a woman like her has to have moment of vulnerability. And this scene, is a pinpoint moment; killing while losing something of herself, quite literally, not feeling fierce but fragile, in pain, and overwhelmed.

Is something that I have reflected a lot the past months, to realize I am entering a moment in my life I should allow me to feel and not to restrict myself from the things I love, so I will try to take my time facing the situations that scares me and as well trying not to feel overwhelmed and anxious for what is to come.

If you would like to support my artistic journey, you can do so on Patreon and Kofi! I would greatly appreciate it! wish you a Happy New Year!

[the-remaining-half]

23rd March 2024 | Saturday

Day 15 of 100 Days of Productivity 🪴

Okay. I want to break the custom today. Instead of everything that I did today, I want to talk about one of the best moments of today and probably my whole life. 🐾

I joined medschool in October 2022, scared and excited about what life had in store me. I was excited to join the clubs (specially debating).

March 2023 we get the invite for the debate society of our college and of course I jump and join the boat.

Got to know later on that our uni didn’t have much of the club culture and we were the only actively functioning club. More that that, the club had just started with us. It was the first year and we were the first members.

Nonetheless, the president was good at debating and willing to help me improve and that was all I needed. 🍄

I soon became a core founding member of the Society. The society secured a place in my heart. End of 2023, the founder president was entering internship and wanted to step down from Presidency post his current term. He urged me to stand for the elections. So I did. I am currently the Debsoc President.

Today is the 1st year anniversary of our Debsoc. I am so proud. We are going out to celebrate. ✨

I remember my senior (founder president) and myself get to emotional when we saw the logo we had designed on that cake; when we lit that golden 1 candle; when the whole debsoc sang.

The past one year was different. It was like our child and it was so difficult to keep it alive. People kept leaving, admin issues and more and more. But we never gave up. 🫧

Amongst the 50 initial members of Debsoc, 5 of us kept at it. Our club is still here. And the club is us. And we are the club. That’s why in my mind, even if it’s just the 5 of us, we already have the club. To me we are the Debsoc OGs of our university…

And I am thankful. This society and these people kept me going. When I was alone and friendless and clueless and scared, they kept me looking up at the stars. I knew no matter what I went through, every Thursday of every week, I would meet these guys and they would be my people.

Debating has been so sacred and holy to me. I have fought everyone to get to where I am, to become as good as I am at debating. It was the one thing I did all by myself. And I am thankful to that young girl for not giving up. 🍁

[pttwice]

hello joon, I hope you are doing fine these days, am finally feeling less stressed with my internship documents almost being finished and all of that but your cute twice regress fics and blogs have helped me keep a positive mindset so I just wanted to say thank you. anyways am here to request a new years little twice with mommy 2yeon (or who ever u want, if we wanna spicy things up a bit) and everyone besides 2yeon regresses in the morning and wants to play all day and see the pretty fireworks at night, tho baby SMC gets scared of the loud noises still wanna see the pretty lights

get it? because its celebrate

hi chimpo :) i'm so glad that things are getting less stressful for you!! celebrate elite twice song!

celebrate

|| little!twice, cg!2yeon ||

Nayeon and Jeongyeon knew they were in for a long day when none of the members woke up with them. Jeongyeon made herself and Nayeon an extra strength coffee to get them through the day.

The last time all the members regressed for New Year's Eve was ages ago, and they were beyond hyper. Keeping track of seven littles was challenging, but they had done it before and they'd do it again.

Tzuyu was thankfully the first to wake up. Nayeon heard her calling out to one of them and brought her out into the living room. The little wasn't quite awake yet, but nothing was better than being able to wake up the rest of the way in her mommy's arms.

Nayeon wrapped her arms around her baby and sat back with her on the couch until the rest of the littles shuffled in. Momo was the last one to wake up and as soon as they had all made it out into the living room, they all started talking and playing. The volume went from zero to one hundred in less than ten minutes.

"Okay, who's ready for lunch?" Eve though they hadn't eaten breakfast, all the littles had gotten up late enough that it was lunch time.

Breakfast was a fairly easy ordeal except when it came to feeding the babies. Dahyun, Chaeyoung, and Tzuyu needed extra help to eat their food so Nayeon and Jeongyeon had to trade off between the three so they wouldn't get fussy that someone was eating more than they were.

"Mama, 'an we stay up 'nd wa' the fi'ewo'ks?" Jihyo asked with a mouth full of food and Jeongyeon playfully rolled her eyes.

"If you ask me again once you've swallowed that bite, then I'll tell you."

Jihyo nodded and finished her mouthful before asking again.

"Yeah, I wanna watch fireworks again, mama!" Sana excitedly chimed in, food all over the front of her pajama shirt.

"You can watch the fireworks, but you guys have to promise to be good today, okay?" Nayeon smiled as all of them nodded and agreed in unison.

Once they finished with breakfast, it was time for a bath for all of them since Sana, Momo, and Chaeyoung had most of their breakfast on their shirts.

While Jeongyeon ran a bath for the messiest three, Nayeon kept a close eye on the other three while they colored. Jihyo and Mina shared a page while Dahyun and Tzuyu tried sharing a crayon.

Nayeon laughed and took a few pictures of the two littles passing the crayon back and forth. It may have taken them the entirety of the three littles taking a bath to finish the head of the bear they were coloring, but they were having fun.

"Okay, who's next for bath time?" Jeongyeon came out with the three clean littles who jumped up onto the couch beside their mommy. Jihyo and Mina looked at each other and shook their heads while they pointed at Dahyun and Tzuyu, still lost in their one crayon world.

Jeongyeon opted to leave the older two to color some more and picked the two babies up. Their bath was much quicker since they didn't have food all over themselves, so she was out in record time to get the last two clean.

//

Even though they were letting the littles stay up to watch the fireworks, Nayeon and Jeongyeon knew that they couldn't just let them sit in the house and do nothing all day. So, they rallied all the littles, making sure they had everything they would need, and took them to the park.

Tzuyu quietly sat with her mamas and played with a rock and a few twigs she found on the ground while the others ran around on the playground.

Every few minutes, Tzuyu would get up and hand her mamas a rock or a little acorn cap that she found. They'd thank her and she'd go back to playing, just listening to the other littles yelling and playing on the playground in the park.

Momo, Sana, and Mina were in their own little world pretending they were princesses while Jihyo was trying to get the other two babies to go down the slide.

"Hyun, you hafta put your legs out." Jihyo giggled and straightened Dahyun's legs out so she could actually go down the slide. The little's happy screams could be heard throughout the park as Jihyo helped the babies go down the slide over and over again.

By the time they were done at the park, the littles were ready for a small snack and then lunch. That meant that Nayeon and Jeongyeon had a few minutes of peace and quiet to themselves before the real chaos started.

//

Chips, drinks, popcorn, and other snacks were set out and ready for the littles. Nayeon was playing with the babies while Jeongyeon kept the other littles entertained by some pretty bad magic tricks.

“Pick a card, Sana. Any card and don’t tell me what it is before you put it back in.” Jeongyeon fanned out the cards she had in her hand.

Sana excitedly took a card and showed it to the other littles before she put the card back in the deck. Jeongyeon shuffled the cards again before picking the card on the top. She held it close to her chest to build suspense before she flipped it around.

“Is this your card?”

The littles burst into a fit of giggles and shook their heads. “No, mama! That’s not Sana’s card!” Momo took the card and set it in her lap.

As Jeongyeon pulled out card after card, the littles kept laughing until finally, their mama picked Sana’s card.

“Dat one, mama!” Sana happily took her card. She held onto it for a while, not wanting to give up the ‘special’ card her mama gave her.

To pass more time and to save the littles from any more of Jeongyeon’s bad magic tricks, they had a dance party.

The way the littles danced was a little odd, but they had no problems expressing themselves. Even the babies got into it while Nayeon helped them move around.

“Mommy! ‘ook TV!” Chaeyoung excitedly pointed to the TV from her spot on the floor and looked ip at her mommy.

There were only two more minutes left until they set the fireworks off. Remembering the chaos of years back when all the littles regressed on New Year’s Eve, Nayeon quickly ran to get ear protection from her room. She put the earmuffs over all the babies ears so they could watch the fireworks without getting scared.

As the big clock in the corner of the TV started to count down, the littles excitedly jumped up and down.

“10, 9, 8, 7…” They all counted together and Sana clung to her mama’s hand, practically vibrating with excitement.

“1! Happy New Year!”

The fireworks display was nothing short of stunning. All the different colors and shapes that exploded in the night sky over the river was beautiful.

Plenty of oohs and ahhs came from the littles as well as Nayeon and Jeongyeon as they watched in awe. They managed to stay up for the entire fireworks show with the babies sitting on their laps and the other littles huddled close to them.

The year wasn’t the easiest, but it was filled with good memories and fun. They were all eager to see what the new year had for them and they were excited to welcome it.

Happy New Year! I hope you had a good 2023 and I hope 2024 is better! :)

[sharah-04]

(Week 1 of doing my Internship at Cathay❤️)

January 10, 2024

It was my first day doing my internship at Cathay. We were waiting in the office to start our shift. I was so nervous at the same time scared because I do not have any idea what we would do and how to works the kiosk. But big thanks to our seniors that they guided us and help us. I really enjoyed doing my placement, we encountered a lot of passengers that speaks only Chinese but my colleagues and I figured out to solve the problem. That day, it wasn’t so busy so it kinda easy for us in our first day and my shift is a day flight. The stuff are very kind and very approachable to us, they are not hesitating to help so we learned a lot of them. We also got to ‘chit chat’ with our seniors😄. I am just so happy and thankful for this kind of opportunity.

January 12, 2024

Second day, I worked night shift on this day. It was super busy because the flight delayed due to snow storming. It was so hard to get in to the airport because the road that time was heavy snow. I thought I will be late that time but I make it on time and the stuff said to us that take it slow and take our time. We were in the office waiting for the aircraft to land we were kinda nervous😅 but thankfully the aircraft landed safely. There are so many passengers on that day. I am assigned in the kiosk help the passenger to get their bag tags and boarding pass and make sure that the line is even with the assistant line and the bag drop line, so it would be easier for them and also for the agents. It was kinda fun doing the bag tags, I am enjoying it although at first It is kinda confusing but I am getting in to it. That’s all for day two!

January 13, 2024

Last day for Week 1, I was so tired on this day because I just finished my other job and went straight to the airport. But when I get there, I was so excites and happy because I worked with my friends every Saturday is the best shift for me😄. Same routine, I am working in the kiosk helping the passenger to get their tags and boarding pass and I am so happy because I felt like I improved doing the tags unlike day 1 that I was so slow while doing it😭😅. To wrap up my Week 1 at Cathay, it was so much fun, but I am more enjoying working at night than day flight because I get bored when it’s day flight because it was not busy and we were just standing at the kiosk, unlike night flight there are many passengers that we approached and help them and I really like to move a lot. That’s for my blog today!

[lunanattumbkr]

day in the life:

monday !!

at home; right now i’m just waiting on my mom to be done getting ready. my outfit is really cute today !! i have a pink shirt, navy skirt, white socks, and doc martins. my mom bought me a fidget ring yesterday and it honestly has helped a lot since then. i have costume design, acting 1, algebra, and voice & movement today. honestly my only class that will probably be an issue is voice and movement cause i’m wearing a skirt… i’m sure it’ll be okay. maybe i should bring pants lol. i also got a new phone case !! it’s so cute i love it, it has a shark on it !! something abt me is i love sharks with my entire heart. they are my favorite animal ever ever ever !! i’m gonna try to get a marine biology internship/college credit this summer. although i do want to be an actress my “fall back” is marine biology. i’ve always been interested in it and it’s always been my second choice right next to acting. my school opens at 7:20 am and classes start at 8:25 and i still haven’t left my house lol. it’s 7:55. but i’m also usually always almost late but i never am because i never he caught by the teachers on tardy patrol. lucky me !! i’ve been listening to katrina stuart non stop recently, her music rlly making me feel some type of way.

in the car; finally driving to school !! i just put on lipgloss which is hello kitty, so cute. found out my first rehearsal for districts is tmr during lunch & learn.. problem is is that i have to make up a science quiz. i’m going to try and do both. okay update: turns out i cannot do both because science isn’t open tuesday for lunch & learn. that’s kinda stupid tbh. but yk teachers gotta eat too ig. so i get to go to rehearsal !! last year i didn’t even have a chance at districts because i was new so i’m very happy it’s student directed for hs, and one my my friends is directing. i can admit, he can be a little mean so i’m a little scared to get yelled at if he gets pissed or smth but i think it will be okay.

costume design; now i’m in tech “costume design”. freshmen have to take this class but it’s rlly fun. and my man is in it. i’ve alr seen him looking at me once so yay. 2 of my bsfs are in this class too and we’re making little animal stuffed animals. nothing else is rlly happening but i’ll update if something interesting happens !!

lunch & learn; LOL i was doing things ALLLL of acting 1 so i couldn’t write, sry abt that. but now i’m helping my friend lexi with her districts number. she’s doing a group MT number to “what i was born to do” from bring it on the musical. it’s so good, everyone is so talented !! lexi is such a good singer, can u believe she isn’t in MT?? she’s in PT with me, i think that’s crazy. she deserves MT !! last year i gave the guy i liked a cookie everyday so i’m gonna try and do that again today, hopefully it doesn’t come off weird..

going home; i did not fill in anything for my last period but it was okayish. i did give him the cookie and he said “ur so sweet.” so that’s nice. but now i’m starting to think he’s not interested in me or smth like that.. or he thinks i’m annoying. i’m probably overreacting but he said “it’s fine” instead of “it’s okay”. it felt passive aggressive. but also that’s just how he talks irl so i have no clue. i’m probably overreacting tbh.

that was my school day !! i’ll post some more later 🤍🤍

[straykats]

its 2am and im cryijg bc of a tiktok that isnt even related to why im crying HAHAHHA ramble below // tw: mild imp of past sui ideation

i had the interview for the internship position today and ive never wanted smth so much for my future, but i also highkey think i flunked the interview bc it took an unexpected turn and i wasnt prepped for that and then the last like 20% qas what i expected but i was so flustered hy the prev stuff that i kinda fumbled and babbled etcetc sigh

anywaus the tiktok was about college friends or smth but i got reminded of the perks of being a wallflower and then i thought about sam (emma waysons character) and her excitement when she got accepted into her first choice college and hpw everyone celebrated and how patrick got a better grade and just how everyone's lives changed but specifically sams character and how (well, this is how i remember it anyways) she went from not thinking she could get into college and not trying that much (?) to studying and wanting and doing and succeeding and then i started thinking about the whole internship thing and i am 👍👍👍👍👍 bawling at 2am

atbh like its not even about whether i get it or not. like yes i will be really sad and disappointed in myself if i dont get it (even tho im half convinced i wont bc of how the int. went lmao) but like. the dact that i even applied. the fact that i wanted something that aids with peofessional development. the fact that this was smth i did in consideration of my future and not just to satisfy a temporary want (ie. buying a book or watching smth ive been waiting for) and like. idk. like. i did not think i would ever get past 18, then i didnt think that i would grad uni (which tbh i havent bci changed courses) and i still have the occasional thought that i wont even make it to x age or past the next x year/s and like. the realisation that i ??? idk that i WANTED this that badly or just how future-orienrayed everything about it was, is just really. woah. and idk if saying 'im proud of myself' explains it, but i just.. didnt think i would ever be here? im just shocked and overwhelmed?

but bc it feels like such a pivotal/significant moment in my life, its so scary? what happens to me if i dont get it? perhaoys i chose the wrong path/should have stayed in ot? i know i should be resilient and bounce back, and i know i did pretty questionable on the interview so like i dont have high expectations, vut im still so scared about the outcome.

idk i think theres too much hoing on in my head rn and i need to sleep

[vivalavili]

“Don’t apologize. Truly, it went well.” He moves to the kitchen and puts the extra soup bowls in the fridge, only heating up half of one for himself.

The next day he takes Leia to work again and Vader excitedly takes her the second he gets there, snuggling her up while they work.

A few hours into the day, he just can’t help it. He looks up at Ruhn from his reports and asks, “Ruhn, what… happened to your father?” He asks softly. “I mean- where is he? Or did he pass away?”

“I… never had a father,” Ruhn shrugs, continuing to work.

Vader decides to leave it be for now, thinking perhaps it’s a touchy topic. But… who could ever look at such a family and leave them? Or- who could look at you and leave you? You’re stunning. Ethereal.

He’s extra kind to Ruhn that day, and it’s during this workday that he truly starts to feel paternal over the kid. Who wouldn’t?

At the end of the day, he escorts Ruhn all the way to the doors, giving the kid a pat on the shoulder. “You did wonderful today, Ruhn. I continue to be impressed. Please take care of yourself and your family tonight and have a good weekend.”

“Thank you, sir. I hope you have a good weekend too.” He makes Leia’s little hand wave at him, which just about melts his heart, before walking home.

“Mama,” he calls when he enters. “Home for the weekend.”

“Hi,” I call weakly from the bedroom, “proud of you.”

Though, it gets me worried. I can’t have Ruhn be getting sick and missing a week of his internship, and I can’t have Leia getting sick because she is so small it could kill her.

I bite my lip and debate heavily before… sending Vader a message.

Hello my Lord, know this is strange question and lot to ask but was wondering if you would take my children for night? Weekend? Am so sick with my Lu and scared they get sick.

If not/ offensive question will make up to you, so sorry.

[dearrosaceae]

I’m experiencing maybe the biggest self-doubt yet in my life

Everybody told me that the transition into working life would be difficult. It’s not a classroom anymore, we’re not nearly the same ages anymore, and there is no teacher or lecturer or mentor to guide you from A-Z anymore. You’re on your own. I get it, but maybe I underestimated the journey itself.

I did not expect it would be smooth-sailing. Far from the perfect day 1, of course. I gave myself a pep talk on it too, and predict that my anxiety will rise from my first exposure. However, shit, I think I am about to lose my composure. New place, new people and new working flow are throwing me off, apart from a plethora of other things that about to fuck me as well.

Now, I curse a lot in real life but never as much in Tumblr, so I want to apologize about the vulgar language that accompanies this post. To put into context why I’m feeling this way, is because I am internally panicking about my internship company. In less than 2 weeks, I will be interning as a multimedia journalist cum assistant producer for an Islamic business, finance and halal subsidiary news agency.

At first, I think it is the perfect place for me. As a journalist, I aspire to be a business reporter. I think I can pull off being one and believe I have the capacity to do so. Being able to work in a place that focuses on this niche is a great opportunity. Although, this ‘dream’ is still a mere bud, I am not too keen on it yet because I have only learnt about it in my recent semester.

The work culture is different that the standard, mainstream news agencies as well. At ‘M’ (I prefer to not disclose real sensitive information that can be identifiable to me in real life so let’s just call this company ‘M’), they only work during weekdays which is already a bizzare practice in the information and communication industry. Then, they also adopted to work remotely or work-from-home on Fridays, something not even most corporate companies do too.

The pay is not bad either, pretty standard for an intern. I can afford to pay rent and still have majority of the pay left for me to save and splurge. Although the transportation took a lot of time and brainwork to figure out, I might be able to manage it. See, the setting is great, right?

Here lies the issues. I am starting to feel like an imposter amongst them. I feel like I am just here to ‘play a journalist’ instead of being one while these people are real media practicioners. Am I going to be able to do what they do? Can I achieve their skills in just 5 months? Will I be able to meet their expectations? God knows.

Aside from my overthinking, my social anxiety is skyrocketing through the roof too. I went to the premise today to visit the Executive Producer whom I will be working under directly and the team. My first impression of them, they are curious of me but they are not approachable. The guys, who I believe are the cameraman cum videographers, are the hardest of the bunch so far. They wouldn’t even spare me a glance, what’s more responding to my attempt at small talk.

I got to talk with some people in the higher editorial position, they are nice thus far. I wanted to engage with the others too but many weren’t there when the Exec. Prod. introduced me since I arrived during lunch time. God I want to socialize but they.. scare me. I do not have the capacity in me to be mean and nonchalant. I’m nice, maybe clumsy, and a people-pleaser. The whole meeting experience make me feel small and humble.

They sat me at a table that belongs to another journalist, currently overseas. They said I could sit there for the time being but, I would have like to sit at my own table to be honest. I am territorial but also a socially awkward gal, imagine walking into work and seeing the table that you’re used to working on finally reunited with its owner and now you have to find a new table to sit on that could possible be anywhere. I have to adapt and shift my point of universe (this is how I describe the feeling of being anchored to a particular working spot) again. It is so much mental work.

Unfortunately, I did not raise these issues with the Exec. Prod. before I went home because this is supposed to be an independent news agencies, equipped with independent media practicioners so independent people deal with issues independently. I also know that they will not have time to help me sort out my problems that I should be discussing with a therapist instead. They are not paid enough to rewire an intern’s brain.

I tried sleeping it off, it did not work. I wanted to talk it out but I’m just feeling unloved so much by everyone today, especially my mom and close friends. They did not seem to care about my internship like this is not just a big fucking deal to me? They did not even bother to ask or chime in. I wouldn’t have done the same shit to them, that’s for sure.

I don’t know, Tumblergh. This mental wiring is tiring me out, but hey, I’m going to find a way to put a positive spin on it. As always.

[lady-of-the-upside-down]

Mom is officially retired now, and it has just sunk in how much I’m (sort of) failing in life overall.

By now, I was supposed to be done with school, supposed to be an accomplished math major with internships and maybe one or two extracurriculars under my belt. I was supposed to be making money already, like, good money. I would’ve still been writing but it wouldn’t have been my main thing from the get-go.

But none of that happened. Mistakes made as early as 2017, during senior high school (grade 11-12, sometimes taken inside a university like in my case) caused me to lose a lot of opportunities and connections that could’ve been helpful in the long run. I was kicked out of the school paper like three months into it because of a mistake I made, was also promptly ignored by my classmates, and all that caused me to spiral into a years-long slump that led to many depressive episodes. I hopped from one minor club to another (math, school church, speech) before finally graduating high school in 2019. (If you’re wondering, the mistake in question was asking a silly question during a seminar with a somewhat VIP guest…yeah it was bad, but not it-should-ruin-my-life bad)

I did spend like 2-ish years of college taking math, though I stopped because the pandemic double my already bad slump—costing me my partial scholarship that I had managed to get before. I also ended up with an academic infraction thing last 2021 because I accidentally forgot to cite sources on a philosophy exam, leading me to drop it as a minor. That infraction led me to being disqualified from applying to any exchange programs or conferences. Basically my life from 2017-2021 pretty much sucked.

What adds salt to the wound is that the reason you pick a good school here—as early as 11th grade—is connections and opportunities, both of which I mostly blew my shot in getting them. So it’s like my parents had been bleeding money for years for almost no reason.

Today I’m a creative writing major and education minor, both of which I started late 2021. I had only one internship—the one required by the school, and basically no organization officerships. Luckily enough school started to feel worth the money again because the faculty of the literature department actually care about me and support me in the stories I write. I really got to know them more during the required internship in the “creative writing center” of the university.

I ended up just trying organizations outside school because people there are least likely to know me. I struggle with applying for any part time work and internships for some reason, and I think it might be because of my odd/suspicious history of going to a major school since high school but not having any experience or affiliations. (They must think there is something Bad about me which is why I don’t have any, or the worst case scenario always floating in my head is that someone from high school works there)

On a lighter note, I do have some publications of my creative work but they don’t really pay well (or at all).

I’m struggling to finish my current project: a novel that’s my final requirement for school. It’s been such a struggle but I’m trying. I just feel so out of focus most days. I don’t even know what I’ll be doing once I graduate in February. Probably take the teacher licensure exams and just hope for the best from there.

I’m slowly picking up the pieces lately, as evidenced by some of what I said in the last paragraph, but I’m scared for the future, if these pieces will be enough. I have been so used to stability that I fear that I am taking it for granted. For now I’m hoping Dad continues to be able to do his (high-paying!) job, and that his other side-jobs like consultancy stuff will pay him well soon enough. I feel guilty for being partially the reason he has to take side-jobs to sustain our lifestyle. (my mom doesn’t want to work anymore after suffering through her old place)

Maybe at some point I will be able to actually contribute money to make their lives easier. I’m hoping my book and other future creative projects could someday earn me good money.

I just have many thoughts in my head lately and needed a place to longform vent out so I posted it here. Sorry if some parts seem incoherent, I wrote this all in one go.

[wetbananapeel]

.

I'm so so exorbitantly stressed, scared, and overwhelmed. I just started the summer term today; I'm taking 8 weeks of full-time graduate school classes. My financial aid loan dispersement is half of what it needs to be to cover my living costs and I will need cover all of my bills for the remaining summer and that means I need to start saving for that now. Which is majorly stressing me out because I don't know how I can factor a job into my schedule already with full time classes and my internship. I need a job, actually, I need to find two part time jobs so I can survive, but I keep getting rejected from everything I've been applying to. The amount I am getting back only covers 1.5 months and I need it to do 3. So I'm really really screwed because I can't find work and I need to find work in the next week or two so I can actually cover rent and the rest of my bills later on this summer. I'm extremely worried and don't lose my apartment. I'm so worried about losing my apartment. I started donating plasma to try and do something in the meantime, but my veins are banged up and my arms are sore. I've applied to three more places and hopefully I will hear back from them soon. I plan to try to apply for more jobs and do another round of plasma donations tomorrow. I'm feeling so stressed and anxious about this situation that it's been really hard to focus on anything else. I haven't been able to sleep and my body has been so tense. I don't know what I am going to do. I also somehow got a nail in my car's tire and I think the entire wheel will need to be replaced which I can't even fathom thinking about because I need to make sure I can cover rent first. I also desperately need to get asthma meds cause I am clean out, but even with insurance, I can't afford to get an appointment for my prescriptions just yet. I need to get a job first and I'm toggling a dangerous line with my health. I'm trying really hard to not trigger my asthma until I can get something sorted which means no excessive physical movements/exercise and I'm hoping for no sudden attacks. And that is also so challenging because I've been managing my stress by pushing my physical body through dancing, running, and other activities, but I get asthma every time and so I can't trust that I won't so I haven't been able to soothe stress through that method either. I just want the earth to open up and swallow me whole.

[adelaideriedesel]

A Carrot Goes Swimming - Week 3: January 26, 2024

I started off my day with making my lunch at 7:30 in the morning even though I should have done it yesterday. But that didn’t stop me from having another fabulous day at the DeBary Hall! We started today off again with story time. This week’s theme was soup (partly because the weather had been colder… but became hot again. Oh Florida!). We read three books and did a craft and of course my personal favorite: head, shoulder, knees, and toes. My rise to fame within story time was being the carrot for an activity with the kids as they had to pretend to pull the carrot out of the ground. I was the lucky one who was chosen to be the carrot. I had a green and orange scarf to make it look like a carrot and was yanked (lightly) like Gumby except I don’t have green arms. 

After we cleaned up and headed back to the office we started getting ready for the real treat of the day… going to the long-awaited pool. Tracy, the director, gave me a pair of her muck boots that were just a size too big. We brought bug spray and a walking stick to scare away snakes. That’s when it got real. We walked down the road to what looked like just another plot of land. The typical rough path was not cleared out so we went through the neighbor’s yard on the side and obviously were very respectful to their land. We began going through the woods with Tracy taking the lead and tapping fallen palm fronds to make sure there were no rattlesnakes… Great! We walk for a few minutes and pass huge trees and walk on land that has not been touched by man in a very very long time. In the thicket of the trees, there is barbed wire encasing the long-awaited pool. It is basically just a huge hole in the ground with rainwater filling it and a shed that fell into it after Hurricane Matthew. But I was still impressed. As I was surrounded by snakes and spiders and things I am equally afraid of, I imagined the DeBary family relaxing out in the sun surrounded by the wild Florida frontier. Wondering if they drank lemonade how was the walk from the mansion to the pool and if they had a favorite bathing suit. I was very lucky and grateful that Tracy and Lisa went out of their way to show me this very hidden local secret as the location is not revealed to many. We then went back through the woods and discovered grapefruit and tangerine trees and grabbed a few. If you are wondering the fruit was not taken from someone’s yard as it is county property and we (they) are county employees. We walked back to the mansion and had lunch. 

The second half of my day consisted of working on my archival project as mentioned last week. There were three bins and last week I went through one so I began going through the second. I found that there was a lot of paperwork and bags of artifacts missing. I organized them the best way I could on the spreadsheet and made note of what was missing. I am curious as to what happened to them, but it is likely that they were never put there in the first place as the excavations were done by an archaeologist and a group of young volunteers… things are bound to be missing. Once I was done I opened the third and final box. The first few bags were fine until I realized they had put the artifacts in a very cheap plastic bag and after over 25 years it has started to disintegrate. Going through these bins has given me insight on how details truly do matter. There were mistakes on the labeling of the bags and the paperwork throughout the entire thing. Being keen on double checking and ensuring tasks are done properly is so incredibly important for the preservation of materials. So that means next week I will be reorganizing all of the artifacts into new, more secure bags and I am excited to see what I find then! 

As I had my hour drive home I was thinking about my time so far at the internship and thinking overall why I am pursuing the museum field as a career. I won’t get too deep into it, maybe I’ll save that for next week, but simply put, when I was a kid all I wanted to do was time travel and see the world from every person’s eyes throughout space and time… and now this is my opportunity to do it. 

This week's pictures are of me at the pool, the pool itself, and the disintegrated bags!!

I’ll see ya next week!

Adelaide