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weebsinstash · 2 years ago

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Anyways so I found a werewolf audio book that's so bad I had to share it with you guys which is a shame because the young female narrator actually does a competent job

So our victim today is Back and Better by NighttShadee and, in the beginning, I had high hopes. It sounded like this was a revenge/glow-up story, and the opening was compelling enough. (tw for nonconsensual acts like forced kissing and like forced marking, suicide, bullying, etc)

This is a really long post, I'm mostly just describing the story and cringing and bitching lol. And when I say long like I basically go into the events that happen over 14 chapters lmao 💀 this shit got me MAAAAAD (plus an actually good recommendation at the very end for a story I actually really liked and found surprisingly high quality for the platform c:)

Amira Warner is 15 (already i am super uncomfortable with the protag being this young), being bullied by her pack and schoolmates, including the pack's alpha's son, Erebus (and you always know some bullshit will happen when they have these dumbass names). They all just call her stupid and weak and fat and a slut and just straight up a cunt, didnt expect to get audibly slapped with the c word on a youtube ad trailer but whatever, and her brother is also one of the bullies, but her parents never do anything because they're literally never home because they travel for work or take constant vacations, idk, but Amira also uhhh makes no effort to tell them what's going on. She blames them for not being around to support her which is valid but she also literally quite literally never even tells them anything whatsoever, that she's being bullied OR that her brother is involved

Like literally, she introduces herself narratively as "my name is Amira Warner, im 15, turning 16 tomorrow, im the bitch of the red river pack, I am beaten and verbally abused every single day". And of course Erebus is her main bully and it is specifically said he is the MAIN ONE WHO BEATS HER

So anyways Amira attempts suicide, and while she's bleeding out, she's discovered by three young boys who are her same age, and they basically give her emergency medical care, and adopt her into their pack since one of them is the future alpha of their pack and he can just do that (lucky her). And there's 3 of them, brothers, but only one of them matters: the future Alpha, Damon. So they're gonna adopt her into their pack right, but before that Amira is gonna head home, grab some of her things, leave a note for her parents, and then leave in the morning on her 16th birthday which is also the day she's supposed to awaken as a wolf, but also, she prays to the moon goddess that, if her mate is in this pack, the pack that abused her, thay she won't feel the pull of the mate bond, and can find a second chance mate elsewhere

Moon Goddess said bet IN THE WORST WAY POSSIBLE but we get to that later and also yeah she meets the moon goddess, just straight up converses with God multiple times, it's kind of stupid and I actually genuinely hate the moon goddess as a character. The moon goddess makes her promise she's never going to hurt herself again but then knowingly gives her a toxic mate?

So anyways it's her birthday and on top of awakening as a wolf, today is also the day she's supposed to find her mate and 🙄 of course it's Erebus. He waltzes straight up to her after smelling her scent, all "mine" but luckily, Moon Goddess is a G and Amira feels nothing from the mate bond. Absolutely nothing. So she tells him to go fuck himself straight to his face while he's bewildered she's not absolutely tripping over him like he feels for her, and she even outright tells him he is one of the biggest reasons she tried to commit suicide the day before. And after years of bullying her and telling her shit like her only purpose is to be weak and abused, suddenly this bitch is crying actual tears, "Amira no, please, no no no I'm so sorry I love you 🥺" like fucking Bakugo over here giving less than shit when it's too late like actually kys bro

She literally laughs in his fucking face when he's visibly upset she says she doesn't want to be his mate. Queen. She literally says "that sucks alpha, that is really unfortunate" and drives away from him lmaooooo (also who wrote this, we don't let 15 year olds drive??? Yeah this is technically on her 16th birthday but she wouldn't have a license, maybe a learners permit, and that still requires an adult present)

So she leaves and meets the three boys again and they adopt Amira into their pack but also their family and for the next about two years she's literally raised as their sibling, remember, they're all 15/16, right. So anyways after she's rescued, it turns out, oh boy she's a super extra duper special WHITE WOLF who is super extra strong and pretty and also fucking Aang for some reason? She deadass has elements and weather control and it's written in a very cheesy uh Wattpadesque way and also despite being a victim of bullying she kind of lowkey instantly becomes a bitch upon finding out she's a white wolf, and I don't mean "getting back at those who doubted me" I mean like "since she's one of the strongest wolves it's her job to train other wolves from her new pack and she constantly verbally berates them and calls them ladies and little girls and basically acts like a pick me the second she holds the smallest crumb of authority, talking down to grown men just because she's physically stronger than them" like its very jarring to go from her attempting suicide to, chapter 3 is an 18 month time skip where she's immediately treating other people who don't even really know her in a similarly bully-like way (btw the 18 month time skip meaning she is now 17 1/2 which is important because I think she may actually still be a minor when creepy stuff happens later...)

Anyways, theres been a lot of packs being attacked by rogues which in my opinion are the lucky ones because they're the ones who aren't in packs but it's framed as them being outcasts and criminals but when you consider how dangerously close pack dynamics veer into outright cult behavior like, it makes you rethink things. So Amira is told "since our pack is the biggest and strongest, we're sending people out to help train up the other weaker packs" and just guess where her new adoptive Alpha father is knowingly and intentionally sending her back :) and when she rightfully brings up "hey uh you're literally sending me back to the people who made me try to kill myself not even like 2 years after it happened" and he's just like "I know I'm sorry sweetie it's a real cowabummer :( but ya gotta cause, for the greater good or something, I dunno, do what I say lol, you wont be gone long" and there's a line about how she respects his rank as her alpha enough to obey him even though she doesn't want to do this and I really gotta say, it bothers me how everyone tells her it's valid she's upset but still expects her to go. They even later acknowledge, well, maybe we SHOULD HAVE just sent an Alpha from another pack instead, since this place holds trauma for you, and it's like YEAH SHE'S FUCKING 17, MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE

Just. Grr! This girl is SURROUNDED by toxicity and it only gets worse

So Amira and her brothers Damon, Jason, and Derek all go back to her old pack, and it helps since they very close sibling relationship, they all have physical play fights and wrestling that is very sibling-like but it does get kind of cheesy and stupid sometimes. Like chasing her down to tickle her because she ate all the brownies she baked herself without sharing any? Or hiding snacks? And uh of course they find a way to make this gross too, which we cover later

I also wanna point out, as someone relistening as we speak, she emphasizes that being a white wolf means "i have a banging body and a hot face" and its just like, what so you turned 16 and after your first shift your body was instantly different? While you're still technically a kid btw, just instant convenient glow up? It would've been better to say she toned up after being able to shift and train with her new family but this story is pretty uh, weird and cringey at times, like bending over backwards to say what a #girlboss she is when she really barely did anything or did something objectively shitty

. Like, she goes to train the adults, and a 22 year old asks why she only gives commands but never spars herself, and yeah he's slightly mean like "oh she's just 17, I could probably beat her" and how does she respond? During the fight she tells him "say uncle and I'll stop" while twisting his arm and he says nothing so she just BREAKS HIS ARM and it's played off as, oh its fine he's a wolf he'll heal, but then she's like "someone call a medic, we have a LADY down" like at this point during my first listening I was seriously confused on how I was supposed to relate and empathize with such an unlikable protagonist? Like girl you were literally called misogynistic slurs and you upgraded to beating up grown men and calling them women like, you internalized that shit, not conquered it 🙄 also a lot of these werewolf stories, not just this one, kind of seem to gloss over "oh yeah we're more rowdy and violent and show pda more and it's not uncommon to accidentally find people fucking in the woods but that's our culture cause we're wolves lol 🤪" really because you all have science and medicine and your own forms of government and half of you are using smartphones and driving Lamborghinis so I feel that, let's be blunt, the sheer debauchery and barbarianism is an active choice and they're kind of just the equivalent of people who run around doing blatantly archaic and cruel shit under the guise of "but.... but tradition tho? 🥺"

Also, because it's happening again, really cannot emphasize how they keep complimenting her body and eventually even outright talk about sex clubs and bondage before she's sven 18. Like sorry I don't want to hear about how this 17 year old is "5'5 with a DD cup and a flat stomach but a big ass" yeah and I'm sure she has a magic thigh gap too 🙄 like in hindsight they deliberately keep her a minor so she's still going to high school for plot convenience but then they put her in REALLY gross and creepy situations. Like as I'm listening to this again I'm double checking and mentions of time passing to see if she's even 18 by the time. Creepy stuff happens.

So when she's going to the Red River Pack, Amira's friend Samantha starts to ask "so you really can't feel the mate bond?" To which Amira replies "no unless he marks me which isn't going to happen" which, forced mating isn't new for these stories but im always very cautious of stories that bring this up because it can be. Skeezy if not properly handled. So. Hypothetical strike 1?

When Amira and the others get back to her old pack and Erebus sees her again, he's still all "mine" and she just brushes it off and tries to talk about training, when Amira's original blood brother shows up and she blows him off too, which, good for her in both regards. So since Damon is "the alpha of alphas", when he says "hey can we actually see our rooms now" erebus shuts up and settles down, and starts showing them around. Amira and Samantha break off to do some shopping before they start school the next day, and they happen to see Erebus buying flowers, which Amira assumes is for his girlfriend. Nope, he sees her walking to her car and is all "can we talk 🥺" and she's like "yeah, at training tomorrow, about strategy :)" and he's just so MOPEY, and saying "I've CHANGED" to which Amira replies, kinda cringe, "and I shit rainbows" and walks away

(Also as a side note I'd like to mention how extremely common it is for the main characters in these stories or side surrounding characters to be like cheesy tropes and it's explicitly said that Damon is a multi billionaire and Amira is "at about half of his networth" from receiving inheritance after she left the pack from her grandma and also money from training wolves but like that would also make her a billionaire??? But her family being extremely wealthy would make sense for why her parents travel to the point of abandoning her, but its just a little much. In fact i dont think you can legally touch inheritance money until youre 18)

So anyways she gets into another stupid play fight with her brothers because she created a snack stash with her own money but didn't share, and Erebus sees her using magic to mess with them, so now he's discovered "oh shit, my mate is a white wolf?"

So like, there are these concepts of these people acting more feral like when it comes to their mates, and she's rejected him, but not like, officially right? Like in a lot of these stories, you can officially break the matebond by verbally declaring something like "I Rhiannon Michael's reject you Nathan Thorn as my chosen mate" and it, severs it? Like a magic cancellation, albeit with negative consequences. So Amira goads Erebus and says "doesn't it suck knowing you couldve had a white wolf as your mate?" To which Damon adds "yeah, now she gets a second chance mate and you just have a forever broken mate bond. I bet your pack will die out"

(A lot of these stories have concepts of "the alphas strength is the whole packs strength, they're the strongest with their true mate", so I assume this is what it means. Also, hhhh kinda lowkey gives me story ideas for a yandere werewolf or whatever who not only wants to but HAS TO keep his squirmy reluctant little human mate because his pack is literally stronger with her there)

But anyways Erebus' definitely mature adult response to this is "you're getting a second chance mate? NO! You're MINE" and CHARGES at her, but with a flick of her hand she knocks him away with a wind shield and mocks him saying she's going to choose another hot sexy alpha over him, but then, chooses to physically approach him, to which he grabs her, spins around, and is straddling her in the ground 🙄 there is an increasing feeling of wariness and uncomfortableness as Erebus nips at her earlobe while growling "mine" and Amira admits to it being pleasurable because, im sitting here thinking, why from a narrative standpoint would you include this detail, that at least physically it feels good to have this forced unwanted touch, from a man whos bullied a girl into suicide, what is the intent here, and i quickly reached a theory and felt a pit open up in my stomach. Red flag number 2. And then when Amira attempts to knock him off with her powers? Nothing happens, and Erebus giddily exclaims that a white wolf can't use their powers while their mate is touching them and wants to will them away

MAJOR RED FLAG. So the inherent powers she has in her own body can be forcibly stopped by someone else in a story about her trying to have her own autonomy and freedom? And she's being forced down by a man she's rejected and made her miserable and cannot use her own powers to get him off of her while he's beginning to basically assault her? RED FLAG RED FLAG RED FLAG and then she just, like, briefly overpowers him, and is all "hah, I don't need powers to fight you! Right brothers? Let's go eat chips lmao" like not even joking it just abruptly ends like that, they just leave Erebus to go eat snacks and the next chapter (5) starts

So, chapter 5, Amira, her 3 brothers, and Samantha are all eating breakfast in the packhouse when her brother walks in, and, wouldn't you know, calls for their parents. And Amira is like, "oh, why would fake mom and dad be here? They're always gone?" But sure enough, in walk her parents, with a fucking two month old baby. Like. Its not properly addressed in the story itself so I just really want to rage that these people literally had their daughter attempt suicide and literally leave a note for them telling them she's running away to a new family and never wants to see them ever again and they just??? REPLACED HER??? It is COMPLETELY glossed over and not addressed AT ALL. Did they even MOURN HER? And of course the baby is a girl, NAMED MIRA. THEY REPLACED HER. THEY REALLY FULL ON DEADASS REPLACED HER AND IT MAKES ME WANT TO SCREAM.

Like it is not addressed at all. Amira isn't even mad they have another baby besides hoping they don't do the same thing to it that they did to her? Like sorry in some hypothetical scenario where I found out my daughter tried to kill herself partially because of her brother, my son, and she ran away saying I wasn't her family and she wanted nothing to do with me ever again, I think I would hesirate to just immediately spit out another baby after pretty obviously failing my first two attempts? What quiverfull bullshit is this?

But Amira just walks up to them and is all "what I went through drove me to suicide, so love this little girl and give her everything you have, give her all the love you never gave me" but also like uh, you would think her parents would be like emotional and sobbing upon seeing her again and their reactions are more just, very muted and I think that may just be this author being kind of. Shit lmao. The mom just repeats how Amira addressed herself as someone else's daughter but, the conversation is interrupted because Mira is crying hysterically (vaguely implied because Amiras mom isn't very good at, momming) and, ugh, it's emphasized how immediately Mira becomes so calm that she falls asleep upon being in Amira's arms and that "I already feel so much love for this little girl, my little Mira" like she's literally crying tears holding this baby, and my uncomfortable feelings increase because literally the very second this happened I said aloud "oh god are they going to kill off her parents and make her raise her own sister just to show how sweet and motherly she is" and uh. :| well. Anyways Amira immediately asserts that she's going to be constantly visiting to check in on her little sister, and at this point I groan because I realize the little sister is a plot device so that Amira doesn't have the option of just finishing this training stuff and then never coming back to Red River. But anyways she demands her parents show her how to make Mira's formula and the story makes a point of showing how Amira is becoming increasingly reluctant to "stay mad" at her family, which uh would be the only reasonable reaction to be perfectly honest. But since Amira's hands are busy feeding Mira, which is only something she's insisting on doing, her parents are still right here the whole time, she turns to her brothers and asks which one of then is going to feed her, and of course Erebus walks in while Jason is spoonfeeding her pancakes

IMMEDIATELY "MINE, the only man feeding you should be me, you're mine!

"Jason is my brother??? Leave before I set you on fire, there's a BABY here."

So anyways Amira is leaving and there's this stupid part where they make it obvious that Mira prefers Amira over her own birthmother, sobbing the second her mother takes her back, and at this point I'm convinced they're killing off the parents, but, it transitions into a conversation where she deliberately pisses off Erebus on purpose by saying "maybe I'll fool around with someone" to which he bangs a fist on the desk "no you WONT fool around with a man that's not me 😤" and Amira retorts "I can fool around with anyone I want, because I'm hot as fuck, and you have no power over me" nd I'm thinking, good for her, albeit she's still 17 so, like, don't have her have sex at all maybe? And she retorts to him "go mark a pack slut"

And Erebus gets offended by this, but the ACTUAL red flag is DAMON'S reaction, which is "Erebus, hurt my sister and I'll kill you, Amira, fool around with a man I don't approve of, and I'll MAKE YOU WATCH AS I BREAK EVERY BONE IN HIS BODY. Understand?"

Oh, so, you mean to tell me that the brother figure who saved her from dying who has only known her for two years is also beginning to show signs of being possessive and controlling towards her in a potentially not platonic way? Ok. Ok. Red flag. Red flag for sure. Like genuinely the reason I'm going into so much detail is the sheer layers upon layers of ways Amira gets fucked over and betrayed. Also to take her out of the room, he threw her over his shoulder and carried her out? And she says if it wasn't for her real brother Brendan that Damon would be the worst brother ever, to which Brendan who literally used to beat her comes up all hurt like "w was I really that bad of a big bro🥺" to which Amira replies the title of the chapter, 1438, the amount of times her brother physically put his hands on her. She literally begins reciting the figures on how many wounds left marks, how many wounds left scars, and I remember listening to this scene and thinking, "you had the dedication or perhaps spite to keep mental track of all your injuries to the point of counting them but you never sought help from any adult whatsoever????"

But Brendan is legitimately crying and saying he's full of regret and that his parents get on him every day, but Amira just says "fuck you, if we weren't blood I would beat you senseless and light you on fire" and also the father waits until like the very end of this conversation to say "you hit her over 1400 times?" And Amira leaves with her new brothers while her father starts scolding her old brother

So at this point we're thinking, good for Amira, she's starting to really show Erebus and her old family up huh? She's showing everyone how much she doesn't need them and how she's moved on. This is exactly what I want from "you made me try to kill myself stories so now I want either revenge or nothing to do with you" stories.

SO IMAGINE MY ABSOLUTE PAIN AND DEVASTATION WHEN CHAPTER 6 OPENS WITH

EREBUS' POV

LITERALLY i was listening to this story while working and I went, out loud, "NOOOOO THAT MEANS HE'S THE MALE LEAD, WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS". So I try to form a protective mental barrier of denial. Maybe they're just showing his POV to rub his nose in how he's fucked up and give us the audience satisfaction? After dropping this story, I actually found another story that did that, that had POVs for both the new and old boyfriend and would cut to the old one to show him scheming, so, when this chapter came along, I was DEVASTATED but tried to think, hey, this, this isn't immediately game over, right?

Wrong

So the chapter starts from Erebus' point of view starting off from him walking in on Amira being fed and his internal monolog is as creepy as you would expect "oh my perfect mate, when I'm near her, I just want to hug her, kiss her, tie her down, and fuck her until she's mine" (again, she's still 17 at this point, I know I keep saying it but, not a big fan of the constant sexualization of a minor in what's supposed to be a female empowerment story?) . And or course his dumb ass internal thoughts are about how he's changed as a person, he reprimands other people for bullying, but he's also told everyone in the pack that Amira is his mate even though she already told him no. And then he has this internal thought process of "no, just mark her by force so she feels the bond. But that would be cheating. We have to do this the right way" but like uh him saying it's wrong does not undo the fact he's even considering forcing her, which, well, later on---

(Also lmao ms 5'5 DD cup huge ass flat tummy Amira is also described as having 'a tiny waist' like girl cmon)

Should I also mention we only have a female narrator so, she also does the men, so, that can be a little. Awkward lol. She has a decent range but, it's still "girl making her voice deeper to try and be a dude". I think she does a good job, simply mentioning, there are other stories with multiple VAs, which I'm getting to later, but, I figured I would mention how the story sounds besides the writing quality itself

Anyways uh Erebus overhears Amira's brothers talking about him, and one of them is like, do you think Amira will ever forgive Erebus, and Damon deadass responds "not sure, if she does I'd be highly apprehensive, but he really seems he regrets his actions, so if she chooses to give him a chance, I'll be there for her" ummmmm the fuck? How would you fucking know? Who are you to even say it seems like Erebus has regrets? And does him having regrets somehow magically undo what he did? It's the fact this is Damon who is Amira's number 1 supporter saying this, that Erebus would vaguely deserve some sort of chance after what he did? And of course Erebus hears all this and says "see she's gonna give me another chance, I believe in the mate bond"

Also if there's an official statement to break the mate bond why didn't Amira just say it instead of insulting him and running off. Like. Red flag.

Erebus witnesses another sibling tickle fight and keeps internally calling her his mate, which is gross, and, oh no anime trope, she was running away and tripped right into him and stumbled them both right over 🥺👉👈 and Damon scoops her up, mocking him and thanking him for catching his sister and saying at least hes good for something. And Erebus, full simp mode, says "as long as I get a chance to hold her, that's fine" and like Damon has a visible sympathetic reaction, gross, and Erebus is all "I hope he hears the sincerity in my voice uwu"

So. Gosh, I know I've written so much at this point, so I may skip some scenes, or only mention footnotes until significant events, but we haven't even come NEAR the PEAK BULLSHIT that happens later

-she confronts her old class again and is all edgy and stupid about it tbh. "Before you all made me slit my wrists, but now I'm here to train this pathetic pack" ok edge lord some of them may have just been minding their own business. The entire classroom calls her "Luna" which is the Alpha's mate and top pack female

-Erebus pushes her up against a wall, you're mine, I love you, and she just replies, oh that must be a shitty feeling, loving someone who will never love you back. Queen. She gets away from getting out of his grip and threatening to burn him and then invites him for a formal fight behind the packhouse after school

-she for some reason was going to go meet him alone? Her brothers only came with after they found out

-she verbally acknowledges she can't hurt him as her mate, but doesn't formally reject him so he, you know, isn't her mate anymore? Like girl you have a solution to the problem?

-"the old me you knew died when she slit her wrists" cringe

-she gets him struck by lightning and gives a dramatic speech telling him dtuff like she tortures without a second thought and he wouldn't want her as his mate since she'd kill him in his sleep and as she's walking away SHE'S CRYING "BECAUSE IT HURTS TO DO THIS TO HER ALPHA WHO CARES ABOUT HIS PACK, AT THE END OF THE DAY HE'S STILL MY MATE AND IT MAKES ME SAD TO HURT HIM" GIRL YOU FUCKING LOSER, TF, genuinely hated this bitch at this point, imagine getting beaten daily for years and years and then just forgiving that and even loving that person. Vomit vomit vomit

-Amira decides the pack is too weak to be trained by her just yet and she doesnt want to stay in the pack house, so she's going to go to a hotel, and also tells all this to her brothers and Erebus, and also to stop telling the pack to call her Luna. Erebus says no, just because he doesn't want her staying in a hotel, not even her not wanting to train them yet, because 'she's his mate and he wants her close to protect her, and the pack calls you Luna because you're my queen and my everything and we WILL be together and mate" gross gross gross

-Amira tells him straight up she'd rather die than be marked by him yet doesn't reject him officially

-Erebus basically threatens to hold her in captivity on suicide watch and mark her without her consent "if she doesn't accept me in the near future"

-white wolves have natural strong maternal feelings which is stupid :/ I thought this was a bad bitch story, fuck them kids, she's still a kid herself, gross

-Erebus sees her helping this little girl Ariel who fucked up her ankle while playing and climbing a tree and he says this gross ass comment like "you're going to be the perfect mother to our pups" 🤮🤮🤮🤮

-Amira tells Ariel's parents not to call her Luna and for some reason this makes them sad? Shouldn't they respect how she feels? She isn't Erebus' mate officially, and then he strolls in trying to emotionally manipulate her by saying she's "breaking their hearts"

-"I used to care about breaking hearts until I cut my wrists from my own heart being broken" and you wanna think yeah bitch you tell him

Or so you would think, right? Except no, ot instantly transitions into describing how he managed to shower and is looking oh so handsome and sexy in a tight shirt that shows his muscles through it AND THIS BITCH ACTUALLY SAYS "OH HE'S SO HOT, I WOULD FOOL AROUND WITH HIM IF IT WASNT FOR OUR HISTORY, ACTUALLY I MIGHT WIND UP DOING THAT ANYWAYS" LIKE, HAVE SOME SELF RESPECT

By this point (speaking in past tense of my first listen, refreshing my memory on second go around) I am incredibly uncomfortable with the framing of this story as it feels almost definitive that Erebus is going to be forgiven and eventually rewarded with Amira, which, no, that's not why I read these stories, and you definitely are going to get on a lot of bad sides having a genuinely awful guy continue to be awful but be only slightly nicer and then never have to face consequences for his past

- Erebus insists that even if she doesn't feel the mate bond, she'll start to be attracted to him, he's, quote, "known as something of a sex god" even though he should realistically only be 17 or 18 years old, so, cap, little boy

-the depictions of Erebus touching her nonconsensually, like holding her down or pinning her against walls, starts to become increasingly fetishized. He corners her and basically tells her his preferred method of punishment is overstimulation and, she's a 17 year old virgin. she thinks this is all hot by the way and thinks "anything that happens between us would merely be fooling around" so its like oh great now you're repeatedly entertaining thoughts and admitting to yourself you find him "incredibly sexy"

So, chapter 9 right. The chapter is called "mate" and something about the simplicity and topic makes me think, oh shit, is this 'it'? 👀 are we here?

Amira's adoptive dad decides to send more Alphas to help Amira with the weaklings. Amira officially moves her things out of the pack house to stay at her fancy hotel in a royal suite "that's basically like an apartment", and she goes to eat at the restaurant at the hotel because, the other Alphas being sent over are also at her exact same hotel and, why not meet them? And upon entering the restaurant, she smells something and she feels this voice I side herself say MATE and she worries, shit, is Erebus here?

"And I look around in a panic, and Erebus is here BUT THATS NOT WHAT I WAS SMELLING"

AT THIS POINT IM HOLLERING, YES FINALLY WE'RE REPLACING THIS BITCH EREBUS, SECOND CHANCE MATE LET'S GO. It's another Alpha, Christian of the Oak Wood pack, and "holy fuck the mate pull is strong" so she's instantly dickmatized, like instantly feeling goo-goo over him. And he adores her and they start making up, which of course makes Erebus mad. And Christian says outright, "you don't deserve her, she's mine" so he obviously knows the story between them? But Amira and him are all doe eyed and she even sits on his lap after he pulls her close, but, y'all you're in a public restaurant... ew.....

So Erebus is sitting there glowering for the rest of the meal until Christian's men leave them alone for privacy, and this bitter bitch really says "let's cut the shit, white wolves are known for having more than one mate,and are known for being shared song them, the way I see it, you and I will have to share" and Amira snorts because that's absolutely fucking stupid and Christian is. Dead silent. "For several minutes"?

And then

This

Absolute little cunt of a man

Just says straight up

"I HONESTLY DIDN'T EVEN THINK ABOUT THAT"

The fuck? The FUCK? DID YOU NOT JUST ACKNOWLEDGE THE WHOLE SUICIDE THING THAT HAPPENED BETWEEN THEM?

But then this bitch, this bitch CONTINUES, "BUT I SUPPOSE YOU ARE CORRECT, I AM FINE WITH SHARING, IF THAT IS WHAT THE MOON GODDESS CHOSE"

screaming crying pissing throwing objects violently howling at the moon as I rage 'WHAT ABOUT WHAT AMIRA FUCKING WANTS', like girl throw the whole goddamn man away, he literally INSTANTLY ruined this and he JUST got here. this moron literally says "I can tell we were meant to share you, and I don't fuck with fate, I can tell he's different from the man who bullied you" oh so you know him better than his victim c: you know her pain? She should forgive it because he's magically changed but not really? And she should just BE SHARED? C: drink bleach

Oh and Christian is an 18 year old high school senior so he's transferring to Amira's school so basically every aspect of her life is being smothered with one of these prices.

Amira, literally, overhears Erebus and Christian talking in the school library about how "she's bound to come around, but if it isn't in the next few days, we may have to forcefully mark her"

So like, they're basically scheming to rape her. Ok. Let's not mince it. They are scheming to force upon her an act that will nonconsensually and permanantly alter how her brain and feelings and even her biology functions and basically force her to have feelings for them against her will. This is basically the kind of thing I would write, but the difference is I write stalker fetish porn and not, stories legitimately marketed as romance that's supposed to, like, idk, frame the guys as good, desirable people. They plot about even hiring witches to enchant restraints like handcuffs and ropes, and they're talking about things in such scary serious detail it's obvious they plan on doing this for real. And then they sense her outside the library and she tries to run, but of course she gets caught by Erebus :/ she has to "suppress the shiver that threatens to go down her spine" when he nibbles her ear and goes down to where her mate mark would be, gross, and "let's out a moan that's not completely forced" to lure him into false security for her to escape and create a barrier with magic, and oh, she suddenly remembers, she had a magical werewolf mindlink with her brothers, duh? All werewolves have mindlinks

Erebus is all "Amira we're your MATES, we're here to love amd care about you, but you have to LET US" this is like genuine fucking delusional yandere levels of denial and lack of accountability like, the Oscar goes to these men for the ability to act like they ain't the ones acting like total rapist nightmare creeps that she shouldn't have immediately called the werewolf police on

Anywaya, so in the past I was thinking, ok, ok, this has got to be, like, a red herring, right? How Erebus is so terrible and then Christian is immediately a piece of shit too? They just said several mates earlier, so, maybe she chooses number three? Is there a number three?

Mate number three is her fucking brother Damon and they all find out when he appears to rescue her. NUMBER THREE IS HER FUCKING ADOPTIVE FOUND FAMILY BROTHER WHO WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A SOURCE OF SAFETY AND TRUST AND SUPPORT FOR HER AND HE WAS BASICALLY ALWAYS IN LOVE WITH HER AND WAS ONLY PRETENDING TO LOVE HER AS A SIBLING AND ALL THOSE TIMES HE WAS ROUGHHOUSING AND SHE THOUGHT HE WAS BEING A PLATONIC BRO? NO HE WAS FEELING HIS ALPHA URGES. CARRYING HER WHENEVER SHE WAS SICK OR TIRED? ACTING ON HIS PROTECTIVE URGES OUT OF ROMANTIC LOVE.

But OH NO, they don't immediately know it's him, Erebus and Christian start freaking out and when Amira says "that's bullshit, I would feel the mate bond otherwise", Damon is just like "well, I know something I could do that might kickstart it if its there but you'll probably hate me for this" and suddenly kisses her without asking and thats how it is confirmed, yeah, he's number 3 and she likes kissing him, until she's panting afterwards 😩

-he carries her off into her car and there's this whole "no don't carry me k can walk, don't buckle my seat belt im an adult" "no Amira you're my mate and rhat involves giving this relationship my all, and that includes carrying you, protecting you, and fucking you--" she's still 17 and you were her "brother" just 5 minutes ago dude. But she gets horny from this 🙄 and. He can smell it.

-conversation about how she's a virgin who's never even masturbated, instantly transition to "he cups my pussy through my pants" YO SHE'S STILL 17 THO???

-Damon booked a suite down the hall from hers at her hotel 🙄 she instantly starts to hook up with him, UNTIL HE SUDDENLY MARKS HER WITHOUT ASKING, AND SHE LITERALLY SCREAMS NO. She says that he knew she wasn't ready and she was too much of her own person to be marked yet and this stupid bastard replies "no you ARE ready, I KNOW you're ready" ok you freak, you've technically known her for not even two years. You know her better than she knows herself? You know her so well it entitles you to break such an intense intimate personal boundary???

So now she's marked by him, against her will, and he's confident in his decision, and, like, it lowkey reads as a horror film because he transitions into how he knows she's scared but he's going to love and protect her but like he basically just MARKED HER SOUL without even a warning? It's like? That's rape dude? There's no glossing over that? You just changed an extremely huge part of her autonomy, bodily, emotionally, psychologically, against her will, and you're just telling her to chill because you love her and she's initially in love with you?

For a woman's empowerment story Amira sure keeps meeting men she is supposed to love and trust who bring some sort of unspeakable betrayal or harm upon her and it only gets worse.

-he marked her but they didnt have sex, awkward transition to two days later

-they're cuddling when Damon gets hard and randomly starts talking about how much he loves his women helpless, he loves bondage and overstimulation and how seeing a girl writhe in denial and overstimulation

-she's turned on, she's deciding you know what, after dinner I'm gonna fuck this man after we got out to dinner. She is INFATUATED with this guy, can't even focus on her food. She does this weird, seductive licking and sucking vanilla ice cream off her lips and fingers since she figures he's already paid the bill so it doesn't matter if he embarrasses them both by carrying her out which he does

But anyways so, they dont have sex again but its the next day, we're moving on to another really uncomfortable plot point. Damon pulls Amira aside and says "hey, with female wolves with multiple mates, when you're marked by one, you go crazy with the urge to mate wirh the others" ok pause, so because he marked her against her will, she is now magically horny for erebus and Christian where she wasn't before, and now they're magically going crazy because they can sense she's been marked and they ""need" to mark her now? This is so fucked up and unfair, where is her CHOICE, why is she a side character in her own story???

so, I don't really like any of these options, but out of the three, at least Damon will protect her from those that try to harm her, right?

WRONG

This

Little

Absolute

Cunt

Says

"YEAH NOW THAT I'M YOUR MATE, I ALSO SHARE A SORT OF BOND WITH CHRISTIAN AND EREBUS, OF RESPECT AND UNDERSTANDING, AND I NO LONGER WANT TO STOP THEM BEING WITH YOU"

psycho. Absolute freak. Marks her by force, and then says he's going to share her with the guy who pushed her to suicide, like DAMON WAS THE ONE WHO literally found her dying, and another guy she's already rejected. So. The betrayals really do keep adding up don't they? Like it's really unsettling how no one is truly in Amira's corner?

So she stands up and says "fuck you" because she feels hurt and betrayed by him, and there's this, extremelt cringey exchange, really genuinely cringey is the only word I can use, so she's trying to walk away from him, he grabs her from behind, lightly squeezes her throat, and says "you WILL calm down or I will take you home and punish you and you would NOT like my punishments. Don't forget I am a Dominant and you are my Submissive" like 🤮🤮🤮 ok Christian Gray wannabe bitch go fys

Amd Amira gets out of his grip and is rightfully enraged he'd threaten her and says he better watch out because she can pray to the moon goddess to remove their bond, and he just like, isn't even listening to her, and he says, "oh that's another thing we'll have to work out, you'll be a Sub to three Alpha Doms" and she's like "what" and casually he's like "yeah we're actually pretty popular at some of the CLUBS around here as famous Doms"

Oh, so. Let me. Let me run this back. Her three mates are her childhood bully who verbally belittled her and also horribly beat her, some new prick she doesn't even know who is totally fine sharing with the bully and is also totally fine with forcing her, and her adoptive brother of two years who doesn't care about sharing either and has already marked her by force, and all three of them have also been running around performing as Dominants at sex clubs at a professional level to the point of being known as, quote, the best Doms out there, the most experienced? That's an enormous turn off for me actually! Y'all are seniors in high school acting as Doms? Is that even legal? Wow, I sure would feel great to know that all 3 of the mates forcing themselves onto me and saying I don't get a choice have already ran through countless other women!

Oh and then her birth parents die. I'm serious, theres like a two mimute transition between Damon saying they'll share to her hearing her parents are dying. They got into a car accident. Her mom dies first and the mate bond weakens and takes her father soon after, so now, just as I predicted, she now has custody of Mira and she furthers her role as a plot device

-she's dumb enough to answer the hotel room door without double checking and all three men force their way into her room with groceries and stuff, to 'help her', separating her from Mira, and they immediately start talking about gags and ropes, and sure enough they brought restraints and she's sitting there with a ball gag talking about how they've restraint proofed the entire hotel suite "wherever we go we can tie her up, even in the shower"

This is straight up fucking yandere bullshit. And she kind of jokingly says "oh they're Dominants, so being restrained is something I guess I'll have to get used to, oh wait I'm not accepting them what am I saying tee hee" girl what the actual fuck this is NOT the time for this.

So while she's gagged, she's basically mentally recounting how to formally reject a mate bond. It will recede on her end, but the mates will still feel ot "and also become crazy possessive, but they're already possessive anyways" so why does canceling the mate bond basically not have any negative consequences. So the second her gag is removed, she verbally rejects them all at once, and they physically collapse to their knees in pain

Um. So. Rejecting Damon apparently doesn't count because the Moon Goddess has to accept your rejection if you're already marked? And Christian says "I reject your rejection" and what does he do? MARKS HER BY FORCE. AND THEN SO DOES EREBUS. AND THEY KNOW MARKING HER BY FORCE WILL CAUSE HER BODY SIGNIFICANT PAIN BUT THEY DO IT ANYWAYS. She literally passes out from the strain of two forced marks.

So at this point its like, how could this get any worse?

How about God herself personally making it worse?

The Moon Goddess herself winds up appearing in a flash of light before Amira and the three men and basically, God, how do I even describe this weird ass fucking conversation. She's acting all holy and motherly and wants to hold Mira and talks to Amira like a mom and then she turns to the men and then, just barely sternly chastises them, saying they completely ignored Amira's consent, and "im going to give you all another chance, but hurt her again and I'll give her entirely new mates"

So. So. So. Ok. Ok. Even though Amira already rejected them though? Like I thought only Damon needed your approval? Christian and Erebus marked her by force after she already rejected them? Did her rejecting them not even matter? Does she have any power or agency at all? Hey, blue fairy bitch, she already told them no and their response was to force themselves on her, so why is your response, oh, I'LL give you another chance. Bitch it's not your choice? The fuck? Also they already proved they're scum? What the fuck? So now even GOD is willing to sell her out? The fuck? The fuck?

So first listen in, at this point I'm obviously incensed, I'm thinking, ok, surely some weird bullshit is going on here, maybe one or two or three of them die or she rejects them all in the end anyways, so I say, fuck it, and skip to like, the third ti last chapter

"Me, Damon, Erebus, and Christian all sat together in the diner--"

Throwing my goddamn phone out the window. Fuck this story man. Fuck these characters, fuck how she literally only had one real friend this entire story (Samantha), fuck how her agency snd choice was constantly taken away from her, just, fuck it all, this was genuinely like a horror story, like genuinely made me uncomfortable to listen to, like I was audibly saying "but that's like rape? That's basically rape? What the fuck?"

So in better news, on the same app that this story is on, DreameFm, is a much better story I listened to and would recommend :) it's The Perfect Luna and you can listen to the first 3 chapters here here and here, (oh you can go straight to downloading the app where the rest have to be bought with coins). It's got some 36 or something chapters which I find a pretty decent length and I think the quality of the story and the voice acting is really good!

It follows the story of Alpha and Luna Riannon Thorne as the story begins with her being killed by her cheating husband's lover and being sent back in time to try and do everything all over again! After she's sent back in time, she can't talk to or use her wolf at all and has to rely on her wits and knowledge of the future to navigate through her second lifetime, but as she starts doing things differently, she finds a much different outcome than before. The voice acting is pretty good, although the lady does change at chapter 26 which is a little jarring since it's more than halfway over at that point but I still found the story worth continuing. The male voice actor, I think there may be two, are also dedicated, and i think you guys may like some of the villains like the evil Fox King who even has his own harem ;) definitely a palette cleanser for the awful awful whiplash that Back and Better gave me 🤮 bluh. Definitely a good girl power listen uwu

#yandere stuff #jesus this is LOOOOOOOOOOONG #weebwolves

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blissfullybloomed · 1 year ago

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Holistic Healing

Let's start with some simple definitions for both of these words.

Holistic ( in regard to medicine): Characterized by the treatment of the WHOLE person, taking into account MENTAL and SOCIAL factors, rather than just the SYMPTOMS of the illness. It stems from the old English word holism( 1920s).

Healing ( in regard to person) : The process of making or becoming sound or healthy again, and to make free from injury or disease. To make well again, and return to the earth.

Great! Now what?! HOW does one Holistically Heal themselves? How would one even know if they NEED to do some holistic healing? That's where we start today. Being self aware.

I'd like to present a few questions for you to internally answer:

What are YOUR hobbies? Not your friends, not your spouse, not your co workers…YOURS?

Who are YOU? What do you stand for? Again….not your friends, spouse or co-workers.

What foods do you truly enjoy?

What music do you listen to on a daily basis?

Could you answer them? If you could- that's great! You've got a head start on everyone else- Congrats on finding yourself. If you couldn't answer them…let's work on that together.

I believe the first and most crucial step in becoming holistically healed is to know your true self. Can you introduce yourself without saying you “belong” to someone. Example: Hi, my name is Victoria, I'm the sister of…Im the wife of ...Im the business partner of ... .NO! Stop the madness… YOU are good enough as you already are- let that soak in. You don't need to validate yourself in a work title, you don't have to be someone’s anything. You're enough as you are.

I have personal experience( look ma, I learned how to spell- AKA…spell check) with the above introducing struggles.

Now, don't get it twisted..I am in no way stating that you shouldnt be proud to be someone's wife, husband, co-worker…etc, I'm simply stating that it's okay to be your own self. There's bliss in solitude.

Moving on…, How do you find out who you are? How do you find out what food you truly enjoy? How do you change the repeated monotony of your life? That's what it is…repeating the same thing. You're comfortable there…it's ok, I used to be too. There's safety in the known, and fear in the unknown. Overcoming fear…that's a whole other blog…I'm still working on that one honestly.

So….I've rambled enough…Get to know yourself.

That's how you holistically heal. Holistic medicine is all about utilizing what your body already has inside of it from a hormone/chemical level and using natural remedies(plants from the earth) to aid in health. It’s not a toxic pill made in a factory at an enormously high dollar amount. It's not a drug induced drink (Coca-cola…cocaine…) made in mass at a low dollar amount to produce the happy hormone for a fleeting second. Now granted, McDonalds Coke is literally to die for, and yes…I've drank them…)

Things to try instead of what you're doing now:

Ibuprofen( kills the liver)...Try Arnica Montana instead.

Ora-gel(destroys your gums)....Try Clove - It takes the pain away instantly.

Any inflammation…..Turmeric/Mushrooms.

Anxiety…..Kava/Ashwagandha

Try new things, eat new food, hangout with new people, get a new job, write a blog(HA), do something physical , challenge yourself, go disc-golfing on your damn motorcycle( I'm so proud of you), do whatever you want...but don't be afraid to try new things. You're doing yourself a disservice if you don't. You already knew that though because you are smart. You are beautiful. You are sexy. You are fierce. You are incredibly loud. You are impatient. You are colorful. You are… You are enough.

Frolic the fields.

#holistichealth #holisticwellness #growth

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kyejuns · 3 years ago

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reaction ; 둘

✎ᝰ┆r : having an idol s/o

✎ᝰ┆fluff ; warnings : none

thank you to the kind soul who helped me out by requesting since i have no ideas 😭😭 I LOVE YOU 😭😭

also these gifs looks more coordinated i think ill start using these instead 🤩

+ i kinda got overboard with baekseung for some reason?? 😨

wish.

i feel like you two would meet via a mutual friend

like a mutual idol friend would introduce the two of you to each other and you'd hit it off and start talking

okay anyways, he would be so proud of you ngl

but as proud as he is he'll be so worried about you because he knows your competitive the industry is

he'll call you or text you during meal times to check up on you to see if you're eating

even if you're dieting he'd make sure you had enough so you won't faint while performing

anyways let's say you have to keep your relationship a secret

it'd absolutely pain him not to be able to hang out in public with you

but at the same time it's for both your career so sacrifices have to be made

so while you have private dates he'd try to lay off anything else he has to do for you and just company you

sigh tbh it would pain him not to wear couple items with you

but once y'all go public 🤩

he'd start wearing all those couple matchy things

and he'd also tweet stuff like ' please support us ' etc.

but overall i do think that he'd prefer getting a girlfriend that isn't a celebrity

keum.

keumdong 🤩

i feel like y'all would meet at like a dance sort of content (like dancing high or 1million dance studio)

so like if you're a singer uhh 😨

like i see him with an idol that's like a main dancer

someone who shares the same passion and interest as him

anyways keumdong

i feel like he'd know all your schedules and would text you after just to ask how it went

he would also send you many dance videos and you would do the same

you two would just help each other even if you're not face to face

tbh he wouldn't mind and would wear subtle matching items like earrings

like he wouldn't care at all 💀

anyways if you're dating in secret

he'd definitely try his best to keep the relationship but like compared to wish he would have his dates outside during night time where there isn't as many people

once your relationship goes public

he'd just bring you anywhere and he'd stop caring tbh

even if you're idols you deserve your own life

so he'd just stop caring and go out with you

he'd be super protective of you when someone says something about your relationship

sigh he's just be more protective about you if you're an idol

but overall he'd definitely prefer a non-celeb s/o

mu.

omg tbh i don't see mu with an idol s/o?

like i really don't see it

but okay let's imagine

i think you'd two be friends prior to debut

so you'd like kinda be known to be friends (like moonbin and sinb)

so like tbh fans who kinda speculate some shit is going on but you'll just play it off as you're just close friends 🤩

anyways he would watch your performance,, like literally every single one even if he's busy

and he'd compliment you on how pretty you were and how well you've done

and he'd tell you to rest and not to overwork yourself 😭

he would also promote your new song on his solo vlives and tbh it'd be so cute

anyways i think the both of you would have many chances to interact

like variety shows 🤩

and he'd be extra caring towards you but you know say it's because of your friendship 🤩

anyways you'd just date privately but like it's just so out there but people just brush it off as best friends 💀

once it's public i think many people will support it since you were previous friends even before debut

kinda expected

but anyways he can finally show more skinship towards you and talk about how much he loves you openly 🤩

but overall still would prefer a non-celeb s/o

a-min.

i heard some idols uses like the inkigayo sandwich to exchange phone numbers

yes i think he'll stuff his phone number in there and get a staff to hand it to you just because you were pretty 🤩

and tbh it'd be smart because it'll attract your attention and you'll begin to start talking and end up as a couple

anyways man's would promote you better than your company

he'd be like ' the song im currently obsessed with is (...) you should check it out! '

it'll be so subtle no one suspected a thing

and ngl he'll probably have a fan acc for you 💀

and he'll probably end up being known as your fanboy after 💀

he'll compliment you a lot public or not 🤩

anyways despite doing so much and hinting so much your relationship would still be private

like fans would be pretty sus of the both of you but it's your lives not theirs 🤩

anyways once you go public i think you would go on variety shows together quite often

it'd be cute

ngl i do see him with an idol s/o like compared to a non-celeb

since he can relate to them and stuff and just talk about their stresses together 🤩

baekseung.

i think you'd be going to the same school, in the same class and that's how met

maybe you've already debuted when you met or maybe you're just trainees then but idk man whatever it is y'all would be friends

and then yes relationship

anyways mans would be so proud of you and always bragging about you to the other members

the other members would end up being so sick of hearing him brag about you and tell you about it just so you could reprimand him and have it keep it on the low 💀

he would keep up with your variety show and especially aegyos so he can tease you about it 💀

just do the same to him so he would stop doing it once he realizes how shitty that feels

anyways like i said in the boyfriend series y'all would gossip together and it will be the same

except you have a lot more to gossip about 🤩

you'll talk about the entertainment industry, idols and your companies etc.

i would think that he would prefer to keep your relationship private and intimate so he'd prefer not to publicize it + do his best to keep the relationship a secret

even if it's made public, he'd act as if he doesn't know you during events that will make some fans think that you're having a fight but in reality you're doing well

he just prefers to do all the couple things in private you know

but like i think he'd prefer a non-celeb s/o too

ayden.

i have a feeling that if ayden was to fall for an idol, it would be an idol from his own company aka c9

like you'd probably meet when you guys were still trainees and have probably trained with each other before debut

and like so you'd become friends and eventually develop feelings for each other and you know date

to be honest i feel like as an idol he'd be a lot more low-key in front of everyone even his own members

to the point that sometimes they're wondering if you guys have broken up but no he was just low-key

he'd just quietly sit before he has to perform watching your performance as a source of motivation which is kinda cute💀

like he would work harder because of you and like there'll be a friendly competition between the two of you just to see who's better

since your relationship is so low-key no one would know about your relationship except for members 🤩

tbh the only time they'd find out would be when you personally decide to announce it yourself

like it'd be as unexpected as the daniel × jihyo pairing

overall i feel like he wouldn't mind if his s/o is an idol or not, as long as they have a mutual liking and understanding then it's fine

yewang.

i think you guys would meet by like a singing programme

like a duet special stage 🤩

anyways he would be extremely polite when you first met and you'd take a liking towards him

then you'd end up hanging out outside of your schedule and eventually end up dating

anyways he would stare at you a lot during like programmes where you meet each other

like he wouldn't care and just stare at you 🤩

during like award shows he'll text you and be like ' you look beautiful today '

tbh he would stare at you do much that fans would start to speculate something is going on between the both of you

like he wants to talk to you so bad but the fans just makes it hard

so he ends up publicizing your relationship to go out freely with you 🤩

but to be honest he would prefer an idol s/o

since he'd prefer sharing the same passion + having more common topics to talk about

jeff.

FINALLY JEFFF

alright to be honest he's another one i don't see having an idol s/o💀

like you two were probably friends before you were trainees and ended up debuting

and like somewhere in between you fell for each other and got into a romantic relationship

kinda like mu except you keep your friendship low-key so not many people knew you two were friends

till like past photos resurfaced

anyways i think he'd just be extra caring knowing that you're an idol

since there are many risk factors of being an idol

like wish tbh he'd text you a lot checking if you've eaten and if you're feeling okay in case you overwork yourself

and he'll restrain himself from looking at you too much just in case dating rumors end up surfacing

after all your career is more important considering how hard you've worked to be an idol

he'd only publicize it once dispatch catch you guys

but i doubt that'll happen💀

anyways he would have a personal vlive after telling fans to continue supporting the both of you despite the news

overall, he'd prefer a non-celeb s/o

wow this reaction took long to complete HAHAH

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assortedpuzzlepieces · 3 years ago

Text

Ok, I’m about to go off on a GIANT rant about a specific issue I have with John Winchester & how the show intentionally & canonically portrays him as an ableist, homophobic asshole through his portrayal by JDM, so buckle up.

For the record, this is something I’ve always believed, but after listening to podcast episodes from @otrsupernatural & Carrying Wayward, one super clear example of why has just snapped into place & I feel compelled to share it.

So I want to start by noting a couple things that stand out. First & foremost, I think JDM is an incredible actor & I think he brings his A game with his portrayal of John. John Winchester is undeniably an asshole, & yet JDM balances that so well against the idea of loving parent, to not only make the character more realistic, but also to give real authenticity & depth to the trauma his children experienced at his hands & answer why they act the way they do in regards to him as their parent.

John is someone who, on the surface, appears to be a loving and concerned father, who makes mistakes, but does so because he’s in shitty circumstances & doesn’t have a lot of options or has his own trauma to battle that limits the choices he believes he has.

However, the show also gives us other content that proves there is more to John than that caring but broken man from as early as S1 & into the beginning of S2, & this content screams the truth of his ableism & homophobia, & gives some really strong evidence as to why these are two of the primary struggles of his children through the end of the series.

To explain, we 1st have to look at characters from earlier in S1. In 1x10, Asylum, we are introduced to Dr. Ellicott. He is shown to be someone who is canonically ableist to people with MHI. He sees them as less human, he does unethical experiments on them, he tortures them, just, lots of gross stuff there. On top of that, we see him as a ghost using what appears to be electrical shocks to Sam & Dean to possess & harm them, which resembles electroshock. There are also strong echoes of conversion therapy in this episode.

After this, we have 1x12, Faith, where Sue Ann is using dark magic to attack & murder people she hates, which specifically includes a woman who was pro choice & a gay man. This not only shows that she was homophobic, but that she condemned sexual freedom & bodily autonomy for women as well, which is in relation to homophobia, as well as deeply rooted in misogyny.

So essentially, we are shown a doctor who tries to force people to be less mentally ill or queer by “curing” them, & then a woman who took it a step further & murdered them to “cleanse” the town. We are given two different, but very interwoven ways with which society has tried to get rid of queers & disabled people, & it’s not subtext, it’s literally stated.

Now, in the show, both Dr. Ellicott & Sue Ann are the villains, & while the show demonstrates their ableism & homophobia, it also clearly condemns them for those actions. They are both dead/gone by the end of the episode & their actions are shown as evil. This is SO important, especially for a show that has failed in other episodes to truly state what exactly is the problematic action in the episode (looking at you, Bugs & Route 666).

That said, if Dr. Ellicott & Sue Ann are villains, then we must also extrapolate that ableism & homophobia are intentionally being written as evil in the show, so other characters who demonstrate these actions are also bad. (Yes, I know I’m being super redundant right now, but I just want to be really damn clear on this to demonstrate why I believe John’s characterization is intentional).

Now, in 1x21, John finally “learns” about Sam’s psychic abilities, & I say that in quotes bc there’s reason to believe he knew about it already from Missouri & was just in denial until confronted with the evidence, at which point he has a very strong reaction. As Ali pointed out, it’s interesting that he has such a strong negative reaction, as he clearly doesn’t have an issue with Missouri as a psychic, & yet he’s upset about Sam being one. He demonstrates the mindset of “othering” people outside of his family, which is a common treatment of both people w/ MHI & queer people - the mentality that “those people” are fine in general, but “not my son/daughter/family/me”.

So here in that episode, we are already getting an attitude from him that clearly parallels ableism & homophobia, & that is on top of other comments he made that are clearly rooted in misogyny, like his “that’s my man” to Dean in the flashback in Something Wicked This Way Comes (1x18).

THEN - the final nail in the coffin is the “secret” he tells Dean before he dies in 2x1; that Dean needs to either save Sam or stop him. By now it’s crystal clear he views Sam as something “other”, something not fully human, & his response? It’s literally “cure or cleanse”. Either make him “normal” or get rid of him.

To repeat, John LITERALLY uses ableist & homophobic language & tactics towards him son because he is different, & also tries to force Dean to do the same, passing on that legacy, by trying to erase anything about Sam thats not his personal definition of “normal”, all out of FEAR of who his son is & what he might do.

And the show CONDEMNS this behavior from the very beginning, even before we ever see him act this way!! They make it clear that ableism & homophobia are BAD, show John act that way, & then condemn him AGAIN when Dean tells Sam & it is made clear to the audience that what John asked of him was wrong.

Like… holy fuck. There is literally no way I can watch this & not believe that his characterization was not 100% intentional with him being set up as a bad person & his actions as condemnable. It’s just not narratively possible. John Winchester was intentionally written to be an asshole & we are supposed to see him as one, & any love we see from him is only meant to validate the complicated feelings Sam & Dean have towards him, not undermine the knowledge that he is a bad person. It’s literally in the text.

*Edit - Im adding a point here, since it’s been brought to my attention. John’s concern about Sam being infected with demon blood & possibly corrupted does not detract from the parallel being made between his actions & those of IRL people who are homophobic or ableist. In fact, this is another argument for that in interpretation, & here is why -

For literal thousands of years, mental illness has been viewed as demonic. People w/ MHI were thought to be possessed, evil incarnations, or even just sinfully corrupt & given to wickedness. People w/ physical disabilities were believed to be punished for moral failings, not faithful enough, etc, etc. Queer people were believed to be sexually deviant, witches, destroyers of families, etc.

These beliefs carry across many religions, but especially Christianity, & are present even today in some more extreme sects. And the people that believed these things? Well many of them were parents who “loved” their child & were trying to protect them from evil by purifying them. They too believed they had valid fears & good reasons to torture, maim, & even kill their children.

So to anyone who would argue “well it’s not the same because John had a good reason to be afraid of Sam” - shut the fuck up, because no, he didn’t.

Sam hadn’t hurt anyone. He wasn’t doing anything worth killing him over. He was a good kid who was hurt by someone outside his control & yet he only started doing anything that was truly wrong when he was pushed to it by circumstances that were again, beyond his control, & only then bc he was trying to do what was right!!

Anyone would do that, not just a kid w/ some demon blood powers. So let’s not act like he was inherently dangerous just BC he was different, bc guess what? That’s part of that mindset too. Sam was a good fucking person & John seeing him as less was John’s failing, not Sam’s.

#supernatural #dean winchester #sam winchester #john winchester #i hate john winchester #ableism #homophobia #misogyny #othering #asshole John Winchester

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goldvnboy · 3 years ago

Text

screams hi guys im gemma && im so excited to be here !! on today’s disaster episode im introducing my boy, park jaehyun, a whole ass snake in sheep’s clothing 🤪 if u would like to plot w me, pls hit the LIKE button && ill come runnin into ur dms ( or more preferably u can add me on discord @ gemma#8039 ) !! also under the cut is some fun facts abt him bc ya bitch and straight to the point simply do not gel so a lot of this info may not be immediately evident in the bio huhu

@virtuemedia

( stats \ bio \ plots )

gemini sun, aries moon, leo rising / enfj / chaotic neutral

momma’s boy thru && thru, his dad cheated on his momma so the man can go to hell ( nah jk deep down jaehyun still hella thirsty for his dad’s approval also who else is gna give him all this good ass STATUS )

jaehyun is honestly a perfect mix between his mom && dad !! his dad tends to be p in ur face but that can translate into him being p easy to read and sorta relatable while his mom tends to be more enigmatic and does a lot of work behind the scenes huhu

so at face value he is like those sports captains that give rlly motivational yet kinda crass pep talks + a lil slow at times + can get pretty aggressive if u challenge him ( thx 4 yo dominant genes dad ) so everyone who comes across him doesn’t think he has the wits for it bUT PLOT TWIST !! he is p familiar with manipulation / underhanded tactics thx to his mom who whipped his stupid ass into shape !!

honestly the best descriptor i can give is imagine a loud, kinda dumb jock taking a bachelor in snakery hurr durr

but him being manipulative doesn’t necessarily translate to him being hella evil ?? it’s honestly v similar to his momma, who is v manipulative too but in a way that she thinks it’s for the greater good ( i.e. keeping the peace, calming the situation, thinking she knows better, the person she’s manipulating doesn’t know what’s good for them etc )

speaking of, my boy honestly just wanted to be a pro soccer player && yeah he’s great and all but his skills are probably juuuust shy of being considered to play pro, but also his parents have alw wanted him to go into politics to follow after his dad’s footsteps && when he didn’t want to at first, his mom basically manipulated him into thinking this is def the Superior Option and So Much Fun

so yeah he enjoys politics rn but deep down there is that child that just wants to play soccer yknow

that said his manipulation can turn really Ugly and evil when his competitive side comes out !! case in point back when he was a charity pledge, he basically disqualified the other charity pledge by managing to get his hands on a sex tape ft. that pledge and a [ redacted ] initiate !! he also coulda sent the tape to the regent at the time, but he decided it would be more fun to play it for the whole uni to see and let em find out that way :)) of course if anyone asks him this he’s gna be like ?? huh ?? i didn’t do that but man what an asshole that other pledge was breaking the rules like that i would n e v e r do that e v e r ( also if ur wondering, jaehyun is not the greatest schemer on the planet so a lot of his brilliant ideas can be attributed to his mastermind bestie fthv )

also one defining feature of jaehyun is he is the biggest sore loser in the milky way && if u > him in literally anyth, he will secretly hate ur ass ( he may even plot ur downfall depending on how important this competition was to him el oh el )

like no joke, this man could decide not to participate in a race thinking nah it sounds boring the stakes are lame, then when the winner for that race is announced hes like >:( basically if he doesn’t win in anyth he qualifies is eligible to apply for he gna >:( not him dreaming of random committees hes barely even heard of barging into his room w a gold medal w his name on it

ok enough shading my boy huhu jaehyun is v v aware of his strengths and weaknesses and he’s honestly an amazing team player !! like he understands his role v v well espc in schemes and such, so he’s not the type to try and do someone else’s job and he knows if you’re the expert, he’s not gonna mansplain u cause obv u know more than he does l o l so he is v aware of his stupidity role and he executes it to perfection !! even if sometimes that role just means lookin pretty

he is also known to be flighty but that’s just him trying people out for wear, cause he knows his weaknesses v well and lets that guide him as to the kind of people he needs on his team and if u don’t fit the bill he’s simply gna *andy from ts2 vc* i don’t wanna play with you anymore

but to the people he considers part of his *vin diesel vc* family, he is Omega loyal to u and if he goes up, yall go up tgt !! rule of thumb is his family can win ( ideally not in smth he rlly cares abt or he gna semi >:( again ) but everyone else who isn’t part of his family can only lose or he gna try knock ur ass out :)) but if he smells any disloyalty he is gna end u x100 compared to if u were just some random

#( 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚕𝚘𝚛𝚍'𝚜 𝚍𝚎𝚌𝚛𝚎𝚎 ) \ * ooc .#virtue:intro

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muwur · 4 years ago

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Hiii and welcome!! May I please request for the lovable annoying baby Hinata who has a HUGE crush on this popular girl in his class and one day she sees him at the mall or something and rushes to him begging him to pretend to be her boyfriend because there’s a group of guys that won’t leave her alone and that’s when she finally realizes that this gorgeous sweetheart exists and Hinata is just on cloud 9 the entire time but then he remembers it’s all fake :((((( teeeee

✿ pretend boyfriend pt. 1

♡ scenario ♡ for hinata

❧ fem reader

✎ 3.2k words

a/n: aw hello ty for the welcome <3 also this request made me cackle AAHAHAHAHA. also this format is interesting lolol, im so indecisive about how i want it

anyways, hope u enjoy hehe >.> this came out a lot longer than i had originally planned but did i even have a plan in the first place buut i aint complaining LOL

also yes theres going to be a pt 2 firhfnxfwifj hehe

requests: open! pls bbys dun b shy i have summer skool soon fml i need this to make me procrastinate on work LMAO

-having been preoccupied with volleyball, crushes never crossed Hinata’s mind

-however, he was about to find out that he was quite clueless when it came to love

-he found himself speeding to school on his bike one morning, riding at breakneck speed to try to make it on time

-ahhhh, i was so excited about the first day of going to karasuno and seeing their volleyball team that i couldnt sleep until 4 am...!

-that explains why he overslept

-lost in his thoughts, he nearly failed to notice the girl who was walking in front of him

-and so, at the very last minute, he swerved. i nto a tree.

- “oh my gosh! are you okay??”

-if he wasn’t okay before, now he’s cURED because the most beautiful girl was looking down at him with an outstretched hand, concern in her eyes

-he jumped up instead and waved his arms in front of himself, blushing and nodding, “y-yeah, I’m fine! don’t worry about me, a-are you okay??”

- “you’re the one who crashed into the tree!” you responded with shock as you moved to pick up his bike off the ground (luckily, it was undamaged)

-he took the handlebars after you offered them to him

-you frowned slightly. “i’m sorry, i should’ve watched where i was going. are you hurt?”

-he was too busy gawking at you to realize his head started bleeding

-cue you yelling frantically “y-your head! it’s bleeding!” and rushing him to the nurse’s office

-in his head: ‘i-im holding her hand’

-nearly combusted on spot

-and that was how he met you

-later he found out he actually shared the same class with you!

-though you never seemed to notice LOL

-you sat on the opposite side of the room, closer to the front of the class

-he sat all the way in the back, so it’s not like you would’ve really seen him but it was the perfect spot for hinata to stare at you and not pay attention to class

-and during breaks or when the teacher left the room for a few minutes, everyone around you would try to spark up a conversation with you

-oh how he wished he could make you smile and laugh like that too

-and whenever he saw you outside of class, he hid immediately (behind walls, doors, lockers, people *coughkageyamacough* “hinata boke!”, etc) and admired you from afar, way too nervous to approach you after your first encounter several weeks ago

-he just kNOWS he’ll do something stupid and end up a stuttering, blushing mess

-besides, you probably forgot who he was ;((

-one day at lunch, he hid behind yamaguchi, who was confused until he followed hinata’s intent gaze to your form, which was walking by in front of the pair

-kageyama, who also took notice, smiled devilishly

- “pfffft, she’d never glance your way”

- tsukki deadpanned, “you don’t stand a chance. she’s way too pretty for you and people are lining up just to talk to her”

-cue hinata fighting kags n tsukki, blushing and with tears pricking at his eyes

- “aw, guys, don’t be so mean, I think he just has a crush!” yams snickered what an angel (no i am not in love w this man)

-one weekend, hinata was out in a nearby shopping area to get some snacks for natsu cuz she wouldn’t stop bugging him about it (“you ate the rest of my candy, so you have to go get me some more!”)

-as he was leaving the store, hand in his bag, he felt a tug on his sleeve and heard a “psst”

-some higher being must’ve blessed him that day because here he was, face to face with the girl who’s been on his mind everyday for several weeks

-sdgfhjkljihyuitufjhk

-error.exe

-he opened his mouth to say something, maybe like a:

-“h-hey! you look familiar, I totally don’t know your name or think about you before i sleep at night, s-so hOWS the weather???”

-but before he could humiliate himself speak, you gave him a small smile and asked, “aren’t you the guy i took to the nurse after you crashed into that tree?”

- “y-yeah, that was me!” he stuttered out

-he was trying so hard to keep his cool, but he could feel his palms get sweaty and his body quiver with pANIC

-you stifled a giggle with your hand (hinata: so cute dfghjfgljkl) "im glad to see you’re doing well. sorry, i never introduced myself. my name’s y/n, what’s yours?”

-you extended your hand as a greeting

-yet all he could do was stare at it, dumbfounded

-the two brain cells he owned said we ouTTIE

- “my name’s hinata!” he yelled dramatically for no reason. “sorry, my hand’s a bit sweaty, otherwise i would shake yours!” so instead, he bent forward in a bow

-eyes wide at his sudden outburst and gesture, you laughed in response and waved a hand, “it’s okay, really! nice to meet you again, hinata”

-a few moments of silence passed by, he was still bending over, and you were looking at your surroundings awkwardly

-risking a glance up, he caught a nervous expression on your face, and it made his eyebrows furrow in concern

- “hey, are you okay?” he asked as he straightened his body

-nice. smooth and direct.

-you sheepishly looked at the ground and absentmindedly itched the side of your head, twirling a strand of hair with your finger

- “this is kinda embarrassing, but um... could you do me a favor? i promise it’s nothing too bad!”

-little do you know he would literally do aNYthing for you right now

- “of course!” he replied a little too quickly. “w-what is it?”

- “soooo, i ran into these guys from school earlier, and they won’t stop bothering me, especially this one guy. a lot of girls like him and think he’s cool, but he’s such a jerk! i honestly don’t know what they see in him. he’s been so insistent on dating me the past few weeks that i try to avoid him as much as possible...”

-you shyly looked up at him and he had to refrain from exploding

- “could you please, uh, pretend to be my boyfriend?”

-b-b-b-boYFrIeNd??

- “y-y-y-your b-b-b-boyf-f-friend?” he managed to sputter

-you clasped your two palms together in front of your face like a prayer and leaned forward slightly, closing your eyes. “just for today, i promise! i remember you were really sweet when i first met you, so i thought i could ask you! i need to get a few things and i know he’s still around here, so i might run into him and his friends again. also, earlier, i uh... kinda told him i had a boyfriend to see if he would back off, but i think it just made him angrier...”

-you were talking a bit too fast for hinata’s nonexistent brain to process, but he got the gist

-basically, he needed to pretend to be your boyfriend in front of some guy that wouldn’t leave you alone

-it almost sounded like a dream come true

-except for the fact this was all fake and he wasn’t actually your boyfriend

-BUT HE GOT TO TALK TO YOU AND PRETEND TO BE SOMETHING HE WANTED TO BE

-AND PROTECT YOU

-AND HE GOT TO TALK TO YOU

-but...

- “err, how do i do that?”

-you looked back up at him questioningly. “do what?”

-he looked off to the side in embarrassment. “w-well, i’ve never really dated anyone, so i’m not sure how to act and make it believable...”

-you clasped his hands making him even more flustered and jumped up in excitement

- “so you’ll do it??”

-he could only manage to nod in response

- “great! ahhhh, thank you so much! you don’t know how much i appreciate this! as for the acting... well, we just have to do couple-y things. y’know, hold hands, stand close to one another, feed each other, take pictures together, kiss, all that stuff. just follow my lead!”

-did his ears deceive him?

-did you just say

-kISS??

-he?? was going to get?? to?/ kisS yOu?//dfokgjif

-he definitely looked like an idiot right now

-wide eyes glazed over, mouth opened slightly for the soul leaving his body, a grey and sickly pale complexion, stomach twisting from nerves and butterflies

-noya and tanaka would be so jealous

-and possibly kill him so they could replace him as your pseudo boyfriend

- “hinata? what’s wrong, d-did i say something?”

-your concerned voice brought him back to earth

-gazing into your cute, confused eyes, he took a deep breath and exhaled

- ‘im acting so uncool right now! y/n needs my help!’

-he mustered up the courage to flash you a determined smile and a thumbs up. “i’ll be the best fake boyfriend you could ever ask for!”

-you could’ve sworn you felt your heart skip a beat

-you chuckled at his genuine display and smiled back. “then in that case, would you mind tagging along as i pick up a few things?”

-he could barely hold himself together when you clasped his hand and scooted close to him

-so close he could smell a pleasant scent wafting from you

- ‘i cant believe this is happening im holding her hand agAIN was this meant to be—‘

-and then his mind went blank for like the hundredth time in the last several minutes

-he followed you around, trying to steady his rapidly beating heart and ignore the warmth that remained on his cheeks

-how could you be so calm when you two were holding hands for so long?? (kags: it means she doesnt like u)

-he was both elated and terrified at the same time

-hinata couldn’t help but relish the way your fingers felt interlocked with your own

-how you slightly swung your arms together as you walked

-the way your eyes shone as you talked so casually with him

-the crinkle of your eyes and the sweet sound of your laugh when he said something that was apparently funny

- ‘fjjkdjnf i made her laugh‘

-he couldn’t help but notice the way your hair brushed your face when you leaned forward to inspect an item on a shelf

- “this is kinda cute, don’t you think?” you held up a small plush of a hedgehog

- “y-yeah, adorable!” but i’m not talking about the hedgehog

-it was no surprise to him, really, to see why you were so popular with everyone

-what’s not there to like? aside from your stunning beauty and intelligence, you were naturally charming and radiated an aura that just drew others in

-two hours passed and you both ended up sitting at a table, hands linked together across the table’s surface

- “ah, i need to answer this,” you breathed out, letting go of his hand to rummage your bag and answer your ringing phone

-ngl his hand was already getting cold and he missed your touch

-after a few nods and short replies, you ended the call and stood up

- “well, now that i’ve gotten everything, i have to head home now. ..”

- “oh... i-i mean, oh, alright! uhh, it was nice um, shopping with you!”

-his heart sank a bit now that this blissful time had come to an end

-disappointment seeped in hello darkness my old friend

-you, too, were a bit dismayed. you never expected to have enjoyed your time with him that much

-how come you never saw him at school? you definitely would’ve loved to get to know him more...

- “y-yeah, i had a good time, too! er, shopping, i mean! thanks again for following me around, though. you’re really sweet, hinata. i don’t know what i would’ve done without your help...”

- ‘come on, this is your chance!’

-boyo took another deep breath and opened his mouth to say, “y/n, could we do this again som--”

- “y/n! heyyy, i’ve been looking for you, sweet cheeks!”

-you both whipped around to see a group of guys approaching your table

-quickly, you pulled hinata close to you and whispered in his ear, “act natural.”

-nAtUral?????

-nodding, he stood up straighter and hesitantly snaked an arm around your waist

-then stiffened in fear when you were both surrounded by a group of guys who were all way taller than him

-you gave the boys a suspicious eye and scooted closer into hinata’s touch

-“what do you want? for the last time, i am not going out with you. don’t you know anything about respecting other people? besides, i’m already with someone,” you huffed

-the one in the front cocked an eyebrow at the sight of you two

-he had silky dark hair, smooth skin, a captivating gaze, and a smirk that could creep right under your skin

-“you expect me to believe small fry’s your boyfriend? him? with YOU? you could do so much better, buttercup. I could make you feel so good.”

-hinata could tell this guy was bad news. really bad news. he was the type who wouldn’t take no for an answer

- ‘ahhh, what do i do?? if i just stand here, he’s gonna keep harassing her! and possibly even hurt her...’

-the guy inched closer to you, much to your obvious discomfort as you stepped back, and he reached out to touch your cheek

-but hinata was quicker, and he slid in front of you before the guy could lay a finger on you

- “leave her alone! she obviously wants nothing to do with you.”

-the fiery glint in his eye was almost enough to make the other guy back off, but his pride wouldn’t let him

-angry, he instead grabbed fistfuls of hinata’s collar and spat in his face, “say that again, shorty.”

-hinata continued to stare into the other guy’s eyes daringly and grabbed a hold of his wrist in response

- “she said no. quit harassing a girl who’s made it clear she’s not interested, or else.”

- “or else what.”

-his grip on the guy’s wrist tightened and his eyes sharpened. “you’ll have to get through me, first.”

- “tch,” the taller male scoffed. he let go of hinata, pushing him back and glaring as he did so. then he glanced over at you still standing behind the orange-haired boy

- “bet you’ll get bored of shortstack over here soon enough. i’ll be waiting,” he remarked with a wink

-then he and his friends turned and walked away, disappearing from view

-hinata, who’s been running on pure adrenaline during this whole encounter, then collapsed on the floor from all the excitement and terror he tried to contain

- “h-hinata?!” you gasped, using your arms to support his sluggish body

- “ahhh... i thought he’d at least swing at me, but i got lucky...”

-he sounded breathless

-however, the last thing he expected was the soft press of your lips on his cheek

- “thank you, hinata. i really appreciate the way you stood up for me back there. no one’s ever really done that for me.”

-how many times can you die and come back to life in the same day?? p sure hinata’s broken the record for that by now

- “o-o-o-of course! i couldn’t just let him keep thinking that going after you like this is o-okay! i-i didn’t even do much, i-i mean you’ve been standing up to this guy for weeks, this was the least i could do to help--”

-and you were huGGING HIM

-he awkwardly returned the gesture, eyes wide with shock as he patted your back

- “i mean it. thank you. i hope he backs off, but...” you bit your lip and pulled away

- “w-what’s wrong...?”

-you sighed. “i have a feeling he’s still going to be bothering me for a while. i hate to ask this of you, but...”

- “could you pretend to be my boyfriend for a bit longer? at least until he gets the hint and stops...?”

-did this mean...

- ‘dating’ you at scHOOL???

-kageyama and tsukki will never let him live it down, he could already imagine their comments

- “why’d she pick you of all people for this job?? you’re so?? you???”

- “couldn’t she have chosen to be with someone more believable??”

-he shook his head from his thoughts

- “i-is that a no?” you asked worriedly

- “n-no! i mean, yes! i mean, ignore that! i can pretend for as long as you need, y/n.”

- “ahhh, thank you so much, hinata! i promise i’ll treat you to something in return!” you brought him back in a hug, swaying side to side in glee

-you both stood up after you let go. “we should exchange numbers!” you suggested

- ‘oh my gawd, im getting her number rdftegiuofref’

-tanaka and noya would be so proud tho

-you quickly typed down your contact information on his phone before handing it back to him. “alright, here you go, just give me a text! i have to go now.”

-you picked up your bags and gave him a parting smile. “i’ll see you at school! get home safe!”

-and with that, you were on your way

-he stood there and watched as you left, holding onto the cheek you had kissed earlier

-he couldn’t believe it

extra:

-he had texted you after he got home, giggling like a lovesick preteen (was he not thooo LOL) as he was reading your messages and sharing memes with you

y/n 乁( ⏒ ͜ʖ ⏒ )ㄏ : oh ye btw, who’s your teacher? also, where do you usually hang out? just so i know where to find you. i never c u around school for som reason

me: oh rlly? thats strange... (pretending like he doesnt hide from you lol) im usually in the courtyard during lunch or in the gym for volleyball practice, and i have class with ms. akio

y/n 乁( ⏒ ͜ʖ ⏒ )ㄏ : WE’RE IN THE SAME CLASS??? omg im so sorry, i never noticed :((

me: oh no its okay! i sit all the way in the back, so

y/n 乁( ⏒ ͜ʖ ⏒ )ㄏ : well, i’ll make sure to greet you next time :) ! we’ll be seeing each other a whole lot more now, so

-he was still smiling like an idiot when natsu burst open his bedroom door

- “where’s my candy?!”

-shit, you probably took it with all your other bags by accident

- “uhhh....”

- “shoyooooo! you owe me, big time!”

-he rolled his eyes. “yeah, yeah, i know, i’m sorry, i’ll buy you twice as much tomorrow.”

-he went back to typing away at his phone

-natsu raised her eyebrows in curiosity. “whatcha doinnn?”

- “nothing, go away.”

- “you’ve been on your phone all day!”

- “and?”

- “are you talking to a giiirrrlllll?”

- “n-no!”

- “then why are you blushinggg?? moommm! shoyo has a girlfriend!” then she added to her brother, “can i see her?? is she pretty??”

-he just groaned, putting a hand up to his face to cover his blush, and nodded

a/n: OKAY this def took me longer than i thot AAHAHA but no ragrets. ty for your request, anon, i rlly enjoyed writing this and i hope you liked it! there will be a part 2, ill try to get that done soon >.> stay tuned hehe. msg me or send me an ask if you wanna be in the taglist cx <3 have a great day or night, lovelies, wherever you are

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu reader insert #hinata x reader #hinata shoyo x reader #hinata shoyo imagine #hinata shoyo #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu scenarios #hq x reader #requests

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knjoodles · 5 years ago

Text

mismatched pages; jimin x reader

pairing: writer!jimin x writer!reader

genre: fluff, angst

word count: 1.2K

summary: you love writing. it’s your passion, it’s what you dream to do forever. up until you find out the guy you really like also happens to be the guy who’s stealing your ideas. then it sucks.

lowercase intended.

02 (a lot longer than this first chapter)

“shit!” you exclaimed, tumbling out of your dorm and into the hallway. you were 15 minutes late to class, and it takes 15 minutes to walk there. you stood in front of the elevator, tapping your foot out of pure terror and nerve. “okay,” you said to yourself, “elevator’s not fast. stairs, stairs!” you whipped towards the stairwell on the other side of the hall and dashed towards them, scurrying down the stairs and nearly tripping over at least twice.

once you reached the ground floor, you let yourself take a breather. “i need to get back into shape.” you groaned, rubbing your temples before adjusting the uncomfortable way your sock was sitting on your foot and, again, setting off to run to your class. “fuck!” you muttered. “dr. yang is going to kick my ASS!”

thanks to the cup of iced latte you downed in ten minutes, your body running on pure adrenaline, and that leftover chinese from last night, you reached your class in 7 minutes. embarrassed that you were out of breath, you spent about 30 seconds catching it before walking in.

you opened the door slowly so to not be embarrassed about your entire class eyeing you for being late and were nicely surprised as none of them even bat an eye at you. dr. yang, your professor, raised his eyebrows at you and motioned for you to make your way over to his desk before starting your classwork.

“(y/n),” he said, “can you explain to me why you were late?”

“i, um,” you fiddled with the corner of your jacket and made eye contact with him; eye contact that was way too direct to not be awkward. “i stayed up last night working on the project you assigned, and then i went to sleep late. i woke up 40 minutes ago and realized how late i was. i'm sorry, it won’t happen again.” you bowed.

dr. yang sighed, laying down the stack of papers he was filing and looked up at you. “(y/n), why are you working so hard?”

personally? you were stunned by that question. you never imagined in all your life that a teacher would ask you that question.

“i mean, i assigned that a week ago! it’s due at the end of the semester!” he chuckled, shocked that you’d start that early.

“but sir, everyone else has started!” you argued, trying justify why you slept at 5 a.m. last night.

“well, has this ‘everyone else’ stayed up so late that they’re late to the class that the grade is for?” dr. yang queried. “(y/n). i don’t want to discourage hard work and hard working people, but you already excel in this class. you don’t need to do this, and? it’s better if you don’t. you should live your life the way you want to, but please, if not for you than for your teacher, let yourself rest.”

you were appalled to say the least. you could barely say a word; your teacher just told you to stop working so hard? “i,” you started, forgetting how to form coherent sentences. “i understand, dr. yang.”

“good. now, if you were here for the first 20-something minutes of class, you’d know that there were two assignments today.” he teased as he stood up. “one assignment was to work on the semester project. but, i knew some people like you would be almost completely done with that. so, i created the second assignment: an in-class assignment, which doubles as me entering my students in a contest. you must write up a fully original short story. it can be about anything you like, any theme you want, any genre, etc. then, once it has been proofread by another student, it’ll be read by a panel of judges, who’ll be judging short stories from all over the world. the top ten writers will then move on to a sequel competition. the top three writers will be awarded a large sum of money, and, if one of my students wins, they will earn 30% extra credit on their final exam. it’s one of the toughest writing competitions out there, so great achievements deserve great rewards. and, everything will be done-” he paused, looking at you.

“wow,” you exclaimed, feeling like the wind was knocked out of you. 30% extra credit on your final exam? that’s so many points, you could drown in them. “that sounds amazing, im so glad you’re giving us this opportunity to-“

“-in partners.” he finished, watching your eyes grow like saucers and your jaw drop ever so slightly.

“in... in partners?” you stumbled over your words. ideas for this were already flying through your head. but now you have to work with someone else? in a class where you only talk to two other people? who you’ve known since you were in middle school?

“yes!” dr. yang hummed, ridding the whiteboard of tiny marks. “but, partners have already been chosen. fortunately, there’s someone else who thought they could get by by themselves.”

“sir, im not sure if i want to-"

“park jimin. he’ll be your partner.” dr. yang turned to you and smiled, placing his whiteboard eraser rag in a drawer and sitting back down in his chair.

“park jimin? you mean, that park jimin?” you motioned over to a man sitting with his nose so close to his laptop, his face was basically part of it.

“do you know any other park jimins in this class?” dr. yang asked, opening his laptop to reply to emails. “get to introducing yourself. he thinks he’s working by himself too.”

with dr. yang quite literally shoo-ing you away with silence and a hand wave, you realized that park jimin was probably going to have to be your best friend until the end of the year. and so you set off, racing up the stairs of your lecture hall, making a beeline for jimin. “excuse me?”

“mhm?” he hummed, turning to you. it would be an understatement to say that it was a change of scenery and what you thought he looked like. you barely saw him; the times you did look at him, his face was masked by his laptop. and the rest of the time, you didn’t really pay attention to him. now, getting a chance to get a good look at him, you studied his features. he had a very attractive facial structure, with high cheekbones and plump lips. his hair was a sleek black color, which really complemented his outfit of beige and dusty blue. you noted how sharp his nose was and how nicely his eyes were shaped. this made life a little easier. at least he wasn’t an eyesore.

“hi, i'm (y/n).” you held out your hand, which he stared at for a couple seconds before getting the memo that he was supposed to shake it.

“hi, (y/n),” he smiled, clasping your hand with both of his and giving a firm handshake. “do you need something from me? do you need me to write your essay for you?” he giggled.

“no,” you laughed awkwardly. “about the second assignment, the contest one?”

“yeah?” he nodded, resting his head in his right hand.

“dr. yang assigned us as partners, so here i am!”

“dr. yang assigned us as-” he paused to laugh to himself. “him letting me go solo that easily sounded too good to be true.”

a pang of embarrassment washed over you. “i mean, if you don’t want to work with me-”

“no, no! it’s not that at all,” he assured you, pulling over the chair next to him and motioning for to sit down. “i knew he’d do something like this was what i was saying. nothing against you. i’ve just met you!”

“that's good to know, i guess,” you smiled. “i know that you’re really creative, so maybe later today we can go to a library and bounce ideas off each other?”

“why don’t i treat you to lunch and get to know you better?” he asked. from how introverted he acted in class, you never expected that he’d be so social from the get-go. “i know this really good café only a 10 minute drive from here.”

“well, if you insist,” you said, his smile overtaking any sort of anxiety you felt. you rubbed your thumb on top of your palm in excitement. in huge contrast to high-school, you’re not too social right now.

“great. meet me in front of ginam hall and then we can go!” jimin promised before turning back to his laptop to work on whatever he was on his laptop.

you awkwardly stood up. was that it? dr. yang directly told you to start working on your project after he lectured you. you waited for a solid minute, quietly chewing on your lip and expecting that jimin would offer to share ideas or something.

anything?

“uh, jimin?” you blurted, the weight of your uncomfortableness outweighing your patience at that point. he turned and raised his eyebrows, lowering his laptop screen and laying his hand on the table.

“yup?” he asked, crossing his legs.

“did dr. yang not tell you our project starts now? like we have to work on it today?”

“he didn’t say we had to work on it together, today! see it this way, we both brainstorm some deas for our story; plan it out, write down a summary of the plot, make like three of them. then, when we meet up in the library when both of our classes are over we can

you almost imploded at this idea. it wasn’t bad or anything, but three plot ideas? three of them? and who said that we were meeting up after lunch? you thought jimin’s replacement for meeting up at the library was lunch! you didn’t sign up for two. “i, um,” you stuttered. “i guess that’s alright?”

jimin beamed, the large round ceiling lights making his eyes glitter. “great! i’ll see you at 12:15 at ginam, right?”

“mhm!” you hummed, flashing him a frail smile and giving two thumbs up before turning around and skittering to your partners in crime, jung hyeyeon and kang jaehyun.

“since when do you talk to park jimin?” hyeyeon pondered, drumming her fingers against the gray of her macbook.

“yeah, that was weird.” jaehyun nodded.

“stop it!” you silently scolded, sitting down in between them and fishing out your laptop, letting your bag drop under the desk and on the floor. “it’s ‘cause dr. yang put us in a group since him and i are almost completely finished with our semester project.”

“seriously? is that why you were late?” jaehyun gawked. “i could barely find a topic to report on! how did you finish so fast?”

“i mean, i'm not done done,” you explained, waving your hands as you waited for your laptop to load your project. “i just need someone to proofread so i can make edits. then i'm done.”

“so basically, you’re done.” hyeyeon snickered. “but you and jimin…” she nudged you with her elbow, raising her eyebrows.

“oh, come on!” you laughed. “don’t even start with that. i’ve known him for literally 10 minutes.”

“you guys wouldn’t even look bad!” hyeyeon defended herself, spinning on her chair in jaehyun’s direction. “right, jaehyun?”

“she isn’t wrong,” jaehyun agreed, spinning his pencil with his fingers. “it wouldn’t be ugly.”

“i only know his face and his name. it’s not like i know all of his deep, dark secrets or something. lay off, please?” you half laughed, half begged.

“fine, fine,” hyeyeon raised her hands in defeat and scuttled her way back to her desk on her swivel chair. “we’ll shut up.”

you turned your head to the other side of the room to look at jimin, typing away on his computer. you smiled to yourself, thinking about how, as different as you thought the two of you were, you were actually quite similar.

how nice.

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vaguelygeiszlerian · 4 years ago

Note

1 to 40 please OwO

rhhgjtghenrhg avery is that you (im chucking these under a readmore, i just did some so im not doing them again, there WILL be context so prepare to read)

your favorite song everyone who knows me even a little bit knows my favorite song is take on me by aha! https://open.spotify.com/track/2WfaOiMkCvy7F5fcp2zZ8L?si=Y-PQBNsYSFe30n4l-XILsw

the first song you remember loving the very first? well if i can’t do take on me again, you get... hm. well there’s two, so i’ll give you the not embarrassing one. bohemian like you, dandy warhols, a song 2 year old [redacted] went wailing round the house singing. https://open.spotify.com/track/0yEhNqCwEfy8LHUmnZoHpP?si=UDGKtdX-Qwiy2mUP88Xlbg

a song that reminds you of summer done!

a song you haven’t heard in years behind blue eyes, limp bizkit, before you say anything, and i know you will, this song is a depression song and i stand by my love for it https://open.spotify.com/track/1MTQHCpraD4S8g5PAFKzoj?si=vD8m_yjlRoq3bRd1hvQU1A

a song you can relate to right now? well, i’m mostly plucking songs from my ‘real ass bops’ playlist, if you want the one that reflects today’s jordan, you’re in for a grim treat! despicable by grandson https://open.spotify.com/track/5IPT4Noqvo7bsfbWUOHcG4?si=Cp4O-5WdS0-ZqfxxWVR01A

a song that reminds you of your favorite book ooh, i think i have a good one for this, my favorite book of all time is the taking by dean koontz, ask me why sometime, it’s a good read! it’s the end of the world as we know it (and i feel fine), r.e.m https://open.spotify.com/track/2oSpQ7QtIKTNFfA08Cy0ku?si=nfVjPGY7QaGH26uAz-88_A

a song that makes you want to dance right now? two trucks, lemon demon, don’t ask https://open.spotify.com/track/1s5A0u1dnAeVNur5nPkCpD?si=HLZERdMDQnqBxGnj31Lx3g

the best song from your favorite album heart’s a mess, from gotye’s ‘like drawing blood’, his second studio album, which is my absolute fave of all three proper ones he did, even if his first had some really amazing tracks, and making mirrors had some good ones, there’s nothing like learnalilgivinanlovin, or a distinctive sound, or, as i said, heart’s a mess! https://open.spotify.com/track/4tFkgfdi8b3aNcKNthPqIF?si=nDJafKn8QYmEgdqmlN4y4A

a song that makes you want to cry all songs make me wanna cry, but first that comes to mind is black friday (from the black friday musical soundtrack), because as an older sibling with a younger sister that the world doesn’t understand (that i don’t understand sometimes) the little aside about hannah makes me cry every single time https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LAZgYL0p2zk

a song that makes you feel young the distance, cake, it’s a song i listened to pretty much from my formative years til about... well, yesterday actually! never ceases to make me feel like im a good 15 years younger haha https://open.spotify.com/track/0fsz7tJ7UKXT9hliLfO7aE?si=caOsrX_fT4u9qARZKWSqfQ

a song that means a lot to you la vie en rose, edith piaf. i was (still am) a romantic sucker, and used to make all sorts of idealistic romantic playlists growing up, and i never knew the french (and i still dont (youre welcome em <3)) but the way she sang always made my heart tremble. and then bioshock infinite burial at sea came out, and i listened to that version of la vie en rose a million times, cried at a good half of them. anyway i love this song. https://open.spotify.com/track/3lAun9V0YdTlCSIEXPvfsY?si=zSRwBZ0AQnuyGGkjh2XmZw

the last song you listened to i’m in love with an e-girl, wilbur soot, the chorus of this song FUCKS my friends, honestly the whole song (and internet has ruined me, the sort of sequel) fucks https://open.spotify.com/track/44wBlg3Y1KSAEmaze5BXe7?si=u9mapV8STz6sqR3jg4XMiw

the last song you heard on the radio we don’t really do the radio in the car, and i dont recognise the songs on there these days anyway

the last cd/album you bought the black friday album actually! support starkid

a song to listen to on rainy days done!

a chill song no surprises, radiohead https://open.spotify.com/track/1bSpwPhAxZwlR2enJJsv7U?si=oVXsE5JiTxulLkevqL4hjA

an upbeat song push up, freestylers, ok so maybe we do listen to the radio sometimes, and i heard a snippet of this like two months ago and immediately added it to my playlist https://open.spotify.com/track/2PJq8Fr5i2S0OkcmFsTC1P?si=3K7q37zNRuCQIduRdApjWQ

a song that gets stuck in your head nobody by mitski, everyone knows that one though https://open.spotify.com/track/6bTn1ovliI0OkjUNkiMBJq?si=Vc-DUCl-RpyhRc6lcbpKgg

your favorite song from a movie somewhere only we know, keane, from my favorite scene in ‘he’s just not that into you’ which is one of my fave romcoms, ok you probably didnt need all that context, dont laugh https://open.spotify.com/track/0ll8uFnc0nANY35E0Lfxvg?si=Lov6MdiOTNGrxCiX6UdDZg

your favorite song from a musical inevitable, the guy who didn’t like musicals. i know the choreo, i know every part almost down to the pitch now, i spent hours practicing the kickline with my sister. jon matteson if you have a spare moment please teach me how to kick your legs that high https://open.spotify.com/track/2lQkaEvJa69QCzk3x6HgaA?si=QMRBYXPwRruOSU4_xBPdMA

a song that reminds you of the moon night, the altogether, no real reason here, its just got a lonesome ethereality to it https://open.spotify.com/track/3MKF7HCn6uD03jWcUB8k1R?si=gm8JKR1jQbS6Dh59WUuEwA

a song by your favorite artist/band i really can’t pick between radiohead and newton faulkner, so you get the best of both, 15 step and teardrop https://open.spotify.com/track/6dsq7Nt5mIFzvm5kIYNORy?si=9dEYby1PRKm8zozrCTGcjA https://open.spotify.com/track/7JpgJ7b5sjvo3fUfPcRlq1?si=pVfzoWtuTdO5OsbDgUnabQ

a song from the year you were born closing time, semisonic, one of the fucking best songs ever https://open.spotify.com/track/4EnkwZd0UJAuHpNMMemQaA?si=ASYNfnThR_m9kqFrloI9nw

the number one song on your birthday my heart will go on, celine dion, i guess titanic had just come out that year, but in my country, on my birthday, this was the number one, god help us https://open.spotify.com/track/33LC84JgLvK2KuW43MfaNq?si=HswubDCkQJ-x7-LM06PQUQ

your favorite love song i do adore, mindy gledhill, cliche at this point, i know, but my sister introduced it to me, played it on her ukelele, and i love her, more than i love most things, and it makes me smile even on a day where ive not done very much smiling at all https://open.spotify.com/track/6JNEDSev5Tp5VQR04SEBfV?si=BxnrZafFT3m4QkXNUN5GcA

your favorite christmas song baby it’s cold outside, lydia liza and josiah lemanski, it’s the funniest fucking song https://open.spotify.com/track/3xvFTqHmlMqKjHgczCGn2C?si=lgDMvUQZR-2lPXHINo2POQ

one song that starts with each letter of your name j: JT by jon bellion (https://open.spotify.com/track/1eftOUoeMO1JkSQQmS6jXF?si=h4yYMpXnTAiZPxJJUPv0DA) o: one more shot, spies are forever ost (https://open.spotify.com/track/0EgLq4ORQ6TMPN6rjWp3d6?si=mC3eDbJJRyCGN4fNAcbdlA) r: red signal, the mechanisms (https://open.spotify.com/track/2TWDxsjHx2rqtH197URbE8?si=XB8D-1N-SkKgmlTZOFbcfQ) d: dont judge me, janelle monae (https://open.spotify.com/track/6UQDIIEPzeduwXlZE86SOF?si=1bONXfj-SQiq79ibrXjC-A) a: as your father i expressly forbid it, lemon demon (https://open.spotify.com/track/29L9B2aDs2NhrQGbs8pf9M?si=CvVTbLtNTgGeL3iemrLVHg) n: night drive, gotye (https://open.spotify.com/track/3fuRfxHpC56uNFMOaOlMCm?si=PDAbEsi_SjK-EYDmTvjT6A)

two songs with the same/similar titles that you like i don’t care (fall out boy) / idfc (blackbear) https://open.spotify.com/track/13mM4hWNMH5KwMcwl81tXS?si=YOqg8tVXRQKXB3ANmDFjHQ https://open.spotify.com/track/6y6jbcPG4Yn3Du4moXaenr?si=CzyYs4b5QQ23azTqgv0iXw

a cover that you like better than the original song done!

a song with really good lyrics kick it up a notch, starship https://open.spotify.com/track/1r223IXiRxObMBNh3mcyWR?si=-RX3obwISfS_jk3JjzvaJg

a song with an amazing beat couple’s retreat, jon bellion https://open.spotify.com/track/7pMS0byKI7V1Mpl0SlWEDq?si=Xytu_HBrStq_zjKdia2oig

a song that you associate with the color yellow boys, lizzo https://open.spotify.com/track/1ITsmuChPVC05ogvorAyVu?si=hkoCz7ouQsyLKn8Q7KO92g

your favorite song with an action in the title (jump, dance, etc.) bite back, all american rejects https://open.spotify.com/track/4zJv4aXOIAepvhApOFoQeQ?si=qRtthyDlQvKGRErmkI8lDg

your favorite acoustic song heart is full, jon bellion https://open.spotify.com/track/6DvsjPkNcB4QoezDPtxsAB?si=vD18h70qSFG5xtrjpuy4XA

a song that motivates you take me home, country roads, john denver https://open.spotify.com/track/39q7xibBdRboeMKUbZEB6g?si=STNgdvZSQNSfqX9pENggSg

your favorite song you’ve heard live camisado, panic at the disco https://open.spotify.com/track/1LF5HQ32hztQWzADGH8ys4?si=VDjKcAo9TX-JA0kF6csqQA

a song that reminds you of your best friend ok so this one needs context (and an attached apology), when i think of best friends as a concept i think of tianna, and when i think of tianna, i think of sitting at the junior campus, huddled around my phone, tittering like twits over this stupid fucking song. (but honestly avery this applies to you too, you’re my best friend that isn’t emmy, i love you) enormous penis, da vinci’s notebook https://open.spotify.com/track/7dUCFnaGSWLH6SdDP08NLP?si=dH00DTxqTR2y3mAIEia9Lw

your favorite song from childhood radio/video, system of a down, the song my sister used to babble incomprehensibly loudly to whenever we played it in the car, the one i grew so used to i can literally hear it in my head as i type https://open.spotify.com/track/41pOIT2t1rvr2Trg1HQChZ?si=-Kyg8JSET2uDq0XGMICsMg

a song you always sing along to can’t sleep love, pentatonix, my sister and i’s favorite song to duet together, even if we haven’t quite worked out the proper parts for a two person acapella cover haha https://open.spotify.com/track/1klGbW5a9qTBFUjFfddbmU?si=Lm0FMpz5TVKddr82vUyf2w

your favorite song in a language different from your native one since i’m determined not to reuse songs, you get papaoutai, stromae (sorry about all the french, they bop babe) https://open.spotify.com/track/09TcIuH1ZO7i4vicWKoaN2?si=YTuHkj1DTgicqo7ZnqYJ0Q

#long post #but thanks much for the ask #why i keep on doing these huge lists is beyond me #Anonymous

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jieunhoc · 5 years ago

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*frantic keyboard noises* hi hello !! my name is vivi ( 21+ she/her ) and i’d like to introduce my plant-loving, cyber sweetie who also happens to be one of the bookkeepers for the ♣ ♣ ♣ — im jieun !! i’m not very good at intros bc i’m v awkward and this is my first time dipping into the cyberpunk world so i’m *trembles* extra nervous but you can find a brief overview and some facts about this girl underneath the cut !! there’s also more trivia here and her detailed background here !! please feel free to reach out to me via dms or on discord if you’re interested in plotting ;vvvv; anyway, it’s nice to meet everyone and i’m looking forward to getting to know you lovely buns !!

overview.

im jieun wasn’t born im jieun — she had actually been born as choi jiae, who was the only daughter to a v wealthy family who had been involved with arasaka for the past .. like, seventy years.

she comes from a long line of bankers, so she has a lot of knowledge when it comes to money managing, doing audits, etc — she could also probably balance your checkbook in like .2 seconds.

anyway, she lived a relatively sheltered life... didn’t really know the extent of her families involvement with arasaka and hadn’t realized how corrupt they and the other mega-corporations were until she started working for her father.

she found out that they were pretty much letting the mega-corporations do whatever they wanted with no penalties (taking out loans without interest and such), but were deliberately undermining smaller businesses.

it didn’t sit right with her so she brought it up to her father who pretty much told her to keep her mouth shut and turn a blind eye. she didn’t !!

pretty much became a disgrace to the family and got demoted to a bank teller at one of the lesser-known branches of banks

she threatened to show evidence to the government and expose the mega-corporations — but that resulted in arasaka getting kinda peeved so they put a hit out on her just so they didn’t have to deal with anything.

she managed to survive because whoever arasaka hired — well, they weren’t very thorough with the job so !!

she ends up seeking out hoc after almost dying, asking them to help save her and they did !! so now she lives at the hq and works as one of the bookkeepers.

fun facts.

after joining hoc, she changed her name to im jieun — no real reasoning for picking the name, she just liked how it sounded.

her code name is elysium, which is derived from greek mythology — it’s known as the home of the blessed after death and the final resting place for the souls of the heroic and the pure. she thought it was appropriate given her former self — choi jiae — was put to rest, yknow?

was pretty much only initiated into hoc because she has extensive bookkeeping knowledge already and knows some secrets about her father’s banks that could be useful in the future — ie. who they give loans out to and such, layout details, etc.

there's a good chance she's not entirely trusted by everyone in hoc because not only is she newer to the cards, but she was technically associated with their enemies ( even though she really didn’t have any idea what was really going on at first ).

she usually keeps to herself — some might call her shy, some might call her suspicious. honestly, she’s just nervous she’s going to say the wrong thing and they’re going to kick her out. overall she is v nice tho !!

she has a childlike wonder about her — maybe it’s from being sheltered her entire life or maybe it’s just a natural part of her personality, but she’s amazed by the simplest things. she’s very curious about things, which is what got her into this whole mess to begin with. think of it like.. she has book smarts, but probably lacks some common sense.

loves plants !! she can’t take care of them (smothers them in love.. literally.. she watered them like 40 times today) and they end up dying within a week, but she loves plants and has a bunch around her side of the office.

some wanted connections.

- close friend(s) !! maybe someone who joined around the same time as her or someone who just tends to look after her and makes sure she’s okay. - someone who doesn’t trust her !! they think she’s secretly giving information to arasaka or something idk. - someone who knew her before she joined !! maybe they used to be associated with her family or just knew of them. - someone who wants to break her out of her shell a little !! maybe they lured her out of the office with the promise of a new succulent plant.

that’s all for now !! jieun is still a work in progress, so i’m sure this will be updated as time goes on and she develops a little more but askljdf; thanks for reading thus far !!

#› 　　 — ENCRYPTION CODE: 007 . / ooc.#hoc:intro #me: plays .hack sign music

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mittensmorgul · 5 years ago

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I’m rewatching 13.15, A Most Holy Man, right now, and... and I remember when it first aired. The reaction was largely “meh,” or “the noir format doesn’t really do it for me and the episode was kinda boring overall.” It’s possibly the s13 episode I have the least amount of posts for on my blog. It was largely skimmed over as mostly irrelevant, with the only takeaway being:

A. They got the macguffin they needed to progress the A plot by the end of the episode

and

2. They really should’ve cut that scene of Dean going on about how he’d kill everyone who tried to steal his car...

But... this was a Dabb episode. I wrote this post back in May, but I think it merits an additional look now:

https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/184946657745/so-im-still-out-ahead-of-the-tnt-loop-but-i

Because this single episode functions as a microcosm of their entire lives, at least thematically, if not in a 1:1 fashion. I mean, it is just a 42 minute episode. There were only so many twists and layers they could reasonably shove in, and the Rule Of Three is a convenient metric for demonstrating the pattern in narrative shorthand that invites us to consider the unspoken “etc. etc. ad nauseum” ourselves.

I’d go into the entire structure of the episode, but I’m hoping that just explaining the outcome-- after reading the post I linked above-- everyone will be able to see the parallel itself without me having to write 5k words on the subject today. :P

Let’s start with the exchange at the end of the episode that prompted this realization. Because it’s a bit of chicanery:

FATHER LUCCA: I think I got shot. [DEAN lifts up FATHER LUCCA’s shirt to see only a little blood.] DEAN: Looks like he just grazed you. A few more inches to the left and, uh... FATHER LUCCA: It’s a miracle. [SAM and DEAN, with FATHER LUCCA behind them, search the warehouse and find GREENSTREET still hiding.] GREENSTREET: I didn’t know this would happen. I… I’ll give you anything you want, huh? DEAN: The blood, where is it? GREENSTREET: It, uh… doesn’t exist. SAM: You… what? Wait a second. You told us– GREENSTREET: Exactly what you wanted to hear. It was just a bit of… DEAN: Chicanery? GREENSTREET: Exactly. DEAN: Well… chicane this. [DEAN punches GREENSTREET to the ground.] ACT FIVE EXTERIOR – WAREHOUSE – NIGHT [There are police cars outside the warehouse. A policeman leads GREENSTREET to a car and sits him inside.] GREENSTREET: No, no, no, no. Wait. Don’t – you – you – you’ve made a mistake.

For a refresher, Greenstreet was the author of this entire bit of chicanery. For a while, it appeared as if it was actually each of the other people involved:

Margaret Astor, the first person we meet, and also the one APPARENTLY holding all the cards when they walk into the final deal, who ends up backstabbed (well shot in the back anyway, close enough) by her own assistant

she sent them to Greenstreet, who introduced the term “chicanery” to the narrative, which I’m gonna focus on next, because despite all his plotting, his narrative didn’t end the way he wanted (he’s getting hauled off to jail, but heck, at least he didn’t end up dead like most of the rest of these conspirators...)

Greenstreet sent them to Scarpatti, with the partially true information that he’d been the one to have the artifact stolen in the first place, only to learn that it had been stolen from his man in turn...

(and remember, the skull isn’t actually what Sam and Dean need... it’s the currency they believed they needed in order to trade for what they DO actually need... it’s a bit of a chicane... which I’ll get to... sorry for this meandering on the way to the conclusion, but this little side journey is 100% relevant... you’ll see what I mean in a minute)

While investigating Scarpatti’s side-detour, they end up having to investigate a murder, and inadvertently stumble over Father Lucca Camilleri... but Sam and Dean have no idea that they’re now traveling through this episode with the thing THEY actually need. But rather than just... take what they need because that fact hasn’t been revealed to them yet, or even continue to pursue the currency they believe they need to trade for the elusive thing they need, they selflessly choose to do the morally right thing despite believing that in doing so they are forfeiting their chance to get the macguffin they need.

Ain’t it just Winchesters vs The Cosmos on a microscopic level?

Because one thing I’ve learned about Dabb as showrunner is that his absolute favorite thing is gleefully pointing back at canon and explicitly clarifying things. It’s not always obvious, he tends to be incredibly subtle, but if you’re looking for it, it’s impossible not to see in pretty much all of his writing. He LOVES messing with prior perception, and making us work for the satisfying moment where all the pieces fall into place.

Chicanery and the chicane. THAT ITSELF IS A CLARIFICATION. From vague to specific. Because “a chicane” is a very different thing than “chicanery.” And it’s all a bit of a winding deception.

For reference, the definitions of these two very different words:

chi·can·er·y /SHəˈkān(ə)rē/ noun, the use of trickery to achieve a political, financial, or legal purpose. "an underhanded person who schemes corruption and political chicanery behind closed doors" synonyms: trickery, deception, deceit, deceitfulness, duplicity, dishonesty, unscrupulousness, underhandedness, subterfuge, fraud, fraudulence, legerdemain, sophistry, sharp practice, skulduggery, swindling, cheating, duping, hoodwinking

and

chicane (/ʃɪˈkeɪn/) noun, a serpentine curve in a road, added by design rather than dictated by geography. Chicanes add extra turns and are used both in motor racing and on roads and streets to slow traffic for safety.

What the definition of “chicane” doesn’t provide is that in auto racing, a chicane isn’t seen as a “safety” measure, but an obstacle. If you’ve ever watched road racing, the chicane is where a lot of drivers wipe out. It’s a choke point where everyone HAS to slow down, but when you’re RACING each other, the objective is to remain out in front, you know? Jockeying for position, trying to get through the obstacle as quickly as possible to get back to direct racing toward the finish line. So while a chicane literally slows the racing by design, forcing drivers to adapt to the physical reality of safely navigate through the pinch point while not wrecking themselves, they need to maintain absolute focus to retain their position, as well. It’s not about slowing down for safety but about finding the balance point between “safely navigating through without wrecking myself or being wrecked by the other cars trying to achieve the same objective I am” and “but we’re still racing and I can’t let anyone pass me so I’m still gonna push it as fast as I can while still conforming to the laws of known physics.” It’s... difficult.

THREE TIMES in this episode, they use the word “chicanery” before Dean clarifies it to “chicane.” For reference, out of the other 306 episodes of this show that exist at the time of writing this post, they’ve used “chicanery” a grand total of ZERO other times. Seems significant, yes?

In the same way the show has frequently used Wizard Of Oz imagery to convey these same points, with the reminder in the end of the “you had the power inside you all along” sort of themes, this episode takes it one step further. Which... logical considering the nature of the spiral narrative, that when it comes around again, the circumstances aren’t exactly the same. Think of it in terms of that racetrack with the chicane.

In the case of the plot of this episode, a similar comparison can be drawn to The DaVinci Code, since through most of the wild goose chase running through all the games and puzzles, the guy is literally traveling with the object he seeks. It just doesn’t become obvious, like with Dorothy and her Ruby Slippers, until they’ve worked their way through all the puzzles and subterfuge along the way. As Dean says in Scoobynatural when Sam points out that if he knows how the episode ends, why don’t they just get to the point already, and Dean replies “Because sometimes it’s about the journey.” Rather intuitive meta observation about the point of the narrative structure, yes?

Back to our road race analogy now, after passing through the chicane chicane. Every lap, the drivers are driving through the same essential course. The shape of the road doesn’t change in the most fundamental way. The same parts are still paved, the walls around the edges don’t move, etc. But each time they drive around, other conditions vary. Their tires wear down so their traction changes. Heck, the drivers themselves are wearing out physically and mentally. Maybe a dude’s just thirsty or has an itch on his nose or just has to pee real bad. Maybe the wind speed or direction has changed. Maybe the sun has moved so different turns become more tricky with a glare in their eyes. Their engines are slowly shifting as wear and tear of operating at a high performance level alters performance. Their brakes might be wearing down. They may be in need of more fuel and are driving more conservatively, or may have just gotten new fuel or new tires or made some other alteration to their car that shifts not only their ability to go faster, but changes how they handle corners, etc. But there’s also the factor of all the OTHER cars driving around them. Maybe they’ve hit the chicane all by themselves because they’re out ahead of the pack (or trailing far behind it). Maybe they’re clustered tightly together with other drivers. Maybe there was a wreck that altered the road surface... cleaning up fuel/oil spills, sand or dirt having “spilled” out onto the road surface, maybe a slight drizzle started making it more slippery, or even random trash has blown from the stands into the road, or debris from a wreck-in-progress hampers their progress. There are SO MANY FACTORS at play that make each lap around the course an entirely different experience, you know?

Same with the spiral narrative. The major landmarks might be similar, but everything else is new.

And the moment Dean says “chicane this” and punches the author of this series of events in the face, that’s basically 14.20, yes?

They’re tired, and they’re on the last lap, and they’ve been through this chicane so many times now. And they’ve just been told that after every lap, Chuck refused to wave the checkered flag. They kept reaching the finish line over and over, only to discover it was also the starting line and the race was still going. And each time through Chuck’s big chicane, he’d deliberately change those variables, so the more experience they gained on the track, there’d always be a bit of new debris to navigate, a new difficulty level added.

And now in 14.20, it’s like they finally caught him in the act of throwing thumbtacks down on the road, you know? They caught him at his tricks.

And like, to use a favorite metaphor of Dabb’s, it’s like the roadrunner and the coyote. Only the roadrunner had always known all along that the coyote was laying traps for him and always found the most hilarious ways to foil the coyote’s plans and turn it back around on him. It took them 14 seasons for TFW to finally pull a roadrunner.

This has always been Dabb’s ending, because it’s actually the story he has been telling all along. The spiral’s broken, and instead of continuing lap after lap with no end in sight, they’ve finally realized they can just... stop driving in carefully paved loops and drive in a direct line to the finish.

(and maybe the only way to make it to the finish is to pave their own road around all of Chuck’s chicanery... it’s gonna be some heavy lifting and some rough off-roading, but it’s the only way to get off the track to victory lane)

(apologies, this is the sort of place my brain goes when Mr. Mittens is watching nascar at Road America in the background... but it’s super apt, and full disclosure, I started writing this about an hour before he turned the tv on. I was already on this road course >.>)

#spn 13.15 #spn 14.20 #dabb vs cars #LOL I SWEAR THAT HAS ALWAYS BEEN MY DABB TAG >.>#it's spirals all the way down #the scheherazade of supernatural #this is so meta it's actually hurting my brain and i need to go lie down now #s14 hellatus rewatch #if you say 'mysterious ways' so help me i will kick your ass #welcome to the final lap please buckle up we're gonna be cutting through the grass now #spiders georg of the tnt loop

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just-some-random-blogger · 6 years ago

Text

Wheel Of Fortune

EXO Park Chanyeol x Reader + others Characters: EXO Summary: Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. Chanyeol was head over heels for you but he was 100% in denial that you liked Kyungsoo. Word Count: 1k+ Warnings: CRACK FOOL. RUN IF YOURE NOT HERE FOR THAT, jealousy, bottled emotions, fluff ending, etc.

A/N: this was TOO FLUFFY tbh. i wanted to hurt myself but it turned into fluff but oh well

let’s start at the beginning

your parents were introduced by mutual friends and started talking on the phone

okay kidding that’s too far

right

so you worked at SM

and is the maknae of a seven member coed group that debut a year after BigBang and a year before SHINee

(so 2007)

which considering the fact you were younger than Sehun by a couple of months meant you debuted at 10

just roll with it cos ITZ MY VERY SPECIFIC PLOT DMMIT

wheLP

the members were all exactly one year apart and the members from eldest to youngest,, the sequence was a guy (@ 30 yrs old), a girl (29), a guy (28), a girl (27), a guy (26), a guy (25), then you (24).

I KNOW I DONT NEED THIS BUT THIS IS HOW I IMAGINED THIS PLOT IT DMMIT

since you were basically a sunbae at SM even tho u were a smol child you wanted to show your support to your hoobaes

So a day before their debut as a whole group, you, along with the eldest member of your group, who was the leader, visited EXO in the dance studio and gave moral support

You were A BIG FAN and it showed

not that you were hiding it in the first place

your leader was HIGH KEY embarrassed by you, but low key thought it was kinda cute how excited you were for this song

so dUH EXO dances growl for you

anD YOU NEARLY SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUST BECAUSE OF HOW PERFECT EVERYTHING WAS

Luhan’s voice

Baekhyun’s attitude

Sehun’s resting bitch face

eeeerrrrrthing

YOU WERE ON THE FLOOR SCREAMING

literally

and Junmyeon thought you were adOrAbLE

“I think she malfunctioned,” your leader gave a face and pushed you on the shoulder to see if you were still breathing as you let out a silent scream

“CAN YOU GUYS DO IT ONE MORE TIME”

?????

Jongin was too out of breath to fight you

but lol u know what

they did dance again for you

BECAUSE YALL HAD THE CUTEST LIL FACE AND YOU WERE LIKE 16 SO

after that your band and exo were pretty much in one group

like hella tight

you were bsicly conjoined twinss

You could be at an award show and your table would be abandoned because you decided to sit with exo or vice versa

HYPING EACH OTHER WAS NOT EVEN HYPE ANYMORE BECAUSE IT WAS LIKE YOU GUYS WERE RABID OR SOMETHING WTF

!!!!CALM!!!!!DOWN!!!!

like you + your group to them:

“thtAS MY CHILd!”

“DID YOU SEE YIXING AND HIS HIPS FUCK YOU BITCH!”

“HE WAS RUDE. THAT WAS RUDE. THAT’S NOT ALLOWED”

“GET OFF THE STAGE SLUT”

“WWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP BITCH!”

“~~~that was sooooooo sOFYT”

“CHEN STFU! YOU NEED TO STOP USING THAT DAMN VOICE OF YOURS JONGDAE. THATS ILLEEEEEGAL!”

“myY HERT!”

“OPPA *cries in korean* PLESS!”

“WHAT IS THIS FUCKERY!!!!!?“

‘iN fRonT oF MY sALaD”

“PA$$ THE H01Y W4T3R”

“NO KAI. BAD KAI. STTOOOOPPPP.”

you @ baekyun

baekyun @ you

thIS IS A CHANYEOL HEADCANON BUT I LOOK AT THIS FUCKIN MORON WHO I HATE SO MUCH SOMEONE SAVE HIM FROM HIS IDIOCY

them to you + your group:

“first of all fuck, second FUCK”

“wh-- whT WHAS THAT HIP MOVEMENT. U ARE 4 YRS OLD”

“HE did t h a t.”

“NOOOOOONNNNNNNNNAAAAA ch0k3 me”

“I CANT HEAR YOU OVER U BEING SUCH A HOE”

“i cant beLIEVE THIS STADIUM IS SO QUIET” *ears are actually bleeding*

“NOt TODaY S4T4N”

“I DIDNT ASK FOR THIS”

“how does this have 300M views????? ONLY 300M I--”

“GAAAAAHHHHH WHAT WAS THAT MOVE WHT WAS IT”

“my soul has been touched”

“this is TOOOOOOOO much ma lord”

“DID YOU JUST RIP YOUR SHIRT OFF?“

“TAKE YOUR SHIRT OFF!”

“ASDFRTYUJM ive been shot”

ya dig

it’s not verbal abuse if they can’t hear you cause of the bass and the fact your on stage performing

but like

you guys did everything together

practiced

ate

shopped

toured

pranked

T O G E T H E R

like who else in SM mattered

SHINee who?

JK YOUWERE A SHAWOL THROUGH AND THROUGH

you reassure Minho everytime unless you wanted to die that day

YOu EVEN FANGIRLED OVER TAEMIN’s MOVE WITH MINSEOK

BUT YOU OBVI you had MORE THAN ENOUGH ROOM TO BE AN EXO-L and an elf and a cassie and a so-won and DONT FOrget a vip and a---

you get the point

ANYWAY

as you were close with everyone you had a special bond with every individual

YALL STILL TEXT WITH YA BOY KRIS

yOU WENT ON A SHOW IN CHINA WITH LUHAN

TAO LEAVES PUKE COMMENTS ON YOUR INSTA POSTS

my ot12

and as much as you say you are equally close with everyone

errbody knows that be bull the size of russia

yall caNNOT dENy that you and chanyeol have the same crack powder on your philtrums

LIKE KYUNGSOO CANNOT LIVE WHEN YOU TWO ARE TOGETHER

LET HIM LIVEEEEEE

this moment must never die

ya boy be mindin his own business then

BAM BITCH

you and chanyeol be makin D.O. cray af

rest assured he HAS thought of how he’d kill both of you

ANd that’s why chanyeol loves you

like he decided he liked you the moment you lost your breath laughing when he threw a rubber duck at Kyunggsoo’s head, making it squeak in the most demented way no one thought possible

but he knew he loved you when you helped him lighten up on one of his dark days

you had that kind of effect on people

i mean all you did was sit down with him, both of your backs leaned up against each other’s, head occasionally leaning against the other’s head or shoulder, and played some nothings on the guitar and ukulele

but that was more than enough

you were there with him

and that’s what mattered

But literally the moment he accepted his feelings for you

he began to notice something he felt 100000% dumb for not seeing before

the way you laugh when Kyungsoo says a lame-ass joke

the way you always hug him from behind

you did that with literally everyone you were close with sure,

but Chanyeol noticed you did it with him more

and he 3

there was also the way you were just always winding up next to Soo when he was around, like he had some sort of magnet on him

and how you just liked poking his cheeks, begging him to show his dimples

which were really faint like gurl--

chANYEOL HAD DIMPLES TOO

CHANYEOL HAS DIMPLES

why daheq did you like his close to nonexistent ones?????????

????????

okay you liked poking Lay’s dimples more

look at my boy, who i love with burning passion ANDWILL DESTROY SM FOR BECAUSE HE JUST WANTS TO BE WITH HIS BAND SM SM SM!!!!! CHINA KOREA POLITICS FK ALL YALL

and suho

and chen

anD FINE--

yeah you did poke his too

literally anyone who remotely has dimples tbh

BT WHY KYUNGSOO

ads;ajsd;lasjdkas #jelly

so chanyeol decides to ask someone about it

so he obviously goes to his wisest hyung

but the day he wants to talk to Suho, YOU WERE ON A DATE WITH HIM

like a date but not a date date he could tell

BUT A DATE NONETHELESS AND HE WAS KINDA JELLY

so he goes to Baekhyun for some fucking reason

and he’s like “omg u like her i couLDnt FUCKING TELL FROM ALL THE HEARTS IN TH AIR”

instant regret

but like Baek did give him some advice

like 5% was advice

the other 99% was him screaming to just be a man and tell her

so chanyeol is like, “STFU.... also she likes kyungsoo so fml”

and for a hot second Baekhyun has nothing to say

BAEKHYUN HAS NOTHING TO SAY

“idek dude. this is why i flirted with her openly”

Chanyeol punched him for saying that

but he decides he’s going to tell you after like 231109 years

cos Jongdae said you don’t like Kyungsoo and that he’s sure of it

Chanyeol asked how he was sure and he was just all like

“she had a crush on Sungmin hyung before and DID NOT act like that at all.”

That made Chanyeol a lot more hopeful

So he just went for it

and asked if you wanted to get lunch

and then after eating, you guys walked back

and he just sort of blurted it out

“Joahaeyo.”

you just looked at him and chuckled, “Thank you. I like you too, Yeolie.”

bitch are you for real rn

before Chanyeol could clarify, your walking slowed, “I’ve known for a while now.”

wait

w h a t

“Minseok oppa told me.”

?????????? uhm HOW DID HE KNOW

Chanyeol’s hands were waterfalls atm, “Why did he tell you?”

Your face starts burning red and chanyeol cant help but think of it as a bad sign

“I told him I liked him...”

“... and he said he can’t reciprocate because he knows you like me, and that he can’t do that to his dongsaeng.”

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

cool story bro

you liked someone in EXO that was NOT him

cool cool cool

I GUESS CHEN WAS RIGHT

THANKS

wait did that mean chanyeol was this obvious

wait did that mean chanyeol ruined your chances with his hyung

wait was this why you cried that one time

WaiT WAS THIS WHY YOU HUNG AROUND KYUNGSOO

BECAUSE WHENEVER MINSEOK WAS IN THE ROOM, YOU WOULD GET KINDA STIFF AT A POINT AND KYUNGSOO MAKE A JOKE TO MAKE YOU LAUGH

WASTHIS WHY YOU TWO HUNG OUT MORE

WHY HADN’T HE NOTICED

AND IF EVERYONE ELSE DID

WHY DIDNT THEY TELL HIM

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chanyeol frowned and called out your name, proceeding to apologize

“Wae? why are you sorry? did you tell minseok to say that to me?“

he couldn’t feel mushy and weird at what you said

“YA dont tell me youre going to be weird around me too. It’s bad enough Minseok oppa distanced himself a bit.”

Chanyeol couldn’t help but be angry, sad, protective, and annoyed all at once at what you just admitted to him

“I’ll tell him to stop.”

You pouted, “you don’t have to tell anyone anything, chanyeol.”

“yes but you don’t deserve to feel awkward around anyone.”

“yes but that was minseok oppa’s choice.”

“yes but he was only doing that because he’s my hyung and he’s dumb.”

“yes but--

OU KNOW WHAT WHY DONT WE ALL JUST BE AWKWARD AROUND EACH OTHER”

and so you walked forward fast and tried to ignore chanyeol

Chanyeol, with his freakishly long legs caught up with you though

he caught your arm

“What tf are you doing?“

“Ew dont talk to me its awkward. im awkward. your awkward.”

Chanyeol laughed. “yaaaaa, why do i like you?

“THAT’S WHAT IM THINKING HO”

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