#i spent a week on these PLS
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people seemed to like my grown up designs so i put these together ( it was about time i posted references anyway )
#plus little notes for my thought processes + specific details i wanted to highlight#havent made a guide to maxs tattoos yet but ill mix smth up eventually#for now know he is COVERED in ink#camp camp#cc max#cc nikki#cc neil#soudont art#im nervous but i hope ppl like them 😭 i tried#i spent a week on these PLS#ALSO I REALIZE I SAID NEIL WAS 6’1 BEFORE#that’s actually prestons height!! i mixed them up 😭 so sorry
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Delivering mail to the furthest corners of the server ✉✈
#IF YOURE WONDERING WHERE IVE BEEN BTW THIS HAS TAKEN UP SOOO MUCH OF MY TIME IM SORRY I BECAME A HERMIT#i spent two weeks learning cpm and blockbench to make this! every animation is made from scratch#there's still a lot more to do too! but im very happy with how it's turned out#I also whipped up an origins datapack that allows people to ride on my back and to scale the eye height and stuff properly#like uhh. i still wanna make a blink anim. and a low health state that makes an engine catch fire. and clean up some anims im unhappy with#if anyone knows how the animated textures function works on cpm btw... pls let me know ;_;#big shoutout to hazel for helping me with a lot of the technical issues btw! <3#minecraft#modded minecraft#mineblr#aberrations#oc:strata#airplane dragon
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the s*n
#chonny jash#chonnys charming chaos compendium#:3#cj mind#bro was mad#cw gunshot#cccc fanart#cccc#i spent a week on this pls like it /j
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#pls reblog#heyyyy guys remember when I said I would work on an animation??#well here yall go!!#i spent a week on this and it LOOKS LIKE SHITTTT#DUDE#I AHET IT SM BRUH#WHYYYYY#ughhhh anyways I hope u guys at least enjoyed it hhfhfhfhf#this is crucial to lore dont dont ask ok#regretevator#animation
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WHEN I TELL YOU IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO GET THE RIB CAGE RIGHT BRUH—ISTG
BUT NOW IM PROUD WITH HOW THIS IS COMING OUT SO FAR THO
#quaestor valdemar#the arcana valdemar#valdemar#the arcana#the arcana fanart#fanart#artists on tumblr#art#artwork#digital art#my art#my artwork#medibang#god pls help me#I spent like two weeks struggling on the rib cage LMFAO#but anyway yeah I really like their route on Dorian so far AAAAAA
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More Azula and Lu Ten stuff because I grew to like this au more than I thought I would 👍
#atla#avater the last airbender#azula#princess azula#lu ten#swap au#atla lu ten#atla azula#atla swap au#when I tell u this piece took so long it’s unreal#probably because my school decided to pack all tests in one week#but that’s besides the point#atla fanart#art#artist#idk what else to tag#pls like I spent too long on this#🙏#fire nation
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missing paul's self-sprays today :(
#found this in my drafts today from the beginning of august aaaaa#i miss him so so so much#its insane#please baby boy come back :(#and pls spray champagne on yourself again#also guys i finished a paul blurb today aaaa!!!!!!#i have kinda fall break next week so hopefully ill be able to write a bit#ive been missing it like crazy#but school is so much fun so ive spent a lot of time studying and just hanging out in school even when class is over#anywayssss hope everyone is doing super well <333#f1#f2#paul aron#formula two#formula 2#hitech gp
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[OC] 1hr paintover of an old artwork ✨ (comparisons under the cut!)
2020 -> 2021 -> 2024
if there's one thing y'all should know about me, is that i'm never satisfied with my own work. esp if my work involved ocs lol!!!!
#i like painting over old art.. makes me feel good to see the improvement#anywho! i just wanted a break from the fanart stuff and i'm still mentally recuperating from all the going out and social events last week#like pls i need my sPACEEEE I NEED TO BE ALONE FOR A WHILE PLS HSAHSHASHASHA#it's why i spent the entire day and the day before playing stardew valley.. sorry ahsahshash#my art#2024#my ocs#maria williams#oc#ocs#original character#original characters#concept art#character art#character design#art#original art#digital art#digital drawing#sketch#doodle#digital painting
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happy halloween valentines day!
#kaylee.txt#vintage valentines#valentines#halloween#i spent a night digging around for various spooky vintage valentines a couple weeks ago#so now i hand them to u all<3#i really like the 'don't scare me' one its ironically so fucking scary#*#i'm fairly sure all of these are vintage mass-produced valentines but if i'm wrong and any are contemporary art pls lmk so i can credit >#> the artists of them or remove those!! not looking to do any art theft here
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It makes me feel very weird hanging out with people who are in monogamous romantic relationships. I dunno how to articulate it exactly. Some kind of combination of “I don’t want that, I don’t understand that, it’s weird to me, it makes me uncomfortable to witness and even more uncomfortable to participate in” and at the same time “I want intimacy, I don’t want all my friends to go do this thing I can’t do and leave me behind, I feel left out, I wish these gestures didn’t have romantic connotations attached so maybe I’d feel like I’m allowed to do them too even though your partner is right there”. There’s a sense of internal conflict between these two emotions; this sense of repulsion and this sense of jealousy (for lack of a better word) - cuz how can you be jealous of something you really really don’t want?
Even having been in monogamous romantic relationships myself, it felt icky to me for the same reasons, as if seeing myself become what I dislike. I always felt shame about them, I didn’t know how to be proud of having a partner. It’s just not for me.
The whole thing is very internal. My friends are cool, they’re not ditching me at all. If for any reason we are growing distant it’s because I’m not good at keeping in contact. But it’s like they’re all slowly moving into the “next stage of life” (planning their lives around each other, operating as a unit, settling down) and I’m still sitting at the previous one with no desire to follow them. It’s not just that I’m not ready yet; I don’t aspire to what they have at all, and yet I still don’t want to be left behind. And that feels very weird, and confusing, and a bit bitter.
Alienating. That’s the word I was looking for.
#I spent ages writing this and I still don’t feel like I said it right#pls don’t tell me ‘it doesn’t have to be that way’ or ‘you just need better friends���#or ‘the life you want is possible’#I know#I really know#this is just about my feelings in this moment#I’ll be 25 in a couple weeks#almost 8 years since I started this blog and I’m still growing up aro#turns out growing up doesn’t stop when you’re grown ig#about me#if this post breaks containment I’ll turn reblogs off cuz I’m not tryna get hate anons from ppl in relationships who feel attacked
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Happy (belated) Birthday Kuniko 🌸
#my art#yohaji#Spent so much time on this ;-;#(Please notice the relection in the water pretty pls)#Wanted to draw this after i finished the renren arc a few weeks ago but it kinda lined up with her birthday so i'll call it a birthday art#a terrified teacher at ghoul school#youkai gakkou no sensei hajimemashita#KunikoUtagawa#I love her so muchhhh!!!
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I've been getting into Sherlock and about to start the final season. Should I be scared?
#Like I just spent all week crying about the 3rd season#what chaos should I be expecting next?#pls tell me they kiss#wdym ppl find benadryl cabbage patch hot. WDYM#bbc sherlock#big black cock??????#okay...#sherlock holmes#sherlock fandom
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oba yozo and warped perception
ok heres an absolutely giant analysis (its 2k words ermm) that i wrote in an essay format! i cant rlly say im proud of its strength as an essay but i do like the concepts i brought up here so i might eventually redo but it took me literally a week so i cant not post it
yozo is my little guy i want to put him under a microscope and study him like a bug/aff
its under the cut :]
TW: su1cide, s3xual a$sault, misogyny (all mentioned, not depicted)
Osamu Dazai’s No Longer Human, a Japanese literary classic, is told through the writings of the protagonist, Oba Yozo. Yozo is a deeply traumatized and alienated human being, and his perception of both himself and others is distorted by his traumatic experiences.
Yozo makes the judgement very early on in his life that he lacks what constitutes humanity. He separates himself from humans because of this, but unable to renounce their society as he is, he instead opts to display a public facade of light-heartedness and, on occasion, foolishness. Yozo feared that which he did not understand, and he therefore feared people, finding them and their society riddled with unspoken societal guidelines, utterly incomprehensible. (It’s likely that Yozo only feared the unknown so much and only came to this conclusion due to his intelligence, which he is mentioned to have, at least academically. Generally, it would be extremely unlikely that Yozo is an unintelligent character, seeing as how often he pokes and prods at the philosophical and existential.)
Yozo finds himself inhuman, due to how he fails to understand that which humans seem to be born into this world understanding. Additionally, he lacks something in his nature that he believes to be absolutely inherent to humans: a deep, animalistic anger. Yozo never describes being angry throughout the book; he only fears, and fears, and fears some more, until he fears every last thing in this world. It’s likely that this immense fear came only as a result of the life he led. Even in his teenage and adult years, he gauges himself to not be seen as a friend or even a person to some of the people he knew, thus determining that he had never made a friend. And, having been sexually assaulted at a very young age, it’s only natural that Yozo would believe human beings to be cruel and animalistic by nature, hence justifying his fear.
The childhood trauma that Yozo suffered also caused further complications in his life, outside of the obvious feelings of needing to please in order to be ‘safe’. Yozo seems to have difficulty processing/facing outright his emotions and traumatic events, his flowery style of writing carefully dancing around describing exactly what happened to him. I doubt that Yozo has truly suppressed the memories of his childhood, but he at least doesn’t process them correctly. Yozo also does this in regards to things that remind him of his trauma or, in other words, trigger him.
It’s important to note that the presentation of No Longer Human is inherently biased. There is not a single scene told from objective reality, even in the prologue and epilogue which aren’t told in Yozo’s perspective. While the unreliable narration is pivotal to exploring the recesses of the human mind, it’s impossible to grasp exactly what actually happened at any given point. Had Yozo outright lied about certain things? Were there times when he had forgotten important memories that eventually constituted his personality? Yozo himself even admits to having a side of him that exaggerates for effect, not even to his benefit, and it leads a reader to wonder just how much was affected by that trait of his.
In the epilogue, one of Yozo’s acquaintances says that the way that his life turned out was due to his father: “it’s his father’s fault.” However, Yozo barely talked about his father in the book, save for mentioning his fear of being reprimanded, which was par for the course for anyone that Yozo spoke to. Although his father did affect the way that Yozo lived, with the information that Yozo gave, it would be impossible to say accurately that it was his father’s fault.
Although it’s tempting to instead say that Yozo’s unfortunate circumstances only worsened because of him, it’s important to note that Yozo demonizes himself endlessly. Yozo feared humans to the point of decreeing all on his own that he was disqualified from their race, but he still sought out love from human beings. He still wished for connection, but because of Yozo’s deep-seated self-hatred which came only as a result of seeing the most distasteful parts of humanity as a young child and feeling alienated from that, Yozo ended up separating himself. However, Yozo states over and over again that he fakes things, that he has a facade, that he only plays the clown and is not one, but it’s impossible to tell whether Yozo was truly the faker he thought that he was or if that was truly his personality and he simply didn’t know it.
No Longer Human also has misogynistic themes, at times. While Yozo states that this is because he finds women to be boring, it’s possible that he is, once again, being unreliable, and the true reason that he has an aversion to women is because he experienced sexual assault at the hands of women from a young age and, many times throughout his life, he has experienced love with women that failed to come to proper fruition, hence causing his aversion to women and becoming attached to them.
Yozo spends the majority of the book fairly lost, not understanding humans, not understanding himself. So who is to say that Yozo was truly a liar, or that he simply thought that he was? It’s possible that Yozo only internalized the concept that he was a calculating, deceptive young man in order to make the thought that humans would never love him easier to swallow.
Yozo being the intelligent and alienated sort of person that he is, he comes across as slightly conceited at times, seeing as he’s rather opinionated, and internally refers to one of his acquaintances as an utter fool completely lacking in artistry, for example. With this acquaintance, he plays two word games, and his opinions can tell us quite a bit about him. The first game is about tragic versus comic nouns. Yozo believes that, just as pronouns can be divided between masculine, feminine, and neutral, nouns can be divided between tragic and comic. It’s primarily a game of connotation (for example: steamship and steam engine are tragic, while bus and streetcar and comic).
Of the highlights of this game is that Yozo’s first opinion is that death is comic, while life is tragic. This is a reflection of his unique view on death, specifically him seeing it as a sort of cathartic relief, in comparison to life. Yozo views his own life, particularly, as shameful, making it tragic.
The second game is about antonyms. Yozo’s first example is that black is the antonym of white, but the antonym of white is red, and the antonym of red is black. In order to get a different result each time, you will need to repeatedly switch your perspective. Black and white are visually in opposition. Red is only the antonym of white figuratively, however. White is surrender while red is offense, white is purity while red is tainted. Black is the antonym of red in that red is fierce and passionate, while black is empty and void.
These also reflect Yozo’s personality. He is visually the opposite to humans, seen in how an outsider views his photos in the prologue. He is tainted, or corrupted, because of the crime that was perpetrated upon him as a child. Yozo also experiences his emotions in a complex way, sometimes void, like ‘black’, but at other times too heavily, like ‘red’.
(And you, dear reader, may ask, “Aren’t you focusing too much on Yozo’s sexual trauma?” and I’d respond, “No Longer Human is an inherently subjective work due to the lack of representation of an objective reality. Yozo may ignore his sexual trauma more often than not, but I don’t have to, as that kind of experience is part of what created the ‘Oba Yozo’ that we come to see in the novel, regardless of how often it is directly addressed.”)
It’s also important to note that this example that Yozo provides is a one-way street. Black to white, then white to red, then red to black. Red is not the antonym of white, despite the fact that white is the antonym of red, because the antonym of white is black. This disjointed yet ultimately related style of thinking is reminiscent of the way that Yozo fails to properly reconcile all the concepts that he contemplates daily and how he fails to process things that were traumatic.
A highlight of the little antonym game that Yozo and his acquaintance played was when Yozo’s acquaintance mentioned that the antonym of crime was sure to be ‘the law’. Yozo internally scoffs at the concept, and states that crime belonged to a different category. Through the following paragraphs, it becomes apparent that Yozo sees crime as being a moral concept at heart. Whether or not something is a crime is not dictated by whether it defies the law or not, but by an intrinsic judgement system that exists within the heart of all people. He also states that vice is different from crime. Vice is a societal construct in Yozo’s eyes, whilst crime is not. Crime always exists and will continue to, even if there are no people in existence to observe it. Crime may even be above morality in a sense; there exists things that are crimes even to the earth itself. To Yozo, at least.
To Yozo, punishment is the antonym of crime. Through a reflection of Dostoevsky's work, Yozo came to the conclusion that crime would only be paired with punishment if they were meant to be of completely opposite affiliation. The reason his brain works in this way is because of the unique life that Yozo has led. Because the most horrific of crimes that were perpetrated upon him were met with no punishment, it’s only natural that he would see the two as inherently disconnected concepts.
Yozo also loses plenty of people important to him; Tsuneko and his father, to name two. Although the grief that Yozo experiences is very rarely directly addressed by him, it’s crucial to take into account the effect of these events on Yozo. He spends the latter parts of the book impacted by grief, and it shapes the ‘Yozo’ that we see. There is no objective reality in No Longer Human, there is only the clouded lens that Yozo views it through, and this concept permeates the entire story, which means that if, perhaps, Yozo hadn’t lost the people that he did, the second half of the story would be different. The entire book would be different if told from the perspective of someone else; this is where the truly genius subtext of the novel lies, in the fact that almost everything that the viewer ends up consuming about the story is Yozo’s own thoughts, inseparable from the experience of reading the novel.
“He was a good boy, an angel,” is the final line of No Longer Human, said about Yozo by one of the people who knew him. The unlovable, monstrous, deceptive Yozo that he claimed himself to be for his entire life was perceived as an angel by those around him. Yozo accentuated the many ways he had been taken advantage of, the things he had to keep secret, and yet someone who barely knew him was fond of him in a way he would never process as true had he been present for that moment. One might even say that there were a number of people in this world who loved Yozo.
By existing in a world that he determined could only ever be lonely, Yozo’s perception of humans was warped by the multitude of ways that he had been broken by others, and his perception of himself was warped by his personal opposition to the definition of ‘human’ that he had crafted. This is the core of what makes No Longer Human tragic: the fact that Yozo was seeing an emptier world than all others, and he had given up on his life before it began. That Yozo will never see the world that he lived in for what it truly was.
#pls dont let this flop bro i spent a wholeass week on it/lh#☆thoughts☆#☆analysis☆#☆scheduled☆#bsd analysis#bungou stray dogs#no longer human#oba yozo#classic literature#japanese literature#osamu dazai#dazai osamu
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san sequoia🌟
#pls excuse my dead queue this week#i spent most of this past weekend messing with my mods folder#ts4#s4#s4 edit#ss4 scenery#sims 4
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BUNNY AND THE BULL (2009)
i can't even begin to describe how much this beautiful little film means to me, so i put it all into this. it might be my masterpiece or it might be a total mess. fitting either way i think.
medium: newspaper, ink pen, pencil crayon, acrylic paint, watercolour paint, cheerios box, metallic marker pens, tissue paper, jaffa cakes box, gold leaf, lots of PVA glue.
#ive spent most of my evenings making this for the past six weeks. i uhhh hope u guys like it. haha#pls be very kind and reblog it as im shadowbanned and my posts dont appear in the tags#bunny and the bull#bunny and the bull (2009)#bunny and the bull fanart#fan art#collage#my art#paul king#simon farnaby#edward hogg#my posts#bunny and the bull spoilers#bunny and the bull fanworks
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seek my vision please young chika and 2018 jungkook LOOK EXACTLY THE SAME !!! THEY ARE THE SAME PERSON!!
(i shall now seek answering the asks in my inbox)
#✧* ꜝ kiki’s rambling#NOW THAT I AM UM IDEK BACK FROM MY MINI BREAK#I SPENT MY WHOLE WEEK WATCHING AND READING STUFF FOR JK#its not even funny#i have been in love with him for 7 years#7 !!! YEARS !!! WOWOWOW#AND RED/PINK HAIRED KOOKIE IS BASICALLY YOUNG CHIKA#so guys im#in love with takiishi chika and jeon jungkook#IDEK IM TALKING ABOUT NOW BUT#TAKIISHI KIKI AND JEON KIKI#Lmaforooeoe#pls find me a real boyfriend i beg#JEON CHIKA#TAKIISHI JUNGKOOK#CHIKA AS A K-POP IDOL WILL BE AN ACE#GOOD AT DANCING SINGING RAPPING#A FASHION ICON TOO#I WANNA SEE IT IN MOTION IN 3D🗣️🗣️🗣️
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