the-demon-prodigy

[the-demon-prodigy]

Next time life gets you down, curl up in a blanket in your rented room and open a good book.

Dazai Osamu, The Beggar Student

[the-demon-prodigy]

This is so funny to me that akutagawa, on like his fourth on-screen death, still won’t say Atsushi’s name, if it weren’t for all the gayness I’d swear he’d forgotten it

[the-demon-prodigy]

harukawa im asking you politely to put the pen down. please go do that travelling you mentioned in the illustrator’s comment you need to heal something in you

[the-demon-prodigy]

So like- when are we getting Dazai and Fyodor music battle???

[the-demon-prodigy]

something something hating yourself for existing. feeling your existence brings only pain and misery and you are a collection of mistakes. "kill me." "i'm sorry, i'm so sorry." your existence only as a weapon and tool of destruction that is better off gone. looking for worth in living in any way possible. give me a reason to live. give me a reason to exist. why am i here? why do i deserve mercy and love?

the image of the small child with a nail driven through your foot as you raise your claws. will you kill him? will you free him? what will it take to get through this?

[the-demon-prodigy]

TEARS!!! IN BOTH OF OUR EYES!!! FUCK!!!!

[the-demon-prodigy]

WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK. AKUS TEARS. HIM EXPLODING IRL. NOW HES SEEING DAZAIS PHANTOM????

[the-demon-prodigy]

OH MY GOD THEY’RE BEAUTIFUL

ALSO I KNEW DAZAI WOULD BE ABLE TO PLAY PIANO I JUST KNEW IT.

[the-demon-prodigy]

Just fucking gut me like a fish at this point, that way it would hurt less

[the-demon-prodigy]

Man I hate it when politicians condemn me to an eternal labyrinth of time

[the-demon-prodigy]

Not Akutagawa finally learning what it feels like to get a limb cut off after spending the last ~120 chapters nonchalantly chopping off Atsushi’s every time they meet. Karma perhaps?

[the-demon-prodigy]

Ignoring everything that happened before and after this particular panel- I have to say, seeing dazai play the piano was NOT what I was expecting to see this chapter. There have been way too many random dazai things in the manga lately. Like, port mafia dazai in the great '25? Dazai posing weirdly? Just what kind of perception of dazai do Akutagawa and Atsushi have in their heads?

All while he's in France doing god knows what.

[the-demon-prodigy]

GROUP SUICIDE AT MY PLACE TONIGHT WE'RE GONNA MAKE DAZAI PROUD

[the-demon-prodigy]

[ BSD 123.5 Spoilers ]

Thoughts, Theories and Analysis

Literally forgot a new chapter was even releasing today but holy shiz today's update was great. I love it, especially this part:

My heart can't take thiiiiis! Would it be strange to say I'm glad we saw Akutagawa cry? Like, I'm happy for him, it's like a weird form of closure / acceptance for him.

He's not dead dead obviously. Just like all the other characters 'killed' by Ame-No-Gozen once this whole ordeal is over he'll retuen.

Honestly, even before the ordeal is over he will return and fight alongside Atsushi (as we see in the look ahead of the anime's last ep). Probably with Ueda's help.

I doubt Atsushi will actually kill Ueda. It's not that I find him too soft to kill, quite the opposite, he can and will kill depending on the situation and the type of person, but Ueda is not a bad person, they didn't want any of this to happen. Ueda is someone who has basically been imprisoned and forced to watch their creations be used for evil. They witnessed one die (destroyed) and now they are witnessing the other one be used for destruction without anyway to stop it.

Thus, Ueda wants to die as a way to free their creation from its fate and themself from this eternity of guilt and suffering in captivity.

To me, this part sounds like a parent who's twin children were turned into weapons of war. They gave them the gift of life only for their life to be turned into a weapon used against anyone the wielder saw fit. Eventually, the parent - seeing one of their children die from wear and the other forced into continuing the same mindless slaughter - can't take it anymore and wishes that they had never brought them into this life.

Random fact: Ame [ 雨 / あめ] means rain and Tsuki [ 月 / つき ] means moon - a reference to the real author's work - and therefore the bsd character's ability - "Ugetsu Monogatari" (Tales of Moon and Rain).

Anyway, back to Akutagawa, how is he seeing Dazai? For Atsushi's case we got the explanation that it was basically created by his mind under the influence of Q's ability. This is then immediately confirmed.

But what about Akutagawa? Even if he had been affected by Q's ability, the mental burden taking effect only now would be strange.

The most likely possibility is some form of the near death effect, where people who are about to die may see their loved ones (usually deceased family members) telling them words of encouragement and things along the lines of "you did well" and "it's time to go" or even the opposite, such as "it's not your time yet".

So after openly thinking that this would mark his end, his mind conjured up Dazai because a part of him remembered what Atsushi told him about.

Honestly, the strangest part of this whole thing for me was the music. Most people probably didn't think about it much but to me it seemed strange.

If he first saw Dazai and then heard him speak I could say that in his state of mind his brain created an auditory hallucination. But the music starts while his eyes are closed, before he even sees Dazai.

"Atsushi could hear his hallucination while he was asleep."

Yes, but Atsushi's "shadow" was created by his mind under the influence of Q's ability, not as a near death 'these are my final moments' brain response.

Maybe I'm thinking into this too much...music is definitely possible if it was a strong factor from a point of time in his life. Does this mean Dazai has played the piano for Akutagawa or that this is a melody that left an impression on him in some part of his life similarly to Dazai? Maybe neither, maybe both, will we ever know, does it mean anything at all? ...yeah, I'm overthinking this.

Btw...am I the only one who wants to know what song was played?

[the-demon-prodigy]

Whenever this scene gets animated I better hear the most outrageous and hilarious song edits over this

[the-demon-prodigy]

I still can’t believe…. Aku tears in 2025….during pride month….let him rest….

[the-demon-prodigy]

he envied atsushi

atsushi has desperately wanted free of his master, and he has been actively clawing his way away from the headmaster’s gaze

akutagawa wanted nothing more than for his master’s gaze to fall upon him once more, he wanted to run straight into the metaphorical burning building that atsushi is trying to escape from. this is him realizing that he’ll never make it there and he shouldn’t want to. this is him speaking to himself and finally acknowledging that yes, he fought hard… and it makes him cry. a final grace he extends to himself right before death in the form of a memory of atsushi, a peaceful piano melody, the words he always wanted to hear and the tears that never had the privilege to fall