#i spend my life overthinking
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MayBlade 2023 : Day 12 : Fall
Max/Mariam | FFN Rating: K | FFN Link ❖ Max would never admit that seeing a familiar flash of blue out of the corner of his eye made him do a double-take and stumble up the stairs. He would have fallen right into the seats trying to catch himself, if someone hadn't steadied him at the last second.
"Thank you! That was close!" he laughed, righting himself. When he turned to address the person who'd saved him, his mouth went dry at the sight of her.
He'd been hoping to run into Mariam from the time the tournament was announced, listening carefully for any news of the Saint Shields making a comeback. And now, here she was.
"Don't mention it," Mariam said, sliding back down into her seat. Her hair was tied up in a ponytail like he remembered – his flash of blue – and she still had the most striking eyes he'd ever seen. He'd bet money that they were greener than the rest of her teammates'. And they were so singularly focused on him that it made him blush. "I kinda owed you one."
Max furrowed his brows in confusion. "For what?"
"You save so many girls from collapsing stairs in abandoned buildings that you forget?" Mariam asked skeptically.
"Oh!" Max exclaimed as it all, instantly, came flooding back. The not-so-abandoned forest warehouse, Team Psykick's power injections, Mariam busting their machinery, and the two of them finding a way to make it out in one piece together when the building caved in on itself. "You don't owe me for that, Mariam. I'm just glad you weren't hurt."
"I guess I'll remember that next time you're about to fall flat on your face."
Max felt his cheeks getting hot again.
"I, uh, got distracted," he said, suddenly remembering that they were in a stadium full of people and he was standing in the middle of the stairs, forcing the crowd to walk around him. He slipped into Mariam's row to get out of the way. "I was looking for the guys – they're saving me a seat."
"The battle's about to start," Mariam pointed out as the lights began to dim.
Max nodded. They'd be wondering where he was at. The tournament hadn't properly started yet and today's was an exhibition match, but they'd promised to watch it together to see how their competition had improved in the past couple years. Mariam's presence proved they weren't the only ones with that idea but, as he scanned the audience, he realized something else.
"Where's the rest of your team?"
Mariam sat back in her chair and crossed her arms, her bracelets shining gold in the lights that were left. "Dunga was getting on my nerves earlier, so I came by myself. I'm sure they're here somewhere."
Max shuffled his feet, very aware that he was standing in front of the empty aisle seat to Mariam's right. And that people in the row behind her were craning their necks to see around him. And that he wasn't going to find the rest of his team before the lights went out and it would be a shame for either of them to watch the match alone. So, he sat down.
"Ditching your friends for me?" Mariam asked, a teasing lilt to her voice. "You'd better be careful or they'll think you have a crush."
The next moment the lights went out, saving Max from answering and hiding the fact that his face was probably redder than a tomato. The spotlights flicked on, swirling around the stadium before fixing in the center where DJ Jazzman stood next to a standard dish.
"Hello beyblading fans and welcome to the very first exhibition match of the BBA's Beyblading World Championships!"
The stadium erupted into thunderous applause and Max felt a nostalgic excitement swelling in his chest. It had been a long time since he'd sat in a stadium, waiting for the World Championships to begin. Not only was he eager to compete with the Bladebreakers again and test his mettle against the fiercest competition around, but he got to watch them all compete against one another, too. New friends and old friends.
In some ways, it felt like the first time he'd ever watched a match live. He felt the same fire he'd felt then. The same desire to pick up his blade and find a tough opponent. He glanced over at Mariam; she was leaning forward in her seat, looking just as eager as he felt. He hoped their chance to battle came sooner, rather than later.
"Tonight's match will have you seeing double! We're starting off strong with a pairs battle!" Jazzman cried, sending a buzz of anticipation rippling through the crowd.
The bladers competing in the exhibitions were supposedly a varied group, with some selected from BBA teams and others making special appearances even though they weren't competing this time around. Kenny had spent hours the night before trying to dig up information on who was going to be participating, but it was such a well-kept secret that he hadn't been able to figure it out. A pairs battle would've made him even more curious.
"Our first duo turned the competition on its head with their tag-team finesse in their tournament debut. And after spending the BBA's hiatus with their circus family, they've decided to run away with the World Championships once again! Give it up for Julia and Raul!"
Max applauded along with the crowd as the stadium floor opened up and Raul and Julia appeared. They were beaming and waving to the audience and it was several minutes before the cheers died down enough for Jazzman to introduce the next team.
"Our next pair may be less colorful, but they're no less skilled!"
A flash of light to his left caught Max's eye and he turned to see Sharkrash's bit gleaming in Mariam's hand. She had a white-knuckled grip on her blade and was staring out at the dish with her jaw set. And just like that, something clicked in Max's memory and he knew exactly who was going to be announced.
"Put your hands together for King and Queen!"
The audience was quieter for King and Queen's entrance, but there was still plenty of applause from those who weren't familiar with their dubious history. It was proof of how much the sport had grown in recent years.
Beside Max, Mariam was sitting stiffly. Her fingertips were white where her attack ring was biting into them. Max reached over and laid a gentle hand on her arm. Her head whipped around and he was once again on the receiving end of her piercing gaze.
"Are you okay?"
"I'm fine."
"Now remember: this match is a friendly exhibition! The outcome won't affect the tournament standings, but might leave our competitors with some grudges to battle it out over later." Jazzman raised his hand over his head and King, Queen, Julia, and Raul readied their launchers.
The stadium counted down as one: "3… 2… 1… Let it rip!"
All four beyblades landed in the dish and the battle began.
Right away Max noticed that both teams were using attack patterns he recognized from previous battles. Kenny and Dizzi would note if there was a difference in power output, but it looked like they were taking special care not to reveal any new tricks too early in the competition. It made sense.
Max had every intention of keeping his eyes on the battle regardless. It turned out to be harder than he anticipated with Mariam beside him and he spent as much time watching her reaction to the battle as he did watching the battle itself. And just looking at her in general (she had four new piercings in the ear he could see and a crease appeared between her eyebrows every time Queen went on the offensive).
"Who do you think will win?" he asked after the battle had gone on for a few minutes.
King and Queen landed a powerful barrage attack that made half the audience cheer and the other half boo. Mariam frowned.
"I know who I want to win."
"Julia and Raul are some of the best tag-team bladers out there," Max said, quickly losing his train of thought when Mariam turned away from the battle, for the first time, to look at him while he spoke. She was even prettier than he remembered.
She raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to continue.
He blushed and looked stubbornly in the direction of the battle, willing any more unbidden thoughts away. "They've taken on tougher opponents than King and Queen and won. I'm sure they can do it again."
Mariam didn't answer. When F-Dynasty called out their bitbeasts, King and Queen followed suit, and Max watched the reflections of them in her eyes.
He couldn't blame Mariam for harboring a grudge against Queen after the way their last battle had panned out. Max wasn't a vengeful person, but he didn't regret shredding Queen's blade once she'd torn Mariam's to smithereens, either. That might have had something to do with the illegal part she was using that backfired. It might have also had something to do with Mariam.
Now that he was going to see her almost daily for the duration of the tournament, he might be forced to unpack that possibility soon.
Max tuned back into the battle just in time to watch King and Queen set up a move to target F-Dynasty while they were separated in the dish. If he'd been watching, he would have recognized when Queen transferred energy into King's beyblade with her own. Before anyone knew what was happening, Uriel was knocking Torch Pegasus out of the dish.
But Queen had made a mistake in hanging back, watching King make his move and leaving herself wide open – Julia sent Thunder Pegasus straight for Gabriel and soon it was just King and Julia left in the game.
"Looks like it's anyone's battle," Mariam observed as the two blades circled each other.
"It can't go on much longer," Max said, leaning over so Mariam could hear him over the increasing volume of the crowd. "Neither of them have a lot of energy left."
Right after he said it, the beyblades collided for one final, winner-take-all attack. There was an explosion of light and a loud crack that must have been the dish itself splitting. When the dust settled, Torch Pegasus was spinning proudly in the middle of it.
"And F-Dynasty takes it!"
The applause and cheers were deafening this time as the entire stadium leapt to their feet to celebrate, not only Julia's victory, but the official start to their first World Championship Tournament since the BEGA fiasco. Max cheered along, eyes glued to the satisfied smirk on Mariam's face.
His fingers were itching for his ripcord by the time everything died down and the spectators began filing out. He wanted to ask Mariam for a battle, but bit his tongue. The guys were probably already looking for him. It would have to wait.
"C'mon, Max," Mariam said, as the people in their row began trying to squeeze past.
They stood up to make their way out of the stadium. It wasn't long before Max turned to say something to Mariam and found that they'd lost each other in the flow of the crowd climbing the stairs to the exit. Or maybe she'd just disappeared on him. It wouldn't be the first time.
Max sighed and continued up, a weird sense of melancholy settling over him. It was great to see Mariam again, but he wished they'd had more time to talk about things other than the battle. Lost in his thoughts, he was almost the whole way to the top of the stairs when he heard someone calling his name.
"Hey, Max!" A hand holding a familiar baseball cap waved above the crowd and, soon enough, Tyson appeared on the stair above him. People nearby were pointing and talking excitedly, but he didn't seem to notice. "Where were you, buddy? We saved you a seat."
"I'm sorry," Max said sheepishly. He hoped the flush he could feel on his cheeks could be attributed to the tight press of the crowd. "I couldn't find you guys."
"We were right where we said we'd be," Hilary said, appearing at Tyson's side. She had a hold of Kenny's suspenders so he didn't get lost to the masses and he was clutching Dizzi in both arms in case someone bumped into him.
"Maybe he's turning antisocial like Kai," Daichi said, elbowing his way through what looked to be a couple holding hands. "He didn't sit with us either."
"Do you guys think we should get out of the way?" Ray asked, bringing up the rear.
Right at that moment, a large group pushed their way past, forcing them all up against the railing dividing the stairs down the center. Max grabbed a hold of it to steady himself, then immediately spun around to apologize when he realized someone's hand was already there. He nearly lost his footing again when he saw whose it was.
"Mariam!"
"Better watch where you're going this time, Max," she said, grabbing his hand and returning it to the railing as his friends watched in stunned silence. "Wouldn't want you to fall before we get the chance to have our rematch."
Then she walked away before any of them could ask about the rest of the Saint Shields. Tyson was complaining about it and Kenny was explaining to Daichi who she was. Max was watching her go until he could no longer see her electric blue ponytail cutting a path through the crowd.
It was possible, he thought as his team finished their ascent, that he'd already fallen.
#mayblade 2023#beyblade#after agonizing over this in various states of exhaustion i had redwheeler and too-raph read it and decided just to post it#i spend my life overthinking#and remembering that Queen vs Mariam battle in V Force and how Max annihilates Queen in the round after#maxmar#azrfic#azikarue#azikarue394
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i like overthink everything now it makes me feel so dumb. i used 2 be able to just talk 2 ppl but nowadays every single thing im like Is that actually going to make them hate me. Yes probably. and then i just dont respond which makes ppl hate me. this is how it is
#ive been overthinking 1 light and casual mildly funny response to something but im worried itll come off as disrespectful and dismissive And#make me seem stupid and uncaring all at the same time. and also be seen as insulting. but like idt itd be insulting right like. im not#saying what it is so ig for all you guys know im like I mean if i say All your shit suck ball and i hateit kys. <- thats not the thing i was#going to say#like it doesnt matter now the window for response is closed now but i feel stupid bc i shouldve just said it it was light and casual. im so#bad at keeping convos gojng im convinced im not going to survive. In like a light and casual way like in a He will not make it through the#winter joke way. dw. im not going to do anything bc i had One failed interaction. if i was going to do anythjng itd be bc of the 8000000#other failed interactions. But im not. anyways. it just makes me feel so useless 😭 like i want to respond i want to talk to ppl so bad but#i feel like i mess things up Irreparably every time i speak OR i take too LONG overthinking my response and then i just cant respond bc its#been too long and then its been 3 years and the only messages ive ever sent r my intro message and 1 message 2 years ago that nobody#responded to at all. or the conversation stopped immediately after. and like i used to be better at this i was lkke. talkative in a couple#muts servers like. i talked 2 ppl daily in those servers and i had fun and like. I was an important part of the group and i felt like it#but i just feel like such an outsider for Everything and its literally my fault bc i cant just like. Talk. The explosion. bc im always like#im gonna try im gonna do it this time im gonna get it back im going to finally be Good connor and im going to fix it all and make a Good#solid friend group and ill find HEALTHY LOVE and i wont selfsabotage and ill move out and have a job and ill balance it well and ill start#all my hobbies and ill have a great routine and be so loveable and on top of it and not stressed and content and happy and roll with the#punches and then theres a single hiccup and im like Well fuckinf whatever im going to be an unemployed hermit forever and im going to die b4#im 25 anyways so Who cares and also im digging a little hole for myself. and its like. AUGHH ik i just have to persevere and overcome but#even saying that feels so stupid its not fucking hard its Talking to ppl. like. i literally if ive ever said a word to you i had to think#avt it and strategize how to respond right even for like. like. it makes it sound like its not genuine it is#like for example i want to say hey i love your art! but then i freak out and im like thats not normal thats like a rly generic comment they#hear that all the time theyll thjnk im being polite and my brains like hrmmm rewrite Your art changed my life. It shaped me. Ill never be#the same. Nad im like ok too far overcorrected go back and the sentence generator is like Your art has colors 💯 like. GOD. WHY IS IT SO#difficult. and then usually i either just dont say anythinf and feel awful abt it 4ever OR i send it on anon and then i spend like 15#minutes ibsessively slightly tweaking the apelling and capitalization and punctuation to make sure it doesnt seem like its me just in case#it Is the worst possible thing to say but then i see the response and itll be like AWWW TYSM :] THIS MEANS A LOT or whathaveyou and i feel#stupid bc i couldve just Told them this to their face and it wouldve been a good positive interaction we had. but instead i had 2 hide and#tyoe entirely differently so they couldnt sniff me from my typing style. and it soesnt even feel like the thanks is actually 4 me bc i#tweaked the message sm. and it still makes me happy that the oersons hapoy but its like. that couldve been a nice mutual interaction#like not that i need a personal ty i compliment ppl when i Want to compliment ppl and when its genuine yk. i dont do it so i get mutualpoint
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(sorry for editing to keep things out of tags) (also preface that I ship pretty much anyone with anyone but that car lando, land oscar and char los are by far my favorites)
ok first and foremost I have to laugh so hard at them choosing Lando and Oscar?? as "pure PR" when
car|ando is quite LITERALLY used as Formula 1 PR ?? the official accounts of Ferr/ari, Mc|aren, Carlos' personal socials, Quad|rant,LN 4, F1, TV networks, Netflix and DTS,the whole of the Vegas race and every. single. sponsor. use car|ando to boost visibility. that's not a commentary on the validity of their friendship at all but it is quite literally a PR bromance that rakes in views and engagement
let's all be honest here the Mc|aren media folks are still hardcore car|ando people and can only bring themselves to remember the land|oscar ship name once in a blue moon (I have mixed feelings about that but I'm also not a fan of containment breaches so ig I'm relieved one of my ships isn't used as social media corporate currency??)
people's biggest complaint/compliment (depending on who's speaking) for Oscar is that he doesn't play up for cameras the way Carlos and Daniel do and struggles at PR !! literally he was only a little bit better at this in Prema and only because he'd known most of those boys for 5+ years already and their audience was tiny!
every single comment from a non fandom F1 fan on land|oscar content is how unusually shy Lando is around Oscar or how Oscar needs to "come out of his shell" and "not make Lando work so hard"
and Daniel "Mr. F1 PR Department" Ricc|ardo????? are they seriously saying Lando and Oscar (who are still trying to figure out how much they can even casually touch each other) are PR when Daniel and dan|do ticks every single bromance box????
like who the hell but a twitter user who ships rpf like it's a government conspiracy would pick land|oscar out of all Lando ships for a fake or publicity friendship when they literally don't do any of the pretend gay stuff or the horseplay or the memes etc. that is literally the wildest take I've heard in yeARS
anyway as usual I thought creepily deeply into this and decided to spend my time unable to sleep typing an essay weeeeeeeeee
see I was mostly lurking part time during the dando era so I wasn't sure but fr why isn't there this "competition" between dando and carlando like there is with carlando landoscar?? dando was MAJOR gay fandom service by comparison and they've consistently spent more time together outside of racing weekends and hobbies than Lando and Carlos since Carlos has always spent most of his travel and downtime during the season with Isa and now Rebecca. Daniel and Lando go on little excursions together even now and he was with Lando much longer as a teammate than Carlos.
so for people who've left reality to the point of thinking these men are in a genuine secret gay romance competition for Lando… surely Daniel/dando should be the ultimate enemy number one?? especially when evidence immediately surfaced that Carlos' thirst posts on Lando's bday were his side of the thirst posts Rebecca did the same day from their holiday right after the Brazilian GP, whereas Daniel took Lando with him in a small group of close friends to the desert after Vegas. if I were someone who thought that all F1 girlfriends are "PR escorts" - or whatever bullshit is the latest sexist woman-hating theory of choice - then I'd be so mad at Carlos for "ditching" Lando for Rebecca and then Daniel posting not one but two beautiful, moody pics of traveling with him. forget that Lando only reposted Oscar's birthday post, surely Daniel posting on the account he only made because of Lando with a camera he only bought because of Lando pictures OF LANDO is the biggest source of betrayal !!
I just. cannot imagine wanting rpf to be this exhausting and enraging when you can just ship all of them and also not create conspiracy theories about girlfriends that keep getting disproved at every turn.
but yeah as anon #2 said it's not even like carlando are super close friends outside of F1 (as Lando himself said) the way George and Alex are but I don't see anyone in rages about galex or their irl relationships or saying they can't be shipped with any other driver?? maybe I just don't see it on my feeds but it's definitely not as big a deal as the carlando exclusivity stuff that's been bubbling up everywhere.
and exactly! as sweet as it is that Lando and Carlos pair up in the few moments the drivers are all doing media duties etc together it's also what every. other. driver. is doing with their buddies. sometimes they stand in larger groups but those moments are when they get to catch up with guys outside their own team. Oscar and Logan find each other every single time and a lot of that time they spend away from the other drivers. Max and Charles, Yuki and Pierre, Esteban and Lance etc etc. much as I would love it if this implied that all of these driver friends are suckin and fuckin their bros on the DL it's tragically not the case.
I feel like maybe?? carlando as a ship developed into part of the fans going larries level of problematic is because the Lando they watched with Carlos was so young and literally formed a lot of his F1 persona around Carlos. that version of Lando is basically a handy self-insert for fans worshiping Carlos.
as we know Carlos does NOT view himself as the number 2 driver even when he in every technical sense is. so it speaks to just how much of a little uncooked chicken nugget Lando was during their season together that Carlos has never once viewed Lando as competition and even now sees him as a lil cub kind of like Max V does with Lando. they're happy Lando succeeds but he's not classed in with the guys they really get pissed off with or perceive as threatening.
Lando talked here about how he spent a lot of that first season in F1 anxious about his performance compared to Carlos and his own future in F1 and that he largely had to work to put on a smiley face for the cameras. I actually think that entire first half of the clip is a great example of how the carlando chemistry came from Carlos being someone who loves being silly and laughing a lot in his time off the track and how convenient that was for Lando to help hide how much he was going through privately. when the media decided that Lando is meant to be adorable and silly all the time, someone as easy to get along with as Carlos was perfect timing. did nothing for Lando's actual personal struggle behind the scenes but it kept up a solid boundary between Lando and the media. I can't find it now but there's that old interview of Carlos being dismayed at Lando one day being sullen and quiet even when Carlos tried to joke with him - he was half kidding but Lando looked a bit uncomfortable and said "yeah I don't know why I'm like that sometimes". then it just got joked off as Lando being a moody teenager (which Lando visibly didn't really like).
so like, this is what their relationship has always been! Carlos represents a place Lando can go to and not have his demons or his problems follow him. and for someone who has always been used to physical affection, Carlos' lack of boundaries has always been extremely welcome as an endorphins boost.
but let's be honest here that's exactly the same super physically comfortable chemistry Carlos had even with Max and now has with Charles. I know the charlos of it all is probably a whole other hornets nest but fact is that to Carlos, Charles is equally a grown man to him and they can do the whole european buddies jokey flirting thing without it being weird. not the same as with Lando…
I've got to point out that when you look at comments not from fangirls, carlando as a "ship" is seen by F1 fans as big brother and baby brother or even dad and son relationship. this video was recently posted again from the stream where Carlos very firmly shut down people asking him to kiss Lando. whereas he'll jokingly ask Charles for a kiss and call him "darling" while being pretend domestic together. it's pretty damn clear that Carlos will joke about the bromance with Lando to an extent but Lando is The Baby and a little brother. Carlos wants to take care of Lando and he does not view him as a contemporary the way he does with Charles.
and considering Lando still suffers from the same anxieties and getting stuck in his own head, I've said before how I love that hanging with Carlos can still clear those cobwebs away. they can golf or just chat about any old bullshit and Lando can escape whatever is hanging over him for a while.
I truly do not know why people find that very real relationship insufficiently sweet and amazing and think that imagining them to be secret boyfriends is so much better ?? I mean absolutely rpf it the way I do for fun! but how bad does someone's gaydar have to be to think Carlos would have a single clue what to do with a penis that's not his own lfhajhfsa. American fans need to spend some time watching European friend groups and realize the insecure nohomo thing does NOT exist outside the US.
idk how many girlfriends have to get harassed or how far the media will push it before Lando or Carlos actually get sick of the whole ship thing but I think I speak for all rational carlando fans when I say that it's well past time to throw this whole conspiracy theory away. folks need to enjoy their friendship and ship them how you want for fun but don't push this thing to the point of even more discomfort. or worse make them change their behavior to get the focus off of them.
especially when you come to the landoscar of it all and deciding that it's a battle of the rpf ships. we've all seen those delusions in other fandoms result in baffling amount of hate that cross over into real life and how ugly it gets. carlando comments are already pretty out of control on Lando content that doesn't even remotely involve Carlos and it's bleeding onto McLaren content that involves Oscar.
I guess if I really make a few leaps in lofic then I can maaaaybe kind of see ? where that insecurity is coming from with those shippers. I do not understand it but if I had to guess it's possibly that we're seeing a totally different side of Lando than usual since he's been teammates with Oscar. and that for once, Lando's growth isn't dictated or based on his teammate being a big PR personality.
professionally he has said many times he's been pushed by Oscar into his own best F1 season yet. he's also matured a huge amount when it comes to his own failures and we've never heard him be so grown up and balanced as when he talks about how happy he is for Oscar and McLaren that Oscar got the sprint win before he did. that the "hurt" he feels over it is entirely because he is angry at himself for making mistakes. him doing the season farewell video and being able to ruefully joke but be genuinely proud of Oscar is so different from little Lando slumped and barely clapping during Carlos' departing speech or Lando looking out of it and a bit annoyed when Daniel would still try to do jokes after a particularly brutal result. Lando is behaving on his own terms in his own team now. he's The Guy.
Lando's grown UP. we're seeing a very finished article in him. and it's not because he's reacting to who Oscar is it's because Oscar's just letting him be. he's seen Oscar choose not to fake it or play up for the media and realized 'oh! I can be upset or depressed if I feel like it and not dance like a puppet when people want me to be fun and silly!'. he saw Oscar's urgency to prove himself after finally getting a seat and Lando realized that Oscar was just assuming that Lando would default be the superior! he saw Oscar backing away or leaving room for Lando to be the fan favorite and Lando's natural instinct was actually to let himself be quieter and take up only as much space as he wanted to! he's spent the whole season being asked to be an F1 global representative all on his own with no bromance attached and Oscar is there back at the garage or the McLaren motor home smiling and congratulating him like always!
in short, Lando suddenly has room and space to be whatever he chooses and Oscar has been open to any and all of it. they became immediate competition for each other without needing to hastily construct a friendship or bromance to negotiate it. Oscar shrugs off his own disappointments and doesn't gloat or overdo his achievements and oh! isn't it nice that he isn't expecting anything from Lando except respect! Lando doesn't have to navigate anyone else!
that's why I refer to them as sort of I guess a plantonic crush? I did this equally huge and weird post about this here. Oscar has admired Lando for a long time and Lando has absolutely loved having a teammate who doesn't view him as a baby or a kid brother. Lando is so intrigued by how calm and solid and strong Oscar is and Oscar still cannot quite believe Lando is right there in his life and as his teammate. the little cautious dance they're doing is absolutely precious but also because it's so intensely earnest. they both have such big long term plans for themselves and they are so happy to be working on those together that they aren't doing the whole let's find a schtick or do a bromance thing. if it takes them a long time to settle what their relationship is then so what!
and I guess for people who want to think that Carlos and Lando's friendship is 'superior' to every other relationship in their lives (as if Max F will ever be dethroned in Lando's life) it's got to take the already unstable mindset and upset it even more to see Lando personally growing into someone they don't really recognize and at least in some part because of Oscar.
because the carlando shipping that I see from these more extreme people (and I fully acknowledge they're a loud minority) basically eradicates Lando's agency and identity outside of finding Carlos hilarious or hot. they misinterpret Carlos being the authoritative role into Carlos being fully in control of carlando and Lando basically dancing to his tune and reacting to him. they never post the serious, slightly darker side of Lando because it's typically not associated with Carlos. unless it's Lando missing Carlos or upset that Carlos isn't around lol.
so I can only imagine that Oscar's arrival coinciding with a more mature and focused Lando who allows himself to want to be taken seriously and no longer spends all of his on-camera time screeching with laughter or flailing around is ummm not to the taste of those people. Lando still has screeching fits sometimes but he's overall a much calmer person and it's nice to know that when he laughs with Oscar it's always genuine since Oscar has no idea how to play up for laughs. it's probably why Those Fans are now aggressively posting Lando and Carlos doing the driver's parade together (again, among all the other paired off drivers lol) with "ALWAYS TOGETHER" AND "ALWAYS COMING BACK TO EACH OTHER" as if fate is trying to stop carlando from being the only thing that matters. because I guess in their minds, Lando can't just be believed when he says that Carlos is an F1 buddy the way other guys have F1 buddies and Lando can't grow up and have a personal best year without Singapore being solely about carlando and how Carlos took care of him (fuck off???? Lando would've gotten P2 or P3 anyway bc he had an excellent race??) and Lando won't be heard when he says actually Silverstone was his favorite race not Singapore because Carlos Carlos Carlos.
of course Lando can't have found a new kind of friend and teammate in a guy like Oscar who is wholly unlike Carlos in every single way imaginable because that would mean there are parts of Lando that don't suit Carlos and carlando. it would also imply that Oscar is a better teammate for Lando than Carlos was (which is true) and that oh no if Lando is no longer pining for Carlos to be his teammate again (he isn't and he said so) then that means Lando exists outside of carlando and that means they're gonna have to pile extra hard onto proving every single instance where carlando is still one of the most important things in Lando's life (it isn't and that wouldn't be healthy). it would also imply that purely platonic friendship between Carlos and Lando is basically pointless no no they've got to be fucking and in romantic love that's what makes them special not just the fact that they love being in each other's company and have full and happy lives outside each other.
I just.
reaalllly hope it all calms down soon and they leave Oscar out of this mess.
and thank FUCK Oscar's gf Lily has been fully accepted by landoscar fans from the start because the amount of vile hate and petty exclusion Rebecca is receiving makes it honestly a little bit hard for me to be ra ra carlando even just for fun right now.
will it stop me being carlando trash in the tags? no. but my conscience is cringing a bit.
#big shock I overthink things that in no way impact my life#I also had to spend a loooot of time considering how much I wanted to go into all of this vs it potentially getting me sht from ppl#hopefully it's too long for anyone to rly care about who might get pissed#inchreplies#wank adjacent
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Discovered a truly baffling bit of text from the OG English translation while watching @rathologic's Bachelor Route stream that affected me so deeply I had to draw it (nonexistent digital art skills notwithstanding)
So I humbly present to the world... Pope Puppy Grief!
PNG of the art below:
#bad grief#pathologic#anthro#my art#silly shit#I had to draw this as quickly as possible#since if I didn't I might overthink the design and spend way too long on it as a result#this piece taught me that I have never drawn a dog on a digital art canvas before in my life lmao
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@ the people saying kind words and offering me english alternatives for the czech in my last post
first of all, I know you mean well and I love you to bits and I'm giving you a little kissy, ok? But... guys I do know English phrases... hahhah
Listen,,,, I am chronically online and I do actually have a certificate from C2 exams that is just 5 points shy of being 100%. I Know it absolutely doesn't look that way but that's just because I'm the laziest guy around and I don't feel like fixing it after myself when I have the excuse of being a foreigner- sahdjsd
so when i use czech words it is not out of the necessity of not knowing any substitutes but just me goofing around and going haha funny word go brr
#man this is probably coming of as mean and super defensive but its not supposed to be 😭😭 (tones still hard in any language)#it is genuinly super nice of you to try to help out!! and you couldn't have known so 💞#but just throwing that out there....jasdhksdj#o(-( man#ykno like i said throwing in cz words is just me having fun with it#since its my scribble side blog and all that#because due to spending almost all my free time connected to english-centric internet my own language/culture took a bit of a backseat#like even in my day to day life which is very prevalent among lot of foreign people today#but i wont get into it now it doesn't rly matter#so me throwing in some funky words is me just having fun around and trying to bring some of it back while i doodle#but looking back at it it is prolly weird to do since ykno its Chinese so what is cz doing there and no one will understand it anyway#so ppl are probably left feeling confused or cheated out of something#so i should probably just stick with eng alternatives#oh well#idk why im even making this post this has completely derailed ashdk and again I'm not mad at beloveds who commented and left tags#it just made me think#and overthinking hahh bcuz im in the middle of stressful projects#plus tHE STUPIDASS UNI DOENST WANNA ACCEPT MY MONEY OK PLEASE TAKE IT I BEG OF U I WILL PAY EARLIER NEXT TIME (lying)#anyway thats all jhds uhh bye#wait im already having regrets about making this post in the first place man but i did spend valuable time typing it out so ughhh
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Bruh
Why does my anxiety have to be so annoying?
TLDR: passport stress
I applied to get a new passport cause I'm planning on going out of the country for a few weeks and my old passport looked nothing like me and was expiring a few months after my trip so I figured why not get a new one? Didn't want to risk it.
Sent out my passport... estimated turnaround 8-10 weeks. No problem. I'd still have like 2 ish weeks before my trip.
Kept an eye on the tracking to make sure it made it to them. It did. But now it said turnaround was 10-13 weeks. Ok. It would be cutting it very close but it should be ok.
I've been trying to not obsessively check on the status cause it won't do me any good if it's still like 2 months out from being done.
I check on the status today and it said it was mailed? And it gave me a tracking number? And it'll get here tomorrow??
That's less than 8 weeks.
What if something is wrong? What if it got rejected for some reason? It seems like it should be ok but... what if?
This trip means way too much to me to miss and I don't have enough time to apply for another new passport... please just have been a really quick turnaround and everything is ok.
There's someone on the other side of the world I really want to see and this stress isn't making the wait any easier...
#my life#why do i have to be stressed#i just want something to be easy#just one thing to be stress free#maybe I'm overthinking this#Definitely overthinking this#i just wanna spend time with my partner#why did i decide to fall for someone 5k miles away
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I actually do have very complex thoughts about many different things, it’s just a bit challenging to connect the inner voice to the outer voice sometimes </3
#random post#I have SO many thoughts and ideas. I love to create and I love to build on what I have and I like to connect to existing things#there is lots of oc lore in my brain! it graces my blog sometimes. not always. it’s hard to put abstract feeling and thought into words#and it’s challenging trying to find the best place to start talking about things yknow? like I as the creator of this whole unique universe#pretty much already know how things end up. how they’re going. how it started. some are easier to know than others. but that doesn’t stop me#from trying create for it. or searching for the missing piece to start the domino effect of development and fulfillment#it’s hard to see where the pieces fit sometimes. but getting a new angle or changing something about the piece can make finding where it#belongs easier. this is what I mean when I say I have very intricate and complicated thoughts. not spending too long writing my sentences or#overthinking them helps to keep things as they are in my head. since I’m not filtering them into something almost unrecognizable#writing a paper in a single sitting in a set time really helps me produce a unified and intricate product. I’ve been told I write well#which I find mildly humorous. I’ve never been a writer by choice really. I’m an artist that works with a physical visual piece rather than#letters that convey meaning. I’m more of a thinker than a writer. but in some instances they’re one in the same. I’m rambling but y’all know#that about me by now I’m sure hahagahaha. yea. my OCD makes me spend too long on words and that’s why I always talk in a short way#a more simplistic way. leaves less room for the mind to pick out flaws if everything is flawed on purpose yknow? haha yea. I like me yknow?#and other people like me too! that will never cease to surprise and amaze me haha. I’m one of those people that has an easier time with#people different from themselves. the people I’ve known and spoke to throughout my life are so very different from me. but they all feel#comfortable to share their experience with me. a lot of these people on paper would be ones I’d try to avoid I guess. differing opinions and#world views yknow? but the way I am. gives people comfort I’ve found. I’m not bragging about that it’s just interesting. it’s the same with#my whole household like we meet people that are like. idk a good descriptor but they’re very set in a specific way. and then we just?? they#like us?? idk it’s just funny to think about my dad getting along with legit crazy people or my mom being the person who’s the favorite of#the least liked / polite person in the office. or my brother and sister being very well liked in their schools but are just average students#who aren’t trying to be more than kind. or when I as myself. with the thoughts and opinions I have. am able to get along with anyone I#come across. I’m really not trying to be bright about that I’m just an. empath? I guess? I’m just very nice to people and meet them at their#level and don’t try steering the conversation to smth bad or controversial. but even then people will still talk to me and like me cus I’m#not putting them down or hating on them for how they think and feel. I listen. I can understand them. not agreeing with their views doesn’t#mean I can’t get why people think or feel how they do. I try to not be biased or entirely antagonist to things different than me#I’ve gone my whole life not understanding a lot of things. and over time I’ve learned them. I go into experiences with people like that#I may not understand yet. but I’ll learn to. that’s probably the main reason why people feel comfortable around me. that and also I have#a smile pretty much always lol. I’m small and non threatening lookin with a single dimple on the cheek and eyes so dark you could see the#faintest light reflected in them. anyways I have gone into several different directions with this and kinda lost the main point I was making
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i need to be sedated or lobotomized or preferably both
#he said yes to going out for a beer but he's busy the coming three weeks so i now have three weeks to spend on overthinking and suffering :D#me being Like This over a MAN of all things is a fun little plot twist in my life#jk idk what i want out of this guy all i know is i want to hang out with him again 😶 let's see what happens etc.#i feel like shit. so shit in fact that i am going to reread unholyverse 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍#txt#it's all very confusing
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it’s all been said before but the whole pronouns thing for some people is getting so ridiculous it’s honestly just sad
#just saw a TIF post ‘i’ve decided that in addition to he/they i am now interested in ‘he/they/she. but just as a spicy little extra#only on rare occasion for fun. but please don’t ONLY use she/her for me if you use that please switch it up from time to time!’#like girl can’t you see how meaningless this all is. it’s a consumerist hobby to you it’s a game of playing with masks for fun#it’s literally just about playing pretend and getting excited when your friends play along. it’s a bit#but actors get uncomfortable when the topic lingers on the truth for too long. they’re cool with dancing around it sometimes#but they don’t like being unmasked openly because they don’t like their true selves they like having a persona#this whole trans thing is so insanely dangerous people are straight up encouraging personality disorder type behavior#or like. when people who ‘use multiple pronoun sets’ post stuff like ‘i wish people would actually bother to switch it up sometimes#or use he or she instead of always just they :/‘ like yeah people are avoiding saying anything real because they’re afraid of upsetting you#and catching you on a bad day where that’s not right#or like. they’d prefer a consistent approach to language at the very least instead of fulfilling your ever-changing fantasies#because you can’t make up your mind because you always need more and more attention and can’t just be satisfied with yourself#literally i can remember my own experience with this thing wasn’t ‘maybe i’m actually not a girl’ (this is almost never it)#it was ‘maybe it would be fun to go she/they and put a non-binary flag in my icon and reblog all these cool posts about being trans’#’it looks like it would be a lot of fun to get in on this cool thing and be someone special and have a secret identity in real life’#it is so much fun to play pretend. and it is so damaging to act like these intrusive thoughts actually mean anything about your gender#bc when you spend too much time on the internet and start entertaining the idea of being someone else#it starts to feel weird when people irl refer to you as who you are with all relevant gendered language#dysphoria is being manufactured by overthinking about things while having ideas flow into your mind by a constant social media stream#for a whole generation of people online it is almost never an actual natural thing
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wild how having a good time with your loved ones is helpful for stopping yourself from overthinking
#im using words#anyways i overthinked myself into a bad Quarter Life Crisis earlier today#and then i spend time with my fam and i just.#'oh its not that bad actually'#man. the human brain really is something huh
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every friendship i have feels fake fr
#like why do people think i don’t peep shit…..bc i really be picking up on EVERYTHING#i just make no indication that i did and continue like shit is normal#and i’m so bad at ending friendships and don’t want to be alone but is it even worth it when no one feels true#and i don’t even be trusting my intuition on the shit i peep i just tell myself i’m overthinking until i get a confirmation and i’m like wow#i was fucking right#but it’s whatever like i’m really done trying and telling ppl my personal business and trying to be friendly like it’s done#i hate to sound pessimistic and shit i do have some truly normal good friends but it’s like 3 out of like the 20#and i’m fr optimistic that i will find my people soon and this doesn’t deter me from making friends at all#but it just sucks when people aren’t who you think they are in a way that conflicts w maintaining a friendship w them#i don’t need no one to be perfect just not to act shady and weird#AND EVERYONE in my life be on some weird shit…it’s actually insane atp#like i hate when ppl move weird like i’m not gonna fucking notice#but bc i lowkey don’t have a backbone i just stay their friends and ignore it even tho deep down it’s always there w me and always makes me#feel some type of way like ik it’s not good for me but once i get some real ppl with me it’ll be much easier to shed all those ppl#but god damn it’s just annoying…..#i’m not perfect i know i clash with people not everyone can be my friend and that’s totally okay and normal#but why be under the guise of friendship but move weird w me … just say that we don’t click and move on like that’s it#i’m just pissed bro this is why i spend the most time w my bf other than the fact we dating he’s genuinely one of the only ppl who i trust#and isn’t on some dumb shit#and the couple friends i have that are normal…god bless them for being in my life bc i would#go crazy if i didn’t have at least a couple normal ppl there..bc they really show me that it’s possible to have a friendship that isn’t#shady..ugh#whatever i just feel like i’m at the point where i’m self deprecating bc everyone makes me feel like shit ab myself#like when u have all these failed friendships it just makes me feel like i’m at fault and i’m not worth anyone’s time and i’m a fuck up#but yeah like i said bc i do have some genuinely good friends ik all the blame isn’t on me#i just can’t help to feel that way bc it’s easier to blame#urself than others when u got depression 🙂#anywho#rant over#damn i just posted and this is long as fuck oops 😭
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thoughts on shifting + manifesting with ease. (as someone who's shifted many times, alongside manifesting)
coming back to this side of tumblr after spending years away from it has made me realized how many of you are truly the problem, it might sound kinda harsh but really. so many of you ask the same questions over and over again.. "but HOW do i do it?" "how do i shift" "how do i manifest" JUST DO IT. stop looking for signs, stop looking for methods or "cheat codes". just do it man.
your mind is so powerful and it actually kinda irritates me how many of you doubt it, just because it "seems to easy". you don't understand how you've been manipulated by society to not see your power. how have you been on loa social media, shifting social media, for soooo long — yet still don't see it?? let me tell you..
the moment i got off social media, the moment i took time to erase everything in my head and stop overthinking everything, was the moment everything came to me. i already had it, i just needed to stop telling myself i didn't.
it took me barely any time to get used to convincing myself i had everything i wanted, i shifted to my desired realities, and everything worked out in my favour. AFFIRMING IS ALL YOU NEED. I AM YELLING AT YOU. JUST AFFIRM.
really, please, affirm. the routine is so simple.
1. any bad thought is instantly turned positive.
ex: "i really want her waist"
to
"am i stupid ... i have her waist.. tbh mine even looks a little better.. am i crazy?? like actually? this must be a glitch or something cause my waist is practically identical to hers.. i literally love my waist"
exaggerate, say what you need to say to erase the negativity.
2. it's yours, so act like it..
ex: talk about ur DR normally. it's your reality, not a fantasy land you made up in a dream. ITS REAL. it's a reality. for example, i'd watch videos of my s/o in this reality, and speak about our lives in my dr. "i can't wait to see __ tonight... god i love __, it's so nice hanging out with them everyday.. wow they look so pretty in this video — i'm so lucky their mine". it's natural, they're yours aren't they? exactly, so act like it.. this is used the exact same way when manifesting..
you see someone with something you want? thinking of something you wanna do? something you wanna be? ... it's urs... so can you act like it?? like whyre u feeling sad someone else got a job promotion 😹😹 you literally got a better one ...
3. that's literally it
you don't need a fancy method (although it can give u some peace of mind.. let's be real, a lot of methods set y'all back and make you overwhelmed, blocking ur beliefs and making everything seem harder). you literally just need to live. tell yourself it's done, over and over again. nothing matters. it's done, it's yours, you have it, you're happy and fulfilled. other peoples sucess should really mean nothing to you negatively. it shouldn't make you stressed, shouldn't make you feel behind.. why would it when you have everything, you can do everything, go anywhere, and you can be anything.
it'll seem like manifesting blogs and shifting blogs just repeat the same things.. which is true, they do, because i'm telling you there's nothing more to it than what you've already read. it is that easy. all it takes is your mind. decide, and tell yourself.
as i said before, it took me barely anytime to switch my mindset once i actually started focusing on myself, my journey and not every body else's results. repeating stuff to yourself WORKS. repeating is literally ALL i did. choose what i want, told myself it's mine in any way i could describe it. and there, it's mine. ive shifted to many different realities, along side gaining a better life in this one after years of convincing myself there was nothing for me. if i can break out of the cycle, trust me you can too. i cannot describe how desperate i was at the beginning, how long i took in false info and wasted time on methods all while doubting every single thing.
so why don't you believe it? you'll sit there and tell yourself over and over again that you're ugly, or broke, or friendless... but you won't tell urself that you've shifted? that you have your dream body...? girl okay i guess....
once you realize nothing besides your mind truly matters, is when you'll be free with yourself. circumstances don't matter, past feelings don't matter, doubts don't matter, your mind is all you need.
yes this is just loa explained longer, that's the point of the post because some of u still can't get it in ur heads
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just alhaitham realizing he wants a baby with you... cw: pregnancy, children
alhaitham is in the middle of reading, spending his lunch hour tucked away in a quiet corner puspa cafe when he feels a poke at his arm.
he slides his headphones off, looking over to see a child standing next to him, clutching something to her chest.
“excuse me– mister scribe sir?”
the scribe sighs, tucking his book away. “just alhaitham is fine.”
the child blushes furiously. “oh, um, mister alhaitham sir, my teacher says that your job is reading. could you read this for me please?”
that was an incredibly juvenile description of his job, but he doesn't correct her. the girl slides what alhaitham recognizes as the children’s book that tighnari had written (and collei had illustrated) to teach the basics of forest safety. the storytelling was mediocre and the illustrations were average, but he supposed they were sufficient enough for children who had no higher education.
alhaitham glances at the clock. he still has a half hour left of his break, and he was nothing if not an advocate for educating young minds.
—
“the lesson is to always be prepared when traveling through the rainforest,” alhaitham explains, closing the book. “there’s always a high probability that you’ll run into fungi, especially if you're on foot like little cyno was. you’d do well to add a variety of antitoxins to your first aid kit.”
the girl considers this, brows pulled into a furrow as she sips at the sunsettia juice he’d ordered for her.
“why didn’t little cyno just go around the fungi when he saw them? then he wouldn't have gotten the sports.”
“the spores,” alhaitham corrects. “but your point stands. common sense is perhaps the most effective survival tool.”
children, with their inquisitive and imaginative minds, were adequate problem solvers. they didn't overthink things, instead utilizing a simple, pragmatic way of thinking.
he wouldn't mind raising a little scholar of his own with you.
he’d thought a normal amount about having a child before. typical musings, like when he would have one (after school, after securing a decent job). or what their names would be (esfir for a boy, laila for a girl). who would bear his children (the only person he’d ever considered was you).
but these aren’t idle musings anymore. this time, the idea hits him full force, quickly spiraling into a hope. a dream for the future.
a boy with his eyes and your smile. a girl with your hair colour and his nose. how you’d raise them together, how they’d grow to be intelligent, inquisitive, creative, and endlessly compassionate.
“sweetheart, there you are!” a relieved voice exclaims.
the girl sitting across from him perks up as her mother runs up to the table, her smile widening. “mama! mister alhaitham read me a book!”
“i'm so sorry she interrupted your lunch, sir,” the frantic mother looks sheepish as she apologizes, but alhaitham dismisses it with a wave of his hand.
“it’s alright. if anything, this experience has been rather enlightening.”
_____
“that's quite the stack,” you comment mildly when your husband enters the bedroom with an armful of textbooks. “which new topic have you been intrigued with this week?”
alhaitham sets the books down on the nightstand and answers, “conception.”
his answer is spoken simply, casually, like he’s talking about the weather and not one of the most life-altering decisions you could make as a couple.
“conception,” you repeat slowly. “like…”
“you’re a doctor. you’re aware of the biological process behind it.”
“of course i am,” you say, suddenly feeling flustered. “i just– we’ve never talked about this before, haitham.”
your husband sighs, walking around to your side of the bed and sitting by your legs. “well…i want to talk about it.”
seconds pass. seconds that almost feel like a lifetime as you watch each other, looking for any unspoken signs of hesitation.
“it’s up to you,” he finally says, gently placing a hand on your ankle. “it’s your body, you’re the one who would be carrying our baby for nine months. if you’re not ready–”
you don't need to hear the rest, crawling over to cup his face in your hands and press a soft kiss to his lips. “i'm ready. we’re ready.”
his eyes immediately brighten, and he momentarily leaves your grasp to reach across the bed to grab the topmost book from his stack. “there are certain positions that we can try to increase our chances of conceiving. according to studies conducted in fontaine, this one has an effectiveness of 89.5%. it’s called a mating press…”
you wish you could say it’s the first time he’s propositioned you with educational literature.
“wait, you didn’t ask me,” you giggle, threading your fingers through his hair and tugging lightly.
he pauses. “will you try this position with me?”
“no, smartass. ask me to have a baby with you.”
your husband grins, hooking his hands under your ass to pull you into his lap. you gasp as he does so, his head dipping down to the crook of your neck. he says your name, lips brushing the shell of your ear.
“will you let me put a baby in you, dearest?”
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BATBOYS TOXIC TRAITS / RED FLAGS + GREEN FLAGS ── .✦
a/n: the thing is, they all aren’t like problematic when it comes to relationships but they do have some things and flaws which when heard sound “oh okay that’s fine” but may be like super annoying in a irl relationship also this was a request by anon (here)!
(Tags: batboys x reader)
DICK GRAYSON ── .✦
RED FLAGS:
Chronic People-Pleaser: Will prioritize everyone’s needs over his own (or yours), leading to burnout… and you having to remind him you exist.
Flirty by Nature: He’s not trying to flirt… it just happens. That waitress? Nope, not on purpose, but yeah, you’ll roll your eyes a lot.
Hero Complex: He always has to “save” people, including you, even when you’re perfectly fine handling it yourself. “I got it, babe.” No, you don’t, Dick.
GREEN FLAGS:
Emotionally Intelligent: He can read your mood like a book and knows exactly how to make you smile (with pancakes shaped like hearts).
Physical Affection Expert: Hugs, cuddles, forehead kisses—you’re basically his personal teddy bear.
Supportive King: He’s your biggest cheerleader, hyping you up in the most genuine, heartfelt ways. “That’s my girl.”
JASON TODD ── .✦
RED FLAGS:
Anger Issues: He’ll throw hands for you at the slightest provocation. Guy looks at you wrong? Jason’s already removing his jacket.
Emotionally Guarded: Good luck getting him to open up. He’s more likely to tell you his deepest fears after you’ve fallen asleep.
Reckless Behavior: He’ll drag you into the most insane situations and act like it’s no big deal. “What do you mean this is dangerous? It’s fine.”
GREEN FLAGS:
Loyal to a Fault: He’ll defend you with his life, no questions asked. “You mess with her, you mess with me.”
Soft Romantic: Beneath the tough exterior, he’s writing you sweet notes and remembering the little things, like how you take your coffee.
Protective (in a good way): He won’t smother you, but he’ll make sure you always feel safe, even if it’s just crossing the street.
TIM DRAKE ── .✦
RED FLAGS:
Workaholic: He’ll forget to eat, sleep, and sometimes text you back because “the case was just getting good!”
Overthinks Everything: Spends hours analyzing your last text to figure out if you were mad or just tired. “Was that period passive-aggressive?”
Terrible Self-Care: You’ll have to force him to drink water and go to bed like a mom with a rebellious child.
GREEN FLAGS:
Incredibly Thoughtful: He remembers every detail about you, from your favorite flower to that obscure hobby you mentioned once.
Adorably Awkward: His shy smiles and fumbling over words when you flirt back are endlessly endearing.
Problem Solver: He’ll find solutions to all your problems, from fixing your computer to making your bad day better with tea and soft music.
DAMIAN WAYNE ── .✦
RED FLAGS:
Insanely Jealous: He glares daggers at anyone who looks at you too long. “Why is he breathing near you?”
Judgmental: He might critique your taste in music, books, or anything else with his usual bluntness. “This… is what you listen to?”
Control Freak: He likes things done a certain way and will try to “help” you by micromanaging your life.
GREEN FLAGS:
Devoted Partner: Once he’s in, he’s all in. You’ll never doubt his commitment because he’s always showing up for you.
Loyal Beyond Measure: He’ll defend your honor to anyone, even Bruce. “She’s perfect, Father. You simply lack taste.”
Surprisingly Gentle: Despite his tough exterior, he has a soft side that only you get to see, like the way he pets animals—or you—so tenderly.
BRUCE WAYNE ── .✦
RED FLAGS:
Emotionally Repressed: He’s basically a human brick wall when it comes to expressing his feelings. “I’m… fine.” No, Bruce, you’re not.
Work Comes First: He’ll disappear into the Batcave for days unless you drag him out by the cape which becomes quickly annoying.
Overprotective: He’ll want to track your every move, not because he doesn’t trust you, but because he worries too much. “It’s for your safety.”
GREEN FLAGS:
Quietly Romantic: He may not be overly expressive, but he’ll show love through subtle gestures—like a bouquet of your favorite flowers left on the table.
Ultimate Provider: He makes sure you never want for anything, whether it’s emotional support or physical comfort.
Unshakable Devotion: Once you’ve captured his heart, he’s yours forever. There’s no halfway with Bruce—he’s in it for the long haul.
#jason todd#jason todd x reader#dc#batboys#dick grayson x reader#dick grayson#dick grayson imagine#dick grayson headcanon#nightwing imagine#nightwing headcanon#nightwing#nightwing x reader#red hood x reader#red hood headcanon#red hood#red hood imagine#batboys s/o#tim drake headcanon#tim drake x reader#tim drake#tim drake imagine#red robin headcanon#red robin x reader#red robin#red robin imagine#damian al ghul x reader#damian wayne x reader#damian al ghul#damian wayne#bruce wayne x reader
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Smalltown!Neglected!Meta!Reader x Yandere!Batfam ☁️ Part Five
☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️
Part One ☁️ Part Two ☁️ Part Three ☁️ Part Four ☁️ Part Six ☁️ Part Seven ☁️ Part Eight
☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️
A/N: Starting to realize I need to slow down, things are really getting complicated and I want everything to be included. Including proper warnings and important plot details and to really keep things more polished.
A/N: Also, going through the doubts on my writing, but we is gonna persevere, y’all. I’m going to take some time to focus on Obsessions.
Warning(s): Yandere themes, Obsessive behavior, Kidnapping, Vomiting, Slight Stalking
☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️
After running Date’s life, Tim starts to investigate Reader full throttle. Before it was just something he did to relax between cases when he couldn’t shut off his brain. Now, he didn’t want to miss anything. Not a single detail. He’d also been having trouble digging up an information on reader’s small town.
Apparently, they weren’t up to date on their technology. Can’t hack computers for information if the computers don’t exist. Still, it was nice to find out about Reader’s childhood. (Making notes for Bruce to add certain flora and fauna to the Manor’s garden and looking up any restaurants in Gotham that he could possibly take Reader too. You know, as friends.) But, Tim was nothing if not stubborn.
Reader, having a bit of whiplash from Dick’s comforting and sudden departure starts trying to fill their time by hanging out with Cassandra, Duke, and/or Stephanie.
They also call back home informing Nana about the Date incident. Surprisingly enough, Nana was sympathetic. (Though Reader couldn’t help thinking she was using that condescending small town sarcasm. Maybe they’d just been in Gotham for too long?) Regardless, Nana lends a comforting ear and even talks about BFF and their older brother, Childhood Crush, to Reader in an attempt to distract them. Telling them what the two have been up to. (How much they miss you. They can’t wait for you to come home visit.)
Reader, however, is a tad more concerned with Younger Brother. Making sure to ask how he is fairing and if he could come visit them in Gotham for a bit. Just to give Nana and Grand Daddy a much needed break since their age is catching up with them. (Aren’t you so sweet? Caring so much for your real family.)
But, Nana brushes reader off. No need, he’s been hanging out with Childhood Crush and BFF. They’ve really taken him under their wing. (They’d make great a great partners. Don’t you think, dear?) It does arouse Reader’s suspicions, but when they call their Younger Brother, he sounds… fine… Said he was having more fun with BFF than Childhood Crush, but that’s a given. (BFF knows Reader best, and won’t let anything happen to him or Reader.) They’re probably overthinking things about things back home. (That pang of homesickness just doesn’t seem to go away.)
At school, however, things were changing.
Damian wasn’t lying to himself about scaring off Reader’s friends. A few started to avoid Reader suddenly. But, a few, mostly the wealthier ones, stayed close. Not at all bothered by Damian’s sudden campaign. Some even introducing Reader to their closer circles.
Reader’s happy to have more friends, but the loss of Date and Reader’s more down to earth friends weighed on them. Reader’s new group felt like an isolated bubble cage that encloses tightly around them (and wouldn’t let them go.)
Bruce has been pretty strict about who Reader spends time with since the gala. But, Reader, going stir crazy when Cass, Steph, and Duke, respectively, are to busy (have patrol and missions), decides to ask Barbara if they can hang out with her. (A stranger is better than nothing.)
Tim’s seems to be too busy with whatever he’s doing. (He’s technically spending time on Reader, rather than with Reader.) Reader loves Alfred, but they’re always helping him cook. Dick’s gone off on some errand in Buldhaven or Gotham (Reader can’t remember, they’re a bit annoyed by how finicky he can be with giving Reader attention.). Jason might actually choke reader if they suggest hanging out. And, Reader is still pissed at Damian for being a rude little shit (Plus, they suspect he has something to do with their friends leaving them. They just can’t prove it.)
Barbara agrees to bring Reader to work with her at the Gotham City Library. Fully expecting Reader to mostly stay to themselves or possibly sneak off. (As members of the family are prone to do.) She is pleasantly surprised that Reader actually tends to stay by her side. Of course, Reader goes and gets a few books to curl up with. But, they quietly chat with Barbara, occasionally assisting with task, and mostly just enjoy silent companionship.
Reader doesn’t expect Barbara to entertain them, they can entertain themselves. They just don’t want to be alone at the moment. (Reader hates being alone when they’re sad. Hate. Hate. Hates it.) Barbara finds the silent and soft companionship to be a balm for the soul, so to speak. There’s no pressure. No duty. Just companionship. (It’s eases her mind how Reader is willing to stay safe. They’re not being dramatic or doing something foolish. I can get used to this.)
After the day is over, Barbara reports how Reader behaved back to Bruce. (Didn’t wander, stayed close by, wasn’t rude or sarcastic. That Gala had to have been a fluke. It has to be those horrible friends of Reader’s corrupting them.) If anything, it builds a level of trust with Bruce that Reader can be cautious and they won’t have to worry about them leaving. (Running away. Ha!)
Bruce decides Reader deserves a little more trust. (He wants to spoil his child.) Giving them more leeway to spend time in Gotham. But, only with members of the family. Which would be fine, if they were available. There’s, unfortunately, been an Arkham Breakout.
The entire family is on high alert for the next few days, especially since Joker escaped this time. (Hell, no. The family isn’t risking it. They won’t allow it. If Joker does something to Reader he’s dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Batman won’t stop anyone for killing him this time if he dares.) The family prioritize his capture, even recruiting the Gotham Sirens and the Superfamily to get the job done. It’s probably the fastest Joker’s ever been caught. (Joker is definitely pissed over the matter. And, will be making it everyone’s problem next time he gets out. What are you protecting Batsy? What are you trying to hide from me? Are we not friends?
Reader gets a brief introduction to Clark Kent during this ordeal. Before, Reader had only seen Conner and Jon around the manor hanging out with Damian and Tim respectively. (Conner would always try to flirt, which annoyed Reader. And, Jon was avoid on principle of being near Damian. Though, Reader was nice if they caught him alone in the manor. Which was growing more frequent recently.)
Clark is charmed, surprised by the Reader having grown up in a Smalltown. For Reader, it’s nice to meet someone who understands the longing for simplicity. Though Clark personally felt like he had something bigger to achieve outside of his town. Still they appreciate each other’s mindset. (Clark also wouldn’t mind inviting Reader out to the Kent farm. It would be fun to annoy Bruce. Plus, Reader is clearly struggling in Gotham. He’s not wrong.)
With Joker locked up, the family relaxes… Somewhat. They still have the rest of the rouge gallery to catch and have to work overtime to do it. Hardly any of them are seen outside the Batcave, which Reader is eighty-four percent certain is in the library.
Reader spends a lot of time pacing the halls. Looking at the paintings and furniture. It’s lonely. It’s like living in a house that’s haunted by ghost you’re supposed to know, but don’t. (If I have to live in a house haunted by ghost, I’d rather be haunted by the ones that loved me. I wanna go home. I want Momma and Daddy. I hate being alone. I hate it here.)
Stephanie, however, having made plans with Reader, finally gets a chance to take them out into Gotham. It takes a nearly a week, but they do manage to get out into the city together. Stephanie showing Reader all her favorite sights, pointing out landmarks and fun things. It’s possibly the funnest day Reader’s had since coming to Gotham. Arcades, Ice Skating, food trucks, street performers, it’s all new and exciting.
Nothing good last in Reader’s life it seems.
In broad daylight, Reader is forcefully grabbed and thrown into the back of a truck.
There’s a massive down side to being Bruce Wayne’s child. You easily get taken hostage and held for ransom.
Stephanie is helpless. She can only watch it happen too far away to make it to Reader in time. The horror and fear on Reader’s face made her stomach turn violently.
She immediately called Barbara to start tracking the vehicle and the thugs, sending an alert out to the entire family.
Once done she couldn’t stop herself from letting the disgust and shame bubble from her gut out on to the pavement. Just the thought of Reader being hurt making her physically ill. (Give them back. How dare they take what’s mine? It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have left them alone. They’re helpless without me.)
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Katsuki deciding how to propose to you:
“Dude you’re overthinking this. She’s gonna say yes no matter what you do or say. If she’s stayed with your grumpy attitude all this time then she’s obviously commited.” Kirishima was explaining because Katsuki had come over 2 hours ago and gone over 5 different plans on how he w could go about proposing.
There were plans that involved a plethora of flowers, walks on the beach, hot air balloons, and skywriting. All elaborate and ridiculous.
“Yea but I don’t do romantic shit. If I don’t at least-fuck- if I don’t make this some grand gesture or some shit she’s gonna think she’s spending forever with a loser.” He grumbles laying back on the bed while Eiji was playing on his game system.
“You don’t think, maybe, possibly, you’re overthinking this?? Y/N doesn’t seem like the type that would want all of these convulted plans man.”
“Are you calling my woman simple? Do I need to kick your ass in your own home shitty hair?!” He sat up like he was already about to leap.
“No! No. Calm down! I’m just saying that you might want to think about something a little more….. intimate maybe.” Eiji says, trying to find the right words as to not said the angry Pomeranian into another frenzy. He was already exhausted and didn’t have the energy to use his hardening if Bakugo chose now to pick a fight.
“Intimate? Like propose to her in the middle of us boning? What kinda dumb shit-“
“What the hell is your problem bakubro? You do know there is more than just sexual intamcy right? *whispers* pick up a book” he mumbles. Eijirou pauses his game and turns around to face Katsuki.
“Stop overthinking. You want to lay your cold heart out- it’s a joke- then do something so you’ll feel comfortable telling her how you feel. She’s gonna remember your words more than this dumb shit you’re planning.” Eiji states looking directly at Katsuki now.
“Ugh. All of this shit is stupid. Maybe I’ll just slide the damn ring on her finger while she’s asleep. Then I can avoid all this gross mushy shit.” He breathes out and starts packing up his shit to leave.
“Bakugo, I’m telling you this as your best friend and hopefully future best man, I will be neither of those things anymore if you choose to do that. In fact Y/N might actually kill you when YOU fall asleep.” He snickers.
Bakugo is almost at the door now when he turns around and says, “Fuck it. I’m just going with my original plan! If you don’t hear from after this weekend it’s because she said no and i ended my life. Oh, and if you tell ANYONE about this-“
“Ok. I get it. Go propose to your girlfriend already” Eiji says with a bright smile on his face.
Katsuki shoots him a quick grin before he leaves to go prep for the biggest night of his life.
*Part 2 of is out now😇
Katsuki Bakugo Masterlist
Tooties Tags: Tags: @dreamcastgirl99 @xxvendettaxx @jays-adventure3 @theloveofnagiseishiroslife @mintsbubbletea @darkstarlight82 @anon-mouse223 @b134ch-m4h-ey3z @i-literally-cant-with-this @flowerbedbaby @kit-katsukii @blaize-hewwo-deactivated2024062 @tippy-toes @superlegend216 @liliththeunqualifiedsimp @burgvndy @yoyolovesdaiki @zaiban2989 @citrustsuki-2 @queenpiranhadon
#imagine#bakugou x reader#bakugou katsuki#mha fanfiction#bakugou katsuki x reader#bakugou drabble#katsuki bakugo mha#drabble#bakugo headcanons#katsuki bakugo#kacchan bakugou#bakugo katsuki#katsuki bakugou#bakugo#bnha bakugou#katsuki bakugou x reader#bakugo katuski#bnha katsuki
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