#but why be under the guise of friendship but move weird w me … just say that we don’t click and move on like that’s it
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every friendship i have feels fake fr
#like why do people think i don’t peep shit…..bc i really be picking up on EVERYTHING#i just make no indication that i did and continue like shit is normal#and i’m so bad at ending friendships and don’t want to be alone but is it even worth it when no one feels true#and i don’t even be trusting my intuition on the shit i peep i just tell myself i’m overthinking until i get a confirmation and i’m like wow#i was fucking right#but it’s whatever like i’m really done trying and telling ppl my personal business and trying to be friendly like it’s done#i hate to sound pessimistic and shit i do have some truly normal good friends but it’s like 3 out of like the 20#and i’m fr optimistic that i will find my people soon and this doesn’t deter me from making friends at all#but it just sucks when people aren’t who you think they are in a way that conflicts w maintaining a friendship w them#i don’t need no one to be perfect just not to act shady and weird#AND EVERYONE in my life be on some weird shit…it’s actually insane atp#like i hate when ppl move weird like i’m not gonna fucking notice#but bc i lowkey don’t have a backbone i just stay their friends and ignore it even tho deep down it’s always there w me and always makes me#feel some type of way like ik it’s not good for me but once i get some real ppl with me it’ll be much easier to shed all those ppl#but god damn it’s just annoying…..#i’m not perfect i know i clash with people not everyone can be my friend and that’s totally okay and normal#but why be under the guise of friendship but move weird w me … just say that we don’t click and move on like that’s it#i’m just pissed bro this is why i spend the most time w my bf other than the fact we dating he’s genuinely one of the only ppl who i trust#and isn’t on some dumb shit#and the couple friends i have that are normal…god bless them for being in my life bc i would#go crazy if i didn’t have at least a couple normal ppl there..bc they really show me that it’s possible to have a friendship that isn’t#shady..ugh#whatever i just feel like i’m at the point where i’m self deprecating bc everyone makes me feel like shit ab myself#like when u have all these failed friendships it just makes me feel like i’m at fault and i’m not worth anyone’s time and i’m a fuck up#but yeah like i said bc i do have some genuinely good friends ik all the blame isn’t on me#i just can’t help to feel that way bc it’s easier to blame#urself than others when u got depression 🙂#anywho#rant over#damn i just posted and this is long as fuck oops 😭
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