#i snapped at her and i feel bad
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Almost threw up because I was over stimulated in my exams 🫠🫠 but hey, at least they're over
#ek toh padha kam tha#aur upar se subhe subhe mere sab dost ek sath bol rhe the#chaar jan chaar disha aur chaar sawal#aur upar se do ghante ki neend#aur uske UPAR Butterfly almost ripped off the last of my elbow scab for aise hi 🫠🫠🥲🥲#the way it's burning still#i snapped at her and i feel bad#but bc dukh rha gai abhi bhi#which is after two hours and half hours of that#desiblr#suffer ye suhana nahi#desi tumblr
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Birds of a Feather previous / next
#my art#feralnette au#birds of a feather#long tags#sorry I went apeshit in the tags#LETS SAY IT ALL TOGETHER NOW#I - M - A - G - OOOOOOOOO#its fun drawing marinette's back to Alya and having her appear stout and unstoppable and totally logical#and then you see her face and she's like two seconds from completely snapping and is keeping it together by a thread#as a note just because mari feels very certainly abt smth doesnt mean she's right. feelings can be valid and also irrational#in the throes of grief she decided it was better to be alone than to lose someone again so she started pulling away#and lila made pulling away very very very easy to do#shes also vaguely aware she's being unfair in pinning this on alya which is why she started spinning the drain on cockmoth again#legitimately all the shit that's happened to her wouldn't have been so catastrophic if he was never in the picture and she knows it#but the bitterness of her bestie choosing a fantastic liar over her at the worst of times stiiiiiings#alya's personal timing was bad but lila really took advantage of the fact that marinette had been acting off and weird#she basically clocked marinette as being unstable from SOMETHING and made up a lie about her#knowing she wouldn't have the strength to defend herself#between her social life going tachy bc of lila and losing fu in a way that felt like personhood death marinette was really put on the spot#and alya doing her thing of busting in there and assuming her bias is correct was a terrible combo#essentially marinette is highly unstable and alya is just realizing that#busting in and giving her a lecture when she's slightly hysterical and definitely delirious from exhaustion is NOT the way#to show her she's self sabotaging#cuz thats just gonna make her double down on self sabotaging. bc marinette will not accept that she is also a CHIIIIILD
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No, because I've already talked about this to the Discord besties but I'm still vibrating over the fact that Percy didn't just sacrifice himself for Annabeth, he outsmarted her. He tricked her into letting him be the one to stay behind that's such an amazing detail
#the way the show and specifically walker portrays percy's incredible social and emotional intelligence#i love it so so much#he immediately knows what happened between annabeth and echidna#he knows the right thing to say to cheer her up when she feels bad about snapping at grover#he understands and validates her relationship with athena even though he doesn't 100% GET IT get it#he is so so smart and i love how they're showing that in both dialogue and walker's acting choices#you can SEE the gears turning in his head whenever stuff starts happening#10/10 but also that cliffhanger was inhumane#percy jackson and the olympians#percy jackson disney+#percy jackson#annabeth chase#percabeth#walker scobell#percy jackson episode 4#percy jackson spoilers
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Looks like you found one of those golden retriever girls! Good luck with that, Tamarack
(Fake screenshots! These are fan made based on incorrect quotes and not in the game)
#our life#our life 2#our life now and forever#olnf#olnf tamarack#tamarack baumann#our life tamarack#incorrect quotes#fan edit#fan made#not canon#mc annabeth#annabeth is soooooo jason mendoza coded it's crazy#like she's not stupid but she is kinda dumb and happy most of the time and she loves tama more than anything#this quote probably works a little better in step 3 but i don't have those sprites so maybe I'll redo this when i do#also tama is the ONLY person allowed to call her annie! everyone else calls her beck or maybe annabeth if they're close#i need the step 2 angst so bad it's not even funny. i need it and i need it right now#like none of my mcs are having a good time in step 2 but becks arc is about how hard it can be to always be the positive and upbeat one#and that maybe her two best neighbors take that for granted sometimes and need to let her feel negatively wo making her feel guilty#sunshine characters breaking down/snapping my beloved
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Sorry ive been so inactive recently, I have a life that I needed to get back to for a bit! I am returning with a new hyperfixation (i am seven years late)
I drew me and my friend’s favorite characters in a silly artstyle!! We are going through the game together and we are almost done with Chapter Four (i am so scared) (ignore how tiny Rantaro’s head is) (i rant in the tags beware)
#Me and my buddies favs are Rantaro (mine) Shuichi Kokichi and Kaito#Maki is there to finish the trio and Angie is there because I love her#No spoilers past chapter 5 please!!#Why does Kaitos hair look like that /gen /pos#danganronpa v3#shuichi saihara#kaito momota#maki harukawa#kokichi ouma#rantaro amami#angie yonaga#drv3#drv3 killing harmony#I also gave Rantaro sandals because he deserves them 💙 gone too soon#If you see style inconsistency its because i drew kokichi and co today and the other three yesterday lol#Question why does every fem character have a skirt#Giving Tenko and Himiko pants asap it works fine with the rest of their outfits but i did give Maki leggings too#Miu is so freaky why did they write her like that (we couldnt read half of her lines without feeling utterly confused) /silly#i love Keebo sm im so scared bcs he hasnt died yet#Is it Keebo or Kiibo ive seen both#No comment on Kiyo but i feel like his story could have worked a bit better if the implications were more present#Poor guy but at the same time i dont really like him (justice for my girls Tenko and Angie)#I love Gonta sm i love his obsession with bugs he is so silly#WHY DOES SHUICHIS VOICE SOUND SO EMO IN THE ENGLISH VERSION#Dont get me wrong the va didnt do a bad job i just really like the Japanese version more it fits his vibe so much better#Rip Kaede your death scarred me bcs i had never consumed dr content before starting v3 as a joke#Tsumugi. My behated. THERE IS NO WAY SHE IS THAT BORING FOR NO REASON#Kirumi was gonna snap eventually lmao i would have too /j#Rip Ryoma your love hotel is so depressing#v3 spoilers
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Angst time :D👍
You can read my rambling about her in the tags
#listen LisTEN TO Me#hear me OuT#oh is hc time#I read a while ago howw empathetic people tend to feel bad when they feel any angry/“negative emoy#el archivo literalmrnte lo tengo giardafo como “problemas emocionales goes brrrr” xD#how they tend to bottle everything up cause it makes thrm feel shame about how their actions might be seen as “selfish”#despite having VERY good and VALID reasons to justify thrir anger#based on the pilot I think she's pretty meek and also a little bit of a pushover#also I was thinking she'll be pretty self consious and try to mask her emotions the best she can#which obviously is super unhealthy#I think that at some point she's just going to SNAP and is gonna be awful and soo sad and omg I cant wait to see it#give my girl some character development pls#cause as much as I like crybabies characters I also like for thrm to learn how to stand up for themselves#anyway sory if that didnt made sense xDd is just that I have never had so much fun with a fictional character#mi hija fr#el archivo literalmente lo tengo guardado vomo “problemas emocionales goes brrr” xD#ya ahora si los tags serios#tadc fanart#the amazing digital circus#tadc#tadc gangle#gangle
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Im just yapping but there is this fic on fimficton called Discord of Tomorrow that’s about s2 evil discord traveling forward in time right before he can be turned to stone to switch places with the version of himself (reformed discord) that exists when the elements of harmony are gone, so reformed discord gets stuck in the past and has had to snap away and hide the elements of harmony from the mane 6 so he can focus on trying to get back to the future without getting turned to stone, all while dealing with the moral dilemma of him realizing how easy it was to take the elements and how easy it would be to seriously just take Equestria over again vs being worried about what evil discord is currently doing to his friends in present time. It’s only like three chapters but I think the plot is so funny and the author didn’t even get to the part where evil discord is in the future and the mane 6 is trying to figure out wtf his problem is, thinking he has amnesia or something. I want to make a comic expanding on it so bad I’m like seriously obsessed with it I can’t stop thinking about it
#jabber#there is zero info on where to find the writer the fic is like 8 years old#I wish I could find the author so bad#drawing mlp Is like so easy that I’m getting comic hungry#the idea of past discord being like god past me was so stupid I could have permanently his the elements and#skipped that whole song and dance with the riddle and the labyrinth#. he like hides out in fluttershys cottage while the mane 6 are at twilights freaking out about how evil discord#got away and reformed discord snapping the elements off their necks#and he is messing around and wearing the elements around his torso going on about how easy it is to take them#I want to draw that specifically#then later flutter shy shows up at her cottage and is freaked to find him there but tries to fake nice with him to get him to stay so#the mane 6 have time to arrive but discord has to come to his senses and realize she’s not being sincere and feels bad so he leaves#ughhh#and then the fic was never updated again#I’m so close to taking the torch I can’t stop thinking about this#discord of tomorrow
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#wordgirl#becky botsford#tobey mccallister#tobey mcallister iii#bad at tags#art#my art#doodle#tobecky#i love their dynamic#tobecky is cute#T-T#im dying#i feel like becky would be more expressive with her anger#and tobey would be silent and bubing till he snaps and does something evil#but thats just what I think cause of the show#I could 100% be wrong lol
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The Dobrynin family is a corpo family through and through, rooted in Arasaka and Orbital Air going back by several generations; though their powerful position within the corporate world ends with the children of Nadya and Matvey Dobrynin. With Vitali and Daniil fired from Arasaka and Kang Tao respectively— the former indirectly getting his parents fired, too— and Roksana having refused to set foot within a megacorporation from the start, the family begins crumbling apart at the very seams when clashing interests lead to grudges, betrayal, and pointless acts of revenge. ↳ read the unrevised fic here if you're interested!
taglist (opt in/out)
@shellibisshe, @florbelles, @ncytiri, @roseeway, @stars-of-the-heart;
@lestatlioncunt, @katsigian, @radioactiveshitstorm, @estevnys, @adelaidedrubman;
@celticwoman, @rindemption, @carlosoliveiraa, @noirapocalypto, @dickytwister;
@killerspinal, @euryalex, @ri-a-rose, @velocitic, @thedeadthree;
@kanos, @swordcoasts, @ordinarymaine, @claudiawolf, @strafethesesinners
#cp2077#edit:daniil#edit:matvey#edit:nadya#edit:roksana#edit:vitali#nuclearocs#nuclearedits#the fic has a proper title now thank you everyone who voted in that poll ^_^ i'm very excited to start working on a rewrite!!#it's gonna be a lot bigger because i'm going to be including chunks of previous events that take place between in-game and this fic#all in flashbacks. so like. vitali's death and how he stabs mikhail while brainwashed and how he snaps out of it#and the fight they have later on. because all of those events are key moments referenced in the fic#but they're not explicitly mentioned because past me went with the assumption people had already read those fics#so i just described the events if that makes sense. but if i want this to work on its own i NEED to include them#anyway. night city's most dysfunctional family fr i have so much to say about them but i'll keep it brief for now#nadya and daniil have nadya's last name because matvey and nadya end up getting divorced#initially roksana also gets her mother's last name but she changes it back sometime later#because she doesn't want to be associated with her mother anymore#daniil's stats are very bad because he's a useless loser sorry for everyone who took a liking to him. he doesn't deserve your love#the word count still makes me :0!! also because like. i did that... i wrote that...#also made this template myself so i don't have a link for it sorry :( and also i made it in firealpaca and not ps#anyway yes very excited to see what you guys think of this and also if you have any questions feel free to shoot me asks!!
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long as fuck nails always painted with at least a clear coat club:
saiki kusuo
teruhashi kokomi
kaido shun
saiko metori
imu rifuta
nail biters club:
kuboyasu aren
yumehara chiyo
arisu makino
suzumiya hii
nendo riki
aiura mikoto (with fake nails over top)
(formerly) kaido shun
(formerly) toritsuka reita
(formerly) akechi touma
normal short nails 🙄:
hairo kineshi
mera chisato
satou hiroshi
toritsuka reita
akechi touma
#idk why i made this its just funny to me#i was just looking at how long my nails are rn and this came to mind#i think akechi bit his nails as a kid and then learned how much bacteria is there and snapped out of it so quick#ur gonna have to trust me on aiura cuz i just know.#she has to constantly resist the urge to bite off her press-ons but theyre a little tougher than normal nails so she still chews on em a li#kaido used to bite his nails BAD but he broke the habit a while after he started painting them#cuz swallowing nail polish constantly is really annoying and gross and DEFINITELY wasnt making him choke or anything noo shhh#im not rlly sure of my reasoning with toritsuka.. i just know#i couldn't decide for kusuke tbh cuz i feel like he just doesnt give a shit#but for him does that mean he would just let them grow out forever or that he would just bite them tf off ?#he would probably need short nails for all the hand work he does though so#maybe he maintains them normally but only for that reason#we all know he doesnt take care of himself so he wouldnt do it if he didnt need to#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#meows post
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What’s up with the ties between Sally & Eddie?
There are quite a few - to the point where I’m starting to suspect that they may be foils, or at least inherently tied together in the story.
First let's bring things back to the clocks. The “day” side has an obvious resemblance to Sally, like how the “night” side resembles Eddie. There’s not really much I can say here since we don’t know much more yet, and who knows if this has changed behind the scenes. But just think about that, the rarity of the color purple, night vs day, and the “monster”. Keep it in your head, I think it may be important.
Also the fact that Eddie is the only one with a watch, but Sally’s face has an incredibly similar face on her door.
Obviously Sally has some sort of beef with Eddie, despite him being nothing but friendly and (to our knowledge) being undeserving of it. One thought I entertained was “maybe Sally is dismissive of him because he’s a worker,” but that holds zero water when you consider how perfectly friendly Sally was with Howdy (karen Sally debunked <3). The second thought I had was “maybe Sally senses the queer in Eddie and it intimidates her” - which would make sense if Sally is a lesbian like I suspect. Internalized homophobia, anyone? This holds up if Eddie is going to turn out to be - not open about himself, but comfortable in his skin in a way that, say, Frank isn’t. Which I have a feeling that will be the case, which would likely make Sally put on airs even more so than usual.
Anyone else seeing a continuous trend of (social) masks and performances unfolding in the Neighborhood? I sure am.
But let’s talk about why I think they might be foils. They balance each other out in an interesting way, despite their only solid similarity being that Both will work/perform no matter the weather. They have a lot of closely related differences:
Eddie has been mentioned (and implied within the story so far) to have a deeper well of knowledge than he lets on, but acts humble about it. Sally has been mentioned (and implied) to know less than she portrays, but acts like a bit of a know-it-all - she pretends to know things that she doesn’t.
Eddie’s role is about helping others at his own expense, while Sally’s is using others to reach fame.
Eddie strives to connect with his Neighbors and is all about accuracy/precision. Sally is in her own little world and has proved to be more than willing to improvise / not think things through before acting.
Eddie is slow to anger, and Sally is easily irritated.
Selfless vs Selfish.
Night vs Day.
And to put them in the Johari Window - i believe that Sally resides in the Blind Spot (known to others, not known to self), and Eddie resides in either the Facade (not known to others, known to self) OR the Unknown (not known to others, not known to self). Personally I’m starting to believe that Eddie may reside in both.
It’s far too early to draw any real conclusions, and theorizing on all of this is difficult. I feel as though - as usual - we have puzzle pieces but no frame of reference for the way they fit together, what picture they build. And who knows, tomorrow’s update may shred this to ribbons, but I doubt it.
One thought I had was that they’re in cahoots about something - it doesn’t have to be something malicious or some sort of secret plot, it could simply be something they both know and are trying to keep quiet about. Eddie is trying to connect with Sally since they have this in common, but Sally is actively putting distance between them to preserve their secret / plausible deniability. Do I actually believe this? Meh. I’m just throwing spaghetti at the wall to see what sticks.
So current base thoughts: Sally is dismissive of Eddie either because he intimidates/scares her on an internalized level, or she’s actively trying to put distance between them for a currently unknown reason. There’s probably a secret third option I haven’t even considered!
#she's just so fascinatingly dismissive of him in a way she isn't with anyone else#she exclusively calls him 'mailman' she brushes him off when he tries to talk about her halloween costume-#i bet if anyone else has so much as Mentioned the word 'pedrolino' sally would be on them abt it#much like how barnaby had to Escape a convo w/ her bc she was that passionate#so what is it with eddie... why does she feel so strongly about him in such a negative way...#ITS KEEPING ME UP AT NIGHT <3#there is so much to unpack there i feel but i dont have the right scissors yet...#homebogging#welcome home speculation#wh speculation#man i feel so bad for eddie#he's trying to be friendly!!! he's trying to be her friend so hard!!! MAN.#i suspect that if eddie snaps in some way (he probably will) it will likely be in relation to sally#bc no one else treats him that way. like. even like... howdy keeps up an amicable pretense#but sally is straight up out here treating him like a pack mule named 'mailman' and brushing him off with obvious disinterest/frustration#LIKE DAMN. GIRL. WHAT DID HE DO TO DESERVE THIS#i love it. its fascinating. i cant wait to see how that unfolds
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Forever mourning this panel not making it into the anime
#attack on titan#kenny ackerman#a lot of his more comedic relief-ish charm gets lost in translation#hes funny as hell guys. i mean it. also#it is a lot more obvious in the manga that Kenny genuinely pities Historia’s circumstances to the point he lowkey feels a bit bad for her#her and Levi are very similar in conception#but her birth is a morally reprehensible action and Kenny genuinely believes killing her when she was 10 wouldve been far more merciful#so its like#his umpteenth reason to despise rod#this entire scene has a vastly different tone in the manga bc Kenny doesn't even start off aggressively#he only snaps when Historia insists for the third time#before that he's moreso patronizing and talks to her like shes still that bug-eyed 10 yo who saw her mother's throat sliced in front of her#like yk how in the anime he pushes her hard enough for her to fall on the floor when she grabs his gun#in the manga he literally just...#lifts it up in the air away from her grasp.
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Itsuomi: Talk to me and I'll do anything you want.
Oushi: Break up with Yuki.
Itsuomi:
#yubisaki to renren#yubisaki to renren spoilers#a sign of affection#a sign of affection spoilers#a sign of affection episode 10#itsuomi nagi#ashioki oushi#yuki itose#yuki x itsuomi#my god#just the audacity of this guy#sorry but it's not itsuomi's fault that Yuki's not into you#and honestly why would she be?#all you do is perceive her to be weak because of her deafness and then you go out of your way to bully and harass her#not to mention the times you kept trying to convince her that itsuomi was only into her to learn sign language and then bounce#once again#I will never EVER feel bad for this guy#and judging by the preview shun might finally tell Emma about itsuomi and yuki#and I swear to god if her reaction is worse than sushi's im gonna snap#and if she even THINKS about confronting yuki im gonna straight up spazz#just let my JSL lovebirds be happy and in love
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Hello to the Buddyfight fandom it's been a hot minute but god do i miss this show and have been making fanart for it in the background so i thought i'd post to tumblr too ^^
I swear every year I end up coming back to this show and wishing that it kept going, that it got rebooted, that i could just erase my memories of this show and just watch it all over again from the beginning to enjoy everything once again from Tasuku's own sense of justice twisting against him to Gao's suffering of PTSD and how heartfelt it was handled.
There's something very special about this show that I haven't been able to find replicated elsewhere. It has the most perfect world to exist (so much so that i'd love to be isekai'd into it if i could!!!) and while i have my own gripes with it (hi S3+) i honestly sometimes wish i could go back to my high school years of watching this show just to relive it all again :'D
Anyways!!! I hope there's still people out there who enjoy this show even ten years later who'll like seeing new funny artwork for it!
I wanna add too that i'm hoping to create a rewrite of FCBF (ft. seasons 1-3 + Ace) or at least create more artwork for my interpretation of it and its world!
Because, sincerely, this show is one of the few that, for all its flaws, hasn't disappointed me in the years that've followed unlike many other things i've seen and i wanna try to keep the spirit of it alive while I can thanks to that. And if there are any fans still in existence who love it, i wanna provide some food while its once again in my orbit because damn do i adore this show <3 <3 <#
#it's been like a year but im back on my buddyfight kick again#and since im back feeling dejected about OC things again i might try and focus on buddyfight stuff for a bit :Dc#fcbf#future card buddyfight#buddyfight#Deathgaze Death Dragon#Noboru Kodo#Tasuku Ryuenji#Gao Mikado#Drumbunker Dragon#Sawblade Dragon is a funny little critter I made as part of Tasuku's deck in my AU that im writing#and the other two monsters you can just barely see in the last image are Gallows/a Buddy I gifted Sofia#because tbh Sofia really needed a Buddy#specifically a Star Dragon World one#though as of this point in my AU she doesn't have her Star Dragon buddy bc it doesn't “Exist” yet ofc#middlemost image is also an old art thing but a headcanon thing for those mystery kids bc i like them despite not being a fan of-#Sofia/Tasuku all that much (tho had more effort gone into the writing behind them i probably would have liked them tbh lol)#I mean who doesn't like the idea of a guy who was at her side specifically and worked with her to achieve the bad guys goals#ends up watching his precious Buddy be attacked by her which is what snaps him out of his corrupted mental state to finally realize he's in#the wrong#& then when he later meets her as enemies he suffers cognitive dissonance of both loathing and respect towards her which culminates in him-#holding a personal vendetta towards her while also recognizing her efforts as a former ally who helped him during his Disaster days#and so when he gets to the future and has to rely on her help and guidance he has to confront the fact they're two sides of the same coin#& that she's neither an ally nor enemy but a mirror to himself of what he could've been if he'd decided to take action outside of the law#i mean#there was a LOOOOOOT of missed potential between Tasuku & Sofia if the show really wanted to go down the route of implying they end up a-#couple in canon (ESPECIALLY compared to Tasuku/Gao where it's clear Tasuku cares deeply about Gao and doesn't give a damn about Sofia)#and idk i felt we were robbed of a lot of things that could have given chemistry between Sofia and Tasuku
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Lime (thinking about his perfect score in AWS evaluations): you can’t seduce me tho
Mochi: … ok then ^pulls the elastic of her thigh high up and lets it snap back^
Later
Coco: why is Lime shoving his head in a bucket of water
THIS IS SO FUCKING ON BRAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I DIDNT EVEN THINK ABOUT MOCHI PLAYING THE THIGH CARD!!!!!! YOURE SO RIGHT!!!!!!!!!
#the fact that i could see his expression SO VIVDLY#also such a lime reaction#(is playing bobbing for apples or something?) (shrug)#trying so hard to snap himself out of the brain fog before he acts up BAD#i was gonna say (do you think she knows about the thigh thing?) but i think she does#he grabs her thighs way too often when theyre cuddling#hes probably told her once#sleepy mumblings of honest feelings#OF COURSE this is the only thing hes able to vocalize. very lime coded#telling mochi shes everything to you? nah.#telling mochi she has sexy thighs? YEAH
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Rowaelin Chapter 41 Kingdom of Ash:
She'd rebuild it—what she had been.
Perhaps one last time, perhaps only for a little while, but she'd do it. If only for Terrasen.
Rowan swooped from the mast, shifting as he reached her side at the rail. He surveyed the night-black sea beyond them. "You should rest." She slid him a glance. "I'm not tired." Not a lie, not in some regards. "Want to spar?" He frowned. "Training can start tomorrow."
"Or tonight." She held his piercing stare, matched his dominance with her own.
"It can wait a few hours, Aelin."
"Every day counts." Against Erawan, even a day of training would count.
Rowan's jaw tightened. "True," he said at last. "But it can still wait. There are ... there are things we need to discuss." The silent words rose in his animal-bright eyes. About you and me.
Her mouth went dry. But Aelin nodded In silence, they strode into their spacious quarters, its only decoration the wall of windows that overlooked the churning sea behind them. A far cry from a queen's chamber, or any she might have purchased as Adarlan's assassin.
At least the bed built into the wall looked clean enough, the sheets crisp and stainless. But Aelin headed for the oak desk anchored to the floor, and leaned against it while Rowan shut the door.
In the dim lantern light, they stared at each other.
She'd endured Maeve and Cairn; she'd endured Endovier and countless other horrors and losses. She could have this conversation with him. The first step toward rebuilding herself.
Aelin knew Rowan could hear her thundering heart as the space between them went taut. She swallowed once. "Elide and Lorcan told you... told you everything that was said on that beach."
A curt nod, wariness flooding his eyes. "Everything that Maeve said." Another nod.
She braced herself. "That I'm-we're mates."
Understanding and something like relief replaced that wariness. "Yes."
"I'm your mate," she said, needing to voice it. "And you are mine."
Rowan crossed the room, but halted a few feet from the desk on which she leaned. "What of it, Aelin?" His question was low, rough.
"Don't you..." She scrubbed at her face. "You know what she did to you, to ..." She couldn't say her name. Lyria. "Because of it."
"I do know."
"And?"
"And what do you wish me to say?"
She pushed off the desk. "I wish you to tell me how you feel about it. If…"
"If what?"
"If you wish it wasn't so."
His brows narrowed. "Why would I ever wish that?"
She shook her head, unable to answer, and stared over her shoulder toward the sea.
It seemed like he would close the distance between them, but he remained where he was.
"Aelin." His voice turned hoarse. "Aelin."
She looked at him then, at the pain in his words.
"Do you know what I wish?" He exposed his palms, one tattooed, the other unmarked. "I wish that you had told me. When you realized it. I wish you had told me then."
She swallowed against the ache in her throat. "I didn't want to hurt you."
"Why would it ever hurt me to know the truth that was already in my heart? The truth I hoped for?"
"I didn't understand it. I didn't understand how it was possible. I thought maybe ... maybe you might be able to have two mates within a lifetime, but even then, I just ….." She blew out a breath. "I didn't want you to be distressed." His eyes softened. "Do I regret that Lyria was dragged into this, that the cost of Maeve's game was her life, and the life of the child we might have had? Yes. I regret that, and I wish it had never happened." He would bear the tattoo to remember it for the rest of his days. "But none of that was your fault. I will always carry some of the burden of it, always know I chose to leave her for war and glory, and that I played right into Maeve's hands."
"Maeve wanted to ensnare you to get to me, though."
"Then it is her choice, not yours."
Aelin ran a hand over the worn wood of the desk. "In those illusions she spun for me, she showed me variations on one more than all the others." The words were strained, but she forced them out. Forced herself to look at him. "She spun me one dreamscape that felt so real I could smell the wind off the Staghorns."
"What did she show you?" A breathless question.
Aelin had to swallow before she could answer. "She showed me what might have been—if there had been no Erawan, if Elena had dealt with him properly and banished him. If there had been no Lyria, none of that pain or despair you endured. She showed me Terrasen as it would have been today, with my father as king, and my childhood happy, and..." Her lips wobbled. "When I turned twenty, you came with a delegation of Fae to Terrasen, to make amends for the rift between my mother and Maeve. And you and I took one look at each other in my father's throne room, and we knew."
She didn't fight the stinging in her eyes. "I wanted to believe that was the true world. That this was the nightmare from which I'd awaken. I wanted to believe that there was a place where you and I had never known this suffering and loss, where we'd take one look at each other and know we were mates. Maeve told me she could make it so. If I gave her the keys, she'd make it all possible." She wiped at her cheek, at the tear that escaped down it. "She spun me realities where you were dead, where you'd been killed by Erawan and only in handing over the keys to her would I be able to avenge you. But those realities made me ... I stopped being useful to her when she told me you were gone. She couldn't get me to talk, to think. Yet in the ones where you and I met, where things were as they should have been ... that was when I came the closest."
His swallow was audible. "What stopped you?"
She wiped at her face again. "The male I fell in love with was you. It was you, who knew pain as I did, and who walked with me through it, back to the light. Maeve didn't understand that. That even if she could create that perfect world, it wouldn't be you with me. And I'd never trade that, trade this. Not for anything." He extended his hand. An offer and invitation.
Aelin laid hers atop his, and his callused fingers squeezed gently. "I wanted it to be you," he breathed, closing his eyes. "For months and months, even in Wendlyn, I wondered why you weren't my mate instead. It tore me up, wondering it, but I still did." He opened his eyes, and they burned like green fire. "All this time, I wanted it to be you."
She lowered her gaze, but he hooked a thumb and forefinger around her chin and lifted her face.
"I know you are tired, Fireheart. I know that the burden on your shoulders is more than anyone should endure." He took their joined hands and laid them on his heart. "But we'll face this together. Erawan, the Lock, all of it.
"We'll face it together. And when we are done, when you Settle, we will have a thousand years together. Longer."
A small sound came out of her. "Elena said the Lock requires—"
"We'll face it together," he swore again.
"And if the cost of it truly is you, then we'll pay it together. As one soul in two bodies.
Her heart strained to the point of cleaving. "Terrasen needs a king."
"I have no intention of ruling Terrasen without you. Aedion can have the job."
She scanned his face. He meant every word He brushed the hair from her face, his other hand still clasping hers to his chest, where his heart pounded a steady, unfaltering rhythm.
"Even if I had my choice of any dream-realities, any perfect illusions, I would still choose you, too."
She felt the truth of his words echo into the unbreakable thing that bound their very souls, and tilted her face up toward his. But he made no move beyond it.
She frowned. "Why aren't you kissing me?"
"I thought you might want to be asked first."
"That never stopped you before."
"This first time, I wanted to make sure you were ... ready." After Cairn and Maeve. After months of having no choices whatsoever.
She smiled despite that truth. "I'm ready to be kissed again, Prince."
He let out a dark chuckle and muttered, "Thank the gods," before he lowered his mouth to hers.
"You're my mate." Her words were a breathless rush. "And I am yours."
The world might have been burning around them for all she cared, all he cared, too.
"Together, Aelin," he promised, and she heard the rest of the words in every place their bodies joined. Together they would face this, together they would find a way.
Together we'll find a way, their mingling breaths, the crashing sea, seemed to echo.
Together.
#Chapter 41#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah J. Maas#Aelin Galathynius#Rowan Whitethorn#Rowaelin#soulmates#mates#spoilers and notes in tags cause this chapter and also spoilers in post cause this chapter first read react with me read along#Rowaelin chapters scenes moments quotes#they want to make it possible bring that love to light#am I allowed to cry? — Again the word endured — finally the dream — the sand she still sees — he’s magic being steady — them talking time#again if Maeve could convince Rowan Lyria was his mate how bad was it when she convinced Aelin her actual mate was dead… this hurts me…#the fact Aelin stopped being useful because it destroyed her beyond belief but the dreams the dreams almost got her because its all she wan#again then both feeling sorry and the other not realizing and then consent and then comfort and love & I just wanted it2be U how could I no#I know you are tired Fireheart (ALL THE TROPES IN ONE LINE… UGH I MISSED THIS SHIP)#together. one soul in two bodies. their endgame like literally they are. I’d choose you too. even the apologies that were needed just heali#what it might have once been — together — not alone — not returning alone — the king and queen of Terrasen — I need u more — 2 whatever end#Aelin watched the boat until it disappeared trying not to stare too long at the clean unstained sand beneath her boots#always north — she didn’t care she just wanted far away — who knew — what she knew-the letters she sent-Valg-dark blood that had turned red#If it had been another dreamscape or some fragment that had blended into the very real memory of Connall's death. — always a plab&theory#all these things to deal with later-she’d rebuild all she had been-her match helper mirror-matched his piercing stare with her own-wait/res#A far cry from a queen's chamber or any she might have purchased as Adarlan's assassin. — how far we’ve come-she had ENDURED she can do it#I'm your mate she said needing to voice it. And you are mine. — Lyria. — I do know. and?&what do you wish me to say?-this was perfect#If what? If you wish it wasn't so. His brows narrowed. Why would I ever wish that? — Aelin. she looked at him at the pain in his words#the way it's changed since Mistward... and grown... even in names like Whitethorn Galathynius together — the brain thoughts are back —#The kiss was gentle-light. Letting her decide how to guide it. So she did. — he’d do it all night if that was what’s he wished#Together we'll find a way their mingling breaths the crashing sea seemed to echo. Together. — mountains and oceans#Might’ve been before-thought snapped-the bond- u r my mate&I am urs-the world might have been burning for all she cared all he cared too#Together they would face this together they would find a way. — claiming him as he claimed her — a scar a marker a tattoo
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