#i slept all day ): and now im sad
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Hi who plays Roblox and wants to play that horse game with me where u catch a lot of different horses ? I have a problem where I have to be in voice chat while playing games.
#i slept all day ): and now im sad#about to shower and make chicky sammies thooooo#i really like the game its relaxing and calm and not competitive at all#fatty talks
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i would rather live with ana for the rest of my life than binge like this ever again
#rending.txt#i dont know how to stop binging i was doing so well yesterday and then for no reason it fell apart#i just want to stop#i have so much to do today but i just dont want to do anything im so depressed#im just going to lay in bed and eat all day and think up ways to die#i already know my chosen method i just cant be bothered right now so maybe later#i just want to keep sleeping#i called in sick to work today because i was so so tired and i slept i think nearly 12 hours which isnt bad#i wanna go on a walk and work out and stuff but i just. cant right now. i need to work on my job presentation but i just cant#i just want to keep eating and go back to sleep and then wake up and end it#but i just need to make it to therapy tomorrow and maybe itll get better? who knows#i dont even have the energy to walk up to tesco to get blades or more food so im laying im bed eating dry granola like a pathetic pig#i dont wanna talk to anyone but my boyfriend but hes asleep and i dont want to vent to him anymore because it makes me feel guilty#and it doesnt help to vent to him anymore so i just make him sad for no reason and i dont know how to vent to anyone else#i havent changed my bedsheets in weeks and theres so much trash on my floor you can barely walk in my room and i havent showered in a week#i just dont have the heart to cry anymore i just want it to stop#i did everything i was supposed to so i could prevent binges and it didnt work at all so i think im beyond saving lol
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sometimes my boobs hurt so much i think they're gonna bleed surely this is normal right
#i think im pmsing.. but im not sure#like the dates aligned but also they've been super irregular hence the whole pcod etc#like im already wearing a size 38 bra because of all this fucking weight gain#and even that feels tight?? like the next size available was free size😭😭#but like it feels normal good even everyday just from the past two days it's been hurting like hell#and fucking worst festivsl of the year so i can't even stay in my room bra off all day#but oh god why do they pain so much it's never been like this before ive been having periods since i was 11 and im 21 now#maybe another pcod uhh idk side effect? symptom? whatever it's called#and i definitely have that pms wali feeling#i mean i haven't broken down yet but#you know that feeling when you WANT something but you don't know what and you try everything but nothing works#like i ate pasta i ate ice cream i studied and accomplished my targets i slept a lot i watched comfort show#i even washed my hair and danced to so many songs today morning while booping#but then it keeps crashing#and it's not enough#don't ask me what's it because even i do not know#i think i want. a hug. i guess#but from my bestfriend#because me and my sister keep fighting and i don't think she's really understanding me rn#but i think she's (bsf) avoiding talking to me because she's getting back together with her shitty boyfriend#i want to call and whine and say fuck that i don't care just talk to me but#i can't#the thought of asking for help needing people is. wow it's genuinely making me puke#i hate hate HATE being pathetic and needy#sometimes i wish#i mean obviously i would prefer it if i was perfectly healthy qnd normal and fine#but sometimes i wish someone just looked at me and said#oh honey how are you carrying so much sadness inside you and hiding it so well?? how are you even functioning???? how are you not#on the floor wailing and crying and unable to get up?#like you need [insert idk pills or whatever the cure is] BADLY
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i just napped for like 4 hrs. uh. hello.
#logbook#did my half day ate lunch and then was like. i'll go rest at rents while they're out and about.#ended up napping. knew it was happening once i couldnt keep my eyes open but i swear i set an alarm. now its after 7.#i bet exes arent home. havent heard anything. and if i go home i'll have to watch the dog til they come back.#'just leave him crated' he'll whine and cry bc ofc he knows i'll be home. and i dont have space for him in the room rn.#but he also deserves to be out and spend time. and i love spending time with him.#idk that whole mentality of 'not your animal' pisses me off bc when you live with someone elses pet they sort of DO become your pet.#like sorry but you share the space. i dont pay vet bills or buy food but i do actually feed fhem. and walk him#sometimes. and i spend time with all 4. i take leia outside to smell the air. and i nap with them#the cats and the dog snuggle me and greet me at the door. i think they know i'm leaving bc theyve been sooo affectionate.#and also half of these problems wouldnt exist with them if it wasnt negative towards me or i still slept in the bed lol#im going to miss them so much it hurts. . .and i know its going to affect them bc it did with the puppies and it has with emira.#didnt mean for this to become a sad log yet here we are. sigh.#so much for my half day. i was going to game and plan out house stuff but. oh well.#my body probably needs the rest anyways.
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#so for the last like. as long as i can remember. ive had a shit sleep schedule#mostly like sleep all day and stay up all night kinda shit#but i got sick/burnt out recently and slept for almost two days straight#and somehow it reset my sleep schedule to something normal#like i went to bed at 10pm and woke up at 5am for the last few days#and i havent had to nap#and the not needing to nap is really fucking with me#like im used to waking up. feeding my dog. and then napping until i go to work#i should be napping rn. but im not tired#i dont have to get ready for work for another four hours and ive already been awake for three hours#i went to the coffee shop and to walgreens. im in real clothes instead of pajamas. i did a load of laundry#im laying in bed (its so hot i might be dying) and i just. dont know what to do with my time#im probably gonna do some cleaning and packing because im moving in two months#idk im just feeling some strange type of way because for the last few days ive been. alive#instead of sleeping my life away#its so strange. i got sick. slept for a few days. and now my biggest problem is just fixed? and i can have a life now?#its 70 degrees today and the world is my oyster. what should i do?#i have a list of chores im gonna do. i might walk to the coinstar machine so ill have money#yeah i want to do that cuz im in the negatives in my bank account but i want to get a cool drink before work today#my dad texted me this morning 'noticed your bank account is overdrawn for the second time this week. whats going on kid?'#which is such a sad text to get because i know im broke. thanks dad. lets pls ignore my financial hardships#if you want to make my dad less sad hmu for my venmo /hj#anyways ill probs do that today. get some cash so i can get a frozen lemonade from wawa or something#yknow that post thats like 'seasonal depression seems fake until its 50 degrees in march and it feels like you took a party drug'#i think thats partially whats happening here. its 70 degrees and sunny and my systems dont know what to do with that#i hope youre all having a great day that you dont sleep through. i love you!!
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i never remember to explain shit anymore i just vaguepost and expect people to catch up but i finally have good news, we've made a lot of progress with my parents' estate (they both ran their own businesses and you know those images of nightmare cable management? well imagine that with bank accounts) and i actually have money now - im taking a trip to Aotearoa NZ with my mate Jules next week (dark sky reserve! lotr filming locations! snow! FOOD!) and then in august i will be moving to nyc to pursue a 2 year masters degree in library science with a focus on rare materials archival studies!! shits happening in my life!! im not just sitting in my house doing nothing all day!! and like i said i have money!! if you're taking commissions lmk bc while im focused on my getaway for the next few weeks i wanna support my friends and their art and when i get back i wanna throw u cash to draw my ocs!!
#fred says a thing#personal#i havent slept (its 8am) but not for sad reasons! i was reading a good book and then i just had a lot of thoughts!#invariably i will be sad again - probably soon! i will definitely see stuff on my trip that i will want to show my parents and have to#experience the strange nature of grief-for-what-never-was several times over during otherwise great moments#- but i will also be happy in the future too!#my therapist says i definitely have ptsd! im learning more about emotional flashbacks and how to manage them!#im a human being and i will continue to be one for the rest of my life!#i hope thats a long time!#but even if that isnt something my genetics allows i was happy now! and people were happy to have me in the world!#im realising that sounds rather alarming but i just have a lot of fears about my genetics considering. you know. the cancer orphaning.#im trying to manage both my health fears and my health itself in a reasonable way! i made a chicken tomato pasta sauce last night#just from ingredients i had lying around and it was pretty good!#i have a ripe tomato i picked from the garden yesterday that today i will fry up with bacon and put on some toast i think#there are so many books i want to read#there are so many books i want to write#in a few days i will be experiencing snow (a rarity for me) and i will probably be handling the cold very poorly and i will feel excited#and uncomfortable at the same time#and for much of my life i will experience a lot of contradictory things at the same tiem#and i will experience times of great boredom and inaction! we all have to stand in queues and wait for buses and go to the dentist#and wonder what might have been#but i will experience them. i will.
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I hate how this is all my fault because I am the stupid fool who broke no contact and now look at me! Look at me having to prepare myself for being hurt for god knows how long!
#i hate myself for breaking no contact. im weak and stupid and laughable#i didnt even have a good reason. she called my father when i was outside with him and she was panicked because our dog was dying#so went there with him and i consoled her because she was crying and sad and my father doesnt know how to comfort people#it was a stupid thing to do. it was a childish thing to do. it wasnt even genuine of me.#but she was sad and i dont want people to be sad. i dont want her to be sad no matter how much i hate her.#i knew that my father wouldnt be able to think straight so i suppressed all my emotions to be the calm one and to organise things#and to be the one to comfort my parents. im their child and that is my duty and my role. my purpose in life whether i like it or not.#well#what a stupid mistake. i should have been someone. instead i chose to be no one. i chose to be a tool and now look at me#the tool is complaining that it doesnt have human rights.#i havent slept in several days. i cant. the thought of going there for longer than a day is keeping me awake#every time i lie down i feel my muscles vibrate. my head hurts constantly because i cant stop the thoughts#theyre racing and racing and telling me to get up and run. telling me that were in danger.#theyre constantly telling me to just bolt. to never stop until we are completely alone with nobody to hurt us.#once people are around you can only stand there and take it. you can only say 'I'm sorry. It's my fault. I'm sorry. I'll do better.'#i feel in danger all the time. i cant stop the memories i didnt know i could remember. they just keep coming back.#i wish i didnt know that they wont be just memories if i go. i have to go. it is my duty to visit my family for the holidays.#what a funny thing to say considering the right way to pronounce it would be#'it is my duty to be dehumanised; walk on eggshells; and get insulted and physically hurt'#i cant even tell if im more scared of the physical side of things or the dehumanisation or a secret third thing#the closer it gets the more hopeless i feel. i cant enter that house again. i cant see her face again.#her voice her words her insults the pain the way i would do anything for her to find me adequate#and by god i dont even know why because i hate everything she stands for.
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what if i explode ,
#man#i was sad about my roommate leaving for belgium so i slept some more and now its 6pm#and i need to#shower and clean my cats blanket for her vet appointment tomorrow#and it’s at 9am but bc i slept all day today im not gonna sleep well or at all tn#hhhhHhhHHHHh
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manic apathy > apocalyptic sadness
#boink#look#i slept for sixteen hours last night#spent all day crying#could not bring myself to get out of bed until mid afternoon#and felt physically numb and unable to move#now im listening to will wood and writing angrily about the catholic church#i still feel like shit#but every like fifteen minutes the current disconnected jitteriness is interrupted#by a deep fear and sadness about what ive done to myself and what i now have to look forward to#and you know what#im kicking that shit as fast and as far as i can#DISCLAIMER THIS POST IS NOT THAT SERIOUS OK JUST FUCKING#ME ONLY RN THIS IS ABOUT ME BEING A USELESS PIECE OF SHIT AND FUCKING MYSELF OVER IN MY OWN LIFE OK#PLS
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[invisible to xigbar]
See this is how I know I don't have will issues
#waited kind of like a sad puppy like all day long for him to awaken (felt lonely today)#and when he awoke (!!!!) i was told to go away :(#and im just a little bit sad and disappointed#instead of inconsolable sobbing on the floor tearing my hair out gasping for breath screaming throwing up#which is how you know i dont have will issues because I WOULD be screaming crying throwing up sobbing on the floor#this would have KILLED me if i had will issues#as it is im feeling pretty frowny face right now gamers.#i dont know why I'm so weird today. i wouldn't normally sad puppy all day long#i woulnt normally 'what do you usually do when im gone' 'wait for you to get back'#as it is im. sad. i made dinner. and also breakfast but he slept through that. and im sad.#gods why am i so weird today???????????
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THE SUNSHINE AFTER THE STORM ❨𝖲𝖤𝖵𝖤𝖭❩
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𝒊𝗡𝗦𝗧𝗘𝗔𝗗 .. ❛ 𝗁𝗈𝗅𝖽𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖺𝖿𝗍𝖾𝗋 𝖺𝗇 𝖺𝗋𝗀𝗎𝗆𝖾𝗇𝗍
𝑜𝑓 · 𝖲𝖧𝖮𝖶𝓉𝖨𝖬𝖤 ⦂ bf! ot7 x gf! reader���─ && slight angst and fluff + argument and mention of not eating ❔ 𝖶𝖨𝖲𝖯 & 𝖪𝖨𝖲𝖲𝖤𝖲
◟( ˃̶͈◡ ˂̶͈ )◞ ╱ 𝑠𝑎𝑣 𝑠𝑎𝑦𝑠 : sav comeback did so well, had to spoil my dolls even more 💌 enjoy !
𝖫𝖤𝖤 𝖧𝖤𝖤𝖲𝖤𝖴𝖭𝖦
heeseung walked in late again. ever since he picked up a new position at his office, he’s been coming home late nonstop. you knew he’d be more busy, but coming home at midnight for weeks straight, you grew a little fed up. tonight, you couldn’t hold back your frustration.
“you’re late again..” you said, your arms crossed along your chest. “how many times is this going to keep happening?”
“i’m trying alright? it’s just really busy.” heeseung sighed, rubbing his temples gently.
“but i’m here waiting for you! every night. i stay up extra late to spend time with you, but i cant, because you’re tired and you want to sleep.” you shot back, your hands trembling.
“i didn’t mean for it to be like this..” heeseung said quietly, stepping closer to wrap his arms around you. “im sorry princess, ill try to come home early so we can be together.”
you look up at him, frustration and sadness still lingering. “i just need you to be here..”
“and i will be.. okay?” heeseung kisses your forehead, his arms never latched off you. ( 𝖱𝖤𝖠𝖣 𝖬𝖮𝖱𝖤 𝖴𝖭𝖣𝖤𝖱 𝖳𝖧𝖤 𝖢𝖴𝖳 )
𝖯𝖠𝖱𝖪 𝖩𝖮𝖭𝖦𝖲𝖤𝖮𝖭𝖦
you and jay were enjoying a quiet evening at home, you sat on his lap as the two of you got caught up in eachother’s affection. what originally was a night of laughter and affection quickly disappeared when jay would constantly check his phone.
“jay?” you asked politely, frustration lingering on your voice. “can you put your phone down for a second? we’re supposed to be spending time together.”
jay looks up at you, his brows furrowed. “im just checking something real quick. why are you making a big deal out of it?” his tone came out rather harsh than expected.
“im not making a big deal, i just want your attention for five minutes!” you snapped. “you’ve been looking at your phone from time to time all night.”
“im not ignoring you, honey.” jay watched as you got off his lap, sitting a little farther away now to collect yourself. “well it feels like it.” you muttered to yourself, unaware that jay heard.
jay pulls you back on his lap, holding your chin so your gaze is on him. “i didn’t know you were feeling that way. i’m sorry honey, i’ll put it down.”
𝖲𝖨𝖬 𝖩𝖠𝖤𝖸𝖴𝖭
jake had been playing video games all day with heeseung and jungwon. you didn’t mind, considering he worked hard all week and barely got some time for his favorite things. it was one thing for him to barely speak to you throughout the day, but it was another when you felt like he was ignoring your presence.
“jake..” you called out from the doorway, coming to sit on the shared bed. “can you stop playing for a five minutes and talk to me.”
jake glanced over, however his attention quickly went back to the screen. “just one more round okay mamas?”
“seriously?” you couldnt hide your emotions, especially your frustration. “you’ve been playing for hours, you act like i don’t exist.”
jake paused his game, his attention quickly went to you. “im sorry okay? i just wanted a few hours on the game. i didn’t mean to ignore your presence.”
jake got up from his gaming chair and climbed onto the bed. he pulled you close to him, snuggling you tightly. “im sorry mamas.. do you forgive me? if not, i’ll make it better.”
𝖯𝖠𝖱𝖪 𝖲𝖴𝖭𝖦𝖧𝖮𝖮𝖭
recently, you felt as if your relationship with sunghoon was failing. some nights, you barely slept in the same bed. other times, you’d only have one worded answers to each other’s questions. sometimes when this happens, it causes you to barely eat. sunghoon silently picked up on it, he started to see how this was affecting you.
“you’re barely eating..” sunghoon speaks softly, his eyes soft but serious.
you avoid his gaze, silently surpised he picked up on your behavior. “im fine.”
“no you’re not.” sunghoon looked closer at you, his voice laced with concern. “we haven’t been doing well recently and now you’re not even taking care of yourself.”
you sighed, frustrated. “i cant eat when i’m upset, you know that..” you held your head, rushes of emotions hitting you at once. sunghoon could tell you’ve officially reached your breaking point.
sunghoon moved closer to you, his tone gentle. “i hate seeing you like this. we’ll fix things, but first you need to eat. you need to take care of yourself, and i’ll be here to help you,” sunghoon wrapped his arms around you tightly, as if he was afraid to loose you again.
𝖸𝖠𝖭𝖦 𝖩𝖴𝖭𝖦𝖶𝖮𝖭
jungwon has been going through a lot lately. either something hapoened with some friends, or his family, you couldnt point your finger on it. all you knew was your relationship was slowly declining because of it. jungwon felt more closed off, he wasn’t talking to you like he normally would.
“why are you so closed off?” you asked, your voice shaking. “you used to talk to me about everything.”
jungwon sighed, looking at you. “it’s not that i don’t want to talk .. i just don’t want to drag you into my problems.”
“well i’m here for you!” you snapped, your frustration boiling over. “you can’t just shut me out when you’re going through something.
“i don’t wanna burden you.” jungwon ran a hand through his hair, trying to process his thoughts.
“you’re not burdening me, jungwon. i want to be there for you.” you quickly responded, pulling him into your arms as you saw tears falling from his glass eyes. “im sorry.. for pushing you away. i really need you.” you heard his sobs, you tried to comfort him by rubbing his back.
𝖪𝖨𝖬 𝖲𝖴𝖭𝖮𝖮
sunoo wasn’t one to cancel plans with you, infact he always looked forward to the days he’d be able to see you. ever since you and sunoo began getting more busy at work as the days went out, it became difficult to see each other. even on days you both were exhausted, you didn’t want to cancel.
“you’ve been cancelling plans alot recently..” you sighed with frustration. “i feel i’m the last thing on your mind these days.”
sunoo looks at you, guiltier than ever. “i didn’t mean to make you feel like that.. work has just been draining me.”
“that’s all you’ll ever say.” you replied, your voice tightening. “i get that, but it’s not an excuse as to how you’ve been treating me lately.”
he sighs. “you’re right.. i’ve been distracted and im sorry.” sunoo runs his hands through his hair in frustration, yet understanding where you’re coming from.
sunoo pulls you into his arms, his tight embrace made you feel better. “i promise to treat you better, even when exhaustion creeps up on me.” you pull him flush closer to you, feeling bad you let your emotions out on him.
𝖭𝖨𝖲𝖧𝖨𝖬𝖴𝖱𝖠 𝖱𝖨𝖪𝖨
you didn’t know riki would have his friends over at his house today. you sat closely to riki, but no matter how close you say, he continued to ignore you. riki was too caught up in playing games with his friends, he forgot his own girlfriend was right beside him. you felt ignored, and most importantly you felt forgotten about. his friends left, which left you with some alone time.
“why did you do that?” you asked, standing up as if you’re ready to leave. “ignore me when your friends are here?”
“what do you talking about?” riki asks, putting the extra controllers away in a drawer.
“when you’re with them, you pretend im invisible” your eyes grew teary, you tried to look away to fix yourself before he saw you like this.
“oh baby.. i never meant to make you feel like that.” riki pulled you into his arms, you tried to push away wanting some space to yourself.
however, riki wasn’t taking that for an answer. he didn’t like seeing you push away when you’re upset, especially at him. “no baby.. no pushing away. i’m sorry for tonight and i’ll make it up to you.” riki kisses your lips gently, his thumb soothed your cheek.
# ◜ᯅ◝ . . 𝗜 𝗞𝗜𝗦𝗦𝗘𝗨 . ❀ 𝗖𝗢𝗠#enhypen#enhypen ot7#enhypen one shot#enhypen x fem reader#enhypen x female reader#enhypen x y/n#enhypen x you#enhypen x reader#yang jungwon#yang jungwon x you#yang jungwon x reader#lee heeseung#lee heeseung x you#lee heeseung x reader#park jongseong#park jongseong x you#park jongseong x reader#sim jaeyun#sim jaeyun x you#sim jaeyun x reader#park sunghoon#park sunghoon x you#park sunghoon x reader#kim sunoo#kim sunoo x you#sim sunoo x reader#nishimura riki#nishimura riki x you#nishimura riki x reader
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i am so fine—
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#did i just read an almost 3000 page epub in like a week?? 😭😭😭#i feel sad but also happy#can't believe the books that helped me escape when i was 15 years old are STILL helping me escape when im 21#i feel like im hugging my 15 year old self the girl who went to the library to get the book#and finished one in a day from afternoon to night#and the girl who used to stay up all night reading when her siblings slept and then used to silently cry over character deaths#and then next day would tell her friends all about it#like.#hey kid. it's gonna go all downhill from there and i am definitely not who you thought i would be#maybe you wouldn't understand but i hope you will be happy that im trying#ugh god i miss my childhood home my room so much i can see it now even tho it's been 6 years#the bed the ceiling with faded glow in the dark stars the mirror placed too low that we outgrew so we couldn't even see our face in it#well.#mann trust cassie clare books to make me feel all emo and nostalgic on a random monday afternoon
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O8 stuck with you — im on top (of you) !
scaramouche x gender neutral reader
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The day you had been dreading was finally upon you.
“Stop looking so sad,” Yoimiya sighs as she looks over to where you were slumped on the floor of the recording studio you guys were in.
“My beautiful voice…mixed in with his,” you shuddered at the mere thought of his vocals sullying the album.
“Quit being so dramatic,” Lumine chastised, reaching over to get you off the floor.
You look over to where Scara was similarly slumped on the floor, staring into the wall as his group members conversed around him. Looks like he wasn’t too into the idea of recording with you either.
“You guys ready?” Albedo asks, walking in carrying a stack of papers as he walks past you guys to the soundbooth. The young blonde had been one of the company’s producers since you’d debuted. He reminded you a mix between Kazuha and Xiao, quiet but managed to get his artistic vision across.
“You two,” Albedo gestures to you and Scara, “I was instructed to get you both done quickly before working on the group song.”
“Jean really slotted all this time and took into consideration how much Scaramouche and Yn bicker,” Fischl muses.
“What are we singing?” Scaramouche asks, flipping through the page of lyrics Albedo handed you both.
“A love song,” Albedo answers, hooking a pair of headphones onto his head, “Let’s just try it out and see what needs to be added, go on then.”
He gently pushes you into the recording booth as you both tug on your own pair of headphones.
You eye the lyrics as you tug the microphone closer to you, wincing at the implications behind the words.
The first few attempts were disastrous to say the least. Scaramouche kept criticizing your timing and you kept pointing out how he was overpowering the track. Albedo’s patience, which was unbelievably high if he worked with the likes of you, was wearing thin as you both argued over every line.
After a take that finally sounded decent Albedo gestures for you two to come out of the booth.
“Are we finally done?” Scara asks.
“That sounded pretty good to me,” Childe pipes up.
“If you guys had collaborated earlier we would be drowning in so much money right now,” Venti sighs dejectedly.
“Almost,” Albedo answers, fingers flying over his keyboard, "I just need you both to moan,” Albedo deadpanned.
“What?” Scara slowly says, like he’s on the verge of strangling Albedo by the neck.
“Before you say anything just listen to this clip.”
You couldn’t even process anything before Albedo was hitting play and your gentle voice mixed with Scara’s came out of the speakers, followed by some harmonies by Aether and then Xiao that he’d added in later. It all sounded good as they all harmonized together, but even you could feel that something was missing.
“So, you need us to do what ?”
“Moan, so I can use it as backup vocals,” Albedo hummed, twirling a pen with his fingers, seeming nonchalant about what he was asking of them.
“Fuck no,” Scara says, jutting a finger at you, “Why do I have to moan on the same song as them.”
“I don’t want to either,” you huff as your members erupt into a fit of laughter behind you. The traitors.
“It’s just my suggestion,” Albedo says, putting his hands up, “Just try it out.”
“I don’t get paid enough for this, how am I supposed to moan with Yn next to me?”
“I get dried up just looking at you.”
“The world gets dry from looking at you.”
“You should have no trouble faking a moan, since it’s probably what everyone you’ve ever slept with has done.”
Albedo snaps his fingers in front of you both.
“I don’t care how you do it, just harmonize a moan or two for me,” Albedo says, pushing you both back into the booth, “I would like to go home early for once.”
“We won’t be able to see you,” Albedo adds, “So feel free to do whatever helps you get out the best moans.”
“Gross,” Scara called out as Albedo shut the door behind him.
“I’m going to kill myself,” you mumble as you tug the microphone towards you once again.
Scara glares at you as you both stand in the booth, the microphone between you two a symbol of your forced cooperation. You can feel the tension radiating off him, and it's not helping your own nerves. You take a deep breath, trying to steady yourself.
"Let's just get this over with," you mutter, avoiding Scara's eyes.
"Fine," he snaps, crossing his arms. "But don't think for a second that I'm happy about this."
You roll your eyes. "Yeah, well, neither am I."
There's a long, uncomfortable silence as you both stare at the microphone. Outside the booth, Albedo is watching, his expression expectant. You glance at Scara, trying to gauge his mood. He's scowling, but there's a flicker of something else in his eyes—something like hesitation.
"Look," you say, trying to sound reasonable in an attempt to get this over with. "Let's just do one take and see how it goes. If it sounds terrible, we can convince Albedo to scrap the idea."
Scara raises an eyebrow, but after a moment, he nods. "Fine. One take."
You both lean towards the microphone, your faces inches apart. You can feel Scara's breath on your skin, and it sends a shiver down your spine. You close your eyes, trying to block out the awkwardness, and focus on the task at hand.
Taking a deep breath, you let out a soft, hesitant moan. It feels strange and embarrassing, but you push through, hoping it will be over soon. Beside you, Scara does the same, his moan blending with yours.
Scaramouche’s moans would usually sound like a sexually-transmitted disease: gross and something that you’d never touch with a fifteen-foot pole, but for a moment, it created an unexpected harmony.
Albedo's voice crackles through the intercom. "That was... actually not bad. Let's try it one more time, but with a bit more feeling. Scara, go a bit lower.”
You both go through the motions again, and you try to ignore how Scara’s moans sound so resonant through your headphones and the heat on your cheeks from making such an intimate sound beside him.
Albedo’s voice comes through the intercom again. “Perfect. That’s exactly what we needed.”
You sigh with relief, tugging off the headphones as fast as you could and slipping out the booth.
As you and Scara step out of the booth, you're immediately met with the smirking faces of the other members. They're lounging on the studio couch, looking far too amused for your liking.
Childe is the first to speak, a stupid grin plastered across his face. "Well, well, look at you two. Didn't know you two were that freaky."
Lumine snickers, giving you both a mock round of applause. "That was hot. It felt like I was interrupting.”
“I hope you all die,” Scara says from beside you before turning to Albedo, “And you’re a freak for suggesting that.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Albedo hums, already tuning them out as he has his headphones back on.
"Alright, alright," you say, trying to change the subject. "Can we please focus on something else now?"
Venti stands up, stretching. "Fine, fine. But you know we’re never going to let you live this down, right?"
“I’m personally going to buy several copies of this album,” Yoimiya giggles.
“I hope Albedo makes you guys do something embarrassing,” you huff.
"No wonder you're still a virgin if you sound like that when moaning,” Scaramouche says, smirking as he slips past you to sit on the couch.
“Shut up,” you grumble.
“Can’t even defend yourself,” Scara taunts.
“Lot of talk for someone who also hasn’t gotten laid in a while,” Aether whistles.
“Whose side are you on, Aether?!”
//
Later that day
“Let’s just get this over with,” you sigh as you follow your members towards the studio.
“I’m excited,” Venti hums, skipping ahead of you.
“I’m surprised at how quickly they pulled this together,” Xiao comments, opening the door for you, “It’s like they’ve been waiting for you two to fuck up.”
“Which you have, several times,” Lumine unhelpfully pipes up from behind you.
“I’m so sick of you guys,” you grumble, accepting your fate.
As you walked into the studio, you could only stare in disbelief at the high ceiling, the windows that took the length of the walls letting in the evening light, poppy color mottled across the sky as the sun quietly set behind you. Wealth practically drips from the room as you look around. You never even used this space for your album photoshoots, since you guys never needed such a big space for just you six.
In one of the corners you spotted a large camera standing tall in front of a white backdrop, the ground adorned with roses and petals. The white-pink petals fluttered in the wind as the fans in the corner caused them to float throughout the studio. The reds and pinks jump out against the white. It was sickeningly romantic. You wanted to throw up at the implication.
You spotted Jean talking to Scaramouche, who looked like she was giving the other a pep talk before she spotted you and waved you over.
“Yn! We were just discussing the photoshoot, Lisa will instruct you two after she’s done talking to the crew. I need to go chat with them, you two stay here and get ready,” Jean rushed out, calling over some stylists to fix you guys up, already out of breath as she dashed over to Lisa.
“You’re late,” Scara says as his greeting as a group of women start fussing over your guys’ hair and outfits.
“You’re early, tryhard.”
“Not your best comeback,” Yoimiya whistles from a few feet away.
“Alright you guys,” Lisa calls out, walking over to where your groups were gathered getting touched up, “We’re going to get the group shots over with, then some solo ones, and we’ll separate to do some pairing shots.”
//
They all stood together awkwardly as they waited for the staff to finish setting up the cameras, once they finally did they led the group and positioned them. For group pictures they had all the girls stand to one side and the guys on the other, so you guys were in a crescent moon shape. Right after you all separate, the girls in another set and the males in a different one.
The cameraman moved and adjusted everyone for what felt like a hundred dozen times before he finally clapped and positioned you guys to take the picture. He had you hold a pose where you were sitting on a bench and leaning on your side for what felt like forever, you would surely gain some sort of back pain from this.
The most awkward part was the solo photoshoots. Even after becoming an idol you still felt awfully awkward when doing them, but when it was just your members you could manage. But being in front of Scara made you feel extra self conscious.
People like Aether and Childe had a blast, and all the girls seemed to be enjoying it. But you felt quite embarrassed as you were told to pose seductively and show more skin. You weren't alone in this predicament, since Xiao and Kazuha seemed to be having a tough time as well when they were forced to manspread on some seats. Scaramouche became complacent and let the cameraman adjust him accordingly, he even went along with the whorish poses Lisa was having too much fun making them all do.
“Doesn’t Scara look good manspreading half naked like that?” Venti whispers in your ear.
You jump, startled as you stare back at him in disdain.
“No,” you scoff, “Stop ogling him.”
You’re still still stuck on the fact that Scaramouche is shirtless and actually has a decent build. Yes, it's objectively hot—something that you’d admit under the pain of getting an arm hacked off—but it's also quite insane.
With the group photoshoot finished, they all bid farewell as they separated off into their own corners to do their paired shots.
“Alright, Scara and Yn you guys are going to be in Set B,” Jean stated, gently pushing the two of them in that direction. You look and spot the dreaded set where it looked like cupid himself threw up.
You both trailed behind the cameramen over to it, trying your best to not step and wilt any of the flowers artistically placed on the ground.
“Okay, I’m in charge of you guys!” Lisa grinned as you guys approached her, “I’m going to have so much fun with you two.”
“Not too much fun,” Scaramouche grumbles as you both go to stand before the camera.
“Scara, don’t be a prude and unbutton your shirt. Yn, I need you to lay down,” Lisa instructs, walking over and pushing you down until you’re laying down on the petals. You were still reluctant at the fact you would have to do a paired photoshoot with Scara, so your reaction time was still quite slow. Lisa eventually just adjusted your body as needed and bent down next to you, spreading out your hair and laid some petals on it, standing up to admire her work.
“Scaramouche, you’re gonna hover over them and hold that position for a while, and when I say next you lean in as if you’re going to kiss them. Is that alright?” Lisa asked, already heading back to the camera and having the cameramen adjust it lower to capture them in the frame.
“If I say no, does that do anything?” Scara asks.
“No! Now get to it!”
Scara mutters a curse under his breath as he begins to unbutton his button up. You catch a glimpse of his bare skin before he��s kneeling down to knees and crawling over you, placing both palms on either side of your head and leaning forward. Since he couldn’t just hold a plank over you forever, Scara placed one knee in between your legs and another one beside your left leg for stability.
Your breath was hitched in your throat at the proximity, you could see every detail of Scara’s stupid face and makeup from underneath him. You couldn’t help but let your mind wander to how intimate you both were being right now, you’d never been underneath someone like this before. Unless you were being pinned down by Lumine during a fistfight of some sort when you accidentally ate her food.
“Yn! Put your arms around his neck!”
You flinched at Lisa’s yell but did as you were told and wrapped your arms around Scara’s neck, bringing him closer as you did so. There wasn't anywhere to look but at Scara’s eyes, which felt awkward and weird in itself, so you opted for your eyes to wander. But they landed on his lips instead, which wasn’t any better.
Scara’s dark eyes bore into yours, his gaze not wavering as you looked everywhere but at him. That was before you realized this was a literal photoshoot and adjusted your eyes back to him.
“Both of you, stop glaring!”
Scaramouche sighed above you, before forcing himself to soften his gaze towards you. It felt odd to be looked at like an equal by him.
You study Scaramouche closely, now that you’re forced to. He has these lips that are plush pink and they meet just barely like the slightest touch would coax them open. His eyelashes are long and there’s a beauty mark just shy of his eye coated over with concealer. His ears are small and there’s an assortment of earrings hanging off of them, ones he never wears during practice. He’s stupidly pretty. It makes you want to punch him.
“Alright, hold for ten then move to the next position.”
Ten seconds? That felt like hours due to the way Scara was looking down at you, a fabricated gentle gaze in his eyes as he eyed you up and down.
“Next!”
“The faster we comply the faster I can get out of this stupid position with you,” Scara huffs, his voice barely above a whisper before he leans forwards and hovers his lips right above your jaw. Your body instinctively moves its hands to run through his hair, as if you both were actually going to kiss. God forbid.
“Cut!”
The lights dimmed and Scara immediately pushed himself off of you. You slowly sat up, dizzy from the stress of being that close to someone you disliked.
“I’m the one who had to hover over you and you’re tired? Pathetic,” Scara huffs, reaching down to roughly tug your arm so you’re standing and almost immediately letting go of you after.
“Don’t you think this is a little too much?” Scara asks, walking ahead of you towards where Lisa was looking through the photos
“We made everyone do paired shoots, see!” Lisa says, turning the screen to show you.
You and Scara scroll through to see all your members in pairs like you both, but none of them are quite like yours.
“So Venti and Aether got to pose in a car and we had to fake a kiss?” Scara scoffs, “Where’s the delete button–?"
Lisa yanks the camera from him before he has the chance and shoos them off.
“I’ve got enough from you guys, go get your makeup undone.”
“This is so dumb,” you grumble as you follow behind Scara. All of this work because you both couldn’t keep your mouth shut during an awards show and now you had to fake being in love with the idiot.
You pray to Buddha, God, and whatever other deity out there that was most certainly laughing at you, that you can manage to get along with Scaramouche before anyone does notice it’s all fake.
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stuck with you!
masterlist — prev | next
when i say moans i mean like the song Mmmh by KAI like do u see the vision
also the album cover can be you or one of the other members depending on what ur comf with 😇
pls ignore how is it fake is listed twice 😔 also the lyrics are from taylor i can see you
yk the drill comment on the masterlist if i can use ur user and make u a fan
synopsis — after the disaster that was the live award show, where you and scaramouche got into an argument on stage after both of your groups got a tie for top artists, your guys' PR teams have been in shambles trying to scrape up your mess. that's when the idea to send you both off with some other idols to a remote location for a survival dating show to mend your public image comes up. before you know it your bags are packed and you’re on a plane to a remote island. the only obligation is you need to end up with scaramouche at the end of the show, whether you end up liking him or not doesn’t matter to your managers as long as the show’s ratings stay high. whatever you do in between to get there is up to you!
notes sorry guys for the long wait i was lowk goin thru it but im back 🗣️
taglist closed — @na1lea @cindywasneverhere @lunavixia @aestherin @mlaakai @camvrin @retiredmommylover @iheartpieck @jangyung @cartierfiles @loveariel @silly-ez @mochipls @pomeiu @chuuismylife @flowerypesky @creammpuff @justanothertiredreader @boxdisappeared @kissmiere @kissingkzuha @webbywill @kazusboyfriend @s3xpistolss @pjsucks @bunns-wonderland @lordbugs @localgirlywithnolife @kosumos @danfelions @featuredtofu @pinxeajin @herebyaccident0 @haeunoo @scaradooche @pglt19 @chemiru @childesbabygirl @simonisferal @shutingstar @vxcmx @domimiki @ttalgi @esuz @tokkishouse @kitsuvil @scarasmood @ihearttori @nomurahayami @starringyau @androxphobic @kazuhasbabe
#scaramouche x reader smau#scaramouche x yn#scaramouche x gender neutral reader#scaramouche x male reader#scaramouche x y/n#scaramouche x reader#scaramouche smau#scaramouche x you#stuck with you smau
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Hii mami
how you doing today ? I have an idea
can you make one where r is Billie’s teacher and has a husband (shes secretly a lesbian)but Billie doesn’t gaf and wants her but r keeps saying no so one day Billie pulls up at r house pretending having tutoring lessons with her and ends up fucking r at her house while her husband is here (they don’t get caught btw)
im in no rush honey
take ur time
ilyyy
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♡smut. - B.E x fem!reader
Hi babyy! I was wondering where you had disappeared too. But back again with the wonderful ideas I see 🤭 ilyy! Enjoy love
⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠂⠄⠄⠂☆
You loved your husband. You really did. But the journey through marriage was the one thing that made you realize sudden... changes.
For a few years now, you have taught physiology for the longest. It was one of your favorites back when you were in university. Even though you often got clowned for it.
But you especially loved teaching that class because of one particular girl..
Billie.
She was everyone's favorite. They loved her for who she was and how she was with others. There was not one negative thing about her... she was perfect from her dark silky hair to her diamond like eyes to her odd but very attractive choice of clothing.
You tried to push her away. You really did. But the more she interacted with you, the more attraction you felt towards her. It was like a magnetic pull you couldn't intercept. A strong knot you couldn't untie.
You were at your desk, lost in thought while everyone was too focused on an assignment or having their own conversations.
You stared at your laptop, biting on your nail as you scrolled through your emails mindlessly. You had applied to teach at a more professional position at your school and hadn't gotten an email back yet when you should've around this time.
You rested your face in the palm of your hands, sighing deeply.
You felt a tap on your shoulder, a soft voice calling your name. So you looked up and she smiled when you saw her. Her smile was a grin that challenged the boundaries of her face. And bright eyes that practically hypnotized you without the entiention to.
"Hi babe, feeling okay?" You loved the way she talked to you... loved the way she called you those cute little nicknames in that arousing tone that turned you on more than it should've. You had a husband.
You had everything any other woman could want.. a big house, a stable job that paid good money, and a loving man who cherished and spoiled you every single day. Then why wasn't it enough? Why weren't you satisfied.
"Yeah. I'm okay. Thank you, Billie." She tilted her head and the grin on her face more prominent as she leaned in closer, her hands planted on the desk for support.
"You seem stressed babe... I know a thing or two to help with that."
You swallowed. Hard. You felt your body weaken at the intense eye contact between you two. The tension in the air felt more and more dominant as the time passed by. It was like she could see right through you. Undressing you with her eyes, slowly. painfully.
"Uhm..." And before you could finish your sentence, the bell rang. dismissing all students from their classes. Thank god.
After hours of reviewing papers and driving through the flooded streets from the pouring rain, you'd finally made it home. Your husband was still in his office around this time, nost likely fallen asleep. He was pretty strict about not being bothered, so you did your best to leave him alone.
He would stay in his office for hours and come out early in the morning. This was an everyday thing, so you often slept in the room alone. It was sad, but you were understanding.
You finally took a hot shower, feeling in need of one all day. It was around 6 p.m., so you still had time before you'd head to bed. You threw on a black silk nightgown and walked out into the living room, plopping onto the couch and sighing deeply.
You were lost in thought once again, and your mind ran back to the interaction with Billie earlier that day.
The way she looked at you had been replaying in your had all day. You could feel the intimacy through her gaze. It was hot. It was seductive.
You took a deep breath and snaked your hand to the lace of the bottom of your nightgown, tugging at it slightly as you bit down on your lip. This was wrong. But you couldn't help it. She made you like this. You were fine without sex in your marriage, or so you thought, for all your husband did was work. You did try to at least have a little action with him. But his excuse was always 'I'm busy'.
All that built-up sexual frustration multiplied as each day went by. You felt unwanted. Like you weren't enough for him.
You slid the fabric covering your pussy to the side, revealing all the wetness that had built up on your underwear.
Your head fell back against the cushion of the couch as you slid a finger inside your dripping cunt. You squirmed and let out an unsatisfied whine. It wasn't enough. You tried adding another finger, but before you could, you were interrupted by the doorbell that echoed throughout the house.
Your body shot up, and you fixed yourself before walking over to the front of the house. You opened the door, and your eyes widened at the sight of Billie right in front of you.
"Hi beautiful." She smiled. "Billie? How did you...?" She chuckled as her eyes ran down your figure, noticing the thin fabric that covered absolutely nothing. It was short and very inviting. And the fact that you hadn't been wearing a bra had her questioning what she even came here for. It took every bone in her body not to just pounce on you right then and there.
You noticed her checking you out, and you gasped, realizing you had been showing quite a lot of skin. "Oh, uh... one second." She smirked, and you closed the door behind you. Running to your room to grab a sweater and throwing it over your head.
Billie smiled at you once you'd open the door again, inviting her in. "Sorry about that..." you said nervously. "No worries. The night dress was cute, though. What a shame you changed"
You felt your body heat up. You were embarrassed... just a minute ago, your hands were in places they shouldn't have been. touching yourself to the thoughts of her.
And now she was on your couch, sitting in the same spot you were just fucking yourself on. Or at least attempting to.
You eyed the door to your husband's office, clearing your throat before you spoke. "So.. to what do I owe the pleasure?" She turned her head to look at you, standing in the kitchen. Billie bit down on her lip before she stood up. "Well... I just needed some help."
Your heart began to race, every heart beat louder than the next as she got closer with every step towards you. "The assignment from earlier today. I don't quite understand it?"
You swallowed. Hard. She looked so hot. Sweatpants hanging low on her waist, just enough for her tattoo and colored boxers to peak through, a black hoodie that was slightly cropped. Oh, and you can't forget about her messy dark hair flipped to the side. 'Fuck. me.' You thought to yourself. Figuratively but mostly literally of course.
"What was there not to understand? I'm pretty sure I explained it pretty well." Billie leaned over the counter across from you, biting down on her lip as she smiled.
"Really? I guess I was just distracted." For a second, you got lost in her iris. Distracted by the slight glimmer in her eyes from the light, making them pop. You took a deep breath. "Best pay attention then, love."
She had to physically hold back from pretty much dicking you down on your own counter. The sudden nickname making her body shiver as she groaned. "Or you could help me now?"
You raised your brows, nodding your head slowly. "And what do I get in return?" You smugged, licking your lips as you looked at her own. Dammit. This was your student you were flirting with. But it was so hard to resist her when she talked to you like this.
"Why ruin the surprise pretty? You'll find out soon enough. " You exhaled, mind wondering to all the types of 'surprises' she could be talking about. "Why not tell me now.. I'm impatient." No. You wanted her to show you.
Your bottom lip stuck out, pouting before you walked around the kitchen island and stood next to her, softening your voice. "Think of this as... extra credit?"
Fuck it. She wanted you now. Show you exactly what she'd been wanting to do to you for so long. Forget the fact that you had a husband. You didn't love him anyway. Romantically, at least.
She grabbed your hips, pinning you in front of her, the counter digging into your back before she lifted you up, sitting your body down carefully onto the cold marble. "For all the hard work I'm about to do? Extra credit would be very much appreciated."
She tugged on your sweatshirt, urging you to take it off before sliding her hand up your thigh. Dangerously close to your heat... exactly where you'd wanted her. "Take this off for me baby." She whispered. And without another thought, you did as you were told, yanking the hoodie off of your body and now exposing the black satin gown you were wearing earlier. It was getting too hot anyway. Especially with her here in front of you.
Billie hummed, pleased with how fast you'd responded to her. So precious. She slid her hand farther up your thigh, pulling at the elastic of the fabric that covered your cunt and sliding it off of your legs. You whimpered, feeling the cool breeze between your legs.
"Shh. Wouldn't want your husband to hear. Would we now?" You shook your head. She shoved your underwear in the pocket of her sweatpants before picking you up and bringing you to whatever room she could find. Preferably yours. The thought of fucking you in the master bedroom you shared with your husband was fucking hot.
She carefully tossed you onto the cushion of the bed, lying on your back as she crawled up to you, hovering over your body. "You have no clue how long I've wanted to do this."
You brought your hands up, wrapping them around her neck as you pulled her closer, tangling your fingers in her hair. "Better get to it then." She smirked devishly. Impressed by your sudden boldness.
"Yes ma'am." She maneuvered her way down to your heat, grabbing onto the bottom of your nightgown before lifting it up to your mouth. "Here. Try not to be too loud mama." You nodded your head, biting down onto the fabric.
You couldn't help but squirm beneath her. Like you were a woman stripped of your own pleasure. You hadn't felt the warmth of someone else's touch in so long. But now here you were... so needy and desperate for her to touch you. Even her breath on your skin made you shiver.
"Brace yourself." She said. And that made you think about every little thing she was about to do to you. Mind racing on what she would and wouldn't do. And she could tell, but she didn't want you thinking about it. Just wanted you to feel it. Feel her. And before you knew it, she licked a stripe up your folds. Slowly. soaking in the taste of you.
Your body jumped, surprised by the sudden contact. You grabbed onto the sheets and tried your hardest to hold back the guttiest moan ever.
Billie kissed your thigh and soothed your skin with her soft hands. She wanted to make sure you were okay. You whimpered and ran your hands through her hair, taking a deep breath.
"Please.."
"Patience, baby. Don't worry, I'll make sure you feel reaaal good."
You felt something press against your cunt, something small but hard. Before you could look down to see what it was, you felt it vibrate, making you ball up her hair in your fist. "Oh my god."
You heard her chuckle before pushing it between your folds. "Found it just lying on the floor by your desk. Convenient, dont you think?" You couldn't even respond. The feeling of her breath against your pussy as she pushed the vibrator deeper into you with her fingers sending you into a bliss. All you could see were stars, your vision blurring as you fluttered your eyes closed.
You bit down harder onto the gown, your body quivering. Chest heaving. "Feels good?" You nodded your head, processing her words as best as you could.
"God, you look so beautiful. I always thought you would, but this.. fuck." She sat up, leaving the vibrator to do the work as she slid down her sweatpants, throwing them to the side to retrieve later. You looked down, noticing the bulge in her boxers.
No fucking way.
She took off the boxers, revealing the fake dick she had strapped to her waist. You couldn't help but stare. She had that on the whole time. From the moment she was at your front door.
"Bille, i dont.." – "You tell me you don't want it. Then I won't give it to you. But once I start, there's no stopping."
She gulped. Would something that big even fit inside? It'd been too long, you weren't very confident. "Okay.." You nodded your head, reassuring her that you wanted to continue, and she tilted her head, humming.
She spit where her cock lined up with your enterance, groaning before she pushed inside slowly. Now that.. that was the hottest thing you've ever fucking seen.
"Wait! Billie the vibra–" and before you could finish your sentence, she was fully inside you, down to the brim. Pushing the vibrator farther into your pussy.
"Woops." She watched as your eyes rolled back, your hand gripping onto her wrist as she held onto your waist, pulling you closer as if she wasn't deep enough. She wanted to be close to you. Closer than ever before... She wanted to become one.
The nightgown fell from your mouth as you moaned out for her. "Quiet, my love." She said breathlessly.
It was so sensual. She treated you better than he ever could. Loved you better than he ever could. It ignited a fire inside you that you never thought existed. It felt so good. Burned so good.
"More– please.. please." She shifted her body, moving herself somehow closer than she already was. She threw your leg over her shoulder, and pushed her fingers inside your pussy, reaching for the vibrator before sliding it out carefully. Trying not to hurt you.
Once she did, she re-entered her cock inside your cunt, which was practically drowning it in your juices. She was hitting your walls at a new angle, causing you to squeeze around her and let out a soft moan.
"As you wish." She groaned, pulling out slowly and thrusting herself deeper. Harder. The new angle only adding to the pleasure. Who would've thought this woman could fuck you ten times better than your husband ever could.
She thrusted her cock inside you at an unbelievable pace, as if she was some kind of sex god. You reached up for her, wanting her to hold you. Wanting to feel her warmth radiate onto you. So she pulled you up, sitting you on her lap as you rode her, causing her to hit you at, once again, an entirely different angle.
Your head fell onto her shoulder, wrapping your arms around her neck as you masked in her scent. Only the wet sounds of your body connecting in the most lustful ways ever bouncing off the walls of the room.
You could feel your climax approaching. And so could Billie. Your walls clenched around her cock, making it more difficult for her to fuck you properly.
"You got it. Come for me, baby. I know you can." Your body convulsed as you gripped onto her shoulders, nails digging into her skin, causing her to hiss. She figured it would leave a mark, but who cares. She just wanted to make you feel good.
"Fuuuck..!" You choked on a moan, bringing your head up as you pushed your lips onto hers, tongues fighting for dominance. Eventually getting you to surrender, she bit down on your lip and brought her hand down to your clit, pressing down as she traced figure eights, luring your climax closer.
Your mouth hung open, resting your forehead on hers as you came on her cock, it felt like you were a virgine coming for the first time. You surely weren't. But that's just how good she made you feel.
She soothed your back and continued her repeating motion on your clit, helping you ride out your climax as you grinded ontop of her. Your body tensed and shuddered, eyes tearing up as she lifted your head and wiped them with her thumb.
"You okay?" You just nodded your head, still trying to catch your breath, your body still stuck between the realm of pleasure and reality.
She kissed your forehead before lying you back down onto the bed. "I'll be right back, okay?" You raised your brows, propping yourself up on your elbows as you watched her walk away into your bathroom.
A few minutes later, she came out with a warm cloth and sat down next to you, smiling before she began wiping you down. "Thank you." She just laughed softly, making you feel a little embarrassed even though you were a grown ass woman. She just had that power over you. "You're welcome, my love."
You felt your eye lids slowly flutter closed. You tried to fight it, but the feeling of her hand soothing over your body with a cloth made you feel warm... and quite tired. She placed the palm of her hand on your cheek, caressing softly with her thumb before she leaned down and planted a soft kiss on your lips. And a few minutes later, you were fast asleep.
"Rest well, my love."
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Notes: i actually kinda hate this... but i wasn't gonna rewrite the whole thing. AGAIN.. Hopefully, you like it more than i do😅 enjoy my loves💝
#billie eilish#imagine#billie eilish fanfiction#fanfiction#fic#billie eilish fic#billie eilish imagine#billie eilish x fem!reader#anon♡♡#billie eilish smut#billie eilish x reader#billie eilish x y/n#billie eilish x you#x you#x reader#smut#wlw smut#wlw#hmhas#hmhas tour#hmhas billie eilish#irina768♡#masterlist#billie eilish request#billie eilish oneshot#billie eilish blurb#blurb#request
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hi! could you please do a part 2 to enha forgets ur birthday? pls part 1 was so good🫵🏼🫶🏻 i just wanna see them grovel lol
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non!idol enhypen x non!idol reader
forgetting your birthday pt. 2 !
pt. 1
warnings : she/her pronouns used, cursing, crying, mentions of grief.
luna's diary : this one kinda sucks ugh. HELLA RUSHED because I went to a trip (Singapore + Malaysia) AND THE CELL SERVICE WAS terrible I'm so so so sorry anons this is very dissapointing but I felt bad making yall wait for so long. Promise to edit this as soon as I reach home!
HEESEUNG
After the realisation that your boyfriend, had indeed forgotten your birthday, the birthday spirits you had in the starting of the day had blown away. As promised he appeared to your door step with flowers in his hands as he murmured a set of apologies for forgetting your special day. Saying you were mad at your boyfriend would be a huge understatement. You were furious with a hint of disappointment. "baby I'm sorry please" he said as you closed your eyes felt a few tears threatening to fall. Noticing this heeseung hugged you tight and ran his hands in your head wondering how he could make it up to you. He knew he messed up and this couldn't be mended easily. Like a broken dam, your tears started flowing uncontrollably. "How could you forget hee?" you questioned him finally using your voice for the first time since he arrived. "I know pretty girl im so sorry" he said as his voice hitched and eyes swelling up with tears, his mind running on a marathon trying to find ways to make it up to you. Like a bulb lighting above his head, he left you on the spot and rushed to the living room.
A few minutes later he rushed back ushering you to follow him. Upon reaching the living room you saw a beautifully decorated living room with fairy lights, your favourite blankets with your snacks and your favorite movie ready to play. A smiled adorned your features as you heard him say "i know what I did was terrible but let me try to make it up to you".
JAY
He was at a party with the boys when you made him realised that he had messed up the date. He couldn't believe it. This man was shocked, mind blank wtf type shock. By the time he reached home he was already in tears. But when he saw how dark your house was with sadness evident on your face as you slept in your bed he broke down right in front of your sleeping figure.
How could he mess up the date that marks your creation? He was more dissapointed in him than you were tbh. You were soon awaken by the sounds of your boyfriend's cries. "Baby what's wrong?" You questioned him cradling his face. "I'm sorry princess I'm so sorry i can't believe I forgot your birthday"
He was more heartbroken than you were, his emotions all over the place. "Baby it's okay i promise" Cuddles and kisses you the whole night and clears his schedule for the next day.
JAKE
The whole day you patiently waited for Jake to show his existence to you. It was your birthday and you were excited to spend the day with him. But to no avail, he didn't show up. Deciding to occupy yourself with your phone, you saw a notification indicating that Jake had uploaded a story. The light in your eyes faded away as you took in Jake with Iseul, a junior, on your birthday.
Having done with this, you decided to finally text him. Upon realising what he had done, he rushed home to see you on the couch with a dark cloud above your head. "Hey baby" Jake started slowly. "I'm really sorr-" "Save it Jake I don't want to hear it" You responded cutting him off. "But baby you know Iseul is like a younger sister to me" He started again. He was walking on eggshells right now knowing that if he said anything wrong you would crack. "I get that she's a younger sister to you, but Jake it's my birthday, you could have comforted her tomorrow, but my birthday wont be tomorrow" You replied. "I waited for you so long, try and look at this in my point of view Jake" as you said that his eyes softened. "I'm so sorry, i get why you're mad at me baby please let me try and make it up to you" He said trying to mend things. "Just give me time Jake, i don't think I'll get over this easily" You said as you left the house.
You were back 3 hours later, with jake in the same spot you left him. He expression blanked as he looked at you. You were spooked out by him as you stared back at him for a moment. "Are you just gonna stand there for the rest of your life?" You asked giggling. Hearing your precious laughter he looked at you with a slight smile on his face. "Baby, I'm sorry i really am. I don't know how it managed to slip out of my mind. I swear i remembered it I'm so sorry" He said starting to ramble as you looked at him. His words barely registered in your mind due to how fast he was speaking. "Jake it's okay" "and i get it if you're still mad at me and don- wait what?" He asked confused. "You accept my apology?" He continued as you nodded. Finally moving after hours he engulfed you in a hug. "Thank you Thank you, I'll make sure this never happens again" he said gratefully. "You better not do this shit again" You said.
"Now tell me the Iseul tea"
SUNGHOON
When you asked him if he checked his calendar out of the blue he was confused. Why would you suddenly want him to check his calendar?
Upon actually checking his calendar he went pale realising he forgot your birthday, an occasion that shouldn't be remembered through a calendar. This guy was going through five stages of grief.
"no way i forgot my princess' birthday"
"how the fuck did I manage to forget her birthday?"
"God please let this be a dream"
"i forgot her birthday"
"okay i forgot her birthday, let's make it up to her" He said finally reaching the last stage of grief, acceptance. He rushed to your house to see you not there. He called your name multiple times hoping to get an answer from you finally seeing you sitting in the balcony.
"Hey baby, whatcha doin'?" your boyfriend asked you slowly walking towards you. "Nothing just sitting" You replied slowly, sadness evident in your voice. "Baby" Sunghoon starts again sitting next to you this time. He passed you a chocolate eyeing you to open it.
Upon opening it you noticed a small peice of paper with "I love you" and "I'm sorry" written on it. "I don't know how it slipped my mind, princess. But I will make it up to you, I promise". You understood his point of view, it was common to forget stuff. Though you were still hurt by this, you laid your head on his shoulder and the both of you silently enjoyed the scenery your balcony offered in silence.
SUNOO
The day had ended by the time your boyfriend had finally remembered your existence and decided to text you. You had held a party to celebrate your special day with your friends and family hoping to see a sign of sunoo. When sunoo had first texted you, you were shocked to find out that he had absolutely no idea what party or what special occasion you were talking about. You were devastated to find out that not only did he not know what day it was, but he expected you to tell him.
What kind of boyfriend doesn't remember his girlfriend's birthday and then expect her to tell him? You were mad at him with alot of hurt lingering inside you.
The clock read 1:30 am the moment he stepped inside the house. Looking around he saw leftover confetti, balloons and alocholic beverages yet to be picked up. All of this indicating that there was infact a party held. Sunoo knew that what he had done would not take a good turn and that it would take alot of fighting and apologizing to make it up to you. Spotting you with tears in your eyes, he made his way to you slowly pulling you into a hug and started apologizing.
He was sorry and guilty, you knew he was. But him expecting you to tell him that it was your birthday was where you drew the line.
You were unsure on whether you could forgive him at all. He promised to take you out tomorrow and attempt to make it up to you. You knew that wouldn't heal the hurt this had caused you, but you appreciated his efforts and agreed as you hugged him back.
JUNGWON
Out of all the people you liked in your life, you never expected Yang Jungwon to forget your birthday. If someone told you he would, you would laugh your ass off. But now, you were in tears as you held your phone finally deciding to text him.
You were in disbelief as you found out that he thought your birthday was next weekend. Thoughts like "How can someone mess up their lover's birthday?" "does he care less to not know which day" were running through your head.
He rushed into your home apologizing immediately mentioning how much he had planned and got a date wrong. He was on the verge of tears as you looked up at him rambling.
"Baby i promise i remembered, look I even had some gifts prepared" He said as he sped walk towards your shared dresser in the bedroom opening up a random compartment you had no idea existed. "What the fuck? Since when was that there?" You asked him in utter shock.
"It's always been there baby, you never noticed it" Jungwon said taking out a huge amount of gifts for you. "You weren't kidding when you said you were prepared huh?" You spoke as you scanned the bags. "Since last month" He winked at you as he led you to your living room.
"I'm so sorry, i can't believe I forgot your birthday I'm such a bad boyfriend" Jungwon apologized to you as guilt and shamed swirled in his orbs ( is this even right wtf - leaderwon ).l
"Won it's fine, don't worry" You said as a smile finally made its way on your face. "Now let's see what you got me I'm so excited" you said again as you smiled wider in happiness.
NI-KI
You were raging as you watched him play his video games for the entire day. You weren't an anti of games for you were also into playing. But it was your birthday today, a day he was supposed to spend with you instead of the ps5 Jay had gotten him on his birthday last year.
You were heartbroken as you tried to knock some sense into your boyfriend. Unfortunately, it didn't work. Finally giving up, you took your wallet and coat and left the house to get fresh air.
You could feel your phone vibrate as Ni-ki spammed your phone asking where you were. You decided against on replying and just walked ahead. Soon, you heard your boyfriend call your name from behind as he ran towards you. You tried walking faster since you didn't want to be with him at the moment. But your luck was unfortunate as he had legs long asf and caught up to you within moments.
"baby stop, come back home it's late" he begged. "Go back to your game, it's never too late for that" You said in a monotonous tone. "I'm sorry" "Sorry won't fix the day I lost waiting for you to fucking realise and rejecting all my friends who cared enough to want to spend the day with me" You said almost tearing up and walking again.
"I'm sorry" You heard him say as he stopped following you. You never heard his voice be so gentle in the 2 years you have been dating him. His voice sounded like he was on the brink of having a mental breakdown. "I really am" He said again and your heart dropped. You wondered if you were being too harsh on him.
Frozen in place, you could feel the tension in the air as the cool air blew through your hair. You were trying really hard to stay strong and hard but when you turned back to look at him, you could feel your heart drop to your stomach. You knew you were soft for this man, but the moment you looked at him you could feel emotions that you weren't aware yu could feel.
"Please" You heard him say. His eyes were pitiful with a tear threatening to fall. "I know i fucked up but please please let me try and make it up to you". You couldn't bare to see him like this anymore. "Fine" You sighed and walked towards him again.
You were hurt he missed your birthday, yes. But seeing him like that hurt you more. You knew you were deep as you held his hand and walked to the house the both of you resided in.
© @leaderwon 2024. Do not copy, translate, alter, repost or plagarize in any platform
#enhypen#enhypen x you#enhypen x y/n#enhypen angst#enhypen comfort#enhypen heeseung#enhypen jay#enhypen jake#enhypen sunghoon#enhypen sunoo#enhypen jungwon#enhypen niki#enhypen x heeseung#enhypen x jay#enhypen x reader#heeseung#jay#jake#sunghoon#sunoo#jungwon#niki#jake sim#enhypenfanfic#enhypen smau#enhypen fake texts#enhypen fluff#enhypen imagines#enhypen texts#enhypen reactions
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my dearest love | ellie williams
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pairings: farm!ellie x f!reader
summary: you and ellie have been together for around two years, the two of you in love and living on a farm house together where you both decided to reside due to how dangerous it is in the city.
content warning: 18+ SMUT MDNI, farmhouse, lovers, slight angst, reassurance, gentle, reader receiving, oral, fingering, & praising
dont purchase tlou2! support palestine 🇵🇸
—— <3
the day started off the same as always, you waking up to change the baby and straighten up the bedroom you all shared, the floorboards creaking quietly as you tiptoed around the house.
the sound of the birds chirping and the grass swaying through the wind hitting your ears each time you passed the windows that were open in substitute to air conditioning. you laid your baby down in their crib who remained sleeping despite the changing of their diaper.
you smiled, looking down the chunky little baby whose tiny lips were slightly parted from sleeping so well. one of your hands gliding over the tiny human’s face.
after an swift while of analyzing the creation you made, you tucked your baby underneath the blanket to begin picking up any clothes you found from the day before.
your hands tossing them into the clothing bin to be washed and strung outside to dry later. after that, you headed downstairs as subtle as you could to start making breakfast.
humming to yourself while you cracked and scrambled four eggs that were freshly taken from the chickens hen the night before. you thought to yourself for a moment, mind completely blurred. 
you shivered as you felt a pair of arms wrapping around your waist from behind, goosebumps coating your skin while you were immediately knocked from out your thoughts, a gentle peck being placed on the left side of your neck.
“goodmorning, howd you sleep?” you heard your lover say, her voice slightly raspy while she gently rubbed her fingertips over your hips. you let you head fall back onto her shoulder, the feeling making you sigh in relief.
“i slept well, thanks to you.. i missed you so much.” you said before turning around to face her, wrapping your arms around her neck while smiling happily at the sight of her, her shoulder length hair a bit messy as her pale green eyes glistened in the sunlight that peeked throughout the kitchen ever so beautifully.
despite ellie being home now, she wasnt a few weeks ago. tommy heading over to update her on the new information he found on abby. as much as you hated the thought of her leaving, you allowed it. tears were shed everyday before she returned.
the thought of leaving to find her crossed your mind far too many times but you listened to her, trusting that she’d be back soon enough and the one day you packed up your bookbag and grabbed your weapons with your baby strapped to your chest, there she was at the front door.
ellie was in shock, not expecting you to be so eager and impatient to find her. that alone making her happy but also a bit sad as she wouldn’t even know what to do if you and you guy’s baby gotten hurt or into some deep shit.
you ran a hand over her auburn hair before tilting your head at her, “no need to miss me, im here now. i dont plan on leaving any longer.” she said, her eyes traveling from your irises to your lips a few times.
“im glad, ‘cant be without you.” you said in response, leaning forward to place a soft but long peck onto her lips. ellie let out a hum into the kiss, her hands gliding over your lower back and waist gently.
you furrowed your eyebrows in awe, pulling her closer to you as the kiss progressively grew more and more passionate. your feet stumbling back as you were met with the counter that was conventionally behind you.
you gasped, feeling the cool wood graze your hips while ellies hands massaged and groped your soft and smooth skin, her breathing hitching a bit the more she leaned into you.
ellie pulled away to make her way to your neck, your head falling back once again while you felt yourself tremble from the feeling of her soft lips immediately and directly hitting your sweet spot, “f.. fuck, ellie.. dont.” you mumbled softly.
you whined, feeling her place an knee between your thighs that were trembling. she always knew what to do to get you pooling your panties with your wetness.
“its been so long.. please.” she said softly against your skin before pulling away to look at you with now pink cheeks and lips, her tatted hand lifting to glide down your clothed chest.
“i know.. i want you but im nervous.” you said, letting a breath pass between your lips from the feeling of her gentle fingers passing over your body.
“dont be, i know your body better than ever and ill take my time. i know we haven’t did it since you gave birth but i promise ill treat your body right.” she responded, giving you complete eye contact.
you felt yourself relax, nodding at her words, “then take me.” you said, your breath grazing her lips as she leaned in closely to kiss you once again, enthusiastically deepening it while grabbing your waist.
ellie and you stumbled your way to the living room, her hands landing on the walls and doorframes to keep the two of you steady before collapsing onto the couch, the auburn haired girl landing on top and between your legs.
you felt your body heating up more and more as both of your lips danced around eachother, getting a bit sloppy from the eagerness before feeling ellie pull away to look at you, her eyes low and full of lust.
“take this off..” she mumbled a bit above an whisper, grabbing the hem of your shirt to pull it over your head, exposing your bare stomach and breasts that immediately caught her eyes.
she let her eyes pass over your body, every curve catching her attention as she slipped the hairtie holder off of her wrist and lifted her arms to pull half of her hair back into an messy ponytail.
you whined a little, gasping as you felt her fingers immediately play with your nipples, rolling the nubs between her thumb and pointer fingers while she watched your reaction closely, her lips stretching into a smirk.
“does that feel good baby?” she asked, earning a whimper from you, “yes.. please.” you begged, growing desperate and needy for her long slender fingers in your soaked cunt.
“no need to worry, you have me. im just getting you there.” she said, laying a soft kiss on your lips as she reassured you before leaning down to take one of your nipples into her mouth.
“fuck.” you let out, resting the back of your hand over your mouth to keep you from being loud through the quiet house while ellie’s tongue gently rubbed your nipple, sucking it as she pulled away to do the same to the other.
your back arched up from the couch cushions that were under you, the feeling of ellie landing teasing pecks down your stomach made your pussy ache in your panties, “please..”.
she grabbed your waistband and leaned up to yank your shorts and panties off, instantly moaning from the sight of your glistening pussy. “so wet for me.” she mumbled, using one of her hands to rub two fingers between your slit, gaining a whine that passed from your throat quietly.
her large hands readjusted you on the couch, pushing you further up to the armrest where she leaned down between your legs to place soft kisses on your inner thighs as she tucked her slightly muscular arms under your legs to get a better grip on you.
“no more teasing.. i cant take it anymore.” you said softly, gasping as she glided her tongue from your thigh to your pussy, her tongue flattening between your slit to land a long lick from your entrance to your clit.
your eyes shut subconsciously, hearing her hum a bit while flicking her tongue over your desperate clit before sucking the sensitive bud which made you immediately lay a hand over her head to push her deeper between your legs.
this did nothing but encourage ellie, her eyes slowly drifting close from how good you tasted as she pulled away from your pussy with a pop noise, holding your thighs down to flick and rub her tongue back and forth over your clit.
you furrowed your eyebrows, your breathing getting more intense while you sat up to watch her in awe. your eyes growing glossy from how good it felt, thighs already trembling. “oh fuck! ellie!” you moaned out, hips pushing up into her mouth.
ellie hummed in response, lapping her tongue over your clit before swirling the muscle over your cunt sloppily; a long moan dragging from your mouth while your fingers tugged at her ponytail. “you taste so good, baby.” she spoke muffled, face still deep in your pussy.
“dont stop, please! ‘feels too good!” you moaned loudly, throwing your head back once you felt her suck and swirl her tongue over your clit at an quick pace, eyes rolling back in complete awe.
you jerked forward, eyes shutting tightly while your toes began to curl, moans falling from your mouth loudly as you felt yourself grow more hot and flushed than before.
ellie pulled away for a split second to spit her saliva and your juices onto her fingers before pushing them deep into your pussy as she began flicking the tip of her tongue onto the bud of your pussy, fingers curling up into your spot that she always seemed to find.
she took her time, pushing her fingers into you before pulling them halfway out to yank at your spongy sweet spot, your juices soaking her chin while she watched you closely.
you on the other were a mess, body shaking and twitching as you felt your body begin to tremble while your pussy spasmed over her fingers, “i.. if you do that.. mm! ‘gonna make me cum!” you moaned, attempting to push her head away.
her fingers sped up as she watched you through heavy lids, attaching her lips around your bits to start sucking and tugging at your sensitive clit while your body started to tense and the feeling between your thighs grew more intense.
ellie leaned up, continuing to push her fingers in and out of you before rubbing your clit quickly with her free hand, nodding her head slowly in response to you. a smug look forming on her face while she watched your expressions change and alter from every move she made.
“cum for me, let it all out baby. be a good girl and cum for me.” she said, landing a few spanks on your clit as she sped up her fingers and applied a bit more pressure to your clit.
“im gonna cum!..” you let out while your eyes rolled back and your head fell against the arm rest on the couch while your mouth dropped open, juices beginning to flow down your thighs as you started to come undone all over her fingers.
ellie laughed as she twisted her fingers in circles inside of you while she helped fuck you through your orgasm, slapping your clit a few more times. “good girl, you did so well.” she said, slowly pulling her digits out of you to lean up and kiss you sloppily.
you whimpered, panting a bit against her lips. your heart was pounding, body still trembling and pussy now aching from how intense your orgasm was.
a whine passing through your lips and into the kiss from the familiar taste of your pussy hitting your tongue, arms and legs wrapping around ellie to hold her closely.
after an few minutes of kisses and i love you’s both of you pulled away from the sound of your 3 month old crying from upstairs, immediately making ellie lift up off the couch.
“get dressed, ill go get him and dont worry about breakfast. ill cook for us.” ellie said, smiling happily at you before heading upstairs while you began to slip your shorts and shirt back on, smiling as you thought about everything.
“dammit ellie, what am i gonna do with you..”
link 2 my masterlist!
#ellie tlou#black writers#ellie williams#ellie the last of us#ellie williams smut#ellie smut#ellie williams x reader#ellie x fem reader#ellie x y/n#tlou2#ellie x you#ellie x reader
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