#i slept for sixteen hours last night | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

madamechrissy · 8 months ago

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♡ Time after Time ♡

♡ ♡ Pairings ♡ ♡ CEO! Satoru Gojo x Fem Reader

♡ ♡ Warnings ♡ ♡ MDNI- Cunnilingus, explicit sex, choking, smacking, breeding kink, fr a huge breeding kink, dirty talk, edging, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, forced orgasms, biting

♡ ♡ Summary ♡ ♡ Gojo Satoru is your boss And you've been his head assistant for over two years now. You do everything for him, including and not limited to cleaning his messes, picking out his clothes, and writing his speeches. Sixteen hour days... night calls... You are tired of being overworked and at his beck and call. You decide you are going to put in your two weeks notice. He is shocked, and wants to try to keep you, because you're the best. But you know better. Right? . You really wanna fucking quit. You also wanna fuck him. Also, fuck him.

A/N (Kinda has 'two weeks notice' vibes a bit! No use of y/n.) Fully finished on Ao3 but I'm going to slowly get it all up here! (Gojo's POV in itallics)

Chapter 7 - Masterlist - Playlist

Chapter 8

Your pussy was aching from Gojo Satoru, your neck sensitive from his bites, ass sore from his rough grip, bruises on your thighs making you shiver as you stood, your body was still reeling. Gojo had left yesterday afternoon, pushing your date off a day so that you could ‘recover’. Shit, you needed to. You had slept damn near the whole day once he’d gone.

The date was something he would not tell you about. He had simply smirked and said it was a mystery.

A surprise is a surprise.

But…

It’ll get that stick out of your ass. Relax and trust me.

A knock shook you out of your reverie, then, and you went to open your door to see a package dropped off, another pretty box like Gojo had sent last week for the charity ball. You flushed, nervous at what this all meant, falling so bad for such a silly man child, and falling harder with each breath. You shiver a bit with excitement and anticipation as you bring the box in.

Sitting it on the bed, your mind whirls with how much has changed in such a small time, feelings uncovered you’d always had so deep. There was no hiding from it anymore, not when you damn near dropped the L bomb mid fuck. You try to explain it away as some orgasm brain, but deep down you know it’s something else.

You take the pretty ribbon off, putting it with the last one you’d saved in your top drawer, they were far too pretty to just toss away. You peek at your little selfie with him, flushing like some damn school girl, just like little Miwa, but you were grown. Right? Why did he have such an effect…

You go back to the job of opening the package, with its pretty blue and white tissue paper, you wonder errantly if it’s Kiyotaka who has to do this because you can’t imagine it from Gojo. You see lingerie, and you feel your entire body heat up, black and lacy bralette with a high waisted lacy bottom, attached were little straps for stockings, which you saw were right under it.

You take out the little fishnets, and then there is a gorgeous body chain laid out on velvet, one that would go up around your neck, draping down between your breasts, and would wrap down the middle of your waist. It was a glittering silver chain, looking so delicate and pretty, something you would honestly have never thought to get yourself, but something you craved to wear now.

For him.

There was a little note, and that made you more nervous, biting your lip apprehensively, taking the little card out. Gojo had messy, wide, scrawling handwriting, usually making you write most things for him, and it made you want to chuckle as you tried to read it.

‘Put this on for me, pretty please! I am using puppy dog eyes, so you can’t deny me. Kiyotaka will be there at 8.’

You rolled your eyes, but then grew confused. What were you going to wear over it? Where were you going and how should you dress? Puppy dog eyes huh…Then you got another knock.

“Shit, Gojo… how much…” There was another knock, and another package. Again no one was there, like Gojo did this to fuck with you. You took the large red bag, and sat it also on your bed, and it was a red overcoat. A long one, looking like something some detective would wear.

You peer for some dress, but no. Another note.

‘I have this fantasy of you in lingerie under a big ass trenchcoat, nothing else. Humour me would you? *Puppy eyes*’

You snorted in laughter, and felt heat between your thighs. Where were you all going that it would be acceptable to wear such a thing, the thought of it drove you crazy, mind wild. Some raunchy sex club? Some crazy rich people party? You had no clue what to expect. You went to go touch up your hair and do your makeup, and your eyes sparkled at you.

You had rosy cheeks, and a smile… a smile, huh? You peer back at the photo, and realize maybe the happiness wasn’t gone, maybe it had been buried. Maybe it was not even full happiness before this, but you tried not to think too much of it, overthink and ruin things before they started. Overthinking fucking brain.

You turn to slide on the wicked lingerie, making your breasts sit high, lace cupping them like a gentle hug. Then you slid on the crotchless panties that hit mid waist, musing over the last time you’d worn them just the other night, in that bar, snapping it against your…

It was like your thoughts were consumed now.

You fiddle with the garters, unused to such things, sliding the wide fishnets over your smooth thighs. You’d shaved every inch of them and… your intimate area… just a little bit ago, something you’d been doing since Gojo’s affinity for just diving down there. You would never admit that was why, of course.

The chain you pulled out gently, guiding it over your body, it draped around your throat and between your pretty breasts, making them more enticing. You clasp the little back around your waist, securing it, the cold metal against your overheated flesh making you tremble at the sensation.

You peeked and found thigh high boots you’d never had the guts to wear, but had bought because they were sexy. You slid them over your legs, zipping them up, peering in your dresser mirror. The lingerie flatters and enhances your every curve, as you turn you notice even your backside looks amazing, as if Gojo had it in mind to enhance his favorite parts.

Your pussy was left open, bare, giving a thrill as you slid on the long red overcoat, sort of baggy on you, which you had a feeling was his intent since he knew your size so well. You button it up but leave a couple at the top open, loose, knowing it would drive him crazy, and playing into it. You peek at your neck, seeing the bruise he’d left, and pop a thick black choker on to complete the look.

The choker reminded you of hands you’d had on your neck.

You spritz on your new favorite spray, the one Gojo just lost his mind over, touching up your mascara and lip gloss. You hear the phone start to ring, and it’s Kiyotaka. You smile.

“Hello, Sir.”

“My lady.” He was the cutest. “Mr. Gojo has asked me to take you to him, I’ll be waiting right here when you’re ready.”

“Thanks I’ll be right down!” You turn off your lights and lock up, and as you end up riding in the back of the car, your mind runs wild.

“We’re here, my Lady.” Kiyotaka opens your door, and you realize where you are quickly. You’d been there a lot to help Gojo out of his messes. His house.

“What’s he up to, Kiyotaka?” You asked, he actually smiled a tired little smile then, shaking his head.

“I am sworn to secrecy, also the details were… too much.” He was flushing even in the dim evening. You giggled, touching his shoulder fondly.

“Gojo’s a lot. Okay, have a good night and don’t worry I’ll just crash here so you can get some sleep.”

“Mr. Gojo has a destination in mind, this is the first stop.”

“Oh…”

“I'll be back presently, miss.” He said and drove away, leaving you staring at the house in front of you.

The air was crisp and cool, a light breeze rustling through the trees around you, as if Gojo had his own little area of peace, in between the lush trees was his large house, opulent, ceiling to floor windows illuminated with a soft glow. As you stood on the steps of his house now, tapping your fingers against the smooth wood of the railing, wondering if Gojo would meet you out front or not.

Little shit he was, he didn’t.

You ring the bell, and stand and wait outside that opulent manor of his. A few long moments later, the sound of footsteps could be heard approaching from within the house, growing louder and faster until the door swung open, revealing Gojo Satoru himself. His bright blue eyes lit up in the dark, the background light casting a glow around him like he was some god.

Maybe he was.

When those eyes fell upon you, his gaze traveled up and down your body slowly, taking in every detail of the outfit he'd so carefully chosen for you. "You look beautiful. Part one of my fantasy is perfect." He breathed, his voice thick with desire.

You felt your familiar blush, the one that never went away long around him, as he bent down and you tiptoed, kissing each other. “Thank you for the… ahem… for the outfit. It’s so pretty.”

“I can’t wait to see it fully.” He stood, hand caressing your throat, fingering the little choker you wore. “Ooh, that’s hot on you.”

“Thank you. You gonna invite me in?” Your hands fall on his chest, covered by a soft white dress shirt.

“Oh I don’t know, what if you are a vampire? Shit I’m scared!” He asked, feigning fear then, a cross on his fingers. You snorted, shoving at him.

“You’re the vampire. Look.” You ease your choker up, showing him the giant red and purple bruise. He sucked in his breath, and suddenly you were in the house, shoved against his wall.

“Does it hurt?” He asked, and you were unsure of how he meant his words, a taunt? Concern?

“No, it’s just tender.” He kissed you softer, yanking on the choker just a bit, putting the slightest pull to your neck. “Mnh.”

Did that come out of your mouth? From just that?

“Oh sweetheart, you already are becoming a fucking freak.” He crooned the words, one hand on the wall next to you, the other rubbing across the exposed mark, causing you to tense in a mix of pain and desire. “I barely touch you and you fall apart, bet you’re wet aren’t you?”

“N-no. It's just… shit. Fine, maybe a little.” He slid the choker up and licked the bite mark, sending sparks of pain down you, making your tummy clench with desire so quickly it was ridiculous.

Gojo was so close, your air intermingling, hot sighs against your soft skin, you inhaled him, enveloped against his hard embrace. “Hmm. You sure are learning not to lie to me, that’s my good girl.” He slipped a hand down under the coat at the top, moaning softly when he grabbed a soft breast, pleased look on his gorgeous features. “You wore it.”

“Y-yeah. Because it’s pretty.” He chuckled, finally easing back. “Was there no date, just you fucking me on a wall and making Kiyotaka drive me home?”

He chuckled. “Would you complain?”

“No… yeah no. As long as I get food.” He grinned down at you, hair soft and falling, making you brush it back tenderly.

“No silly. I have plans. But I wanted you to show up like this for… reasons.”

You smirked. “Reasons huh.”

“Oh yeah. Also I wanted to do something first. Come on." He finally eased off you, making you miss his cool hard body, but the house was nice and warm.

The interior of Gojo’s house was elegant and tasteful, with large light gray couches in the living room, a sleek bar with stools, and his kitchen was one that had always made you envy. Double oven and an island in the middle. You walk along the plush carpeting, soft light filtering through fancy crystal chandeliers, casting a warm glow over everything.

The fireplace was lit, something that made you instantly ease, crackling a soothing sound against the soft jazz music he had playing. Everything about Gojo and his home were elegant, ridiculously clean, but he had cleaners for that. But Gojo still kept things tidy, even at his office.

“Come here, pretty.” You walked to him, and he swept you in his arms, starting to dance with you, alone in the living room, and you struggled not to hide your face from emotions. “I wanted a little dancy dance.”

“I kinda love it.” You peeked into his gaze. “You're so much more romantic than I thought.” He spun you around, a little pink on his high cheekbones.

“I'm giving it a shot.” You smile tremulously, pressing closer to him, falling into each step.

“Aww, I feel special.”

“That pussy is.” He purred the words with a wink.

“Gojo!” You smack at him, but he yanks you hard, dipping you low over his arm, your hair touching the carpet below, before swinging you back up.

“You want me full on sappy already, fucking brat?”

You shook your head, moving against him, finding your rhythm. “No… just be you.”

He paused, then kissed you, softly, one of your hands entwined, the other on your waist. You sighed into his lips, falling deeper and deeper. “Mmm we'll never get there if I keep kissing you.”

“Get where?”

“You'll see.”

You and Gojo were hand in hand as you went up the elevator to the restaurant Gojo had surprised you with, and you had only heard of it before, unlike any other in Japan. It was nestled in the heart of Tokyo, amidst the bustling cityscape of neon lights and endless high-rises, and it was up on the top of a high rise itself, one of the tallest, with rooftop seating.

As you approached, you could already smell the tantalizing aroma of fresh sushi wafting through the air, mingling with warm sake and incense. The moment you all stepped upstairs to the top, you were enveloped in an atmosphere of serenity as the evening sky and all of the lights of the city were just below you, gentle breeze blowing your hair around.

“What ya think?” Gojo asked, so casually, as you all were led by a hostess to a pretty little table by the balcony, with the perfect view of the lit up city under twinkling stars. You sigh happily, smiling up at him.

“It’s breathtaking. Really.” The chatter amongst the people also there intermingled with the light pop music playing as you were seated. The table itself was gorgeous, a single red rose rested delicately in a crystal vase, and a crisp white linen cloth draped over the table.

“Good I’m glad. It’s my favorite place.” He pulled out your seat, which was cushioned by a plump, red pillow. “My lady.” He purred, you giggled, scooching in, and he yanked the chair from across from you, sitting it next to you. The hostess watched on with envy, clear and stark on her face, as Gojo casually wrapped an arm around you over the back of your chair.

“Mr. Gojo, it’s always good to see you.” She said softly, leaning forward and handing him a little folded paper. You smirked, as did he, grinning and popping it down next to one of the ringed napkins.

“You as well, Kinako. Can we get a bottle of white to start?” He smoothly commanded, and her cheeks heated. “That good with you baby girl?”

You could feel her glare, and Gojo seemed to enjoy the reaction, as if he’d said it to prove something. You grow flustered, and feel his blue gaze on you, eyes twinkling with mischief. “That sounds perfect, Satoru. Thank you.”

“Ahem. Of course, right away Mr. Gojo.” She rushed off, leaving you two snuggling against the breeze, a strong hand cupping your jaw.

“Aww you jealous?”

“I figure this is everywhere you go.” He wiggles his brows.

“The ladies do love me.” He kicks his feet up and you scowl, shoving them down off the table. “What?”

“That’s so rude! You can’t just put your feet on it!”

“I pay enough.” He scoffed with a shrug, then peeked at you. “You don’t have shit to worry about.”

You felt a tightness in your chest as he spoke those words. “I wasn’t worried, it just would be nice if women weren’t so mean when I’m with you is all. So are you gonna keep her number?”

He snorted at you, shaking his head. “No. Why, when you’re right here?”

You kiss him then, uncaring of anyone around you both. “I don’t expect that you know.”

“Yeah well.” He crumbled up the number and winked at you. “I mean that pussy is elite, so.”

“Stop it. You’re actually being really sweet tonight. Thank you.”

“Mmm, I have my moments.” He nipped your lower lip as the waitress came back with a bottle and two glasses, a chilled fancy dark green bottle you couldn’t pronounce. “Ah, thank you.”

“Of course, Mr. Gojo. Here’s the menu!” She handed him it, and didn’t bother to hand you one, which at this point just made you burst out laughing. The waitress glared, and soon Gojo was laughing too, attracting the attention around you both. The girl grew pink with embarrassment.

“Is it okay if I eat too?” You ask her, and she looked properly ashamed, as Gojo nudged you with his shoulder.

“She’s such a angry bitch when she doesn’t eat. So abusive! Ow!” You smacked his shoulder, and he feigned injury. “God, save me from her!”

“I… I… ahem. I can get another menu.” You and Gojo went back and forth like children.

“No no, I’ll order this evil bitch something. Please pray for me, Kinako!” He took her hand, and you watched her melt, as Gojo’s shoulders shook with laughter. You felt so good and just… fuck.

Gojo was something.

“It better be yummy.” You threaten, and Kinako’s eyes are wide as Gojo holds a hand to his chest.

“Oh gosh, the pressure! She ties me down and makes me watch finance specials, you know. This is my cry for help!” You let out a pig like snort, your hands on your face as you die laughing.

“I’ll give you a moment, Mr. Gojo.” As she runs off Gojo nearly dies laughing right along with you.

“Now she’ll really want you!”

“Nah. She’ll be scared of your wrath.” He is flush from laughing, white hair falling in front of his forehead, shadows flickering in the evening lights of the rooftop restaurant, lit by soft lighting all around.

“You don’t have to turn anyone down.” You look down as you speak, but he tilts your chin up.

“No interest to me.” He said simply. Your lips part and you feel the desire for him pulling at you, the soft spot for him blooming. “I mean I like my nun, you know.”

“Good, your nun likes you. Okay what are you getting?” You peek over at his menu, and he points to some fancy name you can barely decipher. “Fuck, too expensive everything. Like maybe a chicken dish for me?”

He rolled his eyes. “I’m rich as fuck. Let me treat you, please.”

You sigh, and he explains things on the menu for you, pointing out what is what, you decide on a small dish and earn his glare. “What? It looks yummy?”

“I like a girl who eats.” You roll your eyes.

“I do eat… just don’t have that god metabolism you do.”

“Your body looks good as fuck. Don’t wanna lose that ass do you?” You feel your cheeks heat up as he teases you.

“Oh gosh. Fine. Maybe this one?”

“A little better.” He wrapped his long arm around you again so casually, and you liked it. A lot. “You're kind of like my girlfriend now, you know.” He was casual as he trailed his fingers down your shoulder.

Your eyes widened, goosebumps under the coat. “Wh-what?” He chuckled, tilting your head to his.

“I didn't ask you out, just saying.”

“You’re confusing.”

“If I wanted to, probably would do it while fucking, you say yes so easy then.” You breathed out a sigh, trembling under his touch, his energy around you intoxicating, making you nervous not being alone.

You gulp for some courage, sipping the delicious white wine then. “You think you’re that amazing huh?”

‘No, I know I am.” He pecked little kisses up your jawline, long fingers playing in your loose long hair. Your heart was going wild though you wouldn't show it.

“Maybe.” You concede, earning his shit eating grin.

“You got all excited. Do you want me to ask you out?”

“I…” You trail off when the waitress comes back, and for once you’re thankful for the interruption, your mind a jumbled mess. You'd expected maybe to be some kind of regular fuck with Gojo or something… and pathetically maybe, you'd take it. Because Lord that man was talented. But a girlfriend you hadn't thought would even be a thing. You’d wanted so badly to leave not long ago, but things had changed so much.

You missed him just one day without seeing him.

“I’ll have this, and this for the lady. Then we’ll have this for dessert together, and also this and this…” He pointed everything out as the girl wrote it all down on a notepad, smiling and bowing in her little blouse and vest.

“Right away Mr. Gojo.”

Gojo pours you another glass, and you sip it, tangy on your tongue, and then caught a drip on the corner of your mouth, wiping it gently with a thumb. You press a little kiss to it, enjoying the catch in his breath.

“It’s delicious. Thank you so much for tonight, Satoru.” You take his hand, kissing his knuckles, and Gojo lets out a little quiet moan, drinking in your body still stuck inside the overcoat. His hand catches your thigh, his thumb playing with the little garter, bending low towards you.

“Good I’m glad. I’m dying to see this.” He whispered, tickling your skin with his breath. “Torturing myself tonight.”

“Maybe it’s a little torutre for me too.”

“Is it? Fuck, You’re already so hot here.” He said softly, tauntingly, hand close to where you ached for his touch. “I love how easy you are for me.”

“I’m not easy…”

“ For me .”

You scowl, sticking out your tongue childishly. “Shut it.”

“Admit it, brat.”

“I’m not easy for you I just… I don’t know, fuck. I get… yeah… easy around you, ugh why do you annoy me like this?”

“You love me, don’t lie.”

You froze, tensing, hoping he would not push that one and was teasing like always. But thankfully, food came before either of you could say anything else. Gojo’s plates and bowls took up much of the table, and he looked like a kid eating cake on his birthday at this point. He started piecing out everything, making you a plate, making you smile with the care he showed.

“Try this!” Gojo popped a little delectable morsel into your mouth, truffle something or other, and your eyes close in pleasure.

“Mmm!”

“See, so good! And this!” He slid another bite of a shrimp of some kind, and you chew thoughtfully.

“Ooh it’s good too!”

Gojo’s eyes grew impossibly brighter, grinning. “See, and this!”

“Gojo you really love food.” He chuckled, popping food into his own mouth, making chewing look sexy somehow.

“I do indeed. Come on, keep that ass nice.” He winked and tried to put more food in your mouth, you chuckled and shook your head.

“Let me try my dish silly.” You start to cut up your meal, and fork a bite into his mouth now, which he takes as sensually as a human could.

“Ooh that’s good too!”

You fall into a comfortable silence as you both nibble, sharing bites and sipping on your glasses of wine as the breeze flows, scents of foods filling the air, and the scent of Gojo’s tantalizing cologne. It was easy to be with him, so easy it sort of boggled your mind, a mix of friendship and comfortability. Eventually you all finish and the waitress brings decadent desserts.

“Eat this! Try it, it's better than sex!”

You shook your head with a laugh, and he was forking something sweet between your lips, hand under your chin to catch any crumbs. He wiped the corner of your lips as you chewed, licking the finger. You chewed the delectable treat slowly, moaning as the chocolate melted against your tongue.

“Ooh, it is good. Oof!” He handed you another bite, so sweet and hot in your mouth. “Not better than sex though.”

He grinned wide, blue eyes narrowing. “I must be fucking amazing. Considering you hated sex just last week.”

You felt your cheeks heat, the lingerie rubbing against your skin making you ache in places as you thought of him in you. “You won’t hear any shit talking about that aspect of you. Just the other annoying shit.” You started nibbling on a piece of some berry cheesecake confection, he leaned in, opening his mouth. You give him a piece of it, popping it between his lips, and he licks your finger.

“You kinda felt like a virgin honestly.” He mused, softer voice so that it was just between you two, and you nearly choked, sipping on your wine, that had created a delectable head fuzz.

“You can be tight and have had lots of sexual experience. Doesn’t mean anything really.”

“No shit, I know that. I’ve played with a lot of pussies. But no, not what I meant. Like I broke something.”

“Gojo! The fuck! You’re so full of yourself that you think you broke me?” You whisper, and he shrugs, so full of himself that you realize this is still Gojo, as sweet as he’d been you’d gotten confused.

“Well, I just wonder if the boys never hit deep enough. Smaller than these, remember?” He wiggled his fingers at you.

“You’re ridiculous. I mean… I don’t know. If not, wouldn't it have hurt a ton with you then?”

“Didn’t it? At first.”

You paused. Shit. “But that’s because you’re huge.” You peer nervously, making sure you all are out of ear shot.

“Lots of women took this dick fine. You had some trouble. Granted, you are kind of petite there.”

“You probably just want me to have been a virgin so I complete your nun fucking fantasy.” You pointed a fork at him and he tried to look innocent.

“You really basically were. Never been eaten out, no blow jobs… do you even remember having sex with the small dick college dudes?”

You frown, sighing. “Not really no… As I said it was just twice and both times I was not sober, but bits and pieces. I know it happened. Condoms.”

“Ah…” He paused, then studied you. “We didn’t use one, hmm.”

You paused as well. “Huh. We didn’t. Well, I’m on birth control though, so we don’t have to… especially if you mean to be exclusive. If you don’t want to use them. Gojo is this the best place for this convo?”

He quit eating for a few, hand back on your thigh. “Sure it is. Fuck, the thought of you pregnant is kinda hot though. Maybe go off it.”

Your mouth opened in shock, then you felt yourself heat up, probably red as the jacket you wore, tucking your hair behind your ear. “Satoru! No, what the…”

“Mmm it is though.” His hand went to your tummy, splaying over it, leaned over you so close you were sure you two looked scandalous. But you craved his touch. “I wonder if I put enough cum in you if I can fuck through the birth control then?” His words were slow, deliberate, nearly a silent purr out of his lips and fuck… they did shit to you. A lot of shit.

“Jesus…” You feel your thighs shift, and he notices it, movements like a hawk. “Is this a kink thing again?”

He let out a low chuckle. “You could definitely say that. I think you may be a little interested in it by that response.”

You bite your lip against the thoughts that flow through your head, imagining him cumming in you, over and over, until… God you all were in public, what were you…

“Mind going wild?” He taunted you. You had no energy to lie, simply parting your lips a bit and sighing, as his hand pressed into your tummy, hot and firm. “Thinking of me filling you up here?” His lips caressed your temple as he bent low and murmured those dirty thoughts you shared.

You let out a little cry and then covered your mouth quickly, but he heard it, and the mood changed suddenly.

“Say it.” His hand pressed more, slipping under the coat you still wore deftly, thumb splaying down past your navel. “You could feel me here, couldn’t you?” You nod weakly. “Can’t use your words?”

“Mmm.” You cover your mouth once more, aching against the plush seat, unable to stop your reaction as friction started against your pussy. Gojo looks like he’s won the fucking lottery.

“Wanna go?” He asked, and you nodded.

You two asked the waitress for cases, and packed up food for later, you with trembling hands, and him with calm and sure ones, heading down the elevator until you were out in the night air, where Kiyotaka waited with the large black car. Gojo opens the door for you, and you two slide in the back seats, and it doesn’t take until the door is shut for him to start to unbutton your jacket.

Your head tilts back a bit, and he’s kissing your exposed neck, deft fingers undoing the buttons swiftly, until he opened it up fully and sat back, drinking your body in. His eyes grew hooded, full lips parted, his nostrils just slightly flaring before his hands eased the coat off your shoulders, just bunched up on your arms now, pooling behind you.

You were so beautiful, your lush breasts cupped by this lace, chains glittering against your smooth skin, exposed in little areas, concealed in others, enticing Gojo like nothing he had ever seen. You gaze up at him with desire in your eyes, your lower lip being bit by your teeth, brow just a little worried, as if you were nervous. But how could you be, when you were so perfect to him?

Gojo struggled to keep a steady touch, not to show how much you fucked him up mentally, what you did to him. You were his fantasy, and here you were, in something he’d dreamed of for a couple of years now. He got to watch you fall apart, show your true nature, embracing your desires, let go.

Even his dreams didn’t live up to you, however, his eyes were drinking every inch of your curves… sinful how good you look, soft, your skin silky, feelings written all over your face. You were leaving him wanting to kiss every inch… simultaneously driving him crazy as he pictured so many ways to have you.

Gojo was just sitting there, his eyes devouring you in your lingerie, not even touching you, and you shifted, pussy aching and insatiable for him, wanting some kind of friction. You craved his lips on you in the worst ways. Wanted more of that cock that had been inside of you only one time so far, but was now something you were desperate for again.

Big hands gripped your thighs, spreading them just a bit to see that you wore those crotchless panties, that your glistening pussy was bare to him. He groaned, then kissed you deeply, pushing you down into the back seat, tasting like the sweet treats he’d eaten and just… him. Gojo.

“Fuck, you’re perfect.” He whispered, and instinctively you wanted to shake your head, but he held your face, hard. “Nuh uh. No denying it. Got me?”

You nod then. “Thank you, Satoru.” You say instead, and his lips join yours once more, hard long body pressing on top of you, making your hips arch up and wiggle for more contact. His finger is quick to find your glistening folds, swirling your wetness around your already throbbing clit. You cry out, but he drinks your cries, going in aching slow circles.

“Fuck. I wanna do this in my bed.” He mumbled, and you gave a little breathless laugh, kissing his neck, tasting the little saltiness of his sweat.

“I hope you did clean your sheets after snorting coke on Erica’s ass.”

“Pshh, I really didn’t fuck her. God you’re jealous and don’t even date me yet, another hint you want it?”

“Am not! And I…”

“The sheets are clean as fuck. But we’ll probably be ruining them.” He eased off you, closing the jacket up loosely. “We’ll be home soon.”

You all get into Gojo’s house and it’s mere seconds before your coat is gone, leaving you looking obscenely sexual in lace and chains. He rubs his large hands greedily down your body, leaving each area in a trail of goosebumps on your skin, until he hits the thigh high boots, raising a brow.

“Ooh, I really fucking like these.”

“Yeah?” You tease, hands on his shirt, unbuttoning them slowly, pop pop they went until a large sliver of his chest and abdomen revealed themselves. His smooth pale skin was taut over each muscle and groove.

“Yeah.” He bent down, a breath away from where you were exposed, unzipping your boots slowly. “Steady yourself on me.” You did as he said, holding on to his bare shoulders as he lifted each leg. There was something ridiculously sensual about Gojo taking off your shoes…

He pushed you gently, until you were against the wall, and raised one of your legs over his shoulder kissing up your thigh and peeking up at you with that breathtaking azure gaze. Your heart stopped, breathing erratic, hands shaky on his strong shoulders. “May I?”

“You don’t have to ask.” You watched his reaction to those words, and stared down as the tip of his tongue slid up your aching slit, eyes not leaving yours, making you even more sensitive. “Ah! Fuck…”

You cried out and Gojo slid his tongue up and down again, tasting you, before his thumbs parted your lips to open the area to your clit, and he was flicking his tongue, fast. You lean back on the wall with your head, eyes fluttering shut, and Gojo was worshiping you on his knees.

Your hips were shoving forward for more of his wicked tongue, that seemed to know you even better now. He knew the pressure he needed, the pace, it was insane and heady. As he shoved his tongue in further, humming on your clit as he sucked it into his mouth, you started screaming.

“Satoru! Unh… yes… I … ah!” You fell apart all over him, your mind and body shattering from pleasure, shivering as it flowed through you, and he was drinking your wetness more and more, riding out your orgasm with his moans.

He eases up, and has to hold you, for your knees did not even want to function, before kissing you, deeply. “You taste so fucking good, baby girl.”

“Mnh… th-thanks.” You can hardly speak. He grins against your lips, then snatches you up, your legs around his waist, and he’s walking you through the house, opening the door of his room deftly, laying you down on his black soft comforter. His bed is so soft you feel your tense body aching.

“I don’t even want to take this off of you, but I need these out.” He mused, and sighed as he did so, unsnapping off your bra with ease. He also slid off your panties, but he paused on the stockings. “Hmm. Let’s keep these on. And this.” He fingered your chain. You nod eagerly, making him laugh. “Can’t find words, baby girl?”

You gulp, licking your lips. “Orgasm brain, remember?”

“Is that all it is? Not the talk earlier about me fucking a baby into you at the restaurant?” He yanked on the chain you wore, pressing it into your soft skin.

You gasp then, eyes wide, and his are sparkling, glittery blue, fucking wicked demon that he literally was. Your mind whirls, your eyes darting away, before being brought back by a firm hand on your chin. The scent of Gojo is everywhere in this room, clean and woodsy and so fucking addictive. It fills you, as does his breath, his touch, those words.

You lick your lips, peeking up at him through lowered lashes. “I want you to fill me up, Satoru.”

That came out of your mouth?

His body tensed over you, he had his pants off, and he shoved into you in one hard thrust suddenly, shocking you, filling you to the brim. So different from his ease inch by inch yesterday, but God it felt deliciously good, that cock stretching the tight cunt of yours. So deep it was damn near in your tummy he spoke of.

Gojo lifted your legs up over his elbows, shoving deeper. You cry out loudly and he's holding your face with two hands then, pausing,and he is so deep it's insane to handle. Wriggling under him trying to relax your muscles, but your pussy just throbs around the invasion and stays tight. Gojos hair falls over his brow as he states down at you.

“You okay?” He asks it through gritted teeth. You nod, sighing as you hold on to his strong arms. Even being a little rougher he clearly cared for your comfort.

“Good. Good.” You haven't been able to speak sensible words most of the evening. That really wasn't like you but Gojo's cock was now in the equation. He smiles above you, and pulls out to shove back in.

“How flexible are you?” The question made you worry what was next, and before you could answer, he had your legs all the way up, pressing them hard against your body. “You'll take my cum better this way.”

Gojo began to pump, hard and fast, but not fully in thank God, the friction and rhythm way too much, making your already sensitive cunt hit its peak quickly, and then you're cumming all over his hardness. He hisses, easing back and pushing deeper as your body becomes lubricated from your release. You moan into inviting lips.

“You feel so-so-so good, Satoru. So… so… mmm.” You were feeling yourself start to fall apart again as he fucked you deeper, making you ache, his eyes glittering as they watched your every expression.

“You feel so fucking good wrapped around this cock. Is this what you wanted all day, baby?” You nod weakly, and soon he eased up on your legs just a bit, yanking your choker off, air hitting the bruise.

Your screams echo the room as he bites hard on already sore flesh, tearing into the bruise as he fucks and fucks you harder, the slaps of his skin against yours loud. His balls are smacking against your ass, his pelvis against yours as he sinks deeper. Your head lolls to the side, fingernails digging into his perfect skin, leaving marks. Your body is taut, tense, as you feel another peak start to rise.

“You cum so easy for me, don't you little brat?” He demanded above you, breath making your throat burn from the new bite. “Look at me.”

You turn your sore neck, and he's kissing you again, sloppy, tongues sliding against each other, his saliva dripping into your mouth. He is moaning his own pleasure into your lips. Gojo yanks your body, sliding it down so he becomes impossibly deeper, now going in and out with ease. The noise of your wetness mixes with the sensation of it dripping out of you and around him.

“Use your words. You want me to fuck a baby in here. Don't you.” His hand presses to your tummy, and he grins, white and devilish above you. “I can feel my dick fucking your guts up.”

“I want you to. Unh. Please please please.” You had no shame anymore, head falling back into the soft bed as he now was fucking the shit out of you, using your body to yank you further onto his cock.

“You're so hungry for this cum, are you?” You nod, gasping for breath then when he reaches a hand down and finds your puffy lips, your little clit, rough thumb rubbing. You begin to shatter, everything fading but Gojo. “Say. It.”

The thrusts became even more intense, your over sensitive clit being played as your insides were jumbled by his cock. You gasp for any sense of self, mind whirling, your body on fire, tensing, muscles taut, but everything is just him. Satoru.

“I am. Fuck! Ugh. I want your cum so deep in me.” Your words made him shut his eyes, forehead resting on yours for a moment, you could feel him shaking.

“Do you, fucking cum hungry slut? Want it all in this tight fucking pussy?” He growled the words, and you should've hated them, but God you loved it. You'd be his slut. Goddammit. Especially as he started hitting that spot so deep only he could find it in you, making you see stars.

“I want it. I need it. In me deep, please-please. Ah!” The play became too much and you started cumming once more, nails digging into his back as you hang on for dear life while he rails you through your orgasm, heightening it.

Gojo hisses as your cunt is pulsing around him now, his hand easing off your slickness, to press against the bed next to you, leaning up his body and altering the position inside of you, rubbing against your walls. “Milking me with that little cunt for all of this cum, aren’t you?”

You just nod, wordless, breathless, each stroke making you oversensitive now. “Please, Satoru, please.”

He groaned over you, slowing, fucking erratically now, so tense. “Want me to put a baby in you?” He hissed the words through his teeth, brow furrowed, eyes bright and mad. “Fucking breed you?”

“Yes yes yes. Put a baby in me. Yours. Mnh yes.” He fell apart over you, with shaky groans, rhythm jerky. His arms are digging into the soft backs of your thighs, and you could feel his hot cum shooting in your tight hole, so deep. You felt yourself coming when he pressed against your cervix, bottoming out, pushing the cum further in.

“Take it all. Every fucking drop.” He throbbed in you as you did around him, sucking in all his cum, which was leaking out of you as it mixed with your own. You relaxed your body, gasping for air, and he eased your sore legs down, pulling out, and you trembled, his cum sliding out of your pussy down your inner thigh.

“Fuck.” You sat up just a bit on your elbows, panting heavily, and then he pulled off to look down at the mess he'd made, smiling like the devil.

“You took me so good, little nun.” He shocked you, playing with his cum that had fallen and shoving it back into you, hurting sensitive flesh with long fingers. His gaze was wild, and it intimidated you then, so powerful and fucking insane, eyes all dilated. “Don't waste all this cum, now sweetheart, take it all.”

“Satoru… I… I can’t…”

“All of it. Like a good girl.” Gojo shoved in more, and you felt tears prick your eyes, overstimulation taking hold from coming so hard so much. “Aww, you're so pretty crying and dripping with my cum.”

“Ugh. Fuck you, jerk.” He laughed, easing off you then just to lick on your sore neck, torturous. You hissed. “Fucking vampire!”

“You can run that mouth again, should I fill you up with more cum until you can't fucking speak?” You moaned, and he kissed down your breasts. “You are already so eager for more. My nun is becoming my little slut.”

“Can't… cant…. hurts. Too much, too much.” You shook when he sucked on one of your nipples, fingers shoving into you one more time, making you cry.

“Giving up, are we? Tsk tsk. Fine. I love looking at you like this, though.” Gojo shoved those long fingers into your mouth then, and you were sucking both of your come off them, tasting both of you, so deep it made your tears flow out more down your cheeks, pleasure, overwhelming, pain, so consumed. “So pretty, baby.”

You felt hot sticky tears fall to your lips, salty tasting along with the come, and you saw him gaze down as if he owned you. Maybe he did. Your brain didn't work anymore, as if his cock had truly scrambled it.

“Satoru… I…”

He finally slid off you, laughing at you now. “You're such a mess. Poor baby girl is in tears. Can't talk again? Did I fuck your smart little head up.” He kissed your forehead sweetly, a complete contradiction to his words.

“Ugh. Never mind. You're such a dick!” He laughed again, pulling you against him and hugging you.

“Now I have to know. What were you gonna say?”

“Fuck it, no.” You felt him wiping tears away, frowning now. He touched your chin gently.

“Hey, was all that too much?” His words were soft now, deep voice so caring it couldn't match a moment ago, caressing your face. “If you ever don’t like anything just tell me.”

“No, I liked it. A lot. Asshole.” He sighed a bit, as if relieved. “I just really am… I really… l…”

“Really love my dick?”

“Stop cutting me off!” He put a hand to his mouth trying to appear innocent. “Conceited ass.” You roll your eyes. “I… ugh I guess I just feel a lot for you.” You looked away, so embarrassed. He would probably taunt you, tease you…

“Yeah, same.” Your eyes met his in shock. He was on one arm studying you very seriously.

“Yeah?” You whisper, and he nods just a bit, tense himself.

“Yeah… although that's been a kink of mine, I've never fully acted on it.” Gojo's cheeks dusted with pink.

“Oh?” He nodded.

“I guess no one has made me want to put a baby in them so bad. Drove me a little crazy there for a bit.” His half cooked smile was sort of shy, a side you never saw of him.

“I drove you crazy hmm?” He nods. You feel way too warm inside at the thought. “Sometimes, you're really sweet, you know.” You caress his soft skin on his face, kissing his forehead. He closes his eyes with a sigh.

“I feel… Things too. Shit, this isn't normal even for good sex. The connection is… I…” Your heart thudded, body weak to fight anything, mind askew. He cleared his throat then, smirking. “You didn't even try to deny any of it tonight, no fight left huh. Just please Satoru, please!”

You scowl and smack him hard, he grabs your wrist with his wicked grin. “I can't tell if I like, love, or hate you at any given fucking moment. Ugh! You're so annoying! I’ll show you fight!”

He was laughing softer now, pulling you against his chest, warm against your face. “I kind of know the feeling, you're such a bitch. Then sometimes you’re my sweet, little cum hungry brat. Ah ah no more hitting. Or I'll smack the fuck out of this.”

His hand gripped your pussy and you squeaked. “No no no.”

“We will have to get working on that stamina of yours, little virgin nun.” You scowl up at him. “I’d like to fuck more than once in a day but no ‘I hurt Satoru, no no!’”

“Hate it is.” He grinned against your hair, snuggling you. “I took it way better this time, I am not a nun.”

“Fuck yes you did.” Another kiss. Another fall deeper into love you went for this shithead. Fucking Gojo. “Let me take care of you… That was a lot, hmm?” You nod shyly into his chest. “Want a bath?”

You moan. “Ooh yes please. I haven't had one in forever. Just have the stand up shower.” It sounds heavenly

“I'll get you one started. And some ice for that neck.” He kisses you once more, hopping off the bed. “Be right back.”

You finally peek around the bedroom, breathing in and out a bit, your entire body was aching from his touches, from his cock, his hands… his teeth. You hiss in pain when you touch it, hearing the water running from the bathroom. His room is all in blacks and dark blues, elegant modern furniture, nothing too extravagant, but still looked sleek and expensive.

The bed you’d been positively railed on was a dark wood four post bed, high, thick and plush. So comfy your body wanted to just fall asleep in it. Your fingers ran over the cover, soft under your palms. Gojo came back, stark naked, and you felt yourself hurt from how gorgeous he really was, every inch of him so chiseled.

“You’re so…”

“Perfect?” He wiggles his brows, batting his spiky lashes. You shake your head at him as he sits next to you.

“Yeah.”

His eyes widened. “Really? Not a conceited shit?”

“That too.”

“Mmm, there’s my girl. I like how mean you are.” He gently kissed your neck where he’d been annihilating you over and over. You shiver, then he brought a cool little napkin against it. You moan.

“Oof, that feels good.” The cool ice feels so good you lean into it. He hands it to you, and you press it against your neck, as his fingers go down to your chain, gently unclasping it and then working on your garters. He peppered little kisses down your legs as he did so. “A girl could get used to this.” You mused.

“You’re awfully lucky. I’m Gojo Satoru and here I am, at your feet all the time.” He kissed your ankle then. You flush. “Blushing all over.”

“I do like you on your knees.”

“Oh fuck, dom much?” You shook your head, biting your lip, sitting there completely naked in front of him.

“Dom… Dominant?”

“That’s it. Look at you learning.” A fingertip taps the tip of your nose super condescendingly.

“You kinda are a dom though? Right?”

“I am. But I’d switch it up if you wanted.” He stood, and pulled you up.

“Me dominate you?” It was hard to imagine. He grinned.

“It’s not my thing really, but then again, I love when you’re so mean. Maybe I’d try it once. Let you fuck your frustrations on me.” Heat pooled embarrassingly in your lower tummy all over again.

“I should try on top some time though, yeah?” You ask, a little nervous for some reason. “What if I suck up there, though?”

He chuckled, bending down and popping a kiss on your head. “You won’t suck at all. We’ll try it next. Come on.”

Gojo guided you to his bathroom, which was bigger than your own bedroom, easy. Gorgeous tile, cream marble, an enclosed glass shower on the left and a giant claw tub on the right, pretty granite counters with two sinks and a lit mirror. The tub was filled with bubbles, and he bent down to shut the water off.

“It’s beautiful here. I haven’t ever seen your bathroom. Weird.”

“Come get in, princess.” He held out a hand, and you took it, easing your aching body into the tub. You suck in a breath as the hot soapy water hits you, sitting and sinking in, sighing, leaning your head back in bliss. “Never thought I’d have you in my tub.”

“Never thought I’d be in it.”

“You like?”

“Very much so. Thank you.” You peek up at him, and he is studying you, gently running his hand against your hair.

“Want me to wash your hair again?” You nod, shyly. “You’re so shy about silly things but I push cum in you and you’re good.”

“I’m just… in the moment I guess. Get in here.” You tug on his hand.

“I was gonna pamper you. From here.”

“Mmm, no, get in.” He sighs with a grin, standing, cock still huge even though it was not hard at full force at the moment. He comes to sit behind you, water rising, fragrant bubbles brushing over your breasts, his hard body against you. He eases your back against his chest, kissing your cheek.

“Such a demanding brat all the time.”

“Maybe I am.” You sigh in bliss, the water gently waving as he adjusted against you, growing hard again, you between his thighs. “Yep I love this.”

“Good.” He turned your face towards his with his hand, bringing your lips together, a hand trailing errantly up and around the peak of your breast. Both came to cup them, then, and you let out a little whimper. “How’s that stamina tonight, champ?” He teased your nipples with his deft fingers then, gently twisting them a bit, eliciting a gasp.

“You so doubt me, huh?”

You turned, thighs on either side of his lap now, bringing your pussy against his hard cock, your hands on his chest. He groaned, blue eyes sultry as they studied you, hands on your hips. You lean down and take his cock in your hand, placing it at your entrance, and his eyes flutter shut for a moment, cheeks puffing as he exhales, making you feel bold.

“Fuck you’re hot.” He murmured, pulling you against him, water splashing against you two, his thick tip stretching your puffy lips apart, making you tremble when it slid into your entrance just a bit. He halted you. “Hey, hey, let me work her up.”

“I can take it.” He raised a brow with a smirk, and you ease down on him, inch by inch, going up a bit to ease down more every time. Gojo’s jaw clenched, his grip tightened, two little lines between his brows.

He cried your name out when you sat down on him fully, and hearing it moaned from his lips was nearly your undoing. You shake as you hold on to him, fully sheathed in you, stretching tight aching muscles in your pussy. You shift a bit, and he hits something inside, and then you’re rolling your hips, hitting it again and again, starting to come already.

“Fuck, baby girl. Mmm.” He guided your hips, and you were thankful, so clueless up there on top of this beautiful person. His white hair was dripping wet in places, lips glistening from your kisses. You fumbled a bit, unsure of what to do, as if reading you, he pressed up against your cervix, making you throb, wetness and heat inside of you and around you.

“Like this?” You ask hesitantly, sliding up and then back down at an angle, he gripped hard, nodding.

“Do what feels good.” He took a peak of your breast into his mouth, sucking gently, and you began to listen to your body, to the sensations, riding him in the tub, both of you quickly finding pleasure heightened between you. Your legs start to ache, and then he picked you up and started fucking you.

“Mmm, I can do it.” You pout and he smirks under you, water sloshing all over your bodies.

“Let me use you like my little fuck doll. Yeah?” His words hit you hard.

“Yeah.” You managed to whisper, and soon he was using you just like one, making you come hard as he used your body to pound up into, and he continued on, until you both were drowning in your desire.

You were drying your hair with a fluffy blue towel, wearing one of Gojo’s super expensive dress shirts and nothing else, peeking over at him as he slid on a pair of black boxers and a soft gray tee shirt.

“So, would I ever be able to snort coke off your perfect tits? Hypothetically.” You started laughing at the random question. “Or ass maybe.”

“Nah I’m not Erica.”

He rolled his eyes. “Fuck off with that. I literally got drunk and high and just bitched about you leaving the whole time.”

“Aww, that’s actually cute. Kind of. Minus the snorting coke off her ass thing.” You pecked his lips then, and he exhaled, pulling you against him. “I don't like that shit.”

“I know. Haven't even done any since… since whatever the fuck we’ve been all week.”

You smile at that. What were you two? “It’s not my place to say not to, we’re like not together officially, are we?”

He frowned. “What do you call this then?”

“I don’t know… what do you call it?” He kissed you gently.

“Let’s start with this. You’re mine. Okay?” You tremble at his words. All you can do is nod. He groans, inhaling your scent and bending low over you. “You look so hot in my shirt.”

“It’s so comfy too!” You do a little shimmy and he chuckles, kissing you deeper and deeper. “Let's go to bed. We have to work tomorrow and shit.”

“Ugh fuck work.”

“We can work on the speech tomorrow night after?”

“You just want more of my dick, little slut.” You shove at him and he tackles you down to the bed. “I will try not to do much coke then, if it upsets you, by the way.”

You brush his hair back, soft from your bath, silky, studying him. “It does but like I said it’s not my place. I know it’s not like something you do in excess. Maybe I am the uptight stuck up bitch.”

“Oh you definitely are. One day I'll snort a line off you.”

“Oh fuck no you won’t.”

“So boring.”

“Boring? I just rode you in your bath, fucker.” You glare up at him. He sighs, pecking little kisses all over you.

“It was fucking amazing.”

“Yeah?”

“Mmhmm. Sleep, huh? Also boring.” He pouted and rolled his eyes. You shook your head and giggled.

“I’m sleepy, Satoru. You’re the best snuggler aren’t you?”

He preened at that like a peacock. “Fucking bet I am.”

“Then let’s cuddle.” Gojo slid under the covers with you, asking his device to turn off the lights, and you were in his arms. You ached to just tell him how you felt, but you were terrified to ruin shit before it started. Gojo kisses your head, gently wrapping an arm around you, spooning you. You felt so safe in his arms.

“Satoru?”

“Mmhmm?”

“Thank you for the date. It was perfect.” You could feel his smile against you then, as he pulled you tighter, the sounds only the clicking of the clock, the crickets outside and the two of you breathing.

“Even though the waitress was so dick hungry?”

You sighed. “I can’t blame her. You’re pretty hot, you know.”

“I do.” You felt him pull you tighter. “But you’re mine. So I’m yours. You could fist fight a bitch I bet.”

Yours. Mine. The words echo in your mind.

“Oh my god! No, I will not even.”

“So boring.”

“Shut it. Just kiss me goodnight.”

Gojo leaned over, and you saw his bright eyes even in the dark room, with the moonlight streaming throughout the thick black curtains of his room illuminating them. He kissed you softly, but firmly, impossibly igniting more desire and more feelings with every breath, before kissing your head and letting you turn back around against him.

You were pretty fucked.

How would work go?

Would he rail you on his desk?

Shit.

“Sweet dreams, baby girl.” He said with another kiss on your head, brushing your hair back gently. You kissed the hand that was playing with your hair, holding on to his arms that wrapped you tight.

“Sweet dreams, Satoru.”

Chapter 9

Ao3 Chap:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/55424137/chapters/141807505

#gojo satoru #gojo x reader #jjk gojo #gojo smut #gojou satoru x reader #gojo saturo #jujutsu gojo #gojo jjk #satoru x reader #jujutsu kaisen #jjk satoru #satoru x you #satoru x y/n #jjk x reader #jjk smut

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sexy-monster-fucker · 4 days ago

Text

You Could Love Me If I Knew How to Lie

Dr. Gregory House x Doctor!Reader

Story Synopsis: Reader is a Doctor alongside House. They have known each other for years, mostly been dancing around being intimate with one another. Even though it is painfully obvious to their close friend, Wilson. After finally allowing their guards to fall, the Reader receives a letter inviting her for her dream position at her dream hospital. She has to make the hard choice of staying or going. angst/smut/nsfw/new relationships/minor fluff/typical hospital talk/situationship/

Part 2/Summary: Day after Reader’s night with House prematurely ended, she comes in to work not realizing House has practically declared war with her. [Reader is a Pediatric Neurologist]

CW: mentions of blue balls, bit of angst, house is a complete asshole, mentions of house’s scar,

[Part 1] <- -> [Part 3/Coming Soon]

a/n: I just know House is the most petty muff whenever he is upset, and honestly there is no excuse for how he acts in this. this is just who he is.

title track 🎶🩶

~~~

“Heard you got paged in pretty late last night… early this morning?” Wilson questioned as you watched the floors of the elevator click by.

You nodded, bags under your eyes a little darker than normal. Still stretching yourself awake. Regret of not staying with House last night heavy on your mind. By the time you got home and in bed, you barely got an hour and thirty minutes of sleep before your alarm went off. You could have always ran to some cheap department store and bought a bra. Slept on the sofa in House’s office.

“Everything okay with your patient?”

“Of course. Honestly, she shouldn’t have even been my patient. But, House was the one that figured that out. So he had to get me here to rub it all in my face,” you exhaled, giving Wilson the knowing look. He smiled, trying not to laugh in your face. Faking sympathy, even though you would not have given him the same treatment had your roles been reversed.

“And what was it?”

“STD. The girl is sixteen, it was the first thing I had them test for. Guess I learned to do it myself,” your shoulders hung half-heartedly defeated.

“Oh, God. He’ll never let you live that down,” Wilson grinned, bumping his elbow into you.

“And I know it,” you smiled. Doors of the elevator opening on your floor. Walking out with Wilson, both of your attention being brought to the huddle of people at the end of the hall. Jumping straight into Doctor mode, rushing assuming there was an incident. Cringing when you both were greeted by House. Bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. Bright blue eyes zeroing in on you specifically.

"Perfect. Two more samples for my little statistic," House beamed as he clasped his cane with both hands in front of him. Leaning forward and directing all the attention of the group onto the two of you.

"That can't be good," Wilson whispered to you through a fake smile. Nodding in agreement as you prepared for whatever nonsense House was about to involve you both in.

"So, tell the class. When was the last time the two of you had sex?"

You choked at the bluntness of the question. Hand coming up to your chest as you were caught off guard. Side-eyeing Wilson. His hands waved off the question presented to you, "We are not going to answer—“

"For some of us, it could have been last night. But somebody was too sweepy," he mocked you. Brows resting heavily against his eyes. Trying his hardest to embarrass and belittle you. Clearly wanting to make an example of you. Frustrated with how the night prior had ended. Your teeth began grinding together behind sealed lips.

Wilson whipped his head to look at you. Eyes widened with concern, "You didn't—?!"

"I did not—" you hissed, not even allowing him to finish the damning question.

Taking a deep breath to remain calm in front of all the interns and residents House had roped into his scheme. Some of them more inquisitive to the game being played than others. Too young and inexperienced to understand the petty actions of House, still believing any Doctor with tenure knew all. Not realizing you all were still human and sometimes you gave into your human urges. Narrowing your eyes in on the older diagnostician. Refusing to let your expression reveal how badly this childish behavior hurt you.

Being reminded why you always tried to stay away from a relationship with House. At the end of it all, he was House. A sad man in chronic pain who used Vicodin and other's misery to make himself feel a little better. Incapable of caring for you the way you desired.

"Okay, since you don't wanna answer that one, we can try this one instead. When you had sex last, did both parties finish? It is customary, but sometimes one, or even both, parties don't get to. That's what my little statistic is about. An epidemic in men known as Blue Balls. Caused when a woman leads a guy on, not letting him have that sweet, sweet relief," House cocked a brow at you. Eyes rolling down your body with his words. Even while mocking you, he could not stop checking you out.

You pinched the skin between your eyebrows. A laugh of shock escaping you. Somehow after all this time, his audacity still surprised you. Your tongue pushed into your cheek as you crossed your arms over your chest.

"Hmm. Not really sure of the scientific side of that. But I can tell you that you and every other boy here have been apart of a different statistic. Fifty-seven precent of women fake their orgasms for their male partners benefit," you walked over to be face-to-face with him, "Something I'm sure Dr. House here has firsthand experience with."

"Alright, everyone. Dr. House is done. Go back to your stations," Wilson dismissed the congregated group. You grabbed House by the arm, throwing him into the nearest vacant examine room. Slamming and locking the door behind you. House stumbled into the room when he mis-stepped with his cane. Firm grip on the bed stabilizing himself. Huffing as he sat up on the bed.

"Good to know you are still such a ray of sunshine when you've had your sleep," he pointed at you with his cane.

You took a moment with your back still to him. Trying to catch your breath before you completely blew up on him. Turning around with your eyebrows arched and shoulders stern, "What the hell was that?"

"Scientific research. Obviously. Didn't you study at Johns Hopkins?" House continued his mockery of you. Tone of sarcasm almost being outweighed by the anger that laced it.

“You’re seriously so petty that you’re willing to compromise our new doctors with some nonsense about blue balls?”

“It is not nonsense! Check mine yourself,” House teased, gesturing towards his zipper.

You scoffed. Eyes practically rolling out of your head. Closing the distance between you as sharp eyes shot into his. Biting back all the mean and hurtful things you wanted to say to him. Finding yourself softening when he smiled at you.

“You’re so pretty when you’re mad,” House said as his eyes squinted up in a smile. Assuming he was undermining you, trying to get the upper hand.

“You’re such an ass,” you growled as you lightly stomped your foot. Face flushing at the compliment. Hand coming up to grab at your head as you tried to compose yourself, “If I’d known getting you turned on would get you like this, I would’ve left before I ever let you kiss me.”

“Right… but you didn’t,” House nodded, eyebrows raising as he looked at you.

“You told me to go home!”

“You yawned in my face!”

“You lied to me about a patient’s well being just so you could get your dick wet,” you bared your teeth at him.

“Ah. Not the patient’s well being. The well being of her mother,” House corrected with his finger wagging in your face.

You could feel your anger about to boil over. Hands shaking at your sides as you white-knuckle gripped your fists. Jaw locked as your eye began to twitch. Blowing air out your nose. Knowing all he wanted was a reaction out of you. Refusing to give it to him.

Deciding on a different strategy. You placed your hands on each of his legs, spreading them so you could stand between them. Hands splaying across his thighs, achingly close to his groin. Fluttering your lashes sensually up at him. Hooded eyes meeting his as your tongue parted your lips momentarily.

House leaned forward, closing the gap between your faces. Nose flicking against the tip of yours. Lips almost touching. Painstakingly close, lips parted preparing to accept the other when you spoke, “House… next time, try picking up one of the local strippers.”

Stopping both your movements. Your hand coming up and giving his cheek a light smack. House leaned back, biting his tongue as the vein on his forehead popped. Growling under his breath with a snort. Baring his bottom teeth to you as his nostrils flared.

You laughed at your victory. Stepping away from him seeing his body stiffen. “You do not play fair,” House complained.

“Awe, Dr. House. Not used to having someone match your game? Stings, doesn’t it?”

Earning yourself a prolonged scoff from him. Cane clicking against the floor as he stood off the bed. Arched eyebrows decorating the lines on his forehead as he stared at you. Mouth sealed shut.

“Want women to like you? Maybe try taking them on a date. Or, hell, just not being such a petty asshole to them. Compliment them from time to time,” you gestured with your hand as you spoke, walking towards the door.

“I told you, you looked pretty when you’re angry,” House snarled, voice still low. Stopping with your hand on the doorknob. Turning on your heel to face him once more. Eyes flat as you looked him up and down. Mind racing with all the things you could say to him. Wanting to smack him, wanting to cuss him out, yet the urge to kiss him still sat inside you. Giving him one final eye roll as you opened the door.

"Well, you do," House said matter-of-factly.

You parted from him, now being late on your rounds. It is very easy to loose track of time in the hospital. Only realizing how much had passed when you felt your stomach growl, reminding you that you did need to eat. Checking your watch and seeing that it was already afternoon. Coming to a natural end on one of your patient's files and deciding to head down to get some food.

Distracted by the other pages you carried in your hand, you bumped into Wilson. Stumbling backwards, but not losing your footing. Exchanging pleasantries. "Where are you headed?" Wilson asked.

"Gonna head down and grab a bite to eat. Wanna come?" you pointed with your thumb. He looked around for a moment, turning back and smiling with a soft 'yeah.' Chit-chatting about your most interesting patients on the stair-walk down. Explaining the trials you were running and how the MRI was turning out to be the worst part for patients. It was a longer than normal procedure. Having to lay in the head-cage while the machine banged and buzzed in your ear was not easy for adults, let alone children. Sitting out in the courtyard when he finally worked up the courage to ask you about the incident from earlier.

"So. Are you going to tell me what happened with you and House?"

You tried to laugh it off, clearly ridden with embarrassment. Taking another bite of your food as you looked out at all the other people sitting outside. Breathing deeply and swallowing the lump that had formed in your throat. "I got a call last night that one of my patient's mother's was distressed. When I got here, I found out that wasn't exactly the case," you sighed with your words.

"And...?"

You pressed your tongue into your cheek. "And I went into his office to confront him. And we... fooled around in his office," you smiled awkwardly. Wilson's jaw hung open. Eyes wider than you had ever seen them.

"Okay, we didn't have sex or anything—"

"But you 'fooled around'?!"

"I know— I KNOW! You and I have talked about it a million times and it's always a bad idea. But things just happened last night. I was sleepy, and he was handsy and I— I don't know what happened, it just did," your voice jumped an octave in defense.

Wilson could not help but laugh at you. Smacking himself in the face before leaning forward to stare awestruck at you. Attempting to force a sentence out, developing into another laugh followed by a heavy sigh.

"What have I done," you winced at the words you had said aloud. Your skin running hot, sweat beading upon your hairline.

"As your friend, and someone who cares about you outside of this hospital, I have to remind you how bad of an idea this is," Wilson steadied his voice. Looking at you with genuine concern compared to the joking nature you had both previously had. The hint of curve on his brows telling you how serious he was being.

You sat silently with his words for a moment. Trying to understand what exactly you were expecting from House. Romanticizing a certain idea of him in your head. Not without cause, of course. When he was good to you, he was good. Able to be more vulnerable with him then you had been with any other person in your life. Remembering the time he had called you to help him when he fell and could not hoist himself up do to the pain. Finding him laying in the floor. Exposed and angry. Pain throbbing in his thigh. That being the first night you had seen the scar. Not acknowledging it, or the fact that you were having to help him at all. Just assisting him to his feet and giving him his cane. Helping wrap a towel around his waist so he did not feel as unprotected. Walking with him to his bedroom. Giving him his pills, knowing he had to be in excruciating pain by now.

Sitting on the edge of the bed beside him. He was laid back in his pillows, hair still damp. Eyes glossy as he stared up at the ceiling, "I know you saw it."

"We don't have to talk about it," you whispered. Reaching out and grabbing his hand in yours. Interlocking fingers with a tight grip. Laying your other hand loosely on top. Examining his large digits. Tracing each vein and bone and scar, learning him. Sparkling, sapphire eyes stared at you. Trying his hardest to read your mind. Denying the tug in his chest at how beautiful you looked in the dimly-lamp-lit bedroom. Ethereal when your eyes faintly met his only for a second.

Recalling how he had sat up and pressed his lips to yours. Almost saying thank you with his action. Hand cupping the side of your face as he tenderly kissed you. Melting into his palm, finding solace in his touch. Guiding you to be laying down beside him. Hand flattening against his chest. Learning the rhythm of his heart. No other words were spoken between you. Simple consolation in one another.

"Whatever version of him you've made up in your head, isn't him. He coul— will hurt you, Y/N. I don't want to see you taken down in his crosshairs," Wilson rested his hand on yours on the table. You stroked your chin as you pondered his words. Nothing new. All things you had already told yourself.

“I know,” you said solemnly. Sitting silently with the newfound tension in the air. Wilson knowing well enough that the likelihood of you taking his advice was slim. You knowing that House would never be who he was in your mind. Watching Wilson get paged and leave you sitting alone. Staring down at the remnants of half eaten food on your tray. Playing out every scenario in your mind. There was none in which you did not get hurt.

Clearing off the table as you headed inside. Focusing back on the loose papers you had carried down with you. Opting to take the stairs. Hoping the adrenaline would get your brain in overdrive. Needing some conclusion on what the correct coarse of action was.

Freezing in your steps when you looked up and saw House standing with the young Dr. Cameron. She was beautiful and young and so very smart. And House liked her. A lot.

And as childish as it was, you saw her as a threat because of that. Pettily wishing she had never been hired by him. You knew better. But it did not change how your mind reacted.

“Ah— Perfect!” House directed his attention to you, “Here’s a good example of a woman directly leaving her prime. Dr. Y/L/N was the hottest piece of meat on the floor when she first started. Now she’s getting aged out by younger, hotter doctors like yourself.”

Stunned by his cruelty. Throat burning as fists balled at your sides. Warding off any tears that dared prick the corners of your eyes. The implication that you were no longer attractive creeped under your skin. Maybe it was the idea that he no longer found you attractive.

Eyes darting to Cameron’s face. Ridden with disgust and discomfort. Realizing they had not even been talking about you before House got his eyes on you. Just making sure he said something audibly enough for you to hear. Conjuring up whatever was meanest in the moment. Whatever he could do to hurt you.

And it did.

“Nice,” you deadpanned, eyes locked into his.

Walking away before he had time to mock the crack in your voice. This was how he was. Using whatever insecurity he could to hurt you when he had already beaten you down. Angry that you had ever convinced yourself he could be different. Embarrassed that you let him hurt you so badly. No one had ever had a hold on you like he did.

You rested your head in your hands at your desk. Hovering above the paperwork. Face hot to the touch. Wondering if he even cared.

Knowing he did not.

Deciding to spend the rest of your day locked away in your office. Getting as much done as possible. Because you would not allow him to ruin this for you.

~~~

[END//Part 2]

// Thank you so much for reading! I’m still very new to the whole House M.D. show, but I am enjoying writing this! I cannot wait to write more for this story. Reblogs and Comments are appreciated. If you want to be tagged in any of my future Fics, or have any requests feel free to let me know! //

{tags}

@houseslollipop ~ @megangovier ~ @iwmflbb ~ @yourgirlcarol ~ @needz1nk ~ @crimin4llyins4ne ~

#house md #dr house x reader #dr gregory house #dr greg house x reader #greg house x reader #hugh laurie #hugh laurie x reader #sexymonsterfics #writing #fanfic #part 2 #greg house #gregory house #james wilson

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naughtyneganjdm · 2 months ago

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Love's Second Chance: A Holiday Reunion - Chapter 22

Summary: Heartbroken by her decision to be alone instead of picking Joel or Negan, Y/N is left miserable. It's obvious to anyone that knows and loves her. In the hopes to make things right Elizabeth tries to work with Joel and her mother so they can all all be happy.

Characters: Joel Miller, the reader (OC), Negan Smith, Elizabeth, etc.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/60501985/chapters/159409516 Warnings: Swearing, Severe Angst, etc.

Notes: Okay, so this is the last chapter. It's long. It probably could have been separated into two chapters, but I was just eager to get it done. Originally this story had three endings, but I decided to combine them into what I thought was a better one. Thanks to anyone that read this. I appreciate anyone who has. Sorry it took so long to get the whole story up, but I did my best!

She hated to admit it, but over the last twenty-four hours Y/N had spent an incredible amount of time in bed depressed an emotional. This was a position so many people probably would have loved to be in. Between two gorgeous men who both wanted to be with her. Yet for her? She was devastated and heart broken. On Christmas, she made what she thought was the right decision to dump both Negan and Joel so to speak. Especially after the whole marriage thing. Both of them expected answers from her and she wasn’t going to choose. She wasn’t going to break either of their hearts and have to deal with the weight of that. The only problem with that decision? It hurt. And it hurt a lot.

After that night, both Joel and Negan attempted to call her. But she ignored them both. Right now, she needed to make it clear how things were going to be. If they couldn’t figure things out together, then she wasn’t going to be with either one. She was sick of them fighting and she refused to hurt either one by making a decision. Having them talk to her would only confuse her again.

It didn’t stop her from thinking about things though. Letting the thoughts linger in her mind. Constantly comparing both Negan and Joel, weighing out the options if she did decide to make a choice. So many feelings and emotions were flooding through her.

There was Joel. The first man she ever loved. Someone she fell in love with at first sight. From the moment she met him, she knew she was head over heels in love with him. They shared a life together. And while that life may have not been perfect, it was a love she knew she would never feel again. They had two children together. They went through things a lot of people never had to experience in their lives. Joel was everything that she knew. Until Negan, Joel was the only man she had ever slept with. The only man she ever had a relationship with. Joel was her everything growing up. Who was she kidding? Joel was her everything until Negan showed up. But that didn’t mean she didn’t love him. She still loved him. More than she probably should have. Joel had broken her heart many times, but her heart never knew how to let go. And it was obvious that Joel still cared for her. He made a lot of mistakes, but she didn’t doubt that he still loved her. There was just so much history there that it was hard not to think about, but it was also hard to not let go of that either. Joel was the father of her children. They had a connection that she would never have with anyone else.

And then there was Negan. The man that had loved her ever since he was a little boy. For him? It was love at first sight. He was loyal and dedicated to her. Desperate to make her endlessly happy. But she was the one that broke his heart when she picked Joel without even acknowledging their history together. Which thinking back on was a lot of history. Joel showed up into her life when she was ten years old. Negan had always been there but left when she was sixteen years old. For the longest time she thought he abandoned her, but it took years for her to realize what really happened. Did he have a dark past? Yes, and there were many layers to Negan. Ones that she knew she had barely just scratched the surface of, but Negan was perfect. Maybe not for other people, but he was for her. She knew that Negan’s love was pure through and through. And deep down, she knew that he wanted what was best for her. Regardless of what her decisions were, even if he didn’t end up happy at the end of the day, Negan was just desperate to be in her life again and to give her everything she had ever wanted.

There were good and bad qualities to both men. There was no denying that. And she knew she loved both of them.

Another thing that kept circling throughout her mind was the job offer that Negan had given her. It was everything that she would have wanted when she was younger. To be important. To travel and see the world. To take photos and have people be interested in the subject that she was covering. America loved their sports and people seemed to really like Negan. Everywhere they went, she saw that. It was a starting ground, but she knew that she would be gone a lot and she didn’t know if she could do that to the children. Especially considering everything she fought for in order to be there for them always. Maybe she never had a lot, but she was always there for her children through the years. She didn’t want that to change. And she didn’t want Joel to be alone either because she knew that he could self-sabotage too. Everyone counted on her so much, would they be able to survive without her?

Then again, there was the idea that Negan brought forth to them. Offering Joel the chance to travel with them too. It really sounded perfect. But there was such a thing as too perfect, she realized that. And she did hear the things that both Peter and Elizabeth said. They didn’t care what they did because they were happy to go wherever they were needed. They just loved their parents and Negan. They wanted them happy.

That was a word that was said a lot during Christmas. The word happy. But right now? She wasn’t happy. She was miserable.

This would have been an easy choice for a lot of people. She was sure of that. Some people would pick Joel. He was the ex-husband. The father of her children. He was hard working. The thing that she was used to. They were always still in each other’s lives. Joel was handsome, strong and fiercely independent.

Other people would have picked Negan. He was the celebrity. He could offer her the life that she always wanted. Make every one of her dreams come true. And around him? She was happier than she had ever been. No one had fought harder to make her happy. He was accepting of her still loving Joel. And he was incredibly sexy, charismatic and loving. Also very truthful with her about everything.

Yet for her, the choice was hard. If she picked Negan to marry, she’d break Joel’s heart. If she picked Joel, she would break Negan’s heart. It didn’t matter if they were a trio together. If she picked one of them, someone would end up hurt. And that’s the last thing she ever wanted. So it only made sense for her to pick neither one. Regardless of how awful it made her feel.

Negan would land on his feet again. Women would desperately fall at his feet. Joel would also eventually figure something out. When they had gotten divorced, it didn’t take long for him to hook up with Tess. Both Joel and Negan were two men that any woman would be lucky to have. It was better to allow them to find happiness elsewhere than to be hurt being stuck in some kind of relationship with her.

In that moment, the sound of a knock on the door pulled her away from her own thoughts with her laying stretched out on the couch in absolute silence. Looking to the door, she really debated getting up at this point. Everything was dark and she was just giving herself time to be alone. Maybe she could pretend that she wasn’t there to begin with.

There it was again, the knock. By the knocking and the lack of barging in, Y/N immediately knew who it was. Getting up from the couch, she let out an uncomfortable breath and headed for the door. Pulling it open, she clung to the doorknob and stared out at Negan who was standing before her looking uneasy.

“Hey,” Negan spoke softly, his dimples very prominent showing just how uneasy he was standing before her. With her not answering his calls or his texts, he knew that she wanted to be left alone. She wouldn’t be happy with him coming over, but he felt like this was needed. Both of them looked awful so this was certainly effecting them both. “I know you don’t want to see me right now and I understand that, but there is something that I have to tell you.”

Pushing the door open further, she stepped in the doorway and stared out at Negan. Not speaking, she let him rock on his feet before pushing his hands into his pockets. In the past she would have let him into the house to sit with her, but she didn’t think she should. Especially since if she spent that time with Negan, it may persuade her into making a different choice.

“Uhm, Dale called me,” Negan started realizing that she was allowing him to talk to her, but she wasn’t saying anything nor was she going to be bringing the conversation into the house. “If I’m going to take the job as coach, they want me to fly out in a few days to where the owner of the team lives to sign a contract with his lawyers.”

“Okay,” she stammered, simply nodding her head. Hearing that had her throat tensing up at the idea of it coming up so suddenly.

“They told me that they also wanted you to come out there and sign your contract if you decided you wanted to take the job,” Negan alerted her, his hazel eyes full of a sadness that there was no doubting. It hurt her to see him like that. “Dale told me if you had certain stipulations that they would probably be willing to work with you. You can take the original contract. You can do the two weeks on and off. It’s up to you. If you want to do the second one, I can team up with the journalist I told you about.”

Listening to him, she didn’t say anything and that seemed to upset him. Negan was stammering, his words uneasy and broken showing that he was uncomfortable still about everything. Having her be so silent about things had Negan even more ill at ease. Reaching inside of his pocket, Negan pulled something out and held it out for her. “This is for you.”

“What is it?” she asked, realizing that Negan’s hand was trembling with him holding it out to her. Accepting whatever it was, she pulled open the envelope to look at what was inside. Seeing that it was a plane ticket for a few days from now, she dropped her arm down at her side and felt overwhelmed. “You already got me a ticket?”

“I just want you to have it no matter what decision you make,” Negan claimed, shoving his hands back into his jacket pockets. Shrugging his shoulders, his lips parted and he went to say something, but instead a broken sound escaped him. “I’m at a loss here and I haven’t been like this in a very long time Y/N. I don’t know what to do.”

“Do what you want to do Negan,” she stressed to him and it had Negan smiling uncomfortably, forcing himself to look away from her. By the way his jaw flexed, she knew that he was despondent and he shook his head.

“I don’t know what I want to do when it comes to the baseball team Y/N,” Negan informed her, his words trembling with his breathing growing louder. Lifting his head, she saw that his eyes were damp eliciting the ache in her chest to grow stronger. “What I want to do is be with you. If you want me to quit the team today, I would. I would give everything up for you. If you want me to take the job, I would. None of this matters without you.”

“You only feel that way because you’re emotional from everything,” she prompted hating to see him so upset. What she said had him scoffing and rolling his eyes. Being cold toward him was hard, but she felt like it was the right thing to do. “Your job has been and will always be more important than me. You’re feeling the way you do right now because everything was so new and so fresh. I brought back the feelings you had when you were a child. Eventually, you will find someone else like Lucille and…”

“Bullshit,” Negan interrupted her with a furious breath, his hazel eyes lifting to stare out at her angrily. A single tear slid down his face with him grimacing at the idea. “Stop selling me this stupid bullshit Y/N. You know just as much as I do that I have been in love with you my whole life. Not having you in my life is the worst possible thing that could happen to me.”

“Not having me in your life keeps you from being hurt. I will hurt you,” she reasoned with him, her body now shaking. Holding back on her emotions was not going to happen with Negan so upset before her. “I don’t want to hurt you and I don’t want to hurt Joel. Choosing to live my life the way I did before Christmas is what is best for everyone. Alone. It gives you and Joel the chance to be happy elsewhere without making things complicated.”

“That is the worst possible decision you could make for all three of us and you know that,” Negan stressed to her, shaking his head and sucking in a sharp breath of air. “Just pick Joel then if this is what you are going to do to us. I can handle it. I told you that I’m happy as long as I’m still in your life. I swear I’m okay with the trio.”

“You say that, but when I turned down your proposal,” she paused, shaking her head and letting out a broken breath, “that feeling that we had? That pure, lighthearted feeling was gone. You were devastated and heart broken. Looking at you? I saw right through that fake smile you put on to make me feel better. I kept breaking you down piece by piece. And I don’t want to do that to you anymore.”

“So shattering my heart by doing this makes more sense to you?” Negan hissed out, throwing his hand up in the air showing that he didn’t agree with her comment. “Listen to me, I don’t care if you pick Joel. I don’t care if you don’t want the job. I don’t care if you want the fucking job, but you don’t want me. Or if you want me but not the fucking job. I need you in my life. Do the thing that your heart wants most.”

“My heart truly believes that this is the best option,” she declared, placing both her hands in over the center of her chest, but the more she said it the more upset it was making Negan. Holding out the ticket he had gotten for her, Negan took one step back and shook his head. “You should just keep this Negan.”

“No, you’re not thinking clearly,” Negan emphasized with a grunt, refusing to take back what he had given her. “I think if you really think this whole thing out, you’re going to realize that you are making a mistake. Joel and I were just emotional. Very emotional. And everything will work itself out because we love you. I love you. I love you so fucking much. You have to see that.”

“I don’t question your love Negan,” she refused to let him believe that she thought he didn’t love her. “I just think you deserve something better. I think you and Joel deserve something more than me.”

“Neither one of us want that and you know that,” Negan let out a pained sound, shaking his head once more. “Call Joel. Okay? Neither one of us have to be married to you. We can just be together as a whole. We can talk about the potential of the job together like we should have from the start.”

“It’s a little too late for that, don’t you think?” she wondered with Negan snickering at the thought. “I’m serious Negan.”

“It’s never too late for anything,” Negan contended, biting down on his bottom lip. “As long as you are still alive, nothing is ever too late. Trust me, I’ve learned that more than anyone. Which is why I’m hoping you will give it time to rethink this whole thing. I think together the three of us can come up with something better than whatever it is you are planning right now.”

Lowering her head, she knew that this would be the problem if she spoke to Joel or Negan. It would hurt so incredibly bad to hear something like this, “I won’t take the coaching job if that’s what you want. I just need you to tell me before New Years Day because that’s when the contract has to be signed.”

“Of course it does,” she frowned, a frustrated rumble coming from her throat. Negan didn’t know how to respond to that with her shrugging her shoulders. “I’m just saying, that’s just my luck with everything right now. Needing to have it done so soon.”

Thinking about what he said, she leaned against the doorframe and sighed, “I can’t have you pick me over that job Negan. I saw the way you looked when you were at that stadium. You loved being a baseball player. You’re not ready to give that up. You were sad at the idea.”

“Look at me,” Negan whispered, but she wouldn’t so he stepped in closer to her. “Look at me right now.”

Doing as she was told, she looked at Negan having a lump growing in her throat at the way he looked. His hazel eyes were red, his hair messy and he genuinely looked devastated. Sadder than she had ever seen him.

“When did I look worse?” Negan requested an answer from her, his throat flexing with discomfort. “Then? Or now?”

“Now,” she was honest, a broken breath escaping her throat.

“Throwing me and Joel out of your life is not the way to go. You love both of us too much for that and we love you too much for that,” Negan swore, nodding his head about trying to reason with her with this decision. “I would pick you over anything. Money. Fame. Anything. Because I love you that fucking much. I’d do anything for you. Anything. But asking me to not love you? To not be with you in some fashion? I can’t stop loving you. I never did. And I never will. I’d give up everything for you.”

“I believe you,” she found herself getting emotional about the whole thing with the way that Negan was doing his best not to break down himself. “I can’t ask you to do that though. Because someone who loves you can’t let that happen. You shouldn’t have to give up everything for me.”

“The feeling I have when I’m with you is better than any feeling I’ve had when I walk out there and hear the fans. What I have with you? It’s real. What I have with them? It’s temporary. If I do something wrong, I’m booed. They get pissed at me. I’m their hero as long as I’m winning and doing something right,” Negan described how things were for her to make her understand where he was coming from.

“Sounds like a toxic relationship,” she teased, reaching up to wipe at her eyes. It made Negan half smile and give her a small nod.

“It is,” Negan agreed with her, exhaling loudly. “I love you. I love your family. I love your kids. I’ve grown attached to them.”

“And they’re attached to you,” she assured him with a wink, feeling her chest aching at the sight of Negan doing his best to hold in his emotions, but failing miserably.

“There are options here Y/N,” Negan alerted her, pointing toward the ticket. “That’s just one of them. The best thing for us is to get Joel and have the three of us sit down together, like adults and talk these things out. And if we’re still confused about the job, let’s get Liz and Peter involved. Just cutting me out completely is destroying me.”

“Negan, you know that I love you and I don’t want to lose you from my life,” she knew that to be true and it was the most honest thing she had said to him.

“Then don’t,” Negan stopped her before she could say anything further. “Don’t push me away. Don’t lock me out. I love you and I made a fucking promise to be around from here on out. I won’t go back on my promise. You’re not going to lose me from your life completely. I won’t abandon you again.”

She let out a small whimper when Negan stepped in closer to her. Extending his hand out, he brushed his fingers in over the side of her face and let out a long sigh, “I love you so fucking much.”

“I love you too,” she felt the same way, she knew that deep down she loved him more than she could explain. Lowering down, Negan’s lips hovered over hers for a moment drawing a chill down her spine. She assumed it was him testing to see if she was okay with him kissing her. Bringing their lips together, he let his lips linger in a loving sweep that took her breath away by the time that they separated. Caressing at the side of her face had her leaning into his touch.

“I’m going to give you what you asked of me. Which is time. Because I love and respect you,” Negan peppered a few more faint kisses at her lips. Backstepping slowly, he gave her a weak smile and shrugged his shoulders. “But please think this one out for me. For your family. None of this is the best for anyone.”

“You know there is a lot at stake when it comes to you,” she pointed out, her breathing now tremoring after him kissing her. “If I don’t make my decision in time, you sign that contract and I could lose out on time with you.”

“Then figure out what it is you really want before I have to be on that plane. Because if you don’t talk to me before then, I’m taking the hint that you don’t want me in your life anymore. Which I really hope isn’t the case,” Negan commented with a frown, the vein at his neck slightly bulging when he tensed up. “You know where to find me.”

Stepping back and away from the house, Negan started to make his way back to his car and she wondered if she should have called out to him. Tears were burning at her eyes when she looked down to gaze over the ticket. Negan really was perfect which led her to her final thought she had earlier. She wasn’t good enough for Negan.

Closing the door once Negan pulled out of the driveway, she rest her back against the door. Everything hurt. Every thump of her heart was pronounced and heavy. It felt like the room was spinning around her. Moving back to the couch, she fell on top of it and reached for the throw pillow. Pulling it in over her head she groaned out and wished the world would swallow her whole right now.

----

“Mom?” Elizabeth opened the door to her mother’s home, sticking her head just in enough to look around. It had been a few days since Christmas and she had only really interacted with her mother through text messages. That worried her. After Christmas both her father and her mother weren’t acting normal. So it told her that things didn’t end positively between them. That scared her because her mother wouldn’t usually just let things go like that. At first she couldn’t remember when her mother’s work schedule started back up, so she went there when it was after her mother’s typical work hours. When her eyes finally fell upon her mother, she realized that her mother was wrapped up in blankets sleeping. She looked miserable and like she had been crying, a lot. The television was on, but everything else was entirely black in the home. Moving into the home, she flicked the light on and let out a nervous breath. “Mom!”

Hearing Elizabeth calling out to her had Y/N sitting up swiftly on the couch, pulling her legs in closer to her when she saw Elizabeth moving into the home. Seeing the way her daughter looked at her told her all she needed to know about how she looked. Right now she found herself wishing that Elizabeth would have called her and told her that she was coming over so she could have cleaned herself up a bit, “Hey sweetheart. What are you doing here?”

“I was worried about you,” Elizabeth announced, stepping before the couch that her mother was seated on. Elizabeth looked over her mother before shaking her head. “You look awful mom.”

“I know,” Y/N agreed with her daughter realizing that if anyone else told her that she would have probably been offended by it. But Elizabeth wasn’t wrong. She undoubtedly looked awful and felt worse. Over the last few days she had done everything to avoid both Joel and Negan. No matter how hard they had tried.

“What’s going on?” Elizabeth demanded an answer, moving around the coffee table to sit down on the couch beside her mother. There was a worry flooding throughout her body with her dark eyes locked on her mother. Y/N shifted, lowering the blankets so that they were just wrapped around her lower half. Something on the table caught Elizabeth’s eyes and she reached out to pick it up. Realizing that it was a plane ticket made her throat go dry. “What’s this?”

“It’s a ticket that Negan left for me in case I want to go with him and sign the contract that he offered me,” Y/N confessed to her daughter who looked to the ticket again. Instead of doing anything with it, she had just let it sit in the same spot for days.

“This is for tomorrow,” Elizabeth pointed out, nodding down toward the ticket evoking a long, exaggerated sound to fall from her mother. Forcing herself to look away from the ticket, Y/N looked to the television and Elizabeth shrugged her shoulders. “So what are you doing?”

Avoiding the question, Y/N didn’t want to put the weight of her woes on her daughter’s shoulders. So she was going to choose to stay quiet about things. Lowering her head, Y/N’s breathing was uneven leaving Elizabeth to worry about her mother.

“Mom, I know you’re trying to protect me here, but I’m almost an adult. Let someone listen to you for once,” Elizabeth offered, setting the ticket down. Sliding in beside her mother, Elizabeth wrapped her arms around her mother to comfort her. Elizabeth felt her chest tightening and she felt disappointed in herself that she let her mom suffer like this for a few days alone. “What’s going on mom? Please, tell me.”

“No,” Y/N refused which just upset Elizabeth all the more. “You’re my child, I’m supposed to be strong for you. I can’t do this.”

“Mom,” Elizabeth frowned with Y/N pulling back to wipe at her face. “I’m a big girl. And my whole life you’ve been taking care of me and hiding your feelings. I know that you were miserable after dad divorced you. I heard you crying alone at night. You hid your emotions from me and Peter because you thought you were protecting us and you did. You wanted to keep us still loving dad, but I want you to talk to me because I can tell that you are miserable. So please, just talk to me. What’s going on?”

“Elizabeth,” she went to deny her daughter once more, but Elizabeth gave her a pleading look. “I told both your father and Negan that I didn’t want to be with either of them. And that’s really the best thing I can tell you right now.”

“Why?” Elizabeth was blunt, her face scrunching up in confusion. Going to talk, she stopped and then started again. “Can I please talk to you and have you talk to me like I’m not a baby anymore? Because I’m not stupid mom and I have questions. But in order to talk to you about this, I need you to stop treating me like I’m five. Please.”

Staring out at her daughter, Y/N had a hard time putting down those gates because Elizabeth was her daughter. Her baby. She would always see her as a child, no matter how old she got, “Mom, you three were not very quiet during Christmas. Plus I’m not stupid.”

“I don’t know what you mean,” Y/N suggested with Elizabeth rolling her eyes, her jaw flexing much like Joel’s would when he was frustrated. “I don’t.”

“It doesn’t take a genius to see that you are in a love triangle with dad and Negan,” Elizabeth stated with a firm shake of her head letting out a stressed sound. “And I know the three of you did some things that I won’t tell anybody.”

“Excuse me?” Y/N choked back on her words with Elizabeth tipping her head from side to side. “What does that mean?”

“Mom. I’m seventeen. Dad was furious with Negan up until that trip to New York. Dad would rather kill himself than run on a treadmill. There was a reason that dad was in your bedroom with Negan. And then when the three of you were talking about being together, it all was just confirmed for me,” Elizabeth explained to her mother realizing that she was absolutely mortified hearing that. “Don’t. Don’t make that face. I don’t care who you, dad or Negan has sex with. Sex is a very normal thing. I can’t pretend that you and dad don’t have sex. I know you and dad have sex. A lot. Even when you were divorced. There is this chemistry between the two of you and let’s not forget that I walked in on you and Negan. I don’t have the best luck, but it’s also because I’m not blind nor stupid.”

“All I can say to all that is that I’m sorry,” Y/N didn’t know how to respond because nothing felt like a good enough thing to say to settle Elizabeth’s comments. “I don’t even know what to say about the three of us.”

“You like Negan and dad. Dad likes you and Negan. Negan likes dad and you. It’s not that hard to fucking say,” Elizabeth stressed getting a scoff from Y/N whose eyebrows furrowed with how her daughter was being very dramatic in the way that she said things. “I’m not going to dad about it because something tells me dad thinks I will judge him for being attracted to Negan which neither Peter nor I will be. We’re just not stupid mom. And we don’t care if we have two dads and a mom. It’s better than nothing. Trust me, I’ve seen you and dad. I would know what having no parents does to you.”

“I just don’t know how to respond to this because certain aspects of my life, I shouldn’t be talking about them to you,” Y/N looked for the right thing to say, but Elizabeth turned on the couch and shook her head. “Baby…”

“Okay. Let’s try this…why did you dump both dad and Negan?” Elizabeth stopped her mother from locking onto a negative thought for too long. “You have been crying for days and I know that because I’m a girl and I know what happens to your eyes when you do that. It’s not something you want. I kept hearing about this relationship with the three of you. Why is that not working? Peter nor I care if you three are together. We’re already pretty much used to it. We spent all holiday with the three of you.”

“Again, it’s complicated,” Y/N defended what was going on with Elizabeth throwing her hands up waiting for some kind of answer. “Both your dad and Negan were okay with the three of us being together, but they both wanted me to marry them. One of them wanted to be married to me while the other was promised to us.”

“And that’s bad why?” Elizabeth didn’t seem to understand. “I think that’s the smartest way to do something. That way everyone is involved.”

“It’s not that easy. It’s not publicly acceptable to have that kind of relationship,” Y/N educated her daughter on how the general public were and Elizabeth scoffed.

“Who cares what the public thinks? I don’t know if you noticed, but people suck mom. They are assholes. It’s rare to find a good person. People are perpetually miserable and they want to make everyone else the same. Marry one of them and promise yourselves to the other. Boom. Over. Done. Happy,” Elizabeth made it seem so easy which made Y/N smirk in disbelief. “Why is it so hard? Why dump them?”

“Because if I choose one of them, I’m going to break their hearts and I can’t do that,” Y/N emphasized her words, waving her hand about and it had Elizabeth’s head tipping to the side. By the expression, Y/N knew her daughter thought it was stupid. “It makes sense.”

“Not really,” Elizabeth denied, shaking her head profusely after she took time to consider it. “So you’re afraid that if you choose marrying dad, or marrying Negan, you will break their hearts? So the best option is to avoid both of them? Sob your eyes out. Break your heart. Break dad’s heart. And break Negan’s heart all at once. Because that makes more sense to you?”

“Well when you put it like that,” she realized how stupid it sounded when Elizabeth threw together that statement in a very simple way. “I just don’t think I can pick because I love them both too much to make them feel like I don’t love them enough. I might be a horrible person but I love both your father and Negan a lot.”

“No one doubts that,” Elizabeth assured her with a wrinkle of her nose. “I see the way you look at both of them.”

There was a silence that fell over them and Elizabeth let out an extended sigh, “Moving beyond Negan and dad for a minute. Let’s talk about your job offer.”

“Elizabeth, you’re my daughter,” she reminded Elizabeth with a firm shake of her head. “We shouldn’t be having this conversation.”

“Yes, yes we should,” Elizabeth claimed, brushing her fingers through her long, dark hair. “Both Peter and I told you that we don’t care where we are as long as we are with you. I heard what Negan had to say the other night. Take the job. Do what you always wanted. Allow dad to become a singer like he always wanted. Travel with him. That way, you three get to live your lives together. And on the off seasons, you have your home here.”

“But your lives are here,” she reminded Elizabeth of what she knew to be true.

“Mom, our lives are going to be here regardless. But what do we have here? Really?” Elizabeth rambled off, waving her hand about in the air. “I’m going to be headed to college not far from now. We’ll finish the year here. I’ll be going to college. Peter would love to travel with you guys. Negan could probably hire the best teachers for him if he does the home-schooling route. Peter makes friends everywhere. You know that. You’ve seen that. He’s not going to have any trouble. I’ll be eighteen. I can take care of Peter when you’re not here if you want him to still be in school. And we have Uncle Tommy. Who has always been like a big brother when it came to things. We’re not lost. You and dad have the right to live your dreams. Having us, we’re just an extra added bonus, right? But we want you happy. How does all of that not make sense?”

Staring out at her daughter, Y/N was surprised how easily she came up with all of that, “Here, I can write it down. You can call dad and Negan, you can make it work.”

“Honey,” she hushed Elizabeth who was eager to make everything work itself out. “I hate saying things like this. But I don’t…I don’t feel like I’m good enough for Negan or your father.”

“Now that is fucking stupid,” Elizabeth was straight forward, turning toward her mother with a disappointed expression. “Now I’m not saying you’re dumb, because you’re not. But I am saying that is stupid. That statement. Anyone would be lucky to have you. You’re emotional right now, so you’re not thinking clearly but you are the most supportive person I’ve ever known. And instead of being happy, you’re torturing yourself by letting go of two men you love because you think that their lives would be better without you. Say what you want mom, but I’ve known you my whole life and you’re better than most people I know. So get your shit together.”

Pausing to consider what Elizabeth was saying to her, Y/N couldn’t help but let out a tiny laugh at how straight forward she was being, “I’m sorry mom, but not making is a decision is making a big decision. And I don’t know how you don’t see that.”

Taking a moment to consider her next statement, Elizabeth threw her hands up and shrugged once more, “Mom? Even Peter who is an airhead agrees with me. Don’t make a decision about this job because of us. Any decision you do make? You’re making it for you. Not us. Because we support you. All the way through whatever you decide. But choosing to be miserable because you’re afraid of hurting someone? We won’t be okay with that. And we refuse to take credit for you turning this job away because of us. Because at the end of the day? We said we would do anything to make it work. So please think about that.”

“I think it’s too late for that Elizabeth,” Y/N looked to the time, also considering the last time that she spoke to Negan. “Your father is not talking to me and the last time Negan was here it was really bad. He was really upset. And he asked me to talk to him before he left. I think I’ve already screwed things up enough.”

“Mom, you’re making excuses and I just want you happy,” Elizabeth seemed genuinely upset that her mother wasn’t looking like she was going to make the right decision. “I love you. And I just want you to live the best possible life that you can.”

“You’re so sweet,” Y/N pulled Elizabeth in for a firm hug, appreciating that her daughter turned out to be such a loving person. “If there was one thing me and your dad did right, it was raising you two because you turned out so amazing.”

“Which is why I’m telling you, we want you happy,” Elizabeth repeated her main thought process with her mother, pulling back just enough to look her over. “Mom, I love you. And I’m going to love you whether you’re on the road for work or not. Whether you’re married to dad or married to Negan. I don’t care. As long as you’re happy, that’s all that matters to me.”

“I’m listening,” Y/N appreciated the gesture as it was very sweet. It was everything she would want to hear, but she didn’t know how much it would help as she didn’t know how to feel to begin with. “You and Peter are the best children I could have ever asked for.”

They took a minute to cherish the hug that they shared with Elizabeth’s mind still lingering over that ticket and her mother’s relationship with both Negan and Joel. Pulling back, she considered her next words before speaking up again.

“I still think this whole not making a decision thing and pushing them both away is stupid,” Elizabeth repeated her earlier thoughts to her mother.

“You don’t know everything when it comes to my relationship with your father and Negan,” Y/N was firm in how she said things, letting her daughter know that she never really would. “I’ve done things…”

“Everyone has done something. We’re human. We’re naturally born to have flaws. That’s the point of life. To make mistakes and to learn from them,” Elizabeth commented, waving her hands about to show that she was expressive in what she was saying. The way that Elizabeth was talking reminded her a lot of Joel when they were younger, but it made sense. Elizabeth had her father’s eyes, hair color and dimples. Joel’s genes were strong and that was very obvious in their children. “Life doesn’t come with a set of rules.”

“Wow, that was really good,” Y/N smirked and it had Elizabeth rolling her eyes considering she felt like her mother was still missing the point. “I’m not trying to downplay what you are saying, I’m just impressed that it came from a seventeen-year old’s mouth.”

“Mom, I can tell that you’ve been crying and you’ve been crying a lot,” Elizabeth declared letting her mother know that she wasn’t hiding anything. “What is it you’re crying the most over? Your lack of a future? Maybe never having Negan in your life again? Upsetting dad?”

“I don’t know,” Y/N wished that she knew the answer to that, but she didn’t have one. And that seemed to upset her daughter even more. And while she wished that she had an answer, she knew at the end of the day she was broken hearted. But she didn’t know why.

----

Sitting alone in his work room, Joel hummed along to the music that was playing in the background. Working on some of his finishing touches on the next acoustic guitar he was making on his own, Joel grumbled to himself with the sound of someone walking into his room. Looking back over his shoulder, Joel saw Elizabeth unhurriedly moving in behind him and he offered her a weak smile.

“Hey kiddo,” Joel breathed out, turning back to his work. Knowing that Elizabeth told him she was going over to Y/N’s home, he was curious how Y/N was. After Y/N had dumped both him and Negan, he had buried himself into his work. This new guitar was the thing that he had been focusing on over the last few days to keep himself busy. “How’s your mother?”

“Miserable,” Elizabeth headed over to one of the other chairs in Joel’s work room, spinning in it slightly. Releasing a long, dramatic sigh, she spun back to face Joel when he set down the guitar on the table that was before him and gave her his full attention. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen her this upset. She’s been crying for days and she just doesn’t look very good right now.”

Hearing that had Joel’s face scrunching up, a sense of sadness flooding into his dark eyes. A pain grew at the center of his chest with his shoulders slouching forward, “Crying for days? Why?”

“Because she’s not thinking clearly. She’s so upset with the idea of hurting either you or Negan that she’s decided to pick neither of you and be alone. So she’s devastated because she loves both of you,” Elizabeth educated her father on what was going on with her mother. Hearing that had a broken breath escaping Joel. “I’ve never seen mom like this dad. She usually was better at hiding things when we were younger. We’d hear her crying at night when you two were divorced, but…”

The look over Joel’s face hearing about her crying when he left her had him making an expression that had Elizabeth’s words coming to a halt. Clearly, he felt bad hearing that and that wasn’t exactly her intentions, but maybe he needed to hear it.

“But when I went to go see her today, she was a mess. Eyes swollen from crying. Depressed. Wrapped up in blankets watching sad movies. Lost inside of herself,” Elizabeth rambled on about what she saw with Joel’s dark eyes growing bigger with worry. “I don’t know what’s going to happen to her dad.”

“What did she say?” Joel was curious for more information. Considering she wasn’t answering his calls or his texts, Elizabeth was his only option in getting information about Y/N.

“Negan came to her the other day,” Elizabeth began to explain getting a fire to burn through Joel’s veins. After she asked for them both to leave her alone, Joel wasn’t surprised to hear that. “He brought her a plane ticket. Apparently tomorrow he’s leaving because he has to sign that contract and he wanted her to come with him. Negan asked her to contact him before he left or otherwise he felt like she was telling him that she didn’t want him in her life at all.”

“And what decision is she making?” Joel inquired, his heart kick starting inside of his chest at what he was learning.

“She’s not making a decision at all. She told me that she would rather be alone than have to hurt either you or Negan,” Elizabeth told her father what Y/N had said when she asked her the very same question. “I told her that was the worst decision to make because then that meant she was going to hurt both of you and herself.”

“And what did she say after that?” Joel slurred, slouching forward on the seat, bracing his hands on the front of it and balancing his weight on his palms.

“I can’t make her change her mind. She thinks that if she goes back to the way that things were before Christmas, that everyone will be better off,” Elizabeth recalled what Y/N said to her when these same questions were asked. “She thinks she’s not good enough for either one of you. She thinks that you both deserve better than her.”

“That’s not true,” Joel immediately stated, lifting his right hand to place it over the center of his chest. “She’s better than the both of us combined.”

“I told her that it wasn’t true, but she’s really depressed dad and she thinks very poorly of herself,” Elizabeth stressed to her father feeling sad that she left her mother in the state that she was, not being able to get her mother to change her mind. “You need to do something.”

“What can I do? I’m part of the problem,” Joel decided, his deep southern drawl lingering. There was nothing that he could do in his opinion that could make things better because he was part of the issue as to why she was feeling so bad.

“I don’t know dad, but it hurt seeing her like that,” Elizabeth claimed with a bit of a defeated whimper herself. “Mom has always been the strongest person I’ve known and right now? I’m worried about her dad. I’m really worried about her. She’s making a horrible decision.”

Considering what his daughter was saying, Joel grinded his teeth, “Dad, I don’t understand why the three of you can’t work. You’re not doing this because of us, right?”

“Sorry?” Joel breathed out, his head turning to stare out at Elizabeth. “Ellie?”

“I’m going to tell you what I told mom. Dad, we’re not children anymore. Yes, we will always be your children,” she started, holding her hands up before Joel could correct her on that because she knew that he would. “But we’re not little. And I’m almost eighteen. I’m not blind to things. I know things, even though you and mom tried to hide them from me. Dad, I don’t see what the problem is here with the three of you being together. That’s what should happen. All three of you make each other happy. Right?”

“It’s complicated,” Joel didn’t know what to say and it had Elizabeth dramatically rolling her eyes. “It is.”

“Yeah, I know. Mom said the same thing, but it’s really not that complicated,” Elizabeth fought back, sliding in closer to her dad to get him to look at her. “I think people are too worried about what others think. Pete and me? We don’t care dad. We don’t. We love you. We love mom. We love Negan. If we have all three of you? We’ll be happy. If the public judges you, we won’t care. You always taught me to treat people right. Well I do. I’m a very good person. But I’m smart enough to know that people will suck no matter what you’re doing. They’re miserable. But you and mom should not allow yourselves to be miserable.”

Staying silent, Joel didn’t know what to say and Elizabeth was waiting for him. But when he didn’t? She just kept going, “Gosh. Okay. Do you know that when we were on the New York trip, Negan was the first person other than me or Peter that had you really smiling and laughing? I can’t remember the last time I saw you acting like that. Negan made you happy. You think you hate Negan? Well I think Negan is the best thing that happened to you and mom.”

“You do?” Joel breathed out, a lump developing in his throat when he forced himself to look away from Elizabeth.

“Hey, you’re not all that strange dad,” Elizabeth stammered, outstretching her hand to place it in over Joel’s. “For me? There are some pretty hot girls out there in the world too, you know? You don’t think I haven’t noticed them?”

“Ellie,” Joel grumbled under his breath, the lines in his forehead growing with disgust that his daughter was talking to him like that. “I’m not about to throw back the dude talk with you to gush on who is hot or not.”

“I’m just saying dad. I think maybe I’m like you,” Elizabeth confessed, shrugging her shoulders when she spoke with her eyes misting over. “I find beauty in everyone. I don’t understand what the problem is. If I fell in love with a woman, would you not support me?”

“Of course I would support you Ellie,” Joel stressed to her, his fingers hooking loosely with hers. “I love you. And I just want you happy. I wouldn’t care if you wanted to spend your life with a man or woman.”

“Or how about a man and a woman?” Elizabeth threw the idea out there causing Joel to smirk and shake his head. “Dad, it’s okay to love mom and to love Negan.”

“I don’t…” Joel started but it had Elizabeth’s eyes growing bigger at the way he was so quick to deny it. “I don’t know how I feel about Negan.”

“Fair enough, but there is something there,” Elizabeth confirmed, waiting on Joel to answer. When he gave her a weak nod, she squeezed her fingers tighter around his. “Now suddenly it all makes so much sense.”

“What does?” Joel didn’t know what she was hinting at.

“Why I crushed on Negan so fucking hard,” Elizabeth teased with a weak smile drawing Joel to roll his eyes. “Both of my parents were already head over heels in love with him. So it’s in my blood to be drawn to that man. Thank God I got over it fast.”

“Not fast enough,” Joel scoffed drawing the both of them to laugh at the idea of it. “Ellie, you’re just a kid.”

“Who might understand things better than I think you or mom does,” she interrupted her father’s thoughts, swallowing down hard. “I have some ideas that I think could work for you, mom, Negan…all of us. If you would all just sit down and talk it out with me. They’re good ones. I told mom and she liked it, but she is so down on herself, I think she would need to know that both you and Negan were okay with it too. We can bring Pete and Uncle Tommy. Make it a family thing.”

“Oh boy,” Joel shifted on the chair showing that it was already tense enough.

“It’s good stuff,” she halted him from thinking badly of it. “Stuff that would make everyone happy. And I think all together, everyone is the best option with our family. Just right now, I have to figure out why mom is being like this. The crying. What’s bothering her the most? How can we fix this whole thing and make it all work?”

“I don’t know,” Joel confessed, his eyebrows bouncing up trying to avoid getting emotional with his daughter. “I fucked up.”

“I think everyone did in this situation dad. Not just you. But that’s life,” she pointed out, leaning further back in her chair trying to think of how to make this situation better. “But now that you have the support of your children who know things and don’t care, that makes things better, right? And what you do going forward is more important than what you did before.”

“Yeah,” Joel exhaled loudly, giving his daughter a small nod. “I uh, I should go see your mom.”

“I think that’s a good idea,” she agreed with him, moving forward to step before him. Standing up from his chair, Joel wrapped her up in his arms and held her close. “Dad, I love you. And no matter who you love or how many people you love, you are the best dad I could ever ask for. Nothing could stop me from loving you as much as I do.”

“And I am so incredibly lucky to have you as my daughter,” Joel tipped back, his hand palming down in over the side of his daughter’s face. Yeah, the tears were there now but they were good ones. Emotions running high from the things his daughter said. “You’re the best thing I ever did Ellie. I hope you know that.”

----

Sitting alone in the darkness felt like the best option right now. After all the stresses of the world around her, it was best for Y/N to be alone to herself. There were no distractions and she could just focus on her feelings. Not that it was something that was the best for her. In fact, it was probably really awful for her because all she kept thinking about were all the negative things in her life.

After Elizabeth left, she couldn’t stop thinking about the decisions that she had made that led up to this moment. Leaving her all alone to herself. Sad and miserable while likely breaking the hearts of the two men she loved the most.

Sorrow was eating away at her, but most of all regret. If she wouldn’t have been selfish between both Joel and Negan, she would have never ended up in this position. It was addictive having that feeling of being loved by two men. Especially when they were men like Joel and Negan. There were so many things about the both of them that she loved. That’s why this whole thing was so hard. She would rather walk away with nothing than hurt either one of them.

Multiple times throughout the night she had received calls and texts from Negan that she hadn’t answered. After he gave her the option to meet him at the airport, she didn’t know how to tell him that she didn’t think she was coming.

It took the door being pushed open for her to let out a long exhale, her head turning to the side to see in the darkness that a shadowed figure was stumbling into the house. There was a loud thud followed by a slur of curse words which made her involuntarily laugh. Reaching for the blanket, she covered her head to hide the way she looked for when the lights finally did turn on.

“That serves you right for not knocking…again,” she stammered realizing in that moment just how broken her voice sounded. Likely from all the crying that she had done. “Just because you know where the key is doesn’t mean you should be coming in unannounced.”

“I was worried about you,” Joel’s southern drawl grunted from where he was laid out on the floor. Pushing up onto his hands, Joel got to his knees and realized just how dark it actually was in the house. “Why are you in the pitch black?”

Beneath the blankets, she could hear the light switching on. A moment later, Joel was tugging at the material after he closed the door and she tried to fight him from seeing her. Once the material pulled down, Joel let out a disappointed breath when he saw how miserable she looked.

“What are you doing here?” she questioned, reaching up to wipe at her eyes knowing how bad she had to look right now.

“Our daughter came to talk to me,” Joel explained to her with a long sigh, getting the blanket pulled from her body where he tossed it at the end near her feet. “And I realized that the two of us need to have a talk.”

“I don’t feel like talking,” she explained with a shake of her head, her throat tensing up at the thought of going through another conversation with Joel.

“Too bad,” Joel scoffed, holding his hand out for her to grab.

“What?” she didn’t accept his hand and his brow line furrowed. “Joel, I don’t want to do this right now.”

“We don’t always get to do what we want,” Joel reminded her, holding his hand out further toward her. Accepting his hand in hers, she grunted when he pulled her up from the couch. “Come on.”

“Where are we going?” she frowned, dragging her feet along with Joel leading her over toward the stairs. “I don’t want to go anywhere. I want to stay here.”

“I don’t care,” Joel stressed to her, turning to face her. With his expression he looked grumpy, but not an angry grumpy.

Picking her up in his arms had her gasping out and she hooked her arms around his shoulders when he started to carry her up the stairs, “Joel, what are you doing?”

“I’m making this easier for the both of us,” Joel insisted swiftly getting up the stairs and stopping when he reached the ladder that led to the attic that he had recently finished for her. Setting her back to her feet, Joel tapped the ladder almost demanding her to climb up it. “Don’t make me pick you up again because I will attempt to carry you up this darn thing and we could kill ourselves.”

“Fine,” she huffed starting to move up the ladder in a sluggish fashion. With the lack of sleep, she wasn’t going to be moving very well. After she reached the top, Joel was quick to follow her. Standing near the opening in the floor, she watched as Joel moved over toward the nook and dropped down on top of the cushion that was there. Patting beside him had Y/N sighing loudly. “I don’t think that’s a smart idea.”

“I know you’ve been locked up inside of this house torturing yourself, but tonight is a full moon and the sky is full of stars. So why don’t you get your ass over here, lay down and enjoy the sight of the thing that I worked so hard on for you,” Joel demanded and it made her mutter something under her breath. Thinking it over, she moved across the area and lowered down in beside Joel. When she laid down beside him, they both looked up toward the window that was there so they could look up at the sky. “Why are you doing this to yourself?”

“You know why,” she suggested with a long sigh, her eyes still locked upwards not wanting to look at him in the moment.

“It’s not worth it,” Joel breathed out, hooking his fingers together where he was resting his hands at his lower abdomen. “Ellie told me that you were dumping both of us because you didn’t think you deserved either one of us. That the best decision was letting the two of us go our own ways away from you.”

“I should have known that Elizabeth would tell you everything,” she admitted knowing that when she told Elizabeth everything and opened up to her, it was probably a bad idea.

“And I’m glad she did because she was right. You’re not normally like this,” Joel recalled their past together and even when he broke her, she never truly looked this miserable about things. “I don’t want you to end up like this because of me.”

“It’s not because of you,” she suggested, but it only made Joel scoff again. “It’s not because of you. This is all my fault Joel. I got too caught up in things and I got greedy. I should have just let you and Negan be. I should have never dragged either one of you along.”

“That’s ridiculous,” Joel countered, his face scrunching up at the idea of what she was trying to sell. Tossing his arms back, he curled them behind his head and took time to think things out. “You were happy before I was starting to cause drama for you and Negan. And I stole that from you. When we went to New York, I could see that the two of you were already close and I knew I didn’t have a chance. So I ruffled some feathers, but I never meant for it to go this far.”

Silence followed. Joel looked to her and she looked lost inside of herself. It took a long time for her to even react, but eventually she just closed her eyes and inhaled sharply, “I don’t know what to say Joel.”

“Say what you feel?” Joel wanted her to be honest with him. This whole thing made him feel guilty and he felt like a real asshole about everything. “Y/N, I’ve been thinking about everything since Negan showed up. I can’t remember the last time that you looked as happy as you did than when you were with Negan. And there is only one thing that I keep thinking.”

Still, she said nothing. Which led him to continue his thought process, “You’re miserable at the idea of having to pick because you don’t want to hurt anyone. But by not picking, you’re going to chase off Negan and your life is going to go back to the way it was before Negan showed up.”

“So?” she didn’t realize where he was headed with this.

“So that means that you are miserable because you’re losing Negan,” Joel deducted, his Adam’s apple bouncing in his throat with him letting out an extended sigh. “I’m still going to be here. I’m the father to your children. You aren’t losing me. So it’s not me that you’re miserable and heartbroken about. It’s Negan that you’re heart broken over.”

Once more, she didn’t have an answer. Her eyes just misted over, her throat tensing up and she looked back up at the night sky, “I think you should go to him at the airport tomorrow. I think you should take the job. And I think you should marry him. Everything else? We’ll work out together. The three of us.”

It took a minute for her to react, but when she did she lifted up on her elbow and stared down at Joel, “Come again?”

“It’s what is best for you,” Joel explained lowering his arms and pulling himself up into a seated position. “I think Negan is what is best for you. He makes you happy. He gives you everything that you want in life. And he loves you. So much. The best option here is for you to pick Negan. It’s not like I’m losing out anyways. I still get to be with you and Negan. Most people would love that kind of life.”

“And what about the children?” she wondered knowing that she would be far away from them if she accepted the job.

“Apparently Ellie has ideas that she is willing to explain to all of us,” Joel commented on what his daughter had told him earlier. “You apparently heard it and she said you seemed to like it. So all it takes is us sitting together. You have been putting yourself last for a long time now and I think it’s time that you put yourself first. You deserve that once in a while.”

“And you think that Negan is my way to do that? You think this job is the way to do it?” she was curious as to why he was telling her to go to Negan.

“I do,” Joel admitted with a frown, his shoulders shrugging when he thought about things longer. “I had four years where I could have done the right thing. It took me four years to get my shit together, but by the time I did, I reckon I was too late. Negan, he showed up and in no time he won you over. He was on the right track the whole time. I just kept hurting you. And I’m worried that’s all I’ll keep doing if Negan’s not here. Negan puts me on the straight path, he keeps my head level. Even if he’s a pain in the ass.”

“So you would be okay with me being married to Negan?” she inquired, still having a hard time looking at Joel. But this time she did steal a look and he actually looked pitiful at the idea with his big brown eyes staring out at her. “Joel?”

“I don’t know. I’d love to say yes, but deep down inside of me I’ve always thought you were mine and we were going to spend the rest of our lives together after everything calmed down,” Joel explained and he dropped his head down, his fingers caressing at the back of his neck. “Which makes me an asshole because you should have never had to wait for me to figure my life out. We should have never broken up like we did and that’s on me.”

“Maybe I just wasn’t good enough for you,” she thought aloud and it had Joel groaning out loud in disgust. “Trust me, it’s a thought I’ve had for a long time.”

“You were too good for me and you’re too good for Negan,” Joel stressed that, throwing his hands out in the air. His head bobbed dramatically before he snorted. “Thinking that you’re not good enough for us is a fucking joke and a half.”

“I don’t know Joel, I never felt good enough,” she opened up to him, pulling her legs in closer to her chest. “I never understood why you didn’t like me when we were younger. I tried so hard to get your attention. And then when I had it, I thought I was the luckiest girl in the world because I loved you so much. Then to find out that you really didn’t like me…”

“I loved you,” Joel interrupted her with a firm shake of his head, the lines in his forehead growing at the idea that she didn’t think he cared for her. “I still love you. I love you so fucking much it hurts.”

“Everyone I’ve loved has left me,” she recalled, a broken whimper escaping her lips. “My parents got rid of me the second I decided to keep Elizabeth. When you found something better, you left me. Negan left me when we were younger…”

“It’s not you,” Joel hissed, outstretching his hands to grab a tight hold of hers. “The world around you sucks. Your parents are assholes. I was an asshole and with Negan…”

“I was the asshole,” she finished off for Joel the statement that she felt was true to her heart. “Joel, I don’t deserve Negan. I know that he thinks he loves me and maybe he does. But after what I did to him? I was such a bitch.”

“You were young and blind to your love,” Joel knew that she was talking about how she cheated on him with Joel. “I don’t think you really thought the two of you were dating…”

“But I did,” she thought back on when they were younger. “We did everything together Joel. I knew that he was my boyfriend. And I knew that he loved me so much, but when you came around? I wanted nothing more than to be with you. I saw stars every time you walked into a room. I wanted you so fucking bad that I was willing to break the heart of the person that meant the most to me and took care of me my whole life in order to get you.”

“You were young Y/N. I don’t think you knew what you were doing and I laid it on thick,” Joel tried to give her an excuse, but she let out a broken breath shaking her head slowly. “I knew how you felt about me and I used it to control the situation.”

“But I should have never let it happen,” she noted, thinking back to when they were together as teenagers. “Negan was so romantic with me. And I think he was supposed to be my soulmate. I would have had the perfect life if it was Negan that I hooked up with,” she admitted and it had Joel lowering his head hating to hear that kind of thought process. “But I picked you. I wanted you. When you took me to your bedroom that night, I wanted to have sex with you. I wanted you to be my first. Even if you didn’t lay it on thick, I would have eagerly jumped you. I wanted to please you so bad that you never wanted anyone but me. I of course was a virgin so I didn’t know what I was doing, but…”

“Oh, you knew what you were doing,” Joel interrupted her with a laugh, his nose wrinkling in amusement. “You may have not lost your virginity yet, but what you could do with your mouth and your hands…”

“This always goes south whenever we talk,” she rolled her eyes and shakily brushed her hair back over her shoulders.

“I’m just correcting you on your thought process,” Joel admitted with a laugh, his head shaking from side to side.

“I’m just saying Joel, I’ve been obsessed with you since day one,” she recognized that sounded creepy, but she knew that the moment she met Joel she was hooked. “Negan never had a chance once you were in my life. And what I did to him really was unforgiveable.”

“He met Lucille and he thinks that was the way things were meant to happen,” Joel knew that Negan really never blamed her for that. “You know that.”

“He would say anything to make me feel better about myself because that’s what Negan does,” she realized how things were with her relationship with Negan. “I’ve broken his heart more times than I care to admit and every time he is so willing to forgive me. And I don’t deserve it.”

“Can I ask you something?” Joel replied back, hearing her trembling in her breathing. “Why is it okay that I broke your heart, but it’s not okay that you broke his?”

“What do you mean?” she didn’t have an answer for him because she didn’t understand.

“I mean, you are constantly saying that Negan and I deserve better,” Joel repeated what she had said several times at this point. “I spent years hurting you. I broke your heart so many times that I’ve lost count. But you’re willing to forgive me and put my happiness over yours. But when it comes to you and Negan, you break his heart as a child because you loved me and you’re unforgiveable. Why?”

“I…” she hadn’t thought of it like that. Swallowing down, her lips parted and she dropped her head forward. “I don’t know.”

“You’re a better person than I ever was Y/N,” Joel threw that out there, his voice growing raspier the more he talked showing that he was getting emotional about the whole thing. “At your worst, you don’t even scratch the surface of the things I have done. Yet you think I deserve happiness and you don’t.”

“Because I love you and I want what is best for you,” she admitted, her saddened eyes locking with his. “And I do feel I’m the problem.”

“You’re far from the problem,” Joel slid forward to caress in over the side of her face. “You’re the answer.”

Hearing him say that took her breath away with Joel letting out something that sounded like a whimper, “You are the answer to making things better. You always were. Negan sees it. I see it. Having you in my life? That’s the thing that always made things better. When you love, you love with everything that you are. And the person at the other end of that love? Well, I reckon they are the luckiest person alive because no one loves like you do. So no. You are not the problem. You are the person that solves the problem. You are what makes everything whole again. I’m sorry that I was blinded to that for a little while, but I know that now.”

Again, it changed nothing, but he wished he would have noticed it when his life was falling to shit and he made the worst decision he had ever done in choosing to divorce her, but he couldn’t turn back time, “I love you. Which is why I’m telling you to go to that airport with Negan. We’ll work it out. Negan never made the mistakes that I did. He always knew you were the answer. And he cherished you as such. I think you were right. I think you two were soulmates and I fucked that up.”

“I don’t believe that,” she refused to believe that Joel wasn’t meant to be in her life. “Maybe the three of us were all meant to be soulmates. That’s why I thought the whole poly relationship would work out.”

“It would work out, I just got greedy and wanted to be your primary lover,” Joel took a minute to think about the way he worded that and he laughed. “I realize that sounded stupid, but I don’t mind sharing you with him. I just wanted to be your husband.”

“And you don’t anymore?” she stammered after being quiet. Joel kept his head down and he shrugged his shoulders.

“Trust me, I still want it. I want you to be mine and me to be yours, but I know that when you love something, and I love you,” Joel began, reaching for her hands again to give them a firm squeeze. “Well, then sometimes you have to let it go. I know without question that Negan is better for you. I know that he gives you more happiness than I can. I can never make up for all the mistakes that I made. I’d love to try, but I think the slate is cleaner with Negan.”

“Just like that?” she stammered, her eyes narrowing and Joel gave her a small nod. “Thank you Joel.”

“I just want you happy,” Joel slurred, leaning forward enough to hover his lips in over hers. The warmth of his breath lingered causing a chill down her spine. Bringing their lips together, Joel pressed a loving kiss over her lips. Pulling back with a hum, Joel dragged his thumb in over her bottom lip and gave her a wink. “I’ll always be here for you. To support you and lift you up when you need me. Because you are the love of my life Y/N. And that will never change.”

Getting up carefully, Joel swept his fingers in underneath her jaw and nodded over toward the exit of the attic, “I should get going. I think you might want to pack for tomorrow and clean up. Give yourself a break and get some sleep. Tomorrow is going to be a big day.”

Watching Joel head for the exit, she felt a lump growing at the center of her throat and she called out to him getting him to stop, “If I asked you to give me a reason not to go to Negan tomorrow, but instead pick you…what would you say?”

“No,” Joel shook his head, pushing his hands into his pockets. Kicking slightly at the floor, Joel grumbled under his breath. “Nothing I could say would be better than anything that Negan could give you. And I do genuinely in my heart believe that you should be with Negan. Not because I don’t love you, but because I love you enough to want you happy. Go to the airport tomorrow Y/N. You know I’m right. You’re not losing me, you’d be losing Negan and that’s what has you so upset.”

Joel was attempting to hold back on his emotions. Giving her a final wink, Joel left the attic leaving her to herself. Hearing him leave the house, she laid back again to look up at the sky like Joel had coached her to do earlier. What he had done was leave her with a whole lot of thoughts and feelings that she had to consider.

----

Pacing, Negan knew that they were loading people onto the airplane and he should have taken his seat. Instead, he was waiting. Even though everything was telling him it was impossible, he was just hoping that Y/N was running late. He should have known better. Since he had given her the ticket, he hadn’t heard from her. Every day he sent her a text message letting her know how much he loved and cared about her. Uplifting messages to try and make her feel better. But he got nothing in return.

“Mr. Smith?” someone called out to him waiting at the entrance of the walkway that led to the plane that he was meant to get on. “You’re going to have to get on soon.”

“Just give me one more minute,” Negan pled, holding his finger up in the air motioning them to wait. The person gave him a firm nod and Negan waited. Staring down at the walkway, he was hoping that Y/N would come, but she wasn’t. No one was headed toward this gate and he knew that he was waiting for nothing.

Dialing her number, Negan put his phone to his ear and waited. With how long it was ringing, he knew that she wasn’t going to answer. And he was right. A severe ache grew at the center of his chest and he let out a tremoring breath.

What was he going to do? Leave her a message? Get on the plane? Stay? What could he really do in this situation? She wasn’t talking to him. She wasn’t answering his calls. Maybe he should have just quit all together. Let his final year go and not sign that contract to become the coach. Afterall, his knee was fucked up. All it was going to take was one more injury and he was done. Everyone knew he was hurt anyways. His knee would be an incredible target to those people that never really liked him. And he was already wearing a brace most days as it was.

When her voicemail came up, Negan felt his throat go dry. It felt like his heart stopped for just a second. Everything felt hot when he cleared his throat, “Hey, this is Negan. Y’know that though. I just uh…I guess you’re not coming. And you didn’t talk to me, so maybe that means that you don’t want me in your life anymore. I just uhm…I just want to let you know that I love you. Getting to spend the short amount of time with you these last few weeks is the first time I’ve felt alive again in years. Truth is…” Negan paused realizing that he was getting emotional talking to her voicemail. “I don’t know what to do. I’m in the middle of the airport and they are telling me that I have to get on the plane, but I don’t want to. No where feels like home anymore for me. Just you. And I love you so fucking much.”

Damn, he was crying. In the middle of an airport. Not dramatically enough to draw attention to himself, but he felt the warmth of a tear sliding down his face, “I guess I should get on the plane because you haven’t called back. I just want to say I’m sorry. My intention was never to hurt you. I just wanted to make you happy and by doing that, I fucking overwhelmed you. I’m sorry. So fucking sorry. I moved too fast and I involved your daughter in this and I know that I shouldn’t have. I know how much Joel means to you, I just…I love you. And I should have fought for you when we were children, but I was hurt and I let that hurt linger. I regret it. If you decide while I’m on that plane that you do want to be with me, you can call me. I’ll check my messages when I land. I’ll quit immediately if that’s what you want from me. I don’t need to play a final year. I don’t need this coaching job. The only thing that matters to me is you. And if you don’t want me in your life, I’ll take the hint. That I’ve complicated things too much for you. And instead of coming back to town, I’ll just go home. I won’t get the home in our hometown and I’ll leave you be. I just…whatever happens know that I love you. I’ll always love you. And thank you for the happiness you brought to my life over the last few weeks. Both you and the children have been the best part about my life over the last few years. You’re perfect in every way Y/N. Never forget that.”

Hanging up the phone, Negan let out a tremoring breath wiping at his eyes with the back of his hand that wasn’t holding the cell phone. Clearing his throat, he was doing his best to get it together. The person was calling out to him again and Negan swallowed down hard. Turning on his heel, he clung to his bag and walked to the gate. Handing over his ticket, he felt awful walking up to the airplane.

The flight attendant there was excited to see that it was him on the plane, doing her best to flirt with him, but he was in so much pain that he didn’t even care. Right now he didn’t want to fake it. He didn’t want to pretend that everything was okay. Because it wasn’t.

Putting his bag in the overhead, Negan dropped down into the seat that was by the window. Beside him was the empty seat that he had gotten for Y/N. At least on the trip he would be alone so that way no one could bother him.

Dropping his head back against the seat, Negan covered his eyes and let out a frustrated grunt. This was the last place he wanted to be right now. Movement in the aisleway was heard and in that sense, maybe it was good he waited because obviously there were other people late besides him.

“Hey, you’re that baseball player, right?” an unknown voice questioned making Negan hiss out. Great. This was the last thing he needed right now. Weight dropped down in beside him into the seat where Y/N was meant to be and he felt a fire flooding his veins. “The one that’s retiring.”

“Yeah, that’s me,” Negan exhaled dramatically, keeping his hand over his eyes and rubbing at them.

“You’re known for being kind of an asshole, right?” the voice continued on and Negan felt his jaw flexing in frustration at the man that had clearly taken a seat beside him.

“Listen, I’ve had a horrible fucking day and right now I can’t take this shit,” Negan warned with a sense of venom in his tone, dropping his hand down ready to give the person beside him a verbal lashing. Letting out a confused breath, Negan met the familiar brown eyed stare. An uncomfortable sound fell from his throat and he shook his head. “What the fuck are you doing here? And why the hell were you talking like that?”

“I just wanted to see how you’d react,” the southern drawl returned and Negan felt his heart hammering inside of his chest.

“Joel, I don’t understand,” Negan stressed, his body tense and upset. The flight attendant from earlier was watching them from the front of the plane and Negan shook his head. “So what the fuck are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” Joel got comfortable in the seat beside Negan, stretching his legs out and cuddling back into the seat that was behind him.

“I’m flying out to meet the owner of the team to…” Negan began with Joel waving his hand about in the air in an over dramatic manner to get Negan to shut up.

“Yeah, yeah. I know. You have to sign a contract if you want to be the coach of the team after this year,” Joel blew off what Negan was saying, acting ridiculous with the way he was responding to Negan. “But I’ll repeat my question. What are you doing on this plane?”

“What am I supposed to be answering here Joel?” Negan snapped, his voice lowering when people started to calm down around him, getting prepared for the flight.

“You should be at Y/N’s home right now, not on this plane,” Joel answered for him having Negan’s hazel eyes getting wide with Negan leaning forward in the seat that he was in. “You should have never gotten on this plane.”

“You have a lot of nerve,” Negan snapped, pointing his finger out at Joel who simply just turned his head to stare out at him much like a child getting in trouble would. “You’re the one that threw the ultimatum out for her. And now that I’m here…”

“She’s broken-hearted Negan,” Joel informed Negan with a frown, his chocolate-colored eyes looking away from Negan in shame. “Ellie went to see her and she told me that she had been crying for days. And then I went to see her. Ellie was right.”

“She made her choice Joel,” Negan suggested, lowering his hands to rub at his knees. Everything hurt. It felt like he was being punched in the gut again and again with how much he was hurting from this whole thing. “I told her if she didn’t want this job, but she still wanted to be with me, to let me know before I left. I gave her the ticket. She hasn’t called me and she isn’t here. So, if I don’t hear anything, I’m not coming back. I’m just going to go home and leave her alone because she obviously…”

“Oh God,” Joel groaned outwardly infuriating Negan with the way that Joel dropped his head forward into his hand. “You’re so smart and good with people and you’re being so fucking stupid right now.”

“What do you expect me to do?” Negan blurt out, a chill running down his spine with the way that Joel was getting him worked up.

“I expect you to be Negan! The guy that has been infuriatingly perfect over the last few weeks. The guy that knows how to make her smile and feel good even when she wants to fall apart,” Joel stammered, lowering his hand to place it over the center of his chest.

“She picked you,” Negan didn’t know what to say to this whole act that Joel was putting on. “Are you here to rub it in my face…or what?”

“She picked me? You think she picked me?” Joel chuckled, immediately shaking his head. “No she didn’t. She didn’t make a choice because she was afraid of hurting someone’s feelings if she made a choice. So instead, she’s not making a choice. She’s letting things go back to the way they were before you showed up because she would rather be alone than hurt anyone. That was her choice, but that choice is destroying her.”

Stammering to find the right words, Negan knew that he was still emotional with his bottom lip trembling, “I don’t want her to be miserable. I just want her happy.”

“I know you do,” Joel confessed with a nod of his head, his jaw flexing with contemplation. “And I realized something. She’s miserable, heart broken. Waiting for things to go back to the way they were before Christmas. Which means she’s not with me, but I’m still in her life because I’m Ellie and Peter’s dad. But she’s gonna be without you. And the idea of not having you in her life has her fucking shattered.”

Lowering his head, Negan’s Adam’s apple bounced in his throat. Something that resembled a whimper fell from Negan’s lips and in that moment Joel felt incredibly guilty. This whole time he thought Negan had some kind of ulterior motive for the things that Joel had done when they were younger, but now? He didn’t question the love that Negan had for Y/N. Negan was broken too.

“I’m sorry sir, but this isn’t your seat,” the flight attendant from earlier stepped forward finally after watching their interaction from afar. “I know where your seat is and it looks like you’re upsetting Mr. Smith here and…”

“He’s staying,” Negan interrupted her, his hand stretching out to place in over Joel’s chest to suggest he wasn’t going anywhere.

“You heard the man,” Joel gave the woman a shit eating grin that had her letting out an offended breath before walking away. Lowering his arm, Negan dropped his head again and Joel could see that Negan was deep in thought.

“It’s you that she’s broken about because I’m never leaving her life. I’m the father to her children. But if she doesn’t pick, she loses you. And that’s why she’s devastated, locked up on her own and miserable. She loves you. And she didn’t want to hurt me because she doesn’t want to hurt anyone. So instead she hurts herself, thinking she’s doing what’s right because she doesn’t think she’s good enough for either one of us,” Joel explained to Negan, his facial expression softening as Negan’s head lifted and the misery was evident in Negan’s eyes. “When in reality, she’s perfect. I reckon better than both of us put together. She’s pure. She has the biggest heart I’ve ever known. And she’s in love with you. She’s in love with us.”

Lifting his hand again, Negan covered his eyes and Joel knew that he was trying to hide that he was getting emotional, “I broke her. And it took you all but a few weeks to heal her and make her happy again. To make things right between us. I don’t deserve to be married to her. But you? You do.”

“She loves you,” Negan reminded Joel with a tremoring breath.

“And she always will. I’ll always feel the same about her, but you are the one thing she can’t stand to be without Negan,” Joel insisted, giving him a simple shrug. Reaching out, Joel’s hand covered Negan’s getting Negan to gaze over at him. “And me? Well, I get the best part of the deal. I get to be with the both of you. And I can’t fuck up my marriage again if I’m the one wearing a promise ring. Although, I don’t plan to fuck up the relationship.”

Not sure what to say, Negan’s head tipped to the side and his hazel eyes narrowed, “Truth is Negan, you make both of us better. We love each other and we could get re-married. But you not only healed her. You healed me too. She loves you. My kids love you. And I love you. I don’t care how anyone judges me with saying that. I’ll fucking scream it on the plane if I have to prove it to you. I’m okay with this relationship. I’m okay with you being married to her. Because you make all of us better.”

“Bullshit,” Negan frowned, shaking his head slowly. “You will not be okay with this. You think you feel a certain way for me, but you don’t…”

“Oh?” Joel stood up from the seat that he was in, clapping his hands together. “Hey there everyone. Can I have your attention please?”

“Joel?” Negan snapped waving his hand to get Joel to sit down, but Joel immediately shook his head. Considering the plane had gone quiet, Negan knew that the people on the plane were genuinely listening to Joel.

“You see this man right here? This is Negan Smith, the famous baseball player,” Joel informed them all hearing a few sounds of awe with Negan burying his head into his hand. “I know, I reckon it’s pretty cool. You see, I have known this man since I was a child. He’s a cheeky motherfucker and he can be an asshole at times, but? I’m in love with him. Well, not just him, my ex-wife too, but that gets complicated…”

“Joel,” Negan laughed noticing that a few of the flight attendants were getting upset that Joel had the attention on the plane. Swiftly moving forward, Joel’s palm pressed in over the side of Negan’s face leading Negan up to him to bring their lips together for everyone to see surprising Negan at first. Allowing Joel to kiss him, Negan started to kiss him back and he knew that this would be an interesting turn of events considering the plane wasn’t empty. Humming, Negan urged Joel to lower back down into his seat with is forehead pressing to Joel’s when they separated. “You made your point. You got them talking.”

“And I don’t care what they are saying. What I do know,” Joel breathed, his thumb caressing over Negan’s chiseled jawline, “Is that I love you and I love her. And you both make me a better man. And I can’t lose that. I like the person I’m capable of being when you’re here and she’s here. I don’t care about the jobs. I want her happy. If she wants to do it, we’ll do it. My kids love the shit outta you and apparently Ellie has got ideas about how to make all of this work.”

“Oh?” Negan chuckled with a weak smile, nuzzling his nose in against Joel’s appreciating the way that this actually felt. “You do realize that this whole plane is going to think that you’re my lover now, right?”

“I am,” Joel reminded Negan with a tip of his head, his southern drawl growing stronger. “One of them at least. And my kids are okay with it. I’m okay with it.”

“I’m proud of you,” Negan leaned into press another lingering kiss over Joel’s lips getting him to hum when Negan brushed his fingers through Joel’s dark hair. When they separated, Negan gave a firm nod. “And I love you too.”

“So then what are we still waiting for? Let’s get off the fucking plane, go to her and fix things. I’m not gonna be a problem anymore because I want this. I want all of us happy. And you make all of us, every single one of us happier than we have been in a very long time. Even my kids see it. So we need to get out of here.”

“So we just get up and leave?” Negan looked to the front of the plane where they were finishing up with things and were preparing to take off. A few of them were giving them odd expressions since Joel just made a big display of his love for Negan. “We can’t do that.”

“Of course we can. You’re Negan Smith, you can do whatever you want,” Joel grumbled under his breath, throwing his hands about. “The plane isn’t in the air yet. That flight attendant is so far up your ass, you could do whatever you wanted.”

It was like Negan was thinking about everything that Joel was saying and it made Joel scoff, “You love her, right?”

“More than anything,” Negan was quick to respond and it had Joel waving his hand about.

“Then why aren’t you getting your ass out of the seat, grabbing your bag and getting the fuck out of here? You know that they would reschedule this contract signing for you if you asked them to, she’s more important,” Joel rumbled with Negan’s brow line creasing, his breathing growing louder. A moment later, Negan stood up from his seat. His fingers curled around Joel’s jacket to get him to stand up from the seat. Snatching his bag from the overhead container, Negan dragged Joel toward the door of the plane.

“I have to get off,” Negan explained to the flight attendants who looked like they were about to tell him he couldn’t. Realizing where this was headed, Negan cleared his throat uneasily and looked to Joel. “This man is having an asthma attack. He has horrible asthma and he forgot to bring his inhaler from the car. I’m going to go with him to make sure that he gets help.”

“It’s probably from you sucking the life out of him with that kiss,” one of the flight attendants stammered and it made Joel laugh who tried to mask it with him faking having an asthma attack. The flight attendants looked to Joel and suddenly Joel realized that he was meant to put on a performance. Starting to act like he was struggling to breathe, Joel curled his fingers around his throat and nodded desperately. Hooking his arm firmly around Joel, Negan acted like he was keeping Joel up who sank in against Negan.

“See! The man is having an asthma attack. His ex-wife only just dropped him off. If I get him off the plane, I can get her back in time to bring him the inhaler that he left in the car. The longer you keep him on the plane, the more likely he is to die!” Negan insisted having Joel growing heavier and he let out a wince. Even though he was selling it perfectly, Joel was laying it on way too thick making it hard to hold him up. “Too much.”

Realizing that Negan was saying he couldn’t carry him like that, Joel braced himself. One of the flight attendants was quick to open the door. Swiftly getting off the plane, they moved quick enough down the walkway, but not too fast to the point that they knew they were lying. Joel was still acting as if he was having an asthma attack. Stealing a look over his shoulder, Negan saw that they were still watching them and he nodded his head.

“Keep it up, they’re still watching,” Negan whispered once they finally got off the walkway. One of the workers was waiting for them at the gate, but Negan assured him that he would handle it. They kept it up until they were finally outside of the airport where Joel braced himself back against the wall. “You okay?”

“I’m actually lightheaded after that,” Joel groaned, coughing after the performance he put on with hyperventilating. “I have a newfound empathy for those that have asthma because fuck…”

“Catch your breath,” Negan moved forward to caress his hand in over the center of Joel’s chest having Joel’s eyes grow wide when he dropped his head back against the building. “Do you think they knew we were faking?”

“Please, I sold the shit out of that,” Joel defended himself, lowering down to place his hands in over his thighs to catch his breath. “They have no idea that it wasn’t real. You were quick on your feet, I just wish we would have come up with something that didn’t take so much out of me.”

“Can I kiss you again?” Negan wondered, his Adam’s apple bouncing in his throat realizing that they were in public with a lot of people showing up at the airport.

“I don’t know, you might suck the life out of me,” Joel teased, biting at his bottom lip when Negan hooked his fingers around his shirt balling it up at the center of his chest. Pulling Joel forward, Negan stole a kiss from his lips that had Joel hooking his arms around him proving to him that he was fully ready to be with him the way that they had talked about. When they parted, Joel’s eyebrows bounced up and Joel shrugged. “Maybe I should have been an actor with that performance, huh?”

“You were good, but not that good,” Negan playfully joked, peppering a few faint kisses over Joel’s lips. At some point, he was certain that there would either be photos of them kissing or a video since they were in public, but Joel didn’t seem to mind that. “Don’t push it Miller.”

Stepping in beside Joel, Negan clung to his bag and looked at the people that were showing up at the airport, “Now what?”

“I have an idea,” Joel explained, reaching out to pat Negan on the stomach giving him a wink. “Although, I do have to ask you for a favor.”

“Anything,” Negan nodded his head realizing that the only reason he wasn’t on that plane was because of Joel. “You name it.”

“So, in order to get on that plane I had to buy a first-class ticket,” Joel claimed, standing up straighter to meet Negan’s stare. “Do you think that I can borrow some money from you to pay off the credit card? At the moment, I didn’t have the money for that with Christmas and all…”

“You’ve got it,” Negan snickered, patting Joel on the chest and giving him a firm nod. “It would be no problem at all.”

----

Heading out of her car, Y/N followed the walkway at the center of town that was lit up by the lights that were still hanging. Their town waited until after the first few weeks of January to take down the decorations and she was thankful in this case. Elizabeth had called her in a panic asking Y/N to come get her. Not even thinking twice about it, she just threw her jacket on and ran out into the snow in her pajamas to go get Elizabeth. Fear was eating away at her, worried why her daughter was out this late anyways desperately needing to be picked up.

By now she expected to see Elizabeth, but the closer she got to the large tree at the center of town, the more she began to realize that no one was there. Reaching for her phone, Y/N pulled it out to see if Elizabeth had called her again or sent her a text to let her know where she was. This was the place that Elizabeth asked her to come.

“Elizabeth?” she called out her daughter’s name, dialing her daughter’s phone number. Panic started to flood her veins when her daughter wasn’t answering her phone. Not only that, but she also couldn’t hear her daughter’s ringtone so that meant she wasn’t here. “Elizabeth?!”

“Calm down,” a voice urged when she made it to the tree and from behind it she saw Joel stepping out in front of her holding his hands up in the air. “She’s not here.”

“Where is she?” Y/N was having trouble calming down, her body shaking from the immediate fear that had flooded her veins at the idea of her daughter not being okay. “Joel! Where is she?”

“She’s at home with Tommy. Both her and Peter are safe,” Joel held his hands up in the air defensively with him stepping in closer to her. His dark eyes were locked with hers and he seemed empathetic to the fact that she was upset. “I just had to find a way to get you out of the house and here to talk to me.”

“You used our daughter to get me out of the house so I would talk to you? We just talked last night! Why didn’t you show up at the house?” she was angry with every muscle in her body tensing up. “Joel! I just almost had a fucking panic attack because I was scared something happened to our daughter. But no, instead her father was using her to get me here.”

“How else was I supposed to get you here?” Joel reasoned with her, shoving his hands into his pockets and giving her a dramatic shrug. “I knew that you wouldn’t come here if you knew it was me here waiting for you, so I had to do what I knew would work. You’re an amazing mother and if you thought there was something wrong with one of our children, you would come here immediately.”

“Dick,” she scoffed eliciting a tiny snicker from Joel. Placing her hand at the center of her chest, she attempted to calm herself down. Everything felt like it was spinning and her heart was still hammering inside of her chest. The worst-case scenario had been swirling in her mind when she got here and to know that it was just a ploy to get her to talk to Joel upset her.

“Why didn’t you go to the airport?” Joel wondered, his hands pushing into his pockets while he stared out at her with his big brown eyes.

“How did you know I didn’t go?” she breathed out, sucking in a sharp breath of air.

“You’re here,” Joel stressed to her when in reality, he had been sitting outside her home earlier today and that’s why he rushed to the airport himself when he realized she wasn’t going.

“You look like you’ve been crying,” Joel pointed out with a frown. That heartbreak? It was there and it still showed.

“You’re very observative,” she wiped at her eyes, used to people pointing out she looked like shit. That’s what crying constantly would do to you. She hadn’t showered today which meant her hair was undoubtedly a mess. Not only that, she was wearing her pajamas underneath her jacket. “I take it that’s your way of saying I look like shit.”

“No, of course not,” Joel denied, shaking his head and releasing a long exhale. “You’re beautiful. Always. Whether you’re crying with makeup on or not. You are, you have always been and you will always be the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known. Inside and out.”

A tremoring breath fell from her throat with her head lowering down. Right now she didn’t feel that about herself. Right now she felt heart broken, pathetic and horrible.

“I don’t understand why you didn’t go to the airport,” Joel repeated what was on his mind, his Adam’s apple bouncing in his throat. “I told you to go to him.”

“And I told you that he deserved better than me. Both of you do,” she reminded him what she had said, her head shaking slowly. “I thought about it. I really did. But I love him so much and I don’t think I’m good for him. Making no decision is the best for everyone. Going back to the way things were…”

“Not making a decision is a big decision,” Joel repeated exactly what Elizabeth had said the other night. “And breaking everyone’s hearts is not the right way to do things. You’re still too goddamn worried about hurting feelings that you’re willing to break everyone’s heart because you don’t think you’re good enough. Yeah, you slept with me when you were dating Negan as a teen. That was bad. You fell in love with Negan when I wanted you back. Shit happens. But the three of us could make it work.”

“I don’t think that’s what you wanted Joel,” she thought back to the things he said yesterday to her before he left. It was beautiful, it was sweet and she seriously considered going.

“But I was right and you know it. You’re crying so fucking much because you’re losing Negan,” Joel stressed what he knew to be true. Thinking about Negan being on the plane and leaving had started to finally set in for her. It had a whimpering sound falling from her throat. “It’s okay to admit it. He makes us both better. Even if he is an asshole sometimes.”

They both snickered as she shrugged her shoulders and let out a tremoring breath, “He left me a message and he was so fucking sad. It shattered my whole heart. I packed a bag Joel, I was going to go. But then I heard how broken he already was because of me. What I put him through the last few days when he is so…”

“Perfect?” Joel finished for her hearing her crying and it made his eyes burn over seeing her so upset.

“This was the best decision for you and Negan,” she insisted with a firm nod of her head. “You both deserve better than me. You deserve someone that brings out the best in you. Negan deserves someone that does the same thing.”

“And you don’t think that you’re that person?” Joel reached out, sweeping his thumb in over the side of her face getting her to finally look up at him. There was a sadness lingering there and it broke his heart. “That’s my fault. I didn’t tell you how perfect you were as much as you deserved to hear it. Because no one was better for me than you. No one ever cared for me or lifted me up like you did Y/N. No one is better for me. Which is why I’m here. To be better for you.”

A confused half laugh fell from her throat, her eyes narrowing with Joel still caressing over her jawline, “I’m sorry I let it get to this. More than anything I want to be that boy you feel in love with again. The one that made you believe in love. The one that was the perfect husband and father, but I’ve made one too many mistakes and I’ll never be that Joel again. I wish I never made the mistakes I did, but I did. But if you ever listen to me about something, listen to me now. You saved me. Every day. And you still are saving me. You were always the person that was there through the tough times and I was so lucky to have you when I did. I would have never made it without you. Neither would have Tommy. You gave me the best of you. You always gave me the best of you. And I stopped doing that a long time ago. You deserve endless amounts of pampering and love. You deserve to hear every day how beautiful you are. How amazing you are. How life wouldn’t be the same if you weren’t in it. You deserve to smile and be happy.”

A whine escaped her throat with her head lowering down. Sliding his palm in over the side of her face, Joel closed the distance between the two of them and he sighed loudly, “Which is what you are going to get being with both of us. Just a little bit more with Negan as your husband and me as you’re promised one.”

Lifting her stare, she seemed confused with him hushing her before she could speak up again, “I know, you’re worried about me and how it’s going to hurt me, but I’m not blind. You’re heart broken because you were meant to be on that plane with Negan. You were meant to be with him and instead you’re here.”

“Joel…” she released a broken breath that was followed by a sob. Dropping her head had Joel’s fingers caressing in over the side of her neck. “It’s too late. The plane is already gone. I can’t do anything about it. I should have done what Elizabeth said, what Negan said. We should have all sat down and figured something out because I love the both of you. So much.”

Instinctively he wrapped her up in his arms to comfort her. “Why didn’t you tell him? Why didn’t you go with him?”

“Because I was afraid,” she lifted her head to meet Joel’s stare and his eyes were tearing over to which surprised her. “I didn’t want to be the thing that took away Negan’s happiness. I didn’t want to be the thing that ruined your life or his life.”

“Not all of us are your responsibility,” Joel stated with a frown, his features softening with him cupping her face in his hands. “Sure, Elizabeth and Peter are, but they are used to this back-and-forth thing between you and me. And they are good kids. They showed both of us that they don’t care if we have this relationship with Negan. And me? The more I think about it? The more I’m sold on it. To be with the both of you? I can’t think of a better way to have things.”

“It’s sounds perfect Joel, but it’s too late. He asked me to call him if I wanted him to come back and I didn’t. He called me before all of this when he was at the airport and he was upset. I could hear it in his voice. I broke his heart and I don’t know if he’d ever be able to forgive me for it,” she whimpered, closing her eyes at the sensation of Joel’s thumbs caressing at the sides of her face to collect the tears. “I didn’t call him. I should have texted him back. I should have called him and I didn’t because…”

“Because I fucked everything up,” Joel interrupted her thought process, letting out a long exhale. “I love you. I love you so fucking much and I realize the mistake that I made. I wish I never did it, but I did. And I wanted to turn back time to make it the way things used to be, but I can’t. And then Negan shows up and he’s the one person that can make you smile. The one person that can make things feel right between the two of us. Negan was everything the two of us needed and more. I love you enough to realize that Negan is the man you are meant to be married to. Not me. I’m always going to be here. I’m not going anywhere. You’re the mother of my children. You are my best friend. And you are my first true love. The love of my life. But in order for me to grow, I need to let you be happy. And if Negan is not in your life, that’s never going to happen. You need him. And he needs you. And I need both of you. You both make me a better man. The man I want to be.”

“Joel,” she whimpered with Joel leaning forward to press faint kisses at her lips, giving her a weak smile when he pulled away. “I can’t turn back time. As much as I would love to, I fucked up.”

“You won’t do it again,” Joel assured her, slowly releasing her from his arms, but dragging his fingers down her arms to hook his fingers with hers to give them a firm squeeze. “I think he’ll understand that. You love him, right?”

“I do,” she confessed with a shuddering breath.

“And you love me, right?” Joel confirmed with her grunting out.

“Obviously,” she felt like that was a little clear at this point.

“Then we will make it work together,” Joel winked, giving her hands a firm squeeze. “You’re always going to be my girl. Even if you’re married to Negan. We’re always going to be part of each other’s lives. I should have realized that when we were in New York City, but I needed a swift kick to the ass. Elizabeth helped me realize that. I don’t want to be the reason that you lost your smile. I love you that much. Which is why we’re gonna make this trio thing work.”

Sweeping his thumbs over the back of her hands, Joel could tell that tears were burning at his eyes and he shrugged his shoulders, “Would you say yes if he asked you to marry him?”

“I should have told him yes at the roller-skating rink,” she tremored, lifting her hands to caress over the sides of Joel’s face. “I love you Joel. I love you so much and a big part of my heart will always belong to you. There was just something with Negan that made me feel…”

“Whole?” Joel filled in the blanks for her and she nodded slowly, her jaw flexing in upset. “Yeah, he does that for me too. Weird how that fucker is able to fill in the empty spaces and make things feel right. I wish I had that talent.”

“There is something about you too,” she hushed him, pushing faintly at his shoulder to get him to look down at her. “I have been in love with you my whole life. Obviously you’re doing something right. I just fucked things up with Negan. Twice now. It’s something I’ll never let down. But this is my own fault.”

“No, you can have your dreams. You can have everything you’ve ever wanted,” Joel promised her, stepping forward to give her another quick kiss getting emotional himself. “Everything you deserve. And the children agree with me.”

“How?” she breathed out with Joel reaching into his pocket. Pulling something out, he revealed to her the box that was in his hand. Once she saw the small jewelry box, she gave him an odd expression. “Joel?”

“I love you. I always will. And I’m not going anywhere. I want to promise you that,” Joel nuzzled his nose in against hers before stepping back. “I’m always going to be here to support you. The way I should have. Just not as your husband. And I’m okay with that.”

Sweeping his thumb over the box, Joel took one final look at it before tossing it beyond her. Surprising her with the movement, she turned to see where he had thrown it letting out a trembling exhale when she saw Negan standing behind her holding onto the box.

With a weak smile, Negan stepped forward before her. Unhurriedly lowering down to his knee, Negan gave a wince with his knee starting to hurt him on the hard concrete, but he didn’t care. Seeing him had her crying and Negan could feel himself getting emotional too.

“You’re here,” she trembled, squeezing firmly to Negan’s fingers with him kneeling before her. “I thought you left. I thought…”

“He came to get me to bring me where I belong,” Negan hushed her, bringing her hand to his mouth to deposit a loving kiss over the back of her hand. Looking back over her shoulder, she saw that Joel was standing behind them watching with his hands shoved into the pockets of his jeans. With their eyes connecting, she got the confirmation that indeed Joel was who brought him here from the airport. “Which is with you. I don’t care where I am as long as I’m with you. Y/N, I love you with everything that I am. I don’t care where we are, as long as we are together because your love is enough for me. You are enough for me. The only thing that I can hope for is that I’m enough for you.”

“Just ask her already,” Joel grumbled under his breath getting a grunt to fall from Negan’s throat, but a laugh followed.

“Will you make me the happiest motherfucker on the planet and marry me?” Negan asked with a broken breath having her immediately nod her head. Grunting through the pain, Negan got up from the ground with her jumping into his arms to hug him. Squeezing her in against his chest, Negan spun her in a circle. Peppering kisses against the side of her face, Negan nuzzled his nose in against her neck and let out a happy sound. “I love you so much.”

“And I love you,” she insisted pulling Negan in to kiss her letting it linger. By the time she pulled away she was breathless and she pressed her forehead to his. “So much.”

“Good,” Negan gave her a big cheesy smile, squeezing her in closer to him. Looking beyond them, Negan could see that Joel seemed genuinely happy, but sad at the same time. Waving his fingers, he urged Joel forward. Turning toward him, Negan allowed Joel to come in to hug the both of them. “Thank you. You’re a good man Joel Miller.”

“Now let’s not go that far,” Joel’s nose wrinkled, giving them both a firm hug. “I just know what’s right and wrong. And in this moment, I needed to do what was right. My daughter helped me realize what that was.”

“And you’re okay with this?” she confirmed having Joel step back and hold his hand up in the air showing her a ring that was on his finger already. Bouncing his eyebrows Joel caused her to laugh when she looked between the two of them. “The hell is that?”

“I gave him the ring I was wearing to make sure he knows he’s ours,” Negan lifted his hand to show that the ring he often wore was gone. “It’s just a placement holder until I can get one that he likes better. Maybe one that matches your ring.”

“I deserve the bling too,” Joel teased feeling her shoving into his chest and he laughed. “Although, you might have to deal with some awkward press for a while. I think people might think I’m the one marrying Negan.”

“What does that mean?” she looked between the two of them with the sound of Joel’s voice echoing behind her. Looking over her shoulder she saw that Negan was holding a video up with Joel’s speech on the plane. Immediately a rose color flooded into Joel’s face when the video clearly showed him and Negan kissing. “What is that?”

“Well that was fast,” Joel grumbled under his breath, shoving his hands into his pockets. “These people and their damn cell phones.”

“It’s a good story,” Negan hooked his arm around Y/N’s shoulders, leading her to follow him over toward Joel so he could wrap his arm around Joel’s shoulders with his other arm. “We can talk about it on the way back to Joel’s place.”

“Joel’s place?” she was curious since she would have thought they were headed back to her home.

“Oh, we have a meeting with a seventeen-year-old girl and a thirteen-year-old boy that want to explain their plans to us,” Joel explained to her referring to Peter and Elizabeth who asked to see them both after they got done doing whatever they were. “Apparently our daughter has created a power point for us.”

“Oh tonight is gonna be fun,” Negan suggested, leaning in to press a kiss against Y/N’s temple and then repeated the motion to Joel. “I’ll get the car.”

Leaving the two of them to themselves, Negan was swift to head over toward the car that he had driven back with Joel. Turning to face Joel, she reached out for his hands to squeeze them firmly in hers, “You really are different.”

“Mhmm,” Joel breathed out, stepping forward to close the distance between them. “And I plan to spend the rest of my life proving it to the both of you. I’m wearing the ring so that means this sexy dad bod? Yeah, it belongs to both you and Negan.”

“Dear God,” she tipped on her toes to pepper loving kisses against Joel’s lips who wrapped her loosely in his arms. “And you’re okay with that?”

“Strangely, yes,” Joel responded with a long sigh, leaning forward to rest his forehead against hers enjoying the warmth of her near. “All I know is that the both of you make me a better man and I want you both happy. This is the best way. For all of us. Together. Making things work.”

“I love you Joel Miller,” she stressed, resting her head against the center of his chest allowing him to stroke his fingers over the back of her neck while he cuddled his chin down in over the top of her head. “So fucking much.”

“I know,” Joel pressed a lingering kiss over the top of her head as Negan pulled up with the car. Helping her into the car, Joel made sure she was safely in before getting into the back. “After this meeting, I vote we go have a threesome in that nook. I’ve been trying so hard to have sex there. And I think I could use it.”

“We’ll see where the night takes us,” Negan chuckled hearing the sound of the video he played earlier coming from his phone again that was now in Y/N’s hands as she watched it.

“This has a lot of views you know,” Y/N pointed toward the phone holding it up and looking back over her shoulder to stare out at Joel. “There is still time for the two of you to be the couple to get married. I told you, I’m okay with being the third wheel. It really wouldn’t bother me with you two getting married.”

“Yeah, well, we’ll see,” Joel waved his hand about getting a laugh from Y/N as she continued to watch the video. “We’ll figure something out. Together. We’re a team now so whatever happens, happens. But it will happen with the three of us together. Starting something new. I reckon these next few days are going to be interesting to say the least, but I’m ready to take on that challenge with you and Negan at my side.”

----

Tags: @chainsawsangel @fancypeacepersona @violent-darkness @negansbestie @elegantfanficluv

@sanctuaryforthelost @dead-of-niight @dilfsandmartinis @jennydehavilland

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malk1ns · 16 days ago

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march 9 @ wild, 3-1 win

i like the convenience and novelty of seeing them play in my town but also like...go away why are you so close to me. the knowledge that they slept less than a mile from where i live the night before the game is unsettling. get out of my school.

loved getting his and his goals AND penalties though. they really do everything together don't they?

good grief are they getting weird in warmups though, like...stop crawling all over each other you're in public? yikes. this fic was inspired by geno skating past sid and like...literally smelling him? i have no idea it was so fucking odd.

One of the team omegas going into heat always throws everyone off. Even the guys who think they’re above it all, more enlightened than their designations and fully in control of their instincts, end up succumbing.

The whole team gets worked up, especially when they’re on the road and nobody has a chance to go home and get a little distance. They’re around each other all the time 12+ hours a day, and the only breaks they get are when they’re boxed into tiny hotel rooms that smell like strangers and do nothing to help soothe frazzled, on-edge instincts.

It comes to a head in Minnesota. Sid can’t say Karl didn’t time his heat impeccably; by the smell of it, he’ll tip over fully tomorrow, when they’re back in Pittsburgh and he can den down with his mate of choice to ride it out.

As if it’s going to be anyone other than Kris.

Sid watches in vaguely-impressed disgust as Kris practically drools over a puck he’s got parked between his feet, spitting pheromones onto the rubber before passing it with pinpoint accuracy across the ice to where Karl is dawdling through his own warmup routine.

“So gross,” Geno mutters from behind Sid in delighted horror. “Can’t believe Tanger does, like, there’s people everywhere.”

Sid glances briefly at the glass; there are a lot of people down to watch warmups, even more than normal in Minnesota which always draws a large crowd. Kris is oblivious to it all, skating wide arcs around the blue line with his eyes fixed on Karl.

Honestly, Sid gets it. Karl’s pre-heat smells sweet and tempting, and if Sid were still chasing after omegas like he did when he was younger he’d probably have a go at courting behaviors himself. Not now, of course, he’d never trigger a brawl with a teammate before a game, but he’d try something.

Geno circles in front of Sid, tipping his head down and sniffing ostentatiously. “You stink,” he says, voice low and fond and dirty in a way that draws Sid’s attention to him like a magnet. “Think maybe you’re want to do too.”

Sid reaches out and snags a stray puck with his stick, handling it between Geno’s feet. “I’ll spit on whatever you want back at the hotel tonight,” he says before taking off for the net, leaving Geno sputtering and reeking of arousal in Sid’s wake.

—

Getting a win after a shutout is great. Sid has a little extra juice all night, and it’s nice to get rewarded. He’ll never admit to tracking his own stats, but he knows about the Gretzky record just as well as the entire Penguins fanbase; he knows what’s at stake.

Twelve more points in sixteen games feels a lot more doable now than it did a month ago, when his wrists were sore and aching and his left arm was all but useless.

Geno netted his own goal too, banging his own rebound past Flower and crowing at him so loudly about it that Sid could hear it all the way from the bench.

Outside the arena, Sid sucks in a deep breath, letting the fresh air clear his head. The locker room had been fogging over with omega slick, and if Sid was affected Kris was practically catatonic, trailing after Karl into the showers and back out like he was on a leash.

Karl isn’t even in heat yet for real. It’s going to be a long flight back to Pittsburgh tomorrow.

The walk across the park back to the hotel is short, but it’s enough for Sid to shake off the last of the game adrenaline and the base, instinctive need to put on a show in front of a cycling omega.

Geno paces him, hands shoved in his pockets. He looks unaffected, but that’s nothing new. Sid can’t remember a single time an omega turned Geno’s head, not even when they were reeking of pre-heat and practically throwing themselves at him. He’d barely even smell interested.

Sid used to worry he was homophobic or something because of the way his stomach twisted when he watched Geno slip out of bars with other alphas. It used to keep him up sometimes, agonizing over how he could be a good, supportive captain, how he’d be able to say and do the right things to make sure Geno didn’t feel alienated, all while feeling the way he did.

It took him a while to figure out what was really going on. Nobody’s ever accused Sid of being deeply in touch with his feelings. He’s glad Geno was patient with him in those early days.

Sid likes to think he’s made all that initial weirdness up to him and then some in the intervening years.

Geno nudges him as they step into the lobby. “Good game,” he says, herding them towards the elevator; he always gets antsy about Sid’s privacy when they’re in public, does his best to put himself between Sid and anyone who looks like they might bother him.

It stirred up complicated feelings in Sid for years, shame twisted with arousal. Now, he just appreciates the way Geno really looms over him when he wants, the warm press of his body along Sid’s side, his big hands on Sid’s back as he hustles them down the hallway and into their room.

He can’t help but push back a little, dig his heels in and fight Geno’s grip; he’s still an alpha, after all, and he’s not going to go down easy, not even when it’s Geno putting him there.

Geno gets Sid pinned up against the wall and leans down, opening his mouth over Sid’s scent glands and inhaling. The scrape of teeth on skin freezes Sid in place, hair standing on end as his body reacts to a perceived threat so near.

“Smell so good,” Geno rumbles, way down in his alpha register. His hands are all over Sid’s body, handsy like he always is, proprietary and possessive without a care for the way Sid’s having to breathe through his initial reaction to fight.

This is how it goes after games when they’re both worked up. Geno boxes him in, Sid reminds himself he likes it.

Sid has to admit that he had some ideas about what Geno would be like in bed. He’s gay, after all, not a flicker of interest in omegas, and there are stereotypes that Sid’s embarrassed he assumed would be true. He’d had a hazy picture in his head of Geno rolling over and presenting, going belly-down and whining for it like his omegas always have.

Sometimes, Geno does do that. But sometimes Sid does too. Most of the time, it’s like this:

Geno backs off just enough for Sid to push at him, wrestling them both towards the bed. Geno’s musk fills the room; Sid’s probably is too, but obviously he can’t smell himself. The heady scent of aroused alpha turns Sid’s crank like crazy, sends him out of his skin with the need to touch, to claw and bite and own.

He wrestles Geno onto his back and tucks his face into Geno’s neck, breathing so deeply he makes himself dizzy. He imagines sinking his teeth in, like he would have years ago without a second thought if Geno were an omega, leaving a mark on Geno’s neck for all to see. It’s taboo, transgressive enough to make Sid’s guts squirm and his dick twitch picturing it.

He doesn’t dare imagine Geno leaving a mark of his own on Sid’s neck, not if he wants this to last.

Geno’s nails scratch into Sid’s skin as he scrabbles at Sid’s shirt. Getting them both naked nearly devolves into a fight, but eventually their clothes are in a pile on the floor and Geno’s sucking on Sid’s tongue as he plays with Sid’s balls.

His hands are huge, and Sid thinks about spreading his legs and begging Geno to finger him. They don’t have time, not with an early flight the next day and a game the day after; the worst part of sleeping with another alpha is the amount of time everything takes if they want to fuck, and Sid’s not in the mood to slip into the bathroom and do it himself, to come out and pretend he’s an omega, all ready for Geno to slide right in.

The best he can do tonight is thrash until they’re on their sides, Geno curled around Sid’s back with one hand on his dick and the other playing with his chest as Sid spills lube over his hand and rubs between his thighs before tucking Geno’s dick there and squeezing.

“Fuck,” Geno grunts, humping forward and practically rolling Sid onto his stomach. Sid grits his teeth and braces, reaching back and digging his fingers into Geno’s flank as Geno fucks into the space between his thighs.

It sounds obscene in the close little hotel room, slick thrusts and slapping flesh, and Sid tosses his head, burning with humiliation. He’s so close, and the idea of anyone knowing how hard this is getting him off, letting another alpha drool all over him and make Sid his bitch, makes him moan.

“Geno, please,” he gasps, and Geno’s hand on his dick is too rough, too much too fast, but it tips him over the edge, and he comes with a shout into Geno’s palm.

Geno squeezes over his knot, painfully tight and just what Sid needs, and Sid tenses his leg muscles, working Geno’s dick over as best he can until Geno comes too, his own knot swelling between Sid’s thighs.

Geno’s breath is hot on Sid’s neck. Now that they’ve both come the immediate threat of another alpha’s bite has receded, so Sid tilts his head to the side, smiling when Geno immediately plants his face against Sid’s skin.

“Smell something you like?” he chirps. It’s weak, but he’s tired, and orgasms like that one, that feel almost more like a fight than sex, sap him of his ability to be witty.

“Smell like mine,” Geno replies, and Sid sinks into his words, the way they make him feel.

He does belong to Geno. Always has, even when he didn’t realize it yet. Geno belongs to him too.

Sid falls asleep thinking about how maybe his fantasy of matching mate-bites isn’t that insane after all.

#sidgeno #hockey rpf #my writing #my fic #24-25 series

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dnfity · 3 months ago

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they were so silly in your fic thank you so much :(( question. how do you write such realistic dialogue? your dialogue is seriously some of the best i've seen in this fandom

sorry it took me so long to get to this i wanted to try and give a good answer. i think the biggest thing that helps me is to just try to imagine them say whatever piece of dialogue i just wrote in my head. if it sounds weird, then i change it and i'll keep changing and changing it until it sounds real.

i wrote some general notes below and its long so dont open unless u want an essay on your dash:

george:

i think i find george's the easiest only bc i watch his videos/streams the most. some notes for him is that he says dreams name when talking to him A LOT. if u notice, he'll usually say it after shorter commanding phrases. for example, "it's fine, dream" or "stop, dream" or "i dont know, dream". he'll also use his name at the beginning of phrases whenever hes about to complain about something lmao. let's say george wants to go out or something. instead of straight up saying he wants to go out, he might say something like "dream, im bored. this vicinity that we're in, it's boring" expecting dream to fix the problem for him.

adding onto that, he loves his little vocab words. words like befuddled seem to be favorites for him. i think he just likes the way certain words feel to say if that makes sense. (dream is one of those words). he also tends to speak in shorter phrases sometimes, especially when hes trying to joke around. his way of speaking in general doesnt typically involve long-winded explanations. in fact, in the past, when dream or sapnap dont understand what hes saying, he usually gets annoyed. "how do you not know what i'm talking about? you're an idiot."

dream:

the thing that stands out the most to me with dreams way of speaking is that hes usually very honest with everything he says. if he suddenly gets this surge of appreciation or gratitude towards someone, he'll most likely vocalize it. he also - contrary to george - tends to draw out his sentences. i think he is definitely a saying before speaking kind of person, and that usually involves him cutting sentences off to start new ones, run on sentences, etc. he has that adhd way of speaking lmao. stuttering, saying "like" a lot, feeling like he cant get the sentence out as fast as his mind is going, switching between topics while telling a story.

dream also sees the world through a technicalities a little lmao. what i mean by that is that he tends to want to be very specific when it comes to his actions / the things he observes. for example, he can't just say, "i slept so much last night." it'll go more like, "i slept so much last night. i slept for like, twenty hours. ok, well, maybe not twenty hours but it was like - okay, it was maybe like, sixteen hours." this i think also manifests into terms he used to use a lot such as recency bias (and george kinda does too, but i think he does it mostly when talking to dream, a way of mirroring him during a conversation).

tldr just really pay attention to the way they speak to each other and spin them around in your head.

im sure there are things im missing but i hope that was at least somewhat helpful. i also didnt read over this after typing it so if there are errors im sorry.

#i definitely wansnt always the best at dialogue but through practice i think ive gotten a lot bettter so ty for the compliment #it means a lot <3 #indy.ask

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its-time-to-write · 2 years ago

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Thank you so much for the response to my request <3. the fic was better then I could have hoped!!!!

I have a new request (but feel free to focus on the story themes you were wanting to do!), I have been really wanting to see a Jamie fic where he takes care of sick reader. Could be period or illness (no preference) and Jamie has no idea how to help but tries his best. I think its a cute idea

Can't wait to read more of your fics!

Thank you so much for requesting!! Literally love when people ask me to write things. Also, apparently everyone loves a sickfic because my other one has the most notes of everything I’ve written. Anyway, here’s your fic!

there’s orange juice in the kitchen

You are not sure of much, but you know one thing: you’re in pain. It’s 2am, and you’ve gotten a grand total of two hours of sleep. You’ve given up on laying in your bed and have filled up your bath with hot water, bubbles, and bath salts. Lots of bath salts. Your abdomen feels like it’s shredding itself and you suppose, technically speaking, it is. You’re just relieved that tomorrow is the weekend and you don’t have to slog through a work day, white-knuckling these absolutely ripping period cramps.

You don’t have regular periods like, ever, and your doctor’s concerned about your fertility. You remember waving it off with the statement, “That’s a problem for another day.” Thing is, that was just a cop-out. You didn’t want to think about it for a single second because then it would become real, and you make it a personal point never to complain about a period no matter how brutal it is because at least it’s something and never mind that your last one was four months ago, you’re ok. You have a good life and good people and you’re fine.

It’s just the principle, you know? The desire of choice.

The hormones don’t help either.

But anyway, you’re in your tiny bath trying to soothe the pain you’re in, trying to make yourself tired enough to fall asleep once you get out. You breathe, in, out. In, out.

You’re up till 6am when you finally doze off.

—

You wake up in a sweaty haze. You’re in soft pants and a large t-shirt, on top of your sheets rather than in them. You reach for your phone then pull your legs in with a sharp gasp. You’re still in pain.

It subsides so you reach again and check the time. 9:01. You groan. Three hours of dubious sleep is not enough. You have a missed text from Sam (remind me which brand of kitchenware you use?) two missed texts from Keeley (look at this absolutely adorable puppy! Attached: 1 Image), and a missed call from Jamie.

Ah, right. Jamie.

Your boyfriend.

Who you were supposed to meet for breakfast exactly sixteen minutes ago.

Shit.

You call him back and he answers on the first ring.

“Hey love!” he says. “You alright? Not like you to miss breakfast.”

You grimace. “I uh, I wasn’t feeling well last night and I haven’t slept very good. I forgot to text you. Didn’t fall asleep until 6.”

“A.M.?” Jamie asks and you reply to the affirmative. He lets out a long “shiiit,” followed by a, “how contagious are you?”

“For you? Not very,” you say. “For another girl, incredibly contagious, although some say that’s an old wive’s tale.”

Jamie is silent in confusion, then- “Ohh, I get it! You’re not sick-sick, you’re on your fucking period.”

You chuckle, despite remaining curled up on your side.

“Yes,” you reply, “My fucking period. I feel nauseous and tired and I am bleeding so. Much. It’s like my body’s making up for the last four months of nothing.”

Jamie’s silent for a moment and you internally cringe, kicking yourself for over sharing. You haven’t been together that long, about a month and a half, and he doesn’t need to know that about you. He’s a famous footballer, after all, and a guy’s guy. Probably gets grossed out about periods and stuff.

Then he says, “Can I come over? I’ll bring food,” and your worries almost completely evaporate.

“As long as you don’t care about how disgusting I am or the fact that I hurt a lot, sure,” you say. “I’ll leave the door unlocked.”

—

Jamie’s at your flat in 40 minutes, which is fast considering how much food he walks in with. He’s brought a bag of Chinese takeout, plus two overflowing grocery bags.

“This is for now, these are for later,” he explains. He’s in a pink sweatshirt with matching shorts and socks, and maybe it’s the damned hormones again but he looks hot. His hair is pushed back with a headband and you want him to fuck you. You don’t think you can convince him, though, what with the blood. And the fact that he’s Jamie fucking Tartt. And that he probably doesn’t do shit like that because it’s gross.

Your brain whispers, but he’s here, isn’t he? so you just push that thought down to live with other scary ones like, I will never have kids, or I’m going to live with this pain for the rest of my life.

Jamie is oblivious to this, just pulling everything out of the bags and chattering on. He’s kicked off his trainers near the door, and he hasn’t made any comments about the fact that you’ve wrapped a blanket around your shoulders like a shroud, or that your hair is in the messiest bun in the history of the world. Not the sexy, reader-insert fan fiction type of messy bun, either. Just an I-did-not-get-anywhere-NEAR-enough-sleep-last-night messy bun.

“-and me mum always drank orange juice, swore it helped with bloating or hydration or somethin’, I don’t really know, but I got some of that too and this tea that’s supposed to help with cramps, and also a shit-ton of chocolate because I didn’t know which kind was your favorite. I was thinking we can sit on the couch and watch a movie or play Animal Crossing or some shit while eating the takeout, then I can cook you a proper fucking meal later. Coach always says it’s important to have a balanced meal when you’re under the weather, and I think it applies to this too.” He stops when he notices you just looking at him. “You alright, babe?”

“Yeah, I just- why did you get all this?” you blurt out.

For the first time since you’ve known him, Jamie looks unsure of himself. “I dunno. I mean, I do know. You didn’t sound great over the phone, and Keeley’s always telling me to fucking listen to other people, and me mum was always the same on her period so I used to get her the things she wanted all the time. And-” he takes a breath, “and I picked up on what you said. The fuckin’ four-months shit. That ain’t good babe. Even I know that. And, we haven’t been together that long, but I’m pretty fucking sure you know that too, and I wanted to let you know I’m sorry.”

You’re momentarily fixed on the way he says certain words. Keeleh. Sorreh. It’s sweet, for some reason, and it causes a dull ache in your chest. You realize what he’s actually said to you and that ache deepens. You’d kiss him if you weren’t sure your breath was gross.

So instead, you settle for nodding and staring at your kitchen wall. That’s because option one is kissing and option two is crying. You can’t do either right now.

A traitor tear slips out your eye anyway, and you hope Jamie won’t see it. He does.

“Hey, hey.” He comes around the counter and pulls you into a hug, blanket shroud, messy bun, and all. “Love. It’s alright. It’s alright. You’re not alone, and we’re going to go sit on the couch and eat as much food as we can and then pass out, alright? We’re not going to think about anything else except what’s right in fuckin’ front of us.”

“That was,” you sniff, “weirdly philosophical. And very sweet. And I’m sorry for being disgusting.”

Jamie pulls away from you, and you think this is the first time he’s realized how gross you are.

“Don’t say that shit, babe,” he says, and you laugh before you realize he isn’t joking.

“I’m serious,” he continues. “You might feel disgusting, but you aren’t. You smell like fucking lavender, for Christ’s sake. Your pajamas are clean, and so’s your hair. Might be fuckin’ messy right now, but me mum also taught me to braid, so it’s nothing that can’t be fixed.”

You pull him back against you and let some more tears come out.

“Why are you being so nice,” you ask, voice muffled through his sweatshirt.

“Oh, dunno,” he replies, hint of a smile in his voice, “Think you’re fit. I like shower sex. You pick.” He pauses. “Maybe both. Heard that it can help with cramps.”

You laugh wetly into his chest. He’s warm and comforting, and so completely not what you expected him to be. You both stand in the kitchen for another minute, his cheek resting on your head before he says, “Oi, you hungry?”

“God, yes,” you say, “I could eat a fucking horse.”

“Good.” Jamie picks up the bulging bag of takeout and a roll of paper towels. “Lead the way, babe.”

—

It’s not until much later, after you’ve eaten, watched a movie, and showered (and all that implies) that you realize you’re finally tired. Finally calm. You let yourself relax on your bed in Jamie’s arms, breathing in his clean smell. In, out. In, out. By the third breath, you’re asleep.

#jamie tartt x reader #jamie tartt fanfiction #jamie tartt imagine #jamie tartt x y/n #jamie tartt x you #jamie tartt #ted lasso

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maxime-damian · 2 months ago

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last night I resolved one of the biggest mysteries of my life and I have no one to share this with because it's soooo fucking niche but

let's go back at least ten years in time okay, maybe less, but probably more. I am an only child who doesn't have cable TV so I'm a little bit disconnected from popular culture amongst my peers, except for the few times a year I get to spend holidays at my grandma's beach house. I don't like leaving the house, I have never had, so I use this time to watch cartoons. I'm watching all the fucking channels available, idc. zapping for hours and doing nothing

anyways, remember how back in the day cartoon network had this dynamic where you could vote what show they were gonna put next? yeah? iconic, right? so I'm laying in bed watching TV, my eyes are BURNING and I have this headache that's forcing me to close my eyes and drip away to a quick nap, all while they start playing a show I had never seen before in my life. it's the first episode. the show has a weird edgy vibe to it that tunes me in immediately because it looks dirty, and the characters are weirdly shaped and the animation is not that polished, but I am also falling asleep as I watch this. the plot is the weirdest fucking thing ever, and looking back, kinda bad. but I remember it vividly. the characters too, high school setting, three male characters, a red head with a green shirt, a tan one with gold chains, and a tall blond one who talks with an accent. I watch the whole thing and then knock the fuck out for hours.

I wake up. Confused as hell, arms tingling. What the actual fuck was that? Was it a dream??? It felt like one. Was the fucking name of the show?? Can't recall it. My brain is empty, everything feels like a distant memory now, the images are there, but for the life of mine I cannot put them in words. I need to find out what that show was.

TEN YEAR OLD QUEST TO FIND THAT SHOW. I tell people about it, my recollection of the plot, nobody knows what the fuck I'm talking about. I feel like I'm alone in this. I find myself submerged in hours-long Google searches trying to find this show. nothing. NOTHING. I forget about it for a long time, but every so often the memory comes back and I start to wonder if maybe everything was no more than a weird dream.

now, I came across a post on tumblr about nineties shows yesterday, which made me remember that after all these years I still haven't resolved this mystery, and led me to another deep dive of Google searches trying to solve the quest. I realized something. Canadian shows kinda have a very distinctive character design?? Think of total drama or sixteen. I started searching all of teletoon shows. Wait, red hair and green shirt combination?? FUCK I REMEMBER THAT. IS THAT IT? that's the main character, I REMEMBER THIS. HOLD ON LET ME CHECK THE WIKIPEDIA PAGE FOR THE PLOT.

I FUCKING FOUND IT

MORE THAN TEN YEARS AGO I WATCHED THE FIRST EPISODE OF DETENTIONAIRE AND FOR THE LONGEST TIME I THOUGHT IT WAS A FEVER DREAM. NOBODY KNOWS THIS FUCKING SHOW, NEVER CAME ACROSS IT EVER AGAIN. APPARENTLY THERE'S AN ONLINE FAN COMMUNITY DEDICATED TO IT TOO?? IT HAS FOUR SEASONS?? how the FUCK did it take me so long to come across it again???

then, for the first night ever, I slept peacefully.

#detentionaire #in case you wonder. yeah i rewatched the episode. yeah it was bad #anyways this got me feeling like I live under a rock #but tbf no one else knew what i was talking about when i tried to explain it SO

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joshsindigostreak · 1 year ago

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I See Hell in Your Eyes

Chapter Nine

“Your pretty face and electric soul.”

Vampire!Josh x Vampire!Reader

Authors Note: Good morning, readers! Sorry for putting yall through the wringer in Chapter Eight. It will happen again, but not in this chapter! This one is a lot sweeter. If you haven’t read Chapter Eight yet I highly suggest you do so because this chapter won’t make a lot of sense without it. Also as always my inbox and DMs are always open so if you want to come scream at me after a chapter feel free to do so! Every single one of y'alls comments and thoughts means the world to me and I love hearing what you think. 😘😘😘

Word Count: 7310

Warnings: Graphic descriptions of blood, allusions to violence, SMUT, 18+, minors DNI, blood play, teasing, brat taming if you squint, fang play(?), I think that’s it. :)

Sixteen hours. That's how long Josh had been asleep. The first two hours, you didn’t even move. You just held him as he slept, gently cleaning up any blood with a towel and running your fingers through his hair. Eventually, you shifted from behind him and got him properly tucked in. But you kept your promise, your eyes never left him for a second. After redressing you laid down next to him on the bed over the duvet.

You were so focused on him that you didn’t even hear the door open, or notice Dimitri standing next to the bed.

“How is our dear Joshua?”

Without looking up, you say,, “he’s fine.”

“How long has it been?”

“Sixteen hours.”

Dimitri hummed in response, “how long did it take for you to wake up?”

“Two nights.”

“Typically it's around the same amount of time for a Maker and their new Vampire,” he paused and said, “have you slept at all, darling?”

Ignoring his question you replied, “some people don’t wake up at all…”

“Oh that's very rare, and you know that-”

“Rare, but not impossible.”

“I knew someone who took six nights to come back, and do you remember that Mary girl who lived with us during the twenties? She took over a week. It all just depends, darling.”

“How long did you take?”

He looked off in the distance for a moment, “roughly three nights. Woke up in the basement of a church of all places.”

“I was in a carriage,” you said softly, the memories floating back to you, “in the middle of the day, no less. He was inside, sleeping.” For a moment, you were back in that carriage, terrified and unsure of where you were. You had made the mistake of pulling one of the curtains to the side to look out the window, only to be immediately met with searing pain on your hand from the sun. It was hours before your Maker came back to check on you.

Dimitri shook his head, “Isaac wasn’t the most…thoughtful of Maker’s.”

You sat up on the bed, laughing a little, “that's putting it mildly.”

“Have you heard from him at all?”

“Not since ‘84, and even that was too much.”

Dimitri chuckled slightly before turning towards the door, “you should come downstairs, Portia and Magnus are finally back from their holiday. They’d love to see you.”

You shook your head and looked back at Josh, “no, I’m good…I’m staying up here.”

He smiled warmly, “I meant what I said last night, that you must mean a lot to him. Some people beg to be turned for other reasons, power, immortality, staying young forever, but he simply didn’t want to see you hurt. He didn’t even hesitate once he heard the terms. Love like that is rare.”

The l-word caught you off guard and you sputtered, “I don’t know…I mean…we’ve barely even…it's kind of soon for that.”

“We’re Vampires, darling, since when do we care about time?” You were silent, trying to will the blush away from your skin. Before he left the room, he said, “if you need anything, just call for Phillip. He’ll bring you anything you need.”

You resisted the urge to make a smartass comment about Phillip, “thank you, Dimitri.”

“Any time, darling,” he said before disappearing down the hall.

Josh remained still in the bed, having not moved very much at all in the last few hours. You reached over and brushed his curls back again, and you weren’t sure if you were soothing Josh or soothing yourself.

As the hours passed, you could not fight off sleep any longer, eventually letting it wash over you as you laid beside your lover. It wasn’t a restful sleep, in fact you found yourself waking up every other hour or so. Each time you’d sit up and check the time, noting how long it had been. You were still so full from the draining that you couldn’t even fathom feeding for at least a couple more days. Dimitri had checked in a few more times, sitting beside the bed to keep you company, but you turned down any invitation to come downstairs. You couldn’t risk it. You couldn’t miss him waking up, you were not going to chance Josh waking up frightened and alone. You wouldn’t let history repeat itself.

~!~

Miles away, a now solitary hunter paced around his brother’s apartment. He had not felt ‘right’ in hours. Specifically, sixteen hours and five minutes. His Witch had tried to calm him down several times, but this was something she couldn’t fix. Not with her words, not with her love, and not with her magic.

~!~

It was the second night now, and you were dozing next to him. Movement next to you had you snapping your eyes open, and you saw Josh had rolled over on his side, facing you. His eyes were still closed, but his brows were knitted tightly together, and a frown was fixed on his face.

You reached out, wanting to smooth your hand over his face, but his hand shot out from under the covers and snatched your wrist midair. The reflex was too fast, and his grip was too hard to be…human. Your entire body froze.

Suddenly his eyes snapped open, his brown eyes staring at you, but not seeing you. You were flipped onto your back as he hovered over you, hand still gripping your wrist next to your head. He was still looking at you as if he didn’t recognize you. That was common after a Vampire wakes up, as the adjustment period was far longer than the movies and books would lead you to believe.

“Boy Scout…,” you whispered slightly, hoping to jog his memory.

A low rumble came from his chest in response. That was another thing, it often took Vampires a little while to regain the ability to speak.

Breathing heavily over you, his eyes raked down your form and his other hand reached towards your face. Those soft fingertips of his grazed your cheek, tracing your bone structure, your nose, and down your neck. His hand curled around your neck, his thumb slid across your jaw and landed on your lips, a familiar move he had done many times.

You remained stock still, letting him explore. His eyes hadn’t met yours again, instead he was staring down at your lips while his thumb rubbed your bottom lip a few times. Taking a chance, you slightly puckered your lips to kiss the pad of his thumb. He blinked several times before finally looking up and into your eyes. There he was. His eyes softened immediately and he opened his mouth to speak but no sound came out. He tried again, but it wasn’t happening for now.

“It’s ok…you don’t have to talk right now, Josh,” you whispered.

Instead, he crashed his lips onto yours, and sank his body down to rest fully on top of you. The hand wrapped around your wrist let go and slid up to thread his fingers in yours, which you gladly squeezed back. Now it was your turn to reach up and cup his face, feeling his muscles move as he tilted his head to get a better angle.

But the sweet moment was cut short by him wrenching away from your face in pain. He sat up and straddled your waist, hands covering his mouth as he groaned into his palms. His fangs. They were trying to come down but he didn’t know how to relax and let it happen. Contrary to how they’re depicted in various forms of media, fangs don’t just instantly ‘click’ down. It's a skill. A skill one has to learn and hone in order to be able to feed properly and efficiently.

You carefully sat up and gently took his hands away from his face. His eyes looked scared again, and you quickly shushed him and softly spread your thumbs across his upper lip where his gums were. He winced a little at the sensitivity as his hands rested on your forearms.

“It's your fangs trying to come out for the first time. You have to relax, Josh,” he looked at you skeptically, “they can’t come down until you relax. Breathe through your nose for me? Yeah?”

He fully sat down on your thighs, and did what he was told and took deep breaths through his nose. His eyes were trained on you the entire time. He could feel his teeth begin to move, his canine teeth especially. It felt like an invisible force was prying them out of his mouth.

“I know it hurts, it always does the first few times, but soon you won’t even feel it happening, I promise,” your thumbs moved to his cheeks, your right one resting where his dimple normally was.

He nodded slightly and leaned into your hand, trying to stay relaxed.

“Watch me, ok?” You opened your mouth, baring your teeth and took a few deep breaths and slowly let down your own fangs. After over 350 years, it was hard to slow down the process, as you could complete the action as fast as blinking at this point, but you tried your best so your hunter-turned-Vampire could see it for himself. He studied the movement as it happened, finally having a proper visual to mentally focus on.

After a few more deep breaths, his teeth shifted again, this time down, but not all the way. A smile lit up your face as he parted his lips to show you, and you whispered praises to him as he continued breathing. With a slight groan, his teeth descended all the way, and you saw his fangs for the first time.

You stared in awe. While you met him as a human, seeing fangs in his mouth looked so…natural on him, as if they had always been there. Unexpected tears formed in your eyes, as it really hit you that he was a Vampire now, he was like you, and the two of you were the same.

“Beautiful…,” you mused while touching one with your thumb, “do you want to see them?”

He nodded, and you looked around to see if there was a mirror. The closest thing you had was your phone, and you quickly snatched it off the nightstand and turned the camera on, flipping it to selfie-mode and handing it to Josh. He turned the phone over in his hands and held it in front of his face. It was definitely strange to see protruding fangs in his mouth, but they didn’t feel out of place. He ran his tongue over them a few times, feeling how sharp they were, how much longer they were from his other teeth, and he turned his head back and forth to see them at different angles. Satisfied, he tossed your phone to the side on the bed before turning back to you and cupping your face once more to collide his lips to yours, this time smiling into the kiss.

It had been so long since you’ve kissed a fellow Vampire, especially one you lov- had feelings for. Your tongue slid across his teeth, feeling the contours and length of his fangs, and it was your turn to smile against his lips. He laid you back down onto the bed, shifting his legs so that he was between yours. His lips were everywhere, kissing all over your face and playfully scraping the tips against your skin.

But the urge to drive them into your neck, to fully taste you in a way he couldn’t when he was human, was reaching a boiling point in his system. He was putting more and more pressure against your neck, but not breaking the skin…yet.

You quickly recognized what he was doing, what he wanted, and you pushed him away so that he was back over your face instead.

“As much…as much as I’d love for you to do that…your first feed has to be with human blood…,” you were almost sad in telling him no, but this was a process that wasn’t fully complete until he tasted human blood for himself. It was what fully sealed a Vampire in their new form of existence, the full stop at the end of a sentence. Sheepishly, he closed his lips over his teeth, feeling like he had done something wrong. You caught the look in his eyes and quickly reassured him, “no no, it's ok, we’ll have plenty of time to do that afterwards, I promise.” You figured Dimitri himself would have a human or two on hand for feeding, as he was never a fan of blood bags.

As if on cue, the older Vampire in question rapped his knuckles on the door as he opened it.

“Is our dear-,” before he could finish his sentence Josh immediately shifted on the bed and practically shielded you from Dimitri, his instincts taking over briefly. Dimitri held up his hands in truce, “now now, Joshua I’m not going to do anything. It's wonderful to see you awake and back with us.”

You sat up behind Josh, looking at Dimitri over his shoulder, “you wouldn’t happen to have a human on hand? Please?”

“About that…after we talked earlier I let the Council know about your decision and that you were handling it yourself. They insisted on sending a representative here to make sure it actually happened.” He sighed before continuing, “Judith…is downstairs in the conservatory waiting for you.”

“Right now? He still can’t talk! He needs to have his first feed.”

“I know, darling, I didn't expect them to send her this quickly,” he rolled his eyes as he said ‘her’, letting you know that Judith was not one of his friends on the Council. “I’ll give you a few minutes, but it’ll be better for everyone if you don’t keep her waiting.” With a sympathetic look, he closed the door behind him, leaving the two of you alone.

“I’m so sorry, Josh, I didn’t kn-,” he turned and pressed a finger to your lips and shook his head, shushing you and letting you know that he understood. He got off the bed and collected his clothes from earlier that you had folded and placed on the couch. He threw his shirt on as he walked towards the ensuite at the far end of the room. You had already dressed while you had waited for him to wake up, so you sat at the edge of the bed and let him get ready. As he walked to the ensuite, you couldn’t help but notice that his walk was slightly different. His shoulders were straighter, his strides were quieter but more deliberate. You wondered if he himself even noticed the changes yet. From the angle of where you were sitting, you could just barely see himself checking his teeth out in the mirror again. His fangs had retreated back into his gums, and now his top row of teeth looked completely normal.

His eyes looked at you through the mirror, catching your gaze. He smirked at you, before turning to finish getting dressed. As he exited the ensuite he locked eyes with you again and in an attempt at his new speed, he tried to race over to you. However, stopping was a completely different story, and he ended up tackling you onto the bed.

Giggling, you reached up and traced his nose with your finger, “don’t worry, you’ll get there, Boy Scout.” You lifted your head to kiss him, and whispered against his lips, “come on, let's get this over with.”

It wasn’t hard to find the conservatory, all you had to do was follow the classical music being played. Just like the rest of the manor, Dimitri spared no expense in this room either. It was a massive space, with a complete wall of windows that went from the floor all the way into the ceiling, creating a dome-like appearance. It was a perfect view of the stars at night, and a perfectly lethal place for a Vampire to be in after sunrise. He also had so many plants in the room it almost looked like a small forest in the room. Most of the flowering plants had closed their blooms for the night, and the evergreens sat peacefully in their pots. The main source of light in the room were the various lanterns that were strategically placed among the greenery. It created such an intimate atmosphere, especially with the light of the Waning Moon filtering in from the windows above.

The beauty of the room stopped when you spotted the Council member sitting rather stiffly on the couch towards the middle of the room. Judith, as Dimitri called her, was a Vampire who appeared to be in her late fifties, with blonde hair that was so faded it almost looked gray at certain angles. She had it in a tight ponytail, making her sharp cheekbones the main feature of her face. Her eyes were equally gray, and they narrowed at the sight of Josh.

“Ah, finally, there they are,” she said in mock enthusiasm.

“Judith please,” Dimitri said with a sigh while nursing a drink in his hand.

Josh’s hand slid into yours as you made your way to the center of the room. His expression was neutral, but you knew his mind was full of thoughts and words for the snotty Vampire in front of him.

Judith uncrossed her ankles and stood up, clipboard firmly in the crook of her arm. She gave you a look that let you know to let her look at Josh alone, and you reluctantly let go of his hand and went over to stand next to Dimitri. Her back was to you now, but you were still able to maintain eye contact with Josh.

“Open your mouth,” she commanded flatly. She wanted to see his fangs.

Josh looked at you briefly over her shoulder, starting to panic because he had only made his fangs come down once at this point, and was still getting the hang of it. He put his hands behind his back and wrung his wrists, trying to remember what you had told him.

You kept eye contact with him, and motioned for him to take some deep breaths and to relax. Dimitri nodded along next to you; he wanted Josh to succeed almost as much as you did.

Josh’s Adams apple bobbed a little before he opened his mouth. He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths, trying to replicate how he had done it upstairs less than an hour ago. Judith stood there, staring at his teeth with an unimpressed look on her face. But after a few tense minutes, his fangs descended and locked in place.

Judith made a small “hmph” sound and reached into the pocket of her skirt to fish out a measuring tape. She held the tape next to one of his fangs, and wrote down the measurement on the clipboard. She switched to the other side to get the other’s measurement, before mumbling loud enough for everyone to hear, “it's ok they’ll get longer in time.”

Josh clamped his mouth shut and gave her a look that was so pointed, you were glad he wasn’t able to actually speak. But the way his eyes glared at her spoke volumes on their own.

Judith ignored him while she made notes on the clipboard, scribbling away her thoughts and observations.

“Has he fed yet,” she said without looking up.

“Umm…no, not yet-”

“Excellent. Bring in one of your humans, Dimitris,” she commanded as she finished her notes and looked back up at Josh.

Dimitri sighed and took a long sip of his drink before motioning to one of his staff to fetch one of his human companions. He always had a steady supply of willing humans who were into being fed on. He had a knack for finding them in the haystack that was humanity.

Josh looked at you again over Judith’s shoulder, the same panicky look from before had returned on his face.

You mouthed, it's going to be ok, at him as the door opened and a woman in her mid twenties entered the room.

Her eyes lit up when she saw Dimitri, “hi Dimitri…,” she gave him a flirty wave with her fingers.

“Pleasure as always, Rebeckah,” he said with a small smile. She already knew where to go and dutifully went over to the couch and sat down, keeping her eyes on Dimitri the whole time.

Judith motioned for Josh to join Rebeckah, and made his way over to the couch and sat down. You started to follow him before she barked, “I’d like to witness this alone, actually.”

Something in you snapped, “the fuck you wi-”

Dimitri quickly stepped in, “what she’s trying to say is, as his Maker, I think it’s more than fair for her to be in the room for his first feed? Since he doesn’t know what he’s doing, she has a right to be here. In fact it would be the responsible thing to do, don’t you agree?”

Judith rolled her eyes, “fine, but she can’t interfere. The Council wants to see how he does on his own.”

The Council didn’t want to see shit, you thought, they wanted him to fail. They wanted the ‘I told you so.’

Dimitri’s large hand landed on your shoulder, giving you a comforting squeeze.

“Very well,” he said in a clipped tone.

You looked up at Dimitri, the worry written all over your face. He gave your shoulder another squeeze.

Tentatively, Josh reached over and took Rebeckah’s wrist in his hand, figuring that would be the best place. He could feel her pulse through her arm, and it made his gums above his fangs throb. He felt is instincts trying to guide him, which was a good sign until-

“Oh not the wrist, it's your first feed after all, I know you really want the neck deep down,” she was practically taunting him at this point, and turned back to the older Vampire and used his own words against him, “don’t you agree, Dimitris?”

Dimitri’s mouth twisted into a frown, “it is the ideal spot I suppose…”

You were practically vibrating with rage right now, and you wanted to physically rip Judith’s head off her body yourself. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. You were supposed to be right there with him, guiding him through it and making sure he didn’t take too much.

“Don’t be shy, get closer to her,” Judith said while flicking her wrist at Josh.

Rebeckah obliged first and scooted close to him, angling her head to expose her neck. The smell of her blood filled his nostrils, and at first he thought he was hallucinating. He knew his senses would be stronger, but actually experiencing it was completely different.

Judith had her back to you and Dimitri once again, and you used this to your advantage as you looked at Josh over her shoulder. You feigned scratching your neck to show him where to put his hand, which he immediately copied.

He lowered his face to her neck, the scent of her blood was almost overwhelming to him now and it was still safely in her body. Part of him was running on pure instinct, and getting impatient that he hadn’t sunk his teeth into her yet, whereas the other part of him was having an out of body experience as the reality of the situation hit him. He was really about to drink blood, as a Vampire, for the first time. However, the instinctual side of him won out and he pressed his new fangs against her neck. He could feel her pulse against his teeth, and with the same ‘fuck it’ mentality one has before a shot of tequila, he pierced her flesh and her blood began flowing into his mouth.

Rebeckah made a small squeak, but she relaxed in his hold and a serene smile spread across her face.

Josh breathed through his nose and took his first real pull from her, and the sudden burst of flavor nearly had his eyes rolling back. He never expected blood to taste this good, let alone have a flavor profile. He recalled the taste of blood as he remembered it from his youth, that gross metallic flavor that would fill his mouth whenever he’d lose a tooth, or that one time Jake hit him in the mouth while they were fighting and cut his lip open. But now? Now he was getting notes of…lilies? Lavender maybe? It was all so overwhelming he wasn’t sure, he just knew that it was good. He kept pulling and pulling, feeling it run out of his mouth a little and down his chin.

You on the other hand were watching him like a hawk, and listening to Rebeckah’s heartbeat even closer. It was still steady and normal, but you knew it wouldn’t be that way for much longer. The way Josh was pulling was very deep, but he didn’t understand that yet. If you hadn’t been so stressed about your lack of involvement, you would’ve noted how absolutely gorgeous he looked while feeding. He needed to slow down, if not stop completely. You thought back to your first feed, and it didn’t end well for the human involved because you had zero guidance. Isaac had just let you do what you wanted and cleaned up the mess later. But you didn’t want that for Josh, he didn’t deserve to be traumatized right out of the gate like that.

He didn’t want this to end, part of him wanted to keep going until he couldn’t anymore. But this low thumping noise in his head got slower, and it was then he realized he had been hearing her heartbeat the entire time. It was slowing down, and he had just enough wherewithal to know he needed to let go. But knowing and doing were two different things.

You were starting to panic, and you looked at Josh, hoping he’d look up just long enough to make eye contact with you. Judith started scribbling notes again, and you wanted to crack that entire clipboard over her head. You thought about faking a cough, making some sort of noise, but you didn’t want her to send you out of the room for ‘interfering.’

Josh wrenched his eyes open, and looked up to find you. He saw your eyes were watery and filled with panic, and he understood why. From your vantage point, you mouthed the words, “you need to let go,” to him, and he wanted to listen, he really did, but it was as if his mouth and his brain weren’t working together. But, he tried anyway, and loosened his grip on Rebeckah’s neck and slowly worked at dislodging his fangs from her neck. He fought the urge that was screaming at him to keep going, to drain her dry like a juice box, but he refused to let that voice win. With more force than he would’ve liked, he pulled his teeth from her neck, and let go of her completely.

Before he could fully relax, he saw you point at your teeth, and then patted the side of your neck with those same fingers, silently telling him to use his blood to heal the bite. Josh sprung into action, quickly and hastily biting his index finger, breaking the skin and rubbing his own blood amongst her own on her neck along the puncture wounds. Within seconds they began to close and he was able to lean back on the couch, out of breath.

Judith paused for a second in her scribbling, and looked at her watch on her wrist and wrote down the time. She observed Rebeckah for another minute, who seemed completely fine with the situation and was only slightly miffed she had blood on her dress.

Dimitri gestured at the staff member standing by the door, “please take Miss Rebeckah to the kitchens to get her something to eat. Have the chef make her whatever she wants.”

Rebeckah smiled and stood up from the couch, “and what about my dress?”

“I’ll get you a new one, as always,” this made her smile as she made her way out of the room.

Without a second glance at Josh, Judith turned back to Dimitri and sighed, “I’ll give my observations to the Council but everything seems to be fine.” She looked at Josh over her shoulder, “welcome to your new life, don’t fuck up. We know who your family is, after all.”

Josh glared at her as she exited the room. Dimitri gave you a nod and left as well, leaving the two of you alone.

As soon as the door shut you rushed over to Josh, your hands immediately took his, as apologies fell from your mouth, “I’m so fucking sorry I didn’t know that was going to happen, you weren’t supposed to be alone like that-”

“...sw-sweetheart…,” his voice was so faint, but it was there. He was gaining his voice back. Relief flooded through you, you didn’t realize just how much you missed his voice until he spoke again. You couldn’t take it anymore and practically lept into his lap and wrapped your arms around him, burying your face in his neck. His arms instantly wrapped around your waist, pulling you closer. He was so thankful to finally get his hands on you.

After spending several minutes just lying in his arms and breathing him in, you pulled back and said, “are you ok? How do you feel?”

A dreamy smile spread across his face, “honestly? I feel fucking incredible right now.” His voice was still scratchy, but it was gradually getting stronger.

You smiled back, “yeah? You did so good earlier, I want you to know that. They were setting you up to screw up but you didn’t. It's so difficult to stop like you did the first few times, let alone the first time. I’m so proud of you, Boy Scout.”

His cheeks reddened at the praise, “Ah, I just…I just remembered what you told me about listening for the heartbeat…had to force myself off though.”

You were beaming at him now, “I’m not saying it's going to be easy, but I just know you’re going to be so good at it in no time. Next time I’ll be right there with you, I promise. I won’t let anyone get in the way of that again.”

His hands slipped under your shirt and rubbed the skin of your back, “I know you wanted to be there, it wasn’t your fault…”

“But I-”

“I don’t want you to beat yourself up over this, it happened, but all we can do is move forward.”

You knew he was right, but you still felt bad, “I know I just-”

“Next time we can share, yeah?”

That surprised you, and you smirked at him, “Boy Scout…”

He glanced out the wall of windows, and noticed the dark blue sky was starting to get lighter, “I think…I think we need to go back upstairs…and shut the windows…,” the suggestion dripped from his voice.

“Race you there?”

“You better get started, sweetheart…,” his eyes bore into yours before you took off from the conservatory. The two of you were a pair of giggling blurs rushing up the stairs to the third floor. He caught up to you at the door, and lurched to a halt while pressing you up against the solid wood. You reached behind you to start twisting the doorknob as he snaked an arm around your waist. His eyes looked even darker in the dim lighting of the corridor, but his smile was sweet, a combination that only he could pull off.

Stumbling into the room, Josh locked the door behind him before reaching down and firmly gripping your thighs and wrapping them around his waist. He carried you backwards to the bed, while you stripped your shirt off and threw it blindly to the side. Your hands instantly returned to his cheeks as he laid you on the bed. He stood up momentarily to throw off his own shirt, before crawling up the bed and getting on top of you. The rest of your clothes were quickly shed, leaving the both of you naked.

Josh’s mouth devoured yours, sucking on your bottom lip before he slipped his tongue inside and tangled it with your own. You moaned into his mouth, the relief of him being okay and back in your arms spurring you on. He groaned and lifted off your lips slightly, running his tongue along his top teeth. He looked at you, a little annoyed at his own body as his fangs tried to descend again.

You recognized the look, and you smiled, “don’t fight it, Josh. Let them down, I wanna see them again…”

He closed his eyes for a few seconds and concentrated. They came down ever so slightly faster this time, but he still winced at the pain.

Staring at him, you reached up and gently touched one with your finger, “I just can’t get over how beautiful they look on you…”

His cheeks reddened before he started working his way down your body, kissing every bit of skin he could reach. Every so often he’d drag his fangs across your skin, causing you to arch your back. As he made his way down to your core, he deliberately skipped where you needed him most to pay attention to your thighs.

You sat up on your elbows and made a noise in protest, which made him chuckle against your skin. One of the few downsides (at least to him) to you being a supernatural creature was that any hickey’s he made would heal within minutes, but he loved littering your skin with them anyway. The way you arched towards him, trying to get him where you needed him only made him tease you further. Every time you thought he was going to put that perfect mouth of his against your core, he’d switch to the other thigh to nip and suck at your skin.

“If you don’t-”

Before you could finish your sentence your lover latched onto your core, flattening out his tongue and licking a stripe from your entrance to just below your clit. A frustrated noise escaped you, and his eyes met yours with the most mischievous energy behind them. Those pools of molten molasses seemed to darken even more. Tilting his head slightly and curling his lip up to show you his teeth, he drug one of his new fangs over the edges of your lips, up and up, and slowly circled your clit. He put just enough pressure for you to feel the sharp edge against your sensitive flesh, before diving in and sharply sucking your clit into his mouth. You cried out, loud enough to echo around the room, and you couldn’t give a shit if anyone in this fortress of a house could hear you.

Two of his fingers teased your entrance before plunging in, curling upwards and giving that spot inside you all the attention they could. His pace was quick and brutal, spurred on but the grip you had in in his hair and how you were practically fucking his mouth. He grinded his own need onto the mattress, desperate for some friction of his own.

It wasn’t long before your first orgasm of the night washed over you, making you shake beneath him while grinding on his face. His fingers worked even harder to ride it out, drawing it out as long as possible for you. But he didn’t give you a chance to fully still. Placing one final kiss to your clit, he crawled up your body to claim your mouth, letting you taste yourself all over him.

You were far from done when you flipped him over, straddling his hips and grinding against his cock. He threw his head back and made the sexiest whining sound you had heard in a long time. He sat up and gripped your ass, lifting you up to wrap your legs around his waist.

“Tell me what you want…,” he whispered against your mouth while keeping you hovered just above his cock.

“Josh please-”

“Josh please, what, sweetheart?”

“I need you, don’t be mean,” your voice was nearly an octave higher than normal, and now it was your turn to sound whiny.

“...and what do you need?”

Your nails dug into the skin at the base of his neck, not caring if they broke skin a little now, he could handle it.

“Your cock, Josh, I need your cock.”

His eyebrows raised in the cockiest manner, “oh? This? This cock?” Before you could answer he pulled you down onto him, plunging him deep inside as he bottomed out. His eyes rolled back at finally being inside you, and you used this distraction to tighten your pussy around him as revenge. A strangled noise left his throat, “you are…such…a little brat…”

You smirked as you started to work yourself on his cock, relishing in every ridge and vein he had to offer you. He kept one arm around your ass, guiding you and gripping you as he leaned back on his other hand. As your pace quickened, you felt your own gums start to itch and move. You let your fangs descend, not wanting or needing to hold back anymore while with your lover. He was kissing your shoulder, and you leaned your head down to graze your teeth against the shell of his ear.

He lifted his head, and gave you an equally toothy grin, both of you baring your fangs at each other.

“Boy Scout…,” you started, nearly breathless, “remember earlier when I told you to wait?” He instantly caught on to what you were referring to, when he had almost bit you earlier. His Adam's apple bobbed as he nodded. “If I let you do that…can I bite you too?”

His cock twitched inside you at the question, “please, please do…”

“Taste me, Josh, show me you know how,” you whispered.

Another strangled sound escaped him before he lowered his head and pierced your neck with his fangs. It had been…a long time, decades even, since you had had a Vampire taste you. It was such an intimate act, most considered it almost sacred.

Josh took a long pull off of you, and the first note that hit his tongue was a distinct cherry flavor, tart but sweet, along with a distinct undercurrent of sea salt. He could practically smell the ocean. Flashes and sounds started to flood his mind, swirling around in his mind's eye. They focused, and he saw you, as a teen in Jamestown, scrubbing the floors of the house you used to live in. A second flash, it's the Victorian era, and you’re giggling in bed with another man. You called him Colin before it dissipated. Another flash, it’s twenties and you look sad as you sipped your drink. You were surrounded by people partying, but you weren’t matching the energy. A final flash, this time it's the seventies and you look darling in your bell bottoms and feathered hair. You seemed happier then, laughing with a few girlfriends in a bar.

The feeling of his fangs in your skin hurtled you toward your second orgasm. Before you could reach your high, you bit down on your lover's flesh. His taste…his taste was the same, but it was so much more vibrant? As if it had been turned up several notches. That orangey citrus flooded your senses, and as the vanilla showed itself to you, flashes started behind your eyes too. A small, scared, seven year old Josh scrambled to stab a rogue Vampire in the leg with a knife from under his bed. Another flash, this time Josh was older, late teens at best, getting lectured by his father about a hunting job gone wrong. The importance of his responsibility as the “oldest” was being drilled into his head. Flash number three, Josh is sitting next to his twin in front of a fire, laughing at some inside joke as he brings his beer to his lips. Who knew Jake Kiszka was capable of smiling? The final flash was him gathering some files on a table, the one on top had your name clearly on the tab. He wasn’t in his apartment, but in a room that looked like an office.

Your vision went dark as your high overtook you, making you shake and pulse around him. His cock twitched inside you again, and a muffled groan shuddered against your skin letting you know he had reached his own high. Carefully, you each withdrew your teeth and lapped at the fresh blood on your skin as your wounds healed.

Josh kissed you softly, mixing your blood with his, enjoying the taste. He opened his eyes and smiled at you, feeling more content and happy than he had in days. The stress from the past week had completely evaporated, and in this moment, all he saw, all he cared about, was you.

His Vampire.

The adoration for him was written all over your face, and you silently noted the blood smeared all over him. You looked over your shoulder at the ensuite, and could see the edge of a clawfoot tub from the doorway.

“Lets get cleaned up, Boy Scout…”

His grin widened and he looked over your shoulder, seeing what you were looking at. He also saw the first light of the day start to filter in through the windows. Thankfully the bed was positioned in a way that didn’t put it anywhere near them, but in order to get the ensuite they’d have to cross them. Carefully he kept you in place as he reached for the remote on the nightstand.

He punched the buttons, and the shades came down. His hand squeezed the flesh of your ass, “only the moon gets a free show, sweetheart…”

You gave him a quick kiss before crawling off of him and leading him into the bathroom. Soon, the both of you were situated in the hot water, enjoying the extra wide clawfoot tub.

Josh tried to take the lead in cleaning up, but you stopped him and took it upon yourself to clean the blood off of his skin. He relaxed into the water as you swept the rag over his skin. Meticulously you cleaned any dry blood out of his beard and mustache, kissing him as you went. It had been a long time since someone had properly taken care of him afterwards.

It was clear to you that the new-Vampire exhaustion was creeping up on your lover, and you worked a little faster to get him cleaned up so the two of you could return to bed. He would probably have another long sleep again, but not nearly as long as that first one. The process of becoming a Vampire was complete, but it still took time for the body to adjust.

Soon you were back in bed with him, the covers pulled over your exhausted bodies as you wrapped yourselves around each other. His ear was on your chest, and you were softly grazing your nails against his scalp. His eyes were closed, and sleep was well on its way.

He pressed a soft kiss against your skin before mumbling, “...love you…”

You stared at him as he completely stilled in your arms, eyes welling up,

“Love you too, Boy Scout,” but you weren’t sure he heard it.

To be continued…

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#josh kiszka #josh kiszka x reader #i see hell in your eyes #josh gvf #greta van fleet #enemies to lovers #slow burn

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