#i shouldn't have to do this
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grrrrrrr having to do my psych notes >:(
#otherkin#alterhuman#otherkinity#alterhumanity#otherhearted#otherheart#foxhearted#foxkin#fox kin#i shouldn't have to do this#i should be frolicking
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ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ
hey guys. I know alot it happening right now, and alot of people are scared. But it will be okay. These next four years will shape our future as a country, and as a people. I know that hearing this stuff from a literal CHILD might not be very comforting, but I will say this: Benjamin Franklin said "We have a democracy, if we can keep it."
So let's keep it.
Dont let these times bring you down. Learn to stand up, and FIGHT. We all fought, so why stop now? Right when we almost had it??? Let's keep fighting. Please. Give me, the rest of my generation, and those that come after... give us a country to be proud of. Give us a country we are PROUD to have grown up in.
Lets do this.
#reblog#let's do this#decision 2024#election 2024#harris walz 2024#comfort#i shouldn't have to do this#but here we are#So fight#fight for freedom
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The frustrating, soul-crushing experience of trying to find a job despite being Just A Fox and knowing you shouldn't have to do this at all
#vent#I'm not a fucking person#I shouldn't have to do this#I'm literally just a fox#nonhuman#born to fox#forced to person
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Finally tackle tax filing. Use the same free file service I used last year. Get all the way to the end to discover state filing is no longer free. *Shrug* That's fine, I'll just print and mail the state return. NOPE. They still want to charge me FORTY DOLLARS for the privilege of using my OWN PRINTER. LLLLlllooooooollllllllllllll
Pick a new service from the STATE's tax return site. Wants me to me start all over. I would rather not start all over. Think, okay, I'll just plug in the data in the fillable form on the state site; should be simple enough and not require too much intruction-reading. Haha, no, "fillable" is not fully manually fillable and ALSO wants me to start all over so it can automagically grab data from the federal return.
UGH. FINE. I'LL START OVER.
Go back to service I initially picked from state's site and started an account with. Think, "Why do all of the government-recommended sites look so fucking sketch? This 1996 Russian basement aesthetic does not fill me with confidence." At least it means it's actually really fast to input all of the data all over again and no one here is pretending to be my friend.
ALL RETURNS FILED. FOR FREE. And the numbers all came out exactly the same, which is reassuring.
tl;dr: Day 50 billionty of ∞ of hating my fucking country
#I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DO THIS#THINK OF THE MONEY WE COULD SAVE#THINK OF HOW MUCH MORE PATRIOTIC I WOULD BE IF MY COUNTRY ACTUALLY FUCKING DID SOMETHING USEFUL FOR ME FOR ONCE
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listen I know it's heartbreaking that Claudia dies and it's understandable to wish she didn't, but let's please not accuse the writers of fridging her. to do so is a fundamental misunderstanding of the story and is frankly insulting to the intelligence and skill of the writers of the show.
Claudia's death, and the overwhelming grief and regret her parents experience because of it, is quite literally the point of the entire story. she dies because Anne's daughter Michele died of leukemia when she was five years old and there was nothing she or her husband could do to prevent it.
writing IWTV was how Anne coped with the unimaginable loss of a parent losing her child. she created a story about a little girl that could not die and then killed her anyway. Claudia's death is a senseless, unavoidable tragedy, just like Michele's was. the grief that haunts Louis and Lestat for the rest of their lives is the same grief that haunted Anne and her husband.
so when you're accusing people of killing Claudia off to benefit a story about two men, please remember that in real life sometimes parents lose their children. please remember Michele Rice.
she's the reason Claudia exists.
she's also the reason Claudia cannot be saved.
#interview with the vampire#claudia de lioncourt#iwtv#lestat de lioncourt#louis de pointe du lac#saw some rancid takes on twitter and i just can't not say something#like how do you encounter a story so clearly about the fathomless grief that comes with losing a child and blaming your partner and yoursel#and somehow finding a way to live again after years and years of suffering--not forgetting NEVER forgetting--but living and loving again#and go 'the writers just hate women. claudia should never have died'#like you're right that Claudia shouldn't have died. Michele shouldn't have died either.#but she did. and so Claudia did. and her parents will never stop grieving her.#iwtv spoilers
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hey btw if you're in the USA at 2:20 p.m. ET on Wednesday, Oct. 4, they're testing the emergency broadcast system. your phone is probably going to make a really loud noise, even if it's on silent. there's a backup date on the 11th if they need to postpone it.
if you're not in a safe situation and have an extra phone, you should turn that phone completely off beforehand.
additionally, if you're like me, and are easily startled; i recommend treating it like a party. have a countdown or something. be surrounded by your loved ones. take the actions you personally need to take to make yourself safe.
i have already seen mockery towards any person who feels nervous about this. for the record, it completely, completely valid to have "emergency broadcast sounds" be an anxiety trigger. do not let other people make fun of you for that. emergency sounds are legitimately engineered to make us take action; those of us with high levels of anxiety and/or neurodivergence are already pre-disposed to have a Bad Time. sometimes it is best to acknowledge that the situation will be triggering for some, and to prepare for that; rather than just saying "well that's stupid, it's just a test."
"loud scary sound time" isn't like, my favorite thing, but we can at least try to prevent some additional anxiety by preparing for it. maybe get yourself a cake? noise cancelling headphones? the new hozier album? whatever helps. love u, hope you're okay. we are gonna ride it out together.
#watching ppl go from being like ''support neurodivergent ppl~~!"#to being like ''if this is going to give u a panic attack ur fuckken stupid''#like..... gets me#yeah man. i know im going to be triggered by it . in the old fashioned term. it is GOING to give me a panic attack. it's pretty much certai#and i shouldn't have to tell u about what i have survived for you to be okay with that.#you can just trust that i ALSO don't want me to react to it. i'm not gonna be having a FUN time.#dismissing that bc you think it's stupid.... like is the whole problem.#these sounds are workshopped by entire teams of people to get you to pay attention and move quickly.#they arent meant to be fun and exciting.#OBVIOUSLY it's gonna set ppl off.#but yeah there's something so fuckken demeaning about ppl being like. well that trigger isn't valid bc u haven't undergone X#dude i have ptsd bc i was abused as a child. like plain and simple. the fact im 30 and afraid of the dark tells you how bad it was.#i shouldn't have to ask u for permission to be mentally ill.#the reason it's a fucking disorder and not a fucking choice is that I DO NOT CONTROL IT.#like how is it any different from when ppl are like ''oh public speaking isn't that scary'' like FOR YOU#for YOU this isn't scary. now if i could fucking eat my own amygdala...
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does anyone know how to stop the body from keeping score? i have shit to do
#i have shit to do but i'm so bad at both going to sleep and staying asleep that it's been fucking up my life for years at this point#yes this about accidentally sleeping through class this morning but in my defense i had an atomic tummy moment at like 6 am :( which is#kind of my point? an reason for missing sleep shouldn't stop me from participating in my own life and i'm tired of rationing my waking hours#if sleep was optional i would be unstoppable essentially but alas. alack even. specifically a lack of sleep.#girl all the saints have it out for me today for skipping church on a holy day of obligation i guess. well fuck those guys.#a post
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istg the moment i saw jayce d**th threats i realised how much i overestimated cognitive abilities of this fandom. they were just happy to jump on a hate train without taking a second to comprehend what even happened. "his mind [fucking] suffered", viktor told y'all himself. not to mention what horrors he saw in arcane backrooms. not to mention viktor literally wanted him to destroy the hexcore before he became jesus and literally dumped him because he didn't do it.
#jayce haters will be shot on the spot#nobody has time and energy for yall#tbh after that viktor probably genuinely believed again he can do smth good with the cursed dark matter#but it all seemed like a simulation#nothing good ever came out of jayvik's separation#they shouldn't have left each other's side even for a SECOND#i love their story tho pls don't f it all up in act 3#arcane#arcane spoilers#arcane s2#arcane s2 spoilers#arcane season 2#jayvik#vikjayce#jayce talis#jayce arcane#viktor arcane#machine herald#text
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Kyle Weiss asked for a beach chimera over on patreon and so was born a little beach chimera made of a geoduck, a fat innkeeper worm, and a goose barnacle. she's beauty, she's grace, she's got 3 INCREDIBLY loose definitions of a face.
could I have made her out of more traditionally charismatic beach creatures? yes. but chaos reigns.
#geoduck#fat innkeeper worm#goose barnacle#chimera#she really shouldn't have little peets but as her creator i do what i want#rule of cool but for cuteness
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Please, if you can, take a moment to read and share this because I feel like I'm screaming underwater.
NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) stigma is rampant right now, and seems to be getting progressively worse. Everyone is using it as a buzzword in the worst ways possible, spreading misinformation and hatred against a real disorder.
I could go on a long time about how this happened, why it's factually incorrect (and what the disorder actually IS), why it's harmful, and the changes I'd like to see. But to keep this concise, I'll simply link to a few posts under the cut for further reading.
The point of this post is a plea. Please help stop the spread of stigma. Even in mental health communities, even around others with personality disorders, in neurodivergent "safe" spaces, other communities I thought people would be supportive in (e.g. trans support groups, progressive spaces in general), it keeps coming up. So I'm willing to bet that a lot of people on this site need to see this.
Because it's so hard to exist in this world.
My disorder already makes me feel as if I'm worthless and unlovable, like there's something inherently wrong and damaged about me. And it's so much harder to fight that and heal when my daily life consists of:
Laughing and spending time with my friends, doing my utmost best to connect and stay present and focused on them, trying to let my guards down and be real and believe I'm lovable- when suddenly they throw out the word "narcissist" to describe horrible people or someone they hate, or the conversation turns to how evil "people with narcissistic personality disorder" are. (Seriously, you don't know which of your friends might have NPD and feels like shit when you say those things & now knows that you'd hate them if you knew.)
Trying to look up "mental health positivity for people with npd", "mental health positivity cluster bs", only to find a) none of that, and b) more of the same old vile shit that makes me feel terrible about myself.
Having a hard time (which is constant at this point) and trying to look up resources for myself, only to again, find the same stigma. And no resources.
Not having any clue how to help myself, because even the mental health field is spitting so much vitriol at people with DISORDERS (who they're supposed to be helping!) that there's no solid research or therapy programs for people like me.
Losing close friends when they find out, despite us having had a good relationship before, and them KNOWING me and knowing that I'm not like the trending image of pwNPD. Because now they only see me through the lens of stigma and misinformation.
Hearing the same stigma come up literally wherever I go. Clubs. Meetings. Any online space. At the bus stop. At the mall. At a restaurant. At work. Buzzword of the year that everyone loooves loudly throwing around with their friends or over the phone. Feels awesome for me, makes my day so much better/s
I could go on for a long time, but I'm scared no one will read/rb this if it gets too much longer.
So please. Stop using the word "narcissist" as a synonym for "abusive".
Stop bringing up people you hate who you believe to have NPD because of a stigmatizing article full of misinformation whenever someone with actual NPD opens their mouth. (Imagine if people did that with any other disorder! "Hey, I'm autistic." "Oh... my old roommate screamed at me whenever I made noise around him, and didn't understand my needs, which seems like sensory overload and difficulty with social cues. He was definitely autistic. But as long as you're self-aware and always restraining your innate desire to be an abusive asshole, you're okay I guess, maybe." ...See how offensive and ignorant that is?)
Stop preventing healthcare for people with a disorder just because it's trendy to use us as a scapegoat.
If you got this far, thank you for reading, and please share this if you can. Further reading is under the cut.
NPD Criteria, re-written by someone who actually has NPD
Stigma in the DSM
Common perception of the DSM criteria vs how someone may actually experience them (Keep in mind that this is the way I personally experience these symptoms, and that presentation can vary a lot between individuals)
"Idk, the stigma is right though, because I've known a lot of people with NPD who are jerks, so I'm going to continue to support the blockage of treatment for this condition."
(All of these were written by me, because I didn't want to link to other folks' posts without permission, but if you want to add your own links in reblogs or replies please feel free <3)
#actuallynpd#signal boost#actuallyautistic#mental health awareness#narcissistic personality disorder#people also need to realize that mental health professionals aren't immune from bias#(it really shouldn't come as a shock that the mental health field has a longstanding pattern of misunderstanding and mistreating ppl who ar#mentally ill or otherwise ND)#the first therapist i brought up NPD to like. literally pulled out the DSM bc she could barely remember the criteria. then said that there'#no way I have it because I have low self-esteem lmaoooooo#anyway throwback to being at work and chatting with a co-worker. and the conversation turning to mental health. and him saying that#he tries to stay informed and be aware and supportive of mental health conditions & that he doesn't want to be ignorant or spread harmful#misinformation. and then i mentioned that i do a lot of research into mental health stuff and i listed a bunch of things. which included#several personality disorders. one of which was NPD.#and after listening to my whole ass list he zeroed in on the NPD and immediately started talking about how narcissists are abusive and#he knew someone who had NPD and how the person who had it had an addiction and died from the addiction in a horrible way and he#was glad he did#fun times#or when i decided to be vulnerable and talk abt my self-criticism/self-hatred bc i knew my friends also struggled w that and i wanted to#support them by sharing my own coping methods. and they both(separately!) started picking and prodding at my npd through the lens of stigma#bc i'd recently opened up to them abt having it. they recognized self-hatred as a symptom and still jumped on me for it. despite me#trying to share hurt vulnerable parts of myself to help them and connect with them.#again..... fun times
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fucking bonkers to me that people watch movies in theaters. you can't control the volume. you can't rewind when you miss something. you can't choose your own subtitles. you can't even pause to use the bathroom??? there's only like 7 movies to choose from????? and you must pay money for this privilege? grotesque. repugnance. act of torture.
#all while sitting in a room full of strangers breathing out their germs. repugnant#it must be fucking wild not to have sensory processing issues. you people are aliens#'but it's a bigger screen' not if you watch at home with a laptop balanced 5 inches from your face#which people probably shouldn't do but i continue doggedly onward regardless
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I wholeheartedly believe that the last thing that should be said in response to aspecs hating their identity is "don't worry! Aspecs can still do X, Y, and Z" and I'm so fucking serious about this.
The least helpful thing you can do to someone who have not accepted their aspec identity yet is give them ways to compensate for it. If an aspec person is upset over not being able to enter a romantic relationship, the last thing that should be done is to tell them they can still enter one or instead enter a QPR - not because that's not true but because that is quite literally going to stunt their ability to accept their aspec identity. Telling them they can instead enter a QPR when they're upset over the lack of romantic relationships is at MOST a bandaid for the main issue. Instead of them coming to accept their identity and accept who they are you have instead handed them an amatonormative alternative on a silver platter that allows them to pretend they still fit into amatonormativity without every deconstructing it. This is how we get QPRs getting shoved into an amatonormative framework - these people NEVER got over the "I'm sad that I'm aspec" phase because they were handed alternatives instead of given actual support in deconstructing their internalized aphobia, self hatred, and amatonormative biases.
#text#aspec#aro#aromantic#ace#asexual#aroace#I'm not saying that bringing up the fact that aspecs can still interact in certain ways to be Bad or Wrong btw#I'm not saying we shouldn't talk about how some aspecs have sex or some have partnerships or whatever#but more just that the only response to people complaining about certain issues shouldn't only be “Oh but you can do x”#someone who is mourning the fact they dont fit into amatonormativity shouldn't be told “oh but you can fit into amatonormativity”#Like idk maybe there should be a discussion about how many people use favorability and partnering to avoid properly healing?#maybe there should be a discussion about how often people only accept aspec identities based on how closely they fit amatonormativity?#maybe there is a discussion about how other aspecs play into that and never actually leave their “sad to be aspec” phase#the fact so many can only “accept” their aspec identity when they are told that they can still partake in amatonormativity#like idk i feel like discussions can be had here and i think these sorts of discussions need to be had#especially if we ever want to be on the same page when it comes to dismantling amatonormativity
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shuake cuddles <3 <3 (redrew an older piece and am much happier with it)
#persona 5#shuake#persona 5 royal#akeshu#p5r#akeshuake#amamiya ren#akechi goro#ren x akechi#Admittedly the colour palette has changed from the original and I DO want to draw with the old colour palette in something different#bc I want to be good at pure blue palettes and my issue in the old one was branching out of the blues when I shouldn't have#but shall try that another time
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I think depictions of Anya being cruel to Curly or drawing out his suffering are artful and chilling but completely miss the point of the story and her character.
I'm not saying she doesn't deserve to have that "I told you so" moment with him but not in something callous or cold. Even if that is how it happened, she'd immediately feel guilty cause at that point she's not tormenting her tormenter or even the person truly at fault. She's doing something cathartic, similar to how Jimmy likely hits Curly to release rage he can't against the rest of the crew. She'd see herself as no different when she'd come back from the moment and see Curly cowering at her. She wants someone to take responsibility but how does being cruel to the defenseless help? Why would she want the power Jimmy has over her over Curly?
The idea of her extending someone else's pain is just so against the struggles she already faces and how she can't even bring herself to cause someone pain even to help them. Her very desire is to release herself from her own suffering and I doubt she'd even fine some sort of guilty release in being cruel to another.
#anya is not a character i see taking agency or indulging in cathartic behaviors#not knowingly like i see her as a character trapped in her head and maybe in the scenario she's cruel to Curly she is envisioning Jimmy#in his place but its not a story about justice or those deserving of punishment and those not like its the opposite of people projecting#their issues on the wrong people and saying things to the wrong people and doing things they shouldn't but anya uniquely falls out of it as#she is subjected to a lot of it but it is also not something she wants to subject another person to like you are doing what Jimmy does and#placing ur rage into another persons and viewing their actions through your eyes like she'd more likely yell at him than do harm or#cause him more pain like at least make it in character#but also she clearly doesn't want to see jimmy or curly in the same light and doesnt because she still repeatedly goes to Curly for comfort#and protection and god there's like concepts that need to be applied to characters individually and then the story as a whole#we can not view the game through only one themed lens less we forget to inspect the compounding factor of Anya is so much more than girl#that needs to be allowed to go off but a woman that simply wants right to be done by her and no more harm like she doesn't want to be aroun#the suffering like idk but some of yall would just benefit from like understanding that people are inherently grey with the capabilities of#black n white thinking or actions#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#anya mouthwashing#i like her the most but then again i am defensive of all women in media and hate when people change the way the character would take agency#for themselves like yes I want her to tweak out but she just wouldn't and I like seeing realistic depictions of a woman suffering the way#she is like shes not the type at the end of the movie to have a one liner but feel a shallow freedom cause she needs to realistically heal#idk but its just like there is an obbsession forming with making her character her pain and not how she handles and navigates the issue
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one of the things that's the most fucking frustrating for me about arguing with climate change deniers is the sheer fucking scope of how much it matters. sweating in my father's car, thinking about how it's the "hottest summer so far," every summer. and there's this deep, roiling rage that comes over me, every time.
the stakes are wrong, is the thing. that's part of what makes it not an actual debate: the other side isn't coming to the table with anything to fucking lose.
like okay. i am obviously pro gun control. but there is a basic human part of me that can understand and empathize with someone who says, "i'm worried that would lead to the law-abiding citizens being punished while criminals now essentially have a superpower." i don't agree, but i can tell the stakes for them are also very high.
but let's say the science is wrong and i'm wrong and the visible reality is wrong and every climate disaster refugee is wrong. let's say you're right, humans aren't causing it or it's not happening or whatever else. let's just say that, for fun.
so we spend hundreds of millions of dollars making the earth cleaner, and then it turns out we didn't need to do that. oops! we cleaned the earth. our children grow up with skies full of more butterflies and bees. lawns are taken over with rich local biodiversity. we don't cry over our electric bills anymore. and, if you're staunchly capitalist and i need to speak ROI with you - we've created so many jobs in developing sectors and we have exciting new investment opportunities.
i am reminded of kodak, and how they did not make "the switch" to digital photography; how within 20 years kodak was no longer a household brand. do we, as a nation, feel comfortable watching as the world makes "the switch" while we ride the laurels of oil? this boggles me. i have heard so much propaganda about how america cannot "fall behind" other countries, but in this crucial sector - the one that could actually influence our own monopolies - suddenly we turn the other cheek. but maybe you're right! maybe it will collapse like just another silicone valley dream. but isn't that the crux of capitalism? that some economies will peter out eventually?
but let's say you're right, and i'm wrong, and we stopped fracking for no good reason. that they re-seed quarries. that we tear down unused corporate-owned buildings or at least repurpose them for communities. that we make an effort, and that effort doesn't really help. what happens then? what are the stakes. what have we lost, and what have we gained?
sometimes we take our cars through a car wash and then later, it rains. "oh," we laugh to ourselves. we gripe about it over coffee with our coworkers. what a shame! but we are also aware: the car is cleaner. is that what you are worried about? that you'll make the effort but things will resolve naturally? that it will just be "a waste"?
and what i'm right. what if we're already seeing people lose their houses and their lives. what if it is happening everywhere, not just in coastal towns or equatorial countries you don't care about. what if i'm right and you're wrong but you're yelling and rich and powerful. so we ignore all of the bellwethers and all of the indicators and all of the sirens. what if we say - well, if it happens, it's fate.
nevermind. you wouldn't even wear a mask, anyway. i know what happens when you see disaster. you think the disaster will flinch if you just shout louder. that you can toss enough lives into the storm for the storm to recognize your sacrifice and balk. you argue because it feels good to stand up against "the liberals" even when the situation should not be political. you are busy crying for jesus with a bullhorn while i am trying to usher people into a shelter. you've already locked the doors, even on the church.
the stakes are skewed. you think this is some intellectual "debate" to win, some funny banter. you fuel up your huge unmuddied truck and say suck it to every citizen of that shitbird state california. serves them right for voting blue!
and the rest of us are terrified of the entire fucking environment collapsing.
#spilled ink#writeblr#i hope it is clear here that i actually very much care about equatorial countries#and that's part of what makes me so angry bc im like. climate refugees exist.#they've existed for a while!!!#and the reply is almost always ''should have thought about that before living on an island"#like fuck dude. do you need to like how people vote before ur like#your entire house shouldn't burn down each summer????#so many of these people make it their life to mock california that they think it's FUNNY#and im like. girl you should be fucking trembling. TEXAS??? ARE YOU LISTENING??#this is one of those times that like. i need to stress how fucking stupid it would be#to let trump win. bc he could have “reached across the aisle.” covid could have been#a MASSIVE commercial success. he has such a huge and bigoted and brainwashed following.#literally just a PR campaign called COWBOY UP and it's pictures of cowboys in bandanas#trump reinvisioned as the lone ranger fighting for the american people against covid. EASY SELL#and instead. companies bought him. it became political. it was not ''oh shit this is 1 enemy let's all be human''#it was ''you deserve to die.''#climate change should be GLOBAL. it should be like ''yeah i hate u but. we do all live here''#i don't have to LIKE my group members to do well on a team project bc we are ALL getting graded.#is that simple enough of an under-explaination lol
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Deeply ill about the way Nemesis' interactions with Melinoë start at "You don't deserve this (you're not good enough)" and slowly morph into "You don't deserve this (you deserve better than this)"
#hades game#hades 2#nemesis#melinoë#melnem#LIKE. OH MY GOD. OH MY FUCKING GOD#nemesis whole *thing* is fairness. she can't handle when things are unfair. and the hand melinoe has been dealt is deeply unfair#the air of 'you shouldnt be doing this i should be doing it instead' stays but becomes 'this is a burden you shouldn't have to bear alone'#and i just. AAAAAAA
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