#i should probably start making actual posts about my au instead of hiding in the tags

[transformersbrainrot]

I'm sure this conversation has been posted here so many times. But I don't care. A long time ago, maybe four or five years back, when my Transformers hyperfixation first started to flare up, I found Chris McFeely's dramatic reading of these panels. That was probably the first time I think I realized what this series could be - definitely the first time I understood the potential of Megatron's character. And now look at me: making his redemption a central pillar of my au. How far I've come...

[gemharvest]

Gf for the character thing ? :] or maybe Nene if you received her already

I HAVEN'T RECEIVED HER YET THANK YOU !!!!!!!!! I'll do Nene too, I'll just make it her own post after posting this. :J

favorite thing about them: I love her dumbgirl swag. There's something so special to me that both her and Boyfriend are fuckin'. Dumb As Rocks. ALSO I LOVE THAT SHE'S CANONICALLY AN ARTIST that's such a sweet thing to me. I would pay one morbillion dollars for a GF commission (because she has no idea how they work).

least favorite thing about them: I WANT HER TO DO MOREEEEHGNJFN.. Like she's probably done as much as BF has so that's not a critique of the game, I just wanna see her do more. Because I love women. Oh also I think they should remake every canon piece depicting her and make her canonically fat. I often forget she isn't fat in canon and then I feel sickly when I look at like, the volume 1 cover and she's thin. W-Whe';re h.er tumm-.my go..,m,l,l,...,, <- sorry for crytyping but it fits.

favorite line: That's how you do it! <- I was gonna jokingly just go up down left right but then I remembered she says that in the tutorial. And I quote it to myself all the time so.

brOTP: Y'know what, similar to BF, I think a GF & Darnell friendship would be fuckin' s-tier. I often think abt this post Keyy made tbh. I know that's specifically the Funkycule AU and pup has them in a QPR but I do think abt it often. Also, before I was a romantic PicoGF guy my interpretation of RGB had Pico & GF as just friends, probably closer friends the longer they're in their relationships with BF cuz like, bonding over a shared partner or smthn LMAO so I'll give an honorable mention to Pico & GF friendship.

OTP: WOag. RGB. Wow I've never heard of that before. How many times can I joke about RGB being my OT3 for this game before it gets annoying LMAO anyways. I ALSO REALLY LOVE GFNENE I wish they had more fics. So bad. I'm actually shocked by how bare their tag on AO3 is. They weren't lying, fandom does hate femslash. /hj

nOTP: Is there anyone out there who actually ships her with Senpai. I think that'd be my only answer ALSO YOU KNOW WHAT. I chickened out on saying it with BF but I also consider BF and Senpai a nOTP but like, I DON'T HATE ANYBODY WHO SHIPS IT. OF COURSE. I don't think it's "problematic" to ship Senpai with either of them it's just, like, the most thought I have on Senpai is that I want to kick sand into his eyes. So that feeling doesn't really translate into a desire to see him shipped with anyone. I'm sorry to anybody who ships Senpai with either of them, I respect your grind, it is just sooooo not for me.

random headcanon: This headcanon is like, so deep into my personal GF characterization/ fuckin'. AU. If you wanna call it that atp. BUT ANYWAYS. Fuck this is gonna need quick background hold on. The canon explanation for her looking human iirc is literally just "true love" or whatever tf. But that's not as fun to play with. So instead I like to write her as being ashamed of being a demon, especially because of her parents' actions, so she masks her demon traits. And she reaaaalllly does not like letting them slip through, especially around a specific person (this is foreshadowing for something idek if I'll get to any time soon Sorry). BUT! She is on a limit for how long she can hide her demon traits until doing so starts to hurt her, either through draining her energy or like, it causing physical damage to continue hiding parts of her. And while she trusts Pico & BF, she's still got shit that she's just. Not. Sorting out. So when she feels she's about to reach a limit with it she locks herself away to rest until she's well enough to continue like normal. Girlie No (guy who is writing her to do this) (don't worry I'm going to also write her getting better abt this) I'm gonna eventually have to make a "Karl's Personal FNF Demon World Building" master-post or whatever just cuz this shit is so fun for me to work with Idk.

unpopular opinion: GEH once again idrk if this is an unpopular opinion but I've been using this to just. Complain. About stuff I have seen and disagree with so whatever I'm continuing the trend. Like Pico, I feel like I see. So many. Interpretations of her that just feel Wrong. Like I see people make her The Smart One or like. Dominant Girlboss with little substance beyond that. And it's like. Cool, yay, I love fandom misogyny. FUCK it's probably still rotting in my drafts but forever and always my reaction to this phenomenon with her is "This girl gets her hand stuck in peanut butter jars trying to eat pb with her hands. This is your Smart One?" and I should get it out of my drafts bc I'm real for that. DO NOT MISUNDERSTAND ME WHEN I SAY THIS BTW. Interpretations that smarten up BF to the same degree do not flag this to me. When making more serious fanworks with these guys, you're gonna have to give them more smarts than canon will. My issue is specifically when I have seen people still write in a degree of stupidity with BF and then just. Don't? Do the same with GF?

song i associate with them: Very basic but I think the sound is cute with her. My secondary answer would be Nelward - "Werewolf" but that's more of a. Specific Instance. That I don't want to elaborate on. grins

favorite picture of them:

Like literally all of them The Fuck you're making me choose? /silly Here's the fruits of me looking through her wiki gallery:

^ If I had to pick a single favorite, it'd be those panels from the Nendoroid comic. She was real for that. Anyways FUCK I love her. Statements improved when you remember I'm Boyfkin LMAOOOOOO..

[absurdumsid]

I AM HERE TO ASK ABOUT YOUR AU'S TELL ME ALL ABOUT THEM THEY LOOK SO NICE I WANNA KNOW THE STORIES I WANNA MAKE FAN ART

SHOW MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE *SHAKES YOUR DOOR KNOBS* LET ME KNOWWWWWWWWWWW AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

OUHFHGFH OK BAR SANSES (BS AU) LORE TIME

The simplest ? explanation for it is Dust becomes Evil Ccino where his AU's Grillby's becomes Nightmare's "headquarters" but also other AU Hoppers' (like Error and um. one of my ocs) one stop bar. Dust is evil Ccino.... (I love putting characters in roles that theyre not supposed to have)

This takes place mostly in Dusttale and Farmtale with character focus shifting between the bad sanses. It was born from an extremely old fanfic I rediscovered (and never published, thank goodness) and built up from these two asks (Dust's tab, Dust's cooking/drinking) from the official ask-dusttale blog.

I've got some plot I'd like to hide for now so you can instead have a summary of the current state of the au !

BS AU LORE !!

Dust lives in an abandoned AU where the human has not come back. In order to pass time, he decides to take up bartending by himself (for himself). He finds some of Grillby's recipes at the back of the bar and "borrows" an apron while he fails time and again but keeps mixing drinks. Alcohol is alcohol after all.

Eventually, Nightmare stumbles into Dust's AU with an injured Killer who was shot by several of Dream's arrows. Dust confronts the two and initiates a fight, assuming that they were enemies and honestly a bit freaked out by them having his face. After a "scuffle," Killer almost dying, and a lot of negotiation from Nightmare, Dust allows them to stay at the inn.

Dust, after figuring out Nightmare and Killer are broke and probably starving, invites them to Grillby's (which surprises the two. Killer actually thought he was planning to poison them). But this eventually becomes somewhat routine-like, with Nightmare and Killer getting somewhat comfortable with Dust, though he still keeps his distance.

Some time later, Nightmare goes out to see if he can get some supplies to repay Dust, hopping through several AUs but unfortunately running into Dream in one of them. This starts a chase that ends with Nightmare in HorrorTale, where he kidnaps the Sans that just happened to see him and his brother. He immediately goes back to DustTale, which, because of the absence of positive emotions, Dream is unable to access.

Horror, startled by the new environment, two more doppelgangers, and the dust leaving him struggling for breath, attacks Nightmare and defends himself (justifiably so, the kidnapping was irrational, and now Nightmare can't bring Horror back to his AU). Nightmare once again negotiates a way for them to coexist and Dust offers to let Horror sleep at his house, saying that he usually sleeps at sentry stations anyway.

AFTER THIS IS SILLY PLOT STUFF !!

if u wanna read more um,,,, many of my saejun headcanons are actually canon in this AU,,,,,,, so u should go read those,,,,,,,,,,

ALSOO it's very VERY old but this is what the sillies look like in this AU ! I plan on revamping this for the site im making hehe (cross comes in at SOME POINT but we dont talk about that yet)

and if u wanna see the older bs related posts (because i didnt.... tag them properly) heres a bunch of links for things that are canon in this

Main BS Posts: 1 2 3 4

Stuff abt that Old Fic: 1 2 3

Saejun Existing: 1 2

BS Horror: 1 2 3(blood tw)

[aina-otsuki]

I may or may not have gotten off track and made a fanfic about “A Kairos Moment”. @avaetin ever since your created that fanfic and ship I’ve never been able to look back.

Anyways anyone know a the show Star VS The forces Of Evil? Now imagine Nico’s family born from the “failed” clay prototypes made from the escaped essences of Earth, Sea, Sky, and Pit. Making them have magic but they were able to create their own ancient type of magic. Which like in the show they have a wand passed down from each queen. But instead of having a single wand passed down why not have them create their own wand along with their own spells to back up their own creation. I see Nico as the family’s Eclipsa (Queen Of Darkness) and Celena (the Shy). I think he’d be Eclipsa because why not. Also I think he’d look wonderful with an umbrella. Celena is mainly because of what’s said about her in that one episode where Star’s inside the wand and like reading stone texts about each wand user. I like started writing a bit of a fanfic about it.

Oh! Totally almost forgot about the kingdom his family has. So the Kingdom’s name is Eclipsara bc why not. Now kingdom is know to be hidden in the shadows and within plain sight. It’s where light and dark take a dance in a perpetual waltz. The capital is called Nightspire. It’s where all the most culture of the kingdom is held. Then there’s the major trading city that’s surrounded by a forest and near a river. Whisperwood is its name. It’s called this for a reason actually. The woods of that forest is where the trees whisper murmurs of secrets and where tales of yore are carried within its winds. This kingdom has all kinds of people from supernatural beings to normal people that live together in harmony among the rule of their dear Queen or King. OH!! The spells I wrote spells that are similar to the shows except they’re Nico’s spells and and like what if Nico took Aeon, and his children to the kingdom to let them have a “normal” childhood. Eclipsa was like hated for leaving her kingdom for the one she loved so instead of that for Nico. I’m going to have his family praise him for it. Like they did for Maria. Like they do for every family member who had enticed an immortal and powerful being.

Yeah, that’s about it. I’ll probably reblog the spells I made later.

Should I be working on my Jasico Fanfic instead of posting. Yes. Do I care and think everything I’m writing in the fic sucks and change sentences every few minutes. Yes. Should I not procrastinate and write my fic instead of saying I’ll do it later cause I have school work. Also yes! Anyways here’s the small part I started for this AU!

“A young girl stood in front of a tapestry. She was the oldest of her sisters. She, like her mother, was inevitability, the end. She was the fate others faced within their final breath. 

She was Atropos…

She looked at the tapestry with wonder. This was her mother. Her mother had titles her father hadn’t known of. She thought it was interesting to learn about this. She would admire the tapestry more later, for now she should read what her Mother’s people had to say about her. She looked down to read a tile of stone with gems and riches all around and a symbol of her mothers family. 

“Niccoló, Queen of Eclipsará. To an Eclipsaran King was wed but took a primordial for his love. And away from Eclipsará fled.”

Atropos felt like scoffing; they made her mother out to be someone bad. Leaving a kingdom for love doesn’t mean the person is bad. She disliked the fact they simply painted her father out to someone bad on the tapestry. Atropos thought they hadn’t known anything about her father. However, just as she was about to leave when she saw the stone change wording.

“Niccoló, the Flower and Star, he who hides behind a shadowed umbrella. The hand that does sweetly hold, a trove of cosmic secrets that have never been told.”

It wouldn’t let me upload my picture of the docs. So I had to copy paste which sucks. Anyways I bid everyone goodbye.

[walder-138]

If Keith and Nikolai had to work together, what would that look like? Would it be chaos?

Likewise, what would Nikolai's thoughts on Jodie be? (what if he knew about what Keith had done?)

Hey Goose! Thanks for the ask! Kinda piggybacking off of what you told me:

LONG, INCOHERENT POST INCOMING:

First of all, Nikolai wouldn’t trust the walking, talking ballsack as far as he could throw him. Combined with him being an American, Nikolai knew something was off about him. He thinks Keith’s using the Perseus organization as a cheap grab for power (which isn’t that far from the truth) and is absolutely disgusted by him.

Nik keeps a watchful eye on Keith whenever the two are in the same room. He doesn’t even try to hide it. Doesn’t even blink. Just stares him dead in the face the whole time they’re in a meeting. No emotion or anything, silently letting Keith know “Boy, if you try anything, they’re going to have to use your dental records to identify your corpse.”

About the two working together, Nikolai isn’t the kind of guy to let some skinny-ass American boy tell him what to do. However, unlike his spawn, he doesn’t constantly hurl insults or try to kill the people he doesn’t like, so at least that’s a plus. Keith should be safe.

Nikolai’s trying to get the mission done ASAP. He doesn’t wanna rely on Keith for anything for too long. He’d be taking shortcuts, despite knowing he’d probably be sent out again to fix his mistakes, so that he doesn’t have to rely on Keith. Nik doesn’t even trust him to drive.

“Boy, just tell me order. I do not care about the truth, do not waste breath to convince me. I swear, you talk a lot without truly saying anything. Wasting good oxygen. Do you not know how many people need oxygen to survive?”

(For Jodie pre-brainwashing, I’m gonna refer to her as Nadežda) (Also, I’m treating this as Nik never became Bell)

Nikolai didn’t pay much mind to Nadežda, simply thinking she was another bullet sponge at first. That was, until AU!Annika decided that Nadežda was her friend. Yeah, Nik told her not to talk to anybody there, but Annika saw her and was like, “You are my friend now. We go play dolls.”

You know how hard Nikolai stares at Keith? Now imagine that times 10 every time Annika talks to Nadežda. He doesn’t know the circumstances of why she joined Perseus, and wanted to make sure his ‘daughter’ didn’t get too close.

When Annika continues to pester her, but Nadežda doesn’t verbally abuse the kid, Nikolai lightens up around her. He starts actually talking to her, instead of standing in a corner, staring holes in the back of her head. Nik would start to joke around about Annika never shutting up, and sticking to Nadežda like a fly on shit.

While Nikolai doesn’t know Nadežda’s story (about her brother), he still develops a sense of protectiveness over her, since he got that she wasn’t exactly in Perseus on her own accord. Nik could tell by the way she carried herself. He’s been trained to sense fear, and he felt it in Nadežda since she got there. (which is why he look the other way when she was thinking of betraying Perseus)

When Keith decided to go into major dickwad mode, you bet your ass Nikolai picked it up. He knew Nadežda was acting off, even more distant than usual, and wanted to know why. So he did some detective work, and found out about little bitch boy.

That kinda puts Nik in a rut though; now he knows for damn certain that Nadežda isn’t loyal to Perseus (for being willing to trade in secrets like that), but if she were to keep talking to Keith, she’d get her heart ripped out. Nik knew about Keith’s status in Perseus, hell, he’s probably tried to pull a stunt like that on him and Annika.

Nik was between a rock and a hard place. If he told Nadežda about Keith, he’d risk losing his fucking job and putting Annika at risk because he would be sabotaging a plan by Perseus. However, if he didn’t, Perseus would have her killed and that’d make bitch boy move up a rank or two. He decided that he needed to put Annika and his own safety above her’s; he will not die for a traitor.

Timeskip to when Jodie was captured, he’s pissed off at Keith for playing her like that. Well, even more pissed off at him than usual, but you know. Since Keith’s higher ranking than Nik, he has to be nice (🤢) to him now. Lemme tell you, he is not enjoying a second of it.

He’s like “Boy, you did us good by flushing out the traitor🥰”

“Sooooo you’re not gonna threaten me anymore?”

“No ❤️❤️❤️I put venomous centipedes in your desk 😊🤭”

Thank you for sending in the ask! It helped me developing Nik, and I think I’ve got a pretty decent personality in place for him! I’d like to here your thoughts!

[skitskatdacat63]

misc lore drop day 33/?

Going to be doing something a little different for the next couple posts!! I reblogged this ask game because when I saw it, I could only think of answers from Boy King AU. So I thought it’d be fun to be prompted and force myself to think inside the confines of these questions. Please send more if you are interested!! Tysm Csilla for the first three!!! I’ll answer one per day, because I like sticking to this self imposed schedule :D No one was specified so I’ll answer this for both Seb and Fernando!

What is a trait your OC hides about themself from others? Do they refuse to acknowledge it or begrudgingly accept it?

Fernando

I’ve talked about this before, but he definitely hides his passion. It’s like pulling teeth, in the beginning, to get him to admit he genuinely likes or enjoys anything. Especially any of his fondness for Seb, he will absolutely never admit it. He’s actually a pretty fun-loving guy, but he believes he needs to be stoic to survive and succeed in the world. He must only focus on doing his duty, plotting and scheming, to move up in the world. He used to be very carefree and whimsical, but that got him nowhere, and he believes if he stayed that way, he’d still be a prince. When in reality, his passion dissipated when he got closer to being a king. Not because that’s what kings should be like, but because the proceedings around it were practically designed to undermine him. But, he still got what he wanted. So he believes that is how he got where he is, instead of it in reality being a symptom of where he is, if that makes sense? 

He definitely evolves throughout his life to become more like his younger self. Those around him, especially Seb of course, chip away at that impassive facade over time. But in the beginning, he;s definitely the type to deny it to his grave. “A king has no time for silly games such as these, I must focus on my duty” etc etc. He can’t accept it because he feels like everything will crumble away from him if he does. Becoming dispassionate is just a sign of growing older, okay? He says. It’s more of a part of himself that he’s intentionally hiding/shoving away, than one he needs to accept. Though maybe he needs to accept it’s not normal nor healthy to hide your true self and desires behind 10 masks of indifference and seriousness. 

Seb is a bit harder because I think he’s a much more straightforward, carefree guy than Fernando is. I’ve talked about this as well, but it’s definitely insecurity. He, as someone who has been king and a destined emperor since as long as he can remember, does not have experience not getting what he wants. He expects everything to come his way, and everyone to bow to him and prioritize him overall. Yes, that’s kind of selfish BUT, can you really blame someone who’s been raised with the idea that he is the most important being? That’s not what he’s insecure over, but rather suddenly dealing with the idea that he can’t instantly get everything his way, i.e. his relationship with Fernando. It’s very tough for him to suddenly face that, someone that outwardly doesn’t like him nor thinks he’s the greatest to ever exist. It fuels him to try to win Fernando over, but it also causes his worldview to start collapsing. Thus: insecurity. Insecurity over: is anyone actually telling me the truth, does anyone even like me, etc???? Also specifically in regards to his and Fernando’s marriage. At the beginning, he’s like well of course Fernando would love this and love me, because I am me, how could he not!? But later on when he starts to get insecure, it makes him question everything. Wait so he doesn’t actually like me, he wasn't in awe of getting to marry me?

It’s definitely something he really struggles to come to terms with. He’s not supposed to be feeling these emotions. He shouldn’t be having to question his whole life up until this point. It’s something that he keeps to himself, because it would probably ruin him if anyone else knew. He’s supposed to be the epitome of self confidence, of ardent self belief. So why is he suddenly getting all squirmy over everything? 

[your-divine-ribs]

Pure Part 1: Summoning

Words: 2.4k

I’m going to start posting this story here too since I’m hoping to carry on updating it soon // This is a supernatural/demon AU/dark love story (it’s deffo not all sex!) // I wanted to try my hand at writing something different, hope you enjoy it if you’ve not read it yet 💜

Pure Masterlist Main Masterlist

My mum had always warned me about boys. Bad boys. Boys that would lead me astray. Boys who were 'only after one thing'. That 'one thing' however, she never elaborated on.

Sex wasn't something that was discussed in our household ever. I was glad my friends at school had filled me in on the mechanics in my earlier teenage years because I was certain that my mum would have done everything in her power to make me go on believing that the stork dropped off bundles of joy into new mothers' adoring arms. I was inquisitive though, and as much as I grimaced and winced and cringed my way through my eager friends' blow-by-blow accounts of what went where and who did what to who, the flush on my scorched cheeks matched the curious heat that simmered between my thighs.

Things haven’t really changed as I’ve matured. I’m still that quiet, timid, mousy girl that I'd always been growing up, still too shy to talk to boys and convinced that any kind of engagement in anything remotely sexual outside of wedlock is tantamount to sin... as is the very act that I'm committing now... secretively getting ready for an illicit night out with my best friend and partner in crime Freya whilst my unsuspecting parents sleep soundly in the room next door.

For Freya that preparation involves rolling up the waistband of her already short skirt and painting on the sort of make-up both of our parents would never approve of. For me it consists of simply psyching myself up. I don't have the confidence to pull off a provocative outfit or make myself up to look like someone I'm not, so I settle instead for trying to calm my fast beating heart and taking deep breaths whilst I smooth down the non-existent creases in my pretty little sundress as a distraction.

"I can't believe you're actually going out in that dress."

Freya's voice is disbelieving as she breaks away from applying a slick of cherry red lipstick in the mirror to glance across at me sitting there stiffly beside her at my dressing table.

"Why? What's wrong with it?" I ask in dismay, examining the soft baby pink material for a stain that I might have missed or a tear in the fabric. "It's a pretty dress isn't it?"

Freya sighs but quickly chases it up with a giggle, shaking her head, her blonde curls cascading around her shoulders. "Yeah, it is pretty, and that's exactly what's wrong with it."

"What do you mean?"

My brow automatically creases into a frown of puzzlement that I know I should probably try to hide but I don't, even though I feel naive and unworldly-wise next to Freya who I'm sure is bound to blend into the sleazy world that awaits us so much more seamlessly than I ever will.

"Well..." she starts, adopting her know-it-all tone that instantly makes me feel even smaller. "You look like you're going to Sunday school rather than drinks in a bar..." She smirks, dropping her lipstick into the clutch-bag on her lap and leaning over to me, fingers fussing with the neckline of my dress. "You need to look sexy, not sweet. Can't you at least undo some buttons or something?"

"Freya!" I cry out, knocking her hand away to quickly fasten the buttons she's undone, feeling my cheeks warming already. "I'm not going out half undressed! You're lucky I'm going at all, so let me wear what I like, how I want to wear it, okay?"

Freya rolls her eyes theatrically. "Okay, okay, but please tell me you're going to take that off before we go." She reaches for me again, fingers grasping the small silver crucifix pendant nestled in between my collar bones, turning it over in her palm as her eyes flick up to mine. "Makes you look like a nun or something!"

I pull away quickly, the necklace falling from her grasp. I reach up to touch it, comforted by the familiarity of the symbolic jewellery, feeling defensive. "But I never take it off. I've only ever taken it off once since my mum gave it to me and that's because the chain broke. I don't care what people think. I like it."

I'm a Christian and I'm proud of it, I love God and I'm not embarrassed to talk about religion like Freya seems to be now she's gotten older and developed a reckless, wayward streak. Both of our families are devout, regular church-goers so I've just been brought up that way. We actually met each other at Sunday School.

Freya smirks but bites her tongue, turning back to her reflection to apply another coat of mascara.

"Eve... we're going to bar called The Inferno for Christ's sake. Do you want to blend in or stick out like a sore thumb?"

"It's just a bar," I say, slicking on a thin layer of barely there pink lipgloss and smacking my lips together lightly. "Sure it's not going to be full of satanists and devil-worshippers!"

Freya immediately starts sniggering and then I'm laughing too, any animosity between us both disintegrating in an instant. "That wouldn't actually be a bad thing," she laughs, nudging me with an elbow. "They'd probably be a bit more exciting than the boys from church... especially Jamie, hey?"

"Ughhh..." I feel my face automatically scrunch in distaste at the mention of the boy who's been pursuing me doggedly for years, in no way deterred by my constant rebuffs and blatant disinterest in him. "He's such a creep. Did you see how he was looking at me last Sunday when I dropped the hymn book and had to bend down in front of him to pick it up. He's disgusting!"

"You think all boys are disgusting!" She teases. "You do realise that taking a vow of celibacy's not essential just because your mum wants to keep you sweet and innocent forever, don't you?"

I huff at that, cheeks warming as my friend's words hit a raw nerve that I hadn't realised was so sensitive and exposed. I try to cover my embarrassment quickly, hoping to distract her from probing deeper down an uncomfortable path of discussion that she's sure to take if she senses my discomfort.

"I just have taste that's all... and I wouldn't go with Jamie if he was the last man on earth. I'd rather..." I trail off, trying to decide on a suitable alternative, a thought popping into my head that makes me grin widely as I say it. "I'd rather sell my soul to the devil than go anywhere near him... I mean it!"

Freya's eyes sparkle with something playful and mischievous, a look I know so well on her, and more so recently. "Innocent little Eve? Selling her soul to the devil? Bet he'd love corrupting an angelic little thing like you! Can you imagine?"

"Stop it Frey," I giggle, turning my attention back to the mirror, wondering whether this is the start of yet another of our sordid chats about boys that are becoming commonplace. I feel a familiar warm glow erupt low down in my gut at the thought, memories flooding me of how I'd dipped a curious hand under the waistband of my panties the night before whilst I'd lain in bed alone. I'd spent the evening preceding that with Freya, listening on rapt as she'd told me about a house party that she'd attended the week before. The fact that she'd let a boy she'd only just met lead her upstairs to one of the bedrooms and pin her up against the wall, a seeking hand snaking up her skirt to slip inside her underwear. The toe-curling pleasure she'd received as he'd pumped his fingers into her slow and deep whilst raining hot kisses on her neck. The images her account had conjured up had seared themselves quite intrusively into my brain, spurring me on to seek that sort of pleasure myself, but I'd soon grown embarrassed and shameful of my actions. Despite what Freya said, the notion still plagued me that any sort of sexual fulfilment should be between husband and wife, just like my mum had drilled into me over and over and over again. In the end I'd sighed and turned over in bed, screwing my eyes shut and trying to block out the sleazy thoughts, eventually drifting off into a restless sleep.

I come back to the present day quickly to see Freya still smiling as I steal a glance at her, her plump red bottom lip pulled between her teeth as she shakes her head. "Oh Eve... what am I gonna do with you, eh? You really need to loosen up and start enjoying life."

"But I am enjoying life!" I protest, more than a little disgruntled that she believes that my life is in any way lacking without the addition of carnal pursuits. "There's more to life than sex you know!"

Even uttering the word draws colour to my cheeks, making Freya's grin widen. "I'm not just talking about sex... just in general."

She suddenly looks away, reaching up for one of the small votive candles I have arranged on my bookshelf. "I've got an idea!"

I watch on as she delves into her bag and produces a lighter, resisting the urge to lecture her about smoking, too curious to see what she's up to. She lights the candle, setting it down on the table in front of us both and then picks up my nail scissors, pressing one of the sharp blades against the pad of her forefinger, drawing a shiny bead of fresh blood.

"What the hell are you doing?" I cry out in shock, instantly slapping a hand over my mouth at the thought of waking my parents.

"Shhh," she whispers, her voice low and mysterious, drawing me in. "You ever played Wake The Devil?"

I lean in closer, puzzled at her bizarre actions, unease simmering inside at her words. I'd heard plenty about silly games the kids used to play at school, chanting Bloody Mary into the mirror to conjure apparitions from the other side and dabbling with ouija boards and the occult. With my strong religious beliefs I'd always been a bystander and never taken part, firmly believing that summoning spirits was wrong and a dangerous game to play. I believed in God, so in contrast the Devil must therefore exist, and those dark forces should be left well and truly alone.

"I really don't think we should be meddling with..." I begin, but my friend cuts me short, looking at me in exasperation.

"It's just a bloody game," she laughs, a little condescendingly which makes me feel foolish. "C'mon, it'll be a laugh. We can do it together... maybe even renew our blood sister vows while we're at it, eh?"

That makes me smile as I recall summers of the past where we'd been just two carefree young girls, an incident where I'd fallen climbing a tree and cut my hand deeply. I'd been distraught at the time to see so much blood welling from the gash but Freya had distracted me in that chaotically endearing way she'd always displayed in times of need, picking up a sharp rock and slicing her own palm so I didn't have to suffer alone. I can still remember the daft rhyme she'd made me recite as we'd pressed your hands together in a pact to become 'sisters in blood', the small jagged scar I still bore evoking a fond memory whenever I looked at it.

"Oh, go on then... I'll do your silly ritual if it shuts you up!" I laugh, a hush falling on the room as she passes me the scissors, urging me to follow suit and pierce my skin in the same way she had done.

I grit my teeth as I press the small blade to my fingertip, watching the skin yielding as I flinch, a glossy drop of blood immediately forming there. "What now?" I ask, holding my finger up carefully so I don't spill blood on to my dress.

"Well, firstly you have to let a drop of your blood fall on to the flame, then you have to say the words." She pauses for effect, eyes narrowing. "You have to summon him... the devil himself."

A nervous giggle bursts from me as I try to hide the fact that I'm genuinely apprehensive. My mother's superstitious demeanour has definitely rubbed off on me throughout the years despite me trying to reason that folklore and myth are just fanciful notions.

"Well go on then... what're the words?"

Freya leans in over the flickering flame of the candle, twisted shadows dancing across her features in the dim lighting. I realise I'm holding my breath, a crackling tension in the air.

"Blood flow warm, fire burn bright

I summon thee from hell tonight

Hear this promise that I make

A soul that's pure for you to take"

"Oh," I breathe, swallowing deeply, a tiny tremor of foreboding shooting up my spine. "So what happens after?"

The cackle that bursts from Freya is loud and shrill and I dig her sharply in the ribs for being so noisy. "Well the devil appears and ravishes you of course!" She laughs. "Oh god, you should see your face, you look absolutely terrified! Of course nothing happens silly! What did you expect?"

The eerie atmosphere dissipates in an instant and I internally scold myself for getting so wrapped up in a childish game. I reach over and squeeze my finger over the candle, letting a small drop of blood drip down on to the flame which sizzles hungrily like it's being fed.

"Well it wouldn't really be a surprise for nothing to happen to you," I tease. "Your soul's far from pure!"

"Ouch!" Freya retorts, feigning offence as she lets her own finger linger over the flame.

We both look into the mirror, faces lit up gold in the flickering light, voices soft and hushed and almost reverent as we recite the words in unison...

"Blood flow warm, fire burn bright

I summon thee from hell tonight

Hear this promise that I make

A soul that's pure for you to take"

[pilots-and-protons]

Been thinking about headcanons for the sort of nebulous, non-existent Omegaverse Voyager AU that likes to rattle around inside my brain. Decided I should maybe post some now and again.

You know, the AU where Tom Paris has been hiding that he’s an Omega since joining Starfleet. His father expected another in a long line of family Alphas, both Captains and Admirals, and ended up disappointed. Somewhere that disappointment turned into Tom’s father expecting him to play out the role of an Alpha anyways, and since Starfleet is so stringent with scent blockers and suppressants, all it takes is a lot of false bravado and some very high scores on the flight sims. No one even suspects a thing, since to actually ask would be an offence, and when everyone sees the red uniform they just assume that Tom’s an Alpha (like his father, and his grandmother, and every other goddamn Paris before him). 

So Tom just... doesn’t bother to correct them.

There’s nothing actually keeping Omegas or Betas from the Command-track in Starfleet, but most graduates end up being Alphas anyways because of their more brash qualities and general penchant for choosing positions of leadership. There also isn’t anything keeping Tom from telling the truth about his status (after all, the doctor for his physicals knows even if she wouldn’t ever tell), except the looming feeling that his very existence is somehow a disappointment to his father. There’s also the small, gnawing desire that maybe, just maybe, if he lies to enough people and follows the path his father expects of him, someday he won’t feel like such a failure.

Until the accident at Caldik Prime happens, and he’s basically a failure anyways. It’s ironic that the first time Tom really tells the truth about something, it ends as badly as he always feared it would. With no more Starfleet, no more protocols, he’s both free but also adrift. Lurking around at Chez Sandrine’s he finally goes off the suppressants and the scent blockers, tries to be the complete opposite of what his father expected and go full-throttle into being an Omega - whatever that’s even supposed to mean.

Except, all he gets is a bunch of assholes assuming he’s a whore because he’s a drifter, he likes to talk and he’s pretty. If nothing else, he’d thought acting the part of a coy Omega might help him hustle at pool. Instead no one wants to play him, the ever-changing crowd of Alphas always trying to show him “how it’s done” - as if he couldn’t wipe the floor with half the patrons. It makes him feel cheap, knowing that the Alphas seem to only care if he’ll put out, but at least he can sometimes get his bar tab payed before giving them the runaround.

By the time the Maquis come calling, he’s started on the suppressants again but is still drowning in the drink. Couldn’t make it as an Alpha, can’t seem to make it as an Omega either. Chakotay must still think he’s some Alpha hotshot though, because there’s a lot of glaring and posturing before he agrees to let Tom fly (and to pay the last of his drinking debts). It’s ironic to him, later, to find out that the “Big Maquis Boss” is actually an Omega too - something Tom learns from a few muted conversations when the crew don’t realize he’s still lurking nearby. Apparently Chakotay just has to act like a Pack Alpha to keep the less honorable Maquis in his squad from pulling shit behind his back. And that makes Tom feel even more sick, seeing that maybe if he wasn’t such a failure he could have pulled it off too - living as an Omega in some position of authority without being laughed out an airlock like his father always warned.

But then he gets caught on his first real mission and thrown into prison. The final indignity is that the prison intake officer takes one look at the glare on his face and the last name in his file and agrees to provide him with suppressants. “Don’t need another hard-headed Alpha causing problems” they say, and Tom can’t even find the will to correct them. At least it would probably keep the other inmates off his back. 

By the time Captain Janeway comes calling, Tom’s built up a hard shell - buried the weak and pathetic Omega inside himself so deep in failures and suppressants, that it’s easy to play the smart-mouth and pretend like he’s as tough as he sounds.

It’s funny, how Janeway is so tiny compared to him, and yet even from a mile away he could see she was an Alpha. She practically oozed confidence and a calm, level head for leadership when she offered him the position as an “observer” on her ship. And how could Tom say no to a person like that?

It just meant that for the next few days, he’d have to remember what it was like to pretend again - to play the proper Starfleet Alpha, even if there was no rank to his name and no position to fill. 

Tom doesn’t know if it’s an ingrained Omega need to help, or the self-taught Alpha drive to protect that he’d tried so hard to cultivate, but something sends him stalking across Quark’s after some floundering newbie that’s clearly about to be swindled. It isn’t until much later - after declarations of friendship, being stranded in a new quadrant, and a field commission that suddenly feels like it might be based on a lie - that Tom is flabbergasted to find the gentle, dedicated, and friendly Harry whom he’d rescued in that space station bar is somehow a goddamn Alpha.

[evilkitten3]

my word for the wip game is “play” or “don’t” :)

i'll do play first, then!

And none of them are people he trusts to handle a crisis in an elementary school, except maybe Krillin or Yamcha, but the latter is on the other side of the world playing baseball and Gohan has no idea where the former even is.

“Wanna play jumprope with me an’ Glu for recess?”

“I’ve never actually played jumprope before,” he admits.

-Men of Tin, chapter 4: Elementary School Blues (Dragon Ball; should probably change that to middle school; part of a post-Cell au where Gohan goes to school much sooner; yes all the kids are named after school supplies)

Although he’d spent his first recess learning to play jump rope with Glu and Wakku, Gohan doesn’t really feel as though he’d truly bonded with either of them.

Most of the other kids had formed their own groups that were also pretty clearly pre-established: Wakku and Glu played jump rope; Tekist, Bainda, Jiki, Basami, and Keiko talked about sports; Hochikiss, Maaka, Forda, and Conpas giggled about fashion and boys; Shappu and Pen chased each other around the small playground – only Gohan and the quiet boy, Mashe, had remained separate from the others.

Mashe asks, gesturing towards the other side of the cafeteria (which is just the playground, only now they’re all sitting on the benches and eating lunch).

-Men of Tin, chapter 6: Lost Between Two Worlds (Dragon Ball; this is the chapter i'm least satisfied with and may remove altogether bc i barely even remember what i wanted to do with mashe anyway. i think maybe he'd also lost someone in the cell games or something? idk)

"...Why should I have to play a damn guessing game every time someone I know has some sort of anniversary?..."

-Around the World in 365 Days (Dragon Ball; fic i started ages ago and might work into a separate fic instead of making it its own thing; basically goku and vegeta try to find a birthday present for yamcha)

Pan and Bulla playing together was one thing, but the girls were still too young to really understand what bedtime was, or why they should fight against it like it was the next big threat to the planet.

-Good Ideas Will Tear Your Brain Apart (Dragon Ball; mostly abandoned kakavegebulchi fic where i was trying to work out some interactions between vegeta and chichi, but it didn't really go anywhere)

But she’d learned to hide the dual-colored skin and petrified flesh, learned to turn her weak heartbeat into the most effective possum-playing imaginable.

-Narfi Nada (MCU; crack avengers 1 au where all the avengers sans thor are loki's myth kids, but all of them are so busy trying to hide it from everyone (especially thor and loki) that none of them pick up on each other; thor and loki absolutely pick up on it and promptly jump to the conclusion that they need to keep it secret from each other; basically the whole thing is an excuse to give fury a migraine)

Expectation and reality had played out simultaneously.

-Sandpipers Standing in a Marsh in the Autumn Twilight (Durarara!!; post-ketsu fic; izaya and shizuo not being friends and not coping and also bitching about shinra)

One thing Orihara Kyōko’s son inherited from her was a sense of playfulness, with a subtly competitive edge. This is not to say that her husband was a boring person, or even that he didn’t enjoy games as well, but the playfulness that Orihara Shirō had was significantly closer to the average desire for enjoyment experienced by most humans, as opposed to the playfulness that functioned as a core personality trait for both his wife and eldest child.

By the time Izaya turned five a few months later, he’d developed a habit of only asking his mother when he wanted to play a game. When she’d first offered to involve his father, Izaya had scoffed and told her that he didn’t think “that man” was intelligent enough for him to bother playing with.

He did, eventually, realize that his father wasn’t actually as dull as he’d first thought, but by then the game of finding new ways to not spend time with his father had become far more entertaining than any pre-established game they could have played together.

This last bit is not how the game usually worked, but it was how the Orihara family had ended up playing it.

In both kakurenbo and western hide-and-seek, the seeker closes their eyes and counts to ten (or another agreed upon number, usually determined via angry children who do not feel that ten seconds is enough time to find a suitable thing to hide behind on the playground).

Perhaps, had Izaya confronted her about this, she would have explained to him that adults had more experience in just about everything that a young child, and therefore all of them had to pretend the playing field was even in order for the child to continue enjoying the game.

Assuming her son was merely playing with her, Kyōko sighed and continued the search, occasionally calling out that the game was over and he can come out now.

He did regret not having brought snacks or something to do while he hid, but he resolved to do just that the next time he played kakurenbo.

Two days after brilliantly foiling his mother’s plan to win at kakurenbo, Orihara Izaya emerged from hiding and wandered into the kitchen, too hungry to keep playing his brilliant game.

-The Intricacies of a Rainbow-Colored Lemniscate (Durarara!!; post-ketsu; basically izaya is autistic and it changes nothing but his parents would very much like to know why their son is missing presumed dead)

ok, onto the next word! "don't" is a word i expect to show up a lot, so i can't promise to share every sentence. but we'll see.

“Don’t do drugs.”

“I don’t know much about depression, but I do know that it can lead people to turn to drugs or alcohol,” his mom says, and it dawns on Gohan that she’s entirely serious.

“I don’t care whose side he’s on now, that man is–” Gohan realizes how that had sounded and almost chokes, raising his hands to pacify his mother.

“I don’t mean I’d ask him for help. ..."

His mother and grandfather, who don’t live in his head and hadn’t made those connections, just stare at him.

-Men of Tin, chapter 1: Where We Were When the Lights Went Out (Dragon Ball; off to a great start)

He’ll get himself in trouble sooner or later, and they don’t need to give anybody any excuses to get rid of them.

It suddenly dawns on her that the clothes she’s wearing don’t actually belong to her.

"I… don’t know if that’s a good idea. ..."

“Well, technically, I don’t sleep, but I’m homeless again, so…”

“I don’t know,” she says, because she really doesn’t.

“I don’t really have anything else. ..."

“In any case, Eighteen, I don’t have a spare bed at the moment. I hope you don’t mind the couch until we can find a bed for you.” “I don’t really need to sleep,” Eighteen says.

-Men of Tin, chapter 2: Pretty Broken Things (Dragon Ball; oh yeah this fic isn't just about gohan btw there's chichi/18 and also vegeta having a breakdown in the background)

You don’t know how to either, little monkey, Frieza hisses at him.

"... I don’t want either of you to get hurt, but–”

Men of Tin, chapter 3: The People We Knew Long Ago (Dragon Ball; vegeta is coping great thanks for asking)

“Don’t scare him,” Chichi scolds, shaking her head at the cyborg.

“Don’t talk like–” Temper snapping, Vegeta whirls around, palm crackling with power.

“I don’t think he wants to talk right now, honey,” Panchy says, glancing between her daughter and the prince.

“You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to, sweetie,” Panchy’s voice cuts through his thoughts.

"... Don’t concern yourself with whether or not you are worth my time. ..."

"... We can spend the morning getting to know Gohan, but please don’t overwhelm the poor boy.”

“I don’t mind, Ms. Bai.”

-Men of Tin, chapter 4: Elementary School Blues (Dragon Ball; gohan is so sweet and vegeta is probably rabid; also that's nappa talking in the second sentence)

Zarbon drags him off somewhere, and Nappa and Raditz don’t see him again for nearly a month.

“Don’t sneak up on me!”

 I don’t think he usually talks like that.

-Men of Tin, chapter 5: Brick By Broken Brick (Dragon Ball; vegeta is totally one hundred percent in the present and not at all having flashbacks he's doing great stupendous super even)

“You don’t own a watch, Kakarot. ..."

“Beyond that, I don’t recall any such thing. ..."

"... I don’t believe we had any annual celebrations like birthdays – if we did, it likely would have been a celebration of the birth itself, which would have been considered the mother’s battle, not the child’s. ..."

"... I don’t believe I ever met her in person, though, so I can’t speak much to what she was actually like. ..."

"... I simply don’t wish to refer to a Saiyan by a non-Saiyan name when he has a perfectly good proper name. ..."

-Around the World in 365 Days (Dragon Ball; there's actually one other sentence with "don't" but i chose not to include that one bc it's borderline incoherent out of context)

“Well, I don’t remember the exact district,” his cousin admits.

"... I don’t even think most of ‘em know my name.”

“Well, don’t worry, Lord Kuchiki, I’m sure you’ll catch up to me eventually.”

“We just don’t know much about Rukongai, so we weren’t sure if anyone too far out there knew how to read.”

“And assumin’ things ‘bout people ya don’t know ain’t very polite.”

“I don’t know for sure,” she says, as she walks alongside the older girl who had graciously offered to walk her to her next class (probably for gossip, which Rangiku is very much okay with).

"... I don’t know if he’s ever even touched a sword before, but… I dunno, he’s always been smart. ..."

"... You go around and look at things in windows but you don’t actually spend any money!”

"... We don’t like being cooped up, either. ..."

“Don’t ignore us!” The sound of teeth snapping might have startled him if he hadn’t gotten used to it ages ago. “We don’t belong here!” We don’t belong anywhere, though.

"... I’m afraid I don’t have my own name at present.”

“You don’t have to, though,” she adds with a wink.

-Dreamcatcher (Bleach; gin and byakuya's first meeting goes impeccably, no class warfare at all)

I don’t know what to do.

((I don’t want to hurt anyone))

Except his don’t move, because they are markings and not– whatever this is.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he says finally.

The now-voiceless hollow had needed words, but the others don’t.

They don’t have the stamina or the manpower to fight another opponent, she knows.

-Frost Line (Bleach; basically orihime loses her shit when ulquiorra kills ichigo and maybe kinda sorta usurps aizen as arc bad guy; also rukihime endgame)

“I don’t really have the full picture of what happened, so I don’t know if–”

She has Goku drop her off at Capsule Corp before sending him back to keep the boys company (and make sure they don’t stay up too late, though she doubts that that will be as much of a problem as it usually is).

"... I don’t– I don’t think– Cheech, he didn’t recognize me. ..."

"... I don’t know what to do, I don’t know how I’m s-supposed to f-f-fix this, I–”

"... I ain’t a psychologist, but I know it don’t work like that. ..."

"... Maybe they will, but that’s a lotta unnecessary stress on people who don’t deserve to carry that. I ain’t sayin’ you should leave him or that you don’t love him, I’m sayin’ you gotta set a line for what ain’t gonna fly. He should too; we all need to. But you’re the one he might listen to, ‘cause he ain’t listenin’ to Goku and I don’t imagine he’ll be interested in listenin’ to me.”

“Y’don’t go through all that an’ come out okay, Bulma, you just don’t. ..."

“Not sayin’ I don’t care about him. ..."

-Good Ideas Will Tear Your Brain Apart (Dragon Ball; chichi's accent is so freaking hard for me gah)

“JARVIS, don’t let Fury talk to me before ten am,” he says, not processing any of what the man had actually said.

“You don’t wanna help redecorate another borough?” Tony asks innocently.

Nat and Steve don’t follow, but that’s fine.

“I’m not saying it was the nicest table I’ve ever seen,” Loki is saying when Iron Man arrives on scene (before Cap, and possibly also before Nat, but Tony is well aware that not being able to see her doesn’t actually mean anything), “but I don’t really think the design was that offensive.”

“You don’t appear injured,” Loki crouches down next to her.

"... I don’t recall having ordered a side of civilian causalities.”

“I don’t have anything to say to you.” Hawkeye tells him flatly.

“I don’t pretend to know his gender identity, but statistically, I believe you are most likely correct. ..."

"... Please say no, I don’t need to deal with that again.”

"... You’re supposed to be in– I don’t know, wherever Asgard puts its wannabe dictators.”

"... This world’s Loki probably just needs… oh, I don’t know. ..."

“She won’t do anything, I don’t think,” she adds.

“And might I say, Captain, I hope you don’t feel the need to treat me differently simply because my form has changed. ..."

-Oh, Ye of Little Grace (MCU; pretty much abandoned idea of aoa!loki ending up in the mcu)

“Is it the one where you don’t think I’m a monster anymore?” he asks.

“True. You don’t fall for anything I say, huh?” “I just don’t listen most of the time. I’ve known you were full of shit since day one.”

“If you don’t already know, that’s probably the most concerning thing, actually.”

"... Looks like you don’t know everything after all.”

"... Don’t tell, Shizu-chan.”

Don’t talk about Celty like that

Don’t be absurd.

…I don’t like that you guessed that so quickly

"... We don’t even talk that much. ..."

“I don’t think he’s ever asked. ..."

"... I don’t think he would either way, though.”

"... I don’t know if there’s anything they could’ve done about that. ..."

"... Shi– oww, hey, don’t do that! ..."

-Sandpipers Standing in a Marsh in the Autumn Twilight (Durarara!!)

i'm gonna end it here bc this has gone on long enough. shame on you for picking such a common word lol

[quaranmine]

alright, stats time. numbers! percentages! analysis!

GO ME! i finished my writing challenge last night. though i have done them before, i have never had a 30 day streak--my longest was 11 days, previously.

NANOWRIMO "GOAL": 50k words in a month. lol nope i didn't even plan to do that but that's the perspective i'm putting the post in

MY GOAL: add 30k to IBW.

fail. i added 5.2k to IBW in the end, the equivalent of finishing just one chapter. basically, I completed 17% of my goal. not something I'm happy about but i did inevitably mostly get past a thing that was giving me trouble.

MY SECOND GOAL: add 30k aggregated to any projects

total word count: 21,366. that's techinically a fail but i'm not gonna count it because i reached 70% of my target wordcount AND THAT'S GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME!!! 70 is a passing grade afterall :] if we want to put this in perspective of nano, i basically completed 40% of nano, which is great for a first-ever run (especially since i have never completed a 50k fic so far, let alone in a month. baby steps for me, i just do not write that quickly.)

MY THIRD GOAL: write something every day

SUCCESS! i did do that and i am very proud of it. it was shockingly hard sometimes. during the challenge i was like "i am never doing this again" and now literally less than a day after im like "hm i should do this again next year!" why am i like this? who knows!

So, let's look at other stats.

Number of fics worked on: four. (IBW, grumbot fic mainly, hitchhiker's au, and tumble town gothic)

Fanfic started and completed within the month: do you see no ghosts in me at all? (13,651 words). This means that ~64% of my time was spent on this fanfic, compared to any others (if we go by word count, as i don't remember which days specifically were used on this versus the others)

Average daily wordcount: 712 words. again, to reach the 30k goal i needed roughly 1k on average per day, so this is again about 70% of that. It is worth noting that my average for my last writing challenge in the spring was 548, so I did much better on average this month despite being forced to do it in a much longer streak. that's probably because the 0 wordcount days in the last challenge dragged the average down, so writing every day helped me a lot.

Lowest daily WC: 131

Highest daily WC: 1897

i think both of those were the same fic actually (grumbot fic.) the low wordcounts mostly represented lack of time, as i would stop writing whenever it got so late that i started falling asleep midsentence. however low wordcounts on IBW mostly represent lack of inspiration, except for the day 30, where it represented research.

all in all, i think it was a successful challenge. i'm still in writing mode and was already thinking about what i could do tonight, which is great because like...i am no longer beholden to this challenge but am still wanting to keep going (i'll just likely not force myself to do anything anymore if it's like 11:30pm and i havent done anything. i will just go to bed instead.)

the main lesson here is that i can Do Things when i want to really force myself to do, which is good because i often doubt my own abilities especially in connection with my writing. it's very personal compared to other stuff i do, so i very much love and appreciate everybody's support and kind reviews because i straight up would not be here or doing any of this without you. like i would have just gone back to hide under a rock lol.

i feel like completing these challenges gives me a lot more confidence in myself and my abilities, and gives me momentum to make consistent progress on my works even when things are a little rough. sometimes in writing you just Gotta Do It even if there isnt much inspiration, because it'll unlock the way for other scenes where you DO have inspiration.

now then. if someone can tell me why i was able to fully complete inktober for two years in a row, and pull off two of these writing challenges in one year, but CAN'T stick with actual responsible adult habits--

[pkmnomegaverse]

I need ZA to release who the protags are already so I can know if I need to start thinking about if Calem or Serena get isekaied or not. Serena would obviously be the easier one to do anything with since she’s not really doing anything important for like 2ish years post XY. Is basically just traveling/training to become stronger (which is what lets her become Champion of Kalos later on) so it would be easy enough to make her the one doing ZA instead.

But my Calem bias is powerful, so I know if ZA gives me the option, I’m going to feel compelled to use him. Casimir being born already is kind of a problem, but I’ve been thinking about how I would work around that and came to the conclusion Augustine would jump at the opportunity to raise him in Calem’s absence. Calem kinda sorta is staying with him off and on near the end of his pregnancy since Augustine takes that whole situation better than anyone else (although it’s less that he’s actually okay with what went down and more that he’s projecting his feelings of failing Lysandre onto Calem. Taking responsibility for Calem and Lysandre’s unborn child in Lysandre’s absense).

It’s this that ultimately is what leads to Calem becoming one of Augustine’a research assistants down the line. Augustine helps him out with Casimir early on and gives him research tasks to help with once he’s feeling up to it. It’s easier for Calem to just stay, even once he feels more confident in being able to raise Casimir on his own. Augustine prefers Calem stays close since wants to help in raising Casimir (and help Calem out by extension) so it all works out that Calem takes so well to assisting him with his research.

But were Calem to just up and disappear one day, while Augustine would be upset, he would very much take it on himself to raise Casimir. Grace would likely show up early on since she feels she should raise her grandson in Calem’s absense, but I could see Augustine being able to spin it that he was already the one primarily helping Calem out and baby Casimir is the most use to him. It’s only logical he keeps Casimir. Just until Calem is found, of course.

I think there would be talk that Calem ran away vs it being assumed something bad happened to him. Like…I think everyone who knew him well would still think this was a possibility. None of them would be able to say “Calem wouldn’t just run away from his responsibilities without telling anyone” since deep down they all know he might. Guy was always cagey on his true feelings and willing to manipulate others, so if he finally cracked under the pressure of everything…

Obviously not what happened but I think this would lead to everyone thinking it’s less likely he’s dead and probably just off hiding somewhere. Might or might not show up one day. I think Augustine would be hurt on Casimir’s behalf as well. Would believe that Calem really did just leave Casimir with him before he ran away. Rejected by one parent, abandoned by the other. Up to him now to make sure Casimir gets the love and support he never got from either of his parents.

Which maybe means everyone feels kind of bad once Calem does show up again one day and it’s clear something bad actually did go down and he didn’t leave on purpose. On Calem’s end, I think he would be more hurt everyone just moved on without him vs that they thought badly of him. But he did always live his life by keeping others at a distance so can he really blame them? He still wants his baby back though. I think even if he saw Augustine raising Casimir and knew they were happy together, it wouldn’t sway his decision. Becoming a good parent for Casimir was what made him really want to turn his life around post-XY. For ZA, getting back to his son would likely be his main goal, so he’s not going to give up on his son.

Which could easily spin into a KerrShipping AU where Calem is like “damn, guess I’m gonna have to seduce Augustine to get my baby back. Worse alphas I could get with I suppose” while Augustine is like “should I propose a situationship between us so I can keep raising Casimir?” and then once Calem’s seduction attempts happen he’s like “well, I guess this is one way to solve that problem :/“ since I’ve always thought the only way those two get together is due to both wanting to raise Casimir and not about being attracted to each other. They could make it work but raising Casimir is the goal for both.

Obviously ZA might use different protags/throw such a wrench in the timeline none of this is relevant, but still something I’ve been musing on lately.

[heartshapedcreaturefromcriptoon]

#steven universe#saiscribbles#hazbin hotel#switcheroo au#transphobia#listen man i usually dont care enough to do a whole thing. but ur an asshole.#and you hide behind this uwu steven universe shit and then sit on Twitter going#“you KIDS are so sensitve blazing saddles never could be made today”#but dont want to offer any respect to others bc they were rightfully angry w you “but THE IT STARTED ITTTT”

@towermzark

.... I love being able to be that bitch to someone for once and start off by saying how I wasn't going to reblog this but it's like: "Oh Look! Another tenderqueer with a bunch of tacky tumblr badges next to their url calloutposting about how all the other tenderqueer steven universe marvel stans on twitter with anime icons are fighting! And the fight devolved into something that has absolutely noting to do with goddamn fucking viviziepop ether! Who could've seen that coming!"

Fuck Sai for using the word "Retard" completely uncensored in real life anyway even and fuck Sai for her blatant biphobia on top that although I do agree Lily Orchard is just mental and actually should be sent away to some kind of reform school for wayward Turds so they can finally just get all of the brownface off that shitty artwork.

Viv Medrano isn't even Sai's favorite artist it's obviously Rebecca Sugar who's her fave and she makes that really fucking clear when she opens up her long ass take downs of Lily by being yet another person to generally just shit on Star vs. The Forces of Evil and it's ending (which, how original of her to jump on that backwards bandwagon too despite defending Hazbin as long as we're talking about people thinking they're such unique snowflakes) my point in bringing this up is the the fact that Steven Universe has always just kinda sorta sucked anyway and that anyone who knows anything believes in Svtfoe Supremacy (which obviously, I shouldn't have to explain why this includes Medrano).

Circling back to actually talking about Medrano I also love how you just dropped that whole Straw Man Edge Lord Blazing Saddles Meme into my lap while you fall to comprehend how the whole "N@zi OC Vivziepop Susage Party Art Exchange Roleplay Drama" TM was apparently just part of one huge Mel Brookes Producers reference. Which was also something Sai covered during her big stream that was basically just talking about Hazbin. Now for all your proud post limit breaking and chattering your wind up teeth why don't you cite me some decades old evidence of the person who ran that equally cringe roleplay blog being an actual neo nazi in real life instead of just roleplaying as like a gay ass tumblr sexy anthropomorphized bottle of sour milk or something that decided he wanted to fuck vivziepops gay ass bottle of anthropomorphized hollandaise sauce that she clearly made out of a blatantly obvious Mel Brookes reference after watching an actually bad dude bro movie and then posting the one note but still admittedly funny joke she was able to get out of that crap (because she is who she is) on tumblr dot com? You can't. And I'm not going to listen to you because you use tumblr badges anyway.

The Tenderqueer with the Black Milf Anime Icon probably thinks that "queer" is a slur that can never be reclaimed and gets into Anti Kink Discourse TM every June, if they aren't already a minor.

Random bitches accusing random bitches online of misgendering because they expect other random bitches online to go skim through their profile to make absolutely certain they use the correct pronouns for random ass bitches during random ass twitter arguments instead of just accepting the unspoken ancient rule of the internet which is your defualt gender online to random bitches always being your icon or whatever "gendered" indicator you have on public display at the time and "yano" or whatever the fuck It's name is probably already had a Masc Presenting Character as It's icon which is probably why Great Great Grandma Sai just got Confused. Classic Tenderqueer shit to pull on someone. Although, I can't imagine still being a Steven Universe Stan at 40. It's just not that good.

Not that this has anything to do with Viv but again ... Bunch of Weebs of Color picking arguments with (apparently already ancient ass) White Weebs, presumably over Vivziepop, losing the plot entirely, scolding the White Weeb for White Weebness, and just refusing to acknowledge that Vivziepop is just another Weeb of Color (and arguably a White Passing Weeb) herself? Alastor doesn't look like a Black Man because he looks like Disney Aladdin and Disney Aladdin didn't look like an Indian Man to begin with ether because he was probs modeled after the white dude who voiced him and Alastor just went from also being voiced by a white dude to being voiced by someone who's presumably Indian so the ouroboros of animated racial discourse just came full circle and Alastor might as well be at least mixed raced Black and Indian to me, like at least in fanon, instead of just being mixed raced White/Black and Hazbin to me is just like if Cartoony Moulin Rouge was just a cartoon anyway, and in Hazbin'a case it is, so I think we can all take this cartoon that we're watching for what is it, and shut the fuck up now. And if you can't do that, stop watching. Quit your obsessive hatred of vivziepop and shows she makes , and quit complaining.

Okay so, I learned from Sai's streams that she's supposedly 40, so like, how old must you reposting this shit and all the people that she's willingly arguing with on twitter be? 18? 19? 20? 21? Because right now, regardless of the true context of how it started (that you didn't provide to begin with) all I'm seeing from all sides is:

Including you, for even clogging my tags with this shit and Sai for even engaging.

(And oh, make no mistake I can't stand Alex Hirsch ether, Gravity Falls art style is objectively disgusting and really gives Slightly Elevated Family Guy for Kids and he's a far worse artist and more racist than any of the woman all you tenderqueer girlies love going after... But ... I do believe .... All would agree Lily Orchard has a lot of um .... Work to do on herself as a woman but maybe all the girlies who consume themselves with cartoons online instead of creating something actually sexy out of it need to work on their minds and hearts and actually get laid instead portraying themselves as weird space rock baby vtubers or pokemon pony fucker, I don't know, not my kink).

But at least now I know I have a reason not to be casually viewing Sai's content anymore so I guess I should thank you before I block you?

So what I've conformed from all this is exactly What Steven Universe Does to a Mother Fucker I guess and if you still obsess over that shit in any capacity whatsoever pass the intended age range you're an abled-bodied autistic tenderqueer who's just abrasive and annoying and insufferable as all Actual Hell, and if you still love Star Vs. The Forces of Evil and acknowledge it's superior to absolutely Everything (cartoon wise) that came before and after it well into your early 30s, it's means you're probably Chill, Disabled, Kinky (so, Queer) and Cool.

Sorry I didn't make The Rules, Queen Eclipsa did.

Legit the only thing I learned from this post is that yeah... Steven Universe?

And people need to stop crying over it and putting it into the tags for adult shows.

I'll keep saying the only acceptable children's cartoon to crossover with Hazbin tags is Star vs. (I mean, for all the actual obvious goddamn fucking reasons) and vivziepop knows this.

Tenderqueer Steven Universe Stans (including OP) need to shut the fuck up and just delete.

Hazbin Hotel and Star vs. The Forces of Evil both Fuck, sometimes they even fuck each other, Steven Universe might not be "Garbage" but it ain't nearly the Hot Shit everyone makes it out to be ether, actually, Steven seems to be for abrasive ableists when it comes to it's adult audiences, and Star's is for the Disabled and Cute Girls who are young at heart and know that we're hotter and better than you and Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss are just like the adult versions of that and the fans of the actually superior shows are tired.

Now get out of our tags.

@saiscribbles likes to be transphobic on the twitter machine :)

All because they want to defend their fave (vivziepop) for doing an art trade w an open nazi (was on tumblr as user i-hate-jewice)

Theres a whole longass thread of them arguing w people over the whole thing, this was just when they started being shitty to a NB poc who was saying that theyre tired of white gays talking over poc

[huge-enthusiast]

Miraculous fic recomendations!!

This is just an excuse to show all my bookmarks? Yes. Yes, it is. I'm pretty sure most of this fics are really popular, but try see if you find something you didn't knew about!

All of the fics will be rated Teen and up audiences or lower. Also if I don't put the author's tumblr is because they didn't put it in the fic or/and I couldn't find it.

Pairing: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug

knowing you by emsylcatac (they are not really the author of the fic but that's the account that says in the fic, the actual author doesn't have an account).

After dropping their transformations months ago, Marinette and Adrien see each other for the first time after being apart. They've both left too much unsaid and have to work to pick up the pieces of their confused hearts.

Chapters: 1/1

Post-reveal but mostly ladynoir, light angst with happy ending.

the last day on earth by Reiaji

The first time Marinette sees Chat Blanc, she's fourteen years old. The second time, fifteen—the third time, seventeen.

The closer she grows to Adrien, the harder it is to save him.

Chapters: 1/1

Post-reveal lovesquare, kinda heavy angst, hopeful ending.

tell me something i don't know by carpisuns (@carpisuns here on tumblr)

Do you think it still means something? To love someone, even if the universe said you had to?

The odds of having a soulmate are about negative one billion (or something like that). But somehow, like they always have, Marinette and Chat Noir find themselves together. They’re ready to finally tell each other everything, but it turns out that even soulmates have to keep secrets, and while their bond draws them together, duty forces them apart.

Chapters: currently 17/28 (WIPs can be exhausting but this one is 100% worth the wait!)

Mostly marichat but almost all of the lovesquare sides make an appearance, soulmates au, mostly fluff but it can get angsty if it wants to.

One Thing After Another by SKayLanphear

Marinette notices that, sometimes, Adrien acts a little out of the ordinary--like the time he stood in a cardboard box for no reason, or when he actually hissed at Nino. It's only when she starts to notice the similarities between Adrien and a certain feline that she begins to get suspicious.

Basically, Adrien acts like a cat when he probably shouldn't.

Chapters: 15/15

Mostly adrienette with one sided reveal by Marinette's side, miraculous side effects (by both sides wich is really cool!), it's fluff with a lil tiny angst for drama.

This would take some getting used to by Codango (@codango here on tumblr!)

Adrien peeked out from behind the chimney even as the magic of his own Chat Noir mask fell away.

She was still visible, her dark hair bobbing under the street lamps a couple blocks away.

“Marinette.”

Adrien blew out a confused breath. His fiery Ladybug… was the quiet little mouse who sat behind him in class?

“What. The.”

This… would take some getting used to.

Chapters: 8/8

Adrienette with one sided reveal by Adrien's part, awkward flirting, just fluff, nothing to worry about.

comfort food also by Reiaji!

In Marinette's house, cooking is a language of love, and Marinette loves Adrien more than most.

Chapters: 1/1

Adrienette with a little of ladynoir, super super fluff, a lot of insight into Marinette's chinese heritage.

The right side of his face by walkingonthestars (@hamsternamedmarinette here on tumblr!)

Marinette and Adrien are able to remain in their new seats in the back of the room at the end of Chameleon.

Chapters: 1/1

Adrienette, fluff with light angst.

it's a long way forward so trust in me by aloneintherain (@captainkirkk here on tumblr!)

“You’re not the only strong one around here, Chat,” Marinette said. She looked a little winded, but she wasn’t struggling to hold him up.

This close up, he could see the freckles on the bridge of her nose. He could see how that smug smile lit up her eyes. He could feel the strain of her arms—and wow, okay, he really wasn’t the only person around here with muscles.

Six times Marinette carried Adrien (plus one time he carried her).

Chapters: 1/1

All the sides of the lovesquare! Fluff with LOTS of mutual pining.

a fight that you were born to lose also by aloneintherain

When the prosecution starts throwing around the word victim in reference to Adrien, he has to stuff his hands under his thighs to keep himself from bolting out of the courtroom.

Adrien had felt unsafe during those last few weeks, but, until he had woken up and seen Father silhouetted in his bedroom doorway, that had only been paranoia. Father was controlling and cold, but he wasn’t hateful. Adrien was isolated. He was often hungry. And some weeks ago, when he had snuck out to visit Nino, sitting thigh-to-thigh on his bed while Adrien cried in that silent, crumbling way of his, he hadn’t argued when Nino put a hand on his shoulder and said, tentatively, That’s abuse.

But Adrien remembers being small and Father touching his hair after he’d aced another test; Father holding his scribbled drawings like they were something precious, and framing them around his office; Father, dressed as Hawkmoth, his eyes wild behind the mask, lashing his sword against Adrien’s baton; Father, collapsed against Mum, crying into her ashy hair.

Adrien finds out Gabriel is Hawkmoth, and Gabriel gets to bring his long-waited plan into action.

Chapters: 1/1

This one doesn't really focus in the ship that much as is an Adrien character study and an exploration of his relationship with his father, but they're still there so I put them here. Really heavy angst (this is one of this fics that haunt me in the middle of the night) with a happy ending. ❗TW: parental abuse, eating disorders❗

Supercut by LNC

Marinette loves her friends and Adrien can't deal.

Chapters: 1/1

Post-reveal lovesquare, again light angst, an exploration of Adrien's insecurities, Marinette Dupain-Cheng deserves the world, happy ending.

Madame Snare by jettiebettie

“Sounds like a lot of work for nothing. She should take this as a sign to have a relaxing weekend with no responsibilities.”

“It's a lot of work she put her whole heart into. It wouldn't be right for it to go to waste,” Adrien whispers to him. The look on Marinette's face is enough to cause Adrien's own heart to ache. If anyone deserves the satisfaction and pride from a job well done, it's her.

“Too bad there isn't anyone else who can walk in those death traps,” Plagg says. Adrien hums in thought, tapping his chin.

“I could.”

Chapters: 1/1

Marichat, episode-based, Chat Noir in a dress!!!, light angst but it's mostly just idiots being idiots and a lot of fun.

in the same sun by peachcitt (@peachcitt here on tumblr!)

"It’s hard to believe that I saw you last at the peak of summer, when the sun was close and warm - and so were you. It should go without saying that I miss you. I miss you something terrible."

//

"It’s been seven months to the day since I’ve seen you. I wish you were here more than anything else."

Two letters, signed with initials instead of names, found in Paris, France.

Chapters: 1/1

Ladynoir, just angst, that's it, written like letters. No ending, just pain.

an uncurtain discovery by Missnoodles (@ladyofthenoodle here on tumblr!)

When he returns from school on Wednesday afternoon, Adrien discovers the darkness in his own home. He struggles to come to terms with it. To his utter mortification and delight, Ladybug is nearby to rescue him.

(He does not discover that his father is supervillain. That will happen on a different Wednesday.)

Chapters: 1/1

Ladrien, it says it's crack, and don't get me wrong, is super funny, but I also found it sad as fuck?

An Open Secret by Kasienda

Adrien whirled around toward Marinette. She smiled at him.

He couldn’t smile back. He stared at her like the dumb blond model that he was often accused of being.

Something shifted in her expression. And her warm open Marinette smile transformed into Ladybug’s grin. He was looking at Ladybug right now.

He knew Ladybug’s name!

Her name was Marinette Dupain-Cheng.

And he couldn’t say anything! Not to Marinette! Not even to Plagg, who had confided two weeks prior that Master Fu was growing increasingly paranoid since the location of his home and hideout had been compromised. Their master had apparently decided that Chat Noir and Ladybug would have to give up their miraculouses if they ever discovered each other’s identities.

It wasn’t fair!

...

A fic where they both know, but can't openly talk about it.

Chapters: 4/4

Post-reveal... but is it? Mostly adrienette and ladynoir, fluff with light angst and them being absolute idiots at hiding their secret identity.

golden (like daylight) by okayanna (@anna-scribbles here on tumblr!)

Friendship, Adrien decided, shaking off the mental image of Marinette’s hurricane eyes and hesitant mouth, parted in a small, careful “o.” He had a very strong friendship with Marinette. That was all.

or

Adrien thinks a lot about words, love, and Marinette Dupain-Cheng.

Chapters: 1 + epilogue

Adrienette but has lots of ladynoir, another Adrien character study because I hate myself, it tries to not be angst but the writing will punch you in the guts and make you cry, it's so good.

Strangers in the Bright Lights by poodles (@ladybeug here on tumblr!)

Adrien is about two drinks in when he sees a girl at the end of the bar wearing black cat ears. It's kind of weird, so he watches her, and although it's crowded he can see her face when she turns around. She’s wearing a Chat Noir mask. He takes a quick look around- nobody else is wearing a mask. Just her.

Adrien finishes his gin martini and heads over to her. He could use some company tonight anyways, he hasn’t told anyone he’s back in Paris and Nathalie won’t arrive in town for another month. And it’s been a rough day, okay? A rough move! He’s not sure he wants to be back yet, and he spent most of the day in the Agreste mansion sorting through some photographs of his father he found in the study. Maybe he wants a drink and some stranger to tell him he’s pretty! That’s not a crime, is it?

Chapters: 1/1

Adrienette but it's also ladrien??? I think??? It's super super angsty but they're both drunk the entirety of the fic so it's also really funny.

Pick-Up and Chase by also SKayLanphear

After she accidentally trips into Adrien and apologizes about "falling for him," Marinette learns that he's no match for cheesy pick-up lines--whether they were unintended or not. And while she finds it flattering that he turns into a flustered mess with only a few words, Marinette comes to regret making him uncomfortable. That is, until she learns he's Chat Noir. At which point the phrase "just deserts" becomes a permanent fixture in her everyday plans.

A story in which Adrien is flustered, Marinette is smooth as glass at dropping lines, and Chat Noir gets the romance he was always asking for--even if he doesn't quite know how to handle it.

Chapters: 10/10

Adrienette with one sided reveal by Marinette's side, it doesn't say it in the tags but I'm pretty sure the characters are much older than they actually are in the show, so much fluff and so much flirting.

Pairing: Alya Césaire/Nino Lahiffe

Nino Has Done Nothing To Deserve This by GuardianKarenTerrier (@guardiankarenterrier here in tumblr)

It's nothing, really- just an innocent comment, a joke. But when they hear it, Nino and Alya come to a realisation.

There were, in retrospect, dozens upon dozens of hints. Now that they're suddenly aware of all their friend's flimsy excuses and rushed explanations, they're not only sure how they've missed it, they're not sure how anyone else has either. They realise that it had to be magic protecting their friends- and that same magic has ceased to work on the two of them.

Well, this means they'll just have to start watching over their friends themselves.

Chapters: 7/7

This is more a found family fic than anything else, Alya and Nino are the mom friend, has light angst but it's mostly identity shenanigans in the most bizarre way. ❗TW: eating disorders❗

christmas lights by demistories

Nino checks up and down the street, checking to make sure there’s no raging akuma headed his way before he crosses quickly and ducks inside the small café. He closes the door quickly before the icy air can blow inside and tugs his beanie down over his ears. He spots Alya sitting alone in the corner.

Chapters: 1/1

Just fluff!! Really short but really sweet.

hold on, i still want you also by Missnoodles!

Written for the @thedjwifizine ! Wich I also recommend if you wanna binge a lot of djwifi fics while also looking at amazing art!!!

Five times Alya ran into her ex, and the one time he stopped being her ex.

Chapters: 1/1

Light angst with a happy ending! I don't really like the ex-lovers to lovers trope but this one is the only exception.

I will continue to expand the list in the future! But by now I hope I was helpful in the search of new fics!

[dreamerstreamer]

Pocket Knife Prince

Pairing: c!Technoblade x gn!reader

Summary: [Dream SMP!AU] You’ve liked Technoblade from the moment he joined Pogtopia, but you could never quite bring yourself to confess. Who knew it would only take a pocket knife and some potatoes to change that?

Warnings: minor cursing & one slightly out of pocket joke

Word Count: 4.2k

A/N: this a repost of an older story i had posted a while back. this story takes place back when technoblade was still allied with pogtopia. i hope you enjoy! <3

You huffed as you pulled yourself up another rung on the ladder, your arms straining as you did your best to keep yourself balanced. You still couldn’t fathom why Tommy thought it was a good idea to dig straight down.

“I’ll hit a cave, eventually,” he had told you as he grabbed a pickaxe, already starting to mine away at the space beneath his feet.

“Maybe,” you had said. “But what if you hit a lava pool? Do you really want to burn alive?”

“Oh, I have a backup plan in case I fuck up.” He held up a bucket of water, grinning at you. “Bam. Fucking foolproof.”

Yeah, sure, you thought to yourself with a grimace as you continued to haul yourself upward. You might not have died while digging down, but I might die while climbing up. 

Pausing, you reached behind you to adjust the strap of your back with a cry of frustration. This is way too heavy—I should have gone back earlier.

You looked back up again, squinting for a second before your eyes lit up. At long last, light! You were at least somewhat close to the entrance, now. “Just a bit more climbing,” you muttered to yourself as you reached up once more, “and then you’ll be able to take this stupid bag off.”

A few moments later, you gasped as you finally dragged yourself out of the vertical tunnel, standing up on shaky legs. Without even an ounce of hesitation, you swung your pack off your back, dumping it onto the dusty earth ungracefully. Your muscles practically screamed with relief as you rolled back your shoulders, a wide smile stretching across your face.

“Hey, boys!” you shouted, your voice echoing in the tall ravine. “Guess who’s back?!”

You heard some rumbling, then a tuft of blond hair peeked out from one of the overhanging pillars. “Big [Y/N]!” Tommy shouted, waving at you. “You took for-fuckin’-ever to get back.”

You stuck your tongue out at him, crossing your arms over your chest. “It’s not my fault we needed so much stuff.” You narrowed your gaze. “Also, your ladder idea sucks.” 

Tommy scowled. “My ladder idea is fucking genius, you bi—”

A new voice cut in. “Tommy, that’s enough.”

You smiled triumphantly as you watched Tommy immediately shrink back, his tone quieting as he grumbled defeatedly, “Yes, Wilbur.”

Giving him a quick ruffle of his hair, Wilbur strolled down the ravine’s cobblestone steps down to the bottom. He pulled his hands out of his coat pockets as he flashed you a grin. “Welcome back, [Y/N]. How was the trip?”

You offered him a weary but satisfied look. “Oh, you know. Dark. Dusty. The usual. But…” Bending down, you flipped open the top of your pack and pulled out a smaller sack, shaking it in front of his face. “…I got all that gold you wanted! There’s probably a little less than seven stacks in there, which will be plenty if we want to make some golden apples.”

Wilbur blinked at you, his eyebrows raised in surprise as a smile began to tug at his lips. “Not that I doubt you or anything,” he said, “but where in the world did you manage to get nearly seven stacks of gold?”

You shrugged nonchalantly, dropping the bag into his hands with a hum. “In a cave.” When he stared at you in stunned silence, you quirked a brow at him. “What? It’s not like it was hard.”

He was grinning now, shaking his head. “You’re batshit crazy, [Y/N]. That’s incredible.”

You smiled sheepishly at his words. “For the record,” you pointed out, “I didn’t do it all in a single day or anything. I was gone for, like, half a week.”

“That’s still really good work, alright?” He reached over, playfully punching your shoulder. “Don’t be so hard on yourself.”

You winced, shooting him a dirty look. “Ow, that hur—”

“Oh, you’re back.”

Your head whipped around at the sound of low, rumbling voice. Your frown vanished at the sight of Technoblade standing a few feet away from you, a basket of potatoes held in his gloved hands. You felt your heart swell and a bright grin replace your scowl as you bounced over to him. “Hi, Techno!” you chirped.

He smiled back at you, his gaze kind. “Hello.”

From behind you, Wilbur let out a distressed noise. “Jeez, you seem so excited to talk to him but barely batted an eye at me. Did you miss him that much?”

You stuck your tongue out at him, trying to hide the flush of your cheeks. “More than I did you.”

Tommy cackled as he walked by, adjusting the straps of the pack in his hands. “Ouch. Maybe you should get some ice for that burn, Wilbur.”

Wilbur grimaced, opening his mouth to retort when his gaze suddenly lit up. “Actually,” he said, turning, “speaking of ice, who wants to go with me to the Nether to destroy some of the SMP’s and Manberg’s ice roads?” A devilish grin split across his face. “I figured that it would slow them down a bunch and they’d spend less time focusing on us, so it’ll be easier for us to get into contact with Tubbo.”

You blinked at him, then sent him a teasing smile. “Wilbur, this might one of the only good ideas you’ve had since starting a drug cartel.”

“Thank y—wait, is that a compliment?”

“Man,” Technoblade sighed, rolling his eyes at him, “just take it as one and let your ego coast on that for the next six months.”

“Anyways,” Wilbur said, ignoring him and moving on, “who wants to come with me?”

You shook your head, shifting your weight from foot to foot. “No thanks. I just got back from a long, long mining trip. I think I’m due for some time off.”

Wilbur nodded. “Alright, fair.” His gaze moved to the figure standing next to you. “Techno?”

Technoblade simply raised the basket of potatoes in his hands. “Nah. I’ve got my hands full here.”

Wilbur made a face, a hint of desperation seeping into his eyes. “You can farm potatoes any time,” he said, his voice raising a pitch or two. “How about you just come with m—”

“Why don’t I just go?”

Wilbur froze, and he turned with a shaky smile. “A-Are you sure about that, Tommy? You sure you don’t just want to stay in the ravine with [Y/N]?”

Tommy shrugged, flipping the stick in his hand. “Not really. It’s not like I have anything better to do, anyways.” He nudged the pack at his feet. “I’m even packed and ready to go, too.”

Wilbur swallowed, and you could have sworn a bead of sweat rolled down his forehead. “You really want to come?” he added, sounding more and more uncertain with each word that passed his lips.

“I dunno, Wilbur,” Technoblade spoke up, quirking his lips at him, “but it almost sounds like you don’t want to bring Tommy with you.”

Tommy gasped, looking appalled. “What the hell, Will? Of course you want me to go with you, right?”

Wilbur turned on his heel, dragging a tired hand over his face. “Sure, Tommy. Let’s just say that.” He strode away toward the stairs, practically stomping his way up to the second floor. “Just give me a second to grab a pack,” he sighed, waving a hand behind him. “I’ll be down in like five minutes.”

Tommy threw his hands in the air, waving his stick. “Fuck yeah!”

Technoblade let out a quiet chuckle, turning on his heel. “Well, I’m gonna go back to farming.”

You glanced at him shyly, trailing after him. “Can I come with?”

His step faltered, and he turned to send you a fond look. “Always.”

Your heart lit up at the sight and you grinned, following him into the garden room. The entirety of the floor had been replaced with dirt, tiny streams of water weaving their way around the potato patches. You let out a quiet hum as Technoblade set the basket of potatoes on the ground, grabbing a hoe from its place on the wall and walking over to the makeshift field. Digging the blade of the hoe into the earth, he pulled back and repeated the motion until the soft, dark soil was exposed to the air. Leaning back against the wall, a soft smile crept onto your face as you watched.

You remembered when Technoblade first arrived in the Dream SMP, all those months ago. You had been sitting in the ravine, peeling an apple with a pocket knife as you chatted with Wilbur, when Tommy burst in with a deafening shout about “the blade”. Raising your head, you had opened your mouth to make a snarky retort, but the words died in your mouth the minute you laid eyes on him.

He looked like a prince—a handsome one, at that.

While Wilbur had jumped down to greet Technoblade with a friendly hug, you had simply stared at the newcomer, pocket knife in your hand and apple slice in the other. As Tommy brought Technoblade over to you and asked you to introduce yourself, you remembered that dizzy pink feeling rising in your chest as you blurted the first thing that came to mind.

“Want an apple slice?”

You had expected him to be confused, shaking his head and pulling away with a disgusted look. But instead, his gaze flickered to your hand.

“I’d rather have the knife.”

You had blinked at him for a moment, stunned, then burst into laughter, outstretching your hand with the pocket knife handle extended toward him. He had offered you a small, awkward smile back, gingerly taking the knife from you. When his hands brushed against yours, that hazy, rosy feeling swelled in your chest again.

Ever since that moment, you’d only fallen harder and harder.

It was difficult to put into words just what drew you to Technoblade. Of course, he was pretty, but you weren’t that shallow. He had an awkward charm to him, something that seeped into every aspect of his being. He was hardworking, determined, sarcastic, and oh-so very real. You couldn’t name one thing about him that you didn’t like, really. You loved his laughter that came in brief, giggling bursts. Every time he smiled, you couldn’t help but smile back. He never failed to keep you guessing, and you loved every second you spent with him.

You weren’t sure how far you’d fallen at this point, but you knew one thing, and it was that there was no going back.

“Hey,” a new voice said suddenly, pulling you away from your thoughts. You turned, watching Tommy stick his head into the room. “Can I have some potatoes for the trip?”

Your eyes shot to Technoblade, who paused for a moment, then nodded, gesturing to the basket at his feet. “Sure. You can have a couple.”

Tommy grinned, strolling in to lean down and pluck three potatoes from the pile. Standing back up again, he toed the basket, tossing and catching a potato in his hands. “Hey, Techno,” he said, “don’t you ever get tired of farming these things?”

Technoblade paused, patting down the dirt he had just covered another potato with. “Eh, not really.” His eyes flickered with contentment, and you felt your lips twitch. “I like it.”

Tommy frowned. “But,” he said, “it’s so fucking boring.”

You gasped, shooting him a glare. “Tommy! That’s mean.”

“What? Am I wrong?” He flung his arm out to point at the tilled dirt, clearly unimpressed. “All he’s doing is the same fucking thing over and over, again. We’re in a war, [Y/N]. Why can’t he just spar with me or something?”

You crossed your arms over your chest, deadpanning. “Tommy, the last time you sparred with Technoblade, you lasted less than ten seconds.” 

He grew quiet. “Okay, well, you didn’t have to put it like that, but—”

“What? Am I wrong?” you said, mimicking him.

A second passed. Then two.

“…touché, [Y/N].”

“Tommy!” Wilbur’s voice echoed from the top of the stairs, his head popping out from between the railings. “You ready to go?”

Without missing a beat, Tommy whipped around, rushing out of the farm room and slipping up the stairs. “I’m coming!”

A smirk tugged at Wilbur’s lips. “Heh.”

“Wha—oh, Will! That’s fucking disgusting.”

“But it was funny,” you called out after the youngest.

“Fuck off, [Y/N]!”

Beside you, Technoblade let out a laugh, his eyes curving into two crescent moons as he set down the hoe and picked up a shovel. With a fond smile gracing your lips, you took a step toward him, leaning down to take a closer look. There was something so endearing about knowing someone as powerful as Technoblade had a hobby as mundane as farming—farming potatoes, to be more specific. 

You liked it. A lot. You liked him a lot.

You wondered how much longer you could go without saying it aloud.

“Hey, Techno,” you murmured, watching his ears perk up at the sound of your voice, “could you teach me the best way to plant potatoes?”

He paused, his shovel planting itself in the earth as he turned to look at you, his lips parted in surprise. “Y-You actually want to learn?”

You bobbed your head, praying that your face wasn’t growing any warmer. “Of course. Fighting’s fun and all, but there’s more to life than just bloodshed.” You flashed him a bright grin. “Besides, an army needs food to fight!”

With a small grin, he gestured for you step closer. “You want to make sure you dig about six to eight inches down,” he explained, gesturing down the hole with his finger. “If you don’t dig deep enough, then the potato will be too close to the surface, and if you dig too deep, it’ll have a harder time reaching the top.”

You nodded, your tongue swiping over your lips in concentration. Technoblade let out a brief cough, turning away with a slight flush to his cheeks as he grabbed a potato from the basket next to him. “Then,” he continued, “grab a potato. You’ll want to cut it in half down the middle and plant it so the cut side is facing downwards.”

Sticking a hand into his pocket, he rummaged around for a second before pulling out a familiar pocket knife. Your eyes flashed with recognition as he flipped the blade open and sliced through the potato with ease.

“Is that,” you began slowly, your tone tentative and gentle, “my pocket knife? From when we first met?”

Technoblade’s hands faltered as he sliced, his gaze flickering to you with a bashful look. “It’s—um, yeah. Does… does that bother you?”

You immediately shook your head, waving your hands in front of you. “No, not at all! I-I was just wondering. I haven’t seen it in a while, that’s all.”

He lowered his chin, and you could have sworn his cheeks were pink. “I’ve been taking good care of it,” he admitted quietly, his gaze not meeting yours. “It’s important to me.”

You blinked, your heart beating faster in your chest. “It is?” you whispered.

He nodded. “It is.”

You wanted to curl up into a ball and squeal. It only took two simple words from him to send you into a flurry of awkward smiles and blushing whines. You couldn’t believe just how far gone you were.

Technoblade stretched a hand toward you, half of the potato he cut clutched between his fingers. “Here. You try planting one.”

With a shaky hand, you gently pulled the potato from his hands, nearly flinching at the feeling of his skin brushing against yours. Carefully, you reached over and set the potato face down like he had instructed. You pointed your hand toward the pile of dirt lying just beside the hole, about to start covering the potato when his arm shot out in front of you.

“Wait,” he said suddenly, making you freeze in place. “You don’t have gloves on. I don’t want your hands to get dirty.”

You sent him a small smile, waving a hand dismissively at him. “A little dirt never hurt anyone.”

He didn’t budge. “Please. Let me.”

That fuzzy feeling was back, and you pulled back. “Okay,” you whispered, your stomach swarming with butterflies as you watched him cover your planted potato with his hands. For someone who made a lot of jokes regarding human ethics, he was far more caring than he let on.

“Y’know,” you said softly, glancing over at him, “it’s really cool watching you do this, even if Tommy thinks it’s boring.” A small smile flitted across your face. “There are all these specific conditions that you have to know to have the most efficient farm with the best percent yield of potatoes—it’s honestly kind of surreal just how much brainpower actually goes into farming.”

Technoblade stared at you, his eyes reflecting something thoughtful and warm, and another thought popped into your head. You felt your cheeks begin to grow warm at the words swirling around your head. Swallowing the lump in your throat, you opened your mouth, again.

“I-I, um,” you began shakily, suddenly finding the scuff mark on your shoe very interesting, “I really hope you know how smart we think you really are. How smart I know you are. Because you are. Smart, that is.”

You must have been trembling, you could almost feel it. Why was it so hard to put your feelings into words? At this rate, you were never going to be able to confess how you felt. Just how much longer could you drag this out fo—

“Hey,” he said gently, his voice pulling you out of your thoughts. You turned your head, your lips parting as you looked at him in surprise. The moment his soft gaze met yours, a spark of electricity ran through your veins, and you shivered for an entirely different reason.

“Thank you,” he murmured, tilting his head at you. “I appreciate it.”

Suddenly, he squinted his eyes at you, his carmine gaze narrowing. “Oh wait, you’ve got something on your face,” he murmured, inching closer in to take a better look.

“Oh,” you said, a hand immediately darting up to your cheek, “that’s probably just some dust or soot or something. You know, from the mines.” You wiped at your face with the back of your hand, embarrassment shooting up your spine knowing that you probably looked dumb. “Did I get it?”

He frowned, pulling off his gloves as he leaned closer. “No, here let me just—”

Suddenly, his hand was on your face, your cheek held gently in his palm. Your heart came barreling to a stop, your entire body freezing like ice. 

He was so close.

The pads of his finger were warm and calloused, yet they held a certain softness to him as his thumb slowly swiped just under her eye, careful to brush away the dirt that marred your face. Like a moth drawn to a flame, you found yourself unable to look away from him, hyperaware of the goosebumps that shot up your sides as his gaze met yours. A prince—he really did look like a prince.

For a moment, the two of you simply gazed at one another, a silent question hanging over you.

Before you could stop yourself, you opened your mouth.

“Can I say something kind of crazy?” you whispered.

“Of course,” he whispered, not moving his gaze from yours for even a heartbeat.

You sucked in a deep breath, screwing your eyes shut. “I…” You swallowed. “I really, really want to kiss you, right now.”

A moment of silence passed, and you held your breath, tension digging itself into your shoulders. Oh, I’m totally about to get rejected. This was such a bad idea. What was I even thinki—

“Can—” He started then stopped, and you could have sworn his cheeks were pink. “Can I say something even crazier?”

You heart leapt. “Yeah, totally,” you breathed.

He turned back to look at you, and you felt something deep in your chest click. “I really, really want to kiss you, too.”

Your eyes flew wide, and you couldn’t stop the giddy grin forming on your face. Almost imperceptibly, Technoblade dipped his head down close to yours, his crimson eyes darting across your face as he took in your every feature. As he leaned closer toward you, a question silently flashes in his gaze. 

Can I…?

You smiled and nodded oh-so subtly, just for him to see.

Yes, yes, yes.

Ever so slowly, he leaned down toward you, and you felt your eyelids flutter shut. Just then, his lips met yours, soft and tentative like a deer taking its first, shaky steps. Electric ran down your spine at his velvet touch, your hands reaching up to wrap around his neck and touch his cherry blossom pink hair. His crown tumbled to the ground off his head, rolling a few times before coming to a full stop, but neither of you particularly noticed, far too enraptured with one another to care.

This was everything you could have possibly asked for.

A moment later, you pulled apart, gasping for air as the two of you gazed into each other’s eyes. His hair had been mussed by your touch, his lips parted and puffy from the kiss.

You didn’t think he could look any more princely, but he still managed to prove you wrong.

Clearing your throat, you cast eyes away in shy embarrassment. “I feel like I should also clarify that this means I like you,” you added in a rush, fidgeting with your hands. “Like, way more than I thought I could ever like a person.”

Technoblade let out a sigh of relief, lips curling at the corners. “Oh, that’s good. I like you, too.” Your heart did a backflip in your chest, shouting in celebration as he added, “I was sort of thinking we were just gonna kiss and never talk about it, again.”

You shot him a quizzical look. “I can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic.”

He sent you a crooked smile, but his gaze was fond. “Only kind of.”

You weren’t quite sure how many minutes passed in comfortable silence, both of you simply basking in the other’s warm presence. It was nice—this was nice. You wouldn’t mind staying like this for a while longe—

“—y it, Tommy, just say it!”

Your eyes shot wide open in panic. Across from you, Technoblade’s expression mirrored your own.

They were back.

“I’m telling you it’s okay, Tommy—you can call me ‘Wilby’ if you want to!”

Flailing your arms in a panic, you immediately began to backpedal to the other side of the room, Technoblade picking up his shovel and beginning to shovel as fast as he could.

“You’re still going off about this shit? Jesus Christ, I don’t want to call you ‘Wilby’, oh my fucking go—”

Wilbur crooned as they stepped into the garden room, “Aww, Tommy, my little gremlin.”

“Shut the fuck up, Wilbu—”

“B-Back so soon?” you prompted, pretending to have been looking at the potato field with great focus as you turned to face them.

Wilbur turned away from Tommy, the smile sliding off his face. He nodded with a sigh, adjusting the pack on his back. “We almost got to the portal, but Antfrost saw us, so we had to book it.” 

Technoblade paused his movements, deadpanning with an unimpressed tone. “Tragic.”

Tommy scowled at him. “Don’t sound so cocky, bitch. You didn’t have to outrun like, half of the SMP all the way back here without getting tracked.” Suddenly his gaze shot to the ground, narrowing his eyes suspiciously. “And why’s your fuckin’ crown on the ground?” he muttered, snatching it from the dusty floor and tossing it back over to Technoblade.

“No reason,” you said half a beat too quickly.

Wilbur’s eyes flitted back forth between you and Technoblade, taking in the sight of your flushed cheeks and Technoblade’s disheveled hair. Then, a sly, scheming smile crept onto his face. You gulped.

Oh, he totally knew.

“Tommy,” he said, the shit-eating grin still plastered to his face, “how do you feel about going on another trip with me?”

Tommy’s head whipped around, his eyes swimming with confusion. “Another trip?” he parroted.

Wilbur nodded, still smiling. “Yep. Another trip. Let’s get going, yeah? I’ve got something wonderful in mind.”

Before Tommy could even react, Wilbur had grabbed onto the handle of his pack, dragging him back and up the stairs. “Wilbur! What the fuck? Where are we even fucking going?”

“On a trip!” Wilbur sang as he trudged up the stairs with Tommy in tow. Throwing one last glance over his shoulder, he sent you a knowing wink. “You two have fun, now.”

You gaped at him as he walked off, Tommy still kicking at his heels when they vanished from sight. A moment passed in silence before you turned to look at Technoblade, again.

“He knows,” you whispered, half in awe and half in horror.

Technoblade grimaced back at you. “Oh, he absolutely does.”

A beat of silence fell over you. Your eyes locked onto his carmine ones, and something seemed to click just then, a smile crossing both of your faces.

Indeed, Wilbur had just provided you with the perfect opportunity.

Who were the two of you to not take it?

[dilucids]

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤCelebrity crush, Genshin boys idol! au

admitting you're their celebrity crush and their reaction to your reaction

includes: kaeya, diluc, zhongli and xiao

( can't stop thinking about idol! au genshin. any type of celebrity but it's hinted that you're a singer in xiao's. )

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ〔 KAEYA ALBERICH ━━ FROSTWIND SWORDSMAN 〕

━━ this man is sooooo fucking slick with it.

━━ he'll slyly bring it up in an interview or a live with a smirk on his face and then act as if it never happened when someone questions him.

━━ his members just stares at him when he brings you up, knowing, that beneath that sly persona and nonchalant act, there was millions pounds worth of fan merchandise in his room.

━━ he would evade the subject and if it's an interview, the host would have to pry answers from his members instead as he sits there proudly with a smile on his face as his members tell his fan behaviour instead of him.

━━ in a live, he would somehow convince his fans they were hallucinating but someone would post the clip and everyone would just go ballistic, it'd be one of those "top ten things i can't believe kaeya managed to get away with: gaslighting his fans into believing they were crazy."

"Who's your favourite celebrity?" Kaeya reads out from the comments passing quickly through his Instagram live, he pretends to think. A smile forms on his face when he 'decides' on an answer, "probably [Name]."

He watches the comments speed through even quicker before changing the subject, dropping the matter as if it never happened. His fans are all freaking out though, wanting to get more details on his crush on the celebrity but Kaeya ignores all comments about the subject. They never die down though, only ending when Kaeya himself ends the live.

━━ you may have ended on the same show some time after him and the host brings it up ( 100% planned for views ).

━━ it makes you smile because you've already been informed about this topic by your fans and kaeya's.

━━ you'd end up thanking kaeya for the support and say that you've also been lowkey a fan of his group but you've never openly stated that to anyone.

━━ his fans and your fans immediately get to work and start tagging kaeya's insta/twitter, group and personal, under the clip of you shyly admitting you're a fan of his also and he goes mental.

━━ probably sits there watching the entire interview with a huge smile on his face, and it doesn't leave, not even after he finishes the interview ( bonus: diluc is very disturbed ).

━━ HUGE ego boost for the rest of the day. kaeya's normally very confident but he's extra confident, like starts strutting around like he's the shit and even had the balls to nod his head at diluc as if to say "what's up" with the largest shit eating grin on his face.

━━ diluc definitely thought he was picking a fight.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ〔 DILUC RAGNVINDR ━━ DARKNIGHT HERO 〕

━━ more likely to come from one of his members than him.

━━ or he'd be very smooth with it, and brings it up rather subtly. it'd be a small "oh, i ingest their content and enjoy it" and he'd just continue about his day

━━ and his fans will still go insane because diluc actually enjoying something seems weird, especially another celebrity's work

━━ this would obviously reach you, who was an open fan of his group, and you'd freak out when you see it but wouldn't bring it up because he only said he enjoyed your work, not he was a fan.

━━ would definitely get questioned if he was being interviewed on a talk show, he wouldn't evade the question.

━━ he doesn't really see a point in lying, so he simply shrugs and tells the host that he is a fan and owns some merchandise.

"Diluc, a few fans are curious about your statement the other day," the host redirects the questions to Diluc, who raises an eyebrow. "Is it true that you're a fan of [Name]?"

The question makes his heart pick up a little, he leans back on his chair and clears his throat, composing himself before nodding. "I am a fan," the host seems happy by his response. The conversation continues to steer in this direction, asking Diluc if he had attended any fan meetings or merchandise, how he would feel if you two collaborated for a project and then finally ending once the host asks other members if they were fans of anyone.

━━ he thinks nothing of it, continuing with his day as usual but when he gets mentioned by your twitter? the man loses his shit.

━━ he sits there staring at his screen like he was hallucinating and literally tunes everything else out, staring at your little: "i'd love to work with you too!" message with a small smiley face at the end.

━━ he checks the account multiple times just in case it was one of his fans trolling him but clicking on the @ takes him back to your account so he gives in at some point

━━ he types out a normal, professional "thank you, i hope a time comes when we can collaborate" and "i look forward to more of your works" but he's still losing his shit.

━━ stays in his mind for at least a week.

━━ fans always bring up the fact that y'all never did end up collaborating.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ〔 ZHONGLI ━━ VAGO MUNDO 〕

━━ the public is very aware.

━━ he's never made an attempt to hide how he is a fan, not even the massive poster in his room or the little keychain that he hangs on his bag nor the red eyeliner belonging to a makeup brand that you became a brand embassador for, also now one of his favourite brands.

━━ so no one is really surprised when he talks about you or your upcoming work, what is kinda surprising is when he straight up says that he says you're his ideal type.

━━ not because it's shocking that you'd be anyone's ideal type but because they didn't expect the out of the blue question from host and it's even more mind boggling when the man doesn't even stutter nor even think before just saying your name.

━━ members are sat beside him literally losing their shit in both negative ( scandals and shit ) and positive ( it's fucking hilarious ) ways as he just blinks.

━━ he doesn't even look the slightest bit worried as he stares dead straight through the host's head.

━━ obviously scandals emerge, there are positive and negative reactions. some people suddenly realise how good you two would look together and others are mad you "stole" their man because we have delulus in all fandoms.

"So Zhongli," the host starts before clearing his throat, obviously a tad uncomfortable under the eldest member's sudden gaze, "who is your ideal type?" The members also seem curious, as they stop their interactions, staring over at their unusually emotionless member.

One member laughs, waving the question off as a joke and as a way to avoid any possible scandals, knowing that Zhongli wouldn't filter his words due to his lacking understanding of social cues. "C'mon, there's no way that he has an id━━"

"If I had to say, then [Name] suits my preferences." The member who tried to wave it off blinks, staring at Zhongli like he just murdered someone and other members laugh. The host seems pleasantly surprised, peering at the camera with a raised eyebrow and a certain look on his face. The entire studio never gets over it.

━━ it's brought to your attention on twitter because twitter is usually where shit goes down.

━━ you've always been aware that zhongli has been a fan but you've never been able to speak up about it due to your management.

━━ luckily for you, your contract with your previous strict company had ended just a while ago and under your new management, you were more free to do whatever you wanted.

━━ so obviously, you quote tweet the video, tag his account and say in a jokingly way that he should take you out on a date first.

━━ he doesn't publicly reply to your tweet because he already got in trouble with his management for answering such a risky question anyways and your tweet is a little too suggestive.

━━ but he also wants you to know he has seen the tweet. so his solution? to slip into your dms.

━━ and all of a sudden, the next time you're both seen together, you're besties? so people started connecting dots and shit, were they good at connecting them. moral of the story: never underestimate zhongli fans because collectively, they may be able to beat zhongli in an iq test.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ〔 XIAO ━━ CONQUEROR OF DEMONS 〕

━━ best believe this man got death threated or held at gunpoint into admitting you're his celebrity crush.

━━ or he didn't do it at all and his members confessed for him just to tease him.

━━ happens on a group live, members are just vibing.

━━ xiao is sat in the back somewhere, scrolling through his phone with his earphones in so he doesn't notice his members shifting the camera to him or jumps onto him whilst holding the camera.

━━ when he does notice though, he takes out his earbud and your song just blARES through his earphone and it's fucking loud.

━━ he immediately turns it down but his fellow member already has this shit eating grin on his face and jumps onto xiao, successfully grabbing his phone and showing the live of 100k+ people.

━━ his homescreen is one of those "boyfriend/girlfriend/partner material" lockscreens of you and it shows that your song had been playing.

━━ xiao literally attacks his members and grabs his phone back, walking off to escape the embarrassment but can hear the echoing laughter as he walks down the hallway and slams his door closed.

Xiao lets out a sudden 'oompf' when his members glomps right ontop of him, grinning widely as they held up a camera to show off themselves and Xiao. Glancing at the camera, Xiao takes off an earbud, freezing when a loud upbeat tune echoes throughout the open area. Xiao ignores the feeling of his face heating up and turns down the song, ignoring the obvious gleeful stare of his member.

Almost on instinct, he moves his phone away but curse his parents for their genes because all it takes is a little stretching for his member to have his greasy fingers all over his phone, ripping it out of his hands and immediately running away to shield themselves from the wrath of all 5" and a bit of Xiao. When they deem it safe, they click on the home button of the screen, grinning amused at the homescreen.

"Look at fanboy Xiao!" And just like that, Xiao's cold demeanour had been shatteres infront of a plethora of people.

━━ you find it one of the most endearing things ever.

━━ literally how could you not? you find pride in yourself to have such a popular member of an idol group enjoy your work and it helps gain a little more confidence in yourself.

━━ it's brought up on a talk show kinda casually where the host is one of your friends so they are slightly teasing you for it all the whilst remaining on the professional side.

━━ and it's obvious to say that you're embarrassed by the way you chuckle and mess with your fingers and hair, but you hold yourself together anyways and manage a sweet "thank you for the support" to xiao when the host asks if you wanted to say something in case he was watching.

━━ and the very next day, on xiao's official instagram, he has a signed album and poster of yours, tagged and everything.

[dienamights]

A Reverberate Lullaby | K.Bakugou

✎ The echoing howls stalk you, a ghost hunched on your shoulders, wailing like a child calling for rescue, who cries with no tears. Chanting for a hero that is willing to pick up the pieces of its soul and being, yet it is only left to wither. For the ghost has lost faith that such others exist and can only be cured by finding them, for you are the ghost of your world and love is the only true exorcist.

✎ Protagonists: Katsuki Bakugou x Fem!Reader.

✎ Word count: 4.1K

✎ Category: hurt/comfort, Implied Mature Content MDNI, Prohero!au, Established relationship!au

✎ Caution(!): Implied Mature Content MDNI, mention of depressive state, toxic family, toxic coping mechanism, mention of reader’s weight gain and thoughts about self worth. Please keep in mind while every person’s reaction to depression is different, don’t belittle anyone’s battle when you don’t understand it.

✎ Author’s notes: Hello! Hope everyone’s taking care! Still on hiatus BUT I’m here to post my contribution to the Mental Health Awareness collab by @doinmybesthere​ ! This has been in the works for a while because I kept scarping ideas for triggering me lmao. This piece is very personal to me and I’m glad I am able to share my experience with you all, I hope that it might help anyone out there in reaching out and asking for help because I know how difficult and scary it might be! Please check out everyone’s contribution that they worked so hard for! kisses kisses take care!

OOH ALSO! Thank you so much for 900 followers aaaaaah! You’re all so amazing and if anyone has suggestions for an event to hold in June lemme know! I’ll also think of some ideas

» Masterlist | Requests | Taglist

The morning sun barely rises and peaks through your blinds, sunshine starting to kiss at your cheeks as you squint at the light, the room welcoming the warmth that is being brought into it after the evening’s chill that made you curl tighter in on yourself, clasping whatever heat you could muster than to turn around and find it in the heating pad of a body that lays next to you. 

An alarm only just rings before quickly being shut off, followed by the creaking of the bed when the person behind you shifts, shifts again, another time, before getting up and stalking to the bathroom, after letting an elongated sigh when they sit at the edge of the bed, not acknowledging your presence accompanying theirs. The door clicking closed before the trickling of water fills the quiet room.

Your clock reads 5 am when you squint at it, and you blink at the time before you go on with your routine, setting up breakfast while your boyfriend gets ready to go to work. 

Oddly enough, you don’t really quite remember when you started working on the food, all that you could see in front of you is nothing but a scene that looks like it’s out of a broken TV - there’s just so much static. The voices are distorted, as if they’re coming from a defective radio.

“Listen, this ain’t about me, this is about you and how you-”

“What about me? Huh? That you see me as nothing but a burden? No, you can say it-”

“You wanna hear me fuckin’ say it then fine! This is about you sitting on yer ass all day obsessing over her while she wouldn’ give you the time of day y/n. When will you fuckin’ realize that?”

The scene blurs and sways, and you feel your mind run at a speed you didn’t know it could muster, and you’re unable to keep up with it. The knife in your hand shakes vigorously and barely misses your fingers when you bring it down to cut the vegetables.

The sound of the bedroom door shutting closed alerts you, straightening your back when you hear the drop of your boyfriend’s gauntlet by his chair at the dining table. Katsuki approaches you with careful steps, his still ungloved hand circles your waist before pressing his lips to your temple, a gruff greeting of a whisper laced in between.

“G’morning.”

The familiar scent of caramel mixed in with his aftershave welcomes you, wraps around you and cradles you, promising everlasting safety and happiness. Yet, your heart wrenching sobs and muffled crash of your laptop against your floor that rings in your ears tell a different story, shrieking at you, roaring about your failures, mocking your entire existence.

“Made gohan, should be ready in a minute.” you mumble back, posture stiff at the close proximity of Katsuki and you feel the curl of his lips in displeasure pressing into your temple from both not reciprocating his greeting and your choice of meal for the morning. “You don’ eat gohan,” 

“s’why I’m making it.” The quick retreat from your figure is like a slap to your face, and you barely stop yourself from reaching out and forcing his arms back around you. Because it's the bite in his voice that halts your movement. 

“You’re still going?” you finally turn to take a look at him, the garnets in his eyes shifting, bleeding from hurt, betrayal, confusion, you really weren’t sure. And by God you had no energy left to try and figure out. “Yes I’m still going Katsuki, they’re my-”

“Yer really listenin’ to the bullshit spillin’ outta ya? This isn’t about em being your family y/n, we’ve been through with it already.” the space between you two feels like endless miles, pieces of the broken bridge you both worked so hard to build the only evidence of it ever being there, the rest crumbling into the valley in between your bodies.

“No, you’ve been through with it, I just wanna make things right, m-maybe I can fix it”

“It ain’t yours to fix y/n, when will you realize that?”

“No!” there you go again, sobbing pathetically. “W-why can’t I have a family, huh? Why- why can’t I, fuck, have a family that just loves and supports me a-and just doesn’t- ” your voice croaks, not failing to notice how Katsuki stepped away from the wreck in front of him. Probably having had enough of you, had enough of how troubling and bothersome you are, probably wondering how he got roped with all your shit and got dragged into your mess of a life.

His hands feel like scolding fire when they’re placed on your shoulders, halting their shaking as you cry into the palm of your hand to muffle the sobs, a habit Katsuki has been working so hard on to help you overcome, saddened to see you try and hide your vulnerability from him.

“Because they never made an effort, so why should you?” The tugging at your heart burns, the swallowed sobs feel like needles prickling at your lungs, making breathing feel like an impossible chore. You can’t help but feel restrained whenever you’re presented with the truth, especially unfiltered and unsugarcoated like right now, you know he’s right, you’ve known he was right a long time ago, but admitting it out loud just felt borderline impossible. 

So you do what you do best, push him away, all the strength you can muster barely budges his figure, the meal forgotten on the counter as you run and lock the bedroom door on yourself.

Your footsteps feel heavy, dreading the topics and scenes you’re bound to relive. The grip on the strap of your shoulder bag tightening as you push the glass door open. A sigh escapes past your lips again as you enter the restaurant, half-heartedly smiling at the hostess before making your way inside to look for them.

It’s always the same scenery, the kind that always makes you want to run away to the other direction instead of being dragged down into whatever hell this is. And you pause to question yourself, again, why you actually agreed to put yourself out there.

There they are, seated in the four person table, with two empty seats, one for yourself and the other for the sibling your mother always hoped to have instead of you.

Your mother’s pursed lip could be seen from where you stand at the entrance, the clicking of her tapping foot sounding as bad as grinding metals in your ear, you hate it, despise it

It’s the same clicking you learned to memorize, to anticipate, to fear, when she passed by your room, the clicking that made you smother your face in your pillows and swallow your sobs, because the sound of you crying brought her more distress and annoyance than concern for her daughter.

With another tug at the hem of the shirt you’re wearing, you approach the table, hugging your father when he stands up and nodding to your mom when she eyes your figure.

“Good morning mother. It’s good to see you.”

“What’s wrong with your hair?”

Here we go, you breathe out before tugging at a strand of hair, spitting out your words “nothing’s wrong with it.”

“Then why does it look awful like that?”

There are times like these where you are left to question your reasoning for accepting whatever invitation you received from your parents to have brunch with them after all those months, a moment of weakness deceiving you into believing it was better than to spend it in your empty apartment, with the silence that ate away at your sanity every second. The only evidence of life in it other than yours was the recently cleaned dishes and the note thanking you for the meal, the promise of cuddles and movies tonight making you gain just a little more patience, barely.

You refrain from answering, your response is to lower your head, drag the dining chair before plopping on it, a dreary sigh escaping your lips as you scoot your chair closer to the table. Your mother never changes, it’s been a while since you were able to move out of her home, and while your father tries to tell you that these brunches are a way to reconnect with them, you yourself know that it’s merely a chance for your mother to nitpick at everything you ever did or are doing since you left.

“How have you been y/n.” your father smiles at you, both of you ignoring the sound of your mother kissing her teeth when her attempted jab at you is ignored. “Uh, I uh I’ve been good, I just wrapped up with my exams and so far things have been-” 

“How is your hero boyfriend?” 

For a second, you contemplate whether to ignore her question and keep conversing with your dad, dreading the questions that are to be pushed your way regarding Katsuki, of which will be used as bragging material for when she meets whatever group of friends she associates herself with, but you know better than to ignore her with the way she gets when she isn’t fed with attention. 

“He’s uh, good.”

“Why isn’t he here today? What, too good to meet us?” your mother nags, and for the love of God, would that fucking clicking ever stop?

“No, he’s doing his job of, you know, being a hero.”

“Is he now? Well, what about you, hm?” She cocks her head as her nails tap the table. ”Did you think your father and I wouldn’t figure out you got fired?”

“How-” the gritting of your teeth is deafening at this point, your jaw clenching so tightly as you and your mother stare each other down. “Your dad pulled some strings, it isn’t that hard. So tell me, you like leeching off of him after you were done with us?”

“This isn’t, I just- I was- I, I had a lot of university work piling up a-and I couldn’t make time for my shifts and I just, it was just so hard for me to get out of bed these days and I.” why are you doing this? Why are you explaining yourself to people that don’t deserve it? Why are you feeding off of their acceptance, knowing damn well you never got it, and that thing was never gonna change. 

“Oh, I don’t wanna hear about you not getting out of bed, you’re here now aren’t you? This is all in your head y/n. You need to stop talking nonsense, what’re people gonna say about you, about me, when they hear you?” 

It feels just like yesterday, your figure standing and facing your full length mirror, your reflection eyeing you with identical vacant eyes. Fingers running through your bed head, a wince escaping you at the movement. Bringing your hand up and catching a glimpse of a slight swollen purple bruise along your wrist and the dried blood on your knuckles, the skin stretching upon rotating your wrist and causing notable pain.

Alas, that pain paled in comparison to when your mom barged into your room, blaming you for the way you were acting and belittling your reasoning. Beckoning your father over to replace your broken vanity and for your house maid to disinfect the space, the place sparkling clean and void of any evidence of what had transpired the day prior. 

The shattered glass was picked up and thrown out, the splatters of blood were wiped clean, and whenever you brought up, what your mom refers to as ‘the temper tantrum’, you’re ignored by both your parents as they continued about their day, fearing the shame it would bring upon their name if the event was to catch others’ attention. 

“Good morning! I’ll be your server for the day. What can I get you?” the foreign voice sounds more comforting than your own mother’s, and you almost laugh at the irony of it, but you only return her smile and take a look at the menu. Lighting up a smidge at the name of one of the dishes, while your parents place their order.

“Can I please get the soufflé pancake?” you look up to catch the horrified look on your mother’s face, followed by her clicking her tongue and shaking her head as if your choice of food was shameful. 

“Certainly-”

“Uh, no she won’t be having that. Get her the Honzen Ryori,” your mother eyed your figure -whatever was visible to her from across the table- before turning to face the server again “maybe cut down on the rice, God knows she doesn’t need the extra calories.” and waves her off, disregarding your protests and tapping her nail against the table top, her annoying method in demanding your silence, which you subconsciously react to, snapping your mouth shut when the sound reaches your ears.

“What was that for? You know I like having sweet breakfasts,” was fuming even close to what you are feeling? Probably not. “Yes I can clearly see that, you’ve let yourself go as well. Do you think that boyfriend of yours will stick around when you start putting on even more weight?”

At a loss for words, you turn to your father, who has been quiet this whole time, for any sense of support when it comes to his wife. But the way he presses his lips together tells you all you need to know, how just because he isn’t bad as her, doesn’t make him that great of a parent. That standing by while you have been bullied your entire childhood and well into your adulthood is just as bad as being the cause of it. 

“God forbid he realizes how much of a train wreck you really are and throws you on the side of the street, because you know damn well we won’t be here to pick you up.”

It began as a whispering in the air. The day had been beautiful -well, as beautiful as it can be with the kind of day you’re having- and the sky was like a dome of plasma-blue. The clouds had looked like airy anvils drifting under the gleaming disc of sun. People quickened their pace as the clouds began to gather in the sky. The postcard-perfect sky started changing. The beautiful cocktail-blue shade merged in with the flaming orange and mesmerizing purple as the sun sunk deep into the horizon, before beginning to darken into gravel-grey. Large pillows of cloud start to form, blocking out the old-gold color of the sun.

The first splatter of rain hits you when you’re halfway across the street, dismissing the need to take shelter under the roof of the buildings like some passersby are doing, hoping to see out the shower. Droplets of moisture begin to drip onto your head, sprinkling onto you like a gardener’s hose. It was well after your meal with your parents, and you had spent the last few hours walking aimlessly through the streets, making sure to avoid those covered by your boyfriend during his patrol. Hoping, praying, that something will clear your head, will help your poor jumbled mess of a mind forget about this entire nightmare of a day.

Should’ve listened to him 

The rainfall intensifies, the drops drumming against the hood of the cars that you pass by, there is so much rain that the sound blurs into one long, whirring noise, reminding you of the blades of the fan that you stuck your finger in, that one time when you were left alone in your house when you were only five years of age. Eventually, they fade into a musical chime as you push your drenched hair away from your face and feel the vibration from your phone as it rings the ninth, maybe tenth time. 

He told me so. 

Tall apartment complex building; you couldn’t see its end from where you stand. You shiver as you approach it, the doorman - bless his heart - running and placing his umbrella to futilely shield you from the rain, and you just laugh and tell him that you’re already drenched and just waiting to go back home.

God forbid he realizes how much of train wreck I am

Not wanting to dampen the people at the elevator and make them uncomfortable, you take the stairs up to your shared apartment, you usually don't mind the exercise but with how heavy you feel after the rain and day spent up on your sore feet, all you think about is locking yourself in your room and discover what kind of new façade could you try and fool Katsuki with when he reaches home.

Just how I trick him into thinking I’m not with him to leech off of him

Eventually and with a struggle, you make it to the door, dreading the sight you might come to face, almost hoping for a black hole to emerge and swallow you whole.

What would people say about me? Do people think I’m crazy?

With a forced exhale out of your lungs, you fetch the key from your bag to unlock the door, but it’s wrenched open before you have a chance to insert your key.

“Where the hell have you been?” 

Your eyes meet the beautiful rubies of Katsuki, and despite his anger that always overcompensates his worry, you smile and throw yourself on him. The shivering ceasing when he wraps his warm arms around you and that loving caramel scent engulfs you, in spite of how your hair is drenching his shirt and how you sniff against his neck.

“You need a shower, you’re shivering.”

“Take one with me?” you look up at him through your lashes, and he blinks at your uncharacterized boldness but agrees nonetheless, helping you out of your clothes and turning on the hot water before stepping in with you.

It is a struggle to help you clean up when all you do is grab at him, whether they’re your hands on his shoulders to lower him to kiss you, wrapping your arms around him and pressing your breasts against him, or palming his hardening cock as the poor man tries to shampoo your hair.

“Would ya knock it off? I’m tryna help you here shitty woman” you frown and squint your eyes when the shampoo gets close to them. “I wanna have sex.” 

“Yea I can fuckin tell, just lemme-” you bring his arms down and press his palms to your boobs, letting go of his wrist when he starts squeezing at them. “Do you not want to?” he gulps, his dick twitching at the feeling of your soft mounds in his hands, your nipples covered up by the suds from the shampoo, as your finger traces the underside of his cock. “Yeah, I uh, fuck, I do, just- you need to wash up so you don’t get sick, alright?”

“Do you not think I’m pretty anymore?” you pout childishly, tears threatening to escape your eyes, and they burn as you close them when he washes the product out of your hair, a deep frown on his lips when you open your eyes back again. “The fuck you on about? That rain really fucked with ya?”

“Are you gonna get rid of me when you realize how much of a mess I am?” you whisper, your voice muffled under the sound of the shower above you, and you keep quiet as he helps you scrub your body, but your boyfriend is observant, he isn’t fucking dense.

“What do you want, right now?” he lowers himself to your level when he’s done, his hands stroking your cheeks as he eyes the way the water droplets cling to your lashes, but still not missing the red rimming around your eyes.

“I just wanna for- I uh, I wanna have sex.” you mumble, a plea hidden underneath your words, a plea to help you forget, to help you bury this day behind you and pretend it never happened.

What you don’t expect is the way that Katsuki pulls your naked wet body out of the bathroom and drops you on the bed, feeling your bodies dampening the bed as he hovers over you, no words are spoken between you as he kisses and nips at your skin. Marking it up and down as he all but worships your body, strands of his hair tangle between your fingers when you run your hands through it, arching your back at the feeling of his tongue tasting your slick.

He doesn’t let up until you cry out, and not in pleasure, your sobs far beyond those he loves to hear when he’s denying you an orgasm. No, they’re sobs that wreck your whole body, kicking away at his shoulders as you curl in on yourself and wail into the sheets. Sitting on his haunches on the floor, Katsuki’s eye soften at your figure, the way your shoulders are shaking and how -yet again- you’re trying to muffle your cries with the sheets this time, pressing your face against the mattress in an attempt to lower your noise, as your mother would call it.

“Hey, look at me” you feel his lips grazing your ear as he kisses it, pressing his lips against your temple, fingers unwrapping your fist against the sheet and digging into your hands and pressing kisses against the nail marks in the palm of your hands. “There she is, there’s my girl.” you hear when you lift your head from the bed, sight blurry from your shed tears but still easy to distinguish Katsuki even between billions of people.

You sniff when he kisses at your lids, groan when he chuckles and calls you ‘snot the naught’ when you wipe your nose with the back of your hand, beaming when he hears you let out one weak chuckle at the way he teases you. Still pressing his lips against any surface of skin he can reach.

“You don’t have to talk about it you know, to me at least” he mumbles to you when you’re both dressed in your sleepwear and are cuddling on the dry side of the bed, opting to change the sheet the next day. “Maybe, maybe we can get someone who can help you, you know.” you press your face deeper between his neck and shoulder, shuddering when his warm palms rub your back from under your shirt. 

“I can make some calls, get in contact with someone.” you lift your head. “But I can’t afford-” he tuts and frowns at you “None of that.” 

“Remember what I said when we agreed to move in?” you do, you just love the sound of his voice when he says it, feels like he’s making all these promises all over again. “Tell me.”

“Told ya I’d be whoever you want me to be, whoever you need me to be. I’ll be yer mom, even better than that bitch, I’ll support and love you unconditionally.” you sniff and tighten your hold against him as he presses his lips against your cheek. 

“I’d be better than yer pussy dad, you can rely on me any time and I’ll live up to all your expectations. And callin me daddy is always a plus” he tangles his legs with your own when you wiggle away from him, laughing and giving you no chance of escape, not that you are even thinking of it. 

“I’d even be yer genius fuckin nanny that taught you to tell yer mom to go fuck herself when you were four,” your suppressed giggles lights him up and he can’t help but chuckle as well. “I’ll be anything and everything you’ll ever need, baby. I’ll be your goddamn hero.”

The sun comes out again, casting slanted beams of light across the buildings. Steam rises slowly from the greenery. It rises up eerily and drifts mist-like towards the molten-gold sun, right before it escapes into the abyss. The image is so vivid that it stays with you for as long as you remember. Because on this exact day, the shrieking that follows you everywhere you go, haunting you and mocking you, suddenly is nowhere to be found. And all you can hear is the comforting sound of Katsuki as he hums you a lullaby to sleep.

aaaah I hope you like it!