#i relate so hard it hurts

[kaleb-is-definitely-sane]

Moodboard: Sappho of Lesbos

"Eros, again now, the loosener of limbs troubles me, Bittersweet, sly, uncontrollable creature..."

"That man seems to me to be equal to the gods who is sitting opposite you and hears you nearby speaking sweetly and laughing delightfully, which indeed makes my heart flutter in my breast; for when I look at you even for a short time, it is no longer possible for me to speak but it is as if my tongue is broken and immediately a subtle fire has run over my skin, I cannot see anything with my eyes, and my ears are buzzing a cold sweat comes over me, trembling seizes me all over, I am paler than grass, and I seem nearly to have died.

-Sappho Fragment 31

Tags: @writingwitch007 @just-another-godless-god @remen-nyoodles

[heartsfromdoll]

FUCK I'M CRYINGGG

❝ And I'll be right here when

wake up, Right by your side❞

Body half hurt from laying on your left side for too long. Track of time forgotten. 1:31 am. Have to wake up at 7:30 am. Sit at the same boring study table, zoning out and getting up after 2 hours of just staring at the books, not memorizing a single word.

All day spent inside these four walls. Only time you leave is when you have practice exams at your tuition classes. As soon as you step foot inside the class, you wanna go home. Sitting for the exam, you start missing your boring study desk.

Drops of tears on the dry and empty exam papers. Pulling out your mask and putting it on so no one sees you crying.

I wanna go home.

2:15 am.

Still no sign of sleep. Just blurry vision as tears after tears swell up and fall down on either side as you lay flat on your back on your empty bed.

When did it get this lonely?

Mindlessly scrolling through pictures on the internet. Viewing people's story. 10+ unanswered dms. That one friend telling you all about the exciting things happening to her.

“I'm getting a haircut today. Ooh! And also a new haircut. *inserts picture* It's going to be like this. I'm so excited!”

“Going to have picnic with co-workers! My job is the best.”

"DID I TELL YOU I'M GOING TO BE WORKING AS AN ASSISTANT FOR A CELEBRITY MODEL?”

“I'm SO excited! I'm going to see the movie today!!”

Ah yes, the new movie. You were excited too. So happy that you were looking forward to see it forgetting all about the upcoming long exams.

- That's great

[Sent]

Replying to texts when you don't even want to open them. Just so you don't seem rude a few extra words and some emojies.

The door to the room creaks open. He slowly walks in. Careful not to wake you up.

Wake who up? You weren't even asleep.

He slowly got in bed beside you. Hugging your waist and pulling you closer. You try your best not to make a sound and cry silently.

But the heavy rise and fall of your chest and he knew you weren't as peacefully asleep as he hoped you would be.

“Why are you still awake?”

No response.

“It's almost 3 am. I know you're awake. Why aren't you-

You sit up on the bed.

“I don't want to sleep.”

Wet cheeks getting more wet from the new flowing tears. All everyone ever tells you these days is to eat, sleep, take breaks and study. You're tired of it. You're tired of everyone and everything. Exams aren't helping, no one is helping. Loss of confidence, feelings of loneliness. Seeing others your age going out and having fun. Doing the latest trends. Earning money. Even one of your classmates went to see the new movie despite the upcoming exams. She went with her sister. Your sister lives miles away from you. You didn't tell Nanami because he's an actual busy man unlike you, who sits on the same dull spot everyday and just zones out.

I can't do this anymore.

“Love, are you al-”

“I don't wanna talk about this.”

Voice broken from crying. You try your best to talk and suppress the ache in your throat.

“Let's just go to bed”

He grabs your hand and turns your face towards him. Puffy red eyes and disheveled hair. You looked more tired than him.

“Did you take a nap after eating?”

You cry out more shaking your head.

“You woke up so early and then gave a 2 hour exam. You didn't rest after coming home?”

You didn't look at him. Just soft sniffles and tears.

He pushes your head gently towards his chest and holds you. Your soft cries was the only thing he heard in the dimly lit room. Rubbing your back with one hand and running his other one through your hair.

“Tell me.”

You cry harder burying your head in his chest.

“I'm here to listen.”

Your cries slowly soothe down.

“I'm sorry,” he says. “You've been feeling lonely haven't you?” You don't reply. Just your head on his chest, hugging him tightly. “I've been so busy, I didn't realize I was neglecting you. I'm sorry, I'll make it up to you-”

“It's not you!”

You finally meet his eyes with your red ones. Of course it's not him. It never was him. In fact, he's the only one helping you go through all this despite being stressed himself. You sometimes felt guilty for always being this needy for him. For always wanting him by your side. For always just... wanting him.

“It's everything and everyone around me. I just can't do this anymore. People my age are out there having fun and actually doing things, while I'm here all day everyday sitting in the same spot studying for meaningless exams which are draining me mentally and physically.”

Nanami listens to you intently as he always does. Gentle rubs on your back.

“I'm happy for my friends. I really am. It's just... I'm not feeling very happy at the moment so..”

You felt terrible for feeling that way. Feeling jealous of your friends who were having fun and doing things you looked forward to doing. You know it's not their fault but you can't control your feelings either.

“I feel like a cold hearted person."

More tears.

You said nothing and just laid down curling up, facing the other way. Wishing the tears would just stop.

A strong hand curling up around your waist pulls you closer to him. Gently caressing your hair and hugging you tightly.

Nanami knows your 'leave me alones' mean 'don't leave, stay.' He knows when you push him away, you want him to pull you closer. He knows when you don't 'want to talk about it' you actually want to say a lot about it.

“Sometimes.” his deep soothing voice which you find so comforting, so close against your ears . Hands still caressing through your hair. “Not feeling happy is okay.”

-

“Being envious of others doesn't make you a bad person. Everyone is always envious of someone. The people you see on the internet having a good time, they're also envious of someone or something. Doesn't mean they're a bad person. It's just.. natural feelings.”

“You're having a stressful time, and I understand. I understand your feelings. You don't have to push yourself and you are not a bad friend. Sometimes,” his rough big hands feel so soft when he's caressing your hair like this, while you hide away your face in the pillow.

“We just don't want to hear about other people's life, and it's totally okay. Does not mean you wish bad upon them or anything. It just means, you're not in a good mental state at the moment.”

“It does not make you a cold hearted person.”

“It makes you someone who's trying her best to do things right."

You turn around and burry your face in his neck while he holds you tightly.

“I'm just so tired Kento,” you cry into his chest. “I feel like I'm missing out on so much. People promise to make plans with me and then cancel last minute and make it with someone else.”

“You can make plans with me you know. How about we take a break tomorrow and go see that movie-” “I don't want to.”

You break away from his embrace and lay on your side, facing him. Your face. It looked so worn out. Nanami wiped the tears away and caressed your cheek.

“I won't be able to enjoy it plus it's not about just the movie.” “I know.”

He really does know.

Your phone beeped. A new notification.

But before you can reach for the phone, Nanami was quick to get it himself.

[Just finished watching the movie! OH AND I ALSO GOT MY HAIR CUT!! 🤭✨

*photo*

What do you think?]

He sighs.

"Who is it?"

Nanami simply switches off the phone and puts it on the bedside table.

"No one."

Deep down he knew you didn't want to reply to the message either. You thanked him in the back of your mind for not giving you the phone.

"Thank you."

3:45 am

His arms hold you tightly, face buried in your hair while you face the other way. Peacefully asleep in his embrace.

“I love you.”

He kisses your head.

“And I'm proud of you.”

His eyes closing slowly, taking in your scent.

I love you too

“Kento.”

“Hm?”

“Will you be gone when I wake up?”

“No.”

“I'll be right here when you wake up.

Right by your side.”

[Fanart is not mine. I found it on Pinterest. If you know the artist, let me know.] ♡

➛ And yes it is Nanami in the fanart in case you're wondering (⁠づ⁠｡⁠◕⁠‿⁠‿⁠◕⁠｡⁠)⁠づ

[cent-scratchnsniff]

Please don't hurt yourself

[fairylando]

i really do admire how lando tries to not give a fuck (that 'whatever' really saddened me so much) but he actually does, and a lot.

guy doesn't even want anything absurd, he just wants the support of his team for the last fucking 4 races but no... let's just get humiliated for one point on international tv💀.

they're really stretching him thin — and i mean it in a emotional and mental wellbeing way. he is obviously inherently selfless and quite literally does not hold self-esteem, but in the last year we've seen him trying to be more sure of himself and trying to be selfish for once. the moment he does that though, he gets accused of being the spawn of satan. and then the team does everything in the world to make it harder for him.

so i really do admire him, because i literally would PERSONALLY leave the sport after this one season.

he's so much stronger than i am.

[al-luviec]

juvie buddies

[cream-and-tea]

oh pallas and agnes power dynamic you really are SO unbelievably fucked,,,,,

[thelostgirl21]

Okay, I've just gotta say though...

Imagine that you think you've fallen in love with some evil mastermind that only ever pretended to love you to gain power for himself!

Then, shortly after, you hear some sniffling coming from the corner of a room while searching for your family, and randomly find said "evil mastermind" looking like this:

Radovid's main casting requirement: being able to look so small, vulnerable, soft, lost, and hurt, that it'll have some members of the audience yelling "Jaskier, you better fix this right now, you big meanie! Or I'll never forgive you!" at their screen!

Basically,

Me, before season 3: "I don't think I'll ever be able to feel as protective of any character in any TV show ever as I do of Jaskier."

Radovid: "Hold my wine bottle, I've got this!"

Me, after season 3: "I now have this strange urge to throttle that bard if he ever hurts that one again... What the fuck is going on?"

[saphflare]

Personal take on "Chayanne as a Glass Child Interpretation" that no one asked for

===

Apparently people have been using the "Chayanne has glass child syndrome" thing to rag on q!Philza, which I haven't seen, at least not overtly. Or at least not with the purposeful intent of labelling q!Philza completely as a Bad Parent. But I can get why ppl would feel like that is an attack on his character (*stares at DSMP*)

But I also kinda wish some ppl understood that when we interpret the fact that Chayanne is a glass child, it isn't necessarily to blame q!Philza and his parenting.

please

Because anyone that has a singular critical thinking brain cell can see that the man is trying so fucking hard to raise his two children, and that he loves both of them so much. And that is the sad thing isn't it. Because the thing about glass children is that practically always it is not intentional, and the parents never mean to neglect or force their more capable/older children to become so. That it is often just a consequence of the circumstances of their lives together, and it is something that isn't obvious most of the time until it of course becomes an issue. That for all the efforts of the caretaker(s), they sometimes need to focus on one child more because of their needs and that is perfectly understandable, especially if it is health needs. But as a result, there are gaps in the support and needs of the family. And so, other children in the family that are capable of helping just end up doing so because additional aid and care is needed.

And if you especially look at the Death family's circumstances, we can see those circumstances in play. That the island is dangerous compared even to "normal" society, with the government system provides little to no additional care for its residents & their families. If not downright making it basically punishing them because they have children, due to needing to work for additional resources for their kids (cookies, tasks, etc.) And then there are the monsters and external forces trying to kill and torment all of them. Now that is already fucked, but then you consider the fact that Philza has two children, as he is their primary caretaker due to q!Missa's frequent absence. Which not blaming q!Missa, as the family still loves him and like probable lore reasons, but regardless that adds to the circumstances of the family. That q!Philza is the only one, for the majority of the time, responsible for two kids instead of just one for most of the other parents.

Which again, I will say that other residents also help out with taking care of other eggs of their own and all that, I won't deny that. But they can't always know or be able to pinpoint all things that the two children specifically need or be reliable as the island limits their ability to help.

That at the end of the day, Philza in specific is considered the official guardian for Chayanne and Tallulah, and the one that they spend most time with in their development on the island.

That with the constant danger and additional circumstances surrounding them, it is no wonder that Chayanne ended up taking more responsiblity, becoming more mature in the process. That like any other kid that could see their family struggling and also feel it, he wanted to help his dad. And especially at first, when they had Tallulah and it was evident she needed support due to her asthma and health issues (aka internet issues). She needed not just the support of Philza, who was already lacking consistent support of a partner, but also her brother to help out in case. That it might not have been the intention for Chayanne to take on these burdens or have to grow up so fast, but it happened out of necessity.

That it was as a result of everything they have faced on that island, both good and bad, for Chayanne to have turned out the way he has now and before.

And, I want to stress this so fucking much that neither Philza nor Tallulah are responsible for this. No one in this family is completely at fault because for fucks sakes it isn't exactly like they fucking meant for Chayanne to be a parentified child. That yes their circumstances contributed to to the situation, but that is the same as saying the island has given them lemons and they had to just do the best with it. And that in some ways, they are still growing out of their original dynamics, even months now that they have changed so much and literally have been displaced onto a new place. That in this manner specifically, Philza sometimes still falls into the same mentality in believing Tallulah is still the same little girl that he needs to constantly look out for, when she has become so much more and grown to be able to defend herself. Honestly almost, if not, just as well as Chayanne. But I also acknowledge that he has improved quite a bit, and given her much more freedom and autonomy, especially since they all reunited after Purgatory. But he is still getting used to it, and even in these few months, he has learned to give them room to grow a bit.

Also, I don't blame him for sometimes falling back on the old habits considering you know the dangers he is so guarded against are real and most definitely out to get him and his eggs.

The whole thing of people having flaws and making mistakes yada yada ya, they don't know everything they need to do all the time, especially with things changing constantly and all that shit.

And in some ways, I look at Chayanne right now and I see he is more of a glass child healing from their early circumstances. That his family has acknowledged in some way that he had to take on so much more than what a kid should have. And while I don't think they have unpackaged everything, and that it something that will take a lot more time. Not to mention all the new issues that pop up every other fucking day (for void sake, let this family have a goddamn break). But the thing is they are improving. That they are definitely moving towards that direction in which they are looking in retrospect of what they had to deal with and realizing things. And then, they are having conversations about it together.

And look, for all the things you can say about Death Family, they are all trying their best. That yes perhaps their family is dysfunctional due to fact that it is literally IMPOSSIBLE to cultivate a healthy stable and safe environment for them to grow up in. And yes, of course there are interpersonal issues and current trauma that they need to work through because of all the things they experienced on the island, there are issues in every family, small or big that needs to be worked through. But that doesn't negate the fact that they are trying so hard to the best of their abilities because of each other. That it is undeniable that they have sought to improve and grow and become who they are because they love their family, and hold each other closely in their hearts. That they are still people actively trying to discover things about themselves. And it will always be a struggle in their places as the family they are, but they do so out of love for each other.

But yes whole point is, "Chayanne has experiences that can be comparable to that of a glass child" and "q!Philza is a flawed person that is trying his best" and "Death Family is dysfunctional but also loving of each other" are all statements that can exist together.

Death Family isn't perfect and I love them for that <3

[sepiamestus]

It always rubs me the wrong way when people characterize atsushi as too much of a sweetheart. Like he IS a sweetheart but he's also snarky and sarcastic and most importantly he's very very angry. Do not forget this.

[loveydoveylex]

I KNOW I apologized once already but I really can't say it enough I'm SO sorry the raymanposting my blog used to be flooded with has slowed down so much omg 😭🙇‍♂️ I wouldn't have batted an eye a year or two ago because I used to parkour between f/os literally like every week but most of my followers are here for rayman I think... he's napping right now sorry y'all

[the-sonic-crew]

"SAY NO MORE SIR!"

*grabs my leather bag and pulls out a comically long chain of handkerchiefs tied together and a lamp*

"erm one sec it's here somewhere....."

*my hand inside the bag starts glowing and a kitty of light with the gigachad face is in my arms in the simba™ pose*

"alas. Sonic you must bow before the ultimate kitty because you arent ultimate sry chat..😿😞"

"AHA NOW KITH!"

(YAYAYYAAYYAYAYAYYAYAYAYYSAYATAYYAYAYAYAYYAYAYAYAYAYAYYAYAYAYAYAAYATATATTAATATATTTATATTATATAYAYAYYAYAYAYAYAYY)

[shadow's inner monologue at that moment went something like this:

Ugh... the... kitty- NO, MUST RESIST- but... the kitty...- NO, SHADOW. IT'S NOT WORTH IT, YOU'LL DO SOMETHING YOU'LL REGRET WHEN YOU'RE OLDER. PEOPLE WILL COME UP TO YOU IN THE FUTURE, AND YOU WILL HAVE TO TELL THEM THAT YOU AND SONIC AREN'T IN A RELATIONSHIP, AND THEY WON'T STOP BOTHERING YOU. IT'S NOT WORTH IT- but the kitty... it's... all of it... the ultimate kitty.... -that does sound pretty cool but you CAN'T SHADOW. REPULSED, REMEMBER? YOU'LL DO IT AND THEN YOU'LL FEEL THAT ANXIOUS FEELING IN YOUR STOMACH THAT GROWS AND GROWS AND YOU JUST FEEL SO OVERWHELMED AND UNCOMFORTABLE AND OH GOD-]

I... I- I- I-

[Sonic gets up from where he's been bowing, expression morphing from a playful flirt to a worried, faltering grin. His eyes train, briefly, on Shadow's chest; it's started to rise and fall at a quicker pace, faster than he's ever seen it- even during all of their races and petty fights.]

Hey, are- are you feeling alright?

[He steps closer to Shadow, but Shadow's expression only morphs further into something closely resembling horror before masking itself quickly with anger.]

GET AWAY FROM ME. I JUST- I just want- ARGH!

[He backs into a 'corner' of the space, curling into a ball.]

You're all the same. You'll force me to do such a thing... when I...

... I think maybe that was a boundary we shouldn't have crossed. Sorry guys, no kisses for Shadow in the near future. Or, uh, judging by that reaction, probably ever. Sooooooo if you don't mind, I'll justttttttt... yep that cat's ours now OK BYE

[EXPLANATION IN THE TAGS -💀]

[stiffyck]

Sometimes I feel like my headcanons and my favorite tropes are like. The most rare ones. It's a curse.

Where's my touch-averse headcanons... it's always just touch-starvation.

Where's my aro and ace headcanons it's just shipping everywhere.

Suffering here

[cent-scratchnsniff]

progressing through the myth of sisyphus again

[selfinflictedgunshotwound]

men are so disappointing in so many ways i know i shouldn't expect most of them to be dignified humans but it's crazy. i need to get over this guy he's making my sense of self crumble even faster than it usually does. like he's just so unlike my usual type and i'm pretty convinced he's stupid and slutty and not discerning whatsoever. not to mention boring like i know even if i did have a chance with him he wouldn't Get Me at all so it's a bigger waste of time that usual and i'm actually pretty tired of men in general and definitely tired of parasocial relationships because they drive me insane for months typically. thankfully it's only been like 2 weeks if that at this point. idk. sigh. i know literally virtually nothing abt him as a person and ofc liking any public figure who you know nothing about is only setting yourself for heartbreak and disappointment to begin with bc you already know nothing is gonna come from it but. in a way it's almost addictive to become obsessed with someone and not be looked at with the same level of scrutiny. i don't think anyone in real life would ever try to get to know me as much as i try to get to know people who i'll never even meet. lmao! but that's the thing... idk... i have a lot of love in my heart and it consumes me and i reject my pride usually when i'm into someone. i want to know more... like VORACIOUSLY consuming anything with information about them involved simply because i think knowing someone is a very deep form of love but of course you can never truly know anyone. not completely. and that scares me i think which is why it's always probably been easier for me to never really TRY to be with anyone or have anything real. idk. this turned into me psychoanalyzing myself real quick but SOMEONE needs to bc i need to understand what the fuck is wrong w me.

[ikilledamanforthisurl]

really fun parallels between Minami & Nishida in which one guy who wants most of the fights he gets into generally has a bit of a dodgy win/lose ratio, meanwhile the other who has only ever welcomed one single fight in his life is the more violently competent

[shinesurge]

sooo hype to get in the car and drive back across the southern united states again tomorrow