#tangentially related ​i really hate feeling this shit in my body

[shinesurge]

sooo hype to get in the car and drive back across the southern united states again tomorrow

[streetcornertwoam]

think I might be going through a depressive episode AND my birthday is a in a few days...

COINCIDENCE???

[transfemme-shelterdog]

hey i heard you were accepting personal stories from people who have experienced transandrophobia. i have some complicated experiences around my sexuality that intersect with TA while not exactly being TA so i hope it's okay to share those too. im horrible at being concise so my apologies for the essay 🥲

---

i have always known I was multisexual, but around 11-12, i learned that my attraction to everyone was actually queer (i thought it was the default and people just tended to pair up in m/f relationships to have kids. i was very lucky to avoid direct queerphobia as a child and form that viewpoint.) after learning this, i obviously became very invested in learning about my identity and other queer people and the struggles we face, and i immersed myself in the culture. i found the other queer kids in middle school, and spent a lot of time online learning about different identities.

it was wonderful to find people like me! but unfortunately, from the moment i stepped into these queer spaces as (someone who used to be a) woman, i was blasted with "all men are disgusting predators, wlw relationships are morally superior and lesbians are the most oppressed because they deny men access to their body, KAM lol, etc..." like, not even kidding, this shit was EVERYWHERE being blasted at top volume from the rooftops. I internalized it and repeated it because it felt cathartic- at the time i WAS a woman who liked women, so it included me, and felt great- like getting vengeance.

but i was still multisexual. i still liked men. i never really openly talked about my attraction to men- instead i did the usual "haha being bi/pan? attracted to every woman and two men amirite?" thing. but i discovered yaoi/mlm smut and got very into it in a non-cis way, the typical transmasc experience... but i convinced myself my attraction to men was purely sexual, and suppressed my romantic attraction to them. after all, in real life, "men are icky oppressive pigs! im pansexual, but i only feel romantic attraction to women! men are unlovable and only good for porn!"

i ended up dating a woman in high school. everyone assumed we were lesbians. we didn't often correct them. we were both pan, and talked about our attraction to men like cis men talk about women: objectifying them, commenting on their bodies, talking about how they were only good as fucktoys, and how they should learn their place and bottom for women (i was also really into femdom, tangentially related.)

then, i met actual trans people irl and online, and we became friends. they talked about how they felt about their gender and their dysphoria and i listened closely and.... oh no, that's relatable. the cracks in my egg started growing. but the last thing i could ever be was a man- "im a butch who likes queer femmes! not a nasty man who likes gender conforming feminine women!"

my journey out of the closet was severely stunted by the extremely prevalent hatred of men in queer spaces. i tiptoed out at a snails pace, terrified of my truth.

for a few years i said, "okay i can be a cistrans she/they nonbinary woman, and still be a butch that other wlw will feel safe around!"

another year goes by and.... "actually im just agender. i can reject the idea of manhood AND womanhood, im just a person. but but but! im deeefinitely a nonman i promise! you guys don't hate that i want to start testosterone right?" (they did.)

another year went by. "im nonbinary and transmasc but NOT a man, mayyybe a demiboy! i want HRT and top surgery but I would NEEEEVER want a penis! penises are disgusting weapons used to rape and hurt women, and i love women!"

it took me 5 fucking years of my transition to accept my binary manhood (alongside my nonbinary gender) because of this shit. and an additional few years to accept that I actually did want bottom surgery.

alongside that revelation and unpacking of my hatred of men came the realization that im not pansexual. i actually do have a slight sexual and romantic preference towards men, and i just like femmes of every gender. i started labeling myself as a bisexual faggot instead, and a label truly felt like home for the first time.

i also had to unpack the idea that loving women as a man isn't inherently oppressive. seeing representation of m/f love that isn't straight- or straight m/f that defies patriarchal heteronormativity- feels extremely affirming to the way i experience my queer attraction to women. (transmasc heterosexuals wya? i love you guys so much, and I feel so much solidarity with you ❤️)

throughout this entire painful journey towards my true self, so, so many queer women treated me like absolute shit. i had a cis lesbian friend who came onto me, and when i told her i wasn't a woman and wasn't interested, she responded, "what a waste. you make such a hot butch lesbian right now. why would you ruin yourself with T?"

multisexual women would shame me for not jumping into self-flagellation over my attraction to men. when i told them why, and the harm it caused me and how it made me mislabel myself for years, i was told that "it's better that you're bisexual instead of pansexual because you can have a preference for women! that's what we do!" when i told them i actually relabeled because i prefer men, and i am a trans man, i was told i'm not welcome in queer spaces because im "making our lesbian allies feel unsafe."

but then, even after being ostracized and forced out of queer spaces because im an "invader..." nonqueers would also harass and mock me. i get threats of corrective rape from misogynistic men to "fix me," and "turn me back into a normal pretty girl." when i express attraction towards men, they tell me that "i look like a man, and any guy that would fuck me is secretly a fag." when i express attraction towards women, im a "nasty predatory dyke trying to steal them away from men." surprise surprise, they don't actually see me as a woman or a man, but some freakish third thing that corrupts everyone around me.

i don't know how to end this. ever since coming to terms with my manhood, my desire to be masculine, and my love of men, i have been treated worse and worse by nearly everyone. i don't feel like i belong anywhere, both because of my transmasculinity and my bisexuality.

i am so much happier with myself of course, and i feel truly satisfied with my identity now.... but it's been really hard. idk what people are talking about with masculinity always being rewarded. my experiences have been the exact fucking opposite.

.

[harocat]

I recall that the dream arc of tteotm didn’t work that well for you. Was it not being into Mingye and Sangjiu as characters or did you feel it was a deeper structural problem

Ming Ye and Sang Jiu on their own were... mostly fine. Their romance was even pretty cute at first. The arc also had incredible aesthetics, so it had that going for it.

First and foremost, the arc was too long. Battle scenes too lengthy, endless convoluted misunderstandings etc. This is time that could have been dedicated to many other things, including the immortal arc later on.

Secondly, the dubious consent scene with Ming Ye and Sang Jiu. Not only did the show not seem to play it as dubcon, but it was just completely out of character for Sang Jiu. I tried to put this behind me, but it was extremely hard, and tangentially related but I'll always be bugged by the fact that Tantai Jin and Li Susu's' 'first time' together in a sense was when they were in those bodies, being forced to act it out. OFC none of this is Ming Ye or Sang Jiu's fault, but it just made the whole thing more screwed up to me. I wanted it to be brought up, but I knew it never would be. One of the reasons I WANTED them to get a scene where they explicitly consummated their relationship is because I wanted them to have something better than... that. So I am glad the show at least gave me Li Susu and Tantai Jin getting to do that in episode thirty-nine.

(To be clear even if this scene wasn't dubious consent on the part of Sang Jiu, I still would have been kind of upset for TTJ and LSS, but it makes it a lot worse.)

I guess the biggest issue is really that the characters were so stupid. Tian Huan was a pointless character. She had NOTHING to her except her crush on Ming Ye, which led her to do all this fucked up and evil shit. Say what you will about Bingchang (who also drove me nuts lol), but she had more meat to her; motivations and issues deeper than just 'stereotypical jealous bitch.' Every moment with TH on screen was insufferable. In no way was she ever fun to watch or even fun to be angry at. While it's true that villains are sometimes created to be hated, there should be some aspect of strong feeling associated with that that enhances your experience, as opposed to just 'I'm so annoyed I want to stop watching.'

Ming Ye and Sang Jiu constantly made the dumbest decisions, especially Ming Ye. I know xianxia loves the miscommunication plotlines, and obviously there was plenty of that between Li Susu and Tantai Jin, but as frustrating as theirs was, it was at least understandable why it would happen. These two just had a multiple choice selection and chose the worst one every time. Ming Ye was the worst about this, and I understand that this was new to him (and 'this was my first time being a husband' was a lovely line btw), but it was still so maddening to watch. Instead of being sad for them, often I was just mad.

There were some great moments. Evil Sang Jiu was hot. The scenes in the forest when Ming Ye was recovering were beautiful and legitimately touching. Sang You is my boyfriend, and he is also gender. I LOVE that she actually got to take out TH, and I love when she stepped forward and said 'this is not a transaction.' That was SO good. That being said, even close to the end, after TH was dead, I felt like their ill fate was entirely preventable. That this all took place with the background being a potentially apocalyptic war going on did not help, because it did make it all feel very banal.

But as maybe a three or even four episode arc, I think it could have worked much better.

I also didn't think it played well into the final arc in a satisfying way. TTJ repeating Ming Ye's fate was awful to see. He's even stuck in the scale! Sang Jiu had no play in the last arc at all, even though she easily could have with the world overturning jade. It felt really unfair to her, but it does track with how LSS was treated. My honest opinion is that if the dream arc was utilized well in the final episodes, it would have given multiple routes to a very logical, well foreshadowed ending storyline (with yes, an HEA). I would have forgiven a lot from it if it ended up being a set up for some really excellent story beats in the final five episodes. But it just wasn't.

[bigskydreaming]

There’s just...there’s just so much I need to know!

Are all the Academy X kids back? DJ? Kidogo? Loa? Wallflower? Blindfold? OMG IS TAG BACK, SHOW ME JULIAN REUNITING WITH HIS BFF, DEAD FOR YEARS AND NOW BROUGHT BACK TO LIFE.

There’s just...imagine, an entire class of mutant teenagers who were all tragically killed and now are resurrected into this new world that’s so different from the one they last saw, like everything’s changed in the blink of an eye. What’s that even LIKE? How do they feel about owing their return and resurrection to one of their own former classmates, who’s now part of this group of five mutants revered on Krakoa with idol-like status as the ones who like...defeated death for the mutant race? How do all the kids who died on M-Day like Hydro, never even having time to know what happened, feel about learning about the Decimation and why they died in the first place? How do the kids who died on the bus like DJ feel, trying to reconnect with their classmates like Julian and Cessily and Santos who have been through SO MUCH since they last saw them, literally lived through wars and the threat of extinction and are so changed now by experiences they can’t ever (hopefully won’t ever) be able to relate to?

Is Jay Guthrie back? What’s it like for Sam and Paige and the rest of their siblings to suddenly have him back? What does Sooraya feel about this? How do she and Jay interact now? How does the every mutant is automatically a citizen of Krakoa thing work....all the Guthrie kids are mutants, but their mom Lucinda isn’t...is she allowed to come and go, according to Krakoa law? There must be exceptions made for some humans to live on Krakoa, surely, given that Corsair is part of one of the Dawn of X line-ups....who makes the distinction and how?

Speaking of the Summers, what’s up with Gabe’s resurrection? How does that work? Does he remember everything, and his past crimes are forgiven on the basis of the amnesty law, so long as he plays nice? Or did Xavier take advantage of being the man who puts all the mutant minds back in their shiny new bodies and conveniently rearrange a few memories regarding why Gabe hates him so much, and now Gabe gets along with everyone just fine?

OMG ARE PETRA AND SWAY BACK AND IF NOT WHY NOT.

What about Kevin Ford aka Wither? Selene was one of the mutant villains granted amnesty when she came to Krakoa, does that mean her former pawns are granted the same resurrection treatment as any other mutant, and if so, how does Kevin feel about being resurrected by Josh....the very person who killed him in the first place?

Oooh, and Clarice....not to mention Jono. What’s it like for some of the more heroic descendants of Clan Akkaba to now be living on the same island as their long distant villainous ancestor, Apocalypse himself?

Speaking of Apocalypse, anyone else catch that bit of gossip from Bar Sinister about how gladly Apocalypse would trade in any of his later Horsemen for his original four....with Hickman having made a big deal about alluding to some long ago war Apocalypse and his original Horsemen waged on Krakoa against some other dimensional foes.....with those Horsemen dying or imprisoning themselves to stop them? Who wants to bet that was to set up a storyline where like, maybe part of Apocalypse’s conditions for working with Xavier and Magneto on all of this was to have his original Horsemen resurrected as well somehow? Like SOMETHING’S going to happen there.

Oooh ooh ooh......what about the fact that ALL OF LOGAN’S 13378427842 dead mutant children are now potentially alive again? CLAN SNIKT? ADRIAN CORBO? WON’T SOMEBODY PLEASE THINK OF JIMMY?

And and and and and they better fucking bring back Chris Bradley and I will literally pledge my firstborn if somebody writes in a scene where Bobby Drake gets to see his little buddy alive and well again, sans Legacy Virus. Look, it doesn’t matter that I’m probably never going to have a firstborn, its the thought that counts, shh, its allowed.

What about Magneto’s original Acolytes, the ones who died when Asteroid M crashed? Chrome, Delgado and Anne-Marie, etc? What might their reactions be upon say, running into Traitor McBetrayal, Fabian Cortez?

IS SIENA BLAZE BACK OMG PLZ LET SIENA BE BACK I WILL....crap, already pledged my firstborn. Ugh, second is the best?

SPEAKING OF....I forget what launched this tangential thought but Mikhail Rasputin anyone? HIS BABY SISTER IS ONE OF THE FOUR WAR CAPTAINS OF KRAKOA, LIKE...TALK ABOUT *SCREEECH* WAIT, SAY WHAT? REVELATIONS TO WAKE UP TO.

Just how long are they gonna tease the whole ‘no but really there’s ANOTHER Summers brother’ plotline this time?

OMG are Emplate, the M twins and Monet all supposed to play happy family in a shared environment, holy shit could you imagine the epic staredowns everytime Marius and Monet run into each other in like Krakoa’s town square or the market or something and Jubilee just stage whispers “Awkwaaaaard.”

Holy shit, how are Ev and Angelo going to react to coming back to life and discovering that Jubes is now a MOM???

What about depowered mutants we haven’t seen get their powers back yet, are they all repowered now thanks to Hope? Is Dallas Gibson on Krakoa, shadow powers intact? What about Shola and Freakshow and Wicked, aka the only interesting characters Claremont has invented in 30 years, no, Lifeguard and Slipstream DO NOT COUNT.

WHAT DOES ALL OF THIS HAVE TO DO WITH THE RETURN OF THE 2099 UNIVERSE IN A COUPLE MONTHS, LIKE HOW ARE THE X-MEN 2099 and X-NATION GONNA LINE UP WITH ALL OF THIS?

And will we get Twilight and Clarion and December back, and finally some kind of answer on whether December is a descendant of Bobby or Emma or both?

Is Leon Nunez, the REAL mutant behind Ink’s powers, a resident of Krakoa because the amnesty law got him out of jail and did he take the power back from that LOSER and did Ink get his stupid ass kicked to the curb because everyone was like lol nobody even likes you and you’re not even a mutant, go be an Avenger ITS WHERE YOU BELONG?

Probably not, but look a guy can dream.

What’s St. John gonna think about this new twink running around using his name, HE’S the only real flamer in town! Or is he just not gonna care, and retire to spend his time resuming his career as a romance novelist? (THIS IS CANON, I DID NOT MAKE THIS UP).

Most importantly, WHAT THE HELL IS THE PREMISE OF THE MARAUDERS BOOK AND WILL I LIKE IT AND WILL BOBBY BE WRITTEN WELL AND SINCE IT HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH THE HELLFIRE CLUB AND EMMA’S A KEY PART OF THE BOOK WILL WE GET CHRISTIAN THERE TOO AND WITH SIMON AS PART OF THE MARAUDERS LINEUP WILL I FINALLY GET THE CHRISTIAN/BOBBY/FIRE-GUY-EVEN-IF-SIMON-IS-A-SUBPAR-SUBSTITUTE-FOR-JOHNNY LOVE TRIANGLE I NEED AND DESERVE?

OMG and Daken’s on Krakoa too, oh shit, is Bobby gonna finally get to be the hot girl? So many gays, so little time...whoops, Bobby can make clones of himself too.....oh shit did I make it weird, WHO CARES, BOBBY HAS POTENTIAL LOVE INTERESTS NOW, PLURAL, NOT SINGULAR, HUZZAAAAAAAAH.

And also all the other stuff is still interesting too. But like. Bobby boyfriend. Make it happen.

[naylar-draws]

She Giggled: Meta-textual Shit About That Time Merlin Flirted With an Underage Girl

So anyways, y’all know that scene? The one people really hate where Merlin flirts with Claire? When I first saw that scene, it made me really uncomfortable, and I had a hard time pinning down why. So I was thinking about that instead of sleeping and now I’m writing this instead of sleeping.

Disclaimer: This isn’t Merlin hate discourse or some shit. I know there’s been discourse about the hate train and this whole rant/analysis has nothing to do with it. I do my best to stay out of fandom discourse and I ain’t gonna ruin my streak because of a crusty old animated dude. If you’re looking for hate, it ain’t here. If you’re looking for analysis on a particular scene in the context of Trollhunters being a fictional text created by real people, then welcome friend. I also know this is an art blog, but I have other hobbies too dammit.

Anywho here’s my humble opinion/analysis on the scene and why it failed: (roughly 1300 word rant/analysis under the cut)

Objectively, it’s gross: an old man flirting with an underaged girl, referring to her as a “lovely creature”, touching her in a non-platonic way etc. these are behaviors that, in real life, shouldn’t be acceptable. These are behaviors that I can say from personal experience are not pleasant to be on the receiving end of. These are also behaviors that women experience regularly and are often told that they have to put up with. Stay with me I’m going more in depth.

So why is the scene within the show unbearable? I’d say because of the in-text reaction to it. (Now I don’t have Netflix this month so I’m going from memory and can’t pull up screenshots bear with me) The response that draws the most attention is Claire’s giggle. She giggles in response. She appears shy at first, Merlin walks up to her and gently lifts her chin, and her response is positive.

Now, one could assume that she was laughing out of nervousness. I could relate to that. The times when I was underage and being hit on by significantly older men, my first reaction was to giggle or chuckle politely, do nothing to upset them, and then extricate myself from the situation however I could. However that’s irl and my being uncomfortable existed with or without any external observation. Trollhunters is a fictional text whose job is to communicate everything it wants to to the viewer. Anything it does not communicate does not tangentially exist. That means that if the creative team indeed intended to have Claire’s giggle be one of discomfort, it would be their job to communicate it to the viewer via cinematography, her body language, dialogue, or an extra scene where she discloses her feelings on Merlin’s actions, that she did feel uncomfortable. All it would take would be a nervous side glance and a brief close-up shot of her face or something of the like. However, the scene only displays her reaction as a surface level giggle, which portrays a positive reaction.

The other reactions in the scene are Jim, Toby, Aaarrrgghh, and Blinky’s. The issue here is that they don’t react. None of the characters bat their eyes at this. Now there’s that screenshot that I’ve seen going around where Blinky is looking at Merlin with indignation while the wizard is ugh caressing her chin. The point being made, partially in jest, is that Blinky’s angry about it just like the viewer. But that screenshot is actually slightly out of context. During that part, Blinky was reacting to something Merlin had said that was entirely unrelated to the inappropriate behavior. Someone could say that maybe the Trolls don’t know about such human customs and that’s why they didn’t bat an eye, and Toby and Jim are uncomfortable but don’t feel like they’re able to speak up or some manner of such. But, again, nothing in the text shows or says this. Again, all it would take would be a shot of a nervous glance. If you assume that one of the characters did indeed feel discomfort, then feel free to assume it, idc. But at that point it’s a headcanon. And headcanons, while they can make canon more fun, are by no means a way of dismissing canon of the roles it failed to fulfill, or absolving it of issues with its content.

Okay, but maybe someone would say that you don’t need characters to tell the viewer what’s right or wrong. Obviously, the scene was meant to show Merlin as the unsavory sort and somehow also comment on society’s intentional obliviousness to the lighter forms of sexual harassment. To which I would respond by saying that if that were the case, then the creative team would have to communicate that message if not by the characters, then by the cinematography. For instance, a change in shot composition, lighting, camera movement, or by the sound design or the background music. To which that scene has none of that. It is something that happens and then is immediately forgotten about, no significance whatsoever is added to the part where Merlin flirts with an underage girl in the context of the episode or overall show.

If the creative team intended to comment on Merlin’s specific actions of flirting with Claire, then they failed, and it did not make it into the finished product.

People might also say that it’s fine because Merlin, a fictional character created by a group of people, is from the middle ages, and during that time Claire would have been considered an adult. This is an argument I have multiple problems with that I will not get into, but first of all, the show does not communicate this. If they really wanted to address the social changes Merlin has to adapt to, the creative team would have had Toby and Jim onscreen explain to Merlin that 18 is now the age of adulthood, slavery is no longer okay, and equal rights are a thing. Also on a storytelling level, they would need a way to juxtapose Merlin’s way of thinking with another character’s or by cinematography to show that the characters who grew up in modern times don’t think underage flirting is okay like he does. Which I’ve already established did not happen.

So at the end of the day, what does Trollhunters have to say about Merlin, an old man, flirting with an underage girl and, urk, gently lifting her chin like a goddamned creep if in its text all it has is non-reactions, no commentary, and a single positive reaction? Well, perhaps not an endorsement of, but most certainly an unintentional normalization of such an action.

And you know what, who cares? Right? Its just a random kids show. Why did I write all this down? Well, partially because I’m a film buff who over-analyzes fictional texts on my free time. But also because this is just a minor example of how fiction reflects even the less than savory aspects of our society. The creative team of Trollhunters probably didn’t see an issue with Merlin flirting with an underage girl, or if they did, it wasn’t a large enough one that is was removed from the finished product. And also, because this is a very good example of the greater issues of the show. Specifically why Merlin breeds so much hate: because the text of the show does not do enough to comment on his moral ambiguity (he is framed as a morally gray good guy who “looks at the bigger picture”, but not all of his eh, less than savory actions are addressed and it leaves viewer feeling as though some of those behaviors are then seen as normal which can leave a really icky feeling [see the Philadelphia Story to get more of those nasty feelings]). Also the fact that while the show is not overtly sexist, it is most definitely filtered through a, eh hum, slightly uninformed male gaze. Only uninformed males (and maybe some females with internalized sexism) would assume that an underage girl would have a positive reaction to an old man calling her a “lovely creature” and gently lifting her chin and leaning over her so the old man is effectively looming over her and ugh why did it have to be like that. (If people are interested I’ll do an analysis on Trollhunters and gender ‘cause boy do I have things to say about gender and sexual dimorphism in this show)

PS to anyone who says that the creators are just waiting to address these issues in Wizards, no film maker worth their salt would intentionally do that, what the heck? who wants to deliberately make a children’s show and add an underage flirting scene and then just leave it unaddressed for years like jesus mcfeezus I would worry about more than their capabilities as a showrunner

[clarenecessities]

Queerquiggle/Cybunnypoop

Subtitle: This Again

It’s been around two years since the shit hit the proverbial fan, but seeing as the individual in question has since deleted & remade, some of you may not be aware of whom you’re interacting with.

Queerquiggle & queerneopets are the latest installments in a series of urls belonging to one person, hereafter referred to as the original url, cybunnypoop. Other former urls for his neoblog include (but are not limited to): gaygelatin, shewhoneopetswiththee, neobloq, and candypaintbrush.

I should tell you all off the bat that he’s a Trump supporter, a “recovering” transphobe, and extremely Islamophobic, so this post may contain some upsetting information. There are some instances of misogyny, antisemitism, homophobia, and racism, as well. Oh, and ableism. Honestly, pick an -ism.

None of the information in this post should be a repeat of my first post regarding the matter. Warning: this post is even longer.

As before, I’d be remiss if I didn’t lay out my bias: I don’t like him. He’s been downgraded from “nemesis” to “nuisance,” as he’s no longer harassing minors (as far as I’m aware), but we’re never going to be best buddies.

We’ve spoken several times, though never to any resolution, and with each interaction it became increasingly obvious that it was futile. I ultimately blocked him following repeated propositioning and an unwillingness to engage beyond casting any disagreement as bullying and telling the kids to go back to their safe spaces.

Cybunnypoop is now 25 years old, and he hasn’t started anything major in a while. His posts remain fairly unpopular, though whether that’s the result of the quarantine or simple bad content, I couldn’t say. You’re under no obligation to take my word for any of this. Though I’ve provided links and screenshots where I can, what you make of that evidence is up to you.

TRANSPHOBIA

As it so happens, Cybunnypoop has recently tried listening to another human being, and has been educated about trans issues in a way that ~100 people on the internet offering resources apparently couldn’t accomplish.

What this means is that Cybunnypoop is now IDing with various names (itself nothing new, pseudonyms are an old hat here), gender identities, and pronouns, depending on the platform. I’m sticking with he/him for this post, as those were the last requested on his neopets blog. His description says shey/shem but unfortunately I have no idea how current that is, and his about says “whatever”–so if I’m misgendering here, I apologize; it is not intentional.

I, Clare, Author of This Post, am cis. So it’s not my place to gatekeep or say whether or not he’s ““really trans””. And, as he has expressly admitted to being transphobic in the past, none of this section is really up for debate. I’m just going to provide the information, including his apologies and the redaction thereof. I don’t know that he truly understands everything he did wrong, but he’s explicitly stated he thinks transphobia is bad, so hey, maybe we can all learn something.

I’m gonna try to keep this chronological, so here we go:

A fun little addition to a post via an anonymous terf, “You are still males, you have male privilege, you KNOW NOTHING & NEEVER [sic] WILL KNOW of our goddamn struggles.“ which Cybunnypoop began with “So much agree!”

When asked about the “trans bathroom debacle,” he stated he was, “just afraid it’ll result in sacrificing handicap-accesible bathrooms.” which is only tangentially transphobic but bears addressing: Why would it ever mean that?

Cybunnypoop has something of a preoccupation with the potential negative impact equity would have upon him, and ableism is a convenient vehicle for this–lord knows this country is appalling in terms of accessibility. However, no proposed version of “trans bathroom”s leads to the dissolution of ADA-compliant spaces. Whether it’s allowing trans people to use the bathroom they identify with, or installing/redesignating gender neutral spaces, it remains an issue of improved accessibility, not diminished. A disabled trans person has as much a right to use a bathroom as an able-bodied one.

When he graduated he was questioned on his political beliefs, specifically how he could support Trump and remaining uneducated about trans issues while claiming to be an LGBT ally–and congratulated on graduating. Rather than answering the questions, or thanking them for the congrats and ignoring the rest, Cybunnypoop declared it “harassment”. This is about the standard for what he deems harassment/bullying: Anything that disagrees with him.

Reposted a quote from Dixon Diaz, the alt right guy you may remember him quoting in several citations from my last post, which read, “Liberal: a person who tells you that you’re a bigot if you’re afraid of having weird men in the ladies room, but becomes traumatized if they see “Trump 2016” written in chalk.“ [sic]

trans people bad, diversity bad, children bad & trauma fake

An ongoing problem with fetishizing trans people, dating back long before his identification as trans, and indeed, during the period in which he was a self-avowed transphobe. (Warning: link contains slur!)

This grew more pronounced as he came to understand what it means to be trans, and zeroed in on transwomen in particular. This is itself a complex issue: When is a kink flattering and when is it dehumanizing? Are immutable adjectives inappropriate to fetishize, or is it positive representation?

Again, as a cis person, it isn’t my place to say–I’m just letting y’all know what he’s said, and you can determine how you feel about it. This post isn’t a thinkpiece on my opinions.

Select quotes from The Apology:

“I was transphobic. I was resistant to that term because I felt it was a misnomer. I was more…trans-ignorant, I felt, than “transphobic.” […] I couldn’t see what I was doing because I was too busy, I felt, being attacked.”

“I had a warped view of trans people, and I was too ignorant and stubborn to acknowledge it–to see it, even.”

“[…] it’s hard not to let a jerk taint your view of a minority, especially when that jerk was your introduction to the minority.“

I’ll be honest, my problem with this apology is in how it’s structured, not in its content. It seems to convey genuine remorse, but focuses the bulk of the message on excuses, including that last point, which… isn’t relatable.

Even this I could forgive (after all, he’s new to apologies) if it had heralded a change in attitude–but nothing changed. He continued on as before, and continued to refuse discussions of other issues (which we’re getting to soon).

Which brings us to The Second Apology:

Posted some day and a half after the first, it opens with the artfully passive aggressive line, “I thought this could be over but it’s obviously going to stick around.” And it’s all downhill from there, folks!

“What do you want? What more can I say? There isn’t anything left to say. Nothing will satisfy some people.”

“I never bullied anyone like some do to me.“

“If you don’t want to believe I am different,[…] then the problem is not mine. In these cases, it is a good idea for you to stop talking about me and lying about me“

Here is a glimpse, perhaps, into what he expected. He was waiting for accolades. Commendation. He’d just apologized–and unlike earlier attempts, it was genuine! I don’t know that he anticipated forgiveness, but the outright rejection of that apology by several individuals drove him almost immediately into a bitter tirade, once again foisting the blame onto the people he had hurt or offended.

Aaaand a redaction of former apologies. Unfortunately there doesn’t seem to be a date on this one, so it may be referring to the older apologies, but its content bears addressing:

“Yeah, I apologised like a year ago […], and they refused it, so I’m done apologizing–not that I even have anything to apologise for.

“I’ll sooner die than acknowledge and apologise for their demented reconstructions of my words.“

Which, if this is about the older apologies–oops!

“I won’t deny I said some things that people found offensive, […] but they just took everything and ran apedoodie with it. It amazes me that, for all they claim to hate me, they have this obsession with everything I do and say.”

This is actually fairly emblematic of my own interactions with Cybunnypoop: Specifically, the characterization of all attention as both positive, and obsessive.

What is it about being held responsible for his actions that leads him to cry wolf? Historically, an unwillingness to debate his political beliefs. Oh, he’ll espouse Trump’s “virtues” for paragraphs and paragraphs, but anyone who criticizes him is obviously a liberal idiot who just loves to hate him, and I’ll bet they say “lame,” right? It’s these assumptions about other people that lead him so often to tilt at windmills, rather than addressing the subject at hand.

RACISM

“Obama spending $21 million to put refugees to work…why not spend that money in the inner cities to put young blacks to work… once again Obama and the Democrats have proved the black community is their who’re [sic] because we always come back to them after they screw us” a quote he posted from a Facebook page I won’t even name, because it’s literally got the N-word in it! But he’s definitely not a racist, right?

Obama being (literally) booted out of office, by a Confederate battle flag, symbol of white supremacy since the 1960s. (There’s been some suggestion it’s in the classic minstrel show style. Though he forwent the traditional depiction of red/pink lips in favor of purple, there remains the possibility that he just can’t draw caricatures).

I’m going to address this post more in the ableism section, but it’s worth noticing how often, and how readily, he uses the word c*lored unprompted. This is not the first occasion.

More lambasting of whitewashing as a concept, sarcastically proposing we paint a black person white and mutilate them to better portray Michael Jackson (whom he refers to as ‘Wacko Jacko’, an ableist and derogatory nickname) apparently under the impression that there are no other black men with vitiligo.

I think it’s important to cover this, as from Cybunnypoop’s posts suggesting we be outraged at the “yellow-washing” of Joan Watson (see my previous post) it’s clear that he has no idea what whitewashing means.

It is not literally painting POC white.

The term whitewashing is derived from cheap white paint of chalked lime, used for a long time to refer to a specific means of censorship, “to gloss over or cover up vices, crimes or scandals or to exonerate by means of a perfunctory investigation or through biased presentation of data”. Simply put, it’s revisionist history, and the methods used to maintain that illusory timeline.

It isn’t difficult to see how the term came to be applied to the representative censorship in Hollywood.

Shared a Facebook graphic, “Black people who were never slaves are fighting white people who were never Nazis over a confederate statue erected by democrats, and why, because democrats can’t stand their own history anymore and somehow it’s Trumps Fault? [sic]“

“Also, you see Blacks everywhere, but they’re still considered a minority.” (He appended some context but frankly it’s even more damning.)

The term “spirit animal” is annoying but not because it’s racist, I guess

ISLAMOPHOBIA

Cybunnypoop’s Islamophobia is tied in pretty heavily with his support of Trump, so I’ll be citing a few of those posts in this section as well.

“Ban seven countries’ worth of ideology which promotes violence against women, LGBT people, animals, and nonworshippers? Sounds good to me!”

The cognitive dissonance of a self-avowed Catholic posting this is… incredible.

“Sorry to inform you, but the terrorists who attacked New York, Boston, Orlando, our embassies, and others weren’t Hindus, Buddhists, Christians, Jews, or atheists. They were Muslims.

“It’s not Hinduism, Buddhism, Christianity, Judaism, or atheism which oppresses women, slaughters animals, kills gays, and calls for the conversion or beheading of nonbelievers. It’s Islam.

“Until the ideology evolves to be as peaceful and tolerant as it claims, it doesn’t belong in America.”

There’s a lot to unpack here. Let’s begin by refuting Trump’s claims that “the vast majority of individuals convicted of terrorism and terrorism-related offenses since 9/11 came here from outside of our country.” Plain old xenophobia, not even in the ballpark of truth. Over the past 15 years, none of the self-described Muslim terrorists committing crime have come from the countries on Trump’s ban list. Zero. The country producing the most successful attacks against the USA is the USA itself.

A basic look at the data further reveals that white supremacist, self-described Christian terrorists actually lead the rate of attack and death toll by about 2:1. Yet, bizarrely, nothing from Cybunnypoop about the ‘violence and intolerance’ of Christianity, or even white supremacy… Who saw that coming?

It speaks to Cybunnypoop’s prejudice that he would believe such a blatantly false piece of information with no investigation or critical thought whatsoever. Although, it may speak more to his unwillingness/inability to use Google. We have had some problems with that in the past. 

“Dear Liberals: [sic] You claim to protect women. You claim to protect LGBT. [sic] You claim to protect animals. You claim to protect people who don’t ascribe to the dominant faith. But you’re protecting a violently misogynistic, homophobic, intolerant ideology which still slaughters animals in the name of their god and beheads people who worship otherwise. What the *** is wrong with you?”

Man, for derailing conversations so often to complain about perfectly valid modal grammar he sure loves breaking the English language.

When asked how he could still support Trump, he replied, “Because he hasn’t actually said or done anything wrong. The only thing with which I disagree was the transgender military ban, and that has been shot down, so it’s hardly relevant.”

Particularly in conjunction with his condemnation of liberals on the basis of not like, banning Islam, this is an explicit endorsement of everything from repealing the Alternative Tax Minimum to his sexual misconduct. Everything, except the one thing that directly affects one of Cybunnypoop’s demographics, was right.

HOMOPHOBIA

“I’m not like others in the LGBT spectrum. [bolding mine]

“I hadn’t cared for gay marriage nor had I especially cared to support the cause. […] I’ll fight for the welfare of the many before I’ll fight for the wishes of the few.”

(Well, historically, no, he won’t). Even without the implication that all the gay people who want to get married are selfish, this ignores the reason behind the push for the legalization of gay marriage: The AIDS crisis. Terminally ill gay men were forcibly evicted from their homes after watching their partners die, horribly, because they couldn’t inherit the lease/property. Their partners’ remains were the custody of parents who often wouldn’t allow the survivor to attend the funeral.

Up until gay marriage was legalized on a federal level, these incidents still occurred. One Indiana woman had to pay over $300,000 in taxes upon the death of her wife, and was told by the funeral home she could not arrange for her wife’s cremation as she was an “unrelated third party,” despite having the power of attorney. This is a significant concern.

“I don’t care for "pride.” I’ve actually started to loathe the undertones of the pride movement. […] is it truly worthy of a month and a gold star? […] I think it’s losing relevancy. Can we really celebrate something that’s no longer legally unique? Can we really have pride for… wait, what is it we’re proud of, anyway? We’re legally equal now; we’re socially equal, for the most part.” [bolding mine]

I don’t know if he forgot the homophobia he’s experienced, or if it just doesn’t matter unless it happened it to him.

“The next time someone asks you why LGBT Pride marches exist or why Gay Pride Month is June tell them ‘A bisexual woman named Brenda Howard thought it should be.’“ -Tom Limoncelli

“Another thing–and the most loathsome part–about the “pride movement” concerns the very word itself. “Pride” …be proud of who you are, and be proud of not caring what others think of you. Fine. Sure. It’s fun to wildly flaunt your differences. But what’s the opposite of “pride”? “Shame.” So, if gays are to have pride, does that mean straights are to have shame?”

So why are we to be entitled to pride–why are we allowed to feel good about ourselves and they are not? […] The majority are not oppressive, and even if they wanted to be, they legally couldn’t. 

Good news guys, homophobia is dead and definitely super illegal.

“(Never mind the fact that pride is a negative, narcissistic trait and one of the Seven Deadly Sins.)” [bolding mine]

(We interrupt this post to bring you his “Antipridist Pride”)

“While it seems most of the LGB world makes their sexuality their entire identity, I leave it as just one facet of many.“ Once again, he’s not like Those Other Gays.

“ I’ll bet I pissed off a lot of gays with this post, but I don’t care, and I’m proud of not caring.“ (proceeds to describe the LGBT community as loud, angry, straight-bashing, etc. for a good paragraph or so, obviously very much caring)

That’s enough of that post, huh? Let’s move on.

“I know that a lot of the LGBT community is hypocritical–and intolerantly, angrily so. They scream about others giving them tolerance and respect while they don’t give others such basic rights.

“If there’s Black Pride, why couldn’t there be Caucasian Pride? Gay Pride, Straight Pride.“

As I broke down in my last post, Caucasian≠white, and was first misapplied by white supremacists and popularized by actual, literal Nazis. He evidently doesn’t care, and claims I “created” it. (I can assure you, I haven’t been alive since 1785).

“Is it me, or are there actually very few good gay celebrities?”

Doesn’t like the term “lesbian” because its “image is too pornified”. As I understand it this is fairly common among those who were raised in more conservative or religious families, so it’s not an issue per se; it just becomes weird in conjunction with his wanting to be called a dyke at one point (though I can’t find the post where he said that explicitly, only ones where he describes himself as such).

Said he’d expected Ted Cruz to be a “gay prostitute” because he gave off untrustworthy vibes.

MISOGYNY

As I’m sure most of you are aware, Cybunnypoop is pro-life. From certain parties, that can be motivated by misinformation rather than misogyny (though certainly the misogyny drives that misinformation). In his case? Well, actually only about 75% misogyny. The other 25% is empathizing with fetuses just until they’re born. Idk if it’s because of his parental situation or his existential dread or what, but we’re not here to psychoanalyze him; we’re here to review.

“It’s a point which I make constantly. It’s not hard to not get pregnant. You have a variety of options. There’s birth control. There’s getting your man snipped […]. And there is one absolutely fool-proof, sperm-proof way: ABSTINENCE. It’s stupidly simple, but there are self-righteous women and men out there who say–if you’ll pardon my pun–screw that. Free sex, rah rah. But if you don’t want to “risk” a baby, don’t do the do. There are plenty more things to do in life.”

Yeah, it may be “stupidly simple” for an “asexual homosexual” but other people do, in fact, get horny. “There’s birth control.” Where? You gonna pay for it? You gonna talk their “man” into getting a vasectomy? Pay for that?

I want you all to keep in mind that this is the same person who waxed poetic about his addiction to porn. And hentai. Which he downloaded in a public library, because he was just that addicted. But if someone (god forbid) “does the do,” and their birth control fails? Well, too bad. You should have been able to control your libido.

When Trump was elected he had the following to say:

“This is a time for healing.” No, this is a time for you to suck it up. You may not have wanted this result, but I and half of the country did. So, instead of bitching and moaning and trying to undo what I and half of the country have been working hard for, you need to shut the fuck up, go to school, work, or volunteer, and stop being an intolerant, selfish, hypocritical asshole.

Frankly this could go in a lot of sections but it’s using bitch pejoratively so…

Honestly there are more instances but I feel like you get the picture and this thing is already absurdly long, so we’re going to move along.

ANTI-SEMITISM

On screenshots of a neoboard discussing the origins of the ichthys symbol (the Jesus fish), Cybunnypoop added, apropos of nothing, “Hey, how about the fact that Christianity was originally illegal while Judaism was lawful, and the early Christians had to hold some Jewish mores so they wouldn’t be arrested and executed? Interesting, isn’t it…” and tagged it “two can play at that game”.

Christians weren’t being persecuted for not being Jewish; they were being persecuted for refusing to participate in state events from which the Jews were exempt via religious tradition. Christians were too new to be considered traditional, and were therefore considered in contempt of the state when they refused to, say, make a sacrifice on behalf of the Emperor. Also, we called each other brother & sister but still got married, and spoke weekly about eating a man alive, so people were kind of concerned.

Also, like, it was an explicitly socialist religion in an empire. That was never going to end well. The “mores” they had to hold were “don’t be anti-fascist” and “stop meeting in secret, we don’t know who you are and it’s freaking us out,” neither of which is explicitly Jewish and neither of which you can blame the Jews for.

Pretty minor, but in a poorly executed attempt to be inclusive, he wished everyone a happy Easter & Passover at the same time, only to be informed that Passover wouldn’t be happening for a month. So more about the assumption that Jews are lesser Christians again than any direct hostility. Perhaps better evidence of his ignorance of Jewish customs/how to hit “search” on Google.

 ABLEISM

Here there be slurs!

Alright. We’re going to begin this with a breakdown of the “lame” issue. Here’s the thing: Cybunnypoop hates it. He compares it (ceaselessly) to the r slur, which he uses liberally in his own defense.

I’m certainly not saying it isn’t a slur, or that you should use it, but to be frank, he’s wrong.

In both severity and time in which it’s been part of the English vernacular, lame is far more akin to other ableist slurs like “dumb,” “stupid,” “moron,” “idiot,”–all words which Cybunnypoop uses on the regular. The closest comparison we have to the r slur would be “cr*ppled”–which Cybunnypoop quotes on the regular.

Dumb is the closest analogue, as those middle three weren’t really popular until the American Eugenics Movement kicked in, but hey. If it bothers him so much, why say any of them?

Simply because, it only bothers him when it affects him directly and is said by his enemy.

For example, no problem whatsoever quoting Trump’s book, Cr*ppled America.

Here he calls someone ableist scum for calling him the r slur, yet here he mocks another’s offense at the term by comparing it to modern medical jargon.

Atheists and Liberals [sic] are “dumb”

“entirely okay” with the R slur

This post, which was also in the racism section, littered with fun slurs and what’s either blatant hypocrisy (see: his regular use of words like dumb/stupid) or one of the most incredible point-dodges I’ve ever seen.

Now we get into a recurring theme, with a recurring character. The problem with most of Cybunnypoop’s legitimate criticisms (e.g. lame is a slur, accessibility is bullshit) is that they’re never even googled, let alone researched, and that they come, 9 times out of 10, at the expense of another minority. Or, through sheer ignorance, one of his own.

“Trans people get [famous trans people]. Gay people get [famous gay people]. Black people get [famous black people]. Who do I get? I get Joe Swanson.”

“While everyone’s battling over how to bend backwards and make others comfortable, I’m just sitting here, cursing out the ungrateful bastards because there are places I can’t even ACCESS. […] And never mind the fact that there is no good disabled representation out there. You know who I get to look up to? Joe frickin’ Swanson. It’s so nice to be a forgotten minority. [bolding his]

Joe Swanson, for those of you who (like me) have no idea who that is, is a character on Family Guy in a wheelchair. This begs the question: Why do you need to shit on other groups and their representation to acknowledge how bad you have it?

There are dozens of famous disabled people I can name off the top of my head. Stephen Hawking, Hellen Keller, Beethoven, Lord Byron, FDR, Frida Kahlo, Sudha Chandran, John Milton–a cursory Google search reveals even more. Saying there are no famous disabled people is a shitty fucking thing to do, both because you’re erasing their accomplishments and you’re depriving other disabled people of that representation by pretending it doesn’t exist. Spreading misinformation so you can complain that everyone else is better off than you specifically is just plain cruel.

“I’m so sick and tired of society catering to race, ethnicity, sexuality, gender, but never giving a thought to people with disabilities. We don’t get a slice of the “diversity” pie.“

Catering to. … Catering to.

“Until our society can grow to acknowledge, accept, and represent the diverse world of disabilities, then we don’t have true equality and diversity.”

Like… he could have just made a post saying this. I mean, we have diversity regardless of equality, but that’s semantics. We don’t have to tear down other minorities to be heard. There’s enough “pie” for everyone.

Society: You should accept everyone regardless of sex, culture, gender, sexuality, race, class, ethnicity, economic status Person: What about disabled people? Society: Huh?

I’m not a big fan of his little infographics, primarily because he uses them exclusively as a platform to strawman himself, but this one in particular is uh, frustrating. If he’s speaking about popular society, very few people accept all the groups he listed, particularly class/economic status. If he’s speaking about our country….

Federal protected classes include: Race, color, religion/creed, national origin/ancestry, sex, age, physical or mental disability, veteran status, genetic information, citizenship. 

It’s the same story.

WHAT YOU CAN DO:

BLOCK HIM. Do not reblog his content. Stop him preemptively from reblogging yours. Do not engage with him. 

If you try to debate him, he will probably call you a bully, and you will probably get some not-so-mysterious anons. You will definitely be unable to reach a resolution. I know of at least one individual who’s attempting to “rehabilitate” him, so I guess we’ll see how that goes? I’d be genuinely delighted.

Reblog this post if you can, to spread the word.

Educate yourself about the issues addressed in this post. If you have questions, my inbox is always open.

I am not infallible, and I will also make mistakes. Please bring these to my attention immediately and they will be addressed.

This is a much less urgent situation than the previous post, as he’s (mostly) stopped harassing people, but you have a right to be aware of whom you’re interacting with. Whether you block him or befriend him or whatever is up to you, and I hope whatever choice you make is the right choice for you.

[ooc-but-stylish]

My thoughts on and hopes for Iris West

I liked Iris in the first two seasons of The Flash. Candice did a good job of capturing the charm, warmth and spunk of the character from the comics. I feel like Westallen is dragging her down and not allowing her to develop her identity outside of her relationship. I hated how they stripped away her autonomy in the third season. The theme of the season was free will vs destiny but Iris’s choices were diminished. It still pisses me off that they went with the Oh I will try to heal this screwed man with my love shit with Savitar. But what pisses me off the most is that our Iris West the woman who constantly risked her life for a story, the woman who wanted to tell the public about the unknown, the woman who tried to give the public hope, gave up her career to become Mrs. Star Labs. 

That shit is really backwards. I don’t care that the writers are trying to overcompensate by making Iris the boss, they took a huge part of her identity away. As a woman who is trying to break into a STEM field I could relate to Iris West in the first two seasons when she was trying to make a name for herself. I really related to her when she was trying to break into journalism and she had to prove herself. When she took risks to get a story or tried to give the public the truth. I loved it when she had to go against her editor in season 2. I am happy that at least towards the end of season 4, Iris is reclaiming that part of her identity. I honestly want less Westallen stuff next season so we can see Iris being a kickass journalist. I would love it if she started her own online news paper or something. 

Good submission. Thankfully, CP also wants Iris to go back to her roots in being an actual journalist and not just Barry Allen’s cheerleader.

IMO, the writing was always sub-par with Iris with the quality getting worse in later seasons, and a lot of it has to do with the writers not getting what issues there could possibly have been around Iris’s character in the initial seasons and then fixing the wrong problems with wronger solutions, or them just simply not caring about her at all to write her well compared to similar characters on the network or in the genre. 

She was a journalist in Season 1, but the B Plot of her reporting had to be contrived into a tangential relation to the A Plot of Barry vs. Reverse Flash. She was a journalist, but she had to be the last person to know that Barry was the Flash. She was a journalist, and didn’t learn a thing about Wells and Reverse Flash being one and the same, with that plot going to Mason and Mason getting killed off with her never finding out about that either. She was a journalist, and her most notable moment was showing Wells in 1x11 that she wasn’t going to ask “soft questions” so he could avoid being held accountable about the Particle Accelerator explosion and that’s it. She was a journalist but somehow consistently not allowed to be intelligent on her own, finding things out by chance or fate or whatever.

So instead of fixing that so that her plot established her character traits outside of propping up the Flash, they… made her more and more of a prop for the Flash,  like the only way she could be relevant was by not being herself. Aside from the subplot with Francine, where Francine existed just to die and also introduce Wally into the show. But I mean, Iris could’ve been writing articles about the breaches, or about people being seen in two places at the same time (suggesting Earth-2 doppelgangers), or whatever Grodd was up to when he had some episodes. 

I can’t even remember what Iris’s editor tried in season 2 that she went against. … Okay, now I do. It was that whole Trajectory bit, right, with the editor illogically suggesting that Iris write a piece about Flash “going Rogue” with 0 proof it was even him, then unprofessionally assumed her wanting a conversation with him was automatically a date. And it’s good that she didn’t take nonsense from her editor, but that was the writers sliding into “Iris as the Flash’s cheerleader” when Iris herself (in season 1) wanted to prove that she was a serious journalist interested in things that weren’t just about the Flash. We already know she thinks the Flash is a hero. We know she believes in him both in and out of the costume. We don’t need her writing articles about that. And a lot of season 2 even ignored actually developing Barry and Iris’s relationship beyond “Oh hey, remember how we were married in this other Earth, where most of the people we knew were had 180 in their personality, including us? Haha, yeah, good times” so they couldn’t even do WestAllen correctly.

So like, in and out of her job, Iris was pretty much just about Barry in what screentime she had. And she only moved on from Eddie because Eddie told her to in a video that didn’t exist until Barry changed the timeline.

Then again, Iris could have been way worse in S2. She could’ve been Patty Spivot.

Yeah. I said it.

Patty in Season 2 was pretty much explicitly there to be a Female Barry Allen– a scientifically minded, socially awkward, babbling comic book geek who wants revenge against a metahuman for the murder of a parent, but since she’s not actually Barry and is in a separate body, writers could portray her so that she’s such a fan of Barry that she read all of his reports, and totally gets him and his jokes you know? Lawlz! …. Yawn. Her character was a Flash and Barry fangirl right down to her willingness to drop her plans to go to college if Barry admitted he was a superhero. So like…. people saying they shipped “Spallen” over “Westallen” and citing Patty as the better character were really transparent. Patty didn’t bring anything to the table except being the genderbend of the main dude and willing to stop her whole life to be with him. The point is the writers are just awful.

Then season 3 was all about Iris dying and she had the least amount of screentime/episodes in it: what screentime she did have was replaying her death over and over and over and over and over, and if it wasn’t her dying it was trying to reassure everyone else that if she died anyway, to move on. For a season about Iris, a lot of the focus was on how the guys in her life would handle it and not about her own life and ambitions. She didn’t have a single thing on her bucket list to get done? She wasn’t going to fight for her own life?

It’s like, the way CW writers are approaching Iris is like their network never ever had 10 seasons of a superhero show with female journalist side characters in it before. You know, the show with not one but two Daily Planet reporters doing something other than writing about Superman constantly– and I’m pretty sure the first person that did get attached to Superman’s exploits and putting them on the paper was Jimmy Olsen.

[innuendostudios]

The next video in my series on Alt-Right rhetorical strategies. You can help this series come out regularly, as well as support my other work, by backing me on Patreon.

Transcript below the cut.

Say, for the sake of argument, there's this feminist media critic whose work you respect. Being an internet-savvy human in the information age, you sometimes share your opinions of her work on your various social media platforms. And you've noticed, whenever you speak positively of her, many different people come out to yell the same handful of things at you.

It usually starts with, "How can you support that conwoman after she stole thousands of dollars from people?"

And you say, "No, she didn't steal anything, she ran a crowdfunding campaign that people contributed willingly to, and overwhelmingly those people seem satisfied with their donations."

And they say, "Yeah, she asked for a hundred thousand dollars for a shitty little project."

And you say, "No, she got a hundred thousand, because people got excited about her work and gave her more than she asked for, but the original pitch was only 10k. Also, how many times have you given that number to people without looking it up?"

And they say, "Yeah, she asked for 10k and then never finished anything."

And you say, "No, she finished the project earlier this year. Of course it took longer than it was originally pitched, you get ten times what you ask for you’re kind of obligated to make a bigger project, because, if you didn't, that would be running away with ninety grand..."

Now, by this time you’ve noticed your interlocutor's position has changed from "she stole from people" to "she asked too much to begin with" to "she took too long to deliver" as though these are all the same argument. You also notice the pattern of the conversation: he says something short, quippy, and wrong, you give a detailed correction, he says something else short, quippy, wrong, and only tangentially related to his last point, and the cycle repeats itself. This goes on and on.

And it's not, you've noticed, just this discussion; you find this manner of argument often whenever you express left-of-center beliefs. You talk about the election, someone says you vote Democrat because you must have a conservative father you hate; you talk about polyamory, someone says if you have more than one female partner you must be a sexist; or they just say you're faking a non-regional accent. (I don’t understand that one, either.)

The running theme here is all these people who ostensibly want a frank exchange of ideas spend a lot more time making accusations than asking questions. Because, why ask what you believe when they can tell you what you believe and make you correct them? And if you ever don’t correct them, must be because they’re right.

And you're not naive; you see what's going on here. This isn't about conversation, it's about boxes. When you say something cogent that they don't agree with, and they get the sinking feeling that you might start making sense, they need a reason not to listen to you. So they reach for a box to stick you in: dishonest feminism, fake progressivism, daddy-issue liberalism. No one in those boxes is worth listening to, which means, as long as they've got you in one, they're not at risk of having their minds changed. This isn’t even an argument with you, not really; their presenting themselves with arguments for why they don't have to listen to you.

So your first reflex is to defy their expectations. "Actually, my dad was a draft-dodging hippie who told me he loved me every day." "And I never said what genders my partners are but I promise they're all feminists." "As for my accent- actually, I don't know what to do with the accent thing." But the point is, “I refuse to fit in your box.” And if they can't put you in one, if they can't dismiss you outright, they'll have to engage with your argument.

But if you've spent any time arguing with angry dudes online you know what I'm about to say: They don’t. This accusatory, condescending attitude never falters. Because a technique that has permeated anti-progressivism is to Never Play Defense.

Now don't get me wrong, what I said about the Right fitting the Left into simplified boxes as a way of preserving their own egos, I do think that's a thing, at least for many people much of the time. And I think the reassurance it brings is why the technique stays so popular. But that framing is about how individual people are feeling in isolated moments, and leaves out the larger game that's being played. Because there is a long-term strategic value to never playing defense, and it's less to do with arguments than with attitude.

From your perspective, this debate about the feminist is a joke. This guy doesn't know what he's talking about, he comes in hot without confirming any of his assumptions, the whole conversation is you repeatedly schooling an ignorant dipshit. But that's only if you’re the fool who listens to what’s actually being said. Never Play Defense is a strategy that looks past language to posture; the tone, word choice, even the expressions on your faces. If you half-focus your eyes and look not at the words but the flow of the conversation, you can see the dynamic at play:

He says his short, quippy statement, and you give your detailed rebuttal. He then picks a single point from your response and attacks that as the new subject. Now, to an onlooker, the logical brain would register that he's leaving 90% of your argument on the table, and that, by changing positions, he's conceding he lost the first round. But the lizard brain notices that he's always making the accusations, always in the dominant position, that he's always acting and you're always reacting. Regardless of what is said, he displays all the outward signs of winning. So, on a purely emotional level, he leaves the impression of being right.

I have never had an argument look like this that wasn’t in public. This is a technique that means speaking not so much to the other person as to the people watching. Liberals tend to operate as though voters are beings of pure reason, and neglect that rational people still have emotions, and those emotions factor into what they believe. And that long after this argument is over, when people only half-remember what was said, what lingers on is what impressions the speakers made.

Ronald Reagan coined the phrase, "If you're explaining, you're losing." The trick is, if he's always accusing, then you're always explaining.

This technique of winning by looking like you’re winning is not new, and, historically, it's been used by both parties. But modern liberals seem especially susceptible to it because it plays on one of their big weaknesses, which is - and I say this with love - the liberal fantasy of putting someone in their place.

Any time a free speech warrior gets the Bill of Rights quoted to them, when a racist gets "historical accuracy" explained by an actual historian, liberals take screencaps. We put it on Storify. We pass that shit around like theater popcorn. We live for the day an ignorant prick gets dunked on.

I remind you: this was the central conceit of an entire TV show. [West Wing clip.]

But let me ask you: in all these scenarios, who's doing all the explaining?

The reason scenes like this are so satisfying is precisely because they activate the emotions. Everyone wants to be Joseph Welch telling off McCarthy, where an appeal to reason looks like winning. But the Right has learned that, if you never look like you’re losing, you can convince a lot of people that you’re not. And, if you keep your statements short and punchy, people will remember what you said better than they remember the long explanation of why it’s untrue. If done correctly, you might even convince yourself you know what you’re talking about.

Now, again, this is not exclusive to the Right - this is how most teenagers argue regardless of their politics, where it’s less important to be right than it is to be better than someone. But mixed with Control the Conversation - see previous video - the Right has a full-bodied cocktail for manipulating how the Left argues.

But where it gets dangerous is in how the Alt-Right has capitalized on this.

This argument isn’t just about sticking a woman in the Lying Feminism box so she doesn’t have to be listened to, it’s also signaling to anyone watching what box they should stick her in. Even if an onlooker recognizes that she literally did not con anyone out of their money, the idea that how much she asked for and how long she took to deliver are relevant to her credibility is still planted in their heads. It subtly suggests that, the next time they feel threatened by a female media critic, maybe they should look at how much money she makes, how long her work takes to produce; maybe they don’t have to listen to her, because they’ve got this handy box.

So what’s most valuable to the Alt-Right is not who wins or loses any individual argument, it’s the mechanics of the argument itself; it’s the boxes. Over the last several years the far Right has pushed hard on a number of reductive categories: the Cultural Marxism box, the Reverse Racism box, even terms like “beta” and “mangina” are just shorthands for the Failed Masculinity box. The Alt-Right is a box factory, putting huge swaths of Leftist rhetoric, most especially that that would rebut their core positions, into categories where they can be summarily ignored.

These myths have power if and only if they are immediately recognizable to a lot of people. One function of this aggressive posturing is that they want to provoke an argument, to be so pompous that you’re itching to publicly take this asshole down, which gives that asshole access to your followers. It’s about them introducing a myth to your audience and reinforcing that myth for theirs. And that myth gets spread even when you feel like you’re winning.

I can’t tell you the best way to deal with this, but I do know one way, which is to keep control of your own story. When someone comes out the gate with accusations, it’s a big red flag that they are not arguing in good faith. You are not required to argue with them. When someone says something untrue, you can just tell your audience what the truth is without acknowledging the lie or the one repeating it. A detailed explanation lands a lot better when it’s not being contrasted with a sound bite. Decide for yourself how your audience gets acquainted with a popular fiction, and never be too proud to delete a comment.

In this political climate, these debates have real impact on real people’s lives. They’re not, in fact, a game of football. So if someone tries to force you to play defense, you don’t have to play.

[kerfufflewatch]

McHanzo Week 3

Undercover/Downtime

kind of only tangentially related but it’s good enough and you can’t stop me

---

“Hey, sweetheart,” McCree’s voice murmurs, and Hanzo all but melts at the sound.

“Hello, Jesse,” he replies as he shuts the door to his motel room behind him. He double-checks the locks, though so far he has not been in any danger, and sits on the edge of the flimsy bed. Every muscle in his body aches in ways he had not previously thought possible, and fatigue weighs heavily down upon him life a suffocating blanket. He had not expected bartending, of all things, to be so hard on him.

“You sound tired. Everythin’ alright over there?”

“Yes, I am fine. It has been a long night.”

“I’ll bet.”

Hanzo reaches up and pulls off the slouchy beanie on his head, gives it a look, and tosses it disgustedly to the floor. He does not mind the rest of the outfit he has adopted for his undercover mission--skin-tight jeans and t-shirts, heavy boots, and a borrowed oversized flannel shirt--but he hates the hat. It itches all day and gives him hat hair. He was also forced to shave, and he keeps forgetting that his beard is gone and briefly shocking himself with the revelation five times per day.

The outfit is the least of his problems, really, but it is an extra layer of misery--the worst being the sheer distance between himself and McCree.

He has been in the States for over a week now, quietly investigating a rumor of Talon dealings with a nearby gang. The bar in which he was stationed was large and always busy. He had gathered a fair amount of information, so it was not a waste, but it did not stop him from wanting to do almost anything else. And not only is the distance wearing on him, but thanks to the nature of the assignment, communications had been severely limited. This is the first time since his departure that he has even heard McCree’s voice. He had underestimated just how much he would miss it.

“How’s the mission going, then? Finding anything good?”

“Some. People are remarkably willing to talk about secret gang dealings once they have had a beer.”

“Oh yeah. You wouldn’t believe what I’ve gotten people to tell me by pushin’ a couple drinks on ‘em. One of the best ways to get ‘em to talk.”

“So I have seen. How are things at the Watchpoint?”

McCree chatters amiably about the past few days while Hanzo kicks off his shoes and socks. He gives in to his body’s demands and stretches out across the length of the bed, laying the phone against his ear instead of holding it like a proper adult. Part of him wants to fall asleep just as he is, current conversation be damned, but he may not get another chance to talk to McCree. Not only that, but he reeks of sweat and alcohol and other people’s perfume, somehow, and he cannot bear to go to sleep that way.

“Hey,” McCree says, “send me a picture.”

“A picture?”

“I ain’t seen you in a week and I don’t know what you look like all dressed up. Let me see.”

Hanzo considers for a moment, then says, “I have a better idea,” he says. He taps at his phone to switch on the camera, and almost immediately, McCree’s smiling face appears on the screen. He holds the phone out at arm’s length so that McCree can see more of him, and watches McCree’s gaze flicker down Hanzo’s body and up again.

“Well damn,” McCree says, a grin spreading wide on his face. “If I knew you’d look that good in one of my shirts, I’d’ve given you one ages ago.”

“It is only for disguise.”

“What’s your point? You still look damn good in it. I bet you get all the tips, make the other bartenders real mad.” There’s a pause, then McCree says, with a touch less humor, “Unless they’re all checkin’ you out, instead.”

Hanzo laughs. “If they are, I have not noticed,” he says truthfully. “They do not matter to me. Not as you do.”

McCree’s smile turns surprisingly shy. “Aw, shucks, darlin’,” he says.

They lapse into a comfortable silence for awhile. Hanzo stretches out on the bed, relaxing amongst the covers in the comforting digital presence of his boyfriend while his body, still weary, sinks into the soft bed. He expects McCree to be bored by this, but he seems just as content to stay as they are for a moment or two. It is no substitute for McCree at his side, but for now, it will do.

After a minute or so, McCree breaks the silence and says softly, “I miss you real bad. Wish you were back here already.”

Hanzo’s gut clenches with a pang of sadness. “I miss you as well,” he says, and is surprised by how tight his throat feels. Is this what love is, then? Being doomed to pine every time he is away from McCree for more than a day? Perhaps it will fade with time, this aching want, but for now he is simultaneously embarrassed and overcome by it.

“I hate not havin’ you here. And I hate that you’re out there and I can’t keep an eye on you.” McCree sighs heavily and rubs his forehead.

“I am not alone,” Hanzo reminds him. “I am with a team.”

“I know. Even if they weren’t there, you’re such a damn force of nature that you’d probably be just fine, anyway.” McCree sighs again, creating a burst of static over the phone. “I just worry, y’know.”

“I know.” Hanzo thinks of the Gibraltar base, which is still critically understaffed even with the recent Recall, and of the Talon break-in that had happened a couple of months before he had arrived. McCree is safer within those walls than outside, but there is still a risk that Hanzo can’t deny. He pushes those thoughts away before they can take hold.

“I am not used to being alone anymore,” he offers instead.

“Yeah?”

“I am used to you in my bed. It has been harder to sleep since I left.”

“Yeah. I know the feeling. These bunks are tiny as all hell, but I’d still rather share ‘em with you.” McCree swallows. “How much longer are you gonna be undercover, anyway?”

“Winston estimates another week unless something happens.”

“Shit.”

“It is not so long.”

“It’s long enough. If I had it my way, you’d never leave.”

Hanzo laughs softly, but it is halfhearted. Exhaustion tugs at his eyelids, beckoning him to sleep. He must look the part, because McCree chuckles and says, “That’s enough of that. You need to get yourself to bed.”

“I do not want to stop just because I am tired.”

“It’s alright, darlin’. You need to rest so you can get your mission all done and come back home.”

Home.

Hanzo had not consciously thought of the Gibraltar Watchpoint as such before. But, he supposed, it was the closest thing he had now, and if it was where McCree resided, perhaps it was home after all. The thought makes a spot of warmth bloom in Hanzo’s chest.

“Alright,” Hanzo finally agrees. “I do need to sleep before I subject myself to another night of this torture.”

“Yeah, absolutely. Good night, sweetheart. Gimme another call if you can this week.”

“I will. Good night, Jesse.”

Before he falls asleep, however, Hanzo has a thought. He rolls onto his back, his phone held above him with the camera open, and considers. He rucks the hem of his t-shirt up over his abdomen, arranges his--McCree’s--flannel and his hair into artful chaos, and snaps a photo that he then sends off to McCree.

He is almost asleep when he finally hears his phone chime with a response, but he is nonetheless pleased.

One more week won’t be so bad, he decides. And perhaps when he gets back, he will still wear the flannel. Not for undercover purposes, no, but . . . it is comfortable.

[bidickgrayson]

i listened to the first half of bnha s2 at work because i’m a good worker

s2′s soundtrack is SO GOOD, i seriously seriously seriously look forward to the ost’s release every day. there’s a particular song that’s been stuck in my head all day that i can’t wait for, there’s a lot of really great battle and emotional tracks and i’m so excited to listen to them all on repeat

bakugou....is not my fave....but god, i really love him in the sports festival. slash just love him in general? he is, at least, one of my faves. idk if i’ve ever had a character i liked so much but also had such complicated feelings on and sometimes truly truly hated/resented. plus i still resent his popularity in fandom, #bitter, he should never rank about deku in any popularity poll. but basically, as long as he’s staying away from deku, and i’m not remembering how beyond awful he was/is to deku, i like him a lot. but when i remember his capacity for cruelty....yeesh.

anyway. complicated feelings aside, literally one of my FAVORITE moments in the entire sports festival arc is the moment where bakugou REFUSES to lose to monoma, and takes back not only enough headbands to place, but ALL of monoma’s headbands (plus the music that plays during that moment is the song that’s been stuck in my head since i heard it. SO good). there’s something so beyond words satisfying about that series of events. the fact that bakugou frankly brought it upon himself in the first place by being a little shit. so he reaps what he sowed, or whatever, but THEN he refuses to lose, refuses to be second place. and he gets so fired up, he gets his whole team fired up, succeeds at taking back the headbands!! while aizawa and all might think about how important bakugou’s drive to win is

reminds me of what aizawa said during the hero license arc, where he was like, no one gets class a more motivated and driven to win than deku and bakugou. and i love it tbh? it’s so true

at the end of the festival, all might says something about it being admirable that bakugou actually followed through on his declaration at the beginning of the festival, that he would win. and tbh, i find it admirable too. bakugou’s determination throughout the festival (plus all the times we were meant to laugh at bakugou, tbh) was what made me start to like him despite my reservations. still can’t wait for deku to finally kick his ass tho

still love the todoroki v. deku episode THE MOST. i’ve watched/listened to that episode six times now lmao, including two times today which maybe also coincided with my period of lowest productivity at work today

deku’s compassion is....something else. god i love deku, god i love deku, god i love deku I LOVE DEKU SO MUCH. i was particularly emo today about him recognizing todoroki’s sadness when he went totally overboard in his match against sero and was slowly melting the ice. just...his compassion throughout the whole deal with todoroki. learning more about him, and realizing the kind of man/father endeavor is, and making the decision to help todoroki the only way he can...like, what he did to his body in their match, the way he R E F U S E D to lose until todoroki recognized his power as his own....

and like, man. deku barely even KNEW todoroki at this point. he LITERALLY permanently damaged his hand for a boy who’s practically a stranger, just because deku’s the greatest hero, most selfless hero ever and i would die for him.

my thoughts when it comes to the tddk fight and todoroki’s s2 arc in general always turns into a muddled mess of gibberish and feelings lmao. idk man. it’s just really good. i would die for both todoroki and deku

tangentially related: deku is SO GOOD at looking out for other and taking care of others, and SO BAD at taking care of himself :( protect him. just things like his fight with todoroki, but also just growing up, and how he stood up to bakugou when he bullied another kid, but never really stood up for himself against bakugou until later

going off on a different note. and not only related to this season. but oh my god, one of my fave things about todoroki is how he Could Not Care Less about bakugou like, ever. he’s so unbothered by him, i fcking love it. like when todoroki declares war on deku, but doesn’t care to declare war on bakugou. when bakugou’s trying to get todoroki to take him seriously, and destroys todoroki’s table, and todoroki’s just like. okay. anyway, about that childhood friend you hate, holy shit has he always been that amazing? it’s just so great because bakugou is the most threatened by both deku and todoroki, but it’s so one-sided in todoroki’s case

tddk s2 related, i LIVE for people making connections specifically between todoroki and deku. there’s obviously the whole, son of the number 2 hero versus the “son”/successor of the number 1 hero deal, but what i’m so much more into is when all for one (i think? some villain dude lmao) tells shigaraki to watch “these two” closely because they could become an obstacle to him in the future, and then when all might and thirteen are talking, and all might’s like, these two are more similar than they probably realize, they have a similar intensity around them, and also they both saved me at the usj. I LIVE. all i want in the future of bnha is more connections/team-ups specifically between todoroki and deku. my two faves. please.

[tylerbeyond-blog1]

▼ ♢ ✖ ☎ ☂ ✣ ♀ lets fight

▼ kissing them

tae ho grins from ear to ear. he recognizes that unwilling smile. how he was somehow to blame for what is about to happen. he’s won again. melted their heart and side stepped their defenses, and now they couldn’t help but kiss him. tae ho liked winning. sometimes he wonders if they let him win, but that seems unlikely. even when he loses, he feels like he wins. “don’t look like that,” they say, pink lips turned in a frown. 

“don’t look like what?” he replies, still grinning. 

“that one, you smug bastard.”

 tae ho quirks an eyebrow, his expression even more smug now. “what’re you gonna do about it?” 

they kiss him again and he smiles into it, even when he feels their teeth at his lips. they try to punish him, bruise his lips to bruise his ego, but it only makes him happier. tae ho doesn’t know what it’s like to lose. he hopes he never finds out. as long as he has jung so by his side, he doesn’t think he ever will.

♢ stabbing them

this isn’t his vegas apartment. this isn’t even his brooklynn apartment. this is the apartment two floors down tae ho used to spend the odd afternoon in doing drugs and having sex with a man he barely knew, but considered his friend. wait, no, this is his apartment in brooklynn. it doesn’t feel like home. the posters on the walls are his but he feels nothing but terror and anguish in this room. there’s a message on the wall in blood. he smells smoke. he feels fire errupting from his side. heat spills down the blade twisting in his gut. his pants are soaked.

the hand holding the blade isn’t the one usually holding it. it isn’t large and strong and pale as bone. it’s slight and familiar. he isn’t looking up into the dark, soulless eyes of his killer. he’s looking down into the anguished, tear stained face of his best friend. but they aren’t beautiful. they’re twisted, shifting between the faces of beck and jung so. light and dark, love and hate, fear and loathing. “you did this to us!” the monster screams. “you did this to yourself,” it says in dark, gravely tones. “you did this to me!” red hot panic courses through him, but his scream is dead in his throat. all he can do is gurgle, drowning in his own blood. “it wasn’t supposed to be this way.” the two say in harmony. 

“ae… tae…. tae!”

finally the screaming makes it past the blood in his throat and he can move. he thrashes and fights, his limbs curiously tangled. suddenly, he’s soaked. his eyes snap open. this isn’t beck’s apartment. this isn’t his brooklynn apartment, either. he’s in las vegas. there’s no smoke, and there’s no fire. not on the walls, nor in his side, though it ached with the ghost of old injury. jung so is leaning over him. fear shocks his system once more and he scrambles to get away.

“tae, tae, babe, it’s me! it’s me! you’re safe. no one’s going to hurt you. he’s gone.” 

he watches them, eyes wild like those of a wary animal, chest rising and falling rapidly. 

“tae?”

“…why am i wet?” he asks, his hand going to his throat, then his side.

jung so watches him with pain in their beautiful, soft brown eyes. “you weren’t waking up. i dumped my water…”

slowly, tae ho starts to make sense of his surroundings. separating the nightmare from reality, he gets off the bed. jung  so follows. he raises a hand. “i need… give me a minute, please.”

they nod and watch him go.

in the bathroom, he dries his face and hair. he takes off his shirt. the great ugly scar in his side is closed. no blood. tae ho’s reflection is pale and drawn. he’s stronger now, but he feels as skeletal and weak as he had two years ago.

there are footsteps behind him. arms wrap around his middle. there’s no fear this time. jung so isn’t the monster. still, their words echo in his mind. 

you did this to me.

♞ shooting them

tae ho had a dream. no, not the rockstar dream, a different but tangentially related dream. just like barney stinson, he would never take a bad photo. so far, he’d succeeded. still, jung so tried. they tried so hard to catch him candid. they managed once. now tae ho sits in his boxers on the window sill of their apartment, stomach in rolls as he hugs his knees and stares out the window. he hears the floorboards creak. in a flash he sits up straight and drops one leg, resting his hand on his fist and looking contemplative. he hears a shutter click. “god dammit.” jung so huffs. 

“bet that one could go in rolling stone right now,” tae ho says, smugly.

“i’ll get a real candid of you one day,” jung so says, hotly. 

“holding a photoshoot in my sleep doesn’t count.” 

jung so raises an eyebrow and tae ho realizes his mistake. 

“you drool sometimes in your sleep.” 

tae ho laughs. “good thing i never sleep!” still, his insomnia didn’t seem to deter jung so. “i’m going to get a bad photo of you. it’s gonna happen.”

✖ punching them

tae ho’s head jerks back and he hears his teeth crack against one another. pain blooms across his face. “you haven’t hit me like that since high school.” he doesn’t think he deserves this. he doesn’t understand why they’re angry. he was just trying to help. it doesn’t bother him like it might someone else. they used to fight all the time. for fun and to settle squabbles. but it had been years since they’d proper punched him in the face. he might’ve responded in kind, but something stays his hand. they aren’t kids anymore. they aren’t just his young friend anymore. he can’t do it. he clenches his jaw and relaxes his fists. 

sometimes they needed to punch it out. sometimes that was the only way to resolve their issues. but not this time. not now, not after everything they’d been through and how far they’d come. maybe that was why his heart didn’t ache even though his jaw throbbed. jung so didn’t actually want to hurt him. if they did, there were far easier, less physical ways to do it. their words cut worse than any physical injury ever could. well, almost any injury. tae ho spits blood on the sidewalk. “watch the face, next time.” 

“shut the fuck up!” they scream. “how could you do that to me? it was humiliating! and cassandra’s pissed!”

“fuck cassandra! i thought you’d like it! you seemed so miserable, i thought― i thought you’d like hanging out with quinn…”

“fuck off! you humiliated me!”

➶ slapping them

to say tae ho has a vanity problem is a bit of an understatement. to say that is an understatement. since he started training in earnest, it has gotten worse. it means great things for the band’s promotional shoots and his instagram has never been more alive. tae ho turns in the mirror, trying to figure out the best angle for a selfie that doesn’t make him look like a total toolbag.

“there’s no angle where you won’t look like a total tool,” jung so says, coldly.

“wanna bet?” tae ho snapped one over his shoulder, getting a shot of his back and ass. when he lowers his phone to see, jung so got a peek. 

“i stand corrected. you look like a total fuckboy.” 

“probably cuz i am one.”

“you shouldn’t be proud of that.”

tae ho scoffs. “look at me.” he holds up the phone and zooms in on his ass.

jung so rolls their eyes. “toolbag fuckboy.” they gave him a sharp slap on the ass.

“oh! please, sir, can i have another?”

“oh my god.”

☠ poisoning them

tae ho’s knuckles are pale and tight as he grips the toilet bowl. a thin sheen of sweat breaks out over his skin, giving him a pale, clammy look about his thin face. “what… what did you put in that ramen?” he asks, forcing down yet another heave. 

jung so rubs his back soothingly, looking terribly guilty and apologetic. their delicate features pinched and slightly green. they have a sympathetic gag reflex so remaining here in the bathroom with tae ho was the ultimate declaration of apology and penance. “i- i don’t know! there were some chicken left overs but? they were only a day or two old, we’ve definitely had longer left overs before. oh, god, tae i’m so sorry!”

tae ho waved a hand, then quickly slapped it to his mouth as more ramen made a break for it. “shi- shit happens, babe. it’s fine.” he groaned. “better― ugh― better toss it, though. or give it to cassandra tomorrow.”

☂ picking them up

tae ho is not the strongest man in the world. he isn’t even the strongest man in the band. he is, in fact, the weakest. his endurance and energy knows no rival, but both gabe and fang had him beat in the upper (and lower) body strength. he is far better off than he had been two years ago, but cassandra not-so-gently insists he should do more strength training. jung so says he’s fine the way he is, but they work out with him whenever they can, and especially on nights when fang isn’t around or tae ho will definitely slack off. “c’mon, are you really gonna let fang be the hottest person in the band? well, second hottest to me, but you get it.”

tae ho looks at jung so with such offense you’d think they’d insulted his mother. “fuck no, are you kidding?” tae ho huffs, face blotchy, sweat shining on his freckled skin. arms trembling, he forces the barbell up. jung so pulls it back into place on the rack. with a whoop! tae ho stands up and punches the air. “how’s that for hottest band member?”

jung so’s smirking at him, the kind of smirk he knows means they really don’t want to be smiling but can’t help it. “second hottest. and you only did, what, ten reps?”

tae ho gapes at them. “that thing’s mad heavy! i bet i could press you.” 

“don’t you dare―” but it’s too late. tae ho swooped in and picked them up by the waist and lifted them clear off the ground. they squeal, gripping his shoulders and laughing. “put me down, you idiot!” he kisses their abdomen. “you’re so fucking stupid, this isn’t even a press! it doesn’t count!”

 tae ho laughs, giddy at how easily he lifted them. two years ago, this would’ve been unthinkable. jung so must think so, too. they kiss his forehead. “put me the fuck down.” 

✣ bringing them food

when you are in a band that’s as close as kiss & make up, illnesses pass through all of them like a plague. it usually starts with fang or tae ho and ends with jung so or gabe. this time, it’s jung so, and tae ho could not be more sorry. the great plague of twenty-seventeen originated with tae ho. he has jung so tucked into bed, a bed they kicked him out of. cuddled neatly into every pillow they own, they watch rupaul’s drag race with a sports bottle of gatorade and a box of tissues. “i’m hungryyy,” the whine. 

“it’s almost ready, babe!” tae ho calls from the kitchen. he ladels spicy mapo ramen into a bowl. “make room,” he says, carrying a tray of steaming ramen and couple packets of crackers. jung so makes a small effort to brush used tissues off the bed and sit up. tae ho lays the tray over their lap and takes a seat beside them. “just what the doctor ordered,” he says, smiling kindly at them.

“i don’t think any doctor has ever ordered an overdose of sodium,”  they say, picking up the spoon and stirring the noodles.

“i can take it back if you want.”

“no, no, it’s fine. since when do we listen to doctors?” 

tae ho laughs. he tucks a paper towel into the collar of their shirt and they swat his hand away. 

“if you ever do that again, i’ll kill you.”

“you’re sick. you can’t do shit to me.”

“wanna bet?”

tae ho

☎ hugging them

jung so slides into bed, carefully. the bed hardly shifts under their weight. they lean down and brush a tender kiss to his temple, then lay down beside him, pulling him into a gentle embrace. in an astounding feet of agility and speed, tae ho locks his arms and legs around them. jung so always said, if you give tae ho an inch, he’ll take a mile. really, they shouldn’t be so surprised that he koala hugged them so tightly they could hardly move. what did they expect from sneaking into his bed and hugging him? jung so had to hve known he was awake. he rarely slept, especially if jung so wasn’t with him. “you’re too hot!” they whine in korean. “you’re too hot― get off!”

tae ho laughs, nuzzling their cheek, taking full advantage of having them trapped in his embrace. soon they’d give him a good smack or an elbow or knee, and he’d have to let go. until then, he’d enjoy every inch of this mile jung so let him have. 

“oh, for fuck’s sake.” jung so jabs him hard in the stomach forcing tae ho to let go. 

“you’re so mean to me,” tae ho cried, rubbing the spot they’d poked him. 

“you’re so weird!” they exclaim, pushing tae ho so his back is to them. jung so curls against his back. tae ho grins into his pillow.

♀ proposing marriage

if jung so had their way

tyler is alive with music, alive in the glory of the love of their fans. this is what he always wanted. not boy band antics, no label to force them into a box they didn’t fit in. the audience is packed with a thousand friends, new and old, the people who brought them to this new point. no label to answer to, no weak willed manager to tell them what to do. kiss & make up reborn, and tae ho couldn’t be happier if someone handed him an emmy right then. 

he danced along the stage, reaching for the hands of their fans, thanking them with all his heart. he’s covered in sweat. he turns and sees fang, gabe, and jess are gleaming with sweat and pride and joy. jess hands off goldilocks to a roadie and comes forward with a mic in their hand. tyler holds his arm out to them. 

“this has been the greatest night ever, fam!” tyler says to tumultuous cheers. 

“you guys are definitely the greatest audience. you stuck around even with this one ate shit after the fourth song!” the crowd laughs along with jess as they slip under tyler’s outstretched arm. they’re dressed exactly how they want to be. they are exactly who they want to be tonight and the audience loves them for it.

“the stage was wet!” tyler insists.

“because you keep throwing water everywhere, idiot!”

“they’ve got you there,” says gabe from behind his drum kit.

“well! fine! but they don’t mind, right? you love us!”

the crowd agrees whole-heartedly. someone screams “i love you, tyler!”

“i love you, too!” he answers.

“you know who else loves you?” begins jess, stepping away from him.

“me?”

everyone laughs.

“i mean, yeah. but, not what i meant.” they get down on one knee. the audience gasps, a brief moment of silence before they start screaming. jung so waves them down to a dull roar. fang is already crying. “tyler… tae ho… i fucking love you. i’ve loved you ever since we started this band, but don’t tell anyone okay, that would totally ruin my rep.” they wink at the crowd who laugh right on cue. “you always said we were never gonna be apart, but, y’know, i figured we should make it official.”

tyler gapes at them, for once in his life, completely gobsmacked and still. his eyes shine. 

“will you marry me?”

“fucking― yes! yes, fuck, of course, always? fuck!” tyler fell to his knees and into their arms, kissing them deeply. the crowd explodes in support. fang and gabe come out from behind their instruments. “i’m so mad!” tyler says as jess swaps one of his rings for the one they got.

“why are you mad?” they ask, laughing.

“i was planning on asking you! you beat me to it! i had it all planned out, but you beat me!”

[amorremanet]

2, 10, 42, 47

asks for fanfic writers

well, no. 10 and no. 42 are over here, but!

2. things that motivate you

* The stereotype that autistic spectrum people are only good for STEM-related things. Like, for all of the folks on the spectrum who are good at STEM things, that’s great and I wish them all the best — but I suck at math and I can’t do anything science-related without turning it into, “how can I make a sociopolitical sci-fi critique out of this” or, “but do gay aliens believe in me,” so nah, I’m gonna pass on doing anything STEM-y.

I’d much rather give a big middle finger to everyone who has this ridiculous notion that autistic spectrum people are completely and utterly uncreative, and that we are only ever good for STEM things, and I’d like to do it by being successful in my chosen creative pursuits, please and thank you.

* Tangentially? Temple fucking Grandin. I don’t actually have any problems with her, herself — but I have a lot of problems with how allistic people hold her up as The One True Way To Be A Successful Person Who “Suffers From” Autism™ and how about fuck that, no. I want to be a successful autistic writer who is nothing like Temple Grandin, apart from both of us being white autistic women/dfab people who are going to be identified and treated as women by other people irl regardless of any wibbly wobbly messy gender feels on our part.

* Talking with people about my projects. On one hand, it’s a way of getting feelings kind of like validation. On the other, and way more importantly for me? I love getting feedback from people, or hearing the questions they come up with — like, on NYE, my aunt and I chatted back and forth about my novel while playing a weird card game with one of my cousins, and Aunt Kelly asked some questions that got me to put a few ideas I’ve been playing with into words more concretely, which was super-helpful — and I get a lot of motivation to work from getting jazzed up about things through talking with people.

* Totally a petty thing, but? Getting cranky with JK Rowling over all of the Good Ally Cookies she doesn’t actually deserve to claim, or all of the characters of hers who Deserved Better (lol, uh. today, my therapist learned that I get Upset about Percy Weasley very easily and about my longstanding hate-on for his parents, and bless her heart, when I went, “uh, I just over-identify with Percy Weasley a lot and there’s a good deal of projection going on here but I also don’t think I’m wrong,” she kinda smiled and nodded and went, “I can tell :)” — she’s great, I love her)

or how, even ignoring all of the #Problematic things about her body of work in the Potterverse, there’s SO MUCH GOOD SHIT in the HP series but she’s so clearly invested in the plot as she envisions it and the story she wants to tell for Harry, to the exclusion of all else, that she ends up completely short-changing basically every other character who is not named Severus Snape or Hermione Granger (most of the time, but not 100% of the time)

Like, I’ve said it before and I will say it until everyone is completely sick of me saying it, then I will continue saying it anyway: JKR views all of her characters — barring Harry, and sometimes Snape and Hermione — as plot devices more than she views them as characters.

She’s a bit better about some of them (Remus, Sirius but not as much as Remus, Ron and Luna but not as much as they deserve, Neville and Draco but not in the ways that they deserve)

but she’s really bullshit about most of them (this is not a complete list, but: Cho; Ginny; Cedric; Tonks; Fleur; Albus, Aberforth, and Ariana; Voldemort — not in that I need her to be sympathetic toward him but ffs, some 101-level consistency in his characterization would be nice; Kingsley; Percy; Wormtail; James; Lily;

Lockhart — “I’m not bitter about JKR’s ableism and victim-blaming with regard to Gildylocks,” I say bitterly, with a bitter expression, while hanging up informational posters about how bitter I am; Andromeda and Ted — deserved better, this is not a question or a debate, I want to say that it’s not even an opinion, but tbh, I know that it is, so hmph; Regulus; Barty Crouch Jr. because he is my Favorite and I can’t make this list without mentioning him;

Bellatrix — again, I don’t need her to sympathize with Bellatrix because how about no? but Bellatrix Black Lestrange is one of the shittiest villains I’ve ever read, in terms of HOW she was written, and I think a lot of the flaws in how JKR wrote her could have been remedied if she actually did anything to make Bellatrix a fully realized character, which would’ve made her a more effective and meaningful villain, and not a shrieking Saturday morning cartoon caricature;

Molly and Arthur — I’m not going into full detail about why I hate them today, you lot can just go read my tag on the subject if you want to know, and I don’t think that JKR’s “plot device first, people second” method of characterization is the only problem? But I think it’s a major contributing factor to The Problem Of Molly And Arthur, because she presents them as this image of Idyllic Domestic Perfection even when their actions and the internal fabric of the Weasley Family, don’t support that claim, and it sucks)

—basically, JK Rowling motivates me by fucking up a lot, because she was one of my idols as a kid and as a teenager, and she was a relevant and immediate source of inspiration because Oh My God You Can So Too Write Novels For A Living And Make A Difference In People’s Lives, and I’m not exaggerating when I say that she saved my life a few times, albeit mostly in indirect fashions…… but she fucks up a lot, and this is motivating for me because it makes me want to do better than her.

It’s not even exclusive to HP fic, either. Like, she’s one of my biggest sources of motivation to work on my novel and put thought and love and heart into making it the best that it can be — because I want to do better than her and even if I never have her kind of money (which lol, never gonna happen), I still want to beat her at something. Once I earn it, I will happily accept beating her at artistic integrity and commitment.

Is it petty? Yes, definitely. But hey, man, fish gotta swim, dogs gotta eat, and sometimes, I gotta think about my issues with JK Rowling to remember that I need to do better than her and motivate myself to do the work

* You know those, “do it for her/him” memes based on that one thing from The Simpsons that people make with their fave characters and/or celebs? Yeah, I kind of want to make one for myself with Oscar Wilde. Because there’s a lot about him that wasn’t ever perfect (he was a white guy in Victorian England, even accounting for his Anglo-Irishness, so…… yeah), and there are several points on which I don’t agree with him (like, for example: if you are such a shit to your wife that your boyfriend, who is so completely up his own ass that it’s a miracle he hasn’t found a way to Narnia, notices and calls you out on it? I’m kinda thinking that you might want to reassess how you treat people and stop being like that, bub)

—but I also want to be a fabulous gay Slytherclaw social satirist who uses that #aesthetic and the popular tropes of the day to do my own thing and redefine outside the box, and hey, if I ever get a, “wit and wisdom of…” book published with some of my coolest quotables in it? That would be an awesome bonus.

* “Okay, but seriously: how obvious can I be that Yael and Elizabeth are a big, ‘fuck you’ to Marvel about all of their queerbaiting with Charles and Erik before I can get sued for it? Because while Yael and Elizabeth are still characters in their own right, their original inspiration was, ‘hey, what if I flipped the bird to Marvel about all of their fucking queerbaiting with Charles and Erik, and did it with extra lesbians? that’s be pretty fucking cool,’ and I don’t want to be sued, but I also don’t want for my point to be missed here”

—or more generally, “I can’t die before I finish my novel, I have a lot of people to piss off and call on their crap through the magic of the written word *makes a sparkly rainbow with my hands like Spongebob going, ‘imaginaaaaaaaation!!! :D’*”

* So, there’s this one bit in Dry, Augusten Burroughs’ memoir about the early parts of his struggle with alcoholism and addiction. In his rehab, one of their assignments for group therapy is to write letters to people in their lives and feel their feelings about these relationships. He writes to Pighead, his best friend/“it’s complicated,” who is HIV-positive.

Reading the letter at group, Augusten finds himself crying, then shares the whole tangled-up backstory that he and Pighead have together, from how they first met on a phone-sex line, to how Augusten fell hard in love with him, to how they were friends with benefits and then he told Pighead that he was in love with him and Pighead plays the, “I love you but I’m not in love with you” card (that is verbatim what he says in the book, and the way Burroughs reads it in the audiobook kills me every single time), so Augusten dates other guys and tries to fall out of love with Pighead, only for Pighead to come see him first when his HIV test comes back positive and realize that he’s In Love with Augusten only, “after he became diagnosed with a fatal disease”

—which gives us the great line, “Part of me felt deep compassion. And another part felt like, You fucker.”

(Which is seriously one of my top ten lines in all literature, ever. tbh, it’s probably top five, but the top ten list would be hard enough to come up with to begin with, and I’d have to parcel things out into Poetry, Prose [possibly split into Fiction and Nonfiction, at that], and Dramatic Writing just to get it down to ten things on each list, and? It’s just a perfect line, oh my god)

At the end of it, Augusten has a moment with Kavi, another one of the patients at his rehab, who is addicted to cocaine and sex. Kavi tells him about how he left his lover who was HIV-positive after his diagnosis, so that he wouldn’t be the person getting left for once, and about how he feels like cocaine never leaves him. And we get: “Suddenly, I want to drink.… I don’t want to drink in a jovial ‘Highballs for everybody!’ way. I want to drink to the point where I could undergo major knee surgery and not feel so much as a pinch.”

I just.

There is so much about this section of the book that fucks me up so hard, but in ways that I love so much — and there’s a lot that I love about it for a lot of reasons, but like?

Speaking entirely with my writer hat on right now?

That part is just immaculately written. Every word is perfectly chosen, and they are strung together just right. Burroughs chooses the exact right images and scenes to characterize his and Pighead’s developing relationship, and his moment with Kavi, and it’s just

This part of the book makes me remember why I write. Because I have been reading and rereading this book since high school — I have had my battered up and taped together paperback copy with the yellowing pages since Easter 2005 — and this part STILL fucks me up, every. single. time. The audiobook version of it still fucks me up every. single. time.

Back in high school when I first read it, it hit me so hard because I had a habit of falling in love with girls who were straight and/or just did not like me back (and it would get worse, because the girl I was in love with who dared me to write D*rarry just to see if I could? Would go on to put me in the position of being her Girl Friday while I got to watch her love everybody but me, and praise the creative work of everybody but me, and go on about how two of her other friends were totally brilliant and misunderstood creative geniuses because they were incomprehensible and it was totally bourgeois for me to want to write to be understood but it was okay she knows I’m ~mainstream like that, but then still call on me — which made the whole Augusten/Pighead thing hurt so much more for me because I was kind of her, “I love you, but I’m not In Love with you”)

(I will say this about that relationship: I didn’t handle it well, either. I was petty and jealous, and waaaay more damagingly? I hadn’t yet grasped the idea that you sometimes have to just let people be messed up at you about the shit they’re going though without trying to fix everything for them, especially when there’s nothing that you can actually do to fix it. In retrospect, it’s kind of hilarious that I loaned her a copy of Perks of Being A Wallflower that I never saw again, because the whole idea that you can’t just constantly put someone else’s needs before your own and call it love, and the related concept that doing this is actually kind of a form of selfishness, in a way?

………yeah, that was VERY relevant to how I handled that relationship, and she rightfully called me on a lot of shit related to those ideas, and I spent a lot of time having an unfair chip on my shoulder because I was jealous on one hand, and indignant about how her other friends got to be Real Artists™ because their shit was incomprehensible but I got to be a Poser Artist™ because I wanted to be understood and not just fap around with some neo-Dadaist nonsense — and as seen here, I still do have a chip on my shoulder about Dadaist anything, but in fairness, I’d have that with or without any of this story because Dada is the worst — and I’m not saying that I was totally pure or innocent in anything here.

But at the time, I cried a lot over Augusten/Pighead feels because I felt that whole, “I love you but I’m not in love with you” situation and trying to fall out of love with someone only to crumble when they needed you and resent them for needing you but hate yourself for resenting them — I felt all of that so hard.)

My appreciation for this part of the book has evolved and changed over time, and it’s deepened — as I’ve learned more about LGBTIQ history, I’ve come to appreciate the context of the story more and gain more of a sense of reverence for the LGBTIQ people who came before me and actually fought through the early days of the HIV/AIDS epidemic, and it has changed how I read this part of the book more than anything else (c.f., my passive-aggressive addition of the REST of the quote to one post of the, ‘deep compassion vs. you fucker’ part because I was really annoyed with a bunch of straight people who were reblogging it without the full context and acting like they actually had any idea what it’s like to be gay and in a situation like Augusten is with Pighead here) — and I just

The biggest thing about this part of the book that’s made it stick around for me? is that no matter how I’ve appreciated it at any point, and no matter which parts of it have been the most important to me at any given moment, and no matter WHY it’s fucked me up — it’s still fucked me up so hard every. singled. fucking. time…… but in a way that has always made me feel a lot less alone in the world

It’s sort of similar to something that one of my fiction profs in undergrad once said about creating characters: we were talking, in one of our biweekly one-on-ones, about a story I’d brought in with one of my more off-putting characters (his name is Emerson, he’s an abrasive little shit who does a lot of very fucked up things and was kind of influenced by the Kurt/Karofsky plot back in season two of Glee because that was happening on TV at the time and I had a lot of feelings about it that I didn’t have any other way to deal with because I didn’t want to write Glee fic about all of it. He was more similar to Karofsky than Kurt)

I was convinced that everyone would hate him (not least because he an asshole to basically all of the other characters and assaulted the guy he had a crush on while he was high). Instead, he was actually really popular and one of my classmates, who I admired because her writing was so lyrical and confident and she was a great person, said that she found herself identifying with him, especially during some of his worst moments in that draft. While I was boggling about this, Professor Lucy said that one of the reasons why Emerson went over so gangbusters in workshop was that, instead of going the route of creating a tabula rasa character like Stephenie Meyer wrote Bella Swan to be, I’d given him so many clearly defined character traits and behaviors

According to Professor Lucy, the specificity is what makes it easier for people to identify with characters and feel for them, because it makes them more fully realized. (The, “according to” is just for the sake of attribution because this is a point that I’ve taken to heart and that I do totally agree with Professor Lucy about.) And I feel that a lot with the Augusten/Pighead part of the book because it’s so specific and it’s so grounded and it’s so REAL

And that’s a huge part of why it’s always gotten to me emotionally, and why it’s stuck with me after all this time, and why it’s consistently made me feel less alone and irreparably freakishly weird

Anyway, this got way longer than I intended to get, but the ability to affect someone so deeply with your work — that’s a responsibility that I take very seriously when it comes to writing, with regard to all different aspects of how you can possibly do this with the written word — and this part of Dry is such a source of motivation for me because it’s such a great example, for me, of How To Do An Emotionally Affecting Writer Thingy Well

I use technical language like this because I am such a Serious Business Writer, oh yes I am

47. how many unfinished ideas/stories are you working on at the same time?

I usually don’t count, because it’s usually a lot and not all of them are really guaranteed to ever be properly finished, oops.

[charlesjening]

Going Concern Presents: 2018 Going Concern Editor’s Picks

Ed. note: due to this thing called a holiday, we’re on an even lighter than usual posting schedule. Barring any breaking news, expect shitposts for the remainder of the week. Love, AG

It used to be tradition around these parts for Colin and I to gather round the virtual fireplacec come the end of the year and look back on our favorite posts. Really, the tradition started out of sheer laziness, in that our ownership expected us to create content through the holidays and he and I wanted something easy to write that wouldn’t require making unreturned phone calls to various Big 4 offices.

I’m not even sure if the tradition continued after I left a few years ago and frankly I don’t really care. Add to that, we don’t technically even have have an editor, at least in name, so really this is more like “Shit We Wrote This Year I Think Is Decent.” We good on that? Cool, let’s proceed.

#10: AICPA Says the CPA Exam is Intentionally Simple Because CPA Candidates Are Like Dogs Distracted by Shiny Things

Any opportunity for me to discuss buttplugs on a professional website is a good time as far as I’m concerned. The AICPA stating that CPA exam questions are intentionally “vanilla” was just such an opportunity. Oh, and maybe there was a little insight into how exam questions are born squeezed in there too just under the reference to being hogtied with a fox tail up your butt. Quality.

#9: Why You Can Kinda Blame President Trump and His Tax Cuts for Your Favorite NFL Team Sucking

Look, I hate Trump news as much if not more than anyone. It’s old, it’s tired, and frankly it’s too easy to make fun of. But Bramwell’s post in October really scored a touchdown (see what I did there) with all the things that make this website great-ish: sports, conjecture, and tangentially-related accounting items. Score.

#8: Let’s Cool It With All the ‘CPAs Should Run for Office Because Taxes’ Talk

This one lands on the list not necessarily for the post itself, which was fine, but for the comments (back before comments were closed forever and then opened again) suggesting that Caleb is just a money-happy liberal douchebag who is jealous because he’ll never run for office. Oh, and the guy who said he really just wants his job at KPMG back. Y’all are too much.

#7: EY Thinks It Will Hire Enough People in 2019 to Fill a Small College Football Stadium

Now, I’m no mathlete so sometimes concrete examples help when when I’m trying to think in numerical terms. Normally I rely on my fingers for this, but in this particular case Bramwell went all the way and did the math in a way we all can understand. It really helped imagine just how lofty EY’s goals are to picture a stadium full of bright-eyed accounting grads covered in black and yellow body paint. Even if that was an uncomfortable image.

#6: Rest Assured, Seekers of Illicit Love, Ernst & Young Has Your Back

We’re continually amazed by the expanded suite of services offered by Big 4 firms in the name of making money client service, but this one was a shocker even to our jaded selves. While you first years are in Nebraska next week counting widgets in cold warehouses, try not to get jealous that someone at EY was tasked with counting adulterers on Ashley Madison.

#5: An Open Letter to Anyone Thinking of Asking the Accountant in Their Life for Help on a Tax Return Y’all can do my taxes, right?

#4: Butthurt Dudes Say They’re Reporting Sexy Snapchats to the IRS

Speaking of taxes, one of my favorite stories of the year happened just recently, when a group of patriots took on e-thots to make sure they’re doing their American duty to the Internal Revenue Service.

#3: Deloitte CEO Cathy Engelbert Is Still Talking About Her Teenage Son’s Fear of Robots

OK this robot shit is out of hand, but it’s even worse when a Big 4 CEO humiliates her teenage kid by telling the world that he’s afraid he’ll end up a greasy, unemployed neckbeard living in her basement because robots will take the job he doesn’t even have yet. Settle down, dude, it’ll be OK. And please, Cathy, enough with the oversharing.

#2: We Need to Talk About This Fleece Vest Situation, You Guys

It’s funny because for the last few years, I haven’t knowingly been in the same room as a CPA for a couple years at least. Back in the day, I could often be found roaming Washington conference rooms nametag and all, but obviously I haven’t been to an accounting conference since this piece of crap website fired me. Anyway, somehow I knew the fleece vest situation was a problem, and I was right. It’s cool, it’s a good look.

#1: Thanks, This Has Been Fun

Caleb’s final post as a Going Concern regular is on this list because let’s be real, it was time for the guy to move on. Nine years is a LONG time and take it from me, this shit can wear on you. I thought he did a good job saying goodbye, although I was surprised he managed to need so many words to do it. It earns the number one spot because it was the most overdue post of the year. Where is he anyway? I thought he promised he’d stick around as Editor-at-Large. That lying bastard.

And that’s it. It has been a great year, at least for the five or so months since I’ve been back. We were able to convince TPTB to bring back comments, no one had to get banned for throwing around racial slurs, and we had plenty to talk about. If you think my list is bullshit, please feel free to say but be nice, it’s Christmas an all.

The post Going Concern Presents: 2018 Going Concern Editor’s Picks appeared first on Going Concern.

republished from Going Concern

[ashleydpalmerusa]

Going Concern Presents: 2018 Going Concern Editor’s Picks

Ed. note: due to this thing called a holiday, we’re on an even lighter than usual posting schedule. Barring any breaking news, expect shitposts for the remainder of the week. Love, AG

It used to be tradition around these parts for Colin and I to gather round the virtual fireplacec come the end of the year and look back on our favorite posts. Really, the tradition started out of sheer laziness, in that our ownership expected us to create content through the holidays and he and I wanted something easy to write that wouldn’t require making unreturned phone calls to various Big 4 offices.

I’m not even sure if the tradition continued after I left a few years ago and frankly I don’t really care. Add to that, we don’t technically even have have an editor, at least in name, so really this is more like “Shit We Wrote This Year I Think Is Decent.” We good on that? Cool, let’s proceed.

#10: AICPA Says the CPA Exam is Intentionally Simple Because CPA Candidates Are Like Dogs Distracted by Shiny Things

Any opportunity for me to discuss buttplugs on a professional website is a good time as far as I’m concerned. The AICPA stating that CPA exam questions are intentionally “vanilla” was just such an opportunity. Oh, and maybe there was a little insight into how exam questions are born squeezed in there too just under the reference to being hogtied with a fox tail up your butt. Quality.

#9: Why You Can Kinda Blame President Trump and His Tax Cuts for Your Favorite NFL Team Sucking

Look, I hate Trump news as much if not more than anyone. It’s old, it’s tired, and frankly it’s too easy to make fun of. But Bramwell’s post in October really scored a touchdown (see what I did there) with all the things that make this website great-ish: sports, conjecture, and tangentially-related accounting items. Score.

#8: Let’s Cool It With All the ‘CPAs Should Run for Office Because Taxes’ Talk

This one lands on the list not necessarily for the post itself, which was fine, but for the comments (back before comments were closed forever and then opened again) suggesting that Caleb is just a money-happy liberal douchebag who is jealous because he’ll never run for office. Oh, and the guy who said he really just wants his job at KPMG back. Y’all are too much.

#7: EY Thinks It Will Hire Enough People in 2019 to Fill a Small College Football Stadium

Now, I’m no mathlete so sometimes concrete examples help when when I’m trying to think in numerical terms. Normally I rely on my fingers for this, but in this particular case Bramwell went all the way and did the math in a way we all can understand. It really helped imagine just how lofty EY’s goals are to picture a stadium full of bright-eyed accounting grads covered in black and yellow body paint. Even if that was an uncomfortable image.

#6: Rest Assured, Seekers of Illicit Love, Ernst & Young Has Your Back

We’re continually amazed by the expanded suite of services offered by Big 4 firms in the name of making money client service, but this one was a shocker even to our jaded selves. While you first years are in Nebraska next week counting widgets in cold warehouses, try not to get jealous that someone at EY was tasked with counting adulterers on Ashley Madison.

#5: An Open Letter to Anyone Thinking of Asking the Accountant in Their Life for Help on a Tax Return Y’all can do my taxes, right?

#4: Butthurt Dudes Say They’re Reporting Sexy Snapchats to the IRS

Speaking of taxes, one of my favorite stories of the year happened just recently, when a group of patriots took on e-thots to make sure they’re doing their American duty to the Internal Revenue Service.

#3: Deloitte CEO Cathy Engelbert Is Still Talking About Her Teenage Son’s Fear of Robots

OK this robot shit is out of hand, but it’s even worse when a Big 4 CEO humiliates her teenage kid by telling the world that he’s afraid he’ll end up a greasy, unemployed neckbeard living in her basement because robots will take the job he doesn’t even have yet. Settle down, dude, it’ll be OK. And please, Cathy, enough with the oversharing.

#2: We Need to Talk About This Fleece Vest Situation, You Guys

It’s funny because for the last few years, I haven’t knowingly been in the same room as a CPA for a couple years at least. Back in the day, I could often be found roaming Washington conference rooms nametag and all, but obviously I haven’t been to an accounting conference since this piece of crap website fired me. Anyway, somehow I knew the fleece vest situation was a problem, and I was right. It’s cool, it’s a good look.

#1: Thanks, This Has Been Fun

Caleb’s final post as a Going Concern regular is on this list because let’s be real, it was time for the guy to move on. Nine years is a LONG time and take it from me, this shit can wear on you. I thought he did a good job saying goodbye, although I was surprised he managed to need so many words to do it. It earns the number one spot because it was the most overdue post of the year. Where is he anyway? I thought he promised he’d stick around as Editor-at-Large. That lying bastard.

And that’s it. It has been a great year, at least for the five or so months since I’ve been back. We were able to convince TPTB to bring back comments, no one had to get banned for throwing around racial slurs, and we had plenty to talk about. If you think my list is bullshit, please feel free to say but be nice, it’s Christmas an all.

The post Going Concern Presents: 2018 Going Concern Editor’s Picks appeared first on Going Concern.

from Accounting News https://goingconcern.com/going-concern-presents-2018-going-concern-editors-picks/

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Killing Eve rewatch: "I'll Deal With Him Later"

Of course, Eve remains as tangentially relatable as ever during her meeting with Carolyn: from the five seconds of awkward stuttering that seem to last five minutes because secondhand embarrassment is a REAL problem, to the point at which she explodes in her learned polite, British manner, Eve's frustration leaps off the screen and demands attention. I have to wonder how many times she's tried explaining this theory of hers to Niko, or to Bill and Elena, and how many times they'd tell her she was insane and grasping at straws. For once, someone is listening to her, believes her, and isn't calling her crazy. The line, "It's like I've stepped into my brain!" is massively important for both Eve and the audience. It shows Eve's intelligence and tenacity with these cases, but it also gives her a sense of agency and validates the extra secret work she'd put in at MI-5 that's now paying off. (Side note: God bless Phoebe Waller-Bridge for casting Fiona Shaw as Carolyn, because that line about the rat drinking from the can of Coke is so absurdly funny due to her deadpan delivery of it, and I'm not sure any other actress would've been able to do that line justice.) That whole scene is also a massive turning point, because Eve is finally allowed to investigate what she wants to, and she's got no boundaries or dickswab superiors telling her she can't.

I think one of the most endearing things about Villanelle is her sense of humor and the deadpan delivery of some of her answers. The exchange with Konstantin about the bruise on her eye is undeniably funny, but it's interesting that a hardened assassin uses humor to deflect any possible kernel of truth, even with someone she's so familiar with. The assessment scene is wickedly funny, too, in true Villanelle fashion. The line about the photo of the hanged man having "good legs" should not be funny, but somehow it is. Villanelle subverts all expectations, laughing at and making light of things that "ordinary" people should not—but don't we all know someone like that, who laughs at awfully morbid things? Who uses humor as a mask for their true feelings? (I personally use dark humor constantly to cover the trauma I experienced in the past, which may be informing my feelings toward the assessment scene, but I digress.) The appeal of using dark humor in stressful situations is a sense of control that I think most of us crave. It's a control that Villanelle certainly has—until Konstantin makes Jerome ask her about Anna and shows her the sketch of the woman. For me, there are two possibilities here: either she's lying and the woman is Anna, or she's lying and it is actually her mother.

Either would make sense, honestly. It's very easy to lie and bite out the first denial that comes to mind, even if it's just a direct reversal of what the other person said. At this point, the audience doesn't know who Anna is, but we can assume she was someone important to Villanelle, or she wouldn't have had such a hard time getting back to using humor to control the situation. I personally think Villanelle was, for once, being genuine when she said the woman was supposed to be her mother. It could make sense, given the fact that she keeps staring at older women with dark hair. It could be an unfulfilled maternal fantasy, or I could just be talking out of my ass and she was actually joking about it being her mom. Also, we don't know how long Konstantin had that sketch in his possession for, so it's unlikely the woman in the sketch is Eve. On the off-chance it is actually Eve (or Random London Hospital Woman, from Villanelle's pov), maybe Villanelle sketched it because her hair reminded her of Anna's. But who knows? That scene is still kind of ambiguous to me.

After the assessment when she hugs Konstantin, I sensed a bit of a disconnect. The hug looked inorganic, forced, and like it was a spur-of-the-moment thing she remembered that people do sometimes. This is definitely coming from beyond the constraints of just this episode, but I'd be willing to bet she's never hugged anyone without an ulterior motive. Ever. Call me crazy but Villanelle just doesn't seem like a hugger. Someone pointed out to me that Villanelle is very similar to an AI, a comparison I hate (because robots terrify me lol) but one that makes sense. She has no moral compass or ethical code, she's an efficient killing machine and, most interestingly, she mimics other people's behavior to fit in. I truly think she has no idea how to be a "normal" human, which explains the smiling battle with the little girl on the ice cream shop from episode one, the awkward way she hugs Konstantin, and then mimicking the laughter she hears on the radio when she's out with Sebastian.

Oh, Sebastian. Adorable, sweet, sensitive Sebastian. I actually was rooting for him to stay alive, but…well, we see how long that lasted. While the sex scene didn't come as a shock to me at all, the logistics of it were weirdly refreshing. For once, the woman was on top, in total control, and the man was begging for mercy. For once, the man was being used as a sexual object for the woman's gratification. I found myself audibly "aww-ing" for the fifth fucking time because I'm a sap when Sebastian assured Villanelle he'd never hurt her, while her hand was around his throat. Never one for sentimentality, Villanelle's cold, vacant eyes and flat affect tacitly told us all we needed to know: "This was fun, but I don't believe you. And I'm not going to let you get close enough to find out if you're lying."

The subtle recognition in Eve's eyes in the bathroom speaks to the nuance of Sandra Oh's acting. It's clearly just a passing remembrance, because I'm fairly certain the traumatic memory of walking into witness the carnage in that hospital room would outweigh a nurse in a bathroom, but for some reason the encounter stood out to Eve. She's almost constantly fiddling with her luxurious mane, and probably spends most of her time trying to keep it out of her face. And then a random beautiful young woman stares at her for a little too long, then tells her to "Wear it down," which may have been the first time anyone's ever told her that.

THE KILL: It might sound demented, but I think this one is my favorite. Villanelle is a master manipulator and knows exactly what to say to get Carla to smell her perfume. Not to mention all the preparation that went into that kill? Mixing that toxic perfume, having the correct outfit and wig, the "three weeks of catering training" she supposedly did, and the tampon in her pocket as an excuse to get to her target? She really thinks of everything when it comes to her job, and that's a determination I can support! (Well, mostly, I mean she is killing people…) But then there's the utter fascination in her eyes as she watches Madame De Mann die, slowly and excruciatingly. And then, of course, Villanelle makes it laugh-out-loud funny by grabbing the woman's hand and waving goodbye with it, once again using dark humor even though she's had control of the situation the whole time.

Yet again, Sebastian's the sweetest guy who didn't deserve what happened to him. He's not an idiot, of course he didn't believe that Konstantin was her brother. Not to mention he literally walked in on him choking her against the wall? His willingness to protect Villanelle (AKA "Julie") is adorable and noble, but it was his curiosity and desire to support her in her perfume business that got him in the end, poor guy. Also, Konstantin's lazy, half-assed "I'm her brother" never fails to crack me up, along with Villanelle's "Dealt with" when they find Sebastian's body. PWB's writing and Jodie Comer's delivery are the perfect match, I swear.

The final scene of both leading ladies trying to research the other has to be one of my favorites of the series. In a way, it's a little like the moment in You've Got Mail when Tom Hanks realizes the perpetual thorn in his side is the woman he's in love with—but Meg Ryan's still in the dark for the rest of the movie. The instant oh shit look on Villanelle's face is priceless. She's relaxing in bed after a glass of champagne, googling Eve's name to see what comes up, and then…it's her. She probably never thought she'd see Hospital Bathroom Woman again, but there she is! On her screen, and leading a department just for her; the cocky grin she had when Konstantin first told her is nowhere to be found. On Eve's end, she's poring over every photo of every nurse at that hospital; it's late, she should be home in bed, but she can't sleep until she finds a photo of the woman. When she doesn't, it finally connects: "I think I've met her."

Random observations:

-During the assessment, Villanelle speaks of her mother in the present tense: "I'm joking. My mother has really thin, shitty hair." To me, that line indicated that her mother's alive. (Because I've seen this show in its entirety four times already, this will definitely come up again later but for now it's just something to keep in mind)

-Frank's still a dickswab. God I can't wait until I get to watch him get murdered again

-Why national anthems? Of all the genres of music she could have thrown out, why that one? She was born in a post-Soviet Russia, so the anthem's been toned down a bit; also, Konstantin told Jerome that she doesn't speak Russian anymore, indicating a disconnect from her homeland. But the French national anthem? That makes a little more sense for Villanelle to like. It's defiant, it's triumphant, and damn it's violent. But just because you like one country's national anthem doesn't mean you like them all, and most of the rest of them are boring "I love my country" rhetoric that are sorely lacking the mentions of bloodshed that the French have. She's just a constant surprise, I guess lol

-Sebastian's got a dressform in his apartment, which I think is cool because hey, he did actually make his trousers like he said.

-Villanelle eats on screen, which is so refreshing for a female character. And they're not like important meals, it's snacking and eating junk food like real people do. (Yeah, the bar for women acting like humans on screen is that low)

-Who would I be if I didn't mention that infamous champagne cork pop?! The placement of the bottle right between Jodie's legs, and the fact that it explodes right after Villanelle says Eve's name? Iconic. There had to have been some deity that blessed that take because…wow, it was perfect. And totally unexpected and unscripted, as Jodie confirmed on twitter.

-Even in the photo Villanelle finds of her, Eve's got her hand in her hair, messing with it as usual. Maybe it's a manifestation of Eve's insecurities, either about her appearance (for which there is no reason, have you seen Sandra Oh?) or about herself generally.

-If you pause the screen while Villanelle's googling, some of the search results are hilarious!

The first one (from the not at all made up website 'powbangsmash.tv') advertises "Horrific Wrestling Accidents" featuring Polastri Pulverizer, which is just so random, even for a fake google search.

The second is about Niko who, apparently, tutors people in the world's most boring card game AND was the national champion in 1998, because of course Niko's really really good at really really mundane things.

The third mentions the origins of the Polastri family line which: "BEGAN IN THE 1880S WITH ERIC POLASTRI, WHO HAD THREE WIVES EACH NAMED JANE" which is just bizarre

The fourth one, my favorite, is a One Direction Fan Fiction called "A Hallow's Eve in the wrong direction" from the site 'fanfictionsandhomemadetales.org' which, sadly, doesn't actually exist. (Yes I did look that one up)

The last one is about a house fire and how the dad saved the family's puppy, named Eve. Pets with human names will never not be funny to me, and Eve is just so odd-sounding for an animal.