#i really hope so i need to hold myself to it

[rose24207]

No, you’re not

Summary: You and Lando have been inseparable since childhood, both secretly in love with each other but too afraid to confess—he believes you deserve better than him, and you think his flings mean he could never see you that way, leaving your feelings tangled in unspoken fears of ruining your lifelong friendship.

Genre: angst, fluff

TW: None!

A/N: wow this is a long request! Thank you!! I really hope it’s like how you wanted it! English is not my first language. I hope you enjoy it though! Requests are open and welcome!

Based of this request

Masterlist

The Brazil Grand Prix had always been one of Lando’s toughest races. The circuit wasn’t just a test of his skill; it was a mental and physical marathon. This year was no different. After a grueling 71 laps that left him finishing far from where he wanted to be, he was wrung out, mentally frayed, and questioning every decision he’d made during the weekend. The lack of sleep afterward didn’t help, and by the time he boarded the flight back to Monaco, he was barely holding himself together.

All he wanted was to get home and shut the world out. No cameras, no engineers pointing out his mistakes, no fans bombarding him with well-meaning but exhausting messages. Just silence.

Except, as soon as he opened his front door, he realized he wasn’t going to be alone.

The lights in the living room were dim, but the faint glow of the TV illuminated the familiar figure curled up on his couch. You.

Lando’s heart squeezed at the sight of you, a feeling so achingly familiar it was almost painful. You were his best friend—the one constant in his life, the one person who saw him as just Lando, not a Formula 1 driver, not a public figure, just the boy you’d grown up with.

But that was the problem, wasn’t it? You were his best friend. The girl he’d been in love with since he was sixteen. The girl who deserved better than someone like him.

You looked up when the door clicked shut, your eyes immediately finding his in the dim light. “Finally,” you said, your voice soft but teasing. “I was starting to think you’d sleep at the airport.”

Lando let out a breathless laugh, dropping his bag by the door. “Not sure I’d get much sleep there either.” He leaned against the wall, exhaustion radiating off him in waves. “What are you doing here?”

“Waiting for you,” you said simply, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “I figured you’d be in a mood, so I let myself in.” You gestured to the half-empty bowl of soup on the coffee table. “I also raided your fridge. You really need to go grocery shopping.”

Lando shook his head, a ghost of a smile tugging at his lips. “How’d you even get here?”

“I have a key, remember?” you said with a smirk. “And I used that thing called a car. Revolutionary, really.”

He rolled his eyes, but the warmth in his chest spread. You were always like this—casual, unbothered, always knowing exactly what he needed before he even realized it himself.

You stood and crossed the room, your smile fading as you got a closer look at him. “You look terrible,” you said, your voice dropping into that soft, concerned tone that always made his chest tighten.

“Thanks,” he muttered.

“I mean it,” you said, tugging gently on the sleeve of his hoodie as if inspecting him. “You look like you haven’t slept in days.”

“That’s because I haven’t,” he admitted.

You frowned, your eyes narrowing. “Lando...”

“I’m fine,” he said quickly, though the hoarseness of his voice betrayed him.

“No, you’re not.” You grabbed his hand and pulled him toward the couch. He let you, too tired to argue. “Sit. You need to eat something, drink something, and then sleep for about a year.”

He dropped onto the couch with a groan, sinking into the cushions. You draped a blanket over him before disappearing into the kitchen. He could hear you rummaging around, the sound of a kettle boiling, the clink of a spoon against a mug.

When you returned, you handed him a steaming cup of tea. “Drink,” you ordered, sitting beside him.

He took the cup and cradled it in his hands, the warmth seeping into his skin. He stared at the liquid for a moment before taking a small sip. It burned his tongue, but he didn’t care.

“You don’t have to do this,” he said quietly, not meeting your eyes.

“Do what?”

“Take care of me.”

You snorted. “Someone has to. God knows you’re useless at it.”

He looked up at you then, and the small smile on your face made his chest ache. “I mean it,” he said, his voice low. “You don’t have to... be here. I’ll be fine.”

You frowned, your brow furrowing in that way it always did when you were worried about him. “Of course I do,” you said softly. “You’re my best friend, Lando. Where else would I be?”

That was the problem, wasn’t it? You were always there. Always caring, always looking out for him, always steady and dependable. And he was... what? A mess. A guy who jumped from fling to fling, trying—and failing—to get you out of his head.

He knew what you thought of him. You’d never said it outright, but he could see it in the way you’d roll your eyes whenever you saw another headline about him with some random girl. You thought he wasn’t serious. That he couldn’t be serious. And maybe you were right. Maybe he wasn’t capable of being the kind of man you deserved.

“How was the race?” you asked, breaking the silence.

“Bad,” he said simply.

“You want to talk about it?”

He shook his head, letting his head fall back against the couch. “Not really.”

You nodded, not pushing him. Instead, you shifted closer, your shoulder brushing against his. He felt your warmth seep into him, and for a moment, he let himself relax.

“Did you eat?” you asked after a while.

“Not really.”

You sighed and stood. “Stay here. I’ll heat up the rest of the soup.”

He watched as you disappeared into the kitchen, his chest tightening with every step you took. You were too good to him. Too good for him.

By the time you came back, holding a bowl of steaming soup, he’d convinced himself to push his feelings down again, to keep them buried where they couldn’t hurt you.

“Here,” you said, handing him the bowl. “Eat.”

He took the bowl and set it on his lap, picking up the spoon. “Thanks.”

You sat beside him again, watching as he ate in silence.

“You don’t have to babysit me, you know,” he said after a while, his voice quiet.

“I’m not babysitting you,” you said with a shrug. “I’m being a good friend.”

He huffed a laugh. “Yeah, well, you’re too good at it.”

You smiled, but there was a hint of sadness in your eyes that he couldn’t quite place.

For a moment, neither of you said anything. The only sounds were the clink of his spoon against the bowl and the faint hum of the TV.

“Lando,” you said softly, breaking the silence.

He looked up at you, his heart skipping a beat at the way you were looking at him—like you could see right through him.

“You don’t have to do this alone,” you said. “Whatever’s going on in your head... you don’t have to carry it by yourself.”

His throat tightened, and for a moment, he couldn’t speak. You always knew exactly what to say, exactly how to pull him back from the edge.

“I know,” he said finally, his voice barely above a whisper. “Thanks.”

You nodded, your eyes never leaving his.

And in that moment, he realized that no matter how much he tried to push you away, no matter how much he convinced himself that he didn’t deserve you, you would always be there.

And that terrified him more than anything.

Thank you for reading!

[claypigeonpottery]

there isn’t an emoji that quite captures how I’m feeling rn lol, but it’s a relief-stress-delight-panic sort of feeling

I was able to load the bisque kiln tonight! because no one told me I would be able to do that until I arrived at the studio, I didn’t bring in all of my bone dry pottery so I have to finish loading tomorrow morning.

I’m so relieved that glazing can happen before @subpar-lemon-bar starts a long stretch of work. it’ll make a huge difference to have him there with me, he’s such a big help. (plus morale will be higher if we’re together lol)

I’m super stressed for kiln time. I had one accident and a little dude lost a foot, but I put it back on with paper clay and it’s holding so far! 🤞🏼

I’m delighted to be able to glaze fire on the 12th like I’d planned. I had been so unhappy with the change in scheduled kiln time

I’m panicking slightly because I filled the biggest kiln almost entirely by myself and that means I might need two glaze firings to get everything finished 😬 in the bisque firing, you can stack things, but in the glaze kiln, nothing can touch, so it takes up more space

that’ll be so much worrrrrk

I really hope it all fits tomorrow

here’s some pictures from the first couple shelves

[eobe]

You are reborn into the Star Wars universe, in a time, place, and family of your choosing. You retain all of your knowledge of canon events, and could change their outcome if you so chose. What do you do?

an unforeseen writing escalation. If you‘ve been tagged and don’t want to read – ignore 😂🫶

Oh kriff, what did I do to deserve that.

That’s what I asked myself, CT-1618, since I got fragment by fragment of the memories of my former life on a strange planet in a galaxy that far away, that my soul travelled not only through space, but also through time.

And Maker, this is kark. If I don‘t want to be decommissioned by first chance, I had to keep my mouth shut and my head down. If I had to speak, then well-considered. The silent, broody cadet with the ongoing frown and the crossed arms, that was me.

I almost enjoyed everyone getting calm and my clone brothers‘ full attention when I finally had something to say. So time came to use that for a greater good.

Down in the barracks after curfew I hesitated over-notable to make my batch vode curious and then I started cautiously asking them what they think about „The Mission“ – the one of our nightmares.

Either I had luck or it was easier than I thought to get them started to think individually. I recognized my chance to change things with patience, if I manage to spread some tiny well placed seeds without getting caught – and to get some tiny well placed stones into rolling.

Even as a single clone trooper I could try to find evidence. I only needed skills to get my chance, so I specialized on coding and data decryption and also spread cautiously word about my interests and achievements to get support from my superiors. It worked – I got qualified for ARC training.

I also noticed the rumor about „The Mission“ being not only a strange clone thing but something possibly dangerous made the round, also some more triggers I set, like that we‘re more than just numbers.

I asked my trusted vode to tell me if they heard news about the rumors other clones maybe whispering behind hands about things I started. I always had only one back question: „Did they mention me?“ Luckily never. My brothers mocked me being that nervous. „Vod, calm down. Source unknown as always.“

I felt a little hope the first time a stranger clone in the 79s chatted with me and after some time and drinks he hesitated with a calculating glance and asked with lowered voice what I think of those rumors about „The Mission“ – that one from our nightmares. I couldn’t hold back a small chuckle but answered well-considered as usual.

I collected and encrypted every data I could find, also tracking the reports of the 501st to stay tuned. Did little hacking attacks and got better. Being a silent and specialized ARC trooper in the 41st Elite Corps allowed me to broaden my network, but my connections and attempts to get through the security walls of Serenno for the chips‘ data went dangerously wrong.

My closest vode shivered with me as we heard talking our superiors about Serenno being cyber attacked – from our position. Kark, the seppies seem to have a new specialist.

„Do we know the source?“ My batch brother Forest asked – perfectly hiding that he knows the source better than he liked in this moment.

They didn‘t find the source. But I found something.

__

„Name and number, trooper!“

Done. The day and the moment had come and I was absolutely done, but I might have now the tiniest and silliest chance to change a really big event in the timeline!

I had lurked in the 79s, looking for some blue markings on armor to grab myself some key figures, but I had to run into the Marshal Commander of Coruscant himself. Literally.

And spilled his caf all over his spotless armor.

Kriff, maybe I was only done, but I have to try my luck for the sake of the whole karking galaxy.

„ARC-1618! Name‘s Source, Sir and I‘m incredibly sorry, Sir…“ I rambled? knowing that not only my own poor life depends on.

The first time in my life I babbled like the most talkative brother of my Squad (named Text, no kidding) and it was important to do so and to make it right – I had a plan that requires proper acting.

I had absolutely no problem to show my sweating nervousness and shrinked under the seething glare of the elder clone and finally sweared, that I‘ll spend him a caf every time when I see him – Pause for effect and dramatic gasp (for this one I imagined my big brother Voice the one time the bulky clone actually got unsettled) – then I widened my eyes like in shock, like realizing what I just said and I froze my body like prey that got caught and hoped that I just had managed my masterpiece.

And Dank Farrik, it worked. I knew that I had won in the very moment that I saw a slightly mad glint lighten up in the furious eyes of Coruscant‘s head and an actually scary grin showing the canine teeth, all the older and greying Commanders seem to share.

My heart and my brain were racing on my way to order the maybe most important caf in the whole galaxy and as I sat down at the table with the waiting Commander, who tried to hide his amusement I had the feeling that I truly got a chance now.

So I started to track the schedules and reports of the Coruscant Guard and „stumbled“ over Commander Fox as often as possible, without making the tired but sly man suspicious. We fastly got into really good caf talks and so one day I dared my luck, making the older clone curious with showing in a matter of fact truly undecided and hesitating.

l leaned a bit over the table, shooting a short look left and right and asked with lowered voice „Sir… may I ask you a question? I heared rumors and maybe the Marshal Commander is able to clear that.“

Fox raised an eyebrow with an asking glance.

I took a deep breath.

„What do you think about… The Mission? You know, the one of our nightmares.“

Great, I escalated 🙈 Thank you for the inspiration, dearest Anon. I‘m not a writer, I have a writing blockade for more than half of my life, but suddenly one of my unintroduced OCs took over… 🤷🏽‍♀️

Yeah, I hope you have fun with a non-mother tongue, non beta-read, non-writer‘s spontaneous writing 😂🫶

@foxwithadarkside Look, who‘s gone AWOL 😁

@crosshairs-dumb-pimp-gf Does this count for an OC showcase?

Chaos Squad, you might recognize some names 😎 @lonewolflupe @wings-and-beskargam @ghostymarni

Taglist, I apologize for my attempt to override my current art blockade with a pathetic try to draw something with words: @eclec-tech @bixlasagna @returnofthepineapple @sunshinesdaydream @covert1ntrovert @general-ida-raven @vrycurious @dystopicjumpsuit @chaicilatte @groguandthebadbatch @ladylucksrogue @spaceyjessa @morerandombullshit @freesia-writes

[comikbook]

Hi! I absolutely LOVE the most recent painting you're working on! The composition is incredible and the colors are everything to me 🫶🫶 I absolutely love the way you draw faces like the piercings help map it out without showing too much and just !!! It's so good 🔥🔥🔥🔥 I was wondering if you would be willing to explain some of the symbolism behind it? Like the bleeding mouth, the house, or the dog? If it's a personal thing and you don't want to share, no worries!!

absolutely !!! this one is a little bit different story wise than some of my others but ill do my best to explain

this is the piece for those who dont know !

so lets start, why the armor and the sword ? well !

i wanted to do a piece referencing joan of arc. as someone who also has had the experience of hearing god talk to them/feeling like a messenger of god due to schizophrenia i have always felt a kinship with her. so i wanted to do a piece inspired by this iconic painting. that also goes into the composition.

however, that nod is the extent of that reference.

what about the house ? well, that is my childhood home.

here it is :,) the one with the bird over the door is the house i consider my childhood home. i no longer live here of course, the neighborhood got a lot more dangerous, abandoned, and not taken care of, i live in a city with a lot of violence, particularly gun violence and gang activity as well as heroin and fent being popular on the streets. there are houses in this neughborhood that have been destroyed by fire and were never fixed, most houses had infestation of roaches rats or mice, occassionally bedbugs. it wasnt a great neighborhood before, but its gotten worse over the years. despite that i hold some of my fondest memories here. i think its beautiful in a way, and i felt safer there than anywhere else.

the house represents my past, the blood trail leading from the door to the figure, who is me, after having slain some beast inside. this is representative of moving on, of leaving your childhood behind. It also represents the violence of where i live, and the horrid memories experienced by my father who lived there growing up as well. it was his home, but he inherited it from his mother. while that house was a safe haven for me, it was a bitter memory of horrific events for him. it was bittersweet to leave. for him, he was moving past that, for me, i was desperately trying to hold on. it was a needed sacrifice, which goes back to the blood.

the dog is a character in my work that represents god. he is omnipresent, always observing. he watched me kill a part of myself, that held on to memories i loved, and forced to move on. he watched this attack, and did not intervene. Perhaps I blame him for this, my relationship with god is not a good one, but that is the symbolism nonetheless.

lastly, there is the blood around the mouth, insinuating the beast inside had been consumed. I have killed it yes, but it stays with me. I consumed its flesh and it is now with me forever, even if it is gone. We are still one, me and the memories i shared there, even if separated by life and death.

this was a really long post, but i hope you find this explination interesting :,) !

[pretty-noose]

Have a few ideas for micro/short fiction let’s see if I can actually end up writing them

[tyttetardis]

Finally managed to record a bit of David at curtain call 😍

Brilliant seeing this incredible production once again - and getting to see what's different and what isn't 🥹🥰

(Please don't repost ☺️)

[remyfire]

I work with somebody about once a week who is so fascinating to me, especially when they are at our first desk. When someone walks in, they do not so much as smile or look at them, much less greet them. When someone leaves, they don't do anything either. If someone says, "Thank you," they say, "Sure," and if someone says, "Have a good one," they say, "Sure."

Listen. I don't know if it's because I was born and raised in the South for over three decades or because I was the front-facing customer-service-driven person at my previous jobs for a grand total of eight years. But I wince and get a little flappy anxious every time. What do you mean, you're not greeting people warmly so they're smiling as soon as they come through the door? What do you mean, you don't thank them for coming, wish them a good day, and bid them farewell? What do you mean, you just don't interact with the public unless forced, even in our front-facing job?

I think the amiable Southern politeness is just too engrained in me. There is no getting rid of it. And I'm kind of hoping that eventually I can work my way up to having more shifts at our first desk instead of our second because it's a lot weirder to gently greet someone from a distance when the employee closest to them is not paying them a single bit of mind.

[kindred-spirit-93]

AIGHT THE REVIEWS ARE IN

imeda i love you this fic has bewitched me body and soul i legit am no longer able to can neo is whats keeping me sane atp thank u for making this i will never ever recover (wrote this as i was reading lol)

-

I MADE A MEME LMAO

odysseus what the fuck dude. step the fuck up. what the fuck >:[

--

“I would rather my son fade into obscurity than live a life like yours, rotten and vicious, remembered for nothing but the lives you took and the agony you caused." BITCH WHO DID THAT??? WHO??

"You’ll be remembered as Achilles’ son, who fought for less than him and destroyed everything he touched.” OH NO HE FUCKING DIDNT

the line neo spits to ody abt tele being the opposite of him bc he was untouched for 20 years fucked me up i hope ur happy

--

first telemachus appearance whoop whoop *bites him cutely*

also neo being absolutely whipped FROM HIS VOICE ALONE (he called him pretty 3 seconds ago but whatever) SENT ME LMAO

obligatory agamemnon slander lol. also i adore the post odyssey setting its genius its brilliant its everything i ever wanted in life and more. also odypen giggling over war plans has no right being this funny to me

HE CALLED HIM BEAUTIFUL HOLY SHIT *explodes*

squeaking like a fruit bat over here lmao my heart

"... acquainted" my ass neo (i love u). GET HIS ASS TELE AHAHAHHAH god i want to draw them so horrifically bad

THEYRE HOLDING HANDS. OH MY GOD THEYRE HOLDING HANDS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. theyre married ur honour

imeda i had no idea neo was this fucking down bad for tele this is the funniest thing ive ever seen in my life neo is so angsty and brooding the whole time (and rightfully so lol) and then tele looks at him and hes like damn i no longer want to disembowel myself with the dagger (engraved with his faveourite flower/ plant) he gifted me

HNBHGNBHJMNBHJNHNHJMNH HE SAID THE F WORD (FRIEND)

lmao dinner with the in laws! odysseus get rekt

i need neo and deidamia shenanigans i think theyre both menaces.

LMAO NEO MY BABY I CANT. his dates training sessions with tele are purely to train him as the biggest fuck u to ody and not at all to spend more time with the crown prince. as one does of course.

all i can think of is tele as that one vine: i am NOT chicken little XD

--

argos!! idc what yall say he is alive and well and gnawing on the bones of suitors.

THE PALMS OF HIS HAND IM CRYING AND BEGGING U TO STOP ur so cruel i love u pls continue and torture him (and me) harder

neos PTSDyyseus (geddit?) is slowly killing me. cant wait to see how this plays out esp if tele does something that really strikes a nerve

ody: u just want attention, u dont want my sons heart neo: *throws his throne at him*

the love and a slit throat line is so raw and beautiful, something tells me its a favourite of yours as it is a maxim to neo lol

neo was really harsh and tele has unlocked 17 new kinks asdfgh. stop falling deeper in love with him its going to break u neo wake tf up

"He likes this look on Telemachus’ face. He likes the fiery determination, the indignation, the rage. He likes this Telemachus just as much as he likes the sweet one who could grow flowers with his touch alone. He thinks that not as many people get to see this Telemachus." god help me. my beans >:')

OHOHOHOOH "holding her close to him with a kind of desperation that Neoptolemus recognizes" FUCK

i think i remember a snippet of where neo says deidamia would gladly accept pyrrhus back, but neo was no longer him, and it still hurts to think of. well done u truly have a way with words and imagery that compounds the gravity of the situation and spins them into a morsel that loves to squat in the middle of your throat and make u feel things.

--

fuck i just got to the underworld bit and im sick to my stomach. fuck. *combusts in nonexistent daddy issues* *heals only to die again worse*

OH MY GOD. NO U CANT DO THIS TO ME. HOW DARE U MAKE IT WORSE neo now being scared bc his dad cared and he can no longer tell himself welp its not like achilles' approval mattered anyway. FUCK

“He regretted much in his life, but you were never one of those things,” WHAT IF I CRIED. WHAT THEN?

lol tele pulling if not his friend then mine shit. love that for him

polites?? polites in my neomachus fic?? america exblain. (no seriously pls im genuinely confused, didnt he die via zeus?)

--

in conclusion:

neo: *punches tele's nose* fuck you

tele: *bleeding profusely* i love u too

neomachus my one and only tether to sanity (and my moots ofc)

(fun fact i made this before getting to the part where neo actually punches him in the nose and ngl i feel great no one talk to me lmao)

--

also also while reading i was humming along to blue eyes and guess what im gifting neo lmao. its 17 times funnier to me now after reading bc they flirt by nearly killing each other.

anyway bless you eternally, tysm for writing and gracing my eyes and heart and nourishing my soul with this ship lol, best of luck in uni may u pass every exam with flying colours and eat ur favourite food always

givin u a bajillion kudos ao3 cant tell me what to do >:(

also fable and truth slaps lol like its such a great opening chapter title

HELLOOOO EVERYBODY!!!

chapter one of my neomachus fic, someday i know you’ll come to your senses, is finally up!! you can check it out HERE!!

[skitskatdacat63]

2023 Brazilian Grand Prix - Podium - Fernando Alonso

[deoidesign]

.

[i-may-be-an-emu]

me: I wanna do something productive.

brain: no

me: but I want to and I have time and kind of have energy and I actually need to be doing things because it’s important stuff

brain: still no

me: well can I write or draw or something then

brain: nope, cause you’re meant to be being productive?

me: but you said I couldn’t be productive??

brain: yeah

[meownotgood]

i have so many thoughts about arcane but I'm so tired because it's 5 in the morning and I'm starving because i didn't eat and my brain is functioning at about 2% and all of my insides feel like mush.

[icharchivist]

Go off queen

It's your blog and you should be able to talk about whatever you want after all

aww thank you 🥺 i appreciate it <33

i do really not like spreading negativity esp when it's on a topic i have strong feelings about, and let's say the D.A fandom especially tends to be. extreme about the way it reacts to people disagreeing with them.

And look. I'm not immune to it because sometimes i get caught up by the genuinely rancid vibe in the fandom as well, and i think those games are designed for us to have strong feelings to start with.

but it also means i don't want to go too deep into controversial thoughts because i genuinely don't want to get to a point where i'll see someone screenshot my posts to dunk on it and say i'm the reason media literacy is dead and why the fandom is so toxic (citing things i've actually seen on said blog, for instance though not directed at me but at takes i've seen taken out of context. except i knew the context so knew this was a bad faith argument.).

Like can't even dislike shits in peace in here.

[lesbiansanemi]

I'm so tired

[florida3exclamationpoints]

[pleasedontcareaboutme]

I woke up and shed the happiest tears of my life. I'm so glad I posted that guitar cover, people were overwhelmingly supportive. And I feel like, even people who don't know about Acchan, they thought about him yesterday, that makes my heart so warm wtf 😭😭😭😭