#i really do love to see people defining their diets and morals

[twunkzilla]

I feel like veganism is way too culty and wrapped up in body image issues they focus on oh nothing should ever die and we should never consume any animal ever. Which like if you personally believe this ok but like its unreasonable for people who work and need to eat a lot of protein like its just oh you should do this and that cause its only right like i understand the meat industry is hideous and needs to die you know how ecstatic i would be if i found a cheap vegan source of protein? You know how fucking expensive meat is? Like all im seeing is class shit like oooh drink kombucha and eat quinoa becayse it will make your skin clear and make you lose weight

[stormblessed95]

Thank you for answering my ask Storm. I appreciate it. I am new to tumbler and have not read everything you have posted mainly focussed on the member dynamics in your masterlist. In your recent post you mentioned that the bullying had happened and that’s how I got to know. I believe in the same post or some posts after you said you were willing to engage in respectful discussions and after much diliberation I thought to myself, that it was ok to send that ask. And it was, coz you answered it so respectfully.

Even if I may not agree with you fully, I do see where you are coming from. Your blog is yours to moderate and that is that.

My gripe with this fandom is that a lot of fans do not allow for a difference of opinion which then just means that we are a cult. The boys are not perfect and it should be ok to call out some of the things they do if it is done in a respectful manner. It is really quite something for people to say that there is a need to police fans/solos or Jikook fans because look want happened to Taekookers. It is too late to make that call because now no fan would be able to take the Gandhian stance of looking the other way. History does define how the present is handled. Yes, it is negative approach but it is what it is.

In any fandom, big accounts have a moral responsibility to ensure that the same energy is given in calling out bullshit but a large number of the ot7 accounts are Taekookers so the same energy isn’t given and this is what has resulted in a whole lot of solo accounts who are unnecessarily hated on most of the time.

Thank you again for allowing discourse. I very much appreciate it.

Having a difference of opinion and not allowing anti rhetoric on my blog is not the same thing. And saying "I have these criticisms of Tae and I think that's fair" is fine, but it also doesn't change that it's the same rhetoric that his antis use against him and it's not something I'm interested in entertaining. I truly couldn't care less if people agree with me or not. That's always been the case. Just as it's always been true that I've held that this space is mine and mine alone. Y'all are here only if you want to be lol. You can feel however you want to feel, that doesn't mean I'm entitled to have to do anything about it nor does it mean I have to hold space for it. Which I think is the problem that occurs when you hit over a certain number of followers. I'm not quite sure when that transition happened for me, but sometimes I miss how my blog used to be 2+ years ago 😅😂

I love Tae. I love him so much. I love his bond with the members. I think there are for sure things we can talk about critically there. Just as there are things I think we can talk about critically for each member and for the group as a whole. Do I think now is the time? Probably not with all that is happening with k media and the harassment happening.

Do I think any of those critiques involve their relationships with each other, including how Tae interacts with JK, no. I think their relationship and how it works best for them, is not something we get to interject on. Opinions about that stem from personal biases and often, also anger about antis and the desire to protect other members from said antis.

I also agree that a large number of "OT7" accounts on Twitter don't give the same proper energy to calling out bad behavior because they are taekookers or diet solos/shippers. But then we shouldn't be calling them OT7 accounts, right? I promise there are really good larger accounts out there that aren't full of bullshit. You just gotta use your block button freely. Because not giving fake ot7 a platform, is a good way to start. But it's hard when it seems like no one else cares. I promise I understand that. I understand the frustration and the pain that brings. As someone who deals with haters who feel protected behind an anon label, I feel like I extra understand it sometimes.

Fandom spaces are going to be what you make of them. All types fandom can be full of so much bullshit. You gotta carve out a corner in it that brings you happiness and peace and do what you can that way. Or you aren't going to have any fun. And that's what fandom should be, something that is fun and brings you joy.

Thanks for replying kindly again 💜

[anonymouslyangsty]

How about I mash up your old obsession with your new obsession?

Your choice:

Jockey!Mondo and PersonalStylist!Taka

or

PersonalStylist!Mondo and Jockey!Taka

Oh heck yesss.

Of the two options, Jockey Taka and Personal Stylist Mondo speak to me the most. Ace’s outfit is kinda reminiscent of Taka’s already (white pants, boots), plus the jockeying outfit has that formal uniform vibe that fits Taka really well. I can’t really see Taka as being a good stylist, though I think Jockey!Mondo could be cool.

Beyond that, I just think Jockey!Taka would be really sweet, cause you know he’d LOVE those animals. His horses (I’m assuming jockeys have like a rotation of horses they use) all have very human names, and he constantly talks about them like they’re his teammates rather than, you know, animals. He has personally designed care routines and diets for each horse. He personally tends to them after every race. He talks to them like people. People joke that Taka’s a teenage father because he treats those horses like his kids. I’d personally like to think that his favorite horse has marking on its face that look like big old eyebrows.

Lore wise, I think jockeying is an expensive talent, so I suppose this is an au where the scandal never happened and Kiyotaka was raised as a rich kid. Since he didn’t have that experience of injustice in his life, he never got so obsessed with morals and politics, and instead drifted to a more athletic talent. Which I think makes sense since Taka seems so jockish at times. Though I think Jockey!Taka would be JUST as socially awkward, but instead of spending all his time studying he spends all his time talking to horses.

(Also, Taka as a well meaning but perhaps a tad oblivious rich kid is very funny to me. Yes he knows exactly how much the specialized mane shampoo he gets custom made costs, and he is very thankful to the work that goes into producing it. No he doesn’t know how much a banana costs, like $10?)

And Personal Stylist Mondo! Honestly I can totally see it. Like even in canon he clearly cares so much about his appearance (that eyeliner? That HAIR? Bro spends 2 hours in the bathroom getting ready in the morning at LEAST). Mondo has more style in his thumb than Taka has in his entire body, so I’ve got to give him the stylist talent.

I REALLY like the potential changes such a talent could have for Mondo. So much of his angst in canon comes from the expectations of the gang and the ideal of what being a ‘real man’ means. Any talent that takes him away from that environment is bound to be interesting. I could see him being just a tad sensitive about people saying he has a ‘feminine’ talent, but otherwise I think he’d suffer way less from toxic masculinity in this au. I really like the idea of him being able to explore his creative side; I imagine he’d do all sorts of styles, but maybe he’d have a specific interest in more rebellious type styles because they’re ‘badass’.

As for backstory, I always prefer to keep it similar to the original. So maybe Daiya and Mondo get into the race per usual, but Mondo’s the one who gets injured. Mondo ends up in the hospital, not dead clearly, but injured enough where he won’t be riding again anytime soon, if ever again. The realization of his injury, the fact that he can’t be the ‘strong badass’ he defines masculinity by at this moment, and the fact that both he and his brother nearly died due to his own ego, is…a lot. Those months in the hospital are more than a little rough.

I feel like he could start getting interested in fashion during this time, specifically the sort of rebel/gang/whatever type of fashion he’s been surrounded by his entire life. It’s just a way for him to still feel involved with the gang while distracting himself at first, but he eventually gets really into it. Daiya is, of course, supportive as hell. It’s the happiest he’s seen his brother since the accident, maybe the happiest he’s seen him even before that.

I can imagine Mondo getting really into it, designing new outfits for members of the Crazy Diamonds, helping them style their hair, giving them tips, ect. And through that he finds his own ‘thing’ he can be good at, something Daiya can’t do as well as him, and he finally feels like he’s no longer just ‘Daiya’s little brother’. So he sticks with it.

The interactions between Mondo and Junko in this au could be fun as hell, for real.

(Also, bonus. If I had to pick for Ace and Levi, I’d go with Moral Compass Levi and Gang Leader Ace. Levi’s is obvious; he’s trying to be a ‘good person’, and for this talentswap he’s taken that goal very seriously.)

(For Ace…sorry to bully him, but I find the idea of him somehow accidentally becoming the leader of a gang is very funny. I’m a little torn between the idea of him being utterly TERRIFIED of his entire gang, or feeling more confident because he has a bunch of buff dudes who listen to him. Either way, he’s probably still terrified of getting into an accident and dying, but the fear of disappointing his gang (and losing the protection they provide. And potentially gaining their anger) forces him to stick around.)

[chasing-rabbits]

There’s also the issue of assuming veganism is all about diet, plant based diets does not equal veganism. Even in this example it’s focusing on food which I understand why and I get the point but the thing is as you said it’s about harm reduction. If you can’t or aren’t willing to give up any animal products at all in your diet then you can choose other options. You can stop buying leather, you can make sure to buy stuff that’s labelled cruelty free or not tested on animals where possible (some items are more expensive and not realistic especially in todays financial climate I mostly see this with items like household cleaners & such. I think it is also inflated because it’s less about veganism and more about being eco friendly and I think that label makes companies think it gives them the right to charge stupid prices sometimes a bit like GF food being extortionate - especially the fucking bread) Anyways this post makes a very valid point and I live by the whole look you can eat what you want I’m not going to preach to you or try & force you to eat a plant based diet. At the end of the day you do you I have my beliefs you have yours. But when people use this kind of thinking it is a little annoying if you don’t want to go vegan fine but when people try and do a ‘gotcha’ moment with vegans when they talk about mice dying for harvesting crops and so on they think they’ve done something but in reality they’ve not got us at all. We know animals die for our food we know that no food is going to avoid animal deaths entirely. I think people forget or ignore the definition of veganism ‘Veganism is a philosophy and way of living which seeks to exclude—as far as is possible and practicable—all forms of exploitation of, and cruelty to, animals…’ and it continues on but the important part is ‘as far as is possible and practicable. It’s about doing what you personally can which means veganism looks different for everyone and whilst yes usually veganism would define someone who follows a totally plant based diet and doesn’t buy leather and so on you can technically be vegan whilst still consuming animal products. I am vegan I was fully plant based for 8 years until more recently where I’ve had to include fish in my diet (not because of nutritional needs or deficiencies more so based around my disabilities and other things which aren’t relevant right now) do I still define myself as vegan, yes. Do others accept me as vegan? Yes. Because I’m doing what is possible and practicable for me at this moment in time. I also love that point about the cheese so many people say ‘I’d go vegan BUT I can’t give up cheese’ but it’s like okay?? You want to still eat cheese go ahead but that doesn’t mean you can’t stop eating meat or eggs or stop buying leather. And if you really don’t want to do that then that’s fine but for people who say that & actually do genuinely mean it then why aren’t you cutting out everything else but cheese if you really mean you’d go vegan if it wasn’t for cheese then go vegan but eat your cheese. And for people who can’t give up meat or can’t eat plant based you can still give up buying leather, or choose vegan/cruelty free products you could still make eco conscious choices stop buying fast fashion, recycle more, use less plastic - i.e buy reusable cups so you don’t have to use the plastic ones at places like costa etc. People take an all or nothing approach to veganism and it’s not that simple but they’d like it to be because then it makes it easier for them to argue against us and to paint us all as said above ‘moral purists’.

A lot of ppl don't get veganism bc they think it's a philosophy that seeks moral purity, "if I was stuck on a deserted island with no food other than a pig I'd eat the pig, therefore I can't be vegan" type of reasoning shows this very clearly.

"But what if maybe some mice were killed while harvesting plants"

"I have this medication I need to take that isn't vegan...that's why I can't order a vegan burger from the menu"

"I like cheese too much...that's why I keep eating meat with every meal"

Like nobody understands harm reduction and they seem to assume that we vegans are also all so obsessed with doing everything in the most morally pure way and that, if we knew that there's nuance to it, it would also paralyze us into inaction.

No sorry, that's just you projecting. Personally, I live by the philosophy that all change has to come from somewhere, even if it's small, and I'm fully aware that there's no perfect way to do good, but I won't let that stop me.

I don't care about perfection, I just want fewer animals to suffer & die, it's literally that simple.

[llewey-watts]

Work in progress post:

Detective Watts Best Quotes

Concocting A Killer

Watts: “Ah, so you’re the one who botched it.” Murdoch: “Excuse me?”

Watts: “Well, that’s why I’m here, isn’t it?”

Brackenreid: “Listen, Detective Murdoch did nothing wrong. The Crown is just worried that Shanley may claim prejudice if the same detective reinvestigates the case.”

Watts: “Right, right, right. You’re just biased. The coroner’s the one who botched it. Coroners. Odd lot. Far from reliable to say the least. Not to mention the smell.”

Murdoch: “Our coroner has a flawless record. And she also happens to be my wife.”

Watts: “Good God, man. You’re married to the city coroner?”

Murdoch: “Yes.”

Watts: “Oof. Is she pretty? Ah, she’d have to be pretty. I don’t know how else you could tolerate being married to a colleague.”

“The streets of this fine city are my office.”

Crabtree: “Should I read these files?”

Watts: “Absolutely not. The less you know, the more pure you remain. From purity emerges truth. From truth emerges justice. Knowing nothing allows one to see everything.”

“Our mind is where we live our lives. The only home one needs is the human skull.”

Watts: “Oh, no. You interviewed a witness?”

Murdoch: “Oh, no. She called on me.”

Watts: “Your involvement was to cease entirely. Instead, it appears you are continuing to seek a conviction. And based on what? A visual test done 12 years ago by a neophyte coroner?”

Murdoch: “Dr. Ogden is my wife.”

Watts: “Which makes it all the more likely you’re blind to her mistakes. No, it appears this dinner was a poor idea. Good night Detective.”

Watts: “The detective was wrong.”

Ogden: “About what?”

Watts: “You’re not pretty.”

Ogden: “Excuse me?”

Watts: “Look at you. Classic, Romanesque bone structure, excellent physiognomic symmetry. You’re not pretty. You’re beautiful.”

Ogden: “Well, I suppose I’m flattered.”

Watts: “Why? It’s merely an objective assessment. But that necktie **shakes his head**.

“Honestly, Inspector, how does anyone work with this man? He is some kind of renegade to whom rules are a foreign concept.”

“Let’s suppose for a moment that Mr. Shanley is guilty of this current murder. Now, does that make him more or less likely to be guilty of the first? Are you the same man today you were yesterday? Your hair is not the same. You cut and discarded it. Same with your fingernails. Over time, our entire body falls away and is reconstituted. How, then, can you be the same? Oh, but our thinking changes with maturity, with experience. In truth, the continuity of personhood may be nothing more than a delusion. In fact, it makes me question our whole profession..."

“We need to get out of doors detective. The truth is in the air. We must **deep breath** breathe it in.”

“We both know you didn’t do it. — We have to blame someone. The function of the police is to attribute blame on behalf of the community, but the community doesn’t particularly care if we blame the right person. — Why not? Man has been using scapegoats since Leviticus. The sims were placed upon the goat, the goat was banished to the desert, but mo one cared that the goat was innocent.”

“The ignorami at Station One have done it again. I clearly told them to release the man who looks like Karl Marx. They’ve let out some fellow who’s as clean-shaven as bloody Kierkegaard.”

Hades Hath No Fury

“How could I have been so unaware? My sister was in distress, and I suspected nothing. Age is no excuse for inattention. -but, sir, you found her. Your sister’s alive.- Yes. So I’m at peace.”

“Yes. Well life is but a cruel sport for whatever maker you are forced to believe in. -Detective Watts I understand...- Would your sister forsake you for a house of women who have eschewed the world in which you live?-my sister was a nun.-“

“Truth is absolute, unyielding and eternal, Jackson. It is our one constant in a turbulent universe.”

“Your face is *pause* symmetrical, but that hat *shakes his head*”

Merlot Mysteries

Watts: “Wine is proof that God loves us and wants to see us happy.”

Murdoch: “I highly doubt that”

Watts: “Oh, you reject the words of Benjamin Franklin?”

Murdoch: “Even a clever man is capable of a bad idea. no. wine, like any alcohol, is a depressant. It hinders the mind.”

Watts: “Ah, but ‘in wine there is truth.’ -Pliny the Elder.”

Murdoch: “Writers and Philosophers are seldom the best of judges. Especially when it comes to alcohol.

Watts: “Well, no one less than Louis Pasteur called wine, ‘the most helpful and most hygienic of beverages.’ Is it that you don’t enjoy the taste?”

Murdoch: “Ah.”

“Oh. Wait right there. I’m going to show you how wrong you are.”

“‘Wine can of their wits the wise beguile, make the sage frolic, and a serious smile.’”

“In the words of Diogenes, ‘What I like to drink most is wine that belongs to others.’”

Murdoch: “Spectroscopic analysis.”

Watts: “Ah, yes. Not reliable in my experience. How’s it meant to help us?”

Murdoch: “By comparing the wine in question to the light profile of other varying ages, we’ll be able to discern precisely how old it is.”

Ogden: “The older the wine, presumably, the light the color, thanks to the blanching effect of sunlight.”

Watts: “Mm, but it was kept in a cellar. Depending on conditions, two bottles of the same provenance could be wildly different. There’s absolutely to way to determine —“

Murdoch: “Thank you, Detective. Please.”

Watts: “All right.”

Ogden: “Ready?”

Murdoch: “Yes.”

Ogden: “It’s 4.3.”

**Watts waiting + messing around.**

Ogden: “It’s 5.2. 8.5.”

Watts: “Well?”

Murdoch: “[Sighs] They are all different.”

Watts: “Really?”

Murdoch: “Every grape, every year, every bottle.”

Watts: “Hm, you don’t say.”

Murdoch: “It compares to an 1880 Merlot...a 1902 Tempranillo...and...several others.”

Ogden: “Well, I suppose you told us so, Detective.”

Murdoch: “All right. Call in your expert.”

Watts: “Uh, not my expert. My sommelier.”

The Talking Dead

“No one intends to get murder **scratches his beard** and yet.”

Crabtree: “Sir, are you not concerned that you yourself are marked for death?”

Watts: “Oh, I don’y like it, but the truth is death could come to any one of us any day.”

Crabtree: “Still, no need to hurry it along.”

Watts: “Well, very little of life is under our control. Very little death as well.”

Crabtree: “Watts, have you ever been to Paris?”

Watts: “Ah yes, The City of Light.”

Crabtree: “I thought that was Buffalo?”

Watts: “No, I believe Paris came up with it first. Why do you ask?”

Crabtree: “Nina’s involved with a show that’s preforming there. She wants me to go.”

Watts: “Forever?”

Crabtree: “No, no, just a short while.”

Watts: “Well, the world is only an oyster if you choose to open it.”

Crabtree: “So go to Paris today, for tomorrow I might die?”

Watts: “Precisely.”

Crabtree: “What about you? What would you do with your last day?”

Watts: “Just this. Talk to a friend.”

Crabtree: “Who? Oh me?”

Watts: “And solve a crime.This is what were looking for.”

Crabtree: “Brilliant.”

Watts: “The City of Love with a beautiful woman. You’d be a fool to say no.”

Crabtree: “Thought you said it was the City of Light.”

Watts: “Light. Love. Are they not one and the same?”

Crabtree: “I prefer to love with the lights off, sir. I fear I’m bashful.”

Crabtree à la Carte

“A shame. It looks terrific. I think I’ll go out for lunch. Anyone care to join me? —- This disappoints me. But I soldier on.”

“I’ll work with her. People are not to be defined merely by their words, thoughts, and actions.”

“KRRRKRRRKRRRSHING SHING SHING SHING SHING! a moleta.”

“[speaking Italian] RESPONDA TO ME!”

That man’s look tho.

Watts: “It may once again be safe, but I’m not sure I’ll ever regard meat with the same enthusiasm again.”

Cherry: “Perhaps you should stick to freshly butchered cuts.”

Watts: “I thought the same. Then I read up on the abattoir conditions in the stockyards.”

Cherry: “The Shelleys subscribed to a Pythagorean diet. Da Vinci too.”

Watts: “Pythagorean? You mean vegetarian?”

Cherry: “I do. ‘My body,’ said da Vinci, ‘will not be a tomb to other creatures.’”

Watts: “Yes. Yes, it’s the only way to live, isn’t it? Join me, Miss Cherry. From this day forward, we shall follow the ranks of all moral men in our strict adherence to vegetarianism.”

Cherry: “Uh, I don’t think so. What, are we cows?”

Murdoch Schmurdoch

“Are you being facetious?”

“**To Constable John Brackenreid** Let me guess, you invited a lady to accompany you on an outing and she declined. — I would counsel you to persevere. Ask again. As Lord Nelson wrote, ‘the boldest measures are the safest,’ although I suppose a woman is quite unlike a Danish Fleet. — Yes. Tread softly, Young Brackenreid. Let her know that if her inclination changes, your offer still stands.”

Game of Kings

Ogden: “I see. Well, I don’t much fancy being stared at for the next five months.”

Murdoch: “Julia...”

Ogden: “Inspector, I couldn’t help but notice that you and all of the men were staring at the us both. Is there something you’d like to ask?”

Brackenreid: “Uh, no.”

Ogden: “Constable Crabtree?”

Crabtree: “What? [Chuckles]”

Ogden: “Higgins?”

Higgins: “No, ma’am.”

Ogden: “What about you, Detective Watts? You seem like a curious fellow.”

Watts: “Well, there is one thing.”

Murdoch: “What is that?”

Watts: “When’s the baby coming?”

Crabtree: “Oh!”

Brackenreid: “Bloody hell, Watts! They wanted to keep it a secret.”

Watts: “How could they do that when everyone clearly knows what’s going on here?”

Free Falling

Watts: “One hopes this won’t put too much of a strain on their relationship.”

Crabtree: “How so?”

Watts: “In the face of great loss, emotions can be misdirected. Feelings amplified. I knew a young couple who experienced a similar issue. They never recovered.”

Watts: “The secret to dealing with gruesome remains is to replace natural instinct with logic.”

Constable Brackenreid: “Okay. How?”

Watts: “Consider an ant. Imagine you trod upon one, crushing it, and leaving it’s body mangled beyond recognition. Now, does this disturb you?”

Constable Brackenreid: “Not really.”

Watts: “Exactly. So we simply apply the transitive law. If we are not disturbed by an ant, there is no reason to be disturbed by a beetle. If not by a beetle, then not by a caterpillar. Nor a butterfly, nor a sparrow, nor a fish, nor a rabbit, not a dog...nor a human. What we have here, then, is no more disturbing than the squashed remains of an ant.”

Hart: “What’s this?”

Watts: “A reminder of the inhumanity of man, Miss Hart.”

Hart: “How poetic.”

Watts: “Constable? It seems something’s troubling you.”

Crabtree: “How so?”

Watts: “There’s an expression on your face that suggests you have a thought in your head.”

Crabtree: “Do you remember I asked you about visiting Paris?”

Watts: “No.”

Crabtree: “And then I was away for some time?”

Watts: “No.”

Crabtree: “No. Well, in any case, I did. I went to Paris with Nina.”

Watts: “Mm.”

Crabtree: “And she wants to go again, but for good.”

Watts: “So you’re considering leaving us all behind?”

Crabtree: “I don’t want to. My whole life is here. But I could imagine a life there. I don’t know. If I...If I don’t go, I lose Nina. If I do, I lose everything else that’s dear to me.”

Watts: “One loss doesn’t outweigh the other?”

Crabtree: “The enormity of either seems too great to contemplate.”

Watts: “Oof. Well...I can’t give you any advice. But I can tell you what I know. I know that we spend our whole lives holding on to what we have. We fear loss as much as death itself. But without loss, there is no change. Without change, there is no? Life.”

Crabtree: “Detective. You realize there’s nothing written on the blackboard, right?”

Watts: “Uh, yes, but it provides a frame of reference.”

Crabtree: “Ah.”

Brothers Keepers

“Of course I’m not certain. Memories are fragmentary impressions at best. The mind moves like a flock of starlings. It’s hard to pin down a thought, let alone a memory.”

“Did I have reason? Nigel Baker tortured and killed a man I...A man who was in every way my brother. Someone who deserved my protection. I had ample reason to kill Nigel Baker. But as I have already made clear, I didn’t recognize him. So did I kill him with intention? No. Am I sorry he’s dead? No, I’m not. To be honest, even if given the chance to exact my revenge, I’m not sure I’m capable of it. Obviously, my philosophy rejects that very idea. No one asks to be the way they are, not even boys like Nigel Baker.”

In reference to justice being found:

Watts: “Where is that to be found? I’ve been asking myself that. To be honest, I’m unable to think of much else.

Murdoch: “You seek justice.”

Watts: “I crave it. If I could, I would demand it. I want the man who killed my brothers to feel their pain. To feel my grief at what he did to them. But he’s dead. At the hand of his father. Did he even know why? And now the father will likely hang. Is that justice?

Brackenreid: “Of a sort, I suppose.”

Watts: “Then why don’t I feel better?”

Annabella Cinderella

Constable Brackenreid: “Do you think I’ll get a chance to meet him?”

Crabtree: “Who? The lawyer? What do you want to meet him for?”

Constable Brackenreid: “I-I followed the trial. I felt sorry for her.”

Crabtree: “John, she killed her mother with an ax.”

Constable Brackenreid: “Harriet Rawlins wasn’t her mother. Annabella was a home child.”

Crabtree: “So that makes it alright?”

Constable Brackenreid: “She was beaten and tortured. Her home sister admitted as much.”

Crabtree: “The home sister that Annabella then tried to murder?”

Constable Brackenreid: “Rosemary Rawlins was abusive as well.”

Watts: “That’s what made it such a brilliant defense. The victim was painted as a villain, the villain painted as a victim. Annabella Cinderella.”

Crabtree: “So you’re a fan of the lawyer as well?”

Constable Brackenreid: “He took her case for free.”

Watts: “Oh, nobody’s motives are purely altruistic. It’s all in the service of his political aspirations. He running for mayor, don’t you know?”

Crabtree: “Thank you very much, Detective Watts, for everything. You as well, Mr. Daniels.”

Constable Brackenreid: “And I’m terribly sorry about all of this.”

Watts: “Of course you’re sorry. It doesn’t change anything, so why waste energy in saying it?”

Constable Brackenreid: “Does Detective Murdoch know?”

Watts: “No, he doesn’t. And that’s not the question you should be asking right now.”

Constable Brackenreid: “Sorry, I...”

Watts: “Nope.”

Constable Brackenreid: “W-What is?”

Lawyer: “How do we find her?”

Watts: “Ah. On the train over, I went through the file from the Crown prosecutor. There’s one more person we should protect.”

Lawyer: “Who’s that?”

Watts: “The doctor who filed the death certificate and attended the case.”

Lawyer: “Dr. Beattie was never called to testify.”

Watts: “He provided evidence that helped convict her.”

Lawyer: “Good point. Let’s go.”

Watts: “No. You stay. **waves gun in the air** This is police business. All right.”

Constable Brackenreid: “I’m not saying she’s innocent. I just pointed out that there are other people who may have wanted to kill her mother.”

Watts: “Which, if they did, would ipso facto make her innocent.”

Crabtree: “Did she say she was innocent?”

Constable Brackenreid: “She did, yes.”

Watts: “‘Twas ever thus.”

Constable Brackenreid: **opens the door** “Oh, my God.”

Watts: “Still think she’s so innocent?”

Constable Brackenreid: “This is my fault.”

Crabtree: “It’s jot your fault, John.”

Watts: “Losing the prisoner was your fault. This is merely a consequence. One cannot be accountable for every consequence, because the consequences of every action are infinite.”

Constable Brackenreid: “Is that supposed to make me feel better?”

Watts: “Your feelings are irrelevant. It’s simply the truth of it.”

Crabtree: “It does confirm our fears. The girl’s out for bloody revenge.”

[spiffypony]

Some thoughts on amateurism and “high performance” in sport

Alright @thehorsethief and @sanddancingwithanxiety, I have a 5 hour layover and no desire to do real work so here goes. Also fair warning, chrome isn’t playing nice w tumblr on my computer so this is all from mobile.

First let’s define a few things. 1) an amateur is someone who participates (in this case) in a sport without receiving any substantial compensation in the way of goods or currency. 2) high performance is a modifier referring time athletes, programs, strategies etc at the top of their sport (the highest level/most competitive/what have you). 3) a professional athlete is someone who participates in a sport for compensation, often from sponsors.

Additionally, this is coming from my own experience as an amateur equestrian, highschool varsity athlete (basketball and powerlifting), and NCAA Division III athlete (rowing). I am not a professional, I have never been, and, and this is something I’m going to emphasize: I’m not a high performance athlete. While my experience with amateurism in sports runs the gambit from v casual to quite structured, and I do participate in a program that prioritizes competitive success, I really want to be clear, I am not the pinnacle of amateur athlete.

Now then, something I see in a lot of (highschool) programs and a mindset that seems pretty common amongst horsblr is people believing themselves (or their children) in their athletic pursuits to be on a path to or on par with high performance athletes, often pros in the horse world. This is usually an inaccurate notion and in highschool sports it leads to parents pushing their kids into toxic and/or overbearing programs where kids end up burnt out or permanently injured or both before they could ever reach the desired outcome (often getting monetary assistance for college). This affects parents, it affects coaches and it fucks kids up. I have lots of feelings on it having been through it and having witnessed it, but that’s another post quite frankly. In the equestrian world, it is the primary fodder of self identified underdogs and outcasts. In the equestrian world it seems to translate into an overly high regard for one’s own knowledge and training program. This is ultimately less damaging than the highschool case generally. Also as a note here, participation in sports, and especially equestrian sports is a huge privilege of time, money, and location, and participation at a high performance level is even more so and lack of privilege is a major limitation to most people’s participation. That doesn’t diminish the importance of this conversation though.

To give an idea of what I mean, I’m going to compare the commitments of collegiate rowing to dressage in my own life. We’ll start with dressage, currently it’s in the backburner because I’m a college kid with no money and less time, I take lessons with a trainer who has a good name and has proven themself in competition and with other students weekly when I’m home. When I had a horse, I rode 3-4 times a week when I was home (about 4 months out of the year) and at school I take lessons through a club at a h/j barn for about 8 weeks a semester. In highschool I rode 2/3 times a week and spent another 2/3 hours a week on education for dressage. This adds up to an average of ~10 hours a week when you include transit time, it’s easily down to 6 or 7 if you cut the drive time out though. Additionally, dressage didn’t impact much outside of itself in my life, I was already lifting for powerlifting and rowing and it never had an effect on my diet, sleep schedule, or life rhythm. I’d say that this level of commitment is about average, and I don’t mean to disparage it, I love dressage and I do want to consistently improve in it and build skill in it. But that’s nothing compared to rowing. Rowing has two seasons a year, a 6 week season in the fall and an 8 week season in the spring. In season I have morning practice 5 or 6 days a week with one day also having an afternoon weights session and another being back to back practice and weights, so average 8 hours of practice a week, and that’s rounding down. Now add regattas (meets), they are invariably 5+ hour events, and in the spring we have them every weekend, so I’m up to an average 13 hours a week in season. Out of season we have captains practices. 5 days a week, so 5 hours a week. Additionally mid semester breaks we practice between 1.5 and 2 times as much. And over summer and winter break, we’re expected to work out 4 days a week. And that’s just pure practice time. Rowing isn’t like dressage, I get up at 5 am for practices, so I have to go to bed before 11 or I fall asleep in classes, I’m doing Hard physical exercise daily, so I have to make sure I’m not only eating enough, but eating well. Having regattas means I can’t pick up work shifts on the weekends usually. Hour wise it’s double what dressage is, at their most intense, but it’s also a more sustained substantial commitment and it has a material effect in most aspects of my life (food, sleep, work, free time). Oh, and my rowing program? It’s DIII, it’s Collegiate AthleticsLite™️. They can’t even give athletes scholarship for being on the team.

Real high performance athletes are always training, their diets, their sleep schedules, and everything else in their lives revolve around their sport. It’s why NCAA DI sports are rife controversy about whether the technically amateur athletes should be able to receive compensation. Those horror stories you’ve heard about college athletes? That’s DI. The football coaches who make more than double a professor’s salary? That’s DI. NCAA DI Sports are almost without exception high performance programs. They obtain and produce athletes who are at the top of their sport and the consequence of that is that the sport is the athlete’s life.

To be clear, not all equestrian pros are high performance athletes. Even if we rightfully exclude the “pros” who teach beginner lessons to offset board or who schooled the problem lesson horses in their youth, there’s a huge proportion of equestrian pros (specifically trainers and riders) who compete primarily at lower levels and provide basic guidance and safety to their clients. But like high performance athletes, regardless of the level of the sport, the truth remains that for pros, as with high performance athletes, the sport is their life. It’s literally how they live. They certainly do it at a greater scale and more frequently than most of their amateur clients. This has gotten rather lengthy, but really the point is this: if you do not compete at the highest level, you are Not a high performance athlete and quite frankly there’s nothing wrong with that, realistically, you probably don’t want to be a high performance athlete.

What is bad is equating yourself with a high performance athlete. It sets you up for disappointment and digs you into a pit of self pity that’s very difficult to dig out of. In dressage in particular one must be careful, because if one fancies themself on par with a pro, one will be let down always and may eventually determine that the guidelines of the sport they’ve pursued are wrong and be driven from the sport rather than learning to set reasonable goals and balance desired progress with leisure. To be clear, falling into the pit of self pity so to speak is not a moral failing, it’s a mis judgement. And it’s one most people make at some point in their life. Certainly it can have bad consequences, like a loss of drive to critically analyze ones own actions and a tendency to reject any actual outside input, but these things are temporary and are best overcome not through self brutalizations but through careful, constant consideration of the context of our participation in sport.

Now for the actual point: this has an application to conversations about high performance in sport. Namely: your experience as a non high performance athlete is of limited if any significance to such discussions. The things said and suggested in those conversations are also of limited application to your pursuit of your sport. Charlotte Dujardin’s hand tailored Pilates routine is going to do a low level rider whose only exercise is riding about as much good as going for a jog a couple times a week. Michael Jung’s favorite bit in the hands of a novice eventer on their packer is not going to shave even seconds off a xc run. Likewise, just because you wouldn’t run your bucket list foal through a jump chute at a year old doesn’t mean it’s inappropriate for a breeder advertising to higher performance athletes than you to do so on occasion. So. Stop comparing yourselves to high performance athletes. Stop pretending high performance athletes participate the way you do. You are not them. You cannot fathom being them. There’s nothing wrong with your current level of participation but for your own sake, stop equating yourself with that. Accept that your trainer gets the best out of your horse because they are on a different level than you. Accept that you cannot understand the practices of a horse pro through the context of your own experience. When you read prescriptive posts about how to be a better horse person that frustrate you think: “is this targeted at someone of my participation level” no? Move on.

Anyways I’m done now.

Tldr: A lot of equestrians are very casual in their participation if their chosen sport which is fine, good even. This means their experiences are not comparable to pros and those at the highest level. Equating ones casual participation with that of those at the highest level can cause distress to ones self as well as hinder their progress. Additionally it can cause one to make a fool of themself. For the sake of your own enjoyment take stock if your participation level and keep it in mind when setting goals, seeking advice and judging the choices of other athletes.

[coffeecupsandquiet]

ISOLOPHILIA

“If you're lonely when you're alone, you're in bad company.” ― Jean-Paul Sartre

Basic Information

Full name: Jordan Rojas

Pronunciation: JOR-DAN RO-HAAS

Nickname(s): dont even think about it

Birthdate: January 12

Age: 23

Zodiac: Capricorn 

Gender: Cis-male

Pronouns: he/him

Romantic orientation: homoromantic

Sexual orientation: he is what the kids call, morosexual….. Jk homosexual

Nationality: American

Ethnicity: mixed (hesitate to comment beyond Italian due to my inability to track down definitive sources of Rob Raco’s ethnicity)

Current location: miami baBY

Living conditions: immaculate and modernly simplistic. A clean house is a calm house.

 Background

Birthplace: unknown

Hometown: Chicago

Social Class: upper middle? I think?

Educational achievements: nothing formal, but he does consume books at an unhealthy rate

Father: unknown

Mother: unknown

Sibling(s): unknown

Birth order: unknown

Pets: ABSOLUTELY YES OF COURSE! He has five sweet honeys, one queen named Melon, and four beautiful kittens, Cantaloupe, Sugar, Honeydew, and Galia. Fun fact, but all of the kittens names are names of melons. 

Previous relationships: non existent….. lol

Arrests: ….uhhhhhhh, absolutely not

Prison time: ^^^^^^^

 Occupation & Income

Current occupation: he do be a thief for a crime organization tho

Dream occupation: a librarian… or maybe an archivist for a famous museum…. yeah

Past job(s): being a full time SQUARE

Spending habits: hm, careful with his money, but will spend extra to make sure what he is wearing/doing/seeing is up to his standards

In debt?: this is MY fantasy and in it, i have NO DEBT so NO 

Most valuable possession: his babies… but followed up by his gold leafed edition of the Grimme Fairytales.

 Skills & Abilities

Physical strength: Above Average | Average | Below Average

Note: pre-determined that he lifts to carry the homies

Speed: Above Average | Average | Below Average

Note: do you really think you’d catch him running in gucci shoes? no

Intelligence: Above Average | Average | Below Average

Note: jordan says ‘fuck the school system!’ and then read books forever

Accuracy: Above Average | Average | Below Average

Note: jordan is very good with powers, but uh, i don’t know if he’s good with a gun. I imagine he’d flinch at the recoil

Agility: Above Average | Average | Below Average

Note: he’s a bit of a snake, but erm, not enough to be considered wily i think

Stamina: Above Average | Average | Below Average

Note: he goes to the gym, but not for endurance so-

Teamwork: hell no. total lone wolf, which is why it's a miracle he gets along with Len

Talents/hobbies: reading, obviously, but he also dabbles in piano and writing I think. Lets make fun of Jordan for writing bad poetry!!!!! Im going to throw that nerds books in the fountin

Shortcomings: stubborn as hell and also extremely stuck up. Partially because he is naturally untrusting but also partially because hes kind of a dick. 

Languages spoken: English and conversational Spanish

Drive?: hell no, hes gay

Jump-start a car?: hell no, hes gay

Change a flat tyre?: hell no, hes gay

Ride a bicycle?: yes, but the last time he did he was like 8 or something so

Swim?: yes! He actually likes it I think, but usually only if he’s alone. 

Play an instrument?: Piano! 

Play chess?: Obviously. Not seriously or anything, but he can play.

Braid hair?: Yes! He plays with his own hair when he’s bored. 

Tie a tie?: oh my god yes of COURSE he does. If he didn’t he would have to bully himself.

Pick a lock?: he’d be a pretty shit thief if he couldn’t

Cook?: yes! Nothing quite like knowing what to cook with his nice white wine

 Physical Appearance & Characteristics

Faceclaim: Rob Raco

Eye colour: blue

Hair colour: black

Hair type/style/length: shoulder length and wavy

Glasses/contacts?: contacts

Dominant hand: left

Height: 5’9”

Weight: i don’t want to answer this because i don’t know

Build: slender and lightly defined

Exercise habits: i feel so embarrassed admitting that jordan do be lifting three times a week

Skin tone: i….. Golden? idk

Tattoos: contrary to his many gifs, he doesn’t have any i don’t think

Piercings: his ears are definitely pierced though

Marks/scars: some scars from some “playful” rough housing. Nothing too extreme, just a nick on his left calf and a hidden one in his right eyebrow. 

Clothing style: clean cut. He prefers dress shirts and slacks for most occasions, and is rarely seen dressed down further than a short sleeve button up. Putting on his clothes is like putting up a front. Just a reminder to hold everyone at a distance. 

Jewellery: he does have a watch and earrings and perhaps a couple of necklaces

Allergies: none

Diet: vegetarian i have just decided right here right now

Physical ailments: none

 Psychology

I did a test with Jordan in mind for each of these fuckers.

MBTI type: INTJ-A: Bookish and reclusive are two words to describe this type, and that lines up pretty well with Jordan’s personality as well. They value themselves more so than the relationships they make, and pride themselves on getting things done. 

Enneagram type: Type 6: the Loyal Skeptic. Taken from the website “The committed, security-oriented type. Sixes are reliable, hard-working, responsible, and trustworthy. Excellent "troubleshooters," they foresee problems and foster cooperation, but can also become defensive, evasive, and anxious—running on stress while complaining about it”

Moral Alignment: Chaotic Neutral- Driven by their own purposes, willing to do anything to secure themselves. They aren’t inherently evil, but are only usually only good when it serves their purposes.

Temperament:  Take from the website: Phlegmatic - The phlegmatic temperament is fundamentally relaxed and quiet, ranging from warmly attentive to lazily sluggish. Phlegmatics tend to be content with themselves and are kind. They are accepting and affectionate. They may be receptive and shy and often prefer stability to uncertainty and change. They are consistent, relaxed, calm, rational, curious, and observant, qualities that make them good administrators. They can also be passive-aggressive.

Element: Earth

Emotional stability: At the moment in our time line, horrid. Non existent. He is just a giant ball of feelings and he HATES IT because usually he is very put together. 

Introvert or Extrovert? Incredibly introverted, if it wasn’t already obvious.

Obsession(s): Books! Clearly. But also his cats as well as fashion and cleanliness and coffee!!!!!

Compulsion(s): Making sure all of his mugs are facing the same direction in the cabinet.

Phobia(s): Claustrophobia 

Addiction(s): none

Drug use: Remember the Jordan is a pot head meme. Yeah. That

Alcohol use: usually just a glass or two of wine. Nothing to big. Usually. 

Prone to violence?: Heavens no! For all of his lifting, if someone threw a punch at him he’d probably run away.

Prone to crying?: Not in front of people, but he can be a weepy drunk depending on the time nad place

Believe in love at first sight?: Although he is a realist, he has a very very romantic and soft heart, so this one is a yes, although he would never admit it.

 Mannerisms

Accent: American

Speech quirks: talks like he’s a bored victorian scholar

Hobbies: reading, writing, playing piano, playing with cats, making coffee.

Habits: sleeping with a light on

Nervous ticks: he touches his hair when he’s nervous or thinking

Drives/motivations: his biggest motivation is staying alive and safe from the government. He knows his power could be used to hurt everyone, not just him, and that is important because there is safety in numbers. Also, he knows that there are mutants who will help him just because he is one of them. 

Fears: being taken and tested on or used against other mutants. There is litcherally no fear greater than that for him

Sense of humour?: dry and sardonic. Usually takes amusement in knowing more than you

Do they curse often?: Heavens no! If they are cursing, they are either drunk, scared, surprised, or PISSED OFF. or all of them together LMAO 

 Favorites

Animal: cat for obvious reasons

Beverage: a classic latte, for obvious reasons

Book: The Door into Summer by Robert A. Heinlein

Colour: Mahogany 

Food: Yogurt and berries

Flower: traditional roses, because he is a romantic

Gem: Mahogany Obsidian

Mode of transportation: Foot or bus

Scent: Lily and lets be real, good kush

Sport: he’s gay…...

Weather: sunny rainshower

Vacation destination: into his own bed and then no one bothers him

 Attitudes

Greatest dream: to not feel hunted no matter where he goes. He also wants to settle down with someone whom he loves and who loves him, because romance is something he has always fantasized about

Greatest fear: dying before he’s ready, but worse so, being captured and used against his will

Most at ease when: he’s snuggling up with his cats with a nice book

Least as ease when: he is in a high stress situation with no familiar faces.

Worst possible thing that could happen: being captured and used

Biggest achievement: Securing his place in the Kings and consequently out of the police as soon as he possibly could once he turned 18.

Biggest regret: Never resisting the orders of those in his foster home.

[afurrybutthememekind]

Evan Langford

I still don’t have the best feel for Evan. He was my first Mason route and I really just wanted him to be most things Mason isn’t but that makes him tricky for me because that also makes him a lot of things I’m not. Like easily flustered. His love of solitude in nature and inability to apply himself despite being capable in school are the only two things we have in common and I gave him those trait in an attempt to connect with him better. It has not worked as well as I’d hoped.

And into the forest I go to lose my mind and find my soul.

Evan has a tendency to worry about things out of his control. He doesn’t like most people he meets but that won’t stop him from trying to protect everyone he can. He is usually very forward with his emotions but doesn't have a lot of people he actually wants to be around when he does become emotional. When he feels like he can’t handle something he just gets in his car and drives. He knows every little back road and secret place in Wayhaven from his late night adventures. Despite his normal tendency to be stressed or anxious, he doesn’t mind getting lost and discovering new places. Especially if he’s in nature. The only place he doesn’t feel anxious is in the wilderness, no matter how deep, secluded, or lost he is. He has an extremely deep respect for all animals and believes that every part of the animal deserves to be honored whether is be meat for cooking or a pelt for decoration. The first time he realizes that he wants Mason to come with him on his late night drives or spur of the moment hikes is probably going to kill him. He knows that if he isn’t careful he will develop feelings for Mason but is aware that they probably wouldn’t be returned. He’s easily flustered by any social situation since he never took the time to actually develop social skills and doesn’t know what to do but no one flusters him like Mason. 

Pets:

None, he has nothing against pet ownership since he knows how good of companions animals can be but he prefers animals in the wild where they belong.

Stats:

Charming 44% - Intimidating 56%

Impulsive 54% - Cautious 46%

Sarcastic 50% - Genuine 50%

Friendly 45% - Stoic 55%

Easygoing 40% - Stubborn 60%

Traits:

Heart 37% - Mind 63%

Optimist 51% - Pessimist 49%

Team Player 40% - Independent 60%

Skills:

People/Psychology 14%

Combat/Physical 28%

Science/Technology 67%

Deduction/Knowledge 58%

By the Book 51% - Bend the Rules 49%

Professional Relationships:

Mayor Friedman: 1

Police Captain: 3

Personal Relationships:

Rebecca - good relationship, even if I wish it were better - 63%

Bobby - Acquaintance. A reporter with bad morals.

Unit Bravo:

Adam-Teammate

Nate-BFF

Felix-Teammate

Mason-RO

Description:

Eyes - hazel

Hair - light brown-short

Height - 5’9

Age - 28

Facial hair - some scruff, just trims it so it doesn’t turn into a beard but otherwise doesn’t style it and lets it be natural

Tattoos - rook chess piece over his heart, line-art tree of life on his right shoulder blade

Clothes - old, worn jeans, old hoodie he took from his father’s things, hiking boots, para-chord watch with compass 

Cologne - never, usually smells like the forest and is more than happy to not cover that.

Glasses - yes

Body type - slender with mildly defined muscle

Voice - low, gravelly, soft

Apartment:

dark

Book 1:

Did shoot Adam.

Joined Wayhaven PD to put mind to use.

Stayed in and got bugged by Bobby.

Confused/Scared of vampires.

Did blood tests.

Did not get bit by Murphy.

Murphy captured.

Inside Evan’s apartment:

Evan likes to have a lot of plants and wood. He is trying to capture the peaceful feeling of the forest and bring it into his home. 

He tends to eat paleo but it’s not an actual strict diet, rather just what he prefers. He is a decent cook but prefers simple, rustic meals with very little ingredients over anything fancy.

Despite having actual lights in he bedroom he usually prefers natural light and almost never turns them on, making his room look even darker. His bed has natural fur he’s bought from the local hunters that he treats better than most of his other belongings, believing that even in death animal are owed a certain level of respect. His bedroom also has the most plants out of any room in the apartment, usually making it smell as close to the forest as he can get without being in the forest. 

Vision for the Future:

Evan isn’t entirely sure where he want’s his life to go. He knows he wants to stay in Wayhaven and with the force but other than that he doesn’t know. He usually finds himself worrying more about the past or present than the future. That doesn’t men he doesn’t worry about it though. His thoughts are often plagued with fear that he isn’t even going to see tomorrow when he does think about the future. The supernatural world is still something he’s getting used to and is pretty scared by, including Unit Bravo sometimes. 

Past:

Evan was even more of a loner in high school than he is now. He never really applied himself in class, making him a C- student at best despite being pretty smart. He had a tendency to leave school when he’d become overwhelmed by the large number of people and run off to wander the woods, something he regrets now. 

In college he just barely graduated, again not really applying himself despite having the full ability to. He was miserable the majority of the time since there were less chances to escape into nature and was forced to live in the dorms until he could afford a cheap apartment. He doesn’t have any friends from either high school or college. The first time he’d actually made an effort to make a friend was with Tina and then Verda. 

[fatgirlsguidetodating]

Note to my 18 year old self.

I’m sure you’ve seen the myriad of iso challenges going round on all forms of social media. On insta the push-up challenge. On Facey the pick one album a day that influenced you for 10 days, the life is good 10 days of photos challenge, the pick a photo of you you love challenge or the iso baking challenge. On Tiktok the weird dance challenge. On Snapchat the iso is getting to me, better message my ex and see if I can fuck with their mind a little more because I just didn’t fuck them up quite enough already and I can’t turn down the chance to fuck with them some more challenge. Oh, that’s not a challenge? Just something they do for fun? My bad.

My point is there are challenges aplenty. And I’ve resolutely ignored every single one I’m tagged in. Because, like the majority of those “get to know your friends” quizzes we often see on Facebook, I simply cannot be fucked. Except one. The write a letter to 18 year old you which landed in my inbox this morning. But I’m doing it here instead, in the anonymity of my blog that only one friend from real life knows the name of and a handful of peeps on twitter who know my name may have seen it linked to.

I apologise though in advance- this might be kinda long. But brevity when it comes to writing is not my forte.

****

Dear 18 year old A,

Firstly: you’re awesome. Just in case nobody told you today. Which I can pretty much guarantee they didn’t. And even if they had would you have believed them? No. Because your sense of self-worth was (is) tied up entirely in your weight.

Which isn’t surprising given you had an unhealthy relationship with food from around the time you entered puberty and suddenly you weren’t the skinny little thing you had been growing up (side note: you will have that unhealthy relationship forever so you should probably address that before you get to 40 and still refuse to eat in public on your own in case people think look at that bigger girl eating food, how dare she! Another side note: don’t actually book that Europe dream holiday for 2020. Write that year off completely because it’s going to be a shitshow).

When suddenly you put weight on you freaked and have pretty much been on a diet of some form ever since. Yes that’s right, for 28 years you will always have that unhealthy view of food and weight. Sometimes you’ll go days, even weeks with just eating the one meal- dinner because you couldn’t hide not eating that from your parents whereas you could pretend to eat breakfast or the lunch and snacks your mum packed for you. (You’ll do that even at 40.) Sometimes you’ll get depressed and sneak junk food into your room to eat at night and throw the empty wrappers over the back fence onto the pipeline. Sometimes you’ll make yourself throw up whatever you ate and sit on the floor of the toilet in tears. Sometimes you’ll find a middle road. But the food relationship was never, ever healthy and it will, in some form, define the rest of your life. If you get some perspective on that and change that view your life will be so different. But you won’t.

It wasn’t that you didn’t do any exercise either, you played a few sports and school holidays and weekends were spent outside riding your bikes, playing footy or basketball or splashing around in the pool with your friends. It was just your luck to be a bigger girl. (And even though there are time’s when you would get down to near a healthy weight something would happen and the weight would pile back on.)

I know people scoff at the notion of being bigger boned or that some people are just meant to have a little weight thing (though science does talk about the fact that some people are genetically predisposed to gaining weight easier than others) but you are the spitting image of your grandmother when she was your age and have the stocky build that your paternal side of the family often have. But

in all honesty no matter what you will try it won’t work. At least not permanently. Which is precisely why the fact that your self-worth was so tied up in your weight was an issue. And remains an issue.

It’s hardly shocking that this was the case though. You’d see the ideal of a perfect girls body on “Dolly” or “Girlfriend”, or on tv- there wasn’t the added pressure of social media which is something I am eternally grateful to in so many ways even now- and hate yourself.

You’d see your skinny friends having boyfriend after boyfriend while you didn’t. And when, in year 8 one guy asked you out you assumed it was some kind of dare. It wasn’t and you probably should have said yes but that’s in the past and is not a decision that would make a huge impact to your life.

You’ll suddenly be of age to go out drinking with your friends. However a couple of them will use you to drive every Friday night and you will do it because you can’t say no to your friends but you really should because it wasn’t fair. Just because you were the only one with a licence and car you could have found other ways there or simply refused since it meant you couldn’t have a single drop of alcohol whilst they got shitfaced. But on nights out- whether you were drinking or not- guaranteed you’d be one of the only ones without any male attention. Though, in the fairness and slight objectivity that hindsight can bring, this could have been due, in part, to the fact you’d hunch into yourself and hide in a corner because the one time you did get drunk and have a dance a group of guys pissed themselves laughing at the fat girl dancing. (And it wasn’t because you couldn’t dance- you actually do have decent Rythm and did dance growing up.) You should allow yourself to have more fun, you shouldn’t hide the corner because who knows what could have happened.

But promise me you won’t let that lack of self-worth lead to you missing out on some of the best experiences you could have! Say yes to that Europe backpacking holiday. Say yes when a guy asked you on a date rather than assuming there was some kind of dare involved or that they thought you would be easy because you were a bigger girl. Say yes to so much more.

Secondly: though you didn’t have the confidence to stand up for yourself and what you wanted then- and to some degree never will- you need to follow your heart. Despite your absolute love of the law from the time you read “To kill a mockingbird” when you studied literature and your time doing legal studies as an elective during your VCE you should study what you want to at uni. Yes you will always love the law but you shouldn’t let people pressure you into what to study at uni. It was a given you’d go to uni. But you should put social work as your first preference and law as your second preference.

Don’t let people talk you out of studying what you wanted to do because it didn’t pay well. Yes at 18 the idea of making good money was a drawcard but years down the track you will decide to go back to uni and finally get that social work degree to go with the legal ones and postgrad ones. Career wise this will work well as the justice system desperately needs social workers and your time working in the legal arena fostered a life long love of the law. But follow your dreams here. Because money isn’t the be all and end all. And, with the benefit of hindsight here, I can say you wouldn’t be in the position you are in at 40 now.

Thirdly: though there are some mistakes you needed to make- after all isn’t that how we learn?- there are others you didn’t need to make. Others that will make life unnecessarily hard on yourself. I can see now, so many years later, that many of these stem from your lack of self worth and self confidence due to your weight. For instance you need to not give people more chances than they deserve (in both friendships and relationships but more on that to come). Instead of giving them infinite chances decide on a three strikes and you’re out policy and this will honestly save you a lot of heartache I promise. It won’t save all, and it probably shouldn’t because it’s from heartache that you will learn and grow, but it’ll save a lot.

I promise you life is worth living. On those many occasions when you will cry yourself to sleep for nights on end and on those occasions when you half-heartedly try to kill yourself it won’t feel like that but it is. And when you first realise that there’s something wrong please, please don’t think it’s just you, that you are a fuckup, don’t suffer in silence. Tell someone. Be it your parents, one of your best friends, even your doctor. Because it will effect parts of your life for a long time and there are times that it didn’t need to had you got help.

You need to be less trusting and naive. Because not everyone has the same morals in life as you. But at the same time please don’t let the hurt make your heart hard. Because your big heart is one of the things that those who know you love about you. That’s right: your friends love you. The person you see in the mirror does not represent all of you. That won’t matter to them.

You need to follow your passions in life. Like work on those novels more, remain working in animal rescue, do those courses that you wanted to do like learning sign language, and philosophy.

Fourth: Don’t put off that travel. It’s literally the best thing you could do. It will allow you to find yourself, to discover more about the world, to gain new perspectives. Don’t wait until you are older and wiser. Also that travel fling? Do it.

Fifth: Not all friendships should be watered. But you will allow your friends to walk all over you because you are so desperate to keep everyone happy. Only: what about keeping yourself happy? You matter too. So when friends use you, when friends make you feel shitty about your life walk away. You’ll find that, as you get older, the true friends will be the ones who remain. They’re the ones worth it.

Which leads me to six: same goes for relationships. There will be men in your life that shouldn’t be there and there will be men who aren’t but should be. There will be a couple of men who will totally define your life. And not necessarily in a good way. Take J for instance. He’s your first big mistake and he will fuck up your view of men forever. That will lead to you not trusting that a man can be decent. And it will lead you to making bad choices when it comes to men. So if you could avoid sleeping with him you’d be a lot better off. Because he doesn’t care. And he lied to you all about being separated.

Please don’t let that lack of self worth that drive you into situations you deserve more from. But you will. For many years. After all your lack of self-confidence, self love and self worth will all contribute to this. Because you’ll think what have I got to offer, this is the best I’ll get because who’d want a bigger girl. You won’t realise it at the time, and it will take you another 22 years to do so, but you deserve good things in life and in love. And eventually will learn that being single is better than settling for less than you are worth. Know this too: sex does not equate happiness. I mean yes there’s a happy feeling after sex but it doesn’t mean they have any feelings for you. It just means sex. Don’t let yourself believe it means more or that would lead to heartache.

Finally: there are actually good things about you. I know you can’t see them now, I know you wouldn’t believe me even if I told you, but there are. 40 year old you can see them. Though she would still have trouble admitting them because her self-confidence has not gotten to the levels where she can list good things about herself. But trust me: they’re there.

Don’t let the world get you down. There’s so much to see and experience. Just say yes!

40 year old A.

[heartists]

ursula’s plastic surgery transformation revised and extended.

so a while ago i did a post on the plastic surgery procedures that ursula would get done after she gets out of jail, and how much it would all cost. and then i thought, well, since kylie jenner spent $2 million on HER plastic surgery, isn’t $128,900 a little……underwhelming? can’t the derosiers be so much more extra? and then i remembered i had her undergo a magical transformation as well as a scientific one. and thus, this post was born.

i want to start off by saying by conventional beauty standards, ursula is fairly unattractive. i here, you can see for yourself. she has smallish, beady eyes with her left eye spaced further away from her nose than her right; they are bright in color (pink) but dull in expression. she has a very flat face with a flat nose and a weak chin, and her profile lacks all definition. her hair is thin and stringy--it takes all the hair gel in the world to get it to curl. her lips are thin, her mouth is rather wide, and she has off-white teeth. and i know i drew her eyebrows thick in that picture but tbh i decided to make them thinner--they’re not very defined and almost disappear into her face. in addition, her body is more of an oval/apple shape than the hourglass shape she desires--small breasts, flat v-shaped butt, gains more weight in the midsection. she’s very skinny--thanks to her dieting her BMI is in fact somewhat underweight--but the fat distribution around her middle makes her look heavier than she actually is. ursula’s features improve with makeup, but still, she’s not as attractive as a typical celebrity. she knows this, and it hurts.

all of these things have caused both ursula and her mother great pains. ursula more or less constantly fixates on the fact that she takes after her ugly father and is drastically less attractive than her mother, who is renowned in china and in the west for her beauty and grace. part of why she wants to get plastic surgery so badly is because she wants to be as beautiful as her mother in the eyes of the world, or even one-up her. the other part of why she wants to get surgery is because lila herself has been pushing her toward it: she’s ashamed of having such an ugly daughter, and wants to “fix” her to look better. ursula expected her entire life to be given surgery, but lila wanted to go even further.

enter the world of transformation.

yes, every surgery is a transformation, but i’m talking about magical transformation--the type that one could only dream about in fairytales. surgery can only go so far in terms of changing a person’s features--often the changes are subtle, working around and enhancing what a person already has in order to make them look “better.” but with magical transformation, you can go further. in the real world, a stick-thin woman will never have the figure of nicki minaj even with the best butt augmentation, but with magical transformation in the pokémon world, she absolutely can. in the real world, a dark-skinned person will never be able to bleach their skin fully white, nor can a light-skinned person don a permanent tan, but with magical transformation, this is also entirely possible. on top of that, magical transformation is often known for producing, on average, better results than surgery: it relies on regrowing and reshaping natural features, working entirely with what the body has to offer rather than pesky infection-causing implants. and finally, magical transformation does what no amount of human surgery or other science can: it can also modify the body’s functioning (such as where fat is distributed) so that the results stay the same throughout time. for example, if you want to do some lipo on your waist, magical transformation modifies the fat cells and even the metabolism so the fat will never go back on your stomach.

why isn’t everyone using it? well, the thing with magical transformation is, it’s extremely rare and extremely expensive. there are only a select few people on the planet, vessels of arceus--less than one ten thousandth of one percent of the population--who can learn the techniques required to perform such magical operations. and of those select few, the vast majority refuse to perform cosmetic magical transformations either on moral grounds or because they simply weren’t interested in learning it. of the ~5,000 or so arceus vessels alive today, only sixteen of them worldwide are both able and willing to do cosmetic magical transformations: two in galar, four in america, seven in south korea, and three in china. this scarcity means that they can charge whatever price for their services they want. this further means that, instead of a paltry $128,900, ursula’s family had to fork over $25 million in order to give her the makeover of her and her mother’s dreams.

some of that came out of taxpayer dollars.

on top of the changes that i have listed in this post, the following changes were also made:

fat distribution change so that when she gains weight, most of it goes to the boobs and butt.

tooth whitening.

chin enhancement, to balance out the face.

eyebrow thickening and reshaping.

height adjustment--went from 5′1″ to 5′10″.

eyelash lengthening.

skin tanning.

hair thickening and texture change to make it naturally curly and thicker.

note that any implant changes are instead made by magically inducing the body to grow in those specific places.

ye a h, she got a lot done.

this was supposed to be her fairytale, her perfect moment of transformation that would change her life permanently for the better. but problems dogged the procedure and its aftermath, to the point that most people wouldn’t do them. for one thing, lila wanted a very different result from ursula. ursula agreed to get her face modified in the way that lila had constantly told her she needed to: bigger eyes, a more high-bridged nose, a more defined profile, fuller lips. but lila wanted to give her a more streamlined hourglass figure and wanted to keep her pale, whereas ursula wanted a strong tan, DD boobs and a christina hendricks ass. when ursula protested, lila said that she was the one paying for the transformation, so she could get to change her daughter’s body in any way she pleased. but ursula secretly cut a magical deal with her surgeon that if he disobeyed lila and gave her the body she wanted, he would get half of her earnings from contests, music and modeling for the rest of her life. his greedy ass of course disobeyed, and ursula walked out of that room looking exactly the way she wanted to--and there was nothing her mother could do to stop it.

there was still more trouble to come. instead of obsessively counting calories and whining about how she “had to” restrict her eating to the blandest foods, ursula began to pig out on whatever she wanted to eat--knowing she was magically enchanted to have all the weight go to her boobs and ass. but given that she was enchanted to look like that instead of naturally looking like that, there were…problems. the way the weight distributes on her body is not natural at all, and so when she gains weight it looks unnerving to a trained eye rather than pleasing. in particular, she likes big booty but not big legs, but doesn’t seem to understand that if you have a big booty you will also have the legs to match. so when she gains weight, it makes her ass look even more disproportional to her smaller thighs and especially to her tiny calves. she has thousands more instagram followers now that she’s transformed, but many people have also pointed out that it’s fairly obvious how fake she looks. there are other unnatural aspects to her appearance as well: her eyes are slightly larger than a normal human eye to create that uwu uwu animu look, and even though they now have an alluring sparkle to them that wasn’t there before, they can be unnerving rather than charming. there is an illusion over her nose to make it look impossibly thin. her tan looks a bit like a spray tan. and her eyelashes--they look like she has fake eyelashes on, they’re way longer than a normal human’s eyelashes would ever be. her lips are too big for her to talk with comfortably, so her voice changes for the first several months to something really derpy- and pinched-sounding. oh, and did i forget to mention she started to have health problems when she started eating whatever the fuck she wants? she got prediabetes, which i have also had when i went through the phase when i ate whatever the fuck i wanted. don’t do it, kids. it’s not worth it.

people have put her on blast for promoting an unrealistic body image, because her proportions are literally impossible for a natural human to attain. but in her eyes, the criticism she gets from the outside world pales in comparison to the criticism she has from her mother. lila, who had been banking on the transformation to finally give her the ideal daughter she had always dreamed of, was disappointed by her child yet again. the more ursula flaunts her unnatural face and figure, the more disapproving and distant lila grows from her--speaking to her only to criticize her appearance, heaping hate for it on her even higher than she did before the transformation took place. literally as soon as ursula stepped out of the operating room, lila demanded that he take her back in there and redo according to her specifications, or else she’d sue him--but she couldn’t sue him, because he’d already made an irreversible magical deal with his patient. ursula literally wouldn’t have cared less that so many people thought she was still ugly because in her own eyes she had finally grown beautiful, if not for the fact that her mother--from whom she had unhealthily sought approval all her life--agreed with the people who found her unsightly. gradually losing her mother’s “love” is quite possibly the worst consequence of them all for her mentally………one that will eventually drive her to the most desperate of acts.

[bigassmoody-blog]

Basic Information

Full name: Alastor Barov Moody Pronunciation: Al-us-tor Ber-ov Moody Nickname(s): No. None. Birthdate: November 5th, 1982 Age: 36 Zodiac: Scorpio Gender: Male Pronouns: He/Him Romantic orientation: Panromantic Sexual orientation: Pansexual Nationality: English Ethnicity: White British Current location: London, England Living conditions: He's lived in the same flat since after college, mostly because if it isn't broke, don't fix it. It was a good place, he could get in and out discretely, they allowed dogs, it was easy to get into and tucked into a nice little street, his neighbors were chill. Only problem? He hates elevators and the stairs weren’t an option right after he lost his leg. So he had to pick everything up and shift into something a little more accessible. He ended up buy a small little two bedroom place (complete fixer upper) and has been slowly working on it. He's relatively clean. He has house plants all over the place~

Background

Birthplace: London, England Hometown: London, England Social Class: Middle Educational achievements: BS in Criminology with a minor in music Father: Sergei Ravenia Moody Mother: Irene "Ireena" Tatyana Moody Sibling(s): Berez "Marie" Petrovna Moody Birth order: Marie is 3 years older. Pets: Luna. Previous relationships: TBD, but hmu cuz I want one Arrests: … No Prison time: Nope Occupation & Income: He’s doing alright Current occupation: Detective Inspector Dream occupation: Retirement when there's fucking world peace Past job(s): He worked at an animal shelter through college Spending habits: It comes in waves. He'll be fine, then suddenly get really invested in like… baking cookies or something and then end up buying a shit ton of cookie cutters and good pans and things like that. And then he'll get too busy for it and get back to work, until, you know, he learns about diy mechanical keyboards and tries to build himself a nice one. In debt?: Uh, not bad. He's doing alright, just paying off some medical bills still. Most valuable possession: His prosthetic leg. That'd be a bitch to replace.

Skills & Abilities

Physical strength: Above Average | Average | Below Average Speed: Above Average | Average | Below Average Intelligence: Above Average | Average | Below Average Accuracy: Above Average | Average | Below Average Agility: Above Average | Average | Below Average Stamina: Above Average | Average | Below Average Teamwork: …Hahahahhahaha Talents/hobbies: His true talent is cycling through useless hobbies. He likes adventure sports Shortcomings: I mean he's got one out of two eyes, one out of two legs, and, after the amount of concussions he's had, half of his original amount of brain cells. He's stubborn and will take risks. Languages spoken: English, French, German, some Arabic Drive?: Yes Jump-start a car?: Yes Change a flat tyre?: Yes Ride a bicycle?: Yes Swim?: Yes Play an instrument?: Yes Play chess?: No Braid hair?: No Tie a tie?: Yes Pick a lock?: Yes Cook?: Yes

Physical Appearance & Characteristics

Faceclaim: Charlie Hunnam Eye colour: Hazel Hair colour: Blond Hair type/style/length: It's usually cropped pretty short, but sometimes he gets lazy and lets it grow out. Once it starts getting in his face, it's haircut time. Glasses/contacts?: Uh, well he has a glass eye. Covers it with an eyepatch. Dominant hand: Right Height: 6'1" Weight: 88 kg/ 194 lbs Build: Broad shouldered, muscular, very defined. His legs and ass aren't as great as they used to be, so he's working on that. Exercise habits: He works out frequently with the intention of getting back to his pre-accident body. He'll hit the gym almost daily. He also has a set of exercises and special care for the leg, which he makes sure to do. Skin tone: White, but tanned from too much time in the sun Tattoos: Many. I'll be posting a reference soon, but he has a full sleeve that's all flowers. The rest of his body's covered with various nature themed tattoos. Piercings: Nah Marks/scars: Very many. He's got some on his face, deep cuts that go from his left eyebrow to his upper lip, cutting through his eye. He's also got plenty of scrapes and scars from injuries that never healed right. Got his leg, there’s that. Clothing style: He's supposed to wear a shirt and tie for work. Definitely has to keep his tattoos covered in that environment. As soon as work's over, the sleeves get rolled up, the tie's gone. Weekends, he dresses pretty casually. Jewellery: Nope, none :( Allergies: Idiots. Diet: He follows a pretty strict diet and takes it seriously. He'll count calories and watch his proteins vs carbs, etc. Physical ailments: None

Psychology

MBTI type: ENTJ Enneagram type: The Challenger Moral Alignment: Chaotic Good Temperament: Choleric Element: Earth Emotional stability: Debatable Introvert or Extrovert? Extrovert Obsession(s): Currently: dogs, pretty people, how to season cast iron skillets. Past ones: Pokemon go, candles, and the justice league comics Compulsion(s): Doing stupid shit because if it could possibly get the job done, it's worth a try Phobia(s): Enclosed or tight spaces Addiction(s): Thrills Drug use: I mean the man's got meds, that's about it Alcohol use: Yup Prone to violence?: Nah Prone to crying?: Nah Believe in love at first sight?: Yea (maybe not for him, but he believes it)

Mannerisms

Accent: Rough, he drops consonants Speech quirks: He uses the word no more times than anyone should Hobbies: He likes DIY projects and is super hands on, fucks with shit around the house often. He also has a new hobby like every month. Habits: tapping his fingers on tables, wrinkles his nose, he makes a stupid snorting half laugh noise a lot Nervous ticks: scratching his beard Drives/motivations: He has a way that he… sees the world, I guess. He wants it to be a certain way and when it doesn't, it drives him crazy. So he very much feels the need to fix that. He also really needs that antique record player back from Lucius, especially because it's most likely just collecting dust in a corner somewhere. Fears: Being alone Sense of humour?: Playful and teasing and probably a little bit mean sometimes because he doesn't know where that line is until he's crossed it Do they curse often?: Yup…

Favourites

Animal: Dog Beverage: Cold beer Book: A book of poems an ex gave him Colour: Deep green Food: Pizza Flower: Sunflowers Gem: Opal Mode of transportation: Motorcycle. He had to Uber a lot after losing his leg. It's been a while, so that shit's now modified and ready to go. Scent: Woodsy, earthy tones Sport: Dirt Biking Weather: Snow, but only if he's visiting and not in it Vacation destination: He'll always try something new and doesn’t like going to the same place twice. He's been making his way through some of the best hiking spots in the world, though.

Attitudes

Greatest dream: Climbing Everest Greatest fear: cheap beer, letting people who rely on him down Most at ease when: He's high on painkillers in the hospital after a surgery Least as ease when: A thundery night when he can't get to sleep, like there's too much energy in his body with no place to go Worst possible thing that could happen: admitting he's wrong about something Biggest achievement: his niece saying he's her favorite adult Biggest regret: trying to sand and varnish the cabinets himself, pretty sure he's ruined those

[preserving-ferretbrain]

Golden Girls and Lost Boys

Shimmin considers a Disney film much too seriously for anyone's good.~

Spoiler warning for Tangled.

Recently, I went to watch Tangled (in 3D! not that it matters, and because there wasn't an alternative, but there you are), the new Disney Rapunzel film. I'm not planning to do yer'actual review of it, and I'm not that interested in getting into heavy analysis of the plot or logic or of a Disney film based on a fairy tale, because that would be silly. It was fun, it was more-or-less for children, it was funny, it was sweet if a bit saccharine, it had an awesome horse. Their version also seemed quite original, which is something I tend to forget about Disney films. Anyway, this article is not about that. It brought up some vaguely interesting issues that I thought might be worth waffling about in case anyone else also found them interesting.

Synopsis

The Disney plot is rather different, and people might not be over-familiar with the details of Rapunzel anyway, so here's the gist. A drop of sunlight falls to earth and grows into a magical flower (just go with it, okay?). An old woman finds the flower, and discovers that if she sings a particular magical song to it, it glows with healing light that temporarily restores her youth (ditto). She hides it and uses it to stay young and beautiful for an unspecified but long time. The Queen becomes ill while pregnant, so they send the army to find the fabled flower. They make a healing potion from it, which works, and the child is born as a beautiful golden-haired daughter (it wasn't entirely clear when the mop of hair appeared, but stick with me here). One night, the old woman sneaks into the palace to steal a lock of hair, believing it'll have the same healing properties. But when she cuts it, the hair loses its power. In desperation, she steals the baby. Nobody knows what happened to the princess, and they never find her. Every year on her birthday, they release Chinese lanterns to remember her.

Eighteen years later, thieves break in and steal the princess' crown (presumably a traditional item from the treasury) which is handily kept on a cushion beneath a skylight with all the guards facing away. They're pursued, and one (Flynn) splits off from the others with the crown, escaping the guards but still followed by an angry horse. He finds a tower in a hidden valley, which seems like an ideal hiding place. Sadly, he's beaten unconscious by an 18-year-old Rapunzel with a pan, and stuffed in a cupboard. Rapunzel wants to go and see the floating lights she's spotted every year on her birthday, but her mother won't let her. After yet another argument, which dissuades her from revealing her prisoner to her mother, she decides to make the man take her instead while her mother's away. Wacky adventures and angst and excitement ensue. The two fall in love, and are followed by the old woman, who uses Flynn's betrayed partners to set an ambush, and sets it up to look like he's abandoned Rapunzel so she'll accept her mother's advice and won't try to leave the tower again. He escapes, comes to see her, is mortally wounded, and has a pointless heroic moment of sacrifice that is negated by Lurve. Old woman crumbles to dust, Rapunzel is reunited with her family, and all live happily ever after. Except the old woman, and presumably the now-imprisoned Stabbington Brothers.

Family Matters

One of the things that was vaguely interesting about the film was the family issues it brought up. The thing that really got my attention was right at the end, during the reuinion, when the narrator (i.e. Flynn) says something like: "...Rapunzel finally had a real family..."

Let's leave aside the likely problems for a girl brought up by a single parent in humble surroundings in a small tower, who's barely met a handful of people in her life, joining two unknown biological parents of immense wealth and power who live in a massive castle and incidentally becoming the biggest celebrity of all time. I'm sure there will be no issues whatsoever getting accustomed to that. Or long-term trauma associated with the violent death of the woman who brought her up and whom she sincerely loved. This is a fairy tale. However, it does get me thinking about families.

The old woman is never named in the story. I do wonder why; perhaps to stop us having any sympathy with her, though villains in other stories are named, or perhaps they simply couldn't be bothered inventing a name. It does dehumanize her a bit. Anyway, I'm going to call her Agnes. So Agnes has, indeed, kidnapped Rapunzel to use her supernatural power so she can live forever. This is Not Okay. And she keeps her trapped in the tower so she won't either leave her, or be found by anyone. The thing is, apart from that, she treats her as a daughter.

Now, I am not going to claim she's a great mother. She's controlling and emotionally manipulative, which I suppose isn't that surprising when she's keeping Rapunzel there basically by force of will. She's only tepidly affectionate. On the other hand, Rapunzel's very comfortable and, apart from a desire to see the outside world, she's pretty happy. She has nice furniture and playthings, nice clothes, and an apparently endless supply of hobby materials. They don't seem to have a luxurious diet, but neither do most peasants; and Agnes makes a point of cooking Rapunzel's favourite food when she visits. She's also educated her brilliantly: although a tad naive, she knows everything an ordinary, non-imprisoned girl would know. She recognises Flynn as a man, knows what birthdays mean, how drowning works, and when she's in danger. The outside world doesn't really phase her, so she must know about nature and geography, and she seems to have a decent grasp of society and normal behaviour too. She's articulate, intelligent and very pleasant. In fact, given the difficulties of the situation, Agnes is one of the most successful child-raisers I've ever heard of. It's very clear that, right until the end, Rapunzel is very fond of her mother. Regardless of Agnes' ultimate feelings towards the girl, she treats her extremely well so far as the situation allows. Compare, say, Cinderella or Snow White. Agnes may not be a great mother, but she's actually not a terrible one.

I was talking about this to Dan, and he summed up my argument here as basically: "Apart from kidnapping a baby, pretending to be her mother, bringing her up alone in a tower for eighteen years and deceiving her for her own selfish ends, she's not a particularly bad mother". The thing is, ridiculous as it sounds, I think that's about right. The things she's done wrong aren't really about how she raised Rapunzel, but more general wrongs that intertwine with that. The problem is that Agnes' dual status as adoptive mother and kidnapper rather complicates the issue.

As far as Rapunzel is concerned, at least, Agnes is her family. The thing that changes that is not really a shift in their relationship, or anything Agnes does; it's seeing a picture of the baby princess and then seeing herself in the mirror wearing the crown. It's a revelation of Objective Truth ('you are Really the Princess, the Queen and King are your Real Family'), rather than anything about the family itself - right until that moment, Rapunzel thinks of Agnes as her mother and loves her.

There's a decent argument that it's not a good family, because it's built on a tissue of lies. It's also possible that Agnes has no real affection for Rapunzel - she doesn't show any active affection in the film. On the other hand, she's brought the girl up for 18 years, and in that time, I'd have expected things to crystallise one way or the other. The first option is to view and treat her as a useful tool or a pet, in which case I wouldn't expect Rapunzel to be so well educated or comfortable; that's extra effort and liable to encourage further trouble, when you could bring her up cowed and ignorant so she won't get ideas. If, on the other hand, Agnes brings her up as though she was her daughter and treats her kindly, you'd expect some affection to arise on both sides.

Now, I don't think Disney thought much about this one throwaway line and I'm not that interested in decrying them. A fairly normative and slightly old-fashioned way of thinking is par for the course. I suppose the "real family" reference means one with honesty and love, rather than manipulation, deceit and using your daughter selfishly. It means the parents who wanted you and loved you unconditionally, rather than someone who stole you for selfish reasons, whether or not they've got fond of you. In context, though, it had a faint whiff of narrow-mindedness: that what really matters isn't who brought you up or how you felt about them, but your genes (and incidentally having two parents, not just one). The fact is though, Rapunzel actually had a pretty happy family life before all this kicked off.

From My Point of View, the Jedi are Arguably Morally Ambiguous

Although the story glosses over her, I was also quite interested in Agnes and her actions. We don't ever find out anything about her, other than her use of the flower and her relationship with Rapunzel. We don't know her background, her history, or what she does when she's not visiting Rapunzel. Why should we? Rapunzel doesn't either. She's presented pretty much exclusively as a manipulative, selfish woman, whose use of the flower is immoral, and who commits a string of selfish acts to keep herself young and live forever. I'm not sure how convinced I am by that portrayal, or the way morality is defined in this story as a whole.

Agnes is lucky enough to find the flower and discover its powers. She keeps it hidden and uses it to stay young (and therefore alive) for, well, a long time. She chooses to keep it to herself, which is selfish, but I wonder how long she'd get to keep it if people found out about it? She could legitimately have all kinds of worries about that, so keeping it hidden isn't that unreasonable. As it turns out, the first thing that happens when the flower's discovered is it gets taken - so her hypothetical suspicions are vindicated.

Now for a look at the Castle. When the Queen is ill, the Castle mount a frantic last-chance search for the rumoured magical flower, and due to carelessness on Agnes' part, find it. Under her very eyes, they carefully dig it up and take it away to the castle. Someone makes it into a magic potion, which heals the Queen and (probably) saves her daughter's life too.

The issue here is the magic flower. Who has the right to use it, and what uses are acceptable?

The flower just appears. There's no reason it belongs to anyone, but Agnes has as much claim to it as anyone. Agnes uses it to save her own life; the Castle use it to save the Queen's life (and her unborn daughter). While Agnes keeps the flower to herself, nobody else benefits; once the Castle destroy the flower, nobody else can ever benefit. There's a touch of criticism in the film's portrayal of Agnes' actions, as though it were a crime to seek immortality. I don't know much about ethics, but I suspect issues like immortality are much more complicated than "it's bad to try and live forever". The Castle's actions are presented straightforwardly as a good thing. To be honest, I can't really see much difference. From a purely practical perspective, the first is a much more efficient use of the flower. The only real difference I can see between them is that Agnes chooses to save herself, whereas someone else (the King?) chooses to save the Queen. The first is more obviously selfish; but the second involves destroying an item of fantastic potential benefit to the world, which doesn't actually belong to the King any more than it does to anyone else, to extend the life of his wife. Not entirely unselfish.

Once the flower is destroyed, Agnes is doomed. Having and then losing immortality is more of a blow than never having it. She works out that Rapunzel's hair could do the same job, and plans to steal a lock. It's a bit skeevy, and involves burglary; on the other hand, the Castle are responsible for her plight, and taking a lock of hair shouldn't actually harm anyone. I can't really see the Castle giving her one, so theft or death is pretty much the choice. It all goes downhill from there.

In a sense, the story is a series of choices that Agnes has to make, each one more morally questionable. Initially, she chooses to keep the flower's benefits for herself, rather than risk sharing it. Then she chooses to try and steal a lock of hair to regain her lost immortality, rather than dying to avoid a relatively minor crime that harms nobody. She's cheated of that option by the way the magic works. The real problem starts when, panicking, she chooses to steal the baby rather than die. Then she chooses to deceive and manipulate her stolen daughter rather than risk her running away. Then she chooses to genuinely betray her (by acting against Rapunzel's interests) to get Rapunzel and her own immortality back. Finally, when the truth comes out, she chooses to resort to force rather than lose Rapunzel and die. Agnes is stuck on a slippery slope, where each decision makes it harder to give up the immortality for which she's done so much, and makes it easier to take the next and wronger step. What she ends up doing, and her treatment of Rapunzel, is clearly wrong, but it's not nearly as simple as her being a wicked old woman.

One of my friends suggested that one reason why Agnes and the Queen are portrayed differently is that people find it creepy for old people to want to be young and live forever; but saving and extending the lives of young, beautiful people is fine. There might be something in that.

A Bit of a Lad

The other thing I found a bit off about Tangled was its hero. Aladdin had a thief hero, but it was a little different. He was clearly a destitute beggar who stole food to live. Flynn Rider, the hero of Tangled, is also from a humble background, but he's more of a professional thief - all we know is that he's conspiring to steal a crown from the palace.

Now, thieves as heroes are a well-established trope in literature. However, Flynn is clearly not only a thief, but an untrustworthy thief. In the film, he's sort of contrasted against the Stabbington Brothers, his partners, in a way that is clearly supposed to show him in a good light. However, if you look at the details, it's rather murkier. He is willingly engaged in the robbery at the palace, and makes it very clear that it's a chance to live in luxury rather than a matter of need. All three are chased by the soldiers and trapped in a dead-end gully. Flynn offers to climb up and help them after him; they don't trust him and insist he leaves the bag with the crown with them. However, once he gets to the top they clearly believe he'll help them escape too. Instead, he reveals the bag he's somehow managed to steal back, mocks them, and runs off to save his own hide. In other words, he betrays his partners and leaves them trapped in a gully to die at the hands of the soldiers. That is not the act of a hero, not even a thief. That is not being a rough diamond, or a rogue. That is being a treacherous backstabbing git. As it happens, the soldiers spot him and chase after him instead, but that's clearly not the intention.

Rather surprisingly, he does behave mostly honourably towards Rapunzel. He does try to deter her from going through with the plan, but since he's a wanted outlaw liable to be killed if he gets spotted in the kingdom, it's not that unreasonable. He's not doing it just to get the crown back. When she does offer him the crown later, he's in love with her and tries to give it to the Stabbington Brothers. To be honest, though, that came across more as a way to weasel out of any comeuppance for his betrayal and get them off his back, rather than a genuine attempt to face up to his actions or any real remorse. Unsurprisingly, they prefer to exact some revenge.

There's also a scene in the middle where they visit a dive. As part of his attempt to persuade Rapunzel to give up the excursion, he takes her to a wretched hive of etc. This being Disney, a bit of eyelid fluttering and a song show up all the murderous thugs as sweethearts deep down. The fact is, though, if it's even remotely as bad at it appears, he has no business taking her there. All the men there are clearly villainous and criminal, and there are no women there at all. Taking a naive 18-year old girl there, while (as we soon find out) not having the ability to protect either of you if there's trouble, is not only utterly stupid but an unforgivable failure of responsibility.

Despite all this, it's the Stabbingtons who are treated as the real criminals, who deserve only to be locked up. They're also the only characters, other than Agnes, who don't get a happy ending: the last we see of them, they're locked in the castle dungeon. Given that Flynn was about to be hanged for stealing the crown, I don't fancy their chances much.

In a way, neither the Stabbingtons or Agnes are villains, any more than Flynn is really a hero. They're all people who are faced with decisions, and sometimes choose the wrong ones. Agnes does wrong to avoid dying, the Stabbingtons and Flynn do wrong for profit, and the Queen does no obvious wrong. The reason they come across differently is that everyone has different choices to make. Agnes has to choose between crime and death; the Queen doesn't have to make that choice. The Stabbingtons and Flynn all choose to steal the crown, but Flynn's the one who chooses to betray them to death. The Stabbingtons choose to seek revenge when it's offered, but Flynn doesn't have any revenge to seek. Flynn is kind to Rapunzel and falls in love with her, but the Stabbingtons don't get the opportunity. The Stabbingtons plan to capture Rapunzel and profit from her powers; Flynn doesn't find out about them until he's already her friend, she's saved his life and they're well on their way to falling in love. It's not that surprising that, treacherous git as he is, he doesn't take that option. Whether he would have or not, we don't know. But while falling in love might redeem people to one another, simply falling in love with Rapunzel doesn't turn Flynn from a thieving, untrustworthy scoundrel into a noble hero.

Fundamentally, though, I'm thinking far too much about a very fun and nicely-executed children's film that I really enjoyed watching. Let's not take it too seriously.

[itsleafourie]

my vulnerabilities

Your words have an impact.

Lately, I’ve noticed how people start treating you differently when you’re succeeding in life. It is as if your success indicates the absence of their own. The amount of times I’ve stood in front of a mirror, comparing myself to your opinions of a body’s worth, is uncountable. The amount of times I decided what I should wear and what I should buy, according to what you classify as ‘stylish’, is over. Times where I would have rather bit my tongue than disagree with your harsh way of being cold and hard towards the world – which ate away at my inner moral values – made me realize that being negative is no way how I want to spend my energy. I am a very emotional person, and because of this, I experience other people’s emotions very vividly. I get way too attached and invested in feelings, relationships, hobbies and goals. You used this, to your advantage, and attacked my insecurities. Insecurities such as my shyness, weight, personality and hobbies – things that you disvalued in hopes of bringing my spirits and progress down. What did happen though? I learned to fight against your current of hate and came out stronger than ever.

It is funny how society works – in the beginning, my self-consciousness about my weight originated out of a fearful place of being too large. Back then, I noticed how some people viewed me because of my athletic and sport abilities. And, for that short period in time, I am forever grateful. It learned me valuable lessons on how to treat others, on how to appreciate the progress and the feeling of being strong and fit. It learned me that happiness is more than an outer appearance, and no matter how much you diet or exercise, you need to take the mental step to fix your inner voice, in order to really achieve pure health and balance. Later in my journey, after hearing my closest family members and friends tell me that I am too skinny, a new fear of being too small was born. And just like that, because of my fear of what other people might think of me, I was back in middle school with same mental perspective. I started to second guess people’s love and affection for me. I started to doubt others’ kindness and their smiles. In a way, I thought everything was just some kind of sick trick. I grew paranoid and anxious, not going to lie.

Growing through these time periods of paranoia and anxiety – from grade 6 and 7 to grade 10 – I realized that no matter what you weigh, if you’re going to be depended on stranger’s opinions of your ‘worth’, you’ll never find happiness and peace. People still body-shame me, maybe more than ever. Maybe it is because of my success or journey around losing weight, but I sometimes I hear I’m “too skinny”.  

Well, fuck that bullshit.

I enjoy how I work out; I don’t need to explain myself to anyone. On mother’s day, believe it or not, I ate almost a quarter of cheesecake. I enjoy being able to laugh loudly and carefree. I find it amusing and amazing when I slip up and say something idiotic – the growth from being self-conscious around fucking up when I was younger, until now, where I can comfortably say stupid shit, amazes me. I enjoy dancing and singing and acting, not because I am incredibly talented at these arts, but because it makes me feel alive. It makes me feel human. Those little awkward giggles and moments in my day-to-day is what makes me unique. From being shy in the gym to walking around as if it’s just another room at my house makes me feel powerful as fuck. Each day I wake up with the mental goal to define other’s negative connotations with my name, by proving that I am better and worth more than their simple gossip stories.

You see, haters are going to hate. There will always be someone who will say that you’re too healthy or too fat or too outspoken. The key in life, is to life it to the fullest. Love yourself, to the fullest. Work for your goals, to the fullest. Participate in social events, to the fullest. Make a fucking idiot of yourself, to the fullest. Whatever you do in life, do it vibrantly. There is no time and space for dull mediocre individuals who are only concern with the physical appearance of themselves and others. Be magical, be the most authentic person in the room. Love yourself as you would love a friend of lover.

And if you’re one of these individuals who spread hate around like it’s confetti, I hope and wish that you will somehow get out of any dark hole you might find yourself in right now. You’re stronger than your demons.

[abitterlifethroughcinema]

         #ABitterLifeThroughCinema’s WOKE! Film Reviews

     The Top Ten (+1) Best Movies of 2018 and where to find them!

                                                          by

                                           Lucas Avram Cavazos

+1…11. Overlord  Having its premiere at this year’s Sitges Int’l Film Fest, Overlord not only happened to be one of the fave films screened there this past festival, but this cinematic fantasy is an all-too-real and stark portrayal of a horror that actually occurred, and it deserves a nod from the Barcelona film critic family, so here it goes. Duly noted, I’d say. It starts with an insane aerial combat mission on the night of D-Day, one which goes awry and sees only a handful of paratroopers surviving the drop when enemy fire rains hell. They land in provincial France and the plot sets out to detail some of the inner workings of the Third Reich in reference to the insane, gruesome experiments done on captured Europeans and Jews. Those stories you’ve heard about turning these poor people into guinea pigs for super soldier intent using potent, injected serums…yeah, those? They’re true, if you believe the words of JJ Abrams. Are they as utterly brutal and horror/zombie film-like as displayed here? I sure as hell hope not. (now available On Demand and DVD)

10. The Ballad of Buster Scruggs There once was a film called O Brother Where Art Thou? While this is not its sequel, there is a sharp-witted vein to this film that could only be crafted and gifted to us by the Coen Brothers. What a hoot it is, even if it is a rather darkly-tinted hue of that hoot and humour. It is also one of their finest in years. Revolving around the singing cowpoke Buster Scruggs (Tim Blake Nelson) and five other tales brought to us with the commonly-threaded theme of death in often brutally funny ways, this film is a fine return to oddball form from two of the finest sibling directors of all time. Starring Liam Neeson, James Franco, Zoe Kazan, even Tyne Daly and so many in its vignettes, and that acting star power fuses this Western comedy into new territory for the brothers. Their previous works set in the west always seemed to be re-hashing works of years gone by but here, with their usage of almost comic-book-like details and witty banter make this much more enjoyable than their other historical works like O Bother and their remake of True Grit. Best western in absolute years! (available on Netflix or VOD)

9. Eighth Grade This poignant little film, which should have been wide-released everywhere the world over, is given fierce and bittersweet star power by Elsie Fisher, protagonist and student at the heart of this film. Comedian Bo Turnham has brought us the quintessential coming-of-tweenage story and along with Fisher, everyone in this film is so perfectly placed in their roles, especially Josh Hamilton as her dad, who deserves some nominations for this film but is unlikely to get any. Telling the story of 13-year old Kayla, we the audience get a sneak-peek into the minds and lives of today’s young adults. From her simple YouTube videos made to encourage other young kids to her obvious desire to fit in with older kids to her insecurity with boys, this film paints a stark reality that too many have lived through and this little indie film deserves aplomb from anywhere it can get it! (now available On Demand and DVD)

8. A Star is Born I skipped the critics’ screening of this film for the mere fact that I couldn’t bear to see if the acting and plot lines were another torrid take on a much-redone film. Even into the holiday season, I had not yet seen it and then when I did, I certainly took back any reservations. Bradley Cooper’s update of the film starring himself and Lady Gaga is just about as good as everyone said it was, and that was beyond refreshing to note post-viewing. In many ways, I feel that Cooper is likely revealing a few things about himself with the guise of “it’s a movie” being a nice cover; in some ways, he gives us what I believe are hints of his covert life, and it’s with Gaga’s turn as Ally that we really see him shine beyond the shtick of his character, country-rocker Jackson Maine. In a tad corny-tad, gripping way that takes hold the moment you see Gaga, let’s be frank and real, this film goes on to detail a Diet Coke version of the grim realities that often detail too many a tale of celebrity in Hollywood. Without revealing too many details of the film’s plot and denouement, we are looking at a necessary conversation about alcoholism, drug addiction and fame (plus a lack of ’NO’ men/women in many relationships) that needs to addressed for all ages. Well done, Mr. Cooper Goes to the Oscars. (At select screens, On Demand & DVD)

7. El Angel Incidentally, this may be the first time in a rather long time that I say something good about Argentinian men, so do take note. Telling the true story of fresh-faced boy killer Carlos Robledo Puch, played to Oscar-worthy perfection by newcomer Lorenzo Ferro, the masterful detail to which director Luis Ortega has crafted this arthouse meets dramedy-thriller is astounding and easily touches heights set by dePalma and even, dare I say it, Scorcese. We follow young Carlitos Puch, who is just nearing the edge of seventeen, as takes up with a rough and tough family of his devilishly attractive school chum Ramon, played by the spirited Chino Darin, son of Ricardo Darin. But as Carlitos comes to find out, his street crimes can easily be paved to real ones and his sadistic tendencies suddenly yet gradually paint a picture of someone who is in part desperate for attention and tacceptance and in part a fairly smart, well-to-do young adult. He parlays his sociopathy at pubescence into psychopathy with time, and this film will likely be, but should definitely not be, forgotten come awards and Best Of lists time.(available On Demand and DVD)

6. Black Panther As Oscar season comes to a head, it is worth talking about one of the most striking films that you’ll see for a while. Black Panther is that good, not only because of its genre but also because of its message: that seeking freedom through recreating systems of oppression will only extend the ill-treatment and broken nature we find ourselves in nowadays. Set in the fictional African nation of Wakanda, protagonist King T’Challa (Chadwick Boseman) brings us the first real black superhero from the Marvel universe. With a cast including Lupita Nyong’o, Angela Bassett, Forest Whitaker and Michael B Jordan, the acting is beyond impressive. What is even more amazing, however, is how the plot power-plays many elements of our world’s current political climate. (now available On Demand and DVD)

5. Chappaquiddick Another film which is nothing short of striking in its relevance to the current political situation in the USA. Senator Ted Kennedy was the only remaining Kennedy that I was familiar with throughout my adolescence and early adulthood. Jason Clarke as the Massachusetts senator is astounding, as is the cut of his jib and chin, although the accent was a tad weak, to be ever sincere. This is a complete revelation on the many details that were only gingerly touched upon during the course of the week following the death which this movie is detailing . As the facts are laid out in the film, it astounds me that the American people continued to vote and elect Kennedy for decades after. This is a study on arrogance, class and governmental ambiguity. And if that was the case with liberals in the Sixties, how much more so with conservatives in this digital age? My favourite film of last year’s BCN Film Festival. (now available On Demand and DVD)

4. Private Life Good Lawd this is such a heartwarming/breaking story with the finest elements of believable comedy and situational realism that define the art of the classic Gen X film from the 90s to now. May we never forget that it was Gen, and even those a few years before them, who gave us the digiverse-Netflix-instant oatmeal www.orld in which we live today and when I see a very NYC film like this one, it makes it a true reality check. Being the age that one should be married with kids, I watched Kathryn Hahn as Rachel absolutely slay the silver screen and am eager to see if she picks up any more accolades throughout the current awards season. Simple plot…she’s in her early 40s and her hubby Rich (played by Paul Giamatti) is entering his late 40s and they are fully entrenched within the confines of every single way to conceive a baby. Following the couple through their trials and tribulations really get pushed up an ante when sort-of relative Sadie (the lovely Kayli Carter) decides she will be the surrogate mum for them as things get a tad pear-shaped. This could easily be dubbed a dreamed, for in effect, it is; what needs to be known is that this is also a morality tale for a new age. The old-fashioned ethics of yesteryear just do not apply anymore, at least not in big cities, and the less is more factor easily makes this one of the finest films released within the last year. (available on Netflix)

3. BlacKKKlansman Without a doubt, this is the finest work in all too many years by Spike Lee, and he takes no prisoners in letting you know that the spilled essence of blaxploitation all over this celluloid is to egg you into knowing that this story is 100% true…and crazy. The mere fact that David Duke is literally cheerleading for the current President of the United States should scare us all and wake those who are not. Watching actor John David Washington portray Ron Stallworth, the real-life cop who slyly infiltrated the inner workings of the Klu Klux Klan 40 years ago. After signing up for the Colorado Spring PD, he realises the lack of trust in the 98% Anglo-Saxon workforce, as he’s thrown into monitoring the goings-on of any Black Panther student situations. Eventually, he takes up with a guy on the force that he can dig called Flip and played to skilled excellence by the oddest of lookers Adam Driver. Basically, the plot follows the twosome, as they tag team the aforementioned white supremacist movement, Ron being the voice and Flip being the wingman as they start an investigation on grand wizard bastard himself David Duke, played to troubling perfection by Topher Grace, evoking all of the calmness and utter sociopathic tendencies of a man reviled by most yet revered by still too many. And watching this taut film and how it rolls through such a daunting story with comedic aplomb and vicious realness gives you goosebumps. That said, as the film gets toward its ending, is when Lee gives you the goods when he flashes to scenes from the crazy Charlottesville, Virginia, riots, AntiFa protesting and subsequent death of Heather Heyer, may she rest in peace. God Save the World…and Amerikkka.

2. Fahrenheit 11/9  Premiering a few weeks ago here in Spain at very select cinema screens across the country, this is the first documentary in some time by Michael Moore that could play across an international landscape and should be required viewing on any critic’s or person’s list. The titular oddity refers to the day after we all woke up across the world in shock and awe that Donald J Trump had won the Presidency of the USA. Even if this is not Morre’s best film to date, it is undoubtedly the one that holds the viewers’ feet to the fire and calls for them to fight the nasty funk of this administration. But, it’s when he takes it back to his roots, to Flint, Michigan, and ends up involving all local and state politics, that we start to see the more sinister undertakings happening amongst conservative parties, ideals and societies. When you add in the fact of the Parkland High School shooting and the way Moore later fuses footage of Hitler and his minions and followers with a rally speech made by the current occupant of the White House, it becomes all too obvious that things are exactly as we think they are (A HOT MESS!) and we have very little recourse rather than claiming truth. (now available On Demand and DVD)

1. ROMA There are tender moments of realism that are permitted to happen with the rise of instant cinema on VOD and direct-to-home films, and it has been a pleasure to see that sites like Netflix and Amazon and Canal+ have truly added to the foray in which great celluloid can be brought to the masses. Case in point comes the finest piece of dramatic celluloid that graced the silver screen in the last year. Being a Mexican whose father is a naturalised citizen of the US and a mother who is Chicana from the US, like myself and my siblings, the sentimentality ran deep with this film. One of the differences I experienced was the fact that we were the only Mexican-American family in a stately US country club…and we had an entire childhood spent with loving housekeepers, which is what this film inherently is honouring and depicting, using the backdrop of Alfonso Cuarón’s take on growing up in 70s-upper middle class Mexico City in the neighbourhood of Roma. Depicting the life of the house assistant Cleo (first-time performer Yalitza Aparicio in a J.Hud moment, frankly) and the family of Sr. Antonio (Fernando Grediaga), a doctor in the Mexican capital, what Cuarón has called his most personal film to date, is also a B&W modern tale in the vein of Gone with the Wind, and the fact that he centres around a privileged Mexican family is poignant for several reasons: it not only takes a focus away from how Donald bloody Trump has painted Mexicans, in general, to the world, but it also highlights a very human element to how many classes of society function and live there in the frontier regions of North America and, more importantly, EVERYWHERE…easily put, this is a sweet, oft-times simple, oft-times brutal story on humanity. What binds so many critics together on this film’s merits is that fact that Alfonso Cuarón has crafted the past year’s most enigmatic movie, leaving us to make our own answers to what happens to Lady Cleo, her best mate Teresa, and this beautiful family. Absolutely and quietly stunning! (available on Netflix and selects screens across the country)

[whythinktoomuch]

Morgana (merlin), Riley (S8), Sam (SG), Janet (TGP), Gina (B99), Shirley (Thohh), Diana (WW), Portia (GN), Amy (superstore), Kat (TBT), Penelope (odaat), Tara (Btvs), Joel (scd), trish (jj), Moriarty (elementary), Valkyrie (thor). Have fun!

So many… so I’ll try not to dawdle on any too, too long……

Morgana (Merlin):

 I didn’t finish Merlin yet — only just got to the part where Morgana started changing — but I’m inclined to put her in Gryffindor. Maybe Gryffinclaw. Katie McGrath said, and I quote: 

“I don’t see that she transitioned from good to evil. I see that she stayed true to what she believed. Just - she stopped believing what other people told her. If you think about it, no villain thinks they’re being a bad guy. Every villain thinks they’re doing the right thing… they all think they’re doing it for the right reason. It’s just: whoever tells the story, is the hero.”

And honestly, that just sounds like a classic Gryffindor following her gut to the ends of the Earth, even it means turning “evil.” All she wanted to be was herself. And so, why would she subscribe to the belief that what she was was an abomination? She knew what she was and that was enough fuel for her to choose her own path. 

Diana (Wonder Woman): 

PUFF! Clearly and thoroughly. She models a decent Gryffindor, but honestly, that’s just her inner Puff absorbing the values of her community. In the end, when it really, truly mattered, she defied the orders of her Queen (mom?) in favor of saving the babies. 

And she has a lot of inner drive and charges when needed, yes, which are useful tools on the battlefield. But in the most dire or ideal situations? Diana is full Puff all the way. She wants to stop and help everyone even though Steve Trevor tells her there’s no use. That woman’s plea to save her village is what gets her ass in gear, which is when we get to see her in full Wonder Woman regalia for the first time. THAT’S her defining moment. And it’s when she’s charging into battle, emboldened by one woman’s plea. The goal, whatever Steve Trevor said it was, paled in comparison to the people hurting in front of her now. 

Also, she’s inclusive! The scottish soldier froze in battle and couldn’t do the one thing he was hired to do, and when he tried to bow out, Diana managed to pull the one thing he could do (singing) in order to get him to stay. She’s the glue!!! PUFF!!!!! 

Kat Edison (TBT) 

Slytherin. But I feel like that’s obvious, right? Even Adena was like, “you love your friends more than everything, and i love that about you, girl” and she’s right!!! There’s one scene in particular that was really snek…. 

FOUND IT. (can u tell I’m doing this real time? lmao). 

ELENA (odaat): 

Gryffindor. Clearly. She jumps onto cause after cause, heart first, and we love her for it. She’s not afraid to bump heads with anyone because she know she’s right. And when she confronted her dad (after he didn’t show up to her quinceñera), she said it didn’t matter what he did in the end, because she knew she was great and that was all that mattered. 

It’s also why she clashes with her fiery hufflepuff of a mother so much, lmao. 

Penelope (odaat): 

So my previous post was supposed to be about Penelope, but I accidentally did Elena instead… So here’s Penelope. 

Funnily enough, she actually sorted herself in the show and came up as a hufflepuff.

 But here’s what I wrote in the tags on that gifset lmao: 

JOEL (Santa Clarita Diet): 

Joel is so fucking slytherin, and I can’t even begin to explain it right now. The moment he walked on screen, I was like, “hey, that’s me” because it was, because he’s full capable of rearranging his life and morals around the love of his life with only minor adjustment, despite it being such a BIG HONKIN’ DEAL (he started killing people for his zombie wife, what???) 

Trish (Jessica Jones): 

Gryffindor, the kind that wants to save the world too. And she has to do it singlehandedly or it doesn’t seem to count in her opinion (hence the whole season 2 storyline of her trying to get super powers). It’s honestly an unhealthy kind of Gryffindor fixation, and it’s :/ 

The reason why Jessica even began superhero’ing is because of her. As a Slytherin, Jessica shows her love by taking on the morality of the people she cares about. Trish wants to save the world, so for her, Jessica will save the world, sure. 

Moriarty (Elementary): 

Is a Slytherin who hides behind a Ravenclaw performance (like Lena Luthor :D), but her penchant for conning, adapting, being generally slippery (emotionally and not) is very telling. Plus, she will drop her entire criminal enterprise / career because her daughter was threatened? HM. SNek. 

The rest I just have hot takes that I don’t have textual evidence to back it up (yet) and/or subject to change, so I’ll just go rapid-fire: 

Riley (sense8): gryffinpuff, maybe? she was the least interesting cluster member to me, tbh. Sorrry! 

Sam (supergirl): I can’t do this one. Haven’t seen anything past season 2. 

Shirley (thohh): Let me finish the season, and I’ll get back to you. Leaning toward claw or gryffindor though. Maybe a very angry puff. Who knows. 

Portia (Great news): gryffindor 

Amy (superstore): ….. er…… … . .… not slytherin. Maybe Ravenclaw. Or a disillusioned puff. 

Tara (btvs): Huffleclaw. 

Valkyrie (thor): I think a closed-off Slytherin, who’s warming up by the end of Ragnarok… ? 

[1shirt2shirtredshirtdeadshirt]

TOS Tag Game

OK for starters YAAASSS, feel free to tag me in these every time because I too want to talk endlessly about Star Trek TOS and am always excited to feed the fandom beast.

@burning--amber tagged me in this greatness -- I apologize for the delay but you know, I did have to find a publisher who would sign off on this fucking NOVEL. Because that is actually what I wrote in response. I am so sorry. 😂 When I say I’m here to talk Trek I MEAN I am HERE. To get up to the podium and PREACH THE GOSPEL. I encourage anyone following me who’s thirsty to talk TOS to jump aboard, tag me and give us the T! I want to hear from y’all! 

1. Which is the most defining moment for Spock and Jim as couple, in your opinion? One which left you most shaken?

Wow, yes. Ohhhh no. Let’s talk about this. (Who let me out of my cage?) There are so many strong moments in TOS, my GOD. Amok Time is the most infamous and blatant, you can’t really skate over that big guy because -- because -- YOU KNOW WHY. IT’S AMOK TIME. This is the elephant in the room which will stomp you to death if you ignore it. I can’t let myself write a paper with a works cited list on Amok Time right now, I just can’t. That episode -- I mean -- it was literally getting sucker punched in the junk with a slash fandom awakening. Kirk sacrificing command? His career? Risking his life?! Spock becoming completely void, utterly gutted, and a husk of a destroyed existence in the aftermath of what he believed to have actually done to Jim? I don’t know how it’s possible for anyone to watch that episode and not get steamrolled into a human pancake at how real and obvious the Spirk relationship became right then and there. IN THE 60′S! Yup just bros though, just bro things. 

I did let myself practically write a paper on how huge Devil in the Dark was for Kirk and Spock -- you get to see two individuals who each have a valid point, who both believe fiercely in their own standpoint, and who ultimately end up adopting one another’s views. It’s a beautiful demonstration of what they mean to each other as equals and as individuals -- how in sync they are and what a significant mutual respect they share. 

Throughout the series you’re hearing and witnessing Kirk’s rather open way of expressing affection for Spock. Plato’s Stepchildren is one of those rare opportunities where we get to see the depth of Spock’s feelings for Kirk via his own words and actions. And it is intense enough to make up for how difficult it can be sometimes to get a clear window into Spock’s perspective. It was all out there for anyone to see after Spock witnesses Kirk getting mistreated and nearly being made to inflict harm to Jim. You really get an understanding of just how powerful Vulcan emotion can be in that moment, and holy God, does he have strong feelings about Jim. 

But if we’re talking all-encompassing canon then for me the most defining moment for Spock and Kirk as a couple throughout the entire series has to be Spock’s epiphany in sickbay after making contact with V’Ger. We know something happened that catalyzed a rift and separation between Kirk and Spock, and this is the moment their whole relationship comes full circle. The look on his face as he’s lying there shaking his head and saying “Jim . . . I should have known.” Jim’s blatant desperation as he clasps Spock’s shoulders and begs: “Spock. What should you have known?” And Spock reaches for him. My heart drops through me every time he takes Jim by the hand, locking their grip as he stares him dead in the eyes and says: “This. Simple Feeling . . . is beyond V’Ger’s comprehension.” And Jim is overcome, bursting, and he wraps his other hand over their already entwined hands and just nods. Spock nods wordlessly back. That was acceptance. It was acknowledgement. It was forgiveness. It was walking through mental, physical and emotional hell with AND without someone and coming out on the other side again to find each other once more. It was fucking love. 

As for the one that left me the most shaken . . . it’s unquestionably the end of Wrath of Khan. From the moment that Jim looks over at that empty chair and you feel a shadow of that dread and realization, Jim pushing a member of his crew out of the way and the entire run down, having to take three men to hold him back from trying to go in there with Spock with tears in his eyes . . . I mean, when we love somebody -- truly, genuinely love somebody -- we might throw around the idea or firmly feel -- believe -- say -- that if given a choice, you’d die for that person. But in living that moment, Spock actually did exactly that out of love. He knew what had to be done and he decided to sacrifice himself for his own family -- for the whole crew of the Enterprise. But there was a reason that the sole person kneeling down in front of him weeping, reaching for him and seeking out his hand, hearing his last words, and sharing his last moments was Jim. It’s so powerful, so utterly heart shattering, such a raw and sad depiction of love, and it turns me into a hot human mess every time I see it. THE FRONT. OF THE SHIRT. IS SOAKED WITH MY TEARS. EVERY TIME.  Ahem. So uh, that just happened. There’s Chapter 1. I mean question 1. I swear to God I am not going to write chapter books for each one of these. *Wipes forehead nervously*

2. Which alien race deserved more? What do you think could have been improved upon?

Two episodes really stand out for me as outstanding in the quality of the story; I find Balance of Terror and The Enterprise Incident captivating.They sort of ghost around that decadent and dark history that Vulcans and Romulans share -- they let you see a bit of it, but there is a lot of mystery surrounding it. They pique your interest in wanting to get a better look at those cultures to understand them. Oh trust, I was beyond curious. I was frothing. I know that other Star Trek series have offered us more in terms of the Romulan backstory and history, but I really had a thirst to know more during TOS and I would latch onto whatever crumb they would toss out. Honestly, I would watch an entire series based entirely on ancient Vulcans and Romulans. I mean it, I am thirsty as hell. 

3. What is the most disappointing thing about TOS for you?

In all honesty? The fact that it got cancelled after three seasons!!! We were robbed. F u c k i n g   p i l f e r e d   b u t t   n a k e d. I’m sure there was so much ground to cover with the show that they never got a chance to bring into fruition and that frustrates me. If we’re talking some aspect within the show, those occasional moments with women that were so blatantly objectifying -- the ones that kind of jarringly reminded you that this was still made in the 60′s. I acknowledge the time it was made, but it still stings to see that sometimes if I am being entirely honest.

4. Who gets the Mr/Miss.Congeniality award if you were the judge?

I would have to say Uhura. She doesn’t get the kind of screen time that Kirk, Spock and Bones do, but I find the moments that she has with other characters to be very telling. How they react to her and treat her reveals a lot about how valuable and meaningful her presence is aboard the Enterprise. They all have such an immense love and respect for her. You just don’t really see confrontations with Uhura and other crew members -- it’s so rare compared to other members of the crew. She seems to be that person who brings brightness and light and joy to people who may be feeling very out of sorts, low on morale, or lonely in space. I also love that she canonically sings for the members of the crew to lift their spirits and help them unwind. There’s something so pure and warm about her character while also showcasing strength and professionalism in the same vein. 

5. Which section of Enterprise are you most curious to see which was never filmed?

The room, turbolift, or jeffries tube that Kirk and Spock would drag each other off to so they could make out, because we all know that it happened. (I digress. Truth be told, it was less about seeing a section of the Enterprise and more about getting a little more intimacy with the crew. I wish there had been more time for moments like seeing them getting ready before work, interacting with their rooms, showing us little glimpses of who they are and where they come from. So I guess having access to more on a personal level with the individuals -- the crew is the section of the Enterprise that I am most curious to see which was not filmed intimately enough to whet my curiosity about them.)

I have two questions.

1. What was the defining episode that you watched that made you go: Yup. I am 100% on board for this. WHERE ARE THE REST. I AM SOLD. THE CHEQUE IS CASHED, I HAVE MADE THE PURCHASE, GIVE ME THE STAR TREK.

Second . . . 

2. What. The fuck. Happened in the story between Season 3 and The Motion Picture. I legitimately live on a steady diet of fan theories about this and I’m starved to death. I don’t care if that dead horse has been beaten to glue, I can’t not talk about it. I love hearing what people have to say about that time period. Seriously. What happened between Jim and Spock. 

I WANT ANSWERS! I WANT THE TRUTH!

(You know that nobody could possibly know that and you also know that Gene Roddenberry passed away in 1991.)

*Grabs collar shakily* ASK HIM ANYWAY. 

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I really should stop here. 

(No obligation, just love and admire your blogs! I’m curious what y’all have to say if you haven’t been tagged yet! <3: 

@queenofgol @ashayamspirk @thisisnotahetship @startrektrashface @demonicvulcan @pansexualspirk @homosexualspock @cptkirksnipples )