#i really cannot believe it got that bad again
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
I need to yap desperately about one single gripe I have with this game. MAJOR MAJOR MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD read at your own discretion
The first half is me ranting about how much certain things mean to me and how impacted I was, and the actual gripe comes closer to the end.
I'll preface this by saying this post is about Varric's death and my rage and despair regarding it, but more so about my Rook's.
I've seen people who said they picked up on the hints about whatnot, who knew before the Fade Prison. I was not one of those people. I was so relieved when I saw him after the Prologue that I didn't think twice, because I knew that it would destroy me the second shit started going wrong.
I was already not having a good time when I started the game simply because Varric was getting older. I don't handle aging well or death, and his design showing his age, and the comments he would make about "getting too old for this" just made my heart break.
And then shit got worse. I sobbed disgustingly when that knife went into Varric's chest.
After Rook woke up from talking to Solas and she heard Varric, I was so gods damned relieved. And my Rook was better taken care of by Varric in that year she spent with him than she was in the rest of her entire life.
I cried from the end of Ghilan'nain's fight until the romance scene and on and off after that. I got so used to visiting Varric just to be comforted by his presence. Inquisition was the biggest part of my life for a year and a half when I was just a kid.
I did really bad middle school age writing for it but regardless of the quality, those characters were built up in my head becoming even more than they were in the game. Varric was my biggest support character through everything I was going through at the time.
I don't talk about it much, but I didn't have a great childhood, and I know a lot of people didn't, but I coped with it through writing and video games. Varric was the one supporting me through the abuse I suffered and writing was the way I processed how bad things really were.
When Rook was in the prison she said "What am I going to find here?" And Varric said "I think you already know, kid." I DIDN'T until he said that. The second he said that my entire chest tightened and I just said "No" out loud as I watched Rook find his body.
Now for my real complaint!!!
Rook never gets the chance to grieve Varric. They go from talking to him every day to finding out he's dead and it was all a lie. I have personally never been more fucking pissed at Solas than I am now. But Rook comes back and they have that kind of "closing off" scene with Varric's empty bed (which was so hard to go through btw). And then they fuck their pookie LIKE I CANNOT BE THE ONLY ONE UPSET ABT THAT
FYM I gotta find out my dad is dead and then Rook is up for boning like there's no fucking way unless it's to cope. And at least pertaining to the Lucanis romance, Rook is processing everything that happened and they can say "So much has happened, I just don't know how to feel."
And rather than getting to process that in some kind of way, the devs said nah this scene serves one singular purpose, and Lucanis says "I do" and then dicks them down.
Personally, I felt very dismissed despite being overjoyed about finally having the romance scene, I couldn't even enjoy it with everything that happened prior.
Rook deserved the chance to completely break down after everything they went through. Tbh i don't know how they kept it together. Varric said "don't get all misty eyed" and i thought to myself that's way too delicate a term for what's happening here, I was fully ugly crying.
Fuck your "I had a good run" I still need you bitch.
All this to say I'm very upset, and I'm running my second playthrough and every time I look at, hear, or talk to Varric I tear up again. Wtf Bioware.
Rook should've gotten the chance to actually talk about what Solas did to them, especially in the sense that he made them believe Varric was still there. Or at least get to properly grieve the person who was their closest friend for a long time.
I have very strong feelings about this obviously
#dragon age the veilguard spoilers#dragon age the veilguard#datv spoilers#datv#datv varric#dav#dav spoilers#dragon age#dragon age 4 spoilers#dragon age 4#dragon age dreadwolf#dragon age dreadwolf spoilers#dragon age varric#varric#varric tethras#da varric#dragon age the veilguard companions#dragon age the veilguard romance#lucanis#lucanis dellamorte#rook x lucanis#da4 lucanis#dragon age lucanis#lucanis x rook#lucanis romance#lucanis spoilers#taylorās a yapper š£ļø
69 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
The Loyal Pin - Episode 15
Before I actually began this recap, let me just bask in Patricia freaking the hell out when Kuea's pregnant wife, who she was warned about, actually shows up to the wedding she forced onto Pin.
Well it if isn't the consequences to your dumb ass actions, Patricia!
LOOK AT HER!
Oh shit! And now Pin has passed the hell out! I knew a girl in high school who would pass out whenever she got in trouble, and we all thought it was a medical condition at first, but one time, she passed out on the band field during morning practice, yet fell in such a way that her flute didn't get damaged, and the entire band spread that news like wildfire, so I, a kid who would NEVER be caught dead near the band hall, heard about it by second period, and homegirl was roasted accordingly in fourth period Stats when someone told her to pass out before the test so we could get out of taking it but to make sure not to damage her the calculator. Point is - Pin is band girl. This is triflin' behavior. This is not a medical condition.
And Prik is just rubbing salt in her wounds. "Anin was fighting all the way until the bitter end for your love, but once she realized you were still going to marry a man who had a whole ass pregnant wife, she decided to go to the beach instead of attending your dumb wedding"
I really disliked Aon at the start of this show, but now her faces with Anin on this beach trip are amazing because Anin is going through it, and Aon is just like, "You wanna put some cucumbers on your eyes since you've been crying so much." She is helping, but also judging, and I like that.
This is what a true ally looks like. Shit was going DOWN in his palace, and all he could think about was telling his sister.
Take notes, Anon! Ya sloppy!
Look how happy a Blue Beauty is when her girlfriend's wedding is stopped by the pregnant woman nobody would believe existed. She is smiling for love. I'm smiling for spite.
And Pin is wearing Anin's color as she, too, looks up at the sky. Glad Prik's little guilt trip worked.
PENELOPE, NO! NOT AGAIN, GIRL!
Okay, existential crisis Barbie. Quit being so damn dramatic.
Penelope planned to go through with that wedding, yet is acting all sad because Anin didn't immediately rush back to her. BARBARA! YOU'RE DOING TOO MUCH, SIS!
And now Patricia is wearing Pin's color to show she cares. You know what would show she cares? Her actually apologizing TO PIN! Her saying "sorry I fucked up and told you to die" or something like that. Doesn't haven't to be those exact words, but anything would be better than the NOTHING she is doing right now.
Penelope always has a dream about Anin leaving her or DYING, and even in her dreams, Penelope is too damn dramatic. Ā”CĆ”lmate, gĆ¼ey!
Wait. Is this green or orange? Someone needs to get the colorist on the phone because night time does not make a dress an entirely different color!
But the entire scene is beautiful, so the colorist made some decisions, and I cannot say they were bad decisions.
Anin laughing while Penelope is in pain is food for my petty soul.
Because Penelope is too smart to be this dumb! How did she not realize that Anin was upset that she was marrying a man and moving that man into her palace? Anin TOLD her that, but did she think Anin was joking? WTF, girl. Shut that pretty mouth of yours. I've heard enough stupidity come out of those beautiful lips for a lifetime.
Now Anin is laughing at Penelope in the house! Thank goodness because Penelope is still wildin' with these ridiculous questions! She knows nothing happened between Anin and these other women because she HEARD Anin crying about her MARRYING A MAN, yet has the audacity to pout. Penelope, just pass out again, so we can stop hearing you say irrational shit.
Anin is wiping her down with a blue towel *wink* but the green/orange dress is throwing me for a loop, so I cannot properly enjoy this.
For two chicks that just got back together after shit hit the fan when their relationship was exposed, they do not have any sense of self-preservation. Standing out on the balcony hugging each other after having sex is a choice. The wrong one.
WHY IS ANIN APOLOGIZING TO PATRICIA?! And why hasn't Patricia apologized to Pin?! And why is Anin still wearing green?! She is not a Green Girl! There is nothing chill about Anin!
There is one episode left and I need Patricia to apologize to Pin and for Anin to wear pink for her Pink Person because Pin is struggling with her color still. Quit playing with my emotions, show!
This mama is scared. She has me convinced that the closet is better than telling the dad. I'd listen to her, but Anin would never because she has no chill; therefore, she is not a Green Girl. GET THAT COLOR OUTTA HERE!
At long last, we have made it to the final boss. I don't play video games, but if this is anything like Kirby, shit's about to get messy!
But I know all will end well since Anin still has to wear pink to solidify her love for Pin.
Or this really will be the final stage of Kirby.
Pink. On Body. NOW!
#the loyal pin#the colors mean things#color coded girls in love#episode fifteen#I hate Patricia#and I'm pissed at Pin#but I love this show#kuea was defeated#patricia has been humbled#so now it's time for the final boss#AND FOR ANIN TO WEAR PINK!
32 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
Maeveās storyline but right!
I have always though the Maeve plot line didnāt made sense and recently I read a fic (spencer reid x reader) where reader was a serial killer of serial rword and I thought how much better that couldāve been.
Maeveās plot line was weak in many ways. My biggest pet peeve is that it was that aggressive from the start and Spencer did nothing, which I donāt find in character. That meaning her stalker (Diane).
Letās assume his first consult with Maeve was pretty normal, how could he imagine she had a stalker? But in order to keep talking to her they went through using letters first. And maybe Spencer thought it was romantic and interesting, but pseudonyms? Thatās a bit much.
Spencer knew all along about her stalker, he tells Hotch that much after she goes missing. So you are telling me Spencer found out this girl he likes isnāt leaving her house, she is hot using her phone and is using letters to communicate with pseudonyms to protect herself and didnāt do something? I agree he mightāve been respecting her wishes, but by this time Spencer has been working with the FBI 9 years, he is not naive as he was, he is a social protector, it just doesnāt makes sense he let it go that far.
Again, from the beginning is crucial here because I donāt think he wouldāve let it slide just like that. If it had grown progressively while they were together, yes maybe their attachment wouldāve clouded his reasoning, but by the time they started talking Diane had made Maeve quit her job and broke up with her fiancĆ© so??? It just doesnāt make sense for HIS character. I believe that at leasttt he wouldāve investigated by himself.
But non of that happened so the plot just doesnāt cut it. Instead, if it wouldāve been a serial killer? Thatās interesting.
Point 1. A serial killer who kills men that are serial rapist is in many ways human. Itās imposible to not like as audience. And Spencer is often the one who empathizes with the criminals (lol beautiful baby š„ŗ).
Point 2. Her story couldāve been a great episode, we couldāve seen how smart she was (something from Meaveās character) but at the same time how traumatized she was, her story, how evil are the men she kills. She couldāve been the same age as Spence, he couldāve done the interview, connect, blah, blah, blah.
Point 3. I think they couldāve find a way were they didnāt have anything to really hold the case, victims (of the men) not pressing charges and friends who offer alibis for her. So she makes a deal with Spencer because she is also tired and she knows she cannot stop. A letter once a month because she likes his big brain.
Point 4. She is arrested but gets her letter and Spencer gets his, where she is smart and interesting and whatever. Out of nowhere they are writing themselves not just once a month. And they talk every sunday. (Again part of Maeve storyline, everything was there!!!!) (Also I think she couldāve been an assistant for a geneticist and help him with his migraines)
Point 5. And everything is good and they form a bond but Spencer would never admit he likes her and maybe even feels something more, because he is a good guy. But in this time he starts to read every philosopher that has written about good and bad (also talk it with Blake!! best part of the Maeve plot).
Point 6. After this we are only missing her dying and I wish I remember the name of the fic but something similar could happen. In the fic she scapes prison with help and goes to find Spencer because she knows of a human trafficking organization and she wants to liberate them, so she kinda kidnaps Spencer and they go there. Because she wanted to do it, deep down Spencer knows this a suicidal mission for her.
Point 7. They get there, she gets kill by local police but she saves women and children and got to spend her last day or two with Spencer, the only person that made her wished everything she did never happened and maybe she couldāve have a great life.
And ta-da! we traumatized Spencer with an interesting plot that makes sense (at least for me). And far more complex I think, something that maybe even MGG wouldāve like. But who knows, is this against copaganda???
33 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
.
#tw eating issues#say it with me#we do not work out to burn calories but to feel good and do something nice for ourselves#working out is not a punishment and is supposed to be fun and not make us feel like we didn't do enough#we do not care about how many calories any food we eat has#we will not restrict our food intake#the number of calories in food is irrelevant#the number on the scale is irrelevant#the way our body looks is irrelevant#jesus christ how do i have to teach my brain all of this all over again#why is it doing this to me lmao#stop being so obsessed with numbers#what is it about numbers that makes my brain go so insane#i have really stop all thoughts related to food and calories and weight and my body#no more obsessing over numbers#no more arbitrary rules related to food#this is so annoying#i really cannot believe it got that bad again#ffs we've been over this a billion times. and yet.#I'll be in another city over the next 4 days so maybe that's an opportunity to really focus on life rather than weightcaloriesfoodexercise#exams are coming up. i still have 2 term paper deadlines this month. there's a country I've never been before outside my room that i could#explore#i don't think the way I'm spending my days here is quite. right..#void screams#tbd probably#resetting my brain real quick
2 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
my mum picking me up this morning: you're not as hungover as i thought you'd be
me, just yacked in an alleyway: yeah haha
#it's 3pm now and i still cant believe that happened that was. an experience#basically my mate's 21st coincided with her sister's 30th so they both had this big joint Event last night#where they literally rented out a farm house and the field nearby and set up a whole campsite and barbeque and everything#it was really random but also really good esp bc ive been friends with this girl since we were super young#and our mums were friends so ive just got. lots of connections to her family and it was nice seeing them all again#but there was fully like 60 people at this thing and i DID drink more than i meant to but i wasn't paralytic which is good#and my hangover ISNT that bad in terms of how bad my hangovers can get#it's just that my mate's dad picked us both up at 9am this morning which was already going to be... rough#and then proceeded to do the bumpiest drive down the country lanes ive ever experienced#i was literally grinding my teeth like i am NOT about to throw up in this man's car please if there is a god do not let me throw up#and i didn't! my mum picked me up from this (thankfully very quiet) road that has this rickety old alley coming off it#and i had the very humbling moment of 'im actually going to be sick aren't i' and had to WAIT FOR AN OLD WOMAN#TO FUCKING MEANDER OUT OF THE ALLEY AND WALK FAR AWAY ENOUGH FOR ME TO AT LEAST HAVE A SHRED OF DIGNITY#and proceeded to throw up. in a public alleyway. at 9:30am on a sunday. so of course i needed to tell you guys about it#im now force feeding myself garlic bread. im going to manchester tomorrow. i have a flight at the crack of dawn on tuesday#what is even going on anymore#also fully did just do nos last night with some 30 year olds. i cannot express how fucking odd a thing that is for me to do#actually no i can express it bc youse know that im funny about drugs so for me to not even be that drunk#and get offered a fucking balloon of all things and be like 'yeah why not!' is.... odd#i know i inhaled wrong though bc it didn't do a thing which honestly im happy about <3#hella goes home
28 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
worst thing about being disabled is that now I am fully and completely aware of exactly how much I am worth to everyone I know. And it is not a lot!!
#like. it gets to me. A lot of the time itās ohhh your life is priceless and. Well. Okay I did just see you put a price on it though.#like. Itās not always blatant but the laziness comments get to me. The stupid comments get to me. The money comments also get to me.#Either all life is precious or I am a drain on society. you cannot have both.#Why is my life worth less than twenty dollars. Better yet why are YOU gambling with MY life. wear your FUCKING masks.#like Iām usually fine bc I simply do not have the capacity for any more shit. I am existing in less dimensions than most ppl and Not Aware#And then when I am better I experience two entire years of Concentrated Cosmic Horror before I fold back down into being two dimensional#Cosmic horror? Eldritch horror? I DONT ACTUALLY KNOW. what I do know is that I straight up Do Not believe in the soul anymore bc of this!#like Iām horrified!! It is literally horrifying. If I still had all of me I could write some deeply fucked up metaphor but rn what Iāve got#Is like. okay so Iām supposed to be like. A galaxy on the inside folded into a person shape. Right#thereās stuff happening in there. three to five trains of thought at once etc. etc. and that is not what I have anymore. what I have now is#like. One planet and a white dwarf. not even a neutron star. And everything else went out so gradually that I didnāt really notice but#I woke up one morning and itās not there and then I got into the habit of not looking up bc thatās a lot of work and I have to keep paintin#galaxies on the ash of this stupid little planet. And then I experience random bandaid treatment and Have The Knowledge again and.#I get to experience Platoās allegory of the cave in REAL TIME and involuntarily!!#It really does suck that the only time I am able to comprehend the magnitude of my loss is when Iām not experiencing it!! bad times!!#Iām tired of being agreeable. Wear masks. Petition for air purifiers in public spaces. Or I start biting for real#if you notice Iām dealing with long covid a. BADLY. youāre right!! Gold fucking star! I challenge ANYONE to deal with The Bullshit actually#Iām not going to let myself be martyred for the fucking. Economy. Bull FUCKING shit.
3 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
i love being sick its my most favouritest thing ever (kill me now)
#just a load of garbage#tw illness#i cannot believe im sick aGAIN#actually yes the fuck i can#i did so much last week and i barely rested#like my rest was going to school#do you know how sad that is#also last week i broke my record for amounts of panic attacks in one day#we got to 7#only one during school tho#it was a bad one tho lmao#like i couldnt breathe for a good like 5 minutes#i was genuinely just sitting on the rehearsal room floor shaking while my teacher was like 'nope dont you dare' every time i tried to leave#i couldnt really stand up so yeah it was fair#anywho#dont mind me yall
4 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
Oh my god one last thing my ex took me to outside lands and when we tried to watch lana del rey he laid down on the grass and had a āpanic attackā (this was after months of him talking about how he didnāt like her) so we went to see foo fighters after a bit and he was FINE
#LANA i know his sister works for you BUT TRUST MY WORD AND GIVE ME A FREE TICKET PLEASEā¦#MY FIRST TIME SEEING YOU WAS RUINED GIRLā¦ she was so good too like i was saving her songs to spotify that night#im reliving all this because i found out a lot of his exes and ex friends hang out together and two of them invited me so it was me an ex an#d an ex friend just swapping stories and first of all. he said he got cheated on by this girl and she NEVER DID IT (HE would have emotional/#angry outbursts at HER though) (allegedly heās acknowledged to her that the cheating never happened too) and 2. this is obviously making me#mentally rehash everything again. i feel so bad for his current girlfriend and also for the person i āāstoleāā him from though i really hesi#tate to blame myself after hearing about his patterns. first of all he wouldve done this with anyone who was vulnerable around him and secon#d i was the only reason he was at all honest with them. he was fully planning to gaslight this ex and me and his dad had to convince him not#to. they look like theyre happy now and im very happy for them over that. oh my god that man was evil he told me for WEEKS about every time#his then partner had talked shit about me while i made clear that i didnt care and wasnt very interested but he kept going. god i cant belie#ve this was my life a year ago.#the one thing i can say is that i out freaked him because throughout our short relationship i made him so insecure that a week after i told#to never speak to me again he called me asking if he really was ugly.#I CANNOT BELIEVE I HAD TO TEND TO A GROWN MAN WHILE LANA DEL REY WAS RIGHT THERE BECAUSE HE WAS SO OPPOSED TO BEING AROUND HER. LANAAAA#times like these i get so mad i dont know what to do but ultimately remembering that he has not achieved any of his goals because he refuses#to face himself really helps me. god man IVE achieved some of his goals and i wasnt even trying to#a really awful part of all of this was all of the friends who knew him taking his side. because they didnt know him well enough to know what#he was actually like.#i was talking to my ex friend of four years and she was like not to blame you but he was probably really vulnerable from his time with [ex p#rior to me]āā because heās been going around alleging that that ex was abusive. and she was implying i took advantage of him. so i had to go#into detail about what an awful awful person he was and the sort of state i was in when this relationship took place. hannah lee you are#not seeing your little jehovahās witness heaven.#anyways redirecting this energy im very happy with the way my life is and the way i am now. and im grateful for it i would not have ever bee#n able to imagine having the sort of peace and motivation i feel now. life feels like it can and will change for the better and it keeps pro#ving that right all the time#it just hurts sometimes having that as my first experience and not even being able to vocalize what was wrong bc i just didnt know hurts#oh i forgot one of his besties can see my account bc weāre sort of mutuals. i doubt heās looking he did the whole unfollowing the ex bc sheā#s allegedly amoral thing after the breakup but if he is hi isaac#he did on rare occasion show me selfless kindness but ultimately your best friend is a creep. i donāt want to be involved with anyone from#our school but I hope you know this and I hope youāre proud
3 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
Fanny, my sweet, beautiful girl
17.11.2012 ā 14.04.2019
#my art#artists on tumblr#I cannot accept that it has been 5 years already#I know covid messed with everyoneās sense of time but it simultaneously feels so much longer and so much shorter than that#exactly five years ago I was holding onto my mom for dear life and sobbing as we watched lilo and stitch together#not the best movie to watch when youāve just lost your first ever pet you know#and then I cried myself to sleep at the next morning we never mentioned her again#I know itās because it was way too painful for everyone involved. but I do wish I was allowed to process that grief properly#instead of bottling it up and pretending everything was okay until I was reminded of her#feeling like my heart was being shattered over and over again every single time#well anyway. enough of that. Iāve allowed myself a nice long cry today and got most of it out of my system#and once I was feeling okay I decided to draw her#and I can count the number of times Iāve drawn animals on one hand so.. Iām not too sure about the result#but it felt like to commemorate her in some way.#so yeah. here she is. my dear girl. the best dog in existence. she was always so affectionate and kind#which I didnāt always appreciate bc of how young I was. when youāre a kid it feels like pets will live forever#never barked. never bit anyone. her only crime was chewing on my mlp and lps toys that I left out on the floor#but Iām grateful she did that. it taught me not to leave my toys lying around and to clean up after myself#she really was taken from me way too soon. ideally she could still be alive right now. but Iāve been down the road of guilt and regret#there was nothing I could do. I was a child. I can only hope that she knew she was loved right until the very end#even if I didnāt know how to show it properly. and great. now Iām tearing up again#I suppose itās unavoidable. April 12th will always be a melancholy day. and maybe thatās not such a bad thing#itās good to have a day when I can freely remember her and cry if I need to. itās healthy. itās better than crying every day#she never liked it much when I cried. always tried to comfort me. thatās the kind of dog she was. I miss her so much#when I move apartments and get a dog of my own Iām getting a spaniel. just like she was#well. maybe a different colour so I donāt end up sobbing every time I look at it. but spaniels really are the perfect breed#I mean. cavaliers especially were bred for love and warmth. thatās just what I need. it will be nice to have someone waiting for me at home#and while I donāt necessarily believe in the afterlifeā¦ I do hope that Fannyās watching over me#spiritually comforting me when I feel all alone in the world. itās a nice thought for sure#and hopefully she wonāt mind me getting another spaniel too much. it will be done in her honour after all. to make up for my past mistakes
6 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
the best place to take nap ? lecture hall.
#sneepiest boy in the world once Iām in here.#even if itās interesting even if Iāve slept well I cannot keep my eyes openā¦#Iāve never gotten this close to sleeping in class beforeā¦.#Also I was thinking again about how I thought Iād make a bunch of nerdy friends and instead#I ended up around the few ppl in really difficult to get into uni who are not nerdy#and then I started thinking about how I ended up in the fandomy spaces in the first place šš#and I really think it was just there was nowhere irl I would get social interaction +fandom ppl are niceys#itās a good distraction itās something to do but I never got into things the same way so I still felt a little othered yknowā¦#So maybe it makes sense šš im out in the world and I donāt naturally gravitate to fan -y spaces. Iām not a good stan.#I became one out of necessity šš#Do u guys like my mile long diary tags bc I have arthritis maybe and writing on paper a diary sounds bad#Also first time anyone believes my hand pain. I really like this guy heās so niceys to me ^_^#his emotional drunk impression is just me in my head always I have to be. Normal. About this.#I really am just rambling itās fun to ramble ^_^ I have lots of thoughts I can only get out in Tumblr tags I guess#a cleansingā¦ my daily Tumblr diary postā¦#I need to get new shampoo the water here sucks my hair is stickyā¦ā¦#It would be really fucked if anyone found my Tumblr this is like in heat waves where dream had his kind of crazy diary of obsession#if they found this it would be like the sending of the texts..#terrible similie but itās true.#well theyāll never see this though so itās cool ^_^#Ok thatās all 4 now c u nxt time
0 notes
Text
The Motherfucking Lizard King
No one at work trusts my boss.Ā
He's smart. He works hard. He's not trustworthy. He hasn't actually fucked anyone at work over, but he's ruined his last two marriages with affairs, and got dumped by his third fiance when he wouldn't sign a prenup. The fact that we all know this is just a hazard of working in a small town.Ā
Anyway: The thought process of the people in the lab is that if he screwed over his first wife, and his second wife, and was probably planning on screwing over his third wife, it would be insane for him not to screw us over. After all, what kind of idiot treats their employees better than their spouse?Ā
I dunno. His kind, I guess? He's had a few chances to fuck us over, and he hasn't taken them. Opposite really. When our parent company was doing furloughs, he stayed in the office almost a hundred hours, talking and talking and talking his way up the corporate ladder. And in the end, no one at our site got furloughed.Ā
He's pulled strings like that before. And it baffles me, right? Because it really does make zero sense. He'll move the heavens and the earth for us, but his wife and kids are afterthoughts. It feels like any moment, he's going to look into the mirror and realize how stupid that is. It feels like I'm betting on him making the same stupid mistake again, and again, and again - like it would be less cynical to believe he was, eventually, going to stab me in the back. But he hasn't yet, and as far as I can tell he's been making that mistake for close to fifteen years, and it's already cost him everything it can. If he was going to learn, he would have by now.Ā
So my position on him is that if he wanted to date someone I cared about, I'd warn them off. I don't trust him there. But I tentatively trust him to be my boss. Maybe one day he'll stick the knife in and twist, and everyone will say Ah, Babs, we warned you, but for now, I accept that he's doing a very predictable, very irrational thing, and I've made my peace with it.Ā
---
My job has glue traps.Ā
No one likes the glue traps, but we don't have a lot of options. Poison's banned by state law, spring traps are banned by company safety, and several non-lethal options tried in the past failed to work. The mouse problem can get pretty bad if it's ignored, and there's some real health hazards in that. Our site has never had a positive hantavirus test, thank God, but the big base about a half hour away has. That guy's gonna be on oxygen the rest of his life.Ā
If a mouse gets caught, we just euthanize it. But more than mice get stuck. Lizards can wander into those traps too, and the people working there have different feelings about the lizards. They don't pose nearly the same kind of risk mice do. They're chill little guys, and they keep the moths away, and they're justĀ
You know. They're friendly. There's something to be said about walking into a room, and hitting the light switch, and seeing two little guys on the wall start to do pushups as soon as they see you.Ā
People used to just euthanize the lizards too, but I had pet leopard geckos as a kid and I couldn't take that so I wound up googling how to free animals from glue traps. Now, when a lizard gets stuck in a trap - which happens once or twice a week - I get some vegetable oil from the breakroom, and a little plastic fork, and I'll spend fifteen to twenty minutes just kind of gently prying the little guys out.Ā
I have a team of technicians that help me operate one of the larger machines. They're real blue collar guys, ex-airforce, and they make me look like a little kid. Being an engineer means they'll look to me as a leader sometimes, which is a wild experience. And I started helping the lizards for my own conscience, but one of the crazier consequences of it has been that it seriously boosted my leadership cred. Because those guys see me, and they go: Hey. If he's willing to fight for a lizard, he's gotta be willing to fight for me.Ā
I cannot overstate how nice that is. Most engineers that want to make a change to a maintenance practice, or try an upgrade, they have to work their asses off to get the techs to buy in. But I can just ask. They already trust me to do good. They know I'm new, and they know I'm not the smartest engineer in the building, but they also know I'm the one who gets lizards out of the glue traps.Ā
And just because of that, they're willing to follow me.Ā
---
My boss has a meeting every month or two. It's typically basic house cleaning stuff - reminders about routines we've gotten lazy on, and updates on future projects. Maybe some warnings about problems coming from higher up in the company.
People are, in my opinion, a bit too cynical about the meetings. It stems from people not trusting our boss, which again, I understand, because it would make so much more sense if he wasn't trustworthy. It's a testament to the man's incredibly unhealthy priorities that he is. But as we made it to the end of the meeting, one of bullet points was:Ā
Do NOT mess with animals in the building.Ā
So I looked at my techs, and they looked at me, and when he got to the point, he was so scathing I actually just wanted to crawl under a rock and die. He said basically that he'd heard some reports about someone in the building handling animals that found their way in and got stuck, and that he just wanted to emphasize how insanely inappropriate that was, not to mention dangerous, and that if he needed to speak to anyone about it again, there would be severe consequences.Ā
I was willing to just take the shame and move on. I was. But one of my techs is old. Old enough he could've retired two years ago. And his actual literal goal is to one day get angry, yell at someone, and storm out. That's how he wants to retire. So instead of biting his tongue like everyone else, he stood up and said: I hate the glue traps. You hate the glue traps. We all hate glue traps. But we've all sat here for years, ignoring the little things that get stuck in them, watching them die, and then Bab's comes in, and he is the first person in decades to give enough of a shit to start pulling the lizards out. And I don't want him to stop.Ā
Get humane traps or shut up but we are not going back to the old way of just letting things starve.Ā
And my boss actually froze up. He got all wide eyed and stared at Marc, and then the other techs jumped in, and there was a very small but intense rebellion in the meeting and my boss kept trying to interrupt while getting absolutely bowled over by this gang of angry middle aged air force vets, and eventually he just wentĀ
I will speak with Babylon about this afterwards! After! And then he will speak with everyone else, but I have more points to cover.Ā
So they went silent, and my boss rushed through the last five minutes, and we all adjounred. The techs really didn't like that I was going in alone - they thought our boss was going to try and shout me into compliance. Marc in particular was like, Look, if he tries bullying you, stand your ground, and if he threatens anything, just come get us, and we'll give him hell.Ā
So armed with that, I went to my boss's office. I sat in the chair across from him, and he kept his composure for maybe five seconds before just flopping back into his chair.Ā
I had no idea you were saving lizards, he said, but I'm glad you are. I always hated seeing them die in the glue. Ā
I wasn't expecting that. I was about to ask him what the comment from the meeting was about then, but he answered that before I even got the chance.
A snake got into the building last week, and - someone picked it up and chased a coworker around. Turns out that coworker was severely afraid of snakes, and now it's a shitshow. We're a small site, and now I can't ask those two to work together anymore, to say nothing about how the snake fared after all that. Being upset about that is a reasonable thing, right?Ā
And he gave me a look like he actually wanted an answer, so I said Yeah, totally, chasing a coworker around with a snake is a dick move. Especially if that coworker is already afraid of snakes.Ā
And he said Exactly! and then we sat there a few moments longer. He looked so incredibly tired that I did, actually, feel kind of bad for him. And then he somehow managed to sink even further into his chair, and said
Look, I know I'm not a good guy. But I'm not evil. I'm not some sort of crazy asshole that's going to demand that everyone watch lizards starve to death. When you go back downstairs, could you try to pass that on? That I'm not evil?Ā
I said Sure because it wasn't a hard request, and he looked relieved. I actually made it halfway out before I realized I had a question.Ā
Who grabbed the snake? I asked.Ā
Not supposed to talk about it, he said. But whoever comes to mind first is probably right.Ā
ThatGuy? I asked. And he looked me in the face, nodded his head yes, and said No.Ā
---
The techs seemed a little disappointed that they didn't get to storm the boss's office, but were otherwise in good spirits. They were actually a little bit embarrassed to hear about the snake story - apparently, it wasn't much of a secret. It'd just slipped their minds because it happened three weeks ago.Ā
We did maintenance after that, the same basic repairs we did every week. The meeting had been stressful and it was a relief to work with my hands. When the parts were reinstalled, everything cleaned and smooth and ready to go, Marc found me again.Ā
You know what the lesson of today is? he asked. And there were quite a few answers to that that I could have taken - from don't assume the worst of people to be careful with how you spend your trust - we all need it more than we think.Ā
But instead I said what? because I wanted to hear what his answer was going to be.Ā
That I got your back, he said. Then he clapped one very, very large hand on my shoulder, gave it a good squeeze, and walked back to dosimetry lab.
---
The next day, Marc gave me a package and told me to open it in my office. I was suspicious, but I followed the request.
Cardboard gave way to a small baggie, obviously full of fabric, which opened to reveal a t-shirt that read
"I Am the Motherfucking Lizard King."
I looked at it, I loved it, and then I got an idea. I went to my boss's office and knocked on the door. When he opened it, I asked him if he would be willing to allow something very unprofessional to happen for morale building purposes.
How unprofessional? he asked. I held the shirt up in answer. He gave the shirt a short look over and snorted.
You can wear it on weeks without customers, he said. Which just so happened to include that week.
I'll pass on that it came with your blessing, I replied, and he looked oddly relieved.
Thanks, he said. And then I went downstairs.
---
The techs were very, very happy to see the shirt. And while my boss's reputation remains in tatters, and probably will be until he moves (or dies), the next time there was a meeting, there was quite a bit less complaining about how mere presence. Which is, I guess, a start.
We'll see if he squanders it.
8K notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
please tell me why a boy iām talking to calling me pretty has sent me spiraling
#i think it does have a lot to do w the fact that really only my family has ever commented on my looks like that. āoh ur so prettyā#so of course i was fine w not really being perceived as attractive or beautiful bc i never got those comments really from other people#or when my friends compliment me i just assume theyāre being nice#and i am well aware that that thought process is unfair to them and me but i just genuinely cannot believe it#iām almost twenty three and this is the first time iāve received attention from the opposite sex like that and now iām really really#looking at my looks again and itās just like. i donāt see it. i was very neutral on my appearance bc i know that in a patriarchal society#my worth as a woman is based upon how i look and present#and i really donāt accept that. i am worth a whole lot by myself and iām not gonna let corporations and men tell me what to do with my body#but jesus christ i do so badly wish i didnāt look the way i did#and itās so pathetic to be this upset about it at my big age but what is so wrong with me that no one has ever wanted to be#in a relationship with me? like who would willingly stoop so low? no one wants a lonely insecure woman with no experience#and i know itās pathetic itās super pathetic but it hurts me so bad idk what to do#anyways pls donāt reblog obviously this is just a vent
0 notes
Text
.
#haha love how ocd is based around feelings of powerlessness and lack of control#i honestly have improved so much overall that i almost forget i have it until i either forget meds or something real shit happens#most of my really bad compulsive behaviors are gone other than maybe 3#but the one that keeps rearing up is compulsive cleaning#and i dont mean like#gotta clean room hehe#its like. the world flashes because i get triggered by something either germ or emotional and i have to clean nonstop until The Thing#is gone#usually piles of stuff or like actual nasty#even if it belongs to someone else i have to clean it or else I just cant feel better#which is bad bc boundaries#like i generally can step back and be normal about it but when in an episode i cannot#big sigh#home is the worst bc family is v messy#i do not care about the clutter but dishes dont get cleaned for days and days and sit in stagnated water#and my mom doesnt believe in paper towels or scrubby sponges so i have to use wet rag and then leave it dirty to dry and reuse it :(#no value judgement bc i got that executive dysfunction from somewhere but damn#makes it hard to enjoy food#adhd and ocd combo is so bad bc youre both the cause of stress and your solution#lowkey feels like the manic depressive cycle where its struggle bus then massive surge to fix it and then struggle bus from burnout again#sigh
1 note
Ā·
View note
Text
ā Ėļ½”āąØą§Ė ā make it known (op81)
You and Oscar have been friends for almost two decades and itās been smooth sailing, except for nowāwhen you have to make it publically known you're pining for him to even notice.
oscar piastri x childhood bestfriend!reader smau / face claim: none :D
warnings/notes: none really? one kinda bitchy comment from oscar bc he's king of the sassy man apocalypse. i love this so much, also do we like the new insta post format ?? im kinda meh about it.
liked by oscarpiastri, nicolepiastri, and others...
uruser: last week of cramming before the summer ( and visiting my favorite aussie in monaco ...)
user1: literally my queen.
nicolepiastri: best of luck with finals !!
ā¤· uruser: thank u mama piastri !! š©·
user2: best of luck yn!!
oscarpiastri: see u soon loser
ā¤· ururser: u too bitch <3
ā¤· logansargeant: what book are u reading now??
ā¤· uruser: rereading pride and prejudice again
ā¤· logansargeant:so we're watching it again after monaco ? @ oscarpiastri
ā¤· oscarpiastri: movie night !!!
liked by logansargeant, oscarpiastri, landonorris, and others...
uruser: ' i know im just a fool who's willing to sit around and wait for you ' š©·
user3: stop who are u pining for queen ??
oscarpiastri: now whats all this then.
ā¤· landonorris: u sound like @ georgerussel
ā¤· uruser: lando don't bring more brits on my page pls im scared of u people
ā¤· georgerussell: right, whats all this then?
ā¤·uruser: BACK!!! OUT!!! SHOO!! ALL OF U BOYS. THIS IS FOR THE GIRLS.
user4: oh honey its BAD.
logansargeant: oh this is the approach?
ā¤· uruser: im desperate man.
ā¤· oscarpiastri: wow. i introduced you to logan and you tell him your secrets before me?
ā¤· logansargeant: oscar. i beg you to use your brain.
ā¤· user5: logan what do you KNOW?
liked by laufey, nicolepiastri, oscarpiastri, and others...
uruser: new low: crying over lovesick by @ laufey
oscarpiastri: and you still wont tell me who this is about?
user6: and shes so real for this !!
laufey: NO. i didn't mean to make you cry beautiful :(
ā¤· ururser: you've revived me by commenting so its ok queen <3
user7: hot take: she's pining over oscar.
ā¤· user8: clearly you havent been an oscar fan since prema. this is not a new take LMAOO
user9: oscyn truthers RISE
nicolepiastri: you are too pretty to cry over a pretty song ! be brave and follow your heart !
ā¤· uruser: i would if i wasnt afraid it would all go horribly wrong :(
ā¤· nicolepiastri: trust me, if he's as smart as he was raised to be, it wont!! š
ā¤·user10: MAMA PIASTRI KNOWS?
liked by oscarpiastri, logansargeant, alexalbon, and others...
uruser: we'll end up like always.
user12: second time shes posted that handwriting....
user12: can someone explain how she and the f1 grid know eachother?? im so confused
ā¤· user13: yn is oscar's childhood best friend!! her older brother karted with oscar and logan so she ussed to hang out with them a lot. shes an engineering student at MIT right now :)
lilymhe: oh my god STILL?
alexalbon: this is gonna go to after belgium PAY UP @ logansargeant
ā¤· logansargeant: let me have faith alex please
ā¤· uruser: i cannot BELIEVE you bet on this.
user14: is oscar writing the notes??
ā¤· user15: you might be onto something...
logansargeant: we need to enact phase two. i swear it will work.
ā¤· nicolepiastri: uh oh. be careful logan !!
ā¤· logansargeant: i will mama piastri !
ā¤·user16: god speed logan
liked by williamsracing, logansargeant, alexalbon, and others...
uruser: help me tom cruise !! (i got abducted by williams this weekend)
tagged: logansargeant, alexalbon, lilymhe, oscarpiastri
logansargeant: tom cruise, use your witchcraft on me to get the fire off me !! ( it was great to have you !!)
user17: oscar only in the group photo... logan in almost every picture... yn and logan quoting talladega nights?? we are SO OVER OSCYN TRUTHERS.
williamsracing: blue is a nice change of color for you!
ā¤· oscarpiastri: no >:(
ā¤· uruser: LMAO OSCAR PLS
oscarpiastri: WOW. my TWO BEST FRIENDS hang out WITHOUT ME.
ā¤· uruser: you both hang out without me ALL THE TIME.
ā¤· logansargeant: i am the superior driver
ā¤· oscarpiastri: and who has a seat next year
ā¤· uruser: JESUS CHRIST OSCAR š
user18: IS THIS JEALOUSY?
user19: jealousy on oscar is FUNNY
alexalbon: i would say something but im afraid oscars gonna come at me too
ā¤· oscarpiastri: š§āāļø
ā¤· alexalbon: @ uruser get ur man im scared
ā¤· uruser: not my man
lilymhe: so fun to see you this weekend <3
liked by oscarpiastri, nicolepiastri, logansargeant, and others...
uruser: i forgot cats get jealous....
tagged: oscarpiastri
user20: THE IDENTICAL SHOE TYING PHOTOS IM IN TEAARRSSS
oscarpiastri: the cat agenda is so mean
ā¤· uruser: says the man literally smacking me to get my attention
ā¤· oscarpiastri: it worked didnt it?
nicolepiastri: oscar has always been like that since you two were very young!
logansargeant: phase two complete. good luck soldier š«”
ā¤· uruser: thank u logan, ive got it from here
user21: did they plan to make oscar jealous?? so he would admit he likes yn??
user22: SHUT UP THATS SO FUNNY
landonorris: oh thank god he'll stop whining now
ā¤· user23: HELLO?
user24: OSCAR BEING JEALOUS OF LOGAN SHUT UPPPP
liked by logansargeant, alexalbon, oscarpiastri, and others...
uruser: logans plan worked?
tagged: oscarpiastri
logansargeant: and im still alive?
ā¤· nicolepiastri: oscar won't kill spiders half the time, I didn't think he'd kill you, logan!
ā¤· oscarpiastri: i was gonna ask kmag to hit you again (@ FIA this is a joke.)
ā¤· uruser: oscar PLEASE THE FIA??
oscarpiastri: š§”
ā¤· uruser: wow u have such a way with words.
ā¤· oscarpiastri: my pr team is staring over my shoulder i have to be careful
ā¤· oscarpiastri: what i can say is sorry for being a blind idiot
alexalbon: i cannot BELIEVE this worked?
lilymhe: logan the mastermind, cannot wait to hear his speech at the wedding
landonorris: finally.
ā¤· uruser: lando the strongest man thru this all
ā¤· landonorris: i have heard oscar admit things you couldnt pry out of me.
ā¤· oscarpiastri: literally what?
ā¤· landonorris: ur mother is in this comment section, i can't say.
ā¤· uruser: LANDO TEXT ME RIGHT NOW.
ā¤· oscarpiastri: i was drunk probably
ā¤· landonorris: stone cold sober. after practice during belgium?
ā¤· oscarpiastri: oops.
ā¤· uruser: JAW ON THE FLOOR.
#f1 fanfic#f1 x reader#f1 smau#formula one fanfiction#formula one fic#oscar piastri fanfic#oscar piastri x reader
2K notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
and at the end of the day, people will still hate women.
because beyonce is a terrible songwriter who has a good body and nothing more and she's really nothing compared to olivia rodrigo, that stuck-up bitch who steals other people's music, but taylor swift is an old, bitter nothing who clearly hates other girls. and sabrina carpenter deserves to die because she followed her heart, not her brain, and that's exactly why zendaya will never be good enough for tom holland. don't forget about kylie jenner, who's stealing precious timothee's innocence away and dating her is like committing arthouse cinema suicide, or how we said the same thing about miley cyrus and her disgusting profanity, think of the children, poor liam hemsworth, trapped in a marriage with such a horrible woman. lana del rey was hot until she was big and she made trailerpark sexy until her ass got a little too fat. and ariana grande, talentless homewrecker, and selena gomez, jealous and unreasonable, and hailey bieber, even more boring than the blood drying on the knives you are so quick to pull. sophie turner is a bad mom and megan thee stallion deserved whatever was coming to her.
and amidst all of this, we still don't know these women. we cannot fathom the pain of having a public divorce, one where people choose sides and hurl insults at you until the battery on their phone dies. we don't watch them chase after sweet-cheeked children in tucked-away backyards or play board games with their best friends while their chests heave in laughter. we don't know their marriages and we don't know their solitudes. we don't watch them unravel themselves, time and time again, preparing for the battle that we have made of their lives. they can never make a mistake. they can never cry. they can never be who they believe themselves to be.
and we take all of this and we go to work, we ride the bus, we go grocery shopping, we walk in dappled sunlight, and we let ourselves shrivel. i compare myself to every body i see and i comfort in the fact that i can still encircle my wrists with my fingers. food turns to dust in my mouth when i think about the fact that taylor swift thinks she's fat and people still hate sabrina carpenter for sticking by joshua bassett's side when he almost died, for God's sake, and now the people on my twitter feed are saying GUTS is the worst album they've ever heard. i liked it, the tiny voice in my head cries out. she wrote songs that made me feel noticed. they're calling the song i relate to the most a total skip.
so i close the app. i try not to think about the endless profiles screaming about how much they hate a nineteen/thirty-two/thirty-eight/twenty-three/twenty-six/forty-two year old. i try not to think about how much they would hate me, if they knew anything at all.
#this isn't necessarily in defense of the mentioned women#twitter has just been so disgusting in the past week#and everything written in italics is either a direct quote or paraphrased from twitter so that's awesome#so. yeah#what does this mean you ask#i don't know i respond#olivia rodrigo#beyonce#taylor swift#kylie jenner#sabrina carpenter#lana del rey#zendaya#miley cyrus#ariana grande#selena gomez#sophie turner#megan thee stallion
5K notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
šø vernon dates rockstar!reader.
anon ā "vernon x rockstar!reader whoās a foreigner in an international rock band" ā¤ see also: series masterlist
ā ā anon are u kidding meee. vernon dating a rockstar?!?! my bread & butter (ļ½”ļ½„`ĻĀ“ļ½„)ļ¾ hope this is to your liking!
ā§āĖā©å½” includes: international rockstar!reader, f!reader, long distance relationship, established relationship, pet names, fluff, can be read not in order + headcanons under the cut.
šø headcanons .į
ā prologue.
vernon was never really a big believer in long-distance relationships. or relationships in general, if he's being honest. they take a lot of work, a lot of energy, a lot of effort. his life is already hectic as it is. why rope somebody in to the life of dating an idol? why be with someone if he can't give them his 100%?
it makes sense, then, that when vernon does find someone, it's someone who runs similar circles. someone who knows what it's like to constantly be on the road, to be in the public eye more often than not.
vernon has been a casual listener of your band for a while now. it's the type of sound that fits right in to his playlists. and, okay, fine. he thinks you're attractive. sue him. but he swears he's there for the musicā most of the time. there is a part of him that's there for the performance videos of you shredding your guitar, or the ones where you're screaming in to the microphone.
alright. vernon concedes: he may have a little crush on you.
so you can imagine vernon's surprise when he finds out the two of you are in the same line-up for some american music festival. it's a rare thing, for vernon to ask his managers for anything specific, but he absolutely cannot pass this chance up. he tries to be discreet about it, too. "i really like this band," he sheepishly admits to his manager. "do you thinkā i don't know, i could just say 'hi' to them or something?"
that's how you and vernon meet. on the sidelines of a music festival, where he's so cool about the whole thing. he's more on the soft-spoken side as he tells you that he thinks you're a great performer and that he can't wait to see you live. you'll think he's cute, and you'll thank him for going out of his way tell you personally.
you'll take a photo together. he'll give you a signed copy of the group's latest album, and you promise to give it a listen. (prior to vernon, you might have not really known too much about k-pop. that's something the two of you briefly discussā the differences in your industries.) but, as he starts to bid goodbye, you can't resist.
"tell me," you say, small smile in place. "how would a k-pop idol react to having a rockstar slide in to their dm's?"
vernon's brain short-circuits. your words steal every single thought out of his head, and he's reminded, yet again, of small cultural differences. how much more forward americans can be when they want to. he's about to respond when his manager clears their throat, and vernon remembers his place. he flounders through some lame response.
you apologize for putting vernon on the spot, feeling a bit bad yourself. you hadn't wanted to get him in trouble. there's a little more chit-chat, and thenā "quick," vernon breathes while his manager's distracted with a phone call. "got a pen on you?"
he scribbles his phone number on the corner of the album he'd just given you. "dm's don't always work for idols. but this might," vernon will say with a smirk that's not quite a smirk, and oh. you know this is going to be fun.
it takes a while for vernon and you to agree that a relationship is something you want to attempt. it will happen after months of back-and-forth via text, months of 'will they? won't they?' flirtations. it's going to be long distance in more ways than one. there's thousands of kilometers between you, a thirteen hour time difference, opposite ends of the entertainment industry.
you two agree to give it a shot anyway, because what's there to lose? no hard feelings if it doesn't work out. that's your constant refrain. you'll try. you'll do your best. and if things fall apartā well, that's just how it is.
ā the texts.
except vernon finds it increasingly difficult, as times go on, to imagine a life without you. it's hard to do long distance. of course it's hard. he just thought it'd be harder, but surprisingly, it isn't.
'catch ya when i can' becomes something exchanged as often as 'i love you'. the windows of time wherein the two of you can actually talkā especially when you're both busyā are small, and so it's a bit of a game. vernon races against his busy schedule to 'catch' you, and it always feels like the biggest win in the world. even if it's just a couple of minutes where the two of you are both online, where the texts don't have hours in between each of them? he'll take 'em.
facetime can be a bit of a luxury but it's something the two of you try to do at least thrice a week. a lot of it is quiet snapshots of your daily lives. vernon eats dinner as you go through your morning routine. you get ready for bed as he tells you his plans for the day. it's the epitome of long-distance, how he says 'good morning' and you respond with 'good night.'
there's the fact that it's secret, too. no one can know that the two of you are dating. occasionally, you're linked to other people in the business. it's a grace that vernon is so secure in your relationship that he doesn't really mind. he trusts you, after all, and sees no need to blow things out of proportion. every so often, he'll feel a twinge of envy. but he knows that it's him that you'll text at the end of every day, so it's okay. that makes it okay.
that's why vernon compensates as best as he can. there's a lot of red-eye flights, from incheon to jfk and vice versa. it's easier for you to be the one to come visit him, since your fans don't keep track of you the same way that k-pop fans do. when vernon does make the flights abroad, though, he's always careful to cover up his tracks. to come up with some story of spending time abroad to visit family, to work on 'projects' he never publicly reveals.
vernon goes to your shows when he can. mostly, he watches from side stage so he's away from the view of the public. he likes it that way, reallyā likes being the person you make a beeline for once you've taken your in-ears out. he'll laugh as you bear hug him. he'll keep an arm around your shoulders as he assures you that you did well. "you were so hot up there," he'll tease you. "how am i supposed to function now, huh?"
a cute little thing that vernon and you establish about midway in to your relationship is a 'couple' instagram account, except it's private and it's just for the two of you to see. @11203km (referencing the distance between you two) is a way for you to dump your thoughts/every day lives without flooding your text thread. when it's šø posting, then maybe it's a carousel of your latest practice sessions or snaps of your recent attempts at cooking. when it's š»āāļø's posts, it's likely vernon's tiktok outtakes or his misadventures with the rest of the boys.
vernon had always thought that being in a relationship entailed giving your 100% all of the time. being with you has taught him otherwise. if some days, all he can give is 40%, then he can count on you to put in the rest of the 60%. the same goes for you: if you have weeks where all you can put in is 30%, then he'll step up with 70%. any relationship is work, but if it's you, then vernon is convinced that it isn't hard work. not at all.
ā extra!
chwebacca š¤ think i can join ur band now? ć
ć
ć
š· fansite photos from @Flechazo_0218.
#vernon x reader#vernon imagines#vernon fluff#vernon fic#hansol x reader#hansol imagines#hansol fluff#chwe vernon x reader#chwe hansol x reader#svt imagines#svt smau#vernon smau#hansol smau#seventeen imagines#svt fluff#āā įµįµ ā¦ reqs#[ VERNON DATING A ROCKSTAR!!!! U ARE SO DEAR TO ME ]#[ the extra was really just. i saw it on my twitter tl and i was like Okkkkkkkkkk perfect ]#āā įµįµ ā¦ mine
833 notes
Ā·
View notes