#i realized like 5 seconds after i posted this that the ending implies more of a fade-to-black than i intended

[thedragonagelesbian]

“I had an inkling that I might find you here.”

In the hours since reclaiming Drezen, Knight Commander Kyrith’enderax had not rested a wink. Few in the army had— though, most of them were at least relaxing, partaking in the impromptu and alcohol-heavy celebration that had sprung up in the main hall of the citadel. But Sosiel had found Kyrith’enderax in his new quarters. The bodies of the demons had been removed, the floors scrubbed clean, the bed and walls stripped, save for a lone mirror that served only to double the stark emptiness of the room.

As he was scrubbing away a decade’s worth of grime from the stained glass window, Kyrith’enderax said, “I am not given to parties.” His tone was matter-of-fact, his voice hoarse. Dry as frostbite.

Sosiel gave him a warm smile. “Seelah said as much— told me that the celebration after the Grey Garrison was enough to make you green about the gills.” Kyrith’enderax tilted his head to the side every so slightly, and he scrambled to clarify, “It means uneasy, ill. Forgive me the metaphor; a painter should not try to write poetry.”

“No, forgive me. Figurative language remains new to me. Like parties.” Kyrith’enderax’s eyes—a burning campfire set into the ice of the dhampir’s skin—swept to Sosiel for a moment before he returned to his task. “Like people.”

Sosiel knew little of Kyrith’enderax’s past. Not because he wouldn’t share—he had made it clear that anyone was allowed to ask him whatever they wanted about his past, so long as it was in private—but because Sosiel did not relish digging through old cemeteries. He knew, at least, what Kyrith’enderax had told all of his companions: that he had spent very little time in the real world, isolated for much of his life in a laboratory outside of Mendev where he had been a research assistant.

And he knew how Kyrith’enderax’s jaw had tightened when they found the vampire in Drezen. When Theruk purred, Your sire is looking for you. Oh, yes, Cynfael has been relentless in his hunt for his wayward spawn.

That little gesture had been the extent of it. Kyrith’enderax had stayed stoic through the rest of it— the fight, their companions turning against them, Seelah striking Camellia down to protect the rest of the party from her. Even the execution had been cold, unblinking as Theruk made one last taunt from his coffin—Cynfael has a message for you—and resolute as he responded— I will not hear it. And then, turning away, fist slick with blood, commanding everyone to stay focused on the task at hand.

But Sosiel had known too many soldiers whose stoicism hid deeper wounds to not be concerned. To not feel obligated, both personally and professionally, to seek out those wounds and treat them.

“Large groups can be overwhelming,” he sympathized, “but there are other ways to celebrate your hard-won victory than doing chores,” Sosiel had come armed with a bottle of wine which he now offered up, “whether alone or, if you would not object, with a small spot of company.”

“I would never object to you.”

There it was again, that blunt sincerity that had first knocked Sosiel between his lungs outside of the Lost Chapel, heart frozen over and brittle enough to break when Kyrith’enderax told him I am glad that I did not lose you.

“But,” Kyrith’enderax continued, a twinge in the otherwise impassive rasp of his voice, “drinking is also new to me.”

“It could be a fine night for trying new things. A gentle buzz could help you to relax— and if the intoxication is more than you feel comfortable with, a simple restoration spell will have you back to yourself in a heartbeat.”

“My heart beats slow.”

Maybe it was the shadow of a black hole eclipsing his face, but it sounded more like a warning than a statement of fact. A reminder of Kyrith’enderax’s proximity to undeath, making something shiver in the juncture between Sosiel’s neck and shoulder.

“I mean only to say that any deleterious effects will be quickly reversible... and that I will keep an eye on you.”

“It would not do for a dhampir to lose control of himself.” Kyrith’enderax paused, and Sosiel wished he knew why, but he could discern nothing from his face save for the wandering of his eyes. To the window, to Sosiel, to the mirror, back to Sosiel again— face, chest, torso, hands, taking him in not with a vampire’s hunger but a scientist’s cold regard, as if he could unravel the mathematical truth of his body with the blankness of his stare. 

Given the cosmic power that now suffused him, maybe he could.

And then it melted away, eyes soft underneath his dark lashes and mouth parted. “But I cannot say that I mind being held in your gaze… Yes.” Kyrith’enderax exhaled, a tight shudder of a noise accompanied by the pulse of one of the stars that circled him. “Yes, I can afford this, though I have nowhere for us to sit save for—”

The bed was large enough to allow a respectful distance, but that did not stop Sosiel’s cheeks from warming as he fussed with the cork at the foot of the bed. Perched by the headboard, Kyrith’enderax sat stiff as always, but they were close enough now that Sosiel could see the slightest bit of give in his spine.

And he could see how those new powers had manifested.

They were exquisite. The veil of the cosmos had wrapped itself around Kyrith’enderax, swaddling him in the shimmering indigo of a clear night sky. A galaxy unto himself, he was orbited by winking starlight and swirling pockets of darkness, and it struck Sosiel that for as much of his life as he had dedicated to finding beauty in the everyday and natural, he had missed something by never before wrenching his head from his subjects long enough to look up and stare in open-mouthed awe at the sublime of the heavens.

The cork popped.

Quickly, Sosiel brought the bottle to his lips and took a nervous gulp. It was a dark red that he had chosen, all cherries and leather, not unlike one of his family’s vintages. 

He had also thought it might be to the dhampir’s liking.

“Is something wrong?”

“No,” Sosiel assured him, “I am only wishing for my sketchbook. You will be harder to draw now, but that is all the more reason to start practicing as soon as possible— so that I can do justice to this beauty.”

Kyrith’enderax rubbed his shoulder. It was a quirk that Sosiel had observed a few times before, but it was only in such close quarters that he realized its connection to the mark that the winter witch’s patron had left upon his body: ice-blue snowflakes stenciled from the nape of his neck, under the strap of his robes, and down his bicep. 

Sosiel wondered if the gesture was anything like touching prayer beads. An offering to something beyond them.

“You are too kind.”

“And you are too modest.” Sosiel felt the shape of something more on his tongue—a brilliant flourish of poetry that would show Kyrith’enderax exactly what Sosiel saw when he looked at him—but he swallowed it and chased it down with more wine. “Here. Perhaps this will help.”

Kyrith’enderax took the bottle by its neck and brought it close, forehead wrinkling slightly as he studied it. The label, the glass, the color, the scent, the beads of Sosiel’s saliva strung across the rim. And because of the promise he had made, Sosiel did not dare look away as Kyrith’enderax’s mouth replaced his, though he felt the warmth in his cheeks creep down to his chest.

For his part, Kyrith’enderax swallowed his first sip of alcohol with nothing more than ease and a few curious blinks.

“I am glad that you are here,” Kyrith’enderax said suddenly, “but surprised. It surprises me that you are here.”

“What’s so surprising about wanting to spend time with a friend?”

“That is another thing that is new to me,” Kyrith’enderax admitted, taking another long drag, “having friends. But I am more surprised that you are also relaxing. You have been restless since the Lost Chapel. I would expect you to still be in the field medic’s tent tending to the wounded, not here. With me.”

With the voice he used for hearing confessionals, Sosiel insisted, “This is a kind of tending too. The soul needs care as much as the body, and you have been through much today.”

“And what of your soul?” Kyrith’enderax looked back at him, and Sosiel flinched— penetrated and laid bare beneath the candlelight of his eyes. An aeon prying apart axioms, a witch divining from his entrails. “Our journey here has not been easy for you either.”

A friend showing concern.

Sosiel looked away.

“You are so sweet to worry, but I am fine.” Quick dismissal and quicker redirection, for how could a healer tend to the wellbeing of others if he was himself unwell? “I am more worried about how this journey has affected you.”

“Then we are equally worried about each other.” 

Kyrith’enderax did not sound worried but adamant, brooking no argument as to the equity of their feelings.

Sosiel did not know which he desired more: to try to argue anyway—insisting that there was no need to waste time fretting over him, like he was washing his hands before beginning his ministrations, and as the blood ran down the drain, praying that his anger and grief and terror would drain with it so that his heart and head could be clean for his holy task—or to curl up as close to Kyrith’enderax as he would permit and cocoon himself in that adamantine, safe. Seen.

Instead, he asked, “May I have the wine?”

Kyrith’enderax stole another sip for himself before handing the bottle over. Bringing it to his mouth, Sosiel noted that the lip had frosted over.

Would Kyrith’enderax’s lips taste the same?

“I do not know what to do with this,” Kyrith’enderax commented, voice soft even as he was gripping his shoulder again. “The worry, or any of the other things that I feel when I am with you, some new and mysterious and good and others…” That black hole was moving again, passing behind his head and lapping up the starlight in its path, constellations disappearing beyond its greedy event horizon. “Very, very old.”

Sosiel grimaced against the glass. “My apologies.”

“For what?”

“For burdening you with these uncomfortable feelings.”

“My discomfort is not your fault, nor your responsibility. The burden here is mine.” Before Sosiel could promise that he was strong enough to share it, Kyrith’enderax continued sharply, “It is in any case antithetical to the purpose of your visit to dwell on this heaviness, and I apologize for bringing it up.”

“The purpose of my visit is whatever you want it to be,” Sosiel assured him, gentle with the other man but not soft enough with himself to cushion the plummeting of his stomach, thinking himself foolish for the whole of this endeavor. “Whether that means talking through the heaviness, or putting it aside and celebrating instead, or…” Sosiel drew away, head low, “or being alone.”

“No—” The whisper broke as Kyrith’enderax suddenly lunged forward and grabbed Sosiel’s hand, skin cold enough to make him gasp. “I want…”

There was a weight to the word in Kyrith’enderax’s low rasp, gravity as forceful and inevitable as the black hole now dancing down his arm toward the intertwining of their fingers, tugging Sosiel’s heart up against his sternum like it meant to crack him open.

Something did. Crack. The sharp spasm of Kyrith’enderax’s bird-boned body as he tore away again.

“I apologize,” he muttered, once more distant and cold with his hand clawing at his shoulder. “Again. The body is unbecoming where the heart and mind cannot agree.”

Sosiel set the wine aside and moved to close that distance. Kyrith’enderax offered no reaction, even as Sosiel pulled that hand away and frowned at the crescents its nails had left behind. His own desires pulled too, telling him to bring the hand to his mouth and kiss the bleached knuckles until the blood and color returned, but he settled for running his thumb across them, rubbing some small measure of warmth into Kyrith’enderax’s stubbornly frozen frame.

“You have nothing to apologize for. Please, just tell me what it is that you want.”

“I want you to stay… and I want you to decide the rest of it. It should be your choice too.”

Should it?

A cleric did not choose the confessions he heard, nor the wounds he tended. A call for help would always demand an answer… but Kyrith’enderax was right about his restlessness since the gargoyle attack. Hells, since he had led the diversion at Leper’s Smile and felt curdling in his stomach not the slick of their filth but the blasphemous rot of despair. What beauty was there in the world that could outshine the darkness that had feasted on the soldiers that day? He had hunted it ever since, in every prayer and brushstroke and injury and atonement, and still his skin itched like carrion, bones not yet picked clean.

Finally sitting still, he realized how tired it had left him.

“Then let us put aside the worry for tonight.” He leaned forward and touched his forehead to Kyrith’enderax’s, his brow cool like a salve chasing away Sosiel’s feverishness, allowing him to rest. “Let us forget tomorrow and yesterday each.”

And as Kyrith’enderax glanced down at their clasped hands, he smiled. The first Sosiel had ever seen from him, shy as false spring thawing against Sosiel’s skin.

“Savor. Yes. Absolutely every moment that you share with me.”

[hugshughes]

august T. Zegras

Trevor Zegras x fem!reader

synopsis - You spend an amazing summer with Trevor Zegras, before realizing he was never yours.

wc - 3.3k

contains - NOT EDITED SO THERES PROB A FEWWWW MISTAKES. cursing, angst to fluff in a way, heartbreak, reader gets used, asshole/manipulative!trevor, implied sex (no actual smut), crying, cheating, no happy ending between trevor and reader, but happy ending for reader overall!!!!! not allllll of the song is used like in the actual like lyrics typed out but i just like didn't use some of the repeated verses more than once so yeah. let me know!

an - this hurt. love Trevor but this hurt. and it's honestly pretty short because I really didn't know what else to add so sorry!!!!! but also i kinda like this because i made up a hot man so. i would love new requests, for literally anything with anyone i loveeeeee writing requests but my inbox is literally barren rn.

-

salt air, and the rust on your door. i never needed anything more.

The summer had been perfect. You spent the whole thing in the Outer Banks of North Carolina, with your best friends, and a perfect boy.

You had traveled to the OBX in the middle of June, with your 5 best friends. You guys had rented a house for the summer, you'd been saving for the trips since the end of high school, and you were finally able to go.

You guys spent many days in the sun, getting tan and playing volleyball, swimming in the pool and ocean.

whispers of "are you sure?" "never have i ever before"

On your second week, a group of guys had moved into the house next to yours. One evening while you guys were on the beach they came out and set up next to your group, and one of them had their eyes on you from the get go.

Trevor was something you'd been waiting for for years, a guy that was invested in you, a guy that really liked you and was interested in you.

He would bring you to places you never thought you'd see, places you'd remember your whole life. The blonde would often wake up in your bed, he would smile sweetly and snuggle closer to you, asking for a few more minutes before you guys got up to go to the beach. He took you driving, hiking, you guys would go on runs.

but i can see us lost in the memory. august slipped away into a moment in time, 'cause it was never mine.

You all had to leave on the same weekend, it was the beginning of August, and you were all sad. Before you left, Trevor talked all about how he would miss you, and would call you, and text, and do everything he could to keep contact. You discovered that that wasn't true about two weeks after you guys had left, because his contact faded out then he completely ghosted you.

You were completely heart broken over it. Your friends tried to comfort you, but weren't sure how to. You'd had a whirlwind summer romance, and then abruptly lost it all.

and i can see us twisted in bedsheets, august slipped away like a bottle of wine. 'cause you were never mine.

You had the worst night of your life when your friend showed you a photo Trevor had posted on his Instagram story, which you couldn't see because he had blocked you. It was a picture of him and a girl, with the text reading, "happy 1 year with my favorite!🤍"

You just cried, and cried, and cried. You felt terrible, you had no idea that he was involved with anyone else. He never made an indication that he was cheating with you, he told you flat out he was single the first night you met.

your back beneath the sun, wishin' i could write my name on it. will you call, when you're back at school?

You had dreams of the nights you spent with him. You remember him telling you he'd keep in touch, he would tell you how excited he was for the week you were planned to be in Anaheim in November, since that's where your extended family lived.

Now you were in Anaheim, and all you could think of was Trevor. You sat on the edge of the bed you were sharing with your favorite cousin, sulking as you texted your friends.

"Babe, what's wrong? You've been different since you got here."

You looked up at her, smiling sadly. Quickly you shook your head, turning your phone off and standing up.

"It's nothing, just a long story."

"Well we've got five days, so you better start soon."

You turned and looked at her, and the look she gave you had you spilling it all. You told her every detail, starting July 2nd and ending August 7th, how everything happened after, finding out you were just his side piece while he had a whole girlfriend back home. You cousin was fuming by the end, ranting to you about how he didn't deserve you or your love.

i remember thinkin' i had you. but i can see us, lost in the memory. august slipped away, into a moment in time.

"Hun, it sounds like you need some dick."

You laughed out loud, your hand going to cover her mouth, shushing her quietly. You felt like you were 14 again, whispering to your cool 16 year old cousin about your secret first boyfriend while you slept over at her house.

"Oh my god, shut up! What if my dad heard you? What is grandma heard you?! I would not be let out of the house the rest of this trip."

She giggled as she pulled your hand from her lips, before beginning to beg you to go out with her tonight. She saw the perfect opportunity for you to get out of this house full of old people and little kids, and another to get your mind off of that dickhead.

It took a little bit of convincing, but you finally agreed. Even though you two were 22 and 24, your parents still probably would have a problem with you guys going out so you left the house with sweats over your dresses.

You two sat in the car for a minute, searching for a good bar to drive to. You found one that was only 10 minutes away and started your drive. Your cousin told you that she would have one drink then only water for the rest of the night so you could drink as much as you wanted to.

'cause it was never mine.

You guys found parking a little ways away then walked to the bar. It was crowded when you walked in, surprising to you guys because it was Sunday night.

Your cousin pushed you through the crowd with her hands on your shoulders. You guys finally found a spot open at the bar. She urged you to sit at the one seat while she stood next to you. You flagged down a bartender and ordered your first drink. You sat talking to your cousin for a while before she discovered a group of her local friends there, claiming she'd be gone for just a couple minutes. It'd been almost 30.

You sighed, sadly sipping on your cosmopolitan and checking your phone. You froze when you heard a certain name called through the loud atmosphere of the bar. You turned your head slightly, trying not to make it too obvious, and then you saw him, dapping up another guy you knew, Jamie. Fuck your life. You couldn't fucking believe that out of all the bars in Anaheim he had to be at this one. You turned back around towards the bar, closing your eyes and muttering curse words under your breath.

and i can see us twisted in bedsheets. august slipped away, like a bottle of wine. 'cause you were never mine

"You okay, darlin'?"

Your eyes shot open, looking towards where the unknown voice came from, only to find the owner to be the rather attractive bartender that'd been serving you tonight.

"Oh, uh yeah, thank you it's kind of a long story."

"Well my sections cleared out for now, if you want someone to tell."

You smiled at him, he leaned onto the bar in front of you. He was hot, if you were gonna be honest. He had dark brown hair, brown eyes that looked like honey in the warm lighting of the bar, and a beard that matched his hair. He was sweet, he'd been nice every time he served you. He was also southern, which was so sexy. You had had 2 and a half drinks, so you were a little buzzed, so you were more open to telling him.

"Well before I tell you my sob story, I need to know who I'm telling it to."

He smiled, oh my God his smile was perfect, his teeth were so perfectly straight and white.

"Well I'm Noah, and I'm from Texas, but my dad owns bars out here, like this one. I just work here whenever I'm home because they can always use more hands on deck, but I'm still in school in North Cali."

You started at him the whole time, he just seemed like such a genuine person, and he wasn't hard to look at. You thought the fact that he just worked here whenever he could to help his family was actually so cute.

"That's sweet! You just come here to help your dad?"

He nodded, his smile bringing a light feeling to your chest. You leaned your cheek against your palm, looking to begin your story.

"So Noah, you noticed my reaction to that guy walking in. That reaction was because this summer me and my friends were living in a beach house in the Outer Banks from like the middle of June until August. And so in like July this group of guys started staying at the house next to us and that guy, Trevor, was apart of that group."

Noah nodded, already giving Trevor dirty looks.

"He like was practically my boyfriend for a month and a half, then when he left he ghosted me, and then I see him post his one year anniversary with his girlfriend. One year! Like weren't you sleeping in my bed a month and a half ago?!"

back when we were still changing' for the better. wanting was enough. for me, it was enough. to live for the hope of it all. cancel plans just in case you'd call, and say, "meet me behind the mall."

Noah's jaw had dropped, his eyes wide as he looked between you and Trevor, whom he had a clear view of on the other side of the room.

"That guy fucked you over?"

You nodded sadly, before laughing about it.

"Honestly, I was upset about it but now, seeing him, it's just like he's not the same guy as I thought. He's not really the guy I'm upset about."

"That's real as fuck honestly."

You both laughed at that, you two kept talking for almost thirty more minutes, only breaking your conversation when someone came up for a drink. Your cousin had come over at some point, apologizing for leaving you alone for so long, when you told her you had totally hit it off with the bartender, and she giggled with you before running off when before Noah's smile dropped.

"Not to mention him, but that fuckhead is coming over towards my section."

You rolled your eyes, Trevor didn't make you sad anymore, he just pissed you off. You nodded, taking the drink he'd just made for you from him.

"Hey man, could I get a round of shots?"

He hadn't noticed you, you didn't know if you wanted him to or not. He was literally 5 feet from you, a guy that had seen every inch of you, and he didn't even notice you sitting there. Noah's cheerful demeanor dropped, giving Trevor a look.

"What liquor for how many people?"

"Oh uh um tequila for like 10 people."

"What tequila?"

Noah had known you for an hour and was already hating on your ex-situation like he was his mortal enemy. Trevor told him the brand he wanted and Noah turned to get to work. You kept your eyes on Noah while Trevor looked around aimlessly, until his eyes landed on you.

He was shocked, to say the least. He honestly thought he'd never see you again in his life. He immediately remembered how you told him you were coming to Anaheim for Thanksgiving, and how he told you he couldn't wait to see you then.

so much for summer love,

He liked you, but he also realized that he had a girl at home who still thought they were perfect together. He felt bad when he initially ghosted you, but then he forgot about it within weeks.

He couldn't deny how beautiful you looked, and how seeing you in person brought him right back to July. He wanted to say something, but he didn't know what to say. He had ended the relationship he'd been in just two weeks ago, he felt like seeing you here was a sign. He called your name, two times. The first time you acted like you didn't hear him, then the next you couldn't ignore him.

You turned to him, obviously irritated. You raised your eyebrows at him, a pissed off look on your face.

"What?"

Fuck. Trevor didn't know what to do after that. He stumbled over his words for a few seconds, suddenly nervous.

"Um hey, how are you doing?"

"Are you fucking serious? 'How am I doing?' How can you stand there and ask that after what you did to me?"

"Fuck, let's just talk, okay? I'll explain everything to you baby. Please?"

The name made you want to punch him in the nose. If you were being honest, you wanted to hear whatever explanation he had for it all. But no way in Hell were you gonna forgive him for any of it. You were done, this was just the closure you had needed for all those months.

and saying "us".

"Okay number one, don't fucking call me that; and number two, I will listen to you, but I'm not listening for your benefit, or to forgive you, I'm listening for the closure I need from you. Okay?"

"Yeah fine, sorry. Okay just come on so we can go somewhere more private."

You thought about it for a second, looking towards Noah behind the bar, secretly listening to the whole conversation. You made eye contact with him, mouthing, 'I'll be right back.' To which he nodded.

Trevor caught the interaction, which made his insides twist in anger. But he had no right to be angry, not one part of you belonged to him. You followed Trevor to the hallway by the bathrooms, leaning against the wall while he stood in front of you, far enough away so that you were comfortable.

"So I know what I did was terrible. It was a shit thing to do, but I had a lot of stuff happening at home and-"

"'Stuff' as in a long term girlfriend? Trevor you cheated on someone with me. You acted like you cared about me, ghosted me, then I have to find out I wasn't even the only girl, and that I was the other woman! That makes me a bad person! I felt like such shit for months because of you, and I shouldn't have, because it's all your fault! Not mine, not your girlfriend's, yours."

'cause you weren't mine to lose.

Holy shit. How the fuck did you know about Trevor's girlfriend? He had you blocked on his phone and his girlfriend's.

"Fuck um how do you even- Fuck just I know how bad that sounds okay? But you have to understand that-"

you weren't mine to lose, no.

"I don't think I'm gonna understand anything that comes out of your mouth. Just, leave me alone Trevor, you have had fucked me up enough as is."

Trevor leaned against the wall opposite from you with his head low, defeated. You felt a weight lifted from your shoulders, maybe all the closure you needed was to yell at him good and hard.

"Have a good fucking life, Trevor."

'cause you were never mine, never mine.

With your last goodbye, you sped away from him, before any more bullshit could leave his lips. He was never yours. You understood that now, and honestly it's a good thing he never was, because he was a fucking mess. You hoped he'd find a girl that fixed him, someone that could help him learn peace. But you knew you weren't her, you weren't a girl interested in making a man out of a boy, you wanted a man and that was that.

You walked back to where you sat at the bar, seeing Noah cleaning up the bar top. He looked up and saw you, smiling lightly.

"Hey, are you good?"

You nodded standing next to your seat and smiling back at him.

"So much better, to be honest. I just shouted at him and I think that was my version of closure."

"So you don't think he's coming to get these shots?"

You both laughed as you shook your head at him. You talked for about ten more minutes, before you decided it was time to find your cousin and go home. Noah asked for your number, which you happily gave him. You and your cousin exited the bar, both with smiles, though yours was a bit bigger.

"So you had a good night babe?"

"Very good, actually. That hot ass bartender was like the sweetest guy ever and asked for my number!"

You and your cousin talked the whole drive home as you both described the details of your nights. When you got home, you both slid your sweats back on over your dresses and quietly walked into your grandparent's home, informing your parents of your pre-prepared alibi, saying how you went and saw the Taylor Swift movie, then got dinner.

You both giggled like little girls while you ran up the stairs, then giggled even more ten minutes later in your shared bed when Noah texted you.

Trevor knew that he fully lost you when you walked away from him, but it didn't stop him from unblocking you and scrolling through your instagram.

but do you remember?

4 years later Trevor was single and still playing for the Ducks, he saw a picture from the summer of '23 and you came to his mind. He wondered what you were up to. He wanted to know if you were near Anaheim or anything. He pulled up Instagram, searching your name. What he found shocked him.

When Noah asked you to marry him three years into your relationship it was the easiest decision you had ever made. He was perfect, your dream boy. Then when you married him a year after that, it was easily the best day of your life. Your wedding in the hills of Northern California was absolutely gorgeous, and your honeymoon in Greece was breathtaking.

remember when i pulled up and said, "get in the car!" and then canceled my plans just in case you'd call?

Trevor saw the photos you posted from your wedding two weeks earlier and his jaw dropped, he recognized your husband as the bartender from the night the last time he ever saw you. You looked perfect in your white dress, the caption reading, "Mr & Mrs Moore, 7-29-27." Trevor was truly shocked, he didn't know why though. You were a perfect girl, and it was no surprise someone had lucked out and married you.

back when i was livin' for the hope of it all, for the hope of it all.

He liked the post, accidentally. When you saw the notification, you were confused, but smiled. You hadn't thought of Trevor in years, and now your time with him was all memories. He had made you happy in the moment, and you being sad and moping about him was what led your cousin to taking you to the bar, where you'd met the love of your life, your husband, the man who'd eventually be the father to all of your children.

You were grateful for Trevor Zegras, just for that.

for the hope of it all. for the hope of it all. (for the hope of it all.) (for the hope of it all.)

[runespoor7]

i know you already made a post on it once but because i couldn't stop thinking about it: for the au meme, the au where wwx makes talismans for wn and wn uses them to dick down jc?

in the tags of that post I implied that everyone except WWX wanted WWX to stop making it about him, but that’s too close to the notes last AU hit (and the vibes on that one were not rancid enough), so here’s what I’m thinking would be more interesting instead:

WN is doing it on purpose. Not the first time, or the second, but after a while sneaking around to bully (sexually) WWX’s… selfish-as-hell former sect brother, without WWX knowing, becomes part and parcel of the appeal. There’s something very satisfying about it. WWX wouldn't want to make JC cry, WN is well aware, but WN can do it on his behalf and that’s good and what is deserved here. (There’s also a part of WN that likes doing something without WWX knowing. It's a relief, as well. But WN doesn't like dwelling on his bodily autonomy or lack thereof and he especially doesn't like thinking about it or WWX in negative ways, so)

2. In this timeline WWX doesn't have an out-and-out meltdown, because: WN softly says that he hopes Wei-gongzi will keep making it possible for WN to see JC.

And wow WWX is suddenly extremely here for that. Conflicted! But hum that is a thought that beard revisiting. WN can fuck JC because WWX makes it possible. Ego-wise this is extremely good for WWX and also libido-wise it does something for him.

WWX gives WN the necessary talismans, and WN tells WWX what WWX wants to know about having sex with JC. (No, of course JC doesn't know. No, of course LWJ doesn't know either.

3. I envision some steady escalation there. WWX starting to tell WN what he wants him to do to JC. WN trying to look at JC like what he imagines are WWX’s eyes. 

WN in particular is having his brain rearranged in real time - it’s so easy to glide into what WWX wants him to do, to simply lose himself into being WWX’s thing. And yet - WWX’s requests are never enough to last a night, WWX is never satisfied with WN recounting what WWX wanted - WWX is so hungry for the details that he didn't know to expect. Incredibly thrilling to do things on his own that have JC moaning and tell WWX about it and watch WWX’s eyes go dark. WN can be so good and WN is necessary and WN is both WWX’s thing and WWX’s stand-in and the person making JC beg and break.

WWX sliding a paperman on WN, so he can see - he needs to see. He comes very hard but at the same time it’s not enough - he’s not controlling WN, he doesn’t feel what WN feels…

4. Because WN can feel WWX start growing dissatisfied with the paperman (that didn’t take long at all) - I think he realizes WWX has started dabbling into how-to-project-his-conscience-into-a-fierce-corpse - he starts including more mentions of WWX into his dirty talk. The levels of destructive hatesex have gone somewhat down since he and JC started fucking (just as well, WN was levels of roughness WWX would not have condoned), and JC’s occasionally sneered a challenged on that topic when he wants a reaction, so WN gets his revenge by wielding mentions of WWX like a sexy weapon. 

It’s very effective for everyone involved, JC gets off on the implied degradation, WWX gets off on JC wanting him (and at the same feels horribly guilty for his JC-is-crying-because-of-me boner, what’s new), WN gets off on both being of use to WWX and sometimes one-upping the WWX he’s making up for JC (WWX doesn’t like that part much. WN ending scenes by making JC pant WN’s name when WN demands JC says who’s making him feel good does not feel good to WWX). (WWX and WN can have a little sexy rivalry as a spice.)

5. at this stage WWX is definitely not going to be happy sitting on the sidelines like a voyeur forever. possibly it has more than vibes of dubcon, because JC always needs a little convincing and at some point he’s probably going to be pissed at WN, but that’s not going to stop anyone, and sunk cost fallacy added to how weak he is for the idea of WWX wanting him, WWX picking him, is going to get JC pretty easily. LWJ still doesn't know the first thing about this and I'm sure it's all going to be fine.

[rxzennia]

On Aventurine's Cooperative Eidolons

– an unprofessional dissection

✎𓂃 Namely E1 (Prisoner's Dilemma) and E6 (Stag Hunt Game). I don't doubt that this could just be pure coincidence, but this is Hoyo we're talking about. Properly capitalized work on my blog? More likely than you think. I am not eloquent enough for this. On a side note, I got a deep ass papercut from trying to dig through my bag a while ago, then I hurt the base of my finger 'cause I smacked it into a drawer. Ouch.

Context

See the Etymology section of Aventurine's trivia on the Wiki. There are further Wikipedia links to everything for all you nerds out there (I'm one of them, don't worry). This Reddit post is also good enough, methinks.

If you don't want to read all that, here's the TL;DR:

Prisoner's Dilemma has prisoners A and B who committed, say, arson together. They're interrogated separately (i.e., no communication between them), and there are four outcomes – if neither of them confess (both serve 0 years), if A confesses and B doesn't (and vice versa – whoever doesn't confess serves 20 years), and if they both confess (both serve 10 years). The best individual outcome for each side, then, is to snitch ("defect").

Stag Hunt Game has hunters C and D who must decide whether to hunt a rabbit or a stag with no knowledge of the other's decision. The stag will feed them for a week, and the rabbit will feed them for 2 days. To hunt the stag, they must work together. Otherwise, it could end in three ways: D goes for the stag (D will then starve) and C goes after the rabbit to feed themselves (and the other way around), or both C and D go for the rabbit and each respectively gain 2 days' worth of food. Both hunters are, therefore, more likely to cooperate to get the best outcome (the stag).

On Aventurine's Cooperative Eidolons

What catches my eye is how these two are sequenced. With the Prisoner's Dilemma at E1, and then through E2 to 5 until Stag Hunt Game appears in E6, it's more than just a representation of Aventurine's life up to this point. I wonder if this is a reflection of how his beliefs have changed, or if it's a reflection of what the individual departments of the IPC means to him, or if it's both.

As that Reddit post has already said, the PD applies to Aventurine and his owner. However, if we consider the game as between him and the IPC (or specifically the Marketing Development Department in this case), then the PD takes on a completely different meaning. When the Second Katica-Avgin Extinction Event took place, the Avgins were expecting the IPC to come to their aid, so they went ahead with the festivities on the day of Kakava. This was the worst possible outcome for the Avgins, and honestly I think I died a little inside when I came to this realization halfway through writing this. Sure, it's uncertain if the Avgins would've called off the festival were they aware of the IPC's plan, but I think that's just a bandaid on a broken bone.

The Avgin clan cooperated, and the IPC defected. The IPC acquired the optimal outcome – they effectively ensured the elimination of the Avgins and the Katicans from the politics in Sigonia – while the Avgin clan found themselves facing extinction. While there has been communication between the IPC and the Avgin, it's untrustworthy communication – basically equivalent to having no communication (the PD may still hold when there is communication, granted that it is ineffective; for explanations see here). Logically speaking, the Avgin clan should know this; the IPC did have an indirect hand in their banishment to the desert, which would then be reasonable to say that the IPC has no interest in resolving the enmity between Avgins and Katicans. The rational action here for the Avgins, then, would be to defect as well, but this isn't a world where every player is rational.

What all of this implies is that in such a situation, where a rational player in the Avgins' position would choose to defect, the Avgins in the story chose to bet on that non-existent chance of cooperation in a Prisoner's Dilemma. How desperate must they be to take that chance in cooperation, to wilfully ignore all the signs that point to defection by the IPC?

If you hear sobbing in the distance, you'd better join me. Well played, Hoyo. Well played. Okay, let's move on.

A Prisoner's Dilemma (PD) can become a Stag Hunt (SH) through eliminating the factors that contribute to the "every man for himself" sentiment in the PD. Suppose there is a scenario where the PD applies. What makes both sides equally wary of the other, and what prevents them from working together as they would've in a SH? Uncertainty. Incomplete information and trustworthiness – if you don't know what move the other side is going to make, you have to look for the best move for your situation.

In the real world, incomplete information is generally addressed by institutions. Information is made transparent by various institutions at various levels so that there is less guesswork for the players in the dilemma. It reminds me of the IPC Strategic Investment Department, since they are providing information for Aventurine to make decisions for his next move, and simultaneously trade information with the Marketing Development Department. It's less that they do it willingly, but because they're both departments under the IPC, there is a certain level of transparency between them. 

Trustworthiness is essentially how one convinces others of their intentions. How else can anyone look at your past actions and determine that you're likely to cooperate if you have nothing vouching for you? Aventurine went from being a slave to a Stoneheart, and so with his current position and connections comes a certain degree of trustworthiness. Therefore, the IPC, too, have to honor deals made with him, as they have an image to maintain to everyone else in the cosmos – all because of Aventurine's position. It's a real shame that only now that the Marketing Development Department can't walk all over him again. A real shame.

By E6, Aventurine is playing the Stag Hunt Game, as opposed to the Prisoner's Dilemma. Is he collaborating with the Strategic Investment Department to achieve some mutual goal, where both will benefit? Hell, is he playing the Stag Hunt with the Astral Express, too? What is his desired outcome, then? 

If we look at this in terms of how Aventurine's beliefs have changed, he's gone from a lone player to someone with a lot of cards. He's intentionally put himself in a position where cooperation becomes worthwhile, thus ensuring his interactions all fall under the "Stag Hunt" category. This doesn't mean that his life is free from betrayal, given how he seems to expect the dirtiest tactics in the execution of an interaction; rather, he expects that the outcome of any action would bring him a net benefit that offsets the price of being betrayed. 

This means he's learned from the Second Katica-Avgin Extinction Event, where the defection of one player and the cooperation of the other resulted in the optimal outcome for the defector at the expense of the cooperator. I'd like to think he is where he is now because he wants to be well equipped to turn any future interactions that would land him in a PD into a SH; he sees the value in cooperation, the benefit of being able to play his cards with the expectation that his opponent would play into the outcome he wants because of a shared goal. 

If we examine this as two distinct interactions with the IPC departments, we have the Prisoner's Dilemma and the Marketing Development Department on one hand, and the Stag Hunt and the Strategic Investment Department on the other. This interpretation brings up a very familiar notion: Aventurine and the Marketing Development Department are never going to get along. With the PD, there is no way both sides would cooperate, and so there we have it. Even if Aventurine doesn't know about the role that the Department played in Sigonia (as there is no canon confirmation as of yet), he isn't going to get along with them as someone of the Strategic Investment Department. True to the political climate within the IPC, there is barely any trust, nor any expectation to cooperate beyond what is absolutely necessary.

Aventurine's association with the Strategic Investment Department is a SH game in and of itself. Diamond gets a new Stoneheart, and Aventurine gets to live. I have no doubt that he manipulates every mission into a SH situation by revealing just enough of his cards; it's highly unlikely that he's able to achieve the Department's goals with no assistance. 

Overall, well… This goober is still living in my head rent free. Thanks, Hoyo.

[right-there-ride-on]

Figuring out the Context surrounding Funny Valentine

cw: blood, torture, implied rape, discussion about the Confederacy

I was originally going to make a post about nationalism in SBR but to do that I think I need a better understanding of SBR's antagonist; hence this post.

Let's start with the backstory. It's revealed to us late-game, literally during the narrative climax, as Valentine attempts to find the resolve to overcome Johnny's Infinite Spin. What's the difference between regular resolve and dark determination? umm I'll get back to you on that. Anyway, we are treated to a flashback with young Funny on the day a friend of his father's visits Funny and his mother.

To clarify, the friend's name is Captain Valentine. Which means that after he shares the news of Funny's father's death he ends up marrying Funny's mother and becoming his stepfather and giving Funny the last name Valentine.

I'm posting the whole flashback so you'll have the full context of what I'm talking about.

Chapter 87: Ball Breaker (Part 5)

I wanted to try and find out what war this was, so I did some research.

According to JOJOVELLER: Stands (pg. 294), Funny Valentine is 43 years old. SBR takes place in 1890. 1890 - 43 = 1847. Thus Funny Valentine was born in 1847. (Also, I only realized after doing the math, it's stated that the date on the handkerchief is Funny's birthday and it clearly says 1847. Lol)

Funny is clearly stated to be seven years old in the flashback, meaning that Capt. Valentine's visit takes place in 1854.

Keeping in mind how long it took to travel back then, as well as taking into account that it seems somewhat implied Capt. Valentine waited awhile to bring the handkerchief to the family, either with Funny's father until he died or sometime after his burial, I'm going to suggest the date ranges for the war are between 1847 - 1853.

Furthermore, Capt. Valentine mention he is a member of the calvary, which wasn't officially established until 1861.

However, there were temporary calvary units created during times of need, so I'll be looking at those as well.

On wikipedia, the list of U.S. conflicts during that timeframe include:

Texas-Comanche Wars (1836 - 1875)

Mexican-American War (1846 - 1848)

Cayuse War (1847 - 1855)

Apache Wars (1849-1924)

Navajo Wars (1849 - 1866)

However, the conflict is also explicitly mentioned as ending.

Which is why I'm going to suggest Funny's father did not participate in any of the Native American conflicts. That really only leaves the Mexican-American war. To further support this, wikipedia also states that a calvary was raised to fight as well.

What happened to Funny's father during the Mexican-American war likely fueled his xenophobia.

As for the Valentine himself, we know he also fought in a war and received scars in the shape of the American flag. Counting the ones that seem to be bullet holes (possibly), there's 14 that I counted. Why not 13, for the 13 colonies? Or 13 for the flag he uses in Philidelphia? I'm not sure. The only connection I can make is that June 14th is Flag Day.

Chapter 62: Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap

It's a bit harder to place what war Valentine fought in. We know he was in San Diego, but there are actually two versions of why he was there.

One is that, while in Congress (after the war) he discovered Joseph of Arimathea's Map of the Corpse Parts in the British Parliament in 1889. Not knowing what it was, he traveled with a Puritan search party to the first cross on the map in San Diego and obtained the Corpse Heart. All in the party but him died, and he testified that they were caught in quicksand.

Chapter 30: Scary Monsters (Part 3)

The second backstory is that Valentine was with a group of soldiers when they came across a Devil's Palm. Once again Valentine was the sole survivor.

Chapter 67: D4C (Part 2)

This second backstory seems to be more in-line with the Valentine seen in Chapter 62, and this backstory better matches Valentine's scars. Although we know D4C allows Valentine to dimension-hop, we also know that only the base universe has the corpse. These two backstories can't exist together. To keep things simple, I'll chalk up the original backstory as early weirdness and continue with the assumption that the second backstory is the one Araki wants us to pay attention to.

First, let's consider the timeline. Assuming that Valentine indeed served in Congress before running for President, we still don't know if he served in the House or Senate, or even what state he would have represented.

A House term is two years.

A Senate term is six years.

I think someone like Valentine would have shot for the longer term limits, so I'm going to assume he ran and won a seat in the Senate, likely several times. Working backwards from 1890:

He won the presidential bid in 1888 and was sworn in in 1889

Six years prior would have been 1882

Let's say he did a term before that as well, which puts us at 1876.

So, we'll say he started his political career in 1876.

This means any wars he participated in would have had to have been before 1876. The war could have been a Native American conflict, which I think is somewhat likely due to Valentine's troop being positioned in San Diego. However, considering Valentine's scars were received from being captured and tortured by the enemy, and given the shape of them, it's fairly likely he received the scars during the Civil War. Keep in mind though that we don't know whether he received the scars or the Corpse Heart first, which would impact the timeline. I'll continue by assuming he received the scars first.

Noticeably, in the Chapter 67 flashback, Valentine isn't a young man but appears to be an adult. The Enrollment Act of 1863 conscripted all men between 20 and 45 to fight for the Union, but we can't base our age estimation entirely on this because Valentine is die-hard patriot and likely would have volunteered as soon as he was eligible.

So let's say he was 17 during the time of that flashback. 1847 + 17 = 1864. That's during the Civil War timeframe (as the Civil War ended in 1866). I feel safe to say that he fought in the Civil War.

There's another piece of evidence to consider as well, which is the uniform. Unfortunately I am not Civil War historian nor someone with a good eye for design, so I cannot say for certain which side his uniform appears to be from. All we can really see is the dark color and two buttons on the cuff. I'm not completely sure on this, but I think the two buttons may have indicated nicer uniforms, which may have indicated Valentine had a somewhat high rank.

Confederate Formal Uniform Example:

Source: File:The photographic history of the Civil War - thousands of scenes photographed 1861-65, with text by many special authorities (1911) (14782791043).jpg - Wikimedia Commons

Union Uniform Example:

Source: File:General Benjamin Butler Brady-Handy.jpg - Wikimedia Commons

And here's a more direct comparison:

Source: Yankees Civil War Uniform (animalia-life.club)

Or for a compressed version: OnlineResize.club. Resize image, Crop pics, Add instagram effect.

Again, I can't say for certain, and the way that the uniform is drawn doesn't make it completely clear. While the shape of the coat appears to generally resemble the Union uniform, to me it appears the hat is closer to the Confederate Kepi. Knowing what state he was from would certainly help; if we extrapolate that his father fought in the Mexican-American war, then possibly we can infer it was a Southern State, but I also am wary about suggesting that because I'm unsure how much political success a former Confederate could have had in a heavily Republican Congress.

I want to emphasize that none this is certain, but based on the information we have these are my best guesses. If you want to take a crack at it, here's wikipedia's comprehensive timeline of U.S. military conflicts. It's entirely possible he fought and was captured by the native people, which would support his placement in San Diego during the time of his enrollment in the army and would have given him a generally stronger position in Congress to base his platform off of (as opposed to if he had been a Confederate). It's also entirely possible he was in the Union and fought to keep the country together, which I see as in line with his ideals of patriotism and authoritarianism. And as discussed above, it's also possible he was part of the Confederacy, then was absorbed into the Union post-Civil war before beginning his political career. I couldn't find the details to support any one of these over the others.

So, based on all the available evidence, my tentative timeline is this:

Valentine volunteers for the army in the Civil War (1864)

Valentine is captured and scarred (?)

Valentine is re-assigned to training post-war in San Diego (between 1866 - 1876)

Valentine makes his congressional run (1876)

Valentine wins Senate re-election (1882)

Valentine runs for presidency and wins (1888)

At some point in the future, maybe I'll write about Valentine and American Nationalism and all those fun things, but for now this was my attempt at figuring out the specifics of Valentine's backstory and the sort of circumstances he sprung from.

If you got this far, thank you for reading!

[zonaenthusiast]

BESTIES *slams the table* TODAY WE’LL BE TALKING ABOUT THE ONLY MAN EVER, YES, THAT IS CORRECT, RORONOA ZORO. But not any Roronoa Zoro, we’ll talk about Zoro in chapter 687, his relationship with Tashigi, how he views women and how Kuina has everything to do with that.

Make yourselves comfortable, I'm not going to shut up for a while.

We start strong with this conversation between Sanji and the G-5 right after Sanji tells them he doesn’t kick women, it doesn’t matter if the woman in question is her enemy.

Up until this point, Zoro had already fought against women but never in a direct face to face and without more enemies (the exception is Film Z but it’s not canon so I don't count it for this). What Sanji says implies that he has noticed please just kiss already that Zoro, contrary to what it may seem (and unlike Luffy), does make a distinction when fighting a man and when fighting a woman. But it is not the same distinction Sanji makes.

As I said in the post where I talked about Tashigi and Law, she doesn't know that. Tashigi reflects her own insecurities in this particular trait of him and takes things for granted that aren't true.

Since Zoro was only defending and had not attacked her even once, Monet believes Tashigi's words because she was thinking the same. Now she really thinks she has a chance of winning because she is confident that Zoro is not going to hurt her and doesn’t seem to consider Tashigi a difficult enemy to defeat.

And because of Tashigi’s never ending nagging, he decides to step back and let the women fight. He only decides to intervene to save Tashigi when she is put in a difficult position... and it’s the moment both women realize they might be wrong about him.

Look at what he says here, just before he defeats Monet by cutting her in half:

And this is where I wanted to get to because it's time to talk about Kuina and the impact she had on Zoro.

When he met her, Zoro was an arrogant brat who thought he was invincible (and he was only eight years old, he had to be unbearable). Even adults couldn't beat him and then another girl came along and humiliated him in seconds. No matter how much he trained, Kuina was always so much better than him and he could never defeat her.

But Kuina had the same insecurities that Tashigi has now and she shared them with Zoro. And it doesn’t matter that he didn't believe any of the things Kuina told him about her womanhood and her skill with the sword, she never had the chance to prove herself.

Zoro doesn’t consider women to be weaker than him because the only person in the world that Zoro can never, ever defeat is a woman. But she died and it was so unexpected and in such a simple way that her words stuck with him after all these years. Kuina’s death defines Zoro’s life and Kuina’s words define his approach to women.

He doesn’t consider women weaker just because they are women but he doesn’t feel comfortable fighting with them, even when he has to. This is why he doesn’t finish off Monet and let Tashigi do it. He will do it if it’s what it takes to protect his people... he just prefers not to.

Tashigi is the only exception, she is the only woman he CAN’T fight. I don't think we'll ever see something like that because Tashigi will fight on his side when we get to the final war but, if the two had to face each other, it would be a very traumatic thing for Zoro. He would probably be able to attack her if he needs to but mentally it would be a very hard blow to him.

And while we're on the subject, I'll take this opportunity to mention that Kuina’s death and words are also why Zoro is so angry with Enel when he throws his lightning at Robin and he rushes to catch her before she hits the ground in Skypiea. That’s because he says she is a woman, because he is afraid that something similar to what happened to Kuina will happen to Robin here. He just doesn’t do well with women falling.

That’s it for today and as a bonus I will put this panel here because why a few lines on paper look so handsome, I don’t understand it.

[arthurtaylorlester]

whispers into your inbox "jmart was the worst thing that could have happened in tma; it wrecked Jon's character and is the most transparent 'how do we not have our mc become suicidal?' I have ever seen. TMA then falls into the hole of the only important or good enough relationships being romantic, discarding previous character development to throw everything into romance solves all ~ ♡ I hate it and I hate how much Jon is woobified and infantilized in the fandom to drool over Martin and I hate how everyone acts like their relationship is good, when I think either of them with 5 years of a normal life would realize how awful the relationship was for both of them." Anyway lol I expect no response or post of this I am just being spicey on anon

oh anon you thought i was gonna see a take like this and not post it?

i need you to out yourself to me because goddamn this is an interesting take!

look, i love jmart, but even with 5 seasons of development they still somehow managed to feel rushed?

i disagree in that their relationship being unhealthy is a bad thing for them, because like the appeal of podcasts for me is the fucked up relationships. fucked up characters = fucked up relationships, yknow? like john and arthur from malevolent, normally, they'd hate each other without much of a second thought, but that's not the point, they love each other despite that, and that kind of extends to jmart for me.

i also totally agree with the fandom criticism, woobifying jon is like the only tma content i see on twt and it is soooooo annoying.

my personal qualms with tma however is in part the lore decisions and how the fandom treats the lore (and also the whole podcast).

s1 is easily the best season, mostly because you have no fucking idea what's going on, but after s2 things really start feeling like they're being drawn out, at least to me? like i think season 3-4 couldve been one thing, and um. season 5 is fun if you like jmart and the eye ig. i know most of this is a gross oversimplification (not forgetting yall basira&daisy fans) but after the core cast of season 1-2 i could not really get the other characters being fundamental in the story (not georgie. i love georgie)

don't get me wrong, the not-sasha arc was amazing! but after tim died, and martin fucked off for most of a season being sad, i was a bit bored. the buried isnt interesting to me sorry.

and also they under-utilize basically every fear, including the eye, and the one that upsets me the most is the stranger. oh what is it? circus and clowns ig. LIKE OPEN UP YOUR EYES THE WORLD IS OPEN TO YOU THE UNCANNY VALLEY AS SO MANY NICHES PLEASE

and by the end of the show, it just feels like they keep rotating the same 3 fears, and the others just kind fade into the bg

and then there's the fandom. i'm sorry but some of you guys act like tma is the end-all-be-all of fiction horror podcasts. when it's just not. sorry, but the magnus archives, after s1, just isnt scary. you know what's going on, the fears! which are neatly tied into these categories of oddities!

and the show explicitly states that the 14 fears categorization is arbitrary and that they all bleed into one another, but the fandom just. ignores that? like i've heard so many people go to other podcasts and say ''oh x is so eye avatar-coded!!'' and then x just has some vague eye symbolism that isnt even the point (this is about arthur lester)

and like i don't understand how tma manages to be the most mainstream fiction podcast nowadays, when welcome to night vale is right there ! and yes, i am implying that wtnv is objectively better than tma, because wtnv despite running for 12 goddamn years has never bored me with an episode, and it has roughly the same amounts of episodes! they both have similar formats that could repetitive quick (radio show vs statements) and even though i'd say statements have more creative freedom, wtnv still manages to not be boring. this might also just be a fact of better and more varied authors but hey, this is just my opinion

i want it to be clear that i'm not trying to start discourse, i still like tma! the fanartists are some of the most talented artists i've seen, and the fics are just aughhhhhhhhhhhh /pos

[arand0mdutchgirl]

Rwrb text post / fic preview

Little "i'd die for you" preview: coming to ARandomDutchGirl on ao3 on oct first for firstprinceweek day 5!

I'd die for you

aRandomDutchGirl

Summary:

First prince week day 5: life or death DETECTIVES HUSBANDS AU The one where Alex and Henry go undercover together and Henry takes a bullet for Alex ANGST WITH A HAPPY ENDING I PROMISE

TW: for implied vomiting and fearing that you're going to die and mention of alcohol

Henry takes a sip of his beer and frowns at the man sitting next to him.

"So are you going to tell me what got you so pissed mate?" Henry asks, hoping he comes off as an interested friend instead of an interested undercover detective.

Chris sighs.

"Why am I so- I'll tell you why I'm f****** pissed. F***** snakes, I swear ****-"

It's as if Henry's whole world pauses for a second.

Of course, he knew going into this mission that he could get caught.

But the hypothetical is a lot less terrifying than the reality.

Henry presses his nails into his trembling hand forcing it to stop shaking, because he'll won't be able to deny the accusations and win back the trust of these bloody terrible people if he's shaking in fear.

He downs his beer which isn't a good choice because it makes him want to vomit from fear and adrenaline rather than drowning his anxiety.

He takes a deep breath.

At least Alex isn't with him right now.

Alex might be able to make it out of this mission alive. 

As long as he doesn't blow his cover when he finds out the people he's pretending to belong with murdered his husband.

Christ. Why did they ever agree to go on this mission?

They knew it was dangerous.

Much more so than the ones they've gone on in the past. (Not that they weren't terrifying in their own way).

But they figured they'd be fine as long as they faced the danger together.

Which was rather stupid, because Henry knows that if the situation were reversed and Alex was the one with the blown cover...

He knows there is no way in hell he'd be able to keep his cool and keep up his fake identity after finding out his husband had died.

But Alex is going to have to try because if he fails to keep his false identity his cover will be blown too.

And the only thing worse than knowing Henry is going to die right here surrounded by these bloody awful people he was so sure he was going to get to arrest, is knowing his death essentially caused his husband's death as well.

So he hopes with everything he's got that when  Alex finds out about Henry's death, he won't fall apart until after he's arrested these men.

Henry can only hope Alex won't let himself deal with his husband's death until he's at a safe place to do so.

A laugh catches Henry's attention and brings him back to reality. "Oliver? Are you good? You look like hell mate!"

First Henry thinks it's a trap but it doesn't take long to figure out the man has no clue Henry is one of those snakes he just cussed out.

Meaning someone else's cover got blown...

The realization comes crashing in on Henry and before he knows it he retches.

It's not his cover that got blown.

It's Alex's.

Cr: song die first by Nessa Barrett (so Henry coded i'm gonna cry😭)

Ss cr: most from @aplaceinme and i'm not sure about one of them but if it's your ss tell me and i'll cr you!

O(i did not spent 30 minutes searching pinterest for this just to find the ss i was looking for on tumblr within one second (yes i did ugh)

[vilevileposting]

I'm reading homestuck for the first time (Weeks 5 and 6)

I keep forgetting to post these and I'm sorry!

I've been enjoying going around telling people homestuck is good actually. That's a role I never got to occupy in my young life as homestuck passed me by. So far zero people have believed me and I don't expect that to change.

I have now seen a picture of a troll! Foul little imp

I *am* left with my first little critique of homestuck: Act 3 felt like it was building to the End of Act 3 flash, like it was trying to outdo End of Act 2. Setting things up almost more for the payoff of the flash than for the sake of the story. I don't think a series of lore bombs is a very good way to structure a story, and I'm worried that's the structure the series is going to take. That said, it *is* fun in the moment, it's only in hindsight that I'm thinking this.

Our dealer and homestuck veteran Char has been writing discussion questions for our weekly book club meetings (sometimes), and I've decided to include those along with my answers.

Week 5

980: I bet If I could pause here I’d see something wacky

1000: Interesting that John changed his name *to* Ectobioloist from something else, especially after the prior reveal that ectobiology is a thing in this setting. ARGH I SHOULD HAVE FINISHED THE PAGE BEFORE WRITING THIS NOTE

1022: Tempted to go back and look… This is the kind of thing I’d miss.

1024: This exchange makes me feel like I’m right about both their parents, but I’m getting a little used to the rug pulled out from under me. I feel like I’m picking up on a kind of rule of threes. If I’m right about something, my attention’s drawn to it once, and then the second time it shows up is confirmation. But if I’m wrong, my attention is drawn to it, then my conclusion is hinted at more blatantly in a “it sure looks like that huh” kind of way, and finally the third time it appears is the rug pull. I can’t think of an example following this format right off the melon, I’m going off pure vibes sleep deprived and on a plane.

1026: There are two towers on that funny moon, and it’s notable to me that Rose’s real life house is based on them.

1033: I know those weary eyes!!!!

1039: I appreciate the harsh spike in Gun Realism

1043: Notable to me that the Peregrine Mendicant’s awesome sword is black in color, when you would expect the Light Guys to have white weapons. If indeed he is a Light Guy as Jade’s dream implied.

1046: I would like to apologize for my repeated misgendering of the Peregrine Mendicant. I did it on purpose out of malice. I’m a DEMON

1049: What does this MEAN

1051: Seems like Rose might have been onto something with her subconscious doodling theory, because it only just occurred to me that this takes place prior to basically every other event. Also what does this MEEEEAAAAAN

1062: Pressure cooker bomb reference

1064: Second coming of decoding foreshadowing. Very notable that they got a potted plant, which I seem to recall was one of the things in the jetpack!

1070: Bro EXECUTED Cal for NO REASON!!! THEN LEFT ON A HOVERBOARD!!! I’m telling you in terms of power scaling Dave’s brother is clearly unstoppable.

1093: This has *gotta* be them.

1096: Kamina glasses…….

1099: What is it with Dr. Hussie and ethnic weddings

1108: I was on board for a mayor and a mailwoman, but I am not here for a cop guy

1110: I feel better about a judge guy.

1133: I’m uncertain about Bec’s nature. For a hellbeast, he seems to also be quite cooperative.

1136: Seems like a paradox in the form of sending items to the past is allowed, but not taking items.

1149: Without a pause button I’m just utterly unequipped to handle this – I wrote BEFORE realizing that Nanna’s note is the same note we saw in John’s dad’s copy of Sassacre’s, except written in John’s copy and dropped into the void. This affects the timeline! And I’m really not sure how. I might need to rescind my earlier comment about Nanna being a willing participant in all this, which seems like it may no longer be true. Somehow this copy goes from the void to John’s dad’s safe, then back around again, presuming it’s the closed time loop it seems to be. No clue how that’s gonna come together.

1152: Is this one of the planets we saw? In the process of checking, I notice that there is a LUMINOUS PLANET with a SINGLE MOON, exactly like the one Jade dreamed about. Going by the art style, that indicates this luminous planet and the shadow planet are the sort of centers of light and dark we’re working with. Anyway, if this is one of the four planets then I think it’s the dark cloudy one, or possibly the not so dark (kinda bright actually) cloudy one. A thought that occurs to me now, days later, is that we have 2/4 kids accounted for in dreamland and the shadow planet also has a moon.

There were no discussion questions for Week 6.

Week 6: If Homestuck Book Club was mpreg our child would have a heartbeat.

1159: I think this is the guy in John’s house and I’m not checking.

1169: That’s a setting-specific captchalogue analogue!!! And it’s the same as Wandering Vagrant’s tattoo!!!!!!!!

1170: Hidden message vibes.

1171: Hidden message vibes intensify…

1177: Standing out to me how things get swapped. Clubs Deuce seems to have swapped here with Hearts Boxcars, and a moment ago, the Spade Key was swapped with the rules for blackjack and the war chest was swapped with the deck of cards. If Clubs and Hearts are paired somehow then that would leave Spades paired up with Diamonds, and the rules for blackjack don’t seem very diamondy. I don’t think that’s what’s going on.

1210: Damn I wish I knew how to play poker

1215: Purple planet with a moon…

1219: I saw that the doom wardrobe whatever it was called was the same as Jade’s, but now with John’s bathtub in play I notice all the inventory options are themed after the four kids.

1353: It finally happened

Q: Where do you think the midnight crew and their foes are from? Who does Spades Slick look suspiciously like, and what do we know of his origins?

A: Spades Slick looks exactly like the Warden guy, and for a moment, a lot like WV/PM. He showed up under almost identical circumstances to them too, wandering a destroyed world, and for some reason, making a city. Or present band of synonyms for Wandering Vagrant are uniquely insistent upon civics, with a mailwoman, a mayor, and a judge. It could be that after worlds are destroyed, these guys show up and make something. It’s unclear to me why, or how to categorize everything. The plot of Midnight Crew centers around a conflict of black vs green, not black and white. They did say darkness always wins, maybe there was some other force (time?) before light? We don’t really know where this interlude falls in the timeline, if it falls anywhere at all. For example, if Spades Slick becomes the Warden, or vice versa. Or the secret third option. If those bar codes are an analogue for captchalogue cards, then it stands to reason that that code can be used to replicate the thing it designates. They could just be clones.

Q: Did you understand... any? of the time fuckery?

A: I followed the thread but I could not retell the story if I tried.

Q: Who is the weird little grey fucker at the end of the intermission?

A: John Stuck

Q: What's Snowman's deal? Will she ever be killed?

She’s clearly an imp-thing turned traitor, but there’s so little to go off of. The o in her name wasn’t green at any point, and she’s not shown to have a power besides taking the world with her if she dies. So she’ll probably die. Former Mayor Hussie isn’t striking me as someone who flinches.

Q: Who of these characters, if any, do you think might reappear in Homestuck?

If nobody else, definitely Spades Slick and Snowman. Maybe Lord English, maybe the rest of the Crew.

[vampyrdiariez]

♰ - MAJOR LIFE UPDATE!! (pt 1.)

𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐲 #5. ⋆｡˚🦇⛧

─── ⋆⋅ ♰ ⋅⋆ ───

7/3/24, 10:52 PM - 12:12 AM.

hello little people in my laptop! it's been a while huh?? I'm sorry that I haven't posted here in a while, i've had a LLLOOOTT going on. So, here's a big of a life update.. a summary of the last five-ish months.

─── ⋆⋅ ♰ ⋅⋆ ───

First I'll summarize with a basic timeline, then we'll get into details.

☆ Situationship!! , ☆ Friend Drama, ☆ Situationship goes from 0 - 100, ☆ MORE FRIEND DRAMA??, ☆ EVEN MORE FRIEND DRAMA???, ☆ WHEN DOES IT END.

(this post specifically will be talking about the situationship.)

─── ⋆⋅ ♰ ⋅⋆ ───

The last time that I really posted here, it was just before Valentines Day- so that's where I'll start. In the middle of February I got a direct message from a guy I'd met in middle school, we'll call him Bee... if you get it, you get it. He'd messaged me on my art account complimenting my work, and just generally trying to make friends- which I accepted. We started talking and really got along, to which we moved on to speaking on my main account. That's when he realized who I was considering I don't post my face on my art account, and we just kind of rekindled our middle school friendship. Eventually he started flirting with me (respectfully) and asked me out on a date, considering how well we got along- I said yes. I put on my cutest clothes, did my hair- and we went on our first date. I picked him up at his house and we went to the mall, and then Barnes & Noble.

He was very respectful the whole time, he complimented my outfit and the attention to detail on my eyeliner, he held open every single door without fail, and he made me laugh with every joke. We went out on another date the next day to which he met my parents and addressed my father as "sir", which was astonishing to me (most of my other exes couldn't show that kind of respect if they were being held at gunpoint). So to say the least, things were going really well. On our second date he told me that he had a lot of friend issues going on and was afraid he was going to have to cut off most if not all of his friend group... so I invited him into my discord server. I have a server of friends in my area that I met in school or other such places, to hang out / play games.. stuff like that. Bee met my friend (for whom the sake of privacy- we will call;) Rabbit. They played a few games together in a VC, and eventually I joined just to stream me drawing and hang out. While we were still in the VC, Bee texted me saying that he just wanted to stay kind of at the point we were and didn't think that he was ready for a full relationship. He implied that he still wanted to go on dates with me and hang out, just that he didn't think he was ready for big labels yet. Despite having said the day before that he was "ready to become more" with me.

─── ⋆⋅ ♰ ⋅⋆ ───

I told him that it was fine and that I understood, because I did. Also slightly because it's rare that someone seems genuinely interested in me. I'm a plus sized goth girl in the midwest, are we surprised? Eventually Bee, Rabbit, and I got off of the phone- and about an hour after that I got a text from Rabbit. Rabbit texted me and he had asked me "Are you and Bee like together or just talking?" which I thought was a little weird. I told Rabbit that we were just talking to which he replied something along the lines of "That's weird, he seems to think that you guys are just friends" and that's when I started getting suspicious.

I kind of explained to Rabbit the situation and was like "Bee said he just isn''t ready to put labels on things, still wants to go on dates, still wants to be romantic with me" you get it. Rabbit proceeded to send me screenshots of Bee flirting with him pretty seriously, the timestamp on those screenshots were at around 6:30 pm.. when we were all still on the phone together. I quickly went to my messages with Bee and saw that he had texted me about "not wanting to put lables on things".. TWO MINUTES after sending those other messages to Rabbit. TWO MINUTES. WHILE WE WERE ALL STILL ON THE PHONE TOGETHER 💀💀💀. Rabbit didn't send me screenshots of the full conversation so Bee could've been flirting with Rabbit even BEFORE that, which was NUTS.

I started freaking out when I put two and two together and I started spiraling, I was sobbing and I was so upset that I just needed to get out of the house. I called my best friend sobbing and ended up going to her house for a while to calm down.

─── ⋆⋅ ♰ ⋅⋆ ───

This is where it somehow manages to get worst. I sent a confrontation message to Bee, and he didn't reply for another thirty minutes back and forth. He acted like he didn't know what I was talking about until I mentioned I had screenshot proof, he said "ok" and continued to not respond. I send a lot of confrontational messages along the lines of "it's crazy of you to pull some shit like this after YOU were the one interested in ME" and "Yesterday you told me you were ready to take it to the next level with me". Stuff like that. After another thirty fucking minutes he finally replied and said something like "I hope we learn things from this, probably don't date a kid with a bunch of mental disorders, Goodnight."

I told him that it would've been fine if he just wanted to be friends with me, but that lying to me so he could go after my friend was a totally different deal. Then I told him that having mental disorders wasn't an excuse for his behavior, because as far as I'm concerned.. being a cheating, lying piece of shit isn't on the list of criteria for Autism OR Schizophrenia on the DSM-5. Then I blocked him. 🤷

─── ⋆⋅ ♰ ⋅⋆ ───

Average week in the life of Olive I guess!! But yeah, thats not even HALF of what's happened to me in the last five months lmao. Wait till y'all hear what else I have in store, because everything just somehow manages to get worse.

─── ⋆⋅ ♰ ⋅⋆ ───

[pastshadows]

Shadows of the Past

Summary: After a year of blissful cohabitation, Astarion disappears without a trace, leaving behind a heartfelt letter explaining his departure. Determined to find him, you traverse Faerûn in search of your lost love, only to realize that some absences are meant to be permanent.

Returning to Waterdeep, you find solace in the company of Gale as you come to terms with Astarion's absence. But just as you begin to heal, Astarion reappears, begging for a second chance at love.

The question looms: can you forgive his abandonment and trust him once more? As you grapple with your emotions and trauma, a sinister force lurks in the shadows, targeting you for unknown reasons.

With danger closing in, you must navigate the treacherous waters of trust, love, and betrayal to uncover the truth behind the mysterious entity's motives. Will you be able to reunite with Astarion while facing the demons of your past? Can you unravel the secrets that threaten your very existence?

Setting: Post End-Game. Mostly canon compliant.

Content: Explicit 18+ - intended for mature audiences [Slow Burn].

Warnings: [Additional tags will be added, but expect mature content. Read at your own risk.}

Spoilers. Mentions of in-game missable content. Violence. Implied/Attempted Sexual Assault [Chapter 7]. Past Trauma. Murder. Death. Longing. Sexual themes. Smut. Blood drinking. Angst. Innuendos. High use of sarcasm. Completely fabricated camp interactions.

Additional Notes:

Tav is named - starts in Chapter 10.

Fabricated camp events as well as mentions of in-game story events.

Tav will likely have her own backstory.

Some details of Tav's appearance are/will be mentioned.

Mentions of Tav being a High Elf Draconic Sorcerer.

I am not familiar with the rules of DnD 5e, or how they affect the world, so for story purposes, some things may be fabricated and not congruent. I will try to avoid this as much as I can.

I write, edit and proofread most of my own works (big thank you to my friends who accept my infatuation and help me), I do apologize if there are typos or Incongruent content.

Chapter 1: Abandonment

Chapter 2: Home & Heartache

Chapter 3: Escape & Evade

Chapter 4: Magic and Mischief

Chapter 5: Soaked in Desire

Chapter 6: Reminiscence

Chapter 7: Complications Abound

Chapter 8: Flight

Chapter 9: Midnight Masquerade

Chapter 10: Eclipsing Shadows

Chapter 11: Fate's Folly

Chapter 12: Growth

Chapter 13: Imprisonment

Chapter 14: Peril

Chapter 15: Home

Chapter 16: Ruins

Chapter 17: Let Me Forget

Chapter 18: Who Are You?

Chapter 19: I Will Find You.

Chapter 20: A Plea for Tomorrow

Chapter 21: Scars Shine White in the Light

Chapter 22: Masks and Moonlight

Chapter 23: More

Chapter 24: Can You Turn Back to the Light?

Chapter 25: Hunting Ground

AO3: Crossposted

If you're interested, I also write a fanfic for Ascended Astarion x Spawn Tav - Fangs and Fractured Hearts

There is also an Evil Durge x AA fic exclusively under my A03 called "Lie to Me." They are a chaotic power couple.

[hsvh-hp]

Hiii! 💝 and 🌈 for the ask game. :)

Oooh ok so—

💝what is a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?

I had to think on this one for a while because it seems like about 75% of the time I'm off the mark on how a fic performs, lol. I've learned to expect nothing and then be pleasantly surprised when anything gets any engagement. After writing a handful of Drarry fics, anything else can be really humbling in comparison! That part of the HP fandom is just that massive.

To answer the question, I would say None So Vile. It was a fest fic, of which mine generally don't do as well as my other works. It featured a rare pair: Sirius/Rabastan, which at this time of writing has a whopping 12 works attributed to it on AO3. I (spoiler alert) killed off Remus in it, and rather callously at that since Sirius was responsible for his death. It's implied at the end of the fic that Sirius will shortly (and happily) become a Death Eater.

But people seemed to really like it! It's my most popular non-Drarry fest fic, and the comments are overwhelmingly positive. I thought I'd get like, 5 kudos and maybe one comment going 'umm Sirius wouldn't do all this, kys' that would just end up deleted once I finished rolling my eyes lmao.

🌈is there a fic that you worked *really fucking hard on* that no one would ever know? maybe a scene/theme you struggled with?

This one is easy. I still have writer PTSD from Across the Multiverse, lol.

I wrote it entirely before posting in weekly updates, like I usually do for longfics. The first 9 chapters were solid, but I started having problems around chapter 10...and didn't realize until I had posted that far. So instead of being a normal person and putting the fic on hiatus while I fixed all the issues (it reeeally needed to be more fleshed out in the second half), I raced the clock and rewrote chapters 10-20 while keeping to my update schedule.

On top of that, and not that I minded the reader feedback at all!, but posting each new chapter was so stressful for what plotholes I might have missed being pointed out, what language was unclear, etc. I really wished that I'd thought of getting a beta reader. But I was on my own, and for the first time in a very long time as a writer, that was scary.

Thank you so much for asking! 😘

[dari-ede]

In the Middle of the Night: Chapter 18 (M)

Chapter 18: "Loving Me Might be Dangerous"

Chapters: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15 - 16 - 17 - 18 - 19 - 20 - 21 - 22 - 23 - 24 - 25 - 26 - 27 - 28 - 29 - 30

MASTERLIST

Summary: As Bangtan prepares for a new chapter in their lives, they head to their private property in the forest for a songwriting workshop. As a songwriter and producer they have worked with for years, I’m asked to tag along. I was ready for the heavy workload and small amount of sleep during the workshop week. However, I wasn’t ready for the storm that came that changed my friendship with Namjoon forever.

Pairing: Idol!RM/Namjoon x OFC

Genre: Friends to Lovers, Fluff and Smut

Trigger warning/spoilers: talk of trauma, implied abusive/toxic relationship, implied sexual abuse/assault

Rating: M (explicit language, scenes)

Status: COMPLETE

AN: Sorry for the later-than-usual post (once again). As I was editing this week, the first half of this chapter went through a HUGE revision. The chapter was already done but as I did my final edit, I noticed it needed a whole rewrite. The closer we get to the end of this story, the more I need to go back to revise some things. We are closer to the end than we are to the beginning, everyone. Thank you so much for staying with me!

Warning/spoilers: oral sex, swallowing, breast play, multiple orgasms

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-Weeks Later-

Overnight bag in hand, I arrived at Namjoon’s front door, knocking excitedly late at night.

The door flung open no more than a couple of seconds later, deep dimples welcoming me.

Once inside, Namjoon took the bag from me and pulled me in for an open-mouth kiss.

I kicked off my shoes as the door shut behind us. My tongue welcomed the intrusion as I let out a deep moan.

The tension between the two of us the entire day had been intense. Due to the online concert taking place tomorrow, all week long, we hadn’t seen much of each other. The most we had seen of one another was today at rehearsal. But because of the dozens of eyes and cameras surrounding us, we were forced to keep a distance. We stole a few glances at each other but ensured we didn’t get too close. For hours we were around each other but had not touched or spoken much. Suffice it to say, the spark between us continued to ignite and felt like it would explode at any moment.

At the chance I had to leave the stadium, I did Namjoon’s text came no more than a minute after I announced I was leaving.

MONI: Be at my house in two hours. If I don’t answer, use the code. No nightwear. Just you.

I must have read it at least dozens of times, imagining his deep, demanding tone in my ear. My pussy had been wet ever since.

I hadn’t fully listened to his instructions, though. I did bring an overnight bag with me that contained any necessities I would need. I didn’t intend to come back home before the concert, so I would be getting ready at Namjoon’s place tomorrow. However, I did listen to him and brought no nightwear. I fully believed him that there would be no need for clothes tonight.

Namjoon began to walk us toward his room. I wasn’t good at walking backward, so I held onto his shoulders and jumped onto his chest. I had climbed on him enough by now that his body had learned to catch me nicely.

Our lips did not detach the entire walk to his room. He set my bag down somewhere and softly set me down on the bed. It was much smoother than the first time he had placed me on his mattress weeks ago.

“What’s so funny?” he asked between kisses.

Damn, I hadn’t realized I was laughing. “Nothing,” I lied. “Just keep kissing me,” I pleaded, not wanting to ruin the magic. We had gone so long without touching; I didn’t want this to stop.

“Did you get a nap in?” he asked, his hands taking hold of my shirt and pulling.

I knew what he was implying. “Don’t worry. Your cock is a good source of dopamine,” I said as I pulled his pants, my hand making its way to his thickness.

He let out a grunt as he pulled off my pants and panties at the same time. His long fingers took a handful of my ass and squeezed. “Your mouth has gotten filthier.” He pushed us further into the bed, making me settle in the middle with him between my legs.

I let go of his cock and felt it move on its own, pleading for me for attention. I pushed up against his chest to sit up. “You complaining about my mouth?” I questioned as my mouth took hold of that space between his neck and ear. The spot I learned drove him nuts.

He let out a groan, a hand of his reaching up to take hold of my tit to squeeze. “Only because it’s not around my cock right now.” He dived in and took a mouthful of me. His tongue darted out to run circles around my nipple.

I let out a squeak, scratching at his back when I felt his teeth lightly graze my skin.

Namjoon wasn’t much of a dirty talker with me. Around his guy friends, I would overhear him and make nasty jokes, but around girls, he was always mindful. He had loosened up around me in the last couple of years, but since we had become an item his language was getting dirtier. It was definitely a turn-on.

He was in the middle of worshiping my breast when I surprised him and rolled him off me. I settled myself on his lap, his cock standing straight up.

I reached between us, taking his member and navigating it to where I needed it. “I’ll do it once it tastes like us.” I descended on him before he could ask what I meant. My pussy stretched and slightly burned at the sensation. His cock was still too big for my pussy to take without foreplay.

His hands came to my hips, helping me take and gripping me tightly. “You’re tight.”

Maybe I should have stimulated myself before taking him in or at least used lube, but it was too late for that, he was already inside. And while I felt slight discomfort, the sting felt also incredible. I took a breath, looking down at the glorious creature underneath me. The dragon eyes were staring up at me, the sweat dripping off his body felt too delicious to be coming off a normal human, and the grip holding me felt more like claws. This was the kind of sex that got me off the most; the kind that I tended to prefer when I was in deep need of release: the wild kind. And judging by the look of pure ecstasy coming from Namjoon’s face, he needed to tap into that wilder part of himself.

His hands came to the swell of my breasts and traveled down to my nipples. He took each of them into his fingers and rolled the buds, sending quivers right into my pussy.

I used my knees to move, going slow at first. My body needed to get used to him before I could go at my preferred pace, which tended to be rough and fast. Thankfully, the discomfort quickly faded and all I could feel was pleasure. I quickened my movements.

Namjoon’s hands were still on my hips, supporting me more than controlling me. “You look damn good riding me, girl.”

My movements only became more erratic with his praise, feeling my orgasm approaching.

He sat up, his mouth coming to my tit again. He slurped and feasted on it like a starved man. I had no milk to give, but I believed if he continued the way he did, some would appear.

His hips came up to meet mine, his thighs slamming into mine. I could see a vein appear across his neck. He was getting close, but I didn’t want him to.

“Not yet,” I said breathlessly, my fingers scratching at his chest. “Me first.”

He took a deep breath to still himself. Then moved one of his hands between us. His thumb touched my clit, pushing me to the brink. I let out a cry as blackness came over.

As my orgasm took over, Namjoon’s thrusts continued, but at a slower pace.

“Close,” his husky voice let out once my body had settled against his.

I pulled out of him, quickly, and made my way down his cock. My lips engulfed his thickness, and I could see his eyes roll back once he was in my mouth.

The taste of my tangy sweetness combined with his salty, sour goodness was enough to make me want to cum again. I controlled myself and focused on bringing him to his peak. Keeping eye contact with him, I pulled back, pulling his cock out of my mouth with a pop. “We taste fucking good,” I mumbled and went back to dining on his gorgeous cock.

He let out a moan, the vein in his neck coming back. “Shit. I can’t hold it.”

I took him in both my hands and pumped him. “I want to drink you,” I said desperately.

He looked ready to lose it. I stroked him faster and reached underneath him to squeeze his jewels. He let out a grunt and pushed into my throat, his stomach hitting my nose. I let out a gagging sound and the noise seemed to do it for him. A warm, fuzzy liquid jetted down my throat. I drank as much as I could.

Namjoon let out a grunt, pulled back, and pushed in a little at my mouth once more before falling back onto the bed. His massive cock exited my mouth and a copious amount of my spit mixed with some of his milky cum pulled out as well. The string of spit connected his dick to my mouth. I used the mix of liquids to stroke his cock. He twitched a bit at the overstimulation.

“You’re gonna kill me,” he let out, taking deep breaths in trying to calm himself.

I giggled and crawled my way up his body, my body craving cuddles.

Usually, after sex, we shared a calm moment before starting up again, but Namjoon’s kisses and caresses were bluntly telling me he was ready for round two.

He was needing to blow off steam. It wasn’t just about needing my body or the stress of the online concert, but something else was bothering him. I wasn’t shy about sex and used it plenty of times myself as a stress reliever. I didn’t mind him using my body to release some of my pent-up emotions. Especially when he made sure I was always left me plenty satisfied.

His palms took hold of the back of my thighs, bending them until they reached my shoulders. My legs were spread before him, allowing my pussy to be in full display for him. His mouth came down on my cunt and ate me like a starved man.

This was going to be a long night. And I was going to fucking enjoy every moment of it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The woodsy scent in the air was the first thing I caught on to as I woke up. The scent was too powerful so I knew I wasn’t in my own home. I had slept in this room a handful of times already to know I was in Namjoon’s bedroom. Last night had gone for hours. It had taken a few hours for Namjoon to have quenched his thirst. While I was fully taken over desire along with him, in the back of my mind, I knew Namjoon was dealing with something—news he must have gotten after I had left.

As I opened my eyes, I found Namjoon was not in bed with me. This came as no surprise. Artists rarely got a full night’s rest right before a show.

I rolled out of the bed, my body feeling a little sore from the night’s events. I walked towards the full-length mirror to witness the aftermath. Even with the poor light, I could easily detect small bruising along my thighs and hips. My breasts were slightly red and a bit swollen.

There was nothing about last night that I hadn’t enjoyed, but I knew this was going to be a heavy topic this morning. I mindfully got myself ready.

I went over to my overnight bag and pulled out a fresh pair of panties and then looked around to see what I could put on since I hadn’t brought any nightwear. I found one of Namjoon’s many Fear of God tees and slipped it on.

Once clothed, I made my way out of the room in search of him.

I spotted him in his dining room, sitting in his reading chair which was surrounded by dozens of books. He was deep in thought reading when I found him, not hearing me come in. He was hunched over, elbows laid on his legs, reading a heavy book. He was sporting his thick, reading glasses that made him look the perfect combination of adorable and hot.

I wanted to just stand there and absorb him, but when he began to roll his neck around and stretch out his neck, I instinctively walked over. His neck and shoulder problems would always be an issue for him but he would never want to make a big deal out of it.

It wasn’t until he felt my hands on his shoulders that he noticed me.

He jumped, startled, but quickly settled. “Ah, you scared me.”

“Sorry,” I said, continuing my massage. “How long have you been up?”

Namjoon closed his book and settled on the chair, giving in to my touch. “Too long.”

I found a nasty knot. The moment I applied the right amount of pressure on him, he let out a grunt. Yeah, something was definitely up. “Want to talk about it?”

“What do you mean?” he asked with some hesitation.

He needed honesty. “Your body is a bundle of stress. We hardly spoke last night. Not to mention, while I enjoyed every bit of it, you were a little rougher than usual.”

At this Namjoon’s entire body snapped towards me, his eyes frantically searching my body.

I had slight regret in admitting this but knew that if I wanted Namjoon to be honest with me, I needed to be as well. There was no way he was going to let me in unless I gave a little.

“I’m fine,” I said once he spotted a large bruise right below the hem of the t-shirt. When he didn’t turn away and looked to be remorseful, I took his chin in my hand and forced him to look up at me. “You did nothing I didn’t enjoy.”

He opened his mouth and looked to say two words I really didn’t want him to.

I stopped it with a gentle kiss. “If you want to make it up to me, you can talk to me about what’s going on.”

He let out a sigh and settled back onto his seat.

I let go of his hand and walked over to the armchair adjacent to it, one closer to the kitchen.

“We’re doing a few shows in Vegas in April,” he said.

Immediately, I felt thrilled about the news. It was something the company had been aiming for, some of the guys had shared the possibility of it some weeks ago with me. They had been excited about it, so I was puzzled as to why Namjoon didn’t look over the moon.

I didn’t say a word, however, allowing Namjoon plenty of time to voice his thoughts to me. After a moment, he seemed to be ready. “We have four shows here in Seoul, but I wanted to do more. Maybe some in Busan, but higher-ups want to wait until after Seoul to see if regulations were to lighten up. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy we’ll be going to Vegas, but….” He stopped himself, looking guilty.

I finished it for him, “But it’s not home. You want more shows here.”

There was a small and shameful nod. “Am I being ungrateful?”

“No,” I said instantly. “I think it’s normal to have conflicting emotions about everything. There’s the excitement of shows, but also the disappointment that things aren’t speeding up the way you need them to. You can feel multiple things at once.”

He gave a nod, but his eyes told me there was something more. His shoulders were still sagging from carrying a heavy load he didn’t want on him.

“What else?” I pushed a little.

He let out a restless sigh. “There’s something I haven’t yet told you.”

“What?”

He avoided my eyes. “The seven of us have decided to make a deal with each other. We’ve been talking about it all summer long and it’s honestly one of the reasons why we’re letting go of the dorms. It’s not so much that we’re needing space—which definitely is part of it—but it has more to do with what we’re planning for the future.”

I held my breath, my heart hammering hard against my chest. In the pit of my stomach, I knew what this was in regard to. Every time I thought about this, I got sick to my stomach.

Namjoon’s eyes moved up to meet mine. The beautiful irises that could make me to mush and could turn up my desire were now tearing at my heartstrings. He looked so defeated. “We’re giving it until the summer for the government to figure out what they want to do about our enlistment. If things are still up in the air, Jin-hyung wants to just be done with it and enlist by the end of summer. He’s done waiting—done making noona feel like she’s walking on a tightrope. And the rest of us want to follow him.”

There it was, my heart sinking and getting stomped on. I felt the tears appear, but seeing Namjoon already crying, I held it together. There could only be one of us in shambles at the moment. Two being fully emotional did no one any good.

“Would it be the same time as Jin?” I asked, my voice slightly shaking.

He shook his head slightly. “We would leave in less than a year of him.”

I nodded, inclining I understood. An image flashed in my mind of going an entire day without communicating with Namjoon. The simple thought made me feel like vomiting. I couldn’t remember the last time I went longer than 24 hours without hearing from Namjoon. Especially since we had gotten together. We didn’t go more than 24 hours from seeing each other. To have to go longer? It seriously made me sick to my stomach.

And as bad as I felt on the inside, Namjoon looked much worse on the outside.

My best friend was someone who was fully in touch with his emotions, never allowing himself to be closed off. It was one of the many things I adored about him. How he could feel so much all at once and hold no shame or guilt or shyness for it was admirable.

“I know we just started out,” he let out, his voice shaking but still in control. “But it just makes me angry. And I then feel ashamed for feeling angry.”

I went over to him, crouching in front of him and taking his face into my hands. “We got plenty of time.”

He shook his head but allowed himself to fall into my touch. “I think last night that’s all I kept thinking about. Not being with you. And I guess my body just took over.”

It made sense. If I knew my days were numbered before my freedom was taken away for eighteen months, I would have craved to do it as much as possible. I would want to make every experience count.

“I’m sorry for hurting you,” he said, his eyes watering with guilt.

I stood myself up and settled on his lap. The chair was wide and fit us both, but only with my legs right above his own. “I have zero complaints about last night.”

His hands were on my back instantly.

I leaned in, claiming his lips. “Please believe me when I say you didn’t hurt me.”

“You sure?” he asked, his emotions settling.

I nodded. “I’d kick your ass if you ever did something I didn’t like,” I said half-jokingly.

It got him to at least smile a little.

“And as we’ve said before, we’re taking it slow. There’s no need to rush. Whatever happens, happens in due time,” I said gently, my hands stroking his cheeks. “We have plenty of time.”

“You’re leaving next month,” he said almost bluntly, a hint of sourness in his tone.

“Only for two months; I’ll be back by the end of January.”

He pulled me closer, taking a deep breath as if to take my essence into his scent. “Promise?”

I held up my pinky. He brought up his large hand and used his own slender pinky to wrap around my much smaller one.

He let out a giggle and scrunched up his face at seeing my tiny pinky. “Cute!” He maneuvered his thumb to press against mine, locking the promise.

Normally, I would argue against his description of me, but seeing his scrunched-up face made me act out in cute aggression myself. I took his cheeks into my hands and pinched them. “You look so good. I could eat you!”

I dived in and took his lips in mine.

At that moment, there was an odd sound that seemed to come from my stomach. Simultaneously, we both moved our heads toward the sound with a look of confusion.

My stomach churned again, and this time it was followed by an ache.

Namjoon let out a chuckle. “Sadly, it’s not enough to quench your hunger. Let’s get something in that stomach of yours.” He moved a little, tapping my thigh so I could move off.

A big part of me wanted to continue staying where we were, but now that I was aware of my hunger for food, I couldn’t ignore it.

“I could order something for us,” Namjoon offered.

“How about I just cook,” I offered. “I’ve been wanting to since you made us dinner on our first date.” I looked up at him with hopeful eyes.

“Good luck finding something in there,” he warned.

I lifted off him. “Shower first?”

He gave me a suggestive smile. “Together?” He came closer to me.

I pulled away from temptation. “We’re gonna end up in the same situation as last night if I join you and we gotta leave in a few hours,” I reminded him, keeping my eyes on his face.

“You make a good point.” He turned away and headed to his bedroom. “I could take the guest shower if you want to take mine.”

I agreed, simply because I was used to his already.

I was about to step away so I could start my shower, but Namjoon's hands on my tee made me stop. He had a look on his face as he stared down at me.

"What?" I asked, looking down to see what it was that had him looking aroused. All I saw were my bare legs.

"I like you in my clothes," he mumbled. His hands made their way under the material, his slender fingers feeling like hot coal against my skin. "Put this back on after you shower." He turned and left before I could answer.

A smile appeared on my face at the knowledge that I learned something else that Nmajoon found attractive.

We met in the kitchen not too long after, both feeling refreshed. As per Namjoon's instructions, I put his t-shirt back on.

Namjoon entered the kitchen and let out a small groan as he came behind me. He rubbed my backside as he asked what he could help with. I fought back a smile as I gave him instructions. I scrambled the eggs as he chopped the onions next to me. I could see he was dicing them, even though I had asked him to slice them. I smiled but didn’t correct him.

“What are you humming?” he asked as diced away.

I hadn’t realized I was singing the melody in my head out loud. “It’s been stuck in my head these last couple of days. Can’t seem to shake it off.” I took the eggs off the heat and stirred.

A loud clunk came from where Namjoon was. “Aghhh.”

I immediately turned and went towards him. “What happened?”

He was holding his finger as he had a look of pain on his face. “I think it’s a splinter.”

But he had been cutting onions, how in the hell did he end up with a splinter? I looked down and took notice of the knife handle. It was wood. I let out a sigh. Only Namjoon would have the bad luck of getting a splinter from a knife handle. “Can you see the splinter?”

“I think so,” he said, examining his finger. He wheezed as he seemed to push on it.

“Ok. Please, don’t do anything. Let me go get some tweezers.” I rushed out of the room, hoping he would listen.

I was back at his side in less than a minute and the look on his face told me he was more than uncomfortable. Thankfully, he had listened and hadn’t touched anything.

I maneuvered us closer to the window for better light. Using my tweezers, I was able to pull it all out in one go. “How does it feel?” I asked, looking up at him.

“Stings a little,” he said with a face. “But it feels like you got it all.”

I brought his finger to my lips and kissed it. “Now?” I asked with a smile.

He let out a chuckle. “Much better. Here I thought I was going to need a painkiller, but that cured it easily.”

“I’m your personal painkiller,” I said teasingly as I began to clean his area. “Are you still up to cutting the onion and kimchi?” I asked.

He nodded and went back to chopping with a new cutting board, knife, and onion in hand. After a while, he started humming my melody. “You’re my painkiller,” he sang.

It sent me into laughter. I turned on the stove, ready to finally start cooking. Namjoon continued to create lyrics to the melody I had come up with. It wasn’t long before I started making up lyrics alongside him. He sang off-key but kept with the beat.

We continued cooking our breakfast as we created this song together. At one point, Namjoon took out his phone and recorded us singing. The songwriter in him was always alert.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hours before the concert, I found myself sitting in my dressing room for the concert. Since I was a guest and the only female, I had my own room. Hair and makeup had finished with me and had left to assist the dancers. I wasn’t fully dressed yet since my part in the concert was come late in the show.

The guys had finished soundcheck and getting ready themselves. Bored by being alone, I sent a message to the guys to see their whereabouts. Tae immediately answered.

WEIRDO: Namjoon-hyung and I are in a dressing room together. I was about to head to the green room. You can have your privacy…. 😉

ME: Thank you 😏

MONI: thanks, bro

GLOSS: Be sure to lock that door….

I made it to the dressing room in record time, knocking on the door without waiting.

The door opened and I was greeted by Taehyung and one of the makeup artists. He gave me a knowing grin. “Hi, noona. What are you doing here?”

I wanted to kick him, but the makeup artist was looking at me as well. He was lucky I was quick on my feet. “I need to discuss one of the tracks for the new album with Namjoon.”

Taehyung rose his eyebrows, looking impressed with my quick response. “Lucky for you, we’re heading out.” He and the makeup artist made their way out, Tae limping while doing so.

I suddenly remembered what occurred during rehearsal. “Tae, how are you feeling?”

“It’s a sprain. Can’t do any choreo.” Taehyung gave a sad shrug, his mouth turned downside.

I closed the distance between us and gave him a warm hug. He leaned heavily in as I rubbed his back. “I know you’re disappointed. I’m sorry, jagi.”

He gave a nod, hugged me tight once more, and pulled away. “Thank you, I’ll see you in a bit.” He and the makeup artist made their way out.

My heart squeezed as I watched my friend leave. It was going to be a tough performance for him, but he would be fine. His health had to come first.

I pushed the door closed and turned back around. There, in front of me stood a tall, gorgeous man. “You look handsome,” I said as I walked over to him.

He frowned and looked down at himself. “I’m in a t-shirt. I haven’t even started hair or makeup.”

“And?” I reached for a kiss.

He leaned the rest of the way and after our peck, he took hold of my hand and walked us to his chair.

Once he sat down, we were almost at eye level. I reached over and traced my fingers across the shaved strips on his head. “Do you think you’re going to keep the look?”

His arms wrapped around me, pulling me closer. “No. It’s mostly for promotion,” he answered. “Why? Do you like it on me?”

I placed my forearms on his shoulders, steadying myself. “I like every look on you.”

“Liar.” He laughed. “You didn’t like the mullet,” he teased.

“How much alone time do we have? You’re going to have to meet up with the guys, right?” I asked, trying to sway the conversation elsewhere.

“Plenty,” he said as his large fingers traveled to my backside. He had a look in his eyes.

“Namjoon-ssi,” I warned, but my body still melted against his touch.

“I missed you at lunch.” His voice was low as he pulled me in, his lips coming to my neck.

I let out a moan. I had missed him, too. “Will you be able to spend the night?” I asked without thinking. We had already reached our weekly limit of sleepovers.

He let out a grunt. “I would love to but my parents—”

Before he could finish his sentence, there was a knock at the door.

I immediately pushed off Namjoon. Stupid me hadn’t locked the door.

“Yeah?” Namjoon called out as he straightened up in his chair.

“Jooni, it’s us,” came a deep kind voice from the other side of the door.

I knew the voice well and it only hiked my anxiety.

“Come in. The door is open.”

I put some more distance between us and took a breath to calm myself. The door opened and a good-looking older couple walked into the room, bright smiles on their faces.

I greeted them in a polite form. While I had gotten close to Namjoon’s parents in my time living here, I always acted in my best behavior around them. “Hello, eomeonim, abeonim.”

Eomeonim greeted me with a warm embrace. “Maiwa, where have you been? We haven’t seen you in so long.”

Abeonim’s embrace was a shorter one. “Is Jooni keeping you all to himself?” He turned over to Namjoon and gave his son a playful smile.

Namjoon made his way over to his parents. “Shouldn’t I get hugged first?”

Eomeonim wrapped her arms around her son. “We saw you several days ago. We haven’t seen Maiwi in months. When are you going to bring her around?”

Namjoon took a breath. “Eomma, we’ve been busy.”

“You can’t spare us two hours? We would like to have dinner with the two of you.” Eomeonim reached out for my hand and gave it a squeeze. “A celebration to your relationship. When Namjoonie told us, I was ecstatic! I’ve been rooting for the two of you—”

“Yeobo, let the girl breathe,” Abeonim said as he rubbed his wife’s shoulders, trying to calm her. “Jooni has asked for space. Let’s honor his wishes.”

I was grateful for Abeonim. I was starting to get slightly embarrassed.

“Eomma, we’re taking it slow. Plus, we’re both booked back-to-back until the Los Angeles concert. I don’t get to see her as much anymore.” Namjoon’s voice was respectful but stern. I knew he didn’t want to disregard his mother but seemed to be creating boundaries.

Eomeonim let out a breath. “Alright. I get it.” She turned to me with a sweet smile. “I miss having you over. You haven’t been around in months now.”

I felt a pinch of guilt. “My apologies. I’ll message you. I promise. It might not be until after the Los Angeles concert that we don’t get to hang out. I’ve been talking to Sissy on the phone and we’re already making plans to shop around while the guys are in LA. Want to join us?”

“Oh yes! That will be wonderful!”

With Eomeonim settled, I made some excuse of needing to leave to get ready.

I gave them each a hug before I headed out and gave Namjoon a small smile. I adored his parents, but I was feeling my nerves tipping close to the edge. I wanted to make sure the next time we spoke, I had enough time to mentally prepare myself. They had sprung at us a little too soon for my liking.

I made my way toward the green room, where the rest of the guys were. It was a good walk in the sense that it was enough time to allow me to calm myself.

The closer I got to the room; I heard the amount of noise coming from the inside. I made my way in and noticed most of the guys were there.

Yoongi was on his chair staying perfectly still, phone in hand while being handled by hair and makeup. Jin sat a few feet in a similar position. Jimin and Jungkook, on the other hand, were being loud and rowdy while their poor makeup artists tried to get them ready.

Taehyung was the one to immediately notice me, “Where’s Namjoonie?”

“With his parents,” I said simply, making my way over to a deserted seat, which was close to Jimin and Jungkook.

Behind me, I could hear Yoongi giggling.

I turned, feeling as if I knew what he was thinking about.

“What’s with the laugh?” Jin asked, sure instigating.

“Oh, I left my phone unlocked. I had some private things I wanted to keep hidden. Has that happened to you lately, Maiwa? Have you left your phone unlocked and someone walks in to find some compromising things?” Yoongi held complete eye contact with me.

“Maiwa has a tendency of never locking things, so I imagine people walking in and finding some stuff on her phone,” Jin added. He had the same sadistic humor as the old man sitting next to him.

Thankfully, it didn’t seem as if any of the staff was picking up on their Morse Code. When I knew none of the staff was looking, I sent the two oldest members of the group the finger.

As Yoongi and Jin shared a laugh, Jungkook and Jimin began to do vocal warmups. Jungkook invited me, which I did.

Their warmups differed from the ones I used but we tried each other’s techniques. It had been a while since performing on stage and I mentioned to the guys how I had started to take vocal lessons to prepare for the show.

“Did you really take vocal lessons for this?” Jimin asked me, looking surprised.

I nodded. “My voice needed work. It was a bad idea to stop the lessons in the first place.”

“But your voice is great,” Jimin said, not understanding.

I wasn’t going to deny it or pretend to be humble about it. I was proud of my vocal abilities. I struggled with many things in my career, but the one thing that came naturally was singing.

“Not as great as it is when I take vocal lessons,” I said.

“Jungkook doesn’t really take them,” Jimin said, motioning to his teammate next to him.

Jungkook turned away from us and to his phone.

It was a disagreement Jungkook and I typically had: how often to take vocal lessons. I decided to give Jimin my point of view. “I get and respect Jungkook’s opinion on why he doesn’t take too many vocal lessons. I know he wants to be as authentic as he can with his voice and create a tone and style that is completely his own. However, in my opinion, going without a vocal coach can be detrimental to your chords in the long run. Even Celine Dion, who is one of the best vocalists, takes vocal lessons regularly. I think it depends on the vocalist.”

Jungkook nodded in agreement to my last statement.

Jimin gave a short nod and looked to consider my words.

I knew Jimin struggled with his voice and wasn’t satisfied with it. He had past baggage with his voice. Those who cared about him were sensitive around him about it. I wasn’t sure if it was my place to give my opinion to so many people around us, so I kept my mouth shut. I reached over to my water and took a long gulp.

Jimin looked around at seeing me drinking. “I’m thirsty, too,” he mumbled as he spun around the room, trying to find his own bottle.

Jungkook was in the middle of sipping his own water, his lips not touching the rim of it. Wordlessly, Jungkook extended his bottle to Jimin.

Jimin took it, placed it directly on his lips, and drank the water quickly. “Thanks,” he said as he offered the bottle back to Jungkook.

But Jungkook didn’t move to retrieve it. “Did you put your mouth right on the bottle?” His face looked slightly appalled.

Jimin let out a nervous laugh, recognizing his mistake. “Sorry.”

All the guys were cautious when it came to their drinks. They hardly sipped from the rim of bottles. To them, it kept things sanitized and each other safe, just in case.

However, I never understood this practice with them. “What does it matter if you two swap spit?” I asked.

Jungkook looked at me in disbelief. “I don’t want his germs.”

“You guys share lip balms,” I pointed out. “You feed each other constantly—meaning your chopsticks touch someone else’s lips or your fingers go into someone else’s mouth.”

“That’s different,” came a voice.

We turned and found Namjoon walking over to us. His lips twitched as he looked at me. He wanted to get a rise out of me.

And like an idiot, I took his bait. “How is it different?” I challenged.

“The amount of saliva that comes out when you’re drinking out of water is substantially more than when you share lip balms,” he countered.

“It’s still spitting, is it not?” I demanded. “So if one of you is sick, whether it’s a lip balm or water, you got each other’s germs regardless.”

“But it’s also that some of that water makes it inside of your mouth and then back into the bottle. Some of that liquid has swirled all over your mouth. It would be like kissing each other,” he tried to rationalize.

“You guys share food,” I pointed out. “You put your mouth into that food to take a bite, do you not? Wouldn’t that be the same as kissing?”

“But the food doesn’t make it past the teeth because I would bite it off. It’s still not that much saliva that would be shared. Now, when it comes to liquids, some of it makes it past the teeth and deeper into the mouth.” His eyes twinkled as he said this, clearly knowing he was making a stretch.

I called him out on it. “You are so full of shit.”

The room filled with laughter.

But he refused to accept defeat. For the next few minutes, we went back and forth. Namjoon coming up with bullshit counterpoints and excuses about the whole water bottle thing. His answers became so ridiculous that I couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity. He couldn’t hold it together himself either and eventually laughed at his own reasons.

The guys went back and forth between prepping for the show and goofing off. Before we knew it, it was time for the guys to head to the stage.

All seven of them, along with their team and me, made their way. Right before stepping out, the guys gathered together, did their huddle, and walked up the stage. Namjoon was the last to disperse and took a look back as he did so, catching my eyes. He sent me a blink-and-you-will-miss-it wink and hurried out.

How did that man make me into a puddle of mush when no more than an hour ago, I wanted to wring his neck?

I watched them backstage, admiring how great they performed but at the same time anxious for my time to join them.

My tia Jia sent me several messages of encouragement. And on the few times that I felt myself starting to psych myself out, I would reread them. I had been on stage more times than I could remember, but I could never get rid of the butterflies right before I went on. And the closer I got to perform, the sicker I felt.

A warm hand pressed on my side. Eomeonim appeared next to me, a smile on her face that was striking to Namjoon’s—minus the dimples. My anxiety stilled a little. “All of you singers are the same. Always so nervous right before going on stage.”

I gave her a nod. “Yeah.”

“There’s no point in telling you that everything is going to be alright. It doesn’t help does it?”

“Sometimes,” I lied, not wanting to hurt her feelings.

She gave me a look that told me she didn’t believe me. I instantly felt a heat on my cheeks. I had never felt so uneasy around Namjoon’s mother. But things were different now. However, her warm smile came back. The one that always put me at ease. “I meant it when I said I’m happy about the two of you. You’re a great friend to him. He’s always in such good spirits when he talks about you. He says you understand him in ways he can’t understand himself.” A brightness came to her eyes and I was certain there was a tear in there.

It made me worry. “Eomeonim, what’s wrong?”

“He’s been having a rough time. And he won’t tell me why.” She gave me a look that silently asked me a question.

I looked down, not able to answer her. It wasn’t my place to tell her about Namjoon’s stress. I wasn't sure what he had shared with her. I made a mental note to talk to him about this. I didn't want to accidentally spill something he didn't want his mother to know. They had a good and trusting relationship, but I knew Namjoon at times kept some things from his parents until he was ready to share. He liked to think things through first.

Eomeonim accepted my silence. “Can you be sure to look after him? I know you already are, but can you take extra care of him?”

I nodded. “Of course.”

“Thank you,” she said softly, clutching my hand.

“Maya-ssi?” someone called out to me.

I turned and found a staff member looking at me. “You’re almost up.”

Eomeonim and I shared a hug and I made my way out to the stage.

Even though it was an online concert, the fact that millions of people were watching still made me nervous.

I got into position, waiting for my cue. As soon as I was given it, all my nerves left me on that stage.

---------

MASTERLIST

Chapters: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15 - 16 - 17 - 18 - 19 - 20 - 21 - 22 - 23 - 24 - 25 - 26 - 27 - 28 - 29 - 30

[ohworm-writes]

hello! :) so u know how kuon has a crush on sniper right ? can i get an imagine where reader is jealous bc of kuon, cuz u know, her crush on sniper etc etc (sorry i'm just vv lazy at typing), and how sniper reacts to it ?? can u make it like they're still friends but have mutual feelings for each other as they hang out as a unit, and they get together in the end bc sum confessions happened !! sorry if u don't get it i'm rlly bad at explaining but thank u in advance if u do this !! <33

High-Rise Invasion/Tenkuu Shinpan: Sniper Mask Boyfriend Imagine

high-rise invasion/tenkuu shinpan masterlist

‼ Jealous Reader (over Kuon) + Make up + Confession ‼

Featuring: Sniper Mask, Yuri Honjo, Mayuko Nise (implied), Kuon Shinzaki (implied)

Warnings: frustrated Y/n, crushes, jealousy

a/n - good GODS this has been in my inbox for a while and i’m so so so sorry for not posting it way sooner! hopefully you see this anon, and i hope you enjoy!

content below the cut!

you had developed a crush on the man in the mask ever since you first joined Yuri's little group

you couldn't really tell what it was the drew you to him

he was silent, dismissive, and he was a Mask for goodness sake!

but none of that deterred you from the attraction you garnered for him

you always found yourself trying to interact with him

whether it was offering your help with something that he was doing, or simply keeping him company

most times he brushed you off, walking away and not giving you an answer

other times he silently accepted your offer

those times the two of you would sit in comfortable silence, just enjoying one another's presence

you cherish moments like these for a very specific reason

Kuon

now you had nothing against the girl!

... at first

she seemed nice enough, always eager to help, and full of ignorant innocence

but then you realized her (very obvious) crush on the masked man

the way she got flustered around him so easily

the way she clung to him like a lost child

at first, you thought maybe she saw him as a parental figure, seeing how young she was

but that thought was (very) quickly thrown to the wind when you saw her wrapped up in his jacket, blushing like the schoolgirl she was and giggling to herself

so what she liked him? you liked him too, maybe the two of you could bond over that!

that's what you told yourself

of course, you never acted on it

it was simple, you were too jealous to do so

you noticed how Sniper Mask welcomed all her little instances without a care in the world

not giving a damn when she clung to him

or batting an eye at her obvious fangirling

it pissed you off

naturally, you began to avoid Kuon

and Sniper Mask simultaneously

you avoided the two of them whenever you could

when you saw them walking towards you, you kept to the opposite side of the wall and walked quickly past them

when you all usually ate together, you picked up your food and ate outside

you were simply, undeniably jealous

you didn't think Sniper Mask cared about it, not that you could tell under his mask

but in actuality, he was confused as to why you avoided him all of the sudden

so, he opted to ask you one day

You shut the door to the dining room rather aggressively as you exited, but you couldn't care less. You let your body slump against the adjacent wall, your plate of food resting on your lap.

Today had been... exhausting, to say the least. Kuon was on her usual actions of pining over 'Mr. Mask', crossing your way a few more times than you would have liked. During your meeting earlier with her and Yuri, your fellow mouthless masked allies, she had the gall to talk on and on about how much she adored him.

You hated it.

You looked down at your food, a scowl finding its place on your features. You glared at it, pushing the pieces around with your fork, not noticing a door open and close right in front of you.

"Jesus, if that food was alive, it would be 6 feet under with the glare you're giving it." You hear a gruff voice call from in front of you. A voice you would rather not be hearing right now.

You continue to move around the food, staying silent as the man awkwardly stands in front of you, unsure of what to do with himself in this situation. "Is it, uh, okay if I sit here?" He asks, which finally makes you look up.

He had a plate of food between his own hands, his jacket gone and sleeves rolled up to his elbows. His mask covered his face, per usual, but it seemed much more lopsided than usual.

You give him a shrug in response, looking back down at your food again. He stands there for a moment, before taking a seat right next to you, your knees almost touching. "You don't mind if I eat with you, right?"

His question makes your eye twitch. Was he seriously trying to be all buddy-buddy with you now? You shrugged again, not giving him as much as a single word.

You heard him sigh, setting his food to the side before he speaks again. "Alright, what's going on?" He asks, making your body tense up. "Nothing." You shoot back, scowling.

"What happened to the Y/n that stayed up and talked about their life for hours? What happened to the Y/n that told me horrible jokes to try and get a reaction out of me? Huh? What happened to them?"

That broke you.

You were angry, furious even. Was he trying to blame this on you? You didn't do anything wrong! If it wasn't for Kuon, maybe you would still be that person! If it wasn't for her, you could still be friends with him! You could be-

"What?" You hear him say softly, much softer than his previous tone. Shit, did you say that out loud? "Yeah, you did." He says again, looking at you with a concerned expression on his face, not that you could tell.

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to lash out. I just- I’ve been-" You stutter, trying to find the right words. He laughs at that, actually laughs at it.

His laugh is hearty, warm, almost inviting you to laugh along with him. You don't, but he quickly composes himself, making your head turn towards him.

"Why on Earth were you jealous of Kuon?" He asks honestly, watching at how the invisible gears turn in your head, searching for an answer. You sigh heavily, running a hand across your face as you shake your hands while you speak.

"I just- she’s always there with you. She's latched onto you 24/7! I can't get 5 minutes alone with you before she comes barging in." You rant, frustration evident in your shaky voice.

"I just wanted to be your friend, be close with you. I can never do that because she's-she's there." You groan, hugging yourself with your arms. "I sound like a selfish idiot now, huh?"

You laugh dryly, frowning. He sighs, but a smile plays at his lips. "Y/n." He begins, his hand resting you your forearm. "You know she would never purposefully do that. She just, she has an infatuation with me I guess."

He sighs dramatically, earning a chuckle from you. "But." He tells you, watching your eyes as he speaks. "That doesn't mean I didn't miss you."

Your heart skips a beat at his comment, face flushing softly. "Kuon also misses you. You might not have caught onto it, but she looks up to you." He explains, smiling at how your expression softens, mumbling a soft 'she does?' to him.

He nods, laughing once more. "Come on, have dinner with the rest of us. We can't have you sitting alone out here anymore." You roll your eyes, but take him up on his word. He leads you back to the other, Kuon frantically waving over to the two of you the second you pass through the door.

"Y/n! Come sit with me!" She yells excitedly. Maybe you were wrong about her.

after that interaction, the three of you were all on much better terms

yes, kuon still had her habits, but he toned them WAY down after you explained to her how it made you feel

she teased the hell out of you for it too

you, of course, shrugged it off

but you never told her that she was wrong

you were happy to be on good terms with Sniper Mask again

he made a lot more time for you

your old interactions coming back at full force, and some new ones

he loved to take you on little walks on the high rises

he also made it a point to teach you how to shoot his rifle

which was terrifying, but exhilarating

you fell for him harder and harder every day

one day, you ranted your feelings out to Kuon

and while she wasn't surprised, it warmed her heart to see how much you loved him

yes, she crushed on him too, but that didn't take away from the obvious connection she saw between the two of you

unbeknownst to you, Sniper Mask had come to her about the same things

his usually cold demeanor broke whenever he talked with you

he genuinely enjoyed your company, he wanted more of it

and then some

so, she put a plan together

operation "get Mr. Mask and Y/n together" is a go!

she took it all very seriously

making sure you guys get paired together for scouting missions? that's all her

convincing Sniper Mask to get you little gifts and things? of course

overall, the best wing-woman you could ask for

however, the one thing she didn't have anything to do with was his confession to you

he could have used her help with it, that much was clear

but he wanted to tell you how he felt, no help necessary

Sniper Mask had told you earlier this morning to meet you at his room when the sunset before he rushed to get out of your vicinity like you were a plague. Granted, it hurt your feelings, but you couldn't stand him up.

You knocked gently on the wooden door, stepping back and waiting patiently for it to open. After about a minute, while you had heard nothing, you went to knock again.

Your efforts were proved useless as the door swung open hastily, revealing a disheveled Sniper Mask. His usual blazer and fedora were long forgotten, his hair messy, strands pointing this way and that. His mask sat lopsided on his face, still covering it fully.

"H-hey Y/n." He mumbled out, you offered him a wave as he awkwardly shuffled to the side, opening the door as an incentive for you to come in. You stepped inside, walking to the center of the room as you heard him close the door behind you.

You turned to speak to him again, but those thoughts were cast aside as you felt his hands settle onto your cheeks and his lips molding with yours. It startled you, you're eyes open in shock as you looked at him. His mask was completely off, thrown somewhere in the room, but he didn't seem to have a care in the world.

You quickly melted into the kiss, bringing your hands up to gently hold onto his forearms. He hummed, taking a moment before pulling away, leaving the two of you to gasp for air as he rested his forehead against yours. You opened your eyes to meet his, full of adoration.

"I, uh, I think I'm in love with you?" It was more of a question, but you took it happily. You laughed softly, your fingers rubbing small circles in his forearms.

"Was that what that was?"

[yuppieresearch]

MARTA SOSA YOUTUBE CHANNEL

As I mentioned in the Videoclub Misterio post, there are other videos on Marta Sosa’s YouTube channel that cannot be found in-game. All of these videos are related to Yuppie Psycho in some way, so I find it appropriate to mention them here.

do_not_watch_01.avi

Due to the fact we are shown multiple screens which vary in subject, this video's visuals are a bit hard to explain. The most important part of it is the words that accompany each screen: "Brian, you have to come back. We found another tape and it’s not ours." The description of the video is in binary, and translates to “BRIAN HELP WRONG MEMORY LOST DUPLICATE”. 

This is the first teaser for the DLC released on this channel.

The Adventures of Mappy & Sosa (s01 e01)

This marks the first episode of Sosa’s series The Adventures of Mappy & Sosa. The premise is self-explanatory: the series follows the adventures of Mappy and Sosa. The first episode is rather short, and features Sosa becoming frightened by a coworker dressed as a witch for Halloween. Sosa hides behind Mappy, who defeats the witch with laser beams (which of course come from her eyes).

Notably, the witch coworker looks like Kate. This only strengthens the connection between Kate and the witch we see in-game and does not really add anything new. I do not think there is a “hidden meaning” here, either. This series is most likely on the channel to give more character to Sosa and Mappy, or just as silly little extras.

The Adventures of Mappy & Sosa (s01 e03)

Sosa says in the description of this video that she could not upload the second episode because it became corrupt for an unknown reason. Because of this, we are lacking a bit of context.

This episode begins with Mappy and Sosa in a backrooms-esque area, with Sosa relieved that a curse has been lifted. Sosa begins to speak to Mr. Devil (presumably telepathically) and tells her to go back to "the home", which Sosa assumes to mean her own home. After Sosa convinces Mappy to come with her, the duo take a trip to look for Sosa’s house. The following clips are real footage said to be taken by Mappy of a city and an abandoned location.

The Adventures of Mappy & Sosa (s01 e04)

This episode is said to be the season finale, and shows that Mappy and Sosa have somehow gotten separated on their search for Sosa’s home. While Sosa calls out for Mappy, Mappy has realized that the location they are in is not Sosa’s house, and that this entire thing was a trap laid out by Mr. Devil. Mr. Devil says the two will never find their way out of the haunted house they are now in, but Mappy’s years at Sintracorp have made her a "cop-out expert." Mappy quickly finds Sosa and leads her back to Sintracorp. The two agree that the safest place to be is at their job.

A scream can be heard after Sosa and Mappy say that they will never leave Sintracorp ever again. This might imply that this was made before the witch was dealt with, meaning that this desire to never leave Sintracorp is due to the witch’s influence.

Cancun Beach and Pool Fun

The description of this video states that this is supposed to be footage of Sosa and Mappy’s vacation at the beach, but Tiki-Taka (the security boss) has taken over the video without Sosa’s knowledge. He states that he has run out of hard drive space on his computer and was looking for files to delete when he found two folders he had never seen before—"4-5-22-9-12" (DEVIL) and "8-15-13-5" (HOME). Folder 8-15-13-5 is password protected, so he cannot share the contents of it just yet. The other folder, though, features an edited version of the devil’s rebirth cutscene. The video ends with Tiki-Taka begging for Brian to save him.

A robotic voice says this over the footage: "In imagine, or a sentinel, major-general! Is mysterious pledged. Which of lock clouds. Go anteroom, you maddening are boot." I have no idea what the words in the video mean or if they mean anything at all. I have tried to decipher them to no avail.

What is obvious is that this is a teaser for the Yuppie Psycho DLC.

Pelicans in the Beach

Once again, Sosa is under the impression that she is sharing footage from her and Mappy’s vacation only to be hijacked by Tiki-Taka. He states that he has been obsessed with the 8-15-13-5 folder and is convinced it is a breach in security. While off-screen, he has been trying different passwords only to one day find the password gone. Inside the folder, he finds six different files. Only the first three are shown before the video switches back to Sosa’s footage:

The first file shows multiple scenes from the DLC, some of which are edited to contain text such as "the job is not done" and "go back to your workplace". It ends by showing the release date of the DLC.

The second file is mixed with clips of the Sintra residence in-game and actual black-and-white footage of a similar home. A crying child can be heard in the background.

The third file shows a man wearing a suit and sunglasses in what appears to be a closet, mouthing something in typical Videoclub Misterio style. He is inaudible, but there is a distorted voiceover.

Afterlife Pharmaceuticals

This video is formatted like an advertisement for a pharmaceutical company, complete with a robotic voiceover highlighting the scientific advancements of the company. The link in the description of this video leads to the steam page for a future Baroque Decay game of the same title. It is safe to assume this is a teaser for the said game.

i excluded the very last video on the youtube channel titled “a game about us?” because it is very clear it is an advertisement and does not add anything new to the game. though, seeing the mr. devil plushie turn around in the mirror is still amusing.

[falllpoutboy]

I saw your post about King Valkyrie being unrealistic & fake feminist & I just wanna say I agree!! U verbalized it so well!! Val literally had a hard time taking care of HERSELF by the end of Ragnarok & was just pulling herself back together (understandable, she was traumatized still) & she needed that space to recover after everything she went through, & even though she definitely has experience in being a capable leader & warrior of the Valkyries, she has NO experience or training in ruling a whole kingdom all by herself. Thor, meanwhile, has been groomed to do that his whole life as Prince. It doesn't make sense that Thor would just leave everything to her like that. & it doesn't make sense that Val just let Thor waste away by himself after being traumatized after the snap like.... that was HER!! She went through that and he helped her! She would've done the same!! Their writing & characterization was just butchered in the last two movies & feels more like bad fanfiction & its lazy attempt at being feminist rather than who they developed from in Ragnarok. Sorry for ranting but I'm so glad to see someone felt the same way+

god you’re so right and you just pinpointed one of the many reasons why i hated what Endgame did to both of their characters (and infinity war to a lesser extent). Valkyrie, while a mess, cares about people and her friends and Thor being one of them, she would’ve helped him not be lead down the path of alcoholism and destructive behavior the same way she did. I hate that the time skip justibecause it ignored all of their development in Ragnarok bc in her very first scene, she just shrugs off his alcoholism as if she’s used to it and doesnt even care. In writing her this way, they not only made Brunnhilde look like she’s careless of her friends but also erases any burgeoning romantic and sexual feelings Brunnhilde had for Thor in Ragnarok that she was strongly implied for having.

I’ve made my stance on King Valkyrie very clear. Hated it then, hate it now. I think some fans don’t seem to realize that just because Brunnhilde was somewhat shown to be a functioning member of New Asgard in her 30 second opening scene in Endgame’s first act and isn’t a sloppy drunk anymore, doesn’t mean that Brunnhilde is now all of a sudden equipped to be a ruler of a recovering population she only just rejoined 5 years prior. Her militia experience as leader of the Valkyrior shouldn’t and frankly can’t translate well into being King of New Asgard. It also speaks to the Russo bros and Markus & Mcfeely thrusting the role of King onto a black woman character because the narrative named her capable just because. And finally, I hate the King title for her because it is a masculine title and I’m going to rip Taika Waititi to shreds for contributing to the masculinization of black women, as if we aren't masculinized enough by society already 🙄 Hela conquered Asgard in Ragnarok and was referred to as a queen but that same luxury can’t be afforded to Brunnhilde oh okay 😐

Queen Consort Brunnhilde, wife to Thor and leader of the Valkyrior 2.0 >>>>> King Valkyrie, girlfriend to Carol Danvers. ANY FUCKING DAY!!

EDIT 07/10: i still hate valcarol but its not canon yet 🫶🏾