#i read the wikipedia page

[disconnected-dragon]

"Alright people let's set some things straight.

"My name is Miguel O'Hara. I was not bitten by a radioactive spider, and for the past ten or so years I have been Nueva York's one and only --Spider-Man. How it happened is a bit of a long story, my dad liked to throw stuff, I got a job at Alchemax, threw stuff there, blah blah blah, long story short, the head scientist, Dr "Olivia Octoavius" got hired by this huge guy in a suit to "make some Schpida-people" to sell to the US government as super-soldiers. I said I quit, Olivia said ok, but not before spiking my drink with super-cocaine. She then told me "ok Miguel, either you work for us or you go onto the streets." I told her to "suck my dingle-berries Liv" and threw myself into the Spider-Machine. Did I mention I was seventeen years old at this point I feel like I should mention that. It edited my DNA to be abt 50 percent man and 50 percent spider. So instead of Spider-Sense and sticky fingers, it gave me talons, fangs, and paralyzing venom. Hey don't give me that look, at least I'm not Man-Spider.

"A lot of the stuff that followed was standard Spider-Man stuff, got hit by a drone, got choke-slammed by Venom, disappointed my mother, tried to run a Spider-themed speakeasy which you should not do under any circumstances, so I'm just gonna tell LYLA to fast-forward to-- ehhh here. Where I choke-slammed a teenager into a moving train. Really-- not my proudest moment. I was in the wrong here, my bad Miles, I lost my temper. I'm gonna write an apology as soon as the multiverse gets back on track. Here's an e-card LYLA made in the meantime. But, look, you have to get here-- I have one morse confidential thing to say. Which involves the multiverse.

"You probably noticed in my origin story that I'm not a typical Spider-Man. I don't have the canon events. I wasn't even bitten by the spider. And you're probably saying "Miguel, you're a hypocrite, why do you enforce the rules so much on me and my annoying friends? You didn't even have a dad event!' Which, you're right, I don't. The second my dad was gone I threw a party over his dead still-warm corpse but we don't have to go into that now, I don't have daddy issues. (Shut up LYLA) The point is, I know that I'm an anomaly. That's the other reason I do this.

"There can only be one anomaly in the universe at one time. LYLA ran the calculations and they're flawless. I know. I programmed her myself. And because there can only be one anomaly without complete and utter collapse. My existence puts the multiverse in danger, and I know that. I learned that when my daughter dissolved in front of me. So I dedicated my life to keeping the multiverse on track, on time, and tightly running with no deviation. It's lonely, but it's what I have to do. It's what I have to do to make up for existing at all.

"So without me, the entire Arachno-Poly-Humanoid-Multiverse would fall into complete and utter oblivion. There's only one anomaly in this web. And you're looking at him."

____________

a/n: you ever get really pissed off abt some mad miguel takes on twitter so you write a speculative thing abt his backtsory in btsv? lmao couldnt be me.

do note i havent read his comics, only the wikipedia page for his comics, and i edited out some of that information that didn't seem to fit with his astv character. so please don't think im truying to make miguel look better or anything i just *think* this is the direction they'll go with for his backstory if they decide to do it. I *think*. don't hold me to it.

Also, cross posted to AO3 if anyone wants to look:

[god-offical]

Man. Fuck PETA

[quatregats]

This quote is so funny but also like that is literally the most efficient summary of the difference between these books sdhfjhds

[queeringclassiclit]

Enjolras & Grantaire

from Les Misérables by Victor Hugo

[rabbitprayer]

Reliquary containing a tooth, reputedly that of Saint Apollonia, in the Cathedral of Porto, Portugal.

[rabbitrah]

I have a soft spot in my heart for food/drink that's stereotyped as being disgusting to people from outside the country/culture where it's traditionally consumed. I've recently grown to really enjoy vegemite and kimchi despite being told that I'd probably hate it since I didn't grow up with it. Recently I realized that the best US example is probably root beer. Anyway, as much as it's good fun to sometimes be like "ew gross!!!" about something enjoyed by other people, a lot of these foods have really interesting histories, ingredients, and even medical uses. Whether you like them or not, these foods have stories to tell. What's a food in your country/culture that's stereotyped as "gross" by outsiders? Because I want to give it a try 📝👀

[muirneach]

'Sulphur' and 'Selenium' by Mary Soon Lee

Sulphur #16 sits atop Selenium #34 in the periodic table. Selenium is rarely found in nature without Sulphur nearby.

for the periodic haiku series by @simmyfrobby

[sickfreaksirkay]

mordred moodboard for his birthday

[heartofmorioh]

-> Welcome to Nightvale moodboard <- -> requested by @crypt1d-t0ast <-

[1796samuel-seabury1729]

I FFUCKING LOVE WIKIPEDIA ITS SOSOSSO MUCH FUN AHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I LOVE IR I LOVE IT I LOVE IT

[waytoocrispybread]

toxic yaoi

[yellow-yarrow]

real inframaterialist hours !! who up reading incomprehensible texts!

Man is the mirror of the world or whatever the fuck Mazov said

[sacchiri]

Hellsing 2002 calendar illustration.

Ein wunderliche und erschröckliche Hystori von einem großen Wüttrich genant Dracole wayda Der do so ganz unkristenliche marrter hat angelegt die mensche, als mit spissen als auch die leut zu Tod geslyffen

A wondrous and frightening story about a great berserk called Dracula the voivode who inflicted such unchristian tortures such as with stakes and also dragged people to death

[dogboots]

boyfriend full of facts

[busaikuknee]

posted upon request: he's figuring it out

[mediumgayitalian]

i had to google properties and side effects of children’s benadryl for the baby will fic and i have not seen rest since

they will NOT STOP ADVERTISING TO ME