#i read all sorts okay
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library is begging me to please, please return my overdue books but i know full well no one else in this city is hungry to read any six-hundred page doorstop about the opiod epidemic nor also Cranford, so i'm not in a goddamn hurry, alright
#empire of pain#elizabeth gaskell#i'm also rereading Fourth Wing and just started Fang Fiction#i read all sorts okay
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“He was— He was my ‘buttercup’,” she sobbed out, and his hand gripped her far shoulder, “And I— I never even— I never got to tell him how much he m-meant to me— not even th-the stupid sun thing—”
“Oh… Marinette…” he whispered, his nose brushing against her hair, “The sun thing wasn’t stupid.”
this scene from chapter 6 of drowning (in plain sight) by @buggachat has PLAGUED me since i read it i am deeply unwell
#my art#ml#ml fic rec#miraculous ladybug#ladynoir#ladybug#chat noir#is it monday yet. is it monday yet.#ugh this fic makes me SICK#it hurts so much i’m sooo unwell#buggachat just. creates scenarios which wrench all my guts in such a specific way#thank you for your service queen. i’m doing so bad#would really really really like for things to get better soon#or keep making them suffer. i will absolutely be reading either way#also i colored this in sort of a different way than usual and it was fun#okay goodnight.
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um ☝️ special delivery today!
#psychonauts#boyd cooper#the milkman#nightmaretheater#i literally dont care if hes a meme now he deserves more#hes genuinely. Oh my god. So intruiging.#i keep thinking abt him… chew#+ he always reads as this sort of. deranged joyous figure#also i like drawing the sparkles okay#the milkman conspiracy as a whole is genuinely so amazing no wonder its a big favourite among so many people#ohhhhh shit i forgot some sparkles on the hat. Uh. auhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh 😓😓😓😓😓😓 ignore that#tooo late ive already done all the silly rffects
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ngl being a kid was so hard for me bc I had such big feelings all the time and didn’t know what to do about it
#all I wanted to do was grow up because I was convinced I’d finally be able to deal with them#and like yeah sort of#but I remember reading my journal from when I was 9 a few years ago and being like damn kid nothing was ever light with u was it 😬#like one page I was absolutely lamenting about this girl gabby who didn’t like me and I wanted to be her friend so bad#then the next page was me like I wonder if wobbles which was our class salamander ever feels alone like me#like okay!!!!
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"Murder is Werewolves" - Batman
I don't got the SPOONS to do this thought train justice, I have seriously been trying to write this thing for MONTHS so just, idk, have this half baked skeletal outline of the essay I guess:
I don't believe that Batman's no-kill rule is primarily about rehabilitation or second chances.
His refusal to believe that Cassandra could have killed someone when she was eight years old because "how could a killer understand my commitment not to kill" is absolute fucking MOON LOGIC from a rehabilitationist standpoint. No jury on the planet would think for even a second that she could reasonably be held accountable for her actions in that situation! Her past cannot condemn her to being incapable of valuing human life under a rehabilitation centering framework. However, Batman's reasoning makes perfect sense if he believes that killing is a spiritually/morally corrupting act which permanently and fundamentally changes a person, and that corruption can never be fully undone.
Dick Grayson killing the Joker is treated both narratively and by Batman as an unequivocally WIN for the Joker. The Joker won by turning Nightwing into a killer. Note that this is during a comic in which the Joker transforming people was a major theme! Batman didn't revive the Joker because the Joker deserved to live; he revived the Joker to lift the burden on Dick.
His appeal to Stephanie when she tried to kill her dad is that she shouldn't ruin her own life. He gives no defense of Cluemaster's actual life. Granted this is a rhetorical strategy moment and should be taken with a generous pinch of salt, but it fits in the pattern.
When Jason becomes a willful killer, he essentially disowns him, never treats him with full trust ever again, and... Well, we can stop here for Bruce's sake. Bottom line is that his actions towards Jason do not lead me to believe that he thinks Jason can become a better person without having his autonomy taken from him, either partially or fully.
The Joker is, for better or worse, the ultimate symbol and vessel of pure, irredeemable evil in DC comics now. He hasn't been just another crook in a long time. He will never get better, he will only get worse. If you take it to be true that the Joker will not or can not rehabilitate, then there's no rehabilitationist argument against killing him.
Batman does not seem to consider it a possibly that he'll rehabilitate. Batman at several points seems to think that the Joker dying in a manner no one could have prevented would be good. Yet Batman fully believes that if he killed the Joker, he himself would become irredeemable.
Batman's own form of justice (putting people into the hospital and then prison) is fucking brutal and clearly not rehabilitative. He disrespects the most basic human rights of all criminals on a regular basis. It is genuinely really, really weird from a rehabilitationist standpoint that his only uncrossable line is killing... But it makes perfect sense if he cares more about not corrupting himself with the act of killing than the actual ethical results of any individual decision to kill or not kill.
In the real world cops are all bastards because they are too violent to criminals, even when that violence doesn't lead to death. Prison is a wildly evil thing to do to another human being, and you don't use it to steal away massive portions of a person's life if your goal is to rehabilitate them. In the comic world, Batman is said to be necessary because the corrupt cops are too nice to criminals and keep letting them out of jail. I don't know how to write a connector sentence there so like I hope you can see why this bothers me so damn much! That's just not forgiveness vibes there Batman!!
I want to make special note here of the transformative aspect. You don't simply commit a single act when you kill, no, you become a killer, like you might become a werewolf.
The narrative supports this a lot!
Why did Supes go evil during Injustice? He killed the Joker. Why did Bruce become the Batman Who Laughs? Bruce killed the Joker. Why was Jason Todd close to becoming a new Joker during Three Jokers? Because he killed people, to include the Joker.
Even if these notions of redemption being impossible aren't the whole of his reasoning (people never have only one reason for doing what they do) it is a distinct through-line pattern in his actions and reasoning, and it is directly at odds with notions of rehabilitation, redemption, and second chances.
So why does he give so many killers second chances?
Firstly because this doesn't apply to all versions of Batman. Some writers explicitly incorporate rehabilitation and forgiveness into his actions. You will be able to provide me with examples of this other through-line pattern if you go looking for them. The nature of comics is to be inconsistent.
Secondly the existence of that other pattern does not negate the existence of this one. People and characters are complex, and perfectly capable of holding two patterns of belief within themselves, even when they conflict to this degree. You can absolutely synthesize these two ideas into a single messy Batman philosophical vibescape.
Finally and most importantly to this essay: he has mercy on killers the same way that werewolf hunters sometimes have mercy on someone who is clearly struggling against their monsterous nature, especially if they were turned in exceptional circumstances or against their will. They understand that they are sick, damned beasts, cursed to always be fighting against themselves and the evil they harbor within. It is vitally kind to help them fight themselves by curtailing their autonomy in helpful ways and providing them with chances to do some good to make up for their eternal moral deficiency.
I think in many comics Batman views killers as lost souls. Battered and tormented monsters who must be pitied and given mercy wherever possible. (The connections to mental health, addiction, and rampant, horrifying ableism towards people struggling with both is unavoidable, but addressing it is sadly outside of the scope of this essay.)
Above all, the greatest care possible must be taken to never, ever let yourself become one of them, because once you have transformed the beast will forever be within you growing stronger.
To Batman, it is the most noble burden, the highest mercy, the most important commandment: Thou shalt suffer the monsters to live.
#batman#batman negative#batsalt#okay hopefully that will let peeps who don't wanna see me rant against bats avoid this?#i could write several books on the moral and ethical philosophies at play in the Batfam tbh#I'm like kinda mostly happy with this#pretty good for being slammed out in three hours while baking brownies#inspired muchly by my friend's talk about Batman acting in accordance with Presbyterian predestination#and how he is one of the most carceral of all superheroes#all people merely revealing through their actions what sort of person they already are#punishing them in the hopes they can suffer enough penance on earth to escape hell#how that can look like rehabilitation or redemption at a glance#but functions in a fundamentally different way#anyway hope this mess was an interesting read!#damian's tomfoolery
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Granted I never finished my little pony or even got to cozy glow at all but I see people complain about how she "didnt deserve her fate" bc she was "literally a child" and I feel like its missing how the target audience are also children. Like a 9 year old isnt gonna see cozy glow as "a small baby child who was never given room to redeem herself, she shouldn't have been turned to stone like the other villains" they're gonna see her as "just like that mean girl in school who always picks on me and never gets in trouble for it because the teachers like her, I'm GLAD she got turned to stone! FUCK tiffany!"
#text#in general for childrwns shows or books or what have you#you shouldnt use the 'omg theyre only children...' excuse unless it is actually used in the text#bc the target demo isnt gonna think 'theyre only children' theyre gonna think 'theyre just like me!'#its like whenever there are child protagonists saving the world and adult fans say 'omg theyre child soldiers...'#like its okay if thats what you get from an adult reading but i think you should acknowledge how its SUPPOSED to be for the kid target demo#who will see it and think 'wow that girl is my age (or a couple years older) and doing all sorts of exciting things!'#and then they hope they get to go on an adventure some day#tldr. theres nothing wrong with engaging with art for a younger age range from the pov of an adult#but i think we can ALL get a bit too ahead of ourselves sometimes and forget that it was written for children#and the big bad is supposed to be equivalent to a childs school bully or maybe a slightly grouchy grandma
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s2 episode 7 thoughts
hmm. hmm. that is the sound if me pondering what i just watched.
(i understand that this episode was an analysis into mulder's self-destructive behaviors when faced with overwhelming grief, but. that does not mean i enjoyed vampire hookup time)
well. we shall start from the top!
i read that it was an episode about vampires which i thought was a weird narrative choice because. hello. scully still gone??? but then i remembered that i too ignored the main quest in skyrim to hunt some vampires and that i had no place to judge
(granted, my main quest wasn't finding scully though. might have given that a bit more priority than saving the whole world. because she IS my whole world)
we open with a guy that looks like joe biden meeting with an attractive young woman. they're making out in a hot tub and we just know someone is gonna get slurped upon. and woe, it be upon us! double vampire attack.
back in DC, mulder gets his old office back! it's covered in plastic. he takes some of it off. he adjusts his calendar from may to november, so we see how much time he and scully had been assigned to other tasks, which also has me wondering how she managed to get a new house that quick.
(also, this calendar is... scantily clad women posing next to tools such as hammers and saws. was this allowed? was this acceptable? was it normal? were the 90's a lawless wasteland and mulder an irreparable freak?)
well. scully is an x file now, and he puts her glasses and id into an evidence bag and closes the filing cabinet which was sooooo evil. but he can't bring himself to put her necklace away. oh man. oh he's gotta have it in case he finds her. he has to hold her close. i'm Fine this is Fine.
so. he goes out to california to deal with the joe biden looking fellow being murdered. and he is not wanted on the crime scene. we know this because someone greets him by saying "nobody called the bureau" and he says "well, they should have" and lifts up the tape to let himself in. because one thing about him is that he's gonna let himself into a place he isn't wanted.
he sees the writing of a bible verse in blood on the wall and says something about their grasp of biblical knowledge being "feeble and literal" and i was like okayyy need to have a theological discussion with him
he then scares the other guy who originally wanted to kick him out by reciting a LARGE amount of facts related to similar cases and it's very much giving photographic memory. got me thinking, have we ever seen this man forget something? (directions don't count. they're confusing. but everything else sticks in that man's brain)
he just needs one thing: a phone book. which he uses to call a blood bank and ask about a new guy. who must be the vampire who did this!
so he rolls up to the blood bank and i'm over here struggling because i do Not Do Blood, and i knew at this point this was gonna be a tough watch, but i didn't anticipate the non-blood related reasons why this would be true
anyway he's sniffing around the blood bank and he hears some slurping and wouldn't you know, this dude is tearing into a bag of the red stuff like it's a capri sun. somehow he gets him into custody, where the dude refuses to talk because the lights are on, and mulder comes in with a lamp he put a red filter over, because he was prepared for vampire interrogation.
the vampire is going on about how what he did isn't murder because it's not like animals hunting prey is murder which is. not the greatest approach in terms of legal defense. mulder tells the guard that the guy is delusional and it's best to play along, and he believed this to be true... until he, quite literally, burned to a crisp in the sunlight. and died.
he's talking to the coroner and rattling off a bunch of vampire facts and says he didn't believe in vampires which is so funny to me because like. why is that where you draw the line, my friend. not at bigfoot and definitely not at aliens. but man. vampires are just too out there for spooky mulder. until now!
the coroner has a very funny line: "you are really upsetting me... on several levels" which seems to be the general effect fox mulder has on people. and also because i felt the same way about his dumbass actions during this episode.
coroner finds a stamp on the dead body's hand, which seems to come from a nightclub. so naturally our fbi agent ends up there.
you often see posts saying that "(insert character here) should be at the club". i fear that this is not the case for fox mulder, but it's possible that it's his suit and tie that are throwing me off. he just doesn't seem like he belongs there. i ask myself, where should he be instead? perhaps some sort of star wars convention would suit him better. a book signing with some author he likes. idk, an interior decorating festival. not here.
i shall use my verbatim words to walk you through the next scene:
"pause. he's talking to a woman who was looking into a compact without a mirror. so. vampire suspect. and now why are they getting so close together. and getting a drink. okay now they're leaving to a new spot together? AFTER she admits to vampirism"
(here she did some stuff that required me to look away from my screen due to my Weak Constitution. but also it would have felt necessary to look away anyway because it was getting... charged)
she tries to get him to... suck on her finger... but he won't do it because aids. which is fair. i think that's a smart move, actually. it's just that getting flirty with a vampire he knows was involved with a ton of killings was such a stupid move, i don't know why it's now the braincells start to kick in.
that kills the vibe, though, so she gets another guy to take his place and things escalate.
mulder pulls in at a restaurant called ra. nice! the sun god! and he is... through a window, witnessing some more slurping action. he seems to want to intervene and save this poor soul being feasted upon...
but the poor soul is no poor soul at all! he comes out and decks mulder, and delivers this line with stunning conviction: "i don't know who you are, freak, but we're two consenting adults" and with this, he is forced to flee.
and yeah. it made me laugh. my expectations for the genre were subverted. he signed up for that shit! what he did not sign up for, however, was the next part, where he was killed by the other vampires.
cut to investigating the crime scene. mulder has brought along a forensic dentist, which is a job i had no idea you could go into. he needs to see about those bites, which are very human.
next they go to vampire woman's house. it's a very nice place. mulder... opens her oven. and sees a loaf of bread in there. and i'm thinking, man, i hope this doesn't go where i think it's going. baked goods... ovens... i never want a vampire pregnancy arc. but he cracks open the loaf and something red spills out and somehow, this to him means that she is gone and isn't coming back. he can read the signs of the bread. so add that to his resume. what did the bread tell you, my liege?
he seems to have stayed in her house, however, because he's there when she's back, and says he knows she was using the bread as a charm to ward off evil. because apparently that's an eastern european thing, blood bread to warn off evil. sound off if any eastern europeans in the chat wanna confirm or deny.
anyway. he's IN this woman he thinks is a vampire's HOUSE? what the hell. mulder seriously i need you to stop and think. like you should have stopped and done some thinking a while ago. honestly i'm not mad i'm just disappointed. and he's like "i want to save you come with me before they kill you" ohhh big tough man needs to save her huh. make him feel good inside. huh. certainly no ulterior motive here...
she's monologing about her horrible childhood and how sweet blood tastes. um girl. don't lie to him like that. i have busted my lip open before that stuff does NOT taste sweet and dangerous. it's like a penny with rust that you found in a parking lot.
it seems her vampiric origin story, if to be believed, is that things simply got too kinky. which is a new take on the genre.
(it's also about being caught in an abusive relationship and the damage that inflicts, but it seems abusive boyfriend came into vampirism at his kinky parties and things escalated from there. which. well. it blew the eyebrows clean off my head, to be fair)
at this point we see that he is WEARING SCULLY'S NECKLACE? he says something like "it's from someone i lost" and she says that she "hopes he finds her"
i did not like the undertones here and certainly not the overtones. because i knew where this was going. he was shaving in her bathroom. and let me tell you something: there is only ever a shaving scene in media because the writer needs a way to get some blood out of someone's body and into the real world. and man. i knew it was coming.
but what i didn't see coming was her SHAVING HIM??? girl. i am uncomfy. and she does, of course, cut him, and then they kiss. aggressively. terribly aggressively. can anyone answer what was going on in a satisfactory manner?
but the gag is: the original vampire- who burnt to a crisp in the jail cell, and was the abusive ex she spoke of- HE'S WATCHING THEM THROUGH THE WINDOW!
he breaks in and taunts the vampire woman about how he had to "wait for her to finish" and i was like cool. thank you SO much for that mental image i'm super happy with it. i definitely don't feel like i need a shower. but then he's going on about how he can't be killed.
here, at the tail end of the episode, we learn the rules of vampirism in this world: a vampire cannot be killed by a non-vampire. and a non-vampire BECOMES a vampire by consuming the blood of a believer and also taking a life. it is only here we realize that this woman is not an actual vampire yet, she just appropriates their culture by drinking blood unnecessarily.
mulder's still sleeping in her bed and she's like "you need to leave" and she stabs the wall to make her evil ex think she's killing him. but when they go to break out, mulder ties him up quite handily and he gets in the car to escape with vampire woman. until ANOTHER vampire woman jumps on the hood of their car. and main vampire woman knocks her out for a bit by running into her with said car, which is super effective.
mulder's leaving the place in shambles, his shirt still unbuttoned, wandering down the side of the hill. back at the house, now that we know the vampire rules, main vampire woman says she can finally kill the evil vampire ex. and he's like how!! you haven't had the blood of a believer or taken a life. so. she licks the blood off her hands (unclear if it's hers or mulders tbh) and says she'll take her own life. and drops a match after pouring gasoline.
so. that brings that to an end. and shabby looking mulder sits on a hill as he learns all four in the house died.
the episode ends with him playing with scully's necklace. which i don't even sort of feel like unpacking right now but maybe another time.
probably not, though, because i just didn't like this episode. and yeah, a lot of it comes down to me not wanting to see mulder hook up with people who aren't scully. can you blame me? is it so wrong to have preferences in this world?
but also, narrative wise- do you honestly see the guy fucking off to cali while scully's still missing to deal with an unrelated problem instead of devoting every hour of his life to finding her, like we saw him do in the last episode? you expect me to think he just puts it off for a lil while? the guy who, just last episode, pulled his gun on the ski lift operator to get to the top where she might be a little faster, and then choked his one and only suspect out of fury? you're thinking this is the guy that's gonna go soak up some west coast rays?
and yeah, he was obviously not himself through the episode- very cold and analytical- but c'mon. we all want to bang a vampire. he's not special. i just personally wouldn't do that if my friend were gone. like how is that gonna help the situation. be so for real. time and place!
and also the whole only learning the rules of being a vampire about 5 minutes before they need it to be plot relevant. that annoyed me too.
overall, mulder, like i said, i'm not mad, just disappointed.
let me know what you thought on this episode- i try to not be a hater, but i also understand that hating in small doses can be good for the soul. if it's a widely beloathed episode i'll feel better in my judgement as i join a long tradition of haters who have come before me.
#i think i shall choose to ignore this episode going forward#sometimes he is so violently a Man it's shocking.#like the sexy tool calendar? i cannot keep defending him. throwing tomatoes as we speak. they're splattering his shirt.#man if i was missing and i learned my friend hooked up with a vampire to distract from the sorrow i'd be pissed as hell#i'd be all#and how did that help the situation. did it lead you to find me. why weren't you LOOKING for me.#is this vampire more important to you? is she gonna take my place? answer your 3 am calls and stand up for you against workplace bullying?#and you WORE my NECKLACE? the one my MOTHER GAVE ME? as a birthday present when i was 15? when you FUCKED HER?#THE HOLY CROSS MY CATHOLIC MOM GAVE ME? you wore it while i was MIA? inside a VAMPIRE?#oh i would never let that GO! if i were scully i would simply never let him live that down. it would be awkward asf between us for a bit#sighs. maybe i'm too petty. maybe i hold a grudge too deeply. all things that have been said about me before!#scully baby if ur reading this i would NEVER engage in any sort of recreational activity until i found u again okay? don't settle for less#juni's x files liveblog#txf#the x files
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on being 30.
my birthday is this weekend and i don't really know how much free time i'll have to spend on here, so i did want to poke on here and at least say something - thank you for another year together, whether we've just met or have known each other for ages, i genuinely appreciate being able to spend another year on this website with so many great folks, sincerely - i appreciate every dm, every image, it doesn't go unnoticed or unappreciated.
i've sort of touched on before on how 2024 has been a sort of a slump for a year for me - i've always sort of battled with self doubt and self loathing and just for some reason this year, it seems to just keep coming back and i hate that i actually doubt and question myself - if there's still a place for me here and when i get in my own head like this i really isolate myself and try to just deal with it in private because i don't like being a downer so if you have noticed me not exactly being the most responsive or talkative lately, that’s why - i’m not angry with anyone, i’m not trying to be cold with anyone - going back into my shell is just what I do and how I cope, it always has been, i don't even like writing this. and to make this clear, this is a me problem - not an anyone else problem, period - this isn't a vague or to point fingers, the issue is with me.
i think what sort of prompted this was seeing a lot of people open up about their own feelings and insecurities and I get the sense that 2024 hasn’t exactly been a great year for a lot of people either and my mindset has always been so long as it's not being passive aggressive or directing the blame at others, i honestly think it's good to have an outlet to just say how you're feeling once in a while - how else will people know what you're struggling with? of course what they choose to divulge is up to them and no one has to divulge if they don't want to, we're all just here for rp and for fun but i think sort of seeing others also struggling with having a crappy year and seeming to be in similar slumps was what really prompted me to write this. i hope it's just down to 2024 being a cursed year or something, lol.
like i said, i do genuinely appreciate all of you - i think more than anything else, more than rp or writing, the people are what keeps me coming back to tumblr - getting to write with and meet so many different writers from across the world (and possibly even talk with some of them and hang out with them??) is honestly a privilege and honour and even if i may not respond right away, please just know i appreciate every interaction, every message, every person. thank you all for being a part of my tumblr experience for another year and for already getting this birthday off to a lovely start. take care of yourselves.
#i'll leave this under a read more#so people can scroll past it if they want to#i hope i articulated myself okay#and i hope you all look after yourselves and be good to yourselves#love you all and hope to be on later.#and I really did try and stress in the post#I’ve always personally been apprehensive about negative/venting posts because it’s very easy for them to come off as passive aggressive#or like they’re blaming others even if they don’t mean to#and I tried to avoid doing that#it’s just been a rough go of it mentally for me and any issues are with me#I just saw a lot of others open up about 2024 being a sort of crummy year for them mentally#and these are my two cents.
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wanted to say I appreciate your nuanced takes on MW and especially Curly. i don't get the claim that the fandom is full of Curly apologists when majority (esp yt and tiktok) say he's worse than Jimmy. Yes there's commentary about bro culture defending people, he def messed up in trying to placate Jimmy (tbh "we'll fix this" sounded more like trying to keep someone prone to outbursts like Jim calm and not hurt Anya/himself) but I don't think he did nothing to help Anya, since she continued to confide in him and he had less than a week to resolve it before the crash (I also don't get everyone saying he knew for ages when it seems like Anya told him that same week). I get Jimmy's a pos but saying stuff like Curly should've known he'd crash the ship or that Jim had a criminal record he ignored, reducing them to obviously horrible villain and willfully ignorant sidekick feels like a disservice to the game. If your best friend turned out to be horrible, what would you do in a confined space in the span of a few days to respond? I'd say some of the horror comes from trying to do good but ultimately failing, Curly's state after the crash is meant to be tragic horror not revenge/punishment
Thank you and this is what I want to get across.
A lot of information we have to supplement when it comes to how long things have been happening on this current ship. I think people try to add on to the horror and negligence by making things more obvious so it can feel like it was easier to avoid when, true to life, its not. Jimmy clearly didn't deserve or appreciate what Curly did for him in getting him the job, but do you think if Jimmy was that big of a menace on Earth he would've given him a position where he could have that level of power over people's lives? There's something in the fact he specifically chose to pick a position so close to himself where he could watch Jimmy.
I hate the bro code argument because that is a whole can of worms people really don't get. That sort of mentality is born from the general respect and preference of male matter over female ones. Curly is clearly not that guy, he is absent minded about the issue and inadvertently dismissive but he clearly believes Anya, he just can't understand what she's going through. It's an onslaught of information that no one really reacts right to. Additonally, the entire discussion of her assualt plays to heavy into the idea that there is fault outside of the perpertratior when it comes to SA. It's too close if she only did this or if Curly had protected her better but the fact of the matter is Jimmy did what he did. He did it before any of the conversations with Anya about it and it's why her behavior seemed to change so drastically in those last two days.
He has other conflicting thought and while his role as a Captain should've taken over, people act like it's not a very human thing to have such a toxic presence cloud your judgement. It is never easy to separate friend from coworker once that connection is formed, you want to help them, especially if they were friend first and for a long while like in this case. It's not right, but people act like it would be easy when the game clearly points out that no choice is easy to make, especially when you have to make it for more than one person. You have the weigh the consequences, look at all the options and make a plan. People can headcanon and decide how long things where happening, but if we look at what we were presented through the characters eyes, the only person given time to do that was Jimmy.
He waited two months after the crash to appoint himself Captain. Every time a problem was brought up he immediately took action and refused to sit on it and find a better solution. I think it's important to look at the warped way Jimmy takes initiative where Curly didn't as it works as a good contrast of why you don't just run in to "fix" things. The quickest and easiest option may not be the safest or most beneficial. I think some thoughts on the game suffer from the black and white thinking the game doesn't operate on along with us being voyeurs. We see what exactly led to what but the characters don't. They don't have the hindsight and foresight we do and even ours is scrambled by the non-linear story telling.
Like it's hard to talk abuou those grey zones without sounding like an apologist because you're explaining why taking responsibility isn't easy. It's not and it's weird to act like it would be in a scenerio that led up to the events of the game knowing what we know. We see all these characters in such isolated moments with various things before, in between, after and even during we aren't privy too. The idea that Jimmy is worse than Curly heavily banks on the words Jimmy was saying to Jimmy before he crashed the ship. That whatever happened on the ship was his responsibility to bare, which is true due to his position. But, are they not still not responsible for taking the actions Curly then must bare?
Like i feel like people think that these are situation that become easier with age or when you are in a postion of authority and they aren't. You don't lose your biases or gain some sudden knowledge that makes it easier. It just becomes more tiring as you keep dealing with it. I would be first in line to say Curly fucked up and should've done more but the idea he knew how bad it could get or he really saw the worst in the people around him and ignored it pretty much ignores a huge aspect of his character and the game.
#i do believe Anya was a victum to Jimmy more than once before the crash but the game plays wit the sort of fear of waiting and stagnation#i believe the reason she decided to tell him was becasuse she finally broke down and tested to see if she was pregnant after one too many#signs and its why she went to hide the gun because she knew now that there was proof of what Jimmy did and was he would do anything to#cover it up and while she also didn't want the baby there was no sure fire way to safely induce a miscarriage or abortion cause shes smart#enough to know that hence her reading the illusion of choice and taking measures to protect herself#but in the hypothetical it was a one time occurence I think Jimmy would act like one single mistake shouldn't define him and Anya thinks#that if she did something sooner or said something sooner than she or Curly could've stopped all of it but that the hard thing taking actio#its so hard to be preventative to a person like they also have the autonomy to do things and no one on the ship is okay with actively takin#that away outside of Jimmy that its just a delicate issue and people act like it was a conscious choice not to help when he just helped#wrong he did wrong by not immediately punishing Jimmy but at the same time did he even fully get it yet? Jimmy immediately got into his hea#after like the sound design right before he confront him is telling like every track sort of gives you the feeling of the characters where#we cant see their thoughts because again the only two characters pov we get are Jimmy's and Curly's and even then we only get Curly's thru#the responsibilites he has to take like he is always tasked with something because thats his role but we rarely see him do something off hi#own volition cause hes a metaphorical cog in many of the machines the games comments on but he's not actively pulling a switch#also i think people latch on to the we can both be heros things too much when analyzing Curly because Curly very much is not happy being th#leader and current “hero” of the Tulpar he just wants out in a way that doesn't hurt and while he is still responsible for not doing more#the idea he could've easily nipped this in the butt acts like Jimmy was not a beast of his own and that he made Jimmy into the person he wa#vs the fact that Jimmy is a person on his own right that makes these choices others are forced to take responsibility for when he simply c#couldve not done evil shit like at the end of the day Curly is not perfect but not nearly or remotely as bad as Jimmy because for that hed#have to not care hed have to not have tried hed have to not try to take responsibility and he did just not in the right way but thats#subjective to the person and you can only realize you did fuck up after the results are before you and its tragic like this game is a#a tragedy no matter how you try and spin it. There's lessosn to be learnt but at the end of the day it telling the worst moments of peoples#lives and the certain inevitabilities that come with it#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#curly mouthwashing#captain curly#nurse anya#anya mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing
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What happens when you win the debate on who's the most oppressed group in the transgender community. What happens then. What could be accomplished by finding the one group that is the single most downtrodden demographic that suffers at the hands of every other community and putting them up on the 'most oppressed' throne with a 'most oppressed' trophy that could not be accomplished if we listened and paid attention to individual and group needs and worked to address them without the need to determine 'who has it worst', or worse, 'who actually belongs to the most oppressed group'.
#spitblaze says things#there are times when certain groups will. in fact. be targeted harder than others and its important to uplift and rally around them#and this can be accomplished without turning the whole thing into a pissing contest#i am deliberately keeping this vague because who I'M mad at are the people who think the binarist infighting is any sort of helpful#and if you get into fights over 'okay but x group IS more oppressed' in the notes i will block you#also. btw. the trans community is not a binary of 'my group' and 'everyone else'. its not separate circles#its a big weird messy venn diagram full of people who dont just belong in one circle but might belong in several or all or none of them#any attempt you are going to make at strict categorization WILL fail because language is a very poor tool for determining the definitions#of things as weird and nebulous as 'gender'#sorry lol i have been trying to formulate this post for like an hour after i saw that our-transgender-experiences post#it is not the most perfect and beautiful and nuanced and kind compassionate post ever made. it is a vent post#if you want to read 'stop doing lateral aggression to figure out who has it worst' uncharitably that's on you.#SPITBLAZE SMASH
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𖤓˚𓅆𓇢𓆸 navigation ⋆.˚𝄞⨾𓍢ִ໋⋆☾
☼𓋼𓍊 𓆏𖧧 hi I'm caitlyn! ˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗ -ོ 𓅰
☆ tracking: #usercaitlyns
☆ links:
my blogs
my creations
navigation
series by episode/character/etc
blogroll
tagged in
media tracker (still working on this)
☆ castlegc:
my most absolute beloveds who changed my life forever and mean the entire world to me (genuinely can't thank you all enough for being the best people in my life ILYILYILY !!!):
♡ @charliexspring ♡ @ellaxlopez ♡ @elliewlliams ♡ @gaygentdanvrs ♡ @jemmaasimmons ♡ @laffertys ♡ @laurenxgerman ♡ @leojfitz ♡ @mauraeyk ♡ @mazykeen ♡ @richcrdcastle ♡ @salvatoreselena ♡ @trixiedeckerstar ♡ @twelverriver ♡ @useragarfield ♡ @useryoumna ♡ @violet-bridgerton ♡ @youkilledpetunia ♡
☆ mutuals: also here
If we’re moots, ILY (even if we’ve never talked!!) p.s please don’t be scared to message me whenever, I don’t bite. We can be awkward together akdjfjjd!!! I wanna hear about the things you love or whatever you wanna scream/fan girl about or how your day’s going or literally anything you want to tell me!! I care and I want to listen !! ♡ anyways thanks so much for following me and I’m glad we somehow found each other on this hellsite! Muah!! Sending a big hug your way besties!!!
@28goldens @amalgamads-aneacc @ashleyyroses @bestofcastle @biathecreature @chippythedog @calia-lynn @charliexspring @daomaikeng @delphines @dreamersdivingheadfirst @dxnny-art @esmealux @elliewlliams @evenasyoungastheyare @greenforestworshipper @ghost-roads @haroldsmoon @huggieshalo @holyshit @horancover @harrysmaison @handgf @harrysputa @icarusinterlude @justthinkingaboutlouis @lululawrence @lebesyej @laurenxgerman @lassos-welton @leojfitz @laffertys @laurens-german @lavenderberries @larriescompass @lucy-mclean @mauraeyk @mayasbishop @morningstaraurora @mazykeen @moon-sun-thyme @niallonlyknows @pearlblue2 @pocketsized-healer @pop-punklouis @sason-judeikis @suesheroll @salvatoreselena @stedelasso @sneaky-salty-bitch @stayprettyandsmile @starrynightniall @sunshineysprinkles @sharpesjoy @softcherubhips @seeleybooth @sunmoonandrainbows @sthabit @sunsmile-lou @tomlinshires @thelarrielouie @trixiedeckerstar @toherlover @useryoumna @useragarfield @violet-bridgerton @welllbeafineline @wecantalktomorrow @wendersfive @youkilledpetunia @zourried
*if you're on this list and confused why I tagged you it's bc you follow one of my sideblogs lmao
☆ about me:
pronouns: she/her
animal & nature lover, directioner since 2011 (ot5), biologist and photographer by day - fangirl blogger at all other times, scorpio
music: love pop, rock, lofi, really just anything tbh, I'm literally always listening to music ALWAYS
shows: castle, lucifer, obx, ted lasso, young royals, virgin river, sex education, psych, adow, heartstopper, bridgerton, & sooo many more
movies: the little mermaid, anyone but you, pride & prejudice, sleeping with other people, la la land, the greatest showman, shazam, narnia, barbie & a ton more
watch list/to read list: NEVER ENDING (but listen...I am always open to suggestions...honestly please send me reccs I would absolutely love to hear what you guys have to say/what you're currently into)
drafts/queue: also never ending (the struggle is soooo real being in so many fandoms afsjjgk)
I’d love to make more friends on here, please say hi! I'd love to talk & make new friends (although I suck at replying quickly akjdfl but I def still wanna chat w you)
#navigation#intro#about me#*mine#long post#this was looonnggg overdue#listen this was need and I’ve been working on this for so long you guys!#*needed#I finally have an intro/about me post!!!#I have been working on that nav page (slowly) since the beginning of the year and I’ve been planning on doing it for like 3 yrs alskfjdj#don’t come for me hahahaha#I’ve been working so hard to organize my blogs !! hope anyone will appreciate it#but I’m loving the way it’s turining out ! I just love having things sorted and organized and easy to find/access#also pls dont be afraid to tell me if there’s a mistake/broken link or literally whatever bc honestly I’d really appreciate it!#also i finally have a tracking tag! yay#pls tag me in your amazing creationss!!!#okay that’s all for now#if you read all of this post thank you so much ily#esp if you read the tags too! omg you’re amazing if so and ilysm
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Hi, I kind of have a question, Adam said that can't walk in the sun when doesn't drink blood, but what exactly happens? Do vampires just burn immediately, begin to be more sensitive to sunburn or is it another kind of thing?
so, in time and time again I really wanted blood to be something of a medicinal need for vampires. it's not a 1:1 metaphor of course, please don't try to think of it that way, but it's how I conceptualize it.
He needs blood to go in the sun, to heal, to "be something of a human again" and it also grants him the ability to time travel, shapeshift, compel others...
Without blood, he can't do these things. So, to be honest, without blood vampires would just... die. They can't exist without it. being in the sun uses blood, its dangerous. it wears you down. it makes you weaker. it can kill you!
I realize this ends up making my vampires feel weak, but... it's a metaphor for chronic illness. They have limited energy and if they do not take the time and the 'medications' they need to recover, they'll become weak or die. They have to manage their limited energy.
there's extreme privilege for vampires who have steady access to blood, like Adam does. His access to blood lets him time travel, transform, go in the sun constantly, etc. Vampires without as much access have to become nocturnal, they get stuck in one place, they have to be careful because even a small cut can cost precious resources...
A desperate vampire might end up hurting someone for what they need. a vampire with people who are willing to help them can get by, or even thrive. a vampire with none of these will die.
I know it's not the most satisfying answer, but it is my answer! My experiences being chronically ill are very much at play here.
#I dont want people to think too much about it as a metaphor for chronic illness#cause. OBVIOUSLY 'monster who kills people' is kind of loade#but as you can tell in my writing I'm sort of doing my own kinds of vampires#idk. I think within the confines of my story it's a metaphor I'm comfortable with people reading#but within the broad scope of vampires as a concept not so much#I mean even within the confines of my story I think that it has severe limitations as a metaphor#just. yknow it is the internal logic I'm using and the intent I have#asks#anon#also you dont have to start all your asks with 'hi i sort of have a question'#its okay to just ask me things#pretty sure these are all coming from the same person and I'm pretty sure I know who#not to freak you out just#its a tell haha#its ok to just ask me things I promise#I enjoy talking about my work#I'm happy to get the questions
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Had a surge of inspiration so enjoy Mineyo’s Completed Timeline!
Tag list (ask to be added or removed): @carrionsflower @statichvm @risingsh0t @simonxriley @tommyarashikage @kanos @confidentandgood @unholymilf @florbelles @thedeadthree @shellibisshe @roofgeese @aezyrraeshh @faerune @tekehu @jackiesarch @minaharkers @sergeiravenov @carlosoliveiraa @rosenfey @greenecreek @queennymeria @heroofpenamstan @alexxmason @tethrras @jamessunderlandgf @a-treides @solasan @bigbywlf @delzinrowe @fenharel @imogenkol
#oc: mineyo ginnivan#jess talks#personal*#im so bad at writing it’s unreal#the fact I’ve only finished 3 of these proves that lmao#I wish I had more time today cus I would work on asamis too#considering MHA has officially ended#oh FUCK IVE GOT TO UPDATE RINS TOO😭#fuckkkkk fuck fuckedy fuck#welp that’s a problem for another day#not making any decisions until I’ve read the last chapters anyway#I stopped just before bakugo died cus I couldn’t handle it#so now that I can read it in bulk I should be okay#ANYWAY#bby Mineyo has been sitting in my notes for just as long#and I really wanted to get her all sorted#so here she is!#yknow writing for one of my non trauma ocs (which isn’t many) is gonna be so boring#the drama is so fun to write#even if I suck#anywho I hope you like it!!
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Marina, where are you?
#splatoon#splatoon side order#splatoon fanart#marina ida#off the hook#no description#okay..can i...rant a little bit because i.... have so much to say about side order#first of all i love LOVE the concepts like bleached coral a menacing dark goop futuristic dystopia TABI SHOES & agent 8s new uniform?!!!!!!#its giving margiela which btw i feel was the inspiration behind toni kensa & that entire brand BUT THats for another post#its like the devs catered side order TO ME.....LMFAO like im obsessed with everything about it so far and the intrinsic horror that comes#along with this concept its just...#immediately after watching the trailer i thought if marina is the final boss~ how would that play out whats going on#so ofc i had to draw it out and like the idea of marina possessed by some sort of mega computer obsessed with order like you get my drift?#you know how fucking cool that would be i just feel like since everything is up to speculation right now im going haywire#i read in the jpn version of some article translation marina was becoming disillusions with oth cuz pearl mentioned she was#getting bored with their music hence the damp socks collab and ghosted marina for some time SO WHAT IF.....#feeling like she was discarded / ghosted...her resentment lingered and she turned to whatever was creepin in that dark goop#to maybe find some reasoning as to why pearl was getting bored with oth (or marina...)#like we were all joking that side order will be the off the hook wedding planning DLC but like WHAT IF IT WAS THE BREAK UP.........#also i mentioned toni kensa earlier what if side order is actually his doing like the color scheme red white and black its all there in the#trailers WHAT IF?!!! so many possibilities im gonna explode#anyway thats just my theories anything is game until nintendo destroys all of our expectations come this spring#this is so long if youre reading this thank you like genuinely thank you for taking the time to read this incoherent rant about a squid gam#have a lovely day <3333#oh & high five to anyone who knows what poster i used for reference here hehe..
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i think the diamond dogs should play improv games just bc it would amuse me, an ex theater kid, specifically
#ted and beard ofc are reading each others minds#trent is shockingly good at it but only when he forgets to be self conscious#also see: he does both best and worst with ted (best when he's not being self conscious#worst when somehow the prompt gets too touchy or 'romantic' bc Crush Crush Crush Brain Panic)#(please the image of ted in character hugging him or something and trent just. red. brain crashed. no longer improving just frozen. barely#manages to recover and even then it was not subtle. unclear if ted is a) genuinely oblivious b) teasing him and thinks trent knows that#c) something else(??) )#roy is too stiff most of the time but if he gets really into it he gets REALLY into it.#best way to get this result is to involve phoebe or another child#higgins did community theater at some point and is the one teaching them all the games. beard also seems to have done intense research#but higgins is the one with EXPERIENCE#not that i think beard and ted couldn't have done an improv duo in college or something but in this scenario they did not#nate surprisingly is pretty good at it once he gets into it like it takes him a second but#then he's like. really getting into it and he's very quick on his feet#new way to go mad with power (affectionate): the rush you get when you make the perfect snap back comedic line/acting choice#also while trent is so good paired with so many of them i think he and nate would be a hilarious duo. they're SO funny.#they complement each other well and are both quick & clever#esp if it's about a mutual interest (although one of them taking the lead on something else like nate and music while the other plays off t#em is also good) but like#please i just had the iamge of them basically doing a bit where they're like. those mean old gay muppets in the theater?#like trent and nate improv duoing as some bitchy reviewers just going back and forth and it's so FAST and SO funny#beard records it and posts it somewhere and it goes viral.#god don't even get me started on the idea of some sort of official richmond social media/the gang posting random clips on social media#bc the ideas i have are so funny.#also largely trent centric but what do you want from me okay i'm just a little slut.
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2024 reads / storygraph
Everything Under the Moon
Anthology of queer reimaginings of fairytales by mostly Australian authors
various genres, from contemporary to fantasy and sci-fi, mostly about older teens
mlm, sapphic, trans, nonbinary, demi, bi ace, and aromantic characters, some stories focusing on romance but many on familial relationships and siblings
#Everything Under the Moon#aroaessidhe 2024 reads#aromantic books#queer books#A really nice anthology of queer fairytales! definitely a mix of all sorts of stories.#Some were a bit forgettable (I mean I’m just not a short story person) but I really enjoyed others! I#I picked this up specifically because I heard there was an aromantic story (which I didn’t know much else about) and yeah it hit hard actua#it’s about being okay with loneliness and also centred around artists….so. it did make me cry a bit….#I liked that a lot of them focused on platonic r/ships - most on sibling actually? I appreciate that there were a couple sapphic aces too#I will say while the illustrations are really high quality (I especially liked the naturey ones) I found a lot of them depicted the chars#as very.....disnefied? idk. thin and generic. lacking 'imperfect' features like freckles even#(when they’re described as having them) With a couple exceptions for sure - but a lot of them were a bit samey#I would have loved some authors notes or a list of the stories because I didn’t recognise which all were inspired by#(though they’re on the endpapers; just not specified which) - I did find this in a GR review tho
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