#I picked this up specifically because I heard there was an aromantic story (which I didn’t know much else about) and yeah it hit hard actua

[aroaessidhe]

2024 reads / storygraph

Everything Under the Moon

Anthology of queer reimaginings of fairytales by mostly Australian authors

various genres, from contemporary to fantasy and sci-fi, mostly about older teens

mlm, sapphic, trans, nonbinary, demi, bi ace, and aromantic characters, some stories focusing on romance but many on familial relationships and siblings

[microwavedfishsticks]

I got a little carried away here😅 whoopsies!(tho this info is all from an autistic person). Uh..buckle in! And if you need any clarification or have any questions, you are entirely open to message me, no need to be shy! I'd much rather you have a safe spot to ask any questions rather than worry about putting it out there and getting smack cause of not knowing better.

Also, you are 100% free to headcannon characters as autistic even if you aren't! You don't gotta be queer to headcannon other characters as queer, so on and so forth! I think it's nice if anything, having little representation headcannons.

I don't know how often you've heard this, cause some people have heard it 100 times and some only once, but autism is a vasstt spectrum, so there's not entirely one way to write it, as with anything else. Autistic people have many different quirks and things that do or don't make them autistic. One response you get from one autistic person may be completely different from someone else, and it's not that either is wrong, they just could be at different parts of the spectrum.

Truthfully, if you headcannon Mater as autistic and you're worried about accidentally writing it wrong, just write Mater as..Mater! Even if you don't go into detail about maybe if he has certain hyperfixations or any stims he has, him just being himself is funky enough. Similarly, if you're writing an aromantic character, even if you don't go out of your way to say "this person is aromantic, they don't want a relationship, here's a situation they're in that is demonstrating that", they are still an aromantic person, if that makes any sense.

Truthfully(for me at at least), it's a little hard to give DOs rather than DONTs, because DOs are subjective to each person/character. Do you headcannon Mater as autistic simply just because?(which, nothing wrong with that!) Or do you do it because you think how he acted displayed autistic traits? And if so, what were those traits? Was it how he was acting at the party in Cars 2? Or how he had a meltdown at his sister's wedding? If it's cause of particular things he's done in the show then you can kinda just repeat those again in what you're writing a bit. Put him in a scenario where he takes things literally again(like when Lightning said they weren't in Radiator Springs anymore), or in a spot where he gets overwhelmed again and maybe needs to step aside for a moment.

Again, circling back to what I sorta said earlier, if you headcannon Mater autistic because of how he acts in the movies and such, then simply writing Mater as Mater will be enough, you don't gotta worry too much about emphasizing any specific autistic quirks and go "Oh! Mater is autistic, he has stims and has really bad decision making cause hes impulsive!"(whether impusitivity is his trait, or he's impulsive cause he's understimulated a lot and seeks stimulation is up to you) Because simply writing Mater, those traits might show(like how he wags his towhook whenever he's happy(I don't know how you'd like to show that in a humanized way, pick your stim! XD)) or how Mater has all his Tall Tale stories because of went and did some crazy thing, or in the first Cars movie when he went tractor tripping with Lightning, and mentions how he repeatedly goes tractor tripping on his own before.

And if you somehow read this all then congrats! I hope it was coherent and helped at all.

Sorry about all those parenthesis 😅

Hey, so, hopefully this doesn’t come off as weird

I dont know whether or not I’m neurotypical since Ive been taking quizzes and they’ve been saying I do have symptoms of autism. And I’m confused. But that’s not the topic rn, I have a character who I headcanon as autistic, aka my boy Mater, and I don’t wanna get anything wrong when it comes to me writing fanfiction of him. And hopefully it’s not bad for me to make headcanons like that since I might not be autistic (or I might be, I don’t know at this point.)

Does anybody have any tips for writing autistic characters in fanfiction? Dos and Don’ts, and traits?

[collaborationandresearchproposal]

Thursday 29th April, Research Report: Lycanthropy and the hays code

Notable points * lycanthropy seems  to be synonymous with homosexuality- parallels between Teen Wolf and Buffy The Vampire Slayer's respective coming out scenes. * The Queer-ness of the character Remus Lupin from the Harry Potter books and film series. Many fans head cannon and write slash fics about Remus and Sirius' romance and relationship, reading the characters as queer. The ship, named 'Wolf Star' is quite popular and well known within the fandom. Many fans feel there is enough evidence to build this relationship on; Remus and Sirius' ghosts stood next to each other in the resurrection stone, mirroring Harry's parents,  a canonically married couple. They also bought Harry a joint present for his birthday and know the intricacies of each others personalities. Dumbledore also infamously told Sirius to 'lie low at Lupins.' But the problem here, as the article points out, is that Rowling doesn't acknowledge Lupin as queer, despite the homoerotic cues in the writings,  and instead gives him a female love interest and admits that Lupins Lycantrhopy is a metaphor for AIDS/HIV. She has further dismissed any alternative readings of the character, disappointing fans' hopes of there being a shred of representation in a queer monster who is actually queer. This sort of behaviour from authors and creators is what turns Queer-coding into the more harmful and frustrating Queer-baiting. A large majority of queer representation comes from connotations and interpretations. the clues are there and queer audiences do pick them up. However this grey area allows allows straight culture to use queerness for pleasure and profit in mass culture without admitting to it. Modern examples of this are CW's Supernatural and BBC's Sherlock. I can't personally speak for Supernatural but having watched Sherlock with the advantage of a queer eye, I can say with confidence that it is a prime example of queer-baiting. there is clear homoerotic subtext between Sherlock and John and even Sherlock and Moriarty. I Personally think it's entirely romantic as I head cannon Sherlock to be Asexual or at least on that spectrum but the point is, it is not just wishful thinking or pushing of a narrative. It's manipulation. Queer-baiting takes advantage of an already vulnerable group of people by preying on their desire for representation in the media.

In modern media werewolf's are often portrayed as having chiselled bodies and looming over each other. The 1985 Teen Wolf received a television reboot and it's fair to say it got reasonably more progressive.  It seemed interested in queering the werewolf narrative and in a sly moment of gender-bending the traditional Little Red Riding Hood narrative, protagonist Scott receives the Bite from a male werewolf while wearing a Little Red Hoodie (‘Wolf Moon’). Additionally, the show features LGBTQ characters while Scott’s human best friend Stiles visits a gay bar and makes friends with a group of drag queens in startling contrast to the gay panic of the 1985 film’s version of Stiles. By midway through the show’s second season, the slash pairing that had proved dominant in the fandom was Stiles and wannabe-Alpha Derek Hale. The two characters, who operate in the narrative as belligerent and begrudging allies, rapidly became a slash phenomenon, due, in part, to the chemistry and comic timing between actors Tyler Hoechlin and Dylan O’Brien. The narrative is further subverted when Derek is raped by an adult  human woman.

The pair 'Sterek' gained so much traction that it caught the attention of MTV and the cast and crew behind the show. So much so that they released a video of Hoechlin and O'Brien cuddling on a boat, asking fans to vote for Teen Wolf for this  years Choice Summer TV Show at the Teen Choice Awards. This  was big as it acknowledged fans and slash flics and the pairing itself as a possibility and many queer voices who watched the show felt heard and validated. However this didn't last long. MTV released a video on the official Teen Wolf Facebook, this time featuring O’Brien asking fans to vote for Teen Wolf in a TV Guide Poll. O’Brien joked that if fans did not vote, then the show would kill off its sole remaining gay character and one of the few remaining non-white characters on the show, Danny. The Teen Wolf Facebook released the video with the following caption: ‘Keep #TeenWolf in first place! Heed Dylan and Linden’s advice or we might have to. #KillDanny’ (Teen Wolf). The show’s social media team then attempted to make the #KillDanny tag go viral on Facebook and twitter, but fans, understandably, were not amused, primarily using the tag for outraged tweets to MTV (Baker-Whitelaw).Such blatant disregard for fans’ concerns about queer representation on the show alienated a large number of fans, especially when coupled with Jeff Davis’ more frequently dismissive and condescending comments about the Sterek pairing where he had been enthusiastic and even encouraging of the ship. As seasons wore on without any indication that Sterek would indeed become canon, it became clear that MTV and Jeff Davis had been queer-baiting Sterek fans as a marketing technique and that the unique interplay that fans had enjoyed with Davis, which offered a new kind of truly interactive fandom had, in fact, been something of an illusion. ' serial killer Hannibal Lecter and his love interest Will Graham in Hannibal, and reanimated gay corpses Kieren, Simon, and Rick in In the Flesh. Notably, both series have received an overwhelmingly positive response from fans and critics who have applauded the series for taking their queer monsters beyond mere coding and into explicit text. The warm reception of Hannibal and In the Flesh’s handling of queer representation by fans, and the continuing frustration with Teen Wolf’s queer-baiting and the appropriative nature of Remus Lupin’s narrative in Harry Potter, belie a desire not only for better queer representation, but also for more complex re-articulations of queer monstrosity' the symbolic and narrative trappings of monsters are often used as metaphors for queerness without actually acknowledging the positive behind that queer identity or even confirming the queer identity at all. Another positive example is the miniseries Good Omens. Based on the book of the same name, written by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman. Pretty much the whole fandom believe That the two leads, Crowley and Aziraphale are in a romantic relationship. They've known each other for centuries and perhaps what was the main fuel to this ships fire was the episode 3 cold open. Even fans who have only read the book seem to support these two as a couple and what's perhaps even more amazing is Gaiman’s response on twitter. "I wrote it as a love story. They acted it as a love story. You saw it as a love story. How much more proof do you need?" and "I wouldn't exclude the ideas that they are ace, or aromantic, or trans. They are an angel and a demon, not as make humans, per the book. Occult/Ethereal beings don't have sexes, something we tried to reflect in the casting. Whatever Crowley and Aziraphale are, it's a love story." It's beautiful because not only does it confirm that they are in love but it also leaves room for interpretations of what kind of relationship they have together.

https://dialogues.rutgers.edu/images/Journals_PDF/2017-18-dialogues-web_e6db3.pdf#page=164

In the year 1922, when cinema was gaining traction and popularity, The Motion Picture Producers and Distributors Association (MPPDA) hired a devout Presbyterian, Will H. Hays as its head. Eight years later, in 1930, the MPPDA ratified the Motion Picture Production Code. Also known as the Hays Code, these guidelines were set up as “a list of rules that studios could follow to avoid the censors’ wrath” one specific line read “sexual perversion or any inference to it is forbidden” This era in censorship set the stage for a culture in which the stereotypical behaviour of homosexuals, or any behaviour deviating from the traditional gender roles, is seen as dangerous, evil, and even fatal. By representing coded homosexual characters as depressed, perverse, and succumbing to punishing ends, it shifted social subconscious beliefs of LGBT individuals in real life to those represented on screen. Media often teaches us how to feel about others and ourselves – e.g., it promotes specific body types and clothing styles. In the same way, by promoting gendered behaviour and banning homosexuality, it spread a message that homosexuality was not fit to be viewed openly. Although themes of homosexuality were banned they were definitely alluded to and that continues today.

[being-demisexual]

Hiii

I hope this is okay to ask as it isn't really about demi but about romantic attraction, please feel free to not answer if you feel that this ask doesn't fit with this blog.

For about a year/ a couple months now I was slowly starting to overthing if I'm aro and it has been giving me so much stress it's honestly ridiculous.

Short story of important things in my life: I never really felt aromantic. Since a small child I liked the stereotypical films about princesses and princes and all that stuff. I had crushes on boys, at least I think so... For me it was being interested in the idea of dating them, to be specific.

Ages 13-16, so middle school here, I was getting aware that I was asexual- though I found this term only at the end of middle school as being a then christian in a largely christian country I honestly was largely unaware that lgbt was even a thing. I still liked the idea of getting a boyfriend, though I was getting aware it will be harder for me to find someone since the whole dont-want-sex thing. I was also largely imagining that if I find a person it will probably be someone I'm already friends with at least to some extent.

Well skip to me now, single for a few months now, after a 2-year relationship with my ex girlfriend and ex best friend... Somehow having a mild existential crisis if I might have not noticed that I'm aromantic, feeling like an impostor. The thing it, my ex changed their identity to demisexual, previously identifying as asexual during our relationship- which is totally fine and I had no issues with that, to be clear. Before she told me though, unconsciously I've been noticing we're a bit different in how we experience attraction and Istarted to fear if I should feel more, if romantic attraction should be a physical feeling and not just "I want to spend my life with them, I like being close and hugging, cuddling, kissing even if for the most part I don't feel anything physical from it." That maybe I don't know myself and I've been accidentally "faking". There was a period of maybe half a year when I did feel a bit more, but it could have been some leftover crazy hormones, I have no idea. I can also be rather reserved in public and so I preferred to save more intimate gestures than hand holding/a hug/ a fast kiss for a private place. Being questioned if I'm aro in the falling out part of the relationship really stung me and clearly didn't help with this issue, even though after some time she apologized, it's still eating away at the back of my brain.

So I'm writing all this to ask you, can you try to describe what romantic attraction is like to you? Do you literally feel something physically or is it more desires to be close to someone and thoughts?

Now that I'm single I'm scared of both never finding anyone again and of finding someone but making them feel unloved with how I express my feelings and messing it up again.

I dug at AVEN for answers too and found people describe romantic attraction both ways and I'm still not at peace with myself somehow, but maybe one more description will at least help with it a bit. I just want some internal peace :,(. I might be a bit desperate to find it.

Thank you for reading all this, and sorry for the long text, I felt like it's necessary to my situation

Hi there! I’ll give answering this my best shot, but probably not in the way you exactly want. I don’t really know what romantic attraction is, but it seems highly variable from person to person. Some people like a lot of PDA, some don’t. Some people find cuddling important, others want to celebrate a lot of little anniversaries (first date, first kiss, etc). I think it really does differ from person to person. I’ve never even been on a single date, let alone developed a romantic attraction to a person. 

That being said, I feel like I have the answer for you. Have you, in all your digging on AVEN, heard of the term QPR? It stands for queer platonic relationship. A lot of exclusionists like to paint this as just being friends, but its deeper than that. 

See, a lot of aro people desire companionship and commitment but without the dating part. A lot of aro people want someone to give them hugs, hold their hands, or maybe even kiss, but without the expectation of romantic feelings or actions, like going on dates and such. This is where a QPR comes in, which is basically a very committed, platonic partnership. I love my best friend, but I wouldn’t move in with her, adopt a per with her, or put her on my life insurance plan as a beneficiary. Those are all things you do with a spouse or romantic partner, or a QPR. You wouldn’t need to counsel your best friend before taking a new job to see if it’s financially responsible to do so, you wouldn’t need to discuss moving across the country for different opportunities with them, you wouldn’t put them on your health insurance plan. You would with a QPR. 

Most human living is designed to be done, at minimum, with two people. Most human living is better done in communities, but I digress. Almost everyone wants companionship and life partners, but they don’t have to be romantic or sexual in nature. It is probably worth seriously considering if a QPR style “relationship” is something you might want. If you don’t care about having sex and don’t have romantic feelings towards anyone, then you might be aromantic asexual - aroace. That absolutely DOES NOT mean that you are doomed to spend the rest of your life alone.

Also, if you don’t think a QPR sounds right for you, or you try it and it doesn’t work out, then you can go through life having friends and connecting with family and being a member of your community without having relationships necessarily. I don’t have any romantic interests right now, and I really don’t need them since I am getting plenty of human connection with friends (both IRL and online) and through family. 

To sum up, I don’t know if there really is any consistent definition for how romantic attraction is expressed. Maybe it is physical, to some people it certainly is. Maybe you are aromantic and a QPR is what you need. Maybe you aren’t aro and are just a pretty reserved person who prefers to express romantic feelings outside of physical gestures - like making sure the house is always clean because that’s what your partner likes, and picking up the type of coffee they prefer when you know you’re out. Little things, that might not seem romantic but do convey a lot of love and appreciation and attention to your partner when they all stack up. I’m not sure, and it sounds like you aren’t totally sure either. But that isn’t an inherently bad thing. You can take the time to list out what you think romantic attraction is to you and how you express it. I did that with sexual attraction when I was exploring being demisexual. You don’t have to rush, and you certainly don’t have to panic. There is always time to figure it out, and there is not bad outcome here - just you, being more confident and settled in your identity.

Feel free to reach out (through a dm, if you want) if you want to talk more. I hope this helped!

[shades-of-grayro]

Question: Could non-sam aro be the same as quoiro? Does this fall under greyro? How or why would one choose to use one over the other? (Also, as opposed to just simply aro or arospec) I'm always indecisive about what label to pick from when I need to clarify to someone. (I don't have a decided label for myself.) All of these labels feel about equal to me, I can never decide, so I end up on just aro for simplicity's sake, but I also change my mind sometimes? Idk

(I really enjoy thinking about words and their meanings, so this is a fun question and I am looking forward to answering it lol.)

So, the phrase non-sam* aro typically refers to someone who is aro and who also opts out of identifying with a sexual orientation. Which I don’t think is what you’re getting at, though I could be wrong. It seems like you are referring to opting-out of romantic orientation, which if you are ace would be non-sam ace (if you’re not ace I’ll get to that later). Non-sam is basically a label that says “I don’t have a label.”

Quoiromantic is a label that basically says “the concept of romance/romantic attraction doesn’t make sense to me/isn’t useful for me.” (Here’s a history that goes into more depth.) Some people who identify as quoiromantic see that as opting out of a romantic orientation much like non-sam (ace) often describes**, and may not see it as either alloromantic or on the aromantic spectrum, but rather something else entirely. Others who identify as quoiromantic do see it as an aromantic-spectrum identity. It’s up to the individual. (Here’s a post on the “does quoiro count as aro” question.)

Non-sam not typically used with sexual orientations besides asexuality, as not using the split attraction model (or rather not using separate romantic and sexual orientation labels) is generally the default with those, so I’m not sure it would convey the same “opting out” that non-sam ace would convey.*** If you are allosexual, quoiromantic might work a bit better for this reason.

Personally, I’m in the “romance makes zero sense to me” camp, but I identify as grayromantic. Grayromantic can include experiences that fall under what “quoiromantic” would describe, but it is also broader, and can encompass anything that is “aromantic but not quite.”

There are a few reasons I choose to identify as greyromantic as opposed to any of the other terms. First, it’s a catch-all, which makes me feel comfortable because I don’t have to figure out the specifics of what’s going on. I could be demiromantic, I could be quoiromantic, I could be idemromantic, or maybe romance as a concept isn’t actually real. Any way you cut it, greyromantic would describe me. Second, I see my confusion with romance as a fundamentally aromantic experience. I have more in common with aros than alloromantic people, even when I’m engaging in ““romance”“.

I actually really like the idea of opting-out of a romantic orientation, though. I like the idea of my romantic orientation being schroedinger’s orientation - ace people might be aro and they also might be alloromantic, so if I don’t say anything, they won’t be making any assumptions which would invariably wrong (theoretically). I don’t know whether or not I experience romantic attraction, and really I just would rather people stop assuming one way or the other whether I do, and that’s definitely a downside of identifying as greyromantic - people make that assumption.

Doing the amount of aro and ace advocacy I do, and participating in the aro community as much as I do, I don’t really feel like I can identify that way, unfortunately.

As far as the word “aromantic” goes, I identify as aromantic as well, though not all greyromantic and quoiromantic people do. I actually used to identify myself as aromantic more frequently, but now that I’m in a partnership I often find myself identifying more specifically as greyromantic from the start to avoid people going “how can you be aro and be in a ‘‘‘‘‘romantic’‘‘‘‘ relationship?” Idk I’m fairly positive I don’t experience a unique type of attraction that is inherently romantic, but I’m also not convinced that anyone does, which would mean that I am feeling what other people are feeling, y’know?

As far as “aro” goes - anyone on the aromantic spectrum can use that, including people who identify as something other than “aromantic” spelled all the way out. “Arospec” is simply a synonym of “aro” and I hate it, though it is often used incorrectly to mean “people who are on the aromantic spectrum but not what I am arbitrarily deeming to ‘not be aromantic enough’ to count as ‘aro’“. Or in other words they use “arospec” where the word “greyromantic” used as an umbrella term would be more accurate. Arospec, short for aromantic spectrum, includes aromantic people. (sorry for the brief, slightly irrelevant rant)

Also - nothing’s wrong with switching up the word you use to describe your romantic orientation. The most common ones I fluctuate between are “aro,” “grayromantic,” and “aromantic,” with “‘just’ ace” (what some would call non-sam ace) being an occasional one as well.

Anyway, I hope you find my rambles helpful. Followers, feel free to chime in with why you identify with one over the other, and anon be sure to check the notes to see if anyone else had thoughts! I’d also recommend the blog The Ace Theist if you’re looking for a personal narrative that contrasts mine on this topic. (I’ve linked a few relevant posts throughout.)

*There are some issues with the term non-sam and I generally don’t use the word unless referring to someone who self-identifies that way. Though for this answer I used it because it would have been way too confusing otherwise - I may have done some word gymnastics in places where I though it may have been offensive to entirely just use non-sam though. I generally use “aros without a sexual orientation” if I need an umbrella term, though other terms such as “unit aro” and “non-rosol” have been proposed to convey basically the same concept. Neither have really caught on, but “unit” is probably slightly more common.

**non-sam can be broader than quoiromantic. Quoiromantic is specifically that “romance doesn’t make sense” idea and other related things, but non-sam is more like schroedinger’s romantic orientation - you could “technically” be alloromantic, aromantic, quoiromantic, or anything else, but ultimately it’s not as important to you as your sexual orientation and you don’t see it as worth divulging to others.

***This is all conjecture and I probably could write a whole essay about this. Moral of the story: I’ve never heard someone who wasn’t ace use “non-sam” in place of a romantic orientation the way aces (and aros) do, and I’m not sure they’d want to for a variety of reasons.

[timeisacephalopod]

Without Romance

Have an ironpanther soulmate AU (where you see color when you meet your soulmate) in which Tony is aromantic and poor T’Challa is his soulmate and also confused by the Americans. Though Tony doesn’t use the word ‘aromantic’ because its not a term he’s ever come across before. But its pretty obvious that he’s aro.

Tony is trying to wrangle his damn cat back into her carrier but she’s not really having it when someone taps him on the shoulder. “I should have named you Jar Jar Binks instead of Leia because you are being annoying as fuck,” he hisses at the cat before he turns around to find a pretty attractive dude laughing behind him.

“Beautiful cat. Um. I think you’re my soulmate,” he says and tony snorts.

“Nope, don’t do that shit. Find whoever was behind me,” he says, turning back around and picking up the cat. She places her paws on either side of the carrier and Tony sighs as she does her best to resist going into the fucking carrier. “God damnit Leia, would you just cooperate for ten damn seconds, you don’t ever hate the carrier one you’re in it!” he tells her. He gets an annoyed meow in response.

“Um. There isn’t anyone else but you in this direction,” the guy behind him says and Tony looks up. Huh, that’s weird- turns out he’s right.

Tony shrugs, “doesn’t matter, I don’t to romance so that’s a fluke on your part. Get your eyes checked,” Tony tells him as he finally manages to wrangle the cat into her carrier. “Finally!” he says excitedly, shutting the door before the cat dashes out and he spends another half an hour jamming the animal back in there. This is why he avoids taking her to the vet.

Behind him the guy sputters. “I.. but... you... you must have seen in color when you saw me too,” he says and Tony shakes his head.

“Nope. Cat’s my soulmate. Fitting because like I said, I don’t do romance. Cat’s cute and fuzzy, romance is messy and jammed into fucking everything for no reason at all,” he says, shaking his head. He had desperately turned to the horror genre, a genre he hates on account of what asshole likes to be scared, only to discover that even killing the shit out of people has romantic subplots. He assumed stupidly that maybe the genre, being what it is, wouldn’t have couples and shit but holy hell even a bunch of people dying for some reason needs a romance in it. Tony is genuinely floored by the obsession though he supposes in this soulmate obsessed country he’s the weird one. But damn, just one time he’d like to watch something without that garbage in it.

Even advertisements have soulmates in them. When he’s buying soap the last thing he cares about is soulmates so why are they mentioned again?

“Oh. Well that’s certainly unusual. I... don’t think that changes you being my soulmate though,” the guy says and Tony turns back around.

“I’m going to be blunt with you here. I don’t do relationships, I don’t give a fuck about soulmates, I don’t understand the world’s fascination with them, and I don’t view it as some sort of reason to give shit about you. Not to be a dick but you seeing color means nothing to me and why would it? Its literally a chemical bath on your brain, how’s that supposed to mean anything to me?” he asks, shaking his head. Its not a good reason to start a relationship.

The guy gestures to the cat. “We both like cats. And Star Wars,” he says and Tony rolls his eyes.

“Ninety percent of the world likes Star Wars and cats might have a lower population who love them but that’s still at least thirty percent of the world. Do better,” Tony tells him.

HIs companion smiles a little and Tony’s surprised he hasn’t been slapped. A couple people around them damn well look like they want to slap him and honestly they can fuck off. Its not his fault he’s right. “In my country there’s a word for people like you, the ones who seem to have no interest in soulmates,” he says and well okay, color Tony curious he didn’t expect this guy to actually do better.

“Uh huh. What country is that?” he asks. Accent isn’t familiar to him even if its certainly African. Probably closer to the south of the continent, but that’s about as good as his guess gets.

The guy smiles, “Wakanda,” he says and Tony lets out a loud snort.

“You mean the isolationist nation that hasn’t been involved in world politics since what, pre-colonial times? Buddy,” Tony tells him, shaking his head. Shit, he could have come up with a more believable country than that.

*

Rhodey watches as Tony proceeds with the most hilariously awkward encounter he’s ever seen him in. Sam sits across from him also watching for his own amusement. “The prince of Wakanda. Gotta admit I didn’t see that coming.”

“Honestly it was the cat I didn’t see coming. I think a prince of a nation we haven’t heard from in hundreds of years is honestly a lot less weird than his cat.” Tony had been ecstatic and honestly Rhodey genuinely thinks it didn’t occur to Tony that the implication of his soulmate being a cat was that he would have sex with it. Obviously that never happened but still, Tony was the only one who didn’t immediately think that.

Sam rolls his eyes at him. “Only because you have some weird assumptions about soulmates,” he tells him and Rhodey sighs.

“Yeah, you have a fancy degree or whatever but I have eyes. I know how soulmates work.”

“We don’t actually, and who can be soulmates with what degree of acceptance is entirely based on the time period we’re talking about. Like Jim Crow era America was not cool with interracial soulmates, but especially if one was black and the other was white. And gay people, and platonic connections, and familial connections- the further we get out of the accepted norms of romance the less accepted those connections are. Animal and human, for example, tends to be frowned upon because we assume soulmates look like only one narrow definition of romantic acceptability,” Sam tells him like he’s never said all this before.

“Then why are all the soulmates in America romantic?” Rhodey asks.

“They aren’t dingbat, the ones that don’t have that connection aren’t like Tony and flaunting it about. You think interracial soulmates were out there yelling about their soulmate being a black person? Probably not when they’d both get killed for being defective. Tony being famous and well loved probably saved his ass from worse speculations than cat fucking. Which is an absurd conclusion to come to, by the way.”

Uh huh. Sam can go on the way he does all he wants but Rhodey wants real proof, not two and a half people in a couple studies who claim that they don’t have a romantic connection to their soulmate. Though it is pretty clear Tony loves his cat in a not romantic way. But then Tony never really has done the romance thing.

Case and point, the poor bastard looks pinched across the table with T’Challa and he keeps shooting Rhodey ‘help me’ looks. “Should we go save him?” Rhodey asks Sam and he shakes his head.

“No. He stole that last dumpling last night and his pasty ass can suffer there,” Sam says, glaring at Tony. Rhodey snorts and starts laughing because Sam has always been a petty bastard but that has to take the cake.

*

T’Challa looks confused and Tony’s never met anyone who doesn’t assume all soulmates are romantic ones. “But Tony’s soulmate is a cat. Do you... do you think he has... relations with the cat? You don’t, right?” he asks, giving Tony a panicked look that disappears fast presumably because he looks so disgusted.

“No, T’Challa what the fuck?” He relaxes some, giving one of his guards in orange a relieved look. For a second her harsh exterior fades as she cracks just a bit of a smile before she goes back to looking like she’s ready to kill a man. Or woman. Or whatever, she doesn’t look like she’d be picky about it.

“No I don’t think Tony fucks the cat,” Rhodey tells him. “But he’s weird.”

“He’s not weird, this happens all the time in Wakanda. What do you do when soulmates are so far apart in age they can’t possibly hold a romantic interest in each other?” he asks, frowning.

“Assume the older one is a pedophile and throw them in jail,” Sam says. “Don’t look at me like that I shit you not that is an actual American law and will land you on the sex offender registry.”

That’s the most absurd shit Tony has ever heard and clearly everyone in the room, even romantic soulmate fan number one Rhodey, agrees with that.

“Americans are stupid,” T’Challa mumbles. “No offense,” he offers to Tony only.

He shrugs. “Yeah I mean. True. People printed stories about me and the cat for like four years consistently. Like sure, climate change is going to fuck us all but lets talk about that one guy who loves his cat and our speculations about it based on nothing but our assumptions of what soulmates need to be even though its obvious that’s not what’s happening here. It really is exhausting.”

“What about family members that are soulmates?” T’Challa asks. “Or soulmates who don’t share a sexuality that would inspire a romantic connection? Or people like you who don’t have an interest in romance at all but still have a soulmate?” He nods at Tony specifically. In Wakanda they have a word for it not that Tony can pronounce it. Apparently the loose translation is ‘without romance.’

“Oh list is longer than that depending on where we are. Pretty much anything that wasn’t a white heterosexual Christian couple was thrown right out of all research on the basis of being ‘perverted’ so uh. Yeah, here its romance or bust. We’ve gotten a little more lax with interracial pairings and gay people but they still get a bunch of shit. And people like Tony are basically unheard of.”

Tony frowns, “that’s not true, my Twitter feed is constantly lit up with people thanking me for saying that I have no interest in romance and soulmates because they feel the same way. We aren’t rare, people choose not to see us even when I’m literally yelling in their face.” Like with Rhodey, who really only seems to accept that Tony is different, not that his perceptions in totality are wrong. Even when Sam, his beloved soulmate, points out the flaws on Rhodey’s views he still doesn’t see it.

“In Wakanda we are aware that soulmate connections are as unique and varying as the people in the relationships. I assumed that romance thing was just the British,” he says, shaking his head. Because most of his travels outside Wakanda, Tony has learned, were to Europe though he stuck mostly around Britain in particular. He’s obviously been to quite a few African nations but he doesn’t seem to have stuck around long enough to get a lasting feel of their soulmate culture. Tony’s pretty sure if he had he wouldn't have concluded that only the British act that way with soulmates.

Sam shakes his head, “nah. I mean it’s a European idea and the wide spread assumptions about romance and soulmates being interchangeable did come out of European colonization but by now more of the world believes romance and soulmates are the same than not.”

Tony has no idea why Sam thinks that’s a useful area of study or why he chose that after the army but here he is. And apparently he loves his soulmate counseling job. Tony’s pretty sure he’d shoot himself if he were Sam.

“Why is it that ninety percent of the world’s useless ideas manage to come from Europeans shoving their culture down everyone’s throats?” T’Challa asks, irritated.

“In Europe’s slight defense if someone else off and colonized they’d probably do the same thing,” Tony says.

“But they didn’t, now did they? Regardless, American assumptions about soulmates are absurd. Imagine ignoring such obvious evidence the way you do! Throwing people in jail because their soulmate connection is not what you deem acceptable only because your definition is narrow and restrictive- absurd!” he says, shaking his head.

*

Shuri snorts and starts laughing. “Oh come on big brother, if you’re going to tell tall tales about Americans at least make them believable. No one would assume a man would have sex with his cat because the cat is his soulmate that’s ridiculous!” she says. Fuck Tony was born in the wrong damn country. Shuri looks between him and T’Challa and frowns. “He’s not lying, is he?” she asks him and Tony shakes his head. She lets out a long sigh and looks as lost and confused as T’Challa had when Tony first explained this all to him.

“So now we should expose him to proper soulmate culture because his culture has victimized him, teaching him there is something wrong with him because he didn’t have an interest in soulmates,” T’Challa says, shaking his head.

Truthfully he still doesn’t but he actually likes T’Challa and if nothing else no one else is allowed into Wakanda and the country is stunning. Might as well take advantage while he gets to know T’Challa better.

[too-spicy-and-too-queer]

Hi! I really appreciate your posts and found I connected with what you said about being aromantic and wanting committed emotional and sexual intimacy (though I'm still working out my feelings on the sexual bit). I was wondering if you could perhaps talk about your thoughts on being aromantic and polyamorous?

Thank you so much.  I’m still really shocked that people relate to what I’m writing, even though rationally that’s the reason why I started this blog.  It means a lot to me that people connect with my experiences.

Honestly, the overlap of my aromantic and polyamorous experiences is a complicated topic that I’m still struggling to understand.  So, good job picking perhaps the most difficult and confusing intersection of my blog topics for my first ever ask.  But the more I examine my experiences in these two areas, the more I realize they are deeply interconnected.

Before I continue, I want to say that there’s some debate over whether polyamory is an orientation or not.  Some polyamorists call it a relational orientation.  Having been involved in a local polyamory community for a decade now and having listened to many personal stories, I believe it is true that some people (maybe most?) do experience it that way.  I fully support them in their assertion that polyamory is an identity they did not choose, but an identity they need to acknowledge and be free to explore in order to be fully actualized people.  That said, this is not how I experience polyamory.  For me, engaging in polyamorous relationships is a rational choice, not something inherent to my being like my queer orientations.  Maybe it’s because I’m aromantic, so there’s a larger element of rational choice in my decisions to engage in romantic relationships in the first place.  But engaging in polyamorous relationships is a choice that has improved my quality of life repeatedly.  I’m not here to debate anyone else’s experience.  Others experience polyamory as an orientation and I stand by them in solidarity.  Normally I wouldn’t even bother saying this since we should all bear witness by default to each other’s personal experiences, but my experience of polyamory as a personal choice is relevant to what I’m going to share.

For me, initially, polyamory was just the most convenient solution to a set of problems that kept popping up in my romantic relationships.  But once I connected with a polyamory community, I stayed invested in it because of the way the community challenged my views and kept me thinking about the nuances of identity and intimacy.

The most striking thing to me in my earliest open relationships was how much freer I felt, and I don’t mean free to date around.  That was never what I wanted.  Romantic relationships are profoundly uncomfortable for me because of the expectations most heterosexual alloromantics havefor particular behavior and specific experiences, both in terms of romantic-coded activities that trigger my repulsion, and heteronormative behavior that makes me feel dysphoric.  But also, romantic relationships were the only tolerable situation I could think of in which I could explore the kinds of intimacy that I want when I love someone.

My first two open relationships started as monogamous relationships, so I had simply accepted that I would have to endure a certain amount of discomfort and repulsion.  Changing those relationships to nonmonogamous helped me feel some relief from that pressure, and helped my partners feel free to seek satisfaction elsewhere that I was not capable of giving them.  They were able to focus more on what they liked about intimacy with me, so the time we did spend together felt much more satisfying to both of us.  I also felt relief from the guilt of being in monogamous relationships and not being able to reciprocate my partner’s romantic feelings.  But I didn’t understand this with any kind of nuance, since the aromantic community didn’t exist yet, and I was still in deep denial about my queer identity. All I knew was that, even though I never pursued more than one intimate relationship at a time, open relationships felt better and I didn’t really know why.

My first two open relationships had already ended before I even heard the word “polyamory”.  After this, I decided to seek out other people who had similar experiences.  I found a local polyamory community and I was immediately drawn in by their discussion groups, how much they focused on open and honest communication, how many of them had practiced self-awareness skills, how they could communicate about emotions and intimacy with a nuance many monogamous people never learn.  I didn’t date again for years, but I kept going to events held by the polyamory community, participating in the discussion groups, and making friends.

Eventually, I did date again, and it was a similar experience.  I had hoped that if I was getting into relationships that were open from the beginning, there would be even less pressure on me to perform a particular way, but polyamorists do focus a lot on the romantic aspect of intimacy.  There were still a lot of heteronormative gender role expectations, so I was much more uncomfortable than I would have cared to be.  So my polyamorous relationships were short-lived, but by this point I had become an organizer in the polyamory community and still found a lot of satisfaction and meaning in our conversations about intimacy.

It was around this time that I began coming out as queer, and honestly that threw me into a crisis regarding polyamory.  Once I began exploring my identity and deeply examining my intimate experiences, I noticed that my experiences of attraction didn’t match the descriptions of the people around me.  I was facilitating a polyamory discussion group one day, listening to people describe in detail the arc of infatuation, and I realized I had never once experienced that.  This experience is directly what led to me looking up “aromantic” to see if it was a real thing.  And then I found the Tumblr aromantic blogosphere and Arocalypse, and it all made sense.  But I started to wonder if I should leave the polyamory community.  Discovering that I’m aro made me feel like a fake polyamorist, if that makes any sense.

But I still think polyamory can work for aros.  After all, one of the most common sayings I hear from polyamorists is “you have more than one friend, so why only one partner?”  I think this can resonate for aros more than they realize.  Honestly I think an open relationship is the only way I could be intimate with an alloromantic at this point, otherwise the pressure to satisfy their romantic needs would just be stifling to me.  And a lot of sexually active aromantics I’ve talked to so far seem to think that monogamy just isn’t particularly practical.  So while polyamory specifically might not be the best choice for every aro, I think nonmonogamy in general is probably a good option.  But there are still monogamous aros, and I have great respect for them.  We’ve all got to figure out our own comfort zones, and sometimes being a marginal queer makes that hard to explore, since we lack any collective narratives at all.  But that just means we need to write our own narratives.

[aroworlds]

Aro-Spec Artist Profile: Shell

Our next aro-spec creator is Shell, already known to the aro-spec community as @arosnowflake and the author of the awesome short story Seducing Trouble!

Shell is an autistic, ADHD, non-binary aro-ace person who writes short stories, original fiction, fanfiction and essays. You can find eir fanworks on AO3 under the username spitecentral, writing for the Voltron: Legendary Defender, Fullmetal Alchemist, DC Universe, Batman and Batgirl fandoms, and we’ll hope ey posts more pieces from eir original Coffeeshop Project!

With us Shell talks about how ey writes romance as an aro-ace, depicting relationships in fiction, the impact of amatonormativity on creativity and eir alienation from current aro-spec community conversations. Eir words bound with enthusiasm on authentic creativity and the growth of the aro-spec community, so please let’s give em all our love, encouragement, gratitude, kudos and follows for taking the time to explore what it is to be aromantic and creative.

Can you share with us your story in being aro-spec?

I never thought I was anything other than straight, although I did start noticing that I was different from other people when I was as young as twelve (for example, I remember being asked to pick the handsomest guy in a boy band, but to me, they all looked the same). However, I simply put this down to my autism, and since I was already desensitized to differences with peers, I pretty much ignored it. That is, until I repeatedly saw the word ‘asexual’ used online, and I began to wonder what it was, so I googled it. After reading the first paragraph on the Wikipedia page, I basically slammed my computer shut and did my very best to convince myself that no, I was overreacting, and also straight; after all, I was already autistic and ADHD, so any more diversity would be implausible.

Past me was so naive.

Anyway, I came to terms with being asexual at sixteen, and openly started identifying with it without adding ‘I think’ when I was seventeen. When I learned about the SAM, I initially dismissed the idea of being aro because I had a couple of crushes when I was a kid. However, after learning more about aromanticism and after some conversations with aromantic people, I decided to adopt the label since it really fit me. I mean, I was like nine when I had those crushes, and I don’t feel like they counted. I’m fairly sure now that I was just having them because it seemed like the Thing To Do, and, even then, all of my fantasies involved a more platonic ‘best friends forever but with shared pets’ lifestyle than a romantic thing. So while I may or may not have had crushes before, I don’t think I ever will again, and I don’t want to either, so I’ve adopted the aromantic label. I know it sounds weird, but oh well!

Can you share with us the story behind your creativity?

I don’t remember exactly why or when I began to write. I know it happened when I was around twelve, but that’s kind of it? It’s not really a spectacular story. As for how I began to create the things I do now, that’s slightly more interesting. Really, everything centers around one thing: spite. No one writes autistic characters, and no one writes stories with no romantic plotlines, so I guess I’ll have to do it myself! That’s my literal thought process behind my writing at any given moment, honestly. Even when I’m not writing about autism or other marginalized identities, I write obscure and sometimes absurdist fantasy with magic types or settings that I haven’t seen used before, because I find writing that fascinating, or because I’m annoyed that no one else has used that particular idea. I’m fairly sure that was the reason I began writing originally, too: I had stories I wanted to read, and no one was writing them, so I guess I’ll have to do it.

Are there any particular ways your aro-spec experience is expressed in your art?

Well, first and foremost, I never focus on romantic relationships. Even when they appear in the story, they are not the focus. I’m so sick and tired of reading romantic plotlines, and I am not planning on ever contributing to that trend, thank you very much. So platonic relationships, worldbuilding or character development are often central to the story, instead of romance.

Second, I have this habit of interpreting tropes differently than allos because of my aromanticism. Name soulmates, for example. I know they aren’t a very popular trope in the aro community, but I love them. However, I have a different definition of them than most: I’ve always interpreted a ‘soulmate’ as someone who changes your life (for better or for worse), not your ‘other half’ or whatever nonsense we’re on today. I didn’t even realize that wasn’t a widespread thing until I heard aros complain about soulmate tropes! Stuff like that happens on a fairly regular basis, so I think my aromanticism definitely affects how I write certain settings/tropes, too.

Third, if I do write romance, I feel like I do it in a different way than allo creators. First, I suck at it. Badly. I used to try and write it in the same way that I always heard about it, bold and dramatic and mushy, and my mom (my loyal proofreader when I was a kid), always looked at me awkwardly and was like, ‘No, that’s not how it’s done.’ Since I don’t experience it, I honest to god don’t get why people insist that it’s the best or most important feeling in the world. The way characters in fiction always put their friendships or anything else on hold when that person walks by just … baffles me. I can’t write romance that way. I just can’t.

Instead, I tend to write romance in a much quieter way. If two of my characters are in an established relationship (and it’s always established because I still can’t write ‘coming together’ stories for the life of me), they are casual and comfortable with each other. In any relationship I write, platonic or romantic, I find open communication and trust to be very important. I kind of give all my relationships that same base, and then I add little flavours that I think are unique to that type of relationship. For romance, this is soft love and PDA. PDA is usually quick kisses on the cheek, holding hands, etc. The love is the type of thing where they fondly smile whenever the other does anything, really. I think that more subtle way of writing romance works decently, although I have gotten a lot of people telling me that I often also write friendships as romance, which is weird because I don’t think I do? I add a louder sort of love to friends, generally, and when they do have a quiet moment, it’s usually more serious rather than fond, and I think that’s different. But maybe I do write friendships as romance but I haven’t noticed it? Or maybe it’s amatonormativity making people read it like that?

I don’t know. I have no clue what I’m doing. Save me.

What challenges do you face as an aro-spec artist?

I can only talk about what I face as a fanfic writer, as I don’t really post my original works because I lack the platform for them. (I sometimes post stuff when there are events going on over on larger blogs than lil’ old me, but that doesn’t happen consistently enough to really be talked about.)

As a fanfic writer, well. I’m sure you’ve all heard it before: no one reads gen fic. Although I tend to have a pretty high kudos-to-hits ratio, that means nothing if you get less than 100 hits. In my case especially, as I tend to write for niche audiences, usually picking unpopular characters or friendships to write for, or writing specifically about autistic experiences. Not having the added hook of romance really hurts me in my exposure. Almost always when a story becomes kind of popular (as in it has 40+ kudos), it’s because it’s been recommended by someone with a bigger platform than me, or when I write about popular characters.

(There’s other reasons my stories don’t get popular, of course, like not knowing how to self-advertise and the fact that I have the charisma of a rock, but that’s not what this section is about.)

How do you connect to the aro-spec and a-spec communities as an aro-spec person?

Not at all, honestly? I said before I talked to some aromantic people, but that was mostly by anon asks, and the few I did actually message, well, I remade my blog so now I don’t have any contact. On top of that, the aro community (to my knowledge) doesn’t really have a central tag? Like, the autistic community has the #actuallyautistic tag, but I think the closest we have is #safeforaro, which (to my understanding) is more a reaction to discourse than anything else.

Aside from that, the aro community is really small, and mostly focused on making younger aros accept their identity. While that’s great, as someone who already has accepted their identity, it distances me a bit. And the few blogs that don’t focus on this, while absolutely lovely, are always so … sad? A large part of the aro community is depressed and bitter, worrying about losing their friends, worrying about their future. While that’s absolutely valid, I’d already moved on from that when I was younger, when I accepted the fact that because I was autistic, I would have trouble connecting and staying connected to people. It’s disheartening, sure, but I’ve accepted it and moved past it, so seeing the aro community still hung up on it saddens me. I can’t really give advice because, well, their worries are legit and they just need to come to terms with it at their own pace, and I’m bad at comforting without advice, so I’m just kind of stuck listening to it. It drains me a lot, so I distance myself.

I feel like we, as a community, can do a lot to dismantle amatonormativity, but since we still haven’t figured out what it is exactly, and we’re still grieving over the way we’re impacted by it, we’re not getting anything done. I’m bad at connecting with communities when I don’t know how to contribute to them, so I don’t really interact with it. And outside of the internet, there seems to be no aro community at all (or at least I haven’t found it), so I feel very isolated.

Wow that got real dark real fast. Sorry for being such a downer, but I did feel like it needed to be said.

How do you connect to your creative community as an aro-spec person?

…speaking of being a downer.

It’s well known that fandom isn’t a safe space for aro/ace people. It’s a very ship-centric place, to the point where it’s almost impossible to escape romance, and I hate it. I’m here because I like expanding on stories and characters and playing with established narratives, not because I want to see two people kiss. Because my wants and needs are different from most of the fandom, I tend to be isolated and unpopular, and while that’s mostly fine with me (it creates less drama), I really wish I had people to talk to.

As for being an original writer, I’ve already mentioned that I don’t post my work because I don’t have a platform. Now, granted, it’s rather difficult to create a platform as a writer, especially if you’re not that social and don’t know how to market yourself (hi), but I feel like being aro also helps to distance me. Romance is a rather large hook to any work of fiction in the publishing industry, to the point where some publishers will demand a romance subplot in your book. I write obscure things that I myself enjoy, and as a result, my stories aren’t very marketable. I doubt that I’ll ever get published, simply because I’m, well, weird.

I totally understand the publisher’s perspective of not wanting to pick up books or stories that simply won’t sell (and experience has told me that my stories will indeed never be popular), but it still saddens me. I could probably learn to write more popular stories, but I don’t want to do that, since writing for me really is about expressing myself (though I’m not judging anyone who writes popular stuff for money; we all need to eat).

So, to summarize, I’m not marketable or interesting either as a writer or as a fandom member to either communities, which isolates me, which sucks, but it also enables me to really stop giving a shit. Sounds weird, but once I figured out that I’m not gonna get published or be popular, I really felt free to do whatever I want. Because ultimately the only person that really likes my writing is me, I’ll make myself happy first and foremost. While this sounds kind of depressing, it’s actually motivated me to keep writing, and it stops me from getting too depressed or anxious when a story I post only gets a dozen or so kudos/notes, so I think that’s a positive thing. Because ultimately, to me, the most important thing about writing isn’t the community, it’s having fun and creating something new, and as long as I can do that, I’ll be happy.

How can the aro-spec community best help you as a creative?

The obvious answer is read my stories and reblog/leave kudos/comment, which is also true for every other writer, but I feel like that’s ignoring the underlying reason romance-free stuff just doesn’t get popular. The reason my stuff is unpopular isn’t because of the aro community, but because of the alloro people being more numerous and not caring.

Instead, I’m going to say that I would be helped if the aro community started focusing more on what it means to be aro, expanding on the meaning of amatonormativity, and spreading the word to allo communities. Amatonormativity is something that hurts all of us, especially fellow LGBT+ members, and I think that once more people start to realize what it is and how it’s harmful, they would try to examine their own biases and help us dismantle it. That way, gen stories will get more popular in fandom spaces, and stories without a focus on romance will have more chance of thriving in the publishing industry. It’s not a foolproof plan, and maybe I’m just too optimistic about my fellow humans, but it’s worth a shot and better than doing nothing.

Can you share with us something about your current project?

I have several current projects! My ADHD always makes me bounce dozens of ideas around in my head and start even more works, but very few of them ever get finished. However! One story I’m fairly sure I’m getting finished is an original piece about a universe in which everyone needs to buy a heart on a necklace in order to feel love. It’s an old story that I’m reworking to contain less aromisia, since I was still rather ignorant when I wrote the first draft, but I think it has a lot of potential to examine love in its entirety, and I’m super excited about it!

The only thing I don’t like about it is the incredibly melodramatic writing style I’m using; unfortunately, my writing always seems to be needlessly dramatic and I cry every time I read it because I just hate it so much. Since this is a fairly serious piece, it’s even worse than usual. I’m toying with the idea of starting a humorous and light piece to offset it, probably about an aromantic witch and her familiar who con people into buying fake love potions.

And of course, my Coffeeshop Project is always ongoing!

The Coffeeshop Project is a project I started when I badly needed to de-stress. It’s been my go-to comfort project ever since, meaning that I try not to put pressure on myself over the quality of it, and that I don’t do any research specifically for the project (although I often incorporate research that I did for other things).

The Coffeeshop Project is a series of stand-alone short stories in the same universe centred around the shenanigans of the crew of Café Nowhere, a café with a supernatural clientele. (I’m afraid I have a soft spot for supernatural shops.)

The story I wrote for the aro prompt on this blog was actually part of it! It was set a couple of years prior to the current ‘canon’, and introduces Ethan, who is now 22 and is infamous for taking down an intergalactic smuggling ring. There are more crew members, but listing them would take forever, so if anyone is interested, feel free to just ask!

Have you any forthcoming works we should look forward to? 

I have several ideas about forthcoming works that may or may not get written, including the above, a role reversal AU for Fullmetal Alchemist (for which I have to research a lot about blindness, and since I hate research but don’t want to compromise on an accurate betrayal of disability, that might never get finished – I’m sorry y’all, but I’m doing this for free and only have so many spoons), an in-progress work for Batman about magic that I just cannot seem to pace correctly, a fic with a respectful portrayal of an autistic Black Manta as a passive-aggressive middle finger to DC comics, an analysis of FMA and/or Harry Potter from an aromantic perspective, etc. But with my ADHD and my gazillion ideas it’s always a 50/50 chance that something actually gets finished, so I don’t like to promise anything.

[unitedspoonsofvulcan]

Thanks to @herequeeranduncomfortable for tagging me in this thing!

THE LAST:

Drink: very cheap, very flat champagne

Phone call: Technically my voicemail, but actually my Mom lol

Text message: A long text containing my conspiracy theory on how James Franco is an asshole who takes advantage of the gay community for the $$$ and how much I hate him

Song listened to: “Beth” performed by Kina Grannis

Time I cried: It’s been a stressful time for me lol. So like a few hours ago?

HAVE YOU:

Dated someone twice: I don’t have enough dating experience for that to even be a possibility ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Kissed someone and regretted it: I guess a little? Once when I was drunk I made out with a straight girl who I kinda disliked and was not attracted to. But I’m flattered that I was her first gay experience so it kinda levels out for me lol

Been cheated on: again, I haven’t dated enough for that

Lost someone special: not to death, but I’ve lost some close friends due to personal circumstances

Been depressed: Yeah for like ten years now lol

Gotten drunk and thrown up: ooooh yes. But I don’t let it stop me from continuing to drink lmao

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS:

Royal blue

uhhhh navy blue

black?

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

Made new friends: I’ve met one or two people I’m friendly with, but we’re not *friends* friends

Fallen out of love: no

Laughed until you cried: Probably! There’s this one story I can’t tell without absolutely losing my shit laughing, so I”m sure at very least I cried at that

Found out someone was talking about you: Yeah kinda but like I could tell what she thought about me in the looks she gave, so it wasn’t really a surprise or a secret when I heard what she told other people lol

Met someone that changed you: I haven’t had a very social year, so no. Maybe in the upcoming months though? Who knows.

Found out who your friends are: I think I already knew

Kissed someone on your fb friend list: No actually! Sadly I haven’t kissed anyone all year.

GENERAL:

How many of your fb friends do you know irl: All of them except for a handful

Any pets: At “home” I have a cat named Kitty who I’m going to get to see again very soon!!!

Do you want to change your name?: I’ve always hated my first name, but I could never come up with a fitting alternative. I’m fine with just going by my last name though.

What did you do for your last birthday: Cried a lot lol. My friend did end up making me a really nice last-minute dinner but other than that it was a really bad day tbh

What time did you wake up: sometime after 4PM. I’m on that summer sleep schedule

What were you doing at midnight last night?: Definitely on the couch. Possibly napping? If not then I was watching tv or something

Something you can’t wait for: Moving out of the state of Louisiana

One thing I wish I could change in my life: Idk I guess being more personable/less hateful would probably make my life a lot easier for me.

Listening to right now: Literally at this moment? Nothing. In general in my life? Also nothing lmao I’m just listening to the same shit I have been for years

Ever talked to a Tom?: I don’t think so

Something getting on your nerves: Kinda everything lmao I’m an easily aggravated person

Most visited website: Youtube/tumblr

Moles: Yeah I have quite a few! I’ve got some little constellations on my arm, and a really cute one on my ear. My favorite is this one between my boobs tbh

Marks: I guess the only one is the skin just below my nail on my index finger, which is permanently slightly pink and swollen form years of picking at it

Childhood dream: The only thing I specifically remember wanting as a child was “a big ball of cats”

Hair colour: Kinda dark brown

Long or short hair: Short! Although it’s a little shaggy at the moment

Do you have a crush on someone: Nah I’m aromantic

What do you like about yourself: Usually almost everything but currently nothing

Piercings?: Three in each earlobe, plus my nostril

Blood type: idk

Nickname: I don’t think I have one? I had Syrup for a short period of time when I was little

Relationship status: single

Zodiac: Capricorn

Pronouns: I don’t really care what people use for me but she/her is fine

Fave TV show: I can’t really narrow it down to one but I like Pushing Daisies, A;TLA, Over the Garden Wall for a miniseries. Maybe Star Trek DS9

Tattoos: None as of now, but I’m considering getting a Sasha Velour tattoo because I’m in love with her

Right or left hand: right, although I did try to learn to be ambidextrous when I was little. It didn’t work obviously lol

Surgery: I’ve had my wisdom teeth removed, but no real surgeries

Hair dyed a different colour: I died my hair black during my goth days, and for a short while I had blue streaks in it

Sport: lol no

Vacation: I’d love one to anywhere, but probably won’t be going on one for quite a while

Pairs of trainers: I have two pairs of cheap sneakers. One is for looking cute and makes me a little taller. The other is for comfort so they get worn a lot more

MORE GENERAL:

Eating: I’m really picky about condiments I guess. Like I think they put too much sauce on almost everything that has sauce on it. I also I hate the texture of mushrooms

Drinking: I used to be really into New Amsterdam Red Berry vodka, but the smell and taste have started to make me sick. Lately I’ve been drinking cheap white rum instead.

I’m about to: Probably watch another movie and/or try to find a relaxing game

Waiting for: A good job, a workable living situation. Possible therapy? Hopefully medication

Want: To not live alone or with my family

Get married: Idk I don’t necessarily believe in romance but I like the idea of having a life partner and tax breaks. So I guess I’d like to get married but I don’t necessarily see it in my future

Career: death

Lips or eyes: idk not to be That Person but I’m usually just attracted to people who are nice lol

Shorter or taller: my height or close too. Significant height differences would cause inconveniences

Older or younger: Older with lots of money to share with me

Nice arms or nice stomach: again for me it’s mostly about personality. Although I do enjoy Muscle Girls and usually their arms are more visible

Sensitive or loud: I don’t think that these are mutually exclusive. But loudness does make me nervous

Hook up or relationship: I guess relationship but either would be nice

Troublemaker or hesitant: Hesitant I guess?

HAVE YOU EVER:

Kissed a stranger: Not a stranger, but people I barely knew

Drank hard liquor: yes lots

Lost glasses/ contacts: Yes!! The reason I stopped wearing my glasses was because I lost my favorite pair. I think I lost them in ecology class one day so they’re probably in a literal ditch on the side of the road somewhere

Turned someone down: Only once directly in the fifth grade, but I’ve also ghosted a few people

Sex on the first date: no

Broken someone’s heart: nope

Had your heart broken: no

Been arrested: nah

Cried when someone died: Yeah my literal grandpa and then my space grandpa (Leonard Nimoy). Probably other celebs too. I’m an emotional bitch

Fallen for a friend: -ish? I used to convince myself I had feelings for my friends. I was deep in denial but even at the time I knew it was bullshit

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

Yourself: Depends on what it’s in relation to. I know I’m smart but I’m also very lazy so I’m useless at go-getter-type activities

Miracles: Very unlikely coincidences are bound to happen sometimes

Love at first sight: Bruh I don’t really even believe in regular love

Santa: Welp I’m an adult so no

Kiss on the first date: If I ever go on a date we’d better bone down immediately

Angels: I’m a pretty strict skeptic, so no

OTHER:

Current best friends names: All of my friends are the best! I don’t want to have to pick lol

Eye colour: brown

Fave movie: Uhhh maybe But I’m a Cheerleader or Hard Candy or something. That’s another hard one to narrow down though

And yeah that was fun! It’s been a while since I got tagged in anything interactive lol. I’m going to tag @marlar and @smolsweetpotato, and @inthemirrordorkly. Plus anyone else who wants to participate :)