#i promised myself when i was a teenager that i would never forget what it feels like when i grow up

[sunsoak]

People give teenagers so much shit well i think they’re a lot more respectful and smart than you give them credit for. They can tell when you’re being fake or dishonest or don’t care about their problems, and that’s why they don’t respect you, because they know you don’t respect them either! It’s the biggest thing adults just seem to overlook when interacting with teens… like these are human people learning how to navigate an entirely new world of independence and responsibility and they’re having feelings that are so fucking big and it’s really a lot to deal with. And you just treat them like either stupid immature adults or overgrown children, and not the extremely difficult in-between they actually are…

[prettypumpum]

Title: Crossed Dimensions I Logan Howlett x Reader

Summary: You were living an ordinary life until the day a portal throws you into the Marvel universe. Trapped between an unbearable Deadpool and a Wolverine as troubling as he is charming, you discover powers you didn't know you had and an unknown past with certain heroes. As your anxiety grows in the face of this new reality, will you be able to find your place and perhaps become the hero they need?

Warnings: strong language, mentions of violence,

Word count: 1,031

"I'll be back on Monday! No funny business, no parties, and the pizza money is in the drawer by the hallway!" Wade shouted, slamming the car door before walking away.

"Finally," Logan muttered, his gaze still fixed on the windshield, his face impassive.

I glanced at Laura in the rearview mirror. Even if he'd never admit it, Logan enjoyed Wade and his antics in his own way.

"So, how’s it going at the Institute?" I asked Laura, hoping to break the heavy silence.

“It’s fine,” she replied, stopping at a red light, her eyes glued to the road.

Logan eventually broke the silence, almost reluctantly. “It’s a good place. They can help you settle in.”

“You guys are welcome too,” she retorted as the light turned green. “They could help you with your powers. Besides, they’re short-staffed. They could use someone to handle a bunch of teens… especially teens with superpowers,” she added, casting a pointed look at Logan.

He clenched his jaw. “That’s all behind me.”

In the rearview mirror, I saw Laura’s face fall slightly, as if she regretted bringing it up. A bitter silence settled, heavy with memories. I knew that as soon as we got dropped off, Logan would probably head straight to a bar to forget.

“How about we order a pizza?” I suggested to the two mutants in the front, hoping to lighten the mood.

They glanced back at me in the mirror, a fleeting smile on their faces.

A few hours later, we were all sprawled out on the couch, surrounded by pizza boxes scattered on the coffee table.

“Comedy or horror?” Laura asked, the remote in one hand and a slice of pineapple pizza in the other.

“Put on whatever you want,” Logan replied, cracking open another beer.

She looked at me for my opinion, and I just shrugged with a smile, content with the relaxed vibe. She scrolled through the options on the screen. Beside me, Logan was relaxed, his dark eyes fixed on the TV. The white T-shirt he was wearing suited him surprisingly well, and I could feel his arm brushing against mine, an innocent but electrifying touch.

With each quick glance at him, memories of the bar came back to me, and I found myself imagining what might have happened if Wade hadn’t interrupted us. These thoughts wrapped me in a warm haze.

Finally, Laura settled on a horror movie. *Scream*, a classic, perfect for a pizza night. But I was having a hard time focusing. My attention kept drifting back to Logan, sitting so close.

“These kids are so stupid,” Logan muttered, taking a swig of his beer.

“That’s what everyone says watching horror movies, but I’m not sure teenage me would’ve done any better,” I replied, grabbing another slice of pizza. “Between rehearsals and dance classes, I barely had time to sleep. Killing someone… well, that was even less likely.”

He smirked. “That explains so much.”

"Right? So, tell us about teenage you in Canada, back when there was no electricity or running water," I teased with a playful smile.

Laura was watching us, a smile on her face, finding our exchange more interesting than the movie. Logan and I exchanged a few knowing smiles before she stood up.

“I’m gonna grab a soda,” she said, slipping into the kitchen and leaving us alone in this intimate moment.

"She’s great," I said, watching the door she had just disappeared through.

“Yeah,” he replied, his face hardening, his thoughts clearly elsewhere.

“Hey,” I said, placing my hand on his, reminding him of our promise from the bar.

He looked up at me, surprised. “I’m okay,” he murmured. “But… sometimes, it all just gets to be too much.”

I nodded, feeling the depth of his unease.

“I know.” My thumb brushed his hand softly. His gaze, dark and intense, held secrets he dared not share.

I looked up, and our eyes met. His usually guarded stare softened, revealing fatigue and invisible scars. He broke the silence, his voice low:

“It’s rare… to feel this good.”

He squeezed my hand gently, as if to reassure himself that this moment was real.

Our gazes locked, the silence between us loaded with unspoken emotions. I felt almost trembling under his look. Logan, usually so distant, was looking at me differently, with a glimmer I’d never noticed before.

“Hey,” Laura said, coming back from the kitchen and breaking the spell between Logan and me. “Sorry, but I have to go,” she announced, holding up her phone.

“Everything okay?” Logan asked, his face concerned.

“Yeah, I totally forgot my friend Taylor was supposed to help me with my shopping.”

Logan nodded with a murmur, but his skepticism was clear. “Take some pizza with you; there’s too much for the two of us,” I said, quickly getting up to pack some for her.

“Thanks,” she said, grabbing the boxes. “Tonight was fun… we should do it again sometime.” I nodded, smiling, holding the door open for her as she struggled with the boxes. “See you soon.”

Logan and I, now alone, stood there, our eyes fixed on the closed door for a moment. “That was a lie, right?” Logan asked.

“You never lied to go see your crush?” I shot back with a mischievous smile.

“So, you were one of those bad girls who lied to mess with boys?” he replied, his intense gaze locked onto mine.

My breathing quickened, my body warming. My breath was short; I wanted nothing more than to throw myself at him and kiss him.

“I… I need to go to the laundry room,” I said, unable to hold his gaze any longer, using the excuse of a basket of dirty laundry left out.

He nodded, seeming to collect himself, and watched me pick up the basket as I fled. “I’ll take a shower,” he said as I darted out of the apartment.

When I got to the hallway, I realized I’d forgotten the detergent in my hurry. Returning to the apartment, I walked straight into Logan, shirtless, coming out of the bathroom.

“Sorry… I forgot the…” I was unable to look away from his hairy chest and toned muscles.

[poohsources]

🐝  *  ―  𝑰𝑻'𝑺 𝑵𝑶𝑻 𝑨 𝑷𝑯𝑨𝑺𝑬, 𝑴𝑶𝑴. ( a random assortment of various lyrics from emo songs. feel free to change pronouns if needed. )

❛  i know you well enough to know you never loved me.  ❜ ❛  i am finished with you.  ❜ ❛  you were the last good thing about this part of town.  ❜ ❛  so don't go worrying about me, it's not like i think about you constantly.  ❜ ❛  do you feel like a man when you push her around? do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?  ❜ ❛  take back everything you ever said, you never meant a word for it.  ❜ ❛  i'm glad i didn't die before i met you.  ❜ ❛  say anything, but say what you mean.  ❜ ❛  what the hell is wrong with me? my friends say i should act my age.  ❜ ❛  it's no surprise to me, i am my own worst enemy.  ❜ ❛  i'm sick of the things i do when i'm nervous, like cleaning the oven or checking my tires or counting the number of tiles on the ceiling.  ❜ ❛  well, you treat me just like another stranger.  ❜ ❛  but i don't wanna feel a thing anymore.  ❜ ❛  doesn't it feel like your time is running out?  ❜ ❛  i don't blame you for being you but you can't blame me for hating it.  ❜ ❛  and up until now, i have sworn to myself that i'm content with loneliness.  ❜ ❛  i'll keep you my dirty little secret. don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret.  ❜ ❛  and all the times you promised me that everything would work out in the end, you were gravely mistaken.  ❜ ❛  thanks for the memories even though they weren't so great.  ❜ ❛  i never thought we'd make it out alive.  ❜ ❛  i know somewhere, somehow we'll be together.  ❜ ❛  honestly? honestly, i can't remember all my teenage feelings. and the meanings.  ❜ ❛  the more i try, the more i lose.  ❜ ❛  why can't i feel anything from anyone other than you?  ❜ ❛  second chances they don't ever matter, people never change.  ❜ ❛  and the hardest part is letting go of the nights we shared.  ❜ ❛  you contradict the fact that you still want me around.  ❜ ❛  don't ever look back. they'll tear us apart if you give them the chance.  ❜ ❛  you don't know what it's like to be like me.  ❜ ❛  i kept my word when i swore that i would let you down.  ❜ ❛  so let's just pretend everything and anything between you and me was never meant.  ❜ ❛  and i fell for the promise of a life with purpose. but i know that's impossible now.  ❜ ❛  glad the future didn't fail you like it failed me.  ❜ ❛  but i wish that i'd never met a lot of the people that i've met. not because i don't like them but because i only let them down.  ❜ ❛  don't waste your time on me, you're already the voice inside my head.  ❜ ❛  can we pretend to leave and then we'll meet again.  ❜ ❛  let's just forget everything we said and everything we did.  ❜ ❛  i don't want to waste my time, become another casualty of society.  ❜ ❛  so i told her i loved her, and she told me she loved me. and i mostly believed her and she mostly believed me.  ❜ ❛  the truth is you could slit my throat, and with my one last gasping breath i'd apologize for bleeding on your shirt.  ❜

[starglow-xx]

— Oh Baby!

part 2! - a solution? sure, let’s call it that

heartslabyul & savanaclaw x f! reader

synopsis: when the boys of heartslabyul and savanaclaw get turned to kids, who else is supposed to take of them except their beloved prefect? go figure. damn you crowley. oh, and you too grim.

fandom: twisted wonderland

type of work: part of mini series! : “Oh Baby!” ; written segment, fluff / platonic themes, comedy? ; check out pt. 1 here!

warnings: a stressed prefect pt. 2, unedited

a/n: YALL it’s been a year since i posted the first part to this and obviously since then i’ve completed the books for octavinelle, scarabia, and pomefiore, so maybe they’ll have future appearances later hehe but no promises

“you’re telling me you don’t know how to fix this?!” you whisper yelled.

“that’s what i said was it not?”

you wanted to scream in frustration at the headmaster but refrained yourself from doing so as your newly turned baby friends were oh so peacefully playing in the common room as you and crowley talked in the kitchen, and didn’t want to draw attention.

“loosey duecey! loosey duecey! loosey duecey! loosey duecey!”

“shut up!”

maybe peacefully was too good of a word in this situation.

“WELL THEN! it seems that i am no longer needed so i will take my leave—”

“get the hell back here for seven’s sake! and didn’t i tell you to keep your voice down?!”

“but—”

“shut up! if you won’t help me solve my problem then don’t speak at all!” you continued to whisper yell.

“...”

“seriously?!”

with strength that you usually save for rounding up ace, deuce, and grim (on normal circumstances), you grab the stupid headmaster by the back of his cloak thing as he turns away from you to make his escape.

“oh no you don’t!”

the bird for brains had the audacity to sigh at you like he was the one inconvenienced with 8 children. 8 actual children.

“ms. prefect, you must understand, that despite how gracious i am, i simply do not have time for—”

“i’ll go on strike if you don’t help me!”

“...come again?”

you sweatdrop as you let go of his cloak. you didn’t really think the whole thing through, it kind of just came out of you mouth, but it seemed to get his attention so you’re going to have to role with it dammit.

“t-that’s right!”

you cursed in your head slightly as you stammer. there’s no turning back!

“i’ll for once since i’ve gotten here be an normal student! so that means no cleaning after your messes, doing chores that shouldn’t be my responsibility, fighting stupid overblots blah blah blah, you get the picture?”, you threaten.

crowley is silent as he contemplates your words.

“and no, holding housing or allowance over my head is not going to work, because i will literally get myself adopted by another dorm or so help me.”

at that, crowley sighs once again, but this time in defeat at the teenage girl in front of him.

“all right, i’ll go work with the staff to try and figure something out.”

phew.

“however!”

god dammit you can never win can you.

crowley with a stern voice as he wags one of his fingers shatters your hopes and dreams with a simple, “the children must stay here!”

you couldn’t believe your ears, and started to yell, forgetting about whisper yelling.

“what?! why?! i’m asking for help with them because i can’t handle it!”

he simply raises an eyebrow at you.

“do you think it’ll be beneficial and efficient to have the children running around potions and stacks of books while we try and find their cure?”

you sigh, disappointed but not surprised at his rebuttal.

“...no sir”

“great! i guess we’re on the same page after all! i wish you the best of luck prefect, for i am gracious.”

you deadpan.

“right of course. whatever would i do without your help headmaster”

“oh you’d probably perish!”

“that was sarcasm”

ignoring your retort, the man dramatically swished his coat cape thing nearly whacking you in the face (you’re 98% sure it was on purpose) as you feel a migraine start coming on, and the you 15 minutes ago wouldn’t believe it wasn’t because of the children.

after a deep sigh, you follow after crowley reentering what grim dubbed as the “danger zone” only to catch the evasive headmaster walk out the door and shut it behind them.

from where you’re standing, you hear grim, who’s awake now, but still lying on the floor, mumble something along the lines of “useless” and you couldn’t agree more.

you eye the handful of children running around and yelling at each other.

oh great seven, this is going to be one hell of a migraine.

i love their shenanigans <33

as always, reblogs and shares are appreciated! i hope you all stay safe! and just in case nobody told you they loved you today, i love you! you are enough! <3

writing belongs to me! please do not plagiarize, repost, or translate on here or any other sites!

[tonowaritrash]

i can’t remember to forget you

hope you guys like hurt/comfort and pain and suffering.

this ended differently than what i had originally planned. it was supposed to end with tonowari never having gone into reader’s marui , and in my mind that’s still the true ending.

pairing: tonowari x reader

tags: hurt/comfort, oral (fem receiving), p in v sex

minors dni

if there was one thing you understood about the universe it was that you could count on patterns. that no matter how unknown the sea beyond the reef of your home was, you could count on the fundamentals still running their course. you could always count of eclipse ending each night, you could always count on the seasons to cycle through the year, you could always count on the stars telling you where to go. the world may change around you but its core mechanics stayed the same, and that brought you comfort each night.

you wanted to explore, and you’d always told your parents every time you ventured a little too far into the ocean or a little too deep in forest that there was nothing to be afraid of. you knew that if things were unfamiliar you could still count on what you knew. that the fundamentals never changed. perhaps they shifted, but never changed completely. night would turn to day, the stars would stay the same and you would always be able to find your way home.

so when tonowari had taken your hand with a promise adventure to a place beyond the reef, you were more than willing to follow. you were all blushes and giggles and your ilu whistled as though it sensed your excitement. maybe it did, you’d like to think so.

eclipse was approaching when the two of you finally arrived at a lush island about 30 minutes away. it was small but there was a hill in the middle with a large waterfall that was protected by a thick forest and a carpet of flowers. it was more than you’d ever expected.

“i wanted to take you somewhere special,” he said softly, though he was a bit nervous.

“it’s beautiful,” you breathed. “wari, i love it.”

he smiled. “i’m glad. this will make things easier.”

you gave him a curious look but noticed that he was rummaging in his pouch before he took out a string of shells. you gasped.

“i know we’re still young, and my father says it’s too soon to choose a tsahik but…you’re the only one i can see myself being with. it’s not an official necklace, but it’s a promise. for our future. i-”

you kissed him with enthusiasm and he staggered only for moment in surprise before melting into it. he smiled against your lips and when you broke apart he helped clip the necklace into place.

it was a promise. a vow. that his love for you was as reliable as the world around you. that it became a fundamental truth of the universe. just as day would always come and the seasons would always change. he would love you.

that was 10 years ago.

you were so young, so naive back then as teenagers are wont to be. what nobody had told you was that fundamental truths could change, that sometimes the world you knew could become one you didn’t recognise. that people could fall from the sky and take everything. and that promises could be broken.

you were told you would heal after the news broke five years ago. that wounds that were within your heart took time. and you did heal. you were able to leave your marui and contribute to the clan. you could hunt just as well as your peers, and it only took a few months for their pitied looks to disappear. you were able to find a few other men who would court you, though none of them managed to stick around long. it began to get easier when the seasons bled into one another.

you had healed. truly. and you were happy. you had friends who loved you, a clan who took care of you, a whole world that excited you. who wouldn’t be happy?

that’s what you asked yourself as eclipse enveloped your marui and you lit your candles. their fire licked into the warm night as you arranged them, carefully putting them on whatever surfaces you had while humming. you shook out the match you’d made to snuff out its light, but your hand knocked a box off of one the surfaces in the room which caused it tumble to the floor with a mighty crash.

you swore as you picked it up, as it had been given to you by your mother who’d carved an ilu into its side. it held various things you’d found on your adventures: shells, pearls, pebbles and feathers among them. they each had a memory attached.

you noticed that something else that seemed to be a shell had fallen a bit farther and was under a table. you walked up to it and knelt down to grab it, the light too dim to make it out while it was on the floor. luckily it was withing arm’s reach so you pulled it towards you, puzzled by how it seemed to be attached to other things.

as you pulled it toward yourself, however, you felt a familiar dread creeping up your spine. it shook you, but despite your mind wanting to leave it alone, your body seemed to operate on its own.

when it was in full view in front of you, though, you froze. it was a necklace, all too familiar to you with turquoise beads and shells the seemed to glint under the candles’ glow. it was the necklace tonowari had made for you ten years ago, the necklace you wore for years before your world came crashing down on you.

your breath hitched and you could feel the tears starting to fall. this was not how it was supposed to be. you had made peace with everything. you were supposed to have forgotten about him, you even talked to him on occasion when you saw him around.

but you knew the truth, deep down. that every night you thought about him, about what could have been. the thoughts were fleeting but they never went away, as constant as the seasons, your own little fundamental truth. one you tried to reject.

you took in a shaky breath and stood up, walking out of your marui with the necklace in hand. it had to go. you couldn’t hold on to it anymore. you would return it to the sea and let the waves swallow the shells. let eywa deal with it as she saw fit.

the waves lapped at your feet as you looked into the ocean, a familiar sensation. your heart thumped like a drum and your clenched fists hurt as you raised your arm to throw it.

let eywa take it.

you were happy.

you moved on.

you’d forgotten about him.

you…

your hand stilled in the air. the water crashed into itself ahead as the breeze blew you hair in each direction.

sighing, you brought your hand down and turned, stalking back to your marui with the necklace still in your fist. the air that once was refreshing now brought a chill and the previously comforting waves seemed to roar in your ears. the world you’d carefully constructed came crashing down around you in one fell swoop.

you’d never forgotten him. you couldn’t remember to forget him. the necklace was all the proof you’d needed.

it was a necklace of empty vows and broken promises. that love could never be a fundamental truth and that everything you thought you knew could change in an instant.

-0O0-

tonowari fell into a routine.

rise with the day, help his father in the early mornings to prepare for the tasks ahead, assign fishing spots, send out hunting parties of necessary, return home to ronal and attend to her needs then sleep only to do it all over again.

it was monotonous but he drowned himself in it. it kept his mind occupied enough that it rarely wandered and he could stay on task.

but every so often he would see a glimpse of your hair, hear your giggles wafting through the crowd, smell the scent of flowers that you’d kept in your marui and reality would strike him.

in the day he longed to touch you and at night his heart ached for you. he couldn’t seem to forget you.

it wasn’t fair. he’d done everything right, became a capable fisherman that the clan could rely on, served the people just as his father had taught him and then some. he would be olo’eyktan and yet…

he got out of bed, his mind too restless to fall asleep. the world outside of his marui was dark and the sand beneath his feet crunched.

eywa was mysterious in her ways, but was there no justice in this world? a fundamental truth he had held dear as a child was that the good would be rewarded for their efforts, that karma would come around. and yet here he was, a broken man on the inside.

the waves rippled along the shore and he let them surround his feet. the water was cool and he could see a few crabs burrowing themselves into the tide pools. the night was peaceful.

he caught a glimpse of someone a little ways down the coast, a fellow clan member. she looked like she was throwing something bud from this distance it was difficult to ascertain what. curious, he walked closer as it was a strange hour to go about.

after a while she became more visible as she turned to walk back to her marui. he stopped as he realised who it was, blood running cold.

you were holding onto something and you wiped your hand across your eyes as if you’d been crying. he always hated it when you cried. he took a step forward with arm stretched out, a subconscious reaction from years ago, before he stepped on a stick.

you were about to slip back into your home when you turned at the sound. your eyes landed on tonowari who was obscured by a few rocks and you froze.

both of you stared at each other for what felt like hours. tonowari’s heart was racing as his mind filled with a multitude of thoughts that he’d suppressed for years.

“wari?” he heard you whisper.

he staggered forward, nearly collapsing at the old nickname. as though you were a magnet, you took a step too.

“what’re you doing up so late?” you asked.

tonowari’s mouth grew dry. “i could ask you the same thing.”

“i…” you looked down at your hand and tonowari looked as well. there in your hand was the necklace he’d made all those years ago. his heart tumbled.

“i couldn’t seem to let it go,” you said with a humorless chuckle.

you’d held on to it all this time? but…it seemed you were going to throw it into the sea just now. “i thought you’d moved on.”

“so had i,” you replied.

he took another step closer, now he could touch you if he reached out. you were so close but it seemed like you were worlds apart. the last five years…they really took a toll on you.

it wasn’t fair at all. none of this was. future olo’eyktan or not, there was nothing just about how things were. eywa help him.

“i still think about you,” he admitted, despite himself.

“wari…”

“i do. about what we had before i—” he stopped and sucked in his breath. “this wasn’t what i wanted.”

you avoided his gaze and rubbed the back of your neck. this damn necklace. if you hadn’t found it tonight of all nights you wouldn’t be feeling this way.

“you have a duty,” you reminded him. “you’ll be olo’eyktan soon.”

“i know.” he hesitated for a moment before he placed a tentative hand on your shoulder. he felt you tense but you relaxed under the familiar gesture.

“you have to focus on what’s important.”

tonowari frowned at this. all this talk about duty and what was important…it saddened him. “you’re important.”

“the clan is important. you should know that more than anything.”

“i do, but…” he sighed. “it should never have been like this. i made a promise.”

“a promise that wasn’t yours to make.”

the words cut through him like a knife. they shattered him.

“a cruel fate that an olo’eyktan can’t even choose who to give his own love to,” he said with ice. “a bitter irony that i am powerless in the matter that i care for the most. if i’d known—”

“would it have made a difference to the betrothal if you had?”

there it was. the word he despised. the word that had plagued him for five years. plagued you both.

you stepped back, out of the warmth of his palm. the necklace felt like ice in your hand and you breathed in a shaky breath.

“ronal and i…we haven’t mated,” he said softly. “i told her that i wanted to take things slow but i think she suspects there is another reason.”

you bit your lip. “why are you telling me this?”

“i still love you. i can’t seem to remember to stop loving you. i keep…”

“i keep forgetting i should let you go,” you finished softly.

there was a silence between the two of you. the pounding of your heart reverberated throughout your body and you thought it would punch itself out.

“i wish things were different.”

you paused for a moment before reaching out and giving tonowari the necklace that haunted you. you curled his fingers around it securely and gave his fist a soft kiss.

“for what it’s worth,” you said, “i still love you too.”

you gave his hand a final pat and detracted. tonowari held onto it firmly, fighting tears that threatened to fall.

he hadn’t known what to expect when he spoke to you. perhaps he’d thought that things would change, but as you walked back into your candle lit marui he could feel a lone, hot tear fall down his face.

you were right, ultimately. he had a duty to his people. it was best to move on. he knew this. and yet…

and yet as he watched the candles flicker out one by one he couldn’t help but think about how unfair it all was again.

he gripped the necklace tightly as it seemed to burn through his hand. all the pain and hurt and love it contained resonated through him.

to hell with duty.

“eywa, forgive me,” he muttered before walking into your marui.

you turned at the intrusion after snuffing out the last candle, surprised at tonowari’s large form towering behind you suddenly. you’d forgotten just how large he was as he didn’t like to use his size to intimidate others. but right now it seemed liked he took up the majority of your marui.

“wari, what’re you—”

his kiss surprised you into silence. melding his lips with yours you kissed him back almost immediately out of a habit still embedded within you despite years of being apart. it was desperate and hungry, with you frantically grabbing everywhere you could, feeling him.

he picked you up and manoeuvred you onto the table, the sound of displaced objects clattering around you. you didn’t care. his touch quenched your burning desire for him and you drank him in eagerly.

he kissed your neck, remembering exactly where you needed him most. everywhere his lips touched you burned and you panted, swallowing down a moan as he bit you gently.

tonowari shrugged off his clothes and helped you out of yours. he took one of your breasts in his hand and kissing it. you whined as pleasure bloomed from your most sensitive parts.

he moved down to your thighs and you shivered as he held your hand, fingers interlocking with each other. your entire body seemed to burn with a desire for him and your cunt was already soaking by the time he gave your bud a tentative lick. you choked down a sob from how good it felt.

tonowari moaned as he tasted you, and pressed himself into you like he couldn’t get enough. as though he needed this as much as you did. and you firmly believe he did.

you knew you were a goner as soon as he put two of his thick fingers inside of you and it didn’t take you long before you came, crying his name.

he smiled and stood to kiss you gently. you wrapped your arms around him and pulled him as close as you could. you wanted him everywhere. you wanted to drown in him.

tonowari gripped one of your thighs and pushed it back, opening you up to him. you were dripping onto your table, legs quivering from the stimulation.

you felt his weighty cock teasing your entrance. it slid up you slick cunt deliciously and you whined. tonowari chuckled before lining it up and pushing in.

he moaned a little as he stretched your walls and kissed you as you begged him to go deeper. his cock rubbed against you in exactly the right places and you shivered as you felt it rub against your walls. you’d forgotten how incredible it felt to have him inside you like this.

when he bottomed out he paused and you both panted as you held on to him. he chuckled as he looked down at where the two you connected.

“i’ve been thinking about this every day for five years,” he muttered before he cradled your face gently.

you kissed him but this time it was slow and full of passion. you kissed him with all the love you’d held for five years. you’d kissed him with all the pain you’d tried to ignore. and he returned it in kind.

he started moving again and your fingers dug into his back which made him hiss softly. you moved your hips with him as your walls gripped onto him hungrily as he softly encouraged you.

you lost yourselves in each each other in a mess of groans and pants. the grip of your fingers seemed to spur him on as he grit his teeth and thrusted into you with wild abandon.

when you came again you swore you saw eywa herself as the pleasure washed over you. tonowari kissed you everywhere he could, breath hitching as your walls tightened around him. you wrapped your arms around him as your hips still moved against his, selfishly not wanting it to end.

he hoisted you up again and placed you on the floor before moving your legs over his shoulders. your back arched at how deep he was at this angle and you pleaded with him through pleasured sobs.

tonowari nuzzled into your neck, his breath fanning agains you. a deep rumble resonated within him that you could only describe as a growl as he nicked at a sensitive spot on your neck.

your breath hitched, but as you realised what he was doing he bit down hard and a burst of pleasure resonated through you one final time.

he came with you with two sharp thrusts as he said your name under his breath. a shudder rocked through him as his orgasm waned and you couldn’t help but marvel at how his eyes were shut tight, how a bead of sweat rolled down his torso. he was beautiful.

when he rolled next to you to catch his breath his hand grabbed yours again and he kissed it.

your other hand brushed against the mark on your neck as the severity of what he had done caught up with you.

he inspected it with worried eyes, probably worried he’d harmed you, but the mark was fine. it felt good, really.

he reached behind him and you watched in stunned shock as he grabbed his queue.

“tsahaylu? here? now?” you asked. “are you serious?”

he nodded. “i can’t mate with ronal if i’m already mated with someone else.”

you gave him a disapproving glance and sat up. “tonowari, you have—”

“—a duty, yes. but you’re just as important to me as the clan. if being olo’eyktan means throwing away our life and happiness together, then perhaps i am not meant to be olo’eyktan at all.”

“you would sacrifice everything you’ve ever wanted — your whole life — to be with me?”

he placed a reassuring hand on your hip and pressed his forehead against yours. “everything i’ve ever wanted is right here in front of me. my whole life…it’s you.” he paused and chuckled. “i suppose you could say that’s my fundamental truth.”

you giggled at his teasing words before grabbing your own queue. the weight of what was to happen was not lost on you and you looked up at him again.

tonowari nodded and with his unworried reassurance the tendrils of your queue connected.

it was so overwhelming you thought you would drown. there were so many memories and emotions, all so powerful. and you saw yourself through him. you saw yourself ten years ago when he first gave you the necklace, you saw yourself laughing, you saw yourself crying, and you felt the pain the last five years brought him.

most of all you felt love. deep and pure. but never faltering. not for a moment. he truly loved you as he said.

you didn’t know you were crying until you felt his hands wiping your tears. he hugged you tightly and you pressed yourself against his chest, feeling his body shudder around you. it was then you realised that he was crying too. and because you were still connected you knew it was for everything. for the pain, for love, for happiness.

and for relief.

“never again,” he whispered, his voice trembling slightly. “eywa herself would have to take you away from me.”

you closed your eyes at his reassuring words. briefly you wondered about what would happen the next day, about what clan would say. only briefly. because you knew what was true. that you would always love each other.that was something you could count on.

[iris0-0]

I promise I’m here.

Mom!Tess Servopoulos x sh!daughter reader

Synopsis: Tess, your mother has always given you tough love. Trying to raise you to be respectful and grateful. Though when hard times fall upon you, you cannot seem to tell your mother as you feel she will see you as weak and pathetic.

Warnings: Tess being soft, reader is referred to in more female pronouns, blood, mentions of depression, mentions and descriptions of self harm, I do not encourage this behavior and am here for anyone <3 this is definitely not personal

✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿

Familiar sounding music invaded the current deep sleep you were in. Eyes fluttering open, before quickly closing them due to the early morning light invading through the blinds.

The door opens and you feel a harsh pat on your back, “Cmon kid, gotta catch the bus.” Tess says, making sure you’re awake before leaving the room.

Getting up you looked at the old digital clock on the nightstand that read 6:40 a.m. Fuck. If you didn’t pick up the pace there would be another tardy slip with your name on it, and with that a scold from your mother.

Grabbing whatever pants were on the desk chair and a shirt you grab the same black zip-up jacket you took everyday…to hide the scars. Thankfully your mother Tess wasn’t very noisy as long as you didn’t give any “teenage attitude” was what she liked to call it. So she never really picked up on your habits

Self-harm wasn’t something you were proud of. It started 3 years ago when you were 13. Middle school was an absolute bitch, not to mention the other struggles that have happened in the meantime. You tried to get clean….but it never lasted long, it was a tough battle.

Slipping on the jacket and grabbing your book bag you go down the stairs to grab a banana or some shit to say you ate breakfast. Tess was brewing a cup of coffee before she herself was off to work. She eyed you up and down a bit before smirking to herself. Annoyed you give her a look that basically said ‘what?’.

“When’s the last time you washed that jacket?” She asked. “You were it practically everyday.” Walking towards you she tried to get closer to at least make sure it smelled clean, as teenagers could be lazy or dirty sometimes.

Not wanting her to move the jacket in case of any risk of exposing what was below you responded in a bantering manner to try and keep up your cool act. “Mom! Stop it! I washed it this week.” You smile dodging her grasp and walking to the door to catch the bus.

“If you say so.” She shrugs. “Go learn and shit.”

✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿

School. Highschool sophomore to be specific. Grades weren’t that much of a problem, you were told you were ‘a smart kid’. Having average level classes and a work ethic (sometimes) helped. It wasn’t the work, it was the people.

Once again for English there was a project. Why do English teachers have a project nobody likes every week? Everyone got up and looked around to choose partners…nobody chose you. Shocker. ‘Okay, who cares? I’ll do it myself as usual.’ You thought.

But of course it wasn’t okay. Depression shuffled your mind again replaying old scenarios and listing reasons why none of the other kids wanted to work with you.

Putting headphones on and shuffling random shit, mainly tv girl you got to work and try to forget but to no avail. Taking a break in the middle to go to the bathroom.

Always keeping a blade handy you sit in the bathroom stall. ‘Why am I doing this again? Don’t really know don’t really care.’ You think.

Taking the jacket off halfway the view of the old and fresh marks come into place. It was never enough. Addicted was the word, but it’s perfectly fine isn’t it?

‘Doing what I do best.’ Sliding the blade like it was a damn hobby. Did it sting? Maybe a little but the relief was too strong, it overpowered any pain. That was, until you zoned out. Going deeper, was it intentional? Who knows.

Hitting a vein blood trickled down, quicker than the cuts before that would stop bleeding soon. There was too much. And of course depression comes with anxiety. How come you were fine mutilating yourself but the moment you got dizzy all hell broke loose. I need to get out.

Quickly thinking of an excuse out of habit you called the only person you had, your mom. Were you dying of blood loss? Hell no. But you were on the verge of passing out and eating shit on the schools bathroom floor.

The phone rang a few times.

“Please..please..please.” You mutter.

T: “Hello? Im in a meeting did you butt dial me again?” Your mom Tess says, a bit confused.

“I need you to pick me up, please.”

T: “Kid, I’m in the middle of a meeting.” She sighs, though she hears the panic in your voice. “If it means that much to ya I’ll getchu right after, in maybe half an hour?”

“Okay.” You respond swallowing your tears.

T: “You cryin kid?” She asks suddenly concerned.

“No.” You deny, and you can hear her sigh from the other end.

T: “I’ll get you in a bit.” She said sternly.

✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿

About a half an hour passed. The bleeding was under control but you were weak as hell. Loosing blood was no joke, dizzy and nauseating to say the least. ‘I think I just lost more blood than a period.’ You thought.

A text from your mom saying she’s here and you signed out at the front office, slightly swaying in your steps as you walk the short walk from the front of the school to the car.

Tess was sitting, hand on the steering wheel. The glint from the sun shining just over the scar under her eye. You couldn’t read her face. Was she pissed about picking you up two hours into the school day and about you interrupting her meeting. Regardless you opened the car door.

“Thank you.” Was the only thing spoken and Tess nodded to the action keeping her eyes forward as she drove the two of you home.

Walking in the house Tess put up her keys. You tried to sneak upstairs. “Nope. Come back.” Tess said sternly before pointing to the couch. “Sit.”

Annoyed but not trying to test your mother, you sat your ass back down. “Tell me why I picked you up.” She asked and you just shrugged looking at the floor.

“That’s not an answer and you know it. I love you and I’m trying not to be upset with you but kid, I need to know. You called me in the middle of a meeting you knew I was in crying.” Tess said, a bit stern.

“It doesn’t even matter.” You say a bit annoyed at the persistence and not having an answer to the question that you wanted to tell her.

“Look at me.” She says, as you look straight at the ground. “I just didn’t feel good.” You say looking her in the eye, it was hard. She had the type of eyes that made you spill everything.

Staring felt like forever her eyes narrowing, until your left eye twitched. “You’re lying.” She says crossing her arms over her chest. “No I’m not.” Your eye twitches again, betraying you.

“Yes you are! Your eye is twitching like Nemo’s fucking special fin.” Tess responded. “How the hell would you even know if I was lying? You’re always gone!”

“Language! I’m gone providing for you!” The two of you yelled back and forth for ages. Slowly but surely you were growing enraged. Having bipolar disorder and anger issues Tess knew you needed to calm down before you passed out.

“Okay come on you need to calm down.” She says strictly but assuringly. Even though she was upset with the argument as well she didn’t want it to get worse with you passing out for continuing to dig your nails into your arms.

She took ahold of your shoulders and began to guide you to your room. And shortly after being alone you’d calm down and she’d come back and the two of you would talk it out.

But…that did not happen this time. As she tried to move you, you resisted. “Hey stop. Calm down.” She said trying to grab your arms as you tried to get out her reach. With the fresh cuts and the excessive deep one a whine of pain was let out.

Tess paused momentarily and debated on backing off, but she didn’t. You had been acting different and were on the verge of a panic attack.

With harsh short breaths through go your nose you knew there was nothing else you could do to hide anymore, you were too weak. “What’s hurtin’ hm?” Tess states touching your hands, shoulders, and head gently.

But when she glides over your arms you bit your lip. Razor burn was hitting hard. “Okay let’s get this off..” she mumbles slowly taking the jacket off after she sat you down on the couch.

“Oh honey…” was all Tess could say, staring at the cuts, scars, deep, and shallow. She tries to comfort you but too shaked up and overstimulated. “Okay okay.” Tess backs off, leaving for a short moment to grab the random first aid crap in the bathroom.

She comes back and cleans very carefully, trying not to upset or overstimulate you. As well as to not hurt you. “Breath baby.” She holds your face softly trying to calm you down.

After awhile the cleaning and wrapping is done. It was safe to say Tess could understand why. You had bad bipolar disorder and meltdowns. “Why didn’t you tell me hm?” She asks sitting next to you.

“Cause I didn’t want to worry you and give you more trouble cause it started when dad left and-“ You couldn’t finish beginning to sob.

She pulls you into her tightly and holds you. Quietly shh’ing you, cradling you like a baby. “I’m here I’m not going anywhere. I’m not him.”

Tess holds onto you as you fall asleep. And she’ll always be there for you.

✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿

THIS TOOK FOREVER OVER A WEEK I GOT STUCK. Anyways happy birthday to me <3 Love you stay safe.

[rememberingliampayne]

Dear Liam,

I never imagined I would ever be in a situation like this. I'll never forget the exact moment I found out that you were not here with us anymore. The pain I felt at that moment has not gone away, even after so many days, and it feels like it will never go. I'll admit, I haven't been keeping up with the band and everyone's solo careers since 2017 as I got caught up with my own career. But I still reminisce about the time when I was 11, when I first saw you in 'What Makes You Beautiful.' You guys were part of making my middle school and teenage years special. I still remember the first time I heard 'Little Things,' 'Best Song Ever,' and 'Night Changes.' I remember watching 'This Is Us' with my friend, and I also remember jamming to One Direction songs on the bus while going on trips. Although I didn't think about the band as much, you all have always been ingrained in our conscience. So it broke me when I found out that one of you isn’t here anymore. Liam, you had such a hearty smile, a smile that brightened up the darkest of days. When I was in college, I came across 'Polaroid.' It was one of my favorite songs, and I used to listen to it on loop. I did not realize that it was you singing. I guess it's because you had always been around, and I didn't pay attention. Subconsciously, I had always thought everyone was fine, doing their own thing. I wish I had paid attention because now it's too late to tell you. We've never met, but I believe you were full of life, hopes, and dreams. I keep asking myself the reason, and all I can think of is that you've taught us never to take the people around us for granted and to always show people love. I hope you are seeing how many lives you've touched and how much love you have here on Earth. The only thing that provides a sliver of solace is that we're all here to support each other through this devastating time, and we'll always keep your legacy alive. It feels like even after counting all the stars, the pain won't go away. But I know that you're safe up there, and this is not the end, we'll see you again. We also promise to let Bear know how much you love him!

Love,

S. J.

[steddio]

steddie vegas au part 3

part 1; part 2

–

“YOU WHAT?” Robin shrieks, nearly smacking Steve in the shoulder with her water bottle as she whips around to face him. They’re about halfway through their morning hike, struggling uphill, and he’s impressed that she even has the energy for such an outburst. Steve is sweating like a pig and trying not to look like he’s gasping for breath.

He holds his hands up in surrender. “In my defense, I didn’t know who he was! And he looked kind of lost, and you know I have a tendency to adopt strays! He had these big, sad puppy eyes…”

“Eddie freaking Munson is not a stray, Steve! He’s a bona fide rockstar. Like, double platinum, Grammy-winning, cover of Rolling Stone rockstar. And you didn’t recognize him?!” Her voice is rising into a nearly inhuman register and Steve reaches out to try and calm her. 

“Why would I recognize him, Robs? I never know who anyone famous is, and I like it that way. And, he seemed to kind of enjoy me not knowing. Like, his whole attitude changed once we walked past his billboard.”

Robin is gaping at him and Steve uses the opportunity to grab the water bottle out of her hand and take a swig. It’s a testament to her astonishment that she doesn’t even yell at him for it. He wipes his mouth with the neck of his t-shirt, and starts walking up the hill. He kind of regrets telling her about last night. After all, he had promised to keep Eddie’s secret. But telling Robin doesn’t really feel like telling another person. Just like having an internal conversation with the louder half of his brain. 

“Besides,” he calls out over his shoulder, “it doesn’t matter anyway. He’s just another hotel guest. I’ll probably barely see him.”

Robin jogs to catch up and grabs the bottle back with a huff. “Steve. You escorted Eddie Munson to an AA meeting. That’s like, intimate.”

Steve shakes his head, “No, Rob, it wasn’t like that. I’m sure he just wants to forget about it. He probably flirts with everyone.” 

“He was flirting with you?!” Robin is back to screeching. 

“Well yeah, I think so,” he shrugs. “It was hard to tell, but he called me nicknames and complimented my arms.” Robin looks about ready to combust, and he tries to change the subject. “Did you see the photos of Max and Lucas from last night? I can’t believe how much she’s grown up.” 

“Don’t think I don’t know what you’re trying to do! We’re not done here!” But Robin’s eyes are soft, and she nudges his shoulder, “did you go all papa bear on Lucas?”

Steve laughs. “No, if anything I was trying to encourage Max to go for it. She called me in hysterics freaking out about whether Lucas liked her. As if that boy hasn’t been in love with her for half a decade.”

They spend the rest of the hike going over every detail he knows of his daughter’s romantic life. Robin is equally invested despite having never met Max, and he loves her for it. Even if he can’t be there every day, being a dad is the most important thing in his life. And he can’t help it, he likes to indulge in a little gossip and teenage love lives are nothing if not dramatic. 

As they say goodbye in the parking lot, Robin sternly meets his gaze. “Don’t let me down, dingus. If Eddie Munson is flirting with you, you better flirt back, or I swear to god I’ll come down there and do it myself.”

“And lose your gold star status?” he teases, and then dodges her halfhearted punch to his arm. 

“Alright, alright, Robs. If he talks to me, and I really don’t think he will after last night so that’s a big if, I’ll pull out the Harrington charm.” Robin gags a little at that and waves him away. He gets into his car, eager for a shower and maybe even a little bit eager to go to work. 

–

When he gets into work at 2 pm, the concierge desk is a shitshow. Some beauty influencer retreat is happening in the hotel, and the person on the morning shift is completely incompetent (they’re new, Steve tries to be generous, everyone is new at some point, but goddammit he’s pretty sure Max could do the job better than this Tammy person), and so Steve spends most of the afternoon canceling and rescheduling incorrectly made spa appointments while reassuring a seemingly endless parade of 19-year-old blonde girls that yes, absolutely, they will be able to accommodate the new time, and he’s so sorry for the misunderstanding. As if that’s not enough, they all seem to be trying to one-up each other for the title of Most Ridiculous Flirt, and if Steve hears “he’s such a daddy” stage-whispered across the lobby one more time, he’s going to pull out baby pictures of Max and start waving them around. 

Of course it’s in the midst of this chaos that Eddie happens to show up, leaning over the counter, finger hovering over the bell.

“Don’t you dare,” Steve whispers to him with a glare that quickly dissolves into a grin. Eddie reaches out and boops his nose instead, and Steve can’t help but laugh as he swats him away. 

The spell is broken by the loud pop of gum and a whispered “holy shit, is that-?” The girls swarm to their shiny new toy, asking for autographs and selfies. Steve bemusedly watches as Eddie handles it all with grace, posing for pictures and signing t-shirts. 

He extricates himself with a slight bow and an “excuse me, darlings” that nearly causes several teenagers to go into cardiac arrest, and comes back to Steve’s counter. 

“Hi,” he says.

“Hi,” Steve replies. “What can I help you with today?”

“The question, Steve-o, is what I can help you with.” Eddie looks mischievous and before Steve can clarify what he means, Eddie is asking when his break is.

Steve replies without thinking. “It was supposed to be at 5.”

“Well, sugar, it’s 5:30 so I think you’re overdue. Can I buy you a coffee?” 

Eddie is definitely flirting, Steve is certain of it. He momentarily debates whether he should refuse, but he already broke any semblance of a boundary last night, and today Eddie looks, well, delicious. His hair is pulled up in a messy bun and he’s wearing a cardigan thrown over a tight black sleeveless undershirt and joggers and… studded crocs, Steve realizes. Eddie must catch him staring because he raises one eyebrow and gestures behind him, towards the food court. Steve puts his trusty “Be right back” sign on the desk and ponders flipping the bird at the group of teenagers still staring open-mouthed at them, but decides that he can afford to take the moral high ground.

They weave their way past slot machines and several bars before getting in line at Starbucks. “I know this is basic,” Eddie whispers, his breath hot on Steve’s cheek. “But nothing hypes me up on performance days more than their cold brew. It’s better than cocaine.” 

He pulls away with a wink, and Steve isn’t sure he should be laughing at that joke coming from someone who attends daily AA meetings, but he can’t help letting out a giggle. And it’s worth it for the brief look of joyful surprise on Eddie’s face. 

They order their coffee and take a seat. Eddie is attracting a few stares, Steve notices, but Vegas is a live and let live kind of place and so people mostly leave them alone. Their knees touch under the small table, and Steve finds himself mirroring Eddie, leaning in close to talk. 

Eddie asks Steve about his job, about living in Vegas, about who he was talking to on the phone yesterday. He listens patiently while Steve regales him with stories about Mad Max. Tells Steve about touring, about songwriting, about Chrissy, his childhood best friend-turned-manager. 

Steve finds himself smiling more than he has in months. Eddie is magnetic, equal parts charismatic and attentive. Steve hasn’t had a date (is he allowed to call this a date?) go this well in years and twinges with regret when he glances at his watch and realizes that they’ve been talking for way longer than his allotted break time and he needs to get back. 

Eddie escorts him to the lobby, and once again leans over the counter, chin on one hand. Steve meets his eyes and blushes at the intensity there.

“Thank you,” he tells Eddie. “I had… a lot of fun.” 

“The pleasure was mine, sugar,” Eddie replies softly. Steve tries to think of anything other than the heat that curls low in his belly at the pet name. Eddie starts to walk away, but Steve calls him back. 

“Eddie!” 

Eddie turns, something earnest and eager in his face. 

“Good luck tonight. Or, er, break a leg.” Steve blushes fully at that, feeling awkward under Eddie’s gaze.

Eddie nods, smiles, and then treats Steve to yet another view of his ass, and Steve is on fire, jittery from what he tells himself is the caffeine.

–

Eddie’s pre-show routine has been pretty much the same for a decade. He chugs a giant coffee—today’s had been extra delicious with its side of hunk—throws on eyeliner, and puts on whatever outfit he imagines would horrify his homophobic high school principal the most. Today it’s low rise leather pants with lacing on each hip and an unbuttoned black cowboy shirt. He hairsprays the shit out of his hair, back-combs it a little to get that sex-mussed look, and voila, he’s done. 

From there he normally goes and bugs all the other guys. As the frontman, Eddie gets his own dressing room, which can come in handy for post-show escapades but normally leaves him a little lonely. So he wanders down the green room hallway until he finds the rest of the band. Jeff and Gareth greet him with a fist bump, and he nods politely to their new bassist Ray, who’s drawing on terrifyingly huge eyeliner wings. 

They shoot the shit for a while, Gareth telling them about a cute girl who was totally hitting on him at the bar and who was definitely not a hooker. Eddie and Jeff are understandably skeptical, but Gareth doubles down until their increasingly agitated debate is settled by Ray, who calmly states that the girl was indeed a hooker because she saw her counting cash in the bathroom.

When the opener goes on, Chrissy swoops in and they run through their set list one last time before huddling up together in a tight circle. This little ritual has been their good luck charm since their first ever set in their hometown dive bar. 

Eddie starts them off: “Come! This is the hour we draw swords together!” 

Gareth continues: “For glory!”

Jeff adds: “For death!”

“For the babes,” Ray adds, getting a chuckle out of them all.

And Eddie finishes, solemnly, “For Frodo.” They press their foreheads together and jump back with a holler before running down the hallway and into the wings. As they step out onstage and the familiar adrenaline rush fills Eddie’s veins, he can’t help but feel a twinge of sadness, like someone who should be in the audience isn’t there.

–

For the next few weeks, Eddie makes a point of stopping by the concierge desk every day. Sometimes he brings Steve coffee or takes him out during his breaks. Sometimes he just stands there and flirts over the counter, making more and more of a fool of himself just to see Steve blush. He learns that Steve has Mondays and Thursdays off. That he hates cinnamon gum. That he’s an expert at being just bitchy enough to shut people down but not so bitchy that people realize what he’s doing. Eddie gets a secret thrill of satisfaction when he watches Steve very firmly decline outrageous requests and people who think that full service means more than it does. 

He finds himself looking forward to their daily conversations, unexpectedly captivated by how ordinary Steve’s life is. Because Steve loves to complain. But his complaints are about someone taking forever in line at the grocery store, or the Audi driver who cut him off in traffic, or how he can’t stand the stay-at-home moms who clog up the trailhead parking lots. All these benign moments that Eddie never gets to experience, instead worrying about ticket sales and tour dates and, in his darker moments, whether anyone actually wants to be close to him or if they just want to be close to the spotlight.

Eddie feels like they’re on the cusp of something, waiting to be pushed off the edge. This routine of flirting is fun, and it’s safe, and Eddie’s enjoying it. Steve is hot, and he treats Eddie like a real person, and their banter is sexy but harmless. They could be suspended in this mutual attraction without consequence until the end of Eddie’s residency and that would be that. But the little demon on Eddie’s shoulder that always wants, needs, begs for more tells him to take the plunge, consequences be damned. 

He’s mulling this over during breakfast one morning, sipping coffee across from Chrissy. 

“What’s on your mind, Didi?” she asks quietly, always observant. 

He sighs dramatically and throws one hand over his forehead. “I pine, Chrissy! I yearn!”

She chuckles. “Steve? Again? Why don’t you just ask him out already?”

“I have been!” Eddie insists. “I’ve bought him, like, a hundred coffees.” At her exasperated look, he gets more serious. “Can I, Chrissy? I don’t–. I can’t afford to crash and burn again. What if I ask him out for real and the worst happens? What if it’s Adrian all over again?” 

He tries to avoid her eyes, not wanting to see the pity there, but when he finally looks up she’s hiding a grin behind her hand.

“Chrissy!” he admonishes. “It’s not funny!” 

“Alright, alright,” she concedes, still smiling. “It’s not funny, but Eddie, hon, you have to put yourself out there sometime if you want something real. And from everything you’ve told me about Steve, I think he’s a good bet.”

Eddie takes a moment to ponder this. Unlike most of the people he’s courted, Steve is markedly unfazed by the whole famous rockstar thing. He’s been meticulously checking his Instagram follow requests every day and hasn’t seen one from Steve so he’s pretty sure the guy’s not on social media. Plus he has that dorky dad vibe going for him, and Eddie is a sucker for a DILF. 

“But what do I do next, Chris? I’ve already been flirting my little ass off, and sure he flirts back but it’s not like he’s made any moves to get more serious. Where do I go from here?”

“Leave that to me,” she tells him, and reaches for her phone. A minute later he gets a text notification.

“Chrissy, doll, why are you sending me backstage passes to my own show?” She just looks at him like he’s an idiot. “Oh. Oh. You think he’d really go?”

“Eddie. Think about it. How many people throw their underwear on stage during your performances? He’ll go crazy.” She comes to stand behind him and throws her arm around his neck. “Plus, I think it’s time he sees you at work instead of the other way around.” 

–

Steve is in the midst of his Wednesday evening routine of making weekend dinner reservations at every upscale restaurant in Vegas, held under the hotel’s name at first so they can offer them to guests who call at the last minute. He’s just hanging up with Koi when he makes eye contact with Eddie across the lobby. Steve leans onto the counter and watches Eddie’s approach, lets his gaze trace the man from head (curly hair loose and slightly damp from a shower) to toe (the studded crocs, again), and everything in between (slim waist tapering into slinky hips, white t-shirt that clings deliciously, low slung plaid trousers). He knows Eddie can see him staring, and his cheeks heat slightly, but he looks anyway. 

This tension between them has only escalated since that first night. He can’t get Eddie out of his head, he wants him so badly, and even more dangerous, he honest-to-god likes spending time with him. He’s funny, and insightful, and he seems to genuinely care when Steve tells him about Max, and not in that fake way of so many of his dates who were clearly just trying to get in his pants and had no interest in a family man.

Part of him wants to throw caution to the wind and ask Eddie out to dinner. But who is he to ask a world famous rockstar out. He’s nobody. Just a divorced guy ostracized from his hometown working in the service industry. 

He’s torn out of this morose line of thought by the familiar greeting of, “Hey sugar,” this time followed by “I got something for you.”

Steve meets Eddie’s eyes, and is surprised to see uncertainty there. But Eddie is smiling as he extends his arm, phone in hand. “Here, put your number in.”

Steve does. Wants to make a joke about Eddie finally asking for his digits after the tenth date but stops himself when he sees Eddie’s telltale signs of nerves (rocking on the balls of his feet, chewing his hair). He hands the phone back and waits while Eddie does something with it.

“Okay, sugar, there you go.” 

Steve checks his phone, clicks on a text from an unknown number. “What–. Eddie, what are these?”

“VIP tickets to my show tomorrow.” Steve meets Eddie’s expectant gaze with wide eyes. “Will you come?”

Steve takes in a breath. As if he would ever, ever turn this down with the way Eddie is looking at him as if he’s just placed his heart in Steve’s hands. 

“Yes. Yes, of course I’ll come! I’ll bring Rob.” Steve sees Eddie’s face fall, looking every bit a wounded puppy, and Steve hurries to correct himself. “Robin. I’ll bring Robin. My lesbian best friend. She’s kind of my platonic soulmate. Crazy, but you’ll like her.” 

Eddie’s face brightens at the word “lesbian” and Steve feels his cheeks warm, pleased that Eddie is pleased that he’s not bringing a man. 

Eddie “oohs” dramatically. “A lesbian? I’ll have to introduce her to Chrissy. Christ knows that girl needs to get laid.” Suddenly he leans in close, right in Steve’s space, mouth close to his ear. Steve can feel goosebumps where Eddie’s breath hits his neck, and he blushes even deeper.

“Those tickets include backstage passes. I expect to see you there after the show, big boy.” With that, he smacks a wet kiss on Steve’s cheek, turns, and walks away. 

Steve is left standing there, red-faced, awestruck, slightly horny, and full of anticipation.

--

continue to part 4.

read on ao3.

--

tag list (let me know if you want to be added or removed!): @knightofthieves @exhibit-no-restraint @zerokrox-blog @nelotegreitic @samthemissfit @impeachy @mentallyundone @n0-1-important @xxbottlecapx @ameliajwho1993 @abstractnaturaldisaster @hellomynameismoo @epiclazershark @dogswithforks @i-less-than-three-you @aveys6 @anaibis @sofadofax @sunswathe

[tbhimnoteasyonmyself]

15 Day BL Challenge - DAY 13

Friday the 13th!! Woooo~~~

Many might say otherwise but I think it's an incredibly lucky day. My grandma was born on one and it was an absolute honour to grow up with her. Love her forever.

So let's celebrate a star with other stars, shall we?

Give 5 Good Boys a Gold Star

BL and good boys? More likely than you'd think, actually.

It is true this world is filled to the brim with absolutely blood red red flags but we still get to believe in the goodness of man(kind).

So here's to them!!!

Yoryak (Wandee Goodday), Mahasamut (Love Sea), Bee (Between Us), Li Ming (Moonlight Chicken) & Sorn (Manner of Death)

Yak, the absolute green flag you are, my beloved. The amount of respect, of kindness, of patience and of cuteness that this man has in one single tit, I mean, in his heart (it's not my fault his tits are in front of it, okay?)... What an absolute gentleman. He's a family man, a true friend, a good boyfriend... An exceptionally good guy, I mean, he helped a complete stranger just bc, let's not forget. What can I say? I love him. I think if he hugged me, it would cure my mental illness.

I would've given up on Tongrak really easily. But not Mut. This man saw through, respected the space but never gave up. He walked a thin line but he had a vision. And he pulled through. With elegance (and a good amount of horniness as well), proved love doesn't have to be scary and it can actually help improve your life and make you want to be a better person. Shout out.

In a world of ppl seeking easy things, Bee chose the hard one. With grace and determination (and by being an absolute simp), he never let go of Prince's side, always provided good advice to his friends and managed to be both a dreamer and an extremely grounded dude, which is a hard thing to do. He really proved to everyone that when BlackPink said "I don't want a boy, I need a man" THIS was what they meant. We have no option but to stan.

Do I even need to say anything? Li Ming took one good look at Heart, asked "is anyone gonna love the shit out of this lonely guy over here or do I have to do it myself?" and did NOT wait for an answer. Like, god fucking damn it, he learned a whole language for Heart, absolutely legendary. Plus he always tried to do his best for his uncle AND for himself, which is also extremely important. He worked hard and he deserves all the places that may get him to.

Now... I know when you have Cactus as sex witnesses, Tul Pakorn, serial murders, proper adult horny BL, substance abuse, illegal abortions and human trafficking, it's hard to focus on the B-Plot teenage baby gays BUT I PROMISE Sorn is worth noticing. What an absolute good boy. What a loveable little guy. What a caring prince. He worried about his friends, the adults in his life, his boyfriend (don't fight me, they ARE dating, period), complete strangers. He worried about the law, of all things!! What an absolute cutie. Pls give him more credit, he is lovely.

HONOURABLE MENTIONS: Choco & Milk (Choco Milk Shake), Ishida (Mr. Mitsuya's Planned Feeding), Pruek (Between Us), Ouyang Zizhen & Wen Ning (The Untamed), Hoy (Jack&Joker), Gaipa (Moonlight Chicken), White (DFF) & Cao Weining (Word of Honor)

Choco and Milk literally came back to Earth to make Jungwoo happy. No further explanation is required.

Ishida was an absolute mess but he was a boundary king and he was always worried about how Mitsuya might react to his thoughts and feelings, which is honourable.

In a world where Mannaow was always treated like shit bc of awful beauty standards, Pruek treated her as the queen she was.

Zizhen's romantic heart is commendable but more commendable is how he stands up for what he believes.

Wen Ning suffered literally more than Jesus. Everything gruesome that ever happened, man was there. They made him kill ppl against his will. Nobody fucking likes him in-universe. And all this man ever wanted was a peaceful life with his sister and a damn hug. Unnacceptable.

Hoy might be a little dumb and silly but you can't say he isn't caring or trying his best. His heart is in the right place, which is what matters the most.

If you've watched Moonlight Chicken you know the horrors Gaipa goes through are immense but, despite that, he's never mad at anyone, never lashes out. His heart is made of solid gold, I'm sure, and that should be appreciated.

White died (unclear because of the drug plotline but let's assume he did) being the only innocent person inside that house. All he ever wanted was a quiet life with his bf, who was a bit shitty but was trying his best to change. He deserves to, at least, be mentioned here.

Weining was another tragedy... He wasn't the strongest or the smartest but he was the kindest. In a world so terrible as is the world of Word of Honour, with schemes and bloodshed and vengeance... It's surprising how pure and naïve he was. Bless his soul.

Ah... I love all my good boys <3333

[sr-stories]

4, 6, 12 for Cedric

4. If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in?

If I could put Cedric in any other piece of media, it would put him in the movie "It Chapter Two." Hear me out. The purpose of this film is to teach people that the only way to overcome your fears is to face them head-on. Pennywise, aka the antagonist of this story, is a physical manifestation of fear itself. It feasts on the fear—and flesh—of its victims until there's nothing left of them. In Cedric's case, his greatest fear is failure. He wants to prove to everyone that he isn't the bungler they make him out to be. However, this constant need to prove himself worthy led him down a dark path. 

Cedric believed that if he became king, everyone would finally see what a "great sorcerer" he truly is. He ended up freezing Sofia's family with the Medusa Stone in Day of the Sorcerers. Of course, Sofia saved her family by plucking the stone off Cedric's wand and dropping it on the ground. Later on in season four, Cedric states that he'll never forget his "shameful actions." This statement alone shows just how much his mistakes affect him on a daily basis. But where did this all stem from? 

In the episode Through the Looking Back Glass, we figure out a crucial event from Cedric's past that changed his life for the worst. The setting of the incident took place at Cordelia's Sorceress Ball. Cedric promised his sister that her ball would be unforgettable. And boy was the lad right about that. "My life was never the same after that day. Everyone in the kingdom—Cordelia, my father, your father—from that day on, they all thought of me as 'Cedric the Bungler'. And the worst part is... it was not my fault." Even though Cedric ended up turning a new page in the spellbook—his words, not mine—I think it would be interesting if he came face-to-face with Pennywise. Does the royal sorcerer have what it takes to face it head-on?

6. What's something you have in common with this character?

What Cedric and I have in common is how we let our nerves get the better of us from time to time. I took a public speaking course during my freshman year of college that started at 5 pm and ended at 7:30 pm. Whenever it was my turn to present, my voice would crack as soon as I opened my mouth. This is a nod to that scene in Cedric's Apprentice where Cedric had to perform a magic act for King Roland II and King Magnus. His opening line was a feeble, "Good evening." When I watched this scene for the first time, I got second-hand embarrassment. Poor Cedric.

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

I actually have a bunch of Cedric headcanons that I'd like to share. However, I'm only going to share one for the sake of your time and sanity.

When Cedric was a teenager, he wrote a 200k-word fanfiction about meeting his idol Merlin and becoming his apprentice.

I headcanon that whenever Cedric grows out his hair, he brushes it against his lips to ease his nerves. I'm totally not projecting myself onto him. That's not what I'm doing. (It is.)

[autisticempathydaemon]

Hi Lexi! I saw your match ups and I'm curious who you'd match me up with, if you wouldn't mind?

•What song are you fixated on at the moment? What lyric or verse, and why?

• Okay, so I’ve listened to ‘Rule #34’ by Fish in a Birdcage over and over. The verse ‘You look so good, there on your knees/ Such a good girl knows how to please/ Look at me, look me in the eyes/ Forget yourself, surrender your mind/ Right now, you’re mine/ All mine/ Give in, you’re mine/ All mine (oh)’ I really have no real reason that comes to mind except that it scratches something in my brain.

•What is your Enneagram type?

•I'm an INFJ

•Do you love gargantuan Youtube video essays, and if so, which is your favorite and why?

•I do not, the closest I’d say I enjoy are the Redacted 101 videos

•Tell me about your childhood imaginary friend.

•I actually can’t remember much of my childhood. I think I used to have an imaginary friend but I can’t remember specifics

•What is your go-to way to fall asleep?

•listening to ASMR videos, usually Redacted

•If you had to change your name, what would it be, and why? (In tandem, if you have changed your name, why did you pick that one?)

• Hmmm that’s a good question. I actually like my name so I’ve never thought of changing it. I might go with Amitisia, it’s kinda cringe because it’s the name I gave to a main character of a story I never finished writing when I was a teenager.

•What is your favorite of Redacted’s audios, and why?

•Number one spot goes to “Your Incubus Confesses His Feelings (Again) While You Sleep”. It’s so soft and sweet and makes me feel so comforted when I’m having a bad day. I’ve listened to it a lot before I fall asleep.

Second place would go to “Falling For Your Yandere Childhood Friend”

•What Redacted boy holds no appeal to you, and why? Like, not the one you hate but the one who you don’t get the hype for. (I won’t judge, I promise.)

•Hate to say it but Ollie, he’s so sweet and nice but I was just never interested? And it always seems like we get an Ollie video before something bad happens so maybe that has something to do with it?

•Tell me about that one book/movie/tv show you know all the words to.

•I tend to replay shows and movies I like a lot so there’s a bunch. I guess I’ll go with “Mulan” because it’s my all time favorite Disney movie.

•Which Redacted boy are you platonically attracted to? Like- forget dating, which dude do you want to be your best friend?

•Oh, definitely Asher! Whenever I listen to his playlist I'm just like…You’re cute and chaotic but I’d rather have you as a wing-man.

•Do you have a go-to thing you ramble about when you’re tired, and if so, what is it? (For example, my boyfriend knows I’m ready to sleep when I start talking about space.)

•So, irl I’m a very quiet person, so I get even more quiet when I’m tired. I guess if I picked something, it’d be something I’m currently trying to write?

•Tell me your go-to gas station and drink combo.

•Nachos and cheese and root beer

•Tell me about your favorite playlist at the moment.

•I’ve currently been obsessed with the Epic the Musical playlist. I have to stop myself from singing it when I listen at work

•What’s your guilty pleasure media, and why?

•Reverse harem books, especially if it’s more of a poly situation than a multiple guys are with one girl. I was always frustrated with love triangles in books growing up, because…why can’t they all just be together. It was a pretty blaring flag that I was poly, now that I think about it.

•Extras

•My favorite color is purple. I love cats. I enjoy anime or animated shows/movies over live action. I collect pins, rocks/crystals, and stuffed animals. I hate certain food textures.

There are lots of cute details here to consider and prioritize when I was considering your match, but your being a writer won out. I can’t not pair a writer with Guy, you know?

Despite the same hobby/vocation, I love the small ways you contrast each other as well. Guy’s extroverted, bombastic nature would be such a cute foil to your introverted, quiet self. You’re a cat person; I imagine Guy as a dog person. These differences keep things interesting and balanced but not discordant, you know? I also think Guy is one of the redacted bois most likely to be poly/a romantic anarchist, so that’s another factor that would make y’all work so well. (He’d have similar feelings about love triangles, and a couple that bitches together stays together /hj /pos)

Guy would be such a charming boyfriend- not necessarily an easy one to an introvert but definitely a charming one. You two have writing sessions that are meant to be done quietly, in tandem, and they never are, always interrupted by Guy’s stream of consciousness and sidetracked thoughts spoken out loud. (Somehow, you still always get so much written. He’s very inspiring that way.) You two adopt both a cat and a dog that get along a lot better than anyone would expect. Guy always feels in his bones when you’re not having a great day and comes home with a new rock or pin for collection.

Song:

And that's because I wanna be your favorite boy/ I wanna be the one that makes your day/ The one you think about as you lie awake/ I can't wait to be your number one/ I'll be your biggest fan and you'll be mine

The song I picked for y’all isn’t necessarily one I think you’d both like per se, though it’s very catchy; I picked it because it’d make a good soundtrack to your love story. It makes me think of Guy falling in love with you, falling first, and being like “just you wait, I am going to win you over”, like he wants to be your favorite boy, your boyfriend, but best friend/roommate is a good start.

Runner-ups:

Huxley is a cute runner-up for you as an ambivert, but I especially love how often he’d bring you rocks and crystals for your collection, maybe even getting you a special shelf to display them on. Camelopardalis is your other runner-up, because he’s one loving partner away from falling in love with cats; he just needs someone to show him the way.

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

[your-queer-dad]

Hey Queer dad, I only just found this blog, but I'm writing you anyway, I Don't want to be anonymous, I want my name attached to my story I fear that I'm probably going to explain myself poorly but here goes anyway I am going to be 24 years old this May, I've been on E since 10 - 2020 Ive had to move out to live with my boyfriend of 3 years and it feels like I've all but abandoned my dreams of going through college as an engineer, things were hard to keep up with when covid struck and now I'm a trans-woman living in Georgia USA, I understand that its not as good as my home-state of New York on trans issues, but I have my BF and his Family who are supportive... I'm SCARED as of late sure I live in a fairly chill part of the state, but i'm SCARED like big time, its making my mental health journey harder, and I'm finding a lot of VERY bad thoughts creeping in, mostly about my appearance and all that, I don't look all that fem when i have trouble taking care of my day-to-day hygiene,

My dad is ""Supportive"" as far as accepting the fact that I'm his daughter now, but he and most of my extended family still doesn't use my pronouns or chosen name. My mom, well she left this world, and me alone in it, sure she was never the best to me, but she would have been the one person to support me. When she left I promised myself and her that I would take the little support I spit on and ground into the dirt as a teenager and actually be true to myself.

I know that at this point I am rambling, but I want to put meaning and journey behind my words THANK YOU, for being here for us. THANK YOU for providing a space for us to ask questions, and get parental style advice when we have no-one else and I ask of you this, how does one find community in this world when one struggles to navigate the fear she feels from the world around her?

Hi!! Thank you so much for reaching out. Honestly, it sounds like you've had such a rough time and I am really proud of you. Thank you for sharing your story, I appreciate it, and I'll do my best to help out.

Personal story time: I myself was (and still am sometimes) in a very similar situation myself. And it is scary, it's really isolating to see so much hate from others just for being yourself, and it makes you want to withdraw and hide. And I hid, for so long- it's really hard to show your true self in a world so full of hate and fear.

But I did, slowly, step by step. A little bit every day. Us humans, we're not supposed to be on our own. We're pack animals, like wolves or lions, we thrive off other people's company (some more than others). With mental health, when all you want to do is hide and let the world forget that you exist, what helps you the most is finding others who feel like it and can help.

Easier said than done right?

I'm still working on it, and there's never going to be a stage where you're perfect at it- but every day, just actively trying to engage with others around you, I found helped me. Not running away when people offer help, speaking to new people, finding my local queer community- just actively being aware of my surroundings and gently pushing myself to talk to new people.

The worlds a lot less scary when you have an army of support behind you.

It takes time, and energy. It's hard. And definitely baby steps, small steps. But there are so many good people out there, who will love you and accept you and value you, you just have to find them.

I'm really proud of you, I'm always here if you need someone to talk to and feel free to reach out anytime. Everything will be okay.

- dad x

[imaginespazzi]

Wowza, I have a LOT of thoughts and feelings about part 7. A real mixed bag. BUCKLE UP.

2033

yaaay they had a sleep over that didn't end absolute destruction of our collective hearts!

I feel the storm a brew'in with Drew. Something is coming and its not gonna be good lol.

Stephie’s quiet for a second, hiccoughing to herself as she searches for something on Paige’s face before she holds out a pinky, “promise you’ll never leave?” oof. my gut. is punched.

Paige is terrified. hmmm ok I like were getting into Paige's psyche a little more. Unlike other anons I don't think she's going to straight up run away or something drastic like that, but I think its totally fair that now that they are over the 'hump' (even though there has been no humping :( ) of admitting their feelings and trying to build something new, it is sinking in for Paige that wow this could be amazing… or I could get my heart trampled again and combust into a million pieces if this dream doesn't work out

Paige laughs, tucking that little tidbit away to tease Azzi with later, “how about you and I go get your Mama her favorite coffee?” oh I love this domestic shit. Paige would be the kind of sweet lover girl to go out and get her woman her favorite coffee even if theres coffee already in the house

Hmmm when is Jose's wedding happening? Will Paige be Azzi's date? Will being at a wedding give her a PTSD trauma response? I normally love weddings but i feel like you aint gonna give us a fluff fest with this one. Or maybe Azzi and Paige have a wonderful romantic time and start talking about what they want to do for their own wedding. happy happy happy fluff yay.

OOoh lawd is Paige gonna let an 'i love you' slip and freak Azzi out

“your daughter has you wrapped around her little finger huh?” “yeah, yeah she does.” SOBBING. But for real by the time Stephie is a teenager Azzi is going to have to impose a monthly limit on how much Paige can spend on random shit for Stephie cause she would be rollin up to school in a G-wagon and a louis v backpack and get mugged/become insufferable lol.

“I got you an iced vanilla latte with extra whipped cream,” foreshadowing smut with Paige putting whipped cream on azzi's nips? yes? great.

“Sounds good,” Paige confirms, “we’ll be there!” - awwww cutie paige. Couple mode.

But there’s something about being a secret again, that raises a bitter taste of what killed us then could kill us now in her mouth. hmmmm this is interesting. I often forget about the fact that their first relationship was a secret, and how clearly there is an element of that involved in their breakup. Azzi pulling back again? Im getting sad.

dun dun dun dun the moment we've been waiting for - FRENCHIE!

Hmm ok so Stephie doesn't seem to know clem was not just a platonic friend for Azzi… wondering if its cause they weren't in a serious relationship and it was just FWB or if it was a full blown relationship and Azzi consciously hid it from stephie

I mean Im sure Paige hates clemence already for obvious reasons, but STEPHIE loving her……ohhhhh lawd

Oof ok Clemence traded to atlanta… glad we dont have to have her around for long. I dont want paige to be arrested for homicide. Also Im absolutely picturing Clemence looking like Marine Johannes cause we know Azzi's type is white blond haired blue eyed Guards lol

“just one night.” I feel this night out is going to be an alcohol fueled disaster and IM SO EXCITED

2028

Why isn't Azzi playing for team USA? Stephie was born in January so could she not theoretically be back in it by now? Or did she take 2 seasons off?

OK Olivia. You know I love the whole Olivia of it all and I find the relationship so intriguing and complex. My first instincts about her in this chapter were of course, dear god she is such a bitch. And then I have to remind myself SHES NOT. She is just kind of a dumbass who is in love with someone who isn't in love with her, and its pretty much torturing her. -- “You did it,” Olivia screams, running into Paige’s arms as friends and family start to gather on the court, “I’m so proud of you!” “Thanks Olivia-” Paige is about to say more like… you are congratulating your wife on her winning a game at the Olympics and she can't even get out a full sentence in response cause she SEES the back of her ex girlfriends head. Thats grounds for divorce right there lol.

eeeek i dont like confrontation this would make me pee my pants "“Oh I don’t know about that,” Olivia says airily, sharp nails digging a little too roughly into Paige’s skin as her grip tightens further, “there’s plenty of talent up and coming in the next 4 years.”

"This is a side of Olivia that Paige is only just beginning to unveil, the side of Olivia that makes snide bitchy comments with a saccharine voice." … hmmm just starting to reveal? so theyve been married for like 8 months at this point. Olivia was keeping up a facade for a while ….. or Paige's clear preference for azzi is just getting worse and worse and the woman is finally cracking.

Ok the image of Olivia being LIVID in their hotel room, and Paige is just laying in bed watching tiktoks not listening to a thing Olivia says. Why is Olivia still here?! Take the money and run bitch your wife aint that into you!

gazing down at her phone where another fuckass Clézzi edit has started to play "fuckass clezzi edit' HHAHAHAHAH this is so Paige

Another thing about Olivia is that she seems to have a real issue with Basketball despite you know, being a sports reporter and pursuing a player romantically?? When Paige and her have that post presser spat in the earlier chapter Olivia says something like "There are other jobs than playing basketball" and here again she goes "right, fucking basketball. again". Sorry Olivia but your house, luxury cars, jewelry, are all courtesy of the fact that your wife is a basketball player! Who you met... while she was a basketball player! -OK Olivia, not going to the gold medal game? Bitch gots to go. How did this marriage continue for 2 more years lol

Azzi’s eyes soften, “I came for you. I don’t know if I’m allowed to say that but- I’m here for you.” ok and im crying again. Just get back together right here and now you fools.

I do have a short addition to the end of the chapter, ahem im a little rusty:

And they both know that they’re saying words they shouldn’t say. That when they break apart from this moment, they’ll have to walk away. But for now, being in each other’s arms is the only thing that feels right, that feels golden. Except, at the afterparty their eyes meet again. Olivia had gone back to Dallas in a huff instead of staying for closing ceremonies. Clemence had to go be French somewhere, and didn't want to celebrate the USA win. And despite both being in relationships, the pull towards each other they felt was undeniable. After a couple dirty shirleys, Azzi followed Paige to her now empty suite. Once inside Paige opened a bottle of champagne, realized it was from France, and threw the bottle out the window. She then opened a Budweiser, poured it over azzis tits, chugged he rest of it, and they made passionate and patriotic love. As Paige buried her face in Azzis pussy, sucking on her clit like a goddamn AMERICAN, Azzi chanted 'USA USA USA'! She was reminded how much she loved Paige's Red Blooded American passion. Sure, sex with Clem was nice. But she was always stopping in the middle to bring out a cheese plate, and some preserves, or some croissants that got crumbs all over the place. While they both seemed to understand this was a one time thing, Azzi and Paige felt the Olympic spirit erupting within them, that it was fate they they connected here in LA, and released the tension they had been bottling up for 4 years. As they both squirted simultaneously, it was reminiscent of old faithful, another classic American relic. What a night it was. 🤱🤱🤱🤱🤱🤱🤱🤱🤱🤱🤱🤱

Buckling up m'am!

Paige is rightfully apprehensive about a lot of things. I think with her, when she was trying to convince Azzi, she's wasn't thinking about more than just being together. Now that they are taking step towards that, Paige is starting to have an epiphany of "hey there were actual reasons why we haven't been together for the last 8 years and maybe I needa think about those just a little bit".

The wedding will happen on-page and there's two ways it could go. I haven't fully decided yet so it's just as much a mystery to me I guess.

LMFAO Paige is just gonna give that girl an amex card and let her go ham with it if she gets her way

I'm glad you caught that line!

A lot of people seemed to think Clémence looks like Marine Johannes which is lowkey what I pictured as well and so I'm very amused that we all seem to be on the same wavelength with that lmao

I don't think she took two seasons off because she's definitely playing in the 2028 W season but with Stephie having been born only a couple months ago, I think Azzi, as a single mother, prioritized Stephie over going to Olympic training camps and stuff and so she wasn't on the team.

She is just kind of a dumbass who is in love with someone who isn't in love with her, and its pretty much torturing her. - this is exactly it like she's in a very depressing situation if we look at it through non-pazzi tinted glasses

Olivia is holding onto a dream that's threatening to turn into a nightmare and I don't think even she could tell you why she's holding on except for this ridiculous things called hope.

It's easier to take her anger out on Paige's love for basketball than take it out on Paige's love for Azzi that they're both trying to pretend doesn't exist anymore.

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST BABES!

I just- throwing out the champagne cause it's french? the beer? USA USA USA chanting? cheese plates?

No notes, 10/10 perfection. Please take over my writing credentials.

[mytalemyworld]

Usually when a tv couple is ruined, the butchering keeps going. Like, there's a point you can see where everything goes wrong and is never back on track.

As for Asi & Alaz, they give us a scene that's complete nonsense then give us another scene that's in character and so deep.

This inconsistency is drving me mad. Because they could write but choose not to. And this seriously doesn't make sense. I mean, maybe there's one writer in their team who completely has a different writing style and when it's his/her turn, we get meaningful scenes. This might explain this puzzle. I don't know, I want to understand what's going on.

Like this scene…

I surely think whoever wrote this couldn't have written the rooftop scene or the bar scene. This is so layered, so deep, so aching.

Asi: Alaz, where are you? Where did you hide yourself? Alaz: I am here. Asi: This is not you.

The difference between Neslihan and Asi, while one of them has no idea how to help him out, the other one is already one more step ahead of him. His mother's words never touch his heart because it's lacking, it always comes from a mother's naturally worried heart but it's never fulfilling because aforementioned mother already missed his whole childhood, teenager years and never really sees what he needs. But Asi's words rock his world, his conscience and touch his wounds. Because she knows who he is and what he needs.

Alaz: Don't have any hopes about me. Asi: I don't. I know we're not lovers anymore. You aren't a man whom one could become lovers with. It's over. That's not the point. I can live without you. I lived without a father and mother. Being without you won't kill me. Don't worry. But I won't let you go anywhere until you throw the poison inside of you out. I won't watch you being miserable like this. Do you understand me? Did you hear me? Alaz: You want me to poison you too then. Forget it. You can't handle it. Even I can't handle it. I am in a purgatory. I am fighting but can't get myself out of it no matter what I do. Asi: You don't have to fight alone. Hold my hand and let's get out of this war, this purgatory. Then you can let go of my hand. Alaz: If I hold it, I won't be able ot let go of it. Asi: Okay, I promise that I will. Just get out of that pit.

Neslihan was right about one thing. Asi is the biggest chance/luck for him.

This totally makes sense. This gives us a reason, and better, in a metaphorical way, finally he tells what he fears: Ruining her too.

But seeing him like this already destroys her. Even though she states this is just like a worry for his well being, she still says "let's get out of this war together". Because as long as she loves him, this is what she feels like: Being in the middle of that war with him. Whatever he feels, she feels the same.

She really can live without him but it'd make her feel as if she lost another family member. She is a survivor but at what cost?

He confesses her Çağla was the reason Rüya died.

He is like…now the bomb is in your hands, will you pull the pin and destroy my family, destroy my bond with my brother? Or will you really keep holding my hand, be by my side even though that means you will betray Yaman? Because he warned her about this: If she holds out her hand, he will want more, he will expect more. He is that helpless and he hates himself that much.

He's scared that he will see disappointment and hate in her eyes and she will be burdened. That's why he made sure that she would stay away from him. He didn't want her to make that choice. See, they could give us only these, not the rooftop scene or the bar scene. This itself would make them miserable enough. This is such a deep conflict that's why I don't want to believe that this writer team is the same one that wrote the bar scene. Whoever wrote this knows these characters.

Hating him… He has a sick way of thinking… Showing her himself as someone who betrays Yaman is more harmful than making her believe that he doesn't love her….to him this makes sense. I mean, he clearly said he would never look at Asi's face anymore, it's like he wanted to be that kind of person so she would reject him no matter how he selfishly wanted to go to her door.

Still, the bar scene was out of character. Or the way it was written maybe. There is no need to be that extreme.

They're really giving us delicious conflicts but we all know how they are solved in the end. So, I don't expect anything from this.

[dragonmasterhiccup]

“I…” Did he really want to rat out Danny like that? She was the one to literally kick him under the couch… “It was Danny’s fault!”

“What?! Finley!”

Oh great, now they sounded like fighting children.

“She was telling me to hide so you wouldn’t find me, but uh… yeah… I’m not lying though, I swear. Also, I would never, ever do anything to hurt Danny or your daughter. That was the last thing on my mind when I came here.”

“Yeah, you say that, but It’s almost like you just punched me right here—“ she said, hitting her chest. “Right in the heart, you little snitch.”

Oh thank the Gods, he was basically being let off the hook! And, his head was still on his shoulders!

Finley let out a breath of relief, nodding up at Hiccup and thanking him. “Oh for sure, never again, you have my word, Chief.”

Danny scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest. “Please, what a suck up— Hiccup? Are you just going to take this random teenage boys word? I mean, come on! You know how they are; they’re gross, they lie, and they’re thief’s!”

“Hey! You were the one that kicked me in the ribs. Multiple times!”

“What? How is it my fault that you’re just a bit too big to fit under there yourself and you needed some extra assistance?”

“Are you serious? You know what?” He turned to Hiccup. “Yes, it was a surprise visit, your mom told me she was here,” he said, now ‘ignoring’ Danny.

Hiccup wasn't the least bit surprised, as he had already guessed that hiding Finley was Danny's doing.

Crossing his arms, he raised a brow, waiting for Finley to continue explaining.

At the teens promise to never hurt Danny or Zephyr, Hiccup relaxed a little, though he shot Danny a look that said to be quiet before he addressed Finley. "That's what I like to hear. Because you know if you ever do, you'll have to deal with her," he pointed a finger at Danny, "and myself, and Astrid. Just, keep that in mind."

His expression softened slightly, placing a hand on Finley's shoulder. "I know you, so I know you'll keep your word."

Taking a breath, he turned to Danny, gesturing towards her. "You let him in, Danny. You forget, I heard just about everything from Fishlegs about Finley here, and this guy doesn't have any tendency for lying or thievery. He's an Ingerman for Thor's sake!" He didn't mention the 'gross' accusation, because all women viewed men as gross at some point.

Hearing Finley's accusation, he tilted his head at Danny, eyes wide, brows raised, "You what?!"

Oh. Oh, that was certainly a choice.

Why would she say that? Hiccup turned to Finley, who was setting things right, and nodded. "And mom knew Danny was looking after Zephyr tonight. Okay, uh, I really don't see any reason for continuing this... whatever this is. Just, don't hide next time, yeah? Head on outside, Danny will meet you there in a minute."

Facing his sister, he knew she'd be upset if he said anything in front of Finley, so he waited for the door to shut before he spoke. "You know Astrid and I trust you, so why did you feel the need to hide him?"

Shaking his head, he started heading towards the stairs, stopping to turn towards her. "We still do trust you, but...I can't say I'm not disappointed." Nodding towards the door, he added, "Go, he's waiting for you. Thanks for looking after Zephyr, and...I'll see you tomorrow."

[narryskittens]

This is just gonna be rambling and noncohesive cause I really just need to put my feelings somewhere.

I have had this account since March 2012. I was 15 years old. I am now 27. I am still here. Now I wasn't as active for a few years, especially during college (really only coming back for the big things). But whenever I am having a rough time I always come back to two things: Harry Potter and One Direction. I look back on the height of my One Direction obsession so fondly, like I really cherish those years when the only thing I wanted to talk and think about was what these 5 boys were doing. God this is so hard to even articulate like I spent so much of my time loving them. To this day I love them. Just like countless other people on here, I had a really tough adolescence and there were times when the only thing keeping me afloat was the promise of a video diary, a behind-the-scenes YouTube video, an album release, and the list goes on. I used to read fanfiction in class. I would leave class to go to the bathroom and watch the Vevo releases. I would watch the videos 6 times to make sure I didn't miss anything. I feel like I know them. I know I don't and never really will. But they were my everything and I don't think I ever properly grieved them breaking up. Even though I knew what the "hiatus" really meant, there was a small part of me that always hoped to replicate the unbelievable happiness that I once had at the height of this whole experience. Liam dying has really solidified the fact that like I am no longer a teenage girl sitting in her room trying to escape her stressful life (I say this as I am sitting in my room crying over One Direction in the year 2024).

There is such grief. Like I said I am sitting in my room in LA which is a city I moved to to pursue a career in social media. This is a career path I found myself on BECAUSE of One Direction. I found my passion for creating content, pop culture, and connecting with people across the globe while obsessing over these 5 boys. They touch and influence my life to this day. I can genuinely say that I love them, and I was feeling ridiculous yesterday because I am 27 years old, but I have decided to just accept that this death has deeply shaken me and I need to give myself the grace and just allow myself to feel this. I feel so so so weird, so devastated. One of the hardest parts about this is not feeling like I can accurately express how I am feeling to people who weren't hardcore Directioners from the beginning like they just will never ever be able to understand and that is making this hard. Like people don't respect the grief and you feel like you have to justify yourself. This will be affecting me for a good while but I am gonna have to hide it.

God this is so so sad. I feel so much sadness and devastation for his mom, dad, sisters, his little boy, his gf, Maya, the boys, and all of us. The whole situation is so upsetting. So deeply disturbing. Where do we go from this? I feel like I have had a bucket of cold water thrown over my head. I will never forget where I was when the news dropped. I immediately called my best friend (we really bonded and solidified our friendship through obsessing over One Direction together) and we just sat on the phone together. I called my mom and cried and she had to tell me to make myself tea with sugar to help with the shock. I can honestly say I am still in shock. None of this is really sinking in. I saw a TikTok that said it was such a special cultural moment that we lived through, and being able to connect with people who know what is going on and like the gravity of the situation while also still being in our adulthood, is really beautiful. Like you really just had to fucking be there it was magical and it was SO MUCH fun. I need to see more videos of Liam being just a silly guy cause I used to absolutely crack up from these videos. That is what the internet is at its best.

If anyone wants to talk about this please feel free to DM me. I need an outlet. I will probs ramble more in the coming days. I just really needed to type some feelings out. I am so sad, and I can't use my usual tried and true coping mechanism. Sending lots of love out into the universe right now.