#i probably wont be able to come online

[sleepintro]

soo the mcr show tomorrrwo for me is at 1pm..

[puppyeared]

if escape rooms as team building exercises became popular im not sure if id be more excited or terrified

[north-wilkesboro-moonshine-cave]

not to be a colossal fucking cowabummer about everything but it really does suck that like. my really chill and like. supposedly more realistic type of career goal feels about as unattainable as like a kid saying he wants to be a singer or something

[mintyvoid]

why do things stop being made.

why can't i continue to get a thing years later i hate this

[i-cant-sing]

What are your thoughts on the yandere haikyuu teams x their manager?

Boring. I need some spice in it. How about-

Yandere Daichi as a cop and his darling is a civilian and now he's so obsessed with her that he murders her husband, frames him as a criminal and will literally stop at nothing to get darling in his arms because again... who will suspect good old, everybody's best bud COP Daichi to be able to do heinous crimes???

Yandere Sugawara as a psychiatrist because come on- he gives major "master manipulator" vibes and now he's obsessed with his darling patient and will continue to do malpractice and gaslight her and prescribe her all the wrong meds until she loses it and he gets to admit it her under his "special care" and now he can play with her mind all day long🤍

Yandere Oikawa is now a pro volleyball athlete and he just saw Ushijima's little sis, the same one he used to bully and even rejected (and ofc, HUMILIATED) when she confessed to him back in highschool. But now Oikawa's obsessed with her and also still hates his nemesis Ushijima, so what's better than killing two birds with one stone??? And Oikawa still has a very devoted fanclub, only now it's larger and more powerful than ever so now he uses them and his socials to peer pressure you into dating him and eventually, marrying him because he ain't getting any younger honey and he needs some cute babies out of you ASAP.

Yandere Kuroo who is the smart IT tech guy at your office but in reality, he has his own cyber security company that he uses to spy on you, controls your entire life through your socials and don't even get me started on your online banking shit. If its any consolation, he's very rich so... yeah. He may not look like a million bucks, but he does have them. In several offshore accounts.

Yandere Kita who somehow ended up as a mafia leader, probably inherited it as family business and he has like severe OCD so he wants everything done to perfection or so help you, you will 1000% end up 6 feet under. Mafia Kita who has this vision of you being the perfect wife, solely based om the one time you offered him your handkerchiefs because he had a nosebleed from stressing too much and now Kita thinks you're an absolute angel and he wont let you destroy that fantasy of his. Seriously. He will pick out your outfits, tell you how to act and all, punish you if he must, but he does love you.

Yandere Ushijima who is a farmer and has decided that the reader whose car broke down and came to his door asking for help, will now be his wife and be a countryside mom to many kids (u can't say no, okay? He wants a big family) and animals! But hey, he's a very caring husband and will massage your feet, give you baths and feed you his homegrown veggies and meals daily once you are round with his babies🥺

Yandere Bokuto who is now a popular politician and he needs an obedient wife to keep up appearances and play the "family man" image up. So he decides to threaten reader who had a one night stand with him, and Bokuto somehow has very intimate images and videos of you and he uses them to get you to marry him. And now he controls every aspect of your life and tells you to do exactly as he says, and he abuses this privilege more as he gets more powerful and you could only imagine the horrors he would inflict on you if he does actually win elections, but you can't run away because again- he has eyes and contacts everywhere.

[matty-bear]

Could you write a fluffy fic where nick is insecure because of the hate online and his boyfriend (the reader) comforts him?

I love your writing btw<33

Insecure [N.S]

type: request !

pairing: nick sturniolo x male!reader

warnings: SFW, fluff, angst, slightly suggestive ?? (these parts are towards the end) negative self image talk, mentions of hate, fat-shaming, and slurs (last two are not specified they’re just mentioned !)

summary: after coming over to visit nick, you immediately notice his off behavior. your boyfriend reassures you that nothing is wrong and that he’s fine but when he comes back crying after filming a car video with his brothers, the truth finally comes out 

notes: hope this fulfills your request ! i enjoyed writing this even tho it was quite upsetting :3 best believe that if i see someone being hateful towards nick i wont hesitate to clap back 🔥 some people need to grow up and stop hiding behind screens when they post hateful shit . they’re just pussies 😒

WC: 4675

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One thing you must know about Nick is that he is very expressive and is not scared of being himself. You could easily be able to tell how he was doing emotionally just by his facial expressions and body language. (This also meant that he was horrible at hiding things from you. This includes feelings and surprises and such) 

Which is why when you suddenly caught onto his off and quiet demeanor the day you came over to his place to hang out, you immediately knew something was wrong. 

 ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

It’s currently Thursday afternoon and you were gathering your belongings to head over to Nick’s. You knew that he and his brothers would be filming later today so you decided to head over to theirs as soon as possible. 

You also heavily missed your boyfriend even though you saw him two days ago. 

After slipping your headphones around your neck and making sure you have your phone in your possession, you grab your car keys and head outside. The sun immediately began to shine in your face the moment you stepped foot outside and you couldn’t help but squint as a result. After making sure your front door is locked, you walk to your car and get in the driver's seat. A soft huff escapes your lips as you start the car and adjust the AC with your right hand. When everything's to your liking, you finally start your short venture to the Sturniolo household. 

It only took 15 minutes until you were pulling up in the all too familiar driveway holding a black minivan. You can’t help the smile growing on your face as you hurriedly turn the car off and exit your vehicle. As you walk up to the front door, you take your phone out of your pocket to text Nick that you’re here. However, before you get the chance to open y’all’s chats, the door opens. 

You quickly lift your head, your eyes slightly wide, before you relax at the sight of Matt greeting you with a small smile. “Hey.” The brunette greets, stepping aside to let you in. 

��How’d you know I was here?” You ask as you step inside the house, the faint scent of fast food immediately filling your senses. 

“Heard your car pull up.” You hum faintly and nod your head at the male before the two of you start walking up the steps. “I smell food. What did y'all order?” 

“Chris was craving a ‘Mcdonalds' breakfast’ so I ordered some.” You can’t help but chuckle at the sight of Matt doing air quotations. “We have some leftovers so if you're hungry you can help yourself to whatever’s left.” 

“How much did you guys order if there’s leftovers?” An airy chuckle escapes your lips as you follow Matt to the kitchen, a single eyebrow raising as you glance at the two McDonald’s bags on the table. 

“Not much, just our regular. Nick hasn’t eaten yet so that’s probably why we have leftovers.” 

You quickly whip your head around to send Matt a worried expression as he excuses himself to go to the fridge. “Nick hasn’t eaten yet?” You ask as you open one of the bags. 

“Nope,” Matt replies with a soft huff. “He’s been in his room since this morning.” 

You hum softly as you close the bag you’re looking into. “This is Nick’s right?” When Matt looks over in your direction, you gesture to the bag in front of you. 

“Yup, that’s his.” 

“Alright, ima head up to his room and see if he’s hungry.” 

“Word. We’re going to film earlier than usual today so make sure he’s ready by five thirty.” 

“Will do.” Matt sends you a small smile before he grabs a root beer from the fridge and walks towards his bedroom. As the brunette enters his room, you make your way upstairs to go to Nick’s. The moment you arrive at your boyfriend’s door, your eyebrows furrow together when you don’t hear a single thing coming inside. Usually the male would be playing music out loud or watching a show but all you heard was silence. 

You hesitantly rest your hand on the doorknob and open the door with a soft creek, your features immediately getting illuminated by the LED lights in the room. 

“Nick?” You call as you step inside the room. You gently shut the door behind you as your eyes scan the room in search of your boyfriend. 

Where the hell is Nick?

“Nick~” You call again, dragging out his name as you set the bag in your hand down on the desk nearby. When you glance over at the closed bathroom door, you let out a sigh of relief when you see light creeping out from underneath the door. You quickly make your way over to the room and gently knock on the wood. “Nick? Are you in here?” 

The sudden sound of something clattering to the floor startles you and you instinctively take a step back. 

“Yeah, I- Hold on.” You hear Nick say, his voice muffled due to the shut door. More clattering runs through your ears before the faint sound of footsteps approaches the door. You quickly lift your head when the door opens and you can’t help the smile creeping onto your lips when you see Nick peek his head out from behind the door. 

“Hi, baby.” You greet softly. 

“Hi.” Nick breathes. Once the male fully opens the door, you quickly walk up to him and cup his face. You gently caress your thumbs over the redhead’s soft skin and forming stubble on his chin, your eyes momentarily shifting up to his blue irises.

“Have you eaten yet?” You ask, knowing the answer already as you land a quick peck on your boyfriend’s lips. At the redhead’s silence, you send the male a worried look and gently grab his chin with your thumb and pointer finger to make him look up at you. “Baby?” 

“I’m not hungry right now,” Nick mumbles, avoiding eye contact as he looks down at the hem of the sweater hanging on your shoulders. 

“You feeling sick or anything? It’s not like you to skip a meal.” As you set your hand on your boyfriend’s forehead to check his temperature, the boy quickly shakes his head. 

“No, I feel fine.” Nick sends you a small smile as you lower your hand. 

“Alright… Well, I brought you your food from the kitchen so if you’re hungry, it’ll be on your desk.” 

Nick hums softly and slowly peels out of your hold to walk to his bed. You can’t help but furrow your eyebrows at the male’s action and turn on your heels to watch the redhead climb into bed and bring his covers up to his shoulders. 

“Baby, what’s wrong?” You ask gently as you make your way over to Nick and take a seat on the mattress. Your boyfriend doesn’t respond and instead moves up to rest his head in your lap. He tilts his head a little so he can dig his face into your thigh, a heavy sigh escaping him as his shoulders drop. A frown makes its way into your lips as you gaze down at Nick. 

Something is definitely wrong but you know prying would get you nowhere. 

“Sweetheart, you wanna get up real quick so I can move into a more comfortable position?” Nick hums faintly and sits up to allow you to climb into bed. After comfortably situating yourself against the headboard, Nick immediately lays in your lap again. Your hand instinctively goes into the male’s red locks, your fingers carefully detangling some strands as they card through his hair. A content hum can be heard from the male in your lap as you quietly continue your actions.

“I missed you.’ Nick mumbles against your clothed thigh.

“I missed you too.” You say softly, a smile making its way onto your lips. 

“Can you stay with me tonight?” 

“Tonight?”

“Mh-hmm.”

“Yeah, of course. I’ll just have to go back to my place to get a change of clothes.” Nick quickly lifts his head the moment the statement leaves your lips. You peer down at the boy and raise an eyebrow at him when he narrows his eyes at you. “What? Did I say something wrong?”

“Don't act like you can't sleep in my clothes.” You chuckle softly as Nick lies back down. He takes a moment to dig his face in your thigh and comfortable before he continues, “I already put aside some stuff for you in the closet.”

“Did you now?”

Nick nods his head. “Your favorite hoodie is part of the pile. I seriously can't wrap my head around the fact that you can sleep in a hoodie without overheating.”

“I definitely overheat but I just like how your clothes smell.” 

“You're fucking weird for that.” Nick lets out a surprised laugh when you jab your hand into his side. You watch with narrowed eyes as the redhead rolls off your lap and sits up, the blanket that was once at his shoulders falling to his lap. “Don’t do that!”

“Don't call me weird.” 

“Well, you kinda are-” Nick gets cut off by you reaching over and grabbing his shoulders. The male lets out a small surprised yell as you force him down onto his back, his eyes widening when you hover over him. Before your boyfriend gets the chance to say anything, an anxious spew of giggles bubbles up his throat when you latch onto his sides. ‘Okay, OKAY! I take it back! Get off!”

“Are you just taking back what you said because I’m threatening you?”

“Well obviously… Now get your paws off me.”

A dramatic gasp escapes your lips as you gaze down at Nick. “PAWS?? Alright, you know what...”

“Wait, WAIT!’ Nick quickly grabs onto your hands and pries them off his body before you get the chance to do anything. “I’m messing with you!”

You hum lowly and narrow your eyes at the redhead. “Let go.” You state flatly.

“Promise not to touch me!” 

“I won’t touch you.” 

“Promise it!” 

You sigh and hang your head low, a smile creeping onto your lips. “Fine.” You huff. “I promise I won’t touch you.” 

“Okay…” Nick says slowly. He hesitantly releases his strong grip on your wrists and the moment you’re free, you plop down on top of him. Nick lets out a faint grunt the moment you do so and immediately wraps his arms around you. “God you're heavy.” You heavily sigh and dig your hand into Nick’s side the second that statement escapes his lips, your action immediately drawing panicked giggles from the male. 

“OKAY, OKAY!” The redhead exclaims through giggles. Nick begins to squirm underneath you and quickly grabs onto your shoulders. “You fucking liar knock it off!” Nick’s giggles ring through your ears as he curls his body around your hand, both his hands continuously shoving your shoulders to get you up and off him. You continue your actions for a few more seconds before you stop and wrap both your arms behind the redhead’s back. A large smile spreads across your lips as Nick heavily pants and throws an arm over his face, a few giggles still escaping his lips. 

“That’s low,” Nick mumbles. 

“You were being an ass.” You say with a shrug as you slip an arm out from underneath the male to fiddle with one of the strings of his hoodie. “You should be thanking me to be honest.” 

“THANKING YOU?!” You clamp your hand over Nick’s mouth at his loud exclamation. 

“No need to yell, I'm right here.” You scold softly. 

“Sorry,” Nick mumbles, his speech muffled due to your hand still being over his mouth. Once you remove your hand, the redhead huffs and frowns. “Again, thanking you?” 

“Yes, thanking me.” As you rest your chin on Nick’s chest, the latter stares down at you with a confused expression. “You were clearly upset when I came in.”

“Oh.” 

You lift your head slightly to lock eyes with Nick. “Is something wrong? You can tell me, you know. It’s not like I’ll judge.” You watch as Nick forces his lips into a straight line and averts his gaze to anywhere but you. After watching the male looking around the room aimlessly, you sigh softly and rest your head back down on his chest. “You don't have to tell me.” You say, your speech muffled due to the thick fabric of the hoodie covering Nick's body. 

“Sorry,” Nick mumbles, his hand gently resting on the top of your head. 

“Don’t apologize, there’s no need to. You can tell me whenever you’re ready.” You momentarily lift your head to land a quick peck on Nick’s lips before you return to lying on his chest. “By the way.” You start, earning a small hum from Nick. “Matt said to be ready by five thirty so you guys can film.” 

“Alright,” Nick says softly as he leans back against the pillow he’s lying on. “Can we nap real quick? You know, before I have to go?” 

“I was hoping you’d say that your warmth is making me tired.” You reply, your words slurring together as your eyes drift shut. You don’t even hear Nick’s response and only manage to feel his hand rubbing circles on your back before you drift off to sleep. 

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

LoveGame by Lady Gaga plays in your headphones as you make your way to the living room, a small pack of fruit snacks in your left hand and a can of coke in the other. You find yourself bopping your head along to the song, your lips mouthing the lyrics, as you seat yourself down on the sofa. 

The triplets have been out for about an hour and a half to film their new car video. You quickly became bored out of your mind being alone in the empty and silent house and you had to figure out a way to entertain yourself as you waited for the boys to come back. 

And that’s exactly what you’re doing right now. 

You shift your body a little so you're comfortably lying on your back before you rip open the fruit snacks. As you pop a few in your mouth, you fail to hear the front door opening, the loud music playing in your ears being the culprit. 

You also failed to see the triplets walk into the living room. 

That was until you felt a tap on your knee. You quickly sit up at the small touch and rip the headphones off your head, the music still somewhat audible as you rest them around your neck. You immediately make eye contact with Chris who looks down at you with a worried expression. 

“What’s wrong? Is everything alright?” You ask, an uneasy feeling settling in your stomach as you lock eyes with the male in front of you. 

Chris raises a hand to rub the back of his nape, his lips forming into a straight line before he replies, “Nick’s crying.” 

You feel your heart drop the moment the sentence escapes the brunette's mouth and you find yourself urgently standing up, the pack of fruit snacks and can of soda being long forgotten on the floor and couch cushion. 

“Where is he?” 

“Matt’s room.” You gently nod your head and make a break for the middle triplet’s bedroom, which is thankfully a few steps away. You knock on the door a few times to alert the people inside of your arrival before you let yourself inside. The moment you step foot inside, your eyes land on your boyfriend sitting on the edge of the bed and furiously rubbing his eyes. Matt is sitting on the left side of the male and pulls Nick into his chest, one of his hands immediately going to rub comforting circles on his back. 

You practically run over to the two boys and crouch down in front of Nick, a worried expression painting your face when you hear the male faintly sobbing. You momentarily shift your gaze from your boyfriend to Matt, who’s sharing the same worried and concerned look on his face before you turn back to Nick. You slowly set a hand on the latter’s knee and go to pull away when the male flinches at the sudden touch. 

“Baby?” You call softly, your thumb gently caressing Nick’s clothed kneecap. The redhead turns his head slightly and makes a small gap in between his fingers to look at you. “Can you move your hands, please? I wanna see your face, sweetheart.” 

Nick furiously shakes his head and goes back to tucking his head against Matt’s chest. You sigh faintly and lean forward to rest your chin on your boyfriend’s thigh. As you gaze up at the boy, you catch the redhead looking down at you, a larger gap being made between his pointer and middle finger. You manage to make out Nick’s irritated red eyes before he sits up and attempts to cover his whole face with one hand, the other reaching for yours to firmly hold. 

“Can you come up here, please?” Nick asks, his voice fragile and quiet as he squeezes your hand a few times. 

“Yes, of course.” You reply and quickly get up from your position. As you go to sit next to Nick, you make eye contact with Matt who’s gazing up at you. 

“Will you two be okay if I leave?” The male mouths. The moment you nod your head and ruffle Matt’s hair a little, the brunette slowly gets up from his spot on the bed and quietly exits the room. After ensuring the male shuts the door behind him, you take a seat next to Nick. The moment your boyfriend feels the mattress dip next to him, he immediately crashes into you, his face burrowing into your clothed chest. You slip your hand out of Nick’s hold to envelop the male in a tight embrace, your heart shattering into a million small pieces when you feel your shirt dampening. 

Nick slithers his arms around your torso, his nails digging into your back as he silently cries against you. You allow the male to get all his feelings out as you rub comforting circles on his back with one hand and card your fingers through his hair with the other. It took a few more minutes of comfort for Nick’s cries to subside and soft sniffles to emit from him. You wait for your boyfriend to remove himself from your chest and hesitantly look up at you before you look at him. 

“Oh, baby…” You mumble, your heart aching as you take in Nick’s puffy, red eyes and tear-stained cheeks. You cup the side of the redhead's face with one hand and keep the other on his back before you begin to gently caress the male’s damp cheek. “Are you comfortable with telling me what happened?” 

“Mh-hmm.” Nick hums, his eyes shutting as he fully leans into your palm. The male enjoys your delicate touch for a moment longer before he speaks up. “I saw some comments yesterday and they stuck to me. I saw more when we were filming today too. I’m usually able to handle hate comments because they’re fucking ridiculous and stupid but these hurt.”

“What were they saying if you mind me asking?” 

“Most were fat-shaming me and others were calling me slurs. I haven’t been called a slur in a while so I’m guessing that’s why it stuck. But you know how self-conscious and insecure I am about my body so seeing people nitpick at that stuff just…” Nick cuts himself off as more tears well up in his eyes. You frown deeply and quickly wipe the warm liquid escaping the redhead’s eyes before they cascade down his face. “It just made me feel more bad about myself.” 

“Sweetheart, can you do something for me?” You ask softly. Nick gently nods his head and sniffles as he wipes his eyes with the back of his hand. “Can you lay down? On your back?” 

“Mh-hmm…” Nick hesitantly hums and moves back on the bed so he’s no longer on the edge before he lays on his back. After the male shuffles a bit to get comfortable, you crawl up and reach your arm over to rest it on the side of Nick’s shoulder. After situating yourself so you're hovering over your boyfriend, you bite back the smile threatening to form on your lips as you take in Nick’s shocked and flustered expression. “If you want to make out, I refuse to do it in Matt’s room.” 

“We’re not gonna make out, hun.” 

“Then what are you doing?” 

“Can you just trust me?” 

Nick puts his hands up defensively and rests them on both sides of his head. You shake your head slightly before you lean down and begin to land soft pecks on Nick’s forehead. You slowly make your way down the side of your boyfriend’s face and make a trail of light kisses across his jaw, stopping near his right ear. You feel Nick shift underneath you, both his arms lowering and coming up to latch onto your shoulders. You take a glance over at your boyfriend and smile smugly when you see him squeeze his eyes shut, his lips forced into a thin line. You focus back on what you're doing and land a few kisses on the shell of Nick’s ear, a stifled chuckle escaping you when the male squeals softly and forces his ear against his shoulder. 

“What are you doing?” Nick giggles, his nails digging into your biceps. 

“Stay still.” You state, completely ignoring the redhead’s question as you continue your trail of kisses down the side of his neck. Nick subconsciously tilts his head back to give you more access to his skin as you litter his entire neck with kisses for a few more seconds. You stay on a specific spot near the side of your boyfriend’s neck for a moment and take his skin in between your teeth. 

“Baby,” Nick says warningly, a faint whine escaping his lips as you nibble on his skin. 

“I’m moving, I'm moving.” You mumble against his skin. You stay true to your words and begin a trail of kisses down Nick’s clothed chest. You shift down to continue to kiss down the redhead’s torso and both of his sides. “You know…” You start, lifting your head to make sure your boyfriend hears your voice clearly. “I love every single part of your body. Every inch of it. I find you so fucking perfect.” You lower your head back down to Nick’s hips, your lips continuing to leave a trail of pecks down his leg. 

You grab one of the male’s knees and push it up to allow yourself to leave longer kisses around your boyfriend’s thigh. You feel Nick tense, followed by his breath hitching, when you inch up closer to his thigh. When you get a little close to his crotch, you switch over to his other leg and repeat the same process you did moments ago. Once you get to Nick’s knee, you decide to tease the male a little by nibbling on his kneecap. The redhead lets out a surprised shout and immediately erupts into giggles as he pulls his leg away from your reach. 

“Sorry, I had to.” You apologize with a giggle. 

“Of course you and you. You can’t let me breathe for five minutes.” Nick huffs, his arms crossing over his chest. 

“Oh, please.” You latch onto Nick’s thigh and drag him back to his original position before you crawl up so you’re face-to-face with him. You send your boyfriend a small smile before you dip your face into his neck and start another trail of kisses down his shoulder and left arm. When you get to his wrist, you quickly do the same with the other arm. Before you lift your head, you nibble the skin on Nick’s shoulder and smile into his skin when he whines and shoves your shoulder. You pull back with a small chuckle and capture Nick’s lips for a quick kiss. When you pull back, you cup the side of his face with one hand and keep the other on the side of his shoulder to keep yourself up. 

“Baby?” You call as you begin to gently caress your boyfriend's cheek with your thumb. 

“Yeah?” Nick replies as he blinks up at you, a stupid smile on his lips as he leans into your touch. 

“Those people are fucking douchebags for leaving those comments. All they’re trying to do is tear you down and see you all down in the dumps. You don’t want them to win this stupid game, right?” Nick furiously shakes his head. “I know it’s hard to ignore all of the hate comments but I can guarantee that not a single one of these people will have the balls to say this shit to your face. And if one of them does, I will happily rock their shit because they have no right to say all these things about you. I think you are perfect in every way possible. I love your eyes, your nose, your smile, God how much I adore your smile, your tattoos, your hair, your arms which are getting a little buff if I may add.” 

When you remove your hand from Nick’s face to squeeze his bicep, the male smiles widely and lightly hits your arm. “I know I don’t see your bare body much since you like to have something covering your torso at all times but I am sure that you look fucking perfect.” You move your hand down and land a few pokes on Nick’s stomach. The sound of him laughing softly brings a smile to your lips and you quickly halt your actions when the male grabs your wrists. “Your laugh is perfect as well. It’s so cute and contagious.” 

“Alright…” Nick says, his voice trailing off as he looks to the side. 

“Do you not think so?” You ask, a single eyebrow-raising. Nick hesitantly shakes his head and looks at you. “Well, I think it’s perfect and I'm not taking a no for an answer.”  Nick sighs, knowing he can’t say anything that’ll change your mind and release you from his hold. When your wrists are free from his grasp, you lay down on top of the male and wrap an arm underneath him. “Also, one more thing.” 

“What is it?” Nick lifts his head to lock eyes with you. 

“I’m gonna post something on my story later to shut these fuckers up.” 

“y/n…” 

“You can’t change my mind.” You send Nick a large smile before you land a quick peck on his lips. After nibbling on his bottom lip, you pull back and rest your chin on his chest, and gaze into his eyes. Seeing that you’re staring intently at him, Nick grows flustered and covers his face with one hand and uses the other to softly push your face away. 

“Stop staring,” Nick mumbles. 

“I can’t help it, you're so pretty.” You can’t help but smile widely when Nick giggles and looks away. You gently pry the male’s hands away from his face and cup his face, the sight of his flustered face causing your smile to widen even more. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” 

“Mmm… Not as much as I do, I'm afraid.” 

“Really? You wanna bet on it?”

“Absolutely.” Nick hums softly and grabs the base of your neck to pull you close and crash his lips onto yours. You let out a small noise of surprise at the male’s sudden action however you quickly melt into the kiss. Before you allow yourself to get too absorbed in the kiss, you pull back. 

“Is that watermelon?” 

“Yeah.” 

“It tastes fucking amazing.” The second that sentence escapes your lips, you quickly plant your lips back on Nick’s to resume the small, yet somewhat heated make-out session. 

·:¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨:· TagList ·:¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨:·

@freshloveforthefit @nickuniversity @patscorner @frankdelreyy @sturnssan @kileybankzz @robins-scoop

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not telling my friends that I probably wont survive this year?

Trigger warning: mentions of terminal illness, medical malpractice, death.

💀🤫🤐 to find later

I know the general consensus for this type of thing is almost always that I should tell them. This is a little more complicated, but I might still be TA.

I (20s trans) have an illness that doesn’t always end with death. It’s usually manageable with some heavy medications. The problem is that I live in the US, where access to these medications is made almost impossible, especially if you’re poor. I lucked out for a few years and have been able to have access. I thought I was set for life, and then the dr who prescribed that med started being inappropriate and abusive. They won’t allow me to transfer to a different dr in their office and there are literally no other doctors where I live that cover this disease or will prescribe the medication for me. So, that access is ending very soon, and I have spent months trying to find a way around it but. Hey. The American medical industry genuinely sucks. I just found out that it’s 100% impossible for me to continue this medication with the way things are, and nothing else works like this class of medications.

What this means is things are going to get really bad for me, and then I will most likely die in a really unpleasant way. That’s the reality, and at this point there is no avoiding it. I tried, but there are no options. I’m still in the process of accepting it. It’s not going great.

The problem is, I can’t bring myself to tell anyone I know the full details. I’ve mentioned things are not looking good, but as far as most of my friend’s know I’m doing just fine.

The last time I was this unwell, it was before I was allowed access to these medications, newly diagnosed, and I was doing really poorly. When I told friends and mutuals about this, they called the cops to do a “wellness check” because they just assumed I was suicidal rather than actually that sick for some reason. I, a visibly trans person, was forced to allow a cop to come into my apartment to talk to me while I was trapped my bed because I was unable to get up and walk at that point. At the same time, I started getting messages on my personal blog telling me to shut up about my illness. A lot of messages to KMS already. I mean a lot of them. When I started to get better thanks to the meds, I had people tell me they were disappointed that I didn’t die. I had close friends ghost me or tell me I wasn’t worth it.

To say I’m traumatized about this kind of thing is putting it lightly. Years of therapy has not even touched most of that.

Now, I don’t have any rl friends. Being constantly sick made that hard, then the pandemic made it impossible. So all my friends are online and won’t be clued in to what’s happening unless I tell them outright. I would like to, because I hate the idea of vanishing on them. But I’m currently living in an even more unsafe area to have a “wellness check” done by the police and I just genuinely can’t bring myself to trust anyone with this level of personal ever again.

AITA for not telling them? Should I just suck it up and do it?

[moonstandardtime]

OFFICIAL ART COMMISSIONS POST!!!

BASE COSTS

SKETCHES / SMALL DOODLES -- $10

BUSTS / PROFILE PICTURES -- $15

HALF BODY -- $20

FULL BODY -- $30

FULL PIECE -- $38

Communication will be over Discord, or Tumblr DMs if necessary. DM me here or use Ko-fi to start!

previews + more info under cut (blood/gore warning for one of the previews (its part of a screenshot, so not detailed))

WILL DO:

Humanoids

System alters

OCs

Fanart

NSFW (with limits)

Gore (probably not anatomically accurate)

WONT DO (with exceptions):

Super high detail designs (unless you have a detailed ref/are okay with less detail)

Animals

Complex scenes with over 3 characters

GENERAL GUIDELINES:

ALL OF WHAT FOLLOWS, AS WELL AS PRICES, IS SUBJECT TO CHANGE.

Payment via Ko-fi or Cashapp.

Costs are loosely based on an hourly wage. I'm open to minor negotiations, but don't expect discounts.

Payment is up front. If either of us needs to cancel at any point, I will provide (NOT FULL) refunds depending on where I am in the process.

Timeframe is around a week, give or take a few days, depending on the complexity of the ask. My ADHD is awful, so PLEASE pester me!

I need a ref! I'm not great at visualizing from text descriptions, so if you could provide references and a general sketch of what you want, that would be great! It doesn't need to be good at all--what I have in mind is really nothing more than a stick figure scribble. It just needs to get the idea across somehow.

I will work with you and talk back and forth as I work on the sketch! I will also check in throughout the process to make sure everything is going as you wish.

You can ask for a specific style! Simply provide an example of a piece I've done in the past. You can see my art on my tumblr -> https://moonstandardtime.tumblr.com/tagged/my%20art

PLEASEEE COMMUNICATE!! Thank you!

SPECIFICS:

REFUNDS:

- If you commission a piece and you cancel it, you will be refunded for what I haven't made significant progress on. For example, if you cancel a full-body with color, simple shading, and a simple background, and I've finished the lineart and started flat colors, you will be refunded $20 out of $55. You will recieve the unfinished piece.

- If you cancel a commission before I start it, you will recieve a full refund.

- If you cancel a commission before the intial sketch is finalized, you will recieve a 90% refund and the sketch.

REVISIONS:

- You can change as much as you want during the initial sketch. Anything after may come with a fee.

- If you want something changed late into the process, the fee will be increased.

- If it's too late, I may not be able to change it.

COPYRIGHT & USAGE:

ON MY SIDE:

- I reserve the right to cancel and refund the order at any time for any reason.

- I retain all copyrights over the commissioned artwork.

- I will NOT claim the intellectual property (IP) of the commissioned artwork (your characters are still yours, etc.)

- I will NOT profit further from the commissioned artwork unless you (the customer) break any of the terms.

- I reserve the right to post the commissioned artwork online and in my portfolio..

ON YOUR SIDE:

- You may upload the commissioned artwork on any website and social channels.

- You may NOT make profits from the commissioned piece (reselling, redistributing, uploading to POD-services, making prints for selling, etc.)

- You may NOT alter the commissioned artwork without my consent.

- You retain the rights to the intellectual property (IP).

- You may NOT use the commissioned artwork for commercial purposes.

- The following is considered copyright infringement:​

- Reproducing/using the copyrighted artwork commercially - means making money off it in any way not excluded from these terms.

- Claiming the artwork as your own.

- Altering the artwork without my consent.

[majaloveschris]

You know that people know the Carlisle address too, right? They have known it for years now, thanks to Tara, and thanks to a few people here, there are other pictures online too about it. That's why I said that the whole privacy and safety reason sounds bullshit, since people already know that address too. They know everything about that house, just like they did about the Concord one. 

I think it’s because the Carlisle house’s address is less known than the Concord one. No one knows the address unless you go looking for it (I hope people don’t) but AB posted from the Carlisle house before too. It was obviously they’re both trying to hint she was living with him by trolling from that house too. I saw on other blogs that people would drive by the concord house to see if he was home or to see if they were together or take pictures near his driveway. He honestly probably just got tired of it and decided he wanted to move. And as a woman as much as I dislike AB we shouldn’t be talking about her uterus so openly or wish a miscarriage on her if this is real. I do think their relationship is for the media because I do live in MA (I live in Acton a few towns away from Chris) and people do talk about him and from what I do hear he is always out alone or with his family when he’s home. I never met him but my friend has because she works at a bagel shop he goes too (I wont say the name) but she said he always does go alone or is with Dodger. His order is a toasted plain bagel with cream cheese and an apple juice sometimes an orange juice if anyone is curious. And he always puts a 20 dollar tip in the jar as well. She said Chris has always been so kind and respectful especially when there’s a line and his food is a little late.

Did she? I mean, I know that those pictures with Joana were rumored to be taken in that house, but I don't think there has been a single picture that was actually proven to be taken there. 

And those people who come here and say those things, or those people who allegedly went to his Concord home, very well know the Carisle one's address since they know where to search for it, or they saw more than enough pictures of it here, to be able to find it. It is very well known among the fandom, especially since the whole L&D renovations and will they move there/will they not debate.

I'm not saying there wasn't a single person who went there to spot him, but I also wouldn't believe those stories from anons. Some people make up stories like those to prove a point. We see that some people are capable of making up things just to prove they are right. They say they go there and she is usually not there, or they say they go there and saw them together. Both of those could be made up, only to prove the narrative they believe in.

Him moving to Carlisle won't be any better than him staying in Concord. Poople will keep bothering him, and if they were actually going to his Concord home to check on him and see if Alba is there, they'd do the same thing, just going to Carlisle this time. 

I agree that people should stop being so obsessed with her uterus and whether she is a pregnant or not, and while I also don't like her, I'd never wish miscarriage upon anybody, and nobody should do that either. 

P.S.: His bagel order sounds delicious.

[thequietkid-moonie]

Best friends w/ King

[ HEADCANONS ] [ One Punch Man ]

⚠️ This contain a little bit of spoilers

I have to admit it, when i fisrt met King i didn't liked him much because of how everyone say he was the strongest person alive, but when I get to met him for real broooo that man!! haha that man is my bro, like, can I be his friend? Pretty please?

Getting to be King's friends is quite difficult, first of all it has to be before he end up involved in all the mess with the hero's society and be named the strongest man alive, otherwise he wont be able to let anyone near in fear that the farce is uncovered, as well it has to be either that you two share interest or at least aren't going to judge him in the slighest, not even think about it (he is already embarrassed about the idea of someone finding out about how he likes dating simulatores and cute characters so if someone he slowly gets close to him judge him is going to hit him hard)

But once you manage to become close enough to become his best friend you two will have quite the friendship!

King is a nerdy boy, he prefers to just stay in home and play videogames rather than going out (specially after become an S hero), so most of the time you two just text each other and play online together, he prefers to do it all by himself and he doesn't really mind playing alone but having a best friend with who play videogames makes him happy too

Just as King prefers to stay in home and play videogames it become quite common that you are invited over his place to play too (specially if you bring snacks), he isn't quite used to have friends over and his house is a mess but you are always welcome!

Even if you dont okay much about videogames or even are bad at it he doesn't mind much, he is more than willing to explain how to play and help you improve on your gamer skills, even tries to comfort you for all those times you lose your matches if it really affects you. In the other hand, if you already play videogames then is probably that you two are constantly competing, using all the combos you two know in hopes to defeat the other (all pure agressive fun)

Being King's best friend also mean knowing the truth about his hero work and even having to be there to comfort him. He has always being an unlucky guy, always in the bad places at the bad hour, somehow he always ended up being attacked by kaijus what lead him to be a nervous shaking wreck, he never liked real monsters and had no strength nor willpower to fight against them so more than once you had found him in the middle of a crisis because he just almost got killed! You aren't forced to help him calm down nor comfort him but if you do that will only make him trust in you even more and bring you two closer, indirectly seaking your comfort or just your presence to distract him after getting a bad trip put of his house

Also, once he recived the title of the strongest man alive (and he was too coward to deny it) you will know immediatly (after he finished processing the whole thing of course), he will understand if you judge him and thinks he is an idiot but you are the only one person he can count on so he feels the need to tell you, he just hopes that you'll still be there to help him overcome all this situation, even if he has the right to don't atend most of the calls of the fundation since he has the highnest position he can't avoid being reconigzed when he goes out, and it could come in handy have a moment to just relax and be himself with his best friend after that

After he met Saitama and they become friends too then your little group of friends just grow, Saitama doesn't take things too serious and, honestly? he is just happy to have another friend with who play games and doesn't bother him nor want to fight with him, so he imediatly become your friend too. You'll get to know the truth about Saitama being the real person for what King has being reconigzed for, but seeing both at peace with the topic make it easier to just brush it off or even think that is better to left it be, at the end is just winning another friend with who play videogames and just relax (he may not be as close as King as you are yet but the friendship grows slowly, and since the start Saitama shows to be trust worthy and a good friend)

[aspd-culture]

hey, so i recently did some research and took the mmpi and a few other tests that i knew were well regarded as diagnostic tools by professionals, as well as self reflection and matching myself with criteria. (all tests found free probably illegally online via links on reddit cause i dont got that kind of money) and it appears that i have aspd.

I consider myself a good person, i try to always be good to everyone which is a lot of effort because it’s something i dont do naturally, and imo that makes me better than a “normal person” but i digress

finding this out, while relieving in the way that it explained a lot of stuff, has also made me feel more alienated. i cant tell anyone im close to because theyll just hear “sociopath” and think i dont care about them or ive been manipulating them this whole and leave, and i wont be able to find new people because im bad at connecting with others so ill be alone. and no one online with aspd seems to have my experiences (also a lot of the online spaces are filled with pwBPD and pwNPD using our tag lmao and i dont relate to them either obviously) so i feel alien here too.

I dunno, finding this out was helpful in some ways but in others i just feel worse.

I guess it’s a net good now that i know that my way of thinking and going through life doesnt make me a bad or manipulative person its just how i naturally think bc of my disorder, and as long as im choosing to be good to people it shouldn’t matter. i just wish it wasnt so stigmatized to have, and i wish people would realize that i am capable of being a good person just as much as they are, i just have my own way of doing it.

I actually dont get why having it Come Naturally is such a good thing anyway, isnt it more meaningful if someone isnt “good by nature” but actively chooses to be anyway? I think it means less and is less reliable if someone is good by nature because then it means that they don’t actually know how or why theyre doing it, and if they have a moment of fluctuations in their empathy then they could be worse than any of us disordered folk who had to learn they why and how of this stuff.

lmfao ok uh sorry for having a character arc in your ask box you can delete if you want idc

No, no worries! I'm sorry it took me this long to get to honestly because yeah I agree with this - it is in my opinion objectively better to do good things by choice, even when it's hard for us. And, in fact, the NTs feel that way too but they don't like that it applies to us.

It's a whole cliche people like to throw around, that it isn't easy to be a good person and that the only truly good people are the ones that doing it when it's hard too - that the easiest thing isn't always the right thing, all of that. They just don't like that those things apply to us too and therefore we are very much their definition of good people.

The world has so much stigma against us, and I'm sorry you're struggling with it, that any and all of you are. We shouldn't be treated this way as a result of us being mistreated as kids. It's not our fault, but we're labeled and demonized anyway. And it sucks, and even though it says everything about them and nothing about us, people believe them bc they're so used to thinking we're the scary ones so we must be wrong.

That seems to be slowly changing, and I hope I (and you) are around to see when it does.

Plain text below the cut:

No, no worries! I'm sorry it took me this long to get to honestly because yeah I agree with this - it is in my opinion objectively better to do good things by choice, even when it's hard for us. And, in fact, the NTs feel that way too but they don't like that it applies to us.

It's a whole cliche people like to throw around, that it isn't easy to be a good person and that the only truly good people are the ones that doing it when it's hard too - that the easiest thing isn't always the right thing, all of that. They just don't like that those things apply to us too and therefore we are very much their definition of good people.

The world has so much stigma against us, and I'm sorry you're struggling with it, that any and all of you are. We shouldn't be treated this way as a result of us being mistreated as kids. It's not our fault, but we're labeled and demonized anyway. And it sucks, and even though it says everything about them and nothing about us, people believe them bc they're so used to thinking we're the scary ones so we must be wrong.

That seems to be slowly changing, and I hope I (and you) are around to see when it does.

[chainoftalent]

A,,Any chance of a Yandere Profile for Kokichi?? 👉👈 👀

Have I really not done one for Kokichi? I could have sworn I did, probably just remembering somebody else's.

Kokichi Yandere Profile

What are they generally like? Lucid, aware? Obsessive? How do they behave?

Kokichi is very aware of what he's doing, as the Ultimate Supreme Leader he can't afford to not be aware of everything he does and thinks. He knows full well he's obsessive and he needs to be careful, he just doesn't think it's anyone's business.

How likely are they to kidnap their darling? How quickly will they do so?

Solidly depends on how much you give back to him, if you try and pull away from him, or don't like him, and he can't change your mind and make you stay then you're being taken to a secondary location. However if you're friendly, kind to him, listen to him, spend a lot of time with him, and put him above basically everyone then he's more likely to let you be more free range.

How difficult is it to escape from them? How do they keep you restrained? How do they deal with attempted escape? 

You're not escaping from Kokichi, at first you've only got minor restraints to make things easier on everyone, but Kokichi's done this rodeo like 9 times before he's gotten to you he knows what he's doing. He knows how to escalate and punish that best work, while he might be more forgiving of the first few escapes as that's just nature, that doesn't mean he'll ever let you fully get away with it, he won't look weak in front of you, not when he needs you to accept him as your leader. Plus getting out means getting past DICE and while they may empathize from their own experiences in your place they won't help you leave.

How easy are they to trick, deceive, or manipulate?

HA. HA HA HA HA. It's KOKICHI, and you've got his ATTENTION, good fucking luck you'll NEED IT.

How lenient are they? What privileges can you have, and what will you be denied?

He's used to this like I've stated before, he knows how to straddle this line. You'll have your own room with a connected bathroom though no windows, at the start its mostly just a long ankle chain that gives enough movement to move around and to the bathroom without issue or help. This also lets you shower and do personal grooming without his help, unless he wants to help you to further your affection for him by brushing your hair or doing your makeup. Your food and clothes are all supplied by Kokichi's whims, but you'll often have multiple options unless you've earned a punishment. Though you may wish he took a bit more privileges when you find out he's fully intending to make you exercise to stay healthy in your room, he is making you do jumping jacks with a chain around your leg, what the hell dude.

You wont be able to leave your room without him being there, or go online, or know the time. You won't even be able to guess because food seemingly comes randomly and with no real pattern to how long it feels. He's fully intending to confuse you on how long its been. He's found its easier if most things for them are normal as usual with a few key things to throw them off and keep them from being fully comfortable without Kokichi. Conditioning, not just for your hair!

What kind of rules do they have? What kind of punishment would they use?

You have to follow DICE rules, but beyond that you have to listen to him, not be stupid, not give anyone outside him or DICE too much attention, don't try to escape, don't tell anyone, tell Kokichi the truth always unless it's funny.

Punishments are usually more mental then physical, nagging you for failing and how disappointed he is, along with a removal of things you like from your room. Say goodbye to the PS5!

How do they deal with rivals, or perceived rivals? Will they get rid of them? Will they kill them themselves, or find another way?

Even as a yandere, DICE's no kill rule stands strong. He won't maim rivals, just bother them until they can't take it anymore. Legos everywhere, needles in shoes, stealing their credit card, it's a death of a thousand cuts.

How easy is it to make them mad? What does their anger look like?

Not easy, it's easy to make them pretend to be upset and guilt trip the hell out of you. Actually mad though takes quite some time or hitting very specific buttons. Kokichi has a bit of a temper though, so when he does get angry he gets VERY angry, and the only reason he doesn't hurt you is he has enough of control of himself to leave the room slamming the door behind him. Do not push him past that.

Do they see you as above them, beneath them, or equal to them?

Beneath you but in an affectionate way, a new beloved minion.

How determined are they for you to love them? How hard will they try to make it happen? Or are they content just having you?

Very determined, you will love them, you will join DICE, you will be his heart and soul, he will have your loyalty.

Bonus: Is there anything that makes them unique, in comparison to other yanderes?

The fact he's capable of maintaining multiple obsessions, all of DICE is his obsession and he can and will find new people to obsess over while still obsessing over you and the rest of DICE.

General perverseness: how sexual of a person are they? What’s their drive like? How touchy do they get? Do they have any reservations about sexuality?

Very low sex drive and honestly very little interest in it, asexual king. If you were into it he doesn't mind being your stone top, but beyond that? Eh.

How forceful are they? Do they care about your willingness?

Not interested unless you are, so unless you want to roleplay that, he doesn't care to do anything like that

What sort of kinks or fetishes do they have, or would they fill?

If you are going to have him fuck you or just do nonsexual kink, he's really into things that don't involve a mess and a show of dominance. Things like Shibari, or Collars, or Human Furniture. His most intense one is body modification stuff though, you let him pierce your ears and put in earrings he chose and he is going to be paying INTENSE attention to you with wide blown out eyes.

How do they feel about pregnancy or babies? Do they want them?

Not overly interested, it's already busy around DICE headquarters, maybe when he's older he might want a few kids with the members of DICE who can have kids

What kind of (nsfw) punishments would they use?

They wouldn't unless you were someone like Miu, if you were like Miu then he is going to edge the hell out of you.

What body parts of their darling do they like the most?

Kokichi likes hands, how clever, quick, and sleek they are. He also really enjoys powerful lean legs, he's very much into traits that make you good at crime.

[midnight-pluto]

og master post

sooo im quitting, thank you all for everything throughout these past 2 years and roll credits!

kidding, that isn’t all i have to say but thats just the gist of it and i dont wanna crowd up the feed too much.

im not quitting due to lack of motivation, peer pressure from people ik irl or any hate whatsoever. im quitting simply because i simply want to focus on my studies, and its been difficult recently trying to achieve a balance of somewhat consistent updates and high grades.

i still love writing, i actually dream of being an author, and probably still will. my “quitting” is sorta like an indefinite hiatus, i may post something when i have the time but it doesn’t mean ill be coming back for sure.

i’ll probably still be online, just not as often or active in posting (like i ever was 💀) so maybe if u are a fellow writer, i’ll be seen liking ur works! i might be more active on wattpad however, just reposting the stuff i have on here though when i find the time.

as for my inbox, it will most likely be closed since i don’t believe i won’t have any time to answer anything. i am so sorry that i wont be able to contribute my voice about others in gaza and will do my best to reblog anything i see in my feed when i do come back online.

and i would also like to thank everybody who has been here with me on this two year journey on tumblr whether your from back in my old coffee smau days, or just because of my one shots. i am so amazed and grateful to each individual following me and liking my posts.

thank you once again everyone, i hope you all have a lovely rest of your day/night.

— rin <3

[johken]

Introduction

This is a NSFW tumblr

No age in bio / pin = block

(its not hard come on)

DNI:

Minors

Ageless profiles

Ped0s

Zionists

Fascists

Anti Trans

Anti Queer

Feeders

Forced Fem

Anyone who wants to soap box about kink

Currently training:

@goodprairiegirl

About me:

I am a cis, pan 23 year old guy living in New Zealand who has been domming online and in person for slightly over 4 years now.

I am polyamorous with two different partners who aren’t on the platform and you probably wont hear much about them but they exist and I adore them all the same.

In the real world I am a post graduate student studying a Masters of Computer and Information Science, I enjoy reading, cooking, and politics. I am a Socialist and believe in doing practical good in this world as best I can

Ask and DM / Kink details below \/

Asks and DMs:

Open to chat with folks in dms or receive asks, do note that since I'm in NZ time zones can be weird (+12/+13 GMT).

Please note I'm not a kink machine, I am a whole person and am not always up to domming, if you don't respect then you will be blocked

Kink things:

Risk Aware Consensual Kink (RACK)

I am someone who practices Risk Aware Consensual Kink otherwise known as RACK.

The core belief of RACK being that participants of kink must be aware of the risks; be able to name and know how they will be mitigated. without this knowledge I don’t believe someone can fully and truly consent to a scene or act.

While this being the case I do acknowledge that RACK does have gaps in its criteria much like its predecessor S.S.C. and its further iterations like PRICK

Kinks

As mentioned I have been domming for a bit now and have experience benefiting that. the following is a list of some of my favorite kinks. The below list is absolutely not exhaustive so if its not on my limits below and your looking to explore feel free to shoot me a message and we can chat

CNC

Blackmail

Impact

Corruption

Primal

Orgasm Control

Dumification

TPE

Hucow

Public play

Limits:

Extreme gore

Scat

Blades Being used on a body

Needles

Non consensual exposure (this includes exposure to third parties)

Race play

[undead-discourse]

genuinely have to wonder what these people who are so staunchly anti non-offending paraphiles want to happen to said paraphiles. like... what, do you want them to be killed for their thoughts they cant control? you think they deserve to die because theyre mentally ill? do people with homocidal intrusive thoughts deserve to die too, for an act they have not and likely will never commit? i hate to break it to you, but paraphilias are way more common than you think, and the people who have them are humans just like you. some of them seemingly come from nowhere, but a lot of them stem from trauma, which yall dont like to think about because it reminds you that if things just went a little differently, you couldve ended up like the inhuman, irredeemable monsters you advocate for the murder of. either way, its literally not something that the paraphile can control. fundamentally its unlikely any of them will ever be able to shirk their attractions. they can, however, just like you, control their actions. they are people with mental illnesses so stigmatized that its socially acceptable to publicly call for their slaughter. if you fancy yourself someone who thinks that people can be reformed and rehabilitated, someone who identifies as a prison abolishionist or an anarchist, you cannot also advocate for the involuntary killing of people with mental disorders. and you cannot perpetuate this culture of shame and fear and hostility, because all it does is push paraphiles who desperately need help further into isolation, away from the help that they need, and closer to actually offending. if someone is outed as a paraphile, their entire life is ruined. all of their connections are severed. theyre met with constant active hostility for something they never asked for and something they cannot control. so why, then, would a paraphile ever feel comfortable asking for help? how could they ever feel like they can reach out to a professional or even just to their friends and family when the risk is so high? when theyre told that theyre going to hurt people no matter what anyway?

full disclosure, im a paraphile. i wont specify anything beyond that. but for the longest time i really did feel like an irredeemable monster who was doomed to hurt others, that it was only a matter of time. that mindset, unsurprisingly, is not very conducive to recovery. it was only when i found other paraphiles online, learned i wasnt alone, that i didnt have to feel like the only option was death, that i finally felt like i could take control of myself. the isolation was the biggest hindrance to that. feeling like i was entirely alone in the world aside from people who had committed heinous acts, because the paraphiles who havent obviously cant talk about it. except they do, in small corners of the internet, where they still face incredible harassment and shame. still, knowing i was in the company of good people and knowing that my attraction wasnt some conscious choice on my part that made me into an inherent monster helped majorly. i didnt choose to grow up in the environment that i did. i didnt choose what i was exposed to as a kid. i didnt choose how any of that would affect me. i didnt choose to be a paraphile. but i am choosing to be a good person despite it, and im choosing to let other paraphiles know that they can do the same. i know there are some reading this. youre not alone, you can get help, and you can choose to be a fantastic person. youre not doomed. you dont have to die to keep others safe.

to summarize: paraphiles are human beings with mental illnesses just like many of you. and just like you, they need help and support, but its incredibly difficult to get that when the public opinion on them is generally "you deserve to die no matter what." we are incredibly common. you probably know a paraphile. and if that deeply upsets you on a moral level, i hope you know thats the reason why paraphiles hide it and just get worse and worse.

paraphiles are always going to be here no matter how hard you wish they were all dead. thats just a fact. so you can keep making graphic threats against mentally ill people, literally only causing further harm to them and to others, or you can show compassion and a genuine desire to see things get better by at the very least not perpetuating obvious anti-recovery, pro capital punishment, pro thought crime propaganda.

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[gorbo-longstocking]

HIIIIIII life update: im gonna be taking a bit of a hiatus from writing fanfiction for who knows how long, probably until the fixation hits again and i cant be controlled, but truthfully my job era has made me realize that i CANNOT be working retail for the rest of my life. so, ive decided to write something original and do something with it. hopefully publish it. im nervous to say that out loud because i feel like im overestimating my abilities, but ill never know until i try. im hoping to be able to build a future doing something i really genuinely love, but i REALLY gotta lock in on writing it so it. because i have a hard time actually finishing things.

i wont be posting it anywhere online because that would make getting published hard, which is the end goal, and id hate to delete it after having it up. man idk that just doesnt sit right with me. im kind of sad my feedback will be limited due to this choice, and also because i REALLY love sharing my writing and im impatient. but hopefully the end goal will be well worth it.

if anyones curious about the project im working on, feel free to ask! i would be more than happy to talk about it. im hesitant to just come out of the gate blabbering because its so left field from fanfiction and likely not what yall followed me for. i do fully intend to finish every fic ive ever started, i just gotta think about my future a little bit. get me out of retail for the love of god.

but that’s the update! if im radio silent for a while, thats what im working on. i feel weirdly guilty talking about it because i feel like im abandoning (im not actually abandoning it i prommy) stuff yall are actually interested in, in favor of something new.