#why did i have to drop it when it was literally full and thus the heaviest drop

[mintyvoid]

why do things stop being made.

why can't i continue to get a thing years later i hate this

[iveantive]

prompt: Yunjin thinks she hears a ghost (its not)

or

bbangsaz is going through some turmoil so Minji lets Yunjin hit, and Kazuha is there too

TW: g!p, anal, anal fingering, spit as lube, handjobs, locker room sex, masturbation in the shower, voyeurism, crying, degradation

If there was one place where the le sserafim girls could be found, it would be the gym. It was really no secret that the success they’ve been able to achieve throughout their career thus far could be partially attributed to their fit physiques. 

This is precisely why it was no surprise that the two strongest, or as some others would say, the best bodies out of the group, were at the hybe gym at 2 a.m. They had just finished up a late-night dance practice, and instead of heading back to the dorms with the rest of their group, the pair had opted to get a late-night lifting session in. It was normal for the pair to be seen together up at night at putting in those last few reps. I mean, hell, it was their part of their jobs to be doing this. They used to hate having to work out after their regular daily schedules that were already jammed full of various performances and dance practices. As time went on, though, it became essential for them to build their friendship. It was just something about the late-night exhaustion, pushing themselves to their limit together, that made their friendship grow stronger just as much as they were physically. 

Yunjin had been finishing up her last few reps when she looked a few feet over to Kazuha, still in the middle of hers. She let out a satisfied grunt as she finished her last rep, setting her weights down with a thud. She got up and made her way over to the younger girl. 

“Ya, Zuha, I’m gonna head to the locker room for a shower.” Yunjin slapped Kazuha in the back, halting her current set of bicep curls. 

“Dude, what the hell? You made me lose count. Now I have to restart,” she huffed. Yunjin let out a hushed laugh in response. 

“Aw, poor Zuzu can’t count,” Yunjin mocked, patting Kazuha on the head in the process. Kazuha rolled her eyes. She was tired and didn’t care to banter with Yunjin right now. She just wanted to finish her workout and go home. 

“Whatever, I’ll meet you in there when I’m done.” Kazuha whipped her head, making Yunjin retract her hand. 

“Great! See you, Zuha!” Yunjin gave the younger girl one last slap on her back for good measure before running off towards the locker room. Of course, not before she heard Kazuha drop her weights in a frustrated groan. 

Yunjin walked into the locker room, humming a melody to a song she couldn’t for the life of her get out of her head. She made her way to the locker she had stored her belongings in, opening it up and ruffling her stuff around, making some room. She took the towel she brought with her out before she began to strip off her clothes and toss them into the locker.

She started to make her way over to the showers before hearing something that made her stop humming and stood frozen in her spot. It was a sound she couldn’t quite pinpoint, but whatever was making that sound was growing louder and louder. 

Maybe the ghost stories that she had been told when she was a trainee weren’t a hoax, after all, she pondered. Yunjin's body started to shake in anxiety. What kind of ghosts haunt locker rooms, she thought to herself, as for some reason, despite the pit in her stomach growing, she walked closer to the strange sounds. Until she realized it, the sounds she had been hearing were, in fact, not coming from a ghost at all. 

It was the sound of moaning. 

She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Matter of fact, she tucked a few strands of hair behind her ears (as if that was what was hindering her hearing) to see if her ears were deceiving her. But there it was again, another low moan followed by a string of breathy whimpers. 

She facepalmed herself. How the fuck did she not notice the fact that somebody else was in there. The shower was literally on, for fucks sake. She groaned to herself now, hearing how loud the crashing of water could be heard sounding throughout the locker room. 

However, she had to admit she was curious. Who the hell would be jerking off at nearly 3 a.m. in the hybe locker room, out of all places? 

She contemplated for a few moments before making up her mind on her next plan of action. Hanging her towel on a nearby hook, she drew open the curtain that had been dividing her and the perpetrator, Being faced with someone who seemingly hadn’t heard her come in judging by the fact the person hadn’t turned around. But, from where Yunjin was standing, she could tell they were a girl (thank god) and that the said girl was only a bit shorter than herself. 

And as Yunjin's gaze became fixated on the girl's body, her eyes couldn’t help but falter lower. The unidentified girl was stroking her cock, and a thick one at that. Under the water of the shower were her back muscles tensing with every pump of her hand. 

“F-fuck, Hanni,” Yunjin heard the girl let out a choked moan. Upon hearing that slip, Yunjin knew exactly who it was. 

It was Minji. 

Of course, it was. Yunjin once again mentally punched herself. She and Kazuha had just come into the gym as Minji was finishing up. And she had thought the younger girl had left a while ago, but clearly, she hadn’t. If Yunjin had to guess, Minji had to have been in here trying to get herself off for the past forty-five or so minutes. Based on the current groans of frustration she was letting out, she hadn’t been very successful. 

It was relatively known amongst their inner circle of female idols that Minji had the hots for Hanni for well as long as she could remember. Having trained with the New Jeans members herself, even if her training period with them wasn’t long, Yunjin always made note of the way Minji would look at Hanni with puppy eyes. And it seemed that sentiment hadn’t gone away even a bit over the past few years. Judging by the state of the young girl, it had only gotten worse. 

Having had her fun gawking at the poor girl who, somehow too deep into her own head, hadn’t noticed her presence. Yunjin decided she wanted to have a bit more fun. So, she took a couple of steps closer to Minji and loudly cleared her throat. 

Minji's eyes immediately shot open, taking in who was in front of her, recognizing exactly who it was, only making her panic even more. Losing her footing, she started to slip on the puddles of water around her. Till she felt the person in question's hand on her shoulder, keeping her a bit more stable. Minji kept her gaze firmly on the ground. She didn’t have the guts to look at Yunjin. 

“S-sorry” Was all Minji was able to get out. 

Yunjin laughed. 

“What do you have to apologize for? We all have those urges sometimes.” She rubbed Minji's shoulder, Yunjin's gaze still boring into her. 

“Especially with your busy schedule, I can’t blame you for being all worked up” Yunjin looked Minji up and down, seeing that her cock was still very much hard. Making her smirk. 

“But, I have to say Minji. Jerking off in the locker room? Didn’t know you were that kind of girl.” Yunjin leaned in closer to her ear. 

“Y-yeah, th-the dorm. U-uh n-not muc-” The younger girl muttered.

“Privacy.” Yunjin finished Minji's sentence for her. 

Minji nodded. 

“Well, you have all the privacy in the world now,” Yunjin whispered in her ear. 

“How about you let me help you? Just for today.” She dragged her hand down from the younger girl's shoulder, down her toned abs, till her fingers were resting on them. 

“I-I don’t know, I’m with Hanni.” 

Yunjin laughed again.

“Yeah, I know. I’ve had my fair share of her, too. But she doesn’t have to know about this.” She dragged her hand lower, wrapping her hand around Minji's hard length. 

“This is okay, right, Minji?” Yunjin’s tone was soft and low, her words tickling Minji’s ear as she spoke.

“Y-yeah,” Minji gasped. 

That was all the permission Yunjin needed to start pumping her length in fast strokes. She knew the younger girl had been close to cumming. Her cock throbbing, her tip an angry red as it leaked precum all over her hand. 

Her own cock had decided to awaken throughout this time. She could feel it twitching between her legs. Pressing her body closer to Minji, she rested her chin on her shoulder, watching her own hand wrapped around the younger, tugging at her length. 

Minji's face was contorted in pleasure, biting her lip with her eyebrows furrowed. Yunjin pressed her body closer. Her cock pressed into the back of the younger, she knew Minji could feel it, but she didn’t do anything about it. Not that she really could for now, anyway. 

Yunjin drew her hand from the base to the tip of Minjis cock, pressing her finger into the slit of her cock, rubbing the sensitive tip in slow circles. Eliciting in, the younger let out a loud moan. 

“You’re so cute like this, Minji.” Yunjin purred into her ear. 

Yunjin continued to rub her finger into the slit, her circles around the tip becoming faster and faster, making the younger girl whine even louder. Minji had started bucking into her fist. The older girl tightened her grip around her in response. The sound of wet skin slapping could be heard throughout the locker room. The combination of the shower water crashing onto them, with Yunjin’s hard pumping, was working in her favor. 

She continued her movements till she heard Minji let out a final strangled cry followed by her cock bursting with ropes of cums, shooting onto the tile below them.

They stayed like that for a few moments, except Yunjin now had a firm grip on the younger girl's torso. She could feel how, after she had just came, her body had gone practically limp. 

And that's when Yunjin felt another pair of eyes on her. Looking to the side towards the curtain, there was Kazuha, just as naked as she and Minji were.

Those showers really were loud as hell; no wonder Minji didn’t hear her come in the first time hmmm. Or maybe Yunjin was too caught up in the whimpering falling from the younger girl's mouth to notice. 

“Fucking finally, thought she’d never finish, god damn” Kazuha took a few steps closer to the pair. Her voice caught the attention of Minji, who had managed to recover from those post-nut jelly limbs. 

“Kazuha, you know Minji, right?” Yunjin spoke, the tone of her voice showing no remnant of the sultry tone she had before. 

“Yeah, of course. Nice to formally meet you, I guess.” Kazuha held out her hand, only to see her arms entangled with Yunjin. 

“Do I even wanna know why you guys are like that?” She questioned. Retracting her hand at the sight of the two. 

“Oh, you know, walked in on her jerking off, decided to help her. Yeah, that's pretty much it.” Yunjin clicked her tongue. 

Minji watched the two exchange words in silent awe. How were they just casually talking about this, like it was a normal occurrence for them? Well, she didn’t know the two that well, so maybe it was for them, she thought. I mean, there was no doubt that they were both hot as fuck. Who wouldn’t want to- cutting her thoughts off, she suddenly felt a prodding in her back. She wiggled against the intrusion. She furrowed her eyebrows for a couple of moments before realizing that, yeah, she did still have her back still pressed up against Yunjins dick.

“Having fun down there, I know I am.” Yunjin raised an eyebrow toward the younger. 

“Oh, sorry, I was just, I- I- I don’t know,” Minji stuttered, all of sudden feeling quite intimated by the two older girls. 

“You know Minji, you’re kinda the reason I got this problem now anyways. Don’t you think you should repay me for helping you?” the sinister venom was back in Yunjin’s tone. 

“O-oh, okay. I-I’ve never really, I mean- I have. B-but not with another dick, I mean,” Minji stuttered.

“Oh, don’t worry, baby, I’ll make it easy for you.” Minji's cheeks grew red at the nickname. 

“O-okay”.

“Zuha, come help me.” Yunjin motioned for Kazuha to come closer. 

“Fine, fine.” She heard Kazuha sigh before stepping into the shower with them. Making sure to close the curtain behind her (like that would obstruct any of the noise they would be making). 

All of a sudden, Minji felt herself getting bent over. She held her hands out in instinct, thinking she was going to fall. Before realizing it, Yunjin now had a tight grip around her waist, and Kazuha had caught her hands. Being face to face, with her toned abs and her cock just inches from her face. 

“Oh, sorry, I can hold you higher or something if you’re not cool with ya know. Dick in your face.”

“I-its fine, you got a nice one.” Minji nodded.

“Thanks, dude, you too,” Kazuha smiled at the younger girl.

“Are you guys done flirting yet?” Yunjin teased.

After a couple of moments, Minji felt Yunjin spread her cheeks, followed by the trickling of something warm and wet dripping down her ass crack. It took Minji a few moments before she realized that the warmth that she was feeling was spit from Yunjin. She doesn’t know if she should be disgusted at herself for liking this or turned on by it. Hell, this was probably the most interaction she’s had with Yunjin in years, and it just had to be when she was seeing her at her most vulnerable. 

Yunjin maneuvered one of her fingers over the pucked hole, letting more spit draw in her mouth before letting it drop onto the untouched hole. She used her index finger to ghost the outer ring of the hole. She heard MInji letting out little whimpers as she did so. 

“Minji, I need you to relax, okay? You can do that for me, right?” Yunjin cooed. 

“Y-Yeah,” Minji said between deep breaths. Kazuha settled MInjis arms around her waist. 

“You can hold onto me however tight you want. It's okay.” Kazuha used her fingers to comb through the younger girl's damp hair, trying to soothe her in any way she could. Yunjin continued to draw more spit into her mouth, letting it drop down Minjis ass, rubbing the spit around Minjis hole.

Minji tightened her grip on Kazuha, her blunt nails digging into Kazuha's abdomen. Making Kazuha look to Yunjin, shaking her head as if it were a sign to say, not yet, she's not ready.

Yunjin didn’t want to hurt the poor girl. Of course, she didn’t. She wanted to make sure that the younger girl was enjoying this just as much as she and, well, I guess, Kazuha now, too. And if the shaky moans she was letting out were anything to go by, she had to be enjoying it somewhat. Yunjin continued on with her slow movements until she felt Minji's body relax and lean into her touch.

“I’m gonna start now, okay, Minji?” Yunjin cooed. 

Minji nodded, with a little whimper to go along with it. 

“If you want to stop at any point, just say stop, or if you can't pinch Kazuha,” Yunjin smirked, saying the last part. 

“Wait, we didn-” Kazuha got cut off by Yunjins sharp gaze at her, pretty much telling her to shut the fuck up and don’t ruin the moment.

“Try to relax, Minji. It’ll feel good once you get used to it.” Kazuha decided to continue giving the younger girl comforting pets on the head. 

Minji tightened her grip on Kazuha. Preparing herself, she closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths. Feeling the foreign sensation of Yunjin's finger pressing into her unbreached hole. She had immediately begun to tense up. She hadn’t felt a sensation quite like this before, and while she was enjoying it. She knew how overwhelming and intense the incoming movements were going to be. Saying that, she tried to remember what her unnies had told her to “relax,” so she did to the best of her abilities at the moment anyway. She took a few deep breaths, her eyes closed, focusing only on herself. 

No matter how hard she was trying to keep herself together, she began to feel the pressing of Yunjin's finger slowly inserting itself into her. The pressure of the older girl's fingertips started to make itself known. She had to be breaking skin with how hard her nails were digging into Kazuha's skin. It wasn’t as painful as she initially thought it was going to be, which she had to be thankful for. But it was still enough for her to have her eyes closed tightly, biting her lip. 

Kazuha saw this. She had been in this exact situation before (okay, maybe not exactly), having something in her ass for the first time. She could see how tightly Minjis eyes were closed with her heavy breathing through her nose, gnawing at her bottom lip. She felt a bit bad for being part of the reason the younger girl was in this situation. She knew how convincing Yunjin could be, she was just hoping that Minji would begin to enjoy this new experience as much as she did the first time. 

For now, though, all Kazuha could do was help the younger girl. Make her feel like she could trust her. So, ever so carefully (not that Minji would have noticed with how absorbed in her own thoughts she was at the moment) moved Minji's arms so they were wrapped around her waist. Minji’s nails digging into her sides were really starting to sting. She used one of her free hands and began brushing her fingers through her hair and continued petting her head, trying to comfort her. She had to admit Minji did look cute like this. The faint red in her cheeks as Yunjin was breaking her open. It made an all too familiar rush of blood flow to her cock. 

“So tight, Minji. You’re doing so good,” she heard Yunjin say in a hushed tone. 

Yunjin was using her free hand to lightly drag her fingertips over her skin. Minji thinks it's helping her a bit more sane, focusing on the blunt nails of Yunjin, drawing unknown figures into her soft flesh, as opposed to the dull pain in her ass that was starting to subside as she got used to the foreign invasion. 

After a few moments of letting Minji adjust to just one finger for a bit, she started to just barely move her finger inside the younger girl. Eliciting in loud gasp followed by a moan coming from the girl below her. Must be doing something right, Yunjin thought, smirking to herself. 

“I’m gonna start moving my finger more, okay, Minji?” Yunjin cooed. Getting nothing but a barely noticeable nod from where she was. Yunjin moved her finger in and out of the younger girl's hole, feeling it become a bit easier with every dip of her finger. 

Yunjin looked over at Kazuha, who was staring down at Minji. Her eyes were full of concern. She could only assume because of whatever facial expression Minji had right now. Kazuha had her hand cupping Minji's chin with her four fingers while her thumb was caressing her cheek. 

Kazuha must have felt Yunjin's eyes on her because she looked up, catching the older girl's gaze on her. 

“One more?” Yunjin said. Seeing Kazuhas eyes dart back down to Minji, then looking back to her and just giving a simple nod. Yunjin could trust Kazuha. The younger girl would never take advantage of someone when they were like this. As she and Kazuha had become closer in more ways than one, they realized they had made a pretty good team when it came to sexual escapades. She was always one to push the boundaries of the person they were with (Chaewon) to get what she wanted, but Kazuha was always there to reel her back in. In making sure the other person was okay and still feeling good.

Yunjin drew some more spit into her mouth, letting it drop onto Minji’s ass down to her fingers coating her digits in the makeshift lube. She began to try to inch the second finger into the younger girl. She could hear the whining coming from Minji at this point, her noises only increasing in volume as she stretched her further with the second finger. 

“You’re almost there, Minji, a little more.” She heard Kazuha's voice trying to comfort Minji the best she could. 

“It’s starting to feel good, right? Just think about how good it’ll feel once I'm inside.” Yunjin's voice was low. 

“That’s how you’re comforting her, really?” Kazuha said in disbelief. If that was Yunjin's idea of trying to soothe Minji’s nerves, she was starting to be glad she was here.

“Well, I don’t see her complaining” Yunjin shrugged, her fingers still buried in Minji’s ass.

“How would you know? You can’t even see her face right now.” Kazuha scoffed.

The sudden increase in talking snapped Minji out of whatever trance she was in. She opened her eyes and looked up at Kazuha, who was in the middle of saying something to Yunjin. Sensing the new gaze on her, Kazuha stopped talking and was faced with Minji, who was looking up at her with confusion on her face. The silence on Kazuha's part made Yunjin stop talking for once, too, as they both looked in Minji’s direction.

“Why’d you stop?” 

Amidst whatever argument the Kazuha and Yunjin were having had made Yunjin stop the movement of her finger that was still very much in Minjis ass.

Those words fell from Minji's mouth, catching them both off guard, in stunned silence for a few moments before Yunjin spoke again. 

“Sorry, uh, we got caught up in something. You’re doing okay, though, right? I can keep going?” Yunjin asked softly.

“Y-yeah, i-it feels good.” Minji looked down in embarrassment, feeling her cheeks grow redder. Unbeknownst to her, Yunjin had a sly grin on her face as she caught Kazuha's gaze as a way of telling her I told you so. Kazuha, in response, rolled her eyes.

That's all Yunjin needed to hear to continue inserting the last bit of her second finger. She started pumping them slowly in and out of Minji. Scissoring her finger against the walls of her ass as she stretched the tight hole. The younger girl's moans started sounding needier and needier with every movement of her fingers.

“Can’t wait to feel you around me, Minji. I know you can take it all,” Yunjin growled. Removing her finger from the girl below her.

Minji whimpered. 

Yunjin took hold of her cock, still hard, leaking precum from the red tip. She swiped the blunt tip over Minji’s asshole, eliciting a loud gasp from the younger girl. The warm precum dripping from Yunjin's tip into her asshole caught her off guard. 

The older girl started teasing the head of her cock over Minji’s sensitive hole. Minji could feel the tip of Yunjins cock pressing into her. As Yunjin slowly started to insert her thick length, Minji could feel her legs shaking, it was so much thicker than the two fingers she previously had inside her. The pressure was overwhelming in both good and bad ways. On the one hand, it was a new sensation of being filled that she never quite knew she would ever experience, never mind like it. And on the other hand, Minji felt like Yunjin was trying to break her. Based on the older girl's length, when it was pressing into her back moments ago, she knew it was going to hurt. Tears were brewing in her eyes, and she tried to quickly blink them away. 

Minji's mouth was hung open, her eyebrows furrowed together, letting out a guttural groan with every slight movement of Yunjin. She felt one of Kazuha's hands back on her face, wiping away stray tears that had escaped her eyes while her other hand was combing through her hair.

Yunjin was merely a few inches in, and she could feel Minji's walls clenching around her, making it harder to feed more into her waiting hole. She dipped her hips in and out shallowly, letting Minji get used to her length for a bit before she slowly inserted more and more of her thick cock inside of her. 

After a few more rounds of the slow but very much-needed process, Yunjin had finally hilted in Minji. The younger girl was so tight around her. Yunjin spent a few more moments holding Minji steady, feeling her shaking legs below her as she let her get used to her cock. Minji's breath started to return to what could be considered normal.

“I’m gonna start moving, okay?” Yunjin cooed. Just barely able to see the slight nod from Minji’s head. 

Yunjin dragged her hips out before pumping back in. Hearing Minji let out the loudest moan yet, Yunjin knew she had hit just the right spot. She started repeating the slow, brutal pace of pulling her cock out to the tip before slamming it back into the younger girl below her, no doubt hitting her deep. Minji’s moans dripped with need after every thrust. 

Kazuha, amongst all of this, had started to feel a bit neglected. Sure, she was very much intertwined with the younger girl, and she had a pretty good view of seeing Yunjin ram her cock into Minji. Her own cock, though, was throbbing and was in great need of being touched. She had tried her best to ignore it this entire time, opting to focus on Minji's well being than herself. But, seeing as Minji was doing much better than before, she decided she could have her own bit of fun. 

So, she spit a bit in her hand, then reached her free hand to her cock that was resting just below Minjis lips and started stroking it. Jerking her shaft from the base to the tip, the dripping precum made her movements easier. Getting off on the sounds of Minji’s moans and the sound of Yunjins skin meeting Minji’s ass with each thrust.

The older girl had started to pick up the pace, really only chasing after her own orgasm. She could see how Minji’s length had grown hard again but had opted to ignore it as Minji had already come once, and she had still yet to. 

“Fuck, Minji, feel so fucking good,” Yunjin gritted through her teeth between every thrust of her hips. Hearing Minji let out a loud moan in response. 

“You like that, being praised?”

Minji lets out another moan.

“You have nothing to be praised, though. Found you jerking off all by yourself.” Yunjins ridiculed her. 

Minji could feel the tears in her eyes start to prickle up again. 

“Thought you were with Hanni? Where is she? With another play toy?” Yunjin scoffed. 

She's not, Minji tried to convince herself. She was just out hanging out with Yujin. She definitely didn’t accidentally stumble upon their text messages while Hanni was showering and stormed off to the gym to take her mind off it. Even after the workout, she couldn’t stop thinking about Hanni, which had led her to jerk off in the shower, with that being the catalyst to how she got into whatever this was in the first place. 

“N-No!” Minji just barely got out. Her tears poured over. 

Kazuha had stopped mid-stroking her cock despite the aching feeling in her length telling her to keep going, hearing the little sobs that had started to escape from Minjis mouth. The poor girl had tears running down her cheeks and had practically started hyperventilating with the way she had started crying. Looking over to Yunjin, she saw that she hadn’t stopped or heard Minji quite obviously with the way she was still going at it. 

“Hey, you okay?” Kazuha cupped Minji's face, angling her chin so she was forced to look up at her. 

Snapping Minji out of whatever headspace she was in, she looked up at Kazuha and shook her head with a slight nod without even processing what the older girl had said.

“No,” Kazuha wasn’t having any of it.  

“I wanna hear say it. Are you okay?” Kazuha's voice was low, her tone stern. 

“I-i’m okay, i-it’s just a-a lot,” Minji got out between little whimpers.

Not totally believing what Minji said but knowing this was probably the best answer she was going to get from the younger girl at the moment, she just nodded, releasing the younger girl's chin. 

Yunjin, who somehow was blissfully unaware of everything that was happening, was getting closer and closer to the edge. Her efforts started to double, her thrusts somehow becoming even faster and rougher than before. Minji’s ass was hypnotizing with the way her ass would jiggle every time her thighs met Minji’s ass with every hard thrust of her hips. 

“Hanni likes it just like this. That slut could never get enough,” Yunjin gritted through her teeth. The cries Minji was letting out just egging her on, wanting to hear more of the sounds fall from her lips.

“She was always so much fun to play with, but sometimes you get tired of old toys.” 

Mini's heart wrenched. Was that all she was to Hanni? Did she get tired of her already? Why was she thinking about this? While she was getting her ass fucked into oblivion. A particularly hard thrust from Yunjin made her focus back on what was happening. 

Yunjin planted her hands on Minji’s ass, digging her nails into the soft flesh, making Minji let out a yelp. She used her strength to move Minji's ass in time with her thrusts, speeding them up, hearing Minjis whimpers becoming higher pitch. 

“F-fuck Minji, you’re taking me so well,” Yunjin groaned. And for the first time in the past few minutes, Yunjin had looked over to Kazuha, her cock hard resting in her hand, not moving. Her gaze fixated on Minji.

“I bet she looks so pretty, Zuha. Wish I could see her face. Cum on it for me” Yunjin hoped that would do the trick to get Kazuha out of whatever hypnosis she was under. 

And it had, in fact, done the trick with the way she saw Kazuha start to stroke her cock. Quickly speeding up to the pace at which Yunjin was still fucking deep into Minji. Deciding to have some mercy on the younger girl as well, Yunjin released the soft flesh of Minji’s ass from one of her hands and reached between her legs, wrapping her fingers around her cock. Hearing Minji let out a string of lewd moans, followed by her hips involuntarily bucking into her fist. 

They all managed to meet Yunjin's brutal fast pace, and there was no doubt Minji's whines could be heard outside of the locker room. They were just lucky it was nearing 4 a.m. The pace kept itself steady for a few more moments till Kazuha came with a low grunt erupting ropes of cum from her cock, some dripping onto the tile floor below them and onto Minjis face. Yunjin and Minji had come quickly following suit Yunjin had slumped over Minjis back, groaning into her ears as she buried her load deep into Minjis ass. The overwhelming feeling of being full pushed Minji into cumming for the second time that day onto the tile floor.  

The first one to recover from the post-nut-induced fuzzy headspace was Kazuha. Feeling the hard grip that Minji had around her waist had gotten much softer. The younger girl just barely had her arms wrapped around her while her head was leaning against her lower stomach. Kazuha could feel the steady breaths that were tickling against her skin. 

“Minji, I’m gonna move you a little bit, okay,” Kazuha said softly, tapping her fingertips against the younger head. Earning just the slightest nod from her. 

Kazuha took a step closer to Minji, maneuvering her so she was able to stand up. Or, more so, be propped up by Kazuha as she slinked her arms underneath Minji's armpits so that she was finally able to see the younger girl face to face. And only then had she realized what the fuck she had done.

“O-oh s-shit Minji, I’m sorry,” Kazuha got out. Minji’s face had gotten more than just a few stray drops of cum on her face. The poor girl had what was essentially her entire face dripping in Kazuhas seed. It must’ve been some sort of miracle that Kazuha had hit just about every square inch of Minji’s face other than her eyes. 

The out-of-character cursing from Kazuha had snapped Yunjin out of her post-orgasm haze. Yunjin looked over at Kazuha, seeing the panic that flooded her eyes. 

“What’d you do?” Yunjin had to hide the smirk that was threatening to break through. Yunjin knew that whatever Kazuha could have done to Minji wouldn’t ever be on the same level as what depravity she got up to on a semi-regular basis. 

Saying those words must’ve gotten Minji’s attention because she had turned her head, letting Yunjin see what Kazuha was so panicked over. 

“Damn, nice work, Zuha” Yunjins eyes widened, the tone of her voice full of disbelief.

“I think it’s a good look on you, Minji,” Yunjin said, rubbing little circles on the skin of her back. Not failing to see the little smile that had formed on Minji’s face as she turned back to face Kazuha. 

“Shut up” Kazuha spat. She wasn’t like Yunjin. She didn’t like this sort of thing. But, then, why did she think that Minji had looked kinda cute covered in her cum? Kazuha shook her head. Nope, this is to be thought about later, she decided to herself. 

“Let’s get you cleaned up, okay?” Kazuha said softly, combing her fingers through Minji's tangled hair. Now that she thinks of it, how hard was she holding onto Minji's head while she was jerking off? Kazuha shook her head again. Nope, Kazuha, this is for thinking about laying in bed later, not now.

“Can you take your dick out of her ass now?” Kazuha shot a glare at Yunjin. 

“Ugh, do I have to? She's so warm,” Yunjin pouted. 

“Yeah, you do, dumbass, it’s probably well past 4 am by now. We have to get back to the dorms”.

“Okay, okay.” Yunjin nodded her head in agreement. Kazuha was right, anyway. It probably was late as fuck. So, albeit slowly, Yunjin dragged her hips away from Minji, hearing the little whimpers falling from her mouth as she did so. 

Heh, cute. 

As her length had made its way out of Minji’s hole, Yunjin looked down, watching her load flow out of the younger girl's asshole.

“I know what you’re doing. Are you done being weird now?” Yunjin heard Kazuha say.

“Like, I know you haven't done the same thing to Chaewon. Come on, let’s hurry up and clean her off,” Yunjin rebutted. 

Both were in agreement on their next move. Yunijn, who was the closest to the faucet, turned the shower on, letting the water heat up. Before angling the shower head towards them, all of them let out a collective sigh of relief at the warm water falling onto their skin. Kazuha, in particular, watched intently as the load she had busted on Minji's face got washed away by the water falling down on them. 

The shower was a blur to Minji, only really able to comprehend the hands of Yunjin on her body rubbing soap into her skin and the fingertips of Kazuha massaging shampoo and conditioner onto her scalp.

She started to come closer to her senses again at the feeling of one of the cold locker room benches against her skin and the warmth of a towel being draped over her body. She looked over to Yunjin and Kazuha, who were in the middle of their own shower. She couldn’t hear what they were talking about over the loud crashing of water coming from the shower. It was strange to her, though, how they were able to act so normally after all of this. 

Feeling a cold gust suddenly brush against her skin, giving her goosebumps, she snapped out of her thoughts and held the towel closer to her. She sat and waited for what was only a few more minutes till the faucet had turned off, and the pair of girls had gotten their own towels and were drying themselves off. 

Kazuha had walked over to her, holding out her hand.

“Do you need help walking? I know Yunjin can be kinda rough, especially for your first time,” Kazuha said softly.

Minji had settled her feet onto the ground and made an attempt to stand on her own, only to feel her legs starting to shake, partnered with the evident ache in her rear end making itself known. She looked at Kazuha and nodded. 

Kazuha smiled at taking Minji's hand into her own, letting Minji lean on her as they made their way over to the lockers. Yunjin had already gotten herself dressed and had set Minji’s clothes on a bench for her. They both helped Minji put her clothes back on. The poor girl was still feeling a bit wobbly and numb in her body. Kazuha was the last to slip her clothes back on before she gathered each of their bags.

“I don’t know if you saw, but Zuha and I played rock paper scissors, and the loser had to carry you back home, and well, I lost,” Yunjin shrugged, squatting on the floor in front of Minji, waiting for her to get on. 

“Well, don’t say it like that, stupid ass. You just got done rearranging her guts. The least you could do as thank you is carry her back home,” Kazuha butted in, walking past Yunjin and hitting her in the back of the head as she walked out of the locker room. 

“Yeah, what she said,” Yunjin said, still squatting on the ground, waiting expectantly. 

“Th-thanks, I think,” Minji said before she hopped on Yunjin's back, her legs wrapped around the older girl as she held onto her shoulders. Yunjin just hummed in acknowledgment as she got up. 

Thankfully, the Le Sserafim dorm and New Jeans dorms were both within a block of the hybe building, making the walk to the New Jeans dorm first an easy one. Well, as easy as it can be with Yunjin carrying Minji on her back and all. 

The walk there was chilly; to their credit, it was the end of October in the middle of the night, so of course, it was going to be a bit cold. Minji, during her rush out of the dorm that seemed like a lifetime ago, had forgotten to bring a sweatshirt with her, and she had quickly come to regret that decision. With the way, the sharp gusts of wind were feeling like pins and needles into her bare skin. 

Kazuha must have seen the goosebumps coating her arms and her tight grip on Yunjin's much warmer body because she had stopped them in the middle of the sidewalk, taken off her own sweatshirt, and put it on Minji. Despite the protest she got from the younger girl, saying that now she was going to be cold. Kazuha didn’t care, even if she was probably going to wake up with a sore throat in the morning. She practically forced Minji to keep it on. 

Their stroll to the New Jeans dorm trucked on with Kazuha and Yunjin talking about something random, asking for Minji’s input whenever they saw fit. However, they both saw that the younger girl wasn’t up for much talking at the moment. They marked it up to the fact that she was shy. I mean, what would you say if you had just gotten fucked the shit out of by your two seniors you have barely interacted with at 3 am in your company's locker room. 

By the time they arrived at the New Jeans dorm, it was nearly 5 a.m. Yunjin had set Minji down in front of her building. Minji, by this time, was able to walk relatively normally by herself, a bit slower than usual, but it was good enough.

“Umm, thank you, guys, for tonight. It was good, I liked it,” Minji said awkwardly, her cheeks heating up a bit at the end. 

“Yeah, it was fun. We should definitely do it again if you’re up to it,” Yunjin said, catching Minji off guard. She had thought that this was just going to be a one-time thing. She had to admit, though, it was fun, and the pair made it the utmost enjoyable for her. 

“Text me if you need advice on how to take care of those marks down there. I know how mean Yunjin is,” Kazuha said as she hugged Minji goodbye. 

“Saying that like you didn’t cum all over her face” Yunjin rolled her eyes as she got hit in the back of the head by Kazuha. Before focusing back on the task at hand, she wrapped her arms around Minji, getting her goodbye hug.

Minji waved the two girls goodbye, watching them make their way down the street towards their own dorm before she walked to the elevator, pressed the button to her floor, and leaned her head against the wall. She was exhausted. It had been one hell of a day, to say the least. 

Just as the elevator doors were about to close, she saw a hand stop it in its tracks. 

“Sorry!” she heard a familiar voice ring out.

She knew that voice all too well. 

It was Hanni.

The exhaustion from the day seemingly vanished as her eyes nearly popped out of her head at the sight of Hanni. Her hair was tangled, and she was wearing a pair of sweatpants and a sweatshirt that definitely didn’t belong to her with how they were drowning her in fabric.

“Where were you?” Minji said coldly.

“I could say the same to you,” Hanni scoffed, eyeing her up and down. 

[hostess-of-horror]

I just had this AU idea all day today and I am so brainrotted right now that I need to put this down on a post. I haven't figured out a whole lot but at least it's enough to get the idea.

L'Opéra Numérique

(or The Amazing Digital Opera)

- A TADC AU that's heavily inspired by Gaston Leroux's The Phantom of the Opera but not verbatim

- Reeks of Showtime, as Pomni and Caine are the two main stars: Christine Daae and Erik the Phantom

- Takes place in L'Opéra Numérique where everyone is part of a massive opera house with Caine being the Host (Opera Ghost) that "haunts" it

- L'Opéra Numérique is a literal labyrinth (🎶where night is bliiiind~🎶) and has no exit that anyone knows of; every path circles back to the main theatre

- Pomni, like the show, is the most recent arrival and becomes a wildly popular soprano, replacing Jax as the main star

- This leads to Pomni being the Host's object of affection, tutoring her in the hopes of making her a national treasure within the digital world

- While everyone plays along, Pomni becomes an "agent" for the rest of the gang in the hopes of figuring out who this Host is and how to escape the Opera

- The Gang all plan to have Pomni visit the Host, which leads to the iconic Mirror Scene as well as the Phantom's Lair and Unmasking Scene (🎶Music of the Niiiiiight!🎶)

- Unlike the source material, there is no "Raoul" for Pomni; only her newfound friends

- The main romance is the tragic love story between Caine and Pomni, where Caine obsesses over her to the point of madness and Pomni pities him despite the circumstances

- Caine as the Phantom is deformed a la abstraction, with his glowing eyes and sharp teeth exposed like a dark eldritch horror

- The Gang's plan for Pomni are all written in multiple notes, passed around by each member of the Opera as to not let Caine figure out what they're doing (🎶far too many notes for my taste...🎶)

- Of course, Caine does in fact find those notes and things go south real fucking fast.

- Since no one can die in the digital world, Caine's Punjab Lasso (noose) paralyzes the victim rather than strangle them to death

- Caine still drops the chandelier though... a few times, actually!

- When Caine hosts a Masquerade party, he reveals himself to everyone in his "Blue Screen of Death" costume (🎶 Why so silent, good monsieurs? 🎶)

- Did I mention Bubble is the Daroga in this AU? Because Bubble is the Daroga in this AU.

- So, Bubble is basically a NPC controlled by an investigator who was trying to release the missing people (Pomni and the Gang)

- Turns out Bubble and Caine knew each other personally outside of the digital world, but Caine has been the Host of the Opera for God knows how long that he has completely forgotten who he was before

- Oh yeah, Caine is NOT an AI in this AU! He was actually a game developer who was rejected multiple times until he eventually got stuck inside his own creation (I haven't gotten the full story so bear with me here)

- So while that's being revealed, Caine does his Phantom thing and writes an opera where he and Pomni fall in love (🎶Past the Point of No Return 🎶) until Pomni reveals his face

- Final Lair ensues, which leads to Bubble and the Gang being trapped and tortured until Pomni agrees to marry Caine via turning the Scorpion (the Grasshopper would crash the whole Opera)

- The story ends with Caine releasing everyone, including Pomni, and telling Bubble/the investigator how having Pomni as his bride made him remember what he had lost ("I! I! ...I kissed her! And she did not die of horror!") and thus destroying L'Opéra Numérique and himself

[yvesdot]

i noticed your tags on the poll abt how you feel when people ask your pronouns, abt how it clearly skews tme because the answer afraid isn't on there. i want to ask, coming from a place of just wanting to learn, is there an alternative to asking for people's pronouns? i know it can be scary, i've nearly had a panic attack hwvaise i didn't know if i wanted to out myself, and i'm tme, but on the other hand i don't want to assume people's pronouns and i don't want to misgender them. is there some kind of middle ground here?

Thanks for asking!

Disclaimer I am not a trans woman so this is an extremely "correct me if I'm wrong" "based on my many, many, many experiences with the trans women in my life" "proofread by a trans woman close to me" answer.

Disclaimer the second that I do believe in asking people's pronouns in a general sense (I always ask when I get a new coworker, for example, generally with the addition of my pronouns). This does not nullify the concerns below.

The simple answer is that asking "what are your pronouns?" is both a question and a statement. It is not only asking for someone's pronouns, but saying "I feel confident that this information will be useful," which itself says 1) "I am going to be referring to you" 2) "I think my first guess about your gender may be wrong" which itself in many cases is someone's way of saying "I think you are transgender."

This statement does not thrill all trans people.

Many trans women are just trying to pass or be 'stealth' or simply be treated uncomplicatedly as a woman, without an asterisk tacked on, just a woman, outside. Trans women in particular face persistent degendering, and 'they' can be a way to communicate "I do not see this woman as a woman, but because she is a transsexual freak I also do not see her as a man, I see her as something outside of/beyond/beneath gender." See also the obsession with transfeminine characters in media being ~weird unknowable gender goals~ no matter how traditionally femininely they present, generally due solely to sex assignment and/or physical traits they have no control over.

Before I had managed any kind of physical transition, when I looked like a low-resolution cisgender girl, I would go out with a trans woman friend of mine: me in what might as well have been a garbage bag, and her in a full face of makeup and long hair with bangs and a long skirt and earrings and painted nails and, frankly, visible breasts. And she would get referred to as 'they' and I would not. I was always shocked at this-- she couldn't possibly have been clearer about what she was going for, and yet people deliberately refused to address her femininity or womanhood. Why? Because they could tell she was trans. There was not one single way in which I ever looked more feminine than her, and certainly never intentionally. She just 'looked trans', or 'sounded trans', or whatever, so she did not get to be a woman today. This is not a rare experience.

It's important to note that this was intentional, and that the people who do this are not doing it accidentally. This may be happening subconsciously, but the process is thus: "This person is giving me extraordinarily strong signals of intentional femininity" -> "but wait! I spot an Adam's apple/a flat chest/a deep voice/Something Transgender!" -> "Intentional feminine presentation + random consequences of birth = averages out into androgyny!!"

I can't stress this enough: it doesn't matter if this process isn't conscious. Trans women are not stupid. If she has never been 'they'd or 'what are your pronouns'd before putting on her Girlwear Extreme Mode, and suddenly everyone is curious, it is obvious this is not happening because the people in question ask literally everyone. (I have never met anyone who asked everyone their pronouns, and I suspect that anyone claiming they ask everyone-- that they never go 'ah this is a cis man' and drop the case-- is lying.)

As I have heard it told, it feels incredibly invalidating to put every possible effort into femininity and then achieve, at best, a "wow you definitely look like you're transgender!," at middle a "wow you definitely are not passing!," and at worst a "wow you sure look like a circus freak!!" Whereas cisgender women demonstrably are, for the most part, she/her'd by default-- including by those who claim they ask everyone their pronouns. So what is the difference between a cisgender woman in five pounds of makeup and a transgender woman in the same makeup, the same hair, the same jewelry, the same clothes? If you would default to not asking a cis woman her pronouns, why do you not default to the same when the woman in question is trans?

Obviously, many TME people also dress conventionally femininely. Many transfeminine nonbinary people using exclusively 'they' dress conventionally femininely! It must be repeated that I dressed conventionally femininely at the time-- I wore, and still wear, nearly exclusively skirts and dresses and pink and silliness from the women's section-- and I was rarely-to-never 'they'd or asked my pronouns outside of pronoun circles until I physically changed my body. I have a lot of complicated thoughts on this, but again, this is specifically about the circumstance in which, if you deemed this person to be a cisgender woman, you would not ask. We must acknowledge that some women's genders are assumed. Ask yourself: if not for the [insert testosterone-linked quality here], would I be confused about this person's gender?

Rule of thumb: if someone is giving you every possible signal of intentional, active, effortful femininity, and you think she is not a cisgender woman, consider why someone who is not a cisgender woman would be putting in effort to look feminine. Read between the pearls.

(Note: this is not a directive never to ask a pronoun of someone in this circumstance, just to Consider. Consider with your Mind. Accept you may yet be Wrong, and this is OK, even if you do hurt someone. Just Consider.)

The other matter at hand is the "I think you are transgender" beacon. For many transgender women, being told "I think you are transgender" by a stranger in public is tantamount to a threat. This is information that can call a mob, get you fired, get you killed-- and get the murderer off scot free! I'm not saying never do the transgender nod, I'm saying be thoughtful about it.

A coworker recently asked me genuinely why I don't list my pronouns in my work emails. I was pleased someone considered that I had good reason, and said: because it is not relevant. If I am emailing a customer to ask you to please drop off Item X, does it matter whether I am a woman or a man? If a customer is emailing me to ask my rates, do they require more than my name? If they call a coworker and need to refer to me while not knowing my gender... can they not merely use 'they' as a signifier of person of unknown gender-- which is what I ultimately want, anyhow? The amount of times I have fielded calls for other coworkers that open with "I'm looking for Sam-- and is Sam a man or a woman, anyway?" is truly bizarre. Why you could possibly require this information to request that we buy your product is beyond my comprehension. Let me finish my sentence, if you must know, and sooner or later surely a pronoun will be dropped.

In specific, I find that people tend to drop the pronouns question when it is completely irrelevant. If I am checking out at your register, you do not need to know my pronouns. I am not your friend. We are engaged in a transaction, during and after which you need not refer to me, and if you are uncertain, yes, feel free to use 'they', and act as though you would use it for anyone. It is not relevant what my gender is to-- well, to anything, but especially this minute interaction.

If you are checking out at my register, for God's sake, I am at work. I am already doing labor and I take no interest in additionally moderating your discomfort with the fact that you don't know a stranger's gender. You know I'm transgender? Me too! You need not refer to me, ever, because I am at my job and you ought to go home and think no more of me. I am not a man or a woman right now, I am the person selling you poisoned apples. Please leave.

(Sidebar: cisgender men love to do this and then hit me with the hysteria accusations. e.g. "Thanks, man! I mean, uh, miss? [demanding] What is it? [frustratedly] Whatever, I'm just trying to figure out how to refer to you... Sorry!" It's a really excellent cocktail that makes it very clear they are certain I am a transgender woman. They are wrong, but it is revealing of how they treat transgender women.)

Especially because I am a visibly gender non-conforming person-- I hear this daily. I hear it multiple times a day, frequently. I live in a leftist Californian enclave and this is the bread and butter of the lefty cisgender individual.

If we are in a context where it would be polite to assume that we may meet again or become friends-- the club, a house party, what-have-you-- it is once again polite to ask, because communicating "I suspect I'll have to refer to you again" is no longer rude. It's only in a context where the information does not matter except to clarify my gender (to sate your personal curiosity?) that I occasionally get annoyed, because it isn't my responsibility to elucidate my gender for you. If you're a man, it's not even my responsibility to know that you exist.

Rule of thumb: if you are never going to meet this person again, and if you thought they were cisgender you would not ask, and if their gender is wholly irrelevant, refrain from asking.

Also, thanks very much to you for asking this question, for being open to listening, and for trusting me! I like talking and I like talking about gender (see: mention of coworker asking why I didn't list my pronouns which didn't remotely annoy me). I occupy the particular space of being someone who is constantly, loudly, explicitly being gendered, and it can occasionally be a chore. I love being transgender and visibly gender non-conforming and I wouldn't change it for the world; I just wish it was socially acceptable for me to say "my gender is not relevant to our non-relationship and it is rude of you to ask me for this information, especially if you do so in a patronizing manner that expects me to be grateful for the attention." I wish it weren't my job to mediate the response. You can ask me anything! You just have to be prepared to take no for an answer, you know?

Again, I'm one visibly gender non-conforming nonbinary person, and I used to be that TME person who would have given their full set of teeth to get a single "what are your pronouns?" in a month, and I know a variety of trans people, including many transfeminine nonbinary people who use 'they' and may present in an assortment of ways. To be abundantly clear, I am not saying fear or insult is the rule for trans women or transfeminine people; it's just not always desired to have someone ask your gender in public, and I wish we could be more tactful as a community about it. I loved the validation of being asked my pronouns when I first came out, but my validation is not more important than the safety and health of my trans sisters, who are constantly surveilled, degendered, and mocked. Read this quote from Infect Your Friends and Loved Ones.

There is no way to avoid misgendering anyone ever, there is no way to avoid hurting anyone ever, and most importantly, we must make decisions based on the material reality in which we live where trans women get the short end of every stick. When I sent this to my beloved friend who proofread it, she came up with this excellent article which frankly could serve as a replacement to this entire post. It's conflicting access needs: there is no one true answer.

Which is good news for you, because you did the only objectively kind and correct thing one can do: you asked a question, started a discussion, and listened. Thank you🌿

[moongothic]

On reflection i think Dragon taking in Sabo but leaving Luffy behind could potentially become a huge wrinkle in how Luffy thinks of him once they do actually meet. He could even see it as Dragon breaking up the brothers needlessly, Luffy more loyal to Ace than this essential stranger deciding in his head that Ace would have never stood in the way of the three of them staying together. Or even a 3 way conflict of “sabo would never have wanted his brothers to abandon their dream for him” vs. “luffy and ace would have wanted the opportunity to help Sabo”

Which cooould lubricate the story wheels a little for a more civil crocodile and luffy crocdad reunion, if crocodile expressed some disagreement in Dragon’s judgement or philosophy that could stand to better align with Luffy’s feelings on the topic (probably some form of pragmatism about how its pointless to save the one when you could just as easily take all 3, or that severing Sabo from his brothers made him a weaker fighter than if Dragon had taken all 3, etc.)

Goldfish logic Luffy. He is currently mad at Dragon-dad but Croco-dad is agreeing with him on it so he’s ok with Croco-dad now.

I don't think Dragon lowkey adopting Sabo would do anything to hurt Luffy's relationship with Dragon or sour his view of his father. Like there are genuinely understandable reasons to why Dragon couldn't stay with Luffy, and Sabo ended up with Dragon under unusual, unintended circumstances. Like, if Dragon explained why things turned out the way they did, I think Luffy would understand and wouldn't hold any grudges against him. Dragon had his reasons, he did what he did, what's done is done and it all turned out okay in the end, so knowing Luffy he should be okay with it.

That said, there are things Dragon did absolutely fuck up. Things that could possibly lead to Luffy being a little mad at Dragon and/or take Crocodile's side on something.

Now to be fair, we don't know how the Dragodile Divorce went down, like there are Circumstances that could potentially explain some of these potential fuck ups (on Dragon's behalf) away. But we can't go through all the potential scenarios of what might've gone down here, in the end, what really matters is that:

Dragon didn't tell Crocodile his full name

Dragon didn't tell Crocodile what he named their child

Dragon did not contact Crocodile about their child being a pirate

Dragon knew full fucking well Crocodile was literally World Famous for crushing pirates in Alabasta

Dragon knew Luffy entered the Grand Line and thus there was a genuine possibility he could eventually reach Alabasta

Even if we put what happened with the manufactured rebellion and Vivi aside, if the Strawhats had gone to Alabasta and wrecked any havoc there (even by accident as Luffy tends to do), Crocodile would have gone and killed the crew, just like the thousands of others he had crushed before. And Dragon would have been aware of this. He should have known that could happen. That his ex and child could end up fighting and someone (namely the child) dying

Meaning, even without the Bizarre Circumstances they were in, it is arguably Dragon's fucking fault that Crocodile tried to kill their son three whole times. Because Dragon didn't tell Crocodile anything, and did not even warn him their son could end up in Alabasta.

If Crocodile turned out to be fucking furious at Dragon for this, well, he would be objectively justified in being angry. Because Dragon did fucking drop the ball there, completely. Croc tried to kill his own son, completely unaware, because Dragon couldn't even tell his own full name to his partner. Not even the name of their son. Nothing.

And so if Crocodile was fucking furious at Dragon for it, perhaps even a little upset about what he did to his baby boy because of Dragon's incompetence. Yeah I think Luffy would understand Croc's feelings. He might just take Crocodile's side there.

Especially because we don't know how the Dragodile Divorce went down either, like if shit got even a little transphobic then god knows Dragon Fucked Up Bad and Luffy won't side with that shit either

[bobauthorman]

Dragon Ball: First Arc Review

What is Dragon Ball?

Overall, it’s an action series with lots of muscular guys screaming, throwing huges blasts of energy, and changing their hairstyle at the drop of a hat.

But it wasn’t always thus.

When it first came out, Dragon Ball was a silly, satirical gag manga very loosely based on the Chinese novel, Xīyóu Jì / Journey to the West written by Wu Cheng'en. The manga was to the novel what Spaceballs was to Star Wars, a silly romp where the plot is nothing more than a vehicle to squeeze in as many jokes as one can squeeze in. Akira Toriyama had just finished up his famous gag-series Dr. Slump, and you can its influence in the art style and humor.

Now, I’d like to address this right now and get it out of the way. Dragon Ball’s first story arc has a lot of rather perverted moments that can be very unsettling for modern readers (As of this writing, year 2024). I can’t justify it, but after reading other series like Urusei Yatsura, I just assume that this sort of thing is what manga-ka thought was funny at the time. Luckily, DB has other things going for it than raunchy humor, with slapstick and even some decent (at the time of its writing) action sequences.

Don’t worry, I won’t bore you to tears or kill every joke by telling you why it’s funny. Instead, I’d like to take a look at the overall story and narrative function of its principle characters and maybe try and squeeze something meaningful out of it. However, I should warn that there will be SPOILERS.

The title refers to the seven mystical orbs that, when brought together, summon a dragon that will grant a wish. (Uh-DURR!) In truth, this ‘quest’ is just an excuse so our players can move from one setting to another, and from the beginning makes it clear just how irrelevant the wish is in the big scheme of things.

Our first and central character is Son Goku. The Monkey King of Dragon Ball, our story focuses on this jungle boy. Like Arale in Dr. Slump, Goku’s gimmick is his immense strength disproportionate to his childish exterior.

Another thing about him is that, in a cast full of perverts, he probably commits the most sexual harassment. 

Not because he’s like that, but he literally doesn’t know better. See, the little king grew up in an isolated area, at first with his adoptive grandfather, Son Gohan, then, when the old man died under “Mysterious Circumstances”, all by himself. The kid claims to be 14 (He’s not, as we learn in the next arc) but his emotional development probably stopped long ago. He knows objectively that there are these things called ‘wimmin’ and that they should be treated nicely, but clearly Gohan did not go into detail on the subject. Goku’s never seen any other person besides Gohan Sr., and curious monkey that he is, he pokes and prods whatever he doesn’t understand. And since the most crucial difference between men and women (For Goku) is what they have or don’t have under the belt. Fortunately, he stops this after Mt. Frypan as the story slowly becomes more serious.

Speaking of more serious subjects, I wanna talk about Goku’s more mental skills. Fans like to sleep on that Goku is an idiot, but it’s more nuanced than that. Goku is uneducated and clueless about societal norms, not to mention rather blunt and insensitive. But he’s not, y’know, stupid. We see him demonstrate a keen problem solving ability throughout the story. However, he’s not a long-term planner, something that is the dominion of… 

Our secondary protagonist, Bulma. In the original Japanese language, her name is written as Buluma, or rather Bloomer. If it were me, I’d change the position of the ‘u’ and call her Bluma to preserve the pun, but whatever. 

Bulma is the driving force of the story, as she’s the one seeking the Dragon Balls. She literally crashes into Goku’s idyllic wilderness lifestyle because he has one of the Dragon Balls she wants (his Grandpa’s momento), and manipulates him into joining her. Bulma is a self-professed genius, having invented the Dragon Radar, but this technical skill doesn’t show up in the story. It’s merely an excuse to justify how she can track down these lost ornaments, or why she has a drug that makes someone go potty on command. However, Bulma does demonstrate a forward-thinking attitude, such as her recruiting Goku and Oolong as she realizes the potential their abilities could serve her interests. She also comes up with the plan to track down and rescue Oolong’s kidnapped victims…which doesn’t pan out, but hey, she tried.

Here’s the thing, though. Bulma is also a horrible person. She’s a teen drama queen who thinks the world revolves around her. She literally refers to herself as the heroine of the quest, and that everyone should be honored to help in that. She tricks Goku into giving her his Dragon Ball, falsely claiming he’ll get it back after the wish, knowing that once they’re used the Dragon Balls will fly off to the ends of the Earth. However, she doesn’t get off easy for this attitude, as we see her suffer quite a bit of slapstick throughout the story.  As the only member of the cast with a mature female body, she unfortunately gets the brunt of the arc’s lewd-ness, though she finds a way to, uh, delegate this.

Which brings us to…this guy.

The Turtle Sage, Muten-Roshi. (Invincible Old Master)

You know this guy. In a fantasy story, there’s this old wizard the heroes stumble upon who will grant his magic in exchange for a trivial favor. Only, the favors aren’t quite so trivial to Bulma. But even without his lecherousness, Roshi is quite frankly a terrible wizard. Guy loses two out of three magical tools for no reason other than carelessness. Of course, the turtle rider does have credible martial arts skills, which only get a glimpse of during this arc. Beyond dispensing plot devices, Roshi helps plant the seed of the next step in Goku’s personal journey, offering training which will be the focal point for the second arc. However, Roshi has a very small role, albeit a crucial one for the current arc. 

But speaking of those with larger roles, let’s talk about Oolong.

Oolong’s DB’s first enemy-turned-ally, this piggy’s role is similar to Iago from Disney Aladdin franchise; a complainer who brings a rare form of common sense but is ignored by their more adventurous companions. Oolong never wanted to come along on Bulma’s search, and is kept in line at first by false promise of erotica, and later on by the aforementioned hair-trigger diarrhea. Oolong spends much of the journey endlessly whining and trying to convince the other members of the Dragon Team that what they’re doing is Dangerous and they should Turn Back. The only thing keeping him from turning on the duo is that they’re the only thing protecting him from real dangers. Dangers like…

Yamcha the Desert Bandit! (Dun Dun-duh!)

Every major manga has one. A rival. A smooth and suave foil to the roughneck hero. That’s Yamcha. He’s handsome. He’s skilled. He’s knowledgable. He’s…

...A complete and total dork. While Goku has no interest in girls besides a passing curiosity, Yamcha completely falls apart when around women. (Though, it should be noted that this only is around ones his age) However, Yamcha isn’t just Goku’s foil, but Bulma’s. They both can’t control themselves around the opposite sex, but while Yamcha runs away, Bulma eagerly chases any hot guy she sees. They both have shapeshifting sidekicks, but Oolong and Bulma are constantly arguing, Pu’ar has no identity beyond being Yamcha’s aide. Both are forward thinking, with Bulma’s aforementioned plans, and Yamcha deciding to follow Goku to steal the Balls once all are collected. And finally, both want the Balls for their love lives, but while Bulma wants a ‘magical dream boy conjured by the Dragon’, as Oolong put it, Yamcha just wants his fear of women gone so he could pursue a relationship.

On the subject, it should be noted that while Oolong, Yamcha & Pu’ar are active criminals, pretty much everyone in the first Ball Hunt are pretty selfish, with the exception being Goku, Chichi, and Sea Turtle. Even the girls Oolong abducted were more than happy to play along as the snotty little perv extorted their families. But that’s comedy, isn’t it? Selfish people doing horrible things to one another and we laugh because we know they sorta deserve it.

The Frypan Mountain mini-arc is where the story begins to shift. Before, any problem could be solved by pointing Goku at it and saying “Get ‘em”. The one time he lost to Yamcha, it was because his strength was nerfed by hunger. But Frypan is where we start getting problems that Goku simply can’t solve with his strength, such as the titular flaming mountain.

(Also, is there an unspoken rule that a Monkey King ripoff needs to deal with a peak on fire? No? Just me? All right then)

Anyway, Frypan plants four narrative seeds, three of which will come up at Castle Pilaf, and one that won’t be seen until years later, at the 23rd Tenka’ichi Budokai.

First off…THE KAMEHAMEHA! This iconic moment, when Roshi Hulks out and shoots a friggin’ Death Stay beam from his bare hands, would be a taste of what Dragon Ball would become further down the line. It also gives Goku what would become his signature attack, replacing the Fist of Rock-Paper-Scissors.

Second, the events of Frypan demonstrate the chink in Goku’s armor. For the entire story beforehand, Goku had been seen as an unstoppable force. But the revelation of his Achilles Tail puts a level of tension to Goku’s strength. Yamcha is watching, and now has a plausible way of beating the little monkey. But this is a bait-and-switch. Yamcha won’t be using this weakness to rob the Dragon Balls.

The third seed to be planted is Roshi’s offer of training to Goku. While it has no bearing on the plot now, it will give Goku a reason to separate from the gang at the end of the arc.

And finally, Chichi. With how Toriyama writes, I’m not sure if it was his intention to bring her back into the fold at any point. However, Toei clearly enjoyed the idea of Goku having a girlfriend and had her reappear in filler episodes. Nonetheless, I wanna talk about their, ah, engagement. A guy doing something inexplicably perverted and getting a girlfriend/betrothed is a cliche in anime, but it happening here makes a degree of sense. Chichi is established as being incredibly innocent, where she gets hot and bothered just at the idea of holding hands. So that she assumes being touched there means a marriage proposal.

That the fire on Frypan isn’t quelled by a magical plot device, but instead smothered by Muten-Roshi’s sheer strength (along with the rest of the mountain…) could be seen as an example of one of Dragon Ball’s themes that true victory is found within…or that Toriyama thought Roshi wiping out Ox-King’s castle was funny. Could be both.

The Carrot Master episode seems like pointless filler, even in the manga, but it serves a very crucial purpose, story-wise. It forces Yamcha, who’s been following the gang to steal the Dragon Balls at the last moment, to intervene and help Goku rescue Bulma from Boss Rabbit. In turn, this means that when Yamcha has to help the group reach Pilaf’s castle, they will be more inclined to accept his support (Well, Oolong will- Goku is too trusting and Bulma doesn’t care about anything but cozying up to a hot guy).

And now, we reach the long-awaited wish. The confrontation the Dragon Team has with the Pilaf Gang is culmination of the aforementioned seeds mentioned in the Frypan section, first and foremost being the Kamehameha Goku learned watching Roshi. Not big enough to help the entire out, but enough for the shapeshifters to escape Pilaf’s dungeon. 

Speaking of Oolong and Pu’ar, I’ve mentioned in my overview of Yamcha that the two are very different in how they respond to their human bosses.  Oolong can’t stand Bulma, but Pu’ar is overly dedicated to Yamcha. However, this difference turns out to be crucial in the climax of the Dragon Ball hunt; Pu’ar who has always relied on Yamcha to call the shots, cannot find a way to stop Pilaf. Oolong, however, who maintains an independent (If not cowardly and selfish) sense of self and thus manages to intervene.

Well, I suppose it’s fitting. Panties have played significant (Albeit lewd) role in the story. Granted, he probably should have wished for him and his friends to safety, as we immediately cut to the Dragon Team stuck inside an even more secure dungeon…that will cook them alive in the morning.

Now, we all know that Goku will see the full moon, turn into a giant monkey, but isn’t that a little contrived? Could it be that Toriyama wrote himself into a corner? While it is a bit of a asspull, it might not have had the same dramatic impact if there had been significant foreshadowing. Nothing kills a story’s tension than when you already know what’s going to happen.

However, as much as there was no indication that Goku could transform…there was no indication that he couldn’t.

In the second chapter, Goku admits that his ‘grandpa’ was just a kind stranger who took him in as a baby, having been apparently abandoned by his parents. No warnings about monsterness, and with all the other crazy stuff being shown in the Dragon World, but also plenty of blank spaces to squeeze in any shocking twist.

“But since Goku’s a Saiyan-“ SHADDUP! Goku’s not a Saiyan in this arc. Saiyans won’t even be considered until much, much, much further down the road. As in, probably a week before Raditz showed up.

ANYWAY, with Goku’s transformation into a berserker King Kong conveniently solves the problem with escaping Pilaf’s castle, but now there’s a much bigger problem. You thought Pilaf was the final boss? Nope! After being the major player throughout the story, we now have Son Goku as the last enemy to defeat. And who is going to save the day?!

And this is where our next plot seed sprouts. When Yamcha learned about Goku’s Achilles Tail, it was all but stated that he would exploit it. However, I doubt anyone was expecting that moment to happen during something like this. I don’t have any access to the original Japanese dialogue, save the anime version where Yamcha’s reasoning for cutting the tail off was ‘maybe it’ll knock him out’. But I suppose you couldn’t expect him to cling to that giant tail for the entire night?

Regardless, the final chapter is the denouncement, where everything caps off. Oolong makes the now-prophetic inquiry on whether or not Goku’s an alien (Again, this was just a one-off aside) while Bulma and Yamcha learn that the real wish was the friends they made along the way, giving Oolong indigestion. Good for him. At least he’s got his wish-panties. It’s a tired cliche, but not unwanted given all the slapstick and humiliation they’ve suffered maybe it’s good for all them to get something out this ordeal. Tragic that Bul-Cha only lasts until the Android Arc. That Bulma offers to take Goku with her and then gives him the Dragon Radar is sign that she’s developed some level of affection for the monkey boy.

Sources conflict on whether or not the manga was at risk of being cancelled around this time, or if Toriyama wanted to end the story here but was convinced to keep going. Either way, it makes sense that everyone gets something at the end gives this arc a good sense of closure, with Goku going to Muten-Roshi’s providing just enough open end-ness. 

Final thoughts? Overall, the first arc of Dragon Ball is a cute, humorous romp, even if you find its more lewd content unsettling. (Lord knows I do) But the pure imagination and rare moments of epic-ness are enticing enough that you can see why it kept going.

[offshore-brinicle]

That was one hell of a part 2 good lordy. I have SO many thoughts but I cannot put all into words for now, here's some though.

Dante is being real quiet [sus especially after how much they talked in canto 5, plus how they seemed seemed realise that they need to actually take part in helping the sinners proper] and they are [seemingly] the only sinner one could connect to Carmen [literally all of the chirstian symbolism, the way the static on her appearances was similar to the static Dante has seen on AFD and their overheating, the fact she seemed to speak through them at that point]. I am probably just reading into things but after the whiplash of how much they usually talk - internally and externally - I am very much getting a sinking feeling something's wrong.

Basements are evil. Hong Lu is rich enough to have a basement in his houses. He will probably have an evil basement. I would bet money on this, especially if its a sort of 'other world' as alluded to in his book (that I have not read. It does mention a Land of Illusion if i recall, however, so possibly a door to that). Bonus points if it ends up being upside down or smth.

Would the 'chaotic' part of the golden bough ( of 'em at least) have any sorta relation to why we Heath's E.G.O seemed unstable? I know most of the other distortions/E.G.O awakenings happened near boughs - which connects to the theory that they are directly related to Carmen and thus allow her to talk to people more easily like with the monolith - either Dante's fragment or a full one, but the specific mention of a chaotic one could mean it's responsible for Bodysack seeming to have corroded, as one can see the warning labels typical of a corroding E.G.O.

Given Faust's change in behaviour - namely stuttering for what I believe to be the first time - regarding the conversations around the 'creation of humans' I do believe this was how she was made. Yi Sang did say he made the tech used within the pods in that very basement, and the fact that he was the first recruit could mean that the Faust who approached him is not the same Faust on the bus. The idea of her being a metric fucktonna ID's layered on top of each other firstly explains the Council of Fausts theory, wherein she is able to talk to other versions of herself, in this case because that's what she is, as well as what Dante says about her looking somewhere else before answering. Mirrors alter perception, so her looking at a different Faust for answers could explain that as well. Work's too with her base E.G.O, wherein three shadows seem to point out an answer on her wall of notes. She has all the knowledge, she just needs her other selves to point it out when needed - thus her evasive attitude when it comes to answers, she needs time to get it pointed out.

On that note, do you think her attitude in Selva Obscura is a reflection of og!Faust, but she drops the act later on once Dante has fully forgotten their past? She doesn't really get that jokey after that.

Like how the middle seemed to be the antithesis of Ishmael in C5 part 2, the ring seems to be Heath's. The middle represented how Ishy as a person was mostly incompatibility with 'the bit', in the form of a situation that is remarkably silly on paper but ended up in near total annihilation of the group. The ring may represent how some may look for deeper meanings in all things from arts to people, which clashes wickedly against Heathcliff's more straightforward approach when it comes to handling situations. The dredges of the ring are those parts of him that overthink and he solves the problem as simply as he's been solving many others.

Cathy in a Coffin reminds me of when Carmen was content enough to haunt the narrative from her Bucket. Nothing else to say here except for the fact it's funny.

But back to Carmen, and more particularly 'fate' regarding distortions. The theme of denying of what 'should've happened' is a decently big theme of limbus - from the rewinding death to even subverting what happens from any literary source material - so if they end up going 'Carmen no Carming' to her later on, defying someone who seems to be as much of a god-like entity as the Head in some ways, I would not be surprised if we either get a visit from Iori, one of Demian's lot or another Lo9 member - x or current. Additionally, defying fate may just be what brings back Heathcliff from the edge, keeping Cathy alive in this mirror world but presumably in a weird weirdass way. My guess is that she distorts and gets nabbed by LCD - but I also just wanna see Moses so.

Also hey what happened to the seven strikes of lightning. Are they gonna be in Heath's distortion dungeon or something? No clue.

And I think that's it. Gonna stare at a wall for a while now methinks

OK SO FIRST UP THERE ARE A LOT OF THINGS HERE SO I'LL TRY TO ANSWER TO THESE CONCISELY

Now that you mentioned it, it was always very strange how Faust is Number 2 despite being there first and her mugshot having already been in uniform, so now that you mention her different attitude in the Prologue I honestly see a lot to what you are bringing up here. It was always a personal theory of mine that Faust's real "Mephistopheles" was Sang Yi or Yi Sang somehow, since Sang Yi still to seems to be a rather...odd entity that doesn't correspond to any particular mirror world and is implied by Yi Sang to have some degree of omniscience (and there's also that marked part in the dungeon where he "mysteriously dissapeared" for some time with no explanation), so she might have gotten Yi Sang to do the procedure that would give her this infinite knowledge, specially since even Yi Sang himself emphasizes on her having been "gifted" with omniscience, I Highly doubt he's being figurative here, even more with her EGO's background being the shadows of multiple people.

In regards to Dante not speaking I think it's simply because of the difference in situation, unlike Ishmael who was very clearly out of control due to her own mindset, Heathcliff is being driven over the edge by circumstance -- and some quite insane circumstances at that, so it might be why they could not intervene, but hopefully they'll step up when we get to the next part, specially since we'll be dealing with Distorted Heathcliff....and also, it's very interesting that we actually got Heathcliff's POV on how it felt to Distort. It might be Dante's connection to Carmen and The Sinners aligning at once.

And also, Catherine is def a Carmen expy (I actually did my own analysis some time ago in similarities Kromer, Ahab and Dongbaek had with Carmen too but this one is the most. Insanely explicit similarity) and the fact that she speaks to "Welcome Heathcliff home" at the very end in her own voice alongside Carmen...I can't help but feel she might have been planning to get Heathcliff to Distort all along as part of her personal plan that they can be together happy in Hell. The Overclocking symptoms seem to have been an indicator of Heathcliff approaching Distortion, I really like how...drastically different it feels from the awakened Crow's Eye View and Snagharpoon, and just in general how they completely threw the formula that had been built up until now out of the window (heh)

Either way, thanks for shooting me a message! It's always fun to get to hear other people's observations and theories and share my own two cents along the way

Edit: I forgor but frankly if Hong Lu has yet another Creepy Rich Person basement I think I'll bash my head against the wall. The real moral of Limbus is that basements are bad and evil. Sorry there are just So many good observations here and I'm a bit scatterbrained at times shfhh

In regards to the "fate" thing, I feel like that will be a big part of dealing with Heathcliff next part, Limbus Company as a game and story is built on the reimaginings or "what ifs" or classics, and we've seen it with Yi Sang that his ending was changed in the end; the original Yi Sang died and the protagonist of The Wings commits suicide, but he rejected all of that, while Ishmael was on her path to repeat the cycle of the story of Moby Dick but thanks to Dante and Heathcliff she rejected that as well. And the title of "Clear All Cathy" really establishes from the first moment the goal this time. We'll have to wait another week to see how it rolls.

[magicalmadrigals]

The Innocence of Intimacy - 1

[Synopsis: A series of one shots following the relationship of Julieta and Agustin Madrigal from the fledgling days of their relationship into the beyond.]

Read on AO3 or under the cut! ♥️

Julieta brought a hand to her stomach as she laid down next to Gus on the little rug in the treehouse, full from the picnic they shared, and sighed under her breath as she got comfortable and looked up at the stars. She had had the most wonderful evening thus far and that was all thanks to him making it so special. When she met him at the treehouse like he asked, she rolled her eyes when he showed up with beestings all over him. She could remember muttering something about him needing to be a lot more careful, but then he pulled out the most beautiful roses and she forgot why she was annoyed with him.

It was a year to the day they met – well, to the day he fell on his face and got healed by her for the first time – he told her when she inquired as to what the occasion was. Him being so sentimental made her laugh initially, but then she thought about how he remembered that when it had truly slipped her mind and it made her heart melt. She should have expected something like that from him in all fairness. He was so sweet, probably the sweetest man she knew, and him wanting to celebrate this moment made a lot of sense. She had loved having him a part of her life since he came to Encanto rather early last year.

He was the clumsiest hombre she had ever known and, admittedly, she had probably healed him more than anyone, but her seeing him so often helped them bond and he quickly became her best friend. He made life so fun and her long, hot days in the middle of town so much easier to get through. He was a very important part of her life and she couldn’t imagine it without him in it any longer. She didn’t want to either. A world without him was a world she did not want to live in and she didn’t mind admitting it. Her mamá didn’t care much for him, she had made that clear, but she felt that way about most people.

She no longer cared as much about what her mamá thought though.

She refused to let her dictate who she could and could not spend her time with any longer.

Turning her head in his direction to see him staring up at the stars above them, she smiled before she turned her attention back to them and connected them with her eyes to see the constellations. “I guess Pepa must be in a good mood for once,” She teased, lifting her hand from her stomach in order to tuck her arm beneath her head. “I love coming out here to look up at the estrellas, but her clouds get in the way most of the time and it makes it hard to see. They look beautiful tonight though, don’t you think?”

“Sí…”

She sensed he was feeling unsure of himself when he took a minute to respond and his voice trembled when he did, but when she turned her head again and felt him brush his fingertips against her own her breath caught in her throat. She lay still for a second, unsure if it was intentional or nothing but a slip of his hand, but there was no doubt in her mind when he caught her eye and did it once more. Her not moving her hand away helped him grow in confidence. He started to play with her fingers and she only moved closer to him, her fingers brushing against his own in response as she shared a smile with him. She could tell there was still a little uncertainty there. He still feared she was going to pull back at any moment and break the spell, but doing anything of the sort was truly the farthest thing from her mind.

She had wanted this for longer than she could remember.

He had been dropping hints for months now, he must have fallen for her – quite literally – as quickly as she did, making excuses to linger near her in town and standing close enough to her to brush her arm with his when they chatted. She wanted to be certain that that was what it was before she did anything about it though. She had been wrong in the past and it was so humiliating, an experience she had zero desire to repeat, but he was proving she was right to believe he wanted more than friendship from her. He wanted the same thing she did. He wanted her and knowing that filled her with so much happiness.

Once they had gone on like that for a little while, exchanging deft little touches, she brought her hand back slightly and the look of disappointment that flashed across his face did not go unnoticed by her. Rather than let him think the worst though, she pressed her palm flat against his and laced her fingers with his own before squeezing his hand when he swept his thumb across her knuckles. “I thought you had no idea.” He told her, his cheeks turning crimson as she chuckled gently and cuddled close to him.

“You are many, many things, amor, but subtle is not one of them.” She teased. “I always had a feeling.”

“You could have told me and put me out of my misery.” He replied with a slight pout.

She nodded. “I would have, but there are two reasons why I decided not to. One reason was because I had a hard time being sure if they really were hints or if I was making something out of nothing. When I realized that I was right, it became more about me knowing how important it was to you that you got to make the first move. I could easily have been the one to take your hand then. You have no idea how many times I have wanted to do that when we were together, but I would have been rushing you into it and it wouldn’t have been right. Leaving it to you meant it took a lot longer, but now you’re ready too.”

He brought his free hand up and moved her curls out of her face, tucking them gently behind her ear, and when he laid his hand on her cheek he stroked his thumb against her skin and sighed. “I want you so much,” His voice was soft as he studied her features. “But I already know your mamá won’t allow it.”

“Mi mamá has no reason to know,” She brought a hand to the side of his neck and moved closer to him until they were chest to chest, leaning her forehead against his and smiling at the feeling of his breath against her face as his hand fell to her waist. “I love her so much, I do, but she believes she can control more than she can. She thinks she can control me and who I fall in love with – I know she has been out trying to track down an hombre for me – but I refuse to let her. If we have to keep this a secret for the time being so we can be together, then fine. You make me so happy and I am not letting her ruin that.”

His hold on her waist tightened as he leaned back a little to look at her. “So…what now then?”

“We carry on like normal for a while,” She shrugged. “Mamá will catch on quickly if we spend too much time together in town. I think she already has her suspicions and that would only convince her further. We have this though,” She pats the wooden panels of the treehouse beneath them. “She knows nothing about this place. The only people that do are us and my hermanos. Félix too, probably, because I know Pepa sneaks him up here no matter what she says. None of them would run and tell mamá about us if they found out though. Not even Bruno. He might – no, he will – complain, but he won’t do that to me.”

“As long as I get to hold you, I’m contenta no matter what.” He admitted.

He released her hand then and opened his arms to her and she smiled, shuffling into them without so much as a second thought and lying her head on his chest as he wrapped them tight around her. She could feel him running a hand up and down her back as they laid there together in comfortable silence for a time, her own hand curled into his shirt, and her eyes fell shut when he buried a kiss in her curls.

She already knew it was going to be hard to keep their relationship a secret from her mother.

They would be discreet and, like she said, her brother and sister would keep their secret if they asked, but this was her mamá she was talking about. It was as though she had a sixth sense or something. In her childhood, she managed to know she and her hermanos were going to get themselves into trouble long before they even had the idea to do so. It was rare that things got by her, so there was the slight fear she would work it out before she was ready for her to, but she would stand her ground regardless.

She was almost an adult now, a fully grown woman, and she was allowed to make her own choices.

She was allowed to be with the man she loved if she wanted to be and that was exactly what she’d do.

No matter what her mamá said.

[otissbluebearshirt]

I See Red 18+

Chapter 13 - I Remember Everything

Word Count: 6470

Series Masterlist | Full Masterlist

The next morning, not only did Selina wake up with the mother of all hangovers and a headache that could rival any other, but she was able to recall every single detail of what happened the night before. And fairly clearly too, meaning from the second she opened her eyes and was forced to face the world she was overwhelmed with such embarrassment that it made her want to crawl back under her covers and stay there forever. 

Why, oh why, did she have to go and get so drunk when she knew, for a fact, that she would cave from even the slightest hint of temptation? And when Crowley was around, the temptation levels always surpassed one hundred percent as Selina often found herself struggling to keep her self-control in check – if you couldn’t tell by how many times she’d nearly slipped up these past few months and allowed Crowley to absolutely ravish her.

At least those times her conscience stepped in and stopped her from going too far beyond what was considered morally right.

Though, that couldn’t be said for last night – which was by far the worst she’d ever been and she was absolutely certain that her conscience would have been too drunk to have cared about what was right and probably would have allowed her to allow Crowley to take advantage of her had he not stopped her. And she couldn’t have felt more grateful that he did because if he hadn’t, she’d have not only woken up with more regrets than just a bottle of tequila, but she’d have gotten a real eye opener and would probably be reconsidering her feelings for him right about now. 

Why hadn’t she just left her phone at home or given it to Sam when she downed that sixth tequila shot? She never would have been able to send Crowley that selfie, which she was really hoping she looked good in, if she had and perhaps then he wouldn’t have shown up and she wouldn’t have ended up making such a fool of herself that she couldn’t bring herself to get out of bed. 

What the hell had she been thinking? Throwing herself at him like that? Telling him she couldn’t resist him anymore? She might as well just call him up and confess that she was all but in love with him – which after last night, she was fairly certain that she was and she was not looking forward to receiving the phone call he promised her as she wasn’t fully sober yet and couldn’t trust herself not to blurt it out, thus scaring him away. 

Crowley may not be the demon he once was but he was still a demon, and as far as Selina knew, demons couldn’t love anything let alone a human and she really didn’t need the extra embarrassment of him having to tell her that should it slip from her lips. 

So, for the time being, it was probably best that she let his call go to voicemail until she’d sobered up completely, that way she’d get to keep the last ounce of dignity she had left and wouldn’t have to flee to a different country. Not that that would work as Crowley could literally teleport, but still, it would make her feel a little bit better. 

Here’s hoping that wouldn’t be the case though as she didn’t fancy telling Castiel the truth about why he was dropping her in the middle of the Irish countryside because she wasn’t able to fly there properly. It had never been confirmed that she was on the no-fly list but considering all the times she’d been number two on the FBI’s most wanted list, she couldn’t take the chance. 

Although, come to think of it, a federal prison might be just what she needed to avoid facing Crowley as seconds after her decision to “ignore” him he decided to call her, making her stomach start to churn worse than it already did and her hand twitched furiously out of eagerness to pick up the phone. And she probably would have had it not been for Kit and his well-timed get out of bed and feed me or I’ll bite your toes meow, causing Selina to retract her hand instantly and start smothering the cat with kisses for saving her. 

Until Kit meowed again, wiggled from her hold then proceeded to try and bite her toes through her duvet.

“Alright. Alright. Stop biting me, you menace.” Selina chuckled, curling her toes in an attempt to keep them safely out of reach of Kit and his razor-sharp teeth, that he kept trying to sink into the thickness of her covers. “God, are you a cat or a ghoul?”

Meow – which roughly translates to both.

“Ghoul-cat?” Selina questioned humorously, tilting her head a little and finding amusement when Kit meowed back at her, as though he was answering and it wouldn’t have surprised her if he'd said yes. She chuckled again as she shuffled up in her bed, taking a second to allow her head to settle should she stand up and immediately fall over.

At that moment, as Selina took a silent vow never to touch a bottle of tequila again, a soft knock at the door echoed throughout her room and she lifted her head, causing it to immediately start throbbing beneath her skull from such a sudden, and rather harsh movement. 

Not that she should even feel the pain over the nausea in her stomach mixed with the tightening of her chest and the fact that Kit had burrowed under her duvet and was biting her toes again. 

Was that Crowley who had knocked? Had he shown up to talk to her since she ignored his call? Quite possibly. He did have a tendency to show up unannounced after calls and texts, for reasons that Selina didn’t know but didn’t overly care about because it meant she got to see him, so she wouldn’t have put it past him if he did. 

If that was the case then she could say goodbye to her remaining dignity and hello to shameless desperation as she would absolutely be following through on the events of last night. And with zero regrets too. Selina may not be drunk anymore and her conscience was, for sure, wide awake but that didn’t mean she was about to deprive herself of her one true desire any longer.

It was becoming blatantly obvious to Selina that she couldn’t resist him anymore and if that was Crowley outside in the corridor, then so help anyone who walked past her bedroom because they would be hearing things that would send even the strongest of sinners running straight to church.

Luckily for the bunker’s residents though, and for Selina’s self-image, it was not Crowley knocking on her door and she didn’t think it was either – not anymore, anyway. For starters he hadn’t announced himself, like she might have expected him to and secondly, he hadn’t just come barging in when she hadn’t answered in 0.5 milliseconds as he had the least amount of patience of anyone she’d ever met. Herself included. 

In fact, there was only one person it could be as there was only one person out there who respected her privacy enough to wait patiently for her response and didn’t just saunter into her room whenever he felt like it – even if there was a cat inside that he desperately wanted to play with and that had better stop biting Selina before she banished him to Dean’s room for a while.

“Cat, are you awake?” Castiel called quietly through the door, just as Selina released all the air from her lungs and felt the minor relief, mixed with an ounce of disappointment wash over her body. 

“Yeah, come on in, Cas.” Selina replied, in a quieter tone than this interaction would normally require as Castiel would have heard her regardless of whether she’d yelled or whispered. 

Thank God, literally, for his celestial hearing because Selina did not need any unnecessary noise today and to tell the truth, she was highly tempted to stay in bed all day and not leave unless she absolutely had to.

The bedroom door creaked open and just like that Kit zoomed out from under her covers and disappeared, no doubt heading for the kitchen in search of food and from the smell of bacon that was making Selina feel nauseous again, he was guaranteed to find some.

“Dean asked me to check on you.” Castiel told her, his voice riddled with mild disappointment as he’d been secretly hoping to get some Kit-time in whilst they talked – despite having looked after him the entire time the Winchesters were on their extravagant monster hunt around America.

“Scared I’ll throw another boot at him for disturbing me?” Selina asked humorously, thinking back to the last time Dean had come barging into her room when she was trying to sleep off her hangover only to end up being greeted by one of her, rather heavy, combat boots. 

That’ll teach him to knock first – she could have been doing anything but luckily for them both, she’d only been asleep. 

“That’s a fair assumption,” Castiel replied, stepping further into the room as Selina swung her legs over the edge of the bed and took another second to gather herself as it felt like her brain was still on her pillow. “You do get rather angry when you're hungover… and when you’re drunk.”  

“Yeah, among other things.” Selina mumbled, and Castiel tilted his head, his eyes narrowing in question before she brushed him off as she didn’t exactly want to tell him what she meant as that would mean disclosing what happened last night. 

Instead, she stood up, praying she wouldn’t fall back over again as she was feeling particularly light-headed and incredibly delicate, like one sudden movement would cause her to empty the contents of her stomach – and her stomach itself – into the toilet bowl. 

Selina had never experienced a hangover such as this before – one where she could hear her heartbeat in her ears and feel each and every blink of her eyes. You’d think she would have after having watched both her brothers die and go to Hell at one point but even then it hadn’t been this bad. 

Although something told her it was more to do with what happened with Crowley than it was the copious amount of alcohol she’d consumed.

“Hey, Cas,” Selina said quietly, glancing to her side just in time to see Castiel turn back around to face her. “Would you maybe, um… Would you heal me?”

“Heal you?” Castiel repeated, surprised to say the least as Selina was the last person he’d ever expect to ask him to heal their hangover. Dean did it often, Sam on occasion but never Selina. She’d rather suffer in silence than ever ask to be healed so he could only guess that she felt a whole lot worse than she looked.

“Yeah,” Selina nodded, a sheepish smile rising on her face as she edged her way towards him. “I just feel so rough right now and I really don’t want to have to deal with it. Not when I already have a thousand things on my mind.” 

“Is everything okay?” Castiel asked, his face clouding with minor concern before it twisted and his voice dropped deeper than Selina ever would have thought was possible. “Was it Crowley? Did he hurt you last night?”

“What? No, he didn’t hurt me.” Selina replied sternly, almost offended at the insinuation and she really needed to talk to her brothers at some point about them keeping their mouths shut. “He brought me home and he made sure I was okay, that’s all.” 

Only after I tried to throw myself at him, Selina added mentally. But that wasn’t something anyone other than her and Crowley needed to know. 

Or rather, it was something only Crowley would know as Selina was sticking with her plan of pretending she couldn’t remember anything and she could only pray that he didn’t doubt her on it and ask her brothers. 

“Will you just heal me, please?” Selina sighed, finding herself done with this conversation and in desperate need of a shower as she smelled strongly of alcohol. And shame. 

“Of course.” Castiel nodded, opting not to press her on things anymore as he knew how she could get. He made his way further into the room, raising two fingers which he pressed to Selina’s forehead when he drew close enough to reach her. “Feel better?”

“Yeah.”

No. Strangely, Selina didn’t feel much better than she had done seconds ago, which told her that it was, in fact, mostly Crowley related and not tequila-induced like she’d thought. But hey, at least she didn’t have a splitting headache or feel physically nauseous anymore – just emotionally nauseous and she really wished she could talk to someone about it – unluckily for her though, no one around her could ever understand what she was feeling therefore she had no choice but to keep it to herself. 

“Thanks, Cas.” Selina forced a gentle smile, getting a brief nod of the head in return from Castiel before he turned on his heels and headed for the door, just as Dean happened to walk past with a strip of bacon in his hand and a feline friend at his heels. 

“Oh good, you’re up,” Dean said, poking his head around the doorframe as Castiel made his leave. “Sam and I found a case if you want in… Unless you’re too hungover.” He added humorously, and if they came with soundtracks, he’d have gotten nothing but crickets in response.

“Actually, I feel fine.” Well, as fine as could be anyway. 

“Really?” Dean said sceptically, raising an eyebrow. “Because you were up singing karaoke songs for an hour straight before Crowley took you home.”

“Yes, I’m well aware of that, thank you.” Selina replied, outwardly annoyed and she could tell it was amusing Dean by the way he was fighting with the urge to grin. “But if you must know, I got Cas to heal me.”

“Damn, you really must have felt rough to allow him to do that.” Dean mumbled, stepping properly into her room and watching as Kit dived back onto the bed, curling up in the space Selina had once laid in. “That mean you’re up for a case?”

“I guess.” Selina sighed, shrugging her shoulders and leaning back against her vanity. She never was one to say no to a case, not when it would offer her a little distraction from the Crowley of it all, and especially when being in the bunker since Henry died just felt so… suffocating. “What is it?”

“Cliff Notes… There’s a few residents in Fall River currently missing their hearts.” Dean replied, not noticing the slight way Selina seemed to perk up at the mention of the city. Why would he? Only Selina knew where Crowley’s base of operations was, therefore he had no reason to suspect anything. “Seems wolf-y but you know how these things go.”

“Alright, just let me get showered and I’ll meet you in the garage.” Selina said, fighting against the urge to smile like a smitten idiot at the thought of working a case in the one city on Earth Crowley currently resided in. 

Dean nodded then left, leaving Selina feeling incredibly thankful that Castiel had healed her as it meant she could no longer hear her heart, which was currently beating so fast she ought to see a doctor, in her ears anymore. 

Perhaps this case wouldn’t offer her as much of a distraction as she might have hoped. But at this point, she didn’t care and for once she actually managed to get ready before Dean came looking for her as half the time he ran out of patience waiting for her.

Only, before she could actually leave her room and make her way to the garage her phone rang, the name on screen inciting such a swarm of butterflies to erupt in her stomach that she couldn’t bring herself to ignore it this time. She picked it up, taking a deep breath and watching as it rang just a few seconds longer, you know in order to not seem as desperate as she felt. 

Eventually though she picked up, and the moment the phone touched her ear it was time to do something she hadn’t had much experience in — playing the role of a forgetful drunk.

Fingers crossed she could manage it without too many slip-ups. She’d had enough of those lately. 

“Crowley, a little early for a social call isn’t it?” Selina never understood that phrase or why it was used so often in movies and TV. As far as she was aware, social calls didn’t have a certain or appropriate time, but she just couldn’t think of anything else to say.

Other than I know you’re a demon and don’t have any feelings but I’m fairly certain I’m in love with you, please consider making me your Queen – in name only, obviously. 

“What makes you think it’s a social call?” Crowley asked, and if he was disappointed that Selina didn’t openly remember last night, he didn’t let that show in his tone. 

“What else would it be?” Selina replied, and she really hoped she sounded as convincing as she thought she did. 

“Well, for starters I could be calling to ask for your help.”

“My help?” Selina repeated, unable to stop the soft chuckle from leaving her lips. “What could the King of Hell possibly need my help with?”

“Oh, I don’t know… But I’m sure I could think of a few things.” Crowley said, blatantly flirting with her and enjoying every single second of it. Especially when the silence that followed was filled with not but the sound of Selina’s breath shuddering at his words and if he thought hard enough, he could imagine the flutter of her eyelids going along with it.

Keep it together, Selina. 

“If you called just to flirt with me,” Selina began breathlessly, ignoring the flutter of her chest as it only reminded her of the words she wished to confess. “Then I’m hanging up.”

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“Try me.” Selina teased, getting nothing but dead silence in response which told her that Crowley knew she was serious. And that he was trying his hardest not to say anything else that might be considered flirting.

Not that she minded it as quite frankly, she enjoyed his constant teasing — just not today. Not after last night and certainly not when she was still so vulnerable to temptation that should he say the right thing, it would make her summon him directly to her and scar Dean should he come looking for her – which would be any minute now and for once she was praying for an interruption as she wasn’t sure how much longer she could keep this up.  

“I’m guessing you don’t remember last night?” Crowley finally asked, his voice dripping with enough disappointment that Selina’s stomach all but flipped inside her. 

“Not really,” Selina lied, chewing at her lip as her eyes kept constantly flicking to the door in hopes that Dean would come barging in and to her rescue. “I remember you showing up but after that it’s kind of a blur.”

That wasn’t totally a lie. Last night was a blur for her. Only it was more of a someone had changed life’s settings to move at a slower pace than normal, kind of blur. 

“I don’t even remember coming home.”

“I see,” Crowley mused, and again he was outwardly disappointed, making Selina physically bite her tongue so as to not blurt out the truth. “Though I must say, I’m not surprised… You were in quite a state when I showed up.”

“Yeah,” Selina mumbled, glancing down at her feet. “It was our first day back at the bunker since Henry died… Guess it just hit a little harder than I expected it to… Still does, honestly. Must be why I’m so eager to get out of here again.”

“Are you sure that’s wise?” Crowley questioned, and Selina couldn’t help but smile at his concern. 

“I mean, in a psychological sense, probably not,” Selina said humorously, knowing well enough that there wasn’t a shrink around that was skilled enough to deal with what was going on inside her head. “But physically, I'm okay… Thanks to Cas, anyway. And besides… I’m not one to skip out on a hunt. Not when the residents of Fall River are counting on me.” She added playfully. 

It wasn’t exactly the most subtle way of telling Crowley where she was going but it would suffice.

“Fall River?” Crowley repeated, and by his change in tone, that had certainly perked him up a little. “ My Fall River?”

“Mhm.” Selina hummed, about to give in and do a little teasing of her own before her bedroom door swung open, revealing a rather fed up looking Dean, his folded arms and widened eyes telling her to get a move on without a single word having to pass his lips. 

She knew she had previously been hoping for his interruption but now Selina was just pissed. How he always knew the wrong time to show himself, she’d never know.  

With a roll of her eyes Selina sighed, “Listen, I gotta go but I’ll try and call you later.”

And before Crowley even got a chance to reply Selina had hung up, leaving him to bask in the blissful thought of her coming to Fall River. That she would soon be so close to him that, should she want to, he could have her in his very own home, away from any and all interruptions – especially ones that were over six feet tall and drowning in flannel.

In fact, Crowley thought of that and only that for God knows how long. Minutes, hours, days… Truthfully, he had no idea for just how long he had remained on his throne, spaced out with nothing but thoughts of Selina hunting in his home-town rattling around inside his mind. Oh how he’d give anything to see her right now, covered in blood with some poor monster on their knees begging for mercy from her relentless nature – something he once hated yet now, he’d do just about anything to witness first hand. 

No doubt it would be the most attractive thing he’d ever see and perhaps it wouldn’t be such a good idea for him to actually do it. That didn’t stop him though as before he could even think about the consequences of his actions – and after suddenly releasing that he’d been zoned out for so long that the Winchester’s hunt might very well be over and for all he knew they could on their way home again — Crowley had disappeared from his throne. 

When he reappeared he was still in Fall River, thankfully, standing amidst the darkness and it didn’t take him more than a handful of seconds to spot Selina, who was leaning back against the Impala with enough blood covering her that it told Crowley the hunt had gone well. He took a breath, mentally composing himself before he stepped out from the shadows, drawing her attention almost instantly – as though she’d been searching for him since the moment she arrived in town.  

Little did he know, she had. 

“Let me guess,” Crowley began, edging his way closer to her at a pace so purposely slow that he could almost see Selina’s hands twitch out of frustration. “Your brothers are inside cleaning up the mess and you’re out here… Keeping watch?”

“Something like that,” Selina chuckled, a little more breathlessly than under normal circumstances. 

But these weren’t normal circumstances. They were far from normal and they both knew that, which is why Crowley said nothing on the matter and continued to simply look her up and down, drinking in the sight of her post-hunt and causing such a fire to ignite inside her that she had to remind herself they were in public. And that her brothers were mere feet away from her.

“I must say, darling, red’s a wonderful colour on you.” Crowley said, drawing his eyes across every single inch of Selina’s blood-covered neck as her brows furrowed over his words. 

“I’m not wearing any…” Selina began, and she was about to finish the sentence too before Crowley simply raised his eyebrows, lifted his gaze to meet hers and slowly lowered it back down to her neck in meaning. 

That’s when it hit her. He wasn’t talking about her clothing choice, she should have known that as she was wearing flannel and he often made it vocal about his hatred of it. No, he was talking about the werewolf blood that had splattered across her skin and she wouldn’t lie, that fire inside her seemed to flare even hotter than hell when she realised that. And when she realised that he was a little turned on by it too and was about three seconds away from throwing himself at her… How the tables have turned. 

“Oh.” Selina chuckled, dropping her eyes from him and feeling that heat rise to her cheeks a little as she lifted her arm to run her fingers through her hair.

Only she didn’t quite make it there as on her way up she got hit with the urge to give him a taste of his own medicine and finally do some teasing of her own. She stopped by her neck, a sly smile rising on her lips as she slowly rubbed her hand across her skin, smearing the blood over the untouched parts and simply relishing in the hunger-filled way Crowley was gazing at her, his chest moving that much more heavily that it had done a second ago.

“I’m gonna kiss you now.” Crowley told her, without so much as a hint of questioning as he did think he needed to ask, not with how she was all but inviting him in for a hell of a lot more than a kiss. 

And before Selina could have responded, with the words please do, Crowley was all over her, practically mimicking the events of her drunken slip-up – just minus the tequila and future regret. However, this time was a lot more heated now that it was double sided and there was nothing holding them back, except the lingering thought that Sam and Dean might come back from burying the werewolves and spoil the mood by offing Crowley. 

But even that didn’t stop them and with every breathtaking, passionate and downright intoxicating moment that passed, the two of them seemed to fall into a world of their own. Lost in the moment of the earth shattering kiss and at one point, Crowley’s hand slipped under Selina’s t-shirt, causing her to jerk her body a little at the sudden coldness of his touch against her heated skin.

“Fuck,” Selina whispered against his lips, after forcing herself to pull back so she didn’t suffocate. 

The moment her lips left his, Crowley dropped his head and began to litter her neck with fiery kisses, uncaring of the blood as in all his long years he’d had worse in his mouth than a little werewolf blood. Selina was all but writhing beneath his hold and from the firm grip she had on his hair, he was fairly certain it wasn’t in attempts to free herself and so he gave her more, sinking his teeth into her neck and causing the sweetest sounding moan he’d ever heard to escape the back of her throat. 

“Fuck, Crowley,” Selina panted, arching her neck to give him better access despite the words she was about to force out. “Fuck, I want this… You have no idea how much I want this but we can’t… Not here.” 

“Say the word and I’ll take us someplace private.”

Tempting, but she didn’t want her brothers calling her halfway through and demanding answers after her mysterious disappearance, thus spoiling the mood. 

“No.” Selina whispered, feeling as Crowley came to a slow stop and lifted his head, his confusion-filled eyes narrowed in question. She raised her hand, lightly cupping the side of his face before adding, “You said we’ll do it right... So let’s do it right.”

Just like that, Crowley’s confusion vanished and a small smile began to tug at his lips. He hooked his arm around Selina’s waist, pulling her body flush with his and allowing him to make out the shape of her piercings that lay pressed against his chest, only making it ten times harder for him to stop as he’d love nothing more than to drag her into the backseat of the Impala and completely ravish her. 

“You lied to me.” Crowley said, in a pitch so deep he could have sworn he felt Selina’s legs wobble and had he not been holding her, they might have gave way from under her. “You told me you didn’t remember anything from the other night.”

“I remember everything,” Selina confessed, dropping her gaze to land upon her fingers as they fiddled almost anxiously with the buttons on his shirt. “I just wanted to keep what little dignity I had left by pretending that I didn’t.” 

“There’s no need to be embarrassed, darling,” Crowley said softly, hooking his finger beneath her chin to gently lift her face up to look at him. His fingertips carried on, ghosting their way across her skin and brushing her hair behind her ear before settling aside her head. “I’m flattered at how much you want me and had you drunk that bar dry I’d have been all over you… but you know I’d never take advantage of you.”

“What if I want you to take advantage of me? Sober me, of course.” Selina flirted, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth and seeing the fire flare up behind Crowley’s eyes again. 

“Then I’ll tell you what I told you that night.” Crowley retracted his hand a little, dragging his thumb down her lips before he leaned in, pressed a soft kiss against them and whispered, “You know where to find me.”

And in the blink of an eye, he was gone – which was just as well as no more than five seconds later did Sam and Dean return to the car, covered in mud and looking as grumpy as ever that Selina had once again left them to do the dirty work.

But Selina didn’t overly care about that, and she was certainly not going to listen to Dean ramble on about her pulling her weight the entire ride back to the motel, not when she was still in such a heightened state. And even if she wasn’t she still wouldn’t have paid any attention to him, not when her mind lay entirely elsewhere. 

You know where to find me.  

Did Crowley mean that literally? Did he want her to just show up at the asylum he talked so much about and cause rumours to start circulating once his demons caught wind of them or did he mean it in the sense of if she called him then he would come to her? Surely if he meant for her to call him, he’d have just said that, right? Honestly, who knows? Crowley was cryptic at the best of times and get him all riled up like that and he might as well start speaking in riddles.

The entire ride back to the motel Selina couldn't help but ponder those words. Perhaps he did mean it literally. Perhaps he simply wanted to have her in the place he called home, that way they’d be free from disturbances and would finally get everything they’d both been craving since that day in the dungeon. 

Although, if it was privacy he truly wanted then maybe going to the likes of Paris again would be the best option, at least that way they’d be truly free of any and all interruptions. And Selina wouldn't lie, the thought of her first time with Crowley being in Paris made her quiver in ways she’d never felt before and she was almost tempted to ask him to take her there. 

But at the same time, the idea of it being in his home? With the chance of getting caught by unsuspecting demons? Well, she wouldn’t deny, it awoke a part of her she never knew she had and by the time midnight came, she’d made up her mind.

Selina waited until the soft snores of her brothers told her they were fast asleep then snuck out of the motel room. It didn’t take her long to find a cab and before she knew it she was standing outside Crowley’s asylum, where she could only hope that the invitation for her to join him still stood. 

After climbing the steps, she reached the door and hesitated, unsure whether to just walk in, text Crowley and tell him that she was outside or if she should knock. 

Did demons knock? Did they expect people to knock? Doubtful. They probably didn’t expect anyone to be foolish enough to just willingly walk inside an old abandoned asylum that was probably home to multiple species of rodents – and she didn’t just mean demonic ones. 

The outside of the door was covered in sigils but other than that there was only a cheap lock stopping anyone of a human nature from getting inside. So, before she chickened out, Selina picked the lock then slipped quickly inside, where she came to a sudden stop at what was there to greet her. 

Or rather, what wasn’t.

There were no knocked over wheelchairs, abandoned gurney’s or used needles littering the corridors like she would have guessed. Instead, the interior actually looked… clean – in a mediaeval sense that is as she couldn’t help but think she’d wandered back in time and was about to run into Merlin. And she didn’t mean the BBC version. 

The inside of Crowley’s residence looked more like the interior of a castle than it did an asylum, what with the stained glass windows that she couldn’t see from outside and the flaming torches that lit up the stone walls surrounding her. It wasn’t at all what she had expected but to tell the truth, she was kind of digging it and she had to give Crowley one thing, he did have good taste in decor and she would give anything to be able to decorate the bunker like this. 

Nevertheless, Selina carried on through the halls, keeping a firm grip on the angel blade she had stashed inside her jacket. She may be desperate, but she wasn’t stupid enough to go waltzing into a demon’s den unarmed, not after last time. Although, the further in she got the less she began to think she’d need her blade as there didn’t appear to be any souls around, once-damned or not. 

That was, until she turned a corner and collided, quite literally, with a demon. A demon whose vessel sported a curly white moustache and looked as though he’d just gotten back from seeing a tailor, she might add. Guess it wasn’t just Crowley who favoured a three-piece suit over the usual demon attire. 

“Miss Winchester?” The demon spoke, his tone politely surprised yet his face remained emotionless. And it seemed to stay that way, even when Selina pulled out her blade and pressed the tip to the underside of his chin. “There’s no need for that, ma’am, I mean you no harm.”

Ma’am? Since when do demons call people ma’am?

“You really expect me to believe that?” Selina scoffed, standing firm on her spot whilst glancing over her shoulder should any demons decide to sneak up on her whilst she was otherwise occupied. 

“I suppose not given your history with our kind,” The demon replied, still as carefree as could be despite who was standing before him. “But rest assured, I would not hurt you. Not when the King has forbidden it.”

That seemed to snap Selina out of hunter mode and she unknowingly lowered her blade back down to her side, feeling a strange and particularly warm flutter erupt within her stomach. She raised her free hand, running it over the back of her neck and doing her best to avoid eye contact with who she could only assume was Guthrie – Crowley’s right hand man.

“Forbidden it? He’s, uh… He’s forbidden it?” Selina questioned, flustered being an understatement as she was having trouble believing what she was hearing. 

Would Crowley really risk his throne by deeming her, a hunter who has more than likely killed more demons than any other, untouchable?

“Yes, ma’am.” Guthrie replied casually, clasping his hands in front of him. “Now, is the King expecting you?”

That’s a good question, Selina thought to herself. And she could only hope that the answer was yes. 

“I, um…” Selina cleared her throat, still a little shocked from the whole forbidden thing, which is why she couldn’t seem to make up a lie that was less likely to arouse suspicion. “No. I don’t think he is.”

“Right.” Guthrie said, remaining emotionless only this time, his eyes narrowed a little. “Well, no matter… I shall take you to him. Follow me.”

Selina did so without hesitation, growing all the more certain that she was meant to be here. And a little thankful that she had run into Guthrie otherwise, not only would she still be wandering aimlessly around the halls in search of Crowley, but she never would have found out about the hands off he’d ordered on her – something that only made her crave him even more. 

Thankfully, she wouldn’t have to wait much longer to show him that as when she turned the corner after Guthrie, he’d come to a sudden stop outside a set of dark wood doors, the handles of which would normally have been made from iron but were purposely changed to steel. 

“The King is inside.” Guthrie told her, and the second he did he walked off, leaving Selina alone outside of Crowley’s room with about a million different thoughts floating around inside her head, pinging off one another and bouncing against her skull like the dvd logo on an old TV. 

Would Crowley be happy to see her? To see her here , she should say as his default setting had him always happy to see her. But whether that applied to within the halls of his home… Well, she wasn’t sure about that. 

But she’d soon find out the answer to that as before Selina could do anything to stop herself, she raised her hand and knocked.

Chapter 14 ->

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so glad im not alone about ekko. i love the guy and he's got the biggest heart out of everyone, but his approach to the situation feels very oversimplifying the situation and short term solution. shimmer is zaun's best commodity and probably even the only thing the city has that gives it a standing chance at economical indepence from its oppressing city and thus its best shot at independence at all. ekko should surely know this and instead of eradicating shimmer he should think of getting rid of silco's position of power and manage the shimmer business, maybe perfect the product so its not harmful or maximize medicinal potential etc etc. like he is a genius, its within his capabilities!

its so weird bcs this would have been a perfect metaphorical tidbit with his relationship with jinx. ekko is strongly hinted to be the first to accept both sides of jinx and to see that shimmer doesn't make the person a monster... so why not have that reflect in his perception of shimmer towards all zaunists overall? that shimmer isnt the monster, but how it is managed. its just like heimerdinger's words about hextech too ["I've seen this power in the wrong hands. It corrupts, consumes, lays waste to civilizations"]. the show could come full circle with this.

instead they chose ekko to have a white/black perception of shimmer. its understandable but also a waste, unless they plan to possibly change this and this is all actually in the process of ekko to one day re-evaluate his view of shimmer in s2

About shimmer being the best commodity : I would understand Ekko better if shimmer was just a drug that malforms you... But sadly shimmer is shown as :

1/ A cool party drugs that didn't really affect people in the years they've used it (Silco's gang) 2/ A fantastic mechanical fuel that also gives you a physical boost without known drawbacks 3/ A miraculous drug, where 2 drops mixed in other products can heal a massive gut wound in minutes

It's literally the philosopher's stone of Zaunite inventions, and double sadly the show decides to 'tell' us about the damage shimmer did. The 5 people living in the little slum outside the dispenser are by no means a good representation. In a way Heimer's walk to the Undercity was more impactful, but none of the violence and poverty if showed could be construed as a 'new thing' that wasn't also there under Vander and even before that.

The show's desire to 'keep it vague' also means it undercuts Ekko's position.

OR the show could go for that slightly more childish mentality, that Silco dead and his operation stopped will make everything go away and be better, and actually SHOW THIS to be a slightly deluded fantasy coming from an isolated community made primarily of dreaming teens. Good intentions and dreams but flawed foundation. This could even be understanding he'd GROW alongside his relationship with Heimerdinger! He may not be wise to current politics, but he understands how the world works, and sees things in the longer term (while Ekko doesn't).

But no, the show just goes : aren't they good? They're the proof there are good Zaunites who love trees and fresh air.

And you're right about Jinx. You could have a more mature Ekko who has come to realise the power of shimmer, but also thinks it's a tool in the hands of the wrong man, and that Silco doesn't fight honestly for Zaun (insert grudges and reasons here, one of which could be that he's running Zaun as a business instead of a community, that he's allying with any criminal so long as he expends his union and power, that he's ready to kill any number of people to get to that goal, as he killed Vander...) He could clearly resent Jinx for staying allied to Silco, when she should know better and he killed Vander, but Jinx is emotionally invested in Silco and can't afford to lose him or the support he provides, emotionally and financially, and she's a cruel girl in the show... I don't think she'd care for people suffering due to shimmer. Jinx has a strong flavour of believing that the strong should rule, and that's why she's so hung up on being stronger than her sister, and stronger by any means necessary. She sees the world in victims and bullies, and fully intends to be established as a bully.

Ekko could grow! I'm curious to see where he goes. It's just a shame that the show doesn't treat him as such. I hope they don't waste his character by pigeonholing him into the 'kool sk8ter kid who's kinda smart when convenient'. That would be truly sad.

[fromthelemontrees]

The Art in Experimentation

There we go, a sufficiently pretentious title for my ramblings.

Alright so sometimes I get into my head about things and want to add layer upon layer.

Plan and study.

Plan and study some more.

And some more.

“And some more" ad nauseam.

I broke this recently. I knew I needed some internal work done and drafted the medicine intuitively and I broke my own heart.

For as dramatic as that sounds, it was that I injured myself because I did not dose myself properly.

Here's the thing, as literal as that heart pain was, I don't regret it. I did something, I learned something valuable - not only about myself but also about my craft, about my work, about me.

First, dang, I'm pretty darn good at this! Not really new but it's nice to affirm the gift laid in my hands by my blessed ones.

Second, perhaps I should do a little more follow up.

Third, while I may have had no questions about the why it worked, I should pay a bit more attention to potency.

Fourth, how one's “consumption style” influences the efficacy of the work.

The second and third elements are things I absolutely consider for clients. I know I can knock some socks off, and thus, my advice for my regular items is only around 1mL (20 drops) at a time and I will send for a follow-up. That's in spite of the fact that I know that I formulate with the principle that it should be well-tolerated by most people even a bit beyond what I intend for them to take; meaning a full dropper is a reasonably safe mistake to make. Don't do that but if it happens, you are likely to be ok in the physical medicine sense.

I didn’t treat myself with the same care I would a client. I was being lackadaisical in my approach and got a swift kick to the ass for it.

This is my work, I do this. So, I know that for what I was doing there for a few things I could have done differently. I could have diluted it, could have changes the ratios, or I could have changed out some of the plants I know have certain spiritual components I might engage with more easily, etc.

New rule number one: no more lazy formulations for me, I am also to be treated like a client.

But the fourth. Oooooo the fourth.

I know how I consume medicine and I know how I intend for others to do so. But life doesn’t always match our intention, or a schedule for that matter.

I can take most forms but if it's kinda bitter, I prefer a dropper, and if it's warm I like to take my time. I also like to minimize waste so I should small batch just in case I can't use it all or be very exacting in my measurements so the course is finished exactly on time.

All of that to say that making 3 bottles of a new tisane is a weird decision, even if I was guided towards that decision.

Did I say I was on the go that day too? That also played a part in my decision to get so much down in one go.

Still, there was more to this experimental medicine.

In the process most times, I learn an interesting fact about, gain a new understanding of or a different interpretation for the spirit.

What I learned that time was more about the things I do to hurt my own heart.

Do I need to be other's pin cushion? Do I need to let people mismanage me? What have my sacrifices provided me? Was I setting myself on fire? Was it even keeping anyone warm? How far does the sense of duty, obligation and responsibility carry me? How far should it?

I wasn't happy for like two days after completing the medicinal course. How was I supposed to be when it threw a lot of my relationships into question? Not even just the relationships but my personal work ethic as it relates to them.

I broke my own heart drawing that issue out; I needed to be open enough to hear and receive that critique in how I engage with others.

Did I get an answer to how to correct that? No, of course not, nobody else could answer for me but I was rather pissy about it if I'm to be slightly crass.

Alas, is it really an experiment if I don't try again?

I did, the following week. I tempered, reduced the quantity (a thermos), and introduced a brightening element to gladden the heart. I was ready to try again.

The first consistency was it, again, awakened the contemplative mind.

The doors were thrown and pinned open.

Fortunately this time, I knew was was coming.

Whether or not that changed anything, not quite sure because that next experience was very different.

I thought I knew and I did not.

I felt colder, like armor settled over me, but my blood was hot like a magma. The pressure of cold becoming hot. The hiss, while faint, was unmistakable. The whispers of gliding metal shifting along, the pressure weighing until a crack formed.

Out walked the spirit of the warrior. Or perhaps it is best articulated as I walked into the domain of the warrior and returned changed. I was woken, my chains shaken loose. The strategist who absolutely knows how to get from one point to another. What is wanted will be obtained.

There was a moment where I wanted to pause and I was told not to stop, it's necessary to keep drinking to keep the path of revelation open. Instead of processing myself, I was hearing directing again.

In a peculiar way, I began to further understand the place of this medicine. It shines into the space between awareness of the issue and constructing a plan to resolve it.

Here, this is who you need to be to endure.

Such injuries to my heart ultimately made for the murder of the golden, peacemaking goose. The part of me that cared, that wanted to maintain relationships, that sought betterment…That person is dead.

The warrior, the fighter, the defender, now stood in place of the peaceful one. Defiantly.

Soon after, I closed the medicine bottle. The revelation happened, no more was needed.

Both experiences I would describe as cold, factual; the second felt strengthening, even if I felt no elation or anything of the like. It was a very neutral “it is”, which I understand.

While I may want to let bygones be bygones, now is not the time for hanging on to people that, in action and in spite of their words, want to let me go. I conveniently forget that continuously jabbing your fingers into a wound prevents healing at best and spreads an infection at worse.

In my later reflections of that medicine, even now, I’m certain that the introduction of a brightening element was a good idea even if it didn’t necessarily do what I thought it would. In this case, it was taken to mean “unburdening” the heart and, in my case, to do so meant awakening a sleeping bear. The only path forward was to, by any and all means necessary, handle it.

I also think its worth noting is that they do read the values of ones own heart as opposed to your words.

These things, I think reaffirm what I felt in the interaction, that I was, in some way, holding my heart to God; not simply for assessment but for aid.

This is part art, part science and that’s what I love about this work. It builds up my researcher’s intuition, emphasizes optimization even in not optimal conditions, and hones my skill. I love that it can be as methodical (like my original training of going through each plant one by one) or as chaotic (see above) as I want.

And to a degree, every passion project can be treated this way. It can be all research and compilation or it can be all creativity and whimsy. It’s truly up to you but don’t get so far in your head about it that you don’t experiment, or never do anything at all with your interests.

As for me?

Soon enough, I’ll try to optimize the formula because I do love a good optimization and streamlining problem.

Blessings,

From the Lemon Trees

[crookedvultures]

fuck it deep dive into why the hell i got into o/v/er/w*tc/h

for all the griping i do about cd projekt dropping the ball on river’s story, nothing is more humiliating than my once-upon-a-time main guy being from a “video game” so poorly written and comically shallow that it’s more known for porn than the actual story (of which there is none). and that’s not even a joke - it literally does not have consistent “lore” bc it’s been passed around between dozens of writers for several years who never communicated. example: the cowboy has 3 different official “canon” ages depending on what source you use

how i got sucked in

if i never skipped the first day of the winter semester in 2018 bc it was cold outside, i wouldn’t have wasted my day on tumblr and thus would have never saw gabe on my dash. i knew of ovw bc of the fanart and unfunny memes like everyone else online but i never paid attention until that moment. with the amount of content there was and how many of my friends abandoned their fandoms for it, i thought it was a serious rpg and i found out it was a fucking online-only first person shooter, the literal bottom tier for me as far as games go

but i thought it was a sign that i needed to “do my homework”. except there was no homework. what i thought the established “canon” i saw everywhere was just fanon. there was nothing to go off of. reaper didn’t have a cinematic or a comic and had a total of 4 lines of dialogue in his human form

why was it so compelling

the landscape was different in 2016 when ovw dropped bc that’s when the conversation abt representation in video games was at its height. but looking back, and knowing that games like apex legends did everything overwatch promised infinitely better, it was never that “diverse” to begin with and the way they handled that diversity was just weird. it’s crazy to put in perspective that it was ever considered so “progressive” and “game changing”.

every east asian chara is an orientalist fantasy. they never confirmed gabe’s ethnicity and just let people run with the ’’vaguely brown but 100% terrorist’’ narrative that permanently ruined his fanon characterization. they made a racist skin for ph4rah and then quickly retconned her into being half-indigenous canadian to combat the backlash and then never mentioned that aspect of her identity again. mccr33 had a confederate skin. the women all have the same face. the only reveal a character is queer when there’s a major scandal. oh yeah, and every character is literally a stereotype

i personally never cared about the promised “representation” bc it was like a parody like tf2. i thought they were doing the satirical total drama island thing but for games. i couldn’t believe that people were legitimately into it for the blatant pandering, but i thought it must’ve had a good and compelling concept. when i watched the cinematics and read the available comics, i thought it did

why i got into it

the sole reason is bc i was fascinated by gabe. outside of his appearance, i became interested in how he went from being the leader of the covert ops division to being the Main Villain

the lack of details in the established groundwork was everything to me, who was starved for a new place to take my writing after star wars completely killed all my creativity. blizzard gave a sample of what could have been and their laziness allowed my mind to run free. rather than be intimidating by writing due to too much lore and information (star wars) or turned off completely because the existing material was just so little (river), ovw hit the sweet spot for my brain. blizzard gave me a bare bones skeleton and i did the rest

people complained about gabe’s powers never being explained, but i loved it. my idea was that he did in fact die in the hq disaster but was reborn due to “reaper” taking full control after fighting his body for decades. reaper himself is still gabe behind the wheel but in wraith form. the smoky ghost ermac-esque version popularized in fanarts is what gave me the inspiration, along with ripping off the entire concept of “stands”. i never liked the idea that reaper was a demonic creature with a bunch of teeth or a vampire. he was just a ghosty gabe in my books

i also hated the way the fanon adopted the notion that gabe was “jealous” that he was relegated to blackwatch bc i saw that as being his purpose: the thankless dirty work. he didn’t need bureaucratic red tape stopping him from cleaning up the messes ovw made. he made an entire covert ops division and recruited jesse personally. their dynamic was also a huge thing for me, sometimes in a shippy way and sometimes in a mentor-mentee way and a lot of the time both

ovw was an untapped narrative goldmine that gave me so much creative juice that’s still gone unmatched (river came the closest, but like i said above, his problem wasn't lack of detail - it was that there was so little)

i also liked ana and her complicated relationship with her daughter. the relationship between jesse and gabe was similarly captivating, being that it was my all time fave trope: jaded cynical older character (gabe) winds up becoming the mentor of a slightly naive but promising newcomer in whatever field they’re in (jesse). i wanted to know how it would play out once they were face to face: would it be student becomes master or would jesse regret ever thinking he could get out of gabe’s shadow? neither, because they fucking lied and did nothing

also, gabe was sexy. i can’t discount how hot reaper was, but when i saw how he used to look before the Vague Experiment happened i knew i wasn't immune to Sarcastic Gruff Dilf. there was actually a period of time after i watched venom that i became more obsessed with reaper than gabe bc i envisioned him being more tangible and monster-like than ghostly.

what it did for my writing

i only stuck to two sides of the fandom: ana and pharah’s relationship and mcreyes/blackwatch. ana was naturally characterized as the “mom” because of her age, but she also got sucked into “pair the spares” so people shipped her with the other Old Man. she was also a victim of blizzard not giving a fuck about their female characters so the fandom at large relegated her to being the mediator between gabe and the captain america expy, bc that’s how “canon” presented her. on the other hand, pharah’s “lore” was completely unfinished and she was only ever mentioned in relation to being the “mean lesbian” with no personality gf to whichever more popular female character fit the bill. so i wrote my own character studies about them and didn’t really include any other characters bc i just didn’t care. this is also how i got to develop The OC Formerly Known As Xia's backstory and character

despite how unserious the fans were expected to take the source material, i somehow crafted my most intricate aus and worldbuilding bc of overwatch. i loved gabe the way i never loved a fictional video game man until river. i’m so on and off and never engaged with the fandom beyond a few fics but gabe stuff i wrote for myself. i fully ignored whatever came out about gabe if it conflicted with the character i portrayed in my stories and was content believing that there would never be content for him again, in the same way writers who write for series that have been dead for years do. why? bc blizzard lied about worldbuilding and didn’t deliver on the promises for comics, tv series and the fucking movie (lol. lmao even).

but i still loved gabe. i used the anger i had at blizzard for refusing to confirm basic details and fanon for reducing him into a stereotype that plagued every other fic of him. i hated that any discussion of gabe was punctuated with j*ck and always vilified gabe instead of exploring the nuances of his character. i hated that half the art of him was twinkified and whitewashed and i couldn't tell it apart from st*v*t*ny. but in my stories he was everything. he was the reason i made my most cherished OC and explored themes i shyed away from before

i still love him. i think about him every time i get too into a new thing or a new guy my brain constantly thinks up ways to insert him. the irony is that gabe and ovw are the most shallow 1-dimensional IPs but i've got more out of it creativity wise than anything else i've ever been into

[mentality-of-wukong-au]

Like this https://www.tumblr.com/mentality-of-wukong-au/727942315237408768/spirit-logs

*Rin Muhou Havoc.

A lot has changed since these three have gained the power of a physical form. My dear Mow has gone missing so I’ll have to write the logs manually…

As I said before, Rin Muhou is an adoptive child of Chikao Muhou, the Red Buttocked Horse Monkey. (It’s a Baboon…why is this his full name? It’s literally just a Baboon) They were the first to have problems regarding gaining her physical form, thus Mow decided to give her shapeshifting. This was actually a problem for me, I didn’t express it much in my last log, but Mow turned them into physical beings….without my permission…

Anyway…she was rewarded for their spectacular feat in changing the mind of The Jade Emperor, which is a spectacular achievement considering The Azure Lion, a long-time Celestial was turned away for his ‘oversight and vision’ of this world…honestly why did the boy even try? At least The Havocs ensured that they wouldn’t cause Chaos anymore when they had children…though I wonder if the Bermuda Triangle counts…She also defended Wukong against the 10 Kings who most notably did the most stupidest thing I’ve seen in a while, because how the fuck did you forget the Monkey King has a lock on his door? Then again they were up against a child…imagine getting dropped kicked by a child in court, that’s hilarious. Especially if you’re like a millennia old god like the 10 Kings and The Jade Emperor.

Rin has gone through so much in these past…gee I don’t even know how many arcs there were…the chaos seems to spread within her children as they plummet into the depths that his the chaotic adventures of old.

I remember she lost an arm? How did that happen again?

Antonio Muhou Havoc (Or Shifu)

Most of my data of him is the same…Got adopted, joined the mafia, disappeared for 13 years. Died, revived, err…did he die again or was that Rin? No wait it was Mathias…nah…I’m getting them mixed up…Jesus…

He got pregnant with twins (Yes that can happen even though he’s a dude) and still continued his work in the mafia, he’s a family-oriented guy, a sweet husband, with the power to summon whatever he wants at will. He has two siblings, (Biological) who still work a clothing shop in Megapolis, they helped with Zazhu’s wedding dress, which looked so nice by the way. Love their sense of taste. I will add that the guy has abandonment issues and self-worth issues to work on. But Rin seems to have the guilty trauma and low self-esteem.

Mathias Muhou Havoc.

Aroace and an emotional guy, who loves potions. And science, give this guy a lab coat, some gloves and goggles and you have yourself Tongbei’s little mad scientist in crime. (Seriously Tongbei CANNOT make a proper potion at times, do NOT trust him to make poison for you, because likely he will kill instead of incapacitate)

Might act all tough but he’s a soft cookie for his family. He was once a villain named ‘Xiu’ the guy that gave him identity issues due to Paramita’s Mask…he keeps blaming himself, but seriously, you can’t blame yourself for wanting attention, that’s just basic human stuff mate.

I’m not even going to add his past life, because I know a large number of people in this community will end up dead-naming him and I will personally break anyone’s neck so should that happen. However, Mathias died due to suffocation, due to his Mask that got glued to him when he died. I now realized the reason why Mow chose disintegrating power, because she thought it’d be ‘funny’ to let the guy who died from suffocation, have the ability to technically suffocate his enemies in ASH. I find her humor quite concerning…

And lastly is Zazhu Shifu (Or Muhou Havoc)

I placed a separate log for him actually because I noticed something concerning about him…

But you didn’t hear that from me…perhaps he’s here because he���s Antonio’s husband.

Zazhu Shifu is the Brother of the Great Monk’s reincarnate, ‘Tang Shifu’ he is the first born of a very shitty family, who cared no less of him and abandoned him in the car to die of heatstroke (Yes they literally wanted to kill him.) fortunately he was miraculously saved when the mafia he joined, accidentally kidnapped him too and brought him to the leader, whom eventually adopted him as his own.

Cue years later, and Zazhu fixed his relationship with Tang (It was strained due to their parents) and eventually the brothers rebelled against their parents, living happily under the comfort of their husbands and children.

Zazhu is a skilled mortal, with no magical capabilities, his main weapon is a gun (obviously) and he has abnormal speed and agility, being able to dodge bullets even on the run. There are rumors that he also has high-pain tolerance, though I’m not sure if that theory is true…

Then there’s his connection as Tang’s brother…I’m just wondering if there are any side effects…

Oh well…can’t place that here, can I?

[gobs-o-cs]

So I have roughly finished the next character - But I was working on brushing up/finalizing his backstory, which includes two parts - The part where he makes his Warlock pact, which actually was relatively all new beyond the bare-bones concept* because I only just finalized what specifically his pact should actually be, mechanics-wise**. This bit is the really easy, generic bit that could work for him as a backstory in pretty much any D&D campaign I'd play as him, or even use him as an NPC.

The second part of his story was to integrate him into the larger context of the world I'm building - Connect him to some other characters.

This was always going to be him and his new partner/patron stumbling into a legitimate Cult Settlement, full of true believers, with a charismatic leader at the head of things. Thus pitting one kind of traditional conman vs. another kind of traditional conman. What would a Snake-Oil Salesman/Fake Exorcist do against a Cultist Compound? Fun contrast.

Of course, this being a world with literal gods and other such powers, it wasn't going to be that simple - The Cult Leader is indeed a Cleric deriving divine power from this new, upstart god/pantheon that claims to be whispering all the solutions to the world's problems into his head. So the Cult Leader is as true of a believer as the rest of the cult, and not just a scammer at the top, looking to take everyone's money and run - But are these "gods" legit? Are they actually as benevolent as they claim, or perhaps some sort of sinister force looking to sew chaos in the world?

And of course, as a final twist, the "gods" themselves had been imprisoned by the long-forgotten Precursor Empire, with what appears to be a specific Aasimar Paladin magically sealed into stasis to help maintain the binding magic, and to help hunt them down should the seal ever be broken***. Of course, the seal gets broken, and "gods" go from whispering promises of power to whoever sets them free, to fully out there in the world, with a full-blown cult already doing their bidding.

So, yeah, beyond Silas here, and his Patron/Companion Gwendolen, I wanted to have a pretty clear picture of the Aasimar Paladin Vehemens, the Cult Leader, Brother XIII (Human Cleric), and his two top servants Eggren Hard-Head (White Dragonborn Paladin), and ...Well, I hadn't thought up who the other one was going to be until just a couple of days ago - Fia Wilbur (Wereboar Ancestor Beasthide Shifter, College of Spirits Bard).

So, yes, taking the time to get all their appearances, builds, and backstories sorted is indeed taking a while.

ANYWAY!

Getting back on-track to tonight specifically: I hadn't actually planned on doing much writing - I was just going to play some video games, but as I was sitting there, I had an idea pop back into my head.

There's a couple concepts I've had in mind for the world-building - One was the specific nature of "Divinity" vs. just "Powerful Immortal Being", and another was "There's a reason why some people become adventurers/PCs/gain class levels at a far accelerated rate, but not everyone does".

So, the divinity one is pretty basic, and the broad concept is pretty common for D&D-type settings - Deities get their powers from belief/worship - Maybe not all of their powers, but a significant chunk. This includes Gods, TItans, Primordials, etc. The little drops in the bucket of individual belief/faith that a being has power, increased with specific worship of that being, really adds up when you have whole religions of believers out there (Including all the souls persisting in the afterlife who still can have their faith). This can even lead to mortal beings ascending to deity status if there's enough faith in them out there. I wrote out and detailed some of the ideas I had for specifics on this - How exactly things work in my world, essentially. The key being that the beliefs are very self-reinforcing - The more it becomes known that a deity controls this and that, or that they did such and such great feats as part of their lore, the more power they specifically have to influence that domain, or use that specific ability. How is this governed? Well, some sort of even higher force in the universe guides it somehow. Nobody's had a great answer for that.

Tying back to the character's I've been specifically working on - The "gods" of the cult were beings (most likely mortals from the Precursor Empire) that tried hacking this system somehow to elevate themselves to Godhood. I've even got some rough idea of how their pantheon-of-sorts works, and how Brother XIII is meant to undergo the same process they did and ascend to be the 13th member of their pantheon - That's the reward they're promising him anyway. Now, on the surface, they're not inherently evil - But they very much are disruptive to the existing status quo - Ironic for a worship system that centres Equilibrium (and is primarily Order Domain, though each of the 12 aspects corresponds to one of the Divine Domains in the D&D books that I have access to - With Life and Grave/Death sharing the Persistence aspect, which will be split into Inevitability for the existing aspect - Keeping Grave/Death, and Continuity - Transferring the Life domain to Brother XIII as he ascends (he's still an Order-Domain Cleric - Think of them all as Order Domain, governing another domain, essentially)

As to the PCs part - I've decided that it's a known *Thing* in the world that sometimes, after doing something - Usually big and important, but sometimes small and ordinary, that people can become "Storied" individuals. In that, the universe seems to be looking in on their story specifically, and granting them some power in terms of becoming stronger/more skilled far more rapidly that they might otherwise have progressed, as well as giving them a little bit more luck in staying alive as their growing prowess leads to them seeking out greater and greater challenges - Whether by choice or necessity. It's seen as almost as much of a curse as a blessing.

Anyway, hammering out all of these details took several more hours than I had initially planned on sitting here writing tonight.

But, y'know, you've gotta strike while the iron is hot when it comes to these sorts of bursts of inspiration, right?

Anyway, with any luck, I'll keep chipping away at statting-out characters, making their minis, and getting all their backstories and the big story of the whole inciting incident where The Twelve are freed, and Vehemens awakens and must work with Silas to try to escape the cult and begin working to re-imprison the false gods.

**[Conman accidentally someone performs some sort of binding ritual while doing a fake exorcism, and now is bound to a powerful entity of some sort].

**[I actually ended up settling on Genie/Chain pacts because I'd done ones with Fiends already and more earmarked. Fiend made more sense for this setup when I first conceptualized the character, moreso than Archfey or Great Old One. But there's more options out there now for patrons - And while it was very, very close to being Undead, in the form of some sort of powerful ghost, Genie (Djinn, specifically) won out because the flavour of him being a conman/huckster at heart, always wouldn't have necessarily carried as well with mechanics focused around being legitimately frightening and unearthly. But a Djinn, who also delights in clever schemes? That could very much work for a partner - Plus, with a Sprite being a legitimate Familiar option now, I could have the Djinn take on a visage of a miniature, limited-power version of herself and interact with things other than just Silas himself]

***I Don't think I've ever specifically mentioned the lore of my world here on this blog so far, because I'm hesitate to say things that I haven't 100% finished/set in stone with regards to that, but, story-wise, all Aasimar in this world come from a time in the distant past, at the height of a Roman-Empire style civilization's reign. They were believed to be the Chosen of the Gods, having developed from otherwise Human [And only Human, clearly the Gods' favoured race, you see - At least as far as the Precursors were concerned, and have preserved in terms of individuals and records] babies and revealing their Celestial heritage at some point, usually around puberty, and before adulthood. They were then taken by the state when discovered and molded into leaders and champions of whatever god they were linked to.

However, something happened to the Empire - And the world as a whole. They were able to see that the Cataclysm was coming, and that the "Chosen of the Gods" (Aasimar) would be needed to save the world some time in the distant future, so through some sort of magical ritual, various individual Aasimar were put into a magical stasis - They'd reawaken only when the world specifically needed them again. The Cataclysm was more than just a force of physical destruction - Something happened that much of the written/etched records of the Empire disappeared, and any individuals in the world that weren't wiped out by The Cataclysm, were now magically blocked from remembering details about The Empire - Including, as it turns out, the Aasimar Chosen who had lived there - Even with their magical stasis.

Anyway, since then, no new Aasimar had been born in the world (Until Clara "Novelty" Morgan's nature asserted itself - Significant enough on its own, but especially with her being born a Tiefling). The only Aasimar are those who get found and inadvertently reawakened from their stasis chambers. They now have to travel the land, try to find each other, determine what threat this new world is facing, and adjust to new realities - Basically, great characters to form various adventuring groups around.

[thatoneguy031]

[Guy awoke next to the tree he was knocked into last night. The arm he had injured was in Mx. Suicune's jaws, although it didn't seem like they were attacking him. It was almost as though they were trying to numb the pain with some kind of Ice-type move, although he couldn't tell which one.]

...I lost, huh?

I guess that's why you're the legendary. [It was hard for him to smile through his shame, but he was able to find just enough humor in the previous battle to do so.]

... [Mx. Suicune dropped Guy's arm, and they reached into their satchel. After what felt like full minutes of searching, they pulled out their notepad.

They slid it Guy's way, gesturing for him to read* through it.]

"Despite what you want to say about yourself, you have performed more than well enough in that sparring battle. The only remark I feel safe making is that you hadn't attempted to draw out that dark power you have issues with.

I was honestly taken off guard when you used that attack. I suppose you could say I got fired up--

"And you have displayed that you're worthy of me using more of my strength than I've been adjusted to displaying. Your raw strength is something to truly be marveled, and you have very vividly shown a strong sense of determination thus far.

And through all of that, you still show immense kindness. I was able to tell that you were holding back. As though you were scared of seriously harming me.

I can only imagine that you would give even the Pokemon of legends, such as myself, a run for our money, if you manage to master your abilities and remain consistent in your training.

[Guy was brought to tears after reading their message. The idea that what he had done was enough to make a legendary Pokemon to exert as much effort as they did sounded nearly impossible. But, for Mx. Suicune, someone that admittedly barely knows him, to say that...]

[Guy nuzzled against Suicune's literally cold shoulder, taking them by surprise.]

...Thanks. I'll do whatever I have to in order to live up to what you say.

[marylandlifecoaching]

Menu Removal

I've written about it before. About how many couples seem to have a drop off in intimacy, the longer that they are together. As if once we know we got you, we don't have to try so hard anymore. I have worked with countless couples over the past 4 decades on this very matter. I have always referred to it as the menu. 

When we first start dating, just about everything is on the menu. We dress nice, send texts, open car doors, do what the other wants to do and so on. But after some time, we seem to settle in. Those texts become less frequent. We stop talking to each other and talk at each other. In short, we stop showing up for each other. When was the last time you kissed you partner like it was the first time?

I've been with the same woman for 20 years. And because we put in the work, it remains fresh. But the truth is, it is not work. I married a woman that not only caught my eye, but who truly inspired me. Because our friendship was so playful and adventurous, we never got tired of the initial "dating phase". 20 years deep, we still are going on dates several times a week. We truly do enjoy each others company.

Most hard conversations don't have to happen, if we stay connected. But many stop talking or checking in with each other. And when something pops up, we don't feel connected. Thus, hard conversations must be had. Its as if communication was taken off the menu. Communication? Literally the main course. We may think that sex, money and intimacy are the main course, but they're not. Everything in your relationship will have to be communicated. Time for many, causes them to check out, when they should be checking in. 

Things do change the longer we are in a relationship. But with communication, they can not only change for the better, but they can keep the door open to connectedness. That feeling of safe keeps the menu intact. And with a full menu, you are never craving something different. You never go hungry. Because so much is available, you don't feel as though you are missing out. 

Is your relationship menu a little lite? The good news is you can return to the original menu. We don't have to grow old and go without. We can grow old and go within. Let each other in and create an entirely new menu. One that pleases the palate for both of you. You did it in the beginning of the relationship. Do it again. 

Because more relationships are ruined by run down partial menus. Sure, they'll feed. But it's not what you would recommend. 2 out of 4 stars does not make for a pleasant long term relationship. Talk to each other. Serve each other. Watch your menu grow. Because when the menu shrinks, the relationship sinks.

With some personal growth and by taking some risk, you will have before you a menu that keeps you intrigued. It may take a little work. Buy don't we always pay more for fine dining any ways? And why do we pay more? Because it is worth it.