#i probably talked for way too long but it's whatevs
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remxedmoon · 2 days ago
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so all you need to do right now is disappear.
HHHHAPPY ISATVERSARY EVERYONE. here’s redraws for every single battle cg in the game. 36 drawings this time around, with 11 of those being custom (though admittedly a good portion of those are edits). combined with the portrait redraws i made back in september, i’ve made 114 redraws for this project! jesus christ! just like those redraws, these are completely free to use!! as long as i’m credited and it’s not for commercial purposes, go wild!! do whatever you want!!!
no i didn’t make these for isat’s 1 year anniversary this is just wildly good timing.
i genuinely can’t fit all of these cgs in one post even with the 30 image limit on browser, but i’ll still try to fit Most of them below the cut (without making this post horrifically long), along with some notes that might be important 👍
okay! once again, i labeled all of the custom art as such in the drive, but if you want a full list, the customs are hatless siffrin jackpot, bonnie jackpot, bonnie special attack, bigfrin attack, and a bunch of alts which are definitely not related to any projects i’ve been thinking about don’t worry about it. and out of those customs, only like. 3 of them are actually completely from scratch.
while i did my absolute best to keep the aspect ratios completely the same as the originals, there’s 3 exceptions that i just couldn’t get to work.
isabeau’s hair in his special attack cg wouldn’t fit in frame if i kept things completely accurate to the og, so i moved his cg down a bit. it shouldn’t cause any issues with modding or anything, it’ll just appear slightly lower than it does in game. alas…
isabeau’s sleeve and mirabelle’s hair made their jackpot sprites a little larger than the originals? i’m hoping this doesn’t have too much of an effect (since the jackpot sprites have inconsistent sizes) but i can’t test this myself unfortunately. aaa feel free to let me know on discord if any problems arise!!
i managed to fix these, so they aren’t going to cause problems now, but my original drawings for mirabelle and siffrin in the final attack scene were a pain in the ass to fix. mirabelle’s sprite was slightly too talk to fit in frame and siffrin’s hat whacked bonnie in the face while i was editing everyone together. i’m only mentioning this because it took like an hour and a half to fix them and finish the scene.
all that aside, these were a fucking BLAST to work on. apparently this ended up taking 57 hours over exactly 10 days. which is a little worrying if you do the math on that but somehow i have not burnt myself out. i will be doing enemies at some point!!! but probably not for a little bit. i think my friends will actually kill me if i don’t take a break.
once again, happy birthday isat. you’ve ruined my life and i wouldn’t have it any other way (silly).
also, on an actual serious note, this little timeloop game has genuinely changed my life for the better? you guys are probably sick of hearing it at this point (or maybe not, i don’t talk about myself That Much. i hope), but i was practically a ghost for about 2 years before joining this fandom. it’s a little surreal to suddenly have friends (plural!!!) and people who Care about me, or even know i exist, honestly. it’s weird!! in a good way!!!
i don’t think i would’ve ever come back to social media if this community wasn’t so welcoming. i’ve met a lot of really great people through this game!!! so, uh, thank you isat, i guess. here’s to another year.
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spidori · 2 days ago
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I'm hoping it's ok for me to toss my two cents into the ring, because this is the Tumblr Phandom and all, and this kinda gave me a vision vis-a-vis Danny (not) finding out he's the new Ghost King for the first time.
Imagine, if you will, some new rogue shows up specifically to fight Danny. We're talking after Reign Storm and The Ultimate Enemy, but well before the rest of the Phamily has come into their own and started helping the Justice League.
During the brawl the new Rogue makes some comment about how they'll defeat Danny and then claim their place as rightful king of the Realms. Danny probably doesn't think much of it during the fight- too focussed on being concussed and finding a way to beat this annoyingly powerful new enemy- but he remembers the comment later and something clicks about right of conquest and him having defeated the previous king and etc.
Cue Danny screaming off to Clockwork (in regards to how fast he's flying, you can't prove the ghost who flew by at nearly the speed of sound yelling for Clockwork was him! Totally a coincidence!) in his Tower.
Clockwork, the gremlin he is, reassures Danny that claiming the throne of The Ghost King of The Infinite Realms is not so simple as who can punch hardest. The people of the Realms themselves select their rulers, through their own sets of trials and laws yes, but also subconsciously because of how Ectoplasm responds to feelings. Extending from that- and even more important really- the saturation of the Infinite Realms with Ectoplasm actually provides the substrate for a group subconscious arising from all the partially shared emotional resonances bouncing around amongst and between all Ectoplasmic Entities. In other words, The Realms itself is actually conscious and sentient on a scale only perceptible to some of the very strongest and longest-extant Ancients, and that consciousness is what really conveys the Title of King of The Infinite Realms to the one it deems most worthy.
And Clockwork reassures Danny that he needn't worry, Pariah actually lost the Realms' approval long before Danny was even born (true) and a new king was selected by it as well (also true) and Danny didn't receive the title upon decking Dark in his not-so-kingly nose (also also technically true...) and the new King even has Clockworks full approval for the reign of peace and prosperity he will bring with his just, fair, and above all caring rulings.
What he's leaving out is that there was an extended period where no one was deemed worthy to rule by The Realms, a period which ended when Danny showed he was worthy, not by fighting Pariah, or even by showing the strength and humility to overcome his own worst self, but by the way he handled and immediately relinquished the absolute power of the Reality Gauntlet with zero hesitation.
So Danny leaves the Tower reassured that The Realms have tagged some ghost wise and powerful enough to be the actual new Ghost King, completely unaware that he's it.
Clockwork waits until he's back through the portal to laugh his non-existent ass off.
And Danny's an even better mediator for not knowing his position. The way I see it, the most important parts of any successful mediation are the parties feeling like their concerns were actually Heard and taken into account, and there being some means of enforcing the parts of the ruling that one or more parties don't want to cooperate with. Danny has the title and the power to enforce whatever he wants, but since he sees himself as just some guy he approaches every argument with a level of humility and openness that means everyone actually gets their full say. And he's actually trying to help while not thinking he has any skin in the game since he doesn't even know they're technically his subjects, which only helps to make his rulings all the more fair to all parties.
Clockwork probably slowly but surely brought others in on his little prank. I bet Dan was actually first, what with his apprenticeship and all, and that it was the first step to him actually starting to like the old coot. At this point, Danny's just about the only being- living, dead, or otherwise- who is both regularly involved with his existence and doesn't know he's King. It's not like anyone would tell him; they're either way too scared of angering Clockwork, think the joke is far too funny (and getting funnier the longer it goes), or want Danny to be able to half-live his half-life without the stress of knowingly carrying what is quite possibly the single heaviest crown in existence.
Then there's Clockwork, who has one other reason he's hiding this from Danny beyond the latter two of the above. Clockwork can see how this is the perfect training for Danny. I mean, thunk about it, Danny doesn't think his words actually carry any weight, which means he's getting the perfect chance to practice the hardest part of the job (making decisions which will impact his subjects in all kinds of ways unforeseeable to anyone but Clockwork) without any of the stress which would make him second guess himself. By the time he learns the truth there will be an extensive record of his fantastic judgement and conflict resolution skills to drop in front of anyone who would question Danny's capability as Ghost King, including (especially) Danny himself.
Everything is exactly as it should be, indeed!
I've seen a lot of people writing Danny as a space ancient and Dan and Dani as ghosts with moon and sun cores, being sort of parts, versions of Danny and therefore weaker. Now, consider: Dan and Dani are both powerful ghosts with really cool cores and stuff but Danny is just some guy™
Dan, who came from an alternate timeline and is kind of from the future but also not, is Clockwork's apprentice and will eventually become an ancient of time. He probably only agreed to have some lessons with Clockwork to understand better what happened to him, but he enjoys his apprenticeship now.
Dani, with her love of travelling, loves seeing all the different places the world offers to her, and that includes space and different planets and maybe even parallel universes, and she accidentally ends up being an apprentice of the space ancient. For now she's probably a baby ancient of freedom or something like that, but she might become an ancient of space in the future.
We can also have something like Dan having a core of destruction or Dani being the Speed Force if you want it to be dcxdp, or any headcanon of yours about their cool powers.
And then there's Danny. And yeah, everyone knows that he's super powerful, but also he's just some guy.
It can go different routes. Does everyone know that Danny is just Danny? Or do they think that with siblings (well, technically a clone and an alternate version, but whatever) so powerful, he must be even stronger? Is Danny actually something terrifyingly eldritch and ancient and strong, almost a god, but he just doesn't know himself? Or is he just really some guy?
Now, because it's obvious that I have a dcxdp brainrot, have a regular "JL summons/meets a powerful ghost" but its Dan and Dani, and they keep mentioning their original/brother who won a fight against them at some point. The JL is very concerned about Dan and Dani's godlike powers, and they can't imagine what Danny is like. And then they meet him (in his human form), and it's just a young adult in casual clothes, very friendly and helpful, with no evident powers. Imagine the confusion. Imagine Dan and Dani, radiating power, in their eldritch ghost forms, admitting that fighting Danny for real is the dumbest thing to do and not even they would succeed... And then there's Danny is jeans and silly t-shirt, waving shyly.
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AkrhamKnight! Jason Todd
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Sensitive Topics: descriptions of a toxic relationship and mentions of physical abuse (none actually written)
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AK! Jason Todd who you're not even sure what you have with. Every time you try to refer to him as your boyfriend or yourselves as together like you did before his death, he pulls away and gets defensive.
"There isn't an 'us,' sweetheart. I ain't letting shit from before that fucking clown got to me matter now."
But if you try to walk away from the situation or start talking to somebody else, he gets so incredibly jealous.
"Oh so you really need two guys' attention now? What a fucking whore..."
AK! Jason Todd who, if you couldn't tell by now, is so incredibly toxic in whatever situation you have. He cant stand to see you walk away but it kills you inside every time you come back to him and his baggage.
"Come one, sweetheart... It was just a mistake. We all make 'em, right? Don't you go leaving me over some petty shit like that."
AK! Jason Todd who absolutely loathes you going out at night. Even when he's there with you, it still puts him on edge to see you walking the cold, dark Gotham sidewalks when you could be safe in his apartment or the base instead.
AK! Jason Todd who just gets so mean with you for no reason. Well, not for little things like forgetting to pick up plastic wrap at the store or something. More like walking alone in Gotham without him knowing you were even gone. He hates the thought of something happening to his precious little thing.
AK! Jason Todd who would never physically harm you. Are insults thrown around like confetti? Absolutely! Is there a scream fight almost every week? You bet! But has he ever raised a finger against you? No. And he would never even think of it.
AK! Jason Todd who's absolutely pissed whenever somebody even looks at you for too long, nevermind making comments. You'd be surprised just how many of his soldiers he's gotten rid of just for telling him to "put his bitch in her place," or for telling you to "cover up, slut."
AK! Jason Todd who can't open up. He knows what he's doing is horrible. He knows that everything he does affects you in one way or another. But what about the horrible things other people have done? What about what the Joker did to him? What about Bruce letting the Joker roam free afterwards and replacing him with another goody two shoes? Jason wants to talk to you, he really does. But he just doesn't see how you or anybody, for that matter, coyld ever understand him or what he's been through.
AK! Jason Todd who found himself crying in the dark shadows of your shared apartment when Bruce first came along to stop his ridiculous plan to take over Gotham with Scarecrow's fear toxin. Jason loved Bruce. Bruce was his only family. But family means that nobody gets left behind and Bruce sure as hell broke that rule.
(This is actually kinda cannon: in Akrham Knight, one of the conversations you can overhear between a few of the gaurds mentions Jason crying after encountering Bruce for one of the first times)
AK! Jason Todd who truly does love you, in some way. He doesn't think he can be in love with you, but that doesnt makw him care about you any less. You're his person, and you've been there for him whether he likes it or not.
AK! Jason Todd who would absolutely lose it if anything were to ever happen to you. He never wants to see even a hair on your damn head hurt if he can help it. If one of his guards were to be responsible for an injury you sustained, they'd be out the door and probably six feet under in a heartbeat.
AK! Jason Todd who, no matter what your situation or relationship is like, refuses to let you see his chest. Yeah, his entire body is covered in scars, both from the Joker and other things he's experienced. But the 'Y' shaped scar on his chest is strictly off limits. If you were to ever accidentally brush your hand across it while laying with him or something, he wouldn't lash out, but he'd certainly guide your hand away by gently grasping your wrist.
AK! Jason Todd who never wants to see you involved with anything he does or his plans. He thinks that his activities are far too dangerous for you, even if you do happen to be somebody who's capeable of holding your own in combat or other high-stress situations.
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Masterlist
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ghostgirl-22 · 23 hours ago
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artrick phone sex
I gotchu, my love <3
CW: 18+ !NSFW! First time dynamics, angst, Art has avoidance issues like me.
Apologies this may be too long and full of my own personal angst I fear.
—-
“Art?” It’s Patrick.
Art feels his stomach sinking and now he wishes he’d avoided his call, again. He rolls over on his bed and looks at the sparsely decorated wall of his dorm room. It’s his first time talking to Patrick since… since…
He shivers and tries to put it out of his mind.
“Hey,” Art says and clears his throat. “What’s up?”
Patrick chuckles.
Art shivers again. Did his voice always sound that way? Or is Art just crazy still? He’s been really crazy lately. It’s been two weeks and he’s still…
“Really? What’s up?” Patrick mimics. “That’s all you have to say?”
Art shrugs for the benefit of no one but himself. “What—um— what’s wrong with that?”
“Oh I don’t know…” Patrick hums and then he sighs. “Okay fuck it. I’ll go with it. Are you okay?”
Art is still anxious, his stomach still uneasy. It’s just Patrick. His oldest and closest and best friend and yet he can’t relax. He can’t settle down and they're just talking on the phone. He can’t imagine seeing him in person when he inevitably shows up to Stanford again to watch Tashi play. Everything is different now.
“I’m fine, Patrick.” He lies.
“But you don’t want to talk to me?” Patrick sounds weird. Worried? A little. Disappointed? Probably. Sad? Definitely.
Art sighs, he doesn’t want Patrick to be sad. “No I— I’ve just been busy. We had finals last week. And um…. practice has been crazy. I’m um… I started seeing this girl and—” he hears Patrick huff a laugh but barrels through, ignoring it. “Sorry I missed your calls.”
“And texts,” Patrick adds.
“I’m sorry,” Art says again.
They’re quiet for a while. Art turns back to look at the tv. He was watching Sports Center, they were talking about gymnastics. Apparently there had just been some kind of qualifier competition.
“Who’s this new girl your seeing?” Patrick asks. This time Art can’t tell what his tone is.
“Uh well she’s nice, pretty. She’s actually not on the team. She’s an English major.”
“Sounds hot,” Patrick says, flatly.
“Yeah, she’s um— she’s nice,” Art says. “Are you—are you high?”
“A little. I won’t lie. Me and the buddy I was telling you about we smoked a couple and then went and got tacos and Margaritas. So fucking good. Who knew Dallas was a food town?”
Art laughs. He begins to relax, this feels more like best friend stuff. Maybe he was overreacting. Avoiding him for two weeks. But of course that wasn’t the only reason Art was avoiding him. “What happened to your match?”
“Uh well— I lost again. This shit is so fucking rigged.” Patrick complains.
“Dude that fucking sucks,” Art says. He sits up on his bed and looks around for his own weed stash.
“Yeah, it’s fine though. I’m going against this guy tomorrow, stats are all over the place but I think I can take him.”
“Whats his name?”
“Moussa or Mousso… I can’t remember but he’s French. Kinda hot, actually.”
Art feels his stomach flip flop again. “Uh… so what about Tashi?”
“She’s good, she actually answers my calls. I mean not tonight but she told me her cousin would be in town so…”
”Do you want me to beg for forgiveness or something?” Art says, smirking.
Patrick takes a breath and doesn’t say anything while Art is rummaging through the bottom drawer of his night stand. He finds the baggy he was looking for and sits up on the bed, legs crossed as he opens it.
“I’m sorry but I was honestly busy.” Art adds when Patrick still hasn’t said anything.
“Are we ever gonna talk about it?” Patrick asks.
Art stops moving. His stomach begins doing all kinds of things again.
“Look I don’t want to… I don’t want it to be weird,” Patrick continues. “I can do whatever you need. If you want me to pretend I didn’t fuck you… okay fine. But you have to talk to me because I’m going fucking crazy.”
Art stares at the television but he’s not seeing anything. He gives up on the weed and tosses it on the nightstand. “Yeah um… okay.”
“What does that mean?”
“Nothing,” Art mutters. “I’m— we can talk.”
“Are you mad at me?”
“No,” Art says. “I—“ he lays back down on his side and looks at the wall, pulling his knees up. He wishes with everything in him that they hadn’t done it in here. In his fucking bed.
He’s got it on a loop playing in his head all the time. Patrick crawling between his legs. The way he looked, hair still damp from the shower, freckles all over, pupils too big, blue eyes all sparkly. How he smelled, like vanilla soap and cigarettes. What he sounded like, voice so much deeper and softer than normal, saying stupid things like “You’re so fucking pretty”, “Gonna make you scream my name,” and then moaning when he got it in.
And how it felt.
God.
How it felt.
That’s the part that stays with him. How much it hurt. And then how much it didn’t hurt at all. By the end Patrick was touching something inside him and he was seeing stars. In between consciousness and some other plane of existence is how good it felt. That was the silly part. Feeling like he wanted it again and again and again.
He let Patrick do it again in the morning. Patrick’s arms wrapped around his waist fucking him on his side while he stared at this wall his whole body blooming with pleasure. And then just sitting with it for the rest of the day. The ache. The stretch. The feeling like everyone could tell. Patrick left that afternoon for the airport, sent Art a text. Well that was fun. Which he ignored. Called him that evening. Also ignored.
Art had been trying to avoid thinking about it ever since (it was impossible). He’s thrown himself into school, tennis, he’s even tried to talk to a new girl. It didn’t go anywhere. In his worst moments he’s even tried to flirt with Tashi. But then he remembers she’s fucking Patrick and his mind swings right back around to the way Patrick fucked him. And that makes him more crazy because now he doesn’t know what the fuck he actually wants.
And every fucking night, late at night he’s lying in bed staring at the wall touching himself over and over… thinking about it.
He doesn’t know how to say any of this to Patrick.
“Did you die?” Patrick asks, dryly. Even now since they’ve been on the phone, just hearing Patricks stupid voice is making Art’s stomach hurt, and his cock fill up.
“No… I’m just confused okay,” Art says.
“About what?”
“I don’t know.”
”Did you hate it?” Patrick asks.
“Not really,” Art murmurs.
“You’re so fucking full of shit,” Patrick groans.
Art sighs and realizes he just mindlessly put his palm on his cock because of how gravelly Patrick’s voice sounds. And fine. Patrick can make him crazy all the way in whatever fucking city hes in however many fucking miles he is away from Palo Alto.
“I’m sorry if I don’t know how to feel. I’ve never… I’d never done any of that before.” Art says quietly.
“And yet you practically begged for it in the morning.” Patrick says softly.
Art swallows thickly.
“I can’t get it out of my head.” Patrick continues. “The way you were rubbing against my dick before you even woke up properly. Fuck. I can’t get you out of my head.”
Art’s rubbing himself now. “I can’t either,” he sighs, he’s starting to lose it again. He feels silly. Too silly to care if Patrick can tell.
“Yeah?” Patrick sounds eager, breathy.
“It was… I still… I still feel it. Is that crazy?” Art says quietly.
Patrick takes a deep breath. “Fuck. You drive me so fucking insane. Are you fucking touching yourself?”
“’m sorry. I just…” Art says, closing his eyes. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Art knows he’s never gonna recover from this but right now it doesn’t matter. He would stop if he could but he can’t.
”You still feel me?”
“Mmhm.”
“Feel me stretching you? you’re so fucking tight I don’t even know if it’s all gonna fit,” Patrick says, his voice sounds like it did. When Arts eyes are closed it’s almost like he can feel Patrick’s breath on his skin.
“Ah—“ Art gasps, grabbing himself properly. “I like the stretch.”
“You love it.” Patrick says. “You don’t even want to wait. Don’t want me to take my time, you’re just so eager you’re pushing that pretty ass back on me.”
“Yeah,” Art gasps, he rolls onto his back and puts the phone on speaker, letting one leg fall open as he jerks himself. “It feels so good—when you fuck me. Its too much. Im too full please… please I don’t think I can take anymore.”
“Oh you fucking liar,” Patrick moans. “You can take it baby. I know you can. You’re a little cock slut already and its only your first time. Fuck. You’re so tight.”
”So tight,” Art says mindlessly as he tries to ease two fingers along his ass, the way Patrick had done before he entered. “I wanna… I want you to… I—I miss you.”
”I miss you too,” Patrick says. “If I was there I’d have you on all fours taking my dick all night.”
“Ah—mmh— Patrick I’m gonna— you’re gonna make me—“ Art cries. The fingers are enough… even dry.
“Come on, yeah… fucking come on my big fat dick sweetheart… come on.. nngh…” Patrick moans.
It’s enough. Hot strings of pearly white are suddenly spurting out of him and spilling everywhere, on his fingers and clothes. On the bedspread. He’s breathless, as his whole body goes lax.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck… I need to be in you again, gahhh..” Art can hear Patrick’s bed squeaking wherever he is and then he’s groaning loudly, and gasping through his own orgasm. “Oh god, oh shit… that was…”
“Yeah,” Art says breathlessly, looking up at the ceiling.
”Mm don’t fucking ignore me again,” Patrick says.
As relaxed as Art feels right now. Distantly, the pit in his stomach is returning. “Patrick… are we… I mean… are we still gonna be… friends?”
“Yeah of course,” Patrick says, easy. He yawns. “Always.”
Art feels tied up in knots but he can tell Patrick’s relaxed, sated, relieved even. If anything he’s going to be asleep in five minutes. No point getting any deeper now.
“You wanna fall asleep on the phone or—?” Patrick asks, yawning again.
“No it’s… it’s fine.” Art says. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”
“Mmkay. Sweet dreams.”
Art bites his tongue to keep himself from saying something fucking stupid that he can’t take back. The line goes dead. Art stares at the ceiling for a minute, the three words he can’t say platonically to his best friend who he’s now fucking, are flitting about in his head. And Patrick wonders why he’s confused. He grabs his second pillow and pulls it over his face. He’s so fucked.
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soupandsorcery · 1 day ago
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A letter, written in a de Riva cipher and sealed after the fall of Weisshaupt, delivered to The Cantori Diamond one week after the disappearance of Nicolo de Riva into the Fade
Viago:
I've got a joke for you. Two Crows and a Warden walk into Weisshaupt and almost don't make it back out again. There's not really a punchline, actually. Just an Archdemon and a giant fucking face in the clouds. Weisshaupt was probably the scariest thing that's ever happened to me, and there were a lot of times when I thought I wasn't going to make it out of there. That made me start thinking about my life and things I wished I'd done and said. Which made me start thinking about you.
I know we don't do emotions or talking about feelings or whatever it is normal families do, but I'm just going to say this. If you end up reading it, then I'm probably dead anyway, so you can't scowl at me.
Thank you. I could go down the whole list of the whys, but let's just say I owe a lot to House de Riva—and to you. I wouldn't have made it this far without your help and your weird way of showing your faith in me. I figured out a while ago that you're hard on me because you want me to live up to my potential or whatever. And I tried, Viago. I really did. I saw this contract through as well as I could for as long as I could, and I tried to be a credit to my training. To you. Ask Lucanis if you don't believe me. It kept me going when I didn't think I could, imagining the look on your face if I gave up. So thanks for being a bossy nag too. I guess most good older brothers are, and I know there aren't that many good older brothers in our line of work.
Take care of Teia. Tell her I love her and she's always been the best of the Talons. Let her take care of you sometimes too. You deserve it.
Love you, Viago. Sorry I never said it to your face.
—Nico
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doing the same as prev bc. I eat rocks or whatever idk
also hey guys we’re back
also also answering in plaintext even tho not shock bc lazy
I’m this really fucked up mix of traumatic and lonelygenic. Like imagine being traumatized and then being left alone for so long that you split like 150 personalities (and probably more fragments) could never be us. Oh wait
a lot
System used to be all introjects except like one guy (who was the “original” lol) now theres like 4 non-introjects
Shock can do what he wants with the place and nobody else can do jack shit
two of em. The first is like 5 versions of Evbo and one other guy and the second is. Have you ever played slay the princess
yea, all of them are dormant tho so it’s hard to remember how many
Me and a whole bunch of other people discovered at around the same time bc Maryland informed us it’s actually not normal to hear voices
I think roles are handy. We would use them if any of us actually fit into specific roles
imma be real I’ve only ever used the shittier wiki on fandom so idk
Simplyplural. Bad abt keeping track tho
kind of. We’re fairly certain that shock kinda fell apart at some point and then formed back together slightly different, but he’s always been the host.
Mechanical Marionette System. (You never would’ve guessed lol) not saying why we picked it tho cause it kinda sucks to talk about
Robots, cats, monsters, all sorts of guys. And even most of the humanoid ones aren’t fully human, I think
Shock says there’s a cat or two who hang out around his personal part of headspace, but I haven’t been there yet, so I can’t confirm or deny the truth of that
Hhh. I don’t actually know shit abt myself yet (I formed two days ago shut your fuck up) but shock, who is in co-con, marches instead of walking normally for some fucking reason (it’s because of mcr brainrot) (what the fuck is mcr)
No.
Well yk how shock used to run like 8 million gimmick blogs? He thought Yahooo and Evil Yahoo Mail were headmates for a while (they were, in fact, not. Shock just gets way too into roleplaying.)
I mean I wouldn’t say we have like. Any talents that not everyone can do at least a little, but we do all have slightly different handwriting (shock writes in cursive cause he’s working on his cursive so he has much fancier writing than everyone else rn)
idk, not anything specific
see the above
I mean I don’t really know I formed like 2 days ago and I know a total of like 5 people
I don’t think so (I also don’t know)
this is actually killing me dude I don’t know these yet I formed 2 day ago
Not really. Shock says he’s been happy with the way we are, and probably will continue to be unless something crazy irrevocably changes things
funny thing- we all participate in each other’s fandoms, but few of us participate in our own.
i mean. I’m pretty sure all of us are atheist except for like. Shock, Tommy, and maybe Q. (And that other guy who’s like halfway between being a fragment and fully formed rn) we just kinda cope ig cause shock got the body to be an essential part of the local faith community and we can’t really leave without fucking a few people over now
I’m guessing we’ll let shock handle those things. Or maybe hold a vote if there’s any real discourse over it
not really. I mean I think shock wants to decorate headspace for Christmas but the system only formed like a year and a half ago, so we really just haven’t had time to start any
no (body’s dad took Spotify off our phone like 2 days before I formed ): )
not any that’s good enough to share. YET
i mean. Most of us get along well or just don’t talk, but on the rare occasions that real fights happen, Shock uses his superior command of headspace to break it up.
not really, other than the fact that I’m a lot more mentally distinct than some of the others. I mean some other guys have things like that tho (shock marches and writes in cursive a lot, Tommy and the long quiet subsystem are British)
we don’t, but if we did I don’t think they would use it if for no other reason then that it’s a bit difficult to read.
cat (: also wrote the first half of this post
a mix of both. Nobody has a unique interest, but not everyone has all the interests, I guess?
Slay the princess, if the subsystem counts each member separately, or undertale /deltarune if not
caitie
no
Bonezz. Xe was the first non-introject (other than shock)
well kinda
aroace
idk, probably one of the masc-aligning ones
aroace. All of us
simplyplural
yeah, to a degree
depends on circumstance
we experience a shotload of non-system-related amnesia but no system-related amnesia. Which is funny cause it’s the opposite for most people, I think
idk shock does all sorts of batshit crazy things all the time
hbbh. Vanilla probably
shock is dead scared of bugs, even the harmless ones
hmmmmm… orange (“but petey!” You might say. “Orange isn’t an aesthetic-“ fuck you, it is now)
not that we can tell
nope
we don’t have any syskids, but if we did I’m guessing we would all share that responsibility.
nah
i mean. We really don’t tend to switch when we’re in the middle of something, not sure why (although we’ve switched like 8 times while filling this out but shut up) so I don’t really know.
yeah, usually. Especially without amnesia barriers, it’s kind of hard to tell when we’ve switched.
often. It usually just means there’s like a million people co-fronting for us, though, so we just. Idk deal with it
no. Well. Not really
don’t have rn, may add later
Long system ask game!
Because it's been ages since we made one and we felt like it.
What type of system are you?
How many people are there in your system?
Do you have more introjects or non-introjects?
How much control do you have over your headspace (if you have one)?
Do you have any subsystems?
Do you have any in-system couples?
How did you discover your systemhood? Or did you become one on purpose?
How do you feel about system roles, and do you use them?
What are your thoughts on Pluralpedia?
Do you use anything to keep track of switching?
Have you ever had a change in hosts?
Do you have a system name? How did you pick it?
Do you have any nonhuman members? Feel free to list their species!
Do you have any headspace pets?
Current fronter/fronters, share some random info about you!
Do you have a partner system? How did you meet?
Have you ever mistaken a character of yours for a headmate? What about the other way around?
Does anyone have any skills that the others don't?
What's something y'all tend to agree on?
What about something you tend to disagree on?
Do symptoms of neurodivergencies/mental illness tend to manifest the same way or differently among headmates?
Do you have any syskids?
Share an in-system joke!
Has how you view your plurality changed?
If you have fictives, do they participate in their source fandom? If yes, are they open about who they are in fandom spaces?
How do you handle headmates having different spiritual beliefs?
How do you decide on major life decisions (where to live, what to study, what work to have, etc)?
Do you have any system traditons?
Current fronter, do you have your own playlist? Feel free to share it!
Do you have any art of anyone in the system? Feel free to show it off!
How do you handle it when people in the system don't get along?
Current fronter, is there anything that makes it obvious you're the one fronting? (Voice, accent, body language, typing style, etc)
If you have syskids, how do they feel about stereotypical "babby tawk"?
Share something about your newest member!
Do you tend to have collective or separate interests and hobbies?
If you have introjects, what source do you have the most from?
Are you out as plural to anyone irl?
Do you know any systems irl?
Which headmate was the biggest surprise?
Do you have a singletsona?
Do you have any collective labels?
What's the most common gender in your system?
What's the most common sexuality in your system?
What's your favorite app/website/etc for plural stuff?
Do you tend to have the same taste in food or not?
Is it hard or easy for you to switch?
Do you experience system-related amnesia?
Share something weird a headmate has done!
Current fronter, what's your favorite ice cream flavor?
Share a silly fear someone in the system has!
Current fronter, describe your aesthetic!
If you have outworld pets, do they tend to act differently around different headmates?
Has anyone ever figured out you were a system without you telling them?
When it comes to syskids, is there anyone in particular that takes care of them?
Does anyone in the system identify as otherkin, therian, or fictionkin?
Have you ever switched in an awkward moment? What happened?
Do you ever switch without realizing it?
Are you ever blurry? How do you handle it?
Has anyone ever treated an introject badly because of who their source is?
Current fronter, share a pic of your "face claim!"
270 notes · View notes
whentherewerebicycles · 2 days ago
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my baby is six months old today!!! he’s been alive for half a year!!!!! it somehow feels both like he's been in my life forever and like i just gave birth days ago. I love him so much it makes me feel a little frantic sometimes. he is down for his first nap now and I can hear him in his crib grumbling to himself about the terrible indignities they subject sweet little babies to these days (chief among them being wrapped in blankets in a soft little sleeping bag in a cozy warm room for a nice restorative nap).
I think I want to journal a bit today—six things about the baby + six thoughts about my experience of parenting thus far. baby first!
well i mean. he is just perfect. he is just the best little guy ever. all babies are the best little guy ever but he is MY best little guy you know? i love him so much. what is his personality like? i would say he has definitely retained something of the watchfulness and slight reserve he had as a newborn. he has these huge dark eyes and he studies things very intently and in general likes to Observe the Situation before wading in. but he is, so far, not especially shy? the stranger danger phase has not set in yet so he enjoys being held by a wide range of people and will warm up to new faces after a bit, especially if they make silly expressions at him or sing to him. he also definitely has His People, who he is not reserved with at all. the second my sister walks in he starts kicking his legs furiously and babbling to her to get her to come over and talk to him. he looooves my mom and is way snugglier with her than anyone else. he adores his primary babysitters (his nanny + liz's husband A) and is sooo chatty with them. he was slow to smile (liz's baby was beaming at everybody from like five weeks on but i don't think O was smiling regularly until about 12 weeks) and he is still pretty selective with them (strangers do NOT get smiles unless they make a very silly surprising noise). but his general temperament is just like… he’s a calm, even-keeled, good-natured little guy who is down for pretty much whatever. this kid can hang.
he is REALLY good at independent play. if he's fed and changed he can pretty much entertain himself for 45-60 min at a time without any input from me. he just kicks around on his mat and plays with his toys. in the morning he wakes up around 6:30 but the family does not get up until 7:20 and he will just hang out in his crib making his hands dance in the air and chattering happily to himself. i think this is probably like 80% inborn temperament... my mom says i was the exact same way as a baby, just like totally content to chill and think and talk to myself. but i think maybe 20% of it is also things i consciously did to encourage this from about four weeks on and i am proud of that! i think one of the qualities i like best in myself is that i have a high tolerance for boredom because i can just get lost in my thoughts/imagination. as long as i have something to think about or some imaginary situation to play out in my head i am content. i really want that for him too! idk more thoughts about this when i journal about parenting lol. but i appreciate that he doesn't have to be entertained 24/7 (at least at this age). he is content to just be on his own or just be in the room watching people do other stuff.
obviously i adored him from the start lol but i would say that four months marked a big turning point in terms of how much fun he was to hang out with. he just started seeming so much more alert and engaged around then. and then this last five to six months span of time has just been SO fun. he's fully a little person. he has preferences and opinions and favorite toys and favorite people and favorite animals (ruthie). he is learning ALL the time. you can see him puzzling things out and beginning to develop a rudimentary understanding of cause and effect. right now, like in the past week or so, he is extremely into TEXTURES. he must scritch-scratch absolutely everything with his little baby nails. he is obsessed with his "baby paper" (crinkly paper) and he is much more open to tummy time now mainly because it allows him to scritch-scratch all the different quilts we use as playmats. he likes to scritch-scratch the glass when i take him to the window in the morning to show him his friends the trees, and if there is any kind of graphic on my t-shirts he MUST scratch the edges of it. and he does all of this with a look of total focus lol this kid is LOCKED IN on scritch-scratching.
he laughs so much these days. he also seems to have figured out that people react positively and often rush over to engage with him when he laughs, so sometimes if i'm on the other side of the room and he wants me to pay attention to him he will just do this "huh-huh-HAH-HA! HA!" belly laugh so i'll come over and make silly faces at him. i do pretty much nonstop funny accents and comedy bits for him and i'd say i get a laugh 50% of the time... the other 50% of the time he just gives me this wide-eyed look that clearly says "ok... this lady is nutso and i seem to be trapped in her care... i need to proceed carefully here..." which is also very funny.
he is really into being gently manhandled right now haha. i think it is probably related to developing proprioception? but he loves to be "flying baby" (where you lift him over your head and zoom him around like an airplane) and he loves being a pendulum in a giant clock (where you hold him under his arms and swing his body back and forth as you lift him up and down) and he REALLY loves it when you wrap him up in your arms and roll into a ball and roll over and over a bunch of times. also it delights him when you play-wrestle with him and tickle him even though he cannot yet really wrestle back lol. bonus points if you also growl at him and pretend you are going to eat him up... that's a big hit right now. when i was a kid my dad would wrestle with us all the time and pretend to be a bear chasing us around the house on all fours and let us ride on his back and stuff and it was so much fun. so far it is also pretty fun for the grownup lol i feel like it's a great way to get some silly energy out. but also i think i need to start lifting weights lol because this kid is already so heavy and i want to be able to keep tossing him around and wrestling with him when he's even bigger!!
on a related note: he is getting much stronger!! he is a big boy (as of today: 75th percentile for weight, 98th percentile for height, and wearing 12 month clothes). some of the physical milestones have been challenging for him because he weighs a lot and has a big ol noggin, so it's a lot of work to lift/maneuver his body. but he is rolling over pretty regularly and happily now, and in the last day or two he's started pushing up on his hands a little when he's on his tummy which was the big tummy time milestone he hadn't hit yet. he can also sit up with hip support and is starting to brace himself on his hands while sitting. the contrast with my nephew has been so funny to watch... my nephew is two and a half months older and is the tiniest, springiest little guy, so it's a lot easier for him to monkey around lol. but my nephew also just has this truly nonstop internal motor that seems to drive him to MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE at all times. my baby uhh does not have that motor lol. he finds my nephew's frenetic energy a little overwhelming and is like actually i would prefer to lounge around here on my mat scritch-scratching a quilt, thank you. truly my child lol. why "move around" when you could instead sit in one place daydreaming. it's funny to watch them together and just be like ohhh kids are SO different there's such a wide spectrum of normal.
ok there are six things!!! some other rapidfire facts just for my files: he is still quite gloriously bald but he's started getting hair! no eyebrows yet though lol and no sign that they are on the horizon. he loves taking baths with me except maybe "loves" is the wrong word... he takes bathtime deathly seriously because it is Water Kicking Time and he was put on this earth to Kick Water. so bathtimes are training sessions... he does not smile at ALL during baths he is too Locked In, but he screams and screams when you try to take him out because he was STILL TRAINING. his eyes still have a little bit of that newborn dark blue left but are mostly dark brown now with perhaps the barest hint of hazel. he is really into music and will go into a trance state when you sing to him or play instruments for him. he loves to chomp on his toys. he used to "kiss" your cheek but now just wants to nom nom nom on your face. his cheeks get so rosy when he's worked up or chilly or excited. he is transfixed by his own hands. he does this sharp startled little inhale when something surprises him. he can now take his pacifier out of his mouth and sometimes put it back in (i'd say we have a 20% success rate of getting the pacifier back in the right way). he is almost always a perfect sleeper although we had a little rough patch last night so i'm holding my breath hoping he's not about to have some kind of regression. he loves to kvetch and has mastered the fine art of lowgrade grumbling and complaining. he is teething and so there is a lot of drool everywhere all the time. he likes to hold his board books while i read to him i think it makes him feel important and involved lol. he is very soft and warm and smells good. he loves to snuggle in the big bed with mom. he is the best. he is just the best!!! i am the luckiest person in the world. i love him so much and i love being his mom. what a good baby!!!
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icarusredwings · 10 hours ago
Text
"I said
Silence.
I warned you, If you won't stop, I would do it myself."
Francis wasn't done with him. Not yet anyway. But he would make him obedient. Wordlessly taking orders like a machine. No more back talk. He would make him perfect. At least… that is....Until Logan shows up.
Chapter 3.
Brand New City
Cw: Dead Dove, Mentions of Rape, Kidnapping, Straight up torture, Various cruel and unusual punishments, Blood, Murder, Feral behavior, Descriptions of pain and wounds, Voices, Hallucinations, Extreme hurt/comfort, Angst, Loss of healing factor, loss of voice- Permanently(!), Character death.
You may experiance lots of crying.
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He would hum if he could. Hum along to the electricity he could hear from the light above him. Make a song out of it. Harmonize with the screams.
But he couldn't even do that.
Opening the door was none other then the man who prevented him from ever doing that again. His head lowers on instinct, trying to get a better look through the sweat running down his forehead. He would have loved to explain to the reader how this place stunk. It SHOULD have smelled like rotting flesh, agony, and B.o. But it smelled of nothing.
Nothing at all.
He couldn't even taste the blood in his mouth.
The man in front of him smirked, too smugly for his liking. Clapping his hands together he stood about 2 feet from his chair, rubbing them together as he smiled bigger than the Joker at his batman themed birthday party.
“So. How's your recovery coming? Hopefully the boys weren't too rough with you.” He states, looking down on him like Johnathan Groff as King George did on John Adams. “You know how they can be. You know the saying, Boys will be boys.”
The comment was direct. It hurt. It hurt because he knew that his goons were in fact too rough with him. He knew he wouldn't give a rat's ass if they didn't feed him, punched him, kicked him. He didn't care if they held him down, beat him until he couldn't move any longer, coughed blood in their face or if they had their way with him until they became bored.. and it hurt.
Oh, did it hurt...
Still did..
Look, Wade could take a lot, he was already mentally snapped. So for them to take away that last bit of sanity he held? It was simply cruel. Like hanging a bone to a starving dog JUST out of reach no matter how far it jumps and snaps, always failing, eventually giving up, laying down, and accepting its fate of permanent malnutrition to the point of death. Accepting that by fighting it was only moving up their appointment with her.
With Death.
Wade felt like dying after what they've done to him. He knew he thought about it a lot but… He's never wanted to see her more than now. She would kiss him better.. she would take away his pain.
He was sure that his brain was rotting in places it wasn't before, the flesh of his mind decomposing, hot with dehydration and.. what was he talking about? Oh my god was he STILL talking? For fuck sakes.
Glancing up, Francis was still going on about something. Probably something stupid. Why did mad scientists always gloat to their victims?
He wondered how long he was going to let him rot like this. His limbs were already so numb, so heavy and felt like gravity was close to ripping them off with no help at all. It hurt.
That's all he could keep thinking.
It hurts.
What exactly? Well… Everything. Mainly his throat. God did his throat hurt. It throbbed, was sticky, bloody, and raw. His spine hurt, his toes hurt, his jaw hurt, his fingers felt so numb that he wasn't even sure if they were still attached. The soreness alone was killing him. Whatever he did to him? Wade felt like he enhanced his pain receptors. Taking them from a 15 to a 150.
It hurt so badly to breathe, each breath making his chest shake, rise and fall, trembling. This only enhanced, the sharp pain running through his heavy cheek, flinching as he was slapped.
“What's my name?”
Glancing up at him, Wade was more then confused. His body was falling into pieces and THAT'S what he cared about!? What's worse is he knew that he couldn't answer him. He was physically incapable of it.
“I said ‘What's my name?!” He screams at him, leaning in close, staring as Wade glared daggers at him, his mind already thinking of millions of ways to kill him.
If only he had the strength to fight..
Leaning in, Francis smirked that sick bastard of a smile, putting his hand to his ear. “Sorry, What was that? I don't think I heard you correctly, could you repeat that?”
About 5 full seconds pass before his grin gets widder, breathing out as he stands again, sighing in relief.
“Finally… Silence. What did I tell you? I warned you that If you won't stop, I would have to do it myself.”
He flicks Wade in the nose almost playfully. Wade, who, if it wasn't for the tape wrapped around his head to the point breathing through his mouth wasn’t an option- would have bitten his finger clean off.
Francis punches him. Hard. He breathed heavily through his nose, heaving and trying to groan out but nothing came out. Nothing ever came out anymore..
He laughs, smiling. Wade could count all of his teeth if his eye wasn't starting to swell up. Grabbing his face, tears forced themselves out of his eyes and down his cheek. Pulling him close, Francis put their heads together. “Oh, Look at you. So pretty when you cry.. are those for me? Hm? Ooh yes, Show me those big scared eyes. You aren't so full of quips now, are you?”
His hand reaches down, cranking up the collar around his neck, watching Wade's body shake. Not from fear but because his body was physically struggling to stay upright. He would have already flopped over if his arms and legs weren't chained, making him only slouch instead of fall to the floor.
“Let's be honest, you look better with your mouth shut anyway.”
Looking at him, he was confused. So confused. What was wrong with this guy? What kind of game is this? If Wade's voices didn't agree with him he would have claimed that Francis lost it far more than he did.
He pulls away, trailing a finger from the collar, going up his throat and across his jaw. “So let's make you gorgeous, huh? So… What's my name?”
Wade's eyes widen, his pupils, for once, shrinking. He squeezes his legs further together, trying to turn away only to flick him off with his untied finger, his wrists tied to the chair arms.
Francis slams a fist down on the finger, snapping it back as Wade jolts, silently screaming, huffing, beginning to hyperventilate and struggle against the chair best he could.
FffffUCK that hurt! He didn't remember such little fingers ever hurting that badly. Did it always burt that bad? Jesus christ! He needed out. He needed to escape. But he's already tried all his tricks. It only got him hurt more.
Again he hits him, slapping him with the back of his hand hard enough to bust his lip through the tape. The crimson that flooded his mouth made him flinch, gritting his teeth as he swallowed. It was agonizing. Each movement of his throat muscles was worse and worse, seeming almost paralyzed.
“Where do you think you'll go? Huh? You ain't going anywhere! And now look at what you've made me do!” He shouts, as Wade's head leans back, looking at him through his blonde eyelashes, exhausted, the vein they had in his arm pumping out what blood he was replenishing itself at snail speeds.
“You've made me ruin one of my best works yet… but that's okay. All good bitches break eventually. And then you'll be finally useful. The perfect soldier.”
What was it with people and the perfect soldier thing? Didn't the Winter Soldier already have this arc?? And didn't he already try to make him perfect in the first movie? God the writers are really getting lazy aren't they.. His eyes roll, and again he's hit, the sting running up his jaw and across his cheek, feeling the burn in his nose as it begins bleeding heavier.
“But no, you couldn't behave! So now you're going to die, alone, sitting in your own piss. What? Like anyone would actually come to save you?” he laughs. “You actually believe that? That anyone would actually care about you? You're disgusting. Fake skin and all, I know who you are underneath it all.”
Francis grabs his wrists, leaning forward. “Even your own mother couldn't love a face like that. Could she?”
‘He was probably right’, Wade thinks, feeling himself slipping away. His blood felt as if it were pouring out of him like a barrel of whiskey with holes shot through it.. Why didn't Francis just kill him already? He could easily shoot him. Get rid of him like the nasty scum he was.. but he didn't. He nee-
His mind switches to something else mid sentence in his head. A different voice taking over.
Whiskey… the smell of it stained on Logan's sweatshirts used to be the only thing that kept him sane, But now? It hurt too much to think about. It hurts too much to think about his loss. To think he would never smell that again...
If he thought about it anymore? Well, his heart was already about to die.. might as well go out thinking about that muscley hunk of Canadian. How gently he held him. How hot it was when he protected puppins from big dogs at the dog park or braided Laura's hair… how he loved him.
Truely.. loved him..
‘Never again, I fear’, Wade thinks and believes it brokenheartedly.
“Are you even listening to m-”
wwwwWWWOOOO
His head snapped towards the door, picking up a com as he clicked the button, walking away from Wade. Thank god. He was starting to worry that he'd kiss him. Ewww. He would never kiss someone named ‘francis’ or ‘ajax’ for that matter. Wade didn't like soap in his mouth.
“Turn that off! Now! What did I tell you morons abo-” There was shouting on the other end of the line before a scream. Something along the lines of ‘He's here’
“Who!? Who's here?- Doesn't matter. Shut the whole place down! Hello? God damn it-” he switched a line, the loud blaring of the alarm drowning him out. “Angel! What's going on up there? Hello!?? Why the fuck do I even pay you guys? For what?”
On the other line, there was shuffling, boots, shouting, “Find him!-”
The look on Francis’ face was golden. His little slave trade was getting busted. And Wade was physically chained to his seat to watch, death glaring daggers at him with the smallest, smuggest smirk under his tape, breathing through his nose heavily.
“This isn't over yet. Don't you even dare think I'm finished here! You Will obey me!”
The moment he ran out of the room to go save his research (or possibly abandon it), A rumble came from the wall.
Claws.
What? No. He was hallucinating again. His mind was so cruel to him now. Starved, dehydrated and exhausted, mentally physically and emotionally, you name it.
Leaning his head back against the chair, he sighs, watching as an imaginary Wolverine came through the wall, panting, snarling, feral. Like an animal hunting its prey.
The amount of dust and mold that came from the wall was enough to make him cough, and in an instant, Logan was at his side, tearing through the chains.
Damn.. He'd have to give the imagination team some props upstairs. This seemed way too real. The way the red lights flashed over his eyes made him look so pissed, his frantic worry in those blue eyes, the struggle in his voice to keep from crying as his nose twitched. He was sniffing him...he didn't recognize him…
His mouth opened to mutter something.
What was he saying? ‘Oh- hey! Stop shaking me!’ Is what he wanted to say, only to realize that.. Hallucinations couldn't touch you.
His eyes widened, He had given up on being pretty but if that was the truth he wouldn't know how to survive. But he was anything but pretty right now, snot, tears, blood and piss covering him.
It was now that Logan yelled something, Directing some agents or.. police? It was hard to tell when He felt like the ground was trying to drag him down, gravity taking hold of him as he slouched over in the chair, still in too much pain to support himself.
“I need a code, Get me a collar code, NOW!” he read his lips, though, he could have Said “I saw an old get me a dollar cod now” but that didn't make much sense, Wade thought. Then again he wasn't thinking much at all right now.
When Logan finally ripped off both collars and all of the wiring/tubing, he looked like he would puke at the sight of him. Pushing his shoulders up against the back of the chair, his hands shaking, covered in blood and sweat, tears flooding his eyes.
Aw.. he didn't like seeing Logan cry. He was saying so many things, shouting at him angrily, hurt. Those big Atlantic eyes becoming a true ocean. A soft smile came to his bruised and busted lips, staring at him so fondly, sympathetic. He missed Logan.. he missed him so much that his eyes stung just from seeing him. His love was so heavy, weights he could never escape in a room full of quicksand.
Wade opens his mouth but nothing comes out.
“Wade! Answer me! What did you take? What did he give you!? Honey, look at me! Please! Tell me, tell me anything! Wade!-” he shakes him again.
“Tell me what you took, Wade look at me, Tell me what'd you take? Wilson!.. please.. talk to me. Answer me, Wade!” He shouts.
He flinches. Hard.
“Oh… sweetheart....What did he do to you..?” His voice cracks, bringing a hand up to caress his cheek but Wade's hand comes up to hit it away, trying to instinctively turn away into the chair, hiding. He looked so.. terrified. Like he didn't know who he was.
Something about this sends Logan into a rage, growling loudly and snarling towards the door where he ran off. He stands, hairs on his body raised, eyes glazed over with blind hatred.
Just before he runs to shred the man who did this to his husband, He grabs him.
Shaking from weakness and fear, in that chair sat a man he barely knew, eyes as blue as his own, blonde hair growing to look like a buzz cut. So thin. So weak. His neck was burned, his nose was bleeding down his chin, his lip joining in, his black eye almost swollen shut, deep yellow and purple bruising on his rib cage, hand prints on his throat, internal bleeding in his gut. He could tell by the smell of him. That and the massive pooling that shown on his stomach.
His fingers were gripping on Logan's shirt, and tight from the looks of it.
As tight as his remaining strength would let him.
The pleading look in his eye's begged him not to go. Begged him never to leave his side ever again. Such big eyes.. such desperation.. so much pain.
Grunting, Logan points to the door. “DON'T let him get away or I'm coming after YOU!” he growls, watching as all of the remaining soldiers run out the room, leaving Logan with Wade. And Wade with Logan.
No one else mattered now.
Sitting in front of him, Logan held his hands, suddenly panicking. “Wade!” He shouted, squeezing his hand. It was cold.
Where were they? Alaska? Canada? No.. not Canada. If this was Canada he would have to move to a new city and teach himself how to die, how to bury a memory as his life was burying his own with each passing moment.
“Wade? Stay with me. Come on, Just be strong a little longer! Please- You can't leave me again!!” He shouts at the top of his water filled lungs, but Wade can't see anything. He couldn't feel anything either except the cold concrete against his naked stomach as everything disappears.
Heh… funny.. the one time God answered his prayers… When he said he wished he could see Logan again before he died, he didn't mean this.
As did everyone eventually.. as Logan was destined to.
This wasn't how he wanted to go out but.. he was pretty sure that Fate had lost her patience with him.
And so.. that's it... that's the final bell. Close the curtains.. roll the credits.. This movie's over. No post credit scene.
Just…
The End
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nostalgiclittlespace · 19 hours ago
Note
help idk how to be a caregiver
TW: Brief mention of ABDL and kink
Not to worry, I’ll run you through the basics!
Firstly, Caregiving, put simply, is take care of an age regressor. And taking care of an age regressor just means helping someone who thinks and feels younger than they actually are. While this can seem daunting, especially at first, here are some tips :)
1.Firstly, communication is key. When acting as a Caregiver, you should probably know how, when, and why your Little regresses. Asking your regressor about their individual needs is really the most important thing. There isn’t a cookie cutter answer, as we all have different triggers, tastes, etc. Some good points of discussion are:
What age do they usually regress to?
How often and for how long do they usually regress?
What gear do they use?
When do you need to be present/contactable?
What are good or happy things that can cause regression? What bad things can trigger it?
Are they prone to pure or impure regression?
What things make them happy when regressed?
2. Based on the established needs of your regressor, it might be a good idea to get basic supplies. For example, snacks, sippy cups, stuffed animals, and coloring books. These are necessities, especially if they already have their own gear, though I do recommend them for ease and comfort.
3. Most regressors really just want to be cared for like children. Using nicknames such as ‘kiddo’ or ‘baby,’ helping them with tasks such as cooking, playing toys with them, talking through something scary going for a walk together; it’s all about retaining that child like experience, with you taking the place of a parent or babysitter.
4. Know their interests and hobbies and engage with them. Watching Bluey, having a tea party, reading, gaming, exploring the park—whatever it is. Just doing it with them will make them happy.
5. You might already know this since you’re on my blog, but Caregiving is in no way NSFW. It is entirely SFW. Do not confuse it for any ABDL or kink relationship. Again, you probably know this, but I do feel the need to say it since this will be circulating this side of the internet.
6. Just be there. Listen to them talk excitedly about their day. Tell them you’re proud. Give them a sticker. Remind them you love them. It’s those small things that really mean a lot. 7. Lastly, here are some important things not to do. All of the things listed below can be incredibly damaging or even traumatic
DO NOT:
Say derogatory things like “you’re too old to be acting this way.”
Sexualize their regression
Intentionally trigger them without permission
Weaponize or withhold caregiving and regression, such as “I won’t take care of you if you do this” or “I’m going to tell everyone about this if you don’t listen.”
Disrespect or disregard their opinions because of their headspace
Use corporeal punishment
Generally do/say anything that is unkind or disrespectful!
Ok, that’s all I can think of for now. I might update this as time goes on. And if anyone in the community has anymore suggestions, feel free to add them! And to you personally, anon, thx for taking the time to ask and learn about all this. I know it’s a lot, but just that you’re willing to educate yourself on the community means so much. So thank you! anyway, hope you all are having a great day!
-Marty
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inkedbydesire · 13 hours ago
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Jealous (18+)
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Jey Uso x Black Fem Reader
Warning: 18+ Content, SMUT, MINORS DO NOT ENTER
Summary: Everybody does it right? But no one ever wants to talk about it. And you damn sure don’t want to be caught doing it. Your boyfriend Joshua Fatu (aka Jey Uso) was supposed to be out of town (like always). His schedule as a Pro Wrestler kept him constantly traveling away from you. You two spent more time away from each other than you did together. But you never complained because to you, he was worth it. But you still had certain ........... needs. Most of the time you fought those needs until you were near him again but on a few other occasions, you allowed yourself to be consumed by them. And tonight was one of those nights. But what happens when Joshua comes home a day earlier than expected and finds you in your bed enjoying yourself...... without him.
Word Count: 4.1k
A/N: I felt like showing Jey a little love. I apologize in advance for any grammar errors or typos.
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"I'm a liar sweetie. I cheat on niggas too. (I DO). You probably shouldn't trust me or I'll hurt your feelings boo. I don't wanna be here but my ex won't take me back so my broken ass is here small talking over apps."  
You let out an audible laugh even though you'd already seen this scene over 100 times. But no matter how many times you've binged Insecure due to it being one of your comfort shows, Issa's antics never failed to put a smile on your face. You shook your head at her nonsense before averting your eyes to your phone. You picked it up in hopes to have received a message from your boyfriend whom you messaged over 30 minutes ago telling him how much you missed him. But sadly as you looked down at your screen, there was nothing. It was currently 1:05 am so you figured he was most likely sleeping in his hotel room after a long day of press and performing in his wrestling event.
This was a weekly occurrence for you guys so this routine was familiar. But being familiar with something doesn't make it any easier. You still missed him terribly when he was on the road. When you met Joshua over 6 months ago, he was very upfront about his lifestyle before things got serious. His career kept him constantly traveling to different cities almost weekly so it was hard for him to lay down a lasting foundation. This had been a problem for him in previous relationships. He told you that he didn't want to end up hurting anyone else or himself so he had sworn off relationships for a while. You two were only supposed to have had a situationship type of thing. It was just supposed to have been two people enjoying each other's company.
But real feelings always have a way of showing up uninvited. Before you knew it you two had fallen for each other. It took you by surprise the most because you never expected to fall so deeply for a man you met in a Waffle House on a drunken night out with your girls. After a long honest talk, you and Joshua decided to try at a relationship even with all of the obstacles you both knew would be in front of you.
But truthfully, the only real obstacle was time. That was something you were already privy to before going in so you never complained. But that didn't stop you from missing the hell out of him anytime he was away. The longing grew more intense when the sun was down and tonight was no different. You were laying here wide awake rewatching Insecure with nothing but Joshua Fatu on your mind. You craved him tonight in a way that was hard to ignore.
And boy did you try.
Maybe it was because you were ovulating due to your pending time of the month. Or maybe it was just because you loved him. But whatever it was it was unbearable.
Joshua would be back in town tomorrow and would be more than willing to satisfy your needs. You knew that. But tonight...... you just couldn't wait that long. Pushing aside your comforter you got out of bed and walked over to your dresser. You opened the drawer that contained your underwear and rummaged through it for a few seconds. It didn't take long for your fingers to wrap around what you were seeking. With your rose in your hand, you retreated to your bed and quickly climbed in.
God, please close your eyes you thought to yourself before reaching over to your nightstand and grabbing your MacBook. You needed a little help getting in the mood and you knew just what would do it.
You clicked around on your laptop before reaching the private folder you were looking for. You hit play on the file then placed your laptop beside you as you slid down onto your back.
"Why are we recording this"  You heard your own voice coming from your laptop followed by the sound of you giggling.
"For fun ... for memories" Joshua's voice answered back.
Now, you weren't crazy enough to let any man get you on camera. That was one of your golden rules. But you did however mutually agree with Joshua to audio record a few of your steamy sessions. You thought it was harmless fun and now you were grateful you had them saved for moments like this since you weren't that into watching porn. You’d rather close your eyes and listen to one of your and Joshua's audios and mentally travel back to that moment.
As you heard the sound of you and Joshua kissing you pulled the oversized shirt, that oddly enough belonged to him, up and slid out of your panties. You kicked them the rest of the way off with your feet as you got more comfortable.
"I been waiting to taste you all damn day baby girl" you heard Joshua's voice say followed by the sound of him lapping up your juices. Your body shuddered at the memory of his talented tongue as you felt an urgent throb build between your inner thighs. You clicked on your rose while you pulled your legs apart. As you reached down to please yourself, for a fleeting moment you wished that Joshua was there.
But unbeknownst to you, he was only a few minutes from your apartment. In a rare turn of events, he was able to travel home a day earlier from his wrestling event than he had in mind. When he arrived back in the city nearly an hour ago, he dropped by his apartment, freshened up, and got right back on the road headed your way. He missed you fiercely and knew you had to be feeling the same way.
He wanted to call and tell you all about it but he thought surprising you with his sudden presence would be better since he rarely got the chance to do so. It pained him to ignore your message about missing him a little while ago but he didn't want to spoil the surprise. But he had a few ways in mind on how he would make it up to you.
Pulling into your apartment complex he quickly found his regular parking spot. He turned his engine off and then grabbed the duffle bag that contained a few day's worth of clothes knowing he would be staying with you for the next couple of days. He damn near jogged up to your apartment powered by his readiness to see you. When he got outside your door he put the code into the lockbox that contained your spare key. He used it to unlock your front door and then returned it to where he found it. He put his hand on your doorknob and quietly eased into your apartment locking the door behind him. He figured you might be asleep right now and only planned on waking you after he slid into your bed and wrapped you in his arms.
He dropped his duffel bag near your sofa and lightly walked towards your bedroom. As he neared your door he heard something that immediately made him stop in his tracks. He leaned his ear towards your slightly cracked door thinking that he was hearing things.
He listened for a few seconds.
No, he wasn't tripping. Those definitely were the sounds of your moans. He knew that like the lyrics of his favorite song.
Beyond curious he cautiously pushed your door open just a little further. Clearly, you were preoccupied and he didn't think you would notice and you didn't. He was able to gain a full view of your bed and what you were doing on it. You were so wrapped up in chasing your climax that the figure looking at you through the slit in your door went unseen. Through the glow of your tv and laptop, he watched your chest heave up and down and your legs shake as you pressed the rose he didn't even know you owned against your clit.
Joshua traveled so much that he figured you had to do something to hold yourself over until he got back but he never thought he'd be witnessing it. He listened to your moans as he watched your body jerk and twitch in a way he thought only he was capable of doing.
Despite the growing bulge in his pants that he had to reach down to adjust, he found that the sight filled him with unwarranted jealousy. Here he was rushing to get back to you and you didn't seem to be missing him at all. In fact, it looked like he was the last thing on your mind. He knew that it was selfish of him to expect you to wait for him to fulfill your sexual needs but part of him wished you did. If anyone or anything was going to make you shake and moan like that he only wanted it to be him. He felt like it was his job and right now you were giving it away.
As he kept his eyes on you he fought extremely hard against the urge to burst into your room to ruin your moment. He knew that you might be agitated or even mad but he would make it up to you by making you cum countless times like he was known to do. And that would set everything straight.
He hesitated for a long while but ultimately with reluctance decided against it.
Taking a step away from your door he waited until he heard the high-pitched moan of you cumming before he walked back towards your front door. Unlocking it again he grabbed the doorknob opening and closing it louder to get your attention. He had plans to bring up what he saw but not just yet. 
Your eyes jolted open from your state of bliss at the sound. Still feeling the effects of your climax you sat up as quick as you could manage and reached over and clicked on the lamp beside your nightstand.
"IT'S ME." you surprisingly heard your boyfriend Joshua's voice yell. You were relieved because, for a split second there, you thought it was an intruder. Joshua was not supposed to be showing up to your apartment tonight.
The distance between your front door and bedroom wasn't that far so you had no time to find and put your panties back on. They were somewhere tangled in your comforter and sheets. But you did have time to slide your rose underneath your pillow, throw your comforter across your lap, and close your laptop before Joshua neared your door.
"Hey baby........ how are you here?" you asked him as he entered your room. You knew that he had one more night away from you so you were a little confused. But maybe there was a change in plans that you didn't know anything about.
But the hows became irrelevant as your heart swelled at the sight of the man you loved.
You wanted so badly to jump into his arms but your legs were still weak from what you were doing no longer than 5 minutes ago. You didn't want to risk wobbling or falling. That would definitely tip off to Joshua that you were in here up to no good. And you didn't want him to know that you were just in here masturbating. It seemed immature but you would be so ashamed if he found out.
You thanked God that he didn't show up to your apartment just a few minutes earlier or he would've caught you right in the middle of the act.
You pushed those thoughts aside as you watched him step out of the Nike slides he had on before walking over to your bed and standing there.
"You not happy to see me?" He asked you. The way it came out sounded like he had a little bit of an attitude. You were clueless on why he would have one with you so you ignored it and chalked it up to you over analyzing the situation because of what he almost caught you doing. And you knew he was most likely questioning your happiness to see him because you didn't dive into his arms like usual. On any other day, you would've been out of your bed meeting him in the living room.
"I'm always happy to see you, Josh." You answered him with a reassuring smile. You couldn't physically show him right now so you had to choose the right words.
"Umm .....  what you doing up this late though?" He asked you.
"Couldn't sleep." You responded.
"So what you been doing to pass the time?" He asked squinting his eyes at you a little.
"I've been watching Insecure.....  like always" You answered him jokingly as you pointed towards your TV where Issa's crazy life was still playing out on your screen.
"That's all?" Joshua asked while raising his brows at you.
As your eyes remained locked on his you weirdly started to feel like you were under interrogation. You searched your brain but couldn't figure out what for. But it definitely seemed like Joshua was trying to get something out of you.
What though?
The only other thing you were doing before he showed up felt too personal and embarrassing to say out loud so you had no plans on disclosing it to him.
"Yep.... that's pretty much all," you replied to him lying while you shrugged your shoulders. Joshua stared at you for a moment longer before walking over to the side of the bed that you were on.
"That's funny 'cause that's not what I saw." He stated as he sat down near you.  His words caused your heart to sink to the pit of your stomach but you had to keep your composure.
"And what did you see?" you asked him already feeling like you knew the answer but needing the confirmation before you started freaking out. Without immediately responding Joshua just looked into your eyes with a smirk and it all started making sense. You felt like you were being interrogated earlier because you were. Joshua already knew the answer to everything he was asking you because he already knew what you had been up to.
You wondered how in the hell did he know though ....
After a few seconds of shuffling things around in your brain, you put two and two together and figured Joshua must've come into your apartment a whole lot earlier than he made known. You were so consumed with pleasuring yourself that your apartment could've been on fire and you wouldn't have moved a muscle. So you damn sure didn't hear him entering your apartment or coming near your door. You noted to yourself that you needed to be more attentive the next time or at least tackle the basics like closing and locking your damn bedroom door. But you weren't expecting Joshua tonight so you didn't think you needed to be that cautious.
"I didn't even know you had one of those things," Joshua said bringing you out of your thoughts as he reached beside you and started running his hand over your comforter. When he didn't find what he was looking for there he then moved towards your pillows.
"Okay." you quickly said while grabbing his hand before it made contact with your rose. It clicked in your mind that that's what he was feeling around for.
"If you already knew what I was doing .... why you come in here like Inspector Gadget?" you asked him.
The thought of him seeing you in that intimate moment was sending waves of crippling embarrassment through you. Joshua was your boyfriend and had seen you in way more compromising positions but this whole ordeal was still awkward as hell to you. Discovering that something you thought you were doing in private wasn’t as hidden as you thought is a deeply embarrassing feeling.
But you still wanted to be mature about everything.
"I just wanted to see what you would say. No wonder you in here acting like you didn't miss me. You got me replaced." he said.
You searched his face for more amusement because he was clearly getting a kick out of all of this but to your surprise, he actually looked rather serious.
"Wait ... you accusing me of replacing you with an object?" You asked him after you two silently stared at each other for a few minutes. This realization overshadowed any embarrassment you felt about the situation. Now you understood why he seemed to have had an attitude with you when he first entered your room. He saw you with your rose and got jealous. It was taking everything in you not to laugh in his face.
"It's okay for you to enjoy yourself when I'm not here. I understand it. But I'm just saying you were enjoying yourself a little too much." He stated still serious as a heart attack which made it a lot harder to contain your laughter.
"Josh you're not being replaced." You chuckled as you placed your hand on his shoulder to reassure him not believing you actually had to do so. You couldn't believe that this was a conversation you two were actually having.
"I only pull it out when I miss you and I can't stand it anymore," you told him.
"I don't think you understand how badly I want you when you're not here Josh" you added with honesty as your eyes locked on each other's. Yeah, there were certain things you could do to try to pacify your desire for Joshua but nothing compared. So for him to feel a way about an object was bonkers to you. But at the same time, you found it kind of cute.
"I'm here now." Joshua responded to you.
"And what's that supposed to mean?" you asked him playfully as the atmosphere in the room shifted.
"Let me show you," he stated as he reached down grabbed your leg, and pulled you closer to him on the bed.
"My bad for coming in here tripping but it was because I missed you, baby girl." He admitted before leaning over and placing a small kiss on your forehead. You smiled at him as he moved down and pecked your nose before moving to your mouth. You two then fell into a kiss that had the passion of two people who hadn't seen each other in years rather than a few days. You relished in the moment knowing you had to make the most of any time you got with him. That was the basics of your relationship. Every single moment counted because he would be on the road again in the blink of an eye.
As Joshua's hands roamed all over your body he tilted his head down and planted soft kisses on your neck. As he tossed your comforter aside he moved back up to slip his tongue into your mouth.
A couple of intoxicating minutes later, Joshua broke the kiss by standing up leaving you needing way more from him. He then posted up on the side of your bed and you giggled as he reached down and pulled you by your ankle to position you in front of him. You then had the pleasure of watching him as he pulled off his hoodie and shirt all in one swift motion. As you took in how absolutely fine he was your inner thighs throbbed needily. Sometimes all it took was just looking at him to leave you soaking.
"Lay back for me Y/N." He requested and you eagerly did as you were told without any hesitation. You scooted up on your bed and laid back in front of him as he positioned himself between your legs. Staring down at you while running his tongue across his lips, he placed one of his hands on your thigh. He slowly trailed his hand up glazing your clit with his thumb which made your legs involuntarily jolt because you were still sensitive from what you were doing earlier. He ran his thumb up and down your clit teasing you for what felt like ages. It made your wetness grow but it also frustrated you. Then he left you feeling desperate and depraved again as he took his attention off of you for a split second to rid himself of his pants and boxers.
He held his dick in one of his hands while he pushed your legs further apart with the other as he repositioned himself. You sucked in a sharp breath as he ran the tip of his dick up and down your entrance coating it in your wetness. Again, he did that for what felt like ages while you laid there desperately needing more.
"Josh" you breathed out his name as he lifted his dick and tapped it down on your swollen clit.
"Please" you urged him as he repeated the same motion with more pressure making you squirm and reach down to grab hold of his wrist.
"Please what?" He asked you while flicking his eyes up to yours. You knew that he knew full well what you wanted but he loved to play this game. He loved to get you a position where you were practically begging for his dick before he gave it to you. And each time you would feed into his ego.
"Fuck me, Josh .... please" you begged with a pout giving him what you knew he was seeking. He smiled down at you and before you could say another word or prepare your self he suddenly gripped you by your hip and sank his full length into you. But you soon found out that Joshua wasn't done with playing with you yet as he pulled out of you and went back to teasing and tapping your clit with the tip of his dick. You laid there beyond frustrated but felt satisfied when he slipped into your wetness again.
"Fuck" you muttered lowly as he eased in and out of you slowly making your body shudder with every stroke.
"Feels good baby?" He asked you as he kept that same deliberate speed while his dick continuously glazed against your g-spot. You nodded at him as you gently bit down on your bottom lip.
"Say it," he told you as he slipped in and out of your wetness.
"It f-feels good Josh. It feels so fucking good." You expressed to him as you felt pleasure filled knots building in the pit of your stomach. Closing your eyes you focused on trying to hold off climaxing as you grew wetter for Joshua as his speed quickened. Your eyes only flew open again when you heard the familiar buzzing of your rose. You looked up at Joshua wondering when and how he managed to reach over and locate it without your knowledge. But you were so drunk on feeling him inside of you that your mind was completely preoccupied.
"W-what are you doing?" you were barely able to ask him as he didn't miss a beat fucking you. His still plunged in and out of your entrance as he held your rose in the hand he wasn't using to hold your legs apart.
"I wanna try something." He responded.
"Try wh-" you began to ask but were completely cut off by Joshua bringing your rose down onto your clit. Now you could handle your rose on its own but combined with Joshua's dick rocking in and out of you, you almost started seeing stars at the sensation.
"J-Josh ... wait ....oooh fuck ..." you moaned out as you reached down and attempted to push his hand away not being able to handle the pleasure. Your attempt failed miserably as Joshua didn't budge. He continued to pound in and out of you as he used your rose on your clit.
"I c-can't J-Josh" you whined out to him as your toes curled and your legs violently shook. You felt tears welling up as your breathing became shallow and your heartbeat accelerated.
"Yes you can ... you got it baby"  Joshua encouraged you as he pounded deeper and deeper into your wetness. You tried to take it but the feeling was too powerful for you to comprehend causing your climax to hit you like a tidal wave out of nowhere. All kinds of profanities left your mouth as it felt like you were having an out of body experience.
Joshua was satisfied as he watched you lose yourself as you squirted cum all over his dick. That's when he knew he could use your rose to his advantage. 
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bubblegum-blackwood · 1 year ago
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🤲what do YOU get out of writing?
Ah good question. I feel like that's a complicated one that's not so straightforward to answer.
TL;DR - idk I like it :] and I like people
I've been writing fiction since I was nine years old. My teacher had us do some creative writing in class, and I fell head over fucking heels for the concept! It's crazy to see how much I've grown since then 😂 but I kid you not, I've known I wanted to write for a living since I was nine years old. I did it once and was like yeah . . . I like this. Funnily enough, I started out writing fanfiction, although at the time I hadn't heard of that word or that concept. My sibling and I had a game we called "Kid Wars" - essentially, we RPed being Star Wars OCs. My character was a female clone of Jango Fett (how did I come up with that as a small child and then The Bad Batch happened????????? will never get over that) who secretly joined the Jedi Order and fell in love with Obi-Wan 😂😂😂 ah, children. This origin story is never not funny to me. Anyway, over the years since then, it's slowly evolved into something nearly indistinguishable from Star Wars (I've mostly just kept something that vaguely looks like the Force and some OC names and arcs, but the worldbuilding is entirely original, and I had so much fun with it!)
But I digress.
It's ironic to me because even though my writing days largely started with terrible self-insert fanfiction I since then only wrote original works and even railed almost as vehemently against fanfiction as Anne Rice herself! 😂 But I spent some time on Tumblr and I caved and read Burden of my Days by @hekateinhell and have never been the same since. And now I have 36 fics and counting!
What originally drew me to writing as a kid is just the whole idea of making shit up. I've been making up silly lil stories in my head to keep my insomniac ass busy at night since I was in kindergarten, and when I realised I could write them down? When I realised I could get paid money for that shit??? Hell yeah! I can make a career out of doing something I genuinely love doing, and I'm so grateful that it's even an option for me because I have no clue what I would have told people I wanted to be when I grew up otherwise. As I've gotten older, I've understood more about what exactly I enjoy about writing (which allows me to take inspiration from the books and shows I like without copy-pasting every minute detail that I don't actually need) - it's people. I like people, I like knowing what makes them tick, I like watching them fuck up and I like watching them interact with others. It's part of what draws me to psychology and sociology, too. I just genuinely enjoy stories. I could eat a well-done character arc for breakfast, honestly. And that's what gets me about the writing. My books don't need big grand plots, the conflicts largely are not centered around big bads with large armies, it's all about people and the relationships they have with others within the narrative. (Don't get me wrong, though, I have fantastical elements - vampires and ghosts, especially, are quite abundant in my stories).
Plus, there's something about the actual process of writing that just gets me in a good mood. Sometimes the executive dysfunction or general life fatigue makes it hard for me to get myself to pick up the pencil, but when I feel motivated, DAMN, the juices be flowing! Sometimes I get in the zone and I just know what happens next and the words just come to me and it feels good, honestly good. I can agonize over it for hours sometimes, but crafting artful sentences to paint a picture with words is such a powerful feeling. I just can't imagine how my life would have turned out had I not discovered how fun it is to write.
And with fanfiction? To me, it's all about connection. To look deeper at the text, to identify what you like about events or characters or pairings and make it your own, to really know the book you love so much. But not only that, then also you get to connect with other fans! You get to get excited together, be proud together, maybe even make friends through it! You get to talk to people!!! And I think the value of that can never be understated enough.
Anyway. I've rambled plently now 😂 thanks for the ask!
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deoidesign · 3 months ago
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Hello! I just discovered your blog and I immediately became captivated by your webcomic, but I'm unsure where to read all of it. I know it's on Webtoons, but I can see it hasn't been updated for a while, and you still post about it.
Are your physical novels just prints of the webcomic? Are they a continuation? Is the story complete? Thanks in advance!
Hi there!
Glad you found me and are enjoying my comic!
It's only on webtoons, and the story is not complete yet! We're 2/3 of the way through right now. It's currently on hiatus, and it's scheduled to come back in about 2 months!
I'll explain why it's been so long if you're curious, but also for my followers who might also be wondering about it under the cut. Sorry, it's pretty much just me complaining haha
I took a month off I took 2 months to get the books printed I took a month to prepare my next comic and I took 2 months to write the rest of the series (I knew the character arcs I wanted, but not the time periods or mysteries!!!) I've been working on actual episodes since then
I had to take some time off because of some pretty extreme burnout due to the sheer amount of work it was to draw over 800 pages and write 6 complete stories in a year and a half... I was getting sick almost weekly due to the overwork, it was really really bad honestly. I was having to work 60+ hours every week just to keep up...
The nature of the comic itself is also difficult... Each of the arcs is a complete, self contained story which can be read (ideally) without context, and my arcs need to be about 10-13 episodes each... And since I have an exact number of episodes to work with, it's even harder.
It takes a ton of planning and a ton of refinement, and working week to week with no breaks I was forced to put out second or even first drafts, so I just wasn't happy with the work I was doing... And to do that for the rest of the series? I wouldn't be proud of the work I did.
Plus... To be entirely honest, webtoon has treated me quite badly IN MY OPINION... They deprioritized me before I launched (I had to beg for more promotion, I'm not exaggerating), they outright denied me the opportunity to even ask for a raise, I don't make any money on fast pass and they pay me less than my partner makes working at trader joes. My first editor left me completely hanging, my second editor (who I loved) was fired... And they told me I wouldn't get a third season before my first season even finished. So it was just repeatedly completely demoralizing.
I'm sorry it has taken so long, it'll have been 10 months by the time I come back. But I realized... I won't get promotion either way. I won't get more episodes either way. I won't get more money either way. So to finish everything, to make it feel good, to make it something I'm proud of, I chose to take longer to make it better.
I am fully aware I will lose a significant amount of my readership for this and it might genuinely affect my career moving forward. But it's what I had to do! So I'm sticking to my guns on it, and I'm confident long term it'll be worth it. It never could have been this good if I didn't take this much time.
#asks#steakandpeanutbuttersandwiches#I'm SO sorry youre new and you asked me such a benign question and I responded with... this... LMAO#I swear to god I tried to make it as short as possible#theres just a lot auauuaghkhgjk#basically. way too much work. not enough money.#so it either is gonna be good and take longer or be worse but come back faster#and I chose to take longer#so.#I'm really sorry and I wish that this decision didn't also come with the... pretty much guarantee that it will negatively impact my career.#I will lose readers. I will lose potential readers for my future work. it looks bad on me as a creator to take such a big break. etc. etc.#but it's good. it's so good. you have to trust me it's like the best stuff Ive ever written#it. ok well to be honest#it'll probably feel extremely simple and extremely natural#but it's been SO much work LMAO#I am not exaggerating I have written over 200 pages of scapped ideas to get to where it is#I'm sure it won't make sense why it took so long while reading but you gotta trust me LMAO#ideally it doesnt even 'feel' different right. cause its gotta be cohesive with the whole thing#but there is SO MUCH TO WRAP UP#THERES SO MUCH#and to make that feel natural in this little space oh my GOD it is so hard#ok omfg I'm doing it again I'm going on way too long again IM SO SORRY#YOURE NEW HERE AND IM DOING THIS IMMEDIATELy#this is like 90% for my followers who I know are curious about this and I'm just using you as a jumping off point to talk about it#cause I don't really like to make standalone posts very often#I likely will make some kind of official announcement about it when the date is extremely set in stone#right now I think it's still only tentatively scheduled so it could still change#and I'll say something more... refined and restrained... then.#but for now this is like. actually everything. I think#I'm sure I forgot something but whatever lmfao
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simcardiac-arrested · 2 years ago
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an understanding [1/2]
(part 2)
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transmascutena · 9 months ago
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thinking about how akio sees his younger self in utena and wondering if there's any fondness there. doesn't change the horror of what he does to her obviously but i do wonder
#akio and utena#m#long ramble in the tags sorry:#the thing about akio is that he's so evil bit he's also so human#he has feelings. i just don't know what they are (if anything) toward his victims#he loves anthy at the very least i'm sure of that. even if he hates her too. just like she loves and hates him. the lines are blurry.#and i just. i have to wonder whether any of that extends to utena at all. we know anthy at times feels similarly about utena and dios#(and akio by extension.) the simultanious love and resentment. so it's not too unlikely i think.#like. even though he never had anything but bad intentions in getting close to her#i'm not sure it's possible to do everything he did and feel nothing#not that he has any meaningful amount of guilt or remorse for it. i don't think that.#and i obviously don't think he “loved” her in any of the ways she might have thought he did#but did he not care at all? did he not feel any kind of fondness or sympathy or just. idk. pity? for her?#whatever the case it wasn't enough to reconsider having her killed so you know. how much does that actually matter anyway#idk. i think about it a lot. how abusers are rarely entirely indifferent toward their victims#the role he's playing in her life is so fucked up but it IS a role he's playing and i wonder how much he you know... internalizes it?#how much does he believe the illusion of family that he invites her into? because akio DOES often buy into his own illusions.#(similarly i think it's possible that akio is fond of touga too. their mentor-protégé relationship is horrible and abusive#but that doesn't make it less real. you know? maybe real is the wrong word.)#when he talks in episode 25 about wanting utena and anthy closer that's obviously so he can continue to groom her#but is there something genuine there too? i don't know.#again. it obviously does not make anything he does better or even different. but it is interesting to think about to me.#on the other side of that coin does seeing his own past youth and naivete and desire to do good that he (maybe) once had#reflected back at him through her mean anything?#is there resentment there? that she is what he couldn't be? or more likely he just thinks that idealism is stupid.#either way it's something he wants to take from her. anyway ramble over.#i talk a lot about utena's feelings toward akio (familial vs romantic love and the way the two are intertwined in fucked up ways)#but not much the other way around. probably because utena is actually a sympathetic character whose feelings the show very clearly#wants you to analyze and think about.#which is... less true for akio i think. though he's still a complex character with complex motives. he's just harder to get a grasp on.
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minecraftbookshelf · 1 year ago
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At this point the only thing keeping me from adding other characters from mcyters into this world is the fact that it would, eventually bring me to the point of "Xornoth and Scott's little sibling, Aimsey" and at that point there is no salvaging the original storyline.
It's a whole separate au that I'll have to come back to after this one is more or less done
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nerosdayinanime · 1 year ago
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wait. random idea. Pathetic(blame candy) muzan & kokushibo are exes from Centuries ago and he has Complaints hed like to talk about w him but all hes getting to now is Nakime. hes so sick of his bullshit and just enduring it and goes to kagaya like 'i have to kill kibutsuji. ill help you kill him & the other upper moons just PLEASE im so sick of this shit. i need to kill him' 'well you arent killing me so ill give you the benefit of doubt-'
since they broke up he's hacked at the curse to the point he can snap it Whenever without muzan noticing, he finally did so & went to kagaya bc he can Feel shit's gonna pick up soon. he has his memories but he Ignores Them bc hes ashamed and kinda projecting it onto muzan. he has to kill muzan to kill his shame kinda fucked up coping mechanism yk?
the hashira try to kill him On Sight together but he calmly deflects everything while explaining hes working with them to kill kibutsuji. reluctant acceptance with the note from kagaya giving him a pass. most of them fully believe its a trap tho.
koku seeing tanjiro & his earrings and starting to approach, giyuu already has his blade lodged in his neck as a warning/threat & tanjiro staring at him in shock like 'HUH?? THE MAN FROM MY DREAMS?? HES A DEMON NOW? WAIT WHATS HE DOING HERE-'
#allied kokushibo au#he gets to have a conversation w tanjiro (giyuu watching like a fucking hawk) about his brother & sun breathing and all that- nezuko and her#conquering the sun- koku agreeing that of any demon she deserves to have the sun's blessing. not fuckin *muzan*. he'll want his grubby#little hands on her as soon as he finds out. You. practice sun breathing Right Now you have to be Ready for this.#kokushibo#tsugikuni michikatsu#kny spoilers#<probably need to add that since this is like Entirely surrounding the final few arcs#he talks to tomayo&yushiro and shinobu and gets in on their plans. maybe stop shinobu from her suicide attempt & deals with douma himself#leaves more than just tanjiro and giyuu to fight akaza#i dont remember how kaigaku's goes isnt zenitsu the only one? if so he can keep that thats his atonement whatever for jigoro#nakime however is going to have much more of a Time defending against like 4 hashira at once#yadda yadda less casualties happier ending. koku not knowing what the fuck to do now. stop the need to Eat People to live obviously but what#the fuck. he still hates himself. all the tereible shit hes done and for What. does he kill himself? walking into the sun seems like a good#way to go. fitting yk? but if he becomes fully human like nezuko did what the fuck does he Do. just. Live? after all the shit he did? no..#cool at the beginning but the ending has many questions#i do think he'd want to kill himself but i also think he'd be scared to see his brother in the afterlife. in canon it feels like a spur of#the moment Explode Yourself bc the emotions were overwhelming in the moment#or maybe its been way too long since ive read the manga and this shits ALL out of character#whatever it was funnie at first but then i put too much thought into it#def wanna see somethn with him & tanjiro talking about how theyre connected#kny manga spoilers
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