#i probably kinda am a bit tired
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Don’t think I ever quite said what my LGBTQ+ headcanons are for the boys, so these are my current thoughts! Always changing of course but this is what I feel most strongly right now.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt headcanons#rise donnie#rise leo#rise mikey#rise raph#donnie and leo’s sexualities being practically swapped was unintentional but it works way too well#same with mikey and raph tbh it was a happy accident#anyway I kinda hc raph as the type who doesn’t care about physical appearance just if you fight lol#Mikey’s more than happy with friends and family#Donnie is a BIG romantic but he needs time to sus a person out fully before he gets the hots for them#leo meanwhile isn’t keen on romance unless it’s with someone he grows to really really REALLY trust#I could go on and probably will later (knowing me) but it is late and I am tired haha#turtle art tag#curious as to what everyone else headcanons#the only one of these I’ll defend forever is Bi (female-leaning) donnie and trans leo#all the others can change over time but I really like where they’re sitting right now#I hope these are the right flags too because it was kinda hard to find them#went looking for transmasc flag in particular but I couldn’t find a solid agreed upon version 😭#ngl a big part of why I hc mikey as aro is because of a pun#my phone often misspells aromantic as aromatic and- and you get it- because aromatic herbs and- and Mikey is a chef do YOU GET IT#note that while I hc leo as bisexual (male-leaning) I still think he’s prob closer to demi in that as well just not as far into the spectrum#if that makes sense#headcanons are fun and hard to narrow down at the same time alas#I made this in like an hour can you tell djjdjd#I drew them all from memory so if there’s anything wrong…shhh#and if you’re wondering for April and Splinter#Both are Bisexual (female-leaning) but April is also Panromantic#I almost wanna make Splinter demiromantic too so Big Mama’s betrayal hits just a bit harder
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I'm on a work trip--it's a class of people in my field picked from all over the country, so I don't know anyone else here--and the info packet I got basically said "people have told us they wish they'd been given a chance to meet everyone else before the class starts, so if you want to do that, show up to the hotel bar at this time and look for people who look like lawyers."
and I know. that I should go do this, because networking good. but also. this is weirdly stressful. how do I make sure that a group of random lawyers knows I am also a lawyer while still being casual and chill but not dressed formally at all
am i going to have to take off my combat boots for this
#and put on regular heeled boots instead which is fiiiiine but ugh#i have zero anxiety on a normal basis so when i do have some level of anxiety i am tormented by it#and also ive been flying about all day and im kinda tired#but networking damnit#I am almost always wearing a tiny scales of justice#which were handed down from my mother#so that's probably a good indicator but you have to get pretty close. the urge to just pin my Bar card to my shirt....#like. this is fine. but meeting new people always takes Effort#especially with lawyers who tend to be a bit more conventional and also frequently older than me
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#genuinely i didnt do this on purpose i was just very tired when i went to draw yesterday and did pose practice instead of new comic#but then i see franz kafka trending this morning and i remembered this hellsite has the most arbitrary holidays i love it#dr draws#danganronpa#dr#ndrv3#drv3#kokichi ouma#ouma kokichi#kokichi oma#oma kokichi#glittersart#TAPP AU#if you want it doesnt have to be#but i am working on an ask about how everyone is holding up post-sim#mostly in writing if thats alright bc im not positive yet how to draw out the story i want to tell#and therein is a small headcanon that kokichi kinda. for several reasons has a bit more intense a time than most of his classmates#and sometimes he Needs to sleep at arbitrary times during the school day. if he wont do it voluntarily he'll just kinda faint-#- which is especially frustrating for him because the lack of control and his inherent distrust of most people fuel his paranoia-#- and over time he designates a couple of Probably Secure places around campus that he can sleep if his dorm is too far.#ive started setting it up (itll take a lot of drawing to explain it all) but one of them is the animal shed#i do want to try actively to write about Students Who Aren't Kokichi but this all did start bc im kinda fixated atm#actually i think kokichi has been in all of the comics so far. like at least appeared#which will probably continue to be true as kokichis brand of pranking#('i put a kick-me sign on kaitos back and when saihara sees it theyll have an excuse to talk. all according to plan.')-caliber#is a nice device to crash characters into eachother like bumper cars
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…Hey. Hey.
If the Roblox “noob” skin technically represents like. The concept of a “straight up out of the box new player pre getting accessories and stuff” new Roblox Player (despite the current starting outfit technically being something else-whatever-)
…Would a technically-The-Most-Accurate Poob Humanization look like a guy who’s just Uncannily Average save for the fact they’re a little goofy? Like. “Emmet from Lego Movie”, but also “Guy who’s so average looking they’re basically an SCP in that even if you tried describing them while staring straight at them you couldn’t do it, couldn’t remember their face after looking away, somehow fits everyone’s independent perception of what ‘average guy’ would look like perfectly even when those same people have wildly differing ideas of what a Perfectly Average Guy would look like, despite having the same face for both of them. Actually, is it the same face? Can you say that for sure? We have the photos right here- Why is it so hard to double check? There’s hundreds of photos from hundreds of different parties over the years- Why do the drawings keep coming out so different when they work off the same photos, then? Why does the face never seem to change? Why is the only thing anyone can remember, aside from a fun-loving party animal with a big smile, a lack of defining characteristics?
…Oh also they’ve got a party hat. That’s pretty consistent actually”
#This post brought to you by ‘it’s 3 am I have face blindness and I’m Very Tired#Is this anything? hell if I know#regretevator poob#regretevator#party noob#poob regretevator#Like.#like. listen I know it’s probably not accurate or ehatever#plus honestly I kinda like the idea of Poob as a funky little Wander Woy toon guy better#but like. going strictly by humanization standards#And like. the idea of the one character in a whole menagerie of crazy designs/pos#ranging from inanimate object to banana dog centaur to 2d image#where even Pest has been redesigned to stand out a bit more with changed text and stuff#We have Poob. who is defined by being a default skin#…That could be a fun concept tbh#idk maybe I’m just Tired
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Entering depressed dreamty wave era of the month, I’ll excuse myself for being moody, I randomly feel like crying on the floor.
#so uh you know when you realize you have a patern and smell that you’re approaching a period where you’ll feel extremely low ?#that me rn#I’m starting to feel weird and i’m self aware enough to know that mean I’m slowly falling under a wave of negative feelings and that at any#given moment I’ll be having an emotional meltdown#so like I’m feeling a bit sad but I know that soon i’ll feel BIG sad#kinda like seing the water dissapearing on a beach and knowing a tsunami approach#so I’ll excuse myself in advance for being emotionally tired and in general constantly sad#i know i’m very open on this blog about moments where I feel down#but I don’t want to be seen as ‘the girl who can’t shut up about being sad’#i can’t shut up in general#so i do end up not closing my mouth when feeling strong emotion of sadness#also i need a therapist but for personal reasons can’t get one#which sucks#am I trauma dumping here ? definetly#will I’ll probably delete this later out of shame ? surely#that a lot of tags because i don’t feel like saying this out loud on text#I think i’m annoying#most of the time I’m sure that I am#lacking self confidence suck#anyway#dreamty’s ramble#tw vent#vent
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IM BACK.
#I kinda just disappeared for a week without a word but hi guys I’m here now :D#I’m so tired so I probably won’t make are for a tad bit but I am so excited to finish my Artfight drawings#art*#hiiiiiii#rando ramblings
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I've finally finished my first boss for my demon hunting game Judgement Nights! A guard dog for a much stronger demon, Grub keeps their secret safe and hidden from all mortal or demonic eyes
#I hope the notes help to understand what I was trying to go for hehe#Judgement Nights as a system hasn't really been tested by players yet. Just me.#I haven't played enough ttrpgs to know if something like this has been done before or not but something like it probably does lmao#think original fallouts if all of your allies shared one turn instead of being sorted into a turn order. If it was all just your guy's turn#And you had to balance using your AP wisely because whatevers left over you can use to counter the opponents turn!!#I hope that makes some sense I've been writing for a minute now and am kinda tired I'll probably go more in depth in another post#this post was supposed to be abt Grub but now its abt the combat as a whole woopsie :3#Grub needs just a bit more polish but I'm really happy I've gotten this far. Used to kinda be a far out idea but now that a Demons characte#sheet is right in front of me it feels almost surreal#First time designing a Tabletop game from the ground up and not basing it off an existing ip/ converting a video game into a tabletop#(even though its still very video game inspired taking a good bit from Devil May Cry)#indie ttrpg#Judgement Nights#ttrpg
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for as much as i keep reblogging posts about writing and my personal thoughts on it (eg: going on about how i gotta just write what i want and have fun etc), it's incredible that i haven't been able to lay a single word down in any WIP doc for so long now
#im equal parts overwhelmed by the sheer amount of concepts i could be writing out and just flat out tired at the same time#brain fog has been insanely bad#i want to do all the things but i cant for literally no reason#just end up staring at an unfinished story thing and am unable to continue writing it#or even starting anything new for that matter#even tho i Want to#same kinda goes for drawing too tho i have attempted to sketch a bit but can't do much aside from like#small rough sketches i can't really do anything with#but my god my brain won't shut up with character ideas and in-depth analysis on story concepts#like there's no lack of creativity there. it just doesnt want to be turned into a form that i can share with anyone#anyway. its frustrating#im exhausted#spectre says#delete later probably
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man.
#💭 — ⌗nervo rambles . ★#gonna say I'm venting a bit (kinda of a lot)#but I may seem selfish from this and let me say now ik everyone was putting themselves first (which is a very good thing)#but having three mutuals deactivate their accounts within I think two months or so??#I rlly don't like to be negative and I might also take a break from Tumblr (as much as I love posting here#so I'm still unsure if I'll even stick to that) bc of how negative I've been lately#I just don't want to keep venting and putting that on everyone so#but yeah I just. It makes me sad to see old/new mutuals go#I never thought I'd have to like#witness it#Idk#I've cried over losing them all and it feels rlly silly but I mean idk#I (try to — my feelings with crying are iffy and I hate admitting I do cry) not cry over everything but I just can't word stuff rn#might be posting less/not posting at all for the next few days or so#I'm gonna be busy in July anyways so it's probably better to just say that now#sorry guys I'm just dealing with some stuff mentally lately (an example being gender dysphoria but I can't even word the stuff going on#not to sound like I'm overexaggerating bc I rlly don't wanna seem like I am. It's nothing too serious so don't#be worried at all pls I'm ok enough I won't just disappear)#I just wish I could have alone time in my room with my cats without my family bugging me for a few days#It's tiring atp#I wanna lock myself up just to recooperate and figure out how to deal with certain things the best I can#anyways yap fest over I'm gonna go play wuwa and build Jinshi more#sorry for venting again 🫡🫡
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#bonus under the cut where they're just a tiny bit closer because i couldn't decide which one was better#lairon#lairon is also pretty good. they have this Really big nose thing happening here which i'm not sure if it's supposed to be a nose or not#but it definitely looks like one from this angle. it definitely Looks like they're snifsnifsnifsniffing that kind of vibe#even though it's kinda on the top of their head. either way lairon is a steel-type and that's inherently cool#i very much like steel-types that look less like Objects or Mechanisms and more like Creatures. Animals. but that's just my personal taste#notably it's also part rock-type because reasons i guess so 4x weakness to fighting my belovèd. just like weavile#and ground also. but at least the rock typing nullifies steel's weakness to fire! in exchange for. a weakness to water#ahh well i dunno anything about the stats of this bitch. i assume they're good and very tanky because steel-type but i'm not#gonna look it up. i usually do but i am tired this morning and i need to just get some coffee and take my meds so i can call someone to#come pick me up and take me to fedex because i don't have a fucking car anymore and also driving is very scary and hard#probably my grandma. which is ironic because she's the one i sold my car to. she'd be taking me to fedex in my own car‚ technically#i dunno y'all. i need to work‚ too‚ so i should probably stop writing. y'all have a good day. brits out there take care with the heat wave#if that's still going on by the time this posts
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the only things I've done recently are:
sleeping
making random things with paper maché
playing Plague Inc.
#in order of time spent doing them. I think#idk. it's kinda fun. but dear god I am so tired and everything is exhausting and I would like to be able to do like. a few more things maybe#I'm fully obsessed with paper maché tho lol. it's so stupid how fun it is#and I started playing Plague Inc for the first time since before 2020. for probably obvious reasons.#it's pretty fun on the Switch too even though the text is a bit small#oh! and I've been listening to audiobooks pretty much whenever I'm awake#except when watching Taskmaster or Gilmore Girls with my husband lol#personal
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:3
(☆w눈)/ its been awhile
I've missed being here 🥺
#definitely going to have fun reblogging stuff again 🤭#I haven't really drawn much but I did do a meme redraw one#currently been playing dynasty warriors 7 XL and started playing dbz fighterz again. I want to try online battle but I'm kinda scared 😭.#I'm such a beginner. minus that I've been having fun playing the story/ also against the cpus in the arcade mode but they be beating my ass#also this is my first time playing a DW game and I love it ♡. Ofc the samurai warriors games will always hold a special place in my heart 🥰#but im really am enjoying DW7(XL)#oh yeah I forgot not that long ago I got into Kaiju no. 8!!! I love it so much 🥺🫶. And Kafka is my beloved 😭🥰 iLhsm#(I even made a new oc cause of how much I fell for KN8 🤭) she currently has no name.#I'm getting tired 🥱 but I'll probably rb stuff for a bit#if you read this far you really shouldn't have 🤭🫶 I appreciate you for hearing me ramble lol.
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ok i’m gonna set an alarm but it is not the end of the world if i miss the lecture tomorrow
#i am quite frankly concerned by my attendance. i am not academic weaponing it up. i am being academically attacked#it’s fine it’s fine. i always get caught up and i’d say i’m making it to a solid three quarters of them. but it’s not ideal yknow#turns out living alone is very hard and i am oh so tired. all of the time#which yes is in part bc i’m struggling with sleeping. and also low iron is low ironing bc i’m bad at remembering to take my tablets#and social awkwardness is quite frankly reaching the point where it’s probably just actual anxiety. teebeehaitch#it’s better than it was when i first got here but uhm. not by much#even posting on here is freaking me out a bit bc i keep remembering that i have like. 1700 followers for some reason#like you’re telling me that what amounts to my diary is hypothetically being read by 1700 people. that’s fucking insane. what am i doing#like i only get a few notes on personal posts obviously but still. it kinda freaks me out#might make another blog idk. not right now i am going to have a nap <3 and hopefully attend my lectures <3#i can hear birds singing outside. why do i keep doing this to myself#morganposting
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#my posts#...........................................................................................................................................#............................................................................................................................................#is that enough i think that's enough#yeah that's how its going#everything's been getting worse and I've been feeling very bad but also very pathetic and like complaining almost makes me feel worse but#i can't do anything else about this so like. vent post lmao bc I'm a dumbass#i truly just want to(redacted)but one of those isn't an option and the other i have a drs appointment soon and i don't want to explain that#everything is just. bad. and what isn't i feel like it's getting bad and it's my fault. and I'm probably right.#just. i hate it here#the deserving mentality is truly getting to me and i fucking hate it. it's not logical. I'll still agree with it.#i truly don't deserve the food stuff i can't keep in my life and i deserve the shit that in getting and i can't stop agreeing with that#'oh this classmate wants to have lunch with me on Saturday after working on something! i should cancel before it's too late-#-so i can continue feeling bad for being an apple bc people should hate me bc I'm horrible and don't deserve kindness' like#it's. it's false. it's not logical. and yet#everyone else there's the fucking plexiglass wall and where it wasn't i think it's getting formed and it is my fault probably#i am annoying that one is true#.... I've been making posts like this all day and deleting them bc I'm pathetic also. it's.#... there's a little too much going on lmao#nothing's worth it and i feel like shit and anything i could try to do about it doesn't work and I'm just tired#... in case someone does read this i know it sounds worrying but nothing will happen tbh I'm just a pathetic coward who's sad and tired#and tired of being sad in a way that feels like it's getting worse#I'm not very sure when was the last time i felt. this bad in just. i don't know how to make it stop lmao#also in already annoying so this is all i can do i think lmao#i think I'm seeing now I'm just. being redundant and if i keep this up too much i will delete this. and i should but. i don't think i will#also without saying much this year the one thing™ has been worse than usual and that's not helping either so it truly is just.#that everything is kinda very bad#.... yeah. whatever. it's just.¯\_(ツ)_/¯#... i truly wish killing myself was still an option like when i was a teen bit it's not so i just have to deal with whatever this is#... i hate being aware this is all super illogical bc the logical post of my brain teams up making me feel worse somehow.
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pain garbage
hate that even w/ all the pain meds in the world i end up sleeping like 4 hours, and All of it is Bad Sleep. so within like 3 hrs of being awake, the body just fucking Collapses like. im trying to. do Anything rn, even just to pass the time bc i KNOW i cant try to sleep yet (cant take Too many pain meds over short amt of time) and im just *is tired* *is tired* *is tired* *is tired* *is tired* *is tired* like a ping over and over like. yes i Know, body. i cant do shit about that until ive waited long enough and can take pain meds again to Attempt Sleep again. please shut up and let me exist for a little bit
#not sure why im typing this up here#probably bc im exhausted and annoyed about that and it feels like theres very little Anything i can actually Do atm#but i sure can Complain#i will never stop being jealous of ppl who can just be like 'hm. im kinda tired. i think ill sleep for a little bit'#like How. how can you just Do That. whenever you want. how can you sleep 8-10 hrs a night. i miss that so goddamn much#i know i should know this already but i keep re-learning that I Am Disabled and that Being Disabled: Fucking Sucks
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it sucks when you know something’s wrong with your brain but you cant figure out what it is
#feeling down ⌞ 🌧️🗝️⌝#kinda vent#vent art#ive always just assumed it was just depression#but looking at it closer I feel like its been more than that but I honestly don’t know#tw depression mention#kinda#tw mental health#tw mental illness#dw I’ll probably be fine in a bit#sorry if this isn’t stuff your usually expecting from me#vent#ive kinda just been slowly getting into this state of wanting to stay in bed and never have to get up#not in a suicidal way ig? but more in a#“i am very tired and desperately just want someone to actually hear and I want the world to just stop for two seconds so I can have a break#if that makes sense lol#…I realize I forgot I watermark on my art#eh whatever#tw suicide mention
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