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bonny-kookoo · 1 year ago

Text

Jungkook

𝐒𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐎𝐥𝐝𝐞𝐫 | Attachment

There's something growing between the two of you- or are you simply growing closer?

Tags/Warnings: Aged up!Jungkook, Younger!Reader, Age Gap (9 years, JK is mentioned to be 34/35), Angst, Mature romance, Jungkook's ex wife, mentions of past physical abuse, mentions of alcohol abuse, fluff, flirty Jungkook, fluff!!, reader is a bit jumpy, some more lore, smut, slow sex, position changes, mentioned round two, some angy jungkook (but not at reader), some angst in the end but it's all resolved dw

Length: 7.2k words

There is no taglist for this fic.

-> Masterlist

A/N: I did not proofread this I'm sorry

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"Do you even know where we're going?" Jungkook worries, sitting next to you on the subway, but you just shrug.

"I know how to get back though, that's more important." You simply say, making him even more nervous.

Jungkook isn't used to giving up control like this. He's not used to being spontaneous and just doing things out of the blue because you feel like it. Things have to be structured, planned out and with a Plan B to go with it in case something goes wrong. He's an overthinker, and it shows, as he keeps looking around and asking.

"Just relax. There's a park nearby that I wanna go to. We can get some food close by and just eat it there." You say, and he sighs.

"I'm sorry." He admits, leaning back into the seat to try and relax more.

"Its alright. Most people panic whenever I talk about trips I take." You laugh.

"Do you travel a lot?" He asks, and you shrug.

"Used to. But.. he was more of a homebody. Didn't like staying at hotels." You explain, watching the scenery pass by next to you outside the window. "He kind of ruined it for me because he'd just.. continuously point out flaws in everything." You say, and Jungkook listens quietly. "Flaws that I'd.. overlook most of the time, because, nothing's ever perfect anyways, so why focus on that all the time?" You giggle, looking at him now.

"I'd disagree, but also agree." He chuckles. "There can be perfect things. It's just a matter of perspective, and how it's perceived by someone." He offers. "What's perfect to one might not be for another." Jungkook explains, and you nod.

"Thats the more.. complicated way of explaining it, I guess." You joke.

"I tend to overcomplicate things." He bashfully agrees, making you lean into him, resting your head against his shoulder.

"You'll.. tell me when I get too much, right?" You ask quietly, and he nods, arm wrapping around you as if to reassure.

"I will, don't worry." He reassures you, before he moves to pull your hand up to kiss the back for it-

A gesture that makes you blush, especially from the people around you fawning over it as well.

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He's caught off guard when you walk around in nothing but underwear, visibly unbothered by him seeing you like this.

"Do you.. want to join me?" You ask. "The tub is a bit small but..?" You question, looking over your shoulder at him, who looks oddly unsure. Considering you both have had sex twice now- or more so once, really, it's odd to think that he's like this now. Is it because the nature of your.. whatever it is, has changed?

You're no longer just strangers without any connection. There's something deeper now growing. And maybe that's what's putting him under pressure.

"If you'd like me to." He shrugs.

"Only if you want." You say. "I won't be upset if you say no. I'm a big girl, I can handle rejection." You giggle, and he chuckles as well, smile a bit less tense as before.

"I'm sure you can." He agrees. "Though I'd be stupid to reject." He jokes, getting up to walk closer to you.

"Or simply cautious." You shrug. "Nothing wrong with that." You remind him, but he simply nods, and follows you into the bathroom. The water is streaming in, hot, soap bubbling up. Jungkook watches how you easily shed your last items of clothing before you sink into the water, and he does the same now, revealing himself bare to join you in the barely big enough tub behind you.

You're comfortably leaning against his front, very obviously not shy about this at all- and in a way, oddly enough, it seems to rub off on him, as he feels himself relax with you so close. "I want to move into an apartment with a bathtub one day." You giggle randomly.

"Does yours not have one?" He asks, and you shake your head.

"No, it's too small for one." You deny. "Does yours?" You ask, and he hums his answer.

"It.. I have both. One guest bathroom with a shower. The main one has a tub." He explains to you. "Maybe.. you could come over someday. See it for yourself." Jungkook chuckles.

"Hm. Maybe. When you want me to." You say.

"I do want you to-" He starts, feeling like he needs to argue- though he's not sure what about.

"I know, but you also don't, and that's fine." You laugh. "I.. you know, I kind of get the vibe from you that.." you start, but drift off.

"..that?" He softly urges, hands now moving underneath the water to find yours to hold.

"..that you're not used to.. you know. People asking for permission. Or just.. I don't know." You shrug. "You're always so surprised whenever I do nothing but simply take your feelings into account. You seem so caught off guard whenever I ask you if you're okay with things." You tell him, and his eyes stare at the slowly disappearing soapy bubbles on the water surface as he begins to think.

It's true that it's not common. He's the man- always has been one, and with that always came the burden of decisions. Evelyn always took the things he did for granted- saw it as something natural. The fact that he provided her with a place to stay, money and security was just a given to her, and so was the fact that whenever she decided where to go for dinner, or what to do on his days off. He always drove her to her appointments, always had to please her, treat her right, because that's always been his role to play.

So, you're right. He's not used to being given a choice, asked for permission, or questioned whether or not he was okay with something. And it's become so normal for him, that he truly believed that that was how things had to be like-

and maybe that's also why he was so hesitant with you. Why he still hesitates.

What if he does something wrong? What if he decides something you don't like? What if he's not what you want him to be?

You want him to be himself. But he's not sure he even knows how to be himself anymore.

"You should.. be more selfish, you know?" You say, voice echoing off the walls a little as you move around in the water. "Then I won't feel so bad every time I want to ask you to do something for me." You laugh, joking- but he catches the hidden words.

"You can ask anything of me." He chuckles. "Trust me, I can make decisions just fine." He reassures you, placing his hands on your shoulders.

"I'm not doubting that!" You laugh. "But just- You're.. really nice, and I'm kind of scared I'll screw this up." You sigh, trying to sit up and lean away from him- but he holds you towards him, keeping you close.

"There's no 'screwing up' for either of us. We might not work out for reasons, but I doubt we'll really.. screw up like you say." He offers kindly. "I kind of.. just want to be with you for the next few days. Nothing more, nothing less."

"In what way?" You almost whisper, and he chuckles against your skin, pressing a kiss to your bare shoulder.

"In whatever way you'd like." He hums against your skin, hands traveling up and down the length of your arms.

"What way would you like?" You ask, and he leans his head a little to rest his face in the crook of your neck.

"Right now.. exactly this." He sighs out. "I'm enjoying this a lot." He reveals, and at that, you lean back into him, and you can feel the way his lips twist into a smile against your skin.

"Is.. what made you fall in love with uhm.. Evelyn was it, right?" You ask, and he nods.

"I'm not sure." He admits. "She was pretty. She liked me, or at least that's what she told me- asked me out one night, and I just said yes because why not?" He shrugs, water sloshing around a bit at that movement. "I didn't.. have much interest in her back then, but I felt like it could just.. grow down the line."

"I mean, she's still pretty from what I could tell." You giggle, though he shakes his head. "No?" You wonder, and again, he shakes.

"Not anymore." He denies. Maybe conventionally attractive. Physically." Jungkook sighs. "But inside, she's just.. ugly."

You nod at that. You understand what he means.

"What about Greg?" He wonders, since the situation seems as good as ever to gain some more information on the guy he's never even seen before.

"He was.. or, you know, isn't as tall as you. A bit shorter. Uhm.. harsher facial features." You remember. "He always looked a little intimidating to me. But I thought it was just appearance. He used to be really nice to me, you know?" You explain, before you sigh. "But.. I don't know. Over time, after we started living together, it just went downhill." You explain to the man currently holding you. "There were warning signs before, sure- but I thought he was just stressed."

Jungkook listens, and makes sure you know that he is doing it- though he also provides some slight physical comfort as well.

"I should've left when he started to yell at me. Insult me, you know? But I didn't. I thought, if I was nice enough.." You stare at the bubbles slowly dissolving. "..I thought it would be okay."

"You were in love." He reassures you. "And we do stupid things when we're in love." Jungkook admits, making you nod as you lift your head a little to look at him.

Finally realizing that while his situation might not have been the same-

he still understands. More than anyone else.

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The next day starts rather.. interesting to him.

He's wondering how long it'll take for you to snap- because he's noticed that some of his habits and behaviours are clearly getting onto your nerves. But he's not hiding any of it away- you need to face the truth after all, that he's no angel, and no perfect man without any flaws. He's not sugarcoating things- but you are. And he's waiting for you to drop that façade.

You're never truly relaxing. You act like you are- but he knows you're not.

Meanwhile he's just himself, even exaggerates some of what he knows are his nasty habits- and you're just quietly stepping over his pants thrown in the middle of the floor in the hotel room, though he notices the way your eyes cling to them for a good second. And when you actually trip over them on your way out, it's when you finally decide to speak up. "Jungkook?" You ask, and he hums, lifting his head from his phone to look at you. "Can you.. could you maybe try and I don't know.. put your clothes in one place only?" You ask, meekly, and that's when he notices something important. When he realizes something.

You seem awfully.. wary saying that. Almost fearful.

Oh.

"Of course." He nods, getting up to put them away- and your reaction to that, is that just instantly fall into apologizing for your words- as if what you said could've insulted him in some way.

"It's just that you could lose something you know?" You hum, wringing your hands anxiously. "And maybe you trip too and-"

"It's fine, really." Jungkook reassures you after dropping his pants and shirt that's been laying around in his still opened travel bag, now turning towards you. "Come here." He sighs, and you do, walking close to him until he pulls you in and hugs you. "I'm not mad." He offers, and from the way you tense up, he realizes he's hit the nail on the head. "I'll never be mad- never like that. I can promise you that much."

"I'm sorry." You apologize. "I know you're not like that-"

"But it's a habit, I get it." He offers, before he lets you go to look at you properly. "I can imagine why you feel like you have to apologize right now- but there's no need to pacify me." He tells you. “I’m not angry.”

"I know. I'm sorry- I never thought you were like that either." You sigh.

“Small steps.” He chuckles. “We’ve got time.” he reassures. “Let’s go out and see if we can find a restaurant we want to eat at, hm? Something casual.” He teases lightly, making you nod.

Just like he said- it’s a habit.

You’re so used to having to justify your actions, having to apologize for everything, having to just suck it up and get over it that it’ll be probably a long road until you’re truly free again. Does he want to deal with that? Maybe not, maybe he’s just too nice to say it right now because you’re.. well, stuck together in this hotel on this trip together for a few more days to come, since he ended up making an entire week out of the three day trip. Maybe he just doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable, because he’s just a nice guy like that.

“Hey.” He rips you out of your thoughts. “let’s order room service instead.” He offers, and you’re confused.

“But you wanted to eat out?” You wonder. “and.. we’re wasting an entire day by staying inside-“

“We’re not wasting anything.” He chuckles. “I went on this trip with you to spend time with you. Which is what I’m doing right now.” He offers you, pulling your hands to have you close as he sits on the edge of the bed you both share. “you’re getting stressed. Tell me how I can help you.” He asks gently, as you sit on his thighs, unsure.

You don’t know why you’re so on edge today. You can’t turn it off.

“it just feels like.. any second now, something might happen.” You sigh, playing with the buttons on his shirt. “I’m not used to things being so.. okay.”

“I understand that.” He nods. “you’ll get used to it in the future, I promise.” Jungkook makes sure to tell you, before he takes your hands again. “can I.. ask you something? And please don’t.. I’m not going to say the things I’ll say because something is wrong with you or anything.” He says, and you nod for him to go on. “have you considered.. talking to someone about your past experiences? Someone professional?” He wonders, but you shake your head.

“I feel like.. it wasn’t bad enough to really go to therapy for it. Lots of people go through tough times like that, and they manage just fine.” You shrug. “I’m just being dramatic about it. Like you said, I’ll get used to it with time.” You defend yourself by instinct.

“You’ve been through something traumatic. There’s no.. threshold of how bad something needs to be to be able to seek out help.” He explains with a gentle tone of voice. “I’m not going to force you, obviously. But just so you know, your pain isn’t invalid just because others had it worse.” He says. “Think about it, at some point. Doesn’t have to be right now.”

“I’ll.. keep it in mind.” You nod. “thank you.” You offer him, and he nods as well.

“Nothing to thank me for.”

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Jungkook is agitated.

He’s been silent for a bit now, desperately searching for a spot to charge the electric rental car at- but all he finds are either in use or out of order. It’s raining too, meaning there’s not really anything you both could do other than just drive back to the hotel- but this charging spot has to work now, or the car won’t make it back.

Everything is just going wrong.

From the restaurant reservation somehow getting mixed up, to his phone constantly ringing because people won’t let him have his days off- poor device slipping out his hand at some point as he’d wanted to take it out the pocket of his pants, clattering to the ground, screen cracked in several places. Then, he’s informed of something urgent at work- he’s needed back earlier than he wanted to take time off for, meaning you’ll have to pack your things tonight already to fly back home by tomorrow morning.

And now, as he gets out wordlessly to take the charger from the station, he reaches his breaking point.

“fucking hell!” He barks out as he’s back inside the car, hand hitting the steering wheel once as the car denies any further distance. And he’s got tunnel vision too- not noticing the way you instinctively flinch next to him.

But it’s just a habit of your body. Your mind knows that Jungkook’s anger doesn’t work like you’re used to.

He’s on the phone, talking to a coworker when you take the chance to undo your seatbelt, before you open the door. His hand reaches out, softly holding your coat to send you an confused glance- worried even that he might’ve caused you distress. But you give him a smile in return, and get out to walk into the gas station, finding an employee.

“Sorry- I was just wondering.. the charging station outside doesn’t seem to work?” You ask, and the man behind the counter nods.

“Oh? Yeah it does it sometimes. Let me come check it, it’ll probably just need a restart.” The man shrugs, taking some keys with him before he walks back out with you trailing after him. “Ah yeah, stupid thing got a little crazy again. Go sit inside though, you’ll catch a cold!” He laughs, waving you towards the car standing in front of the little station. “let me know when it starts charging.”

You instead walk to open the trunk however, fetching an umbrella instead to hold over the man’s head- something he laughs at but thanks you for either way as he taps around on the panel.

Jungkook watches from inside, using this moment to calm down again.

He didn’t think at all. Did he scare you? Probably, considering he can be quite scary to other people as well if he gets frustrated like this. He hates how things like these just bubble beneath his skin all day until it boils over- especially considering that he’s been so eager to make sure that you know he’s not one to get angry easily. And yet here he is, having just yelled at a car for not working.

Maybe he’s not the right person for you after all. You need someone calm and collected, not someone like him.

Suddenly, the car chimes up, telling him it’s finally starting to charge- and outside, you’re thanking the man with the thick grey beard with a grateful smile, one he returns just as warmly before he walks back into the gas station with you. And when you emerge back out, you’re holding two cups of coffee to go- rain soaking your hair as you hold the closed umbrella beneath your arm.

Inside the car again, you offer one of the cups towards him as if nothing happened. “I didn’t know if.. you liked sugar or creamer with yours.” You say. “so I brought some of both.” You say, putting the little packages of sugar and creamer on the mid console- where his hand suddenly finds yours, silver rings catching your attention for a second.

“I’m sorry for earlier.” He apologizes, fingers tracing your cooled down hand that holds your own cup of hot liquid. “I didn’t mean to get so riled up.”

“You’re stressed.” You shrug. “Its understandable. Just.. maybe take a moment to calm down right now?” You offer, and he nods, a soft smile on his lips.

“thank you.” He says, before you nod and reach for the sugar packages to dump some into what he realizes is tea.

“The car is really quiet when it drives.” You say, and he nods, taking a sip from his coffee.

“It makes no sound.” He confirms. “the most you hear.. are really just the wheels on the road. The engine isn’t loud at all.” He explains.

“so when we drive fast it’s not the engine getting louder?” You ask, and he shakes his head.

“No. It’s all just friction, and the air passing over the car.” He tells you.

“Its kind of funny how far we’ve come.” You say, slipping out of your shoes to get comfortable in your seat, rain falling onto the roof of the car. “like, we have cars that we can just.. charge like phones. It feels weird.” You giggle, resting your head against the seat, while your back leans against the door.

“Do you have a driver’s license?” He asks, and you shake your head.

“I’m too scared to drive.” You deny. “I couldn’t handle memorizing all the rules and keeping them in mind at all times. I rather.. like being the passenger.” You nod. “you drive really well. I’d sleep if we went on a road trip.” You say, and he smiles.

“I take that as a compliment.” He tells you, and you nod.

“It was meant to be one.” You affirm. “earlier.. it was funny.” You say, suddenly not looking at anything- and he knows what you mean by ‘earlier’. “it’s like.. my body still reacts the same, but my head knows there’s no danger.” You explain. “they’re.. detached, in a way.”

“I’m really sorry I lashed out like that.” He apologizes again.

“don’t be.” You shake your head. “I need to face those situations too. There’s.. no use in wrapping me in bubble wrap. After all, you wanted to see if I can handle you, right?” You ask, and he nods. “See? I think my mind can. My body might not to some degree.”

“we can work on that.” He gently offers. “your.. body will learn too. I want you to heal with me.” He says, and you nod.

“I want that too.” You say. “I want you to heal with me too, even if all I can offer is just.. well, nothing.” You laugh, but he shakes his head.

“You offer me this.” He explains, eyes watching you as his hand reaches out to tuck some of your hair behind your ear. “you offer me a break. A.. moment to calm down, like you said.” He reminds you of your words.

“if that’s what you need, I can be just that.” You say, and he nods.

“I couldn’t ask for more.”

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You’re late, but he can’t bring himself to care.

He’d told himself to wait and not really indulge in any of this as long as you both don’t really know for sure where you want to take this- but you’re like a drug he can’t help but fall back on, a habit he can’t shake off. And it all happened so naturally, no words spoken as you both simply understood what the other was craving.

Right now, everything is slow. You’re not even really undressed, him having kicked off his underwear beneath the covers, having had to somewhat get up and pull his travel bag closer to find a condom in there he had packed just in case, even though he did not plan for this.

It should have been his moment of realization. But he just couldn’t hold himself back after the lazy, but warm and almost comforting foreplay you two had indulged in after just having woken up, barely conscious.

Your shirt is simply pushed up to reveal your naked skin beneath, and his hands are slow as they tug your underwear down your legs, sticky with your arousal from the earlier pleasure he’d brought you with nothing but his hand. You’re so warm from sleeping so close to him underneath the blanket you shared, eyes closed as you enjoy his offering of affection to you, kissing up your neck as he positions himself above you.

There’s still no need for words. And he also fears that any sentence uttered by him could shatter this delicate moment between the two of you.

Even though you should’ve woken up an hour ago, making you terribly late now, he just has to have this right now. It’s not just sex, and he hopes it’s not just that to you either- because this feels like a soft confession that’s not done in words, but actions instead. You really do offer him a feeling of weightlessness, as if time doesn’t exist, and no one expects anything of him. You just take him as he is, no questions asked.

Maybe you’re this timeless because it doesn’t matter to you yet, considering the difference in age between you two. Should he feel bad about it then?

Possibly. But then again, just like he’s using you to escape his own responsibilities and the pressure of his life, you’re using him just as much for a stable person to hold onto and rely on. And he’s fine with that. A good, healthy relationship should always have a balanced exchange. Give and take in equal amounts. Will this all become a problem in the future? Will you one day realize that he’s not able to offer you all the experiences you should have made in your twenties?

Maybe. But even so, he realizes you’re right. It still wouldn’t be wasted time, if it’s spent with you.

So what if he has to book and pay for another flight because you’ll surely miss the one he chose last night? He really couldn’t care less, because there’s no way he’s going to rush this. It’s the first chance at proper sex with you, finally a moment where he can give you actual attention as you deserve, not some quick fuck in the car or random blowjob on your couch. This isn’t just to satisfy your urges.

This is a chance for him to show you love.

And it’s clear that this is new to you- because you’re restless, as if you’re constantly expecting him to change pace, go faster, begin to rush towards his own pleasure. But he doesn’t, because that’s not his goal at all. His actual goal is to somewhat prove a point to you- that what he’s offering is not what you’re used to, in no way. He doesn’t see you as someone replaceable, someone who just has to be there, who has to listen to his every demand and do exactly as he says.

No- he wants you to be yourself. He wants you to gain back that autonomy you rightfully deserve.

Because one of the biggest things he noticed is how you constantly seem to live in a state of trying to pacify him at all times. As if you have to make sure he’s always happy and content with decisions made and words said, and he wonders just how bad your past relationship must’ve been to cause you to develop such behavior. So right now, he’s attempting to show you that he’s quite honestly the most calm around you anyways, even if you don’t do anything at all but exist alongside him.

That’s enough already. He doesn’t need anything special from you, but yourself.

Do you feel it? The way he’s pushing himself inside you isn’t an act of pure lust, but an attempt to connect with you, oddly enough. Jungkook has never seen sex as just that- but he has to admit that with Evelyn, the act had lost it’s appeal to him over time, mostly because he both knew that she was seeking out other people’s company aside from his own, and also because it just felt empty and unfulfilling to him. There was nothing to be gained from it, not for him at least- it only made him feel dirty and used, and towards the end of his relationship with her, he couldn’t bare to really let her touch him any longer.

No matter what intention she had.

But right now, with you, he’s feeling something- an urge he’s not felt in a long time, an excitement for possibilities and an eagerness to explore. And right now, he wants to take his time, watch you squirm beneath him, maybe even push you towards the limit of your patience. Will you beg?

Why does that sound so arousing to him?

He’s curious to know what you enjoy, what you want to explore, what you think about when you feel that specific need. He wants to ask what it was like before, has so many questions- but he also doesn’t want to speak right now, feels like this is neither the place nor perfect time to have a conversation like this. So instead, he just does what feels right-

And judging by the way you sigh and reach out to touch him as well, it appears to be exactly what you like as well.

Though he can also spot that impatience of yours growing, his smile not possible to be hidden as he rests his forehead in the crook of your neck, simply enjoying the closeness of it all as his hands run up and down over your body, exploring what he’s already seen before by now. But it doesn’t get old, doesn’t get boring- it never will be, most likely. He doesn’t know how long this will last, how long you’ll stay with him, or how long he’ll stay with you- but he wouldn’t mind to have you at his side long term, he knows that much.

Or at least, he wants to try and make this permanent.

Your legs wrap around his waist, clearly a sign of your dissatisfaction with the way he only occasionally actually moves, if anything, this all could count more as cockwarming than anything else. And now’s the time he has to break his silence, as he chuckles against your skin, placing faint barely felt kisses against the side of your neck. “What’s wrong, darling?” He purrs almost, while your hands move to rest on his shoulders.

“Move.!” You complain, and he loves the demand so much. Not because he wants to go faster, but because you demand anything at all- something you should do more often. Maybe this is his way to go, moving forward. Maybe he could fuck some confidence into you.

He surely wouldn’t mind doing it that way.

“I am moving.” He teases, his low tone still raspy from lack of use during sleep causing your core to clench around him.

“Our flight..” You mumble, fingers running over the back of his neck, causing him to involuntarily shiver.

“I’ll book a different one later.” He denies, adjusting his position a little, pressing himelf as deep as he can inside you, leaning back to have his hands on your thighs, fingers running over the warm skin.

“But that’s wasted money..” You say, unable to really resist his touch however, your arguing weak in nature and delivery. “And you’re needed back at work..”

“I’m needed here, right now.” He instead teases, using your legs to pull you closer, slowly starting to thrust, your chest swaying alongside the pace he sets. “By someone I find way more important than work.”

“But-” You start, but he decides to play dirty now, delivering a particularly hard thrust to shut you up or at least give him the chance to speak before you can finish your sentence.

“You’re important.” He simply chuckles. “Right now, and afterwards, too.” He makes sure to tell you, before he leans over again, faces close. “Can I kiss you?” He wonders, eyes falling to your lips for just a second. “You can say no. I won’t be upset at it.”

But you nod. “I want you to.” You say, for a second questioning if your words might’ve been too demanding- but it doesn’t appear to be the case, as he leans in to catch your lips, first kiss between you both passionate and warm- not hot, nowhere near burning. It’s like a promise, a silent gesture of devotion from him, an offering of his to show that he’s actually taking this seriously.

He’s in it now. This is no longer just playing around.

He’s not going to tell you he loves you- because he’s not there yet, and he knows neither are you. But he truly believes that these feelings can grow if he nurtures them well, and if you accept them and let him plant them in your heart. He wants the vines of what might grow to connect you both, because that’s what you both deserve.

He knows his own worth. And he wants you to know yours, too.

His lip piercings are a little foreign, but in a way, they make it a unique experience to you. Or maybe it’s the sincerity he has in his actions, the way he treats you, the fact that he pays so much attention to you as well during this whole thing. You’re not used to this. He doesn’t seem to expect anything of you, and it makes you a bit anxious.

But even that, he notices.

“Let go, darling.” He chuckles against your lips, barely apart from you. “I’ll take care of you.”

“But shouldn’t you be taken care of too?” You worry, and he just smiles.

“This is more than enough for me, trust me.” Jungkook responds, moving a bit faster now. “I just want you.” He tells you, and you're sure he doesn’t know the weight of that statement.

Or how long you’ve waited for someone to say it like that.

Because even though it’s said right now, during the act, but it’s not actually sexually charged. It’s not said in the context of ‘I want you right now’- but it’s more generalized. He wants you.. In general. Not just in this moment, or for this specific action.

So when you simply trust yourself in the heat of the moment, turning the tables or more so positions, you feel a strange sense of confidence as you now ride him, his hands on your hips taken by yours, fingers intertwining while he watches you for a moment, clearly fighting the urge to just relax and close his eyes, sight of you too pretty to miss. But he can’t help it, leans his head back into the pillows with a lazy smirk on his lips, pulling you closer to wrap his arms around you, slow pace all you both need as you push each other over the edge, coming undone at different times- but still, that doesn’t make the moment any less meaningful.

He keeps you in this position for a moment while he spills into the condom inside of you, not utterly exhausted, but entirely satisfied nonetheless. He feels nice, like his mind and body have been reset, truly giving him a fresh start to the day as he finally opens his eyes after bathing in his own afterglow.

A glance to the side offers him the time. Your flight has left almost half an hour ago by now.

“We missed it.” You mumble sleepily, and he nods, before he playfully manhandles you around to lay on your back on the bed again, pulling your shirt over your head. “Jungkook!” You laugh, and he chuckles along, attacking your shoulder and neck with kisses and even bites, visibly energized now.

“Good.” He purrs against your skin. “Up for a round two?”

⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──💜── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅

You feel a bit embarrassed.

You’ve been home for two days now, and you miss him. Terribly so. Even though you try and occupy yourself with work, your mind keeps going back to the time spent with him, and you’re conflicted. Should you reach out? Text him? He told you he wouldn’t mind, but he also seemed a little stressed about work, so you probably shouldn’t bother him.

Maybe you could ask Tae?

But he doesn’t really give you an answer, somehow sounding oddly reluctant even to just talk about his friend in any way, and it makes you suspicious. So today, you finally jump over your shadow, and text him- just to get no reply for hours. It’s not until later that day that you receive a phone call instead- his voice sounding tired. “I’m sorry I’ve been silent.” He simply says, and you’re immediately alarmed.

“What’s that noise in the background?” You want to know, because it sounds very much like something you’re very much familiar with. And with the way he dodges an answer by sighing first, you just know what’s going on. “Which hospital are you in? Do you need anything?” You rant. “What even happened?”

“Nothing happened-” He quietly argues, sounding awfully like a scolded child almost, but you cut him off.

“Well something clearly happened for you to be in hospital!” You argue, before you calm down. “I’m sorry, I just-”

But Jungkook reassures you as always, giving you the name of the hospital he’s staying at, as well as the room he’s in, so you can visit him. And the moment you walk in with some snacks approved by the doctors, you feel like you’re the one in need of medical attention.

“What happened?” You weakly ask, carefully sitting down next to his bed where he’s in, a hand running over his face, careful not to twist the delicate tubes connected to the needle in his arm.

“Just an accident.” He says, though he’s not looking at you- and it makes you anxious.

“What accident?” You ask, and when he doesn’t answer, you press on, unable to keep your emotions in check properly. “Jungkook please. You said we should be honest-” You softly say, and he sighs, licking his lips.

“I.. Fell asleep.” He mumbles quietly. “While driving to a meeting. I was late, and it was.. Just for a split second- and suddenly it all went to shit.” He explains. “I was- the road was empty. And it was so fucking late, I- don't know what I was thinking.”

It’s quiet after that, apart from staff and visitors moving outside in the hall, barely heard through the closed door, but the machine that’s keeping close measurement of his vitals occasionally makes a sound.

Jungkook barely manages to look at you, and when he does, he’s not sure what that expression on your face means. You’re looking at a nasty bruise on his wrist, face unreadable, before you eventually speak again.

“Jungkook.” You say his name, and your voice is bone chillingly serious, demanding his full attention.

“Don’t you ever do that again.”

Your words are heavy, full of emotion and yet delivered in a monotone anger that makes him realize the gravity of the situation. He’s lucky he didn’t hit anyone in that tiny second, should be forever grateful nothing major happened at all except for his car getting crashed beyond repair.

“I’m sorry-” He begins, but you shake your head, speaking after you take a deep breath as if to collect yourself.

“No, I don’t want an apology.” You deny. “You can’t do this.” You say, and he’s a bit unsure what you mean, when you turn to look at him with glossy eyes. “You can’t make me get attached just to... pull something like this.” You say. “That’s cruel, Jungkook. You could’ve killed someone.” You tell him, and he nods, quietly. “Get a cab next time, or have someone drive you, fuck I don’t care!” You become a bit louder now. “But you can’t do this. You can’t be this selfish.” Is your response, as you finally properly look at him, close to tears. “I’m starting to need you, Jungkook.” You confess.

“You can’t leave me alone like that.”

And at the first tear falling, he chooses to ignore his physical pain, to move over a little and have you sit on the side of his bed, clinging to him as the full force of it all hits you, arms reaching out for him, grabbing hard at the hospital gown he’s in, desperate to hold him.

As if you need to know he’s still there, that he’ll be fine.

“I’ll make sure to rest properly from now on.” He promises, hand that’s not hooked up to anything running over your back as you cry into his chest. “I’ll take better care of myself. I promise.” He tells you, and you nod, though you stay close.

It takes a good moment for you to calm down again, and when you are, he uses that energy you both have now to dig a little deeper.

“I’m sorry I didn’t reach out, by the way.” He tells you, and you shrug. “No, I mean it. There’s no excuse for it.”

“You were busy.” You mumble, but he shakes his head.

“Doesn’t matter.” He denies. “I’ll make more time for you. I need to rest anyways, and even after I’m healed, I should take a step back in general. Like I said-” He offers, wincing a bit when a movement causes him pain. “-I have to take better care of myself. For you.”

“I’m sorry.” You mumble, detaching yourself a little from him again as you sit up, feet dangling off the edge of the bed. “I’m getting clingy already-”

“No, please.” He encourages, giving you a soft smile. “Be clingy. I promise you, I’m just.. It's just a bit odd to me at the moment.” Jungkook reveals. “I’ve not had someone care for me in such a way in.. A while.” Or ever, he wants to actually say- but he doesn’t want to put so much pressure on you.

He can leave those big confessions to a later date.

“Should I.. do you need help at home once you get out of here?” You wonder. “I could help you? Or, maybe you can.. I don’t know-”

“I’d really appreciate your company.” He smiles. “And your help too. But mostly your company.” Jungkook teases, making you laugh in relief.

Not just because he clearly looks worse than it actually is-

But also because his smile looks oddly youthful- and most of all, truly genuine.

#bts imagine #bts fanfic #bts fic #jungkook imagine #jeon jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook imagine #bts smut #bts jungkook imagine #bts jungkook fanfic #bts jungkook x reader #jungkook smut #jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook imagines #jungkook imagines #jeon jungkook smut #jeon jungkook x you #jeon jungkook fanfic

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rey-jake-therapist · 2 months ago

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Sauron, Galadriel and touch

Each time we see Sauron hug someone, touch their arms or their hair, put his arms around their shoulders etc. it's never gratuitous. He always has an agenda. He does that to manipulate them in a way or another, or to steal them something. He isn't a touchy type of guy, really.. I think he probably dislikes it, most of the time.

In Elendil's case, he probably didn't just pickpocket him but used some magic trick as well, because there's no way Elendil wouldn't have noticed. Not to mention that the dagger literally disappeared from Halbrand's hands up until he gave it back to Galadriel. Anyway, he still hugged Elendil to distract him from what was happening. There was not a bit of sincerity in that move.

Later, he put his hand on the smith's shoulder in an attempt to convince him to take him at his service. It was meant to be a reassuring gesture : "trust me bro, I'm the best !"

In this case, it was slightly different :

Sauron did that to steal Tamar's guild crest, so the intention was similar to when he hugged Elendil. But this time, he didn't do it discreetly. We know now that even as Halbrand (so not in full possession of the powers he had as Annatar), he was able to make his blood look red; so he could have easily projected the image of the guild's crest on Tamar's tunique, to make him think it was still there.

But see, Tamar offended him. He recalled him that Galadriel would probably never want him (though not because he was a "low man", but because he was the very evil she sought to destroy), and Sauron didn't like that. So what he did was provoking Tamar by stealing his crest in plain sight, so Tamar would follow him and give him the excuse he waited for, to do that :

We can also count that as touching, I guess ? But tell me again that Sauron wasn't interested in Galadriel romantically... It makes total sense for him to lose his shit because some man implied he wasn't good enough for her, right...

(I'll later write another meta about the few times that Sauron loses control. It doesn't happen often, but when it does, it's hot terrifying).

In season 2, I think we saw him touch Mirdania twice, and maybe once for Celebrimbor ? Though I can't find a gif of Sauron touching him except when he grabbed him at the end, so I'm not sure about that.

I've already discussed several times, including today, how Mirdania was a stand-in for Galadriel, so I won't go back to that here. Sauron doesn't feel any affection for Mirdania: wether he touches her hair and hand to manipulate her, or because she reminds him of Galadriel, or most likely, for both, it is, again, not gratuitous and not genuine.

And as for being touched... Oh boy, he doesn't like that at all. His reaction is most of the time him pulling a disgusted "how dare you touching me, you miserable worm ?" face.

This scene in particular was hilarious in this regard. He was very upset by Celebrimbor's refusal to forge rings for men, and Celebrimbor unwillingly added to the offence by giving him a condescending pat on the arm. Sauron probably had a hard time refraining the urge to murder Celebrimbor on the spot, here.

The Galadriel Case

Her case is special, as usual. Until episode 8, Sauron never touches her without her consent : after they arrive in Numenor, he invites it, but doesn't force it on her. it's supposed to be a "friendly" handshake symbolizing peace and a mean to give her Finrod's dagger back, but, well, hmm...

It's just straight out flirting. The way he looks straight into her eyes while pulling her to him, his weird conception of personal space... I can't NOT tag @apoloadonisandnarcissus 's thread about the Freudian symbolism in Haladriel interactions... It's worth reading. There was nothing friendly/platonic in his behavior, but, again... no unnecessary touching here.

Galadriel remains equally guarded towards him, even after she spends time with him and considers him as a "friend". As Sauron in episode 3, she only invites it, on the boat that takes them to the Southlands.

Even when she gives him back his pouch, in the forge, she does it in a way that her fingers barely touch his.

When she finds him wounded, she touches him where he's wounded, to check how serious it is. She could take his hand to comfort him, but.... Nope.

And yet, she's not usually that guarded with her friends, those with whom she shares a (truly) platonic relationship with, as we can see with Elrond and Arondir.

It's definitely not because she doesn't trust Halbrand/Sauron. She does, or she wouldn't be that heartbroken over him in season 2. No, I think she keeps him at arm's length because what she feels for him is not platonic at all, and she wants to keep her feelings in check. Keeping her distance with him (physically) is the way for her to do that, or so she thinks.

Now, back to Sauron. While during all season 1 he was never touchy with Galadriel, in episode 8, he suddenly is.

Not only that but he's also very flirtatious, like... more than usual.

Galadriel seems surprised with this unsolicited touching, and iffy, because she doesn't trust him anymore. She has just asked one of her fellow Elves to look in the catacombs of Eregion for everything they had about the Southlands and their royal lineage; after she heard Celebrimbor talk about "power over flesh" and seen Sauron enthusiastically offer his aid to the smith, she starts suspecting that Halbrand may be not who he claims to be.

Coincidence ? I think not. Even if she remained discreet, Sauron probably felt that something was off. He's very observant, and he knows her mind. If she changed of attitude with him, if she seemed even a little bit wary of him, there's no doubt he noticed it.

He certainly planned to tell her the truth about him very soon, at that point, but he also wants the rings to be forged so he could show her what they'd do with them. So this, imho, is Sauron buying time. He knows she's attracted to him, he may even know she's in love with him... I think he's trying to breach her defenses, here.

Did he succeed, even for the few weeks that separated this scene from the Sauron revelation ? That, we don't know. I'd say probably not, because just before the Elf brought her the records she asked for, she doesn't look like someone who trusts him again.

But then she's still in denial about him even after he admits he isn't the king of the Southlands, going as far as claiming he convinced Miriel to go help the Southlands, while it was her idea entirely... So who knows what happened during these three weeks. It's also possible she didn't suspect him to be Sauron, of all people. And anyways, she loves him. She definitely hoped till he revealed himself that he had a good explanation for everything.

Yesterday I published this post very late, and it's only this morning that I realized I omitted to mention a couple of other very important touches... Stupid me.

How could I forget the chin grab ?

We're in full "unsolicited touching" territory here. Personal boundaries be damned ! The chin grab has several connotations here : it's coded as romantic, but it's also an act of dominance and control, though there's no brutality at all in his gesture. Sauron wants Galadriel to look at him, aka to face the truth : he's still the man she loves, but he's also the monster she hates. They both coexist, in him, hence why the claims that "Halbrand never existed" or "Galadriel loved Halbrand but doesn't love Sauron" are both nonsenses and a complete misunderstanding of the season 1 finals. Galadriel knows who he is in this scene, and yet she's tempted.

The act of grabbing the chin is in itself controlling/dominating, but there's also tenderness : he's gentle, he caresses her cheek almost shyly; he wants her trust for Halbrand back, not her fear of Sauron. He wants to show her that she's loved, but you can feel that if she asked him to take his hand off her, he would back off.

Finally, this post ends with Sauron taking Galadriel's hands into his, with her holding Finrod's dagger.

You know, what he did with Morgoth's crown in season 2, binding her to him through a forced blood oath ? He wanted to do almost exactly that in season 1 already, and that's what this scene implies. Except in this scenario, Galadriel would have been ok with it: it would haven't been a metaphorical rape, but the closest to a consensual sex scene we'd have gotten in this show, if they had followed this route.

I'm not saying I wanted this, just to be clear: Galadriel was tempted to join Sauron in this scene, but it would have been a major breach to the LOTR lore if she had. "Touching the darkness", in Finrod's and Galadriel's minds, was never about embracing it wholeheartedly. It was precisely where Galadriel and Sauron's visions diverge. She knows it will never be the way. She knows she'd end up being a tyrant if she succombed to the temptation, and that's why she rejected it, and Sauron with it.

#sauron #annatar #mirdania #celebrimbor #galadriel #haladriel #saurondriel #sauron meta #trop meta #the rings of power #trop

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viburnt · 1 year ago

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Divorcing Izuku Midoriya Headcanons

I'm on a creative rush, and this may make zero sense because I'm tired lmao. Anyways, have some angst <3

Tagging the babes: @doumadono @shonen-brainrot @trickster-kat @angelshimaa (babe, you've missed some very angsty posts) @xhieru @mimisxs @dabislittlemouse

Content Warning: Divorce, emotional abuse and manipulation, mention of baby-trapping, alcohol.

• As I said in my last post, divorcing Izuku is a nightmare. Think about the most energy-draining and mental health deteriorating process, and multiply it for a minimum of 6 months. Izuku won't make things easy for you at all, trying to drag and prolong the whole ordeal just to keep you close. I've divided this set of headcanons by key moments/topics to keep some order. I hope you enjoy them, I'm pouring my heart on these (also pay attention to detail because I'm working on something hehe).

Denial and confusion: the first days after you serve him papers

• Izuku genuinely doesn't understand why you want to leave, refusing to accept the fact that you're not happy being by his side. He's given you all there is to give: a comfortable house, nice clothes, expensive cars, etc. So when you serve him papers, Izuku's first reaction is confusion followed by fear. In that head of his, he's made everything a good husband has to do! So why? Why would you not be happy?

• If you were smart enough and planned your movements with care, you should be able to go through your divorce without depending financially on Izuku or having to live in the same place. You'd have to deal with his incessant calls and texts, often having to block unknown numbers to avoid hearing his whines, but it'd be less difficult. If you weren't thoughtful about the situation and proceeded without the right steps, oh, you're in for a treat: there's nowhere you can go besides the house you shared with him, no place where you can be at peace. You're at Izuku's mercy, like it or not, but that's another story.

• In addition to his denial, Izuku starts to (unconsciously) guilt trip you. Phrases like "Sorry for not being enough," and "I know I'm very pathetic" become frequent. It pains your heart to hear those things because you know Izuku loves you, you are just not compatible at all. You try to let him see it's not about being enough, it's more about effort; with much patience, you set things clear to avoid any misunderstandings, but Izuku just doesn't get it.

• "Haven't I done this or that for you? Didn't I buy you all these things? Am I not enough?" "Izuku, I didn't ask you for any of this, all I wanted was my husband..." Conversations like this occur during this phase, and they can only be held through the phone (when he is sober and not yelling/hollering how much of a mistake a divorce would be). He tries to gauge sympathy from you, telling you that his job is important but that he loves you so much!

• He becomes an empty shell of the bright ray of sunshine the public knew. It goes unnoticed by many, but the people who work around him can tell. It is then when he starts telling others about his marital situation, and you end up seeing faces you've met once or twice during galas or hero events. You "accidentally" stumble across your husband's colleagues, like Ochako, who try to convince you to give him a second chance. "I- I know we don't know each other a lot but please, consider it. Izuku is a great guy a-and I'm sure you guys could fix any problem!" It is embarrassing for you because no one wants people to know their issues.

• What's so ironic about the moment when you serve him papers is that he receives them at his office, the very root of all the problems in your marriage. It was the place where he had spent anniversaries, birthdays, Valentine's... those four walls witnessed the beginning and the end of your relationship. Izuku has a mental breakdown when he finally reads the documents but, hey, he was still pro-hero Deku, right?

Negotiations and lawyers: The first weeks and months

• If having to deal with Izuku's colleagues trying to change your mind wasn't enough, be ready for your soon-to-be ex trying to negotiate. Midoriya suggests couple's therapy to talk this through, and for a split of second, it almost sounds like a good idea! But then you remember all those times when Izuku had promised you he'd be there for you and failed. It didn't seem plausible after that... Besides, all things considered, it'd be hard to find a therapist who could see your side of the story. Who would dare to tell someone as charming and popular as Izuku that he failed as a husband?

• Once therapy is off the table, Izuku brings up children. It may be considered a low blow, especially if one of your dreams was to form a family with him, so his offer felt cruel. "W-we can have kids! Wouldn't you want that? We can be a big family, with one- No, two babies!" "Ouch, it takes a divorce for you to even think about it, huh? That's uh, slightly concerning. Besides, a kid needs a father too... I'm not planning on being a single mom in this marriage" Now, Izuku strikes me as the kind that would try to . to stay. I'm sorry if it sounds terrible, but considering how sometimes he acts on impulse, he really could try it.

• Izuku also tries to be at home more often; he "cooks" (it's takeout disguised as home meals), brings you coffee to the bed, and calls you all kinds of sappy nicknames... It saddens you, why couldn't he care like that before? Of course, this point only applies if you still live with him during this whole process. If you don't, he starts frequenting the places where he guessed could find you: cafeterias, plazas, shops...

• Finding a lawyer for you was a hard task, especially because everyone sees you as a "dumb" woman who is trying to divorce Japan's number one hero. Not to mention they were very expensive, and Izuku was certainly not giving you money for that. You tell Izuku that mediations need to happen to progress with the divorce, but he never shows up to the meetings. There's always an excuse for that man! No matter how much you plea, he refuses to sign the paper. Izuku also becomes very mean towards you, outright berating you for not understanding him. It's gruesome to see him turn into such a monster during these months.

• As an additional point for this part, Izuku hires a private investigator to follow you around. He feels bad for thinking of it, but the idea that you could be seeing someone else while you're trying to divorce him eats him alive.

Last resort: Mediatic battle

• The media is very quick to pick up your marriage's fall down. Time after time you visited your lawyer's office for them to put two and two together, and Izuku takes that to his advantage. Sensationalist articles had already been happening, a lot of them being cruel and demeaning towards you. Titles like "Is she a cheater?" "No amount of success gives you the girl!" And "Pro-hero Deku will be looking for a new wife soon" started popping up. You have to take down any social platform to avoid being targeted.

• It is when Izuku gives a public declaration that things get worse. "I'm sorry, my wife is just not happy with me anymore. Please respect her wish! Don't harass her, I failed as a husband." It may seem like a hearty and sorrowful declaration from the outside, but Izuku picked word by word to gain sympathy and pressure you into changing your mind. People in the street call you "heartless", and the stress simply keeps growing for you.

• To put it in simple words, you were David against Goliath, except Goliath was a glorified person who had all the resources and support of the people. You were nothing but a tiny mouse squeaking to be set free of a relationship that was suffocating you.

The aftermath: Supposing you haven't given up and he signed the divorce papers

• If you somehow manage to divorce him after all these problems, congratulations. You survived 5% of the drama that awaits you! Now you won't be able to date someone without people snapping photos for entertainment news or judging you for leaving "such a great man". Izuku will still try to convince you to go back to him, playing his "sad lover" role in front of the cameras so well! He'll try to send expensive gifts and tell you to keep the house, he'll call you drunk in the middle of the night, and if you're not careful enough, he may try to gaslight you into thinking nothing wrong was happening in your marriage.

• One particular thing I must mention is that Izuku only signed the papers after you yelled at him at one of the legal mediations, hot embarrassment tears falling from your tired eyes as you begged him to let you go.

• Anyways, the list could go on, but those are the main points of divorcing Izuku :')

"Please, just sign the papers..." You said through the phone, your voice tired of pleading to someone who simply refused to hear you. "I will, I will! I'm just a little under the snow with work. Can you reschedule?" Izuku said, apologizing for not being there for you. Excusing himself for failing you, but refusing to let go. "You know how many articles I've seen with my face saying how much of bitch I am for visiting my lawyer's office?"

Izuku's silence was deafening, you could only hear him sigh slightly, perhaps feeling bad for putting you in such a position. "I don't want this divorce."

"But I do, so don't make things more difficult for me, please." He heard you say, biting his lip to hold back the tears. Izuku was glad you couldn't see him, sitting alone in his office with a half-empty bottle of wine you'd gifted him for his birthday. "Do you remember what day is today?" He asked.

"I don't know, Monday? I haven't slept lately." You answered unamused. "It's our anniversary... we married 5 years ago, on this very day." His words came out as a slow slur, his breath hitching as he crumbled through the phone. "I miss you a lot, please-"

"I'll see you on Wednesday, if you're not there I swear to God..."

...

"Mr. Midoriya?" Your lawyer called, her voice bringing your anxious husband back to reality. "Ah, sorry, it's me. Is... is she in there?" He asked, pointing at her office. She just looked at him with little sympathy and nodded. "On time, as always. Maybe you should avoid keeping her waiting, that's the least you could considering how many times we've had these conversations."

"There's no way I can fix this, is there?" Izuku asked as if the lawyer cared. "Wanna do something nice for her? Divorce her."

#my hero academia #izuku midoriya x reader #deku x reader #deku angst #izuku midoriya angst #divorced Au! Yeah I think Im gonna make a whole Au #I need a nap #Feedback is appreciated

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mintkookiess · 2 years ago

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It's Always Been Her.

A/N before anything else: Hey there I'm Mint! I finally got the guts to actually post something instead of keeping it in my private blog sue me (╯•﹏•╰)

Felt a bit angsty today and I've been practicing more on my writing so, I decided why not post it

Please also note the characters here are aged up, none are minors, and Miles and our dear lovely fem!reader here are old enough to live together (Feel free to think up what age you want esp since there isn't really an age stated her). Plus, this has only been proof-read like twice and ran through grammarly once, hope it turned out okay still with the grammar and typos ಥ‿ಥ

Anyways enough about that, you can go ahead! Hearts and reblogs are appreciated

(Pls be nice ty)

Love,

Mint

P.S. AO3 saw it first here!

Summary: Y/n finds Miles comforting his ex girlfriend Gwen in their home.

Word count: 2.6k

Tags: Miles Morales x Fem!Reader Slight mention of blood (those are paper cuts I promise), angst (no happy ending babe), heartbreak, cutting up onions .°(ಗ д ಗ。)°.

"Y/n...?" Miles looked as if he had just seen a ghost, "How long have you been—" She hadn’t even realized how she stood by the door, crying with her mouth covered, her other hand clutching her aching chest, until he noticed her.

"Miles..." Y/n managed to choke out, her voice barely a whisper as she looked at her supposed lover Miles, comforting Gwen on the floor of their shared home's living room. Her eyes were filled with absolute sorrow, betrayal, hurt, anger, and anguish all rolled into one. She stood there helplessly, feet seemingly glued to the ground even if her brain has been telling her to run.

But she couldn't seem to look away or move a single inch as the tears continued to flow down like a stream down her cheeks that have turned pale from shock. Miles was rendered speechless, he had never seen Y/n like this, and he hadn't seen her cry much either.

"Y/n..." He said with a weak voice, his voice breaking ever so slightly as he slowly unwrapped his arms from Gwen, standing up to take a step towards her. He knew he should come to her, to hug her, comfort her, tell her it's okay but he couldn't seem to bring himself to do it. His hands trembled as he looked into her eyes. Y/n could see the fear and regret in them.

"What... What are you doing with her?" She croaked, still in a tone that made her voice sound like the harsh cold wind of winter. Y/n had watched Miles comfort Gwen for the past thirty minutes, and all she could do was see how vulnerable they were to each other, how Miles' comforting voice that felt so much like caramel soothed his ex-girlfriend who had been weeping like a deer in his chest.

It was another sense of betrayal and hurt, a whole new level of pain that Y/n couldn't even begin to explain. No words could describe how... broken she felt.

"She's... She's having.." he started, before pausing, trying to configure the right words to say to her—"She's having a hard time right now." He finally finished, his voice sounding weak. All Y/n did was stare right at him, tears still rolling down her eyes.

Seeing her cry made him want to do anything—to hug her, comfort her, and just say “Everything’s fine. I'm sorry, please stop crying, I love you." Miles didn't know what to do, it seemed as if he couldn't stop her from crying and it broke him.

Y/n started to let out small sobs from her lips that had dried and cracked from letting out so many tears. Her hands crept up to her face, trying to see if she could wake up from this dream that's become her new hell.

She was shaking her head slightly, shoulders sagging more and more as she felt all her patience thin out like paper. "You promised... You told me that you don't talk to her anymore." Y/n said slowly, her words slightly muffled from her hands.

Oh, how she tried so hard to not have her voice crack, even though she could hear her heart break into a million pieces per second.

Upon hearing her words, Miles visibly flinched. He looked down at his feet as if he was suddenly ashamed of himself. His head tilted back up to her, his eyes filled with shame. Miles stood there frozen, a few feet away from her, unable to bring himself to approach or move a single inch.

It was as if he wanted to make it up to her, but he was too scared, too fearful of what would happen. "Y/n..." The way he said her name was like it was a silent prayer, a plea. "I'm... sorry..."

After a few more tears, she removed her hands from her face. Her head hung low, but her eyes looked up at Miles with newly found determination and courage but still with a tinge of fear and hurt.

"You still love her."

Her words itself may have downright punched her heart as she could feel it gets beaten up and shatter, falling to the depths of her very soul. She didn't want to utter what she had been thinking since she saw the way Miles comforted Gwen with so much love that she thought was only reserved for her. Y/n feared that once she said it out loud, it would become real.

But deep down she knew that this had become her reality, whether she said it or not.

Miles felt like he was stabbed at every syllable, how deep her words wounded him. Yet he had to admit that the truth in what she said made them all the more gut-wrenching.

He looked away from her, trying to gather some little courage before facing Y/n once more. Miles' brown eyes bore into hers, two pairs of eyes containing remorse, regret, and betrayal. "Yes..." He finally answered, the weight of his guilt dragging every word down with him.

The second he confirmed her statement, it was as if her vision went black. "Thank you... for your honesty." Was all she could say.

Y/n's feet may weigh a thousand pounds right now, but she forced herself, dragging herself out the door. The only thing that she could think of was that she had to get away.

To run.

To hide.

To go to a place where Miles wouldn't find her.

His simple “ yes “ reply was enough to tell her that she was no longer wanted or needed. She felt herself to be a burden, someone holding back Miles from truly loving Gwen. Even though he had made promises to her, that he'd keep his and Y/n's relationship safe and out of harm.

As she started to walk away, Miles' heart severed apart with each step she took. He had never felt so lost, so scared, as he did right now. He hasn't even spared Gwen a glance behind him as he tried to take another step towards the direction Y/n disappeared to.

She walked away from him and he could only watch. All he wanted was to ask her to stay, to forgive him. He didn't want to lose Y/n, but he was too scared to act, fearing that it would make matters worse than it already was.

If that was even possible.

Y/n turned right towards their shared bedroom, her eyes sticking to the ground because she refused to take in the sight of the many pictures of her and Miles scattered around the walls and tables of the bedroom.

She made a beeline to the closet, pulled out luggage, and just threw in all the clothes she owned, every accessory in their shared drawers, and every perfume that decorated the vanity.

Y/n was slowly removing every trace of her in the bedroom.

Once she was done, she zipped the luggage close, and stomped to their framed pictures, their polaroids that were clipped to the walls, everything that had the both of them in it, and started throwing them across the tiled floor. She didn't let out a single scream, letting the picture frames break to make all the noise for her as she couldn't let out any noise.

Every time it shattered against the polished floor, her heart broke along with it.

Y/n continued to break and rip every picture, tears streaming hot down her cheek, dripping off her chin, and staining the dissipated pictures and smashed frames by her feet.

Miles stood there, his heart in his throat, hearing the sounds of glass smashing and wooden picture frames hitting the floor. He didn't move, though it hurt to hear that, and seeing the pictures being destroyed hurt even more.

He knew he should do something, he knew he should call out to her—but he was too much of a coward. He watched her destroy everything that held memories of their now-broken relationship.

Once everything was laid out on the floor either broken or ripped to shreds, Y/n fell to her knees, her hands covered in deep cuts as it started to bleed out from how hard her grip was while smashing the frames and destroying the pictures.

But she could only stare, her soulless eyes glazing over her two hands that had so much resemblance to her emotional and mental state. All wounded and cut up, bleeding for the whole world to see.

Her fingers shook ever so slightly, her perfectly manicured nails were now tinted a crimson shade from her blood, and all she could do was stare.

She didn't even feel any pain.

Miles finally snapped out of it, letting out a pained gasp as he sees her lacerated hands. He knew he had to do something and so he tried to walk to her, taking each step as if they were as heavy as lead weights. "Y/n... please... stop... you've hurt yourself..." He said as tears made their way down his face once again.

It was as if Y/n didn't hear him even though she did. She refused to respond, picking up the little pieces of the pictures she destroyed and examining them with her bloodied hands.

Every picture she saw, each one was of them that stared back at her with wide smiles. So much life, so much love and passion.

Now look at them. Look at how they ended up.

It was so pathetic that she thought it was laughable. How could their picture-perfect relationship turn into something so hideous, so ugly? Her mind was on constant replay of the way Miles' arms were wrapped around Gwen, whispering sweet nothings to her as she cried uncontrollably against him.

"Why did you do this to us Miles? We were doing so good..." She muttered. Y/n's face no longer held any sadness or... Any emotion. She was just there, kneeling on the floor with her cut-up hands and body staying still like she became a doll devoid of feelings.

"Y/n—" He started, his voice quiet and unsure. Miles continued to inch closer and closer to her, though it was clear he did so with caution. "I know that right now it may be hard for you to believe me, but... I'm sorry... I didn't mean for things to go this far I swear..." Miles whispered with quivering lips. He was trying so hard to remain composed, but he could feel his emotions overflow and take over his entire body.

He continued towards her until he was inches in front of Y/n, his heart practically beating out of his chest and with hands that were mad trembling.

"Y/n... Please don't leave me..." His voice convulsed in guilt. Miles knelt to be at her eye level, to beg for her forgiveness. He didn't care that the frame shards were probing his knees. He eyed her injured hands, reaching his hands toward her as if he was trying to stop her from leaving him forever.

But he could sense it. They both could. It was the end for the two of them.

Y/n was too tired, too exhausted to push his hands away. She remained in her spot as she felt walls around herself build-up, her soul fading further away from reality, causing her to be numb. Her eyes drifted to the hands that belonged to him, she couldn't help but remember how these same hands were the place she called her safe space for so many years.

Now, she thinks of it as the hands that had ruined her ruined them.

She sees the hands that had comforted someone who wasn't her, another girl who wasn't even supposed to be in their lives anymore. "Go to her Miles..." She whispered weakly, still refusing to look at him.

Miles' breath hitched, and his face paled at the words that came out of her mouth. "Y/n... no..." he tried to say something, to make her stay, anything. There were so many words on his tongue that he wished to utter out, but he didn't have the courage or strength to say a single one.

He wanted to say how much he loved her, but he knew that Y/n was drifting further away from him with each passing second.

So Miles did the only thing he could and stared at her, with a face frozen with shame and fear.

His words slowly snapped her out of her trance, like a spell that seemed to have awoken her back to reality.

She slowly pushed herself up, wiping down her hands on her skirt to remove the remaining blood that hadn't dried out. Her e/c eyes finally looked down at Miles, kneeling before her.

Y/n felt her blood boil at how pathetic he looked. She wondered how he could look in such a way when he was the one at fault, who practically shredded their relationship into pieces the moment he let Gwen inside their home.

"Go to her Miles," She repeated with a more stern voice. Her breathing started to become heavier with all the anger inside of her threatening to spill over. "That's what you wanted anyway right?" Y/n said a bit louder now. "It's her! It's always been fucking her right?!" She was yelling, each word leaving a strain on her throat and a bad taste on her tongue.

Her hands balled into fists, feeling the sting of her nails digging into her new cuts and wounds but she didn't give two shits about it right now.

The fire in her eyes scared Miles. He started to hyperventilate, his chest tightening and feeling his lungs scream in search of air. Her voice was laced with so much malice and hatred that it scared him. “Y/n, please... I—" His words were getting tangled, and they were sounding more and more like a mess.

"It's always been her. No matter how many fucking times I tried to be perfect for you, to be the best woman for you. It was never fucking enough because I WASN'T HER!" Y/n cried out, her hand clutching her chest so hard that she thought she would dig into her skin and her heart would bleed out.

She was heaving alongside him, their chests rising up and down in sync. Her every word tasted sour to her like each syllable was a dart of poison that was stabbing her insides and gutting her out. Miles flinched as her words pierced through him.

It was his fault, and he knew it. It hurt him to see the person he had come to love, hate him. He knew he deserved the anger, the hate, and he just felt himself hit rock bottom.

How could he do that to her?

To destroy her trust?

Gwen had wanted to talk to him about something and started telling him about her problems. He wanted to be there for her, but not realizing that he was jeopardizing his relationship with Y/n until it was too late. Some of his heart still belonged to Gwen, but god did he wish it didn't.

"Well, you should be fine now though, right? You can go back to her because I'm leaving." Y/n said with a newfound calm tone. She walked past him to grab her luggage, wincing in pain from her wounds as she pulled them out of their bedroom, leaving Miles in the heap of ripped-up pictures and broken frames.

She also walked past Gwen who was sitting silently in the living room.

She tried to approach Y/n, but the wounded girl was quick to walk out the door, slamming it behind her as she disappeared into the night, leaving the place she'd called theirs for the last five years.

But now, it wasn't her home anymore.

Fin.

See more of my Miles content here babes!

(if yall wanna be on my taglist feel free to let me know!)

#miles morales x reader #miles morales x fem!reader #miles morales fanfiction #ATSV fic #ASTV #miles morales x gwen stacy #Miles Morales x Reader #miles morales x y/n #miles g morales #miles morales x you #across the spiderverse #spiderman #miles morales angst

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feroluce · 9 months ago

Text

Lucid Dreamer (1/2)

part 2

Gepard notices that it's been. Quiet lately. Like weirdly quiet. TOO quiet. He hasn't seen Sampo Koski in almost a week, which is about the longest he's ever been absent. And he is NOT worried. He's not! So what if they've been getting along more lately! So what if Gepard sometimes looks for him in his favorite hiding places! So what if he's been dreaming about blue hair and green eyes! It's nothing!!

But they're….strange, these dreams. Gepard doesn't usually remember what he's dreamt. It's out of his mind seconds within waking up. But these stick with him, they won't leave him be, they feel different somehow.

He dreams of Sampo bringing food to the frontlines and eating breakfast in his tent with him. Sampo always sneaks him extras. He dreams of chasing Sampo through the alleyways, Sampo sometimes letting himself be caught, Gepard sometimes catching him, and trying to ignore how it feels more like a game now more than anything else. He even dreams that Sampo tags along with him on one of his few civilian days. Sampo runs errands with him, prattles about inane bullshit while Gepard picks out groceries for the week, drags Gepard into some bakery he's never been to but he thinks Serval mentioned once.

And sometimes, it feels so close to reality, that Gepard half expects to see Sampo, shamelessly swaggering into the frontlines with all the guards' breakfast like his wanted poster wasn't only recently taken off the walls of Belobog. He's disappointed when it's always someone else instead. He tells himself his disappointment is ridiculous and if Sampo wants to go prowl around the Snow Plains or wherever he is, then fine. It's not any of his business.

…But it IS his job to investigate any unusual criminal activity relating to the frontlines. And the frontlines are Sampo's usual haunting grounds, and this is unusual activity, and Sampo IS technically a criminal, so it is absolutely part of his duty to look into this - is what Gepard tells himself the entire tram ride down into the Underground.

Natasha tells him he's gone, and Gepard has to steel himself. He knew Sampo made enemies wherever he went, there are a lot of people who would love his head on a platter, but he didn't think-

Natasha corrects him that she means literally gone. As in off-planet. Sampo always leaves her a note before he goes anywhere, so she knows not to expect any supply runs from him. He should be back in exactly two weeks. Thank the Preservation.

Gepard goes back home. He waits.

The uneasiness doesn't leave him.

"Where did you go?" Sampo stops dead in the middle of some story about Seele, and how you'd think someone with as blunt a mouth as her wouldn't have so much trouble asking a woman out, even if that woman IS the Supreme Guardian, and stares at him. He nearly fumbles his cigarette.

"Ahaha, what do you mean, I'm right here?" Sampo smiles at him the same way he always does. Gepard has no idea why he asked. It just popped out. He can never tell when Sampo is lying, anyway.

"I don't know. I feel like I haven't seen you in a long time." Gepard idly mouths at his own cigarette. He almost never smokes, but he wants to ration their stocks of Blizzard Immunity, and it helps with the cold. It's seemed colder lately, for some reason.

Gepard flicks his lighter once, twice, sighs at the third time because a metal prosthetic and thick gloves make the damn things so difficult. Sampo reaches over and wordlessly kisses the end of his cigarette to Gepard's, lighting it. "Thank you."

Nothing happens for almost a full 30 seconds. Something churns behind Gepard's ribcage. Because Sampo never leaves a "thank you" hanging. This is the part where he gives his spiel about how helpful and kind he is and Gepard either brings up how long his rap sheet was before Bronya helped clear his name, or just stares deadpan because seeing Sampo squirm is weirdly satisfying.

"…I'll be back in one more week."

Gepard jolts awake in his cot, mouth dry and eyes bleary.

The hell.

The next dream he has, Sampo looks tired. Sometimes he seems normal. Sometimes he says strange things, like how he wishes he'd gone to some restaurant in Belobog. Ate his favorite food more recently. Brought something with him. Gepard asks why he can't do that now. Where would he bring something? Sampo only shrugs. His rebuttals have less energy.

Gepard doesn't know if he wants to dream more, or less.

He ticks down the days on his calendar. Natasha hasn't told him any different. She promised she would if she got any kind of message. Sampo returns tomorrow, from whatever vacation or seedy business dealings he's been off having. He is not excited about it. He is not looking forward to it. He's not!!

Gepard falls asleep late that night, unable to settle. He dreams again.

He's alone. There are tons of people everywhere, the frontlines are always crowded. But he's alone. They all pass right by him as though he were a ghost. Gepard starts to walk before he realizes his feet are even moving.

He checks the trashcans in the dead end alley. He checks the supply crates that someone always stacks too high because they don't feel like finding more space for them. He pauses to check the soldiers that march past him, watching their footprints in the snow.

He finally finds Sampo on the rooftop along the northernmost wall, the one that looks out over the plains, towards Everwinter Hill, towards where the Stellaron had once been kept. With a full moon and an entire land of white snow, Gepard can almost see clear out to the horizon.

"Found you." Sampo stiffens, and Gepard is almost prepared for him to sprint off the roof. He doesn't. But he doesn't relax either. Gepard sits down next to him and stares out at the wastelands.

"…I fucked up." It wasn't what Gepard had been expecting. Sampo never 'fucks up,' Sampo just gets into incidents that are entirely, supposedly, not his fault and that he just happens to always be within the vicinity of.

"What did you do now?" It must be really bad if Sampo is coming to the Silvermanes for protection.

Instead, Sampo ignores his question completely. "See out over there? Right on the other side of that mountain. There's a safe house that way. It's hidden under a lot of snow and dead trees, but it's there. And in that safe house is a box full of letters. I need you to deliver those letters for me."

Gepard's brow furrows. It's a weird favor to ask. Sampo would never tell anyone where his hidden safehouses were. It defeated the whole purpose of a hidden safe house.

Something is wrong, something is really really wrong.

Gepard turns back to look at him again and startles, all of his questions dying in his throat, because the entire left side of Sampo's head is suddenly matted down, dark and sticky, his skin is dyed red red red-

"In three more months, there's gonna be something big happening." Gepard grabs Sampo's hand and it feels slick and warm against his palm. "I won't be here. So I need you to do my end of things for me." Gepard tries to keep hold, but something is fading, something is slowing, the sun is coming up but the colors are all wrong, everything feels like encroaching fog, Sampo's hand slides right through his. "I was gonna come back with my mask to finish setting the stage, but…" Gepard makes a frantic grab for Sampo's wrist, the air twists, he comes back empty-handed. "They have you. And you're the Iron Wall of Belobog. So it'll be ok."

Gepard finally manages to find his grip, snatches the front of Sampo's dark wet jacket and yanks him forward to hold onto him, and this close up, he can see it better, his colors are bleaching out, leaking outside the lines as if Sampo will become part of the background, as if he's fading into the strange fog that's been closing in on them. His fingers are already starting to feel empty again.

"Wake up."

Gepard jolts awake, uncurls his hands from where they're fisted in the blanket, scrubs the dampness off his face. Breathes. Breathes. Breathes. Today is supposed to be the day.

He throws on his civilian clothes, and he goes down to the shipyard the IPC had built. He finds a spot where he can see every person that returns to Belobog, and he waits.

And he waits and he waits and he waits.

No one he recognizes appears.

#sampard #gepo #hsr gepard #hsr sampo #gepard landau #sampo koski #honkai star rail #hsr #blood #my fics #lucid dreamer #there was more to this but it didn't feel right included here so part 2 tomorrow maybe?#I just think Penacony being the land of dreams presents some FASCINATING possibilities like showing up in other people's dreams #the end of masquerade duet killed me just beat me dead #Sampo going through all this trouble just to protect Belobog...#poor Ray got such an earful that night haha #In the Penacony dreamscape someone can change their appearance however they want but I think in this case where one of the dreamers AREN'T-#-on Penacony it would take more concentration to keep that illusion up #and if someone were say. hurt and badly bleeding. it would start to fall apart eventually as they lost their concentration.#but oh my heart #Sampo being away and missing Belobog so badly he shows up in his friends' dreams just to do the same mundane shit they always do...#He probably showed up to everyone #he sat around and kept Natasha company in her clinic. he pestered Seele until he provoked her into asking Bronya on a date.#he played one last song with Pela and Serval. he told them he'd always kept his old bass guitar.#he took Hook out on one last joyride on his scooter and he even let her sit up front and steer like she'd always wanted.#and he stood around to shoot the shit with Gepard #he got to go do things like run domestic errands together with him. as if they could have been something more than what they were at the en #it was nice to get the chance to do all that #it was nice

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sh4wty18 · 6 months ago

Note

heyyyyy i was wondering if you could make a johnnie angst fic where he forgets your bday🫶🏼

you forgot my birthday.

pairing: johnnie guilbert x reader

summary: same as request with some bestie!jake moments

cw: angst, hurt no comfort, language

word count: 1.2k + edited

---

12:00 am. A text from Jake immediately lights up your screen:

jakey: HAPPY BIRTHDAY Y/N!!!! i hope you have the best day ever! im so glad ur dating my bsf so WE could become bsfs!! ilysm go slay queen 💅

You smile and type out a response:

y/n: THANK U SO MUCH JAKE I <3 U!!!!!

You put your phone on do not disturb for the night and roll over in bed, Johnnie hadn’t texted you for your birthday yet, but that was to be expected. He was a slow texter as it is, but he was usually busy streaming or playing music at this time anyway. There was still plenty of time for him to reach out.

10:36 am. You wake up and immediately check your texts. You’d received birthday messages from Carrington, Tara, your friends from home, been tagged in hundreds of posts on tiktok and instagram, even Matt texted you (and you’d only met him once!). But nothing from Johnnie. That’s okay. He was probably still asleep. Nothing to be worried about.

1:48 pm. Nothing. What the fuck? All you wanted for your birthday was to spend a quiet day with your boyfriend. Unlike the other friends you’d made since moving to LA, you were less likely to choose partying over spending quality time with your loved ones. Not that there was anything wrong with partying, you just happened to be more reserved. Johnnie was more quiet and anxious as well, it was something that drew you to him in the first place. You always had someone to ditch social events with. You’d figured by this point he would have texted or called and wished you a happy birthday, then you’d hang out, watch a couple movies, order food in, birthday sex– the whole nine. But no. He'd said not a single word. You tried not to bring up your birthday often in the weeks leading up to it, so as to not annoy anyone, but you know for sure you’d mentioned your birth date at least twice since you’d been dating. He had zero excuse not to know. All the other important people in your life seemed to remember, so where was he?

5:24 pm. Nothing.

7:58 pm. Nothing. You decide to call Jake and see if he has any insight into the situation. He picks up on the second ring.

“What’s up, birthday girl?” He asks sweetly.

“Johnnie still hasn’t told me happy birthday. I think he forgot,” you say. Speaking the words out loud suddenly makes the situation feel way more real, and you feel a familiar lump forming in your throat.

“There’s no way. He couldn’t have. He’s been out all day, I haven’t really seen him. I think he’s doing a shoot for his next music video or something. So maybe he’ll text you when he’s done? I’m sorry, y/n, I wish I could help. If you need to be with someone, you know I’m always here.”

“Thanks, Jake, you’re a great friend. Love you.”

“Love you too, I’ll text you when he gets back.”

“Thanks. And Jake… don’t remind him when he gets back. It won’t be real unless he does it himself.”

10:15 pm. Nothing.

12:00 am. You type out a text to Johnnie:

y/n: you forgot my birthday

johnnie <3: It’s literally next month isn’t it?

johnnie <3: Y/n…plz tell me its next month

y/n: i think i know my own birthday

johnnie <3: No no no no no

johnnie <3: Y/n im so sorry

johnnie <3: I know how u wanted to spend all day together on your birthday. I'm such an idiot. I promise it was an honest mistake. I really thought it was next month.

You don’t answer. At 12:43 am, you hear a knock at your door. He was the last person you wanted to see right now, but you knew he wouldn’t leave until you answered, so you reluctantly opened the door.

“Johnnie, I don’t want to see you–”

“Y/n, please. Please listen to me. I’m so so so sorry. I was busy with music video stuff and I spaced. I wasn’t on my phone all day so I swear, I didn’t see anyone’s birthday posts or anything until after you texted. You can ask Jake and Carrington, they were texting me all day and I never answered.”

“I believe you, Johnnie. And I get being busy, but… it’s just like… how do you forget your own girlfriend’s birthday? Do you know how embarrassing it is? To have all my friends, fans, and even acquaintances wish me a happy birthday, but the one person I really want to hear from doesn’t? It sucks. I felt like shit all day.”

“I know. And being busy isn’t an excuse. There isn’t an excuse. I don’t know what else to say other than I’m so fucking sorry. If I could take it all back I would. I love you so much, y/n. I- I’m so fucking sorry,” Johnnie pleads, and his eyes start to well.

You start to tear up as well, but you don’t want him to see you cry, don’t want to make him feel worse. You’re not angry with him, and you obviously still love him, you’re just sad. You can tell he means what he’s saying, it was definitely an honest mistake, but that doesn’t change the fact that you’re hurt, and embarrassed, and had the worst birthday ever.

“I know you are. And I love you, too. I just… I think I need some space for tonight. I’m sorry, Johnnie,” you say.

“Don’t apologize, baby. I’ll call you in the morning. I love you.” He gives you a quick kiss on the cheek and turns to leave.

You close the door behind him and sink to the floor. You pull your knees to your chest and bury your face in them, finally letting out your soft sobs after holding back tears all day. You pull your phone out of your back pocket and tap the call button under Jake’s name.

“What’s wrong?” He asks immediately, knowing you’d never call this late unless there was an emergency.

“I need you,” you say, choking on your words between tears.

“I’m coming over.” He hangs up.

—

Fifteen minutes later, he’s at your apartment. You’re sitting on the couch together, with you leaning your head against his shoulder and crying softly as he rubs your back.

“I saw Johnnie on my way out… he didn’t look so hot. I’m assuming this is about him?”

You sniffle, “He forgot. I can’t believe he really forgot. Sorry I'm crying, this is so stupid, I’m just… really fucking sad about it. I know he didn’t mean to, and he’s super sorry and stuff but–”

“Y/n, you don’t have to explain yourself to me. Your emotions are completely valid. He’s your boyfriend, of course you’re gonna be upset that he forgot your birthday! It doesn’t mean he’s a bad person, we still love Johnnie! But… he made a mistake and unfortunately it made you sad.”

“I knew you’d understand,” you give him a weak smile, and he wraps his arm around your waist and pulls you into a tight side hug, resting his head on top of yours.

“Of course. I’m here for you, y/n. Always.”

---

first hurt/no comfort fic in the books! (i'm sad)

#sh4wty18 #original fiction #original one shot #one shot #johnnie guilbert #johnnie guilbert x reader #johnnie guilbert x you #angst #hurt no comfort #angst with a sad ending #angst with no comfort #original fanfiction #fanfiction writer #angst one shot #johnnie guilbert oneshot

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le-monchou · 7 months ago

Text

𝐔𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐞𝐚 || 𝐑𝐮𝐠𝐠𝐢𝐞 𝐁𝐮𝐜𝐜𝐡𝐢 || 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭: 𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐋𝐢𝐟𝐞

literally a continuation of my day two: sea of lights this fic crossed my word limit twice (first 500 and then 700 so now i'm making it 1000 words) also tagging @midnightmah07 and @owlisbuffering

as you expected, you don’t see ruggie bucchi for quite a long time after rescuing him from those fishermen- no matter how long you stroll by the sea coast, the only response to his name is the gentle sea foam, something he called the tears of the moon. despite his self-attested illiteracy, the merman whose hair was as golden as the strands of silk woven by the moon from the sun had many stories to tell, and in the short time you knew him, you dared to think of him as more than a friend.

you groan as you push your hands onto your face, blood rising in the places where they smacked you a little too hard. am i really so starved for romance that i decided to go after ruggie of all people? he’s not even a person!!!! he’s like spongebob- he lives at the bottom of the sea! you sigh as you remove your hands from your face, watching the sky turn a beautiful orange with the sun’s setting, the moon already risen a little bit in the distance. the area around you reminds you of the day you set him free, and you can’t help the second sigh that escapes your lips.

taking the boat you’d been lent by one of the fishing crews, you set out into the ocean once again, looking for a nice place to sit and admire the moonlight on the water, waiting for a young man who’d probably never come. sitting on a comfortable-looking rock, you toss the petals of a flower ruggie had mentioned liking the look of when he was restricted to your small bathroom onto the surface of water and scream as bubbles pop up, accompanied by a shishishi you found all too familiar.

“you!” you seethed as ruggie laughed, doing cartwheels with his entire body on the surface. “miss me?” ruggie teased, sharp canines glistening. “i mean, who else are you waiting for on this rock?” you roll your eyes as ruggie laughs once again before quieting down. “anyway, this is really good timing from both our ends- i’m gonna show you my place so you don’t have to worry!”

“ruggie. how am i going to breathe underwater?”

—

“oh woah,” you breathed in the air bubble ruggie had managed to create via a spell he asked the prince about (or so you assumed, because you were reading his lips and he was very distorted underwater), bouncing up and down in the tiny menagerie as ruggie dragged you towards the cave system. “this is where i live,” ruggie mouths as he pushes another vial of potion through the bubble, letting you leave the thing for a bit to swim with him. “this is my home.”

“it’s wonderful, ruggie.” you smile as he flushes. “i’m serious. you could do so much with a cave system as big as this. show me more!” ruggie harrumphs with flushed cheeks before he grabs your hand and leads you inwards towards his room. at least, if he were human, that’s technically what it’d be, with all the human junk arranged around you and this gigantic skeleton hanging from the ‘ceiling’. “what do you think? arranged it all myself. i mean, leona and jack helped too, of sorts, but it was mostly me.”

“this is lovely, ruggie!” you beam. “honestly, if i were a mermaid, i’d love to come here and chill with you. too bad i can only swim like this,” you chuckle as ruggie rolls his eyes fondly before kissing you on the cheek. “well, if not now, then maybe in the future,” ruggie starts as he leads you deeper into the cave system, showing you all the marvellous trash from the surface along with the little gems and pearls and gold they find. and as the two of you keep exploring, ruggie realises again that your time together with him is up, so he brings you back to the surface all too reluctantly as you kiss him close to his lips.

“i loved tonight, ruggie.” you smile as you climb back onto the rock, the boat you loaned still bobbing on the waves of the ocean. “i know it’s a little too early to say this… but i love you, and i hope to see you soon.” something twists on ruggie’s face, something nice and hopeful, and he says nothing as he kisses you goodbye and dives back into the water all flushed, but you think you’ve found your happy ending. i love you, ruggie bucchi.

#twisted wonderland #twst #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #ruggie bucchi #ruggie bucchi x reader #ruggie x reader #twst ruggie #ruggie twst #ruggie x mc #ruggie x yuu #a merry savanaclaw mermay

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misc-obeyme · 1 year ago

Text

THE THREADS THAT BIND

EPILOGUE

MASTERPOST for summary/info/chapter list

a/n: This spicy epilogue is dedicated to @silverrings-n-prettythings who offered to bare knuckle box an alligator for it... twice lol. Fortunately, no alligators needed to be fought, but without Silver's encouragement, it might not have happened. So thank you for always leaving such amazing feedback in the tags, it truly means so much to me!

PLEASE NOTE: This is an epilogue. You need to have read the rest of the story to get the full impact.

I also feel the need to mention that this is very feelings heavy because of the whole relationship build up that had been happening in the main story. It just felt right, since they just kinda recently admitted their feelings for each other.

Anyway, this is the last of the story for real. Thank you for coming with me on this journey!

GN!MC x Barbatos | word count 1,910

NSFW MDNI

Warnings: oral and penetration (reader receiving), pet names, uhhh definitely also some cheesiness, I'm sorry I can't help it lol

You startled yourself awake. Moonlight filtered through the large windows in Barbatos's room, casting shadows beneath the plants and in the corners of the staircases. Beside you, partially bathed in that silver light, Barbatos was slumbering peacefully. You watched as his expression grew concerned, as one of his hands reached out for you in his sleep. Between you, the bright teal of the thread glimmered gently.

It was so rare for you to see him at rest like this, hair disheveled, expression soft in sleep. And yet the last few days, you had seen more of it than he had ever shown you before.

Barbatos shifted slightly, as though he could sense the cold space next to him where your warm body had once been. His hand stretched even further, seeking your presence.

You took it and brought it to your lips.

Barbatos blinked his eyes open. You were confronted with the unguarded feelings that filled them when he focused them on your face, as he took in the sight of you with his fingers pressed to your lips.

Where so much was normally kept hidden, you saw only openness now. Here in the quiet of night, silver splayed and teal tinged, Barbatos looked at you as though everything he had ever cared for in his long life had culminated within your heart. He looked at you as though even when that thread was gone, he would still be irrevocably tied to you. He looked at you as though that was a choice he had made for himself, come what may.

No words passed between you because everything was held in his eyes and in the thread that lingered still.

As he watched, you spread his fingers and kissed the pads of each one, holding his gaze as you did so. His hand was so perfect, despite how often it was used to scrub dishes and pull weeds. The long elegant fingers stayed limp in your grasp until you had finished bestowing your kisses. And then they reached out, his palm resting on your cheek, warm and soft.

There had been a sort of unspoken caution between you as you learned your way through the new reality of honest love. A hesitancy that you both felt to ensure that you didn't make any rash choices, that you took your time, that you learned the nuances of each other.

All of that seemed to have vanished now. Because when you looked down into those eyes, there was only one thing you wanted more than anything else in the three worlds.

Barbatos likely saw that desire in your eyes.

He sat up to meet you, one hand staying on your cheek, the other going to your waist, as he kissed you softly in the moonlight.

You considered letting it stay soft. That despite what you were feeling, it might still be too soon.

But then Barbatos bit gently on your lower lip and any caution you had been about to employ was immediately abandoned. You opened your mouth for him, felt his tongue tracing your lip before entangling itself with yours. The grip on your waist tightened. Your hand flew up to grip the edge of his slightly unbuttoned pajama shirt, fabric twisting in your fist.

You felt the hand on your waist move to slide up your own shirt, fingertips tracing lightly across your skin. You broke away with a gasp, pulling your shirt over your head before undoing the buttons on Barbatos's shirt and pushing it off of his shoulders.

Barbatos followed your lead, helping you to remove the rest of your pajamas and his, before pushing you back gently on the bed.

Barbatos paused, poised above you. The longest strands of his hair brushed softly against your cheek as you looked into his green eyes. The slight glow of the teal thread stretched between your bare chests.

"MC," Barbatos said. His voice had a reverence to it and if he wasn't a demon you would have thought it sounded like a prayer.

You didn't have a chance to respond properly because Barbatos was kissing your neck, his lips pressing down your chest, his hands rubbing down your sides. He continued until he was tucked between your thighs, at which point he looked up at you, a question in his eyes. The thread trailed across your body, a tiny path down your chest and stomach, an almost perfect outline of where his kisses still burned against your skin.

You reached out your hand, nestling your fingers into his hair. "I'm ready," you said. "I trust you."

Barbatos waited for a few moments, as though he was giving you a chance to change your mind. When you didn't, he kissed your thighs, making his way to the throbbing space between your legs. You gasped when you felt his hot mouth on you, the expert way he used his tongue to make your limbs shake.

You couldn't prevent yourself from tugging on his hair as your fingers twisted in it, the feelings washing over you too intense for you to stop it. Barbatos didn't seem to mind, not even pausing although you were certainly causing him some pain.

"Ah, Barbatos-"

At this, Barbatos did stop, looking up at you from his position between your thighs. Your hand dropped to your side, letting go of his hair as he propped himself up to look at you properly.

"I-I'm sorry," you said, blushing slightly at his intense gaze.

His expression softened. "You needn't apologize, my love. All I want is to please you. Tell me what you would like me to do."

My love.

These words caused an echo in your mind, an echo of something Barbatos had once said about someone else -

It seems my love has found us.

You were reminded of that insecurity, the small piece of doubt that still remained, that couldn't be completely eased even though Barbatos told you how he truly felt about you. Even though he had also said -

I have never loved anyone in the same way that I love you.

He had said that to you, directly. Not in a vision of a future yet to come, not to a person whose identity he still didn't know.

Barbatos seemed aware that something was passing through your mind. He sat up, pulling you up with him, wrapping his arms around you, pressing you into his chest. Your eyes were so close to the entry point of the thread as it spilled out from his skin, creating a small U before looping back into you.

"Shall I find a different term to call you?" he asked.

The tenderness of his tone filled you with a softness unlike anything you had ever known. "Like what?"

Barbatos chuckled, his breath ruffling your hair. "My darling, my dearest, my everything, my sun and my moon…"

You laughed. "Okay, okay, stop, please!"

"My cupcake," Barbatos went on. "My muffin, my sugarplum…"

"I shouldn't be surprised that you have so many pastry options," you said.

Barbatos hummed contentedly, kissing your temple. "All you have to do is tell me your preference."

You sighed. "I don't have a preference, you can call me whatever you like."

"As you wish, my little tiramisu," Barbatos said.

You shook your head, laughing because you couldn't help it.

Barbatos pulled away enough to meet your eyes. "MC, if you will allow it, I would like nothing more than to finish what I have begun." His fingers trailed down your stomach, hovering just above the heat of your arousal.

A thrill ran through you when you saw the desire that had taken over Barbatos's expression. Where one moment he had been all softness, now he was all fire, a passion blazing there that ignited the need inside you as well.

You reached up, putting your hand flat on his chest right where the thread emerged. "I want you inside me, Barbatos."

Barbatos wasted no time. He was almost methodical in the way he retrieved some lubrication from the bedside table, using it and his fingers to make sure you were fully ready. You squirmed beneath his ministrations until you couldn't take it anymore, practically begging him to put his cock in you.

Barbatos's pace slowed significantly as he lined himself up, slowly pressing himself into your heat. You trembled beneath him, the exquisite feeling of him filling you up and making you shiver. You moaned once he was fully inside you and the expression of bliss on his face let you know that he was feeling just as good as you were.

You barely registered him asking you if you were okay, all you could do was wrap your legs around his hips, your hands clutching at his shoulders, as you moaned and gasped.

You were sure you said something, likely begging him to continue, but it was all lost in the heat and the feelings.

Barbatos was slow and sweet as he began to thrust, mumbling in your ear about how much he loved you. You mostly responded with moaning and gasping, but eventually you couldn't take how slow he was going and your words turned into begging him to speed up.

Barbatos didn't hold back for long, taking his cues from you and increasing his speed as you requested. You held onto him as he hit that perfect spot inside you over and over, the feeling of him moving inside you so sweet and so good, building and building.

Barbatos pulled away from you just a little, propping himself up to look down at you. You saw that blazing passion in his eyes and the reflection of the teal thread, that bounced now as it stretched between your chest and his. Your hands clutched at his arms. You cried out his name, your back arching, as you came hard, the feeling bursting within you from deep in your gut, exploding through every nerve in your body.

You watched as Barbatos came, too, his normally calm expression running riot with how good you made him feel.

Both of you gazed at each other, breathing heavily as you came down from the highs of your orgasms, feeling the warmth of the room settle around you, the gentle sweetness of intimacy bringing you even closer.

Barbatos kissed your eyelids, your cheeks, your lips, that place on your chest where the thread still connected you to him.

You found that neither of you needed to say anything more then. Barbatos was as efficient as always, taking care of cleaning things up before coming back to the bed. The moment he was beside you, you found yourself pulling him into your arms, pressing him against you, like you were scared he might disappear if you didn't feel him close enough. He sighed against your skin and wrapped his arms around you, tucking himself into you perfectly.

You didn't know it that night, but forever after Barbatos would use random pastries as pet names for you. It was almost always something different and it made you smile every time.

Sometimes, long after the thread had finally faded, often in the night when the silver moon cast its light into the darkness of his bedroom, Barbatos would speak gently and softly into your ear, making you shiver and reminding you of a truth he was determined to make sure you never forgot. In those quiet moments, he only ever called you my love.

masterpost | chapter one | chapter thirteen

masterlist | Thank you for reading!

#obey me #obey me nightbringer #obey me shall we date #omswd #obey me smut #obey me barbatos #om barbatos #barbatos obey me #obey me barbatos x reader #om barbatos x reader #barbatos obey me x reader #obey me barbatos smut #om barbatos smut #the threads that bind #misc naughty times #misc writes

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mossyivy · 9 months ago

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CHRIS STANS RISE!!! WE NEED TO GIVE THAT MAN MORE LOVE AND ATTENTION!!! 😤

Domestic Chris…Because that’s my specialty. 🥹

I see Chris having three kids, two boys, one girl. He’d be the type of dad to push his boys so hard, always expecting the best of the best from them. His daughter as well, but not as harsh. I see them all pretty close in age, maybe 1-2 years apart for each kid.

He’d have his boys do all sorts of sports and activities. Football, baseball, basketball, tennis, track, cross country, you name it, they do it. Chris would also help them practice, especially in football and baseball. His daughter would probably do ballet, tennis, and be in the Girl Scouts with Cecilia, and maybe do drama with Violet as well.

Also, it’s very much cannon that Chris spoils his daughter 10X more than his boys. His little girl wants to go on a Sephora shopping trip? Take his card and go crazy. His boys want to go out with their friends? Here’s $25 for the both of you.

Chris is also such a loving husband. He’d buy you gifts “Just because”. Or if you mention a new designer purse online, it would mysteriously show up on the dining table to greet you when you woke up…With a handwritten note of course. You were very much a spoiled wife, but he didn’t care, you gave him three beautiful kids for god sakes, of course he’d buy you whatever you want.

If there was ever a time any of your boys were disrespectful to you while he was gone, (Because they know better than to mess with their mother while dad’s around.) He’d give them the “You don’t disrespect MY wife.” Talk. Ugh, 😣 give me a chance Chris…☹️

- Anon! 🎀

🎀 ANON I FUCKING LOVE YOU I'VE BEEN WANTING TO TALK ABOUT HIM BUT NO ONE REALLY DOES MUCH IN THE CHRIS TAG ANYMORE AND THAT PLUMMETS MY MOTIVATION!!!

But I'll scream with you anyday bb!!!

(I'm sorry this is so long I just couldn't help myself 😭)

Okay so I've had the idea that Chris met someone with a child from a previous relationship (Your first born son, Let's name him Oliver and call him Ollie for short! He's like 2 years older than Violet. He struggles a bit in school so they're in the same grade, along with his younger brother, after he was held back in 5th and 8th grade but that's okay! Everyone struggles!)

Ollie was like 2 when they first met. Your ex-husband was a HORRIBLE MAN, absolutely terrible to you and the only good thing he ever did was bless you with Ollie. That's it.

Chris and his wife met through work (let's be honest here, how tf else would he meet a woman? Chris is very much a workaholic.) His wife is basically the lead of the BSAA's dispatch response team (Basically what Hunnigan does at the FOS but the BSAA's version) and she's good at her job. Very strong willed and mouthy as a mf. Isn't scared to go back at anyone over the radio and definitely got into it with Chris once or twice before they officially met.

(catch me posting what happened when they met in person the first chance someone asks)

Anyway!!

After y'all start dating it doesn't take long before you introduce Chris to your son and Ollie is just OBSESSED with Chris. Like you've never seen this kid so excited to see another human being until Chris shows up. You two only started dating for a few months and Ollie already calls Chris dad. You try correcting him scared AF that Chris is gonna get freaked out but he's actually super chill with it. He's use to taking care of people, he basically raised Claire after their parents died but this little guy is much younger and a lot more fun and excitable than Claire was.

A few months into the relationship you find out you're pregnant. Chris is excited but also freaking out with how often he's gone. But everything works out and you end up having your second son, Christopher Jr but CJ for short.

You and Chris end up getting married not long after your first anniversary after the babies born. Not making a big deal out of anything just getting papers signed and having a little get together celebrating everything.

2 years go by, Ollie's in Kindergarten and CJ does daycare. You start getting horribly ill out of nowhere. So you go get checked out and oh God you're pregnant again...

(This would be the point in time where Leon starts bugging for another baby with his wife)

9 months of Chris being a nervous wreck fly by and the world meets your daughter, Talulla, Lulu for short.

Chris would be adamant on sticking the kids in after school activities once they're old enough. His boys would do sports and his baby girl in softball and girl scouts so she can hangout with her pseudo cousins. (Her being 2 years younger than Violet and 2 years older than Cecilia) Until her older cousin quits cause girl scouts are for babies (🙄)

Chris and his wife would be UBER COMPETITIVE when it came to cookie selling season. It's all out war between the Redfield's and Kennedy's every year.

I feel like Ollie would also really be musically gifted and play piano for the school choir and musicals. Lulu would Ed up wanting to do drama but be a stage hand or in the costume department. She's actually very shy.

CJ is basically Chris when he was a kid. Always doing stupid shit... Getting in trouble over the dumbest of things but looking out for others. (Definitely beat up that kid who was picking on Violet when they were 7.)

You're getting calls from the school at least once a month because CJ got in trouble for either getting into an argument with a teacher over rules or another kid tried something stupid.

#chris redfield x you #chris redfield x reader #chris redfield x y/n #chris redfield #chris redfeild x reader #🏘️ domestic life with chris redfield

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elvisabutler · 2 years ago

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OK, I'll bite: since your requests are open, may we please, with all the cherries on top, get a Dove pregnancy fic? If you have the time and energy, of course - I know your WIP list is crazy, and I'm sure you have all kinds of things going on irl too, as we all do! 😘

if your child needs a daddy, i can help

summary: you find yourself pregnant with your first kid and you and austin make room for them in your lives despite how sometimes the whole pregnancy makes you feel emotionally and physically. fandom: austin butler | elvis ( 2022 ) rating: m, i suppose. he does get his finger inside of her. pairing: austin butler x priscilla actress reader ( little dove verse ) word count: 2261 warnings: the normal warnings apply for this verse. daddy kink. dom/sub dynamics. brief mentions of past relationships that were not at all pleasant. anxiety. negative self talk. pregnancy kink. breeding kink. THESE WARNINGS MAKE IT SOUND MORE SMUTTY THAN IT IS. but it's actually quite fluffy. austin's just horny for his wife. referenced/implied fingering. future and past p in v sex referenced. author’s note: consider this canon for the main verse? obviously set in the future so- god maybe 2024/2025? generally speaking i loved this prompt and technically meant to keep it short or at the very least fluffy but uh- well austin's a horndog is really what happened. thank you anon for this prompt, truly, i'm really trying to get up the courage/gumption to restart actually actively writing for dove and austin and stuff like this and the asks really help more than you know. also thank you for acknowledging my crazy wip list. didn't actually think i'd write this as quick as i did, and truly i meant to have it up on mother's day when i realized how quick i was writing it but this past weekend. lord she was a doozy in my work real life. anyway i hope you like it and anyone who actually wants to be tagged for this verse, either hit me up in my ask box or my dms or someway. i didn't do my normal austin tag list for this because i know this verse has been known to occasionally bother some people and i don't want to put it in your face if you don't want to read it, you know?

It happens- as all things do with you and Austin- quickly. It comes within the two months of you telling Austin you want to make Austin a real Daddy. A daddy who can hold his child and rock it and sing it little lullabies until it grows up to be and strong like their parents. You'd think since you're a grown woman and a surprising amount of your life has become regimented in ways it wasn't after dating and then marrying Austin that you wouldn't miss your period and not notice. You wouldn't miss it one month, two months and only realize something's strange when you go to visit Austin to see his show and hiss and practically yelp in pain when he presses up against your chest. They were bigger but they always got a little bigger around your period, it was fine. But then Austin is murmuring in your ear and pressing his hand against your stomach where he can feel a firmness where there wasn't one before.

"Are you pregnant?"

That's a weird question to ask, you're due for your period any day now, you think, thinking that you're close enough to the beginning of the next month that you're due for one soon. Not that it'll be your third missed period in a row. You shake your head, "no, I'm due for it next week, I think."

Austin raises an eyebrow and presses against the firm spot, waiting for it to give only to realize it's staying firm, there's something there. "When was your last one, Dove?"

You open your mouth to answer once, twice, three times before you look down at his hand against your stomach and see how your breasts are practically spilling out of your bra and you let out a noise of delight and shock rolled into one. Your voice is soft when you answer him finally. "I don't remember."

The squeal of delight you let out and the way Austin laughs and laughs and laughs twirling you around before setting you back down so he can kiss your belly is something the cast talks about for the next week or two.

It's a flurry to try and get things rescheduled, have projects pushed back or dropped all together as your belly starts to curve outward, becoming harder and harder to hide as the weeks go by. You and Austin had made an agreement to not announce a single thing before 12 weeks. It wasn't a guarantee nothing would go wrong but it put you in a safer territory than you would be if you announced earlier. Austin argues every so often that you shouldn't make an announcement, not because he doesn't want people to know but because he's so fiercely protective over your private life with him beyond what the two of you have to show that exposing your child to this nonsense fills him with dread. He worries about the judgment he figures you'll get over having a baby like this. Worries about how if you want to book something short that people may look at your belly and realize that it's not worth it. Maxwell and Simon, your agents and managers and pseudo dads rolled into one promise to get you just one more thing even if you'll have an obvious belly for them because they care about you and your career almost if not more than Austin does.

You tell him- no, you explain to him that you can't do that, you can't go into hiding because you're pregnant. You want to be able to tell the world that you're carrying his baby, that your belly is growing because you told him you wanted a baby. This baby may not be their child, but they're your fans and what would you be without your fans? No, you have to announce it so that you can finally stop hiding in oversized hoodies and dresses tailored to hide your bump. Besides, you've been known to read the gossip blogs and the magazines while waiting for your doctor's appointments. You know very well there's theories as to what's going on and how people find it suspicious you've gone from full body shots on instagram to above the waist shots. There's theories about why you had to drop out of a film that you'd be filming while nine months pregnant and ready to pop if you did. This is the only real way to put them to rest.

"Looking forward to this little one and I having many more mother's days to come. Your daddy and I can't wait to meet you." is the caption you go with on Mother's day with Austin's hands and your hands on your stomach. The comments make you cry though if Austin asks you're only crying because of the hormones. Not because of your little Elvis family bombarding your comments with congratulations or the way any negative comments get overwhelmed by happier comments. Even Kaia and Vanessa say congratulations and you feel something in your chest loosen at the knowledge. You feel the fear that had gripped your heart deep down that whispered how you'd have to hide this pregnancy like you hide your submission to Austin- like you hid your relationships with your other doms- disintegrate and evaporate into thin air.

Austin knows the second he sees your smile and sees your response to a few messages that he's doomed, he's lost the fight of getting you to remain a little more private about the pregnancy. Truthfully he's just thankful you agree with him that the two of you are going to try your absolute hardest to keep the baby themselves out of the limelight. And - as he murmurs, cupping your growing bump one night- their three siblings. Your feed is split between promoting your new project, random other things you'd do and posts about your growing bump, your occasional sickness and how pregnancy isn't really all it's cracked up to be even when you want a baby.

It comes to a head one day when you're seven months pregnant with your big long baby that Austin felt the need to gift you with all his height genes and you're posting something about how this week has just been rough.

"I'm not speaking for everyone, obviously, and all you infertility moms can tell me I'm wrong, but for me- I'm- society gives us all some rose tinted glasses when it comes to pregnancy and from what some of you guys have told me, motherhood." You sigh, wincing as your daughter kicks your rib cage and does this somersault that has your stomach rolling and twisting. "I want more kids but- this hurts. This hurts and I feel huge and I can't breathe sometimes because they're pressing on everything and I know you guys have seen the pap photos, I can't even really hug Austin right any more."

Austin for his part knows better than to interrupt when he hears you talking to yourself and despite his better judgment waits outside your shared bedroom door until he hears words that stop his heart.

"It's selfish, I guess, but I worry sometimes that he doesn't- he isn't going to like me nearly as much when the baby comes out. We've all heard about how guys do that and Austin's but- I don't know. I'm being melancholy and that's not what you signed up for today." You lift up your shirt to show your bump as your daughter does another roll that you manage to catch on camera. "I guess they wanted to show off at the expense of mommy. You are definitely your father's kid."

When it's been silent for a few minutes and he hears you grunt in pain he finally walks inside the room to see you standing in front of the mirror, cupping your bump before running your hands over your chest. There's a part of him in the back of his head that finds the action arousing beyond belief but he sees the look on your face and sees how you're playing with your necklace as the hand that was on your breast moves up. You're so engrossed in looking at your body and allowing your mind to whisper things to you that you don't notice Austin until he's up behind you and his hands are lifting up your belly just so.

"Oh, Aus- Fuck, Daddy, keep your hands there." You moan, the relief palpable in your tone. "That feels so good, she's been-"

"Growing too fast and too big for my little Dove?" Austin's tone is light and playful has he kisses your neck, watching the two of you in the mirror. "The joys of having me as the other half of the genes. Two more months and then she's out of you and you're free until the next one."

Your jaw tenses just a little at the words. It's not that you don't want another baby but who's truly to say he's going to want you enough to make one. The silence after his joke is what makes Austin pause and has him kissing at your jaw. "What's wrong?"

Because something is wrong and you have to communicate with him, if you need something you need to tell him, that's always been the rule in your relationship. A sigh leaves your lips. "There's- you're not going to find me attractive-" you pause and try to take a breath before the first thought that comes to your mind leaves your mouth in a rush. "Elvis didn't like Priscilla after she had Lisa."

Austin drops your belly gently against your protests and turns you to face him while shaking his head, taking your head in his hands. "Dove. Don't- we're not them, remember?"

"I know that!" You practically whine before rubbing at your eyes that are quickly filling with tears. "I know we're not! I know you're Austin and I'm me but I look and feel like a beached whale and my boobs are huge and will probably sag everywhere-"

Austin places his finger on your lips before shaking his head. "I'm going to stop you right there and tell you to look down." He watches you as your eyes slide down his torso and stop between his legs. He's- he's hard just from looking at you and touching you. There's his arousal staring you in the face in his grey sweatpants and you can't help but bite your lip. It twitches a little.

"You're- Daddy."

"I'm hard. You know how I've been the bigger you get. I thought you were attractive before but carrying my baby? Watching your belly swell and seeing your boobs escape every bra you put them in? Dove, if my dick had it's way you'd be pregnant every second you could be." He murmurs, allowing his hands to slide down your neck to your chest where he gives your breasts and nipples a squeeze before sliding down to your stomach. "And when this belly is gone? When our daughter is suckling at your chest? I'm going to remember that you did this. Going to remember how my wife grew our daughter and is feeding her from her own body still. I'm going to know that you're strong and perfect. And I'm going to remind myself we have a baby schedule to stick to. That I can't just immediately put another one inside of you."

His words cause a shudder to ripple through you and Austin smirks just a little, moving his hands down lower and lower, "Dove, if I put my hand between your legs how wet is it going to get?"

You feel your breath shakily leave your mouth. "Soaked. Please, Austin-"

A kiss cuts off your words as Austin's hand slides in between your leggings and your skin, inching ever so closer to where he's ignited a fire. He pulls away just a hair and shakes his head. "Try again, lil Dove. Please who?"

The eyeroll you give him holds no malice but you can't help it even as your arousal threatens to overwhelm you. "Daddy, please."

"I'll always give my Dove what she needs," he murmurs, finally sliding his fingers inside of you with a low groan from both of you.

It's funny how after that night your sex life with Austin up until the end of your pregnancy became a little more intense. More frequent as if to reassure you any time the voice inside your head got too loud and any time every trick your therapists taught you failed. Austin loved you and there wasn't a single doubt about that. Even if there was, the way he was by your side throughout your labor with your daughter would have done away with any doubts. There wasn't much more you could ask for in a partner than what he did for you that day and what he does for you as you recover.

It's a week before any of you are ready to take a picture but you're thankful for Ashley recommending a good photographer for the newborn pictures despite Austin's protests that he could take his own. After all, you wanted him in some of them, and you didn't trust an autotaken picture for this. When it comes time for Austin to post that your daughter's been born he goes for a simple picture that shows your hand on top of Austin's and Loretta's on yours with a simple caption: isn't she lovely, isn't she wonderful.

He saves the other photos for you to post.

#austin butler #austin butler x priscilla actress reader #austin butler x reader #austin butler x you #austin butler x y/n #austin butler fic #austin butler fanfic #austin butler fluff #austin butler smut #austin butler fanfiction #little dove series #dove series #you read your lines so cleverly and never missed a cue #ally writes #also surprise me posting two fics in one day!!

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rubberfuckey · 2 years ago

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summary: After a worried phone call from Wheezie, you decide to come back to Kildare. Second part!

part one

wc: 1.4k

a/n: Thank you guys so much for the positive feedback from the first part, I'm already planning on part three! Let me know what you think and if you would like to be tagged in the next part! (: <3333

masterlist

talk to me

You have two options; run for the hills and deny even seeing him, obviously a lie, or go up and face it head-on. Who is this girl next to him? Sofia hasn’t stopped watching Rafe’s face since you walked in. She knew who you were so she knew how he must’ve felt seeing you here. You decide to go over, at least you could introduce yourself to the girl and say hi to Kelce; both fallbacks if things with Rafe get too awkward. You make your way over straight to them and watch Kelce turn to whisper something to Rafe then walk away. Damn it Kelce.

As he walked by you, he grabbed your wrist, “Welcome home. Thank God you’re back.”

You look at him with nothing but nervousness in your eyes, “Is it that bad?”

“I’m just really happy to see you.” he chuckles as he keeps walking far away from whatever was about to happen.

Sofia seemed to only move closer to Rafe’s side, not that he was paying her a single slither of attention anyways. With his mouth stuck open, you look down at your feet suddenly feeling every set of eyes on you.

“Hey,” you said once you reach him. Hey? Really?

“Uh, hey?”

“Sorry that was weird, how are you?”

He would not break eye contact, please look away.

“Oh, I’m great, yeah. You know how much I love Rose Cameron’s parties.”

You snicker at his sarcasm and finally break the eye contact, looking at the girl you had conveniently forgotten was there.

“Hi, I’m Y/N.” You stick out your hand for her to shake.

“Sofia.” She says with a small smile.

“Rose did a great job planning all this, huh? It really looks nice in here.” Please, God, strike me down right here.

“Yeah.” She trailed off awkwardly.

“So! How long have you two been together?” You asked with the fakest smile you could muster.

“We’re not together.” “A few months.” Rafe and Sofia answer at the same exact time.

Your smile falters, which answer was it? You send her a soft smile before Rafe looks down at you, “What are you doing here, Y/N?”

You debated telling him that Wheezie called but you didn’t want to throw her under the bus.

“Oh uh, my parents told me what had happened. I had the weekend free so I decided I should probably come to pay my respects.”

“Oh.”

Silence, again.

“Have you guys seen Wheezie around anywhere? I want to go say hi.”

“Yeah, I think she’s outback with Sarah somewhere,” Sofia responds, Rafe still hasn’t looked away from you. He’s looking down at you with an intensity that makes it feel hard to breathe.

“Thank you, I’m sure I’ll see you guys around later. It was great to meet you.” You walked away as if the ground would swallow you whole if you stayed another minute. Rafe walked away from Sofia without a word.

Of course, you had to run into Rose before even making it outside. She gasped “Y/N!”

She looks awful, wearing all black and mascara under her eyes. No one should have to go through something like this, twice nonetheless.

“Hey Rose, I’m so sorry.” You said softly as tears filled her eyes again. She shook her head, not wanting to address it.

“Everyone’s going to be so happy to see you, we miss you coming around to the house.”. You were always welcome there, they thought you were a great influence on everyone. Not to mention, you had a spotless reputation. As an older woman came up to speak to Rose, you took that as your sign to continue walking towards the door.

It doesn’t take long at all to spot her, “Wheezie!”

“Y/N! Finally, you’re here!” she said as she pulled you into a hug.

You looked over to see Sarah shocked at the sight of you.

“Hey, Sar.”

She pulled you into a hug as soon as Wheezie let go of you and whispered in your ear, “You wouldn’t believe what happened since you left.”

She gave you an unreadable look as she pulled away from the hug and showed you where they had sat down.

“Did you see him?” Wheezie asked as Sarah looked for your reaction. All you could do was nod as you let out the breath you felt you had been holding since you saw him.

“I’m sorry, maybe I shouldn’t have asked you to come here,” Wheezie says upset with herself.

“No, I’m glad I’m here. I want to be here for you guys.” You reassured. You had half a mind to google ‘therapists near me’ sitting here, but you wouldn’t tell Wheeze that. You wanted to be strong for them. As if the universe was playing some kind of sick prank on you, you look up and see Sofia walking past. She’s beautiful, like super gorgeous. Ouch.

Sarah follows your eyes to see what has caught your attention and just shook her head. The rest of the gathering was pretty bearable. You sat with Sarah and Wheezie, while she caught you up on all the drama from her school, not letting you or Sarah get a word out. You didn’t see Rafe for the rest of the time you were there.

He had left the party early, Sofia following him into Tannyhill and up the stairs, lost in his head and whispering to himself.

“Sofia, I’m sorry, I didn’t know you considered us an official thing,” he whispered, he wanted to be nice about it. She had always been nice to him. But, they really weren’t in a relationship, neither of them had ever even expressed interest in defining it as such.

“Oh we’re not, I know that,” she shrugged. Rafe felt his eyes pop out of his head, why would she say that then? Has she lost her mind? Why would she say that to Y/N of all people? “But, I wanted to see how she would react,” she added. He just look at her incredulously.

“Look, Rafe, you’ve been very sweet, but it’s so obvious you never got over her. I could tell before she even stepped foot back in Kildare, and it was painfully obvious when you saw her there. I thought if I acted like you were with me and moved on from her it would pull a reaction out of her.” She paused, waiting for some kind of reaction but she didn’t get one so she kept talking, “And it did. Did you see her face? She was very obviously upset.” He sat there with his head in his hands. She was upset? Did she care?

“I’m gonna go, I’ll see you later.” She said, standing up from her seat.

He looked up quickly and put his pride aside. Grabbing her wrist as she walked past, all he could do is apologize.

“You have nothing to be sorry for, Rafe.” She gave him a soft smile and showed herself out of the house.

Sarah had pulled you away the second Wheezie had finally been distracted enough to stop talking for a moment.

“We should talk.” is all she says as she pulls you in the direction of the parking lot, saying goodbye to the faces you recognized as you walked out of the club.

“Where are we going?”

“Somewhere far away from all these kooks.”

“Oh right I forgot, you’re claiming that pogue life now that you have a new pogue boyfriend.” you teased, you never really cared about the kook versus pogue bullshit.

“You will too when I catch you up to speed with everything that has happened since you’ve been gone.”

You drive over to the southside and follow her out to a dock where the HMS Pogue was tied up. John B, Kie, JJ, Pope, and another girl you didn’t know were all sitting there talking before they noticed your arrival.

John B stood up and pulled Sarah into a hug immediately, “How’d it go?” he asked softly.

“As good as expected, picked up a stranger on the way over here.” she sighed as she moved out of the way for everyone to look at you. You smiled and waved at the familiar faces and introduced yourself to the girl you now know as Cleo.

“So Cleo, how long have you lived in the Banks?” you asked.

Everyone turns their heads to look around at each other.

“Yeah, we’ll get to that, we have a lot of catching up to do,” Sarah said and took the spot next to John B.

part three

Tag List :)

@f4ll-for-you @colbysbrocks

#rafe cameron #outer banks #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron imagine #outer banks imagine

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lostgracestories · 1 year ago

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Distant Sparks (Miguel O'Hara x Reader)

This was once again the winner of my most recent poll and WOO you guys are in for a treat! Unlike my usual one-shots so far, I am planning to make this into a series! I'm not sure how many parts this series will have but I am psyched!! Anyways, enough babbling and to the story!

tw: mention of bullying (past experience), cold Miguel, mention of Gabriella

wc: 661

->pt1<- pt2

Enjoy~ <3 (comment to be added to the tag list for this series)

You strolled happily down the halls of spider society with the biggest smile plastered to your face. You were a new Spiderwoman and you’d been accepted into the society only 2 months after being bit by your spider. Right now you are carrying this week's anomaly reports to take to Miguel. You had only met him twice. Once when you were recruited, and a second time when he called you to his office to give you your first mission. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t more than a little excited to see him again.

As you approached Miguel’s lab? Office? Surveillance room? Whatever it was, you stood there and inhaled a sharp breath before excitedly scurrying in, papers in hand.

“Hey, Miguel!” Miguel keeps his eyes focused on the screens in front of him. He has no interest in you yet and barely acknowledges you with a quiet, ‘Hm?’

“Jess said she had to take care of an important matter and asked if I’d drop these papers with you! I think she said that these are anomaly reports?” Miguel barely turns his head to inspect you for a moment from his platform before once again giving you a less-than-flattering response

“Thanks”

He webs the papers up to himself and flips through them, scanning through the details before setting them down and noticing that you are still there from the corner of his eye

“Unless you have anything else of importance to tell me, please leave”

His response is cold and you bite back your bottom lip. You had been treated worse than this before. On your earth, you had been a victim of relentless bullying throughout high school and even as you started college. No one here would even guess that you’d been through anything like that. You were so sweet and kind to everybody regardless of what was going on in your life.

“Actually… it’s nothing of importance really, but may I ask you a question?”

Miguel turns away from his work in annoyance and cocks a brow at you.

“Make it quick” You offer up a brighter smile as you begin your question.

“Well, the other spiders told me that it’s your birthday in three days and I was wondering what you would like for a gift?”

Miguel scoffs and rolls his eyes.

“Nothing. Don’t get me anything. Now leave. You’ve already been enough of a distraction”

Miguel turns back to his screens and you stand there for a moment, stuck on those words. You realize that Miguel no longer wants to talk so you shift on your feet and turn around.

As you walked back through the halls of spider society, you got lost in your thoughts.

“Don’t get me anything”

Those words replayed in your head and you pursed your lips together. What if you did get him something? Would he get angry and make you return it? If he didn’t want you to get him something then… your face absolutely lit up as you came up with the brightest idea.

What if I make him something?

That’s it! You were going to make this big grumpy spider a gift whether he wanted one or not! Because what kind of person would get rid of a handmade gift? They would have to be heartless to do that. And you knew he wasn’t. As much as he wanted to seem stone-cold and scary, you knew about what he had done when he replaced the version of him that had a daughter. But you also thought that it was a little endearing. Miguel hadn’t just seen an opportunity to live the life he wanted to live, he saw that a little girl was going to suffer because she would no longer have a father. To you, he was anything but heartless.

So that settled it. In 3 days, Miguel O'Hara was going to receive the best handmade gift he had ever been given in his entire life.

#miguel ohara #miguel 2099 #spiderman atsv #spiderman 2099 #miguel o hara #miguel x reader #atsv miguel #miguel spiderman #miguel spiderverse #miguel o'hara #minor angst #across the spiderverse #fluffy reader #miguel x you #miguel ohara x reader #miguel ohara x you #miguel ohara x y/n #chapter 1

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lost-scarecrow · 5 months ago

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I never did share my KinitoPET oc playlists did I?

Anyways! These are just songs that remind me of them in someway. Could be something they'd listen too, something about the song represents them (title, album, cover art, lyric, interpretation, vibe, or genre), or I just like it and decided they need to like it too.

Obligatory tags for the askblogs Scar and Atâhk are from. Seriously check them out! and the other awesome askblogs and just blogs in general in this circle, I feel completely surrounded by the coolest and most talented people with the most inspiring, motivating passion for their characters and what they create. It's really helped me be more openly passionate about my own OCs.

Learn more and experience the serverbox au, where Scar is an asker character, here: @lastintheserverbox

Learn more and experience electronicdissonance, where Atâhk is a character, here: @electricdissonance

I'll add a read more because this is going to be... A lot.

Content warnings for: car accidents (not in-depth mention), missing peoples cases, character death (temporary), self loathing

Scar!

I really enjoyed making his playlist! I've been listening to it on repeat for like two weeks now! Rotating him and everyone else on serverbox in my head.

Five songs from his playlist that really stand out to me and my reason's why:

Gilded Lily - Cults || "Haven't I given enough, given enough?" || he feels like he's losing everything, has lost everything. Does he really need to give up more?

Only Human - Philip Ayers || it's the title and vibe. He might living in the digital world, but even then he's still only human he has hopes, dreams, and ideas for the future, he still gets sad, angry, and happy.

Disembodied Mind - Sparkbird || "I am in trouble with myself again... That's why I'll do anything to keep myself away from me maybe when I'm gone I'll see me in a better light" || He doesn't have the best opinion of himself, he sometimes wishes he did.

Milk Carton - Madilyn Mei || "Say, is that the kid from the milk carton? Can I do anything when I'm also missing?" || He's gone missing twice in his life. Once when he was a kid, around four or five, when him and his dad first moved to British Columbia. The second time was when he died, nobody saw him leave town or hear anything about him going anywhere, he was a little bit of a hermit, especially after Dahlia's passing, but he was still sociable and told people most of his important plans to leave just incase there was a wildfire, storm, or a rockslide so people wouldn't get trapped going up the mountain to warn him. They never really got closure on his case, they searched his house and found nothing that indicated he left or planned to go anywhere. His phone was still next to his desktop, dust had already began settling on everything. His car and his car keys were all still there. He just vanished.

Cold Island - My Singing Monsters || "Nobody likes me, everyone is afraid of me." || He tends to assume the worst when he gets in trouble, he doesn't have a good opinion of himself so why would anyone else?

---

Dot!

I got to include some different types of songs in her playlist because of what I image her to be! She's a seal/selkie in the digital world, she's also originally from Newfoundland and Labrador but her family also moved to Kelowna around the same time Scar's did, her mother is Labrador Inuit and her father is a second generation Scottish immigrant from Newfoundland.

Five songs from her playlist that stand out to me and my reason's why:

Great Big Sea/Gone By The Board - Great Big Sea (Newfoundland folk song) || I just like this song. This is the reason she's from Newfoundland and Labrador and not anywhere.

Bones In the Ocean - The Longest Johns || "I remember the living, do they think of me?" || Dahlia had a Kinito and he was on her phone with her, he enjoyed being with her when she visited Scar, he had never met Scar properly but he liked Scar he was a good friend a perfect second best friend for his best friend. When Dahlia was in her accident, they were driving home from Scar's. Kinito was with her and she knew Kinito could pull her into his world, he had offered it before but she told him she couldn't not if it meant leaving Scar behind. She remembers reaching for her phone and telling Kinito this was a special exception for her declining his offer, before she was fully dead he pulled her in, unable to pull her entire body into the phone he pulled in just her consciousness. She often thinks about Scar, wondering how often he thinks about her. Not knowing both of them are dead and living in the digital world.

Deal With Destiny - LDShadowlady, Scott Major, Pokopom || arguably a very silly song to list after all that I just wrote but listen, it fits Dot. She would've loved Empires Lizzy without a doubt.

4am (Acoustic) - Derivakat || "Keep me up 'til 4am, I'll stay up for you" || mainly the vibes of the lyrics, she'd stay awake if any one of her friends just needed someone to be awake with them.

Jort Storm - Slimecicle || She'd be singing this song all the time. It's chaotic, it's silly, it's a banger. She considers the lyrics "Got a genetic test but all my genes were shorts" a musical and writing masterpiece.

---

Atâhk!

So many choral songs! I just started building the playlist and was taken in by the amount of choral music I could put in his playlist. It's why his playlist is 21 hours long. I got a silly. Also his songs I chose ended up being more of the vibe of him.

Five Six songs from his playlist that really stand out to me and my reason's why:

Suspicion Of Humans / 人間への疑惑 - Akimitsu Honma, 関向弥生 || It's got a bit of a silly little vibe to it, sounds like someone is about to pull a little trick. "suspicioun of humans"? More like "be suspicious of that coyote over there with a bottle of glitter". It's 4:30 am I don't know what I'm saying but please understand the vibe. It's because Atâhk is silly and would pull little (harmless) gags and tricks.

Hug All Your Friends - Cavetown || "Life's too short, to worry about things that we got wrong, so hug all your friends and let them know, you're not letting go. No, I won't let go, oh" || a rule he lives by. Hug all your friends, there's way too much going on in the world to not let your friends know you care, to let them know you love them.

The Moon Will Sing - The Crane Wives || not so much the song, while this band is something Atâhk would listen too, it's the album title "Coyote Stories". Atâhk is a coyote it made me think of him.

Earth Song - Frank Ticheli, VOCES8, Requiem - Eliza Gilkyson|| "But music and singing shall be my refuge And music and singing shall be my light A light of song, shining strong: Hallelujah! Through darkness and pain and strive, I'll sing. Be. See. Live. Peace." - Earth Song, "mother mary, calm our fears, have mercy drowning in a sea of tears, have mercy. hear our mournful plea. our world has been shaken. we wander our homelands forsaken" - Requiem || This is a double feature of songs, because these songs are more of a personal choice to add rather than more of a specific character choice. With how I ended up making Atâhk as a person, he is empathetic, passionate, and a little bit overly sensitive. These songs, I imagine would have a similar effect on him as they did on me when I first sang them in choir, move him to tears. These songs are gorgeous and incredibly powerful.

Your Evening Porch - harren || you might need a little comfort after listening to those two songs, why not have a comfort song of mine and Atâhk's? He listens to a variety of genres and styles, but this? this song, this vibe, this is absolutely his favourite.

#crows can use keyboards?#crow's content #crow's characters #serverbox au #lastintheserverbox #serverbox au (kp)#electronicdissonance #Krow 'Scar' Scarlet (oc)#Dahlia 'Dot' Whitacre (oc)#Atâhk Aster Allen (oc)#kinitopet oc #kinitopet

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little-paperboat · 8 months ago

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Through Shadows To The Edge Of Night (3)

Here we goooo! Final chapter of "Through Shadows" is out, one day earlier than planned! 🧡 I'm super excited, it was so much fun to write! It's over 6,600 words too!! Twice as long as my usual chapters, which I didn't expect initially, but during the editing process I chose to merge the ending dialogue with another one that I had written for a later chapter, as I found it made more sense.

I'm glad that Tav and Rolan are finally having more interaction... and a little misunderstanding I was craving to write since the beginning, including that *one* scene that I imagined all those months ago and made me want to write this fic 😏

I hope you'll like it! The next part of the series will finally bring us to Baldur's Gate and to Sorcerous Sundries, and well, who knows what will happen then 👀 I'm planning to release it on next Saturday. You can follow the tag "series:forbidden fire" here on tumblr to not miss it when it comes out 🌸

And of course, I'm so grateful for all the comments, kudos and support! The Holy Rolan Empire is truly a gem, you guys are wonderful and it's super heartwarming to be part of such a kind community with so many talented artists and writers 🥹 ❤️

Read on AO3 (3/3)

Read Part 1: Wild Winds Are Death To The Candle (2/2)

She took a step towards him.

“Rolan?”

This broke him out of his stupor, his eyebrows perking up, frowning, and finally coming closer. Had he always been this tall?

“Tav,” he replied sternly.

Her name rolled off his tongue with ease, and something surged within her; wishing that he’d say it more often, whisper it against her skin, his lips caressing the shell of her ears— Wait, what? No! She had done so much for him, against her better judgement even, and he had been nothing but rude and a pain in the ass. No: she wouldn’t be so easily swayed. The ball was in his court, and her expectations were high. She wouldn’t be distracted by nonsense.

She crossed her arms, unimpressed, trying to appear as nonchalant as possible.

“You brought them back,” he said finally, his eyes finding hers, a hint of hesitation colouring his deep voice. Once again, she found herself hypnotised by the golden flames dancing against the moonless sky of his eyes. “I thought my entire family was dead, and you… you brought us back together.” His voice was soft, almost emotional. She didn’t even know he could speak like this.

“Don’t mention it,” she croaked out. What was wrong with her? Gods, she needed to get a grip, now.

“You have no cause to be humble. You did the impossible and you went out of your way to help us when most people would’ve left us to die - or worse.”

Maybe she liked it better when he yelled at her, after all. At least it didn’t make her heart beat so fast.

There was a pause, but before she could speak, he continued.

“I’ve lashed out at you, drunkenly and otherwise, and you helped anyway.” She fought back a smile, biting the inside of her cheeks to physically stop her lips from stretching. “You didn’t deserve that. I’m sorry. And, thank you.”

Was this real? Was this really happening? She tilted her head up at him and wished that she didn’t imagine his own gaze flickering to her lips.

“Why are you being nice?” she asked in a hushed voice.

“Because you were. I still don’t quite understand why you decided to help us - to help me, but you did.” He seemed to remember something, and handed her a small purse. “It’s only right that you get something in return.”

A bag of gold sat in the palm of his hand, heavy and full. She paled, suddenly ill at ease. Was he giving her his savings?

“Rolan, no. I can’t accept it.” It was absurd. Actually, it was offensive.

His eyes darkened.

“No? Is that not good enough for you?”

“On the contrary, it’s way too much. Really, I… I don’t need gold. I don’t, I swear.”

She didn’t know how to explain to him that the sum he was handing her was probably less than her weekly allowance as a teen.

Not that she was the kind of selfless person who refused to be paid for her services. Quite the opposite, actually: half her life so far had been dedicated to finding ways of getting and spending money, without any concern in the world for those who didn’t have any.

But, well. Being catapulted in the middle of a refugee camp without any gold piece to spare had somewhat altered her perspective, and now she did feel bad about taking money from people in need when she knew her own coffers were still overflowing at home.

“I don’t need a reward,” she continued. “You keep it, for you, and Lia and Cal, for when—”

“Take it, Tav.” He cut her, annoyance sharp in his voice. Clearly, he would obviously feel beyond insulted if she refused it, but at the same time, she really didn’t need it. Although, it could benefit the group, if only temporarily…

She chewed on her bottom lip, indecisive, before reluctantly taking the coin purse from him, swearing to herself that she’d find a way to give it back somehow. Her obedience seemed to please him, and he gave her a satisfied smirk that ignited a fire in her belly, a violent desire coursing through her veins.

She wanted to know how his lips would feel against hers, how his body would react to her touch; to see pleasure etched over his handsome features and to hear him say all those nice things again, and then some. To see him happy, pleased; to make him lose his composure and show him how good it would feel to not be a stuck-up prick.

She wanted to kiss him - she really did.

And she wanted it now, even if he hated her.

She had dealt with worse than that.

“I didn’t tell Cal and Lia about what happened,” she said instead, inching just a bit closer, batting her eyelashes just so - giving him that one sultry look that always got her tangled in bedsheets under an hour.

“I know,” he said with a strained smile.

“You’re welcome,” she teased.

He let out a breathy laugh.

“I thanked you once already. Don’t be greedy.”

A glint of mischief burned in his eyes and she felt herself smirk, the flames of desire burning brighter. Oh, she was greedy alright - all she needed was a sign that he wasn’t just being polite, something, anything to let her know that he was also curious about her, and she would show him exactly just how greedy she could be.

— Read the rest on AO3 :)

#rolan x tav #holy rolan empire #rolan nation #series:forbidden fire #fic:wild winds #fic:through shadows #tag:writing #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 rolan

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academyofbrokenhearts · 1 year ago

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Of Nightmares and Late Night Encounters

Kaya has a nightmare and Suna wakes him up. The rest, as they say, is history. One-shot.

My brain came up with this scene late at night on Christmas Eve, when I was trying to fall asleep, and it (obviously) didn't leave me alone until I actually wrote the entire thing. As mentioned in the tags, I have no idea how KaySun will evolve in canon, so I don't know how (or if) what I wrote here will fit in with the show. But whatever. This fandom deserves nice things.

AO3 link here.

Suna had been a light sleeper for most of her life.

It was like her subconscious was finely tuned in to catch even the smallest sign of something not being right in her environment. As a child, she would always wake up and reach out to Seyran whenever her sister had nightmares, her touch and whispered words always more than enough to soothe her and return her to a calm sleep. If she couldn't protect Seyran from the regular horrors of the day, she could at least protect her from the horrors that were haunting her sleep - which, Suna suspected, were the same anyway.

She had kept the habit of waking up at least once per night as an adult, even after Seyran had married and left her proximity, never truly being able to enjoy an uninterrupted night of sleep, always on edge.

She had enjoyed a change in her sleeping pattern only since marrying Kaya. Having him around during the night was comfortable in a way she hadn't expected. Kaya was keeping to himself for the most part, and, outside of the moments when they were being intimate, was extra careful to not cross into her personal space, putting a respectful distance between the two of them. He was also an exceptionally calm sleeper, not moving much during the night; he would fall asleep on his belly, hugging a pillow, and Suna suspected that's how he would usually wake up as well, although, thanks to her newfound ability to sleep without interruption during the night, she hadn't yet had the chance to wake up before him to test her theory.

So when she unexpectedly wakes up during what appeared to initially be just another regular night, she knows something is amiss.

With her mind still slightly foggy, she looks next to her, at Kaya who's still asleep (on his back, she quickly takes note), and at first cannot quite believe her eyes, but sure enough, she has seen a similar picture many times before. Kaya's breath is accelerated, his fingers clutching the sheet, the pillow on the floor, away from his grasp, and yeah, all signs point out to him having a nightmare.

A heartbeat passes, and she's not quite sure what she should do - if she should do anything at all. But then a brief pained moan escapes his lips, so her need to soothe takes over, and she reaches out to him, touches his forehead gently with her palm.

He wakes up with a shudder, and Suna almost backs off, but his eyes quickly focus on her, and he catches her hand with his before she can completely withdraw it.

"Suna," he whispers.

"I'm sorry," Suna whispers back, not exactly knowing what to say. "It looked like you were having a nightmare."

He swallows once, twice. "Yeah, I think I was," he says, no longer looking at her. "Did I bother you?"

He looks uncomfortable, and Suna remembers his reaction the morning after he had fallen asleep crying in her arms. At the time, she had thought he was being distant to punish her, but looking at him now, she realises it was probably also because he didn't like showing his hidden vulnerability.

"Don't worry about that," she replies. "I'm a light sleeper normally."

His features relax a bit, and he turns on his side to look at her, his hand still on hers. "Sorry anyway," he says. "I don't know why, but I don't seem to sleep well on my back."

A pause, then he adds:

"But I didn't know you're a light sleeper. It's a bit surprising."

"I used to be a light sleeper, at least," Suna amends, and for a moment she thinks whether it's okay to share this with him or not, but they did promise to be honest with each other, and she doesn't see what harm it could bring. So she adds: "It seems like I sleep better with you around."

His gaze becomes pensive, and he studies her for a while, without saying a word, his hand moving slightly over hers in touches just as gentle as her own touch on his forehead earlier. Suna feels her cheeks reddening slightly, but holds his gaze, waiting.

He eventually speaks again:

"Suna, is it okay if I hold you for a while?"

And she doesn't know what pushes her to say it. Maybe it's the fact that it's late at night, maybe it's the constant gentleness he treats her with, his great care around her, the respect regarding her boundaries, the way he looks in semidarkness, eyes on her. Maybe all of those at once.

But she says it.

"You can do much more than hold me. If you want."

He doesn't say a thing, but, before she can even start to second guess herself, his lips are on hers, and his kiss is hot and heavy.

Even with all her lack of experience and general shyness in intimate situations, Suna doesn't think Kaya realised that she was technically a virgin during their first night together.

Because he took so much time, touching her intently, pausing to ask her whether it felt good, encouraging her initially timid touches as well, that by the time he entered her, she was so relaxed that it didn't hurt, and she never bled.

He never quite asked her what happened in her first marriage; he probably suspects she was assaulted, but never asked for any details, and that's something she's quietly grateful for. She doesn't think she can share with anyone the sort of humiliation she was made to endure. Not even with him; not yet, anyway. She doesn't know why, but she feels deep in her core that he wouldn't judge her.

She's not used to ask for what she wants; she was always in the background of her own life, never being able to oppose whatever bad things would happen to her at any given moment.

There's nothing bad about this, though, nothing bad about the way his arms hold her, nothing bad about his lips on her throat, nothing bad about his whisper in her ear "you can stop me if I become too rough", nothing bad about his hands on her bare skin.

He's indeed less gentle than the previous times they did it, his hands wandering around more freely, his touch a bit more insistent, his whispers more commanding: "tell me how to do it, tell me how you like it", words that would normally make her blush in any other situation, but not here, not with him.

She feels him deep inside of her, intensity building up to the point that she can barely hold herself together, and it's frightening, but also exhilarating. "Let go," he murmurs, "let go, let go, I won't be able to last long either", and that's what finally sends her over the edge.

When she returns from the bathroom, she expects to see him already clothed, as it usually happens after their intimate encounters. But he lays between the sheets in the same position he was when she left, and, as far as she can see, he's still naked.

She pauses for a bit, then, almost without realising, slips out of her robe and lets it fall to the ground before climbing back into bed.

He reacts immediately, moving towards her, hands touching her tenderly. "Is it okay like this? Sorry, I didn't really feel like moving, but I can-" and then he pauses, and she knows he realised she's also naked behind the sheets.

"It's okay," she smiles. "It's comfortable."

His head moves towards her shoulder, his body almost completely covering hers, and Suna holds him gently, her fingers playing with his hair. She feels him from head to toe, a pleasant warm weight on top of her.

It's beautiful. It's scary.

She thinks she knows what love is, but she doesn't quite know how to define this, whatever it is that's between them. She just knows she doesn't want it to end.

"Suna," she hears him speaking. "Will you hold me like this for a bit longer?"

And so she gives the only answer that wouldn't sound like a lie: "Always."

He's still asleep when she wakes up in the morning.

#Yalı Çapkını #Yali Capkini #Kaya Sönmez #Suna Şanlı #Kaya Sonmez #Suna Sanli #KaySun #fan fiction #Of Nightmares and Late Night Encounters #writing #made by me #someday I will stop writing for the clown show #today is not that day #I have no idea if this scene will fit in canon or not #probably not because it's something I came up with on Christmas Eve #late Christmas present for the fandom #İfakat evil voice in the background: and now kiss!#why do they own me so bad

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