marisoil

[marisoil]

𝑫𝐎𝐄 𝐄𝐘𝐄𝐒

summary: post-rumbling, reiner decides to pay you a visit. somewhere along the night he realizes he wants more than he’s allowed himself to have.

an: first ever time writing a oneshot this is wild!! thereʼs not enough canon-verse fics on here. ily reiner plz have my kids.

genre: fluff

word count: 2,040

the walk to your little house feels like a pilgrimage, the quiet paths are different now, quiet like everything else in this strange peace, but his feet know the way. every step bringing him closer to you feels like something that’s his alone, something he’s stolen from whatever fate has decided for him. as his feet drag along the asphalt, he feels it, that old feeling he’d buried deep, kept under the lock of duty and war and shame. he canʼt his finger on it, partially because he isnʼt used to feeling it and the other reason being his unease at embracing the ferocious ardency heʼs inclined to feel for you and you only. it feels something like want, like yearning. thereʼs a hunger that lies dormant in the depths of his stomach for your presence, he craves it. it’s become something primal. when you’re not there, it’s like you’ve left a sunken space in him that he can’t fill. the feeling is so strong it drives him delirious, his mind tricking him into seeing you everywhere in everything all at once.

he’ll catch the faintest whiff of something sweet and saccharine, and he turns too quickly, thinking for a split second that you’re there, only for reality to empty itself into disappointment. it’s maddening, truly. he should count himself lucky that you look at him with adoration, not hate or disgust. it's a wonder to him, really, the way your irises sussurate with an adoration he cannot quantify, as if he could never disappoint you. it clutches his sternum in a brutal, unrelenting grip, he feels the weight of it in his throat, an unfamiliar pulse. being tethered to the horrifying vastness of your adoration for him is both a sufferance and a delight.

each time your eyes cut into him, something feral stirs, absurd in its magnitude. it is not want; it is collapse, an insatiable entropy dragging him toward visions fabricated entirely of you, a universe where only your form exists. he craves the things he can't have, for things he knows he doesn't deserve. he aches for the wreckage of your voice, the way a certain word escalades from your throat. his name resting on the tip of your tongue. reiner.

he knows he's being greedy, but can he be blamed? he wants your presence beside him, filling the air with something honest when the night unspools the seams of everything he’s hidden from himself. he wants the sound of your footfall, the solace of your soft hands soothe over the wounds he’s long since tried to veil. it’s all he can do not to scream for it. your very existence fills his senses until there’s no room for anything else. he’s greedy, he knows that. but it feels less like a sin and more like the only truth left when he reaches for you.

reiner finds himself hesitating just outside your door, his hand hovering in the air as he gathers his breath, eyes fixed on the warm glow spilling from your window. he’s been here before, he’s seen that same light, the one that makes your home feel like something from a memory he’s never had, but tonight, something feels different. maybe it’s him. maybe it’s just the need to see you, to feel something warm and alive again. the front porch was adorned with little plants in mismatched pots, vibrant green against the earthy wood. it suited you—warm, welcoming, a sanctuary. his breath hangs in the air, and for a second, he almost turns back. he almost turns back, almost lets the fear swallow him but he can’t, not after all this time, not after all the misery he self-inflicted upon himself all for the sake of loving you secretly. so, he raises a hand, knocking softly.

soon enough you open the door and there he is, broad and tired, standing on your doorstep as if he were exactly where he was meant to be. for a moment, you just look at each other. you stand there with the light falling around you in soft, warm colors, a subdued inhalation of surprise escaping your lips and reiner has to remind himself to breathe. there’s something so simple, so uncomplicated about this, about you in the doorway, framed by a house that feels alive with your residence. you don’t know what he sees in you, standing there in your small, homey world, but you can see it on his face, that hint of awe barely masked by his usual serene demeanor. then his expression shifts, softened by a small, familiar smile.

“i figured iʼd check in on you,” he says, voice a little lower than usual, “i wanted to see how you were settling in.”

you smile, “thatʼs sweet of you.” stepping aside, you motioned for him to step inside, “come in and see for yourself! i’m pretty proud of the place, actually.”

as he steps over the threshold, you notice him looking around, his gaze catching on the simple things—the plants in their little mismatched pots, the scarf you left over the back of a chair, your books stacked on shelves that barely hold them all. it’s all you, every inch of it, and he never wants to leave.

“oh i love it here,” you beam, almost shy, and he can’t tear his eyes away from the way you look in this moment, pride and warmth written across your face. “it’s just…it’s mine and i’ve never had that before.”

he only nods. “it suits you.”

you brighten. “i don’t have tea,” you tell him, “but i do.have hot chocolate. i know, technically itʼs not in season but this is my house and i get to do what i want sooo..?” you grin, eager to be a good host.

“hot chocolate sounds perfect,” he says, laughing softly to himself with a specific bliss only you can evoke within him. as you moved around the kitchen, pulling out mugs and heating the milk, reiner lets himself relax, sinking into the cozy couch. you hummed softly to yourself, how at home you seemed here, in this space youʼd made. and for a fleeting moment, he imagined coming here every evening, finding you here, waiting for him. it was silly but it made him giddy.

you finish and bring the hot chocolate over, handing him a chipped mug filled with the warm, rich drink, and he takes it. you settle beside him, watching as he takes a sip, his eyes closing as the sweet liquid pools into his mouth. it was rich, sweet, with just a hint of something extra—cinnamon, maybe? it was unexpected, and he smiled to himself. it tastes like you, somehow, although he doesnʼt yet have evidence to back that statement up. he wonders if you know how good it feels just to sit here, to be near you, to let himself soften in your presence.

“thanks.”

the night wears on and a gentle drowsiness settles over you. fighting back a yawn, glancing at the clock, realizing how late it’s gotten and he’s already reaching for the mugs on the table.

“let me help you with those,” he says, gesturing to the mugs on the table.

“oh,” you say, a little flustered, “you don’t have to—”

but he’s already at the sink, sleeves rolled up as he rinses the chocolate stained mugs, his movements practiced like he was made for a life of domesticity. the sight of him washing your dishes, his large hands so gentle and careful, tugs at something deep inside you. he’d be a good father, you think suddenly, your heart skipping a beat at the thought. he has that quiet strength, that steady patience, the kind of man who’d hold a child like they were made of glass. he turns, catching you watching him, and you can feel the blush creeping up your cheeks.

“what?” he asks softly and you shake your head, shrugging. “nothing.”

he walks back over, stopping just a little closer than before, closer than friends should be. you rise from your reclined position on the couch, his eyes follow you. he’s not sure what to do with the tension hanging between you, but he knows he can’t look away.

“reiner,” you whisper, voice barely audible, your eyes soft and warm as they meet his. you rise just slightly on your toes, fingers reaching for his hand where it lingers behind your ear, drawing it down and entwining your fingers with his. his heart stutters as he feels your grip tighten. you lean in, your lips brushing against his in a kiss so soft, so tender, that he feels something in him unravel, something he’s held tightly for so long finally slipping free. you part slowly, his breath hitches, lips still tingling from your kiss, and he instinctively darts his tongue out to wet them, savoring the lingering taste. a faint sweetness coats his mouth, the subtle warmth of chocolate mingling with the softness of you. it’s rich and a little bitter, melting slowly on his tongue, leaving him wanting more of the quiet indulgence that you’d just shared.

and then, without warning, he feels the tears start to fall, warm and wet against his cheeks, spilling over before he can stop them. he tries to pull away, tries to hide it, but your hands are there, steady and sure, cradling his face as he breaks, his shoulders shaking with the force of emotions he can’t contain.

you pull back, eyes wide, a flicker of panic crossing your face as you take in his tears, the way he’s falling apart in front of you.

“reiner?” you whisper, voice filled with worry. “are you okay? did i do something wrong?”

he quickly shake his head no, tries to find the words, but all he can manage is a choked sob, his voice thick and broken as he tries to speak. “i’m sorry,” he murmurs, his voice barely audible. “i just…i never thought iʼd feel this way.”

your expression softens, and you pull him closer, your arms wrapping around him as he clings to you, letting himself be held, letting himself fall apart in your embrace. he clings to you, burying his face in your shoulder as the tears continue. there’s relief in the way you hold him, in the warmth of your arms wrapped around him. he feels himself melt into you, surrendering to the comfort, and embracing the way he’s laid himself bare before you.

“i don’t want to go back home tonight.”

you smile, a warmth in your gaze that sends a shiver through him. “then stay,” you whisper, voice barely above a breath.

and in that moment, he knows he doesn’t want to be anywhere else.