#i only made some b&w
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[ID in ALT] I've made posts before about Talia/Dick co-parenting Damian moments (will never happen but let me dream) and this came to me in a vision. Took me ages to finish for some reason 😭 and then even longer to post
#dc comics#dc#damian wayne#dick grayson#talia al ghul#batfamily#dc robin#nightwing#anyway. yes im a self-indulgent ''dick as damians secret third parent'' truther#like i DO think it's way more complex and nuanced than the schmoopy affectionate fan portrayal of it#they're brothers they're father and son they're partners they're the dynamic duo except only in past tense etc etc#but consider! I'm not immune to schmoopy affection in fanworks. it compells me despite itself#anyway it's technically not that crazy when it comes to dick and damian. they hug! often! at least they did#it's not as big a leap to these types of scenarios#also talia ''somewhat absent for complex reasons on both her and damians part but very loving and loved by her son'' al ghul#you will always be famous to me#son of the demon origin...bwahhh#anyway. someone made a comic kind of like this/like a post i made abt this topic#but way funnier bc dick and talia starting trying to beat each other up#so go look at that as well#anyway. it's been a somewhat difficult few weeks so I'm. desperately trying to take it easy#i got some reading with me (first vol of kevin smiths GA run that i found second hand and jaimes BB run vol 2!)#so we'll see how far i get through those. considering there's demons in my head telling me to re-read things (LET ME OUT!!!)#when i finish GA and BB i do plan on rereading robin 2021. as a treat to myself#it's a run I've really warmed up to as time went on#I'm keeping up w/ the current b&r run even though it is. admittedly very slow w/ some weird dialogue#i read it for the damian content more than anything. also nikas back so that's neat :]#idk I have a feeling that after absolute power shakes out we might get some more creative team switch ups#so if anyone at dc is interested in taking over the reigns on b&r...that could be very neat#mine
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Lackadaisy Enrichment
#in our enclosures!!#video linked as source; which i'm glad to see already has a million views and is trending. That's Right#lackadaisy#WHICH i have been reading since at least '07 when i was thirteen my god b/c this animation is based on the ongoing webcomic#like does its influence show up Directly in some Discrete way i can point to in my art? not very easily probably. And Yet.#the inspiration....i wasn't able to be Regularly Only for at least another year / art done Nonprofessionally Online was novel to me#like wow ppl can make & post fanart of w/e they love huh....didn't know webcomics were a thing & i never really read that many since but.#good god the quality of Lackadaisy at its onset is like this is superb?? this person putting in all their talent and effort???#and Then you get years & years more art and i don't even know what superlatives to throw out abt its quality as it evolves. obsessed w/it..#if i see a new lackadaisy comic page i Will be acting out. obviously this animation is a delight & also stunning. and fascinating to also#juxtapose as a Translation / Interpretation of the comic in a different medium & standalone snippet of Story#and that we're not even quite there in the comic timeline; Taking Notes abt character info we get distilledly here....genuinely love like#take it back to '07 i'm like oh boy can't wait for the dream team to assemble. then a decade later when it did? Oh Boy. that is payoff lol#namely hooray for stitches and mudbug at the field office for every passing gangster. killing one marigold associate but not the other#which seems like a promising start to shootouts w/the other dream team triumvirate. i adore that in canon so far mordecai freckle & rocky#have met but only over a nice brunch. re: all intentions anyways. anyways i'm like Gifs Must Be Made while i'm also so riled afresh abt the#comic that i've been sooo hype for for over fifteen yrs now babeyyy Deservedly. i've done a couple of rereads & ought to do another....#For Interest it'd probably take a few sittings to catch up from the start but there is much to be engaged over....this ongoing story that's#historical fiction prohibition bootlegging cats with plenty of focus on characters & several Mysteries. which i'm better at parsing now lol#like one of the more recent rereads like Oh Of Course x (probably) accidentally killed his y & z took the fall & that's a binding secret...#Not [oh of course] abt the circumstances surrounding a's death & how b & c were involved. nor the ''what's marigold's damage'' mystery#which is great. love to not know things. love that we can readily follow all the emergent drama everyone's wading in nowadays. hell yeah#anyways admire my organized approach to gifs here. four shots each Expressions Atmosphere Action Groupshots#sure might've muddled through gifmaking for this anyways but fr being a huge lackadaisy comic enjoyer for now most of my life helps#and its very Overall Inspiration like. just really getting the [you can really just draw stuff out here] going. fr the art's detail & skill#and that enrichment like i'm gonna have a great time following this. And I Have#you don't expect a crowdfunded indie animation in the mix back then but hell yeah fellas#SIGH ok removing a 4th gif that's broken / not displayed despite reuploading then entirely remaking it. if it's a bug i'll try again later
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scrolled a little too far back on mogetwt and found pure gold:
#i miss mitsumona… i love asumona y e s but mitsumona~~~~~~~~~~~~~~#‘where were you when this part of idol sengen was being serialised?’ trapped outside due to regionlock s o b s#man… looking at idol sengen on piccoma again like. gosh. 7.9 million hearts/likes so trueeeee#which do you think we’ll get first: mitsuki mv (a la gijirenai) or idol sengen s2?#the crumbs we get of her in mona mvs isnt enoughhhhhhhh aaaaa#even a 1 image mv would do!!! just give us a tiny bit more of her plsssss#i wanna know what made mona such a huge fan of hers~~~~~~~#though. the way mona specifies that she only likes girl idols will forever be funny to me#she really can’t care less about lxl huh… so true of her tbh#girl idols are a m a z i n g (<-weakling who tears up while watching love live live recordings)#like. man. props to the casting directors or sth bc. m a n their stage presence is unreal for idol vas#like waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa if you told me the vas were idols themselves id believe you#rkk was so cute. and aik.yan was super cool (esp during her solo) a n d ain.ya was both cute and cool and!!!!!!!!!#but um!!!! i digress!!!! anyways stan girl idols (esp mona) lxl w h o—#i think i’ll forever be envious of those who’ll be able to watch nan.su’s mona oneman live though… no foreigners allowed (how sad)…#though y’all should def check out some of nan.su’s other songs!! her powerful songs are so cool (imo)…#but i think she’s actually really good at singing songs with cheering/chanting portions lmfaooo the monachan lives on#i think hw should give mona more cool-ish songs though… let nan.su show off her range!!!#though. while im on the topic. i think sena should have cool songs too. narumi sisters cool song p l s s s s s#(bc my hot take over here is that hw doesn’t let their vas show off their full range *c o u g h s* i m e a n—)#what am i even on anymore h e l p started on mitsumona ended up in narumi sisters cool song desires…#anyways!!!! stream silent sword (both the og by ama.miya sora and the cover by nan.su) that’s all goodbye
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It’s so embarrassing and heartbreaking being in so much pain over losing someone while knowing they don’t give a fuck if you live or die. Your favorite person becoming a stranger is a special kind of hell.
#I fucking hate having bpd#while I’m at it I don’t understand the fuckin audacity some people have to say they love you and do horrible things to you#I feel so stupid#I feel so stupid for believing all the lies#but I was so in love and put him on such a pedestal that I just allowed it all.#thinking about someone constantly and grieving over them and knowing they’re perfectly fine and to them you don’t exist#I’m still in such a state of grief and I don’t understand why time hasn’t healed#it honestly feels like it’s gotten worse w time#I just torture myself but I can’t help it my brain wants me dead#it’s so painful I feel so fucking stupid#being abandoned with no closure by someone who’s your entire world#for someone they were unfaithful to you with multiple times (I don’t even know how many and dony want to know) immediately#like that was the plan all along#he took our cat hundreds of miles away and I don’t even know if he still has her or if she’s still alive and I miss her every day#I never loved someone like that and it feels like the heartbreak is actually physically killing me#i spent 1/5 of my entire life with him#I was my prettiest and had the best body at the time and I wasted it on someone who didn’t appreciate me#not wasted. it wasn’t wasted. we had some incredible times together#I’ll never be that beautiful again#and now idk what do so bc i can’t decide which is worse: being alone and isolating or loving deeply and ending up horribly hurt all over#it’s all just so upsetting.#and I feel so stupid for allowing it all#he knows more about me than anyone and he made me feel like he loved me so much sometimes and then did horrid things and it’s so fucked up#nobody read this I’m so embarrassed and horribly broken#it traumatized me so much there was so much abuse and pain idk if I’ll ever recover#I deserved it but it still hurts my heart#I was so mentally ill and sick I know it had to have been miserable to be around me#there are so many things only he understands and knows about me and I need to talk about them I j wanna b able to b there 4 each other#but that girl is so beyond insecure and controlling so. if I want to talk to who fuckin gets me I’m just fucked#why lead someone on like that for years knowing you’re going to abandon them the second it’s convenient
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i think it should be possible to scream without making any noise or disturbing anyone or inviting any questions . just sometimes . as a treat .
#hhhhHHHGHGHHHHHH#jay screams into the void#(deeply personal rant incoming feel free to ignore)#a friend of mine has just been undiagnosed with bpd which . lovely for them but it sure as fuck invites a Lot of questions#suddenly a great deal of previous shitty behaviour that was excused on the basis of bpd has a lot more to answer for#(obligatory I Know BPD Isn't An Excuse To Treat People Like Shit . im aware . i have bpd myself and i have v high standards re my behaviour)#(however allowances were made bc they were unmedicated & out of therapy through no fault of their own)#(and our whole group has enough experience with untreated mental illness to understand that it can make u a bitch sometimes)#but yeah no there have been a LOT of instances of b&w thinking + manipulation + unfair judgement + high emotion + snap reactions#and every situation Could be explained by untreated bpd and the bad times have never been prolonged or often enough to outweigh the good#but Hoo Boy if that wasn't bpd then what the FUCK was it#like either the new psychiatrist is wrong (possible but i seem to be the only one questioning it) or they're just Like That#and again . not enough to outweigh their numerous positive and loveable traits#but the whole group has been destabilised on a number of occasions due to their actions during a bad spell#and i'm really not sure Any Other Explanation is enough to justify that#ah well . this seems like the kind of thing that will eventually come up during a sleepover heart to heart#but rn i'm stuck in a bubble of MAJOR rsd & brainfuck abt it . which is unfortunate bc now is exactly the time i Don't need brainfuck#anyways ✨ goodnight tumblrinas i am . kind of hoping nobody read this bc i fear i sound like a bitch#i am genuinely happy for their undiagnosis it seems to have put many things into perspective for them & theyre v happy about it#i'm just . uncomfy w some aspects of it that i have only been halfway brave enough to discuss with them personally#That's One To Bring Up With My Therapist In A Few Weeks#Bit Of A Shame I'm No Longer In Therapy And Now Have Only 2 Quarterly Reviews Left Before I'm Discharged From The Service
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hm. i do not like chilshi 🤔
#sylph.txt#everyone likes to joke abt how much of an epic divorce man chilchuck is#but i dont think he ever even refers to her as his ex-wife. i could b wrong bc it's been a while since i read it tho#idk a lot of his arc is him learning to b more open w others (which is essentially what ended his relationship)#and u can see how much he's grown in the chapter where senshi goes into his past#to me it would b a lot sweeter for him to take on these lessons and go back to her and make things work#it's been 4 years but he's remained loyal to her depite their issues. idk to me it rlly does feel like he still loves her he's just a fool#it's made p clear that he's a coward and that he's quick to run away so actually committing to her would b a nice way to wrap things up#we don't get to see much of his wife so i get y ppl r quick to put him w the only other man in the party#but like senshi knows abt his wife too like i do not think he's gnna b making any moves here bc he has morals lmao#(*only other older man in the party. laios doesn't qualify for old man yaoi to most chilshi likers)#(even tho chilchuck isn't old either but shh they don't care abt that)#when it comes to senshi the changeling chapter def helped him w understanding how old the rest of the party is#but he clearly still views them as significantly younger than him#i don't think he views chil as a child anymore but for the majority of their time together he did#and so going from that to in a relationship is uhh rlly weird to me!#senshi has always taken a sort of parental role upon himself#w him romance is no where as interesting as the platonic bonds he has w the rest of the party#similar to how romance is entirely unimportant to izutsumi in the succubus chapter#idk i def don't hate the pairing and there r some takes on it that i find funny#but for me i just don't see anything between them i think ppl just want an m/m ship to play with#that ao3 gap is only gnna get bigger lmao
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think i found a fake georgia o'keeffe painting lol
#this has been an original post#personal spewage#like. not a real painting someone is trying to pass off as a georgia o'keeffe#just. an image online that is being credited as by her#but not only do i suspect it's not. i don't even know where it _is_ from#like i think it might've been created just to be attributed to her? or something?#like this might be one of those things where it made the leap from physical sources to digital and lost its citations along the way or w/e#but uhhhh. i don't think so#the earliest reference to it i could find was in 2007 on a random art history site (not affiliated w any actual organization/museum/etc)#after that it's all. freaking. pinterest/instagram/tumblr#anyway i emailed the georgia o'keeffe museum abt it. hopefully they get back to me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#this matters to me okay! i love her work!#i hate that when everyone sees one of her pieces all they think is “hur dur that looks like a vag”#a) that was not her intention and b) jesus christ can you think with something other than your reproductive organs for five fucking minutes#yes some things in nature are going to look phallic and/or yonic#you can have a good chuckle over it but then _move on_#not everything is about sex/sexuality/the human body#sometimes ppl just want to paint pretty flowers#-sigh-#anyway#that's been my crusade today
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like this guy.the star
(based on this post by artwheat)
#y is this my only astarion art ever. i should fix that#bean bart#yoru#i cant fandomtag this ..dont look at me guys#edit: ok thinking abt jt its even funnier elves barely sleep like hes absolutely stuck being clung to for the whole night#ast is NOT moving from that spot bc itll wake up yoru (semi-light sleeper)#i think i made yoru a halfelf so having him b kinda resilient to sleep is cute..mainly in terms of staying up a little later w ast to talk#mb ast teaches yoru some better trance/meditation techniques to help him calm his mind (selfishly its so they can stay up longer tgth)
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Spacie I will be honest I knew we were mutuals for quite a while but I always thought it was more in a respective: hey there neighbor
Or a: your a mutual of a mutual so imma just hang or even just a: respectable nod between two strangers
because I didn't want to push anything
Until I saw the tags of something you reblogged from me and I literally was just like: YOU LIKE ME??? YOU SEE ME AS A FRIEND???? IMMA CRY RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW-
WAAA?? OF COURSE I DO BITTY XD YOU GOOBER
#nah brah cuz as soon as mutuals start dming me on a semi frequent basis or we start hanging out in the same spaces i consider you my friend#i have mutuals who i only consider mutuals and not friends for sure!! but like-#bitty you are definitely a friend of mine XD how silly#spacie splains#love you bitty!!#mutuals who want 2 b friends but dont wanna push things feel free 2 talk 2 me i prommy im not so scary :33#neva eva feel insecure in your relationship w/me (@my friends)...and if you are talk 2 me about it!!#i will be happy 2 tell you how much i adore and appreciate you!!!#i mean if you're my friend ive probably already made it obvious but i am quite happy 2 love on you some more if ya need it!!!#in a lot of my friendships i mimic behavior once you have repeated something at me enough#its uhh something i calculate XD#“ohh if they do x behavior again then i will start reciprocating and mirroring said behavior at them...”#sometimes i test the waters and mimic the behavior but if they dont seem receptive i dont do it again until a later date#peek inta how my brain works (i have autism its quite obvious)
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love it when the fyp gives me a good post abt transmascs and not the weird bigotry a decent chunk of this website is convinced is praxis
#dis.txt#personal label situation / feelings are 4ever weird b/c of my IS variation but tmascs i love youuuuuu i love you forever#please never stop talking or making things or being vocal. i couldn't live in a world w/ out you all. like actually#never ever ever going to forget how it was mostly tmascs who helped me and reached out when i was at my lowest this year#maybe i'll feel comfortable enough one day to use the term w/ my whole chest but. regardless i love and support u#also transmasculine theory is the only theory i've seen which hasn't made me feel damaged in some way for my hormone situation... <3
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#why are people like….so mean#like some of u are way too invested in ts personal life which like I am too#but like….why is everyone soo dramatic about it when they have both made it so clear they have only wanted privacy for years#like people were all up ja ass and now everyone can’t wait to make the next funny joke about him like besties!!! leave the kid alone#regardless of why they b/u that’s between them and ts will say what she wants in her music like always just calm down#ur not affected by this why do u care so hard ts has all the support and love in the world there’s no need to put ja down for funsies#just gives me such a weird vibe like he’s never given anyone w reason to hate him so why not#now*???#anyways something happened and it made me mad and all I see are jokes about ja and it’s just really shitty leave them both alone jfc#mine
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lalala la la lal ala la u dont have to read this your decision heed the warning tag
#cw scat#whatever#i like it as a offhanded accessory to neglect fear death impending doom etc. purposely invoking discomfort#not that liking it for the sake of it is bad but. idk. different intentions/focus.#i say all this because im thinking abt 1 my ddays au scenario thing where party gets braindead from like encephalitis or a head injury or w#atever and its just him and kobra and ks distraught obviously and (uncharacteristically! hed gladly old yeller anyone else or even p in any#other situation but hes fucked up here) like half takes care of him sometimes and molests him and theres spells where he spaces out for a#day or so and comes too to the both of them withered away moreso than usual and filthy and. yeah. p dies after a bit and k molests him some#more then kills himself.#its good w ddays because everyone everywheres malnourished and dying and fucked off research chems or we constantly so like. failing bodily#functions arent even gross to them thrers bigger problems to deal w. could go on abt my interpretation of its social culture forever but i#wont. anyways.#and 2 frank getting murderraped by some huge muscley guy and shitting himself in terror and getting made fun of for it. idk. its only#upsetting for the first bit then his heads stomped in to where hes actively dying and cant process anything other than pain#also bonus chronic pain/incontinence frm abuse as a child also mostly care abt frank w this k bye#yeah theres my piece. dont be mean plz and thx#definitely wont b a regular topic either i just Had to type it all out to organize my thoughts#text
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i don’t think i could survive a serious conversation about my own elden ring build the last time i played i spent like thirty minutes at my favorite rune grinding spots until i got enough for two more levels somewhere in the level ~210 range and put them both into endurance for a whopping 72 endurance now
#‘whats ur build’ bad. i like having way too much endurance. i know about the caps i like having light equip load#i showed my friend my stats and his first question was about how my damage output was#its fine my weapons are maxed and their damage stats are kinda evenly leveled (arcane is left behind but that got added on late)#but i only recently reached 40 str. and then put two points into endurance#for some kind of context the higher you go in the stats the less returns you get n for endurance once you hit 60 you start getting crumbs#i think in general 60 is a cap across the board? idk. idc. im overleveled enough at 210 something i can fuck around#salty talks#delete later#maybe? im scared to tag this as elden ring im just talkin#my build is ‘fuck the meta im having fun’#im doing a bleed build (or w/e) specifically because i got bloody slash early on and thought it was fucking sick and got used to it#and then made my broadsword a blood broadsword later bc the bleed buildup and eventual b in str looked good and i had an excuse to level ar
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2005 timeline split theory is basically all but canon at this point. like it's not a theory anymore it's just how it works. i know this to be true in my brain
#proposed nmt3 lineup spoiler in tags ->#but like the b+w exists outside of all the timelines and there's only one instance of the lords in black + webby#and there's Some kind of linearity going on in there#the way they talk about mcnamara's absence and his 'i never left' from that one nmt opening#has always made me think that went he went into the b+w in black friday#it somehow erased him from every timeline#and the orbweaver synopsis only reinforces that#'awakens from a catatonic state' been floating around in the void outside space and time my guy???#we'll have to wait to see if we get that episode but GOD do i have thoughts#personal
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honestly i wish i could meet up w online friends but i am so filled w terror that my anxiety would make me so offputting and hateable instantly n then i wouldnt have any friends left HBJJBA,,,,, like,,, i cannot express just how bad my anxiety is between my avpd and never learning how 2 mask my autism i am probably the most naturally unlikeable person in existence n then id have to live w that maybe if i had just figured out how to fix myself first and make myself perfect n palatable then i wouldnt hav fucked it up like every other interaction irl
#i have literally never made a friend irl#and i am being genuine#i am a certified loser#the only friends i ever had were from a young age just . playdated and then we stayed in contact but never really were actual friends#everyone else is just like. why doesnt IT talk.......... or ur so funny..(freak)#like i dont do anything BAD but i . dont know how to hold a lot of conversations#or i say things too bluntly (not mean but just unexpected i guess?)#and it makes people laugh but. at me#not . like in a fun way#i always stuck to the fact i could b funny at least but then i never actually made friends because none of them actually liked me they just#liked how weird n awkward i was & how fun it was to make fun of me w their actual friends#they included me in some things but it was always just 2 watch my reaction#i spent so many years in relationships like that#i always ended up in one no matter where i went#i always just told myself if i just wait eventually someone will come along who i can actually get along w#but then whenever there was someone theyd just. leave eventually#because the only place i had 2 meet people was church like. programs?#youth group n etc#and more recently i think everyone just kinda accepts im the quiet one#so they dont talk to me#n i dont know how to start conversations so i dont talk 2 them#honestly thats why i appreciated that one guy from the youth connections program#he still always talked 2 me and included me but not in a forceful way#he took no as an answer#n he was cool#he was such an open n funky guy i wish i couldve talked to him more#because even tho he did make an effort i was still so awkward n scared i didnt talk much#he was super into helping animals n stuff n everyone made fun of him for that n i felt bad because i think thats the coolest shit#but i never got a chance 2 say it because how shutdown w anxiety i get
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wish me no more high school forever.Amen
#haha forgot my anxiety was .This Bad i think may b i should talk to someone abt it#but the thing I’m sick over is so silly and inconsequential and awkward and my fault thatd id feel stupid telling anyone#<- started giving out my chosen name nstead of given to my teachers except i lost my nerve and didnt give it to some and now just everythin#feels weird bc i only ever use my birth name for school stuff and chosen names w friends . And now I want to take it back but that’s#near impossible and if not still incredibly awkward and I just .#i like my classes !!! But I just made everything weird and stressful for myself and now idk what to do abt it and I just .never want to sho#my face there again .and well it doesnt help that im severely sleep deprived .maybe thats whats blowing everything out of proportion for me#vent#hrgh.#kat post
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