#i notice on mobile it doesnt sometimes?

[elysiuminfra]

i want to talk about walmart for a second. if you haven’t worked or known someone who worked for walmart, you probably don’t know how bad it is. most people don’t, so i want to talk about it.

there’s a points system for absences. if you miss work, and can’t cover it with accrued time off (because you don’t just Get time off - it builds up over time. it takes about a month of straight work to get a day off.) you get a point. five points and you’re at risk of termination. all managers - team leads, and above them, coaches - have the power to excuse points so that you don’t get fired. some do, so you don’t lose your job. most don’t. five days, that’s it.

if you miss more than three shifts of work due to a medical issue, you have to go through a third party company (which isn’t really third party.) to get a medical exception so you don’t lose your job. it is hard to get this. they need a lot of documentation to prove that you somehow deserved to miss work. they don’t accept regular doctors notes. this is somehow nebulously legal. you are also forced to work while sick and infectious. flu, strep, covid, doesnt matter for all departments except produce and deli. even then, they only send you home if you throw up *at work* or have food-related illnesses. every other department you’re not allowed to go home. more than likely you are being exposed to someone who’s sick at walmart, because its either come in sick or get fired.

i work hard. everyone *has* to work hard. you are on your feet 8 hours a day. you can’t sit. there are no surfaces to sit on. some departments are harder than others. i worked in OPD, the online grocery fulfillment department. i would walk, bare minimum, 7 to 8 miles a day, hauling sometimes over 200 pounds of groceries. every day. now i work in the deli. you are constantly moving. this is very typical for the deli - you are given too many tasks to perform in one day. most days i can barely get enough done. i know people don’t take their legally entitled second breaks. I know people who have to work off the clock just to get everything done. my department - as is *most other departments* - is understaffed. i cook, clean, work the slicer, and dispense food at the same time. and trust me when i tell you the standards of cleanliness in my department is high, but in practice it is very, very poor. simply because there is usually only one of us working back there, and we just can’t do everything right all at once.

none of the “fresh” food in the bakery / produce area is fresh. the bread is baked in store, but the dough is made and frozen elsewhere. sometimes it’s been frozen for weeks. everything is shockingly artificial. same with produce. you’re better off buying your produce elsewhere, or even locally. walmart has been fraught with recall after recall.

people are cheated out of retirements. so many people I know that are at retirement age simply can’t. there are people working here in their 70s. they are being overworked. there are a lot of teenagers that work up front. they are being overworked. I know two kids who are disabled that work the register. they aren’t allowed to sit. one had to fight to be able to get a medical accommodation and only got one when he threatened to sue, because not taking a doctor’s note for an accommodation is illegal. they do it anyways. there are so many people i know personally that are disabled, have chronic pain, have mobility issues, and can’t sit. or walk miles and miles a day. one of my coworkers recently quit because she tore both rotator cuffs in her shoulders from this job. this job disables you. it kills you. (just look up how many people have died on the job due to negligence. it is not a small amount.)

even the prices are fake. sales are fake. rollback is fake. i notice how things are priced and they rarely change, even when they say they’re on sale. it’s a scam. you are being scammed.

we are overworked and underpaid for our labor. (speaking of, wages used to be higher by several dollars a couple years ago. they lowered them. my department paid 20 an hour. it only pays 16 now. almost all other departments are at a flat 14. it used to be 16.)

wage theft, lack of breaks, overtime violations, lack of sick leave, chronic understaffing and chronic abuse from management, not terminating employees that sexually harass coworkers, and piles and piles and piles of responsibilities. all of this is to say, walmart only operates because of how much they exploit their workers, and it’s in the top of the Fortune 500 list. it is impossibly dire. and it is in EVERY SINGLE store, because that is just how the work culture operates.

all salaried management is also given guides on union busting. unionization is impossible. there was one store that they completely shut down because of successful unionization efforts, laying off hundreds of people, and blamed it on “faulty plumbing.”

one last thing - if you are assaulted by a customer, you cannot defend yourself. nobody can help you, because none of us are allowed to put our hands in any capacity on a customer. if you are assaulted, you have no choice but to run and hide. I’ve heard of a worker at my store that was assaulted repeatedly over several days from people who would come in and beat her. they weren’t banned, and she was fired for fighting back. if you fight back, you’re fired immediately, no exceptions.

all of this is to say shop elsewhere. buy locally. buy at other stores. you will get better quality items and produce literally ANYWHERE else. if you can’t, be kind to Walmart workers. theres abuse at every step of the chain. even on the supply side. walmart is a corporate dystopian monster that only makes its money off of intense labor violations.

tl;dr don’t shop at walmart. it’s not worth it

[cripplecharacters]

I have two disabled characters who are in a relationship. One uses a wheelchair and has double LLA (one above one below knee), whike the other is generally mobile and doesnt use any aids. Theyve been in a relationship for years, but mostly online rather than in person (the story takes place in person). Should I have them have a consent and boundaries (e.g. you can lift me but only if I ask or if i'm already using you to pull myself up, you may offer to help me move over difficult terrain but what path we take is my decision, im okay with you touching my nubs if you tell me youre gonna do it and wait for confirmation beforehand) talk 'on screen' or should it have happened earlier in/at the beginning of the relationship and be referenced to?

Sorry if this is confusing. I am disabled, so I have had to have these talks before, but I dont use a wheelchair and ive never been in a largely online relationship where physical stuff isnt relevant.

Hello!

This is a similar situation/dynamic to my boyfriend and I. Though we're not in an online relationship, we are long distance and most of our day-to-day interactions take place through texting or social media. Both of us are disabled but at different "levels" (So to speak).

While we have several disabilities in common (Autism, Tourette's, ADHD, etc.), the main difference is our levels in physical disability. He is paralyzed and uses a wheelchair full time. I have an undiagnosed disability that causes me chronic pain/limited mobility and use a cane and other mobility aids.

Above all else, though, we're both two separate people. We have different histories, opinions, and experiences. Most of our discussions about boundaries have actually been about language. While I reclaim the term "cripple" for myself to a degree, he doesn't. On the other hand, he prefers to be called "somebody with autism" while I prefer the term "autistic person".

These seem like small things to worry about but they're fairly important, both to our identity and our relationship. We have a sort of compromise in our relationship. I haven't changed my language entirely and neither has he, but we've both adjusted it. He uses the language he's comfortable with for himself, I use the language I'm comfortable with for myself. We generally stick to neutral language when speaking generally.

I mentioned that this is the only real discussion we've had about boundaries. The rest of it has happened more over time, usually in the form of correcting one another or elaborating on our needs and preferences.

Like with consent, it shouldn't just be one conversation. It's constantly evolving.

In your story, it may be best to show that. If you leave it as something that happens offscreen, it may be looked over. If you have a big conversation happen onscreen, it could undercut the seriousness of their relationship or come across as clunky.

Having this discussion be an ever-evolving series of small conversations instead can make it seem more natural and also help show how somebody's needs and preferences can change over time.

If you do want a conversation/discussion to happen that's specifically relevant to their online relationship, it could involve their boundaries and preferences around things such as language (What terms to use, which ones to avoid, etc.), photos/videos (Whether they can be shared, whether they can be requested, what parts of themself will be in them, etc.), talking about them to others (How much information they can give others about their partner's disability, etc.), etc.

The big thing with boundaries is that it's not a "one size fits all" thing. Somebody's boundaries will constantly be changing and shifting depending on the situation, the day, or even just their current mood.

At least for my boyfriend and I, the biggest thing is communication. There will be times where I notice he's struggling and will ask if he wants me to push him for a bit. Sometimes he does, sometimes he doesn't. But even if he's okay being pushed by me, I would never just randomly start pushing him without his consent.

With your characters, this could look something like one character asking the other if they need help doing something (Ex: "Do you want me to grab that for you?"). It could also look like one character correcting the other on language for themself (Ex: One character says, "This is my girlfriend, she's autistic." The other says, "Actually, I prefer being called a person with autism."). The character could explain why that is (Ex: "I was called autistic a lot as an insult and don't want to use that language for myself now.") or they can just leave it as is and let their preference be known.

As with any relationship, navigating consent can be a bit awkward at the beginning -- especially if this is your characters first time meeting in person. It's normal for them to stumble a bit and for there to be misunderstandings. For example, maybe one character accepts the other's offer of help but they have two different definitions of what "help" means in that context.

Of course, the nature of the conversation will differ depending on when they're having it. If it's happening during the online part of their relationship, it likely won't focus as much on physical things (When to help them, for example) and will instead focus on some of the other points such as language and discussing their disability with other people.

The last thing to keep in mind is that the process of discussing consent and boundaries looks different for everyone. The information I'm sharing is just my perspective on the matter. You'll have a different one, as will your disabled readers.

Cheers,

~ Mod Icarus

[crushedsweets]

i am so so sorry for the sheer amount of headcanons i'm making you crank out, HOWEVER... i am so curious as to if you have any headcanons for nina and natalie as a duo. i love the way you perceive them and write them it genuinely makes me so happy

i had to doodle them . ok. lets go..

nat was one of the first people nina met from jeff, since she and jeff lived in the barn together.

nina thought nat was a lesbian when they first met . that is literally the only reason why she wasnt mad jeff was living with a woman.

although nina was like, one of the ONLY people to notice toby/nat tension and was sooo heartbroken when she realized they were never getting together..... but then was relieved they didnt get together when she got over jeff because 'well i can't be the only single one!'

again, natalie grew up with 0 girl friends, only hung out with her brother and boys. even after meeting the creeps, theyre still mostly guys. so she's just kinda really awkward and weird around girls. not in a like, 'oh girls r so annoying' way but like... she just doesnt know how to fit in. she just feels so different in the worst possible way and always has.

and nina is very girly, outgoing, touchy, friendly, cute, etc. so it was very like UMMM?!? idk. natalie kept snapping at her, assuming she was fake and weird and just trying to get something from nat, but nina was so persistent and just. friendly. it started making natalie feel warm.

nina's presence started to heal natalies inner little girl. she had it stolen from her time and time again, from her dad, her brother, her peers - the operator, too.

so the two are eventually actual friends. they'll text and play mobile phone games together. sometimes they'll just sit on call and nina will be talking her head off while nat does her own thing at home. one time nat was at tobys cabin and nina was talking about toby on speaker and toby walked in and was like 'hey nina' .... nina almost threw up she was so embarrassed.

nina loves visiting nats bar because everyone is always talking to nina and giving her attention and buying her drinks, and at first nat was irritated but it kinda got nat some better tips since the customers started realizing ninas her friend. so nat was pleased. LOL

nat was never the type to go shopping, but she'll follow nina around and sit while nina tries on clothes and carry around all her bags that she buys LOL... ninas made jokes about nat being boyfriend material and nat just flatout says smth about how nina should get over jeff cuz he would never.

nat is friends with jeff but she's oddly comfortable just telling nina that he's a piece of shit. and ninas always like NOOO U DONT GET IT U DONT SEE WHAT I DO and nats always just .. not... impressed..

nina's always inviting nat out to try new foods. nat grew up just eating bread and noodles with butter half the time so it's fun. nina always tries to pay bc 'well i invited you!!!'. sometimes toby tags along but he feels a way abt going in public places..

nina rarely visits jack cuz she has no reason to, but nat is friends with him so sometimes nina pops in and she's always like ^_^ HELLO TALL MYSTERIOUS SLIGHTLY MONSTEROUS MAN... <3... nat smacks the back of her head cuz she's being dumb and drooling over a bunch of rando freaks. ... . ok i love nina and she owes jeff nothing but she is def not loyal LOLLLL AND SHE HAS THE RIGHT TO FAWN OVER EVERYONE she's a fangirl at heart.

they watch a ton of shows together. nina got nat into horror kdrama stuff, but they have to watch in dub cuz nat cant read the subtitles fast enough . . . at first nina cringed but now she doesnt care.

nat's painted/drawn nina several times, and nina almost cries everytime. she's put the drawings up on her wall before but anytime nat's at her apartment, she takes it down bc 'i dont want my art on ur wall stop it' LOL... kinda rude but whatevs.

ugh theyre just so fucking cute guys im sorry i love them . holds them. brushes their hair.

[the-s1lly-corner]

Hello again! ❤️✨ I just realised I missed adding the prompts in my previous request, I’m so sorry 😭

Could you please do the angst alphabet for eyeless Jack for the following prompts: E H Z

Alsoooo just so you’re aware, I love reading all your work related to ej and I’m super grateful your blog exists.

E H Z w/ Eyeless Jack (angst alphabet)

I need to write more angst alphabet stuff, feels like it hardly gets requested hmmm

Prompts: Ex, heal, zestless

Notes: reader is gn, let admin cook (we are coding ej to be depressed/actively hcing him as such. ie we REALLY lean into the self isolation side of things), at least sprinkle of good endings though hooray, swapped to writing on mobile midway through

CWs: mentions of death and gore in the context of how jack feeds, mentioned murder and stalking, mentions of abusive ex partners

HEAL

EX

He's not bothered by your exs interacting with you- in most cases at least. The two of you had already ended things and you've moved on with jack, so why does he need to worry? If you give him a reason to he's simply not going to waste his time with you. End of story. He's not going to entertain any mind games

That being said, if your ex is not.. the best person... he's definitely going to be on high alert around you- even if you fall for any manipulation from their part. He sees right through their bullshit and he's going to snap you back to reality... though the downside is, his bluntness and the general callousness of his tone (which he doesn't really mean-- it's just how he sounds!) can lead to you potentially not heeding his warnings.

The moment you're in danger he's going springing into action- before he was simply staying to the side and trying to convince you something was wrong. But now he's physically either trying to keep you away from them, or interacting with them himself to secure you/your safety. This can range from inflicting fear via stalking them in the night or outright getting rid of them

change is not linear but he makes it clear that youre free to call him out when he reverts back to the habits that lead to your argument in the first place. and he takes it with grace, he did something wrong and hes going to do what he can to make amends. he would expect you to do the same if the roles were reversed- though he has a habit of not speaking up when something bothers him unless its something major

ZESTLESS

despite what zestless says, as long as its not breakup worthy, hes going to be very blunt in approaching you about things once emotions are calmed down. depending on the context he may not apologize for his stance, but will apologize for hurting you. sometimes your safety can not be compromised.

He tries his best to enter the next conversation with you post argument with an open mind and intent to work things out in both of your favors, as well as make it clear that he didn't mean to hurt you and that he's willing to work with you

it was only a matter of time before you fell out of love with him. even before it started he always wondered what you saw in him- and how you managed to squeeze past the horror that is his diet. one that he cannot control and resents himself for, mind you

and hes no fool, when he notices hes going to act on it. unfortunately, hes not the best at communicating the more... vulnerable sides of things. that is to say hes going to start avoiding you. if you wont sever yourself from him then hes going to do it himself. hes good at evading and hiding, too, so the chances of getting your hands on him to talk it through is... not very high...

is it a little shitty to just cut things off when you fall out of love? yes. but he doesnt know how else to go about things in a way that doesnt sour things more, and he finds stress makes the more... flesh craving innerworkings of him... more prominent...

he doesnt blame you, though. circling back to the first point he always had a voice in the back of his head telling him that it was all temporary and that it wasnt going to work out. hes already made his peace with that, as well as the life hes generally going to lead until he finally loses his mind

[ladysophiebeckett]

the fireworks show definitely reginates something in her (new life), while he’s at his absolute lowest. I think the next morning Betty is looking in the mirror in wonderment bc she likes what she sees, while Armando is looking...awful. If we’re looking at ‘esterella’ and ‘estrellarme’--entonces, se puede decir que el se estrello para devolverle la vida. porque creo que estas escenas estan pasando en el mismo tiempo, pero no me aquerdo. someone correct me pls. 

@buddyhollyscurls this reminded me of your post

[kame-writes]

Concerning the media overlords au:

First of all: I love it! Thank you for sharing the idea with us <33

Second: Does Alastor live in the tower with the other Vees? And does Alastor still move into the hotel? If yes, on a scale of one to absolutely how sad/pissed/jealous is Vox after receiving this info?

3. I'd like to imagine Velvette's fingers are constantly itching to get ahold of that handsome deer man, who doesn't know how to dress himself properly or trendy, and give his wardrobe an upgrade. Could you imagine this happening? (Maybe with lots of alcohol involved. So that he would at least temporarily let her experiment with his clothes. Bonus points if she is able to take picture too. Vox would obviously make himself some copies for.. private reasons...) Do you see my vision?? Can you see it??

4. Can Vox convince Alastor to do more audio features within their network? Like podcasts or interviews and the like? Or are they just screams as well? (I recently discovered a podcast about cooking, where each week they talk about one ingredient and explain a recipe with it. I think this would fit Alastor's preferences very well.. tho the ingredients might not be as commonly used now that I think about it... anyhow... now I can't stop thinking about Hannibal and Alastor hosting a food podcast.. oops.. sorry, but not really)

5. You mentioned that Husk still works in his casino, if he isn't needed. Do you have any headcanons for Niffty's whereabouts?

Anyway that's all for now! Have a lovely day/night! <33

p.s. Sorry if this ask is intrusive. For some questions it's pretty clear that I've already imagined something for myself that may or may not fit with your vision of this au. If you feel like I overstepped, feel free to ignore this or send me an alastor_fuck_u. gif :D

Im am very happy to have questions asked! You have no idea how many ideas i have and dont know what to do with xD

I'd love to see other peoples headcanons and ideas for this universe, if anyone does anything for it then please tag me so i can see ^^

This is gonna get long so I've put it under a read more

2: No one is really sure if he lives there or just works there. He HAS his own suite in the tower, but he's not always there when they go look for him, and not being able to find him is very a common occurrence, made more frustrating because he refuses to carry or awnser the mobile phone they forced on him. He hangs around in the common areas like the kitchen and living room sometimes. And if they do manage to rope him into something like a movie night its a huge hassle, because he will insist on a black and white or silent film if he HAS to engage with the tv, and Vel and Val hate those.

The whole top of the Tower is dominated by his large Radio tower though, its slightly seperated from the rest of the building, suspended above it with a staircase/ladder to enter the hatch. Valentino is usually not brave enough to check there for Alastor.

Its the same with the hotel. He does move into his own room there, but goes back and forth a lot, and doesnt have a schedule. Vox tires to pretend hes fine with it at first but often ends up the hotel to be a pain in the ass to Charlie, and getting kicked out by the staff of Alastor. Hes convinced himself that Alastor will lose interest sooner rather than later, and the others just tune out his whining at this point. No one buys it when he claims he didnt even notice Alastor was gone as soon as the Radio Demon gets back to the tower.

3: I may be planning to draw this haha He does let her dress him up ocassionally, he has a few differant suits he's approved of and kept, but does wear his original the most the time. Velvette has a line of 'Vintage chic' clothing that partly started as a way to get Alastor to agree to changing his 'ratty ass old man style' by appealing to clothes that were updated takes on his era. He still very rarely leaves the tower in anything but his own usual attire.

He does on rare occasions allow photos to be taken of him by the vees (and once, later on by charlie, under strict instructions that she keeps it to herself) but no video. And none under any circumstances are allowed on social media. He has blown up a few phones that have attempted, both the Vees and employees.

4: Alastor has agreed to be on a podcast a few times, but its rare, and only if its somehting hes really interested in talking about. It's one of the few modern things he approves of since its just a version of a radio talk show. Same with interviews, he keeps them even more extremly rare, and the mystery of the radio Demon keeps sinners in fear more than him being in the public. Vox always wants him to do more since the ratings sky rocket when Alastor features.

When Alastor has done an interview it is with his back to the camera, and sitting in a large wingbacked stupidly over the top ornate chair, that hides him from being seen, except maybe the top tuffs of his ears and antlers. And he doesnt reveal much about himself when he does. The chair is partly to hide him, and partly to stop the equitment form glitching too much. He likes to pulls faces and makes gestures deliberatly made to make Vox falter and look stupid on camera, since hes the only one who can see him in that chair.

He has teased on his own radio show that one 'lucky' sinner may get the chance to be on both a guest star on his radio broadcast AND a livestream if the mood takes. Valentino had to inform him that what he's referring to is called a snuff film

5: Niffty gets moved to the hotel pretty much full time once Alastor gets involved, Husk is a part time employee, but ends up spending less time at his casino as time goes on.

Valentino is happy Niffty is gone because she creeps him out, she ocassionally hung around his studio during work hours, especially if theyre doing a scene with 'bad boys'. Vox isn't bothered. Velvette is not happy, especially that Niffty is reduced to a maid/janitor for the hotel, and makes that very known to Alastor. Velvette loves Niffty, they are chaos sisters and work on very sketchy sounding potions together, and gang up against the boys.

Niffty is also a great seamstress herself and brings her designs to Velvette like an excited child showing off their latest art project. Almost none of these get used, but Vel has fun forcing models to parade around the studio and work in something Nifftys made, they often include bugs and bodyparts, Velvette finds this halarious.

[antisocialmia]

Dr. W. Afton headcanons

sfw and nsfw mentioned -> mdni

gen!neutral reader, just silly thoughts and mostly sweet (I hope) probably not readproof so sorry for any writing mistakes.

Dr. W. Afton from the game 'Thats Not My Neighbour'

Disclaimer!! I dont own the character or anything. Just trying to support the creators.

Art credits: @_.calitryx on TikTok

Appearance

probably about 5'11 to 6'0 tall

takes really good care of his facial hair (the maximum it gets are two days before he shaves again)

see him something between slim and yet muscular, sleeper build

slim waist and his shoulders on the broader side

Cake. Thats it.

his hands are rather on the rough side but he tries to take care of them

long fingers and takes the cleaning of his hands very seriously??

he has defined features but not like too sharp

Random

he has knee issues

addicted to coffee, also his very first thought after waking up

has a habit of sleeping in when he has a day off

or so he says ─ the first time you slept over he was awake at 7.

takes a lot of time for his hair in the bathroom

was insecure about his nose in his teens but learned to accept it nonetheless

he's left-handed

randomly mutturs out some facts throughout the day

he needs to push up his glasses pretty often because he once broke them by sitting down on them but refused to get them fixed

"its only a little bent." Yeah, a whole 90 degrees

he has a picture of you in his wallet

probably all his colleges know about you at this point

he's such a yapper once talking about a topic he enjoys maybe just a little too much ─ but you let him because who can say no to someone like him?

notices the tiniest changes of literally anything

going from things laying somewhere else in his apartment to the act of a person he's talking to

also the type of guy who watches you look at something a little too long and buys it for you as a present later

he remembers everything, literally has the brain of an elephant. 'I remember you saying you wish you had that so I got it for you.'

Style

you might actually mistake him for a phyics teacher (that damn checker pattern)

closet is mostly filled with linen shirts and some suit pants

'thats all he ever needed' ─ his words

color variates, he has almost every color but those bright ones.

of course he has some home clothes (you love to steal)

comfortable sweats and cozy sweaters

great taste when it comes for comfortable clothing ─ always manages to get the most fluffy ones too.

for jewlery, he only wears his watch around his left wrist

Activities

he probably has a gym membership but never actually goes

if you go tho, he might join you

in his freetime he loves to jog

loves to explore new things, like new recipes to new games (If mobile or not)

playfights usually end up with him laying down on you with his full weight

always has a stupid grin on his face when he does that

Apartment

he's completely clean, not freaky clean tho

there's not a single dust grain

but hes not too pressed about it ─ he simply enjoys tidying his apartment

gives him some sort of comfort

you can also find sometimes his clothes over the couch or laying on the ground, which is rare but it happens

his job doesnt require too much of his time so he has plenty of time at home

Relationships

like said before, he had some insecurities

confidence wasnt his thing in his teens (He was probably one of those 'uhm actually' kids but unintentionally.)

changed in his 20's ─ went out regulary but never found anything that could have gone further

which changed when you came around

so, he indeed was experienced but you taught him things aswell

love language is physical touch and acts of service (also words of affirmation)

loves random hugs and gives them too

huge on pda and shows it too

he really loves to just embrace you and cuddle with you on the couch or in bed while watching a movie or show

sleeping with him is hell

he's tussing and turning all night long, but only If you arent in his grasp

once youre trapped in his arms there's no way out and he wont move a single inch

small snores, but only once in a while ─ barely noticable too.

has all sorts of nicknames for you 'baby' , 'love' , 'honey' , 'sugar' , 'cupcake' you name it.

NSFW -> mdni

a complete switch

service dom

lives to do what you tell him to

to the location -> probably everywhere in the apartment when youre up to it

high-sex drive and probably lasts atleast 2 rounds

gets super touchy when he's worked up and just hints what he wants instead of saying it directly

he's shy! Just catch up to what he's implying.

knows the difference between harder and faster

also, not exactly into hard bdsm but isnt shy to explore with you either

praising to the top with him

you wont catch him letting out one word that would degrade

loves physical touch so this is his time to shine

body worshiping

kisses every inch of skin his lips can reach and then again

always tells you how good youre doing and how proud he is of you for taking him that well.

he's not.. exactly small either

a true mystery how he keeps it hidden beneath those forbidden pants

he loves to mark you, not for claiming and only for his eyes to see (maybe on the nape of your neck but not further)

basically, he does it how you want it. Romantic, slow and tender? He's in with all at it. Rose pedals even.

in the mood for something more rough and- ahem- man handling? Sure. He's in. But expect a godly aftercare ─ he can't stand the thought of hurting you

Aftercare

whenever, he's all sweet and gentle

acting as If youre made out of glass and will break any moment

once again he'll do anything you ask him to do.

a bath? 'Of course, my love.' Just a simple glass of water? Its already on your nightstand. Cuddles? Thats already happening before you had the thought. A massage? 'Just relax,'

a dream, literally.

he'll clean you both up without a second thought and wont let you lift a finger

if you do, youre met with a pouty expression on his face.

Thank you for reading, hope you enjoyed it. A little rushed.

[coyote-kiddo]

i was re-tagging some of my old posts and found this, so i figured i'd re-do it!!! (all at once because i do NOT have the memory to do it over 30 days)

i found petdre first via the aesthetic "babycore", and then slowly got more and more into agedre!! i also found out a while later that i had been involuntarily age regressing for years and hadnt noticed

my age when im small is kinda hard to pinpoint, but i would say somewhere between 3-5 most of the time!!

i dont have one, and i dont plan on getting one until im an adult (for safety purposes), but i have a few fictional cgs!! (stolas, toriel, and alastor are my biggest ones :3)

hm, i would say a day with one of my fictional cgs!! getting to play with the toys ive been wanting, color and draw, wear clothes that feel comfortable on my body, use teethers, bottles, diaps and pacis and watch my favorite shows without being judged or being embarrassed abt it :3 plus a nice warm bubble bath, baba of warm almond milk and a lullaby before bed!!

i have loads of sippies, a few bottles, a few teethers, a paci and one disposable diap as of right now, but i really really want a babyyourdoll classic round paci!! and also pull ups, mostly js for comfort :33 i would also like more silicon teethers bc they feel nicer than gel/water teethers heheh

i pet dream occasionally, not as often as i used to but still occasionally!! i petdre to an afghan hound, a kitty, a fox, and im considering trying wolf pup, fruit/vampire bat and deer :3

when i age dream, im not too much different from when im big bc my headspace doesnt change as much- im just a bit more childish and less embarrassed about stuff!! regressed me is wayy different though bc my regression is almost always negative- im typically more emotional, childish, clingy, and annoying.

i prefer drawing!!! i like to color also but drawing just feels so freeing to me :3

my moots!!! too shy to tag but i love them sm /p /gen

regression is almost always invol for me because of anxiety and trauma, its also usually negative which is kinda sucky

yepp!!

not that i can remember, ive used regression gear in dreams before but never regressed

this one is kinda tricky- im gonna say probably either apple slice or salteens!! i also really love juice, chocolate, graham crackers and cheese and crackers :3

yes!! i never really grew out of them, even before i started to age dream ive collected them :3

just my stepmom and my dad, i dont really think they remember though

bubs, kiddo, buddy, and little guy are my favs!! masc nicknames are sooo gender affirming to me as a fem-presenting trans man :,3

my regression is usually negative and involuntary, but nothing usually makes me "instantly regress"- its kinda a coin flip- but something that makes me feel smaller when i age dream is fuzzy socks!!

nope 😭 even if im able to buckle down and have small time after ive been involuntarily regressed it just kinda fades away

its okay, i cant really speak on it much bc i have most people i dont feel comfortable with blocked and i dont have any other socials. though i do hate when people stereotype and gatekeep it, or water it down to "fem, pastel, cute way of coping for skinny white girls only"

not a lot, but if i stumble upon one in the tags i might read it :3c

yeah, but i dont really feel comfortable being tickled

stolas goetia from helluva boss!!!! he is literally my dada guys /silly

my preference changes constantly, but it would definitely have a crib that can be converted into a toddler/big kid bed w a canopy and mobile, a sensory tent, a bouncer, a play area and a deer rocker!!!

not really, it makes it harder for me to stay small sometimes

i regress because of trauma and anxiety, i age dream as a coping mechanism for stress, gender dysphoria and missing out on my childhood :3

i almost always have to be listening to music when small, regressed or age dreaming, and my music taste jus kinda stays the same

just boundaries i set for myself- dont intentionally seek out my triggers, dont stay up too late, eat when im hungry, etc

when i regress, i get very very clingy and sad and scared, so i come off as very needy and kinda annoying (+ blunt because i kinda forget how social rules work), when i age dream im basically the same as when im big, just gigglier and more childish

maybe!! i havent tried out caregiving before but i would like to!!

im in the process of learning italian, so i sometimes watch kids' shows in italian to help practice and to make myself feel smaller!!

[readmypaws]

Hello folks of Tumblr,

Some of you are new here, so allow me to help you get started here. This tutorial is for mobile users cause im too lazy to log back on on PC rn...

Anyways,

Lets start with the simple part, how to navigate this place. Ive been here a year and it cam still feel likenan enigma sometimes but here are the basics:

1. Your feed is going to be made up of 90% of what you follow. Tumblr doesn't really have an algorithm perse, but more of a "heres is someone that someone you're following follows" or is stuff in the same tag. You can actually completely turn off what little algorithm there is in the settings if you like.

2. If you like a post, like it, but if you do just that, you'll never see it again. If you truly love a post, you need to repost it. Reposting it adds it to your blog, and you dont need to be stingy with reposting!

3. Scared something doesnt match your blog but you still like it? Well fuck it, reblog that shit! We love variety here

So thats the basics of looking at posts, but I can guarantee you that no one here, not even the p0rn bots dont post here. So I'm gonna teach you how to do that!

1. You will notice a blue button that looks like a pencil, click that and itll take you to the post creator.

2. Now the page is pretty blank, but that means you can do whatever you want with it! At the bottom of the screen (or if your keyboard is up, top of the keyboard) you'll notice 7 buttons. From left to right they are:

text formatting, the second is links, third is gifs, fourth is images, fifth is uh... I don't really know tbh lol, sixth is polls, and the seventh is uh... I also dont know that does lol.

Feel free to go crazy with these! Have fun :)

3. After writing your masterpiece, an autistic 3am rant about cheese, or a shitpost you're gonna wanna share it. If you immediately post it, it wont be seen by anyone except those who follow you. If you want people to follow it make sure that:

YOU TAG YOUR POSTS!

There is an add tags button above the toolbar, you gotta type what tags you want. Dont stress about making them completely match your post or what the "meta" is, its Tumblr, there is no meta for the platform that is just neurodivergent queer people lol. Share to wherever the hell you want so long as its somewhat connected to the post :). Add as many (up to 30) as you want! I recommend 5 at minimum. You can even write your posts as just tags!

So thats your post done! Thats the jist of Tumblr, theres also customizing your blog but I'll deal with that later :)

Have fun here!

[cpunkwitch]

Hey, it's the anon that asked if chronic pain counted as a physical disability

I guess I just wanted to ask a few other things because you're like the first person who has actually answered my questions on this kind of stuff— I'm sorry if it becomes annoying or if my questions are stupid, I really struggle with research and stuff, so if this stuff is easily found on google or something then im sorry

I wanted to mainly ask what counts as debilitating? I mean my chronic pain tends to come in episodes that last a few minutes to a few hours (well the most noticeable of it, which is my ribs. But I do tend to havesort of aches in my joints, knees((are they joints?)), hip and some other places pretty commonly, and that usually lasts a few hours but I'm usually good at ignoring that), sometimes it can happen every day for a week and sometimes I can go weeks without experiencing or noticing any pain. I can still do things that most people do I think? Other than running or walking up hills, that usually takes away all my breath and makes the pain really bad (so bad I've had to lay on the floor for up to 10-20 minutes because I walked up too many hills). I don't know if that would count as debilitating

For further context, I am quite young and I don't have any diagnosis, I haven't seen a doctor over it because my parents don't believe my pain is real and often say it's growing pains (I don't think it is, since it started back when I was like 7-9, so before I started growing) so I don't really know much about this or my body really

Again sorry if this is a sort of stupid question, if you can't answer it or don't feel comfortable answering it that's perfectly fine ^_^ /gen

holding you gently (if touch is okay)

i dont think you understand anon im autistic all i do is research please please ask me to your hearts content! /silly

going bit by bit so its easier on my dyslexia, what counts as debilitating? subjective to the person but overall; debilitating means a condition or otherwise symptom of some kind causng a person to be weak, effects their usual functions or otherwise hindering, so for something to be disabling / debilitating and to count as such, it just means it hinders you in some way and generally makes you weaker in a "more suseptible to" way, such as chronic pain making it so you cant get out of bed i the morning, you cant lift heavy things like chairs etc.

it common for chronic pain and other chronic conditions to come in episodes my moms chronic migranes for example only happen about once a month. it still counts as chronic so long as its reoccuring and when it does occur if it hinders you in any way then it very much counts as debilitating and therefore a disablity.

the pain level doesnt have to be consistent nor does the time length, just that its reoccuring in some way.

knees are joints yes. when it comes to joint issues and pain its likely that form of chronic pain is caused by a type of arthritis, fibromyalgia and/or some other autoimunity that is known to cause that. not certain but i just felt like that might be worth noting.

my chronic pain causes me issues with walking just like that, people without this condition dont often struggle with losing energy nor feel pain after walks or runs, uphill or otherwise, unless they have something else goig on with their body. if it effects you lower body its no surprise your mobility in that area is effected in some way too. i got myself a cane to help me with this as i walk uphill to work often (at least its one reason it helps me)

that hinderance alone, effectig your stamina, counts as debilitating, it might now sound or feel as severe as what other people expirience but it counts

it sucks that people equate age to conditions and then dont believe young people like us when we have issues, but age has nothing to do with it, you can expirience anything like this at any age for a number of reasons. i was born with a defect i my spine we didnt find until i was 18-19 and id been i pain for well over a decade now.

you'll find its hard to get people to listen to you now, but once you know what to say, for example telling them how long that this has been going on and how it effects you, even what you suspect it night be and dont let them derail from exploring those possabilities, you can /get/ them to listen to you.

sucks hard that people wont listen in the first place, especially when they think they know everything. but youre the only one whos gonna know and understand your body best because only you can listen to it when it sends you signals like pain.

(i genuinely enjoy these kinds of asks i love getting to ramble)

[aesrot]

Lua I’m gonna flat all over the place. I think rolan should get mobility aids, just a thought that’s definitely not related to anything, definitely not projecting and living vicariously thru fictional characters

nono i def see your vision (<-projecting too), he just needs it, maybe always did, even before the transformation. him feeling just exhausted after school or work (i picture him working in like food retail or smth like that as a teen as he saved money for uni), his back and hips just killing him by the end of the day, him never hesitating to take a sit when available, carrying painkillers on him at all times, but also he's too polite (aka his family didnt take it seriously when he tried talking abt it so he just doesnt complain ever). he really enjoyed being in the track team as well, but his pain increased as time passed and he started to skip it and or fall behind. after a while the guys would notice it and maybe joke sometimes abt him being a teen elder, but they'd always help him through bad flare ups, without making it obvious bc its rolan we talking abt, he wont accept help that easily, so they'd leave the sit available for him, bring him meds if he doesnt have any, make sure he's not overdoing himself, etc.

maybe younger rolan wouldnt even dream of getting mobility aids, afraid of his family's reaction (and the school kids as well), and he probably wouldnt even have access to it for a gooood while. but older him? especially after galloway events rolan? muuuch more likely, no one to stop him, he knows himself better now, he's more willing to talk and actually do something abt his needs. maybe he starts w a cane, and then crutches and maybe eventually a wheelchair and/or a rollator (this would take some years to happen considering when and how widespread those were at the time ofc). rand turns into his scary dog privilege, if anyones weird or dismissive of rolan's aid/pain, he has to be held back otherwise he'll straight up punch the person lol. kian begs and begs to help rolan customise and decorate his aids, and he lets him but always supervised.

[spuddy-potat]

not entirely sure what it is but my internalized ableism has been kicking my ass HARD lately

bit of an off topic vent type post so feel free to skip this one, i just wanted to organize my thoughts somewhere

tw: internalized ableism

for some context i occasionally get sciatic pain, lets say i have a bad day maybe once every 10-15, more often when im working or particularly stressed. what i define as a "bad day" is typically back pain that extends to my legs and makes it somewhat difficult to stand/walk without the threat of my knees giving out, or just prolonged bouts of sciatic pain

i realize ive had some form of sciatic pain since i was really young but it never manifested enough to really be noticeable, it only just started to become a problem my freshman year of college and has kind of remained at the level its at now

beyond that ive had a few other minor persistent health annoyances but those arent really the point here

anyway recently i havent been able to shake the feeling that its not actually as bad as i would make myself think it is, that im "playing it up" so to speak for the purpose of complaining about it and gaining, like, sympathy? i guess? from other people

that having back pain sometimes doesnt constitute calling myself disabled because for the most part i can do pretty much whatever i need to

and im no stranger to this type of self gaslighting where i keep telling myself that im making things sound worse than they are or that im actually perfectly fine and there is nothing to worry about (see: ive gone through this exact same thought process with me sexuality, depression/anxiety issues, adhd, autism(?), and gender dysphoria to name the big ones) and its a constant uphill battle to just accept a part of myself like that

i have a number of friends who struggle with disabilities, both mental and physical, and i worry that talking about my own percieved issues is discounting their experiences in a way because i think im complaining too much for what it actually is

like, the thought process is "if you actually had issues you wouldnt be using them as an excuse to complain, youre just too lazy to see that they could be fixed with simple lifestyle changes" or something

as if im using my back pain to get out of, what, working? which isnt true at all because i truly want to be able to work a full 8 hour shift without issue but my body starts to scream at me if im on my feet for more than 6 hours. and when my manager offers to give me fewer or shorter shifts i just feel so guilty because it feels like im conning her into making me work less

which isnt true! i want to work more! i really like my job!

and i see friends with worse health issues work twice as much as i do and i think "maybe i really am pretending its worse than it really is because i should be able to work like that with no problem. maybe im really doing this for sympathy that i dont deserve"

one of the biggest things that has been on my mind since this summer was that i think it would be really cool to have a cane. for the bad days when its hard to walk. so i found one that matches the one my oc has because i think that would be awesome. but for the life of me i cannot fucking convince myself to get it. because having "just a few bad days" doesnt warrant getting a mobility aid if im not gonna need to use it like 90% of the time

and of course all the friends i told about this are urging me to get it because "yes it will help you and you should get it anyway" and i agree! right up until i remember that its not actually that bad, that on my "bad days" i only make it seem worse by constantly thinking about it, i could literally just take some painkillers and it wouldnt be an issue. truly the pain isnt even that bad, right?

and so the loop starts again. an endless battle between both sides of myself, one that thinks im making everything seem worse just because i want an excuse to be lazy and gain sympathy, and the tiny tiny side that says "hey i think its good to have something that helps manage your pain even if you need it once every 10 days" and the bigger side ALWAYS wins.

its always been like this. with every issue i seem to have. and im just so tired of it.

in the grand scheme of things i realize none of this really matters, im never gonna talk myself into changing anything or trying to get better, so really im just screaming into the void here. eventually ill stop caring so much and go back to doing nothing and brushing off any pain as "its because of that terrible posture"

oof this post got really long but i just needed to put my thoughts down onto paper. i dont think i even touched on all the points i wanted to, and i dont think anyone will actually read this, but idk maybe itll help me feel a little less insane

whatever

[the-s1lly-corner]

I am losing it over Sir Pentious and I cannot HOLD THE URGE TO REQUEST FOR HIM anymore. May I please have the silly little snake man meeting an angel reader (she/her) in Heaven with whom he shares one (1) braincell? They are just two idiots in love who are far too shy to confess their feelings for each other. Basically the "Everyone knows they are in love but them" trope. I would appreciate tooth-rotting fluff toward the end. Thank you 🙏🏻🩷

Redeemed!Pentious x Angel!Reader

But they're both idiots in love

Combining this with another similar request hope you and the other requestor dont mind !

Written on mobile

You were the one assigned to helping him readjust to heaven! Congratulations, you also have a roommate until he can get his own place! He kind of follows you around like a lost puppy because you're kind of the only guide.. and friend.. he has..!

He tries way too hard to make things for you easier when it should be the other way around. He makes sure your home is spotless and more than his share of the chores are done. You dont even have to lift a finger as long as hes around

Over time you both to develop feelings. But you're both so.. oblivious..

Imagine hes looking at you with these wide starry eyes as you talk about a location. It doesnt matter how beautiful his surroundings are, hes absolutely enraptured by your own beauty.

He picks flowers for you, but he ends up just saying they're to brighten up the house instead of being solely for you. He tries to make you your favorite snacks, he does seem to be good at baking and decoration..! He makes you small trinkets to make life a little easier.

Meanwhile he doesnt notice the rosy look you get on your face or how you seem to linger around him when you two need to part. How you try to spend even another minute with him.

Actually it would take an outside party for at least one of you to catch onto the others feelings.. I like the idea that Emily sometimes checks on the two of you to see how everything is going... she is.. not subtle in asking you if you have a crush on the newcomer..

How you proceed is fully up to you, but it might be best to make the first move as pentious may not do it on his own; unless there's something pushing him to act

[tgablissortonn]

crossy road (2014)

crossy road is a mobile game developed by hipster whale who are an australian independent developer. the game is based off of the joke "why did the chicken cross the road?", with the main default character / mascot being a 3d chicken. crossy road was developed using unity, and only took 12 weeks to develop and publish. it was originaly planned to only take 6 weeks, but the developers noticed it had a lot more potential and extended development by 6 more weeks to produce what we have now.

in crossy road, you play as a character of your choice as you unlock more through in game purchase, real money purchase or achievements. the default character is the chicken. you play as the character trying to cross a road filled with busy traffic and have to use up, down, left and right swiping motions to make your character move and avoid the vehicles. and sometimes, hopping onto lily pads and logs over rivers and crossing train tracks. crossy road has had collaborations with Disney to incorporate some of their characters into crossy road as playable characters. the game has no end, the goal is just to travel as far as possible and each step forwards gains a point. the challenge is to beat your high score every round. although, you have to move quickly in crossy road, as if you stand still for too long you will be snatched by a vulture or similar bird like character and the round will end.

everything in crossy road is in 3d, even the screenshots taken by the game that are shown to you after you die to show your death and is available for sharing on social media.

crossy road has over 200 million downloads as of 2018. it is a classic mobile game well known by many people and has a good legacy.

i personally really like crossy road and still play it often, i really like the simplistic character designs and their colour palettes are really eye catching and appealing to me. i like that its arcade style and its very addicting. i personally love the game design and the artwork specifically is really nice. i also like that the game doesnt have music and only has sound effects as it adds to the atmosphere of it being a game not to be taken seriously as it doesnt have any official sountracks. the art style was developed by Ben Weatherall, who has worked on many other games as a freelance pixel artist.

[lazying-in-bed]

Knowing How To Give

Lately since being more active about practicing mindfulness, Ive started to notice when Im negatively emotionally holding on to things. It could be anything, from being nervous towards strangers, perpetually feeling upset by certain friends, or holding resentment towards family members. Nowadays instead of doing my fun very awesome very cool method of ignoring and assuming it’ll go away with time, I like to figure out what to do with it!

Recently Ive been holding onto this negative perception revolving around what I felt people owed to me. I was becoming upset with many people in my life because I felt like even though I was putting energy into people, I wasnt getting that energy back. I was going around expending energy and expecting it to come back to me, like the world owed me for doing it a favor. Idk where I got this from, maybe some general social observation, but I had this philosophy that if I wanted something from the world, I had to put it into the world. And Im sure thats true sometimes, like being good to the Earth so that it continues being a nice habitual place for us, but Im also starting to see when it doesnt work.

Just because Im kind to someone doesnt mean that they owe me kindness back. What if they dont have the capacity, the energy to give that back to me? Sometimes people have valid reasons for that, like man living in a capitalist society is a whole energy-blackhole of itself, especially if you arent blessed enough to work from home often. I cant blame them for that. I can only blame myself for trying to extend myself in a way that leaves me feeling depleted and unbalanced. Not that I hate myself for it, I understand that I only do it because that’s just what Ive seemed to have learned up until now. Understanding this has led to the conclusion that I should only give to others either when I am at a surplus, or when I trust that I will receive a reciprocal amount of joy in return, due to my own personal surge of joy from the act of giving.

I think this is what people mean when they say that friendships arent transactional. I dont want to give people gifts because I expect them to give me a gift back. How would that make me any different than a manipulator? I want to give them gifts because they bring so much joy to me that Im overflowing with love and cant help but want to show my appreciation for them. I dont want to ask people how theyre doing just so that they can ask me about how Im doing, I want to ask them because Im interested to know about them! And if I want to share with them about how Im doing, I can just ask if they want to hear about it! I want to be kind to people not just because I want to be people to be kind to me, but also because I feel that people are worthy of kindness, and that I know what it’s like to be kind to and that I want to help others feel that as well.

And with that, I have started to let go of this heavy rock of a behavior and mindset, and have since begun to feel much lighter and forgiving towards the people around me, and to myself.

p.s. the tumblr mobile editor is wack so the spacing sometimes is also, wack, very ugly but im not sure what to do about it unless anyone has any suggestions ok ty bye

[yeancollab]

Yes! please

okay bdwjhe i’ll put the ones i got awards for under the cut.. content warning tho: its depressing as hell and there’s mentions of suicide, depression/mental illness and csa.. its also not based in too much reality so don’t read into it okay cbjhebf and i wrote it when i was 13/14

ok so they’re all meant to form one story so thats why some of them sound the same..

In Principo

Boy,

You thought that girl was everything

Boys can hold hands until they’re seven

But he never seemed to let go

You dropped that hand that smelled like cookies

You let him fall like dry sand

You saw sparkles in her eyes

In the foreground his held tears

Boys can’t be too close

Girls can’t stay best friends

That’s a little harsh

Little boys feel hate too

You aren’t weak if you know how to feel

People are never truly numb

Carry that torch

Holding on too tight, knuckles white

She parted her lips

Kisses shattered the glass

Little boys get scared of the dark

You didn’t have the right

What if he told you he set that fire?

“Listen close: It feels just like the feeling when you die!

Hold on a little tighter, you traitor.

One day you’ll be dust again.”

He gave you warning

He gave you time

You sacrificed the sky for the wench

Loyalty is funny

When you’re a villain

I guess like me

He grabbed your hand before he fell over the edge

You dropped that hand that smelled like sweat

The crimson flooded over Ivory

Out of sight, out of mind

Is love blind,

Or is lust blinding?

Are friends forever,

Or acquaintances lovers?

Is he dead,

Or are you still breathing?

The Big Bad Wolf (with samples of “City Lights”)

Nothing I could ever write,

Would help you understand this life

Its the constant fear

The cool touch of a knife

One thousand deaf ears

My dear, please

Don’t be too scared

Everything fails

Don’t be despaired

Nothing I could ever write

Will make these blind eyes see

The clothes don’t mean a thing

This is not me

A sheep up for judgement

Solemn pain

Nothing I could ever write

Would stop the nights I cry

I starve

I chant

Some day, you’ll remember my face

Darling I find peace

Knowing this wolf will die

Intermission: Hindsight

Higher than I’ve ever been

Clutch white,

Swallow blue

Bottle orange

Cherry Coke

Too high

Twisted ways

Homicide

Of what

Could have been

I’m thinking

About all you said

Don’t lie

I’m not enough

Run and tell the Devil

Dreizhenthe Krieg

And in a second,

Came the fire

That burned down your world

You took it all from me

So I shattered the glass in our home

“Sweet baby no!

Don’t you throw stones!”

But I never even cared!

Let them all see,

Every burden that I own!

Let me bare my soul!

Air out the dirty laundry

“Nothing is the same! Oh nothing is the same!”

But damn it, don’t you know?

I’m here to make change!

Careful now!

Don’t step on the soaking rags!

Tip-toe past, hurry up,

You won’t last

In the fire o

Oh, you,

Dear friend

You’re a liar,

You’ve betrayed me

And expect me to defend you?

Well

(one beat)

(the two beasts)

(three breakdowns)

This piece of ivory is not for sale

Link hands with your mistress

Your captain

Your God

You’ll realize what you are

If we are what we create

Aren’t we the worst kind

You paint a pretty picture

But beneath there are lies

In a second

comes the fire

That will burn down our world

Now ask me if I care,

my eyelids are sewn closed…

In Finem

I am Ivory.

While I am damned,

I am dead

The grass is my sleeping place

My message flows in your bones

No one likes to be alone

The signs on bridges are not enough

800 numbers don’t save

I cannot reincarnate

I am stuck in a dark space

I am Ivory

I killed myself

They think of me

And they need me now

But its too late, oh what they’ve done to me

As the curtain closes I send out my wish

How I’d love to take it back

Betrayer, Enemy (Start of the Thirteenth War)

With eyes long gone,The hurt rings clear in black holes where blue irises once glistened

And

When you looked at me I swear I was your hero because you never stopped smiling when my voice rangButIAm a betrayer and nothing moreAPredator, creature, thiefI sworeI’d never let you go

ButI thought one person was worth losing everyone else so I gave my all and lost the restInThe downward spiral of my existence you’re so vacant,

So vacant

You ivory,Being.Poached by me then left in the dirt no, longer tough or necessaryI amJust as bad as a hunter because the girls with sweet scents and white smiles are my preyDear,Ivory I’m a lion, I’m a scorpion, and there is no mercy inThis heart that teeters off the edge like suchBordersLinesDo they exist with me?Where do boundaries line up with moral decay?IJust watch the faces underneath me change and I don’t think about risk too much I swear I’mMy energy spent expressing passion to those I do not know never glancing at youYour skin covered in painIWish I could have set you free but I was caught up in me caught up in trying to find my mother in the heart of the girl with the pretty brown skin, Ivory I did not think twice about leaving you behindUp from our grave I have so much to apologize for. If we found you, if we saw you, would you have still leftIImagine your last moments were beautiful though.

High on these drugs

Laughing without thinking twice about leaving meI’m a hypocrite thoughIvoryI’m sorryI saw the signs but closed my eyes I did I swear I went blind youBeautyFull of innocence yet too wise

crying yourself to sleep at night

and nowIDo the same because I feel your exact pain oh Ivory I’m sorry I’m sorry I killed youWe didn’t pay attentionTo the black holes where your eyes had been, we didn’t seeI didn’t seeWe let you rotI am a betrayer, a predator, a creatureYou set fire to my worldIHope you know I’ve changedWherever you areI cry when I think about seeing you again, my friend, my brother, my enemy, what were you?

Dead..

In Medio

I cross and uncross my legs“I used to think you were an act. The peace, love, happiness. I still think you might be.”Ivory stares at me“An act?”

I fiddle with a loose thread I nodI waitHe replies“You are the most perceptive person I know.”I look into his serene eyes“Is it true then? Are you as cold as me?”Ivory tugs tugs on his shirt“Not cold. Indifferent. Not Bitter. A little Empty”

The sky was bright

“White World”

AsylumWhen IHold out my hand for you to take but Shut my fist tight before you touch meNo longer do I knowIf I want loveOr to reject itI wouldRather be alone than be left behindAnd I’d like to be invisibleBut I’m searching for someone in every pretty girlThat I fuck

tTen drop themBefore they escape with all I have leftAll I have left is loveMy knees with scarsFrom long nightsKneeling in front of the DevilWhile he stripped my soul bareAnd told me not to chokeWhen exactly did you start to hate me?Was it whenIWas a little boyWho loved his motherBut made her cryBecause I

Inherited your evil

When I

Lie awake I pray

The black of my actions

Leaves Soon

Igneus: A Tale Of Lovers/Prequel

I’m trying to drown the thought of you with the poison in this bottle.The glass is empty, and goddamnIt burns like HellBut I forget about you for a little whileGet my head clearA drunk man’s wordsAre a sober man’s thoughtsall I can say is i love youMy throat is dryIt burns like HellMy heart is cold, but I can’t let you goMy smile is fake, but these tears are realall I can say is i need you

My chest is so hollow

It burns like HellBecause I know you don’t feel for me tooI can’t shake this yearning, you seem unrealWith this pen and this paperI confess my adorationMy mind is blurred with liquor It burns like Hell

But I know I need to do this; tell you how I feelI am me, who loves youMy hands shakeThis heart is soreI throw back more liquid courage It burns like HellI can’t get over your eyesWith a bubbling stomach, dearI drop my note at your locker.327The same number all three yearsMy fingertips quiverAs the white slip falls through the slitDamn my body achesIt burns like Hell Before I see you

Next morning, loveI open my locker and see a small paper fallIn your hand–

I know it is, I watch you write in classAre three little words“I like you”I’m searching for you nowI find youIn front of your ownNumber 327You clutch my identical note in your palm found youYou hold my confession tight as I do yoursAs if dropping these will erase our love and get washed away in the tilesWith a fire in my heartA tingle in my skinI entwine my fingers with yoursThis is my chance Lean forwardTouch lipsDrown my inferno

Baby, it burns like Hell