#i no longer remember the context and it makes it funnier

[sekizein]

it’s ok emmet ur brother is mean to me too

" HE KEEPS DOING THAT. AND I WONT STAND FOR IT ANY LONGER, MR SCIENCE MAN. " / @aachromaa

[sydmarch]

you have to understand. he is like ouppy to me

ok there was a post I that I apparently made in a dream last night (i dont remember actually making it in the dream but it was there on my blog) that I have to recreate but instead of making it it's own post im gonna add it as a reblog of this one so there's context

[hyperfixation-train-station]

Chapter One

✧ Word Count: 1908 words

✧ Author’s Note: This starts at the choosing ceremony after the test has already been done. Four and Eric are also actually friends in this because I think that is a funnier dynamic then them hating each other.

✧ Summary: After making her decision to join Dauntless, Wyn runs into a familiar face on the rooftop of the Dauntless building, she was not expecting to see him so soon, will he remember her? Will he hinder her chances at succeeding at Dauntless?

✧ Warnings: foul language

Everything before this moment will be forgotten, I declare. Anything before the sound of my blood burning on the dauntless coals at the choosing ceremony will no longer exist. I escaped them, they won’t be able to use me anymore. This is my new life and I intend to leave every part of my past in Candour behind, for good. 

I don’t turn back to see the looks on my faction's face, I won’t give them the satisfaction. Instead I turn and walk to my new cheering faction with my head held high, for the first time in years I smile and let excitement overtake me.

The rest of the ceremony is a blur, filled with loud sobbing from parents and cheers from the faction chosen. I didn’t pay all that much attention after my turn at the bowls. When the ceremony finally comes to an end I rise with my new faction… no, that's wrong, it is just my faction now, I have always belonged here despite not being born in Dauntless, I was born a Dauntless.

Once out of the building we all start running, I follow along making sure to keep up with the Dauntless born, I am already starting at a disadvantage to them, so I want to stick close and observe them the best I can. I already know we are heading to the train tracks. I started observing the Dauntless years ago to prepare for this day, I didn’t need the test to tell me where I belonged, that was set in stone since birth. I follow behind one of the Dauntless born, watching her black ponytail swing back and forth as I follow her up the bridges column to the train tracks. She has quite a few tattoos already that I admire. Once at the tracks we wait for the tell tale sign of the rumbling of the train to know it is coming.

“Get ready” the Dauntless girl I followed yelled to the others, I turned and saw the train approaching and started running behind the girl again. I feel the rush of wind from the train as it speeds beside me, she jumps, grabs the handle on the outside of the train car and hits the button to open the train car door before disappearing inside the train car. I copy her movements and make it into the train with the same amount of efficiency as the girl. That was a lot easier than I thought it would be. I look around the train car and only see the black clothing of the Dauntless born around me. I seem to be the only transfer that made it into the first train car. 

“Hey Candour” the girl with the black ponytail says “what’s your name?” 

“Wyn” I reply, rolling my eyes at the use of my old Factions name, but I don’t fault her, as I would call her Dauntless in the same context “and yours? 

“Rory” she says “it’s pretty impressive that you kept up with us and made it into this car, I have high hopes that I will see you around the compound for… well the rest of our lives I guess”

“Is that your way of saying you think I will pass initiation, which I know I will, and that you want to be friends?” I say with a smirk, enjoying her shocked expression at my blatant statement.

“You know what yeah, I like you” she says and turns to the rest of the Dauntless born “I call dibs on this transfer being my adoptive Dauntless” I hear many groans and comments about that being unfair from the other Dauntless borns and can’t help but laugh at their antics

“Alright Wyn get ready” Rory states

“Ready for?” I say, but I get my answer when they start jumping onto the building roof our car is currently in front of.  I don’t have time to think before I leap out of the car myself to make sure I am not left behind. I manage to land on my feet and scowl at Rory

 “couldn’t have given me a bit more of a warning asshole” she just laughs and shrugs with a massive grin on her face 

“Where is the fun in that” she says, I huff and turn to watch the others jump out onto the roof, I notice some who refuse to jump and stay in the train cars. I nudge Rory with my elbow and ask 

“What happens to the ones who didn’t jump? The trains don’t stop, how are they expecting to get off?” 

“Well they become factionless, but I think a patrol is sent out and they essentially throw them off the train” I raise my eyebrow at her response “Like throw them off onto a roof like this” she clarifies and I nod. 

I continue to look around at my surroundings when my eyes halt on a familiar set of eyes. I feel like it was a lifetime ago when I first saw the dauntless boy's—well, man's now—face in front of me. He's grown a lot since that fateful day a little over a year ago, gaining more muscle and tattoos, but those piercing eyes will always be seared in my memory. Nobody could ever forget eyes that reach as deeply into the soul as his do. My knight, clad in his faction's colour black instead of armour, looming ominously at the edge of the rooftop, his arms crossed, casting his gaze on my fellow initiates, taking in every detail he can, as he always seems to do. His demeanour makes it quite evident that he is a valued and significant member of Dauntless. Will his memory of me help or hinder my time as an initiate? I never imagined I'd see him in such a short time. The memories of that day flow through my mind again, and I can feel anxiety rising in my throat. I felt his eyes linger on me as he scanned the crowd. I inhaled slowly and met his gaze yet again. I only needed to glance into his eyes to know that he remembers me precisely as I remember him. I attempted to shrink into myself to escape from those eyes, wrapping my arms around myself - feeling vulnerable in his gaze. Then it all clicks into place. This is why I'm here: to put an end to hiding and living in fear. I force myself to keep my arms by my sides and maintain eye contact with him while the realisation races through my head. A part of me wants to look down and submit like I've always been instructed to, but another part of me tells me that this time, I won't be the scared girl he had to save; instead, I'm dauntless and I'll prove to him and everyone else that fear can no longer control me and that fear should be afraid of me. 

We break eye contact as he begins to speak,

"All right, listen up!" his voice filled with authority that instantly silences the crowd 

"I'm Eric. I'm one of your leaders. If you want to enter Dauntless, this is the way in." He motions off the side of the building we are on. I feel a wave of unease and confusion run through the group of us. Does he mean we have to jump off the side of a building just to enter Dauntless every time? Seems a little inefficient to me.

"And if you don't have the guts to jump..." he pauses, looking around the crowd once again "then you don't belong in Dauntless."

"Is there water at the bottom, or something?" a loud mouth Candour boy asks. I scoff, of course leave it to Candour to not be able to shut up for longer than 30 minutes. 

"I guess you'll find out." Eric responds, giving the boy a once over "Or not." he shrugs. I quietly chuckle, finding it amusing how easily Eric put the boy in his place. I see Eric’s eyes dart to me for a second before looking away. 

“Well who wants to go first” Eric says crossing his arms

“Me” I say without thinking, I take a breath and walk towards the edge of the roof beside Eric, I stand up on the ledge and look at Eric, we make eye contact for a second before I break it and look down and see there is a hole in the roof of the building about 30 ft below us, but through the hole it is just black, so I have no idea what is down there, but there has to be something. They can’t kill us all on the first day, that wouldn’t make sense. I am about to step off the ledge when I see a streak of blue that crashes into Eric, sending Erich crashing into me. All I hear as the two of us fall off the edge is an unfamiliar voice yell

“Wait no I want to go first” 

I feel the air flowing around me, I’m falling, it is honestly quiet peaceful, I start to let my mind drift, enjoying the air flowing through my fingers, it felt like I was falling for hours before I hear Eric mutter “oh fuck” I feel him grab my arm and pull me into his chest so that he is under me, then we hit a net, bounce once, twice, smack, my head bounces off of his. Ow that hurt like a bitch, when we are finally flat on the net I groan and look up at Eric

“Why the fuck is your head so goddamn hard” I ask already feeling kind of dizzy, I hear Eric chuckle and then a new voice say

“Um Eric? And a new person? Why did you guys jump together?”

“Obviously we didn’t do this on purpose Four, some idiot Erudite boy ran at her so he could be the first jumper instead, but knocked me off and well I accidentally hit her and took her down with me” Eric grumbles, handing me to Four who lifted me off the net while Eric climbed off the net himself

“Are you hurt?” Four askes, I look up at him and giggle seeing four of him spinning around, how ironic,

“Ha ha there are four of you spinning around just like the number and your name” I tell him with laughing, Four just gives Eric a look 

“I think she is concussed” He said

“Yeah she smacked her forehead against mine when we landed, I’ll take her to the infirmary while you and Lauren deal with the rest of them” Eric says, then turning to me “What’s your name?” Eric asks me

“Wyn” I say, “But like spelt W-Y-N… I’m pretty sure” I say rubbing my head

“Okay, First jumper Wyn” Four yells to the others.

“Alright ready to go” Eric asks, before I answer he picks me up bridal style to carry me to the infirmary

“I could walk” I say

“You could, but this is easier, I don’t need you getting lost on the way and I have to come back and find you anyway” He says, I huff and cross my arms

“Whatever you’re lucky i’m tired anyway” I say while leaning on his shoulder and closing my eyes

“Wait no don’t sleep… shit” is all I hear Eric say before I fall asleep.

[nemo-draco]

Bendy: Secrets of the Machine Thoughts

Putting them under a spoiler cut for readability

So far, there is a lot of intrigue regarding GENT and their role, as well as the potential return of the Nightmare Run characters.

GENT's involvement so far as been more on the sidelines in the games. It's implied they have similar issues with the supernatural, and they are running experiments with the ink the Machine produces, the books also backing this up with the reappearance of Archie Carter. However, with the new character. Riley Wells, introduced, it creates a more interesting layer to this, in that it is implied that she was recruited by GENT shortly following her dismissal from JDS. Now, if she is a villain or a victim is up for debate. It could be that they hired her as a test subject similar to Archie Carter and her metamorphosis was just far more severe as a result of the traumatic experience in her childhood, or perhaps she provided the specs that ended up producing a real-life version of "Bloodwheel", the more monster-y version of Gaskette that even gets a whole song in Riley's flashback.

Riley's story is also interesting in that it provides a canon explanation for why the Nightmare Run toons are more monstrous, though it really only does so for Gaskette. She's never shown drawing any of the other bosses, just him. Which makes me wonder if maybe she was part of the character design for only him, and the others are all going to get their own stories later on in the game. I really do hope they go this route, mostly because it would be a nice callback to the no longer available Nightmare Run, and you could have some real fun with the bosses 'backstories', depending on how involved you want to be.

Can think of a few things immediately off the bat: Chester being another example of a childhood fear turned into a debilitating trauma, except involving someone who has thalassophobia strong enough to rival H.P. Lovecraft. Kind of paves the way for a lot of spooky imagery involving the ocean, ocean life, and ink.

Dewey at first seemed a little comical to think about in this context, after all, a fear of librarians seems extreme, though thinking more on it my thought is that he's the product of a different type of emotional stuckage. Instead of a fearful person, perhaps Dewey was created by a very angry person, someone who had a lot of trouble controlling their temper and would frequently blow up at seemingly minor issues. After all, Dewey's main character trait seems to be his temper, as we remember from his character card that he has a disproportionate reaction to Bendy knocking over some books. Granted, between the fact that the exact quantity of books is never mentioned, and a cartoon being a cartoon, it makes me wonder if Bendy might not have knocked over a few books, but more likely a few stacks or even whole shelves worth. I mean, what's funnier, a few books coming down or the library getting a spontaneous remodeling job thanks to a careless patron?

...It's probably not so fun for the librarian, but you get my point. So, potentially, we have someone who has a temper problem creating this character as a way to offset their issues. It might just be less helpful and creating a bit of a feedback loop, where they're constantly ruminating over their problems rather than addressing and moving on from them.

Canoodle was another one that eluded me a bit, though there are two potential driving forces that could have fueled his creation. On one front, junkyards aren't exactly friendly places sometimes, and it would be easy for some sort of accident to happen that could produce some sort of negative association, though there is also the fact that a sentient can being in a junkyard creates this almost weird mental image. You'd think that'd be a dangerous place for him, and this is somewhat proven true if you beat him in Nightmare Run, as he's promptly crushed and disposed of. So, perhaps a preoccupation with death, or a person who is constantly cheating bad or dangerous circumstances? It's something, and it could definitely be interesting played out if that's the direction they're planning on going with this.

There are also plenty of other fun moments and little easter eggs for fans, so either way, we do get something fun. I would honestly be over the moon if they did something for all of the Nightmare Run toons though. Gaskette is a good nod, and Riley's backstory intrigues me given the circumstances, and especially the apparent involvement with GENT. Kinda makes me wonder if they're, in a sense, keeping tabs on people who were associated with JDS, people who maybe would have some stronger ties to the art being produced there and potentially have a bigger reaction when the ink is used on them.

It's something to think about, for sure. If anything, I'll enjoy using these puzzle pieces in my own work.

[justjasper]

i love your E rated/smut writing. do you have any tips for writing smut?

most of these are about reality/modern-based sex writing rather than fantasy stuff where all the bets can be off!

there is literally no god word to use for balls/testicles, it's fine

USE CHARACTER NAMES. no "younger/older" woman, "darker/paler" man, just use their names especially during a sex scene

do learn some basic anatomy, please look up where the prostate is, where the g-spot is

but fanfic sex doesn't need to be instructional, you are not teaching people how to have sex. it very much shows when you write like this

fanfic is also not consent 101. it's fine to just let your reader assume they're 100% into what they're doing, and i think "unnegotiated kink" should be reserved for scenarios where the kink is spur of the moment, not just "involves kink but no explicit discussion of it" (unless they're not meant to be, which one assumes would be made clear in tags or descriptions!!)

that said, writing about discussing consent can be really fun, doesn't mean you can never do it. you just have to vibe out whether it's adding to the fic or not

talking really helps break up sex scenes, so write at least one character who's chatty lol

plan out your sex scene so you don't get stuck with what's happening next. remember you can go back to it to flesh it out/work on the pacing. honestly most of my sex scenes start on the page as a list that goes: LICK LICK CIRCLE CHAT SUCK SUCK STROKE LICK SUCK GAG SUCK TALK BIG CUM

speaking of going back to pacing, literally invoking time can help make a sex scene seem longer without saying "they fucked for seven and a half minutes". "a long moment later" "by the time X, the sun had begun to rise/fall", "long into the night"

lube is preferable but optional, even for butt stuff. sex without lube doesn't mean it's painful or dangerous, especially for experienced butt stuff doers.

spit as lube is not a cardinal sin and is miles better than things that are actually dangerous (engine oil? things w sugar like honey? baby dont give your chars a yeast infection)

olive oil is fine but it's messy and it doesn't play w condoms, but fine if you're going historical

speaking of which, from my experience people in established relationships forego condoms way quick. and in general people forget to use them all the time. again, this isn't Safe Sex 101, it's fanfic.

but on the flip side, its sexy/funny when characters have lube and condoms to hand. there is no funnier environmental storytelling than there being a bottle of water based lube in the kitchen cupboard with the peanut butter.

simultanious orgasms are a pain to time and sure they're romantic but there's other fun climax dynamics. maybe one character feels duty/honour bound to always make sure their partner comes first

come/cum? it doesn't matter, just keep it consistant per fic

similar, be consistant with your body part names, even if you use a few. e.g. you use "cunt" in narration, but character A uses "pussy", keep that consistant.

you can still euphamise genitals without it sounding like you're afraid of them - sometimes six instances of "cock" in a row doesn't flow, that's when you should be utilising your "hardness" and "shaft" and "length"

the brain is a sex organ, and all the senses are engaged during sex. you can bulk out yor sex scenes and give great insight into the character experiences by describing what they're experiences with non-touch senses (or the lack of them, e.g. when blindfolds are in the mix)

even in pwp works, you're saying something about the characters who are fucking. you can give context and inferred complexity without plot. are they familiar with each other's bodies? is this new? are they confident, or nervous.

write for you! if you are a person who experiences sexual response to erotic fiction, then a good measure of your own work is if it makes you horny to write/re-read it. there's absolutely no shame about being aroused during the process. there's no harm in taking a wank break.

[candlelit-cemetary]

Hello everyone. I know it has been a while but I thought I should post today.

Today I would like to talk about gifts from deities.

One of the first interactions I had with Hecate, before I fully relized I wanted to work with her, was a gift I was given by her.

For some context, a few friends of mine at the time and I had found that we liked to trade decks, weather it be tarot cards or oracle, it was up for grabs, given we discussed it prior to. One of the things I had personally noticed when trading, was that if you traded a deck that didn't seem to meld well with you, your energy, or what you had planned on using it for, the one you received seem to have a stronger energy and bond.

This is my own personal experience with this, it may not work for everyone, but I would highly suggest it, especially if it is with a friend. Anyways, I had a deck that I had used previously with Persephone (who I was either no longer working with at that point, or could tell that she was moving on, I can't quite remember well), which was an oracle deck. I traded that deck for another oracle deck.

The special thing to note about this deck, is that it was the Goddess Oracle, which not only was themed around goddesses from around the globe, but also had the triple moon symbol on the back of the box, cards, and booklet. The triple moon symbol is heavily related to Hecate, as she is the goddess of witchcraft, crossroads, and magick. What makes this interaction so interesting, is that afterwards, I had felt drawn to her. So naturally, I did research as well as asking the deck itself. Shortly after receiving the deck, while asking it about her, I pulled her card in the deck. A confirmation.

I only recently realized the deck was a gift from her herself. I suppose this was to make herself known.

What was even funnier, is that I had complained to said friend previously about not having another deck, as I could sense that something was coming. She knew.

Now, I'm not saying all gods/goddesses will gift you something, but when they do, cherish it close.

[welldressedandfandolobsesed]

Could you write something where ward catches rafe and barry Making out or some shit and then boom.. shits going down?

So this is an old half-finished draft I found that I decided to finish before getting to my other requests(asks still open for RafeBarry or other OBX stuff) Was requested not long after season 2 just for some context. Hope you enjoy!

It was a rare occurrence Barry would find his way to Tanneyhill. To the other residents' knowledge, he had no reason to be there. That, and Rafe would rather be anywhere else in the world than trapped in such a lonely house. So, the couple spent most of the time in the trailer Rafe learned to call home. But his bike had broken down the week before and he couldn’t ask his family for a ride because they were out for the evening. The girls on the mainland and Ward at some investor's meeting. And even then, they wouldn’t have given him a ride anyway. So, here Rafe was stuck in the house with nothing to do.

That was at least until Rafe heard the familiar rev of a bike. He made his way from the couch to the front door with a little too much hope. But, when he opened it, there Barry was in all his glory, untangling his hair from his helmet. He cracked a smile.

“Hey, country club.”

“What are you doing here?”

“I couldn’t leave my baby boy all alone for the night where he's got us these big ass kook house we could use."

"Is that right?"

"Yep," then Barry leaned in, "I'd figure I'd fuck you on every surface as one big fuck yah' to your dad. Whatcha think?"

Rafe only stepped aside in response. Barry seemed happy with this answer and almost bounded into the house. Immediately heading towards the fridge.

"So, this is how the other half lives ain't it?"

"Hey, don't take any alcohol, my dad will know."

"I got yah'" Barry said replacing his beer with lemonade.

"So, we gonna get this thing started?"

"Oh, be patient, my boy. I'm a guest, let me enjoy my time here."

Rafe sighed, knowing if he argued, Barry would only wait longer. So he followed him around as he made his rounds around the first floor of Tannyhill. The wine cellar, the sunroom, and the fine dining room, before finally entering Ward's office.

"This you, baby?"

Rafe looked over at the picture frame Barry was holding. It was indeed him. A lot younger, no older than ten. Beside him stood Sarah, who was holding a baby Whezzie. Rafe remembered that day. It wasn't soon after their mom left, Ward had taken them all to the zoo in hopes to distract them. It had worked for just a little while. But, it wasn't soon after that Sarah and Rafe started fighting and his dad got more irritated by his actions.

"Yeah, yeah that's me."

"So, you've always been a country club boy is that it? You gotta be the only boy I know who would wear a polo and khakis to the zoo. That is unless your daddy made you were em', don't know what's funnier?"

"Nah, that was all me."

"Eh, I got you. But, I didn't come here just to chat. What about you slide those khakis off now and we get right to it?"

"In my dad's office?"

"Oh come on, pissing the old man off don't get you off like it used to?"

Rafe smirked and started undoing his belt. Barry following suit. Soon enough Barry had the younger bent over the old oak desk, pounding into him in a way that would make him forget his own name. But, he still remembered Barry's, and that's what he was calling loud enough that neither heard the door to the office open.

"What the fuck!"

Both boys shot up, terrified. The feeling only increased when they made eye contact with Ward.

"Rafe, what the fuck is a drug dealer doing at my house? And...and..."

"What? Inside me?"

Fatal mistake. Barry had dealt with plenty of angry dads before. He fooled around enough in high school to get caught by a dad in bed with his little girl more than enough. But, this was different. This was the most powerful man on the island. Who just found his son bent over his desk, with a man on top. A definite shock to the system. The boat was already rocking, but Rafe had flipped it. And he knew it.

"You," Ward said pointing to Barry, "Out of my house now. I don't ever want to see your face again. And Rafe, just. Sit down, I'll deal with you in a minute."

"No."

"What do you mean no?!"

"I said no, I'm leaving with Barry."

"What, son. Think things through here."

"Oh I have, and I'm tired of your bullshit. I'm leaving with Barry," as he said this he had already grabbed the younger man's hand and was pulling him toward the door.

"Son, I don't want to have to do this, but you have left me with no other choice. if you walk out that door you're no longer part of this family. That means no more club membership, or limitless credit cards, or living here at Tannyhill. You'll lose your title as a Cameron and any future at Cameron developments."

"Fine. By. Me."

And with that, the two stormed off. Barry lead him to his bike starting it before he motioned for Rafe to get on. And the two sped off, towards the cut, towards a drug den, towards a beaten down trailer, towards home. Rafe never even looked back. It took only ten minutes with Barry's speeding, and before they knew it they collapsed on Barry's couch.

“Barry," Rafe started.

“What's up. You start to regret what you did?”

“I love you.”

There was a pause.

“I love you too, country club."

[lexydakitten]

this is mostly for me but i intend to make a bunch of sketches to dump and then work through them all till they're completed (and a few will probably die but regardless). only posting cuz writing things down helps reinforce my memory and also i can refer back when i do inevitably make that sketch dump and then realize i missed like half my want to draw list

need to do two reference type things. not real ones i aint got time for that boo . want to make a specific slugpup into a more formal oc bc she basically is atp and then also draw hc stuff for srs and MAYBE pull some refs off the internet to learn how to draw clothing for once in the process. it'd be a good practice

maybe another leviathan meme that'd be funnier, i don't remember the context of the other one so it stopped being funny to me but i remembered the meme with the shark swimming in the middle of the woods and i think that'd be a funny one to do with a leviathan

and then once i make the slugpup oc's ref / have an idea of her (i honestly might do this one later) i might doodle her with osa while hes rotting bc oc lore. her point is very conceptual atm though i might not do anything with her there honestly. another thing i might do later once i decide is remake my lock screen but i can't decide if i want to do my rw ocs or dma stuff for that, i think im gonna do dma stuff for that - will end up waiting a bit longer if i do choose that one since i dont actually know everyone's characters for it yet

+ i still have some verm and iw stuff i wanted to draw as perspective / background practice / general doodling . there was 3 i wanted to make though 1 is less practice and i may not complete the other 2 when i get to it. that's been sitting for ages now i have to,,,....

obviously my priority will be the Newest and gayest want to draw thought. i need to draw them being silly, ,, i know like half the art i've posted was really jank stuff of iw and aus but i've figured my stuff out now i know. What im doing. it wont look janky no more trust (lying). it also wont become a problem again probably trust (lying) /silly

[no1ryomafan]

Planet Ramble ™️

So thinking back to the ending of Armageddon just for the “solar system got completely fucked” part and this is kinda funny for me due to number of reasons but remembering the fact ARMA CALLED PLUTO NOT BEING A PLANET IN THE MOST FUCKED WAY BY IT BEING EATEN IS SO FUNNY TO ME.

Literally watching this scene with the knowledge of “oh yeah this show was made in 1998-1999” and they mindlessly just have Pluto be eaten because it’s the last planet in the solar system and then boom 7 years later Pluto is no longer deemed a planet. I know Pluto obviously didn’t get EATEN but this just makes me laugh.

The only part of the show that aged significantly funnier with real world context than this is when they’re in New York but I’m not gonna say why. (If you know, you know)

[stellasolaris]

What are your thoughts on the 4kids dub? Do you like any of their voices cause for me they're my favorite one (second comes Nick) and also the changes made the entire story make sense (only bad one imo was them not making Daphne her sister cause it made everything confusing).

Putting this under the cut because it got longer than expected.

Here's the thing: I'll most likely always have a special place for the 4Kids dub. I know a lot of fans will have divided opinions on which dub is the best or which dub has the best voice acting, but to be honest, I don't really have a preference. I like both dubs for different reasons. (I have watched bits and pieces of the Italian version, which is probably my favorite as far as voice acting goes.)

But since we're on the topic of the 4Kids dub, I'll share some of my thoughts on it. Please bear in mind that I haven't watched the 4Kids dub in a while and that these are just some of the things that I can think of right now — I'm sure there is a lot more to say than this.

First off, I wasn't a huge fan of the writers turning Musa into a princess. I thought it was a bit of an odd decision because her being a princess completely changes her original background story told in the RAI dub. I'm also a bit sad that they cut the infamous monster scene from 1.22, which I think serves as a cornerstone in understanding Riven and his character.

Riven: There are many things I don't like about myself, but I'm far from being a monster, okay? I have a heart. And even though I can't be sure they'll ever be able to forgive me for all the things I've said and done, I have a few friends too.

Moreover, I found the dialogue exchange between Musa and Stella to be odd in 2.12. I think the writers tried to "fix" the episode by editing the scene where Stella has one of her impulsive foot-in-mouth moments, but they just ended up making Musa look unnecessarily harsh and not really making any sense of the scene.

Stella: Let's have a sleepover and tell our best friendship stories.

[Aisha runs away sobbing.]

Bloom: Hey? What happened? Musa: I don't know what you said, but you always hurt people's feelings.

On a more positive note, I appreciated the tonal changes made in 1.11. I've always disliked how Tecna and Stella were made to be inconsiderate even though Flora was just as much (if not more) to be blamed. If I remember correctly, I've always liked the way the 4Kids dub handled this particular episode because the writers, in my opinion, did not put Flora as much in a victim position.

In general, I appreciate a lot of the changes that either had to do with fixing continuity or animation errors (1.17) or just providing more context to the scenes without doing any disservice to the original version. I also think some of the one-liners were slightly funnier or wittier in the 4Kids dub.

Stella: I've swallowed like half this river already. Brandon: Just think of it as spring water, only without the bottle.

Darcy: This guy's got a major attitude problem. I like him. Stormy: Are you falling in love with him, Darcy? Darcy: That is a four-letter word!

Tecna: Like they say: when in doubt go digital.

[wingsyliveblogs]

Additional thoughts on Episode 5! 

I’ve been trying really hard to make out the lines from King reading the book that didn’t get subtitled. So far, what I’ve got is:

“lo(?) in the native tongue, for a foe most formidable” right after Azura calleths out

“[something] as nose to nose they stood” after coming back out of the door

Foreshadowing, anyone?

The sound design for this moment gives me chills every time I watch it... it’s really good.

(cut for length and a bit of rambling)

I’ve been thinking about Lilith in this last scene... a lot, since I finished the episode. 

On the surface, it seems as if her feelings towards Eda have changed drastically over the course of a brief conversation. She goes from “you make it so hard to want to help you” to an ominous “your days are numbered”, and it just feels weird. 

However, what is actually going on in this scene, and what the characters actually mean by what they say, is honestly... a little unclear. The red lady who contacts her whose name I do know thanks to the credits but my personal rule is nicknames only until the name is officially dropped in the show because it’s funnier that way tells Lilith to remember what the Emperor promised her, but she gives no indication of what that is. Lilith promises to capture Eda in response, but if she’s been given an explicit order to do that, it’s very strange that she went out of her way to help Eda avoid being targeted over her wanted poster earlier in the episode, and attacked her only when repeatedly provoked.

The order of events in this scene: Lilith implies that she wants to help Eda but that Eda makes it hard. She is then contacted by hand hair lady, who tells her that the Owl Lady got the best of her temper (true, but the reason Eda got away was that she played on Lilith’s concern for her) and that she should remember what Emperor Belos has promised her. Lilith says that she will capture Eda, and once the conversation has concluded, she says that Eda’s days are numbered. 

Given the context established for the scene, plus everything that leads up to it, my theory is this: what Lilith has been promised in return for capturing Eda is that the Emperor will try to find a way to help her with the curse. This would almost certainly be an empty promise, but considering everything that Lilith says here, I think it’s a plausible possibility. 

She knows Eda’s days are numbered, because Eda told her just earlier that the curse is actively killing her. She was clearly worried for Eda in that scene, and she says immediately prior to the conversation with hand hair lady that she wants to help her. Putting all that together... it makes sense that she thinks there might be a way to help Eda if she’s no longer hiding from the law. 

Now, it could also be that whatever Lilith has been promised is completely unrelated to Eda. Her motivation could be more selfish, or it could involve someone else entirely. But I want to believe the best of her, and it’s been repeatedly shown throughout the episode that she does care about her sister, so I’m sticking with this theory. 

[waragainstyourfaith]

Thank you to @broughtmeyourlove for listening to the beginnings of this (aka when I first got my thoughts down) and thank you to me for saying all this in the shower but most importantly thank you @hannibalhadalittlelamb whose art got me to finally think deeper about the nature of Hannibal’s trial. Let’s begin.

Hannibal’s trial isn’t something I usually see discussed within the fandom space. And why would it be? We know the final verdict and we know that besides that everything works out in the end anyway. It’s an afterthought. So who would care? That’s like reading the first few chapters of a book to skip to the final one. Characters change and so does the story as a whole.

On @/hannibalhadalittlelamb’s post (here), their tags read that their depiction of Hannibal is leaning into OOC (out of character) territory. I disagree.

During Hannibal’s trial, we have to think about how it would have gone down. Actually. There was no possible way for Will to miss or be exempt from this trial. His coworkers and boss knew his strong relation to Hannibal and how their professional relationship had definitely, at some point or another, turned personal. The mutual attempts of murder had not been lost on anyone, but, of course, that made Will all the more personal a witness.

However, Will wants nothing to do with Hannibal.

I understand there is a popular theory going around that Will and Hannibal were in a sort of understanding during the trial, but, honestly? We see Will desperately wanting to remain kept away from Hannibal, to live a normal life with a wife and son. Hannibal throws a wrench into this whole ordeal and this trial, after what conspired between them overseas, leaves Will in the headspace and with the opportunity to quite literally never see Hannibal again in his life.

And after everything and with what Will thinks he wants, how could he deny that? Helping Hannibal rule into the insanity plea was not an act of mercy but an act of protection. Will more than anyone knows Hannibal should be kept under 24/7 surveillance and away from every person he could ever harm. Being ruled out of given the death penalty was the underlying bonus his conscience wouldn’t let him think too deeply about.

In court, you are sworn in on the bible, on God, to tell “the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth [...] So help you God.”. Both Will and Hannibal were undoubtedly sworn in, but considering the argument Hannibal’s legal team was using, would you trust a man under the insanity plea or his victim who is an FBI agent more? Right.

So, Will is given free rein in this courtroom to spin the story of him and Hannibal whichever way he pleases. Seeing what I mentioned before, Will is going to remove himself as far away from Hannibal as he can while still being able to confidentially and securely reveal everything without getting his hands dirty nor embarrassing himself. Hannibal does not get this luxury.

Hannibal is a man of his privacy. As many analyses have written and as many real psychologists have said while dissecting the headspace of Hannibal, his need to eat people is his need to control. The trauma Hannibal went through with Mischa, whether you know the depth of it or just the surface, is enough context to explain what happens next. Hannibal eats them. Attitude is Hannibal’s one basis of morals and consensus. “One should always eat the rude”.

To determine their fate and to consume them is him “playing God”, but at its core, it is Hannibal needing to be in control. We see the severity of his true, underlying, desperation come to light at a first glimpse with the gruesome death of Beverly Katz. Undoubtedly, this is one of his most haunting scenes and we see the insides(dissection) of Beverly as she had attempted to find in Hannibal by going through his home. By sneaking a glance under the person suit. His inner monster comes out in a rage during this murder. He is private and anything that anyone knows about Hannibal is what he has allowed them to live to be able to say so. Look at Will’s position once more.

What no one seems to realize is that, during this trial, Hannibal is not in control. Will is the spinster of their life, a life Hannibal used his truest of colors to paint, and ultimately watched it becomes torn to shreds in front of him. Remember, Will is sworn in during this trial. This does not necessarily mean he is telling the truth, but it means everyone thinks he is. It’s a play of tragedy and Hannibal and Will are the two lead star-crossed lovers.

The entirely of Hannibal and the world he has handed to Will on a sparkling platter is being dissected and shown to everyone. The story of the Chesapeake Ripper was undoubtedly massive. A criminal having not been caught for years that everyone seemed to know nothing about revealed to be one of the closest, inside links with the FBI themselves? Tale of the decade.

The spotlight is on Hannibal, but he is being puppeteered by Will without a say in it for himself.

Hannibal cracks as he’s poked and prodded and bare for the media to do as they like and Will sits by and says what he likes. Here is where we would see a sliver of what lays beneath their person suits. Hannibal’s impulsivity and monstrousness under his charming exterior and Will’s manipulative, isolatedness under his empathetic cloak.

We look at Hannibal. He would be torn to shreds from this. The porcelain pot that contains his beast has broken and shattered by the swatting hand of Will, someone he trusted and loved. The intruding eyes of the jury stay on him as he is diagnosed as insane while he considers himself to be in the best possible headspace he ever could be. Everything he told Will and what he considered truth from Will’s mouth was dismissed and disputed under oath.

Hannibal is embarrassed. People call him insane and lock him away at dig through his mind and his things without his permission with protruding needles and telescopes. Hannibal has to play nice to simply be allowed a working toilet and the books that he has collected himself. Anything and everything he writes and draws that he wants to send out is dissected and analyzed. He has no privacy. He is not allowed a toe out of line.

Looking back at Hannibal from season one, episode seven is a good one to compare from, and when we see him first after year years in isolation, we see plain as day these are not the same men. In season one, Hannibal is handsome and cunning enough so that he wiggles his way into the deepest, most protected parts of the FBI as one of the highest-ranked killers on their watch list. He is polite enough to even invite them to dinner and feed them the organs of his victims.

He’s slick and intelligent and Hannibal is the idea of a lifetime.

And then we come to the second half of season three.

Hannibal, at this point, has been isolated for three years and has been under painful scrutiny even longer. During this time, he’s had all the space he could get to rebuild the person suit, but the pieces won’t fit. It’s jaggedly put together and no matter how long he spends trying to perfect its construction to what it used to be, it isn’t what it used to be. Will had done that to him. Will had effectively broken Hannibal.

I see often the running gag that season three is immensely funnier and leaning much more into the comedy aspect of Hannibal during his interactions with Will and Alana and even jack to an extent. But this is not him being funny; this is Hannibal pushing limits.

Looking back to paragraph eleven [“To determine their fate and consume them…”] we come back to Hannibal’s need to control. Remember, in this space, Hannibal is shoved into line. He’s snappy and cynical here. This is Hannibal exercising his limits and testing patience. His acting out and making snide comments is nothing he can be punished for, but it clearly agitates them. Hannibal teeters just enough on the edge of annoyance so that his jabs still hit, but his privileges still remain.

This is his monster leaking through the cracks. Hannibal is desperate. He is grasping for a hold over these people he had looked down upon from his throne in the sky as God for so long. He is rude. This is both his shield and deception. It leaves Hannibal with the idea that he is effectively feeding them out of his hand, that he has them right where he wants them. When Hannibal does this, it is his last line of defense to keep himself from blowing up. Ruining it all.

Season three is not season one. He is gasping and hurt and that is what makes the Dolarhyde kill all the more powerful. The whiplash and bounce back with his and Will’s relationship is powerful and dangerous.

Will watching Hannibal with his dead stare, person suit thrown off the moment he decided to go with Hannibal into that car, as he is shot is groundbreaking. Hannibal can see Will. they have effectively switched positions. As though he were God, Will looks down on Hannibal’s suffering. When Will decides to fight Dolarhyde in retaliation,  this is the point it all cuts lose.

At that moment, Will has freed the beast. Hannibal has finally someone to take the reins of his monster whom he trusts. Because Hannibal never blamed Will, even during that time in his isolation, he was waiting. Waiting for Will because despite the betrayal and despite the hurt he loved him. All that time he loved him.

The Dolarhyde kill is the messiest one of the show, which makes it all the more powerful. Hannibal has--I don’t want to say “lost composure”--but he definitely has dropped the act of his togetherness. In this, Hannibal is free. So long he has spent trying to hold himself together, to fool those around him and take care of everyone and himself. 

It’s a common misconception that a person in a position of power, such as a CEO, would want to be in this position all of the time. In fact, it’s been shown that the human mind needs a healthy balance. A person who is pushed around on a day-to-day basis and has no control over their life would most likely enjoy having control over a person and vice versa.

God must be tired. Hannibal was. Wearing his person suit for years and years, with only a dangerous outlet to relieve the built-up tension of his monster. To place the control into Will’s hands is inevitable and the best relief for both of them. Hannibal in killing and Will in power.

In that final scene, Hannibal has surrendered control to Will while barring the entirety of what lay within and Will has a high enough apathy for this to no longer have any hold over him. They have switched their roles. Now, Will is the one pulling the strings and Hannibal is the one letting himself be maneuvered.

This trial was the turn of the tables. It was the biggest part of their character and the biggest foreshadowing for the finale.

In Florence, Hannibal has the hold over Will. In season two, Will has the hold over Hannibal. In season one, Hannibal has the hold over Will. This trial that has been left out was the missing piece to even their stance and to level their playing field, making it easiest for the two to blur.

The trial is effectively and consequently one of if not the most important scene that was missing from the show.

[lazydoodlesandfanfic]

Love that! The comedic effect is optimum with this setup I look forward to more chaos!

Also, it's like common knowledge in my house that my favourite word is "spatula" (which sounds stupid but I have a reason lol). My primary school was really popular for student teachers, so anyone in my area doing their uni course in education would likely end up at my primary school for however many weeks to get experience, and when I was in year 4 we had a guy I can no longer remember the name of in our class and one of the lessons he did with us somehow led to him just standing at the front going "sPATulaaaa" for some fucking reason. And I do not remember the context at all (maybe that makes it funnier) but yeah I just remember the way he said it with this really weird inflection in his voice, like so much emphasis on the 'pat' and also fairly high pitched for whatever reason and yeah it stuck with me.

Also this was the same teacher who, another time, announced that I was a vampire during one of those stupid heart rate science experiments lmfao

omg that's amazing! I have a word that I associate with a teacher- that being my History teacher. He was super nice and funny, but he hated the word 'moist' and so it became a thing where every lesson we found a way to slip the word into a sentence or conversation with him, and people in my class were flawless with it, you never saw it coming.

[luminous-shifting-vibes]

*sequel* to actual fucking quotes from the shiftblr coffeehouse discord server

once again, it's out of context because x1000 funnier

also x1000 longer than previous post

"ur satan is gnc af"

"Bestie I’m already having gender envy over a fucking demon please"

"O_O ODEPIJHFbavevisdpvfhzdcnjawedsidjksjdkoeirjfmkdsoeirujdksodifjndmksoidfjdksidfj ITS" NOT IN MY FRAFTS IS SPEDNT 1 hour PN THAT SHIT"

"AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

"ohoho sexy"

"I am very proud of myself"

"himbo x edgy fuck"

"YOU COULD SQUISH HES CHEECKS"

"he has teefs"

"SQUASH"

"good for biting 📷"

"he's a himbo basically"

"B͂̒̄iͫ̍̈tͧ̓ͯè̄̇"

"bifth"

"i havent watched blue exorcist in years but mr okumura my beloved </3"

"MY LIFE QUESTIONS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED"

"is it important information to mention that the person i put up for my turn is the son of satan" "I know like 1 thing about everyone who isnt ranboo lmfao"

"crimes"

"tumblr sexyman"

"idk why but my first thought was cowboy onceler"

"I vibe with him but he is very long and twisty"

"steampunk e-girl"

"steampunk tumblr sexyman"

"Canonically bi crimelord I agree!!"

"OOO FRIEND SHAPED"

"ARTIST SIGHTED"

"they look like someone i would want to be friends with but is way cooler than me so i'd never actually talk to them"

"babby..... would die for him"

"honestly i probably kin him"

"i'm sure he's lovely but he looks way too much like my ex i'm sorry-"

"i'd be down for another rotation! i have another twink to show y'all"

"Also :00 blonde friend"

"Let us all infodhmo"

"Hsjagdvbs shhh im on phone"

"Nix woukd you like to joon?

"skitters away"

"I have two braincells and they both drink dumb bitch juice"

"oof wait whats the order again i have 0 memory"

"i want to bond with him over cosplay-"

"Awkwardly watches in band kid"

"One day I'm gonna a broadway star"

"which isnt to say they were bad. they were just fortnite dancing during rehersals"

"I threw it so hard my glasses flew off and slid under the stage right divider"

"anyway heres my boi"

"emo"

"haha emo"

"virgil sanders kinnie"

"he looks like he listens to my chemical panic at the fallout boy"

"Bro I bet he'd kick my ass with his deck"

"bird man my beloved"

"fuck i had so much to say and then i forgot it all"

"Birds!!"

"guiguhuh"

"crabrave"

"She sounds like someone I would end up stealing her personality"

"yess name collector gang"

"alias glass aiden haven absinthe fish brick rice"

"But I have Cypress, Remure, Genesis, Lemres, and Comet"

"And she's named after a mars candy bar bc alien"

"Hey, if plato went by plato, you can be king thief"

"im not dissing my gramma like that shfojd"

"My dad has seven legal names" "bitches be like *looks at fictional character* *steals their name* it's us we're bithces"

"coraline lowkey traumatized me but i adore it regardless"

"mmmmmm magic man :]"

"°0° green man"

"criminal (affectionate)"

"he would shoplift a candy bar from walmart and then brag to all of his friends about the sick stealing he did"

"despite the fact he's canonically been capable of overpowering a minor deity"

"i would commit so many crimes for him"

"Very babey"

"Yes please tell green man he is very pog"

"he also keeps a lot of dumb secrets"

"but I will sorely miss the chaos and energy of this here chat until I wake again" (by request XD)

"i just say words and if they're funny then they're funny"

"* or extremly chaotic either works"

"at this point we are just taking turns rambling"

"oH--"

"bc my brain has a schedule"

"Hopefully they have gyoza there or I will lose my mind"

"hehe yes spooky man"

"my ghost glucose guardian"

"the head of the undead group that lives there, and we end up dating. (yes I date a ghost, no I will not be taking constructive criticism /lh)"

"ghosts r just inherently sexy"

"i mean im becoming a squid thing so"

"Raven quirk raven quirk!!"

"ł â m p"

"łæmp"

"mothman: ooh lamp you look very nice today! do you come here often? mothman: wait shit no"

"I'd date a ghost"

"mine is still accurate, i am still sobbing (/j)"

"p e e p e e"

""@nick wilde is a tumblr sexyman" is the best thing i have ever seen"

"im sorry im cackling like a dying hyena"

"you're all 12 year olds"

"PEENIE"

"He once caused global warming on accident so he could get a tan"

"god, what a himbo. i love him"

"that reminds me of my friends kin assigned me jesus"

"Man outside of battle be like: princely crying but then in battle hes like: "CATACLYSM! DISASTER! DEVASTATION!" Chill out man"

"Every time I talk about satan it never fails to shock people it's my favorite thing to do"

"im kin assigning him roman sanders" ""Oh yeah he caused global warming because he wanted to get girls" "he what""

"oh damn i forgot satan was straight"

"twink appreciation club"

"give us the twinks"

"my first thought was bottom-"

"so many people to try and get his dad to love him"

"daddy issued"

"OH MY GOD ITS WILBUR"

"Big boy but"

"anyways janus is swagggg"

"........................."

"gib twink"

"give twink then i will share"

"holds him gentle like hamburger"

"This dumb bitch opened a book that said "do not open" and got possessed by a little bastard"

"he is. fragile creachur"

"klug is beauty klug is grace i would let him step on my face"

"If I'm playing swap and I have to hear one more "Pwanet Powew" Im gonna lose it"

"Who is to blame? Pandora or the box?"

"Bakugo isnt my type but I respect the drip"

"i say like my type isnt long-haired pretty boys and girls that look so gnc that people have a history of confusing them for men"

"hes a gremlin and i can appreciate a pretty gremlin"

"that is to say i am attracted to VFlower vocaloid. This is a confession."

"note i am a lesbian"

"You may like Schezo wegey"

"why does he have one single expression"

"soul soul eater passes the vibe check"

"magic wand"

"I Want To Hold His Hand"

"i would commit a war crime for him any war crime idc which one"

"my favorite one is when he sounded rlly gay because he said "Muscular bodies keep me satisfied""

"p e a n u t"

"Klug is a homophobic homosexual its just facts"

"grug from the croods is peak male performance"

"jaw drops to floor, eyes pop out of sockets accompanied by trumpets, heart beats out of chest, awooga awooga sound effect, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, slams fists on table, rattling any plates, bowls or silverware, whistles loudly, fireworks shoot from top of head, pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth, wipes comically large bead of sweat from forehead, clears throat, straightens tie, combs hair Ahem, you look very lovely."

"tag yourself im the fireworks shooting from the top of the head"

"i like essays"

"central time gang"

"11:11 pog-" (wait... is that a suprise angel number?? yes it is lovelies just for you <3)

"Then again im also a dumbass bitch who wonders what the souls in soul eater taste like. SERIOUSLY THOUGH. THEY LOOK TASTY AS HELL!!!! LIKE GODDAMN BRO YOU'RE MAKING ME FUCKING HUNGRY. Like. that shit- it's Bone Apple motherfucking Teeth. hell yea my guy. Im hongy now.... shlorp I'm seriously considering this. Like. They seem kinda like a liquid? But a solid? Are they like jello? The fuck they taste like my guy???? I keep imagining they're like sour, like sour candy maybe? Or do they taste salty? Sweet? Maybe some combo of two? Do they even have a taste or is it about the texture? The sensation? God my mouth is watering what the hell. I am starving. I think I need to go get a cookie. I'm gonna go get a cookie. Brb. I'm better. I'm still craving souls though. Which is a weird-ass cringey thing to say but I'm being dead-ass rn. They just.... look tasty???? And I wanna eat one. Thus. I am shifting to Soul Eater for the express purpose of satisfying my fucking cravings. enjoy"

"points were made"

"jello? more like helloooo schloooAHFJDSDAIDWNALDHSJKDAIDANDM"

"WAIT I THINK I HAVE AN ANIME GIRL BITING VIDEO TOO"

"anime girl voice: mmm! mm... ahhhhmp!! mmm, mmm... aaahmp!"

"i think it sounds great i'm going to start eating like that"

"several people are typing"

"do these look edible to you"

"forbidden gummies"

"when I was on lsd I couldn't eat my fruit gummies because I thought they were alive because they had little faces on them"

"oh shit yeah don't do drugs"

"anyways general consensus is puyos are edible, ty for your input everyone"

"everypony is a word so powerful it can bring nations to its knees"

"pls the self control it's taking me not to say "hewwo everypony" in gen chat when someone new joins-"

"hewwo evewrypony uwu deaw cewestia i hopwe it doewsnt wain owo"

"ive cooked up a sowution wiwth the knowwege ive acwued. they say a kitcwen time saves niwne, but im just savwing two. Ive gathewwed the inwedients to make a time sowbet. Thewe's hawdly woom fow seconds when the seconds mewt away."

"I had a ten year old sister... you know what happened to her??? very sad, very tragic... she turned eleven....."

"NIIICE"

"Guts dont say the secks word :( /j"

"watch your fucking language in front of the president"

"im so sorry lumi"

"i think you're like ehhhh 8/10 funny"

"now me???? 10/10. Hilarious"

"sometimes i have to take a step back and remember that this is the same guts i follow on tumblr /lh"

""ok every here's some good shifting advice!!! uwu have a good day" "yeah i did lsd and ate fruit gummies""

"i have one setting and it's whatever this is"

"my bitch ass cat just pushed the door open with his fuzzy face and now my sleeping dad is being lulled into dreams by Cosmo Sheldrake's 'Pliocine'."

"me on discord: nick wilde"

"me on tumblr: shifting water! haha funne! me on here: my hermit crabs are cannibals also i want to eat souls."

"im sorry yOUR VIBESA RE JUST SO DIFFERNT"

"u give off older cousin ive never spoken to but always admire at the family gatherings vibes"

"what the fuck"

"BC I HAVE LIBERTU"

"If you adopt me then yes"

"am I qualified for dad jokes???"

"we're all a lot smarter on tumblr"

"I'm like "awww... sweet... sweet little shiftlings... posting such sweet shiftling content... so pure, so wholesome... does not even know abcs....""

"can't think before you speak if you never think B)"

"I'm not responsible enough to be a mom"

"cat pet"

"show us pictures of the cat or i will do Crime"

"maybe thats me being a coward tho"

"MOTH!!!! MOTH MY BELOVED"

if y'all want I can make this a series bc shiftblr keeps giving me more content

[doomonfilm]

Ranking : Jim Jarmusch (1953 - present)

When you get someone adept at the art of filmmaking that can resonate at the highest vibrations when creating, that is a blessing in itself, but when you get a jack of all trades, everyman who is deeply observant and unabashedly humanist, and happens to make films to boot, then you start reaching the realms of Jim Jarmusch.  As a Midwestern kid who studied at New York’s famed Columbia University before transitioning to a span in Paris, Jarmusch has the unique gift of deeply appreciating lofty art on the same level as outsider, underground art, and by understanding the context that connects all of them, his appreciation of time is enhanced by association.  In a world that has become obsessed with taking in information with no intention of retention at a breakneck speed, it is refreshing to know that Jim Jarmusch has stood his ground in terms of deliberate pacing and tone.

Most of my Jarmusch familiarity came from the first half of his catalog, and it’d been years since I watched his work, so rather than rank what I remembered while trying to fit first watches in, I decided that the time was right to revisit the entire catalog.  Doing so not only gave me a broader understanding of his overall vision, but it made me realize that a director with 25 years in the game is still capable of making drastic style shifts.  Without further ado, here is my preferential ranking of the 13 Jim Jarmusch films available as of March 2021.

13. Coffee and Cigarettes (2003) This isn’t a bad film, but Coffee and Cigarettes definitely reeks of a narrative-less venture.  The best parts of Coffee and Cigarettes come in attempts at placing what was shot explicitly for the film, versus what was shot during the previous fifteen or so years that Jim Jarmusch directed other feature films.  Taken as a collection of independent vignettes, the film is rich in memorable moments, but for a director so adept at unifying themes with incredible nuance, specifically within the obtuse hurdles presented by an anthology film, Coffee and Cigarettes feels much more like assorted pieces than a fractured whole.  More so than an original idea, the movie feels like a deep cut that true fans will appreciate, casual fans can easily reference, and Jarmusch-laymen can use as an entry into deeper conversations.  If nothing else, see Coffee and Cigarettes for the incredibly entertaining scene where Cate Blanchett acts circles around Cate Blanchett, but Cate Blanchett still does her thing. 

12. Broken Flowers (2005) Bill Murray has been popular longer than I’ve been alive, but somewhere around the beginning of the 21st century, it seemed like the entire world caught Bill Murray fever in a major way.  After a couple of iconic roles in films by Wes Anderson and Spike Jonze, his star was riding new and unfathomable highs, and that was right when Jim Jarmusch teased collaboration via Coffee and Cigarettes before diving headlong into it with Broken Flowers.  Of all the Jim Jarmusch films, this one still feels the least like his style, at least in terms of purity.  Most of its magic comes from surrounding Bill Murray with Jeffrey Wright as a human conscience, as well as a parade of memorable actresses the likes of Sharon Stone, Frances Conroy, Jessica Lange, TIlda Swinton, Chloë Sevigny and more.  The film runs high on charm, and for any man staring at the Autumn of his years, the feelings of romantic regrets are likely relatable on some level.  Interestingly, this project feels like one of the most accessible in the Jarmusch canon, perhaps because of its efficient production presentation.  If there were ever a Jim Jarmusch date movie, it’s Broken Flowers.

11. Permanent Vacation (1980) Upon initial viewing, Permanent Vacation possesses many of the earmarks of a student film, such as limited locations, long passages with minimal dialogue, symbolic monologues in place of standard narrative dialogue, and isolated characters within the context of an implied bigger world.  The strengths that the film possesses, however, are elements that became staples in Jim Jarmusch films : a protagonist either absent of motivation or driven from within, cross-cultural fascination and iconography and the aforementioned patient approach to narrative are some of the key ingredients in the Jarmusch recipe.  As a unique voice in a burgeoning New York collective of filmmakers, it makes total sense that his debut would be both an ode to New York City and an ode to living life like an outsider in the mecca of culture.  This film probably wouldn’t be the best place to start a curious party to the Jim Jarmusch canon, but it would certainly be one to circle back to if their interest is piqued… I would recommend this one to fans of Richard Linklater’s early work for sure.

10. Stranger Than Paradise (1984) Stranger Than Paradise marks the first of many black and white commercial releases from Jim Jarmusch.  As a second film, it has everything you’d want to see from a director finding his place in the industry : the cinematography has evolved and incorporated more movement, Jarmusch is starting to let his personality shine through via musical choices, and the stories are evolving into more relatable narratives rather than ruminations on isolation (while simultaneously becoming much funnier).  Jarmusch still isn’t afraid to let his films breathe, however, which leaves his distinct style present even among the areas of growth.  The incorporation of a strong female lead presence (thanks to Eszter Balint’s brilliant performance) showed that Jarmusch had a full understanding when it came to presenting stories for everyone on the screen, rather than limiting his voice to male characters.  The casting of John Lurie and Richard Edson opposite one another is kinetic both visually and in terms of performance, as each of their versions of uptight laid-backness compliment one another.

9. Night on Earth (1991) Of the anthology films that Jim Jarmusch has created, Night on Earth is possibly my favorite.  More so than any of the others, it captures the intriguing aspects of human nature by juxtaposing them directly against the very human tendency to judge books by their covers.  With the vast majority of the film taking place in a handful of taxi cabs, we are left in the hands of the actors and actresses in the hopes that their interactions, chemistry and dialogues can keep us captivated, and the cast presented in the film completely stand up to the challenge in their pairings.  Jarmusch also presents movie audiences with a way to show different worldly locations without having to lean on the cinematic and iconic shorthand that we are used to, such as the Hollywood sign, Times Square, the Eiffel Tower and so on… instead, we are shown places that locals would inhabit in all of their rundown and lived in glory, which in turn, amplifies the grounded realness of the interactions, as if we are looking at a fictional blueprint for what would later become the popular HBO series Taxicab Confessions.  This film sits in-between two of Jim Jarmusch’s most iconic releases, so it is easy to see how this one could be easily lost in the shuffle, but it is certainly not a film to be missed, especially for those who would consider themselves Jarmusch fans.

8. Paterson (2016) Jim Jarmusch brings a humble sense of humanity to all of his films, but Paterson stands out for its nuance, subtlety and confidence in its patience.  Much like Forrest Gump or a less abstract Charlie Kaufman film, Paterson dwells in an interesting realm of an unknowingly wise protagonist tethered to the center of tornado-like emotions and experiences from all they encounter.  Jarmusch manages to take this framework, dial down the absurdity to a sneaky degree, and ramp up the grounded elements to the point where a viewer cannot help but graft pieces of themselves onto the events presented.  As a musician with a day job, I can also relate to Paterson’s displays of beauty found in redundancy, and the peace that comes with understanding intentions for creative expression, even if others see it in a different light that you do.  While not the grandest of Jim Jarmusch gestures, it is without a doubt one of the most sincere and heartfelt of his selections.  

7. Mystery Train (1989) Mystery Train marks the first definitive signs of Jim Jarmusch knowing, understanding and utilizing the tools he’d come to favor in a manner that seemingly resonated what he pictured in his head.  Memphis as a setting provides the juxtaposition of beauty and urban decay captured in Permanent Vacation; placing our audience on a journey with two foreign tourists brings the worldly view introduced in Stranger Than Paradise; and, most importantly, all of the coolness and humor that thrived in Down by Law returns triumphantly.  Jarmusch also puts anthology filmmaking on the table, which is important for two reasons… first and foremost, it would become a style he would go on to thrive in, returning to it immediately with Night on Earth and once more with Coffee and Cigarrettes… secondly, as for Mystery Train directly, it allowed Jarmusch to surround Masatoshi Nagase and Youki Kudoh (burgeoning stars Western audiences were unfamiliar with) and Nicoletta Braschi, and surround them with his talented friends like Steve Buscemi, Cinqué Lee, Rick Aviles, Vondie Curtis-Hall and Tom Noonan, as well as legendary musicians like Tom Waits, Joe Strummer, Screamin’ Jay Hawkins and Rufus Thomas.  Between these high profile castings, the stylish cinematography and the heartfelt quirkiness of the leads, Mystery Train feels like the film where everything came together in the best ways possible.

6. Down by Law (1986) To my knowledge, Down by Law would be considered the breakout success of the Jim Jarmusch library.  John Lurie returned to the fold to provide another performance infused with coolness, but this time around, up and coming Italian star Roberto Benigni and iconic recording artist turned actor Tom Waits share lead duties, forming an unlikely trio with monstrously dynamic on-screen chemistry.  Jarmusch not only switched things up for himself by setting the film in New Orleans rather than centering it around New York, but he turned the jailbreak genre on its ear by focusing on the escapees rather than the escape itself.  The conflict between Jack and Zack is seeded with their individual problems with women (which both include emasculating each man by chastising them for not using domestic violence), as well as each of them ending up framed prior to imprisonment, which makes Roberto the de facto peacemaker despite his huge language barrier.  Down by Law marks the first time that edginess found its way into a Jim Jarmusch film, and while it never became his forte, it wasn’t the last time that element was key to a Jarmusch film.

5. The Limits of Control (2009) When reflecting on The Limits of Control, the word patience comes to mind : the patience of accepting repetition… the patience of a trilingual film with minimal dialogue… the patience of a film that shows much more than it tells.  As a take on noir, the Jim Jarmusch variety brings to mind films like Le Samourai, where actions speak infinitely louder than words, choices come with a definitive set of consequences, and we as viewers are allowed to consider what we are presented with in real time, just like our protagonist.  The coolness levels are also pushed to maximum levels in this film, but then, what’s a Jim Jarmusch film without a generous dose of cool in it?  While it is never rightly stated, I like to pretend that The Limits of Control takes place in the same universe as Ghost Dog, with Raymond having evolved into The Lone Man using the tools left behind by Ghost Dog.  Maybe it’s a bit of embellishment on my end, but it makes an already great film have that little extra touch of pizazz needed to stand out from the pack. 

4. Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai (1999) While Jim Jarmusch isn’t necessarily a household name, he is relatively well known, and for many familiar with his work, Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai served as the introductory film for them.  The casting of Forest Whitaker in the lead role continued the trend of higher profile names joining the Jarmusch fold, and stylistically, the mixture of Ghost Dog’s hitman and samurai worlds with that of the mafia film (which was about to see a popularity resurgence in light of the recent premier of The Sopranos) was alive, kinetic, and rich with varied personalities.  Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai also stood as an early example of RZA’s talents in the realm of scoring films, which would later go on to be a key element of Kill Bill: Vol. 1.  For a movie with a more traditional approach, perhaps even the most accessible approach of all Jarmusch films, Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai is anything but conventional, and it’s the sense of pride it wears in its non-conventionality that makes it the cult classic it became.

3. The Dead Don't Die (2019) Not since Dead Man has Jim Jarmusch picked such a distinct genre for a film of his, or decided to include such a long list of high profile names in character roles.  While the sense of doom that usually comes with zombie movies is present, Jarmusch sticks to his toolkit by focusing solidly on the human element during the early portions of the film where many people would already have zombies doing the narrative and visual heavy lifting, and in turn, the audience finds themselves drawn deeper and deeper into the story well before the undead arrive.  Of all the Jarmusch films, The Dead Don’t Die has the rare designation of being the only one that seems to comment on film itself, be it references to iconic characters from other properties, ruminations on film as a format, or even discussions centered around film fandom.  While most films tend to stay around from outright explanations of whatever the root cause of the zombies are, The Dead Don’t Die uses the vacuum as a brief opportunity to make a comment on polar fracking and other climate/environment-altering processes.  Even the zombies get the most on-screen humanity received since the days of George Romero’s Dead series, a refreshing change of pace that has been often ignored in recent films centered around the undead.  Films like this one prove that Jim Jarmusch has the capacity to make films about most anything, and the further he strays from his supposed comfort zone, the seemingly better the films get.

2. Only Lovers Left Alive (2013) For a man so dedicated to being aware of the passage of time, a man with a deep appreciation for nostalgic cool of all eras, and a man with a rich and layered appreciation for art and music from across the board, it makes total sense that Only Lovers Left Alive would be a celebration of all these aspects framed as an eternal love with a deep cross-section between the original lovers and the tales of vampires.  The vampiric leads allow Jarmusch the perfect vehicle to seamlessly tie stellar creativity from any point in time with a singular line, and the deep implications of our protagonists' names suggest a subtextual lore that one could likely build a cinematic universe around.  For a venture with aspirations this lofty, the casting must fit the call, and the main four of Tilda Swinton, Tom Hiddleston, John Hurt and Jeffrey Wright build a solid foundational square for all characters to navigate deep emotions freely.  If you’re looking for Twilight and Interview with the Vampire fare, you’ll probably long for more, but if films like Let the Right One In are more your speed, then Only Lovers Left Alive will likely be a revelation.

1. Dead Man (1995) While Jim Jarmusch never lost his auteur sensibilities, Dead Man marked his initial foray into the world of larger scale traditional productions through the vehicle of the period piece.  Jarmusch films were not unfamiliar with showing us a broader view of the world we know, but transposing his trademark style into the world of the Western marked a bold (but ultimately rewarding) turn.  With Neil Young serving as his Ennio Morricone, Jarmusch dusted off his black and white filmmaking equipment and seemingly told the production design team to blend all of the best parts of Spaghetti Western and German Expressionism.  Johnny Depp, the film’s star, was riding the wave of success afforded from What’s Eating Gilbert Grape?, Benny & Joon and Ed Wood, and Dead Man carried that momentum right along.  As for his Western universe, the list of names that Jarmusch chose to populate it with is where his style stood out : Crispin Glover, John Hurt, Robert Mitchum, Iggy Pop, Gibby Haines, Gabrielle Byrne, Billy Bob Thornton, Alfred Molina and more drive home Depp’s “fish out of water” characterization convincingly.  Based on its period-piece designation, Dead Man signalled a drastic leap in style utilization for Jarmusch, a creative rarified air that he would return to for several future productions.

[popculturebuffet]

Darkwing Duck Reviews: Darkly Dawns the Duck Pts 1 and 2

It’s a Darkwing Double Feature! Just in time for his ducktales special, I take a look at the introduction of everyone’s favorite Daring Duck of Mystery. In his daring debut we meet Darkwing Duck, an egositical and attention hungry superhero who soon finds himself having to look after a feisty orphan to keep her from getting nabbed by local kingpin of crime Taurus Bulba with the help of his biggest fan. Darkwing owns the night under the cut with decades old spoilers. 

Let’s Get Dangerous.. is tommorow so with that in mind i’m doing a darkwing double feature to refresh myself before the big special. So i’ll be covering both the original series pilot “Darkly Dawns the Duck” and the ducktales reboot episode “The Duck Knight Returns”.  Let’s Get Dangerous Itself because I was so wiped yesterday I didn’t get the other review done and unexpectly got acess to the new episode way earlier than usual so i’d rather focus on that. Got it? Good. Let’s continue past me. 

As usual with a new show a breif bit about my history with it: I watched it years ago, as a friend of mine lent me the first two discs of the season 1 dvd and never found the third one nor asked for them back, nor cared I had them. I thoughtly enjoyed it, had a great time and then it took me a decade or so to actually watch the series again due to a combination of being too stubborn to just buy the season 1 dvd again, a very darkwing move of me in hindsight, and then when disney plus meant I had all episodes at my finger tips I.. sat on them till now.. though to be fair i’ve sat on a LOT of great shows on there including the mandalorian, gargoyles and boy meets world. I have a bad tendency to procastinate, the fact this is coming out so late in the day should be a giveaway. I did read about half of volume 1 of the comic and all of volume 2, so there’s that at least.  Point is this new episode finally made me decide to get off my ass and watch darkwing once again, starting with the pilot and the episodes related to the fearsome four to be ready for tomorrow to see what the differences are (Thoguh I did remember bushroot vividly, so I had that at least).  Something to note before I get started talking about the pilot itself though, is the episode order for Darkwing Duck is a Darkwing Clusterfuck. Now I do understand WHY they aired this way: While some episodes do logically take place after other episodes, you can reasonably pop on just about any darkwing and watch it and enjoy it with minimal need to know what happened in previous episodes, kinda like batman the animated series oddly enough. It was also aired between two networks so on some level I get disney’s confusion here.. but on the other hand it’d take ten minutes, they clearly can call up the creator easily as Tad Stones made a cameo in ducktales 2017 we’ll get to so they could easily get a better order from the creator himself, so they really don’t have an excuse for this, or for slapping the pilot in the middle of season 1. Then again both ducktales 2017 and x-men the animated series were sort of a mess order wise when first put up, so not giving a shit about where episodes are placed for re-watching clearly is a pastime of theirs. 

Now i’ve got that out of my system we can dive into the episode itself and a breif plot synopsis. Darkwing Duck is the superhero protector of St. Canard, a masked vigiliante who takes out crime but wishes he actually got fame and credit for his work. Kind of like Booster Gold but without taking endorsments or as far as we know coming from the future. He also has nothing else as shown by the fact he fights crime, does a training regimine to prepare his breakfast that’s a delight to watch then prepares to sleep. It’s an intresting concept, a hero who HAD a civlian identity once, as the rest of the series would play out, he just no longer needs it. And it’s also ahead of it’s time as batman would explore this idea both seriously with bruce wayne murderer and comedically and seriously with the lego batman movie LONG after this series aired, meaning the writers here figured out what many probably knew about batman and put it into their parody version: Batman is the real identity and Bruce is the mask. Batman only keeps his old self because the bruce id is useful to him: It keeps people away from his company, puts up a playboy facade that draws attention away from him being batman, and allows him to do various charities and what not and help honor his parents in a way that dosen’t involve swooping in and kicking people in the throat. And as seen with bruce wayne murderer when the option to throw bruce away for good came up Batman gladly took it.  This is the same idea: Drake Mallard ONLY cares about crime fighting, has no friends no family, we never do find out jack about his family hopefully if there’s a full reboot series Frank and Matt fix it for their version. He has nothing, and is fine with that. He hasn’t really had a reason to care about anything else than his own glory and works alone not because it’s less efficent but because his oversized ego means he dosen’t want to share credit. IT’s an intresting start and his ego would be a defining bit of who he is and used intrestingly int he reboot but we’ll get to that there. 

His life changes forever though when local crime boss Taurus Bulba unleashes his latest scheme: To steal the Ramrod, a gravity manipulating device created by the late Dr. Quackmeyer.. late because Bulba’s men killed him and were dumb enough not to get the arming code for the ramrod first a year ago. Bulba is also behind bars but in one of my faviorite gags of the episode despite the warden’s constnat gloating, Bulba has taken the “Supervillian makes jail into a base” Or “Jail is nothing to a supervillian who can easily get out trope” to ludcrious machines. He has whole meetings with his minions, keeps the ramrod once he gets his hands on it in the laundry and has a ship SHAPED LIKE HIS FACE built into his cellblock. I’ts just so over the top it’s glorious. But yeah since Bulba can’t go after it at first he sends his three goofy minons, one played by eddie “Mandark” deezen in.. love that guy. 

THey do end up stealing the ramrod thanks to the help of bulba’s cool, non-anthromporhic condor who he uses as his right hand man and as his link to his minons via a small tv aroudn it’s neck. That.. is awesome. Darkwing spots the condor but fails to stop the three stooges or the condor and gets unknowingly blamed for the robbery..and stopped to get glamor shots not realizing the guy thought he was a criminla which.. fair enough. It is a shadowy disguise after all. 

Darkwing ends up grabbing onto the vulture sonic 3 style, but ends up falling off him into a hangar where we meet the original version of Launchpad McQuack, whose apparently quit working for scrooge and has his own hangar now though it wouldn’t be a stretch that scrooge bought it for him.. he does , stingy as he is, appricate hard work and launchpad wanting to start his own buisness and while hte planes were probably all on launchpad, Scrooge would gladly buy a run down buliding for a loyal friend who wants to put in some hard honest work. Plus it’s a free place to store any vehicles he has in the st canard area.. I mean it’s still scrooge. And yes I know the whole “Tad stones said they aren’t the same universe” non sense. I do have the utmost respect for the guy and he seems really, nice but I don’ tlike that, no one likes that and both the comics and the current duckverse with the ducktales reboot entirely ignore that for good reason.While the two shows are diffrent in tone they stil lfit and it’s not a stretch for launchpad to want to spread his wings or failing that scrooge to help push him out of the nest and give him his own buisness or one of scrooge’s to run. 

But while Launchpad does help DW with a propeller plane they fail and while launchpad offers to be his sidekick, DW gives him the old I work alone bit.  However him being alone won’t last for long as Bulba still needs that arming code and since his only lead is Waddlemeyer’s grandaughter who grew up in his lab, he sends his buffonish minons to go get him. Why he never sends his lone female minon with them is because it’s funnier if she dosen’t I guess. Which it is so fair enough.  So thus we enter Goslyn, who the head of the orphanage is fed up with due to her antics. Goslyn is played as most of you knwo by christine cavanagh.. I honestly forgot and it still throws me off a bit she’s using what would later be her chucky finster voice for a character so completely diffrent. Granted it’s not unusual in voice acting, just weird here and only for me personally having grown up with rugrats but not darkwing. The orphanage head is a bit less jarring as she’s played by Marcia Wallace, aka Edna Krabable from the simpsons but A) that show was already running at this point and B), the character is basically a nicer version of edna versus chuckies voice coming out of a tiny if immensly fun to watch hellion. I do like goslyn, sh’es a fun character even in her shadier moments, it’s just something i’d forgotten about i’ll need to get used to is all. 

Bulba’s hired goons come in claming ot be friends of her grandpas and we actually get some really heartwrenching context for Gos’ behavior: While she does act out she actually LIKES THE orphanage.. ti’s just her friends keep getting adopted while no one wants someone “full of spirit”. It’s heartwrecnhing to hear.. and only gets worse when the goons try and kidnap her.  Thankfully Darkwing.. also kidnaps her, but he kindaps her from kidnappers and while Goslyn naturally takes a second to realize he’s the good guy them shooting at him clues her in. Darkwing, in a rare for the series as a whole moment of reason and not wanting to just power though something himself TRIES to do the responsible thing and leave gos with the police where she’ll be protected.. but given they think he’s a wanted criminal they shoot at him.. and the small child in his motorcycle. Yup that’s the police alright. 

So with no other options Darkwing takes gos home, hyjinks insue including her activintg the breakfast thing. But the two genuinely start to bond. While Darkwing dosen’t WANT to keep her around, the whole not wanting connections thing, it’s clear he’s growing fond of the little snot as she holds her own with his trianing course, they have a tickle fight and in the sweetest moment of the episode the two sing little girl blue, a song her grandfather used to sing her to sleep that she teaches darkwing. It’s an utterly heartmelting bit and Cummings and Cavanagh really sell the hell out of it. It also however turns out ot be plot relevant: Turns out just in case Dr. Waddlemeyer hid the code for the ramrod in the song, and when Darkwing sees a photo Goslyn got from bulba’s goons, he realizes this and realizes that depsite thinking she didn’t know it Goslyn had it all along.. and that as long as h’es around she won’t know.  Bulba is naturally livid at his minons failure and decides now’s the time to take this into his own hands and while he actually liked the prison hq setup, as it did make sense as it was the perfect cover and the warden was too full of himself to realize Bulba was still active and too convinced the bull was beaten down when he clearly wasn’t, but instead as mentioned above awesomely converts his cellblock into a flying ship in the shape of his own head.  Bulba.. is a great villian and I only think the show didn’t use him more because he’s a dead serious, deadly dangerous villian in an otherwise goofy but fun superhero parody show. The show later gained Negaduck, so they had a more dangerous threat for darkwing that fit the show’s tone better while still being utterly terrifying, and likely simply didn’t need him till the idea for the steerminator came up. But I love the guy: he reminds me a lot of the kingpin, a threatning villian who uses his sheer size to beat our hero down, is cool and suave and is an utter mastermind at planning. He also wears a nice suit.  And naturlaly he has a plan to take out darkwing since despite the two never having met, as Darkwing disparages when Goslyn assumes their lifelong mortal enmies like in the comics, they know of each other.. and thus bulba knows exactly what trap to spring to get him out of the way and goslyn into his ship: He flashes a message in morris code that he wants to surrender to Darkwing while stroking his ego a LOT. And it works... while i’ts an obvious trap Darkwing’s so full of himself he goes despite Goslyn telling him it’s very obviously a trap.  Naturally everything goes pear shaped as a result: Bulba shows up, revealing gos not only to be right but easily pummling Darkwing. Which makes sense: While Darkwing is a vetran crime fighter and secret agent, Bulba’s been at being a villian longer clearly as he’s built up enough of a rep both for Darkwing to know him out of hand and for the warden to be proud capturing him. Given what univese this is, it probably isn’t Bulba’s first round with a superhero and given at this stage St Canard only has one.. yeah Darkwing is outclasssed and the police grab him while Bulba scarpers. And while Gos puts up a good fight using the trianing course, Bulba’s vulture gets her. Bulba has everything he needs.  Darkwing meanwhile actually bemoans what a dick he’s been, that the first person he’s cared about besides himself in possibly ever is now in the hands of a murderous mastermind, and that he’s stuck in jail with no one to call on for help. Thankfully.. help arrives.. and by help I mean launchpad backing the ratcatcher, Darkwing’s bike, into the prisoin. He DID come just to bail DW out despite his earlier jerkishness, but backed in and Darkwing not beliving superheroes have time for paperwork, decides to just bust out. And to be ifair int his case he’s probably right as you know, a ten year old might die if they don’t get there in time. So off they go.. but with Bulba in the air they need something with wings to catch him. ANd luckily as Launchpad mentioned earlier he’s been working on something special for darkwing.  It’s with this we enter the thunderquack, which is DW”S awesome headshaped plane. It’s just cool it’s got a nice design, goofy enough tof it the universe but cool enoguh to still be fun to watch. Darkwing has really damn cool vehicles, as the ratcatcher is also awesomely iconic. But yeah the thunderquack impresses darkwing and rightfully so and he decides to make LP his sidekick afterall.  So now our heroes fly into the danger zone and attack bulba’s airship with Darkwing landing on the bow and a scuffle insues with darkwing and hte minons.. who use actual guns which for a 90′s kids show is  a suprise, especially one this intentioanlly goofy, but boy is it nice. However Bulba, being awesomely evil, isn’t dumb and instead of fighting darkwing, which he could win but would win him nothing and having gotten nothing out of goslyn, figures the hero might know the code.. and while Darkwing lies and says he dosen’t, Bulba points out .. he’s right.. but he’s always been a gambling man and has his condor drop goslyn to lure drake into telling him , with DW putting in the code and bulba testing it with a bank robbery.. before predictably having his condor drop the girl because he no longer needs her. Thankfully launchpad catches her in time and then they get revenge on the condor with the thunderquack BITING IT.. which is awesome. Hopefully the reboot version does that. 

Darkwing meanwhile saves the day, his new daughter and the city by simply sneaking over to the ramrod and mashign the keys till it overloads, silly, but undeniably awesome and effective. Bulba TRIES to finish off darkwing this time for foiling his plan.. btu the ramrod explodes and while bulba’s minons and goslyn and launchpad are safe... bulba and darkwing are apparently dead and it’s effective.  A few weeks later Goslyn’s back at the orphanage utterly distraught and broken at being basically orphaned again. Naturally though Darkwing’s alive, having taken his old identnity back since now he has something worth using it for and adopts her, hinting at who he is so she goes with him. And Drake has changed.. sure he’ll still be as egostical and impuslive as he was here.. but he’s no longer just darkwing.. he’s drake again as he has someone worth fighting for.. two someones in fact. He has a friend, a loyal partner to help him fight cime. And more importantly.. he has a loving daughter. And both needed each other: Goslyn needed someone who understood her despite her manic energy, and Drake needed someone who needed him and not darkwing, a reason to be a person outside the cape and cowl and outside the attention again. He needed a reason to live again... and he’s got it. And it’s going to be great. 

Final Thoughts: This pilot is excellent. Well paced, plenty of laughs, tense action and great introductions for everyone involved as well as a hell of a vilian> This is how you do a first episode: it introduces the main themes of the show, both comedically and dramatically, introduces the cast and gives us a one off , or rather two off it’d turn out, villian whose compelling and intresting. IT’s really damn good stuff and I can’t wait ot see what frank does with a simlar story tommorow. Until then, stay safe, and happy hallowen. We’ll be back shortly for The Duck Knight returns and then Let’s Get Dangerous tommorow.