#i never wanna be away from her
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it is an inhuman hate crime that I am not cuddled up in bed with my girl rn
#moose calls#anti endo#not endo safe#therian#personal post#yearning hours#yearning#therianthrope#this is kinda just yearn posting but i wanted it to get a litlte bit of reach#because !! i love my girl and i want everybody to know that#i think i might somehow be hyperfixated on her of all thigns???#i really hope not bc idk that sounds scary#but she also literally might be my special interest and or hyperfixations hes soamazing#i love her so much i wanna spend every day iwth her for hte rest of my life#i never wanna be away from her#gonna kiss her pretty face guys !! watch out !!#pluralgang#<- just to piss people off#yearning for fish
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live drama adaptations part 2 (prev)
cast reveal and girls movie night š„
#i actually had the first three pages done for like. months now. and then i just forgot š§āāļø#theres one more part to this but as to when ill finish that. haha#duck scribbles#minicomic tag#midoyuzu#and a bit of tomohaji on the side#doodles#enstars#midori takamine#hajime shino#yuzuru fushimi#tori himemiya#ibara saegusa#this is. a lot better quality than the first initial one amsdkjgshdgsmd i kindaa wanna redo it but its already a multiple part one i dont#think ill do that to myself rn akjdgskjwkjgjkd#its been 8 months i doubt anyone would remember the initial one but its ok u dont have to read it#i completely made up this manga and am now a little sad its not a thing that exists#i wish haruno was a real character i could post mangacaps of#thought too hard about it and there isnt any way to fit it into here but there is also a fourth character harunos childhood gyaru friend#also in love w her. she ends up having some sort of alliance with naoto but obviously its in vain too but its all chill#manga ends with haruno opening her dream cafe and asahi later joins her there after training a new team to take care of their old one#naoto becomes a regular there also w his new bf :] happy ending !!!#wow i have drawn Way too much lately. forgive me for such behavior ill probably be posting a lot less from here on out askjdgksjhgs#needed the food for when im away from my laptop for a week....#guess ill never get to finish that other lil comic i had planned for that sleepover drawing i made back during rarepair week </3#does anyone actually read these anyhow. i talk too much maybe
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fairest of the fair
#hi! im alive and back and etc.#six the musical#six the musical fanart#katherine howard#thinking of that post going 'i think eventually you become the person you needed most' and like maybe that's the thing with my art#this started out as a redraw and <improvement meme> i think i've finally reached the stage where i'm making the things that my younger self#aspired to create. like i can do this now! i've reached That level of technical skill! tiny me would be so proud. it's very gratifying#redraw from august this year actually. i've made a surprising amount of improvement HAHA maybe it was the adamandi stuff getting me#back into digital rendering. i think that obsession has quietly slipped away but yknow. one never truly leaves a fandom. just less intensit#also speaking of old fandoms! we're back with the six stuff haha. as of writing i'm in the midst of blog revamp- figuring out how to chill#multifandom status doesn't mean ditch all the old stuff ! but i do feel much freer and less stressed. i think hiatus has been good for me#notes on this piece particularly: redraw about cutting hair and thinking of the lyric above. also lowkey &j ref + pinterest poem excerpts#of female suffering. and maybe a dash of amanda heng let's walk inspo. this work is really just full of contradictions..#1. the mirror and cutting hair as an act of self liberation 2. the & is part of the lyric but also a nod to &j (in another iteration it was#pink but the white looked better) and like. &j is really all !!! girl power!!! etc. and i was like hmmmm. also matching pink shiny aes#3. the frame as a cage; the mirror as a self reflection idea (ie. saville's propped insp) but also as a sign of vanity. 4. sparkly costume#and pretty pose- read one too many poems about women feeling like they have to be pretty even in their suffering. something i wanted to#explore. and also in 5. the show itself... all you wanna do is. despite all the dancing and pink and sparkly the content of the song is#darker. and even though it's a story of her suffering it's still presented as a shiny fun pop song and ajshdhfhfh ok... 6. the lyrics fall#outside the frame. sort of a caught inbetween. sort of a trapped in the narrative and yet#within the frame it's all. vaguely handwavy breaking free vibes. like i said contradictions?#7. cutting off the long ponytail vs the pull my hair lyric at the end. yeah#8. the blocked off & looks a bit like scissors. positioned to cut right at the neck#anyways yeah irl remains hectic! but if i get around to more doodles they'll appear here :)
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WHO ROCKIN W/ PONYTAIL MILF YURI
#this started as me promising to draw lotus/hitomi for a poll that i never did (lmao)#which evolved into me liking the idea of boss and lotus more bc i think they'd hit it off quick#i still think hazutomi could be cute but honestly datomi is my everything i dont wanna separate them#anyways smthn smthn extended joke also abt hazuki being some old classmate of pewter's#and he invites her out to one of his and boss' nights out and it goes from there#zero escape#zero escape 999#lotus 999#aitsf#ai the somnium files#boss aitsf#yeah im not coloring this im trying to get away from coloring every doodle heavily#so i dont lose steam as fast#not working well but im trying lol
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Tbh this accountās become my āletās rant about random shitā place but I have another thing to bitch about lol yall who keep whining about people creating āgood endingā AUs where Anya keeps the baby are annoying. Her keeping the baby doesnāt make it a bad ending. Thatās like a real thing that many victims do? And we donāt even know what her choice would have been, so her keeping or getting rid of the baby are both totally valid portrayals of her character. IMO both are interesting ways to explore her character more since both have equal amounts of weight to them as choices. Godddd please just have some nuisance in a game that opens itself up to heavy interpretation.
#ok but like obvs she would never raise it with Jimmy though I saw a so called ending like that#thatās crazy lmaoooooo keep that rat away from her and the rest of the crew#again I think too many of yall are projecting your own feelings of the situation onto how you think Anya should act#like yeah Iād personally not keep the baby but that doesnāt mean I see keeping it as bad right?#itās a personal choice#mouthwashing#idk how I feel about the aus where she ends up co parenting with Curly though I kind of both like and dislike them#like I enjoy the healing aspect of them but I also feel like they wouldnāt wanna see each other for a while after?#but also they might because itās one of those only you understand this kind of trauma kind of thing#idk lol just feed me more Anya art now pls Iāll take it all thanks#anya mouthwashing#mouthwashing game
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Fic where through Rocket Corp Shenanigans and/or Orange Power Craziness, the Color Gang, TCO and Victim all get spat out into the human world, where Alan then has to reveal to his wife that surprise! Living stick figures are real, he's made living stick figures, two of them don't like him, and one of those two is actively trying to kill him, while the other five see him as their Dad.
All while trying, and just barely succeeding, in wrangling a very ferally angry Victim who is trying his hardest to inflict great bodily harm onto Alan despite Alan being literally five times his size while the others are panicking trying to figure out how to help. Except for TCO, who is just WAITING for Alan accidentally drop Victim so he can return the favor of the Box beatdown.
And Kaori, who Alan never told that his animations were based on real events and real living stick figures, is just sitting there watching this lunacy like this:
#Alan Becker#animator vs animation#ava#Victim gets shoved into a cat carrier to keep him away from Alan#This does not stop him from trying mind you; it only pisses him off more#Alan has to grab TCO to stop HIM from beating the shit out of (and quite possibly killing) Victim which TCO also does NOT appreciate#Neither does Alan's hands which get a little toasty from the fire#Orange and RGYB are just watching the chaos tbh They're smart enough to not Get Involved#At least until things settle down and THEN they demand Alan's attention#Which is very awkward for Alan because Kaori is looking at him with a expression that demands he explain and QUICKLY#This situation is made even more awkward for Alan if he never told the Skittles Squad he was married; like they had ZERO IDEA she existed#Extra hilarious if Alan never kept it a secret from his YouTube audience that Orange and the Gang really existed#Because that would imply that Alan's own wife doesn't watch his animations and/or commentary videos lmao#Alan takes the idea of separating work and his personal life to the extreme#No one ever includes Kaori in anything & while I know the reason for it I feel like we're sleeping on some hilarious ideas involving her#Alan sending pleading looks to TCO: Please don't mention the enslavement thing please don't mention the enslavement thing--#Alan awkwardly: So uh honey d'you wanna adopt seven stick figure kids...? Kaori: That is not the most pressing issue right now Alan!#Kaori: That one is trying to kill you. Alan: I can fix him. Victim: No you can't.
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ok so hypothetically with the way sophieās teleporting works would she just like. be banned from races of any kind because sheād inevitably think super hard on where she wants to go and already be traveling fast and just teleport there?
like sheās doing a silly lil bike race (she canonically rode a bike as a kid and he probably figured out how to ride one in the forbidden cities) w/ keefe one moment and the next sheās in the void and sheās like :| and does the Teleport of Shame to the finish line to hail him to apologize and wait for him. fitz invites her to go running with him at evergreen but makes it clear itās not a race because heās heard what happens when she races people, and theyāre doing fine jogging for a while and then she sees biana off-course and gets too excited and accidentally runs into her the ground via teleporting.
if sheās in a cab with dex on a forbidden cities mission, could she accidentally teleport the cab to their destination?? how would the black swan cover that up???
#kotlc#keeper of the lost cities#sophie foster#i was trying to explain kotlc lore to a friend and they were like WHAT HAPPENS IF SHE GOES IN A CAR and i was like. wait what DOES happen i#she goes in a car?? canon hasnāt answered#kotlc shitpost#bro how would stinaās familyās horses feel if sophie accidentally teleported one of them. like itās only alicorns that can teleport what#happens if you just take a random horse into the void. would it behave well??#tbh i think most horses would never wanna go near sophie again if that happened#i think tam would find her accidental teleporting incredibly funny in casual situations and super stressful on missions#like heās holding out a bag of chips and goes āwho wants one?ā and sophie sprints so fast she teleports into him#on the other hand if theyāre on a raid of a neverseen base and suddenly sophieās just Gone with little to no explanation of where sheās#going??? broās gonna be 0.5 seconds away from losing his shit
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once again it becomes increasingly obvious paul needs his alone in forest time but he really is zito's grouchy wife wdym this man was so ready to hang up the towel after being fired from multiple coaching gigs and zito just absolutely did not let him like thats just how it happened? alright man
#paul maurice#bill zito#florida panthers#2425#hearing the zito calling paul while he was in the woods story gets better every retelling#of course when paul retells it he has to reiterate how good the fishing was those days#āim good man! like im taking this to the house! its been fun! winnipeg toronto carolina hartford!ā#PAUL YOU ARE SO DRAMATIC FOR NO REASON#bill absolutely not letting him rot in the woods is deeply funny to me#sweet husband to the grouchy wife who has to convince her to go on a first date#ānow i dont wanna be anywhere elseā#FUNNY HOW THAT WORKS OLD MAN HUH#ābarkov is an unselfish superstar tkachuk is an unbelievable guyā#PAUL WHO LOVES TO PRAISE SASHA AND MAFFHEW WHENEVER HE CAN#whenever the kitty locker room gets praise my heart gets warm but the WE HAVE A GREAT LOCKER ROOM AND WE ARE WINNERS comment made :D#YEAHHHHHHHH#anyways is it ever a wonder why you cannot take vacation time away from paul#he needs his alone fishing in woods time to survive okay#āim going into the woods and never returning its over im ruined i can make peace with the fact that no one wants meā āi want youā ānoā
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So I went to the wiki page for the henghill Bullet & Brain mission of 2.2 looking for some dialogue I had missed and
a) I found something incredibly tasty that slotted into some other thoughts I'd been having, more on that on another day, and
b) I saw this super fun little trivia at the bottom, which!
I knew Penacony characters like Boothill took a lot of inspirations from old movies, but I didn't realize it was even in his and Dan Heng's relationship, that's so cool!!
It fits them very well, it's such a fun reference. "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid" was an old buddy Western film (from 1969- nice) about a pair of outlaws. Butch Cassidy was the leader of a gang, and described as clever, affable, and talkative. Meanwhile, his closest companion, the Sundance Kid, was known as a man of few words.
Cassidy's original birth name was much more plain, but similar to Boothill, he took on a new moniker when he became an outlaw. "Cassidy" had been the last name of his beloved mentor, who taught him how to shoot and ride. And Sundance Kid was known as he was because Sundance was the name of his hometown, and it was the only place that had ever managed to catch and jail him, back when he'd been younger (also similar to Dan Heng, but ouch).
These two stick together like glue throughout the length of the film- through Cassidy's leadership of the gang being challenged, through a train robbery gone wrong, through being pursued by mercenaries, and even through fleeing to Bolivia and trying to start over together.
I don't want to say too much more, since the mission title is referencing one specific movie that I've never seen. I kinda wanna watch it now, though, just to see the inspiration that went into Boothill and Dan Heng and how they get along. I just think it's really sweet that these two were literally made to be the best of bros, how lovely is that. š
#honkai star rail#this can be ship or plantonic tbh yall are always free to tag my ramblings as you please haha#just! they're so sweet!!#FWENDS#i would love to see more of them being a dynamic duo further down the line ā”#i think the film moved things along a little quicker but the real life Cassidy and Sundance were actually in south america for a few years#they fled there to get away from pursuers along with Sundance's girlfriend Etta Place.#supposedly they managed to buy a small ranch and the three of them lived peacefully (and even lawfully!) together for like three years-#-until the law caught up with them again#at some point Etta Place returned to the US reportedly due to illness rather than not wanting to get caught like in the film#Sundance may or may not have escorted her back. but whether he did or not he returned to South America with Cassidy#the two of them eventually got into a huge firefight with authorities where Sundance was fatally shot and Cassidy chose to end his own life#that's the most common story anyway. some also say Cassidy snuck back into the US again where he lived quietly until his death.#but it reads kind of like rumors of Elvis Presley sightings to me BSMZKNSKS#the film ended much more happily with the two of them getting into shenanigans and a freeze frame of them in a hail of bullets haha#i wanna see Dan Heng and Boothill fight together too it would be so cool aaaaaa#they would be great at getting into shenanigans! as we've already seen!!#fun bonus info: Boothill's ult literally puts black bars at the top and bottom of the screen to look like a widescreen Western movie#fun bonus info 2: Cassidy was regarded with respect by some people bc he never stole from the poor he only robbed big companies#this is actually nicer than Boothill is in canon bc he openly admits he will rob someone blind if he doesn't like them BSKZKKZMSKDK#(although I feel like its implied he has more standards for this than he gives himself credit for.#like he makes it pretty clear he doesn't particularly like Argenti at first and thinks he's annoying as shit but I'm sure he didn't rob him#...would have been real fucking funny if he did though oh my god I would love to see him try that. it absolutely would not work BSKZKNSKSJS#hsr#henghill#bootheng#dan heng#boothill#hsr boothill#hsr dan heng
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I think having all the alteans be dead at the start of Voltron was a missed opportunity tbh, I know they were going for a sole survivor thing but I think it would've been so interesting to actually see Allura as a leader of her people for literally any amount of time
#like she is never at any point on screen actually acting as a princess of altea except for a single moment before she gets magic roofied#and put into a coma for 10000 years (stupid number)#but even that isn't her being a leader it's her being a daughter#there's no one but her Alfor and Coran on that bridge from memory#I wanna know about her life!!#I want to know about her friends#her goals#did she even like being a princess? did she interact with her subjects much?#she had her entire life and culture ripped away from her and then we brush right past that#and in a perfect world#i.e my world that I am writing rn#there'd be at least a few surviving alteans for Allura to be an actual leader too#and I'd nix the magic coma because I think that's Dumb and always have#allura vld#princess allura
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+ template for all your shino meme needs
3am shino strikes again, i see you're all bugboy appreciators as well.
(i won't be posting shino all the time since i'm using this blog as a place for all my doodles, but rest assured bugboy is very dear to my heart <3)
#aburame shino#shino aburame#naruto#fanart#my art#doodle#team 8#won't tag kiba and hinata (or kurenai) bc i don't wanna clog up their tags or anything#but if enough people tell me to do it i'll add their tags#idk actual tumblr tag etiquette man i came from pinterest#shino so easy to draw... but poses are very much not.....#shino bred an antibody to be close with torune even after he was taken away <///////3#yes he does have little graves for every single kikaichu he fed to the rinkaichu.#he has a mini memorial stone in his room and he carves the name of every single bug used to feed the rinkaichu on it.#there's a bigger stone for kikaichu who die regular deaths. several stones actually. shibi's garden has a corner full of rocks.#shino regularly commits theft but only on local insects#the cup is full of termites yes#of course kiba's dancing with akamaru he'd never leave a homie out#ive never drawn kurenai before. i can't believe my first depiction of her is for a meme redraw. i'm so sorry ma'am.#same with hinata actually. im so sorry to the both of you#once again no watermark or signature#don't break internet law by reposting but if you're so determined to do so credit me#get used to the long tags in my posts btw these are around 3 hours of my inner thoughts while doodling
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it was so stupidly difficult to find any nutritionist who has experience with arfid & takes insurance so after having to go through all these referrals my therapist sent me & jumping through hoops I lowkey hate the lady lmao feels like such a waste of time & energy
#its only our third time meeting but its so beyond fucking frustrating to feel like we spent the whole hour going in circles & lowkey arguing#& like she never actually listened to any of the things ive told her. like the ENTIRW REASON i told her i was seeking extra help after#dealing w arfid type noncense all my life was 'achieving goal x is always kind of tough but im trying to do it while also achieving goal y &#im struggling with finding a way to balance the two things' like thats IT & then as shes suggesting things to try im like idk of those are#worth the effort bcus they conflict w goal y & shes like. have you considered not worrying about that so you can focus on x?#like NO bcus thats what i was previoislt doing & it doesnt fucking work for me! & she was just not understanding what i meant by adding#variety or having 'better options' shes all like. ok but even if this new thing conflicts with goal y it can just be another option for you#like thats not the POINT i already have enough options i can switch between that conflict with that like the whole point is i need to fill#the gaps w things that are nutritionally different. like if im ok with something thatll use up a significant portion of ny daily values of#shit then i already have multiple options that i actively like well enough i dont wanna waste my time adding more that are things i think#are just ok but take more work. literally whats the point of that#& im like i think rather than me just thinking of random shit i think i could try itd be helpful if I could like get some guidance on like#what are some things that fall into somewhere into this category or this adjacent category while also not being this other thing & then i#cab like determine from there what i already like & can try & add more of & things from that list that sound like sth i can try#& shes like well idk theres a lot of foods out there. YEAH ABD ISNT IT YOUR FUCKING JOB TO KNOW ABOUT FOOD? like i gave fairly specific#parameters this isnt like a 'list every food on earth' type of question what am i even paying you for if you cant come up with a list#like that. & she jept getting hung up on like well lots of things that are the most calorically dense are gonna be like that like ok it#doesnt have to be the MOST dense maybe think about it like 'the densest things in this other category' which sounded straightforward to me#but she was just like continuing to argue & also like getting hung up on reminding me that everything is dependent on portions like#I FUCKING KNOW?? like if a serving of something is like 10% of my dv id rather find something where a serving is 5% etc. idk how thats like#a hard concept like whats the point of adding something to be like oh sure ill have a third of a serving & get 50 extra calories out of it#be so fr rn im so beyond frustrated still even tho its been hours since i talked to her this is more stressful & annoying than the stress of#just trying to figure shit out on my own i fucking hate having to try & re explain nyaelf ivee & over & have someone just talk over me &#fail to understand what im getting at. im one more shitty session away from quitting & just resigining myself to 70% liquid diet#anyways#texticles
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MC: Please, Dazai, after everything weāve been through together. You canāt do this. Dazai: Iām sorry MC. MC: Iām begging you. Donāt do it. Dazai: It has to be done. MC: Dazai: MC: Dazai: *Places +4* Uno.
#ikevamp#ikemen vampire#ikevamp incorrect quotes#ikevamp dazai#ikevamp mc#okay but rereading dazai's route in english has been a hell of a ride#i love how the game is like 'be warned if you try to date one of the other jpn guys. they will meme.'#and tbh? i think that's fking brilliant good show everyone#like on the one hand yes i think its very sweet they care about her comfort so far away from home#and how they bond over having a similar homeland#but then they just straight up get so chaotic at points and i wheeze laugh#i will never forget doing one of sebas' bday stories and mc is like#'take those clothes off'#vital context: mc didnt want him to wear work clothes on their bday date--she wanted him to wear 'we're on a date clothes'#but sebas just replies 'but i don't wanna go to work naked š'#and she's just like 'AKIHIKO I S2G'#and to this day every single time i remember i become monsieur de wahaha actually#i find it hysterically funny how pissy sebas gets about dazai's silly goose antics#meanwhile gilligan's cut to sebas being absolutely out of pocket when left unsupervised#the duality of man that these two manage to carry#you know it just occurred to me that perhaps sebas gets mad bc dazai is so averse to letting anyone help or care about him in return#and that's really sweet if that's the case (although I suspect it is also partially that he makes more work for him kalhdgkhsfsjhk)#godspeed dazai doors are the oppressor windows are freedom#don't let the establishment fool you
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I am not immune to any cutes - including Rick and Morty cutes, unfortunately (Patreon)
#Doodles#Keroppi#Princess Tutu#Ahiru#Rick and Morty#Drizz#Tinkles the Magic Ballerina Lamb#And friend - and tree lol#Cure#And the really cute preying mantis girl from Vindicators 2 - what was with that miniseries having a bunch of cute designs anyway#This really is a RaM-heavy cutes dump - look if they're cute they're cute! I can't help that!#From the top first tho! Lol#Got the urge to draw some of my Sanrio faves - Cinnamoroll specifically - but I ended up only drawing Keroppi#I didn't think I had all that much of an opinion on Keroppi apart from y'know - cute lol but I like him quite a lot I think!#Simple little guy :) I like those kinds of squishy little guys haha#I already like Kuromi too so I guess I just?? have several faves now?? Alright cool lol bully for me#I can't explain the baseball uniform outside of the stripes and sometimes I just wanna draw a batter - OFFxSanrio when lol#Random e'phant for funsies :) I can't imagine what has me wanting to doodle a little trunk creachur for some reason haha#And then an Ahiru! Hweh!!! I'm still glad I added Princess Tutu to my rotation but hweh ;;#Might have maybe been poking around AO3 for post-canon fics of her being happy - not even necessarily Fix-It Fics just - she deserves happy!#There was a quite cute one of Fakir comforting her during a thunderstorm by running a sinkful of water for her :') Cute#And then the rest - Rick and Morty sheesh#Who could have figured there'd be so Much cutes! Like I personally kinda like the RaM aesthetic - especially the colours they're really nice#And yeah like Tinkles is designed to be endearing on purpose - which now that I think of it that's another thing I really like isn't it#Gigglepies and Osomons and Twonkies... Yeah the parasitic good-memory alien fits right in with that#Too bad we never see their real form while alive it's only their illusory form until they die aw#As mentioned Drizz and the Mantid girl are both so cute like this isn't fair honestly - and those trees??? In the flashback??#There's nearly matching ones in Webkinz actually which I think is very funny lol#Cure is absolutely no help with any of this - doesn't help that Never-Past-Bedtime-Land and Froopyland are both kinda like where she lives#I blame her for enjoying hopping back in she refuses to shy away from enjoyment pfbtl okay fine
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Omg...... Like Mother, Like Daughter is doomed Yuri (half yuri? One sided yuri?). TT0TT Sol doesn't feel the same way I'm pretty sure (sadly), but Som is DEF down bad. TT0TT And Som's not exactly the most mentally stable jakfjdksalfj (I think she has a bit of a "Sol's my pet" vibe going on as well. Som means well but she is NOT healthy either jfakslfj oh this is just going to be a fucking wreck I'm ready let's GO!)
(spoilers under cut, also under cut cause length and pictures)
Like she saw the boy Sol is hanging out with and was just ">:("
*sobbing* She is SO DONE when she finds out they are dating TT0TT
*sobs* ahhhh! klasjfdk OhmyGOAD SHE is tREMBLING as Sol tells her how she got with the guy TT0TT
She is literally SULLEN that Sol and guy have been dating FOR A MONTH! she looks os SICK TT0TT
My poor girl is literally doing the Arthur fist clench with her fist TT0TT
Som! Som! Girlie! I don't think this is just a friendship for you anymore.
LKFJDASKLFJKLAJFKL WAIT
"Anyone can see at first glance that he's good for nothing. But how does she not see that?"
OHHHHH MY GOD SHE'S LIEK 'HE SMELLY. HE STANK. HE POOR. HE BROKE. HE TOO NORMAL FOR HER." GURL! GET OFF THE FLOOOOOR!
"To be honest, I wish they'd break up" NO YOU DON'T SAY???? nEVER WOULD'VE GUESS!
Oh I was just here for the matricide but I've been blessed with more angst! Let's goooooo!!!!!!!!!
#āi'm sorry silly.... what's this about matricide?ā Her moms a killer and killed her brother and she's just an absolute controlling pscyho-#-to the point som thought SHE was going to die before she got to high school if she didn't get perfect grades#lady deserves it but this isn't about her atm#like mother like daughter#like mother like daughter webtoon#like mother like daughter spoilers#i need to yap about this i'm sorry TT0TT#i had a feeling when she said 'life partner' in the other episode#the korean word can mean like an actual romantic partner buuuuut one of the words has been associated with pets#and she did compare sol to a pet in a sense#Somyung Gil#Look-Alike Daughter#ė ė®ģ ėø#webtoon#oh wait i never posted the other thing kafjdlksajflk TT0TT#som sweetie let's not call your crush a āstray dogā#the term you are looking for is āgirlfriendā#now go listen to āi wanna ruin our friendshipā and āgood luck babeā you'll feel better#ugh I skipped a head a few chapters and the author is pushing some guys on som TT0TT#(I don't mind the boys they're cute but ahfkljsaklf you got me ATTACHED to Sol don't switch up on me now???)#For real tho Som needs therapy not a partner. Get her away from her mom and let her recover#I love how it's showing her slowly spiral into a villain arc and yesss I saw her becoming way too obsessed with Sol but oof there's some#def romantic tension in there and that's juicy#But right now things are just going to get worse if Som stays near her mom TT0TT#hopefully this thriller isn't a tragedy I need my girl to win!
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I can't stop thinking of Kyanako's Order of Attack au... there's something so moving to me about how things getting so much worse could be what finally causes Amane to get better -- seeing Fuuta dying may be the final straw of getting her to rethink her rejection of medicine. Been a while since I've attempted something whump-y, this was fun to work with.
Tw for mentions/contemplation of death. I don't go into detail about the cult but the doctrines are implied through it all.
Fuuta was not a big fan of dying.
When he imagined his own death, he always pictured it as something dramatic and fast. Action heroes going out in a show of explosions and gunfire. Fantasy characters meeting the shining end of a blade. Even when he accepted his place in Milgram, it filled his mind with images of gallows and electric chairs.Ā
Whatever this slow, lengthy fever was, it was pissing him off.Ā
Heād lost all sense of time. He could no longer tell which hour the prison bells were marking -- morning and night blended together. Dreaming and waking blended together. His head injury and broken leg and broken bones blended together. It was all just pain at the end of the day. He had nonstop visitors that kept him awake and asked him too many questions and prodded his injuries and made his head spin. Somehow, he was simultaneously alone every time he rolled over to talk to someone. Painfully, suffocatingly alone.Ā
If Kotoko was going to kill him with those ridiculous emo boots of hers, she should have just done it. He was losing his mind here: devoid of all energy, suffering through broken bones and a cracked head, and boiling in an increasingly fiery fever. Maybe that was the reason he stopped commenting when he watched Amane pocket the medicine Shidou had left him. Maybe that was why heād stopped following Shidouās instructions himself. Even after losing an eye and taking a beating herself, Amane always looked at peace. He was tired of dealing with all of this. He wanted a bit of that peace.
Regardless of why, it was working. His fever had quickly gone from the biggest pain in his ass to the very thing that dulled his racing thoughts.Ā
He awoke suddenly, or maybe heād already been awake. He couldnāt feel anything in his limbs. There was only a breathless heat around him. He raised himself into a sitting position, looking for a drink. Moving his head felt like one of those glitching computer windows that leaves a trail of copies behind it. The room swam around him. His eyes moved absently around him.
Fuuta picked up the glass that someone had left him. His fingers were clumsy, and it immediately went crashing to the ground. He hardly heard the noise as it broke apart on the concrete below.Ā
He swung his legs over the side of the bed. Heād just go get a drink himself. Shidou told him not to get up without help. But what did he know? Thinking of the man ordering him around only drove Fuuta to step out of bed even quicker. He cried out, pain shooting through his leg. That was right, it was brokenā¦Ā
Fuuta looked down, finding himself on the ground. It was so hot. Maybe this is what she felt, he thought numbly. Was it this slow for her too? Probably not. She had no regrets to fill the time like he did. The heroes got quick, beautiful deaths, and it was the villains who had to suffer the long ones.Ā
He lifted his right palm from where it had caught his fall. The shattered glass on the floor had cut into it. Shattered glass? What had broken? He stared blankly at the blood dripping down.Ā
He didnāt have the strength to raise himself up. He was burning. Why was he on the ground? Was he bleeding? He could barely breathe. What was he doing here, anyway? He just wanted to curl up and sleep. He was so weak... just to lie down... he wouldn't have the strength to get back up again. Was that such a bad thing...?
A voice caught his attention. His eyes struggled to focus on the figure whoād come running into the cell. He couldnāt understand a word of what she was saying, but he was happy when she pressed her cool little hands against his forehead.Ā
He allowed her to prop him up next to the bed. She held onto his hand, squeezing it tight. Why was she holding it like that? That hand was bleeding. When did that happen?
Her arms wrapped tightly around him. He wanted to shove her away -- it was too hot -- but couldnāt. In his ear, he could make out her words. āIām sorry. Iām so sorry. Please, Fuuta. Donāt leave me alone. Iām so sorry...ā
As she pulled back, he recognized Amane. Her uninjured eye was filled with tears. Was she upset? He thought heād been making her happy. He wanted to keep making her happy. Heād never made anyone happy before.Ā
He opened his mouth to say something, but no words would come out. They all scrambled up in his mouth. He felt the cell swirling around him.
Amane raised her voice. She looked desperately upwards. āThis canāt be --! This isnāt right!āĀ
Fuuta looked up at the ceiling. There was nothing there.Ā
āI canāt do this anymore.ā
She continued talking. Fuuta was too busy studying the ceiling. She was shouting. Or maybe crying. Fuuta didnāt like that she was so upset. Huh, had there been someone there? He surveyed the empty cell. What was he doing on the ground?
He looked down at his hand. The sheet from his bed had been pulled down and wrapped hastily around it. Why? His eyes felt sticky as he blinked. Everything hurt. It was so hot. What was going on? He was so angry. He was so scared. He wanted to cry. Why was he here? Why couldnāt he just hurry up and die already?
The next time she entered, Fuuta recognized Amane instantly. Her one hand pointed to him, the other held onto someone else. The second figure hurried over to him.Ā
Fuuta was not a big fan of dying. Shidou reassured him he wouldnāt.
ā
āYouāre wearing the eyepatch,ā Fuuta observed.Ā
He was playing a dangerous game, drawing attention to it like that. He was too exhausted, and his curiosity won out over his better judgment. If Amane was going to explode with one of her typical speeches, heād just let her.
She didnāt.Ā
Amaneās hand drifted up to her eye. It had been hastily covered before, but now it was cleaned and wrapped in professional-grade materials. She simply said,Ā āKajiyama Fuuta. How do you feel?ā
āLike shit.ā
āBut--ā
ā-- But Iām better, yeah.ā
Amane nodded, her shoulders releasing.Ā
āOi, I havenāt seen you in a while. Not sinceā¦ā He wasnāt sure how to finish the sentence. Shidou had told him what happened, but it was difficult to believe. He couldnāt quite trust his own memory of the night. No matter how much clearer his mind felt since receiving proper treatment, those days of fever still muddled together. He heard that Amane had up and switched her beliefs overnight -- she was now complacent about all of Shidou's treatments -- but Fuuta knew people didn't just change like that. He wanted to hear it for himself.
She lowered her gaze in shame. āIā¦ I thought you hated me.ā Her voice was steady. āAs you should. I almost killed you. I accept any ill will you may feel.ā
āI -- what? Youāre wrong. Youā¦ it wasnātā¦ā He grabbed his head, grunting in frustration.
After standing awkwardly in the entryway the whole time, Amane took a few steps inside. She made it to his bedside when he finally collected his thoughts.Ā
āIt was your fucked up family or whatever that caused everything. They did this. And I went along and made things worse.āĀ He looked away. His next words felt stupid to say to a little kid. He felt like the most pathetic, weak, loser. But it was too important not to say.
āThey almost killed me. You saved me.ā
#milgram#fuuta kajiyama#amane momose#i am emotional about them!!!#my other drabble between them hinted that fuuta would convince her away from her dangerous beliefs before things got too bad#but i wanted to see what would happen if things Did get bad ya know#we were talking about what could convince amane to think twice about the medicine ban (if anything)#and i think seeing her closest friend is literally on deaths door finally gets through to her#shes sees him weak and bloody and completely out of it and knows this is Wrong#i dont know how long it takes fuuta to realize that it really was all for him that she changed but he does accept it eventually#it helps both of them grow#he feels worth saving (and therefore worth turning his life around) and she is freer from her cult#not completely#but one step at a time#tried to make fuutas narration simpler and shorter to reflect his thoughts but idk if that worked#i thought they were going to do a lot of stuff with mahirus head injury and memory but they never did- i played around with that a bit here#i thought about writing out amanes monologue to her god about how shes not doing this anymore but 1. its more dramatic to leave that to#the imagination and 2. idk if its silly but some things are so personal for a character and i dont wanna intrude... like yeah its my#story but thats between her and god fr#drabbles#tw cults#tw child abuse
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