#i never wanna be away from her
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it is an inhuman hate crime that I am not cuddled up in bed with my girl rn
#moose calls#anti endo#not endo safe#therian#personal post#yearning hours#yearning#therianthrope#this is kinda just yearn posting but i wanted it to get a litlte bit of reach#because !! i love my girl and i want everybody to know that#i think i might somehow be hyperfixated on her of all thigns???#i really hope not bc idk that sounds scary#but she also literally might be my special interest and or hyperfixations hes soamazing#i love her so much i wanna spend every day iwth her for hte rest of my life#i never wanna be away from her#gonna kiss her pretty face guys !! watch out !!#pluralgang#<- just to piss people off#yearning for fish
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live drama adaptations part 2 (prev)
cast reveal and girls movie night 🔥
#i actually had the first three pages done for like. months now. and then i just forgot 🧍♂️#theres one more part to this but as to when ill finish that. haha#duck scribbles#minicomic tag#midoyuzu#and a bit of tomohaji on the side#doodles#enstars#midori takamine#hajime shino#yuzuru fushimi#tori himemiya#ibara saegusa#this is. a lot better quality than the first initial one amsdkjgshdgsmd i kindaa wanna redo it but its already a multiple part one i dont#think ill do that to myself rn akjdgskjwkjgjkd#its been 8 months i doubt anyone would remember the initial one but its ok u dont have to read it#i completely made up this manga and am now a little sad its not a thing that exists#i wish haruno was a real character i could post mangacaps of#thought too hard about it and there isnt any way to fit it into here but there is also a fourth character harunos childhood gyaru friend#also in love w her. she ends up having some sort of alliance with naoto but obviously its in vain too but its all chill#manga ends with haruno opening her dream cafe and asahi later joins her there after training a new team to take care of their old one#naoto becomes a regular there also w his new bf :] happy ending !!!#wow i have drawn Way too much lately. forgive me for such behavior ill probably be posting a lot less from here on out askjdgksjhgs#needed the food for when im away from my laptop for a week....#guess ill never get to finish that other lil comic i had planned for that sleepover drawing i made back during rarepair week </3#does anyone actually read these anyhow. i talk too much maybe
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I love that we have all collectively decided that Jeremys French tutor is going to be suspicious. We literally know nothing abt this person, but bc theyre Not Jean teaching Jeremy French they earned immediate suspicion
#aftg#tsc#tgr#jean moreau#jeremy knox#jean and jeremy#tsc3#aftg tsc#aftg tgr#aftg tsc3#the rumors flying abt a character that hasnt even been introduced yet is insane#people are already like “what if theyre connected to the mafia”#guys we dont even have a name yet#for all we know book three ends with jeremy knowing german not french#i love it though#the insanity of it all#its gonna be so weird after book three comes out and its just over again#anyone still around from the og fandom?? i wanna know how you copes#what if nora goes completely dark again after book three comes out??#we all know this series is kinda traumatic for her and she has a lot of messed up feelings abt it so what if once she gets jeans story#out thats just it??#there is nothing tying her to it anymore#if she ties up all the loose ends then she can finally walk away free and never look back#what if she writes smt else#like a completely different series#what if she never mentions aftg ever again#i dont know what to do knowing we only have one more book coming out before we are back in the trenches again#im gonna stop rambling and get back to my homework but like... one more book is all we got left... damn
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WHO ROCKIN W/ PONYTAIL MILF YURI
#this started as me promising to draw lotus/hitomi for a poll that i never did (lmao)#which evolved into me liking the idea of boss and lotus more bc i think they'd hit it off quick#i still think hazutomi could be cute but honestly datomi is my everything i dont wanna separate them#anyways smthn smthn extended joke also abt hazuki being some old classmate of pewter's#and he invites her out to one of his and boss' nights out and it goes from there#zero escape#zero escape 999#lotus 999#aitsf#ai the somnium files#boss aitsf#yeah im not coloring this im trying to get away from coloring every doodle heavily#so i dont lose steam as fast#not working well but im trying lol
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do you still write for jj?
ooooh not only do I write for JJ but I kiss you on both cheeks for giving me an excuse to talk about one of my favorite obscure JJ thoughts. JJ x ballerina!reader (gn so technically ballet dancer reader, but you do dance pointe and in a more feminine style in pas de deux so do with that what you will)
They thought you were a kook for the first few summers since you clearly went to school off the island. It turns out you're not, you're just a scholarship kid to whatever fancy school you go to (something that Pope LOVES to pick your brain about since he's dying for a scholarship to his dream college)
at some point or another, there's a hurricane. you end up sticking it out with the other pogues. that's when they notice how... weirdly flexible you are. especially JJ. mostly JJ. it started off small, with you stretching a little while you guys are hanging out in the aftermath since the day after a hurricane is always a free day. JJ looked away from you for like two seconds and you just fuckin... dropped into a perfect split. he's surprised by this obviously, but he's more surprised when you seamlessly shift to a split on the other side, then a center split, bending and moving with impossibly flexibility. then a moment later, you're asking him "hey can you grab my leg?" as you stand up and stretch into a scorpion/needle pose. soon you're dragging him out of the room to "help you with something else." he FULLY thinks yall are about to hook up, but instead you put on this beautiful, artsy, erratic piano music, kick off your sandals or sneakers or whatever, and begin moving like a fucking vision.
you're rambling to him while you dance like it's nothing, but his jaw is on the fucking floor.
"This is the solo I learned last semester," you chuckle while spinning like a little figurine atop a music box, or something in a snow globe, or... wherever else he's seen ballerinas in passing before.
"If I'm rusty by the time I get back, Miss Raine will kill me." you chuckle playfully.
after a few moments, you finish, posed delicately on the ground. you look up at him, your cheeks flushed, your eyes glistening with mirth.
"holy fucking shit," he exclaims, making you blush. "goddamn, princess, that-"
he trails off with a disbelieving chuckle.
"That was fuckin' incredible," he says with a breathy laugh, then nudges you playfully, looking at you more closely like he must have missed something all those times he looked at you and never saw this magical ballet fairy hiding inside you. "you've been holdin' out on me." he teases.
"okay, okay, here's where I need your help." you begin, trying not to get too distracted. you reach out and grab his wrist, holding out his left arm palm up. "I'm gonna run at you like this-"
you demonstrate, taking a step forward. his attention is locked onto you even harder from the moment you grab his arm.
"And kinda... kick my leg around," you do just that, so you're twisted around and facing away from him. he lets out a little noise of surprise. you know it must seem convoluted and ridiculous, but you really need help practicing this lift.
"I need you to wrap your arm around me like this," you say, bending forward with one leg extended behind you, the other supporting you, so your stomach rests on his bicep and his hand holds the small of your back. "And then place your other hand right on my ribcage here."
"oh, my hand will be wherever you want it, cupcake." he says, making you roll your eyes at the (only half joking) innuendo.
"okay." you say, taking a step back. "you ready?"
the first few times you walk through it together are clumsy and slow, a mess of limbs and giggles, but eventually you get it. you call your friends in to show them the bluebird lift you've been working on, even having successfully taught JJ how to lower you and do a few basic steps with you to conclude. you both get through it unscathed, and your friends reactions are very similar to JJ (with only slightly less innuendo and teasing from John B and Pope), and as JJ giggles and demands you come at him so he can lift you again, you start to see a lot of potential in him.
maybe, just maybe, you can shape that potential a little more over the summer. your ballet academy always has scholarships for boys available since they're always in demand in the performing arts. you think there might just be a chance for JJ to do a lot more lifts with you.
#drabbles#outer banks#outer banks x reader#outer banks drabbles#JJ maybank#JJ maybank x reader#JJ maybank drabbles#ballet!JJ#THIS IS MY FAVORITE BRAIN ROT AU IVE NEVER HAD A CHANCE TO TALK ABOUT#ITS SO WEIRD AND SPECIFIC BUT AUUGUGHHHH BALLET!JJ JUST HITS DIFFERENT#ITS GIVING SKATER BOY BY AVRIL LEVIGNE BUT INSTEAD ITS YOU WERE A CLASSICALLY TRAINED BALLERINA/HE WAS A SURFER TURNED BALLET DANCER#CAN I MAKE IT ANYMORE OBVIOUSSSSS#also I have an ex friend who is HORRIBLE at singing (I normally never say that about people but she gave me nothing to speak kindly about)#and she was obsessed with that song#I didn't love skater boy by avril (also genuinely surprised I only got one letter wrong in her name before) by avril lavigne before#but after knowing this person I wanna puke a little whenever I think of it bc I can only hear it in a voice that I can only describe as#the scene from the family guy sherlock holmes episode where the dead bodys organs are replaced with bagpipes and sewn back up#and brian and stewie jump on the stomach and play that one song#toxic ex friend used to sound like she had bagpipes in her stomach and was being weakly and erratically punched by a fatigued amateur boxer#every fucking time she would sing#HORRIBLE breath control. nasally. horrible diction. could not stay on key or on tempo to save her life#so yeah anyway#doubt she'll ever see this much less read these tags but girl if you do??? no you didn't. do not fuckin interact w me girlfriend#and yes this is the same bitch I had to block on ALL social media platforms INCLUDING youtube pinterest gmail kakaotalk and several others#I tried to block her on spotify but unfortunately you cannot block people on spotify (last I checked)#anyway enjoy ballet!jj and this bizarre and vague borderline trauma dump lol#to quote that line from fiddler on the roof “may god bless and keep the czar far away from us”#relieved to say she is not my circus and ergo I am not responsible for any related monkeys
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Fic where through Rocket Corp Shenanigans and/or Orange Power Craziness, the Color Gang, TCO and Victim all get spat out into the human world, where Alan then has to reveal to his wife that surprise! Living stick figures are real, he's made living stick figures, two of them don't like him, and one of those two is actively trying to kill him, while the other five see him as their Dad.
All while trying, and just barely succeeding, in wrangling a very ferally angry Victim who is trying his hardest to inflict great bodily harm onto Alan despite Alan being literally five times his size while the others are panicking trying to figure out how to help. Except for TCO, who is just WAITING for Alan accidentally drop Victim so he can return the favor of the Box beatdown.
And Kaori, who Alan never told that his animations were based on real events and real living stick figures, is just sitting there watching this lunacy like this:
#Alan Becker#animator vs animation#ava#Victim gets shoved into a cat carrier to keep him away from Alan#This does not stop him from trying mind you; it only pisses him off more#Alan has to grab TCO to stop HIM from beating the shit out of (and quite possibly killing) Victim which TCO also does NOT appreciate#Neither does Alan's hands which get a little toasty from the fire#Orange and RGYB are just watching the chaos tbh They're smart enough to not Get Involved#At least until things settle down and THEN they demand Alan's attention#Which is very awkward for Alan because Kaori is looking at him with a expression that demands he explain and QUICKLY#This situation is made even more awkward for Alan if he never told the Skittles Squad he was married; like they had ZERO IDEA she existed#Extra hilarious if Alan never kept it a secret from his YouTube audience that Orange and the Gang really existed#Because that would imply that Alan's own wife doesn't watch his animations and/or commentary videos lmao#Alan takes the idea of separating work and his personal life to the extreme#No one ever includes Kaori in anything & while I know the reason for it I feel like we're sleeping on some hilarious ideas involving her#Alan sending pleading looks to TCO: Please don't mention the enslavement thing please don't mention the enslavement thing--#Alan awkwardly: So uh honey d'you wanna adopt seven stick figure kids...? Kaori: That is not the most pressing issue right now Alan!#Kaori: That one is trying to kill you. Alan: I can fix him. Victim: No you can't.
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ok so hypothetically with the way sophie’s teleporting works would she just like. be banned from races of any kind because she’d inevitably think super hard on where she wants to go and already be traveling fast and just teleport there?
like she’s doing a silly lil bike race (she canonically rode a bike as a kid and he probably figured out how to ride one in the forbidden cities) w/ keefe one moment and the next she’s in the void and she’s like :| and does the Teleport of Shame to the finish line to hail him to apologize and wait for him. fitz invites her to go running with him at evergreen but makes it clear it’s not a race because he’s heard what happens when she races people, and they’re doing fine jogging for a while and then she sees biana off-course and gets too excited and accidentally runs into her the ground via teleporting.
if she’s in a cab with dex on a forbidden cities mission, could she accidentally teleport the cab to their destination?? how would the black swan cover that up???
#kotlc#keeper of the lost cities#sophie foster#i was trying to explain kotlc lore to a friend and they were like WHAT HAPPENS IF SHE GOES IN A CAR and i was like. wait what DOES happen i#she goes in a car?? canon hasn’t answered#kotlc shitpost#bro how would stina’s family’s horses feel if sophie accidentally teleported one of them. like it’s only alicorns that can teleport what#happens if you just take a random horse into the void. would it behave well??#tbh i think most horses would never wanna go near sophie again if that happened#i think tam would find her accidental teleporting incredibly funny in casual situations and super stressful on missions#like he’s holding out a bag of chips and goes “who wants one?” and sophie sprints so fast she teleports into him#on the other hand if they’re on a raid of a neverseen base and suddenly sophie’s just Gone with little to no explanation of where she’s#going??? bro’s gonna be 0.5 seconds away from losing his shit
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So I went to the wiki page for the henghill Bullet & Brain mission of 2.2 looking for some dialogue I had missed and
a) I found something incredibly tasty that slotted into some other thoughts I'd been having, more on that on another day, and
b) I saw this super fun little trivia at the bottom, which!

I knew Penacony characters like Boothill took a lot of inspirations from old movies, but I didn't realize it was even in his and Dan Heng's relationship, that's so cool!!
It fits them very well, it's such a fun reference. "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid" was an old buddy Western film (from 1969- nice) about a pair of outlaws. Butch Cassidy was the leader of a gang, and described as clever, affable, and talkative. Meanwhile, his closest companion, the Sundance Kid, was known as a man of few words.
Cassidy's original birth name was much more plain, but similar to Boothill, he took on a new moniker when he became an outlaw. "Cassidy" had been the last name of his beloved mentor, who taught him how to shoot and ride. And Sundance Kid was known as he was because Sundance was the name of his hometown, and it was the only place that had ever managed to catch and jail him, back when he'd been younger (also similar to Dan Heng, but ouch).
These two stick together like glue throughout the length of the film- through Cassidy's leadership of the gang being challenged, through a train robbery gone wrong, through being pursued by mercenaries, and even through fleeing to Bolivia and trying to start over together.
I don't want to say too much more, since the mission title is referencing one specific movie that I've never seen. I kinda wanna watch it now, though, just to see the inspiration that went into Boothill and Dan Heng and how they get along. I just think it's really sweet that these two were literally made to be the best of bros, how lovely is that. 💕
#honkai star rail#this can be ship or plantonic tbh yall are always free to tag my ramblings as you please haha#just! they're so sweet!!#FWENDS#i would love to see more of them being a dynamic duo further down the line ♡#i think the film moved things along a little quicker but the real life Cassidy and Sundance were actually in south america for a few years#they fled there to get away from pursuers along with Sundance's girlfriend Etta Place.#supposedly they managed to buy a small ranch and the three of them lived peacefully (and even lawfully!) together for like three years-#-until the law caught up with them again#at some point Etta Place returned to the US reportedly due to illness rather than not wanting to get caught like in the film#Sundance may or may not have escorted her back. but whether he did or not he returned to South America with Cassidy#the two of them eventually got into a huge firefight with authorities where Sundance was fatally shot and Cassidy chose to end his own life#that's the most common story anyway. some also say Cassidy snuck back into the US again where he lived quietly until his death.#but it reads kind of like rumors of Elvis Presley sightings to me BSMZKNSKS#the film ended much more happily with the two of them getting into shenanigans and a freeze frame of them in a hail of bullets haha#i wanna see Dan Heng and Boothill fight together too it would be so cool aaaaaa#they would be great at getting into shenanigans! as we've already seen!!#fun bonus info: Boothill's ult literally puts black bars at the top and bottom of the screen to look like a widescreen Western movie#fun bonus info 2: Cassidy was regarded with respect by some people bc he never stole from the poor he only robbed big companies#this is actually nicer than Boothill is in canon bc he openly admits he will rob someone blind if he doesn't like them BSKZKKZMSKDK#(although I feel like its implied he has more standards for this than he gives himself credit for.#like he makes it pretty clear he doesn't particularly like Argenti at first and thinks he's annoying as shit but I'm sure he didn't rob him#...would have been real fucking funny if he did though oh my god I would love to see him try that. it absolutely would not work BSKZKNSKSJS#hsr#henghill#bootheng#dan heng#boothill#hsr boothill#hsr dan heng
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i hardly ever mention Glad for some reason. you. you know the one. the cousin. the mouthless one. bellona’s cousin that I have probably only mentioned once but she does actually do stuff in the plot. yknow. i only have concept sketches of her but uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
#pdbc#yeagh this is not good quality but whatever hashtag yolo#isnea. have I mentioned isnea by name. it’s the previously unnamed desert region that bellonas from#I only have that very poor visual representation of it but it is basically encased in a giant stone slab. only a small opening at the top#so you’d better have aircraft or something cause otherwise you’re trapped there#i love isnea…..everyone there lives under a rock literally and figuratively#I should make a longer post about it sometime. it doesn’t have much lore tbh but I like desert environments#glad my beloved I need to talk more about her she’s awesome. at least I think so#actually I just need to talk about Bellona’s family more in general. she does in fact have one and it’s one of the few somewhat stable ones#glad is her cousin obviously but she also has an older brother who’s older by like. a lot. like 20 years#so she doesn’t really know him at all and he doesn’t know her. alas. he’s tried to reach out but how do you even start that conversation#especially after she went through The Horrors#like heyyyyyyy sis I know u just almost died in a fire and I was never really told until now but wanna go have lunch or something#but her brother has a granddaughter who is Minerva. who is domitone’s friend also also one of the people tryna kill finch#hatred for the gourd father runs in the family 🥰🥰#and Minerva has a second cousin named din. and din. heh. well. he just kinda doesn’t do anything#glad kinda goes through the horrors too tbh she was chillin for the first like 55 years of her life#but then Whoops looks like bellona died and nobody really told her until Minerva brought it up in passing#and she’s also stuck with a haunted key. did I ever mention the haunted key.#probably not! but Glad is stuck with a haunted key and she HATES IT SO SO MUCH#ALSO 🫵🫵🫵BECAUSE SHE HAS NO MOUTH SHE COMMUNICATES VIA SIGN LANGUAGE#traditional isnean sign language to be more specific. ISL tends to come across as rather blunt and doesn’t have much nuance to it—#—which is why bellona comes across as rude most of the time. aside from the fact she is just plain rude#like wdym I shouldn’t tell people to go away right now or else. that’s what my cousin always said when she needed space.#please please please on my hands and knees begging can we have some underweight characters who actually have the effects of being so#i will have to do it myself I fear. here you go Glad have some severe weakness and all that funny stuff. good luck carrying heavy objects#(IM NOT MAKING FUN OF UNDERWEIGHT PPL SHUISUHUHIS I’M UNDERWEIGHT MYSELF I’M SICK OF IT BEING SEEN AS ATTRACTIVE)#also glad likes to blow stuff up. she really shouldn’t bc she’s already partially deaf but oooo funny explosions I should go near it#no little isnean girl don’t do that without ear protection!!!#i could ramble about all this for hours oooughggj I’ll spare you and just shut up now
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i love madoka magica however i dont think we as a fandom talk enough about how tragic madoka herself is. probably because the narrative itself steers you away from thinking about her personally. shes not a character shes a desire that homura has, shes a force of good, shes homura's foil. but those are all madoka's narrative roles but madoka herself as a person is not really looked at because we are viewing this world from an unreliable narrator(homura) who only sees madoka as those things. The best thing homura could have done for madoka was give up on her, to let her go. because every time we go back in time the image of madoka is distorted, she loses more of herself every regression of homura's as she tries harder and harder to save her. We don't even know what madoka originally wished for to become a magical girl in the original timeline. and she actually acts quite differently than the madoka we meet. shes a lot more honest and caring and bold. by the time homura's has reached the actual anime madoka has been reduced by the sands of time to a figment of herself. she has no wants or desires of her own beyond wanting to do good and help her friends and when all her humanity is stripped away is when she finally acends to godhood because thats all thats left of her. an ideal and a faith in her. madoka kaname died a long time ago and all that is left is her ghost.
#of course homura doesnt care anymore because she cant go back she can only go forward cuz if she gives up she killed madoka for nothing#she could have left her pass away with dignity but now shes a ghost stuck in a web of time and the only thing she can do is keep trying#to save her#i feel like inately homura knows this but she doesnt want to admit to herself thats shes the real one who killed madoka kaname#this is a very charitable reading of homura#homura died too but its a clear moment because homura is our narrator#homura akemi will never come back madoka kaname will never come back#but life goes on anyway for homura#heres my truth#i loved rebellion but im actually a bigger fan of the original anime's ending so im glad it seems like red ribbon homu is coming back#i thought that ending was a lot more hopeful and beautiful and rebellion was kind of a downer but i always accepted they were parallel#and seems im right based on posters#for walpurgis#madoka uses one of my favorite literary devices which is the underuse of a character#i dont know whats it called but i love it when they dont outright develop a character usually to signal an upholding of the status quo#i already explained how madoka is not shown as a character but they do this in princess tutu too with mytho#mytho is a character from a book hes not real in the way that the others are and therefore cant actually change like the others can#hes always the focus of others and never the one thinking of others#i mean yeah he spends like the whole anime thinking about tutu but thats PART of his book its not him as a person#anyway ive been talking too much but i wanna bring up my favorite subtle use of this in takopi's original sin#the boy#idk his name rn lmao#hes straight up not present for the bulk of the manga and hes legit just absent from the ending scene despite being one point of a triangle#at first that weirded me out like??? he doesnt get closure???#but the reason was he didnt need it#the focus and moral is that those girls were 'weird' unable to be normal (because of trauma) and their closure was theyre at least together#but he doesnt need that because hes already normal hes the status quo a benchmark for the reader for the reader to judge the characters off#and the characters to judge eachother off of#anyway anyway sorry this has been so long#i had to get all of that out of me
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Omg...... Like Mother, Like Daughter is doomed Yuri (half yuri? One sided yuri?). TT0TT Sol doesn't feel the same way I'm pretty sure (sadly), but Som is DEF down bad. TT0TT And Som's not exactly the most mentally stable jakfjdksalfj (I think she has a bit of a "Sol's my pet" vibe going on as well. Som means well but she is NOT healthy either jfakslfj oh this is just going to be a fucking wreck I'm ready let's GO!)
(spoilers under cut, also under cut cause length and pictures)
Like she saw the boy Sol is hanging out with and was just ">:("
*sobbing* She is SO DONE when she finds out they are dating TT0TT
*sobs* ahhhh! klasjfdk OhmyGOAD SHE is tREMBLING as Sol tells her how she got with the guy TT0TT
She is literally SULLEN that Sol and guy have been dating FOR A MONTH! she looks os SICK TT0TT
My poor girl is literally doing the Arthur fist clench with her fist TT0TT
Som! Som! Girlie! I don't think this is just a friendship for you anymore.
LKFJDASKLFJKLAJFKL WAIT
"Anyone can see at first glance that he's good for nothing. But how does she not see that?"
OHHHHH MY GOD SHE'S LIEK 'HE SMELLY. HE STANK. HE POOR. HE BROKE. HE TOO NORMAL FOR HER." GURL! GET OFF THE FLOOOOOR!
"To be honest, I wish they'd break up" NO YOU DON'T SAY???? nEVER WOULD'VE GUESS!
Oh I was just here for the matricide but I've been blessed with more angst! Let's goooooo!!!!!!!!!
#“i'm sorry silly.... what's this about matricide?” Her moms a killer and killed her brother and she's just an absolute controlling pscyho-#-to the point som thought SHE was going to die before she got to high school if she didn't get perfect grades#lady deserves it but this isn't about her atm#like mother like daughter#like mother like daughter webtoon#like mother like daughter spoilers#i need to yap about this i'm sorry TT0TT#i had a feeling when she said 'life partner' in the other episode#the korean word can mean like an actual romantic partner buuuuut one of the words has been associated with pets#and she did compare sol to a pet in a sense#Somyung Gil#Look-Alike Daughter#똑 닮은 딸#webtoon#oh wait i never posted the other thing kafjdlksajflk TT0TT#som sweetie let's not call your crush a “stray dog”#the term you are looking for is “girlfriend”#now go listen to “i wanna ruin our friendship” and “good luck babe” you'll feel better#ugh I skipped a head a few chapters and the author is pushing some guys on som TT0TT#(I don't mind the boys they're cute but ahfkljsaklf you got me ATTACHED to Sol don't switch up on me now???)#For real tho Som needs therapy not a partner. Get her away from her mom and let her recover#I love how it's showing her slowly spiral into a villain arc and yesss I saw her becoming way too obsessed with Sol but oof there's some#def romantic tension in there and that's juicy#But right now things are just going to get worse if Som stays near her mom TT0TT#hopefully this thriller isn't a tragedy I need my girl to win!
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"it's crazy that there's so many bill redemption aus and barely anything about gideon--" yeah ok i also find it weird that bill got so many of those damn aus-- "bECAUSE I WANT TO SHIP GIDEON WITH MABEL WITHOUT FEELING BAD" 😬
#listen i wanna see his post series dynamic with stan (with it settling at the petty level as the pool ep)#and the awkward as hell dynamic with ford#but if you genuinely think he should get with mabel then stay the hell away from me lmaoooooo#he doesn't even have a chance at being friends#and even if you could ignore the literal murder attempts#he's literally been harassing her all summer with love letters and pressuring her#he can work on himself and try to be a better person and make new connections#but she has the right to never forgive him ever cos he's not entitled to that#.....maybe its a good thing we never got anything in depth about him being bullied in the past#considering how a backstory shifted the fans perspective of bill in the literal most annoying way#.........god can you imagine the m abel / g ideon shippers crawling out of the woodwork
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I am not immune to any cutes - including Rick and Morty cutes, unfortunately (Patreon)
#Doodles#Keroppi#Princess Tutu#Ahiru#Rick and Morty#Drizz#Tinkles the Magic Ballerina Lamb#And friend - and tree lol#Cure#And the really cute preying mantis girl from Vindicators 2 - what was with that miniseries having a bunch of cute designs anyway#This really is a RaM-heavy cutes dump - look if they're cute they're cute! I can't help that!#From the top first tho! Lol#Got the urge to draw some of my Sanrio faves - Cinnamoroll specifically - but I ended up only drawing Keroppi#I didn't think I had all that much of an opinion on Keroppi apart from y'know - cute lol but I like him quite a lot I think!#Simple little guy :) I like those kinds of squishy little guys haha#I already like Kuromi too so I guess I just?? have several faves now?? Alright cool lol bully for me#I can't explain the baseball uniform outside of the stripes and sometimes I just wanna draw a batter - OFFxSanrio when lol#Random e'phant for funsies :) I can't imagine what has me wanting to doodle a little trunk creachur for some reason haha#And then an Ahiru! Hweh!!! I'm still glad I added Princess Tutu to my rotation but hweh ;;#Might have maybe been poking around AO3 for post-canon fics of her being happy - not even necessarily Fix-It Fics just - she deserves happy!#There was a quite cute one of Fakir comforting her during a thunderstorm by running a sinkful of water for her :') Cute#And then the rest - Rick and Morty sheesh#Who could have figured there'd be so Much cutes! Like I personally kinda like the RaM aesthetic - especially the colours they're really nice#And yeah like Tinkles is designed to be endearing on purpose - which now that I think of it that's another thing I really like isn't it#Gigglepies and Osomons and Twonkies... Yeah the parasitic good-memory alien fits right in with that#Too bad we never see their real form while alive it's only their illusory form until they die aw#As mentioned Drizz and the Mantid girl are both so cute like this isn't fair honestly - and those trees??? In the flashback??#There's nearly matching ones in Webkinz actually which I think is very funny lol#Cure is absolutely no help with any of this - doesn't help that Never-Past-Bedtime-Land and Froopyland are both kinda like where she lives#I blame her for enjoying hopping back in she refuses to shy away from enjoyment pfbtl okay fine
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I can't stop thinking of Kyanako's Order of Attack au... there's something so moving to me about how things getting so much worse could be what finally causes Amane to get better -- seeing Fuuta dying may be the final straw of getting her to rethink her rejection of medicine. Been a while since I've attempted something whump-y, this was fun to work with.
Tw for mentions/contemplation of death. I don't go into detail about the cult but the doctrines are implied through it all.
Fuuta was not a big fan of dying.
When he imagined his own death, he always pictured it as something dramatic and fast. Action heroes going out in a show of explosions and gunfire. Fantasy characters meeting the shining end of a blade. Even when he accepted his place in Milgram, it filled his mind with images of gallows and electric chairs.
Whatever this slow, lengthy fever was, it was pissing him off.
He’d lost all sense of time. He could no longer tell which hour the prison bells were marking -- morning and night blended together. Dreaming and waking blended together. His head injury and broken leg and broken bones blended together. It was all just pain at the end of the day. He had nonstop visitors that kept him awake and asked him too many questions and prodded his injuries and made his head spin. Somehow, he was simultaneously alone every time he rolled over to talk to someone. Painfully, suffocatingly alone.
If Kotoko was going to kill him with those ridiculous emo boots of hers, she should have just done it. He was losing his mind here: devoid of all energy, suffering through broken bones and a cracked head, and boiling in an increasingly fiery fever. Maybe that was the reason he stopped commenting when he watched Amane pocket the medicine Shidou had left him. Maybe that was why he’d stopped following Shidou’s instructions himself. Even after losing an eye and taking a beating herself, Amane always looked at peace. He was tired of dealing with all of this. He wanted a bit of that peace.
Regardless of why, it was working. His fever had quickly gone from the biggest pain in his ass to the very thing that dulled his racing thoughts.
He awoke suddenly, or maybe he’d already been awake. He couldn’t feel anything in his limbs. There was only a breathless heat around him. He raised himself into a sitting position, looking for a drink. Moving his head felt like one of those glitching computer windows that leaves a trail of copies behind it. The room swam around him. His eyes moved absently around him.
Fuuta picked up the glass that someone had left him. His fingers were clumsy, and it immediately went crashing to the ground. He hardly heard the noise as it broke apart on the concrete below.
He swung his legs over the side of the bed. He’d just go get a drink himself. Shidou told him not to get up without help. But what did he know? Thinking of the man ordering him around only drove Fuuta to step out of bed even quicker. He cried out, pain shooting through his leg. That was right, it was broken…
Fuuta looked down, finding himself on the ground. It was so hot. Maybe this is what she felt, he thought numbly. Was it this slow for her too? Probably not. She had no regrets to fill the time like he did. The heroes got quick, beautiful deaths, and it was the villains who had to suffer the long ones.
He lifted his right palm from where it had caught his fall. The shattered glass on the floor had cut into it. Shattered glass? What had broken? He stared blankly at the blood dripping down.
He didn’t have the strength to raise himself up. He was burning. Why was he on the ground? Was he bleeding? He could barely breathe. What was he doing here, anyway? He just wanted to curl up and sleep. He was so weak... just to lie down... he wouldn't have the strength to get back up again. Was that such a bad thing...?
A voice caught his attention. His eyes struggled to focus on the figure who’d come running into the cell. He couldn’t understand a word of what she was saying, but he was happy when she pressed her cool little hands against his forehead.
He allowed her to prop him up next to the bed. She held onto his hand, squeezing it tight. Why was she holding it like that? That hand was bleeding. When did that happen?
Her arms wrapped tightly around him. He wanted to shove her away -- it was too hot -- but couldn’t. In his ear, he could make out her words. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Please, Fuuta. Don’t leave me alone. I’m so sorry...”
As she pulled back, he recognized Amane. Her uninjured eye was filled with tears. Was she upset? He thought he’d been making her happy. He wanted to keep making her happy. He’d never made anyone happy before.
He opened his mouth to say something, but no words would come out. They all scrambled up in his mouth. He felt the cell swirling around him.
Amane raised her voice. She looked desperately upwards. “This can’t be --! This isn’t right!”
Fuuta looked up at the ceiling. There was nothing there.
“I can’t do this anymore.”
She continued talking. Fuuta was too busy studying the ceiling. She was shouting. Or maybe crying. Fuuta didn’t like that she was so upset. Huh, had there been someone there? He surveyed the empty cell. What was he doing on the ground?
He looked down at his hand. The sheet from his bed had been pulled down and wrapped hastily around it. Why? His eyes felt sticky as he blinked. Everything hurt. It was so hot. What was going on? He was so angry. He was so scared. He wanted to cry. Why was he here? Why couldn’t he just hurry up and die already?
The next time she entered, Fuuta recognized Amane instantly. Her one hand pointed to him, the other held onto someone else. The second figure hurried over to him.
Fuuta was not a big fan of dying. Shidou reassured him he wouldn’t.
—
“You’re wearing the eyepatch,” Fuuta observed.
He was playing a dangerous game, drawing attention to it like that. He was too exhausted, and his curiosity won out over his better judgment. If Amane was going to explode with one of her typical speeches, he’d just let her.
She didn’t.
Amane’s hand drifted up to her eye. It had been hastily covered before, but now it was cleaned and wrapped in professional-grade materials. She simply said, “Kajiyama Fuuta. How do you feel?”
“Like shit.”
“But--”
“-- But I’m better, yeah.”
Amane nodded, her shoulders releasing.
“Oi, I haven’t seen you in a while. Not since…” He wasn’t sure how to finish the sentence. Shidou had told him what happened, but it was difficult to believe. He couldn’t quite trust his own memory of the night. No matter how much clearer his mind felt since receiving proper treatment, those days of fever still muddled together. He heard that Amane had up and switched her beliefs overnight -- she was now complacent about all of Shidou's treatments -- but Fuuta knew people didn't just change like that. He wanted to hear it for himself.
She lowered her gaze in shame. “I… I thought you hated me.” Her voice was steady. “As you should. I almost killed you. I accept any ill will you may feel.”
“I -- what? You’re wrong. You… it wasn’t…” He grabbed his head, grunting in frustration.
After standing awkwardly in the entryway the whole time, Amane took a few steps inside. She made it to his bedside when he finally collected his thoughts.
“It was your fucked up family or whatever that caused everything. They did this. And I went along and made things worse.” He looked away. His next words felt stupid to say to a little kid. He felt like the most pathetic, weak, loser. But it was too important not to say.
“They almost killed me. You saved me.”
#milgram#fuuta kajiyama#amane momose#i am emotional about them!!!#my other drabble between them hinted that fuuta would convince her away from her dangerous beliefs before things got too bad#but i wanted to see what would happen if things Did get bad ya know#we were talking about what could convince amane to think twice about the medicine ban (if anything)#and i think seeing her closest friend is literally on deaths door finally gets through to her#shes sees him weak and bloody and completely out of it and knows this is Wrong#i dont know how long it takes fuuta to realize that it really was all for him that she changed but he does accept it eventually#it helps both of them grow#he feels worth saving (and therefore worth turning his life around) and she is freer from her cult#not completely#but one step at a time#tried to make fuutas narration simpler and shorter to reflect his thoughts but idk if that worked#i thought they were going to do a lot of stuff with mahirus head injury and memory but they never did- i played around with that a bit here#i thought about writing out amanes monologue to her god about how shes not doing this anymore but 1. its more dramatic to leave that to#the imagination and 2. idk if its silly but some things are so personal for a character and i dont wanna intrude... like yeah its my#story but thats between her and god fr#drabbles#tw cults#tw child abuse
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