#i needed this FR. theres just too much going on rn
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Playing chess with Dottore in the akademiya days and NEVER winning because….hes a genius ! And he didn’t understand the concept of letting others win to make them feel good.
He still thinks the concept is silly, if anything he’s helping you by continuing to challenge your mind…but when he sees fragile reader super down about their mental state…he finally understands what letting someone else win means.
Of course reader knows he let them win. They couldn’t beat him in the akademiya when they were sick, they can’t now . But it’s the thought that counts 🩵
Dottore was never one to be thrilled about wasting time with silly games, even when it came to ones that tested the mind such as chess. It held more appeal when he was a boy, still learning the rules and playing against himself (and perhaps the Aranara). Now he can just win against practically anyone nearly effortlessly so it doesn't hold much of a brain tease for him. Even when you come along... you're still getting obliterated.
No special privileges, unfortunately... not even his darling lover. It got to the point where you nearly set off the dorm's smoke alarm as you were too engrossed in deciding your next move while Zandik was absorbed in his book (literally investing a couple of percent of his energy into this, some more at stealing glances at your pretty, focused face, idly wondering if he should start charging for you these silly games.) He would always think you're overreacting if you get pouty about not winning once, after all, it was merely a game. And he was being rather generous indulging you... he went as far as to give you tips and hints! Helping you evolve your play!
Still, with time comes maturity and understanding, and his current self is a stark difference from his past one. Dottore's not dumb, and as distant from his humanity as he seems to be, seeing you down troubles him to say the least. He doesn't show it on his face, but his mind constantly runs through a checklist for possible things to cheer you up on bad days.
And with that... the Doctor learns. Technically he is always seeking knowledge to further his experiments, but... learning for the sake of someone else is different. It's tender. It's strange. It's not really him. But he still learns, he remembers, and he acts. If letting you win and have your way manages to cheer you up, then why would he deny it? His loss would be something forgotten by him soon enough. For you, you'd remember that win and happy feeling forever. He's analyzed his choices - it's worth it. (A bunch of scholarly talk just to boil down to he loves you and wishes to see you well.)
To give him some credit, he'd make his loss as convincing as a man like him could anyway. Making you think and work for it so you feel better about winning. You still wouldn't fall for it but you appreciate Dottore putting in the effort to make you feel good about yourself. The beautiful lie of his feigned surprise and praise makes you know that despite his flaws, deep down he'll always make sure you'll be okay, maybe not today, but one day.
#smooches talks#dottore love notes <3#fragile reader <3#THIS IS SO CUTE I EXPLODED... I LOVE HIM SM.. so real for this anon. 100/10#i needed this FR. theres just too much going on rn#i was giggling bc i once wrote something the opposite of this (doter cant beat fragile reader in chess) <3#this is more realistic for me bc idk how to play chess still but he can teach me <33#actually this reminded me of when id play imessage/game pigeon chess with my friend and she'd destroy me everytime bc i didnt know what was#going on
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Love the feeling of going back to a draft after a legit year and laughing out loud at shenanigans you forgot writing.
#rose and rambles#prosie's writing adventures#so i have a fairy tale series in the works and bonus points to whoever remembers this but#i did write book 2 once i finished book 1#i just haven't touched it literally since writing the first draft and its been a year almost exactly#i finished it last august/september#and i went back to it to give a reread because ive known there were things i was going to fix so im getting prepared to do that#and the thing about the fairy tale series is i want each book to follow different protagonists and there's an overlapping narrative#that drags everyone together in the last book#and my antagonist from the first book makes an appearance near the end of the second book#because of background machinations#his name is robin and hes such a little jerk fr fr#but it was so funny because i forgot exactly what happens with him#and he ends up getting chased away by an arctic fox and theres a scream and were meant to assume he was frozen#and im like beautiful. love he gets frozen before the day is saved#poetic justice. BUT THEN AFTER THE THREAT IS NULLIFIED THE LITTLE BRAT POPS OUT LIKE 'NEVER FEAR I HAVE THE SOLUTION' COMPLETELY OKAY#I FORGOT THAT AND JUST STARTED LAUGHING#anyway the fear exists that this story is too self indulgent and it does need work still#but it got me to really laugh so you know what? that's enough rn#I love robin so much#hes meant to be the most pathetic antagonist but his ego is off the charts#and he's only fueled by petty revenge against a protag in the first book so he gets roped into a grander scheme by the main antagonist#he's just a delight#not to hang out with but to write and hopefully to read XD
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stream of consciousness type deal.
#people's experiences of you will be so drastically different from what you're like when relaxing/unmasking at home and they'll be shocked#when you live together and you thought you let them see what you were like normally except most of the time theyve seen you at home its an#Occassion™ so ofc im gonna be alert and jumping around and talkative bc theres a lot happening and im really happy theyre there#and i can be still. but once they see me day after day exhausted and overstimulated its different bc i am different#i dont feel like i am but i am#and if they dont believe when you explain whats happening then shit hits the fan#for a while i did not understand why they were getting so mad at me at dinner#the other people there understand how i can be foggy or overstimulated and just need to eat and im happy to be there i just need to not look#at anyone or say much and im dizzy from working all day. i need to mash for a bit all ill be good. theyve been generous to take me as honest#when i tell them what im doing.#but a person who is not used to seeing me that way will start thinking im rolling my eyes at whats being said when im actually staring into#space or trying to refocus or trying to get my body to stay in itself instead of drifting off and they think im quietly judging and ik like#im so sorry but fr im not even listening to the group conversation and im not thinking anything negative about you im just gathering my body#i SWEAR. also its agreed that i take part in a group meal instead of isolating with my food bc i need to eat right now too#now that ive stopped working and im going to go back to working after this meal so. this is what i have to do. it is understood and you're#somewhat new to being here on a daily basis but I'm serious i just have to do this and im not being shady im just Something™#(aka exhausted/overstimulated/neurodivergent.) but when i get up with the gathered dishes without making eye contact im automatically angry#and im judgemental and manipulative and trying to control everyone's mood by making my problems everyone's problems with my sighing and eye#rolling. im like. again im not rolling my eyes im trying to focus my eyes. and im not sighing at whats being said im letting out the breath#i realized ive been holding bc im holding myself back from an anxiety rollercoaster drop bc im very overstimulated rn and i was asked to be#here to share meals and deal with it in front of everyone and you arent understanding that id be doing the same thing in private#nothing's WRONG im just OVERSTIMULATED RN and im pulling my body back and im not thinking anything about ANYONE in this room but im starting#to NOW bc you keep assigning meaning where ive told you repeatedly theres none and i get why you're interpreting it this way but i promise#thats not what im doing and your reasons for why im doing it are not accurate.
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HEARTBREAK SYNDROME.
episode five :: 99 PROBLEMS.
꒰꒰◌‧₊ ⬪˙⋆ pairing ︴max verstappen x ex!y/n
꒰꒰◌‧₊ ⬪˙⋆ genre ︴social media au / irl snippets
꒰꒰◌‧₊ ⬪˙⋆ summary ﹔comeback: download has started.
fc – wonyoung jang (28)
꒰꒰◌‧₊ ⬪˙⋆ warnings ﹕none.
☆ IMESSAGE with ; BOARD OF DIRECTORS.
y/n: not to freak you guys out but i knew all along
my baby lando: FYM YOU KNEW ???
babygirl alex: y/n 😁 i swear to god
honey badger: wait
honey badger: what do you mean you knew
chili!: ????
chal eclair: ^^^^
girlfriend kika: babe
girlfriend kika: i need u to explain before pierre loses his shit bc he’s bubbling rn 🙏🏻🤍
y/n: okay hold on y’all listen
wifey lily: 👂🏻👂🏻👂🏻👂🏻
y/n: i always had this sneaking suspicion that some bullshit was going but every time i’d ask him about nothing would come of it
y/n: so i was like maybe i’m the problem 😀
y/n: then i found lipstick in our bathroom and i was like yo ??? tf is this and max said it was his sister’s
y/n: so i was like oh calm
y/n: bc victoria would come over sometimes
y/n: then i found out he cheated the first time
princess george: fIRST TIME????
angel carmen: WHAT DO YOU MEAN FIRST TIME
chili!: HE CHEATED MORE THAN ONCE???
chal eclair: hOLD ON YALL IM TRYNA UNDERSTAND
y/n: yes 😭
y/n: caught him on a call with her being all lovey and shit and we got in a fight bc of it
y/n: and i let it slide bc i thought he would learn + he cried his eyes out
alabono: how is HE gonna cry for cheating 😟
honey badger: WAIT
my baby lando: fuck was he crying for ???
chal eclair: he cried ??
babygirl alex: literally what
honey badger: WAIT YALL
honey badger: Y/N YOU LET THAT SLIDE ???
y/n: I USED TO LOVE HIM OKAY.
chili!: i just sighed so hard man
y/n: hold on there’s more
PIERRE GASLYYYY: MORE ??
PIERRE GASLYYYY: y/n…
my baby lando: bae what is this…
chal eclair: what else did he do then damn
y/n: the bitch was in my bed
babygirl alex: WOAHHHHHHHH
angel carmen: now hold on, hOLD ON NOW.
girlfriend kika: i screamed
honey badger: ouuuuu it’s gonna get violent rq
y/n: i found them cuddled up, clearly post fuck, in my bed, listening to my music and guess what
chili!: BRO 😭
chal eclair: WHAT OH MY GOD
my baby lando: ¿¿¿
y/n: HER KID WALKS IN BEHIND ME EATING MYYYYYYY ICE CREAM
y/n: IN MYYYYY HOUSE
princess george: see this is where i personally would’ve swung at everyone
PIERRE GASLYYYY: LISTENING TO YOUR MUSIC???????
wifey lily: NAHHHHHH MAN
angel carmen: i’m not even kidding
angel carmen: i’m deadass speechless
y/n: i need all of u to come to my house immediately
y/n: there’s so much more i need to tell y’all
chili!: Y/N.
chili!: WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERES MORE.
y/n: ….
chal eclair: answer the question bae 🤍
y/n: well
my baby lando: oh my god
y/n
♡ liked by lilymhe, landonorris, and 11,340,293 more.
y/n i could see right through it
1,302,293 comments.
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➜ username SOOO REAL
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carlossainz55 niña bonita ❤️
alexandrasaintmleux 😍😍😍😍
landonorris my mother everyone.
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carmenmmundt sexy.
➜ georgerussell63 oh swear?
lilymhe oh.
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➜ lilymhe no babe look away
francisca.cgomes i moaned ngl
➜ pierregasly HELLO ¿¿
➜ username kika is honestly the realest
➜ username no bc you and me kika 🤞🏽
➜ pierregasly you’re MY gf ???
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➜ y/n can confirm 😁
➜ pierregasly ????????????????
y/n added to their story!
#f1#f1 fanfiction#f1 smau#f1 x reader#f1 x y/n#f1 x you#carlos sainz x reader#charles leclerc x reader#lando norris x reader#pierre gasly x reader#lewis hamilton x reader#daniel ricciardo x reader#george russell x reader#max verstappen x reader
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hi boo, as promised, my dodge mason thoughts :))) i was cooking up a storm lol (its very long, apologies)
dodge mason… the cowboy that you are. i need this man more than anything. something about that man just makes me wanna be a sweet innocent christian country girl lol. this is much more cheesy and cutesy than my previous submissions, he just makes my knees weak fr (but also i need him desperately)
im attaching this (hopefully it works) cuz its exactly how i picture him here
alright, picture me this, youve just moved with your dad to this nowhere town in texas. you know no one here, theres nothing to do, youve already graduated high school before the move. its just summer, in a strange place, full of strange people.
maybe youre kind of a farmers daughter type? youve moved onto a ranch, your dad is really into rodeos and he gets you your very own horse. but hell if you know how to ride a horse that big. youd only ever ridden ponies when you were little. its sweet of your dad though, at least now you have a friend to pass the time with.
on one particularly hot day your dad decides that you should go into town a grab a cool drink and enjoy some shade. you settle on the cute looking diner, very fitting for a town like this. if you happen to notice the cute boy behind the counter you dont say anything about it. just steal a couple glances at him, maybe blush a little pink when ordering your shirley temple with an extra cherry. (tihi)
if he notices how pretty your flowy little sundress hugs your waist or sits on top of your thighs while sitting in the booth, he doesnt say anything either. he simply makes a mental note to find out your name, he's sure youre new, he wouldve remembered you if youd gone to the school senior year.
some time later he meets your dad at one of his rodeos (competitions? idk, i am not a country girl yall). spots him in the crowd, sees his opportunity to find out your name. they get to chatting, your dads all too happy to talk about you, his pride and joy. he happens to mention that youre wanting to learn to ride your new horse. dodge happens to offer his assistance. how can he resist an opportunity like that? theres truly nothing he would love more than teach you how to ride... a horse, of course :)))
when your dad had told you hed found a cowboy to teach you how to ride, you had expected another one of your dads friends. already made peace with the fact that it would be slightly awkward but ultimately worth it. but then he shows up, the boy from the diner. a cowboy, huh? definitely not what you were expecting. but hes wearing the boots and the hat, he certainly looks the part. hopefully he can play it too. (also i need him to call me darling and tip his hat, i need to have it)
you try your best to get to know him while he's teaching you, but he's not big on answering questions, instead redirecting them back to you. he does laugh, a beautiful, intoxicating sound, when you make a joke about his name being very fitting. dodging all your questions. (legit giggling to myself rn) he tries to tell you about the town, but he doesnt know much more than you, except this weird game he's heard people are playing over the summer...
he asks a surprising amount of questions about your life, you had pegged him as the quiet, stoic type when you first saw him at the diner. but this charming cowboy whos teaching you how to bond with your horse - because apparently its important for her to trust you before you start riding her - is a totally different story. when you invite him in for some fresh lemonade, hes chatting away with your dad about rodeos and all the places nearby he needs to visit. it wasnt at all what you had expected from him.
he starts spending a lot of time around the farm, teaching you to ride your horse, your dad inviting him to come for dinner, or really any excuse he can find to drop by. hes totally enamoured with you, he even feels a little guilty about it. youre so innocent and pure-hearted, he really has no business flirting with you the way he is. hes sure you cant even tell most of the time, that same sweet smile on your lips every time he speaks. totally unaware of the way his gaze lingers, eyes wandering, glued to your ass when youre wearing those damned blue jeans.
it takes you a long time to learn how to ride your horse, but eventually you get good at it. the day you finally succeed at riding around the farm without his help, you both dread that it might be the last time he comes by. but the next time he shows up on a horse of his own. tells you that he wants to show you more of the area, he takes you around, you talk for hours. simply just enjoying each others company.
the time after that you're already waiting for him outside, that morning you had gotten up earlier than usual, just to spend extra time picking your outfit, styling your hair, blushing your cheeks. this continues for a while. your dad starts to notice, youre acting like a little schoolgirl around him. dodge can tell, hes basking in it, he loves it. his compliments become more frequent and more intentional.
eventually your dad insists on bringing you to one of the rodeos, youre hesitant, youd rather not end up trapped in a long conversation with one of his old friends. but when you realize that dodge will be there, competing, you immediately agree to go. youve never seen him in his element like that. you make sure to wear his favorite dress of yours and style your hair just the way he compliments it the most.
its not like youre together, but you want him to know that youre there for him. to see him. and oh he knows. the second he sees you, he knows. ugh he can barely contain himself. youre standing right there, dressed up just for him, watching him in awe as he hang on tight to the rowdy horse.
need him to come out all sweaty and running high on adrenaline. picking you up and spinning you around, his pretty little thing, all dressed up for him, special for him. i need him to be so caught up in the moment that he put his hat on your head, kissing your cheek. luckily your dad had left with some buddies, because everyone at the rodeo knows what it means to wear a cowboys hat, everyone but you. you dont realize that hes staking his claim on you, making it clear to anyone who looks at you that you're his. not that you would have minded that part if youd known.
i need someone to make comment/joke about the cowboy hat rule, and dodge teaching you to ride, to which you enthusiastically, but oh so very cluelessly, mention that yes, hes been trying teaching you for a while now. but that youre only just starting to it right, something about it all being in the hips. i need you to look up at him confused when he just drags you away, mumbling something about that guy being an ass and promising to explain later...
what the fuck do yall know about my man dodge mason. my man my man my man. i havent stopped thinking about him since that fancam... i need to be the innocent farmers daughter who gets corrupted by the handsome mysterious cowboy, such a clique, but i need it anyway!!!!!
-🐞
NEEDHIMNEEDHIMNEEDHIM
This is soooo so sweet too like :(( he’s literally the only thing that makes Carp bearable :((
Just thinking about like having your first kiss with him like maybe a cute little picnic you set up in a little clearing hidden away from prying eyes 🥺
It’s all innocent and sweet— you made little sandwiches, and cut up fruits, and made him a pie. Little glass bottles of lemonade. It’s all so sweet, like you’d copied it off of an old movie.
And you’re talking his ear off and he’s so fine with that— he’s more of a listener anyway. Besides, you look so pretty with your hair in braids, a little sundress, glowing from the sheen of sweat on your skin.
He interrupts you mid sentence with a kiss, nearly knocking his teeth into yours. Your eyes stay wide for a moment, but you melt into him like butter. Its so chaste and sweet, but you end up on his lap and his tongue is in your mouth and his hands are palming your ass 🥰
#needthat
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how to make a golden retriever happy.
SLIGHTLY proofread | f!reader | poly relationship with nick & charlie though reader isn’t dating charlie | pretty damn long i got ahead of myself, sorry :,) | they’re so cute but im so bad at details fr | lunch date, walks, stargazing w fireflies & movie night! (you got headbands to wear… guess what movie charlie is having y’all watch rn) | what is stargazing | author questioning what color sonic’s eyes are | theres some crying at the end and a mention of breaking up but its just those negative thoughts actin up, theyre all okay :) | angst/comfort? | not many kisses unfortunately but THERE ARE SOME, like three scenes… two? | there is cussing, not much | nick & reader flashbacks
#%a/n%#;; first request done! thanks for it, they mean so much to me. i didn’t wanna make it too long but here we are lolol, hope it’s enjoyable though 🥹💜 also ntm on your family details but your mom does appear and she has a “set” personality! no one else appears though so you can imagine the reader’s family how you want, though it is mentioned your mom is married. also note, since reader is a lady she goes to the same school as like, elle darcy tara (and probably imogen too, right?). meant to post this yesterday but i wanted to add some stuff at the end haha, sorry sorry this is a whole ass wattpad book fr, feel like i wrote so much and nothing at the same time. hope you enjoy if you give it a read thought fhdhdj
OH YEAH last thing, the emotions in this story is kind of a whiplash 💀 one minute they’re happy the next theyre kinda sad or bittersweet so- hopefully the pacing doesnt seem bad… BE WARNED. shouldn’t be too crazy. okay thats it this time do enjoy
character(s):
nick & charlie (heartstopper)
elle & tao cameo
reader’s mom omg she’s a sweetheart, charlie’s parents are mentioned/super small cameo, nick’s mom also has a small cameo/is mentioned
darcy, imogen and sahar are very briefly mentioned!
The sweet sound of the school bell rings throughout and the school and every single student sighs in relief of the noise. You glance up at the clock on the wall before looking around the classroom where students are packing up their bags while talking noisily to one another.
You allow yourself to recline in your chair, left arm reaching back to where your backpack dangles off the seat and slide your hands into the side pocket, grabbing your phone.
Nicky Ricky Dicky: I’m alive!
Char: you live! i live too :) wanna walk together today or are you both busy? (gonna pick you up bestie)
Y/N: i’ll meet you outside (ty loveliest)
Char: awesome!!! nick?
Nicky Ricky Dicky: Sorry aha, I need to go home quickly today but I’ll be sure to join tomorrow!
This makes you pout and you can imagine your bestfriend having the same expression because the sad emoji he wrote in the group-chat even makes you sadder.
Char: ☹️
Y/N: don’f worry charlie
Y/N: Don’t*
Nicky Ricky Dicky: Sorry :,)
Char: It’s fine! Do what you have to do… we gonna facetime tonight though?
Char hearts your message ‘don’f worry charlie’.
Nicky Ricky Dicky: No promises but I’ll do my best. 😠❤️
Nicky Ricky Dicky: i gtg now, love you both <3
Y/N: lym! ❤️
Char: love you! ❤️❤️❤️
Y/N: three hearts 🥹
Char: y/n. STOP. come outside before i die
Y/N: omg… such a drama king like okay
You write and yet, you’re quick to jump from your chair and snatch your bag before sliding it on your shoulder. You push in your chair and skip out into the hallways where you see Elle. “Heya, Elle!”
She smiles warmly and waves goodbye to her friends before stepping in sync with you. “Hey there, Miss, didn’t catch your name.” You bump her shoulder and she bumps you back. “What’re you up to?”
“Charlie’s gonna come pick me up, hopefully via bike… mines broke the other day.” You sigh and she gives you a look of pity while trying to bite back a grin. Then she perks up.
“Not Nick?”
You shake your head, rubbing a hand against your temple. “Mm-mm, you ever just get a feeling something is off?”
Elle nods, turning her face away from you and her hands grip onto the handle of her bag that bounces against her legs. “Yeah, just putting it out there… graduation may be on his mind, I know its on mine and it’s been kicking my ass to be honest,” You wrap an arm around her in comfort and she hums in appreciation. “Just all that weird stuff, weird thoughts and anxiety…” Then she pauses, raising a hand and flicking her wrist. “Okay- not weird, but you know.”
That makes you snort, “Yeah, I get’cha… maybe, but we’ve always been open about that kind of stuff, I just don’t understand why it’d be a issue… I mean, we’ve talked about it many times before so it’s kind of odd, I guess?” You and Elle share a look of confusion before shrugging.
“Maybe it’s been having more of an impact y’know? You can speak easily about something when you’re not there yet but… graduation is coming up and everyone is worried about the future. You know how things don’t hit you till it’s happening literally next week or something? Maybe its hitting harder.”
Your heart clenches in pain at those words. She’s not wrong, there is a high chance it’s staring to affect him more… hitting harder than you’d know. You nibble on your bottom lip in concern and furrow your eyebrows,
“Well. If he’s being an idiot and isn’t gonna come to us about it then I’ll beat him up.” You place your hands on your hips, lightly joking to disperse the tense air between the two of you. Of course he isn’t being an idiot but you refuse to let him stress on his own. Elle chokes out a laugh in surprise.
“Oh god, he better run, she’s scary when she’s angry.” One of her hands let go of her bag and she hold her stomach while laughing a bit more. “Wouldn’t that be a sight?”
You scoff, “Like we haven’t argued before.”
“You argue about literal video games.”
“Stop.” You laugh and push at her shoulder. “Oh, and Elle, you know I’m your friend and if you ever need an ear to lend about college talk or need help to get your mind off of it to just relax, you got me.” She stares at you for a few beats before cracking into a grin.
“Thank you, Y/N. You know you got me too.”
Outside the school building you’re quick to spot two familiar figures by the gate. “Yes, he’s here!” Your arms raise in celebration then instantly flop down, “There’s no bike…!”
Elle calls out which makes the two boys stiff in seconds.
“Get your butts over here, Mr. Xu and Mr. Spring!” They awkwardly crane their necks to your direction and simultaneously sigh in relief – probably thinking you were teachers.
“You nearly gave me a heart attack!” Tao exclaims as you and Elle once you’re right infront of the two, gesturing to his heart. Elle is quick to place a hand over his chest – Tao’s cheeks lowkey reddening but you decide not to point it out for his sake – and her eyes widen a bit.
“Tao, your chest is gonna shoot out your chest.”
“See?”
“That is the goal, sire.” You finger gun at him and he smacks your hand away lightly with an exasperated look. It makes you giggle. “Elle is just feeling a little silly today.”
“It’s my agenda.” She grins before engulfing Charlie into a hug and he squeaks in surprise before squeezing her back. “Hello, Charlie!”
“Are you sure your heart isn’t pounding because you’ve gotten your daily dose of Elle?” You whisper while stepping in line next to Tao, facing your head to your other friends but you can see him tense at the corner of your eye.
He pinches his nose bridge, mumbling and you catch some of the words, suspiciously sounding like him saying he’s gonna fight you. His cheeks bloom a rosy rose so you take the win either way and smugly smirk at him.
“Hi, Elle!” His muffled laugh catches your attention, making you and Tao smile at the interaction before you wrap an arm around the latter, making him eyeroll, of course he does, but he wraps an arm around your shoulder and gives you a light squeeze in response.
“We best be off on our merry way,” You speak up, checking the time as the two friends let go of eachother. “I wanna stop by that new shop that opened a few weeks ago… Is that fine, Char?”
He gives you a thumbs up and Elle speaks, “Let me know how their desserts taste, I’ve been wondering but honestly they don’t look that good so…” She stares at you with a grimace before shrugging.
“Noted~” You say in a singsong voice before wrapping your arms around Charlie. “I’ll call you later, enjoy your afternoon date.” You and Charlie give the couple teasing grins and they take the bait, looking away in shyness but Tao takes the initiative and connects their hands together. It makes you melt.
“Shut up.” He groans, snapping but tone very much unthreatening adding on the fact he’s trying to cover his flustered face with his free hand.
“Yes, yes grumpy old man, we’ll see you later.” You and Charlie waist no time to start down the road with waves.
“Bye!” He shouts.
“I’m not a grumpy old man!” Tao stomps his foot, comedically. Right. How could you make that mistake?
“Bye, Y/N and Charlie!” Elle laughs with a wave and tugs her totally-not-grumpy boyfriend off in the other direction. You watch their hands tighten around eachother, squinting in amusement when Tao’s scowl instantly softens into a lovestruck gaze.
“Ahhh, young love.”
“You’re starting to sound like the old one here.” Charlie snickers, hands coming up to hold onto your forearms that are still bounded around him.
“You wound me, Char.” You squeeze him and he huffs. “I literally think the same when you and Nick are interacting, it’s so,” You make weird noises, fingers wiggling. “Y’know? Very sweet. Very cute, I even have some photos of you latching onto eachother while sleeping. Wanna see-?”
His brain feels like it’s shutting down, lightly smacking your arm when you lift it as to grab your phone. “Stop it.” You could practically see those animated stars swirling around his head and laugh.
You relent and unwrap your arms with a cheeky smile. He glances at you before hiding his face in his hands. “Ughh, whatever. You act like you don’t jump Nick the minute you see him.” Yeah, that’s crazy. You feel your own cheeks flaring up.
“You must be blind.”
“No, no, no. Don’t do that.”
“Do what?”
“Lie!” He exclaims in a joking tone, uncovering his face and poking you in accusation. You lean away, losing your balance and forcing yourself to lean on your tippy toe. Your other foot comes down onto pavement with a stomp and you twirl like you’re dancing. Charlie definitely notices this misstep, doesn’t say anything but you see his shoulders shaking in silence. He’s laughing.
“I never lie?” You pick off the conversation.
“Was that a question?” He tilts his head back at you.
“No?”
He stares at you, eyebrow twitching and you puff out your cheeks like a frog, looking anywhere but in his direction. “You’re awfully cheeky today.”
“How am I being cheeky?” He gives you a look like you’re being ridiculous.
“Charlie Spring is a little cheeky today, my oh my, what have I done to deserve this.” Then you raise your voice in a slight yell, “Ahhh! Who is this?! This isn’t my Charlieeee…!” Your arms reach for the sky.
“You’re an idiot.” He takes the chance and poke you again which makes you yelp. You narrow your eyes. He runs off, you chase.
That was last week. You haven’t seen your boyfriend in a couple of days and it’s concerning. He responds hours late to your messages, doesn’t even respond in your group chat with Charlie, his calls barely last ten minutes and you literally haven’t seen this man in person. Charlie tells you he still shows up at school but his eye-bags are pretty bad.
“Is he avoiding me? I’m confused.” You frown, balled up on Charlie’s bed and feeling very mixed. A little annoyed, a little sad, and alot of worried. Charlie sets down two mugs on his bedside table and sits next to you on the bed. His rests a hand atop of your head and lightly taps it.
“No… I don’t think so. I see him at school and he tries to act normal but even he doesn’t respond to me like that outside of school.” The scowl his face makes has deepened and you’re quick to wrap an arm around his leg in comfort. He lets out a weak smile but it’s quick to fall off his face. “I’m confused too…”
You both stay silent, it’s nearly deafening. “I don’t wanna force him to tell us anything – I mean, he knows he can come to us if he needs it but if he’s really stressed about school maybe we can help give him some space to not think about it. Even if its only for a bit, you know?” Charlie listens to you mumble while tugging at a loose thread on his sweater and nods slowly, eyes lost in thought.
“Should we go somewhere?” He tilts his head back to look at the ceiling before his gaze travels around his room’s walls, hoping to find an inkling of inspection.
“That sounds fine.” The somber feeling in the room lifts a bit when you start to grin. You shift onto your back, raising your right arm in the air and sprawl out your fingers. “We could go out, do something and eat… I kinda wanna stargaze, is that weird?”
He lets out a chuckle, glancing down at you with a teasing glint in his eyes, “Wow, you’re such a romantic, Y/N. I’m shocked.” To which you scoff.
“Well, duh. Who makes all the date plans?”
“Okay, no, that’s because you say we’re bad at planning dates – you refuse us to even be involved.”
“Charlie, Nick brought you to a dog park as a date.”
“What’s wrong with that?”
“You both stayed there till nine.”
He full on laughs now, bumping you with his knee and you smack it back in retort. “No judgement though, I would do the same but that was for the whole day! Who stays at a dog park from Eleven to Nine?” He continues to laugh until they turn into giggles.
“Maybe… we’re unique.”
“True that. You didn’t even bring baby Nells, shaking my head.” To put emphasis, you shake your head and your friend has to gasp out for air. “Don’t die, now.”
“Whatever whatever.” He brings his hands to his face and rubs his cheeks in circular motion to calm himself. His face is flushed and he exhales slowly before reaching for his phone. “Do you want your drink?”
You remove your arm from his leg and sit up properly, holding on your hands and he complies, placing the mug between them. “Thank you~” You lean on the wall, flopping your legs onto Charlie’s before crossing them at the ankles – to which he sighs in annoyance and it makes you grin. “What’re you doing?”
“I’m gonna search for places to go that is nearby but not too close… you have a place in mind for stargazing?” He grabs his own mug that is black and littered with yellow stars, how ironic. You nod sleepily, slowly sipping your preferred drink and tap at the cup absentmindedly.
“Yeah, it’s near my house.”
He flicks his eyes towards you for a second.
Then goes back to typing on his phone.
“You mean it is your home.”
“Maybe.”
You smirk, he sighs and you both go back to planning. Nick honestly better be willing to get his ass dragged out of the house by his lovely girlfriend and boyfriend because money is involved and you both would be damned if he just wallows in self despair, alone.
So, that’s what happens, you fill Charlie’s parents in on needing to steal your bestfriend during the weekend and some of the plans involved like a movie night. They agreed to let him stay over for the night but he must call every few hours or atleast text.
Your parents love the boys and were completely down with the idea. Of course you also secretly called Nick’s mum and she had filled you in on a couple things that made you a tad bit more nervous to see your boyfriend.
Seems like your assumption was correct (more like Elle’s). “Lately he’s been talking about colleges, right… he’s planning to go on a trip sometime this month to check them out but he seems stressed, it’s been worrying me. You know though, kids probably don’t want their parents all in their business, haha,” She laughs softly and you can hear running water cut off on her end – probably washing something – “He knows he can come to me so I’m just letting him have his space. It’s lovely you and Charlie want to ease his mind! Glad he’s with and friends with two sweethearts,” This makes your face flare up in embarrassment but your chest puffs with pride.
“Of course, and I know he appreciates you being patient and understanding with him. The thing we don’t wanna do is pressure him… I just hope this can help take his mind off of the stress and you know… relax?” You grimace a bit, tugging at the end of your sleeve as the phone sits between your ear and shoulder.
“I get it, mhm. Thank you, Y/N.” Her voice is still soft but gets even more sincere with a hint of emotion. Had you feeling emotional too.
Saturday is quick to arrive and you stare at your reflection with determination. Brushing down your outfit, you admire your date look a bit more before turning around slowly and snatch your bag off the bed which is filled with random necessities that you may or may not need along with your wallet.
“Alright, Nick Nelson, prepare yourself for the best date you’ll ever be on.” You puff out your cheeks, grab you phone of the charger and exit your room. “I’ll be off, Mother~” You hum once you reach the end of the staircase and spot your Mom on the couch with a paper in hand.
“What is with the formal address?” She chuckles behind her hand, standing up and following you towards the front door. “I’ll see you later tonight with Nick and Charlie, right? Enjoy yourselves.” She smiles, wrapping her arms around your head and you hug her back with a gentle squeeze.
“Oh! Wait.”
She quickly unravels herself from you and speeds down the hall to the kitchen. Your eyes stare down the direction she went for a few seconds before deciding to slip on your shoes.
“Okay, here you go.” You’re standing with the door open by the time she comes back and she gives you a picnic basket. It’s not super big but you have to grab it with two hands. Less from the size, more from the weight.
“Mom. What did you pack in here?” You huff out a laugh, going to open the lid but she stops you.
“No, do not open it. It’s like… a wedding. You can’t see your spouse or it’ll be bad luck!” She speaks with a finger raised and you cock an eyebrow up. Whatever you say, Mom is basically your expression and she seems to notice because she places her hands on her hips with an exasperated look. “Just trust me, I’ve done it before and it was bad luck all day.”
“Mhm, mhm, right.” You nod, half listening and backing up on your porch. She follows, hand on the doorknob with a soft smile and she pinches your cheek with her other hand. “Thanks, I love you.”
“Love you too, honey.” She full on grins now and waves. After your ‘see you later’ promises, you’re quick to dart down the street and across the roads to a nearby park where Charlie said he’d meet you after picking up Nick. It gives you enough time to unload the nice lunch packed for the three of you and hopefully buy some refreshing popsicles or ice creams before they arrive.
Seems like luck is on your side though – maybe your Mom was right – because the minute you finish laying out the huge blanket in a nice shaded area you hear the sound of someone ringing a familiar bell sound. You turn your head so quick it nearly gave you whiplash and your eyes widen at the person walking along the park’s path, pushing a white squared cart decorated with photos of different types of cold treats.
You take your bag and phone, dialing Charlie’s number while speedwalking across the grassy field. It takes two rings before you hear his voice.
“Yes, partner in crime?” His voice comes off as staticky for a moment.
“What the hell are you doin’, your mic is scuffed as hell…”
“I’m walking!” You could imagine the eyeroll Charlie would do and bite your cheek to not laugh.
“Are you with Nick?” You continue to talk but smile in greeting when the ice cream seller stops at you coming over. He says hello and you wave before looking over all the choices on the cart.
“Yes. We’re grabbing drinks right now, you okay?”
“Yeah! I’m at the park, set up the picnic – though the food is still in the basket,” You glance back at your spot and after making sure nothing seems out of the ordinary you look back at the cart. “You remember those ice cream cart things? You want something?”
It’s silent between the two of you as Charlie ponders, in the meantime you point to your desired choice and the guy nods with a smile, opening the ice cream cart before digging around in the pile of cold desserts until he finds the one you want.
“Do they-“ He cuts himself off with a chuckle and you perk up at his voice, “Do they um,” He snorts this time then sighs to calm himself, “The ones with the bubblegum eyes. I wanna try one.”
You laugh a little, thanking the ice cream man as he sets the packaged treat in your hand. “Do you want the sonic one or something?”
“Whatever you spot first or whichever is given. Oh wait- Nick-“ You zone out a bit as he speaks to the blond and point to the blue hedgehog. The ice cream man continues his search. “He said he wants the crybaby ice cream.”
“Oh god.” You sigh in adoration, tilting your head back to the clear blue sky. “Weren’t they, like, terrible the last time we tried them?”
This time you hear Nick’s cheerful voice and he scoffs, “Okay, no. That was because for some weird reason you and Darcy wanted to put warheads into the mix.”
“Thank you,” You say to the nice man, grabbing a ten and a five dollar bill as a tip out of your wallet with a smile. You then put all the treats into your bag along with the wallet, waving the man bye which he returns and goes on his merry way. Your focus goes back to the two boys. “Ah yes, I remember the part where your face went sooo red. Hilarious, I have videos I think.”
He groans in prospect and you hear muffled giggles erupt from Charlie. “Why do you do this to me?”
“What are you talking about?” You tease and he groans again.
Charlie then speaks up, sounding way closer to the phone. “Alright! We’ll see you in two-point-five seconds.” You hum in response and say your goodbyes before hanging up the phone.
You reach the blanket again, flopping on your tush and take the ice creams out, aligning them with precision on top of the picnic basket. Charlie doesn’t disappoint because not two minutes later you see two familiar figures walking down the park path, one of them pointing towards your general direction and ditching the path to the grass.
You could feel your heart pound from… nervousness or excitement? Maybe both and it makes you grin, waving at the two. They get closer and Charlie waves awkwardly with a hand that has a drink in it, to which you notice his other hand also had a drink… and one of Nick’s. The blond’s other hand is carrying headbands of some sort and a bag is hanging off his arm.
“Char told me to get these while we were in the grocery store.” Nick speaks first when they get to you, he lifts the hand with headbands. “I decided not to question it.” You raise your hands and he carefully sets the accessories in them. Ah. Barbie headbands.
“Charlie…” Your brows pinch in amusement but also bewilderment. “What have you decided?”
He chuckles mysteriously, lifting a foot off the ground to point at your hand. “Put those down and take your drink, please. My hands are freezing.”
“Oops.” You comply and take the cup. The two eventual settle down with Nick in the middle and you quietly take a nice sip of the beverages. “Thank you.”
The boys nod and you glance at Nick, noticing the shadows of bags under his eyes. It makes you frown for a second, “So, what am I doing here on this lovely day.” Before you could inquire, Nick speaks up first, eyes shutting in contentment and a pretty smile adoring his face.
You lean back on the palm of your hand, eyeing Charlie and he meets your gaze. “Can we not want to hang out with the one and only, Mr. Nick Nelson?” You speak with a teasing tone, leaning into his side. His smile goes wider and he opens his eyes to meet yours.
“You make me sound like some big shot.”
Your eyes narrow.
“Well it was hard to reach you… so…” His gaze falters along with his smile, nervously tapping the top of his cup. “Not to pressure you, you know that but Charlie and I will always be there to listen if you need it.” You poke his arm gently and you spot Charlie’s hand sliding into Nick’s.
“Yeah.” Charlie nods, squeezing their hands, “But if not, that’s fine too. Y/N and I wanted to just, relax with you. Spend some time together.”
That makes Nick let out a shaky laugh and a wobbly smile. “Thanks.” He pauses. “Really. It’s just been, crazy?” He nibbles at his bottom lip before sighing and flops on his back, leaving his cup between his crossed legs and dragging the two of you down with him – which makes you all share a laugh.
Charlie rests against his boyfriend’s chest – facing his direction and you flip onto your stomach to play with both of their soft locks. “What has?” You ask softly.
He’s silent for a bit, tapping his fingers on your back with his free hand. “I’m not sure, school? Life? …Me? There’s no exact reason, everything just seems to be crashing down in my brain and it’s annoying to say the least.” He sighs heavily, “I’m probably just having that kind of month where everything is just feels like alot.” He frowns and you move the hand in his hair down under his chin, gently squeezing his cheeks and he chuckles.
“That’s perfectly fine, it happens.” You move the hand to trail up the left side of his face and place your palm over his forehead like you’re checking his temperature and it makes Charlie join in, prodding at Nick’s neck gently.
“There’s a lot going through your life right now, perfectly understandable why it feels overwhelming and such. Thank you for talking to us about it.” Charlie speaks softly.
“Of course. I don’t,” Nick pauses, opening his eyes with a flash of worry, “I don’t want it to feel like I’m shutting you both out or anything, or if it feels like you’ve done something wrong. I feel less weird thinking I’m overreacting, haha…” The laugh comes off flat but from the reassuring smiles from his lovers, he feels at ease.
“You’re not.”
“Nuh-uh.” You and Charlie speak simultaneously, denying such thoughts. It makes Nick laugh which sounds less forceful.
“I don’t think I’ll be able to talk about everything right now since I don’t even think I’m done… accessing everything but really, thank you. You both are my anchors.” If you didn’t tear up from that, your heart definitely did. Charlie gets up off Nick, letting go of the blond’s hand and tilts his head back with his hands over his face.
“Same, Charlie.” You cover your own face and lay flat against the blanket.
“I…” Nick trails off with another laugh and he sits back up which catches both of your attention. “Can we eat though, I’m getting a little hungry.” He gives a shy smile and you also sit up.
“Oh shit, what if the ice cream melted?!” This realization has the three of you shooting towards the basket, grabbing the packaged delights and simultaneously sigh in relief. They’re not melted… yet.
“Should we just eat these first and then eat the actual lunch next?” Charlie bites back a laugh, already opening up the plastic and pulling out the bubblegum eye Sonic, wasting no time to put it in his mouth with wide adorning eyes.
You and Nick watch him in amusement before opening your own. “I wanted this lime popsicle they usually sell but there were none.” You sigh before eyeing Nick’s container of airhead ice cream. He opens the top and it reveals the swirls of… red? Or pink and green.
“That’s funny, we saw those while we were at the store. There were these coconut flavors too.” Nick reminisces, plucking the taped but wrapped in it’s own plastic wooden spoon off the side of the ice cream container.
Charlie hums before looking down at the bitten into Sonic, “Why does Sonic have green eyes? Are they actually green?”
You all stay silent.
“I thought they were black or brown?” You speak in confusion.
“Right? Even blue….” Charlie tilts his head.
“Technically all of those are correct though they turn red as well… It’s the different franchises, I guess?” Nick furrows his brows in thought, scooping into his sour treat after freeing the wooden stick and eats away, wincing here and there. You watch with amusement.
The lunch date you can say with absolute certainty was very successful. You all catch up on things that have been going on and different shows you’ve been watching. Sharing ice cream, stuffing yourselves full with your Mom’s cooking – there was even a drink war? All you knew was one minute you were nearly done with your beverage and the next it’s being tossed in Nick’s direction as you try and run away from Charlie’s retort from you getting him seconds before. Ah, can’t forget the classic kisses shared under one of the many trees at the park and the newest photos stored in your ‘Nick & Char ❤️’ album, like the picture of Charlie ‘painting’ Nick’s face with whip cream. Where the fuck did you get whip cream from? Ask your mother.
Around the time you were all packing up, a teenager around your age ran up with their four other friends and inform you there is a nice walking trail – pointing towards the area where the park path splits, one continuing into a circle around the whole field and the other going into an area with rows of trees.
“Y’think we’ll get jumpscared? Like a haunted path or something.” You joked.
“They said there’s a nice stream down the path.” Nick smirks at your joking, placing a hand on your head and you puff out your cheeks, feeling them heat up a bit.
“Ah yes, you can take a nice swim in it when I push you in there, Y/N.” Charlie hums, quick to dart his eyes away when you flip your head in his direction.
“You’re so evil to me?” You watch him with wild eyes, mouth agape and he laughs.
“Do you think we’ll actually able to get in?” Nick ponders and you flip the wild gaze to him now.
“With us three, I’m sure we can pull it off.” Charlie responds with a menacing grin, mischief all up in his eyes and you’re playing ping pong with your eyes, flitting back and forth between them.
“I’m gonna be arrested today, huh…” Your boyfriend and bestfriend just giggle like evil people.
In the end, you three didn’t get in the stream’s water but there were some fishes so you decided to feel them the crust that Charlie didn’t eat from his sandwich and take some more photos. Nick had picked Charlie up bridal-style, getting dangerously close to the water and you record it all.
“Don’t drop me!” Charlie tightens his hold around Nick, fear and excitement in his tone.
“This takes me back to the beach…” Nick ignores his boyfriend’s pleas and spins around carefully.
“Do not reminisce while I’m in your arms, please and thank you?!” He exclaims and it makes you full on laugh, an arm over your stomach while watching the whole exchange happen.
It’s not long before it turns from afternoon to evening, you three return back from the area with Nick and Charlie debating on if they saw a deer or not. Charlie saying it was definitely there and Nick saying it wasn’t there.
“Carl Grimes flashbacks…” You hum and Charlie puts you in a headlock.
“Do not. I will cry right here.” He pouts and pulls at your cheeks, ignoring your protests. Nick watches with a soft gleam in his eyes, rocking the picnic basket back and forth with a hand.
You all walk down the sidewalk side by side once Charlie lets you go, talking about random things before Nick realizes the direction you’re going.
“Are we dropping Y/N off?” He frowns.
It catches you and Charlie off guard. “What? What makes you think that?” You raise an eyebrow. Nick points ahead and your house in slowly coming up in view. Ah.
“Ah.” Charlie speaks your thought and you both share a laugh. “No, we’re not dropping her off.” Charlie stretches his arms with a grunt before eyeing the bag strapped around Nick. “You brought pajamas and clothes for tomorrow, right?”
Nick nods, pursing his lips. “Still confused about that.”
You scoff in amusement and place a hand on your forehead with an endearing smile. “Nick…”
“Don’t worry, you’ll understand soon.” Charlie gives him a thumbs up, paired with a wink before darting ahead of the two of you. Nick flicks his gaze to you in question but you put on an act and shrug.
“What he said,” You pause for a moment, eyes burning into Nick’s, “Do you like stargazing?”
He moves closer to you, closing the gap and tugs your hand in his. The question makes him look up at the sky for a moment. “Mmm. Never tried it before? What counts as stargazing? I’ve… been in the car on trips and looked out the window…?” You give him a perplexed look which he returns.
“Alright, well-“ You chuckle, “That can… technically count? I guess? Just… Yeah.” You give up midway, tugging Nick along when you get closer to the front of your house where Charlie awaits. “You’re on your phone while you’re on a date? Tsk tsk.” You tut your lips in disapproval and Charlie startles.
He rolls his eyes, flipping his phone to the two of you bounding up the steps. “I was texting Saha- oops, hold on-“ He cuts himself off, flipping the phone back around with a nervous smile.
You glance at Nick before moving your hand to cover his eyes with your other hand. He gasps in surprise but doesn’t question it any further, grinning a bit. Facing back to Charlie you mouth the word, ‘Barbie?’ and tilt your head in confusion. He nods.
“You’re silly.” You remove your hand from Nick’s face and flatten your hand, tapping Charlie’s forehead in a chopping motion. He rubs the area with a laugh and you knock on your front door.
“Did you forget your keys?” Nick giggles when you give him a look of shame.
“Maybe.”
Your Mom is quick to open the door, grinning widely. “Welcome back. Hello, Charlie and Nick.” They wave in shyness and she scoots back to let the three of you in. “What’s the plan next, soldier?” She bumps the door closed with her hip and loosely crosses her arms, raising an eyebrow at you specifically.
“Gonna go in the back for about an hour…” You trail off, taking your shoes off in the most complicated way. With your feet, or the heels per-say. When you finish you take the basket from Nick and walk to the kitchen with your mom as the boys finish taking off their own shoes. “To stargaze.” You finally finish when Nick’s ears are out of reach.
She pats you on the back with approval, “Attagirl. How was lunch?”
“It was fun! We spoke a bit, ate and went down a trail.” You bounce your head to the side while listening the activities before pausing. “He seems more… energized?” Your lips purse.
“Was that a question?” She leans against the counter, one arm coming out of the self-hug and she combs her hand through your hair. You give her an awkward look and she breathes out a laugh. Tapping the crown of your forehead, she moves away to the fridge with a soft smile. “Well, if he seems to be uplifted,” She eyes you before taking out three water bottles. “That’s great news, no?” Then sets them infront of you on counter.
“You’re right but… I don’t know. I just feel like I can do more,” You huff. “But that’s dumb because of course I can’t, this has to be something Nick figures out and all I can do is support him.”
“Honey, that is doing more for him. Supporting him is the biggest help you can five someone, along with what you’re already doing. Taking him out, letting him have space to clear his mind and being a safe net. Same thing with Charlie, no?“ Her hands latch onto your shoulders and give the muscles a gentle squeeze. “I know it feels like you want to do so much more but, there’s only so much.” You tilt your head back and look up at her with a half-smile before relenting.
“You’re right.”
“A mother is always right.” She lets go and moves towards the stove, giving you a smug side eye… which you return with an unamused eyeroll.
“Yes, yes. My mother is always right. Sometimes.”
“About ninety-nine percent.”
“Ninety-five…” You lift an eyebrow and give her pointed look. She has a spoon in her hand when she looks over you and points it to her chin in thought, it’s just a bit though.
“Ninety-seven. Take it or leave it.”
You scoff in amusement before scooping up the bottles, “Whatever you say, ma’am. We’ll be outside.” She hums in understanding and you exit out the kitchen, walking into the dining room before reaching the living room where the duo waits.
“Pleasure for you to join us.” Charlie smirks and takes two of the bottles from your arms with a nod of thanks.
“Be welcomed.” Nick muses with a grin and cracks open the bottle, taking a quick refreshing sip.
“What is this speech? I hate it.” Your face scrunches up in disgust before gesturing to the sliding glass door. “Shall we?”
“Look who’s doing it now…” Charlie stares at you cheekily. You give him the finger, he returns it.
There are slides in a shoe rack near the door and you three take a pair before stepping out. Nick’s eyes widen in wonder. Your backyard has a big blanket – similar to the one from the picnic – sitting in the middle of the area that has a plot of grass and lanterns that hang off metal rods sit nicely around in the grass that have curves at the end, doing nicely as handles. What surprises you are the little bugs that fly and flicker with a yellow-green gleam in the air.
“Since when do we get fireflies?” You speak first.
“Since forever, Y/N.” Charlie poked your back and you jump, flipping around to get him back but he’s already slipped behind Nick.
“You little…”
“Ah, ah ah, you have to be nice to me.”
“Says who?” He’s being ridiculous.
“Says me. Your bestfriend.” He peaks around Nick’s side – who, mind you, is still focusing on the backyard’s look – with a teasing grin.
“I’mma beat you up.”
“No!” He lets out a laugh when you lunge towards him, twirling out of your reach and running around with you flailing behind.
It felt special to Nick. The orange-red sky turning into it’s pitch dark blue color, stars twinkling down on you three with a full moon bright. His eyes are stuck on his two partners, the fireflies swirling around them out of disturbance but still they still decorate the backyard with green-yellow hues, not ready to leave. He remembers this conversation you had in this backyard a year ago…
“Do you think fireflies come around this area?” You were sitting on a bean bag, legs tucked beneath yourself and were practically sunken into the ‘seat.’ Charlie had insisted you to put it on the concrete side of the backyard so you did and now your face is hidden behind Nick’s switch in your hands.
Speaking of who, Nick is currently soaked wet, wringing out the ends of his shirt and Charlie wraps himself up in a towel. It’s late night, pitch dark but they wanted to play with water balloons and your Mom happened to be out of the house to pick up dinner.
“Maybe…” He leans back to look at the sky. “Why? Do you like fireflies or something?” He looks back down at you. The question has you silent for a couple of beats before you set down the console. He watches you with an amused twinkle in his gaze, puffing out his chest in pride at seeing you in his sweater. Charlie had been wearing it earlier and you both traded before they brought out the balloons.
“I mean, I have never seen any so, maybe, maybe not.” You shrug, unfolding your legs and stretching them out with a groan. Your socked feet slap down against the concrete and you sit up a bit. “Don’t you think they’re kinda special though? My Mom said it’s like they’re glowing up your night, dancing around you and stuff.” You eye the floor. “Appearing on specials occasions like they know,” You lean back into the seat with a sigh, “Said that’s how she got married. Isn’t that crazy?”
Charlie purses his lips, tilting his head to the side before smiling, “Sounds magical. They’re the ‘true love’ bugs.” His smile widens into a grin.
“Exactly!” You snap your fingers with a nod, bumping your heel against the stone pavement.
“I’m sure they do appear out here though, don’t they come out at Midnight?” Charlie shivers while speaking, hugging the towel around himself tighter. You sympathize with a playful grin.
“Maybe. But well, you boys should get inside and warm up. We’ll try next time.”
“Nick! Are you gonna come and lay down?” He snaps out of his head, eyes darting to you and Charlie lying on the blanket though Charlie is trying to tap out from a leg lock you have him in.
He snorts in surprise, not missing a beat and closing the distance. “How the hell did this happen?”
“Nick! Help me~” Charlie wails before pinching your thigh, making you yelp and quickly let go.
“That is cheating!” You exclaim, rubbing your leg with a wince.
“All’s fair in war.” He snickers, reaching a hand out to Nick who takes it and sits down between you two.
It’s a nice silence between the three of you, you’re not sure who laid down first but you eventually followed. Nick has his arms wrapped around the two of you and you’ve glanced up at his face which shows contentment. You even met his gaze while peeking and it caught you off guard with how much his brown orbs were filled with much love and affection.
You reach a hand out towards Charlie and tussle at curls, making him whine in protest but lets you continue anyway. “I’m not good with constellations so you’re not gonna be getting that during this stargaze adventure.” You mumble against Nick with a laugh and it makes the other two chuckle.
“Nah, that’s alright… I’m happy with this…” You and Charlie freeze at how soft Nick’s voice sounds. Serene. Content. More than happy but not quite ecstatic. Filled with much love directed towards the two of you and it has your heart pounding.
You sit up on your elbow, making Nick’s arm slip off of you and he eyes you with suspicion. “Actually…” This would be way more comfortable on your knees so you sit up, tuck your calves beneath you and cuff Charlie’s face into your hands. It’s nearly laugh worthy of how quick his face turns a deep red and how you felt it happen under your touch.
You lean forward, careful not to face-plant into him – that would be awkward… and painful – pressing your lips against him. You both move into a soft but passionate rhythm. Your thumb brushes against his dusted cheeks, pressing hard against his lips one final time before moving back with a dazed grin.
He returns it, chuckling shyly before meeting Charlie’s intense gaze. You choke back a laugh with the swiftness of your friend sliding up a bit, hand softly cupping the side of Nick’s face and sharing their own kiss. Also very slow, and passionate. Your tilt your head up towards your house, eyeing the sliding door and sigh in relief to not see your Mom near it. By the time your gaze returns you’re meeting with the two boys staring at you with flushed faces.
“Oh my god, you’re so red.” You laugh.
“Shut up?” Charlie hands an arm over his face, probably burning up a bit more from the teasing.
The fireflies have died down, some still hanging around but you notice most are gone and a smile tugs at your lips. “Wanna go inside now?”
Charlie removes his arm with a sharp inhale and the two nod. “Do you need to bring the blanket in?” He points to the cloth when you all stand and you’re quick to shake your head.
“Nah. I’ll grab and wash it tomorrow,” You stretch your limbs, hearing some pop. “I need new bones…”
Nick sticks his tongue out in playful disgust, “That sounds horrific.”
“Wouldn’t that be crazy though? If we needed to trade in new bones when we’re old and seniors.”
“Y/N.” Charlie’s eyebrows bend and he grimaces, “Why do you come up with the most freaky scenarios.” It’s not a question.
“Yeah, like the apocalypse one from before.” Nick pitches in with a frown that falters into a smile.
You all step into the living room after you’re done turning off the lanterns and have grabbed your bottles, “Because my brain is so amazing that I just think of things you would never think of.” You make a gesture to your brain before wiggling your fingers like you’ve done a magic trick.
“Or so you say…” Charlie glances somewhere else before meeting your eyes, “Less would never think of more, shouldn’t think of.” He flicks his hand towards you, thumb and index finger out in a finger gun.
“Hey, these could be real life events soon to happen.”
“Yeah the bones theory would happen when we all become immortal.” He chuckles and you roll your eyes.
Then boom, jumpscare. Your Mom appears just as you’re settling on the couch. A screech leaves all of your mouths and she stares in shock with mild confusion and amusement.
“Hello to you three, too.” She giggles, walking over to the glass door, tugging the lock between the handle down and pulls the thick curtains down. “Enjoy stargazing?” She turns back around with a soft smile.
You three shift your gazes away. Apparently it wasn’t just you that still had the intimate moment in the back of your brain, huh? “Yeah, thanks Mom.”
If she noticed the slight awkwardness building up, she doesn’t mention it nor show it and instead clasps her hands together, “That’s wonderful! Dinner is finished so feel free to grab whatever you want. I’ll be upstairs if you need me.” She fills you in on her own plan for the night which is pretty much staying in her room so you all have your own time. She then tilts her head, eyes spacing out until she perks up, “And then there’s brownies that are baking, should be finished soon. I set a timer so when you hear it please take it our for me, Y/N.”
You nod before frowning, “Why does it have to be me?” Apparently she didn’t understand from the confusion crossing her face. You then point to Charlie and Nick.
Charlie looks offended, “We are a guest?” but his tone is light.
“You practically live here? Your clothes are in my closet, mind you.” Nick and your Mom choke out a laugh while Charlie flares up, flustered.
“Nick’s are too?!”
“Which is why I included him in my pointing?!”
Two people are bickering, two people laughing at the scene. It doesn’t take long for you Mom to calm you both down, “It doesn’t matter who, it doesn’t matter if it’s all three of you. Please just don’t let them burn.” She chuckles a bit more before rubbing her hand against her collarbone to calm herself, “Have a great time. I’ll be in my room.” You all wave her ‘goodnight’ and she retreats upstairs.
You three share a silence. Then Nick speaks,
“…So what exactly are we doing? It seems you both are full of surprises today,” He wears a teasing look which makes you and Charlie look away.
“Don’t worry about it, mister. You enjoy the ride.” You talk first before nudging Charlie with your leg. “You put the movie on, I’ll go make our plates and...” You eye Nick for a moment not knowing what he should do.
“Nick, I put the backpack in Y/N’s room, could you go get it while we set up? Oh! The headbands too.” Charlie pitches in and grins at the mention of the headbands. You and Nick blink at him before standing up to dart down your own paths.
While you’re making the plates the oven timer does go off. You take a toothpick from one of the drawers, flick on the oven light, open the oven – making you flinch back from the heat – then poke the dark chocolate fudge goodness. It has baked all the way so you grab oven mitts and drag the pan of brownies out of it’s cooker, sets it on the stove and flick turn the oven off.
After making sure everything was set in the kitchen you grab two plates and exit the kitchen, back into the living room where the movie is paused on the TV right before it begins. Charlie stands up and helps grab the two plates, letting you dart back into the kitchen again for the last one just in time for Nick to return.
“Do you want drinks? We got juices, sodas, water, you name it.” You peak your head out behind the dining room wall and the two boys pause midway in putting on the barbie headbands. You bite your lip to hold back a laugh.
“Do you have that tropical mix?” Nick speaks and you nod, he points at you in affirmation of the drink then finishes adjusting the plastic accessory around his hair.
“Root beer, please.” Charlie speaks next before his eyes shine open and wide, “Do you think we can have floats…”
Your eyebrows perk up, “I think we have vanilla? But you’re not getting that till the brownies cool down.”
“Oh, they’re out? Thank Barbie.” He holds his hands up in a prayer.
You stare at him, very much unamused and he gives you a cheeky grin.
“I’ll have tropical juice for now then.”
With a thumbs up you return to the kitchen once more, grabbing three tall glass cups from the cabinet and grab the carton juice out the fridge. You fill up two cups before staring at your own. After deciding your choice of drink, you put everything away and startle while turning around and seeing Nick in the doorway.
“Sorry,” He smiles apologetically, walking up to you and grabbing the cups filled with juice that is his and Charlie’s. He catches you off guard once again, planting a soft kiss on your cheek before bounding off to the living room again.
“What the fuck.” You stand in oblivion, feeling your face heat up. You decide you won’t unpack that tonight, flicking off the kitchen light and rejoining your movie mates.
Nick and Charlie had switched spots to where the blond was in the middle like he had been all day and your boyfriend pats the free spot next to him. You comply, setting your cup on the table while sitting and you lean into Nick with a soft smile.
“You forgot this, kind ma’am.” Charlie grabs the plastic pink band and you lean forward. He puts it on carefully and leans back with a self-satisfied expression, grabbing the remote with a quite cheer. “Are we ready for the best movie night ever?”
You and Nick watch him with amusement, “Yes, Charles, we are.”
“Not Charles, I will fight you.” He shivers at the name.
“You call me Nicholas?” Nick speaks. It makes you laugh.
“It’s your real name.” He grins.
“Is Charles not your real name, Char?” You lift an eyebrow and he rolls his eyes, still wearing the grin.
“No, it is ‘Charlie “Char” Spring’.”
You let out an insufferable sigh.
“Y’know, Y/N has called me ‘Luke’ before.” Nick leans his head back with a scoff. This makes you have a full on belly laugh which makes Charlie react the same way. “Yes, yes laugh it away.” He sighs like he’s in pain.
It takes five minutes to calm down. You wipe a precious tear away, “It was on call too and he hung up. Would not answer for like, an hour.” You inhale deeply at the memory before laughing again.
“Should we start calling him Luke as a nickname?”
“Please, please don’t.” Nick squeezes the arm wrapped around Charlie’s waist with a pleading look.
“Awwe you can’t do that.” He pouts, reaching up to pinch Nick’s face.
“Dho wha?” He sounds funny with Charlie tugging at his face.
“The puppy eyed look. The doe eyes.” You bat your eyelashes at Nick when he eyes you from the corner of his eyes before rolling them.
“We’ve gone all dahy withosut this, nowh yuu wanna shtart?” Now he’s the one doing the insufferable sighing.
“It’s a daily mission.” Charlie nods, a serious expression crossing his looks – putting on an act. He then lets go and grabs the remote again, “Movie time!”
“Movie time!” You cheer afterwards.
You three are silent for a bit as the movie plays, you and Charlie cuddling into Nick. He plants soft kisses down your face and you flush a bit. Then he moves to Charlie, repeating the action, who giggles quietly and eyes Nick with a shy look. It makes you laugh under your breath and Charlie doesn’t miss it, pointing to you with a brow raised and expression saying, ‘Don’t laugh at me when you’re acting the same.’ You look away.
“Hey,” Nick suddenly speaks up and the two of you look over. “Thanks for today. It really helped calm me down…” He continues to train his eyes on the TV but his ears burn from you and Charlie giving him your undivided attention. “And reassured me about a few things…” He purses his lips.
“Reassured?” Charlie asks quietly, as if afraid to make Nick snap his mouth shut and not speak again.
Nick sucks in a breath and you shiver from his fingers crawling up your arm. You watch Charlie lift his own hand and hold the arm wrapped around him.
“Yeah. Since everything felt like it was crashing down, I don’t know. It kinda made me feel… negative? About certain stuff. Between us. Not that I’m not happy, I’m more than thankful to be with you two but just like, how you both felt towards me…” His pursed lips flatten and your brows bend at the way his eyes dim.
“Breaking up with me for example because maybe you felt neglected or such. It made me so scared to think about I stopped responding to both of your messages most of the time and barely wanted to call because you know, what if one day you just went, ‘Yeah I don’t think we should be together,’ such and such.” You both stay quiet to let him speak his mind and you hate that he ever thought such things.
When Nick stays silent you take a sharp inhale, meeting eyes with Charlie’s glossed ones. The sight breaks your heart. “Nick…” You start off carefully and he looks over to you with so much exhaust. Slowly, you cuff his face – the same way you did outside – brushing your thumbs against him cheeks. Your right hand moves down, playfully you press your thumb against his bottom lip and smile gently.
“I’m sorry that you ever felt that way. It’s far from the truth, sweetheart.” He lets out an airy chuckle and you watch with adoration. “Y’know brains come up with the craziest scenarios when you’re stressed and it’s annoying, and stupid.” You huff, left hand moving against his cheek and he leans into the touch. Your thumb and index finger latch onto his ear and you pinch it lightly. “Do you know that, that would never happen unless you came to me asking for such a thing?” You pucker out your lips.
He watches you in a daze before laughing. “Do you know that would never happen?” Then he turns to Charlie with a soft look. “And you, Char?”
Charlie rubs at his reddening eyes and inhales. He then nods, opening his mouth before faltering. You both give him and moment and he closes his eyes in frustration before heaving out a sigh. Concern is evident in both of your expressions but Charlie opens his eyes with a new look of determination, straight at Nick.
He smacks his hands against Nick’s shoulders which makes the latter’s mouth hang open in surprise. “Nick. I love you. A lot. It hurts to know that you were dealing with these emotions, but know I’m not blaming you. How could I? It’s not your fault. Never feel bad for needing to take your time to sort out your own feelings and what’s going on with yourself. We’d never blame you for that because in the end, you know we have you, right?”
Nick nods and you can see his own eyes get glossy as well. Charlie then looks at you, “I love you too, Y/N, don’t tell Tao but you’re my bestfriend.” He chuckles, wiping at his eye again and you wipe at your owns.
“Hey, he can be your guy bestfriend and we wouldn’t have to fight over titles.” You wink, before leaning to Nick and kissing him softly. “I love you both, very much so. I’m glad you were able to talk to us, Nick.”
“Was that your goal today?” He grins in a joking manner, tilting his head in the crook of Charlie’s neck while entangling his fingers with yours.
“Did it work?” Charlie sniffles a bit before laughing. You laugh as well, “This is ridiculous we’re supposed to be watching Barbie and now we’re sobbing.”
“I give up.” You throw your head back, side eyeing the TV.
“Nooo, don’t give up.” Nicks chuckles before sitting upright. “We can still watch… we should probably eat too.” He points to the lonely plates on the table.
“True.” You and Charlie agree. You three take a moment to collect yourselves with a few embarrassed laughs here and there before settling back down.
“What’s in the bag, by the way?” You gesture to the backpack under the coffee table as Charlie rewinds the movie back to the beginning. He glances down.
“Snacks.”
“It’s good.” You hum in approval, taking a bite of your food. The three of you enjoy the movie and dinner, later on making those root beer floats paired with the brownies. Charlie had explained to Nick that he was texting Sahar about the Barbie Movie and she told him she went with Imogen. Apparently, Imogen gives the movie a 2/10 because she messed up her outfit at the theaters.
“That’s terrible.” Nick stares at Charlie in shock but it doesn’t last long with the way his lips curve into a smirk, “That’s not her real rating though, is it?”
“Of course not, she loved it.” Charlie laughs.
You’ve been quiet this whole time but suddenly loll your head to face them. Nick already giving you an exasperated look when you got their attention. “Nick. Your new name in my phone is Ken Nelson.”
#.my writing#heartstopper x reader#heartstopper x f!reader#heartstopper x fem reader#heartstopper x fem!reader#i didnt do my typical ‘small text big text at the end’ its too much writing 💀#i rlly dont fully like this but !! didnt wanna keep it stuck in the drafts#again LOTTS of writing im sorry Jfhfjfke#nick and charlie x f!reader#nick and charlie x fem reader#nick and charlie x fem!reader#technically…#nick nelson x reader#nick nelson x f!reader#nick nelson x fem reader#nick nelson x fem!reader#right?
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it's that time of the month again guys!
Malevolent part 47 The Hand live notes!!!
AMAZON AD👹 ANOTHER AD ANOTHER AD ANOTHER AD CAN WE JUST START THE EPISODE
FINALLY!!! um whats happening
are their asses still wandering aimlessly
six hours bruh 💀
a cage :/???
a what
a crime! no doubt!🤓
HAHA HE HAS THE PLAGUE i said yesterday That man probably has every disease by now
hes gonna die so bad guys hes a sick victorian child
ohhh john please carry me to the garden so i may see- um Hear the flowers one last time🤒
his sickness😟 i cant believe our actions have consequences
theyre ganging up on yorick😭
HAHA hes fine Physically me asf
"indescribable horrors" that doesnt stop john from describing every horror in immense detail
"we both have" im sorry john did you get stabbed like eight times🙄 this aint about you
💀he folded💀
HAHA so he wasnt lying damn😭 I KNEW IT blud was so ready to kill more children
john defending his comfort character
😟Sold Your Soul😟
"i offered myself to it" gayass
this speech goes so hard actually
NEW MUSIC NEW MUSIC
omg it sounds more hopeful now :((
aw he thanked arthur :)
god damn it yorick🙄
WHAT does the corpse have the hand
i mean they did pinky promise
HIS EYE 😦😦
loose enough to pry with ur fingers😨
yorick is building frankensteins monster i fear
MALEVOLENCE MENTIONED NO WAY NO WAYYYYYY NORWAY IS THIS WHY THE SHOW IS NAMED THIS
can yorick lie is that a thing😟😟😟
come on arthur you were a boyscout u can climb this easily
"the pole is wood" just like mine haha🙏🙏🙏🙏
theyre gonna start a forest fire😶
just throw something at it guys idk
omg a pin‼️ throw something at it!!
"excellent hypothesis my king🤓" "JOHN👹" "right!!🤓"
THEYRE GONNA THROW A ROCK YEAAAAA💥💥💥💥
hows he gonna throw when hes blind
why is he so good at throwing wtf
i guess we cant stay here throwing rocks for the entire episode
ALEXANDER :333
EUHGHH😟😟😟😟😟
DONT THROW ROCKS AT BIRDS THATS HOW THE HORRORS HAPPEN
maybe alexander isnt evil n hes just trying to protect us idk🤕
"i was never much for athletics" we can tell
theres gotta be a theme this season and its gotta be Children or Childhood or something
"if they could see me now" mmmm
WHAT IS THAAATT HUHHH
😨😨😨😨
WHAT IS THATTTTTTT WHAGAAT
maybe its just a freaky bird
hes so good at falling down holes
WHAT HAHA WE CANT RN😭😭
😦ERM? YORICK???????
KELLIN MENTIONED big day for gay people 🙏🙏
so was yorick always evil orrrr coz he said My King instead of john and yorick has called him john before
guys i think alexander might be the Not Evil one here
hand of malevolence would go so hard as like a window decoration
ur telling me john knew what a Hand of Malevolence was and didnt link it to the dark world
NOOO DUMBASS
ummm 😟 whats all this then
YORICK :3333 HIIII :3
what 😀
"john" :3
HAHA what is going on bruh
OMG WHAGT 😃😃😃 thats banger
"thank you i think"
:(( aw alexander IS evil :((((((
she? 🤕
OHHH IS IT LILITH IS IT LILITH PLS LILITH PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
lilith and kayne are having a custody battle over them funny as hell
OHHH she was in the portal
TEEHEE WE'RE HER FAVORITE :33
dont confront her i feel
but theyre BOTH terrible at lying🤕
they're cooked i fear
hes DYING😟😟😟😟😟😟
An Owl Being Strange
flies are insects darling
they finally appreciate yorick :)
john we dont have time for this omg
HAHA silly asf
they have a safeword now
harlan's really making us work for it like im gonna forget this if they dont point it out
the candle has been running out for hours fr
nooo :( r we approaching the ending
how do we still have like 15 minutes left
HAHA this is so funny theyre roleplaying
theyre yes-and'ing like theatre kids
i mean i bet she noticed yall were gone for a solid 15 minutes
so is the king in yellow just not a threat anymore like did we defeat him i forgot
are we in an alternate universe then
i know far too much!🤓☝️
arthur caught the decima virus i fear
STOP COUGHING im so worried
arthur needs his vaccines fr
is he gonna faint
"and if i am sick-" "you are😐"
OH the ring
hes really gonna go over there and spread his plague around 🙄
i feel like arthur wont even make it to the castle🤒
he coughs like a dad
"lean on me" maybe if you had a physical form😐
oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck
we just have to wing it i guess
its WHAT😨
what is going on man 😟
UM😦🤕
WHAAT THATS IT? wtf
#malevolent#malevolent podcast#arthur lester#john doe#john doe malevolent#malevolentpod#malevolent 47#arthur lester malevolent
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[NSB HEADCANONS] - them taking care of you when you’re pregnant!
synopsis: title says it all!
warnings: mention of morning sickness, vomiting, pregnancy stuff… some mistakes here and there
type: fluff
members: everyone
wc: around 200 by members? i think? so around 1.4K
not feeling 100% great atm, so im sorry if theres mistakes :((
reblogs and likes are very appreciated!
OLIVER MOY - the one who would support you by doing the tasks / giving you compliments during that period
The sweetest man
He would literally be the best dad, fr
LIKE HAVE YOU SEEN HIM WITH KIDS??? (Talking abt the members rn 🤣)
He would do all the tasks for you
And compliment you!
Oli would make sure that you eat food and drink your water
« And here’s for you, my love!!! Your favorite pasta! »
he would be soooo supportive 🥹
« Hey baby, I’ll take care of it! Go rest yourself, alright? »
« c’mon my love. Go take a break, I’ll do the chores! »
He’s literally the man we all wish we had in our life
« You look so beautiful with that baby dump »
« our baby will be so pretty »
« Do you think they will have my eyes or yours? Gosh, i hope they will have yours.. yours are so pretty »
OLIVER MOY, STOP BEING SO DAMN CUTE LIKE???
He would literally be the cutest man alive during this time (as if he wasnt enough sweet like that)
like tell me if im wrong (im not)
(Others members under the cut!)
SEBASTIAN MOY - the one who would try to make you laugh / smile
Listen…
This man would try to make the time less crampy
less painful too
Remember the video where he took the pregnancy test? He was screaming.
He knows you’re strong enough, and everything… but he hates seeing you in pain (even though its normal since ur literally pregnant lol)
So, obvs since he know it hurts, he would try to make the time less hard for you :( bc he know that the test and the pregnancy state is two completely different things
he took the pregnancy test and it hurted him so bad... he can't imagine it must be for you
But if he can make the time less painful by making you laugh / smile, he would do it
This man would buy flowers.
I just see him walking in ur house and being like « hey, here’s flowers for the future mommy »
Also, he would try to crack jokes here and there
Pregnancy jokes, even!
« Why did the pregnant woman go on a picnic? Because she was craving a little something extra! »
thank you seb for this joke 😐
He would also bring your favorite food / drinks 🥤
He would search them on google and he would be so proud
"im gonna be the funny one in this family"
He’s the energetic member of the group, but for you, he would try to rest and not move too much 🥲 like this man would, surprisingly, be calm (only for you, babe)
Seb would be such a good supporter too, although affirmations is not his first love language, he would be super cute. i promise you :)
RYAN NGUYEN - the one who would help you with ur cravings / the one who try to make you relax
He would judge you so bad for ur cravings
But he would buy them for you
Why? Bc even though he thinks its weird, he knows it could make u happy and make you smile
And him seeing your smile can easily make his day 😚
« babe, i love you with all my heart, i truly do, but… why are you putting bananas in apple sauce and yogourt…? »
But he loves you! (sometimes hes giving you a side eye)
Also… he would literally take care of everything
A bit like Oliver would do :)
« Babe, don’t worry abt it! I can take care of it »
« Need help? Alright, wait a sec »
He would quit his game for you in like 0.3844843 sec
« What the fuck just happened?!?!- baby? Need help? Yeah, one sec… alright boys, im heading out » (he would say smth like that)
« Go relax, my love. I can do it »
« Baby… stop overworking yourself! I know you can do it, but i want you to relax… you’ve been working all day »
Also, even thought it doesn’t look like it, he would be super supportive
He’s just more an ‘actions’ than a ‘word’ kind of person
JUSTIN PHAN - the one who would send you voices messages during your day to make sure ur taking care of urself and not overworking / help you with your morning sickness
Justin would be the type to grab his phone during a really important moment and just text you / give u voice messages
Although he know u love helping around in the house and doing ur tasks, he make sure that you don’t get overworked
« Hey baby, im with the boys at the store… do u need anything at the store? »
This man’s would also help you during the morning sickness
He just want the best for you 😁
Jp look like the person who knows when there’s a problem without you having to say it
« Hey baby, is everything okay? »
Like idk why but he look like the type that would read faces lol
he has this gut feeling, what can i say?
« Hold on, drink that glass of water, okay? Deep breath, baby… »
« Yeah, just like that »
If he see you vomiting, he would take ur hair up and pat ur back
« it’s okay baby, let it all out, everything's gonna be fine»
« if anything happen, wake me up alright? I want to be there for you »
Like for sure, seeing vomit is not the most aesthetic thing he saw, but he knows that it’s normal
KANE RATAN - the one who would massage you and listen to you
this man would be so cute.
I literally said that to everyone 💀 but it’s true
We all know how kane give good massages
This man know what he’s doing!
He probably took massages classes when he was younger, bc this man would give u the best massage ever
« come here, i will give you a lil’ massage, baby… let me knock out the stress away! »
Also, during the massage…
He would literally let you talk about your pregnancy, how the cramps are, how is it… or just random stuff haha
In others words: let you vent abt what ur going through during that time, because he knows its not always easy
« Tell me if it hurt, okay? I don’t want to hurt you »
Also, i feel he would be the type to ask this question:
« Do you think we’ll have a girl or a boy? »
« if im being honest, i don’t really mind if its a girl or a boy… as long as they’re happy, im happy »
« Do you think we could play anime music? Do you think it would make them a fan of AOT? Or we could play one piece!! omg baby, do you think they would like aot or one piece more? »
Not Kane wanting to make ur future baby (not even borned yet lol) a fan of AOT… such a relaxing and childish anime, wow!!!
DARREN LIANG - the one who would cook for you and kiss ur cramps away
We all know how Darren is a great cook
So I’m sure he would love to cook for you :)
« hey babe, i just cooked ur favorite meal! »
Isn’t he so cute? 🥹
The con is that he would judge your cravings.. like Ryan.
BUTTTTT he know it can make you happy, so he would obviously make them for you if it can make you happy!
Also, he would kiss your cramps away
To me, he looks like such a sweetheart when it come to pain or smth like that
« Hey baby, are you okay? »
« Do you want me to help you? »
A bit like Kane, dar’ would give you a little massage
« You’re so cute baby »
And he would kiss you 🤭 bc it’s Darren we’re talking abt!
also, if ur in the mood... its ur lucky day!! bc this man's always in the mood!
« Are you feeling a bit better? »
« Come and rest next to me, alright? »
He’s such a sweetheart, woah
REGIE MACALINO - the one who would go shopping with you for baby clothes / decorations
He would be the best dad ever, no joke
He would buy soooo many decorations and clothes, like we all know how regie has style, like there’s absolutely no way his son / daughter won’t have style too
And even if regie says « i put whatever i want » like okay maybe he do, but like it is styled in a way that i can’t explain lmaooo
I’m sorry, he just seem to be the type to search a bit in store, then on pinterest to see what would look good lol 🫢
I’m sure regie would be the type to search on Pinterest some baby decorations
Btw, your baby's room would be sooo messy, im so sorry
Regie would only look for cool bedsheets and fun decorations, but not for organizer bc have you seen his room?? Guys, it’s a bit messy im sorry
So regie wouldn’t be the type to buy organizer, BUTTTTTT he would make sure to let (try) the piece clean with his kid if it can make you happy
Regie seems tough, but he’s indeed a big sweetheart
He has sm love for us the star (his fan) so imagine for his kid-
He would be the cutest dad ever, like I’m sure regie would be there for his kid in all the ways he can
He would take care of you so so much too
He would be like Oliver haha
Sing for you, make you food, do the tasks (look how gentleman he is)… also, he would def make the baby like him more.. im sorry
taglist! (open! send an ask if you’d like to be added) : @nsb-rkive @kentisbaby @firebenderwolf @hyuneee0 @yawnzzznnn @ghostyycat7
Olegie has my heart 🤭
100% recommand this man!
Bold can’t be tagged.
#ghostiiess#nsb#northstarboys#north star boys#headcanon#headcanons#nsbheadcanons#sebastian moy#oliver moy#ryan nguyen#justin phan#regie macalino#darrenliang#kane ratan#sebastian moy x reader#sebastian moy x female reader#sebastian moy x you#olivermoy#oliver moy x reader#oliver moy x female reader#azngami#ratan kane#darren liang x reader#darren liang x female reader#macalino regie#nsb x reader#nsb x female reader#north star boys x female reader#north star boys x reader#north star boy x reader
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Inuzuka Hana (Kiba's big sis) should be around the right age for Houhua's Gennin team.
The only other person I could think of close in age was Kabuto, who is ~2 years older so he could be there if his other teammates made Chunnin. (since his thing was constantly failing the chunnin exams)
Otherwise maybe someone else to round them out to a tracking team?
-filler Izumi anon
Holy shit you're a genius, I am kissing u rn, oh my god
Im actually taking both of them and running, no more comment, no other suggestions needed this is THE most interesting thing anyone could have suggested actually
First off: I suddenly need a Houhua and Hana friendship. Hana is the Inuzuka clan heir if I'm not wrong? But also if I am wrong no one tell me bc even if she isn't confirmed it in canon, she is in my heart, so,
Houhua being buddies with the Uchiha clan head and then later getting to be buddies with Hana would be so good, and Hana, being a clan heir, probably interacted with Itachi more than a few times in the past so she'd possibly hae noted Houhua's presence around him before the massacre or smthn
Hana just kind of harassing Houhua and dragging him around, they are besties now bc she says so. He does not get a choice in this matter. She will not let him drag her down just because theyre stuck on the same team together!!! She's gotta graduate fast in order to keep up with her clans (and her own) expectations of her!
I think she was eligible for early graduation but her mother actually said no, she wanted her to stick with the traditional route. Hana won't let that slow her down though, she's on a roll! And Houhua won't be the one to slow her down!
Meanwhile, I think it'd be cool if Kabuto noted Houhua's talent and smarts, but maybe didn't note it enough to really worry ab-- but like maybe that could be how we get our very first crumbs of "uh oh, be careful not to get on Orochimaru's radar over there Houhua!"
(Houhua does NOT know Kabuto is with Orochimaru, he does not remember that shit)
Now I just need a solid sensei for them-- though I do still think the idea of them being a "cursed" team who gets passed from sensei to sensei, constantly being dropped and tossed around like a hot potato for varying reasons, is super funny. But like, which sensei's?
Kakashi to start, then he fucking walks off after making eye contact with Houhua and tells Sarutobi if he tries to give him another team he'll kill himself fr this time
Then uhh, idk, Genma could be fun? For like a week maybe, just as a temporary sensei while they try to assign them a fr one
Ok actually running with that, POV Genma is lowkey their in between Sensei-- whenever they get dropped, they're told to go find Genma and he should help him with reassignment, then he kind of takes care of them for a week or two while they scramble to find someone official
The kids ask Genma why he can't just be their fr sensei and he just kind of laughs and goes "you think you can get me to do this full time??? Hahahahaha. No."
Theres some implications there with Hana, being a clan heir, being tossed around like a hot potato w them, but again that can just be part of the "curse"
Maybe her mother is also telling her to toughen up and roll with the punches too, idk
Hana is actually the reason they're doing much of any training in the inbetween periods of not having a sensei, pass it on. She wont let them slack off, not when they'll have to get through the chunin trials together-- she refuses to carry them!
Houhua meanwhile is forced into doing actual team work for the first time in like. Decades, tbh.
He is struggling.
#birds fic talk#uchiha houhua#naruto#kabuto yakushi#yakushi kabuto#inuzuka hana#hana inuzuka#svsss#shang quinghua#scum villain self saving system#birds asks
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what do you think about the characters in Double Exposure so far?
the characters themselves arent that bad,, but i definitely cant say i really care for any of them yet. as in i wouldnt be that upset at any of their deaths
at first i was NOT vibing right with Safi at all considering literally all of her jokes are straight up hit or miss, but the more we learn about her (or. learn that we have a lot to learn) the more i’ve grown interested and fond of her. she kinda gives Way Too Excited For 8 AM Teacher vibes.
Moses is kinda intriguing to me right now, but is also pretty much a nothing burger,, i can only assume (and hope) i’ll see more about him after chapter 1. so. he’s kinda silly, thats about it.
OH Loretta. i hate her so much, she’s so funny, i love her. i always love to hate a good bitchy girl character. oh my cod— ESPECIALLY when the look she gives Max if u try to call her bluff. im definitely hella excited to see more of her— especially since she clearly brought out the more bitchy side of Max. honestly so far i think these two’s dynamic is my favorite. she kinda feels like Max, Victoria, and Rachel all smushed together.
then theres Gwen,,, the game’s definitely setting us up to be suspicious of her. i dont have many thoughts about her though other than that. shes hot ? kinda endearing when shes not pissed at us. thats about it.
Amanda……………. 😒 she exists ig. no fr though, she’s literally fine. she feels more like a quirky best friend disney channel character than a real person. and then theres with the game SHOVING her and max together… idk! maybe ill warm up to her. i dont want to hate her but the game is very quickly pulling me down that route.
oh then the other guy max can flirt with for some godforsaken reason?? Vinh is his name i think. i dont trust him, and i dont think were supposed to. personally i think it feels ooc for max to openly flirt with him back— especially so quickly,, even if she’s doing it jokingly or smth. like girl you were just either talking about how you can never recognize when youre being flirted with or need to take time before flirting back with someone— AND even then. you’d think max would be more wary of overly charming who show an interest in her.
which brings me to Lucas. im guessing if anything happens with him he’s gonna be a red herring. maybe it’s just me, but i wouldn’t be surprised if were supposed to be reminded of jefferson when we see him,, at least he doesnt have any real interest in her though.
pretty sure Amanda and Vinh are the only two love interests? either way i honestly dont think it makes sense for Max to be seeking either of them out romantically. this may be the Aro in me, but chloe was a realistic “love interest” in the OG game because well. they were Max and Chloe. and besides that Max was already with her basically 24/7, and was obsessed with her. they made sense. they werent forced or obviously placed there just to be love interests— it was natural.
honestly Amanda and Vinh just seem like.. love interests for the sake of love interests.
tbh any love interest for Max right now just feels,,,, maybe could’ve been the right person but WAY too wrong of a time. like i dont even see an interesting unhealthy dynamic— and if i wanted that i would just go to current DE!pricefield so.
this brings me to Chloe… im happy she’s haunting the narrative rn,,, could be doing it a little harder imo—but other than that im. trying not to form any huge opinions on the Max and Chloe situation. when we (hopefully istg decknine) get the whole picture ill probably talk about this more. im just pretty conflicted.. and also wishing decknine just CHOSE one of the endings (bay WHO SAID THAT) instead of leaving it open to not piss anyone off.
oh uh then Reggie and Diamond,, i dont have any thoughts about them really except for being mildly intrigued by the amount of attention handed over to Diamond. im guessing she’ll have more plot relevance later,,, but Reggie will prob stay a very side character.
i thinkkk thats everyone? OH. Yasmin. not much about her. can appreciate how much she cares about Safi’s murder. but yeah nobody else comes to mind,,, and if i did miss somebody i guess that just goes to show how little i think of them.
so i guess overall my thoughts about the DE characters are “we’ll have to see what happens.”
#lis#life is strange#lis de#lis double exposure#life is strange de#life is strange double exposure#lis de spoilers#lis double exposure spoilers#dont know/remember most of their last names. so.#max caulfield#chloe price#thanks 4 the ask 😼 i love 2 yap#woof
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I feel. Insane. Bonkers actually. Marbles lost over this trailer.
but I HOPE THERE'S SLEEPER. I don't know how well a 2hr something movie handle the intro of that many symbiote characters but we shall see. also??? the lizard (more accurately the guy who plays him) being there??? why???
the shot of klyntar as well!!! (and that reveal has me shaking in my boots... Im afraid and I don't know if that's good)
I don't quite trust the IMBd page yet; there's a kid on the cast page, he could be sleeper or dylan. Venom War and now this??? im losing it (if I had it in the first place)
logged on just to see what you'd posted abt the trailer bc i finally got to watch it and wanted to come scream w yall
Hi!!! I’m also going insane!!
IF THERES NO SLEEPER IM GOING TO CRY. After everything that’s going on in the comics rn I need Eddie in some media being a good dad. I’m on my knees begging for him to have one fatherly bone in his body. Dylan would also be cool, but I’m biased towards Sleeper lol
LIZARD GUY!! WHY IS HE HERE. IS SONY FR STILL TRYING TO MAKE THEIR SHITTY SPIDERMAN WKTH NO SPIDEY UNIVERSE REAL AFTER THE ABSOLUTE STINKERS THEYVE PUT OUT
ALSO KLYNTAR LOOKS SO COOL!! The shots of the Hive had me going feral— and the symbiotes emerging from it is so slay!!!
thank you for screaming with me!!! I love yapping about Venom way too much— screaming crying throwing up I’m so excited for this movie!!!
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HI I WAS THE FIRST ANON AND YOURE SO FUCKING RIGHT. GOD.
I just think that Daan has this kinda like. Need to be towered over? I think thats why he interacts with the people who are kinda cold/uncaring/powerful most. I mean. He's found himself almost in every aspect of his life in a position where someone was constantly telling him what to do, and I feel like strong characters (like O'saa or karin) kinda fill that niche of "I need someone to boss me around and tell me what to do because I've lived my life at others whims and while I can hold my own for a good bit after a while I'm not sure what to do but asking for help would be too vulnerable so having someone be a higher up towards me gives me a sense of security but i will also kinda be a little shit about it so it doesnt seem so vulnerable" and with O'saa he's super blunt. Very much "I will do things my way wether you like it or not and you will follow my lead or get out my way." and I mean, hell he was a leader! He very much outwardly has control and leadership tendencies, even if inside he doesn't feel like he can ever truly fit the bill. Which is what Daan is looking for yknow? And O'saa, i just kinda think for O'saa its one of those things of he cant for the life of him figure out why he likes him so much, but then Daan starts talking to him about scholarly topics and they have discussions of religion, medicine, science, war, and other things and theres this draw of Daan's Intellegence paired with this strange need of "i want to see him happy, because his whole life hes been miserable and part of it reminds me of me and if i cant be happy then perhaps i can make someone else happy to fill the void" (touching on the whole joking between the two) but being as O'saa has an enlightened soul, i feel like he would be incredibly interested in what Daan has to say. If the two ever got the chance i feel theyd definitely debate between eachother. Imagine that one reaction meme image of the two scholars talking to eachother. Thats them i think. I feel like the two compliment eachother but in a way of like. They fill a niche the other is searching for. Neither are good with words, much less pda, but alone? I feel like if there ever was time alone in a different time in a different place their intimacy would be intense, passionate, and wordless. Nothing would really need to be said, just intimacy, a smoke on the balcony, and dinner in a perfect world. Other people may find their relationship seemingly loveless, but they just couldn't understand the wordless display of trust, of closeness, and of tenderness. How could they? The two have only ever really been truly vulnerable with the other, and I feel if conflict was to arise, they may argue, take a heated break, and then come back with a wordless apology and cook for eachother. Acts of service, cooking, and gift giving i feel would be something that again, if given the chance, the two would indulge in regularly. I feel if O'saa was being particularly sappy he'd maybe get Daan some expensive alcohol he'd been eyeing. As for Daan, I feel he'd get O'saa a nice clothing piece the other had been admiring. But that's in a life they'd never get, I suppose... sorry for rambling in your inbox, I care for them dearly PFT
Anon rn:
BUT FR LIKE IM SOSO GLAD TO RECIEVE THIS RESPONSE BC YOU EXPLAINED SO WELL WHAT I WAS THINKING
I put my thoughts down there i hope i was able to cover everything
Im going to start off in a daan analysis tangent real quick
Daan has been neglected by his cultist parents ever since he was a baby. He probably never got the proper feeling of security or personal growth as a child because he was always living to survive. Which worsened even more after the death of his parents, and was doomed to child labour very young. Im sure he never got to properly play or express himself as a kid until he got closer to Elise. But The only thing about himself he found worth talking about were his insane cultist parents. His life at the Baron’s mansion was everything he had, as were his studies of modern medicine. That's why he feels attracted to powerful and determined people like O'saa and Karin (and Marcoh too, I believe), who seem to know exactly what their own goals are and think they still have control over what is happening. Despite trying to do things on his own, he still craves company. He also wants to protect the younger ones, like Levi and Marina, because his ass is projecting! But the sad thing is that Daan can't be too dependent on these people and doesn't want to share too much of his past with them because it's very traumatic for him.
If the discussion had taken place, I think O’saa would have been very interested in Daan and his upbringing. Daan never followed the religions and cults of Europa and is aware of their danger. He prays to Sylvian not as an act of worship but to help those who are sick. He also ran away from Pocketcat his whole life and never wanted to give himself to him until depression hit him harder than before. This makes Daan rational, smart, and inquisitive. Which seem to be attractive traits for someone who possesses an enlightened soul.
TOTALLY AGREE ALSO ABOUT THESE TWO HAVING BIG BRAINED DISCUSSIONS O'saa proves himself to be a good listener to others feelings in the booth; Daan can be a very open-minded person; and they both have similar views about the use of magic. I agree that the way they show affection is when they’re both very intimate with each other. O’saa does not trust people lightly because, in his case, his greatest fear is manipulation due to the fact that his country is being invaded and controlled by Europa's religions, wars, and cults. So he only ever relied on himself, which is why he chose to be a yellow mage. I imagine it might take a great deal of time and trust for him to share his vulnerability and feelings with Daan. But they seem to both crave social interaction since they're both lonely at heart, so there might be a chance (we’re winning, girlies!). Either way, I agree with sappy O'saa, that's such an adorable concept and somehow fitting since he finds his own jokes funny. I hc that he’s very genuine when he talks about his emotions, and no matter how embarrassing they are, he always says them with a straight face. But Daan is so sappy too. They would write each other love letters; you cannot tell me otherwise.
Also, I thought of an ending for these two surviving the festival: Daan confessing to O’saa that he doesn’t have anything that waits for him and O’saa noticing the true meaning of those words. He feels a tinge of sympathy because Daan has lost everything to war and religion, and he can't bear to see him give up after surviving the gruesome festival. So O’saa proposes to make a deal to be his personal doctor because he plans to travel dangerously, defy the authority in his country to establish his own teachings, and rise to the top. Since Daan doesn’t have anything to lose, he agrees to it. I think that it is during those travels that they will slowly fall for each other. They might also find some closure on their pasts during those trips.
#long post#i apologize super hard for the time i took to respond to this bc i couldn’t formulate my thoughts back then ihad sm to sayyy#O’saa/daan#daan#O’saa
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Maybe. Just maybe. The wizard x Mr. Qi? I’ve seen it before and it sounds interesting
I searched and searched because I could have sworn I had an idea for this a long time ago and it was in my discord chat with my friend @ao3-totallyhumanexe
May 22nd 2024:
>Is Wizard and mr Qi a ship? >Theres so much potential there Idk If they are I want to be between them Rivalry style Not poly But with both men being so powerful and crazy I really want to see them duke it out
>I do wonder who's more powerful
>For real yeah Mr Qi is very mysterious almost cryptid I think ppl headcanon them not liking each other
Battle of the cryptids.
They both think the other is foolish about their power. Qi is essentially a demigod, because he did a Forbidden Thing that would allow him to become one. Rasmodius could also do this Forbidden Thing if he wanted to, but prefers to hold on to his humanity and obtain functional immortality through magic anyways.
Qi is older and wiser than Ras, but through demigodhood has adopted the petulant attitude of a god. The world is his playground, and Rasmodius is kind of annoying because he can't be controlled as much as the other pawns in his game (because magic).
They need to be forced to work together somehow, the enemy of my enemy style. I have a few ideas for this one. I'm just gonna list them and not go into a full fic preview rn just because I don't want to pick one yet if anything you guys can pick it for me, if this wins the poll.
Incorporate the Ferngill Ministry of Magic from the expanded mod. Ras is in service to them. They do something so heinous that it finally crosses the line for him, and he needs Mr. Qi's help to resolve it. Probably something with Abigail, maybe bringing her into a life he never wanted for his illegitimate daughter.
Maybe we just bring back the vampire!Abigail idea for this one too? I love vampire!Abigail lmao what can I say. Mr. Qi pls save my daughter pls thx
The cryptid farmer is becoming too powerful and is going to do the Forbidden Thing but Qi knows it will end very badly (because the farmer is an agent of chaos). Qi wants to be the only demigod of chaos round these parts thank you very much. Ras would be kind of a double agent torn between sides for a while until eventually realizing he is right and they need to stop the farmer. Yes the farmer gets to play the villain how fun is that? Maybe they could even be stuck in a timeloop because of the game.
Using the ministry of magic again, they have found a way to make Qi mortal again and are coming after him. Ras is his only hope. It takes a lot of convincing that this would even be a bad thing in the first place, but maybe the issue is that the lead magistrate would take his place as a demigod and end up causing way more damage than him. That may or may not be a lie! Also! Maybe Qi just says that because his life is at stake because he's way too old he would die immediately if his mortality catches up to him. By the time the wizard finds out though he doesn't want Qi to die either but he lied to him in a major way so DRAMAAA
No matter what, this ship needs adventure. It's plot-driven and complicated and slow burn.
In the ones where Abigail is involved, Qi has kind of a shock of the kind of life he's given up by forsaking his humanity. But Ras has given that up too, to live as a wizard. It's an interesting dynamic.
Themes of humanity and meaning of life and all that, too. This would be a fun one fr
This ask is a part of the (now closed) SDV Rarepair Challenge! Check out the other answers here, and make sure to boost your favorite so it can appear in the final fic poll! More info on that here.
#stardew valley#sdv#answered asks#send asks#fic writer#ao3 writer#rarepair#shipping in the valley#rare ship#rarepair challenge#ficlet#fic idea#lily speaks#sdv wizard#m rasmodius#sdv rasmodius#sdv mr qi#mr qi#THIS IS SO HARD TO TAG#damn these men and their complicated names#mr. qi#wizard x mr. qi#mr qi x wizard#wizard x mr qi#rasmodius x mr qi#sve#stardew valley expanded
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not going to comment on the ramcoa stuff? yeah thought not.
Crazy how I have a life and a job and didn't give a shit to respond to u when I'm busy n only scrolly tumblr idly but since u clearly got a thing for me ill bite cause you also need my opinions reexplained to you like a child
Also I googled ramcoa cause I didn’t know what that word means (i also didnt know what endo meant till like earlier this fuckin year cause everyone was being very loud and annoying about it) and all I got was "RAMCOA is an acronym for Ritual Abuse, Mind Control, and Organized Abuse." which like. what the FUCK are you even talking about mind control? fucking ORGANIZED ABUSE this is like classic cult aligned shit how does this even relevant to endos and that stuff. please tell me this is a word or acronym for something else that google isnt telling me cause just genuinely huh
listen i took a look at the link u sent i dont wanna post that cause i dont want ppl harassing others on the internet like you seem to want but just for the love of fuck listen to me for two seconds like honest to god read my words and let them sink in
the post you sent me i have literally no context for to me it looks like a shit post. ive made jokes like that before and i need to reiterate that they are JOKES and i am NOT ENDO and i say shit for goofs cause to me and my friends its funny. whether it is or is not a joke is, honestly, not my business. I dont know that person personally i dont know their life i dont know their story so i dont set it as my mission to find people i dont agree with and flip my shit at them. again. life. job. no interest. im 24 and literally not my job to babysit other ppl on the internet i block who i dont like follow who i do and live on w my life (which. highly recommended for all. you too Chuck. makes life so much more livable)
in regards to ur stuff about misinformation the way I see it is people will spread bullshit about just about every topic under the sun. it is, once again, not my job to go around "um actually" everything on the internet. if someone asks me a question i answer if someone im directly talking to has wrong information i try to correct them
When it comes to a lot of people, however, not many of them want to change their minds on things. sometimes some people arent even at a point of their life to be open minded and listen. which, im not gonna stress myself out to correct someone else. Even i had a point in my life where i was so hardheaded and full of hate (it was a weird cringe culture group i was in and didnt think for myself and honestly i caused a lot of damage in that time of my life and even now I regret it. But man thats life. And like if i try to correct and if they dont listen i go okay and dip after a point (which, for you. is prob gonna be here. cause im gonna say all my thoughts here and be done with this conversation honestly also work is suuuuuper busy rn like fr wish me luck w this summer season sobs) theres a part of me that hopes you will either see reason with this reply and chill out or you will continue to disagree with me but at least for both of our sanity stop messaging me either way i wont be replying again to you just so you are aware
now im just gonna be so fucking blunt here. do i believe endo is a thing? (ie: people can be systems without trauma) honestly? i dont know! here is how i see it; im not a medical professional. I have an interest in psychology i have a copy of the dsm5 cause im a nerd (its with my law books. again. im a nerd.) but im no scientist. at the same time; i dont really trust medical professionals all that much? i would like to. really i would. but it always feels like so many of them dont take the time to actually try with diagnosis. too many people of color or fat people and shit like that always say that they are constantly misdiagnosed or ignored due to predigests. again, because i was born a girl i was never diagnosed properly when i was a kid. this happened twice actually! and even then ive had to deal with doctors and therapists who dont believe me even WITH a formal diagnosis to my name. ive had a therapist tell me that i DIDNT have bpd because i was, in her words, "too nice" and she refused to start me on cbd insisting the doctor was wrong. its scary as fuck honestly. plus, like i said in the last post, mental health is so under researched. which is also so scary to me. theres so much that doctors dont know. that WE dont know. theres so much that doctors get wrong. sometimes cause theyre only human and sometimes cause they willfully ignore patients.
so, the way i see it, is that maybe you can have a system without trauma or maybe you cant. i dont know personally and where i stand i dont know how much credit i would put to research done on a mental disability that is still to this day so disgustingly stigmatized and viewed as dangerous or scary. ive seen split. i know david haller (i like david haller but also every time i think about the live action show or how they really treat him as a character i sob in my little heart every fuckin day man fr) so to me i chalk it up to 'fuck if i know' and move on.
The other thing is that since i personally am not an endo in my head i also have no evidence to form a hard opinion on this at all. Again, my system DID come from trauma. In fact, for most of the system mates i can pinpoint exactly which traumas and/or parts of my life they came from (some i dont but i am also pretty sure im missing a very large chunk of my middle school memories so who the fuck knows) but honestly. if you have a hard opinion on the yes or no here thats fine youre intitled to your own opinion ig
but you shouldnt harass people on the internet or accuse them of being fake. this is what my problem is with anti-endos.
This has also been my like, whole side of this conversation. Which is why im really begging you to listen and read my words cause i very much think you are reading me wrong here. I literally couldnt give less of a shit about your personal opinion on this kinda stuff. Like i dont know you were not friends you’re a random anon on the internet. You disagreeing with me does not phase me one bit. I clearly have stuff to say but thats just cause i talk a lot and like to share my thoughts more than anything else. Honestly. You can send me a like one sentence question and ill accidentally reply with an essay. Have you SEEN the rants ive been on lmaooo
What does frustrate me, is that you feel the need to harass people and accuse people of faking stuff for attention with NO fucking thought. When you sent your first anon i can only assume its cause i reblogged my friend Wendy’s post about endos and syscourse (i hate syscourse so much but MAN that is a good fucking play on words it almost makes me mad lol) you asked if i had did/osdd and i said yes and you IMMEDIATELY went into my asks and accused me of being 1) an endo and 2) faking for attention despite that neither of those can be inferred by my answer especially when i 1) never once said I WAS endo personally (because. Again. Not) and 2) i specifically explained in my first response (thinking u were just a good natured random) that while, yes, i am a system, i dont talk about it very openly or much at all only vaguely mentioning it here n there on my personal blog when i feel the need or want on a specific topic (like when i made a joke post about being a system and watching RvB and the Meta who is this character that has a buncha AI crammed in his head). If anything, it makes you more fuckin wrong cause me NOT mentioning being a system almost ever shows more to the light that im NOT focusing on wanting attention or shit like that if anything i think i make more jokes about being autistic and trans. Are you gonna accuse me of being fake trans and fake autistic just for attention? Because i talk about it more? No, cause that would make like zero sense. (Unless u want to ig tho honestly i think being called a fake trans would be so funny as anon hate like genuinely that would make me snort i think. Guy who uses he/him and openly talks about having periods and shit like that accused as fake trans rguireghrhuigr)
To me, at least, you have already proven that your ideology is flawed. Your method of pointing out ‘fakes’ and ‘attention seekers’ is just really nonsensical. Either that or you do honestly have the reading comprehension of a five year old. The oooonly reason i could maaaaaybe see you thinking im ‘attention seeking’ is when I vaguely mentioned in the tags of that first post that I had a system specific blog however i also 1) do not advertise it nor did i put the name of it on that post OR ask you to follow it and 2) admitted that its barely ever used. Again, still making no sense to your accusation
And like, honestly, at the end of the day, accusing people you dont know on the internet just by random posts they post or terminology they identify with for being fake is just so, in your own words, gross. You dont know these people’s lives. You dont know what they’ve been through. Again, completely ignoring whether you can or cannot have system without trauma my original long response talked about how the person identifying as endo might actually have trauma and not know/recognize it as such and by harassing them you are only making everything worse for them. You LITERALLY do not know these people. You dont know me and you made that very clear when you were so crushingly wrong about me by literally just the second anon you sent.
As someone who deals with the anxiety and fear that i am secretly a fake and dont know it, not just about being a system but like. A SHIT ton of stuff in my life, it does not help when random fucking people come accusing me of that exact fear. Going back to that therapist who tried to tell me she didnt think i had bpd it took me SO FUCKING LONG to accept i did in fact have bpd after that. And it was fucking painful to deal with mentally. When every sign in the motherfucking book pointed to YES i have this thing but all it took was ONE woman with a degree to tell me i was ‘too nice’ and suddenly my world fell apart. I no longer felt like i had a name to the feelings and thoughts i was suffering from. Dude that shit SUCKS it is SO painful and stressful. Like literally, please, for the love of all that is holy, do not inflict that on others. You might think youre bringing justice in some weird way but theres a higher chance that you are hurting people just as much as you seem to think endos cause hurt.
Now, because i know you SO DESPERATELY wanna know my opinion on the post you sent in the unanswered ask, honestly? I dont know how much i agree with that persons post. Like. Playing in the field of maybe that was an honest to god opinion and not just like a joke they were making, really not sure how i feel about it. In my opinion, i wouldn’t be running around trying to get my brain to spawn in more little fuckers to deal with. But i also have a lot of mixed feelings about being a system and my headmates. For one i dont get along with all of them, and not all of them get along with each other. Shits really annoying and in some extreme cases stressful as fuck. Every time something new pops into existence, I’ll be real, im kinda scared. I dont know how things will once again change or shift. And my head is just a single head. Its one brain that now has to deal with so much going on i get a lot of headaches and dissociate sometimes even in the middle of doing things or talking to people cause shit will just randomly become chaos (tho im sure other mental things attribute to all that too here n there idk) but I wouldn’t say i hate being a system. I also dont think id ever wanna do that like fuse therapy shit and get rid of the others. Both out of a fear of losing myself and a fear of losing some of them. That shit sounds kinda scary to me. And where, yeah theres some that i dont get along with, there are others that i do get along with! And love a lot! I jokingly call some of them my siblings cause a lot of them have been around since i was a little kid (tho ill admit for a while I thought i just had a REALLY strong imagination and that for some reason my imaginary friends kept talking to me even as an adult till i finally realized hm. Maybe this is not the case. Lol) so like ya you’ll never see me honest to god saying ‘man i wish i had MORE random bastards in my head’ but like, thats just me
I’ve met so many systems and a lot of them are different. I’ve met some that WANT to fuse (i dont think thats the word they use for that therapy but i just got home from a stressful 8 hours on The Grind so I can’t think words all too well lol) ive met people that LOVE being a system people who hate it people who are pretty indifferent to it. I’ve met systems who are have a different person fronting every day ive met systems where you almost never see or hear from the others and its just primarily the host that takes charge. So many different people feel differently about the same things. That’s just life. But I am not gonna use ONE post randomly shown to me to 1) make an assumption on someone (especially something as harmful as faking) or 2) as a valid reason to harass them. Especially not when the person showing the post to me has only acted hostile towards me. Like honestly. Genuine tip here, being rude and mean to people is not how you try to change their minds or try to educate them on something. Walking into my house and telling me im the fake hedgehog just cause of one post and one answered ask and then trying to tell me im wrong is like so not the way my guy fr
I’m pretty sure ive said my entire peace on the matter here. So yeah, again if you send me any more anons i wont be answering them. I’m saying this just to try and save you some time and also some peace of mind. Honestly, please block me. Please forget my existence and go live your life. Its honestly worrying how you have now spent like two days in my anons about this shit, like i am not even joking like the joke is over please please please finish reading this, block me, and go watch one of your favorite comfort movies and smile i mean this so seriously
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my interesting awesome coworker who lore dropped to me yesterday for 3 hours while on a work call
im not bullshitting or anything but unfortunately she is schizophrenic. like no joke type beat and its ok. she literally said she sees ghosts and feels them touching her inappropriately at night during our WORK CALL and i was just like. Shocked because 1. i was fully believing her and 2. we're supposed to be working rn and 3. it was too much bc she said multiple genuinely insane shit during the call like full on lore drop and i was supposed to keep up with it. just to name a few of what i remember because i need to forget this as much as i can because i lowkey sensed low vibrations and might have fucked something up spiritual wise for myself from this conversation because it kinda freaked me out:
she is convinced her husband of 12 years was paid to be her husband and to ruin her life/ kill her
she is convinced her husband is poisoning her bc ever since she started eating whatever he gave her, she started feeling dizzy and started losing weight
she told me there are >100 people in India stalking her and trying to kill her and her brother
she told me these people killed her mother and father
she is convinced her brother's wife was also paid to ruin his life and is actively torturing his 2 children in order to kill them
she told me her entire house is bugged
her car is bugged
she told me her office is the only "safe place" to talk because theres no hidden cameras in there
she told me she saw 3 angels hovering over her in a video of her sleeping at night
she told me her husband has explicit pictures of over 20000 females on his phone (aka cheating on her)
man i could go on but i dont wanna think about it. she started crying too and i was like damn what is my life rn i was comforting her as much as i can and i kept thinking wow her life is living hell because i was genuinely believing every word she said. but after thinking abt this interaction a bit more, maybe shes going thru smt personally bc how are you mentally sane enough to endure all this and not kill urself like it was just insaaaane u guys. she just kept talking about suspicious encounters with every single person she talked with in person whether its at the supermarket or a phone service company and they would all try to scam her or hurt her. idk man. shit just wasnt clicking but i understood whats happening at the end. damn im fr that coworker ppl just vent to omg 😭 iwas like omg damn ma im just an intern like
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Yap sheet live and in color pt 2!! Um ily this is so fun im actually having such a good week and the fact that U updated also just makes it even better 🫶🫶🫶 also i think to maybe see if it doesn't make the ask so super long on like feeds imma try this with no spaces between maybe idk
1.) This is literally from the tags i haven't even started reading, but hurt,,, some comfort??? UGH okay off i go
2.) WAIT THE OTHER SHOE THING IS SO FUCKING BRILLIANT ONION WTF
3.) Lowk forgot i was doing this for a sec bc im waiting for water to boil cause im making dinner rn BUT OH BOY DID THIS BRING IT BACK FOR ME
CARMY CALLING RICHIE A DEAD BEAT MAN ILL BEAT UP THAT LITTLE RAT BOY i love him so much it hurts but ill kick his ass fr like just bc ur hurting doesnt mean u make everyone else hurt (even tho thats how he was raised :< anyways thats 1 L for carm major L
4.) YEAHH RICH FUCKING SPEAK ON IT SPEAK ON ITTTT oh uh oh not tony catching strays rip us. Double uh oh coming from carmy. Also carmy thats another L don't do richie like that :<
5.) I fucking love you :< AND THEN FOR HIM TO SAY RICHIE IS NOTHING LIKE FUCK RIGHT AWF L MAJOR L
6.) Yk what this chapter is going to be endless Ls for carm i can already tell but :< the whole oh are you gonna fix him too?? Like I can just feel and see like the hurt radiating off of him thru the screen like he's clearly so affected by all the stuff he saw but :< thats still not an excuse CARMEN
7.)The fact that Tony feels like she needs to prove herself, that she can take it, makes me very :<
8.) Also like I'm intrigued bc it almost feels like more than Tony just not charging them for the services out of like the goodness of her own heart or guilt over not being there for mikey like i originally thought like theres something else going on there i am ✨️confused✨️
9.) Noooo not Tony thinking she did something wrong :<<<
10.) i fear im going to jump off a bridge at this rate bc WAAAAAAA carmy is obviously so upset and he CLEARLY doesnt know how to handle that he IS SO ME
11.) MAJOR L MAJOR L
carmy im coming for you count your days that was so uncalled for Carmen what the FUCK onion im coming for u bc I just know I would be sobbing on the floor if carmen said that to me like especially bc Tony very obviously blames herself already :<
12.) Okay my noodles are done so BUT im mildly confused is all this carmy pov happening right after he yelled actually i just glanced back and yes it is and i will say i am glad carmy is at least A LITTLE self aware and that he's completely off the rails anyway
13.) :< i want my comfort neow right neow onion this is making me so sad (im on like point 7) also verbal confirmation that tony is crying like this isnt even a carmy specific L this is just an L
14.) Carmy just major self loathing makes me sad like yes he did this to himself but also like this is just the only way hes ever been shown how to express himself and ugh this better end with him going to therapy (i know it wont)
15.) Um so i read all of tonys thing just now i think uh anyway im gonna kms now tony thinks he hates her :< i really want my comfort now
16.) I know carmy doesnt deserve comfort but also i think he does a little is that too much to ask for
17.) Also the whole heart to heart with Richie makes me so :< i dont have a lot of coherent notes to write except for :< like im very :< right now
18.) Also i LOVE that tony is going to go to the fucking eras tour with richie and eva i LOVE that anyway um ACK ACK ACK
19.) ALSO ALSO ALSO like UGHHHH richie telling tony its not her fault mikey died and them commiserating is so fucking AGH
20.) STOP THE BANTER wait pause
21.) firstly um tony STILL looking out for carmy warms my heart thats fucking cold bc u KILLED ME anyway
22.) Right. UGHHHHH the banter has me just a touch :> bc like syd and tony dogging on richie is so :>. But overall im still :<.
23.) Stop not mikey thinking that tony and carmy would be a good match :< also like i feel like that *kinda* confirms that tony and mikey didnt have a thing bc why tf would he say that if they ever did but anyway
ONION TONY AND CARMY BETTER FUCKING TALK IN THE NEXT ONE IM SO FUCKING SERIOUS
As always i adore you and your writing even if i almost sobbed reading this one there were actual tears in my eyes and i never ever ever cry reading stuff or consuming media so fuck you so hard for that one
🫶🫶🫶 till next time pookie
LETS. GET. INTO ITTT.. Yap Sheet from Just Dropped, I'm excited to hear your thoughts on Something to Do!! Unless you already did-- And I'm just real fuckin slow to churn through my inbox.
THE NO SPACES SEEMED TO HAVE WORKED??? I hope that was easy for you, on your end-- If it's not, simply destroy people's pages it's fine we ball.
I did the.... some comfort because I was like... It does definitely hurt-- Comfort wise, it's definitely there, but you just don't really get it from the person you want it from, yknow?
AND THANK YOU-- I was very happy, when I realized the silly other shoe bit I could do. fun hat trick on my part.
DEAD BEAT BROOOO-- I can't remember if I added that or if it was in the original dialogue. I think I added it? I remember needing a transition line, to get into it-- It was like the Carmen equivalent of Richie's okay donna-- WOOF
I'll just do one point, for the Richie side of the fight, as I the writer don't have much to say about it but yeah it was-- Shit was brutal. It was very interesting to look at the freezer fight again with the perspective of Tony in mind and going,,,, huh,,,, they could both be talking to her, in this. The You're Nothing really also-- I wonder if Carmen will ever actually say that to someone, in canon. I don't think he could. But also they might just be saving it for the biggest explosion.
Writing Carmen's dialogue for this was very tough and interesting, for me-- Because like-- With the information he had, I kinda got it. Like yes 100% self-destructive tendencies but also I think I could sympathize with like, essentially him thinking he was basically some sort of manic pixie to be fixed by Tony. He was wrong, but like-- I get the concern. He shoulda voiced it better but I get him.
YEAAHHHH, YEAAHHHH Tony before this chapter for the most part I think only displayed the good/quirky parts about being the anxious helpful hero type, and this chapter and onward I think really got into the genuinely self-destructive behaviours of her thinking she needs to be able to take shit.
There was in fact, something going on there. With the invoice. LMAO. Tony's nice but she understands the power of a dollar
The repeated 'did i do something wrong' across multiple chapters-- Fuckin, in anything 'did i do something wrong' will always fucking get my ass. Like it's just so. It's. I'm, I'm fuckin sweatin just thinking about it. It always hurts.
CARMEN MAJOR L MOMENT ABSOLUTE L.
It's funny that while writing that line, I had always planned for that line to be like, the spinebreaker but I was worried, when I had actually put it to paper, that readers were somehow not gonna think it was that bad. I'm glad everyone thought it was horrifically bad. He fucked up there.
I won't comment much on Carmen's POV because there's some surprises I have in stock, for you, with that-- But I do agree. I think Carmen is typically slow to realize he fucked it-- But when it's something like that and everyone has a volatile reaction-- He's gonna know immediately that it's over.
Here's the thing, I can't show you any lines from the next chapter, because literally every single line is a spoiler for what the chapter is. but I've realized actually I can show you an old draft-- This was from the original list of the seven things.
I took this out, inevitably, but I did really like the idea of like... Realizing that this moment isn't just a now fuck up, it's a forever fuck up.
14. both of those fuckers went right on the self-loathing train. What could we expect from them? Choo choo, mf.
16. I hate to tell you this. He's gonna have a terrible time. I'm not letting that motherfucker catch a break. You'll see what I mean, in time.
17. WHY'S THE HEART TO HEART MAKE YOU FROWN--- I mean I get it but like BITTERSWEET RIGHT? RIGHT? ANYONE?? IS THIS THING ON?? Do you think the writers knew when they wrote season 2 and Richie getting Swift tickets they knew those things were gonna be like 3000 dollars a pop. I feel like they didn't. I like to go back and read this bit, from time to time. I just really like Richie and Chip. Am I a Rich/Chip believer? Honestly. A little bit I think. I have a wandering eye. I think.
21. Tony will always look out for Carm. It's so lame. get UP girl be PETTY-- HAUNT HIS ASS!!! DO A HAUNT!!!!
23. I love that you say kinda. I love that know one trusts me with a slight confirmation. I have poisoned the water mistrust and I love that.
I'M HONOURED TO GET YA MISTY-- MEANS A LOT, I hope you enjoy/enjoyed the next one. Love you fuck you sorry not sorry at all my bad your fault hugs and kisses THANK YOU BYYYYEE
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