#i need to tell someone that but i also dont wanna put that weight on their mind

[not-equippedforthis]

.

[angelanderson]

I really want an Ellabs x reader fic of fem reader really needing comfort bc she's sad/overwhelmed but she tries to hide it from ellabs but obv they notice smth is off, so they tell her they noticed smth is wrong and she kinda breaks down at that, then they comfort her thru it, listening to her problems or insecurities n'stuff <33 Sorry if it's confusing and/or too long, u dont gotta do it but i'd appreciate it tons <33 (Im totally not self projecting)

ur projecting = supported. 🫢 100% sfw/comfort fic but still no men or minors. type of relationship between them is up to u! this ended up a semi- full length fic oops ? enjoy!

sometimes it just feels too hard. being the newest member in jackson means you feel like you have to prove your worth 24/7. and it’s exhausting, really. abby is just so strong, ellie has the best patrol work, and you? you feel… weak. you (falsely) feel like nothing you’ve done has proven you’re worth the space in jackson.

so when monday rolls around, you tell ellie and abby you have plans with someone else so you can just go home and hide. they don’t question that, why would they? tuesday you tell them you wanna go to bed early. okay, fine. but then it’s wednesday, and they’re starting to get that something is going on with you.

the worry starts to kick in wednesday night after maria tells the two women you asked to go home early, citing that you’re not feeling well. abby all but drags ellie to your tiny place immediately after hearing maria’s words. you always tell each other everything. so why didn’t you now?!

it’s easy to know abby and ellie are knocking at your door simply because of the sheer force of it. five minutes you try to pretend you’re not home. you don’t want them to see you in this state; you’ve been ugly crying for two hours now. however, they don’t give up. it’s not like you could expect anything else from them.

“baby, we know you’re home. let us in, yeah? we’re worried about you,” abby shouts out after another two minutes of knocking.

you respond back with a sickly voice from the sofa, “no, go away. ‘m busy.”

you can just feel the attitude enter ellie’s body now. you know how stubborn she can be. “no, we know you’re lying. i will find a way in if you don’t let us in within the next thirty seconds.”

you know she isn’t joking as you move to open the door. the sight of you upon opening the door is not a pretty one— your face is red, covered in tears. ellie takes a deep breath before she pushes in. she won’t let you shut them out anymore. abby shuts the door before them before heading you back onto the sofa with them. each other is on either side of you within the matter of seconds.

as per usual, abby is the first one to break the silence. “oh, honey, what’s going on? we could’ve helped you sooner if we knew.” the way she sounds sad just makes you feel worse.

insecurities once again bubbling over, you do the only thing you can think of: you try to shove abby away. being significantly stronger than you means it didn’t feel like a single thing. however, abby won’t put up with you lashing out right now. she knows you can be their sweet girl even in the toughest of moments.

ellie watches like a hawk as abby grabs both of your wrists to stop you from trying to push her away again. “just because you’re upset doesn’t mean you can act out. are you going to be the big girl i know you are now? or do i need to keep you here?”

the concerned sternness of her voice makes you whimper in reply. fresh tears leak down your face as you try to find the words to explain. “i- i just don’t think i deserve to be here! everyone, especially you two, carry your weight around here! and what do i do? i’m just a stupid girl working in the bar!”

and, well, neither of them could say they were expecting that response. sure, you were newer to Jackson, but so was everyone at one point. you were also one of the most popular Jackson residents— everyone loves the energy you bring to the bar after a long day of work. so it just makes sense that both women are beyond shocked to realize that this is why you’re so down. how could you not know how loved you are here?

as yet another round of tears starts to fall, you feel abby’s big arms quickly pull you into her chest. your body starts to shake with each inhale as you start to sob into abby’s chest. while ellie rushes to rub your back, abby starts to tilt your head up so you can see her.

“angel, angel, no. let’s take some deep breathes and then we’ll all have a talk, okay?”, abby coos as she wipes away the falling tears.

ellie puts your right hand over abby’s heart when your breathing doesn’t start to slow any. she speaks in the softest voice she can muster up,“deep breaths with me and abby, baby. feel abby’s heart beat. we’re all going to just relax together before anything else.”

two minutes between your favorite people is all it takes to reduce you to just sniffles. you slouch back into your seat once you’ve finally caught your breath. you look up at abby and ellie with wet eyes before letting out a long sigh. no one is sure who should speak first.

ellie decides she’ll be the one to start, “it’s not true, you know? everyone here loves you. helping run the bar is important. you create a space where we can all relax for once. emphasis on the relax part.”

abby grunts in agreement with ellie. “you know ellie’s right, don’t you baby,” abby questions before looking over to ellie, “our favorite girl’s always making everyone feel happy, isn’t she?”

“for real though, you really do play a big part here. you know ellie and i started arguing less when you came around? pretty big deal there, you know. even joel commented on it,” the dirty blonde continues on the conversation.

and that makes you giggle for the first time all day. “even joel? really?” while you knew they had a previous history of more frequent fights, you didn’t know even joel was over it back then too.

“yeah, it’s really true,” abby starts before taking a breath to think about her next words. she exhales, “strength isn’t everything, you know? you add just as much as we do here. creating a space where people can relax while we live on this hell on earth is just as important as what we do. we all do the best here because we are better with each other. our system can’t function without others.”

you’re sure you’d be crying tears of happiness right now if you weren’t so exhausted from all your previous crying. your previous anxieties start to slip away as you start to truly internalize both of their words from today. you are important. you matter here. just like everyone else.

no one is given a chance to speak before you’re pulling ellie and yourself on top of abby. “i love you, i love you, i love you both,” you whisper out. “you’re right. i promise i’ll come talk to you next time i’m feeling down, okay? know you’ll make me say that part next!”

“okay smarty pants, you better. also, we always are, darling. love you the most,” teases ellie before she presses a kiss to the back of your head.

“hey! what if i love you both the most? then what?” you’re sure you can feel ellie roll her eyes as abby whines out playfully.

“okay, okay. how about we all love each other the most? can we just agree so i can drink some water now? my head is killing me.” a major post-crying headache has just started to come on for you.

ellie rolls her eyes playful at both of you. “i’ll get us all some water”, she commands as she walks to your kitchen, “and get comfy with abby. we’ll watch a movie, and yes, you can choose today.”

yay! end note to say ur important and i’m glad ur here + love that we all each add our own special things to this earth 🫂

[cumulo-stratus]

BAU autism headcannons

(GIF NOT MINE)

(male reader)

CW: possible swearing, mentions of meltdowns and overstimulation, lemme know if theres anything else!

A/N: sry i havent rly posted in a while, i started a school recently and its been a rly big change for me so ive just been emotionally/mentally exhausted like all the time, but i dont wanna abandon u guys so i decided i would get something up, even if its not super good, thanks for y’all’s understanding <3

i think both JJ and Emily would become sort of mothers to reader

(not that they werent already mothers to the rest of the team but reader especially)

like JJ would totally have a motherly instinct for readers needs (like a sort of spider sense)

like if your ever nervous about something being too much or being overwhelming, jj would kinds know this and either make arrangements for accommodations or make sure you know you dont have to go if you want to.

and like she definitely wold put herself in charge of keeping your safe foods stashed on the jet and at the office

emily is more of a mother in a protective way than jj is

like this girl will not hesitate at all to go off on someone for maybe being disrespected to about stimming your chair while thinking

or like if you dont want to shake a police officers hand when your being introduced, and you get dirty/weird looks for it, or anyone comments on it? BOOM this girl will stare at them with so much animosity they’ll be scared of her shes so hot oml

anyways i thinks he team would be super accepting of you, especially if you joined after reid like they would already have some experience with autism

and like if you weren’t ent comfortable telling anyone other than hotch(i feel like it would be like a in ur file thing idk how the government works tho) spencer would defo be able to tell and confront u privately abt it (our respectful king <3)

and if you are comfortable telling the team, everyone would be respectful

i think like rossi/gideon would be a little clueless but like trying their hardest

like rossi would have no idea what stimming is but understands that like you move in certain ways or make certain noises when ur excited

and like with all his money he wouldnt hesitate to spoil u with any fidget toy u need/want or like a rly nice weighted blanket (its insane how expensive those things are)

and like gideon despite his profound understanding of others (hope yall got that ;)) he wouldn’ t get why sometimes you dont feel like/cant talk but totally respects it

omg garcia is our autism ally QUEEN im telling you

always has a big basket of fidgets/stim toys sitting on her desk and when your having a rough day shell leave you a little goodie in a brightly colored and decorated bag

i firmly believe that she is the queen at finding brands with clothes that not only fits your style perfectly but is also sensory friendly

i think she would definitely say that if she never ended up working in the FBI she wouldve started a clothing shop for sensory friendly clothing/accessories

spencer would totallllyyyy be your best friend when it comes to being under-stimulated

he will totally info dump on you and vice-versa

spencer (like penlope) would totally recommend clothing brands that are sensory friendly, but sock brands in particular

and everyone makes fun of you for nerding out over everything

also spencer would definitely get in the habit of grabbing your hands in his when you start to pick a t your nails and cuticles

like he didnt even realize what he was doing the first time but now he does it without thinking about it and for the team its normal

“hey,” and he would gently grab your hands to stop you from picking at them

“sorry..”

”youve nothing to be sorry for” (with that little reid smile oml rf[osifjgturhv)

and i also firmly believe that morgan is the best people to go to if your having a meltdown

he would stop you from harmfully stimming

“hey sugar, unclench those pretty little hands for me. there we go… good job kid.” he would have the softest smile and voice

and when he takes your hands to stop you from hitting yourself his grip is rly firm but gentle

but hotch is the best to go to for when your overstimulated

like he would make sure you know his office is always a quiet place you can go to with out questions

and he would secretly have a stash of like stimm toys in his office that he stole from garcia

his couch is always open to you, especially like late at night if you are really tired his fatherly instincts will kick in and force you to come to his office for a break

he would would hand you and blanket and a stim toy

”sit. sleep”

thats all he would say in his cute little stern but actually caring voice <3

[soul-eclectic]

Have you already shared your alonzostrap headcanons? Also do you have any fic recs with them?

i have not !!! lemme run through em rq ehehe

there will be a LOOTTT under the cut....so for everyones sake, here is this small doodle of them:D feel free to scroll past if you dont wanna read my rambling

i think that alonzo is a very heavy sleeper, and munkustrap is NOT. i feel like alonzo would toss and turn and snore real loud, and munkustrap is just curled into a ball snoozing quietly... when he wakes up, which is earlier than it should be, the only thing keeping him from getting up is alonzos dead weight. alonzo would totally sleep for 12 hours at a time, and munk would only get a solid 6 lolll ((it was also SUCH a learning curve for him to tune out alonzos snoring))

alonzo, whos usually always showing off or restraining his emotions to seem Cool, really allows himself to let all of that go with munk! he is very comfortable putting his bravado away for a time. he knows that munk doesnt see him as someone who needs protection, which makes him feel more sincerely confident:) one of alonzos words is "uncertain" so i play into that a loott for them

meanwhile, munkustrap feels very protected with lonz...i wouldnt say he sees him just as a shoulder to lean on, but where alonzo was a street cat who Knows His Stuff, munk kind of lets the reigns go. he does NOT usually like being taken care of by any means but he is comfortable letting alonzo do so! he still struggles to communicate his needs though, i think. the only reason alonzo can usually tell is just because being near eachother is second nature

though i think when they met, alonzo disliked munkustrap just as much as he disliked every other stranger cat he met on the streets. he could tolerate him being around, but he didnt really have friends so he was under the assumption that munk would tire of alonzos one word responses eventually, and leave. also, alonzo was and still is very much the "i dont need help" type lol

meanwhile munkustrap was absolutely ecstatic to find another cat his age that he didnt already know!! he reeeaally wanted to get to know alonzo, and maybe show him the junkyard one day for fun. sooo imagine munks suprise when alonzo shows up to the junkyard one day after a bad run in with macavity

he offers alonzo his own sort of guest den, but is even MORE shocked when alonzo asks to stay with him in his den.!!!!

long story short....they were roommates....unfortunately nothing happened for a very long time because alonzo didnt think munk liked him like that, and vise versa. it happened veeerry slowly, with more touchiness and words of affection...i think they had a "what are we" phase

uuuhhh heres a thing. first 2 panels are earlier in the timeline if it wasnt obvious by munks collarlessness !!! also gus. hiii gus

my fic recs...hmmm...im gonna have to go with

- Did It Hurt when You Fell From Heaven? by OnTheFritz

- Moments of Happiness by OnTheFritz (again)

- Sick Days by OnTheFritz (sorryy, they made a lottt of the alonzostrap stuff on the tag)

- A Pattern of Timeless Moments by Immasari

i cannot find my most favorite one for some reason...this is so sad idk where it went

[shiopi]

Soft

pairing: dazai osamu x fem insecure reader

a/n: just had a small idea bcuz my mind has been full of my lil pookie and i love soft dazai<333 this is really self indulgent. not proofread im lazy.

SFW part

Dazai is literally the best person at comforting you. when he first notices youre insecure, he will literally be so shocked because youre so pretty and beautiful! how could you not notice that about yourself? he thinks youre joking at first honestly because in his eyes, you are literally the most gorgeous being ever, no one could compare to you.

he will kiss every part of you while holding you close in his arms. he will whisper sweet nothings into your ear telling you how wonderful you are with a breathy and low voice. "Bella...youre so pretty and cute...ah look at how much of a blushing mess you are for me. youre truly so adorable and pretty. i love every part of you. your body and existence in itself is pure art, darling..mm what a sweet and good girl you are.."

if youre feeling extra sad about it one day, he will literally go and buy all your favorite snacks and flowers. he may not have a lot of money but for you, he will do anything. and that includes postponing his plan to buy more bandages. he bursts the bedroom door open with his hair stuck to his forehead and him a panting mess from running from the shop to the house to give you these treats. he just wanted to surprise you and make you happy and all smiley again that he couldnt contain himself! his hands are full with a bouquet and multiple bags hanging from his hand all full of your favorite snacks.

oh? you dont want to eat them because they will add to your weight? he will assure you multiple times that you are beautiful just the way you are and eating just a few snacks wont do any harm. if you still deny them, then he will offer to go to gym or work out at home together to burn the calories if you want to. although, he thinks you dont need to do anything because youre perfect the way you are but anything to make his love feel better!

NSFW part MINORS DNI

warnings under cut

contains: soft dazai, soft sex to slightly rough, oral sex (reader receiving), mentions of scars and stretch marks, bunch of kisses, body worship, aftercare. lmk if i missed anything

Sex with Dazai is always warm and sweet. he makes sure youre comfortable with whatever you two are doing, he absolutely doesnt wanna force you into anything or having to go along with him because you would feel bad denying him. your pleasure is what matters the most to him.

when you attempt to cover any part of yourself in embarrassment with your hands because you dont wanna show him the sides you claim to be ugly, he will smile softly with a sigh and kiss you softly before pulling your hand away gently. "Bella, you dont need to hide anything about yourself. youre so beautiful, theres not a single ugly thing about your body. youre perfect, my love. please let me see all of you? dont be afraid, you should learn to accept yourself. i love you just the way you are"

to show he means his words, he will also take off his bandages and show his scars that he might have to you. he will even let you touch them if you want to.

his words are so gentle and sweet. he handles you with utmost care as if youre so fragile to him. hes afraid you will break if he even slightly treats you roughly. "ah, youre so pretty, sweetheart. mm...look at how wet you are for me...let me have a taste baby. youre so cute..ill be gentle, i promise."

his thrusts are gentle but also a bit rough, a lot of thought and care are put into behind them. he doesnt wanna hurt you. he wants you to have a good time. he will kiss any stretch marks, scars (if you have) you have. his lips are so gentle and sweet. he does this while still thrusting into you. he will hold onto your hands tightly as if to say hes here for you, that he will never leave you. "youre doing so well for me, love..ahh~ you feel so good..oh god, what did i ever do to deserve someone so wonderful as you? i love you so much.."

he isnt afraid to hide his moans, he wants to let you know just how good youre making him feel and bcuz hes just a slut. he will thrust into you gently at first but later on he finds himself so lost in the pleasure that he will start picking up the pace a lot more while murmuring soft apologies. "ah! ah...mm...im so sorry, bella...haah...i cant handle it, you feel so good. can i go a bit faster? am i hurting you? im so sorry, ahh~"

hes so skilled, he will bring you to an earthshattering orgasm. his movements are so precise but also gentle, lord knows how he does it. he continues to thrust in a bit more after you finish to help you ride it out. he cums balls deep inside you, filling you up with his warm seed.

after you two finish, he will get you a towel to wipe your sweat off and get you some water as well. expect a lot of cuddles and kisses all over your body because man loves you so much and is completely head over heels for you. he wants you to know how much of an effect you have on his life, in a good way of course. he cups your face in his hands, planting sweet kisses all over your face. from your forehead to your nose, your cheeks, the corner of your mouth and your lips.

his lips trail down to your breasts, kissing them softly. he doesnt forget to give your thighs some love as well, which may or may not potentially turn to him eating you out. he wants to make sure you know how loved and beautiful you are as he worships every part of you. "i love you so much, bella. you did so well for me. you deserve everything in this world...i will protect you. i love everything about you, sweetheart. your body is so lovely"

overall, he will treat you like an absolute queen and is a 10/10 boyfie. not a single red flag<3

[lostonmari]

SUCCESS #2 - November

Success #2 -- Everything I manifested in November

November is when I started this blog, and also ACTUALLY started applying all of the things I learned started taking affirming and thinking in my favor seriously instead of just sporadically manifesting random things here and there because I was too lazy to put in the work. I never had issues w wavering, but I was just inconsistent as fuck (Hell, I'm still inconsistent with posting on my own damn blog, yall can't possibly think I'm consistent with affirming!) So here's everything I manifested…

Manifested back my old bestfriend/ex-gf after 4 years no contact She came back, apologized for mistreating me and told me basically everything I affirmed for LMAO. and that's one of the things that gave me faith in the law because ik this girl would rather die than ever apologize to someone. Now that she's back I'm manifesting away her friends and leaving her broke down and in shambles because I'm evil and believe in revenge. yall dont know the type of bullsh*t this woman put me through. Idc if everyone is you pushed out, some people don't deserve forgiveness 🤓

My mom is walking again I successfully revised her shattered ankle without the weeks of recovery time the doctors "thought" she needed. She's literally walking around just fine now and doesn't need to wear her cast or whatever that big bulky thing was.

Manifested my brother out of jail on a time crunch Now I'm not sharing my family's whole drama online but… yea. he's out.

No more social anxiety, cured one of my mental health issues I don't wanna trauma dump or go into too much detail about my life but, yes. for anyone also working on mental health, it can be done and you won't regret trying. Life actually feels like it has meaning now and for once in all my years of life, I can actually say that I'm happy. 💗

Stopped nail biting COMPLETELY! I used to struggle with nail biting for YEARSSS whether it was out of stress, anxiety, whatever the fuck. but now it's completely gone. my nails are no longer STUBS, like theyre actually long and healthy. I didn't even affirm for this so I kinda think it came with improving my mental health since I didn't really have the issues that *triggered* nail biting anymore yk?. I'm actually the happiest about this result like yall don't understand how long I've wanted the natural french tips look 💀

[TW: Discussion of binging, discussion of food]

6. WL + Maintained weight loss! I literally changed my entire way of viewing food, and subsequently fixed my lose->gain->lose-> gain again cycle. Ever since learning LOAss If I binged I would be like: I just have a fast metabolism so that's why I'm so hungry my body is burning everything I eat so fast! and I would also tell myself calories don't matter because food is only energy. Basically, reminding myself of what Abdullah told Neville: "If you ate as I did, you would be poisoned because of your belief." (heavily paraphrased because my memory is terrible.. yes I'm working on it 😭) and it keeps me from feeling guilty abt eating. I ate SOOO MUCH food yesterday and I mean SO MUCH. I ate an entire box of cheese sticks, two large chicken sandwiches, 2 pb & j sandwiches total throughout the day, and half a tub of icecream for dessert… Yeah I was going crazy.. to the point I looked 5 months pregnant at the end of the night. Fast forward to today, my stomach is back to flat and back to normal as if it never happened. Food literally will not effect you if you believe it doesn't! This was my main focus too so I'm very proud of myself :)

Moral of the story is, never give up.

YOU decide what happens in your reality and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. There were times when I didn't want to affirm, so I didn't. If I felt lazy then I didn't consciously affirm or listen to subliminals, I just relaxed and went on about my day. I never made affirming feel like a chore. There were times when I had doubts too or thought it wouldn't work. I especially thought it wouldn't work for my mental health but I just affirmed anyway. When you're having resistance literally just know there's nothing bad that can possibly happen from believing in yourself and thinking in your favor. Just DO IT. Persist no matter what and you WILL get what you want!

I'll try to do better with posting my successes (but only ones that actually meant something big to me tbh. I don't see a point in sharing every little thing unless it was me overcoming some type of struggle) and answering messages but I refuse to download the tumblr app so yall just gotta see and hear from me whenever I feel like loading up this website. I'm just enjoying & living my life rn girl I used to dream about times like this and now I finally have them 😭

[xglassx]

Celestial toymaker x reader

♤♡◇♧

I sat outside the toyshop scrolling through my phone.you told your boyfriend that you head started to hurt so you went outside to get some air.he nodded his head and gave you a soft smile before going back to what he was doing.

He had become a lot less cautions of what you where doing he trusted you to fo out on your own. Well,it took a lot of persuading but you final was allowed to go out. Mostly to go to your house and get your things and he forced you to tell your parents that you where in a relationship and where moving in with your boyfriend.

You parents where so happy but also up set.it was so sudden,you where gone for weeks then suddenly you show up again with a boyfriend who you just ment. And you where already moving in with him.it worried you parents and they swiftly wanted to confront this man who seemed to be a bit older according to your words. You swayed them no too because you didn't want anything to happen to them. Knowing the toymaker would not be happy with them.

You just tried to keep him happy and it seemed to work.as you head rested on the red brick wall listening to cars driving past you and foot steps of people walking past-"hey,you lost?" You tilted your head up.the sun glaring down on your face as you raised a hand to cover your eyes to get a better look at this stranger. He was tall around 5,11 maybe hard to tell with blond short hair that had a sort of bounce to it along with loose baggy clothes. He reminded you of a golden retriever in the way he looked and how he smiled down at you.

"No thanks I am alright" you waved him off before looking back to your phone assuming he would just go away on his own after hearing your response or he would get the hint. "Are you sure?" He tilted his head and offered a hand to you "it's okay to ask for help.i am not going to bite" there it was again that same sweet smile. You eye brows raised as you ignored his hand slowly resting your hand on the floor to.push yourself up into both feet."like I said,I am okay I live round here" you rested your back against the wall hoping the now change in beight from you being on the floor to now standing up would make you seem less lost and confused. "Are you sure I have never seen you around" He asked as he sheepishly put his hand down to rest at his side. He had this sort of happiness to him that made he seem sweet but nervous at the same time when he talked to you.

"Ugh yeah,I just moved in" you Made a subtle gesture towards the small shops gentral direction."do you need someone to show you around?" He said as he shifted his weight onto opposing feet."um,no thanks I know the place quite well but that was sweet of you" He seemed to smile when you absentmindedly called him sweet. "Maybe we should go out sime time? I am free tonight if you wanna-" "no thanks I got a boyfriend" you where quick to cut him off nor wanting anything to do with this conversation anymore."then why where you leading me on like that,all you woman are the same" I gave my a disgusting look "exusme,I didn't lead you on" He got closer to me "yes you did come on just one date I can make you change your mind" I took a small shuffle to the side to try avoid being backed against the wall "yeah no,go away I am done talking to you" He reached out and grabbed my for arm "dont walk away from me" He started to rase his voice.

I gave him as hard look before tugging my arm out of his grip. It clearly surprised him as he went to grab my arm again but having to step back in surprise when someone stood right in between the two of us."is zis man bothering you ,Schatz" I looked up at the toymaker as ge grabbed my hand softly bring it up to his lips kissing it possibly trying to calm down. "Umm...." I glanced at the man that stood behind the toymaker feeling guilty for him "no,let's just go inside" you tugged his hand over to the shop leaving the man standing angry "hey the fuck! Are you her boyfriend! I could easily take you"

You turned over to the man with a smile "exuase me how about you leave us the fuck alone" you said with a sickly sweet smile. But your face dropped when the toymaker let go off your hand "vhy don't you go inside Mein Liebling I vont to have a vord with zis vyoung boy" you eyes locked with the toymaker knowing better then to argure I nodded my head and walked back into the shop. I heard the small bell shine as I sighed looking around,"fuck me this place is just so creepy sometimes" you rubbed the back of your neck and sighed as you hopped over the counter and went to pull over to door.

The second you do the toymaker was standing right there casuing you to stumble back "I vont think vats a very gnice ring to say you will hurts vere feeling" the toymaker said with a smiled as he held out a doll in his hands.it looked awfully like...."really did you have to? I mean,yes he did push his luck but-" I looked up into his eyes and the look he game me told that he was going me a warning. "Sorry" you casted my eyes to the floor as he lifted my eyes to look up at him."dont vou ever apologies Meine Liebe" he kissed your forhead and brung me into a tight hug,hand resting in your back and one on the back of your head pressing me into he rest as he wayed. Hiding you face from the world

[couchie]

as an on-and-off elbow crutch user, lemme tell yall abt my experiences

it got kinda long so im putting it in the read-more

it slows you down

especially in stairs, you have to put both your feet in one step to go to the next. that means it takes me twice the time to go up or down stairs than an abled bodied person, and that is when they're not speeding

you really cant speed much, be it on flat road or on stairs. it doesnt speed u up much and the only thing that happens is you get tired from using so much effort

people having to wait for you makes you self-conscious, even if they are understanding about it

carrying anything is a nightmare. backpacks can throw your balance off. you cannot hang a bag on the handles of your crutches cause you have to LIFT those bitches. and if you're only using one crutch, carrying the bag in the empty hand also throws you off balance

you only have a maximum of one hand available at all times

you need people to get out of the way. you need more moving space and standing space for moving with crutches

the crutches make your hands sore. you're carrying your weight with them after all. you can need to take a moment to rest only to soothe your palms, even if your legs arent tired

sitting is always a hassle with leg injuries, and that becomes a bigger mess when you need to also find a non-obstructive place to put your crutches to. they need to be easily accessible to you

standing up is also very hard. it depends on what your disabilities are but the faster you find a way to comfortably stand up, the better

people *will* try and take your crutches. Do Not do that. i dont care if you're fascinated by them or if you wanna play around and swing urself or if u wanna hold onto them while i sit. unless i explicitly ask you to, do Not take my crutches. and if you do, don't set it down anywhere, hand it off to somebody else, or leave it somewhere i cant get to. wait for further instructions. do i want you to put them at somewhere specific? do i want you to give them back to me? do what i want you to with them, nothing more and nothing less

people get curious and it gets really tiring to answer the same questions. i dont owe you an explanation and i dont want your curiosity or your pity

yes it's real sad that your distant relative also had one accident so they had to use crutches too. yeah there are canes and underarm crutches and wheelchairs but this is what i am using. yes people may need them for different reasons and it's not your place to judge or question it. can i please keep walking?

crutches get dirty from being used everywhere and the handles sweaty from your palms and they need cleaning

you will get looks no matter what aid you are using

idk if it's just me but going downhill is very hard with crutches. uphill too but when it's downhill i'm also afraid of falling and rolling downhill 😭

getting in and out of cars is a hassle. btw, for safety, you should put your crutches on the ground under your feet

acquiring a shower stool might just be what you need. also get non-slip plastic rugs to lay on the bathtub/shower floor. getting someone to help you shower isnt shameful

if you drop something, woe is you. where do you put your crutches? how do you crouch to get them? the best thing to do, in that case, is to ask for help. people wont mind, believe me. and if you're alone, be careful and take your time

creaky crutches are the worst💔💔

being able to walk without crutches doesnt mean ur faking. not having more pain without crutches doesnt mean ur faking. stop being so hard on yourself

it's not our duty to educate people. if you're so curious go do a basic google search before questioning me. because, consider how many times i get the same questions in the same day

seeing another mobility aid user brings a sense of belonging and you bring the same feeling to people without visible disabilities

be unapologetically yourself. take up space. dont be sorry for needing aid

take care. i love you 🫶

[rainiishowers]

Hey! Saw ur requests are open so I was wondering.

So in the middle of the night, the demon bros hear a knock on their door, so they open it, to see MC crying. They ask what's wrong and the reason is rlly stupid. Like, "Someone ate my favourite biscuit!" Or smth else rlly dumb.

How would the bros react? (Also gn reader and second person pov, thanks. Also, love ur works! Keep it upand dont stress urself. )

I love these sorts of request and ty for the message <3 I tried to make these more so just not normal reasons for crying, but just wanna say that crying is okay  ---- Lucifer

He was working late as he normally does when he hears knocking, one he soon gathers to be yours

Luci sighs, wondering what would be keeping you up at this time of night, as he went to open it

When he opens the door to you crying, he is equally concerned and confused, as he lets you into his office

“MC.. What happened?”

“I was.. *sniff* Watching a sad movie before bed but it was too sad..”

A sad movie before bed? 

He lets out a long sigh and leads MC to a chair

“I’ll get you some tea and then you can tell me about it.”

Mammon

He was in his room, hanging out with his crows that flew in through the window, before hearing a knock on the door

Mammon goes to open it and is surprised to see you at the door, crying

“MC? What happened?!”

Obviously, he was really worried, as he gently pulls you in and walks you over to the couch, getting some of the crows attention

“I spilled my drink.. *sniff* on my way home from a cafe trip with Satan..”

He blinks once, twice.

Wanting to cheer you up, he sighs.

“Alright, why don’t we have a movie tonight, yea? Ya can pick it out.”

Leviathan

It was the ungodly hours of the day, where Levi was about to fall asleep from playing games all night

He jolts a bit hearing a knock and tells whoever it was to come in

Levi stops for a second, seeing you peek in, crying

You were crying and he wasn’t the best to deal with that, he might get overwhelmed as well.

“M-MC? What are you doing here?”

“I woke up too early and can’t fall asleep, can I stay here?”

He honestly wasn’t sure why you didn’t go to Belphie for something like this, but then again, he probably won’t be too happy if someone woke him up..

“Uhm.. Sure!”

You sat in a comfy pile of blankets and pillows, still sniffing and still having tears fall

He, somewhat frantically, searches for one of his stress toys

Levi finds it and goes to hand it to you

“I’m gonna.. try to sleep, but if you need anything, just tap me on the shoulder.”

Satan

If there was something he didn’t expect to encounter whilst reorganizing his bookshelf, it was you peeking in crying

He was very worried for you, wondering what could possibly make you upset

“What’s wrong, MC?”

“I slept on my textbook and now it’s so crumpled up I can’t read it!”

Whoo boy he felt that

When he was younger, or more specifically when he had less control over his anger, he would constantly crumple up paper to the point they were unreadable

He sighs and nods in understanding

Satan pauses his book organization and gestures for you to sit on his (thankfully clean) bed

While you do so, he picks out a book and goes to you, getting in a comfy position before opening the book to the page it’s marked at

“We haven’t read this one in a while, shall we continue?”

Asmodeus

He was happily humming, putting on some makeup before hearing a knock

Asmo goes to answer it and gasps when he sees you sniffling and crying

Asessing what to do, he leads you inside and on his bed, frowning

“What happened, darling?”

“I checked *sniff* my laundry from last night, and some of the clothes shrunk..”

He gasps once again as you pull out the now way too small shirt.

Asmo hums in thought before getting an idea

He snatches the shirt and goes to the bathroom

Once he comes out, he’s rocking that shirt, doing all sorts of poses

“You wouldn’t mind me taking this shirt, would you, darling?”

Beelzebub

He was lifting weights in his room when he heard a familiar knock

Beel puts the weights down and goes to open the door

He panics a bit, seeing you crying at his door

Leading you in, he asks what’s wrong

“Someone ate my biscuit that I saved!”

A.. biscuit?

Yea uh..

He might have done that..

“Oh.. That might’ve been me..”

He frowns, like a sad puppy

“I’m so sorry! I’ll get you another!”

Belphegor

When he was barely awake one time in the attic, he heard knocking

Belphie groans and lets out a muffled “who’s there?!”

However, when your voice called out saying it was you, he paid a bit more attention

“Come in..”

You walk in, and it took Belphie a second to realize you were crying

Two thoughts entered his mind

“Who do I need to kill?” and “Are you okay?”

He opted to ask the second one as you sat on the edge of the bed

“My favourite blanket is in the wash..”

Belphie sighs, definitely relating to that

He balls up one of his own blankets and gives it to you

“You can borrow that, just bring it back when you’re done”

You nod, getting up to leave before he grabbed your hand and stopped you

“Oh yea, come to the planetarium later, I wanna show you something”

[hajihiko]

Hello! saw you were doing angst hc's, so whenever you have the time, may I ask for some Akane ones? shes my favourite srd2 chara and I utterly adore how you draw her :]

Yesss. But shes a tragic bitch so be warned alright

(hey! I drafted this ages ago but it disappeared, somehow it's back!)

She didn't super want to go to HPA, but being able to earn enough to support her huge family was way more important than what she felt like. Being the Honour Student of her family is a huge weight though and it's only because she doesn't like think about it that she doesn't stress about it.

Her authority figures have been so goddamn garbage that she was wary of almost all the teachers, in her own seemingly chill way

Akane and Hiko are climbing enthusiast buddies! Akane because (canon) climbing means easier escape from people who wanna hurt her, and it's impossible to catch her once she gets good at it.

Once she gets real close and friendly with her class / the Survivors, she lets them serve themselves food first. She did the same with her little siblings. But if you're not that close with her she's real defensive about food.

Used to do that thing where she smuggles food into her room and hides it, in case she ever needs to scrounge again. Unfortunately it got stinky after a bit, but Teru helped her choose the best non-perishables.

Holds the record for Youngest To See A Dead Person.

Someone- dont remember who- said that she has her extremely good Danger Sense because she had to learn real fast to tell who wanted to help her and who wanted to hurt her. She can't always tell when people are being mean, because who cares, but her gut feeling is amazing at letting her know if someone's about to put her or hers in danger.

She likes fighting, genuinely, like she just thinks it's fun and makes sense. But also, she likes the idea of being an amazing fighter because she likes thinking no one can fuck with her.

This is why ghosts are scary. Can't beat them! Can't fight them at all. Also they just are, especially when you're a kid in a house with weird noises and no lights and no adults to help you sleep.

She was surprised when she and Nekomaru were doing their thing, and she told him to back off / not touch her, and he just. Did? Immediately? And apologized even? Even though he could easily overpower her at that time. Nekomaru is very large and very strong but very kind and gentle and it's confusing but like in a good way.

It's really hard for her to realize how messed up her childhood was. She got so good at Not Thinking About It, and now it's hard to break that habit, nevermind to confront the fact that every available person in her whole life failed her.

That said, she wouldn't take anyone else getting harassed lightly. It's just not a big deal that it happened to *her*, because well, she's so strong and only got stronger! And she's fine now see? So it's no big deal! <- not true, but how she thinks.

She's skipped so many things other people consider basic, like celebrating holidays or having a boyfriend/girlfriend or shopping for school supplies, etc. She's got a lot of practical skills though, but she mostly didn't have a choice with those.

She never really developed much of a fashion sense until much later in life, until then she just dressed how her mom would dress them both (or ... Other men). Turns out she likes athleisure wear and has a much more mature way of dressing than you'd think (like the prom pics!)

[miniteezez]

Jungkook x fem reader

Isolation

Genre: fluff, lockdown, cute

Warning: injuries? Not detailed.

A/n: I'm currently writing a yoongi ff that's gonna be a little longer. These shorter one shots were written in 2021 during lockdown. They were written with other idols in mind also.

Day thirty - six in isolation, I sighed as I made my way out into my balcony. It was currently six pm. Cold out but still beautiful as the sun set over the mountains. Cup of hot tea cupped between my two hands, I took a sip whole staring out at the view. A flock of blackbirds flew over making me smile as they cried out their call. No people were around, obviously all stuck at home, apart from the few people delivering people's weekly food shop. My eyes shut as I took in the air which recently seemed much fresher, easier to breath in. That was due to lack of pollution, the one good thing to come out of all this mess. Hearing the flick of a lighter disturb my peace , I opened my eyes and looked to my left seeing a boy around my age, maybe slightly older, burning a photograph. I didn't know my neighbours as I had just moved to this apartment before lockdown begun, but right now I wish I did. He looked depressed, like something had hit him really hard. Watching the picture burn, he waited till the flames nearly touched his fingers before letting it fall.

"Are you Okay?" My voice was quiet but the boy heard and turned to look at me. Immediately he rubbed his face and cleared his throat.

"Yeah I'm fine." His voice shook indicating the lie he was telling me. Pressing my lips together, I glanced around thinking for a few seconds before looking back at him. It was a stupid idea and also illegal but the good person in me didn't care.

"Do you want to come over?"

"I'm not allowed.. " Sighing at his response I shrugged,

"Well yeah technically but, if we've both been isolating whats the Harm? It looks like you need someone right now." He blinked fast and nod before heading inside and locking the balcony door. Quickly, I went to my front door and opened it seeing him already there with his hand up ready to knock. Stepping aside, I let him in and took him to where my couch was. He sat down and stared at his lap, clearly anxious.

"What's your name? I'm (y/n)." I asked as I too sat beside him, keeping a little distance so I didn't scare him off.

"Jungkook..thanks for inviting me over..I was going crazy alone." He admitted, looking at me grateful, I just smiled.

"Didn't you think to message or Skype with your friends?" His face dropped, eyes watering. Bringing his hands up to rub his eyes, he mumbled.

"I dont have any, not anymore..." figuring this topic was the reason for his sadness, I scooted closer and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Do you wanna rant about it? That will help lift the weight off I promise." Feeling him physically relax against my touch, he nod and took a deep breath in and began.

"I grew up with this guy..and he was the best friend ever. I really loved him like a brother but..just before all this he stole some money from me then pinned all my friends against him saying I'd beat him up.. " tears ran down his cheeks while he took a second to gather himself before continuing, I held his hand which he gripped tight.

"I didn't hurt him..but he..he did hurt me. When I caught him stealing I confronted him so he beat me..still have the cuts..cos he came back last week to try and "sort it out"..he just ended up getting mad." Jungkook put his head down, that's when I saw some of the bruises on his skin.

"I'm really sorry, you don't deserve that." I wrapped my arms around him, gently hugging him. He hugged back, burying his face into my neck for comfort as my hand rubbed his back soothingly. Feeling him wince a few times, I pulled back and looked at him.

"Want me to treat your wounds?"

"Do you know how?" He asked nervously, looking away I replied.

"I've had to treat a few of my own so, yeah." So I got up and lead kook into my bathroom helping him to sit on the edge of the tub. Whilst my back was turned, he slipped his shirt off and placed it next to him. Looking back at him, I could feel my face heating up. He was full of tattoos, once concealed by his shirt. Not expecting that, I ignored it and applied cream to the dark bruises that were dotted around his chest, arms and back. There was a deep cut on his shoulder so I aided it with ointment and placed a large plaster over it.

"You need to change it once a day. Otherwise it will get infected." He pouted and put his shirt back on carefully as I tidied everything away.

"Can you do it for me?"

"You'd have to come round every day." Immediately he smiled and nod standing up.

"Okay I will. It will be fun. Plus we'll both enjoy the company." He beamed making me smile.

A few weeks later, I was laying in bed around two pm just scrolling through my phone. Hearing my door open, I didn't even bother to look knowing who it was.

"Why are you still in bed?" Kooks voice didn't even make me flinch as he came over and laid beside me. Just shrugging, I hid under the covers only to feel arms wrapping around me. Instantly I relaxed and leant into his warmth.

"Come on you need to get up, keep your body clock going in the right way. Let's bake cookies." Smiling at his words, I nod and got myself up. We made our way to my kitchen and began to mix the dough. Once I had put the mixture in the oven, I turned seeing jungkook eating what dough was left in the bowl making me pull a face in disgust.

"You'll get food poisoning."

"Dont care." Together we laughed. I washed everything up, he dried then put the dishes away, helping me to get everything done right. Within twenty minutes, the cookies were done and kook got them out of the oven, placing the tray on the stove. Sitting myself on the counter, he took a hot cookie and fed me one whilst standing infront of me, between my legs. Nodding my head I looked up at him approvingly.

"Its really good...what's Up?" Noticing him staring at my lips, I asked him this. Instead of responding, he leant down and kissed the corner of my mouth then licked his lips.

"You had some chocolate there.." after staring at him in shock for a few seconds, I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him down and kissing him properly. Eagerly, he kissed back, hands on my waist and inching slightly closer. Pulling away slowly, I smiled shyly and buried my face into his chest, making him chuckle. Jungkook ran his hand over my hair gently.

"I'm glad you let me in.." he spoke quietly , looking down then kissing my head. I looked up at him, a giant smile on my lips.

"So am I. I'm glad I could help to heal you." Nodding at me, he pecked my lips again before sealing me in a tight hug. Maybe lockdown isn't so bad after all.

[hungeringheart]

hi! i was wondering if u did session analysis(es?) and i just wanted to ask if u could do an analysis for muse of void (troll), heir of hope, thief of breath, prince of blood (troll) and maid of doom. if you dont wanna do my request its fine! also love ur classpect analysis :D

It's been a minute! I'm sorry it took so long, I just saw "muse of void" and knew I'd have to give this one a particular level of think because it's such an interesting and uncommon classpect.

I think it's so uncommon and interesting because most rp groups within the fandom would never in a hundred million years let you bring in a Muse -- oh power creep this oh narrative focus that, you know, that type of thing. The usual mechanics measuring you get stuck into with people you don't know well and trust. So usually people make muses for fanventures or small closed things with friends -- and on that account I want to say, thank you as always for letting me at your characters to turn them over and put them in situations!

I don't acknowledge this enough, but when I write these posts I do my best to strike a balance between analysis according to my tastes and respecting the creative intent of the asker. Sometimes I can't obviously see it, and some people like to be vague in their asks because they want to see my take on something they're doing differently anyway -- but the sentiment is there!

I also quite like that you've specified everybody's species. Mind you, I do tend to assume your trolls are Alternian if not given any other context, and I might suggest a few things pertaining to my fanworld if I think it could help you think some things through. But the species context helps enormously!

Now that we've got preliminaries out of the way, let's get cracking.

Dramatis Personae

Trolls

Muse of Void

Prince of Blood

Humans

Heir of Hope

Thief of Breath

Maid of Doom

Lay of the Land

As usual, we're starting off by establishing the general status of our classpects. There's a bit to get through, so I've helpfully made some subheadings.

Hope

In my session analysis I usually say that the presence of an Heir means that their aspect is in a position to nurture them, but also in decline such that it requires an heir, a person to whom it (the aspect, in the sense of a programmed environmental preset or in the sense of a semi sapient force) can legally transfer its power, pass its torch.

In our case, that aspect is Hope.

Now, Hope is often scanned as optimism and literal actual hope and faith, but I would argue it also represents perseverance; one of its consistent symbols in the narrative is this idea of an unstoppable force, like a shonen protagonist or your friend that is somehow capable of ignoring all indications of reality when pursuing a dream. It's associated with angels, heralds and messengers of What Must Be -- you can't go protagonistier than divine approval of your pursuits!

When a hero of Hope is fully realized they can look at the rules and the realistic limits of a situation, say "nah but for real tho" and skip merrily right on through on the strength of their ability to ignore the haters. Aranea at least is of the opinion that Jake's aspect is "unrivaled 8y any other", and it's easy to see why - it's got big damn hero written all over it!

Not to say that you can't weight your aspects anydamnhow you like, of course. That depends on the story you want to tell.

But it's pretty classic storytelling to say that hope and faith and belief and dreams and such is dying, and someone loyal, brave and true is there to help. On some level we could all have used a champion for our childhood gentleness.

Breath

In keeping with our previous discovery that there's very little Hope to go round, we also have an understanding that Breath -- agency, serendipity, room to breathe, narrative, limelight -- is so rare, so precious, that somebody in need might be tempted to steal or usurp it.

Now, it is possible that the lack of Breath is personal for the Thief themself -- but is that more interesting for you than nobody having much agency, and the Thief deciding "screw y'all, I got mine"?

Or let's consider for a moment that maybe they want to help their team, but they need more Breath to do that... in essence, they need to learn to claim the limelight and occupy space? Oh, now we are cooking with gas. Now we're cooking with gas.

Doom

It can mean a lot of things for Doom to have a maid. Obvious among them is that there's a need for maybe tidying up, maybe some introducing and making -- disarray, lawlessness, a general disrespect for the conventions of being. That's not surprising given this Maid's friend group! Good golly, two entire main character syndrome patients. Naturally someone has to rein them in and establish some rules.

Rules in general seem to be relaxed here, and death and decline are quite remote -- is this a good thing? Is this a bad thing? I don't know -- time will tell.

One alternative reading of the Maid of specifically Doom that could be interesting is another digression into traditional narrative -- the figure of the doomed maid.

Let's take the mythohistorical person Berurya, for example, known mainly for being the wife (and therefore in some sense, in the period, also the servant) of the scholar Rabbi Meir. She's a fairly paradigmatic example of a narrative about someone who punches above their weight (she often argued theological opinions and people cited her in formal debate, she was famously very pious, and also she was, horror of horrors, a woman). In response to this her husband's students get jealous and conspire to put her in a position where to protect her dignity, she has to honour kill herself. They then expect him to go on like he's been having a normal one, or at least they never talk about it again except the guys who started a grassroots movement of naming after her.

You see these types of characters and imageries throughout a lot of different cultures, and mostly they boil down to this idea that there are people (reduced to archetypes) who are perfectly fine and even respectable as long as they serve the needs of the powers that be (in Berurya's case, the rabbinical establishment), but the moment that they fly too close to the sun, they have to be cut down. Doom is positively about justice and law and destiny (which is what doom meant to the Anglo-Saxons), but it can also be read as being about death, decay, judicial punishment, and yes, cutting down tall poppies...

Homestuck has an unfortunate (for your Maid) precedent for Maids -- underappreciated, servile, in some way sacrosanct figures -- as scapegoats and sufferers, and Doom is canonically also an aspect of suffering. I sure hope Doom doesn't turn on this poor individual right at the moment when they believe the rules that protect them would be most applicable! I sure hope they don't have their expectations and sense of effifacy built up only to have to resist their being torn down!

Blood

This is a lovely segue into a classpect that works really well thematically with Doom -- Blood represents connection, obligation, comradeship, change, revolution, mutation, connection, inheritance.

We do need to make a note of the fact that our Prince of Blood is a troll. For them, then, Blood is also fundamentally about caste and fitness and predestination in a way it probably isn't for your humans -- unless it is, but you'd know that better than me.

The duality of Princes -- do they destroy their aspect or destroy with its power? -- and their theming, which we can read as monarchic or as judicial (Nasi, the title of the president of the Sanhedrin, can be translated Prince or President), is similarly dualistic. Are they tyrants or mediators? Can you be both?

Regardless of their approach, a Prince in the game means the aspect is at a zenith of relevance -- Dirk's Heart aspect and his callousness with it was sort of a central thing of the alpha session -- and it's in their hands to some extent where their thing goes from there, up or down. They have dominion and they're free to use it as they like, define it, reform it -- like a Sylph, but more selfish, almost.

For the trolls this means a particularly harsh society, and for everyone it means that whatever the nature of their Blood, it's important. Maybe the troll species of your Prince inflects Blood for your human players too; maybe, if you like, your text is fundamentally focused on the implications of heritage in a way that Homestuck very deliberately avoids being.

Void

There is an argument to be made for the idea that Void is irrelevant to your game -- or nearly so, at first. Muses inspire and command (or command through) their Aspect, which is huge, but... it's a muse. It's the dinkiest most passive passive class, and in my particular balance oriented reading a Muse commands the aspect that's initially or eventually weakest and least relevant in the session. Calliope had zero room to learn or grow, and Caliborn blew up most of Space. That's a thing that he definitely actually did.

Put simply, your game is chockablock stuffed full of random pointless shit. No one has the time or desire to stop for a bit and do nothing; there's no mystery, they've all lost the plot of what they're doing and the reverence due to the thing in the background, the fear, the unknown. Minmaxing is expected.

If your troll religion is Horrorterror-oriented, this is a good time to say that's in decline too -- the level of abject don't give a fuck is so profound that the Muse may well believe they're the only person who really looks and sees anything at all in the world. That's a miserable way to be; they're probably not very effective, maybe even maladjusted.

But they don't have to be. After all, there are powers in the abyss, which are there and Ą̴̪̜̤̣̥͍̗̆̈́̏̇̾̅̈́͝ḻ̵̬̱̳̙͈̰̳͙͑́̎̐w̷̟̤͎͎͉͔͑̂̈́á̸̢̳̮̇̈́̽̒̍y̵̹̰̝͇̝̹̺̖̾̊̋̏ͅs̴̨͇͇̰͙͎̯̆̽͌̆͜ ̴̣͙̝͇͍͙̪͍͔́̉̽͗̃̚̕͝ẅ̴͙̼̭̹́̽̽͛̏̉͜i̸̛̖̘̮̤̱̳̖̎̀̔͑̂͘l̵̢̯͈̅͛̅̿̐́̾́̚l̴̜̝̙̪͕̔́̋ ̷̼̓͋͊̒͑́́̔̔b̷̳́̔͊̈̇̀̈́̊͊e̵͇̩͑̓͋̑͝.

Whoops! Got a little eldritch there for a second.

The big thing about Muses is that when realized, they can affect their aspect as much as it does them -- and in Void's case that means that our Muse here has the potential to seriously course correct the narrative, to restore Void to prominence and force everyone else to take time to reconsider things and reanalyze the space they occupy. For especially the Maid, that might be important...

From the top, now

First things first, no one's breeding any frogs, and no one has any do-overs. You'll also note I didn't do any ominous red text evoking Caliborn, and that's intentional too -- no Time aspect means that it's possible, as I've just realized, for this universe to be outside of the cancerous frog branch of SBURB.

So what does the game look like? How do they play?

I think the human kids start playing first, and they find their game a bit of a mess; hopeless, directionless, and kind of broken down systematically. The trolls play their own two-player game, which as far as they know is thematically about analyzing their society (through blood as caste and void as religion and both as what a person owes to society), and fail -- but the Muse leverages the Terrors and the Prince leverages their sense of decency, and off they go through the Ring and into an adjacent universe. I think they might begin as Exiles for two of the human players.

While the Maid runs around trying to facilitate the Hope player and keep the Breath player on course (their aspects are opposing along the axis of attitude to destiny, it's not easy), the Prince and Muse disagree (and maybe balkanize the human kids) as to what would be the most helpful form of intervention. That could be dangerous, but on the other hand, for now, their universe is coming to be still and quiet... there's a long window between when it becomes noticeable that an end is coming and when an end does come.

And oh, what sorts of things they could all get up to then!

Of course, in your own universe, mileage will vary...

Bonus rambling: a brief aside about an interesting point of mixed species sessions.

In a fundamental way, if there's no time travel and cultural anthropology involved, there's a very limited window of time in which one group of young people can communicate their worldview to another. Culture shock is real and sometimes strikes a long time after you think you've assimilated.

Children handle it better than adults on a lot of levels, but not on all of them. How much worse is a time limit if the people it's imposed on can't communicate about important issues?

Take Alternia: they have a caste system. In a group of human friends who don't have one, informal deference on the basis of social status just doesn't really usually happen. And in caste societies we do have, well, we have all kinds of social movements and changes ongoing.

Even insomuch as we have castes, for the most part, they don't affect our children in the way that trolls' castes do because they're partly morphological. We can infer from the existence of hemoanons that the phenomenon of caste is much like our phenomenon of sex-based gender for trolls -- the biological foundations are murky, but the sociological realia connected to them are attributed to innate traits and not really questioned.

This is a little like caste based politeness and a little like our binary gender in human societies so far, but stay with me -- I think there actually are certain aspects of the hemospectrum that are at some level instinctive. The castes correspond to castes in eusocial insects, and by that analogy we may assume that trolls in person a) can instantly tell what socially constructed caste a troll belongs to by their morph, and b) have some ant-brain level of very broad inborn behaviour about it.

It's always a good idea to consider your caste worldbuilding when you write little guys in opposition to each other and to humans -- how does your system respond to the species having internet? How does your humans' culture interface with it? Is it different by region, by planet?

Well, that's all for now, I think.

Thank you for sticking around this long!

[spectrumgarden]

I'm gonna try to do this as respectfully as possible but I feel like you do not understand how disheartening it is for a lot of my posts on this and similar issues to be turned into "but dont forget LSN people!". Believe me, they are not being forgotten just because a singular post doesnt center them.

99% of the self advocacy movement of the last decades is done by them and for themselves. Large parts of self advocacy movements are based on distancing themselves from me and my higher support needs friends and siblings. They call us harmful stereotypes: "autistic people dont actually do x or need y" even though MSN & HSN often do... They get upset if they are assumed to be like us because being like us is bad to them even if they might not say that out loud. Its still obvious.

When I got diagnosed my mother bought many books, many by autistic adults. What she read in there did not actually help her a lot in knowing what to expect from me as I grew up, how to understand me, or how to help me. Because they were written by LSN people for that same audience. No one in there told her about prompting to help me with communication or ADLs, or AAC, or head protection for my self injury behavior. They did however tell her I can move out and live by myself and go to university and then get a job because I'm smart and smart autistics are just a bit socially awkward and struggle with sensory input sometimes and if it's really extreme we might forget to shower for a couple days, but all we really need is some leeway when we dont understand your sarcasm and some noise cancelling headphones to focus at work and a weighted blanket at home.

I struggled for years until I found out you can be somebody that did not fit this profile while also not being HSN. It was a long time until I realized That even with the support I was getting, which was far more substantial than any of these other adults in the books or the general autism tags, it still wasnt enough. It took me another two years to be able to say online that I was MSN and start sharing what my life was like, after slowly finding others like me who I could finally understand and relate to. There arent that many of us on tumblr. I probably recognize every URL of people who have posted in the MSN tag more than twice. We try hard to advocate for ourselves.

But like every time I talk about my life in some detail someone shows up goes "what about LSN people experiences". That's not what I want to discuss. It's what everyone is already talking about. If those spaces dont discuss struggle openly or whatever that is something they can change from within.

I can not live a fairly normal life with the help of planners and phone alarms and a friend or relative who drops by once a week for an hour or two. Sure a LSN persons dishes might pile up sometimes and doing laundry is exhausting and maybe they dont brush their teeth twice a day. But that in itself is an unattainable fantasy for me. My caregiver is currently helping me apply for assisted living so I can move out into assisted living. That's what i need for like all iADLs. My therapist and me is looking into care agencies to cover the care of some bADLs, funded by my care level granted by the government. My mother is legally my caregiver. The government has assessed that I'm disabled to the level of needing daily care and she is being paid for this. I will most likely need financial assistance from the government for the rest of my life to even be able to afford just rent and food. I will most likely forever need this level of care.

I want LSN people, especially those living alone, to find ways to thrive. I want them to do well! I hope they find ways to cope and adapt. But I wanna be able to talk about my experiences without that being derailed. If I share experiences with someone LSN I'm happy to hear about that. If they use apps to prompt, if they have PECS on their walls, if they use AAC, if they are currently unemployed, if they use SIB. Put it on my posts, I welcome that. Just like. Not something that is literally the opposite of what I'm talking about and quite frankly feels so rude when it's something I can only dream of.

I know I'm shouting into the void with this one but like. Genuinely so many low support needs people dont understand what it's like having even medium support needs. Like I am entirely dependent on other people for many of my needs. I can not see a doctor without someone else scheduling the appointment, taking me there and doing a large amount of the communication for me.

If my caretaker had not been accepting of me being trans and invested hundreds of hours into psych appointments and taking me to my endocrinologist and doing all the paperwork involved with my name change and literally taking a week off work to stay with me in the hospital for surgery etc i would have just like. Never transitioned. My ability to transition was entirely dependent on a singular person and that's what a lot of other parts of my life are like as well. and that's fucking terrifying and a great way to be neglected and abused in ways that are horribly hard to get away from.

I dont drive, I dont work, I struggle to leave the house at all, I dont fucking communicate with people majority of the time. The things that are hard for you? I probably can not do them to begin with. No one in my family lives even close to a comparable life to me. None of my irl friends do. I'm incredibly isolated.

And then I go online and see people rant about how easy MSN and HSN people have it because we just get everything we need and how because people can tell we are disabled everything is so easy because none of you even manage to listen to us talk about the neglect and abuse and trauma we face/d. I see people angry at their (more) disabled siblings for getting care they need to survive instead of mad at society for creating a system where its incredibly hard for families to take care of both a higher support needs child and another child.

And I see people who live completely independent lives who work and drive and make their own doctors appointments and grocery shop and travel by themselves call themselves MSN (I could go on a rant about how that's also often the fault of LSN influencers for not leaving a lot of room in their own community for legitimate struggle but that's for another day).

I just want my needs met. I want to be able to decide where I live. I want choice in my care. I want to be able to have community with those like me. I want others to realize I exist and leave the words i have to describe my existence alone. I want others to listen to what I have to say about what my life is like.

[why-what-no]

hi i really wanna request a billy hargrove x fem reader, where she just falls out of love with him (she didnt fall for anyone else), and it doesnt really affect her but it affects billy alot (i wanna see sad billy so bad.) basically based off the quote “i dont love you anymore, goodbye”. i wanna see billy SOOOOOO pussy whipped, like hes so so so inlove with her 🤗 thank you so much

Don’t Love You

Pairing: Billy Hargrove x Fem!Reader

Warning: sad boi hours

Notes: Here you go! Sorry this took a while, I’m in a bit of a slump atm. But god, this was really easy for me to write because honestly, relatable. Which is depressing, but I’m glad I could put it to use to write this.

Part two

Billy had some feeling inside of a him, an anxious pit in his stomach. He’s know something was wrong with his girlfriend for a while now, but… she wasn’t saying anything.

When he said “anything”, he meant it. (Y/N) had started spending more time with friends and now he barely saw her. Normally, Billy would cut his losses, go talk to some other girl. But… he couldn’t stop thinking. Did he do something? Was there someone else? (That thought in particular made his stomach churn)

He couldn’t stand it, so within an hour he was outside her house.

“Billy?” He heard her, turning around so he could look at her. He loved looking at her. “Billy, what are you doing here?”

“I’m not allowed to want to see my girlfriend?” He joked, but almost froze when he saw her bristle at the word ‘girlfriend’.

“I.. I was just at Nancy’s.” She said. Billy tried to interpret her tone. Was it an explanation? An excuse? Just the first awkward thing that she could think to say?

He missed the time, only a week or so again, when they could speak about everything. When they knew exactly what their lives were like.

“I need to talk to you.” He finally said after a moment of unbearable silence where (Y/N) was fidgeting in front of him.

The fidgeting disappeared, and she got still. “Okay.” Her tone shifted. He expected her to be nervous, but she just sounded… expectant. “We can talk inside.”

***

She sat down on her couch, looking up at him. “So?” She asked him.

“I…” He said, beginning to get a little frustrated with his girlfriend. “What’s going on with you.”

“What do you mean?” She asked, but he wasn’t fooled. Her expression was crestfallen when he had asked her that.

And now he was even more frustrated. “You know what I mean. We never spend any time together, you’re always with your friends. You’ve barely spoke to me this week!” He had tried to avoid raising his voice… But when he was finally letting his feelings out he couldn’t help himself.

He regretted it when he saw (Y/N) flinch, the idea he scared her truly painful for him.

“I’m sorry.” She responded. “I just…”

“Is there someone else?” He was disgusted with how pathetic his voice sounded. If it was anyone else he would be furious, but with her it just felt like he was begging her to tell him there wasn’t.

And she did. “No!” (Y/N) exclaimed. “Of course not. You know I wouldn’t do that!”

She sighed, rubbing her hands. “I though you were going to do this first.”

“What?” He asked, and then scoffed when he realized what she was saying. “You thought… you wanted me to break up with you?”

“I’m sorry. But, I just.” She slumped on her couch under his disbelieving stare. “It’s not your fault, I just don’t feel anything romantic for you anymore.”

“Just like that?” His voice was almost a whisper. “You can do that?” His throat was dry, and he could feel himself starting to tear up. He forced the feeling down as he waited for a response.

“I’m sorry.” She did sound sorry, but she also sound like a weight had been taken off her chest. Billy, alternatively, felt like that weight had been thrown onto him.

She got up, walking to her door. “I thought it would be easier for you if you thought it was your idea to break up.”

“So you just avoided me?” He asked, starting to leave. Not wanting her to see how hurt he was.

“And I… I thought with some distance I could change how I felt, go back to normal.” Her confession made him feel almost empty. “But… I don’t love you anymore. Sorry.”

He laughed bitterly. “Amazing.” He said, sarcastically. Anger was the only thing he allowed himself to feel. “This has been great. Goodbye.”

“Goodbye.” She said softly as he stormed off.

***

He slammed his hand on the dashboard as soon as he got in the car. “Fuck!” He yelled, feeling the tears starting to stream down his face.

Part of him wanted to back inside, to pathetically beg her to take him back. If she just gave him another chance, he was sure he could make her love him like he loved her.

Another part of him wanted to make her regret this. To find some other girl and make her jealous. Prove that he was too good for her. But he knew he wasn’t. And he knew that he wouldn’t be able to be with another girl without thinking about (Y/N).

Honestly, he didn’t know what he was going to do.

[system-of-a-feather]

Do you have any tips on trying to self learn martial arts? I was looking specifically at Muay Thai, because it uses elbows and knees, but literally anything is good, I just have no clue where to start.

-Riley

Muay Thai is one of my favorites as stated before so great choice honestly. The thing with Muay Thai though is that a lot of the strikes do best when you can actually strike something as a lot of the strikes use a lot of momentum, and some of the fancier kicks can really be hard to preform in a shadow boxing manner due to how you have to move - so self learning Muay Thai will likely hit a wall at a certain point unless you have a sparing partner, a kick shield set up, or a good heavy punching bag since having that physical contact and grounded weighted "opponent" is caked into some of the moves.

With that being said, a lot of the core fundamentals and body shit for Muay Thai is more than still possible to practice at home without even having a bag or any target other than a good and proper wall (and light switch if you wanna have fun with it)

For example, a lot of Muay Thai moves and basics comes from the general stance (videos below) and the general way to stand while kicking and blocking as - if you didn't know - kicking often puts you on one leg and there is a form of balance and control that needs to be learned to get any of the kicks landing solidly.

For that in particular, most people would learn the basic stance and basic theory of how to stand and kick from someone else experienced (usually in person, but you can definitely find it online) and then usually one of the tips for people struggling is to go home find a wall and lift your leg up and tap the wall with your toes before bring it back. You could also learn the theory of the jab kick and do that specifically, but if you are learning the balance, so much as just using one leg to touch the wall is a good place to start. A particularly fun but "totally not recommended childish" thing is to do this exact thing, but to flick a light switch on and off. It'd piss off any home owner and you dont want to *kick* it on and off, but it is really good for getting that one legged balance and foot dexterity while feeling like a stupid child about it.

Once you get the general balance down, itd look into basic foot work (helps with fluidity and masking tells, this is something you should work on chronically though if you are dedicated), the jab / push kick (for distancing), low roundhouse, and blocking with the legs from some of the dedicated youtube stuff.

Additionally, if you have a friend that either is a masochist that trusts you, you can also run through the motions of strikes and keep the force to like 5% and / or pull back / pull the kicks and not actually strike them, but I would not recommend that to newbies or people without martial arts training since kicks, particularly high momentum driven ones like round houses, can be hard to control if you aren't confident and used to them.

I'm shocked we havent gotten the police called on us for the amount of times we just casually start a kick or punch or strike at our fiance but either not actually hitting him or stopping and then just tapping him playfully.

Also, if you do have a friend that would also be interested, you could always benefit massively by both just getting decent quality shin guards and actually sparing because sparring practice is one of the best ways to learn practical Muay Thai and it makes me kinda sad we only had time to go to a few of the sparring sessions.

I don't follow as much Muay Thai stuff on youtube as much cause I'm a Wing Chun Primary Simp and I'm currently focusing on expanding Wing Chun skills and repertoire but some of the links below I generally skimmed seemed decent starting introduction stuff and the channels - if you like them - probably have more in depth explanations for things than I could put in a single text post.

This first one looks good, it is a bit heavy so I wouldn't suggest all of this in one day and it is a lot for one time but it seems a good brief coverage of a lot of things you could practice.

The second one seems less in depth in the explanations on how to do things, but it seems more beginner friendly in terms of pacing and information.

That being said for both of these I only skimmed them so I might be wrong.

-XIV

[another-stark-sub]

“Are you in love with him?” - Tony Stark Imagine

Notes: I wrote and editted this in two hours instead of going over my notes. Was gonna be spicy fluffy but it just turned into fluffy, and one of the lines/paragraphs (smth like that i dont remember how long that segment was) is based on/inspired by a fanfic on ao3 I bookmarked. I think it’s debt-free, but I could be wrong.  Anyway, I hope you enjoy, and I’m so sorry im not on here more oftennnnn

- - -

“Of course I am. He’s Tony Stark.” You sighed, a weight finally lifted off your chest. “Who isn’t in love with him?”

Bruce blinked a few times, the confusion evident on his face. “Then, why don’t you tell him?”

You scoffed. These geniuses think they know everything, but they couldn’t see what was glaringly obvious to you. “He’s Tony Stark.”

The perplexed expression didn’t disappear from your friend’s expression. So, you explained further, “It’s already a privilege, beyond that really, to be talking to you, to any Avenger. To work with any of you is an honor, and to be friends with you” -you laughed- “it shouldn’t even be possible for someone like me.”

“Don’t say that. You’re amazing, too.” 

You tried to find any tick, any clue that he was lying. But Bruce seemed to really believe this. “I know I’m amazing.” You shrugged. “I’m great. I love and I care deeply, and I have a stable job. I have a place for myself, and I take care of myself.” You clicked your tongue. “However, you all, all  you Avengers… Forget out of my league, more like off planet.

“And Tony? He said it himself. Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist. Add superhero, figurehead, public figure, ex-CEO, and savior of the universe. Bruce, I have confidence in myself, but Tony is something else entirely. No one is worthy of him or his affections unless they’re a god or another Avenger.”

It was hard to keep up with the statistical analysis you were trying to run. The literal one on your hologram and the one keeping your view of Tony in check. So, defeated, you sighed and leaned back in your chair. 

Bruce closed his own work and stood across the lab bench. “Weirdly enough, I’m sure none of us Avengers think that way.” After a few taps of his pen against his palm, he added, “Aren’t there fans making posts about you, too? Tony showed me the, uh, Instagram videos.”

You laughed. “Fan edits don’t make an Avenger. Saving the world does.”

He shrugged. “You help us save the world.”

“From inside Avengers Tower on a computer.” You took a deep breath. “Look, Bruce, I appreciate what you’re trying to do. But, I’m not telling him.” You shrugged and brought your statistical analysis back up.

You knew your own worth. You were worthy of an amazing partner and person. Tony Stark, though, was easy beyond that. You had accepted it soon after you realized your own feelings, and while they haven’t dwindled, you knew it was for the best. 

~ - ~

Tony had never resorted to this before. It was never a question of his ability to code. In the past, it was because he didn’t need a program or an AI to do it for him. He could always tell if someone was into him. He knew when Pepper was into him. The moment Rhodey gazed at him back in their MIT days. Every single reporter and heiress and model he slept with, he knew when their thoughts turned sexual or romantic. 

You, though. With you, he couldn’t fucking tell, and he knew it was because of his own feelings. Tony felt intensely for people before. Pepper, Rhodey, that one reporter all those years ago. However, with you, it wasn’t just that fluttery feeling in his gut or the immediate smile he can’t seem to stop when he sees you. It was the comfort he felt when he heard your voice or the softness he could feel in his heart when he saw a picture of you. 

It was like his entire life was full of panic, never resting, never stopping. But when you entered his life with a gentle smile and a quick wit, it felt like he could finally breathe. 

It was addicting. 

“Sir, I have the calculations.”

“Hit me.”

“Speech diagnostics of you and of Ms. (Y/l/n) are similar. Whenever you speak of her, 79.4% is positive and 18.8% is neutral. Ms. (Y/l/n) has  78.9% positive and 17.2% neutral dialogue regarding you. When she speaks of you, her heartrate increases by 4.6%, and similarly, yours increases by 4.1%. When speaking to each other, heartrate initially increases by 7%.”

Tony nodded. “How does this compare to other Avengers? I gush about Banner like a teenager.”

“Well, sir, while you and Ms. (Y/l/n) have high positive dialogue about other Avengers, all of them have at least a 10% decrease compared to each other. And heartrate varies depending on the topic of conversation.”

Tony snapped his fingers. “Am I excluding all non-super friends? Include any agents, co-workers. Pep isn’t an Avenger after all.”

Friday took two seconds and responded. “You and Ms. (Y/l/n) have a significant difference in speech diagnostics when talking about or to each other compared to any other Avenger, co-worker, and friend.”

When Tony remained quiet, Friday added, “Do you want me to repeat the results?”

“You don’t need to, Friday.”

“But you’re not doing anything with the new information. Would you like me to save these findings?”

“Friday,” Tony warned. 

There was silence as the love-wrecked scientist pressed his fist between his brows. Data and cold hard facts said yes, but was it right?

“Sir?”

“Yes, Fri?”

“Would you like me to play examples for you?”

He blinked. “Examples?”

“Yes. Of you and her talking about each other positively.”

It was an invasion of privacy. Tony shouldn’t. 

“Play examples.”

Before his rational mind could tell Friday no. 

“Are you in love with him?”

Tony’s eyes widened. This was too private. It might not even be about him.”Friday-”

“Of course I am.”

“-stop playback.”

“He’s Tony Sta-”

“Playback stopped.”

Tony scrambled. “What? No, wait, go back. Play it.” Screw rational. You knew he was a narcissist. You wouldn’t expect him to hear that and stop. 

“He’s Tony Stark. Who isn’t in love with him?”

“Then, why don’t you tell him?��

“... He’s Tony Stark.”

Tony started to fiddle with something on his desk. “What does that mean?”

Friday answered, “Dr. Banner asked her if she loved you, and she said yes. This means that she’s in love with you.”

Why did he program Friday like this? “I know that. I mean, those two lines. Why does me being Tony Stark stop her from saying something?” Was it the attention? Did you want some sort of normal life away from cameras and international gossip? Maybe it was the Avenging. Having a partner who was always out risking death wasn’t ideal. 

Sure, you could be in love with him. But you couldn’t be with him. 

“Maybe you should ask her.”

There were celebrities who were able to live normal lives. Some paid to have prosthetics for going outside of moved to a remote country to get out of the spotlight. He thrived off attention, but he could give that up. Avenging, he couldn’t give that up, but maybe he could cut back. Take a mission a month instead of one a week. Or maybe take more digital missions. He wasn’t just Iron Man after all. He was a genius, could hack into the Pentagon if he really wanted to. 

“Yeah,” he said. “Maybe I could talk to her.”

~ - ~

The moment you put your bag down on your lab table, Tony said, “You’re gonna be mad.”

You narrowed your brows. “What did you do?” You pressed your palm to your chest. “Oh my god, Peter overwrote my data, didn’t he? Ugh, I know he said he’s great at managing holograms, but really, Tone, you should’ve given him a tutorial before giving him access.” You brought up your holograms to check your data and analysis. 

“That’s not it.” Tony stood next to you as you looked through your files. “I did something that invaded your privacy.”

You tilted your head. Closing the holograms, you took a deep breath and slowly asked, “How?”

Tony flashed an embarrassed grin before sighing. “You’re gonna be shocked, too, so prepare yourself.”

You did not know where this was going at all. What horrible thing could Tony have done? Steeling yourself, you took a deep breath and nodded at him to continue. 

Tony cleared his throat. “Usually, I can tell when someone has feelings for me. People are obvious about it, but you? You aren’t. So, I had Friday do some analysis on our speech patterns. Me, being in love with you, was one of my controls. You and your dialogue regarding me was the main variable. 

“Long story short, I accessed some audio of you and Bruce talking, and you said that you loved me but could never tell me.” He glanced at you. “So that’s why I need to apologize.” 

Your expression didn’t change. No, that wasn’t it. You, at first, looked confused. Now, there was just nothing. No expression. No wrinkled brow in anger of flushed cheeks in embarrassment. Nothing. 

Tony blinked. “You can shout at me now. If you were confused about when to shout at me.”

You licked your lips before taking a deep breath. “Ok, that was a lot.” You pursed your lips then opened it. But, you couldn’t really think of anything to say. You didn’t even know how to feel. “So you know that I” -you pointed at yourself and then at him- “and that I didn’t wanna tell you.” You shook your head. “Wait, do you know why I didn’t want to tell you?”

A broken scoff left Tony’s lips. “Yeah. I’m a mess.”

It was your turn to scoff. “Wait, you’re a mess? That’s why you think I don’t want to tell you?”

“Among other reasons?”

Other reasons? 

You crossed your arms. “Ok, what other reasons?”

Tony looked offended. Still, he listed, “I’m surrounded by cameras, and everyone wants some privacy. Can’t get it if you’re with me. Then, there’s the Iron Man of it all. I went into a wormhole with a nuke. That was also all over the news. Then, there’s the whole daddy issues thing. I’m working on it, but it takes a while-”

He rambled on and on, listing reason after reason, and with each one, you felt tears well up in your eyes. It was a weird mix of heartbreaking, confusing, and enraging. The emotions built up slowly with each word that left his mouth, overwhelming you to the point that you couldn’t even say how it happened. 

But, as Tony paced and talked so horribly about himself, you somehow ended up in front of him with your hands on his cheeks. 

You only realized it when Tony stopped talking and when his breath touched your lips. “What?” he asked. 

You didn’t answer. You kissed him instead. 

It was a hard press of  your lips against his. It was short, and it wasn’t much. 

But by the way Tony gripped the back of your neck and pulled you back for another kiss, you’d think it was his first kiss. You knew it wasn’t. Not just because you knew he had kissed all sorts of people before you, but because he somehow knew how to make you gasp and melt into him. 

While one hand kept you steady, the other trailed down your back and pulled you closer to him. His lips moved fluidly against yours, pushing and pulling, and everytime he moved back, you chased his lips to continue the kiss, because the softness, the passion, the fact it was finally happening, was all too good. You didn’t want it to stop.

Your hands started to move. For someone so rich, his t-shirt was rough when you twisted it between your fingers and pulled it to you. Slowly, you trailed your fingers along the side of his neck. You rubbed your thumb along his pulse point, a reminder that this was indeed real. You were kissing Tony Stark, and- He was pulling away again.

Desperate, you leaned forward, reached around to hold onto his shoulder, and kissed the side of his neck. 

He let out a breathy laugh, and before you could suck on his skin, his stubble scratched your cheek. 

You looked up at him and giggled when his nose bumped into yours. When your giggles turned into a smile, he kissed you again, a soft and short kiss, before leaning his forehead against yours. 

His thumbs rubbed circles into your waist as you lightly scratched the back of his neck. He didn’t say anything. In fact, he seemed busy gazing at you.

“Speechless, Stark?” you teased. 

He laughed. For a few seconds, he just gazed at you, seeming to prove your point. Tony’s hand began to wander, from stroking your cheek to pushing back your hair. “More confused.”

Remembering why you interrupted him, you brought your hands to his cheeks again and held him there so he couldn’t look away from you. “You are amazing, Tony. That’s the reason I didn’t want to tell you.” You shrugged. “You’re too good for me.”

His fidgeting stopped. “Well, that’s not true.”

“Tony, you’re an Avenger.”

“Technically, you are also an Avenger.”

“You’re a genius.”

“Who can’t cook scrambled eggs.”

“You literally saved the universe.”

“After producing weapons of mass destruction for decades.”

You glared at him. 

He glared back. Then, he fought back. “I don’t plan on retiring.”

“Wouldn’t want you to.”

“I have severe PTSD, anxiety, maybe ADHD, all mixed with trauma galore.”

“And I will learn to help you.”

“I couldn’t give you a normal life.”

“I’d rather have you anyway.”

He opened his mouth, but you instead told him, “I’d rather have you than anything. As long as, well, for as long as  you’ll have me.”

He raised his eyebrow. “You sure about that?”

“Positive.”

Tony shook his head with a smile. “Cause, I’d rather have you for, well, how does til you get tired of me sound?”

You laughed. “Won’t happen. But, sure.” You kissed him again.You would’ve kept going, but there was something to settle first.  “By the way, Tony?”

“Yeah?”

“Is Friday recording right now?”

“Friday records everything. It’s in the contract.”

Friday added, “I record everything that happens in the tower.”

“Ok.” You could work with that. “I’ll forgive you for the invasion of privacy.”

Tony beamed, and you couldn’t help your own smile when he did. Still, you continued, “On one condition.” Your own smile turned devious. “I want evidence that Star Spangled Banner took my ice cream.”

Tony burst out laughing. He kissed you again, a deep kiss, and when he was done, he mumbled, “God, I love you,” against your lips.