#i need to review in my own time
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sorry to be a bit of a hater but i do wish youtubers weren't so scared of making their videos just like, "reviews", whys everything gotta be a "video essay" all the time. every day my recommendations are filled with 40 minute videos titled "_____: An Underrated Masterpiece" where the first like five minutes are reading the wikipedia definition of "masterpiece" in a somber voice with dramatic themed text on screen. please just tell me how good or bad you think something is and use the rest of the runtime to explain why. you dont need to put on all these airs
#i know the ahem. channel. of some awe....... that whole situation kind of scared people off from using the word review#but like we live in the future now. you can make a review. i believe in you#AND LIKE i like a good video essay!! but im picky. because i read academic shit for fun#when i see a capital E essay im expecting theses. im expecting sub headers. im expecting multiple examples AND footnotes with asides#(and i know this is a controversial topic but i do expect them to be long. because if you read aloud a 4 page journal article its gonna)#(take a bit of time LOL maybe i just read too much academia shit. but i dunno man. theres not a lot you can say about like a big huge)#(topic with multiple angles if you only have like 10 minutes. maybe i just talk too slow. i need to breath <3 )#theres other formats too. surveys. retrospectives. informative essays. persuasive essays. etc#and like i also read lots of reviews not just of like movies and books but of like gallery exhibitions and shit!! they can be extremely#interesting a lot of work and some really beautiful writing!! nothing wrong with a review!!! theyre important#but i do get annoyed with like. the odd air of pretention i see in a lot of video essays. especially cause its usually not backed up by#the content. i dont care for those airs in academia either. nor do i like it in documentaries#just talk naturally. you'll find your voice. there might be pretention in it in the end but it'll be yours#if im making sense. i hear a lot of people talking in a pretention that is not their own. something they put on because thats what they#think they should do. you need to find your own pretention. be pretentious in a way that feels natural to youuuuuu#hell im being pretentious. about this LOL but like its my own. it is a pretentiousness ive built over the past half decade#play around. write a blog. i dunno. find your voice dear youtubers. find your voice
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Would anyone want more Spanish-learning posts from me? I keep a Spanish language notebook where I keep notes just for my own reference (including all my notes from class). Depending on how diligently I'm watching a show, I'll try to compile vocabulary lists like the one above, which is basically new (to me) words I've picked up. This list encompasses Season 1 of the Desperate Housewives. It seems like more people are either using Duolingo, or have some increased interest in learning a second language so I figure it might be helpful. Let me know!
#if anyone does want me to post more of this I will try to write more legibly#i find it's also helpful for my note taking to write the word in the sentence i first heard it used in#I can look at a word and remember where I first heard it from my own notes#but for the sake of others reading/learning from my notes#I can write more of the words in sentences#it will probably be useful for me to review after more time passes#and I will probably forget the origin#spanish#learning spanish#spanish vocabulary#also summer is basically my time for seasonal depression because there are no mushrooms and i hate the heat and i dont have air conditionin#so I always need to distract myself with non mushroom intellectual pursuits
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i think it should be possible to scream without making any noise or disturbing anyone or inviting any questions . just sometimes . as a treat .
#hhhhHHHGHGHHHHHH#jay screams into the void#(deeply personal rant incoming feel free to ignore)#a friend of mine has just been undiagnosed with bpd which . lovely for them but it sure as fuck invites a Lot of questions#suddenly a great deal of previous shitty behaviour that was excused on the basis of bpd has a lot more to answer for#(obligatory I Know BPD Isn't An Excuse To Treat People Like Shit . im aware . i have bpd myself and i have v high standards re my behaviour)#(however allowances were made bc they were unmedicated & out of therapy through no fault of their own)#(and our whole group has enough experience with untreated mental illness to understand that it can make u a bitch sometimes)#but yeah no there have been a LOT of instances of b&w thinking + manipulation + unfair judgement + high emotion + snap reactions#and every situation Could be explained by untreated bpd and the bad times have never been prolonged or often enough to outweigh the good#but Hoo Boy if that wasn't bpd then what the FUCK was it#like either the new psychiatrist is wrong (possible but i seem to be the only one questioning it) or they're just Like That#and again . not enough to outweigh their numerous positive and loveable traits#but the whole group has been destabilised on a number of occasions due to their actions during a bad spell#and i'm really not sure Any Other Explanation is enough to justify that#ah well . this seems like the kind of thing that will eventually come up during a sleepover heart to heart#but rn i'm stuck in a bubble of MAJOR rsd & brainfuck abt it . which is unfortunate bc now is exactly the time i Don't need brainfuck#anyways ✨ goodnight tumblrinas i am . kind of hoping nobody read this bc i fear i sound like a bitch#i am genuinely happy for their undiagnosis it seems to have put many things into perspective for them & theyre v happy about it#i'm just . uncomfy w some aspects of it that i have only been halfway brave enough to discuss with them personally#That's One To Bring Up With My Therapist In A Few Weeks#Bit Of A Shame I'm No Longer In Therapy And Now Have Only 2 Quarterly Reviews Left Before I'm Discharged From The Service
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i really, truly, terrifyingly am unaware of who i am as a person. obviously, interests don't make up an entire personality. but what am i without them? the labels i use to describe myself no longer fit me. i have these swathes of names in my head that i don't want to belong to me and they do nonetheless. i am rotting. i am dying on the inside. one day i will fit to my own ideals and i will be happy and healthy and see beautiful sunlight stream through my windows again.
#random thoughts#(probably being dramatic because i watched another review of those lacey flash games and those always scare the shit out of me.#stop that crispin your language is so cheap and disgusting!!)#conflicting labels and interests and terms to describe the amalgamation of personalities i refer to as mine.#i have no concept of time and it is making me sick to my stomach. i do not remember. so many things.#this is only recent. i have not gone outside in a while.#not properly at least. there was yesterday (or whenever tuesday was) but that was for. legalities.#i sit in my room and i lose track of time and i drink water and i rot and i rot and i rot.#hey what's all this talk about rotting i need to promote the album......... 60 streams in just four days wow!!#listeners in japan and new zealand and germany and all that. amazing.#spotify no longer has malice mizer on the podcast i used to listen to. but there's another one.#i need to talk about random things. i have so much to say.#i've been speaking every day but i need to extend my reach to more people. there is a chance i am very mentally ill and i can't even tell#any of you.#in more ways than one now ! ! ! ! !#the term “crazy person”. i really do feel like it.#and i can't tell if it's properly me or myself in a way that. is. i will not elaborate.#something something four years of speculation.#that's cured momentarily i had a human interaction. i think i need to write meaningless words now. (sorry.)#torturous cloth bleeding desperately for the shrines you see nothing is ever really anything when you look at it beyond the surface of seas#and pretty intricate little cobwebs dancing a tune and spelling out the number 50 which is insignificant and means nothing obviously you#know this now#but as a member of us do you isolate yourself place yourself on a pedestal ever i think we're really all just that purple-blooded syndicate#i got into the things you like so i could be a part of you and now you are a part of me altered in the back of my mind though here you see#he took his own face and name now so he is different in some respects#no i don't like this i can see his face peeling in the forefront of my mind perhaps it is something i ought to share to the world through#song#(okay i just needed to do this. fine now. this post is also scheduled. may or may not delete.)#the internet is really scary!!!!
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What you’d least like to hear (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Damned#ZEX#DAX#I actually made this much earlier in the year - I wanna say in June?? But held off on it#I'd review my notes but hrmnh - best I can guess is I planned to digitize it and that didn't pan out before the end of the year#It also looks like it might've been around the same time as my ISaT fic - very much in the same emotional vein#I really love DAX <3 He's so wonderfully prideful and sure of himself and Very Certain that he and ZEX are a forever kind of deal hehe#Even if that means getting regularly knife-twisted about his feelings he's still willing and wanting to be by his side and support him#He loves him! He wants to be useful to him and has deeply-held confidence that he is needed by him#Irreplaceable - ZEX's DAX#Which of course means that being told By his Admiral that he was Wrong and Foolish to ever think as much#Where's he supposed to go from there#I saw something similar in a post recently actually - maybe just waiting for the time to finally be right haha#''I forged myself into a weapon specifically for you and now I have no other purpose to serve'' ough#Living for someone else to its extreme conclusion#I was rereading DAX and Dr. Vargas(es)'s scene recently as well - ''Do you have any dreams of your own?'' hghh#It's not quite of the Skelebros or the Vargases but whatever DAX has towards ZEX is definitely Something ''Who am I without you''#Another part of what makes We Do What Is Necessary so sad! One without the other is always sad but DAX without ZEX...#I really do want to continue the fic I have from his/Dexter's POV as well - what Would he be like without his main focus!#Somewhere he never thought he'd be - everything ZEX after a point haha#The fun of the institute is the opportunity to explore such owies right in the forefront - so many forms of emotional and physical torture#What would make ZEX say something like this! Or would Whoever-it-is just happen to share his current body's face hmm#Never quite sure who anyone is with changing bodies around here#Not that Max would say it like this either haha but who's to say it would have to be Max hmm#Considerations many
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🖤🖤🖤🖤Another one for The Education of a Lady 🖤🖤🖤🖤
used this Pin as a reference
#fantasticalleigh's art#fantasticalleighs art#dramione#dramione art#dramione fanart#dark dramione#draco malfoy#hermione granger#artists on tumblr#illustrators on tumblr#shoutout to that one shithead who once left a review on this fic saying my art is terrible and that i shouldn't bother sharing it#guess what bitch: the point is to keep doing it in order to get better that's how it works#i was proud of my work at the time just like i'm proud of this one now#i sincerely hope you don't go talking to other artists that way bc not everyone is going to be able to take a comment like that well#so fuck you and sorry for my followers who see this in the tags and go wtf?#but that's actually one of the comments that have really bothered me and i do actually think about it a lot#so whoever that anon was: i've gotten better (not that i need to prove it to anyone)#and i hope you go suck a wet fart out of your own asshole before you comment some shit like that ever again
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are you a compsci major :0
✦゜ANSWERED: I wish I had the brains and dedication for that ^^; If anything, Ren would be the compsci major (if he chose to go to university with you)!! As for me though?? I'm currently double majoring in digital media and social working ;v;
#With honours because I hate myself xx ;v; /lh#<- But that's also the main reason why I don't have time to work on 14DWY T_T#Had I not become a slave to da unbalanced education system I woulda dropped out and finished the game by now dhdsjghdsj#And also because 14DWY is a fun lil passion project for me ;w;#But seeing so many people love and enjoy the demo makes me wanna put more time and focus on it!!#I appreciate all the support; fan content; kind words; and lovely reviews you all leave me ^^#I also wanna thank everyone for being so patient with me as well!! I know I'm probably the slowest out of all the devs#And I'm also very shy and miss a lot of things because I don't have the time to come online + backread everything#But I genuinely do appreciate y'all trying to involve me in everything that's going on in the yan circle!! I kith you all /p /gen#I'll try my best to come out of my shell for you all <3 ^^#💌 — answered.#🖤 — shut up sai.#I need my own Ranting In The Tags tag hgdsjgs#This has happened one too many times >.<#💖 — 14 days with queue.
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My art summary for this year! One standout piece for each month... so it was a little maddening when I had one month with a bunch of good pieces and then a few months (october...) where I did almost nothing
And a tally of the fandoms I drew for:
Hogan's Heroes, somehow, is still in the lead of my most prolific fandom! Given how deep I've been into the MXTX novels lately I thought it would have been overthrown, but nope, Hogan's Heroes still wins first in my heart this year apparently!
The other fandoms I drew at least a couple pieces of art for this year were Torchwood, MDZS, TGCF, MASH, Doctor Who, Rat Patrol, Sherlock Holmes, Cybersix, Les Mis, bandes desinées as a collective unit, A Marvellous Light, and Xena. The numbers for people who are interested
and fandoms I only drew a single piece or doodled for were: Banjo-Kazooie, Between the Lions, Detective Conan, Dr Domino, Dimwood Forest, Dragon Age, Firekeeper, Good Omens, Helluva Boss, Hitchhiker's Guide, Leisure Suit Larry, Lupin III, Miss Fisher, Ninjago, One Piece, Once Upon A Time, Penumbra, Pippi Longstocking, Planet of the Apes, Pretty Woman, RWBY, Spy x Family, Transformers, and When the Angels Left The Old Country!
...I do nothing if not dabble, apparently. That dashboard osmosis game certainly gave me a chance to draw for a lot of interesting things
#my art#tumblr2023#year in review#hogan's heroes#it really is the fandom i end up circling back to in the end when i need something chill and comforting#also it hands down has the best fandom so its siren song always lures me back in <333 i've met great people thanks to hogan's heroes#mdzs#tgcf#cybersix#torchwood#mash#i grouped my bd art together because i've dabbled in a bunch of different ones but not really enough to stand on their own#some tintin some asterix some blacksad... a few others#okay and with this i'm done reflecting on last years art and you will be getting new fresh art next time i post u.u#i feel like i haven't been doing much art lately i've been on too much of a writing kick lately so hopefully yall have been enjoying my#fanfiction posting#bene speaks
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Oh that’s really annoying
#my comment gets peer reviewed by one-time-I-dreamt#and there’s a reply with a swear in it#that really annoys me#and I don’t even get what joke the reply is trying to make#cb writing stuff#IT DIDN’T EVEN NEED TO BE A REPLY#IT SHOULDN’T HAVE#IT WOULD MAKE FAR MORE SENSE AS ITS OWN COMMENT
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When The Moon Hatched is an insane book. It is a fae romantasy but this author went whole hog into building a world that works completely unlike our own, and I can tell she is determined to make it consistent and make sense within her own internal set of rules. I really respect her for trying to do something new, even if the prose is the brightest shade of eggplant I've come across in a while. It's not Good -- the weakness of the prose, especially when she tries a "High Fantasy" tone, holy shit, and the stodgy romantasy beats [even with the twist you can see from a mile away] make this a squarely mediocre read -- but she was definitely ambitious and trying something that puts her work apart from the gazillion other fae romances (there's like, no humans at all in this book, which I respect a lot). She definitely has a Vision, and there's nothing I love more than works produced by self made arteurs with only middling technical skill that are obviously passion projects. Yeah, the story itself is mid and the characters pretty stock when you get down to it, but the world is genuinely interesting and probably the least derivative I've read in any contemporary romantasy. You can tell that she probably read things like Discworld and was like, "I want to do this too! I want to create my own unique planet and then set a sexy faerie romance on it and it'll be my magnum opus."
And you know what??? Good for her. I love that. Friggin large popcorn dammit because reading this feels exactly like watching one of those one-off mid-budget fantasy/sci fi movies from the mid 00s - mid 10s that are firmly mediocre, but still live in your psyche forever. This is truly the Mortal Engines or Chronicles of Riddick -- or, actually JUPITER ASCENDING!!!! -- of the faerie romance genre. I'm only about halfway through, but I'm pretty sure at the rate this is going my opinion isnt going to change much.
Also. People complain that there's tons of made up jargon and they need to consistently refer to the glossary, which I personally don't see because to me it's really quite easy to infer what things mean based on context clues ??????? Like the book never goes out of its way to overly explain what anything is since the POV character has lived in this world for her entire life, so it's all just normal to her, and I very much respect that choice not to exposit more than absolutely necessary. Like idk those 70s pulp sci fi books must have really done a number on my pattern recognition and contextual reading skills, because I'm not having any difficulty at all following and inferring the meanings of the jargon. Like. I really need some of these people who complain about fantasy slang and jargon to try picking up A Clockwork Orange one day. That book is nigh impenetrable with made up slang LOL.
#rene's impromptu book reviews#this is my new tag for these kinds of posts#also i love how fae aging and longevity is implied through the way time is measured in this one#A year is about 1000 in universe days and fae can apparently live for hundreds of years#like theyre i think considered mature at the same number of years as humans but the length of those years are much longer than ours#and we have no clue how long those days are -- theyre at least as long as ours though they could be longer#but thats a moot speculation because there are no humans in this one so everyones on the same playing field#also the way that they use scent as a primary sense differently from us is genuinely handled so subtly im actually a little impressed#like i know its a stock trait in contemporary faerie books for fae to be able to smell things a/b/o style#but i do like that it was included the way it is. not super in your face but still There#readswithrachel blasted a line because the pov character described someone as smelling like a 'freshly split stone' and went on a rant abou#how that doesnt smell like anything and im just like. hm sure but first of all these people arent human and use smell as a primary sense#(which is supported by the fact that someone asked another person what a stranger smelled like in order to get an identifying description)#so like. how do you know if they cant smell what split stone smells like. also it's just an evocative description. it could be literal but#it also could be metaphor. if scents tell you what sort of person a character is then that is an evocative description.#it is a little purple and silly sure. but this is also a fae romance book.#like idk i think a skill you need to have as an effective critic is to be able to engage with a work on its own level -- to analyze it from#both the perspective of your own tastes and from the perspective of its target audience. theres layers to it. like an onion#anyway.
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My favorite thing my warden says in combat is "Have you no concern for your own existence!?"
She says it in every fight, I love it so much. Every time I replay, Rose needs to have the wise voice, I need to hear her say her battle catchphrase a million times per playthrough.
But my favorite time she's ever said it was when we went back to Ostagar. We've got Rose, Alistair, the mabari, and Wynne all together reliving the trauma of the battle right before we head to the landsmeet. We're actually super close to the end game so tension's high.
We're fighting darkspawn, but uh oh! "Look there--a cunning trap!" over by the stairs!
I rush Rose over there to disarm the trap, only to get interrupted by the last hurlock jumping in my way... and I see Alistair step in the damn thing just as Rose shrieks, "Have you no concern for your own existence!?"
I know in my heart of hearts that she actually said that to him. Alistair cannot stop himself, if there's an obvious bear trap on the floor, my man's gonna step in it.
By the way, I wanna know other people's favorite things their warden says. I know the ladder comment is a popular one for the violent voice, but I wanna hear all the others.
#dragon age#dragon age origins#dao#alistair theirin#rosalie tabris#dao warden tabris#it's one of the funniest things that's happened to me in dao like yes alistair please have more concern for your own existence#he always triggers traps no matter what. i even give him the trap-making skill and get his cunning up he just sees one#and goes 'oh imma step in that tehe' alistair babe my love light of my life in this world of darkness.........please#I'm starting to think he's doing it on purpose ngl#also i'm currently in dao's character creator making rose for my full canon replay of the series and picking her voice reminded me of this#so thought i'd share because it's my headcanon now that she says that to her enemies and her companions an equal amount of times sksks#i also love it when she says 'perhaps we should take the time to review what we've learned?' and 'i swear when this is over...'#personally i picked the wise voice because its a little deeper than the others. i felt rose needed a voice like that.#it's the same reason i always choose the second voice with the american accent for ash it has a tone/pitch that i like
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Trying so hard not to be a detestable human to my project partner
#i might just let her fail fr atp#the way she has never ever cared about this project and now she's shamelessly begging me to write the entire file and just give it to her#because she has no clue about anything we did for this project#and she isn't bothered in the least#“ami literature riviw likhte pari na amake likhe diye de plzzzz”#no actually. i think u should throw urself against a wall very violently if ur a msc student and u:#1. don't know how to write a literature review#and 2. don't even care about learning about how to write it#like fuck this bitch fr and her fucking weaponized incompetence#I've had people slack off on me in group projects before alllll the time but she is just something different#like I don't even get mad about ppl slacking off usually but the situation with her is so bad that I actually wanna fight her#the best part is even if she takes everything from me she will do so fucking horrible in her viva anyways cause she literally knows nothing#but i'm starting to think i should make her run for her life for the project file too#for my own entertainment#p#sorry for the rant guys yall can ignore#i just need to be mad and get this off my chest so that i can go back to finishing my own file
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20 and 21 for the film ask! ✨
Hello 🫂 These two specifically were so hard, offering three picks for each: one Nostalgic, one Niche, one Obvious but Nonetheless True. This is actually me exhibiting so much restraint you have no idea
20. A film where the vibes are immaculate:
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Krysar: La Joueur de Flúte d'Hamelin (1986) - The first weird film my best friend brought to me like, "I've never seen this but I read the description and saw some screencaps and this is a You film". It's a Czech stop motion feature adapting The Pied Piper of Hamelin, it really elevates the original folklore into something special imo
Blood Tea and Red String (2006) - Another film my best friend brought to me, essentially a poem as a film. Highly suggest going in blind, just know that there's no dialogue and it has slowburn pacing
The Fall (2006) - Obvious but very, very good pick. Can't recommend highly enough, can recommend to anyone
21. Films with a great needledrop/score/soundtrack:
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Grosse Pointe Blank (1997) - Joe Strummer from the Clash is one of my favorite Guys of all time and he was the music guy for this and I love it, it's about a high school reunion and you can tell he had so much fun finding places to drop his favorite throwbacks
The Phantom of the Paradise (1976) - Yet another film my best friend and I found together, also very heavy influence over Guillermo del Toro in terms of style and subject matter, Paul Walker did the music and also cameos as a music producer who's done a deal with the devil, also Jessica Harper from Suspiria (1977) is in it, and um who knew she could sing? God, I love her
Moonlight (2016) - Gorgeous score by Nicholas Brittell, almost picked this for the previous number as well. Same as The Fall, can't recommend highly enough and will recommend to anyone
Also, I almost picked Troy (2004) for this one because it brought us together and also I included it among a bunch of movies the scores of which I studied for a science project in middle school <3 she's always been like this actually 🤔
#mine#asks#mutuals#hiiii im kicking my feet hiiiiiiiii#this reminds me i need to start actually updating and posting reviews on letterboxd#i was torn between picking the pied piper or morgiana for the nostalgic one bc morgiana is also czech and nostalgic for best friend reasons#morgiana 1972 is also really fun and more Pretty in terms of vibes a very fun watch with friends#but storytelling wise krysar is just better imo#also almost picked how to marry a millionaire for vibes and gentlemen prefer blondes for music#but my answer to film cant be marilyn monroe every time i have grown since i was five presumably#oh shit moulin rouge couldve been a good answer for either too...... i have to post NOW or ill go on forever ahhhhhhhhh#wait also joe strummer putting one of his own band's underappreciated songs in the soundtrack he was asked to put together.... rip icon ily
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ack sorry I was rude about the bathroom problem script I misunderstood what you meant </3 thank you for being a great resource for the sunny stans
No worries lmfao I was being crypto maybe unnecessarily but more for fun… trying to lure people to my blog… lol
But I promise my main goal here is to make sure fans have access to as much Sunny content and resources as possible!
That’s my whole motivation for this blog, after years of searching the depths of the internet for old stuff and running into dozens of dead links (why!! @alwayssunnyfxx !? why did you privatise/delete so many videos!?) and watching almost every social media site fall apart to bad AI search and bots, I want a place where that’s not going to happen (as long as Blogger stays in existence, I guess)
It’s definitely a work in progress, and there’s still a lot to come, to be added and collected, scripts included, but hopefully we will soon have a great resource and fun and interesting site for the community, and a place for great future content and, of course, Season 17+ updates :)
#iasip#ask#ppb#woring on a formative post#not rn lol i’m tipsy#but yo publish monday probs?#i need 5 peer reviews on this thing#anyway i am trying to pander this blog to everyone#so you can read the posts and get it#no matter if you’ve seen the show once through while under the influence or 100 times#you can see these things and go yeah! or go ohhh#that’s the goal :)#on top of all the FUN STUFF!#anyway if anyone wants to join… again. i have a discord and what not#:$#also like#s16 tracking everything on my own was fun#but i hated literally HATED how isolated my stuff was lol#like it was just a personal spreadsheet i could figure out how to format here#this blog is more freedom :)
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i haven’t had to come out since like. 2017/2018 somewhere in there idr and back then i was a literal child so i kind of don’t remember how this all works. coming out as trans is one of the stupidest things ever like hey person i never really talk about deep things with heres an incredibly personal facet of my identity that frankly you have no business knowing but we live in a society so here we are. but then simultaneously i have such a huge sense of relief like oh right hiding a relatively important part of myself for nearly half my life from my dearest family member is in fact weighing on me a bit okay 👍
#so theres my review if any of you are looking to come out#sometimes im like wow we need to abolish gender but then also. sometimes its nice#i was sitting there next to my brother trying to hype myself up and was immediately like this is stupid as fuck.#like do i really have to be trans. what a waste of time this identity is#but then after the whole conversation im like oh my god i feel so incredibly More Trans now#so?? idk. we live in a society indeed#trans#if i was merely gay i wouldnt say shit i would let them come to their own conclusions#unfortunately i have other things going on
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lies on the floor and has just So Many Feelings about all the ways in which pericles and cassidy are foils, one of them being the comparison between how they use constant, vocal, unabashed affirmation of the qualities they value about themselves to cope with rock bottom self-esteem.
there's so much to be said here about how pericles' 'positive' self-talk is ultimately destructive to himself and everyone around him, whereas cassidy's has both been healing for her and held her back from processing her self-loathing in other ways, and so much of that has to do with her experiencing firsthand the results of pericles' shit handling of his poor self-esteem and desperately not wanting to be anything like him. fuck me up man
#sdmi#scooby doo: mystery incorporated#cassidy williams#professor pericles#SDMItag#there's SO much here god#the older i get the more i understand cassidy and *ow*#which like god the 'desperately does not want to be another pericles' is a whole can of worms of its own#cassidy: it's important to internalize that you're allowed to like and be proud of things about yourself without having to Pass Peer Review#not just as a matter of principle but because your brain needs to hear it reinforced to do so; especially when there's already damage#in the same way that someone tearing you down over and over and over will beat the idea into your head over time#no matter how Flat Out Wrong you believe they are on a logical level; and no matter how viscerally you believed that at the start#be the opposite of that for yourself#pericles: my entire personhood hinges on one (1) Good Quality(tm)#without it i am utterly worthless and deserve everything that has ever happened to me. everyone i refused to believe about myself was right#the only valid measure of whether i am a person and have worth is whether the One Good Quality demonstrably *works* in practice#and other people are forced to believe it is real and matters because it directly affects them; usually to their detriment#and the only reason people try to stop me from succeeding or give me consequences for my actions is because they don't see me as a person#'locking me up like a common beast' isn't wrong because he's inherently a person; it's wrong because *he's Smart and that makes him one*#and it does not cross his mind at all that 'seems to have murdered a bunch of children' *might in fact be a reason they'd lock up a person*#so fuck em he'll hurt anyone and everyone in order to prove his One Good Quality; and make *absolutely sure* they know it's being proved#there has to be someone else to witness and validate that proof; because to him his own judgment does not count#cassidy after having her life destroyed by the results: Hm! no thanks#dyn: so nice to meet you; angel
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