#i need to post this here because i dont want this to be seen in my portfolio site/blog lol

[audioroleplayconfessions]

i dont want to reveal my identity (youll see why in a sec lol) so im saying this here rather than my main account cause im relatively well known in redacted tumblr (annnd im a pussy and this is sort of weighing on me a bit).

i dont know how to say it but there are these chats?? like mainly on discord and instagram and i think some other places too (idk i dont have twitter or x or whatever but i think theres one there too) where people have lists of these accounts they dont like and resolve to 'punish them'. im sure im explaining this terribly but i cant really say much without the people in these chats instantly knowing who i am and adding me to their insane hate pile puritan police bullshit.

i got added to one of the discord chats in august by a mutual from a redacted server i was in (not the main one like some fan one from tumblr) and genuinely? it is fucking insane. think genuine csi shit. like sorting people into who supports 'problematic ships' and 'supports problematic characters' or who are 'rape apologists' or even just 'icky' and genuinely allocating certain people to harass and threaten them. and i mean seriously organising. as in scheduling when to spam anons or making hate posts or trying to work out their real identities to 'drill the lesson in' (actual quote).

whats worse is that many bigger accounts in the fandom are in these chats. like people ive been friendly with for months (if not years) who i thought were cool, but then act completely different there. i wont name drop or anything, mainly to respect the rules of this blog and preserve my own identity (cause god knows they dont deserve that after some of the shit theyve said and done), but if youre in redacted tumblr, you defintely know at least some of them. 100% you do.

ive gone out of my way to warn some of these accounts ive seen on there frequently (so if you got an anon warning you about these chats hello!! its me!!) but i cannot understate how fucking crazy they are. not only do these supposed 'progressive accepting people' resort to misogyny, transphobia, homophobia and racism (esp this one, jesus the slurs) towards any account they dont like, they also genuinely view themselves as these insane moral authorities set on 'cleansing the fandom of the filth' (another actual quote from one of the discord chats. i genuinely had to take a lap after reading it bc it was so cringe and insane it physically hurt)

i swear im telling the truth with this btw, i know it sounds so stupid and unbelievable but i just needed to get it out of my system because ive been lurking in this chat and i feel kinda responsible for all the hate these poor people are getting, since im not standing up against them. so to anyone whos received heavy hate for 'problematic opinions' im really fucking sorry man. i shoulda tried to put a stop to it but there were so many big accounts there i was afraid of getting ostracised from the community or targeted myself.

anyway, point is. be careful. watch ur faves. and god, everyone in this moral brigade stop being so fucking demented. youre making this unfun for everyone.

(thank you for giving a space for me to speak about this btw bc i genuinely dont know how i wouldve told people widescale otherwise. i really appreciate the space you provide for us all <33 )

.

[rey-jake-therapist]

You know, Sauron gets called a narcissist a lot and we should talk about it a bit. The thing is, from someone who's read books, watched films, and done tons of info gathering all because I lived with a narcissistic parent, it's surprisingly to me how so many ppl only look at his tendencies from an angle of victimhood (but understandable), and not the angle that if you're cunning enough, you can play the reverse uno card on their dumb asses. I lived in emotional pain for years until I realized I decided to accept the role of victim, and that I didn't have to. So I decided to research everything about narcissists, and found psychological ways to play them at their own game by taking advantage of their blind spots.

For one, since they have this inflated sense of grandiosity, they find it very hard to believe a lie that flatters their ego. Idk if ppl realize this. Because denying a compliment with /some/ truth in it would mean they are being humble, and thus downplay this false image they desperately want others to believe about them (unless they're faking humility for reason, like to get a promotion or to flatter themselves to someone above them on the ladder, or in Gals case, because he thinks it would look good on him in her eyes to appear 'humble'), as well as admitting to that egoistic part of themselves that they aren't as great as they believe they are (and they do). Like I said how I lived with a narcissistic parent? I figured out that if I pretend to hype them up when they're in a good mood, they would genuinely think I cared about them and thought they were this amazing dad, and they would be like 'hey let's go get some mcdonalds!' It was nothing like the genuine love from a nonnarcisstic dad, but I learned how to manipulate him to get things that I wanted, simply by playing to his need for admiration and validation.

I'm not saying this tactic works for every narc you come across, but if you can get yourself into their head, be the master to their puppet strings, instead of opposing them or correcting them (they hate criticism and anything that hurts their ego, as we see with Annatar), you can use them just as they see you as a tool.

Idk if any of this makes sense. I do think that I may have absorbed some of my dad's traits for seeing things this way, but I know in my heart I would never ever treat my own kid like this. I see it as a form of adaptation to living with someone with such a vile personality disorder. But in terms of Sauron, he's got to be one of the dumbest narcissists I've seen. He is praised for his masterful deceit and manipulation but he's genuinely stupid in that he doesn't have the self awareness (like the audience, particularly haladriels) to realize that Galadriel is a huge blindspot for him in everything.

I'm not JRRT and I can never hope to write anything near the world he built, but if the forces of good have any brain they would take advantage of this blindspot in some way instead of furiously kicking against the current and thus causing a lot of bloodshed and losses for their own side.

I hope you don't mind if I copy/paste your second message here since it's the continuation of this one... It avoids that I make two different posts :)

And also, just to add to my last ask: And this is why I think Gal jumped off the cliff. She still has some sort of emotional entanglement with this whole mess, which is a HUGE RISK if she were to try to play him at his own game (at this point). It's one thing to completely divorce any kind if feeling between me and my narc dad, who I've lived with for years, and slowly realized that he would never be the dad I am owed. It took a lot of pain and tears when I finally realized it (Dont feel sorry for me, I'm not even emotional about this anymore, I just see our past in this clinical detached way. I find narcs fascinating in same way a scientist studies a lab rat). But for Galadriel, her situation is different. She didn't have years by his side to slowly realize this. To slowly pick apart and coldly analyze Sauron's pattern of action, thoughts, and habits like I did with my own dad. Her feelings at that meeting were raw and unorganized, she was angry, more emotionally betrayed, unable to stop galloping until the very end, when she stumbled upon a last ditch idea (really it was a gamble) to get away as far as she can from him. Idk if its because of the crown wound or her own resolve that she fears is weakening her, but she needed distance asap. But I really think my idea is interesting and I hope to see more fics in the future that take on Galadriel using herself as his blindspot to weaken him. It doesn't have to he canon compliant, but it would also play well into how canon ends. Just some interesting food for thought. A lot of fics I see are pwp and redemption focused, which I already love, but I also kind of want to see them become like chess masters as manipulation. Gal in particular has so much potential and we know she has a very vindictive dark side. ;)

I know you said you said there was no need to feel sorry for you, and I actually admire your strength of character, but I still want to say this : no kid should have to suffer from having narcissist parents. I myself lived with a narcissist for years, so I know where you come from, even if it was of course a different dynamic. And you're right about not accepting to be a victim ! It's very hard, because it involves accepting that you deserve better, something that a narcissist will constantly make sure you don't. Needless to say that the Annatar/Celebrimbor relationship was very hard for me to stomach, because of the way Annatar behaved towards Celebrimbor. It felt very familiar, and I really didn't like it. I'm worried about my kid now, especially after reading your post... I'm worried about how my ex's behavior will affect him. Hopefully, I am able to balance things out. I'm a lot of things, but I'm damn sure I'm not a narcissist.

I won't comment the rest of your post, not because I'm not interested, but for the exact opposite reason : I couldn't add anything smart or relevant to what you suggested for the Haladriel dynamic :) Thank you for sharing these ideas with me !

[soapexclamationmark]

after months of promising i finally finished prime defenders season 1 and WHAT THE FUCK THAT WAS SO FUCKING GOOD. uhhhhh first of all the ashe shit?? like holy fuck im actually crying FUCK I HOPE HES FUCKING OK PLEASE BE OK I WANT HIM TO BE SO SO BADLY.. ok talking about something else now because FUCK that made me emotional anyways i feel like its weird to just put mark straight in prison after that but like whatever go off kings. like idk after his son is now trapped in his own body by a ??? and overlord is gone so idk if he even will go back to villain shit?? maybe thats just cope tho it just feels unfair. literally so excited for season 2 i have it uup on my phone and will go straight to listening after i make this post i wanna make a few predictions. mainly that im so scared what will happen to william i have some spoilers that like hes dying or whatever due to posts ive seen on here, but like him having possessed his own body doesnt even really feel like hes alive i nfeel like thats gonna continue to get even more fucked for him and im so scared hes my boy dont hurt my boy. idk how dakota is gonna take loosing ashe, he literally just said a few episodes ago that if hes unable to save someone he doesnt think he would ever vbe the same and like hey fuck THAT JUST HAPPENED. ik they were planning on going to dakota's aunt's but like now that the heroes are here idk what will happen to them. obki i think thats all i wanna say (more accurately i just wanna get back to listening) WISH ME LUCK I MIGHT FUCKING NEED IT

[implied-divinity]

im feeling sappy tonight. shoutout to the baby tboys begging to be forcemasced. one day you will become the man you want to be. within the kink its wonderful when another man grabs you by the shoulders and pushes you headfirst in. its wonderful to share in the joy he felt when he started. in reality know youre afraid. it takes guts to let yourself be who you want. dont take your feelings lightly and let yourself explore. you are not alone but its also up to you. take care. much love.

[mrsashketchum]

america ya! :D

definitely what happened in soul eater not! episode 1

[carcarrot]

do i really want to make individual drinks again

[bluinary]

With no hate to that previous post I just reblogged bc its valid in and of itself:

I get what they're saying, but it's actually *not* like Rick Riordan broke into your house and moved all of your furniture.

It's more like you *bought* furniture and installment services from Uncle Rick's Home Goods in 2008, a lovely niche shop focused on serving our underserved community of neurodivergents. And then, despite your furniture from that time still being exactly as it was when you bought it and billions of exact copies being for sale, when Uncle Rick said, "Hey guys, I'm going to make this same line of furniture out of completely different material, and Im adopting a new installation tactic, but it's going to stick to its general function and purpose," you giddily clapped your hands and said, "I can't wait to see the exact same thing made out of entirely different materials!" Forgetting, of course, that that is literally impossible.

And **then** you came home and found that Rick (whom you left the door open for!) moved all of your furniture slightly to the left. Also he replaced every item with near-identical copies.

"I liked it the way it was very much, thank you!" Then don't get the update, idiot. It is so optional to watch this show. You had to wait a week between every episode. You had to torrent every 40 minute video on a weekly basis, or drive to visit your one family member who won't give up Disney+ anyway. And when things started proving to be different, *you* made the conscious choice to see where things were going. Now you're mad and miffed that it wasn't as faithful an adaptation as The Lion King 2019 was to the original 💀. Coming from an AuDHDer, please understand that your neurodivergent rigidity can only be accommodated so much, my friend. Real people worked hard to make this. Different people from the book's production. *More* people than the book's production. And you know what's crazy is that, despite all of this, some of the tone of minor scenes may have changed, but nothing major truly did. We did it-- we got a faithful adaptation!! If it's not your cup of tea, if your mind's eye just cannot be topped, it's all good. Just say, "this seemed cooler in my head." But oh my god, I'm tired of the Rick slander. The overall crew slander. As if people didn't work their asses off to make this show happen at all. "Rick Riordan broke into my home--" you let him in. *You* watched the show; you let him in and consented to whatever the fuck he was going to do (which...wasn't even much).

If you are scared of coming home and finding your special interest moved slightly to the left, stop letting the author back in through your front door.

[universalcas]

deleted last post I think i'm going to keep this blog strictly fandom

[zukkaoru]

adding hopeful and happy love songs to my itfs playlist because i love dramatic irony and also crying

[comvi]

I always have to remind myself that I don’t need to push myself to make art, and I don’t need to apologize or feel bad for not making a lot of art. art is something that should make me feel happy, so if I’m pushing myself to the point of not enjoying it anymore, then I should just stop and calm down for a second. and take some time for myself. Art won’t disappear, it will always be there waiting for me again, its okay for me to take some time doing others things sometimes.

[viksalos]

i hope i am not only a mutual to you all but also a semianonymous benevolent presence that wishes you well when you’re online and going thru it <3

[kindnessoverperfection]

wild how the more i'm working on recovery. the more i realize how fucking bad i miss her.

[sophiethewitch1]

( So sick of being the only one who comes up with my sorts of fanfic ideas like wth... )

I saw this and , what Fanfic's do you Want Ideas for ?

I hope I can give you some Ideas (⁠人⁠ ⁠•͈⁠ᴗ⁠•͈⁠)

(⁠ㆁ⁠ω⁠ㆁ⁠)

oh no i didnt mean like, i was lacking in ideas or anything! i have too many ideas actually im surrounded by plot bunnies which i follow down countless rabbit holes. i just meant like ridiculously over complicated plots with unique concepts that are long fics.... the only fandom ive seen do anything similar is the sans x reader dudes lmfao

[gilliontidestriderchampionoftheu]

oh fuck lovebomb started playing and it set off my fight or flight instincts

[synchlora]

and so it happens once more

[sharpenote]

there's not always going to be an option to make things immediately better, but there will always be options to stop things from immediately getting much much worse, and you will always owe it to people less fortunate than you to keep things from getting worse, no exceptions