#i need to own it in book form wtf

[beananacake]

Wait how come no one told me Lore Olympus is AMAZING?

[irndad]

in every other life- s.r.

a/n: my soul is in this mf fic. there's a lil sexual tension lol! this is a behemoth of pining. so much fucking pining. this guy needs you like air wtf!! ALSO the poem is from a book, the lover's dictionary by david levithan. summary: the love of spencer's life is also his best friend, and she goes on a few dates. he does not handle it well, internally. ft. metaphysics by our dear genius boy. wc: 3.3k (holy shit)

While he recognizes that no direct injustice has actually been done to him, he can’t help but feel that it’s so unfair. 

Because Spencer had never actually wanted much of anyone, actually. He was too much of a child through his entire education, and he’d found anyone that he’d even consider had almost instantly had dismissed him. He’d grown used to a life where companionship wasn’t a desire that crossed his mind. 

But he wanted her. 

His lovely friend, his coworker, who was the kind of lovely that it feels unfair you’d ever have to take your eyes off of. She’s the best person he’s ever met, the sort of wonderful you read about but never convince yourself you’ll ever see. He knows the shape of her, has her form memorized from watching, waiting for her to step into the office every day.  

It was only a matter of time until he wasn’t the only one with his eye on her. 

She’s actually absurdly easy to want. There’s nights where they watch something, often what he picked, Doctor Who or some other science fiction which would be great if he could focus on anything but her. Her warm disposition ruminating his too-small apartment with a kind of light that follows his every movement. He’d adore her even if she wasn’t, but it’s impossible to ignore how beautiful she is- the kind of pretty that you hardly expect to see in real life. 

“Hey you,” her so-sweet voice is what breaks him out of his daydreaming, and he looks up at her lovely face smiling down at him. Fondness seeps through her tone, and it’s everything he can do not to preen that her first thought at seeing him is one of pleasure. 

“Hey back,” he says, greeting her with a warm grin of his own. “How was your weekend?”

It’s a calculated question. 

She had canceled their weekly movie night. He’d tried not to look too disappointed, like the idea of her next to him on his couch, of her nimble fingers raking through his unkempt hair while something nice, but far less wonderful than his company played in the background wasn’t all that was keeping him going. These days, and he knows it’s likely delusion, that she sometimes seems to gaze back at him with a similar sort of desperation, hooded eyes and tenderness. 

It’s a liminal space, those nights. How can people be two things at once? You cannot be both in love and not. In the low-light of his place, under his blanket- it’s like Schrodinger’s experiment. She can’t love him like a friend and more at the same time- it resists the laws of physics. She is his best friend, a fact he knows as sure as gravity and the elements, and believing anymore than that- it’s asserting an impossibility. 

When they’re alone together, though. It seems like the impossible exists. 

But she’d canceled it, something she hadn’t done for the months they’d been engaging in their little tradition. So there had to be a reason. She sits next to him, her desk next to his. 

She looks a little disheveled, only in an adorable way- but a little like she’s been busy, like her flow is disrupted.

“It was good! I finally went out with that guy Penelope’s been begging me to let her set me up with.”

It’s all that he can do not to freeze up. 

Penelope has been trying to get her to go out with her friend Ben, which Spencer thinks is a stupid name, by the way, and secretly he’d been so, so pleased when she had brushed off the invite. It’s a dangerous thing, hope. He tries not to have too much of it, tries to savor the thought of her, of more for moments of particular vulnerability. It’s treacherous, to want her the way he does. He knows he can’t let himself feel it all the way. 

And logistically- romance is not a reason for a valid reason for him to be panicking the way he is, but all he can think about is the physics. Two opposite things cannot be true at the same time. 

“You know, studies suggest that even now, the majority of couples are meeting in person or through friends over any other medium.” 

It hurts to say. She’s part of a couple, one half a whole that he doesn’t complete. 

“Seriously? I’d have thought it’d changed by now. I guess it’s safer to date someone you know.”

She’d date someone she knew? Is that what she prefers? 

“How did it go?” He hears Emily ask, and this conversation is already the bane of his existence.

“Guys, it really wasn’t a big deal! We got dinner, it was just a little thing.”

Spencer isn’t experienced in dating, but he does know that dinner is a serious date. Coffee is a smaller thing, but dinner-

Dinner means she got pretty for him. Probably picked out a dress for the evening, spent time on a carefully manicured look. Spent hours of her precious, rare, time on him. 

It’s not fair how much he fucking hates this guy. 

“Dinner is not nothing!” Penelope squeals, and he would love to share in her excitement, except it kind of feels like a piece of his heart is being shredded. 

“Dinner means coming up to my place, have coffee, oh look who doesn’t have her hair done-“

Please kill me, he thinks. Please. 

“Oh, that definitely did not happen.”

Thank god. 

Except he can’t miss her flush, how her expression shifts- and he has the sickening feeling he’d be hearing that guy’s name again. 

When they all settle around the table, her doe eyes focused on gruesome images that were the exact antithesis of her spirit, he couldn’t help but feel that even if it hurt, there was finality. 

The cat was out of the box. Two things cannot be true at once, and so only one is- she does not love him, at least not the way he does. 

Ben, is not in fact, going away. 

If he had more willpower or self-preservation, Spencer would keep his distance from her, but the truth of it is that as much as he wants to be the person she turns to, her smile is most of why he can stand his job anymore. 

It’s a Tuesday, and everyone is grumbling about being pulled in early in the morning, but he’s just happy to have a reason to leave the house.

“Spence!” He hears her excited voice carry, the pretty sound picking his ears up at once. “I got you coffee. It’s hazelnut, and it’s like, 90% sugar. You’re gonna love it.”

She beams at him, and he takes it in his hands. Their hands brush, and he tries so hard not to notice how soft her hands are. Her name is on the cup, and an unconsenting fantasy of her name meaning that he’s hers creeps into his mind before he can bat it away.  

But her cup says Ben. 

“Thanks,” he says her name, tries to sound measured and friendly. “Coffee date?”

She preens, and god, if this guy doesn’t get how lucky he is it might be thing thing that actually sends him over the edge after all these years.

“Just a quick thing, we were just in the same place and he bought me a coffee, I’d already gotten yours.”

If there’s two roles he can fill and he doesn’t get to pick, if he’s stuck with friends, he’s gonna be great at it, and he’s gonna be grateful. Because knowing her is a grace in itself, the kind of thing you should could yourself so lucky to have. 

“He sounds like a great guy,” he hears himself say, “I’m glad you’re doing this.”

It’s the right thing to say. He’s sure of it. The thing he’s not sure of is why the smile she offers him doesn’t reach her eyes. 

The next time he notices the cracks in their relationship, it’s when they’re out. She’d suggested this bookstore-cafe kind of thing, and he’d jumped at the thought, all of his favorite things in one afternoon. He’d felt foolish spending so much time picking out his outfit out, wearing the blazer she’d once complimented-he’d actually stuttered so hard in thanks that Morgan laughed for a full minute when she left the room- but she always looked beautiful, and he knows he sometimes pales in comparison. 

“Oh, I love this one!” She thumbs over the spine of a thin book of poetry. She’s wearing a forest green sweater that hugs her frame, and a bracelet hangs on her delicate wrist. He loves looking at her, though he tries to conceal it. His goal of being a supportive friend includes trying not to make it that known how gone for her he is. 

“I don’t read too much poetry,” he admits, “But I’m sure you have excellent taste.” 

Her keen eyes skim through the pages intently, clearly seeking out a specific passage before stopping, gaze alight with recognition. 

Her tone is molasses-sweet when she begins reading, and his heart skips a beat.

“When I say be my lover,” her voice hitches, reverent of the quote and he is reverent of her, “ I don’t mean ‘let’s have an affair. I don’t mean Sleep with me. I don’t mean Be my secret. I want us to go back to that root. I want you to be the one who loves me. I want to be the one who loves you.”

It feels impossible to look away from her, doe eyes practically sparkling in the low light of the shop, and there it is. His heart’s in his throat. Of all the things you could have told Spencer he’d experience, hearing her lovely voice wrap around the words be my lover in hushed tone, in sacred sweetness, would never ever be one he’d guess. 

He’s not sure how he feels about the multiverse theory, but right now, he can feel all the versions of himself pressing right up against him. Can see into lives he doesn’t get to live, lifetimes where his love isn’t a buried, worn-out tattered thing to keep his ever-frigid chest warm. Versions of himself that in this very moment can smile back at her, warm and open and kind, and kiss her perfect smile. 

Because he would be her lover. He would come home to her, spend the rest of his life building a home that she could fit  into. It’d be easy, actually. She’s easy to imagine- nights of laughing in a shared kitchen, evenings where her company is a fine wine, sipped at leisure with the comfort of knowing it’s never going to slip from your grasp. 

“I like that,” he says, voice too vulnerable for his own good, eyes unable to tear from the eye contact. “I really like that.” 

In the root of it, he already is her lover. He is the one who loves her. She’s just not his. 

It comes to a head on a Friday. It’s a few weeks from he book shop, and the air feels heavier between them now. The last handful of Fridays he’s sat with the ghost of what used to be their plans, empty time lingering where in its’ place used to be her company. 

He doesn’t know if she’s been with Ben. He tries not to think about it. 

The sound of her voice lingers in his mind, sweet and bitter in his mind like old lemon candy, the kind his mother would save for special occasions. He’d spend any amount of money he had to hear her lovely voice say those words to him out of the context of a poem. 

At work, they seem almost normal. Like one of them wasn’t desperately in love with the other; like a genius and his lovely, incredibly empathetic, kind best friend. In the field, their actions flow together seamlessly. She is always the first to listen and to understand (and god, isn’t it intoxicating to have someone meet you in understanding) and there is nothing to suspect is off.

But there’s still a cloud lingering. The poem- the soft melody of her voice curling around the words, the request of it all, the way she had sounded so wanting- and then, there’s Ben. 

She doesn’t mention Ben to him, of course, but Penelope does. Penelope, all bows and bright colors and cheeriness keeps bringing the absolute worst news to Spencer with a smile on her face. 

He’s taking her out for drinks! Oh, he’s reading her favorite book, do you know what it is?

This anger isn’t an emotion that he’s familiar with. A roar of possessiveness, the bite of it not tempered at all by rationality. Has he touched her?

It seems almost a tradition at this point when she shakes him out of his jealous storm of thought.

“Spence?” she muses, “You alright?” They’re alone at his desk, everyone having fled for their own evening and weekend plans. This was one of the Fridays that she had agreed to spend with him, and he wonders if he’ll be able to handle the scent of her shampoo so close after such a lapse of the sensation. Will all of his judgement go where he can’t follow?

“Yeah,” he says, tucking his papers into his bag, “I’m excited for tonight.”

His place is actually a short walk from the office. He’d been embarrassed to show her the place at first. It’s all function over fashion, and a bit cramped, but she’d looked at as though it was made of something more, something good. She didn’t even tease him. It had actually been her idea, to start these movie nights. 

Ironic, really. 

The walk was pleasant, the weather a little frigid but still nice, and she looks beautiful under the setting sun. It’s incredible to him, how her lashes catch the light and make her irises look like polished stained glass. His favorite color. Through the looking glass of another life, he sees a version of himself that gathers her up in his arms. In this daydream, she grants him one of her smiles that seems to carry its’ own light, and leans into his body like it’s the only thing that keeps her steady. It’s so clear. On the other side of the veil, he kisses her reddening nose, and keeps her warm himself. 

In the here and now, Her coat is long, and hangs low by her ankles. It’s an elegant thing, like the woman who wears it, and Spencer would be grateful for a lifetime of just looking.They stop in front of his door, some invisible force stopping him from entering. 

She sheds the coat inside his home. It smells like the candle she got him for his birthday, a reminder of her grace. He’s saved a bottle of wine for them, a sweet thing for the sweetest thing he’s known. 

“I’m sorry,” she speaks the warmth of the beverage on her tongue, and it should feel abrupt but it doesn’t.

“What for?” He can’t imagine what she would have to apologize for. 

“I know things have been…off between us,” she says carefully, considering the phrasing of each word. He watches her with a reverence, his hazel eye brimming with affection with nowhere to go. “You’ve been so great through it.”

Her legs are thrown across his own, and she’s dangerously close to sitting in his lap, but not exactly. He’s missed having her this close, the last time she’d been in his orbit was before she’d had reason to be gone. She smells floral. He fights With limited filtering through his already treacherous mind he thinks, He can’t take this from me. I still get her like this. 

“I’m not entirely sure what it is.” 

She slowly shuts her eyes, go for a moment to somewhere he can’t follow. Her cheeks are rosy from the cold. 

“This whole Ben thing.”

“Oh.”

Logically, it always had to come back to this. Someone else had the good fortune to know her like this, to be the person she reads poetry to in deep meaning to. 

He’s been stealing moments from someone who’s not his to take them from. 

“I don’t even know how I wanted you to react.” she murmurs, staring at the rim of her glass. 

“I just want you to be happy” His voice is something low, grit in the sound of it. His hand rests on her thigh. There’s warmth blanketing the room and he wants to kiss her. He wants to kiss her all the time. 

She laughs, but it’s not her normal laugh. It’s tinny and a little bitter. He pushes his luck, and reaches out to brush the side of her face, moving the hair but still holding her face. Her breath smells like strawberry wine and temptation. 

It feels different tonight. Low light and tension that could be sliced with wire. Every part of her is in reach, and something in the air makes all of this talk of relativity, of physics, moot. 

Like maybe he’s not in the only world they don’t end up together. 

Her face is warm and soft under his touch and he loves the sight of her. He’s never touched her like this. Every point of contact feels electric, addicting. 

“What is it? The Ben thing?” He doesn’t know what he’s expecting to hear. What he wants, is for her to tell him that it doesn’t matter anymore, that she picks him-

“I only went out with him the once.”

“What?”

“I told Penelope I was still going because it made her happy and she said I couldn’t keep going to your apartment and reading you poetry and call that romance.”

Romance? 

Wasn’t it romance, though? 

Her eyes widen in something akin to horror. 

“Shit, Spence- I’m sorry, that is so fucked of me to say-“

“You,” he tries to say calmly, “aren’t going out with Ben.”

She blinks. 

“No?”

He has spent so much time living in other lives, existing in the minds of versions of himself he wasn’t lucky enough to be. Drinking coffee imagine a life colored in her presence, falling asleep yearning for the presence of something lighter than what he has to carry. 

He can’t exist in two places. That was the entire basis of the experiment. 

He moves his other hand to hold hers, and somehow she’s shifted to being on top of him, and he looks up at her with unwavering desire. 

Spencer isn’t good at wanting people, but it comes naturally with her. Less of an action and more an urge, a course of motion to which he is at the mercy of. This is what leads him to close the gap between them, and kiss her. It’s 

Her delicate fingers run through his hair, and she can’t be close enough, please, and he could spend the rest of his life kissing her, actually. He probably will spend the rest of his life thinking about the soft sigh he pulls out of her. 

“I want it to be me,” he manages to say through shallow breath, still so close that his lips brush hers every other word, “I want to be the one you pick. I want it to be me.” His hazel eyes seem to shift in the moment, swirling with emotion. 

She brushes a lock of his overgrown hair out of his face. He normally shaves when he sees her, but he’d been so busy that he’d forgotten, and felt embarrassed of it now. That is, until she runs her index finger along the edge of his jawline.

It’s then she leans down and kisses him again, pliant and good, his hands around her waist. He breathes a prayer into her mouth, one that hopes that she never ever comes to her senses about him. 

“Spence,” she says, her voice golden silk, a kindness.  “There was never anyone else to pick.” 

[juyendraws]

[Limbus Company] Faust’s Development (or Lack Thereof) in Intervallo 6.5

So Murder on the WARP Express came out and uh… The suspicions I had regarding Faust’s future arc ended up being confirmed. Faust is definitely not reaching out to the truth. I didn't expect the seeds for her story to be planted so soon, but here we are. It’s real. And you're probably thinking, “Uh… WTF are you talking about?” Let me explain to you what I mean.

The message of Library of Ruina is a critical part to understanding what's going on in Limbus Company. I will tell you straight-up here and now, absolutely nobody in the fanbase knows what the hell LoR is actually about. Nobody. And it is such a shame, because it has such a great message that absolutely nobody talks about. I'd love to tell you much more about it, but that involves long explications on Jungian Psychology, the Jewish Kabbalistic Tree of Life, and the story itself, which I don't wanna subject you to yet (I am saving my esoteric lore dumping for the video scripts I’m currently working on). What I will tell you, however, is that the lessons learned by Angela and Roland in LoR are all about opening oneself to everything that is possible in life. The ways in which they do this are:

(1) To listen to one's inner world, or intuition. Don’t just blindly believe whatever someone else says. Follow your own inner voice. 

(2) To listen to one's outer world, or reason. Don't just believe whatever you want to believe. Look at the facts and be receptive to others' opinions. 

That's all you need to know for now about this particular subject. The theme of opening oneself to infinite possibilities is one that carries over from LoR to Limbus Company, and it is present in every Sinners' story. Literally all of them were/are limiting themselves in one way or another due to their flawed beliefs. And each of them is on their own journey of self-realization, or in Jungian terms, “individuation.”

The Mirror Worlds also expand on this theme. They provide infinite ways of looking at the same subject, which sounds wondrous and exciting at first, but it really just reflects what's already there. Remember Yi Sang's and Heathcliff's arcs? For Yi Sang, the Mirror reflected his already-existing potential, while for Heathcliff, the Mirror reflected his surrender to a perceived fate. Mirror World Identities may offer additional combat prowess as well as insight into the characters/worldbuilding, but they end up being quite limiting due to their usage (basically “cheating”) and very nature (as "reflections"). 

Moreover, Goethe's Faust was something that repeatedly showed up in my research on Jungian Psychology. I kept finding Faust's story referenced in articles, academic journals, as well as the book I'm currently reading called Man and His Symbols. This book was written by Carl G. Jung and some of his most trusted followers, and it legitimately explains what Project Moon's mindset was while forming the world and stories of their games (I am not even exaggerating. I have to constantly pause my audiobook and write down notes on what I'd just read because it keeps indirectly revealing PM’s intentions for the series). Anyway, in one of Joseph L. Henderson's chapters named “Heroes and Hero Makers,” he talks about how the archetype of the hero cycle is represented in many stories. An aspect of this archetype essentially revolves around the “hero vs. villain,” or in Jungian terms, the “ego vs. shadow.” The hero must face off against the dragon and triumph. It’s about the development of consciousness through the "ego" (awareness that one exists and has an identity) mastering and assimilating the "shadow" (the parts about ourselves we don’t like or don’t acknowledge deep down). This archetype exemplifies the stage that’s supposed to take place during childhood and adolescence—it’s about growing up. If the hero fails to slay the dragon, i.e. a person fails to assimilate their shadow into their psyche, they become stuck in this state of immaturity. Henderson uses Faust as an example:

“One can see this theme, incidentally, in a well-known literary hero figure—Goethe’s character of Faust. In accepting the wager of Mephistopheles, Faust put himself in the power of a “shadow” figure that Goethe describes as “part of that power which, willing evil, finds the good.” Like the man whose dream I have been discussing, Faust had failed to live out to the full an important part of his early life. He was, accordingly, an unreal or incomplete person who lost himself in a fruitless quest for metaphysical goals that failed to materialize. He was still unwilling to accept life’s challenge to live both the good and the bad” (Man and His Symbols, page 121). 

Henderson is saying that Faust is reluctant to face life’s hardships, so he lets his unconscious aspects—his shadow, or Mephistophiles—control what he does because it’s easier for him to live that way. And as a result, he remains this underdeveloped, immature person. 

In Limbus, Faust’s shadow is Mephistophiles, the reflection of her inner pride and desire to learn more. The knowledge she gains from the bus, her ability to communicate with her IDs, is incapacitating her ability to develop as a person. She’s using it as a crutch. And her overreliance on this knowledge, ironically, reveals how truly ignorant she is. The literal shadow cast in Faust’s E.G.O is her IDs for these very reasons—she is afraid of not knowing what to do.

Anyway, the reason I brought up LoR’s message and the Mirror Worlds earlier is because it is very, VERY relevant to Faust’s arc. Each of the Sinners need to reach out to all the possibilities of life. To not just blindly follow their own beliefs or the beliefs of others, but to see the truth through their own eyes, unclouded by bias. Through her use of the Mirror Worlds, Faust goes, “Well, I’m already reaching out to all possibilities! I’m following my intuition and using reason!” And she technically is, but it’s paradoxical. She is using intuition and reason… But it’s all through the use of her IDs, which are both “herself” and “not herself” at the same time. So she’s still just blindly following her own beliefs and the beliefs of others; she’s only listening to her own opinions and copying down what others say to her, all at the same time. 

I noticed this while rereading key parts of the game again. In Episode 6-25, the Sinners discover the researchers’ experiments below Wuthering Heights. Faust was utterly oblivious as to what their goals were, and Dante commented on how odd her behavior was when she finally started talking.

Later in Episode 6-44, she urges them to find out who informed Erlking Heathcliff about the Mirror Worlds, causing them to pick up on the fact that she doesn’t actually know everything.

In Episode 2 of the 3rd Walpurgis Night, Faust freezes up when asked by Dante to give a more detailed explanation on the Library. She then gives soft confirmation that she is, indeed, in cahoots with her IDs.

Murder on the WARP Express spilled everything. As a result of being separated from Mephistopheles, she is forced to be without her IDs and must figure things out on by herself. Her complete cluelessness regarding what to do demonstrates her lack of any true life experience. She acts like a newborn baby attempting to walk. However, while she is clueless, she is not helpless. She, in fact, does have the potential to grow if she puts her mind to it. Faust exhibits curiosity, ingenuity, and amiability when she must undergo the trials of the WARP train incident.

She takes interest in the perspectives of the other Sinners when asking for help. She is able to discover new things and problem-solve by herself.

Faust can learn on her own and make friends if she really wanted to.

...Unfortunately, she falls back to her dependency on Mephistopheles at the end of the story and closes herself off once again.

Faust refuses to experience any pain that could otherwise spark a realization about herself. She is harming her ability to form relationships with others, as she habitually ignores them or prevents them from giving her advice. She actively denies herself the chance to truly learn about the world and come to her own conclusions—she is impeding her own personal growth. 

Out of all the Sinners, Faust is probably the least developed as a person. Yi Sang, Ishmael, Heathcliff—even those who are about to undergo or are still undergoing their arcs such as Don Quixote, Rodion, or Meursault—are fully-formed people. Faust is not. She is still stuck at the stage of having evolved ego-consciousness while everyone else around her is already achieving the Self. She's worryingly far behind. It’s honestly really sad to watch. 

I was debating on whether or not I should make this post for a few reasons. For one, I’m unable to read Goethe’s Faust at the moment, as I am still preoccupied with my research on Jungian Psychology and Jewish Mysticism for the previous two PM games (Lobotomy Corporation and Library of Ruina). I didn’t want to say anything too specific about Faust’s story until I read her book. Secondly, this topic is really difficult to explain without delving into the Jungian elements in the PM universe. I felt I would end up confusing people if I just came out of nowhere with this post; I initially wanted to speak more about the foundational elements before anything else. 

Nevertheless, I feel that this knowledge I had on Faust, Jung, and PM’s lore was relevant enough to share. I was SHOCKED at how accurately I had predicted Faust’s future character development. The only other person I told this to was my younger sister, and I said, “Faust basically found a loophole through the lessons Angela and Roland learned in LoR. She’s only believing whatever she wants to believe, while also only believing what other people tell her. She’s using Mephi and her IDs as a crutch… I think that’s why she’s alone a lot of the time.” AND I ENDED UP BEING RIGHT. I had to stand up multiple times while playing through the Intervallo with my sister because of how excited I was at this. 

Murder on the WARP Express demonstrates that a good understanding of the games’ themes and of Jungian literary analysis is absolutely essential to figuring out each Sinners’ arc in Limbus. Deciphering, for example, the specifics of Faust’s connection with Gesellschaft is not-so-much valuable as having a strong grasp on what aspects of her character PM is trying to explore. “What is the text communicating? How does it relate to Jung’s ideas? What is the lesson this character is meant to learn?”

That is what matters at the end of the day. 

[basimdasasonst]

snw spock rant

i've been watching strange new worlds recently, and the prevailing feeling i always leave with, no matter the episode, is that i would like it if not for spock.

don't get me wrong; i'm a tos fan to my core. star trek launched me into a love of sci-fi and space fiction and is the whole reason i'm in university studying astrophysics, why i'm writing a book using said inner astrophysics nerd, why i have any sense of purpose to me, cliche as it is to say. star trek was an integral, important part of my upbringing, and continues to be one of my main interests to this day. i love jim (and i love snw jim! especially after aos kirk (shudders)) and i love bones (i really hope he joins snw soon....leonard mccoy save us....save us leonard mccoy...) and i love scotty and i love spock. but not snw spock.

here's the thing about spock: his internal character conflicts have always had some sort of root in him being not enough/not vulcan enough/not human enough/etc. his struggles with relationships as a result – because, lets face it, both humans and vulcans are social creatures and need friends otherwise society as a whole wouldn't be a thing on either world – make up a core part of his character. in tos, his relationship struggles were nearly purely platonic, with a few offhand remarks about stray crew members having crushes on him (uhura in early first season, chapel in amok time). 

s1e4 "the naked time". spock, right before losing his figurative Marbles, sees "love mankind" written on a wall. later, he goes on to say to jim: "when i feel friendship for you, i'm ashamed." other posts have done and will do better jobs of explaining it, but in conjunction with "sinner" written on the turbolift near jim (about not being able to form lasting relationships with other crewmates because its too much of a power imbalance), the writing on the wall (literally) is that spock is inherently ashamed of his humanity. he has been raised on vulcan to be a vulcan.

his internal conflict is always about him struggling with his human side. he struggles with friendship, he struggles with his humanity, he struggles to be something that people don't immediately deem wrong. as a gay man, and certainly as a young queer child first watching tos, i felt closest to spock not just because of feeling ashamed of part of my cultural heritage, but also because of repression. spock represses these feelings of insecurity, of friendship, of the need for connection in others in a certain way, so much that it causes him pain. growing up gay, his pain was very real to me. writing on the wall. he’s silly and a cool character of course, but he resonated with me in a way that, at the time, i didn’t have anything to resonate with. 

what does this all have to do with me hating snw spock so much? i want to preface this by saying i went into snw really wanting to love it. i saw the intro and the planets and the nebulae and the black hole and the music and was like "damn, this is fucking cool." star trek, to some part of me, was also about the space exploration aspect as much as the characters. the whims of wacky crewmembers and sentient rocks. the impossibly infinite things nature can form on its own. snw looked fun. i really wanted to like it. and you know what? i almost like it.

except for spock. quite literally the only character i have any quarrels with is spock. dehydrated, glistening, oiled up spock. wtf. why is he in a relationship with t'pring? why does he (almost) cheat on her with chapel? and why chapel??????????? chapel has a one-sided (VERY CLEARLY ONE SIDED) crush on him in tos. why is it two sided now. 

what, and i can't stress this enough, the fuck? 

and don't come into my house and tell me "oh you know, it makes sense, because, because then spock gets all hard and Logical and shuts himself off and obviously the reason for that is a breakup–" No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! no no no no. i don't care if it makes “sense” it feels so intrinsically wrong to his character. i’ve had much more character development from losing life-long friends than ending barely a year long relationships. spock wouldn’t immediately shut down because he kissed a girl once and then she said “acshually sowwy my work is more important” when that’s the exact sentiment he echoed to t’pring when they broke up.

more importantly, snw spock barely has friends. he calls pike a friend once or twice, but i hardly believe that they're friends. he barely interacts with la'an or erica, he has a few passing conversations with uhura in season 1 on episodes about her that don't really carry into season 2, and otherwise he's just There. he doesn't have friends in snw. the writers are prioritising him having a romantic relationship over a friendship. snw spock needs a friend way more than he needs a bone buddy. and it really rubs me the wrong way the way the relationship with chapel was portrayed to be first friendly and then romantic. i never believed for a second that he and chapel were friends – despite the screenwriters trying. every time they talked prior to s2e5 there was this odd undercurrent of sexuality that seemed to follow them. lingering looks, touching fingertips, long pauses – it was so unbelievably awkward and obvious that they were setting up a relationship between the two. i mean, for fucks sake, s1e1 uhura calls chapel "spock's girlfriend." boy did my blood boil when i figured out that was where the show was going. s1e5 was actually painful for me to get through (chapel sits down, gives spock relationship advice, giggles, smacks him upside the head, and calls him an idiot. 2017 wattpad is calling, they want their material back) and i had to take two full days to get through s2e5 because i was in anguish the whole time. it was a constant mental barrage of "spock wouldn't say that," and "spock wouldn't do that," and "this is not spock."

for the most part, i couldn't figure out why spock and chapel's relationship specifically bothered me so much. i mean i have my quarrels with la'an and jim, and i really don't give much of a care about pike and batel so why was spock and chapel grating on me so badly? was it because it was being shoved in my face? was the writing that much more atrocious than the others? was it the decimation of spock's character?

it was, i found, a product of all of those and the issue of queerness. 

look; i've survived sherlock bbc, i’ve survived the golden age of quotev fandom in 2016, i've bared witness to so much queerbaiting in my life that i don't even bother trying to hope for any sort of main character queer representation anymore. we’re going to be a footnote until someone does something about it. unfortunately, that’s not going to be me because i’m not a film director. so i look the other way and steam about it on twitter or tumblr or whatever hoping that i, like many other frustrated queer people, get noticed one day in the far future when it’s ok to have a queer romance in mainstream, it’s ok to have a queer main character, and it’s ok to let it simmer slowly and burn instead of jumping into it to say “look guys we’re woke!!!!!” (star trek literally was the pioneer for most of these things back in the day. but that’s another discussion on the heterosexualisation of progressive media that i wont get into. it just feels bitterly funny that this is happening to star trek of all things.) these days i just pretend the relationships dont exist and skip over them when they happen. i've developed a sixth sense for when weird, forced heterosexuality is about to be shoved down my oesophagus. i've just gotten used to it. 

but sphapel (or whatever it's called) burned through me. i've never felt quite this angry at an on screen relationship. and, trust me, i saw AOS. i didn't like spuhura then and i don't like it now but i wasn't angry so much as i was just tired and annoyed. but spock was – and always is to me, confused, queer 10 year old me – a queer character. his struggle with humanity, with friendship, with fitting in, with just being as a perceived "other" was what made him an interesting character to me to begin with. he was a certain outlet to vent that frustration for being "wrong" in society no matter how hard you try to conform one way or another. the knowledge that even if you are different, you still have people backing you up. his fucking friendships, guys. jim and bones. yes i know his friendship with jim is also inherently romantic dont worry im spirk #1 shipper but that’s not relevant here because, and forgive me for being pessimistic, i don’t believe for a second that these writers are going to lean into spirk anytime soon. their relationship went beyond friendship or romance or any of that stuff. coughs in the roddenberry footnote.

what i’m trying to say here, in layman’s terms, is that giving a friendless character a romantic relationship is exactly how you alienate a character. name one person you know in real life that can survive healthily with one single relation, that being their romantic partner that they have no friendly base of. you can’t. that’s a toxic relationship. that’s not romance, that’s alienation. that’s isolation. that’s loneliness. and that’s the OPPOSITE OF WHAT EXPLORING SPOCK’S HUMAN SIDE IS SUPPOSED TO DO TO HIM .

by stripping spock of his friends, and forcing his arc to be purely romantic, you have essentially stripped the character of all he is. i'd be mad if chapel was a dude, too, honestly speaking. but beyond that, corralling spock of all people into a heterosexual romantic relationship is – well. it's a choice i don't think i can ever agree with. the best way i can describe such a choice is like a dissonant chord – you can pluck the notes and they'll sound fine on their own, but when you put them together they will clash. there is nothing you can do with your fingers to play the same notes and not cause the clash. they will always clash. it is dissonance ringing through you, an inherent wrongness coupled with writing that is lazy and clearly meant for a very specific audience. snw spock is bad writing, fanservice, and extraordinarily out of character. notes i can tolerate on their own, but strung together – dissonant.

i really want to like snw. fuck, i love la'an, i love erica, i love jim (!!! thank you paul wesley for making him a nerd, and kind (glares at AOS), and generally a jim kirk that i can look at and say, "yeah, that's jim alright"), i love uhura, i love una, i love m'benga and i love pike but i hate spock. i really, truly, cannot like snw when i have to pause the show and take an irritated deep breath in every time i see chapel approach spock. it's – frustrating, and alienating, and wrong. so, so wrong. 

[littlefingies]

I'm an elder millennial, which means that I came up in That One Fandom (let's call it Wizard TERF Fandom, or WTF for short.) It wasn't my first fandom, but it was formative. I had some big icks about the last book at the time it was published, and they keep popping up in my head recently, and I was trying to figure out why.

And then.

In the last book they tried to Do A Redemption, and I didn't think it worked, and I don't like the way they handled it.

So I'm going to briefly write about Snape and then talk about Izzy and I think it'll be pretty clear.

Snape sucks, obviously. Let's go through why.

Has friend

Has friend he sees as One Of The Good Ones

Has unrequited Feelings for friend, handles it poorly

Handles it very poorly when friend is in a happy relationship

An Opportunity! Sells friend's relationship and family to the Big Bad in exchange for being presented with Entitlement To Friend As Payment

It didn't work! Sad and angry!

Apparently redeems themselves or whatever.

Look. I just.

I think that trying to get your Crush's partner and family murdered is a really bad thing.

I think that even the thought that they would be PRESENTED TO YOU AS A REWARD FOR YOUR SERVICE is like. Unforgivable. That's fully "hey I don't see you as a human or respect your agency" behavior. Which is especially bad coming from someone who already saw you as "One Of The Good Ones". Or like, "I Find Some Inherent Quality Of Yours Despicable But I'm Okay As Long As You Act A Certain Way (and also fuck me)".

I'm told that this is a very Catholic opinion, but that's something I think they should feel crushing guilt about forever. And while the people that they harmed may choose to forgive them for their own reasons, at no point do they earn it. Forgiveness is a gift.

I actually don't think I need to talk about Izzy.

Except to say, if I had to choose between "shot in the leg" and "kill my partner/family so I can be given to someone I didn't choose", take my leg please.

I'm also not saying that people who see Izzy as the hero of ofmd agree with JKR about something, but I'm not NOT saying that...

[sun13koi]

another vent uh it’s nothing major so I’ll put the cws I think might be needed just in case. No tags this time.

Cws for possible mentions of yelling, self expression suppression, mockery, copying, etc

In my family, it’s like I can’t do anything without a shitty half baked copy of it coming from my brother. TV shows? He has to watch them too. Friends who are at least twice his age? Too bad, his friends too in his opinion. Not even the stuff most kids find weird- therian masks and quadrobics? He’ll look like shit doing both, and won’t stop bragging about it. It feels like a mockery to my life, every time he copies me. He’s even flirted with my fucking boyfriend, who’s twice his age??? Wtf???

So as you may know, I got converse the other day. Y’know, the shoes that are popular because of art, embroidery, beads, and painting on them? That I bought specifically to do these things? My mom called it ‘ruining’ them. Like what? I’m sorry? First of all, I didn’t even do it on the fabric part of the shoe that would make it unable to be worn with the supplies I own. I painted on the white bits and the bottom. Also- I painted things that express ME. I painted trans flags, the paw lines on the top, theradelta(◯⃤), quotes, etc to express MYSELF- what I like, what makes up me, and what COMFORTS ME- and she called it ruining them. Now sure, If it were any other kind of shoe, if I hadn’t mentioned it before hand several times, if I hadn’t asked for permission, etc- I could see how it would VAGUELY be seen as that. But come on. This just felt like you were saying that my personality, beliefs, and lifestyle ruined me as a person, despite all of them being harmless. And to make matters worse, she’s even more upset because my brother who has NO sense of ‘just bc they did it doesn’t mean I have to’, decided to draw blobs that I can’t even recognize as things on his brand new Nikes.

Mine cost 20 and were an after thought. His cost 50, and he got two pairs. But when I craft on the thing I got to craft on, it’s RUINING them. Heh. Thanks, mom.

and if it were just this, I might have been a little upset, but this isn’t the first time, hence the examples I gave previously

and now despite me already doing all the research, she’s not letting me get a binder either. Even though we have a place that would give them out for FREE with CORRECT SIZING. I really don’t want to sound like a brat or picky. But is it just me, or does this feel really suppressing? I felt lucky I could get a camp halfblood shirt without her reading g every single Pjo book first.

In summery, my mom just indirectly called my self expression a waste of time, effort, and a pair of shoes, my brother can’t form an original idea and it’s made me possessive over everything and everyone I love, and I don’t know what to do <3

If you read this, uh… thanks. It means a lot to me that you’re willing to listen to this shit

and if you’re my online dad uhhh sorry for not just ranting to you like usual I don’t wanna ruin your ren faire day

EDIT: here are some photos of the ‘ruined’ converse. It doesn’t matter what she thinks since they make me extremely happy, but I just think it adds to the overall madness I feel like she has

There are lyrics from the moon will sing on the front but I couldn’t get a good photo. Everything involved I did myself and is incredibly personal to me, and I was so proud of how they turned out. I also TAUGHT MYSELF how to lace on the beads without tutorials. So yeah. Thanks for encouraging my creativity and expression, mom.

[probablyintensemuses]

INCOMING: A DESPERATE COLLEGE STUDENTS OATHBOUND PREDICTIONS!!!!

CC @mageofspace__ on IG

TRACY!! I JUST FELL TO MY KNEES IN THE MIDDLE OF WALMART! THE WHOLE GANG!! I’m so happy to see Valec, Alice, Will, & Mariah in the flesh like wtf! But while we are here, I want to talk about some of my Oathbound predictions…because I can. ❤️⚔️💙

P.S. IF YOU HAVEN’T READ LB OR BM I SUGGEST YOU DO NOT CONTINUE! Spoilers ahead!

• Okay first, I truly believe that Bree has had her squire and kingsmage all along, Nick and Sel. I mean just with the relationships between those three, there is no way it goes any other way.

also, Alice will wake from her coma and have somehow inherited powers from Will as she was LITERALLY breathing his aether signature in. Like I’m not 100% sure how that would work, but we’ve seen it in media before, take Monica Rambeau and Wanda’s hex for an example! Maybe that interaction with magic will awaken Alice's own unique magic too, or maybe it's closely related to Bree again how the Mesmer did too in LB.

Regardless, when she awakens I think bby girl will be given an even more important role in the finale of this series. Maybe like being Will's squire...

• it’s going to come out that not only is shadow daddy, IYKYK not spoiling for potential new readers who have no sense of self-preservation and are reading this anyways, is not only Sel's father but VALECHEZ’s! Like not only would that be pure comedy considering how they were at each other's NECKS in BM, but it makes sense as to why Sel was succumbing to his demonia so fast, faster than others, maybe because a little more demon than others…

•I think this new magic system that Tracy is cooking up is going to tap into Natasia and Faye’s relationship a bit more and even Sel and Bree’s.

I also think it’s going to be the solution to not only Sel’s demonia, but Bree’s bloodmark, and even abatement and all these fucking legendborn oaths. I mean think about the word OATH, practically meaning something one HAS to abide by. Vera took an oath of sorts with the blood mark “one daughter at a time for all time.” The legend born and their oath of service and all this, as I call it, greedy magic which shortens their life spans, the Merlins too! What if, just what if, Faye and Natasia found a way to combine both their forms of magic (root + aether + blood craft) and created something entirely new? Something so potent and powerful, defying these “oaths” or what you could call them, curses, to cure all these things…and what if since Bree is from Faye’s lineage, sel from Natasia, what if they can do it together too.

• I think we will learn more about the Morgaine. More on Nick….hmm. A lot of LB fans keep calling him boring, but with his mom's disappearance, and the fact that Tracy is too good of an author to simply leave his arc hanging, I don't trust it. Maybe he will even go rogue, I'm not too sure ATP, but don't sleep on Nick!

• Lastly for my final predictions…more like a pipe dream. I really, for the life of me, need Bree to pull a Wanda from episodes 8-9 of WandaVision with Shadow Daddy.

We know Bree is smart and clever, this ain’t new! So, I need her to take what she has learned from shadow daddy, and then pull a clean uno reverse, and get out of there! EXPEDITIOUSLY!

Then from there, I need her to find Sel and Nastia (preferably in some cute cabin in the woods, and Natasia needs to be a MILF) this revelation of Bree's survival prompts Natasia to discuss the above ^^^ She and Bree get to work! Sel is now cured and they can get these oaths removed!!! Once these oaths are removed, the REGENTS ARE TOAST, TOR TOO! Then we get to work on Camlann in book 4! Cuz that’s how tf Tracy does it! Period!!

THESE ARE JUST MY PREDICTIONS, NONE OF THESE ARE CANON!! All I have to say is I'm fucking so excited about this book and even though it's still two years out I'm trusting Tracy's expertise to bring us something DE-LI-CIOUS! Also is it too much to ask that if this is adapted for television to have it animated, we know how much Tracy loves and takes influence from anime... it's only fair, and I feel can make for a more accurate and dynamic visual medium.

That's all for now. PEACE.

[itgomyway]

former limiting beliefs i used to hold and how i let them go ♡

(disclaimer: these are based off of my own experience! share yours on your own blog 🥰)

“the 3d HAS to reflect the 4d just understand you have it in your 4d no matter what.” um there is no separation between the 3d and 4d when you are already 1 being (consciousness). theres no need to live in a separate entity known as imagination when its the same as the “3d” anyways. the concepts of “imagination” “physical world” or “3d” are just false forms of consciousness youve made up and personified it as real. they are not. only you are.

“the more you repeat your affirmations the more likely they will come” theres nothing to “do” or say that will bring me my desires since i am everything i already am my desires. the idea of “doing” anything to “get something” outside of me doesnt make sense when its all in me. affirmations can be used to “bring things to your awareness” but understand the affirmations themselves are STILL not bringing you anyway. just making you aware of things.

“dont check the 3d! you’ll be in a state of lack/showing yourself you dont have it!” PLS GIVE ME A BREAK?? why the fuck are you telling urself you are with someone but afraid to check their socials or for their notifications? either date someone u like or you dont think you have it. because lets be honest. if you really were in a relationship with your desired person the idea of “checking the 3d”- which u already claim IS your 4d- shouldnt be an issue. and if it is then something aint right but i wont judge!

“youre in a state of neutrality if you dont care ab not getting your desires and you dont have them” damn yall strict asf. you cant even be indifferent without it meaning something. you either have it or you dont. if im indifférent its bc i have it why stress? fucking decide already

“neville taught ab non dualism!” here we go. then why tf did you misinterpret his words like that and make it sound obnoxious? i believe he did, just like his teacher, teach non dualism (the power of awareness by him is great) but his teachings are a far cry from the nonsense most of you spew in his name. and dont even get me started on how neville used to refer to the law of assumption as the “law of consciousness” but i digress. if you separate yourself or any aspects of being then it isnt non dualism.*

going into my next point “you HAVE to read source to understand!!” i am so glad most of the law of assumption community is breaking free from this mindset cuz you infact do not HAVE to read anything. if you are the operant (main) power doesnt this mean you are your own source? oh i thought so…

“work on your self concept to manifest your sp if you dont have them your sc is shitty” well it wasnt shitty til you told me i had work to do 💀. once again there is NOTHING you need to do but “be”. working on your sc can help u feel better ab yourself for sure but its not required!

for supposedly limitless beings, a lot of yall are very limited. be careful who you get your advice from because personally i wouldnt take after someone whos too scared to text their sp- oops i mean significant other. (disclaimer: once again not bashing loa just the users who can’t decide that they believe and switch every other day. very common on law of assumption twitter!)

if you realize youve been limiting yourself this whole time and now youre like “what now-“ well as ive stated before, theres STILL nothing you need to do. youre not missing anything. this isnt a blog on why you dont have your desires, i cant tell you the answer im not your creator. (you also are everything so you in fact have your desires)

like non dualism, i hope to share this way of life with you as you’re not getting anything so theres no need for limitations. LIVE YOUR LIFE. if someone is advising you to fear your own power then ignore them cuz wtf! life is suppose to be fun not a rule book!

*disclaimer: i have nothing against neville goddard. i really like some of his teachings. however i would never go to one of his living students for advice, ESPECIALLY on twitter. not only do most parrot the same limiting beliefs he himself didnt hold, but most are obnoxious about the topic of the law of assumption. i don’t even “manifest” but if i were trying to and had them to go to I’d probably cry. if you really wish to read “source”, read The Power Of Awareness by Neville Goddard and Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle 💜 learn from the teachers themselves FIRST <3

© itgomyway

[witchthewriter]

𝑻𝒉𝒓𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝑮𝒍𝒂𝒔𝒔, 𝑨 𝑪𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒕 𝒐𝒇 𝑻𝒉𝒐𝒓𝒏𝒔 & 𝑹𝒐𝒔𝒆𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑪𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒄𝒆𝒏𝒕 𝑪𝒊𝒕𝒚 𝑹𝒆-𝑹𝒆𝒂𝒅

Okay, so I'm re-reading all of SJM's books (well, Throne of Glass series, ACOTAR & Crescent City) before the new CC3 book comes out. And I've had some thoughts and opinions ... (I would also love if people wanted to share their 2 cents!)

𝑻𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒔 𝒐𝒏 𝑻𝑶𝑮:

・Okay, I guess I'll never have the same exciting feeling when reading this series

・It feels like coming home, honestly.

・When the book ended, I just ... I didn't want it to be over, I felt like Aelin when everyone was going back to their own kingdoms - just stay until the end of Winter!

・I cannot say how much I love Abraxos; he PLAYS in the FLOWERS, and he FALLS IN LOVE. Like??? Can we get a lil book on the Wyverns SJM please! (because technically the game of thrones dragons are actually wyverns. Dragons have four legs and a pair of wings, wyverns have two legs and wins that attach to the front.

・I can't picture Lorcan perfectly in my head and that drives me crazy. And I was also againt Henry Cavill as Rowan, but I can't unsee it. After watching the Witcher...

・

𝑻𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒔 𝒐𝒏 𝑨𝑪𝑶𝑻𝑨𝑹:

・I honestly do think Feyre is a bit of a Mary-Sue. Even after all these books, I still don't understand why a mother would ask her youngest to look after the two eldest? Her illiterate youngest child?

・And why is Elan planting FLOWERS in the garden? Why not VEGETABLES? Ffs, or at least edible flowers like wtf.

・Nesta ... I'm one of the people who understand her, but also ... coming from poverty myself, I know what it's like to

・Also can Feyre fall into her female rage a bit? I just feel like she has a lot of pain that she's pushed down, and down and down. She needs to ... have more healing.

・AND HER BECOMING PREGNANT GOD REALLY, it just kinda ... I hate that trope. I only like this trope with Katniss and Peeta: that's how it's done right.

・Having two sisters mated to two best friends, but then the third sister and best friend may not be mated?? It's either all in or all out.

・I wish there was some explanation about the magic involved in not only the mating, but also the cauldron. It's all too ambiguous.

・AND WHAT MAKES MOR POWERFUL?! "Her power is truth." What. Does. That. Even. Mean.

・I did like A Court of Silver Flames though. I thought it was a brilliant book about Nesta's healing.

𝑻𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒔 𝒐𝒏 𝑪𝑪:

・It took me a while to get into the book, but once I did ... omg, I have even more characters that I love.

・And I cannot wait until the next book comes out! Although there were some aspects of the book that I found boring; like the viper queen (if I even got that right)

・Also the audiobook for CC & TOG are much more superior than ACOTAR. Even though they have a 'dramatised version,' there's an even better one on Youtube by the reader hag.

・I miss Lehaba so much

・And I saw somewhere that Bryce is the long-lost ruler of a Prythian court? And that Azriel might be one of the Princes of Hel?

・SJM does a great job at forming groups that you feel apart of

・Some people find Hunt boring, I don't ... I, well I rank him above Chaol. Ruhn is cool though, Bryce is incredible. Though I hate when I look up fanart of her and it's just a skinny girl with red hair? She's got golden skin, she's fit but curvy, and I want to see proper representation.

[imadethisaccounttpostonething]

i have opinions on half the new songs from hazbin and i'm telling them to the void known as the internet SPOILERS

don't worry guys. i know, i know you've ALL been waiting for MY opinion on the last two episodes- me, someone who doesn't even have a pfp picked out for this blog yet and whos only post is a bad edit i posted just to get the hyperfixation thought out of my head but- you've waited long eneugh. i'm here! i'm FINALLY going to share all my thoughts on the last two episodes of Hazbin Hotel... well, okay, mainly the four songs cause that's more my expertice but. whatever. buckle in bestie, we're going for a ride...

like i said, i'm mostly a song girlie, and as established you don't know who i am so me going "oh i thought that one line was cute" probably won't matter to you. so imma skip right to the first song, "Out For Love." AND HI! HELLO! I HAVE OPINIONS! THERE ALL NEGATIVE! okay, that's not true. i like... the person who plays Camilla's voice?? i think she sounds... nice? but oh my god this song was just. such a missed oppurtunity?

i already had to cut this section down cause i spent so much time making a list of what purpose musical songs tend to serve, but considering my point is that "Out For Love" doesn't do any of those things, i don't think i should waste so much breath on it. like. every form of media has their pros and cons on how to deliver inforation. books you can have the characters full un filtered thoughts. movies you can see all their facial reactions and little moments. musicals? in musicals, you get a song about them. and these songs, espicially in a show with a tight 22 minute an episode deadline and only 8 episodes total, EVERY song has to pull its weight and teach either us the auidence something or them the characters. and by the latter half of the season, it really needs to do both! and Vaggie, is a character who DESPERATLY needed a character establishing song and... didn't really get one. yeah, theres "Whatever It Takes" but.. she has to split that with Carmilla, who... really REALLY didn't need both the songs in that episode. everything we learned about in her half of the song could have just been a pretty quick conversation with Zariel. and as she tells him that she had to do whatever it takes to protect those we love, THEN we go back to Vaggie and she has her whole own song capatlizing on a similar theme, but also.. more? cause. we KNOW Vaggie loves Charlie. that's like. one of the few things we do know about her. and the thing i hate about "Out For Love" is that it doesn't tell us anything else about Vaggie or even Carmilla! AND IT DOESN'T TEACH VAGGIE ANYTHING! in "Whatever It Takes" Vaggie says she'll be Charlie's armor, which is probably the biggest piece of information we get about Vaggie as a person and who she is. cause she said armor. not a sword, that cuts the danger away. not a partner, that helps their lover through the danger. but rather, armor, that stops the danger from hurting their love, even if that ends up damaging the armor. what she could have learned from Carmilla, and what i think they were trying to get at but didn't, is she has to fight like she has something worth going home for? she can't be Charlie's armor cause she isn't indestructable. if she keeps going to take every hit for Charlie she's going to crumble. if THIS was a duet between Vaggie and Carmilla where Vaggie comes in with her martyr-istic opinions about herself towards Charlie, and Carmilla comes in like "girl. no." THAT would have been just. so much. better? cause with how it is, wtf did Vaggie learn???? like i get Carmilla tught her her fighting strat, but idc about that. the song came across as teaching her a moral lesson but it didn't. it's been WELL established that Vaggie loves Charlie. god. i just. really wish it was better. also, the chorus tries to rhyme "If you want to fight without gloves you better be fighting for love" and i just. like okay homie.

Rosie's advice to Charlie about her relationship was fine and all but god why didn't Charlie and Vaggie have a fucking song about it?? like, i'll get into it in a second but my saphic ass has been waiting all season to get my lesbian duet and i got a thirty second reprise of someone elses song instead of the apology/acceptence duet where they reaffirm their love or whatever. and i'm blaming Rosie. ... which i instantly feel bad about cause i really like Rosie and the song she got out of Charlie but. i have to blame someone so. sorry girlie. i don't really have a lot to say about "Ready For This" mostly cause i've listened to the trailer so many times i just think of it as the trailer song? idk, i did like it but it didn't really hit me as much as i thought it would. i mostly wrote this cause i was so mad about Vaggie's two songs and the other two i think are fine. but i do think Alastor's part was really good cause it helps forshadow whatever the fuck is going on with him. love that creepy bastard.

uggggggh. okay. listen. before i say anything else, i want it well established i'm gay af. i came out of the womb with my Doc Martens and thirty different flannels on and ready for action. my hair is short, i played soccer, insert whatever any other saphic/lesbian stereotype you want. go crazy. i've heard worse from people i know better. you can't hurt me. my point is... i was really hoping to get a Charlie and Vaggie duet, and.. i really wasn't expecting one. so when Vaggie walked into the room with Charlie and music started playing i got so excited....... only for it to be thirty seconds long and it being the reprise of Lucifer's father daughter song. like. am i the only one noticing the pattern of Vaggie picking up a second half of songs about a parent loving a child but applying it to Charlie instead? like... i thought this was cute!! but. there was so much they could have sung about to each other or establish for one another or prepare for or just. do. but it was... a reprise of Lucifer's song??? when it ended, i audily said alone in my living room. "awww. i mean. i'll take it". and that's. pretty much my thoughts still i guess but a little more bitterly? like. Dusk and Angel Dust got a whole duet about being losers together (which was also great and i do ship them at least a little) but the canon and supposedly most developed ship got. a. thirty second reprise as their only duet in the whole season. yay.....

finale was good! i also think Nifty killing Adam in the exact same fashion she stabbed all those already dead angels was like. the most fitting way for him to die if not by Vaggie's hand, and sense Vaggie already got at least slight vengence against Lute, this felt good. OH ANOTHER THING ABOUT "Out For Love"! THEY KEEP SAYING VAGGIE IS CLEARLY ALL ABOUT VENGENCE WHEN SHE VERY CLEARLY ISN'T??? LIKE NEVER ONCE HAVE WE ESTABLISHED VAGGIE IS IN IT FOR THE VENGENCE! ITS BEEN ALL ABOUT CHARLIE. BUT THE SONG IS ALL "OH STOP BEING ABOUT VENGENCE AND KILL FOR CHARLIE" AND IT JUST- okay yeah whatever we've established i don't like that song, i need to calm down. i'm gonna listen to my thirty second saphic reprise that i'll take i guess. maybe i'll share more opinions when i've processed anything better. maybe i won't. peace out homie.

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

who do u think is like more sex positive of the boys like jerking off more etc. n who doesnt need it as much?

Just to clarify, being sex positive is more about your attitude towards sex, which can of course affect your perspective on masturbation. You can be sex positive and not masturbate that often. You can masturbate often and be sex negative (feel guilt, shame, judgement from others re: sex).

So I'll answer this in two parts: Who do I think is the most sex positive? and Who doI think jerks it the most?

most sex positive?

Most sex positive is probably Namjoon. He has probably come into contact with many different sexual perspectives from all the books he's read. He likely has the deepest understanding of sex on a knowledge / mental level. What role sex plays in your life, big or small, is something to be considered over time. It's good to form your opinion on sex so you know what you want and how to communicate with future partners. Sexual expression is also something he has considered if we are judging by his music.

Yoongi and Hoseok are probably high on this list too. Yoongi because he is the type to question "why." Why is sex viewed as shameful? Why is it different for men and women? Why is sex used so prominently as a selling point? I think a lot of his questions came from things he internalized when he was younger. I believe he mentioned before that performing 'Blood, Sweat, and Tears' made him uncomfortable, indicating a period of sex negativity, but I think the experience also caused him to reconsider the boundaries of his own sexual expression. We can't pretend he wasn't sexual on his solo tour, keke. Yoongi is a very introspective person. He's come a long way into establishing his sense of self and part of that is reconnecting with his view on sex. For Hoseok, he is more of a "why not?" He doesn't seem like the type to judge himself or anyone else. Sexuality is part of you, after all. I think his views on sex are very positive, that he thinks sex is a amazing and special way to express love, and that he enjoys seeing people express their identities openly. Compared to Namjoon though, I think you have to ease him into a sex conversation, whereas Namjoon would probably answer you to the best of his ability without any awkwardness.

I think it's pretty difficult given the global impact of BTS for them to not recognize sexual expression as part of music, so I'm not saying the rest of them are sex negative. They are all probably some level of sex positive and, given their current ages, have likely matured over time. I've rewatched 'Pied Piper' enough times. XD JK is all about fucking seven days a week apparently (come prove it to me then?! are you're scared, hah????), so at the very least he's comfortable sexually expressing himself (an understatement). But I don't think Seokjin, Jimin, Taehyung, and Jungkook have ever really thought deeply about their relationship to sex and if it's positive or negative. They just do what you wanna, say what you wanna (ffs not a "That That' ref, I need to put myself in time-out). It is worth mentioning that you don't need to. You can be sex-neutral.

But! I'll argue that having a healthy relationship with sex mentally makes you capable of targeting your disconnects earlier than in bed internally freaking out while your mouth is saying, "uh, ok". It is unfortunate that sex negativity can put you in bad situations. It can also be weaponized against you as a form of control by a manipulator. This is why I encourage you to establish your perspective on sex and the role you want it to play in your life.

whose horny af tho, riddle me that, wiyllt

Have you read the way I write Jeon Jungkook? Scratch that, have you seen the way Jeon Jungkook sings his song about the lost time of his youth and that damn dance break, bro, was that necessary? In front of ARMY's salad???? Don't even get me started on wtf Park Jimin is doing with his eyes every time he looks at the camera.

Men are men. Men are horny. (Most of them.) I don't see Seokjin giving into his every whim but he sure does stay home a lot and "play games". XD I'm joking, seriously though, he seems like the type to wait until he's alone or maybe even chill until the horny goes away (it won't, and then he'll have to take drastic measures). Namjoon recognizes the horny but is not impulsive enough. He would make a mental note, put it in his plans, allot a time slot, get the job done. Yoongi already has quick techniques when the mood strikes, but the mood probably doesn't strike him often. He will find a way to get what he wants, iykyk. Hoseok is always moving, always has something going on, I don't think he thinks of getting off until he has a free moment to realize he's horny and, oh yeah, it's been a while, huh? Jimin's either never horny because he gets it all out on stage or he's hiding too much horny under that cute giggle and eye smile. Sus. I think Taehyung's quite balanced as he's gotten older. There's a lot of aspects of his life he finds satisfaction in and letting it out is just one of them.

Jungkook has said he has an obsessive personality. He gets fixated on things and keeps going until he believes he's the best at it. Bro has no chill. So it really depends if he's into it at the time. Then it's Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday...

[deathbirby]

So I was taking a look at the World's Perdition text for a Sothis fanfic I'm writing and I have to wanted to get your thoughts on something (sothis expert that you are)

The Agarthan talks about how they nuked 4 lands in their preemptive attack on Sothis. When I first read this I assumed they did this all in one go, but thinking on it it doesn't make too much sense. Unless they were worried about Sothis using some god magic to teleport out of the way (which, fair all things considered) they would have no reason to nuke FOUR cities/regions/countries at once. Sothis can't be that big that they needed to bomb all four to cover her.

So unless they were worried about her teleporting, that must mean they did this four separate times. Which means Sothis got f**king nuked, went to another city, and had this interaction:

Sothis: yo wtf just happened? Who nuked an entire city? Do you know how many people got murdered?

Leader of that city: um, well you see. The thing is... can you wait just one minute?

Leader dude (off to the side): guys you screwed up. The false god lived through the nuke.

Agarthan in a different city who has keys to the nukes: what do you mean she survived? Thinis got wiped out. The land vanished. She can't be alive.

Leader dude: well she right in front of me, asking what happened, so someone screwed up. Teleport me out of here and try again!

Then they nuke city number 2. And Sothis, again, survives and goes wtf. Presumably has that exact same conversation. Gets nuked again and yet again goes to another city to figure out why these people are killing their own cities, wiping out thousands at least. And then it happens again!!!

Like, no wonder Sothis is pissed. They did this to her four times! And it never worked!

Also!!! The book never actually states Sothis flooded the world. Only that the Agarthan expected her to. Which, given that they nuked her four separate times, I can't blame him for thinking. But they got the f*ck out of dodge before finding out so it's possible Sothis got nuked four times, found out the perpetrators went underground, and proceeded to shrug and coma herself to heal the world. It even lines up with Rhea's dialogue in Verdant Wind. Or the flood was her extinguishing the flames from the pillars of light, like the ones in that one fire canyon whose name I can't recall, and it was never meant to kill anyone. After all, the Agarthans literally nuked four of their own cities. There might not be that many left standing or they just got mixed with the humans Sothis creates to repopulate Fodlan after four lands got nuked while TWSITD stayed underground.

I've been trying to figure out how to write about the extreme nature of Sothis' divine retribution against the Agarthans as being unjust for attacking the whole for what may be the actions of a few (or just a particular cult), but it might've not happened in the first place!

Am I reading this wrong? I never thought TWSITD had any leg to stand on, but I was willing to entertain the idea that Sothis went too far with her counter attack in driving them all underground. It also gave a good parallel to Rhea being better in sparing the Elite's families which would show that she's ready to guide Fodlan in Sothis' place, but Sothis might not have even done that!

(Of course I haven't taken a look at Hopes if it confirms the flood actually happening, but I'm alright with ignoring that mess with what it did to... so many characters)

Lmao I really am the sothis expert now huh

Have you read my longer posts about the "Ancient History of Fodlan"? I talk about the war between Sothis and the Agarthans with my thoughts on what happened. There is also some speculation on what the "Flood" really was. I do think Sothis went scorched earth on the Agarthans.

In terms of the Agarthans nuking Sothis and her surviving, there are several possiblities;

Sothis's dragon form really is that big that they need to blow up 4 countries to cover her.

They nuked her 4 seperate times like you suggested.

They also targeted lands with Nabateans in them out of spite.

They tried to nuke Sothis but some weird magic forced them away to different countries, much like Aillel.

Their aim sucks lol

Though.. I am not sure which one it is. The wording of the text makes it sound like the nukes were fired at the same time, and that Sothis still stood when several countries had been blasted off the map.

Personally? I think 1, 3 or 4.

But if you're writing a fic, don't worry too much about how canon you are to the lore. It's very vague and up to interpretation. Your thoughts are just as valid as mine.

[thewolvesof1998]

I have too many conflicting thoughts about the RWRB movie so this is just going to be a long rant about it. I love the book like I've lost count of how many times I've read it and I have a tattoo that references the book. I read it in 2020 when I needed Alex, it helped me come to terms with my sexuality and come out. So it holds a special place in my heart. When I heard about the movie I was optimistically cautious and tried not to get my hopes up or be too critical until we actually started getting content. When I first saw the trailer I was not hopeful, there were a lot of things that just weren't sitting right with me but then they kept releasing clips and photos and they slowly won me over until I was really excited for this film. I was excited to get a queer, happy romcom. I was excited for the representation and I am still after watching the film. We need films like this, that show queer happiness and love and even just sex on screen.

The film on its own (not comparing it to the book) is good, it's campy and romantic and I love it. I love some of the editing choices and how they filmed Alex and Herny's text convos and phone calls especially the turkey gate one (tho I can't believe we didn't get the cornbread line)- I wish they continued this with the emails. I love the lake scene, the Bird's Eye view, the bicep kiss and how Alex is confessing his love but all we can really focus on is the sadness on Henry's face, how he's almost greyish compared to Alex. The way he's positioned looks like a statue or a work of art. However, It's not perfect, some of the dialogue is stilted and the lighting and colouring of some of the scenes could have used tweaking but we accept mediocre straight romcoms all the time so why can't we accept this film's faults? Why do we have to hold queer media to a much higher standard? As a former film student, I couldn't help but notice that stuff but I don't think it subtracts from the film to the point that I don't like it anymore, sure I can't help thinking how I would have done a scene. I laughed a lot and I almost cried and I really think there were some beautiful moments and acting and cinematography. Overall, I really liked it, I would totally watch it again and I might even love it one day.

But, this film is not just a film and we have to look at it from the standpoint of the book. I did squeal and giggle every time we got a moment from the book or a line of dialogue and some of the book's moments were portrayed beautifully. I wasn't even mad at some of the additions to the film, Zarah's lines were great and the whole key/signet ring swap was iconic. But I don't understand why they added in cheesy dialogue when there was stuff they could have pulled from the book. And the things that were missing!?!? The emails were barely in it- they are so important to the storyline so when they weren't really there and then they were leaked it felt so out of the blue and the importance felt lost- it was literally just horny letters, like what about love confession in the form of historical love letters and the Waterloo vase and Henry's fears and Alex's list of the things he loves about Henry. AND the fact that the emails weren't even linked back to Richards wtf. June was a missing piece, her relationship with Alex and her place in their friend groups is so key to the story. Characters were butchered- Nora was great for the five minutes we got to see her and then *poof* she was gone (I also missed the burrito convo and how she figured out who leaked the emails). Pez I think said one line, what the actual fuck. Henry was a sad boy but they brushed over his depressive bouts. Bea could have been replaced with a lamp until the very end in which her one contribution was to point out the crowds (which makes me so mad that we didn't get their mother and that storyline). Bea is punk and a drug addict and it was such an important storyline. and ALEX, fuck, Alex is who I related to, ADHD, chaotic, messy bisexual. I wanted to see him get lost in his work and forget about dinner with June. I wanted him to come to terms with his sexuality on screen and tell his mum and she do the fucking PowerPoint. And actually come out to his dad - I feel like half the convo got cut cuz it kinda came out of nowhere. My tattoo references chapter 9 of RWRB specifically, it's the chapter in which Alex comes out to both his parents, I got the tattoo the year I came out to both of mine, those scenes mean a lot to me. and don't get me started on the removal of the divorce, as a child of divorce I saw myself in Alex and June and loved how they showed the parent's relationship and the unconventional family they have. why did they have to remove that?!? Aren't we past the stage of needing to only see nuclear families?! this is a queer story and we kinda lost the found family that Alex, Henry, Bea, June and Pez find and I'm sad. AND I'm so angry we didn't get kimonos and karaoke and the (hinted) thruple June, Nora and Pez. Also, why is Alex giving his speech before they've even talked to Henry or the king, it makes no sense when the king like 'We could make it fake' when Alex has been on tv saying he's in a relationship with Henry and they're in love. I'm also in two halves about the 'history huh' I think they made it work as dialogue but I still would have loved it in the emails. I've seen a lot of people say that there is chemistry between the actors who play Alex and Henry but it's not the same as the book because we get more time between the characters in the book than in the film. Yes, but also, what we see in the movie is most if not all the in-person moments with the characters what's missing is the emails, that's where we see them fall in love (or reveal in Henry's case). The emails are such a driving force and I can't believe they've been reduced down so much. I also feel like in giving us a fun, romantic film they've watered down and gotten rid of most of the harder topics to make the film more palatable (like Bea's drug addiction, divorce, even the homophobia and the politics).

I feel like the queers won with this film but I did not. I'll still watch it again and once the hurt has lessened I'll probably be able to love this film for what it is but I'll mourn the film we could have had. (though personally, I would do a mini-series so we could really sit in it.)

[ace-hell]

"if you are NOT advocating for palestine you support genocide"

Dude wtf if yall had the same sprit with congo, sudan, syria, yemen, nigeria, russia, china, north korea, iran, south africa, pakistan, Afghanistan, turkey -> all are genocidal imperialistic countries that ruled by dictatorship and tyranny that actively oppress their own people, have no human (and women) rights, homophobic and in some CHILD MARRIAGE IS LEGAL(in iran the legal age now is NINE) then yall could've saved HUNDREDS of MILLION of people.

And yet yall PRAISE them just bc they are against israel this is so WILD. I saw and see ppl say shit like "rare china W", "putin is a real hero" and "you do something wrong if north korea disagree with you" 💀 did i miss something? Are we living on the same palnet? Is there some kind of glitch in the matrix? I thought we hate any form of oppression, any form of genocode, that we boycott anything that connects or supports an oppressive country?

Ok and lets say you freed palestine, besides the fact that 9 million people will be wiped out from the word (but its ok bc its genocide only when the leftist decide it is) you need to take into consideration that not everyone has dual citizenship for some it got revoked bc the countey literally kicked the people out(russia, persia, ethiopia) or bc they did aliya and most people were BORN IN ISRAEL AND DON'T HAVE DUAL CITIZENSHIP AND THAT ITS AN ANTISEMITE RUMOR??. So you freed palestine it becomes an arab muslim country under the sharia laws(they want it to be) yall really think it will be the epitome of freedom? A full on democratic country? There will be no rape, no abuse, no family disputes, no poverty? No imperialism, no corrupt goverment, no terrorism, no capitalism, no racism? They will have one hell of pride parades? You have 50 muslim countries to see and learn how it looks like, you can see hamas chart and the chants the palestinians have on the streets, them literally having swastikas and praising hitler, their school books got published with full on violence in their education

So yall gonna fight for a free palestine just to protest against it for violation of human rights? Nice hypocrisy guys.

[kimyoonmiauthor]

Dear Agents, Writers are not Psychic, please auto include YOUR Trigger Warning Policies

Some background, because no one is going to click on the profile part of the page. I'm aware of that.

The first part of this is that I have an Anthropology degree, which the majority of the classes are concentrated in Systems, such as racism, sexism, etc. The BA would have had a certificate if I didn't have to travel 2-3 hours one way in order to get the certificate.

The second part is that I've been around the publishing industry inside of it, published by it, reading up on the history of it, reading an astounding number of writing advice manuals to track down one diagram and crying over that, to know how the industry works. I know I don't list all my credentials, but seriously, how long do you want a bio?

The third part is that I've worked with websites, UX (User Experience) and the whole idea of User Experience is that even if it functions, it doesn't mean it works without the ability to interface with humans.

And lastly, I have C-PTSD. I know how fucked up PTSD can be. And what a trigger feels like. What a flashback feels like. It's not OMG, I feel icky and have no emotional toll. It's I need a therapist to manage my triggers because it wears me out to have an anxiety/depression attack. And I know how fucked up triggers can be. I've written blog posts about it.

You are not everyone.

User experience is about Empathy. This means you realize: You are not everyone else. Everyone else is not you. They are not going to do what you think is best, so how do you make everyone happy through best practices?

Other agents aren't going to WANT what you want. They are selling different genres, they have different life experiences. Just because it works for you doesn't mean it works for anyone else. By saying, Well, every agent should do as I want, isn't helping anyone.

History

Before the 1900's, most stories were serialized, and only the popular ones got full books. Before the 1960's-1970's according to Steven King's On Writing, there were no Agents. You simply submitted to the publisher. (Agents should know their publishing history, I'm just saying... you should know the history of your own profession.)

Agents became a requirement in the 1990's, not the 1980's. Before that, you could hire a lawyer. And many early agents were lawyers.

This meant because of print tech, and the requirement to join a union, the way to submit to an agent was EXACTLY THE SAME.

The Neurdivergent rejoice. They are happy with this.

But then the internet hit in about the mid-2000's and then agents started to be paid more and more like crap. And then with the plummeting enjoyment, and the publishing industry realizing that they could dump people from their staff and PUT IT ALL ON THE AGENTS, the standardization of the forms fell with it.

Why would this be in UX terms? Well, now agents aren't doing it "for the money" and in basic psychology this means they want more individualistic things. You're likely to do it for the side money, you want to have it the way you want to have it, because what's the point if it's not fun? Thus the standardization in the industry falls apart as people put forth their own individualistic wills. (Do you need the fancy psychology terms. I can do that.)

And then with the internet the industry and everyone started to MAKE UP THEIR OWN RULES.

The ND people are crying. WTF.

Especially the autistic people who like structure and rules that are even and easy to understand. (I had a long conversations about this. I did the research.)

Why would someone want a different trigger policy than me?

People represent different genres and have different aims

This is where the empathy and the ability to actually go through other agent blogs comes in. You need to be able to read other agents, their genres and realize that writers have different genres and combination of genres they are submitting to.

You might be looking ONLY at contemporary Romance, but there are agents that represent Horror, Thrillers, and Mystery and dark fantasy. Even without that, there are subgenres of fiction that might *require* triggers be included. Abuse Romance is a thing (50 Shades) and there is Dystopian SFF.

The agents that rep these genres want the thrill of the surprise. The agent wants to not have to know what's up front to experience the story first hand. This is what I've read from those agents. The ones that rep Horror are more than likely to not want trigger warnings from my asking over and over again. And they are less likely to list a no list to the trigger list.

But those self-same agents *also* represent things like Romance. Because like everyone else on the planet, people like more than one genre.

BTW, out of all of the agents, the agents that rep Romance from my asking around, because no one else is crunching data are more likely to want trigger warnings, but I'm telling you it gets tricky when you're mixing Romance with Supernatural, Mystery, and Fantasy.

BTW, Fantasy and SFF as genres, RANGE WILDLY. So the triggers are going to be all over the map.

And for the people who rep Horror, etc, the reason why your (US) romance agents want trigger warnings is because romance works on a totally different emotional basis compared to Horror. Expecting your potential clients to know that and your fellow agents to follow suit when they have a totally different agenda is not reasonable.

This is where UX comes in. YOU, agent, Have do the work to bridge the gap between you and the other agents. If you all are going to have different policies about triggers, then writers are going to also do their best guesses and try for a middle.

People have different triggers than you.

I have a trigger around melamine floors. Do you have a trigger around melamine floors? Does it make your spine go cold it makes my spine go cold. Do you get a mild headache thinking about them especially if they are white? No? You don't?

Would it be reasonable for me to ask you to guess that about me?

Would it be reasonable for you to take all of my feelings about it because I never informed you this was the case?

If you're getting my drift:

LIST YOUR TRIGGERS. Not everyone has the same triggers. Write it out. Asking people to manage and guess your invisible triggers is unreasonable. It does harm to others. You don't want them to do harm to you, it's your responsibility to let people help you by making it known. 100% I know this as a person with C-PTSD and also with Sensory issues. It's not other people's responsibility if they don't know about it. It is 100% mine to let them know if I have an issue and it's too much. If they don't respect you after you have let them know, then the onus is on them, not before then. It's also anti-ND to expect people to *guess* your triggers. But it's also better for your mental health so people don't submit something you don't want.

Trauma *is* fucked up. But part of recovery is taking control and taking control of your triggers and processing them. So let people help you by you listing your triggers you don't want to see or be warned about in fiction.

Set clear boundaries

Goal-setting: Ask yourself questions like “What is the goal in setting a boundary or needing to set a boundary?”

Start small: Setting boundaries can be hard and uncomfortable. The key is to start small and focus on one at a time.

Be clear: Focus on what you want as clearly as possible.

Practice: If thinking about setting a boundary makes you nervous, write out what you want to say beforehand or practice stating a boundary in the mirror.

Keep it simple: Less is more with boundary setting. Try not to overload someone with too many details at first. Just pick the main thing that is bothering you and focus on that.

From the website.

Make your boundaries clear. If you don't list triggers, don't ask for a trigger list on your forms, don't make it known on your website, assume everyone is going to do it that everyone agrees with you, and don't put it where people can see it, then you are responsible for the result and in making it more clear. You can't act like a victim if you haven't set clear boundaries.

Act like an adult and set your boundaries.

BUT WHY would anyone write it/not want a warning as an agent?

Some people like to deal with their triggers in fiction. It's distant, not real, it gives them a sense of control, like a safe word in BDSM. A lot of reading of horror and thrillers in particular are when people are anxious. This is according to Stephen King that greater fear means a spike in his sales. (Interviews, Writing Excuses). You should be paying attention to that... just saying. This is marketing. You are also (unfortunately) part marketer, not only lawyer.

Some people are using it to ask for rights. Buy being clear as a victim of abuse, etc that helps people feel empowerment by *stopping it*.

If people want to stop homophobia, that means they have to talk about homophobia. Taking power back from the oppressors feels good. This is like step 3 of recovering from trauma, though. I've covered previously that after victimhood, you should be aiming for survivor, but the aims of a social justice person are transformation of trauma and that has to be somewhat different and is somewhat opposed to being a victim.

Everyone is healing in a different way and speed than you are. Again, everyone is not you. This is marketing too.

BUT OTHER AGENTS SHOULD DEAL WITH MY POLICY

No, they shouldn't. You are not everyone else. See the UX rule.

How Do I Fix it?

Put on your forms a trigger policy. Try to get other agents to also put on a trigger policy standard.

You can copy-paste the following and cut the irrelevant:

Trigger Warning Policy

I would like you to give a trigger warning: Yes/No.

I would like you to give a trigger warning:

In the query

When I request fulls.

You should not submit if your manuscript has:

You can submit if your manuscript has, but warn me:

Skip trigger warnings for these genres:

[List genres]

Listed nicely and UXed like that with the bold? Yes. Makes it easier to read.

Where should I put it?

There's a fancy UX term for this, but the basics are: If it's important to you, you will LIST it in multiple places. And since writers, even if they wanted to be aren't psychic at grand distances and are submitting to you from places like Australia (because you should know that) and from other countries. They will have no clue what you want if people want different things. So all of these places.

Manuscript Wishlist

Your Profile on your website

Query Manager (You can put it at the top and sometimes with the query part)

Submissions Guideline Page (especially if you don't have Query Manager)

Why not on Twitter?

No one is going to read thousands of tweets and work through your tweets that are going to disappear to find your trigger policy. !@#$ No. Too much time, too much effort, those things disappear, and those are not for permanent information.

If it's Absent...

The user will assume if it is absent in the query manager, especially, there is none, and they can do as they like or guess. Absence is assumed this way.

If you need the long psychological reason why, in UX this is true, then imagine it this way (extended analogies are my jam):

Cashier A is not labeled. Cashier B is not labeled in a store.

You want to check out of the items you've collected in the store and not steal things. You're likely to do as you like. And choose between Cashier A and Cashier B.

Cashier A is labeled now: Returns.

Cashier B is labeled with a cart icon.

You want to check out. You're likely to choose Cashier B.

Therefore, if it's absent on the form, people will do as they like. Basic marketing, psychology and UX. If you want it to be known, you label it.

Mechanically list it. Put it visible everywhere.

Make the form standard on Query Manager and Manuscript Wishlist

Even better yet is to make it standard on agent websites.

Here is the contact for them.

MSWL: https://www.manuscriptwishlist.com/contact/

Query Manager: https://querymanager.com/contact.php

Here is what you can write:

Hello,

[Honest reasons you love their website]

I would really like a standard form for trigger warnings. The form would look like something like this:

I would like you to give a trigger warning: Radio buttons: Yes/No.

(Require) If no, then the rest of the form doesn't need to be filled out.

I would like you to give a trigger warning:

If yes require...

Radio buttons for:

In the query

When I request fulls.

You should not submit if your manuscript has: (Optional)

You can submit if your manuscript has, but warn me: (Optional)

Skip trigger warnings for these genres: (Optional)

[List genres]

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,

[Name]

BTW, I put programming and UX info into the letter to make it easier on them. Because again empathy and again, I'm HSP, so I can't help it. I want to make implementation as easy as possible.

Please don't abuse the word "Trigger"

BTW, Please do not for the sake of people with C-PTSD and PTSD say something you "dislike" is a "trigger." Dislike should be Content warning. And in that case just list it with your usual "Don't send me this."

Saying something is a trigger because you dislike the trope–please don't abuse the word trigger this way.

Yes, there are low level triggers that don't make sense. I've covered melamine floors before as a trigger for me and institutions. But usually I don't trip out if it's in fiction. But that might be you. Again. Not everyone has the same triggers for fiction, because you are not everyone. Or as Mr. Rogers liked to say loosely You are unique.

While you're at it...

BTW, I also listed other things that agents disagree on. Just do it as a part of your policy to list them.

Conclusion

To me, at this point, if you don't list it and rep a bunch of different genres, I'll choose what I guess is best. If you hit more than one, then yeah, I'm left guessing.

And as an HSP, agents getting really mad at both ends, to the point they are willing to get irritated, I can't take that on. Writers are left confused and in the middle. So instead, just use the form I listed. I mean, it's not that hard to copy-paste.

Your little bit of work up front will help everyone else. Make it a standard that all agents list a trigger warning policy EVERYWHERE it can be visible. We can't guess and no one is going to read all of your Twitter.

Marketing ideas also work towards your clients. You want them to do a certain behavior, then you have to also market yourself well, which means you need to be making your trigger policy known and visible.

[suckmyfatdee]

HOTD YAP BECAUSE I'M BORED!

Hate=Block, I only allow comments that are respectful about their own opinion and not ones that start frothing at their mouth for my opinion. If you can't handle criticism against your faves(at least against how the show wrote them), don't read.

As much as I believe the writers are far more biased to Rhaenyra, I do believe they fucked over both sides and while trying to make this some kind of Girlboss women empowerment show, they are making their women dumb. Genuinely. I've genuinely thought over everything and compared it to the books and now I'm just thinking "Wtf are you guys doing to our girls?"

And it's the people still believing the show is the absolute canon. Someone said "George was consulted that the show would be the canon of what actually happened, so that means it is the canon.".....Boy, no? Does George's blog post a few months ago not tell you that he didn't agree with the changes and if he's the creator of that world then it's his word against Condal's and Sara's.

Season one was good, I won't lie but even then they started fucking over the characters. I don't think they need to do everything strictly like the books, since obviously this book is supposed to be like a history book with many accounts where it's kinda left for you to interpret what happened or form an opinion of what happened.

But the changes just don't make sense at all or even drastic changes to make a character worse and then to claim that the changes are what actually happened. Just because the books didn't give us a direct account of what happened, doesn't mean that the writers can just change what they want. They've changed so much in ways that don't even make sense and it ways that won't even align to important/iconic events in the books.

The first and foremost thing you notice at the start of the show as a book reader is the ages. They wrote the ages so without even thinking much, events don't line up at all.

And I guess the relationship Rhaenyra had with Alicent was cute at the start, I genuinely loved it. It would have given more spice to their future animosity. But no, they choose the most unrealistic way to approach this, which shows me the show writers have no idea how to critically change their thinking to fit the theme of the world they are writing about. They are using modern thinking rather than the one that makes sense the most. And they also seem to either only view the full picture in black and white, or see colours in the picture that aren't there(adding things that don't make sense).

They made Alicent betray her whole family for a woman who LOGICALLY by their time actually would have to kill her sons, or whose husband would definitely kill her sons. Like come on! These women have been enemies longer than they have been friends, any love towards each other should have started to diminish the moment Rhaenyra had no sympathy for Aemond when he lost his eye and even demanded him tortured, and for Rhaenyra it should have gone the moment Alicent asked for Lucerys' eye. Like come on, they are MOTHERS! And I'm not saying that is all they are and their characters should be knocked down to only being a mother. But even in the books that's an important factor of their character.

And the show made the war so dumb to the point where it truly seems that Rhaenyra and Alicent should by all means be kept away from power. They have no critical thinking at all!

Rhaenyra ran from conflict when Jacaerys asked her if he was a bastard, instead of facing it and trying to further strengthen her claim by trying to at least help or prove her political savvy to the Small Council and Lords. Since the writers already change everything they could have made her stay. But no, she ran. AND GOES TO MARRY THE MAN WHO IS THE VERY REASON SHE WAS NAMED HEIR IN THE FIRST PLACE. THEY WANTED TO KEEP HIM AWAY FROM THE THRONE! Then later, when Lucerys' claim to driftmark is challenged she once again, before even attempting to take care of the problem herself, by using logic or properly preparing Lucerys, she begs her bedridden father to make these people listen to her. And when she lost hope that he would, and had to push her son's claim herself, you could hear her start something about twenty years ago...meaning she was probably trying to tell them about how they bent the knee to her and called her heir...in a situation where that mattered only little? This wasn't about her claim, this was about her son's claim, and her son's claim wasn't questioned because she was a woman who was the heir to the iron throne but because people thought her son a bastard, and not a Velaryon which is why they didn't want someone who isn't Velaryon to inherit something from their bloodline. She isn't actually politically prepared AT ALL and obviously thinks that her father naming her heir and making the lords bend their knees to her once ONCE(without even asking their council and before three legitimate sons were born) is the panacea to any political problem she has. That is her not being prepared, and she unknowingly showcases her lack of preparation. Lucky for her, her father saves her ass and gets out of his near death bed to tell the lords to shut up about their problems in favour of Rhaenyra.

And Alicent! A woman who was the Queen Regent when her husband was too ill and kept the Realm at peace with her father, for years, suddenly knows nothing of politics? Please. She ruled in her husband's stead for what I assume is six years(the time after the Driftmark discourse when we obviously see Viserys is too weak), and even before that, after she declared 'war' at Rhaenyra's wedding, she also sat the council considering she was the Queen Consort. She was a part of the council that long, her father is an incredibly intelligent man and the hand of the King and she knows nothing now? Why did she lose her political savvy in season 2?

Why were they both dumb and let each other enter the other's 'territory' while their factions are at war and thousands of innocent are dying, because of the other's faction. Alicent could've had Rhaenyra killed, there were Guards! And when Alicent came to Rhaenyra she could've held Alicent hostage. Critical thinking ladies! I'm not saying that would have stopped the war but Rhaenyra was the reason they fought for and Alicent was the one that sat Aegon on the throne!

And why is Helaena as Queen Consort not doing shit? Before Jaehaerys' death, in the books she also participated the Small Council and actually engaged! And if she can relax at home and seemingly isn't in any way too affected that her son died, why is she being useless? AND I LOVE HELAENA! TRUST I DO! But this is ridiculous what they've done to my girl.

Baela is just Rhaenyra's cheerleader now and will lecture/sorta manipulate and gaslight anyone that doubts Rhaenyra or feels openly conflicted.

Rhaena....I'm just gonna be silent.

Rhaenys was okay, badass but not the smartest.

Like, they've done my women dirty. Don't start a war with me.

Anyways. End of yap.(Can you tell I'm a certified yapper?)