#i need to know what made him this way
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me projecting onto sebastian smythe as if he would not probably hate me in real life
#glee#sebastian smythe#i can’t even know this for real#because his character was ruined#like let me know more about him#i need to understand the intricate cracks in his soul#i need to know what made him this way#grant gustin please elaborate on your answers in the one interview i need to know your headcanons because you know this character better#than the writers evidently
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Learning that fans hated Applejack and called her "boring" is crazyyy to me because I genuinely, unironically believe AJ's the most complex character in the main six.
Backstory-wise, she was born into a family of famers/blue collar workers who helped found the town she lives in. She grew up a habitual liar until she had the bad habit traumatized outta her. She lost both her parents and was orphaned at a young age, having to step up as her baby sister's mother figure. She's the only person in the main gang who's experienced this level of loss and grief (A Royal Problem reveals that AJ dreams about memories of being held by her parents as a baby). She moved to Manhattan to live with her wealthy family members, only to realize she'll never fit in or be accepted, even amongst her own family. The earlier seasons imply she and her family had money problems too (In The Ticket Master, AJ wants to go to the gala to earn money to buy new farm equipment and afford hip surgery for her grandma).
Personality-wise, she's a total people-pleaser/steamroller (with an occasional savior complex) who places her self worth on her independence and usefulness for other people, causing her to become a complete workaholic. In Applebuck Season, AJ stops taking care of herself because of her obsessive responsibilities for others and becomes completely dysfunctional. In Apple Family Reunion, AJ has a tearful breakdown because in she thinks she dishonored her family and tarnished her reputation as a potential leader –– an expectation and anxiety that's directly tied to her deceased parents, as shown in the episode's ending scene. In The Last Roundup, AJ abandons her family and friends out of shame because believes she failed them by not earning 1st place in a rodeo competition. She completely spirals emotionally when she isn't able to fulfill her duties toward others. Her need to be the best manifests in intense pride and competitiveness when others challenge her. And when her pride's broken, she cowers and physically hides herself.
Moreover, it's strongly implied that AJ has a deep-seated anger. The comics explore her ranting outbursts more. EQG also obviously has AJ yelling at and insulting Rarity in a jealous fit just to hurt her feelings (with a line that I could write a whole dissection on). And I'm certain I read in a post somewhere that in a Gameloft event, AJ's negative traits are listed as anger.
Subtextually, a lot of these flaws and anxieties can be (retroactively) linked to her parents' death, forcing her to grow up too quickly to become the adult/caregiver of the family (especially after her big brother becomes semiverbal). Notice how throughout the series, she's constantly acting as the "mom friend" of the group (despite everything, she manages to be the most emotionally mature of the bunch). Notice how AJ'll switch to a quieter, calmer tone when her friends are panicking and use soothing prompts and questions to talk them through their emotions/problems; something she'd definitely pick up while raising a child. Same with her stoicism and reluctance at crying or releasing emotions (something Pinkie explicitly points out). She also had a childhood relationship with Rara (which, if you were to give a queer reading, could easy be interpreted as her first 'aha' crush), who eventually left her life. (Interestingly enough, AJ also has an angry outburst with Rara for the same exact reasons as with EQG Rarity; jealous, upset that someone else is using and changing her). It's not hard to imagine an AJ with separation anxiety stemming from her mother and childhood friend/crush leaving. I'm also not above reading into AJ's relationship with her little sister (Y'all ever think about how AB never got to know her parents, even though she shares her father's colors and her mother's curly hair?).
AJ's stubbornness is a symptom of growing up too quickly as well. Who else to play with your baby sister when your brother goes nonverbal (not to discount Big Mac's role in raising AB)? Who else to wake up in the middle of the night to care for your crying baby sister when your grandma needs her rest? When you need to be 100% all the time for your family, you tend to become hard-stuck with a sense of moral superiority. You know what's best because you have to be your best because if you're aren't your best, then everything'll inevitably fall apart and it'll be your fault. And if you don't know what's best –– if you've been wrong the whole time –– that means you haven't been your best, which means you've failed the people who rely on you, which means you can't fulfill your role in the family/society, which makes you worthless . We've seen time and time again how this compulsive need to be right for the sake of others becomes self-destructive (Apple Family Reunion, Sound of Silence, all competitions against RD). We've seen in The Last Roundup how, when no longer at her best, AJ would rather remove herself from her community than confront them because she no longer feels of use to them.
But I guess it is kinda weird that AJ has "masculine" traits and isn't interested in men at all. It's totally justified that an aggressively straight, misogynistic male fandom would characterize her as a "boring background character." /s
At the time of writing this, it's 4:46AM.
#mlp#yeah i wrote this last night during insomnia.#yeah i know an embarrassing amount of crap about this kids show#but whatever it's my hyperfixation i'll store as much useless information as i want!!!#i'm gay and neurodivergent i have an excuse#in case you needed more proof that aj's my favorite character#personal#delete later#unless you like this analysis stuff#i get why they didn't reveal aj's parent's death until way later and why they didn't do much with it but i wish they did#cuz narratively there could've been so much material with aj's grief. like. i feel like we gloss over the fact that she lost her#mother and father as a teenager#i tried keeping my personal hcs out of this to keep it unbiased#but i'll put some in the tags#involving rarijack –– i think aj can be (but not always) very self-conscious about her relationship with rarity#anxieties that she's not the right fit or that rarity will move away and leave her some day or that another woman will take her attention#(like in rollercoaster of friendship?? nudge nudge??). basic seperation anxiety stuff#long post#regarding applebloom whenever i think about her and her parents i think about that scene in steven universe where steven looks up at#a portrait of his mother and openly wonders what kind of sack lunches she would've made for him. that episode still fucks me up
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thinking about katsuki finding out about that little crush you had on shouto since seeing close-ups of him during the televised sports festival—you were in high school then, too.
he shouldn’t care about it because it doesn’t matter, it was so long ago and shouto’s always been marketed as the pro-hero pretty boy—consistently top 3 most handsome, the front cover of magazines, all that.
this is to be expected, it’s what everyone’s been tempted to react like.
but since finding out, he’s been stewing in… in whatever this bubbling, throbbing feeling in his head means. he’s snappier than normal, face scrunched up more than usual.
and every time he sees shouto he wants to strangle the hell out of him.
#a jealous katsuki… IS THIS WHAT MY DREAMS ARE MADE OF?? *gulps* idc if this is ooc i just want to see him so jealous it ruins his day#he holds u tighter and hugs u more at night LOL he becomes SO aggressive with his affections. possessive almost.#when he brings u as his date to one of the hero galas and shouto comes up to talk to u he’s hyper analysing ur ENTIRE interaction#and he knows hes being SO unreasonable and irrational bc it was a silly old crush!!! but he cant help the way he feels!!! hes so ANNOYED#bakugo x reader#katsuki x reader#shotorus.bubble#UGHHHHHHH I NEED THIS IN MY LIFE
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Great and Tyme being worried about each other
4MINUTES (2024) EP. 5
#4 minutes#4 minutes the series#greattyme#thaidrama#uservix#userrlaura#raeblr#userbon#mjtag#rinblr#esmetracks#userrlana#userpetri#tusersilence#dramasource#dailyasiandramas#asianlgbtqdramas#fyeahthaidramas#tansgifs#gifs:fourm#i made this so i could stare at their expressions during those scenes truly masterclass in acting#the way you can feel great's pain in the 4th gif when tyme yells to let them try to kill him#the way great is just searching for anything to grasp at when showing his worry about tyme's well being didn't work in the 6th gif#and great desperately saying his grandma#he is so split between holding onto his parents and holding onto tyme because he doesn't want to lose what they have#and clearly he knows asking tyme to do it for him alone wouldn't work not only because he has no right to#but also because he simply doesn't think he even mean that much to tyme. it's not like he knows what it's like to mean stuff to people#i mean shit look at his relationship with his parents. so he uses grandma and it works#anyways i love the little smiles in gifs 14 15 16 when he can feel that tyme is worried about him#all i'm gonna say about tyme is we need to put that man on suiciide watch. anyways that's what I can say from great pov
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has anyone gotten the idea that odysseus' storyline in hades 2 is a depiction/exploration of trauma over his SA and how he's blaming himself for things that were out of his control? because that's the impression i'm getting from what i've seen. he talks about "goddesses" as his "greatest weakness" and that "he's not one to say no to them"...
when mel invites him to the bath, he brings up mortals having different standards for intimacy than gods and how it usually has a more romantic/sexual connotation. she then asks if he's uncomfortable and he has a startled reaction and brings up circe and calypso again (but never actually by name)
(this isn't ship/romance bait btw. odysseus knew mel as a kid and they're stated in-game to have a sibling/uncle-niece relationship)
also he grew apart from penelope after his return, but the game makes a point of showing that his love for penelope and telemachus is what drove him on at all so that element of his character isn't brought into question
#i made a post abt it but deleted it bc it was speculating and i don't have the game bc i don't have a pc#but i found more screenshots and now.. i think it's a VERY real possibility they're going in this direction.#circe is in this game also. so i really need to see whether odysseus has any character specific dialogue about her#hard life when you can't even play the game and are hunting down bits of story from other people#hades game tag#hades 2 spoilers#sa mention#hades 2#hades game#odysseus#penelope#i don't have any hard coping shipper brain on or anything but like. just. thinking about where his character can go given what we know#guaranteed penelope will be in this game too from how much she's brought up. we'll probably meet her on the surface#SO ITS LIKE. story wise. are we going to make a wife forgive her husband for cheating on her#or are we going to make a guy realize him being assaulted wasn't the same thing as him cheating on the love of his life#and i am heavily leaning towards the latter.#it's like if he genuinely did cheat on her and they grew apart what direction would his story go in.#how will us as the player help him in the same way we helped achilles/patroclus or orpheus/eurydice
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what was with cameron house md she spends 90% of the episode saying she wants their patient to die bc he's a genocidal dictator and her colleague husband says "babe it bothers me for ethical reasons that you want our patient to die :(" and she said "hm maybe you're right :/" but when it comes down to it the genocidal dictator lays a finger on her in an aggressive manner and chase instantly commits medical malpractice to murder the guy and then when he tells her she LEAVES HIM bc boo hoo he's a murderer now like GIRL he killed a man for you!!! he's wracked with catholic guilt!!! he's being crushed beneath the weight of his sins because he chose his devotion to you over his devotion to god!!! he literally could not get any sexier at this moment in time!!!
#girl what are you doing......#also just in general she did not deserve him honestly he was so good to her and for WHAT#just to be abandoned at peak devotion and guilt and hotness 🙄#girl get OUT of my way i'm stronger than you#if she cared she could fix him or make him worse but i could love and support him no matter what 😌#his muder is a part of him and its SEXY#robert chase#house md#malpractice md#i know the actors broke up irl or whatever but wtf.....#i should have ended my rewatch w their happy lil wedding at the end of s5#s6 everything instantly goes to shit#and stays shitty#chase should be happy fr#he's supposed to turn into house basically but they should have made him the well adjusted version of house#like how nightwing is the well adjusted version of batman#anyway i have no real point here i just lowkey dont like cameron bc of this arc#also her obsession w house is so weird i wish they hadn't made that a thing#this has been a shitpost#anyway she left chase at the absolute peak of his sexiness wtf.......#anyway since this apparently needs to be said its not that deep this is a silly post if you send me hate messages i wont answer#i block and ignore anon hate bc i am too busy touching grass to be rude to strangers over a tv show
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i saw this tweet and found it interesting for two reasons. one is that some people base how good cartoon network would be to toh by how it treated su, and despite the fact that su’s treatment by the network was considered poor at the time, now its thought to be exceptionally good in comparison to modern shows.
two is how exactly su got impacted by a limited budget. a common criticism is how characters like connie, peridot, and lapis are left out of missions. but balancing a lot of characters is not only hard but also costly (extra animation, extra voices—it’s been revealed that the show is limited to a set number of characters per episode otherwise they’re over budget). animation mistakes are not uncommon since retakes cost extra. the entire reason the original show got cut short was due to loss of funding!
#i don’t know if pay rates differ per networks#but a.ivi and s.urrashu have said that they needed to work outside of su in order to make sufficient funds#it only makes me wonder what other ways su suffered from a lower budget#that we as the audience never got to see#in the vein of the too-little characters complaint#another part of that is that low-stakes episodes should’ve been abt the main cast instead of the townies#like last one out of beach city and too short to ride vs restaurant wars and kiki’s pizza delivery service#i definitely see that especially since that isn’t budget related#nor would it seem to be network related (even if cn had an ‘episodic episodes’ quota it could still be abt the gems#(another side note: /would/ cn even have a requirement that the show make episodes that can be watched standalone?#this is a question for the people who were around when su was airing#what episodes often got rerun?#was it the townie eps or the lore eps?#for example i heard that su once did a ‘peridot event’ where they just reran peridot episodes#which had eps that skip around in the show#did they even care about airing the story so that it made sense anyways?#id get it if the low stakes townie episodes were the ones getting rerun))#but i have such a boring view on that which is i think it’s simply because the creators like townie eps#like in interviews r.ebecca s.ugar has said she’s the type to be really invested in background characters#answers in interviews have been crafted in ways to hide what’s really going on though tbf#prime example of this is rebecca and ian saying the wedding being interrupted was meant to follow the common trope#when later in the art book they said that it was bc cn rejected the ep bc it ‘wasn’t interesting enough’#both could simultaneously be true! it’s a psychology thing though where people make up nice-sounding explanations behind what they create#in retrospect because they want it to be thought out in such a nice way they believe in it#the bigger problem is that not matter how many episodes there are of them#it can be hard for ppl to be invested in the townies the same way they are invested in the main cast#i’m sure that a million writers have made surefire advice on how to get an audience to care about characters#but off the top of my head i think it’s because 1. most don’t have strong motivations to get truly invested in#(exception is ronaldo but people find him too annoying to care about him)#okay i had more points and explanations but i hit the tag limit and idk if anyone is actually reading this so bye
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PART OF A BIGGER DOODLE PAGE. WHEN ITS DONE ILL TUCK THE LINK INTO THIS LITTLE X RIGHT HERE ----> [X] I REALLY REALLY LOVE THE TOM N JERRY DYNAMIC W EMIZEL N VEX. IMAGINE BEING SO SO HAUNTED BY A LITTLE GUY THATS JUST SSSSOO FUCKING ANNOYING.
#CW GORE#HEHEEH WEEEEEE I LOVE THEEMEMM#VEX JUST HATES EMIZEL SO SO SO MUCH AND I LOOOOVE IT. EVEN WHEN WORKING TOGETHER EMIZEL JUST FINDS THE PERFECT WAY TO#GET UNDER THIS DUDES SKIN. A VAMPIRE WHOS BEEN AROUND A LONG LONG TIME.#A VAMPIRE WHOSE COMMITTED COUNTLESS ATROCITIES AND SEEN MANY MANY TERRIBLE THINGS W A SMILE ON HIS FACE#HES A PROFESSIONAL!! HES AN ARTIST! HES A GROWN MAN THAT CAN HANDLE A LITTLE MISTAKE HERE N THERE!!#BUT THEN THIS LITTLE FUCKIN. WEIRDO. W ITS ILLUSIONS. AND TRICKERY. AND STRANGENESS. AND EVERYTHING HE SAYS IS SO SO STUPID#HES WACKY. EVERYTHING HE SAYS MAKES NO SENSE AND YET. AND YET. HE HAS FOILED EVERY PLAN. CAUGHT YOU OFF EVERY GUARD#HE'S MADE YOU PARANOID!!! CAMERAS EVERYWHERE. WE CANT LET HIM GET THROUGH OUR DEFENSES. LEST HE FUCKS UP MORE SHIT#HES JUST A REGULAR BABY VAMPIRE. THERES NOTHING INSIDE OF HIM THAT GIVES ANY CLUE OF HIS STRANGE MAGICAL ABILITIES. SO WHAT THE FUCK??#HES LITERALLY A MOUSE. MAKING YOU SHRIEK EVERYTIME HE SKITTERS ACROSS THE CORNER OF THE ROOM W HIS AWFUL LITTLE PITTER PATTERING. FUCK!!#HES SO SMALL AND SO AVERAGE AND SO SO STUPID AND YET. AND YET HE HAS UNRAVELED EEEVERYTHING AND TOOK DOWN THE STRONGEST VAMP YOU KNOW#SO WHAT THE FUCK????#I LOVE IT WHEN A SCARY VILLANOUS CHARACTER IS REDUCED TO SOMEONE WHO JUST WANTS THE PROTAGONIST TO LEAVE THEM ALOOONE. TO GO AWAYYY. PLEASE#HEHEHE WEEE ILL POST THE FULL DOODLE PAGE LAT3RRRR I GOTTA FUCKIN UHHH FIGURE OUT WHEN IM CATCHING THIS STUPID GAY BUS#I ALSO NEED TO FIGURE OUT HHOW MUCH ALCAHOL IM WILLIN TA DRINK B4 I GO HOME. I HOPE YALL ENJOY THIS ONE. I LOVE U GUYS
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Human fear is the window to the soul or whatever ://
#digital art#tropical's art#art#cw eyestrain#high contrast#eye strain#collinlock16#Ouuugh Zander oouuugh AwesomeG they were just kids man like broooo (Morbius too I guess that minimum wage worker)#I hope more horrors come I hope Hungry eats more children alive and Souler eats more child souls#Hungry just letting AwesomeG beg for forgiveness after asking him if he believes in god gets to me for some reason#Also I_AM_BIG_KEVIN is here#He DDOS'es soon after this#As per the video#Bro was set up by Souler but had a secret technique (“fuck you DDOS!”)#Also Souler cannot get to Collin#He's too tired#So it can't get to his soul via fear#I just realized in the part 2 of colin's thing he tells Souler to fuck off in the beginning animation#Tbh real#Minecraft ARGs but they call Kevin#minecraft arg but the protagonist is tired#I like this series very much and a normal amount :]#The amount of newspaper articles I had to download for Kevin is too many#I also made them related to what he does/his video because why not man#Also there's no way that BigK (he debunked Zander's herobrine sighting) isn't I_AM_BIG_KEVIN and that Zander's disappearance sparked his#Interest in the paranormal#Leading to his paranormal mercenary job#Also shoutouts to the total of 2 (I know there's more lol) fellow Oneshef Minecraft ARG fans out here#We need more people watching this it's good and funny and terrifying and it loves and hates the state of Minecraft ARGs and the universe#Said I love you or whatever
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Guys I fear I made him too pretty I gotta kill him off now ☹️
/j
#my art#art#my artwork#character design#my design#xmen fanart#x men 97#x men art#x men#nightcrawler#kurt wagner#uhg#what the fuck#he’s so pretty#hello#who made you#oh right#me lol#I made him#god#I need him#also if you know where he got that big scar#you get a comic veteran gold star#*flashbacks*#uncontrollable sobbing#the way i would let this man#*redacted*
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(mild gore)
fealty
#i. i dont know if there's a better way to content warn on tumblr. im not gonna lie ive never posted something that could need one#like this gore seems v v mild to me so i wasnt sure if it needed it at all? but like idk i wanna try to be respectful i wanna TRY#this was my main page piece for the horror zine!! jokes on u the lettie collab was a SIDE commitment. this was my main deal#i saw this so clearly like a vision in my head. its what made me want to apply in the first place ouughghh#its the service. its the undying loyalty. its the devotion and commitment to serving the throne. im WEAK im a SUCKER#i rly do just think something abt royalty settings invoke so much in me. its immediately intriguing and diasom has it BAD (positive)#i do what i must for my people. the silver fans. when he is suffering the content is tasty like im sorry but its true </3 i love him#twst#twisted wonderland#twst silver#malleus draconia#lilia vanrouge#suntails#mild gore#gore
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Jaiden: Cucurucho, you have a lot of power, right?
Cucurucho: ...I don't know. Maybe.
Roier: Ah... Yes, you know, don't act like a dumbass, you have it. You have it, man. Eh?
Jaiden: Is there a way for us to protect all the Eggs? Do you know? I don't want anything to happen to the Eggs that happened to Bobby.
Cucurucho: Ha ha ha
Roier: WHAT? [Smacks Cucurucho]
Jaiden: [Bops him] Headpats.
Cucurucho: Maybe.
Jaiden: [Continues to bop him] Headpats. C'mon, I can get it out of you! Headpats! Chin scratches! Belly rubs!
Roier: [Joins Jaiden in bopping Cucurucho, chuckling and laughs]
Jaiden: Yeah? He's comin' around!
[Jaiden and Roier both laugh]
#Jaiden Animations#Roier#Cucurucho#QSMP#Jaiden#Animations Family#There is. So much I could say about these three#and so much I could say about their relationship / interactions with Cucurucho and Osito Bimbo#Cards on the table... I really would have loved it if Cucurucho / Osito genuinely cared about Jaiden#I mean I know they DID care about her to some extent that much is clear#But they / the Federation were also ABSOLUTELY using her. I'm not arguing that they weren't#But how could anyone not be charmed by Jaiden? The boba the tea parties the head pats–#The empathy and kindness and everything that made q!Jaiden who she was–#Cucurucho and Osito were tools of the Federation but I do want to believe they cared about Jaiden. Albeit in their own fricked up way#I dunno. I know this sounds like massive copium probably but I watched all of her and Roier's streams interacting with them#and I personally think that conflict and duality makes for a more interesting story#But that's just me and my own personal biases. I dunno how to properly put it into words but I am cradling them all close to my heart#I loved Cucurucho / Osito and I thought they were interesting and I'm SO SAD we'll never know what Jaiden did for them in the past#Anyways. For anyone who's read this far into my rant– you know how Cucurucho saved the Eggs and Jaiden said she died in Purgatory?#I like imagining that she survived the bomb and wound up finding the Eggs in the aftermath#and she helped them survive until Cucurucho found them#I imagine that Jaiden was the reason they were able to escape from the Island / The Watcher / ElQuackity#She stayed behind to slow down their pursuers. And Cucurucho rescuing all the Eggs fulfilled his agreement with Jaiden—#A promise to protect the Eggs#Like I said a lot of this is copium but that's what I like imagining#TLDR: Cucurucho / Osito did care about her in a weird way but that doesn't mean they weren't manipulating her#May 31 2023#Idk man I got a lot of emotions about q!Jaiden#Roier too but I feel like I've done way more analysis posts about him and Cucurucho. Jaiden needs time in the spotlight#Anyways there's my monthly tag rant
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Jason who immediately loses respect for people who don't own up to their mistakes vs Annabeth who would rather die than admit she made a mistake
#jason vs annabeth. autism vs npd lol#idk what the outcome is. i don't think they'd fight physically. but jason would get on her ass. and she'd be so fucking pissed abt it#she'd strategize different ways to put him in uncomfortable situations for whatever reason#and he's just vibing through them because he's been uncomfortable his entire life. pretending to be bacon for a monster is not new#anyway jason looking at his dad who's refusing to admit he made some dumb decisions and immediately going this guy is an idiot fuck him#happy talks pjo#npd!annabeth#jason grace#annabeth chase#oh oh annabeth needing everyone to like and trust her and jason's lost respect for her drives her up the fucking wall#she's the only one of the seven who could really be considered friends with all of them and jason's judgy eyes make her want to explode#she 100% rants herself to sleep about things he says. maybe that's where percy and jason's beef arised from#percy recognizing that annabeth is fustrated with jason because jason is blunt and doesn't really know to soften his words.#so now percy is fustrated with jason because annabeth is the source of his personhood right now. meanwhile jason is just vibing oblivious#no social awarenes whatsoever. anyway lol#but oooooo see leo's inferiority complex actually makes him fess up to errors in a way that judges him (jokingly but not really)#even if the error wasn't his fault. but it's his willingness to admit to his mistakes that makes jason really appreciate and trust him#so we have npd!annabeth who can't admit to being wrong because it would kill her ego#and then inferiority complex leo who does admit to being wrong because he hates himself#and when he fucks up he is quick to confess (often in a self-deprecating joke manner) so that no one can say anything that would hurt him#if he kills his ego before other people can even attempt it then he's safe from their judgement in some way#okaaaay bac to studying lol
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the synonym of companion is:
#spuffy#spuffyedit#buffysummersedit#spike btvs#btvs#btvsedit#buffy the vampire slayer#it's terribly simple#you know you want to dance#this edit came about because of that post that is linked and how it is SO painfully buffy and spike it makes me physically ill but also#because i paused chosen during the hand holding bit (As One Does) and i got it right before their hands light on fire as buffy's fingers#are curling around spike's palm and it made me feel. some kind of way. the moment before the magic when its just them#the whole ''i love you'' ''no you dont'' thing has been analyzed to DEATH but ive always taken it as them knowing they love each other#they know that. theyve been knowing that. they knew that yesterday. thats not what its about#buffy is saying ''i am here with you now in your last moments on this earth and i will not leave you''#and spike is saying ''i know. but you dont have to. so get your pretty ass out of here before the ceiling falls in''#buffy is telling him that she respects him as a man and he's telling her to respect his last wish (that she get out safely)#(i think he's also saying ''you dont have to say it if it doesnt come naturally. i can feel it i dont need to hear it from your lips'')#anyway!! thats just my Too Sense#idk if i'm entirely happy with this but ive spent too much time on it to not post it so. here ya go
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While Loki may be up to some shit, I still trust him. Honestly, I'm just a sucker for a Loki with a soft spot for Peter. But also, Peter & Dick made it sound like the only reason Peter was trusting Loki was because he was from Peter's worldline, BUT that's completely dismissing Peter's spidey sense which has declared Loki a friend.
Like, that's important!!!! The sense doesn't just react to who Peter trusts either, bc when he was cautious of the bats his spidey sense still labelled them friends. I'm pretty sure that while Loki is definitely up to something, he doesn't mean Peter any real harm. Especially since the spidey sense only seems to call those who want to help (and probably hold some form of care for) Peter friends. I trust the spidey sense more than anything.
If I'm being honest, whether or not all of what Loki said was true, he does have a big point on that they didn't and don't tell Peter crucial information. I'm a big advocate for actually explaining to kids WHY they should not do something rather than just telling them not to. Like, y'know, Peter's whole misunderstanding with why the avengers don't like Loki.
Keeping Peter in the dark is a terrible idea. Especially since as a super powered, mutant, vigilante he'll need to actually know things. I always like these sort of conflicts in texts, where an adult's wish to keep a kid ignorant for their own good actually endangers them. Like in the Harry Potter books, when Molly tries to keep the kids out of the Order meetings, despite it directly affecting Harry and in conjunction the others. (Harry is kept ignorant of most things in those books and it does NOT help). People should know of threats and dangers to themselves in detail, ESPECIALLY KIDS. Peter deserves to be involved in "adult business" because it directly affects him.
ANYWAY,, thank you for another great chapter!!! I love Loki he's such a little shit and so is Peter. They could be besties.
!!!!! 👀
Loki's definitely up to something, but you're pretty damn closes anon!! Peter hadn't picked up on it but a big part of his trust was that his spider sense hadn't felt a danger around Loki at any point. He's just upset about something. But Loki definitely has his own goals in mind and it might still cause a rift
As for the Avengers (teehee) I feel bad because they were definitely supposed to talk about it this chapter but I didn't have room. There's a lot in play about the adults wanting to keep Peter safe but misinterpreting 'safe' as not knowing the larger details about what they're doing. It's the root cause of the problem here. However in their defense... Peter got kidnapped and experimented on last time when he learned a big detail like that. He found out someone he cared about died as a result of these kidnappings, and he went looking for them on his own before he was ready. Peter will talk about this in chapter 17 when he tells Dick pretty much his entire life story (in a game of 21 questions again). It'll also be clear to the reader why they'd be nervous about letting Peter know about Loki... He lost his first foster family to the Battle of Manhattan. And Peter has a habit of going "punch first, figure out later." (Pulled that habit directly from the comics)
#that being said you are SO RIGHT ANON#both about how peter DOES need to know even with the risk#and about molly#tony is doing his best with this whole parenting thing#he's gonna figure this out the hard way#but MOLLY??#she made me SO MAD in that book#as a kid i KNEW that harry should have been there#it only proved more that the adults around harry were directly responsible for what happened to him#as in they led Harry towards his death#except dumbledore and snape were the only ones who KNEW that were doing that#Molly was trying to protect them from the horrors of war but it led them to becoming the horrors#erinwantstowrite#ao3#ao3 fanfic#leap of faith ao3#peter parker#leap of faith catch me if you can#leap of faith#thank you for the ask!#dick grayson#loki#chapter 16
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Wei Wuxian and Narrative Agency – Part Three
For Xiantober Day Five: Past and Present, in which the author gets very unhinged about what parts of the past are shown and how that’s affected by the present!
(Part One | Part Two | Full version on AO3)
The Power of Agency: Shaping the Narrative
When I've discussed Wei Wuxian's agency previously, I’ve talked about how what’s shown and omitted tells us about a character, and we’ve talked about the character himself. Though this is a niche topic, it’s not necessarily something out of the ordinary to analyse, and we can assume everything up to here has been in some way intentional.
This? Linking structure to a character’s in-universe preferences?
This is where we get unhinged.
Before I start, let’s quickly establish something which will be important later: although Wei Wuxian is the central character, MDZS isn’t strictly from his POV. While omitting events a character doesn’t like to dwell on and concealing things the character wishes to hide is common in books with only one narrator, MDZS has multiple narrators which it switches between relatively quickly. This includes Wei Wuxian, but it also includes nearly every major character that appears in the story, and omniscient narrator as well. As a default, this format doesn’t lead to this deliberate shaping and omission because of one character’s preferences, since we have many other sources of information and events – which is what makes Wei Wuxian’s influence over the narrative and structure so interesting. We could have access to a lot more information, and access to it at different times, than we do (and that’s not an insult, quite the opposite!).
To begin: we’ve established that times such as Wei Wuxian’s time on the streets, his three months in the Burial Mounds and his loss in the Siege aren’t shown because Wei Wuxian has little agency there. But that’s not the only special thing about them. They’re also the three most traumatic times in his life, and so moments Wei Wuxian himself either can’t remember, or doesn’t like to dwell on.
This is why discussing Wei Wuxian’s treatment of tragedy in his life was important. Firstly, it shows he doesn’t focus on the tragedy in his life, so the idea that the narrative not focusing on this tragedy relates to his character has merit; secondly, it affirms that this is not a passive trait, but a choice. Therefore, when the narrative omits events due to this aspect of Wei Wuxian, it’s respecting not only a character detail – which would be cool by itself – but also an active decision. One that shapes the story it’s made in.
In other words, its very structure is respecting Wei Wuxian’s agency!
Now, of course there are flashbacks to other moments of his past he probably wouldn’t like to dwell on, too. But within the structure, they’re only shown when Wei Wuxian is thinking about them (or when he has reason to)!
Wei WuXian hadn’t woken up yet. His eyes were still tightly shut, yet his hand didn’t let go either. He seemed to be dreaming, muttering, “… Don’t… Don’t be angry…” Lan WangJi seemed somewhat surprised. His voice was gentle, “I am not angry.” Wei WuXian, “… Oh.” Hearing this, as though he finally felt assured, his fingers loosened. Lan WangJi sat beside Wei WuXian for a while. Seeing that he was motionless again, he was about to stand up when Wei WuXian grabbed him with his other hand, hugging his arm and refusing to let go. He shouted, “I’ll go with you, quick, take me back to your sect!” Chapter 63, EXR translation
Which, of course, is him dwelling on…
Lan WangJi spoke one word at a time, “Go back to Gusu with me.” Hearing this, both Wei WuXian and Jiang Cheng were surprised. Quickly afterward, Wei WuXian laughed, “Go back to Gusu with you? To the Cloud Recesses? Why go there?” He immediately seemed to realize, “Oh. I forgot. Your uncle Lan QiRen hates crooked people like me. You’re his proudest disciple, so of course you’re the same as him, haha. I refuse.” Chapter 62, EXR translation
…the painful flashback immediately preceding this. The third set of flashbacks (which are also painful) are a similar case. Look at the contex:
He lifted the bottom of his robe, revealing a prosthetic leg made of wood, “This leg of mine was destroyed by you, that night in the Nightless City (…)” (…) “Wei WuXian, I won’t ask you if you remember or not. Both of my parents died by your hands. You owe too many people. You definitely won’t remember them either. But, I, Fang MengChen, will never forget! And never forgive you!” (…) “In the fight at Qiongqi Path, my son was strangled to death by your dog Wen Ning!” “My shixiong died by poison, his entire body festering due to your cruel curse!” Chapter 68 (immediately preceding the flashbacks), EXR translation
And Wei Wuxian’s own thoughts and words:
Wei WuXian looked at the cultivators before the Demon-Slaughtering Cave. Their expressions were the absolute same as those of the cultivators from the night of the pledge conference, pouring their wine on the ground as they took the pledge to scatter the ashes of the Wen Sect’s remnants and him. (…) Wei WuXian, “Now it’s time to ask just whom it is that treasures it so much. It’s like Wen Ning. Back then, some certain sects or so were scared to death of the Ghost General. They said they’d kill him on the surface, but behind their backs they hid him for over ten years. How strange. Who was the one that said his ashes had been scattered back then?” Chapter 79 (immediately succeeding the flashbacks), EXR translation
Once again, Wei Wuxian’s own thoughts relate to the flashbacks we’ve just been shown. And, as I previously mentioned, though all the events which are shown are tragic, they’re also events which Wei Wuxian’s own choices and actions shaped – which he has this to say about:
“The things I did, not only do you remember them, I remember them too. You won’t forget them, and they’ll stay even longer in my mind!” Chapter 82, EXR
Admittedly, this applies more to the third set of flashbacks than the second (which is still fitting as the third set was the most recent), as in the second, although he still had agency within and influence over his circumstances, the majority of the pain was caused by others’ actions (excluding, of course, the Golden Core transfer… which is something we know stays for a long time in his mind, albeit with a caveat we’ll soon discuss). But it’s still important to note – especially considering that otherwise, focusing on this very painful time in his life wouldn’t seem like something very in-character for Wei Wuxian to do.
Of course, this can all just be explained by good writing. It is best to insert flashbacks when they’re relevant to the characters and events in the present day! But it is interesting to compare these to the start of the (not painful) Gusu flashbacks, which open this way:
At a later time, Wei WuXian pondered upon the reason why his relationship with Lan WangJi wasn’t good. Getting to the root of the matter, everything started when he was fifteen, coming to the GusuLan Sect with Jiang Cheng to study for three months. Chapter 13, EXR
Again, considering the circumstances around which these flashbacks take place – returning to the Cloud Recesses for the first time since the lectures, and meeting Lan Wangji once more – it makes complete sense for Wei Wuxian to be thinking about these events*. So it does fit the pattern of Wei Wuxian dwelling on something, thus leading to the narrative dwelling on it, too (and being shaped by his thoughts)… but there’s another layer to this. Importantly, it is the only flashback where Wei Wuxian’s present thoughts don’t lead to this happening, with his thoughts at an unspecified future time leading to it, instead. I like to interpret this as the text saying that, since these events aren’t something Wei Wuxian wouldn’t focus on in normal circumstances, he can dwell on them at any time. Therefore, they’re free to come up in the narrative at any time as well, even if he’s not dwelling on them in the present moment!
So, to summarise: Wei Wuxian’s decision not to focus on the painful times in his life directly influences the narrative to not focus on these times. When painful times are brought up and shown to us, it’s in the context of him thinking about them in the present day, and even then, his most painful moments still aren’t shown to us. His agency in this regard is still respected by the narrative structure.
This is the main way his agency influences the structure of the narrative, but I’d like to talk about the revealing and concealing of information, too. For example, I said I’d talk about the Golden Core transfer – though Wei Wuxian does think about this many times, as evidenced by his internal narration in Chapter 103. But unlike everything we’re shown through the flashbacks, this is something Wei Wuxian is actively trying to hide from others. And the narrative respects this choice (Wei Wuxian’s agency, again), never reveals it even when it would be relevant in the flashbacks, and we find out not through narration, but through a character’s dialogue!
And to clarify – I know these aspects may not be in the book for this exact reason. Showing flashbacks in relevant moments is good writing, concealing an important plot point you want to do a reveal for is necessary writing, and MXTX has said she didn’t want to write about Wei Wuxian’s time in the Burial Mounds, due to not liking to write transformation sequences (and also because it would not be pleasant at all, which likely also applies to Wei Wuxian’s death). That doesn’t prevent it from also being intentional – MXTX’s intelligence is shown in many aspects of this book, and there’s nothing disproving it – but there’s no proof for either option, so I won’t pretend there is. I bring this up because I know this feels like I’m overanalysing, as I feel that way as well.
But, whether it’s intentional or not, it exists in the text, and I adore it – so, regardless, it’s something I’ll explore. Because taking this into account… We aren't just told about Wei Wuxian having agency, we aren’t just shown it in the text, we aren’t even just shown it through which parts of his past are shown and hidden in the structure of the text (as I talked about in Part One). The parts of the past that are shown and hidden also have an in-universe reason for being shown and hidden, this reason being the choices he makes! Agency is the ability of a character to influence the story they’re in, but Wei Wuxian’s agency, as a property of a character who only exists in-universe, shapes the out-of-universe structure as well! That’s how we’re shown its importance! How cool is that?
At The End Of The Road: Summary and Final Thoughts
In this essay, we’ve covered how important Wei Wuxian’s agency is not only to the events of the plot, but to the structure of the narrative as well. The narrative omits periods in which Wei Wuxian has little or no agency, in favour of showing us periods in which he does, even when important events happened in the former. This indicates that who Wei Wuxian is without agency isn’t important enough to be shown to the audience, and therefore that his agency is an integral aspect of his character in MDZS. We’ve discussed how both in-universe and out-of-universe, tragedy does not define him – out-of-universe, the tragic events in Wei Wuxian’s life are used not to build sympathy but rather to show his strength of character and who he still is despite going through them; and in-universe, he chooses not to focus on the negativity and resentment caused by his circumstances or others’ actions, instead staying true to his moral compass and enjoying his life in the present day. Finally, we’ve also explored how this choice is another reason for the omission of certain events from the narrative, resulting in his agency shaping the story in a very literal way – it affects the out-of-universe structure, as well.
It’s quite fitting, for a story whose essence is about defying a conventional narrative – that of righteous clans rising up and defeating a great evil – and about a character who defies many conventional narratives on his own – that of status defining how skilled you could be, that for a golden core being necessary for cultivation and other paths being unavailable, that of a tragic but complete story of someone killed for staying true to their moral code (instead, that character returns to life and has a happy ending) – to have its own narrative play a role in such an important and interesting way.
(Or, if an image would be preferable:)
Thank you for reading!
(Part One | Part Two | Full version on AO3)
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*This strong relation to the present day circumstances is another reason I love the flashback placement so much (and why I think it’s such a loss both screen adaptions altered it so strongly)!
#get ready for tag thoughts because there are a LOT of them#it’s for THIS reason that fanon wwx bothers me so much (didn’t want to get negative on the acual post)#bc so often all the changes are changes that woobify him!#self-sacrificial idiot wwx?? only doing things because… poor him he has so many internal issues and values himself so little-#-so of course he’d sacrifice everything before thinking of another option? woobifying#(whenever he sacrifices something it’s a deliberate choice to act on his morals because he values his morals so much – and he’s also very-#-capable and DOES often find ways for no people to get hurt!)#wasn’t aware that what happened to him at lotus pier was wrong and needs lwj to tell him that for him to have any idea if it?#woobifying (as we see in the lotus seed pod extra he KNOWS it’s unfair)#(he downplays it retroactively in his memory (links into not focusing on the bad things in his life))#(but that’s the actions themselves that are being downplayed not their fairness!)#he chooses to act! he is defined by acting! not tragedy – all the more impressive in the face of the amount of tragedy that’s happened#he could SO EASILY have been a woobie but instead he’s the opposite of one: defined BY his agency instead of the absence of it#that doesn’t mean he’s not impacted by tragedy or trauma – he is! but it’s not the most important aspect of his character (bc he doesn’t le#it’s also something that bothers me about the changes cql made#by making qq path and nightless city the fault of someone else it means he IS someone who’s more a victim of circumstance than anything els#he had no control over the tragedies of his first life at all#apart from ig his death being controlled by him? because he just leaps off the cliff during the nightless city siege?? but in THAT case it’#i watched that part recently (i’m getting through it very slowly) and yeah it reaffirmed my love for this aspect of the book even more#despite. having these exact thoughts for two years already#he also dwells on the past events a lot more than book wwx which adds to that version of him BEING defined more by tragedy rather than who#anyway over 7.3k words total (and 400 more in the tags apparently)... it'll be posted to ao3 in its completion this evening!#mdzs meta#my meta#wei wuxian#mdzs#mo dao zu shi#魔道祖师#grandmaster of demonic cultivation#gdc
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