#i need to actually stop myself from apologizing everytime i post anything

[yudol-skorbi]

Finally caught portfolio day while its still going and i dont want to post anything bc i feel like everything i draw is just shit and no one honestly should see it and i should delete all my art accounts forever and reconsider being any kind of artist at all

[rainbowramsalt]

Tw Antisemitism Tw White Supremacy Tw Homophobia

Ohhh boy Wilbur Soot.

So to start this off I am not Jewish, and I'm not a person of color. I'm just writing my own thoughts, do not take this for anything as I am not a member of the affected groups. I am also not linking the thread as it was made by a member of leaktwt (a subtwt dedicated to digging up personal info of content creators).

(in case you don't know what's going on a thread on Twitter was posted exposing a lot of antisemitic, white supremacy, and homophobic things that Wilbur and his friend's from his group channel Soothouse had engaged with when he was 19/20. So 2016ish)

Sorry if this is messy. I'm writing this at 4:45am, running on 30 mins of sleep, on my phone, and I have ADHD.

I think the thing that confuses me the most is why people brought it up. Wilbur has been very transparent with us that he was a shitty person years ago. He never went into specifics, I can't say I blame him now knowing the actual content, but he has been extremely transparent. Now I can't say the same for the rest of Soothouse given I don't watch them but I know Wilbur has been transparent.

I'm not defending him! Not even close, this shit is disgusting and literally awful, and Wilbur does need to talk about it and properly apologize.

But all this does is expose his audience, especially people effected by the rhetoric Wilbur was engaging with. Something he has stated time and time again he no longer engages with, and that he's extremely embarrassed he engaged with. To the type of person he USED to be.

That's going to be in their minds everytime they watch a stream, video, listen to his music, see him on someone else's stream, or even just see his name.

This happened to me with a (former) content creator I watched. He was deplatformed but every time I see his first name I associate it with that person. I can't even watch his friends (all good people and I wish the best for them) anymore because of that association.

So even though he's clearly changed, those people are going to always have what he said/did/promoted 6 to 7 years ago in the back of their minds. And due to that they may stop watching him, which they are entirely entitled to do so, again I'm not a member of the group effected.

And the people who dug up the information are Stranger Things stans which has its own antisemitic problem (the best word I could think of sorry), so pot calling the kettle black much? As well as literally going through Steam's code to find this information.

And it was 2016. They were young white men in Britain during the height of neo-nazism and fascism humor and groups on the internet. Particularly in predominately white-cishet-male gaming environments. I myself am found guilty of finding a few of the "jokes" during that time funny (I was 13 growing up in the conservative Midwest. And do not reflect how I feel now.) And while this isn't an excuse for that, it was the humor for that group at the time.

Again, I'm not defending Wilbur at all. And I definitely don't want to speak over Jewish people or people of color. I'm just saying something that may help to quell the sense of immediate panic people may be going through. As well as bringing up some points I'm too scared to post on Twitter.

Jewish people and people of color feel free to add anything you'd like to add! I'm not trying to take away from what you guys need to say! And I'm definitely not trying to tell you how to feel or anything of that sort.

Edit: Would also like to say he wasn't like actively promoting anything. He was making incredibly antisemitic "jokes", and interacting with sootJacks when he had the f slur in his username.

As far for the "jokes" we have proof of him naming a factory Auchwitz in Factorio which is a factory building game, making a swastika in ultimate chicken horse, and interacting with people who had pepe (yes the frog, it used to be a nazi dogwhistle. And I'm not sure if it still is) pfps.

[meenah-chan]

Safe Haven ~Epilogue~

A Barbatos x GN! MC fanfic

1.98k words

Genre: Angst/Fluff

Trigger warning: None

Requested by: @romaissa Thank you for waiting for this. I apologize for the wait. This turns out the way as I imagined it to be, more or less. I felt so fluffy as I edited this for the last time. I hope you'll like this last part. Enjoy~~ 😚✨💖💖💖

Part 1 (Safe Haven) | Part 2 (Safe Haven ~Another Story~)

Masterlist

A Barbatos x GN! MC fanfic

1.98k words

Genre: angst

Trigger warning: None

It was the same cliff… trees and breeze... The same dusk… But the voice calling them were not anymore...

… sensitive yet capable... One that withstand pain and hardship yet kept their gentleness.

Despite it being in the middle of the day, the sky enveloping the Devildom is dark. Very unlike that place. A place where the sun would shine so brightly even from the back of their mind. Not the human world where they grew up. Not the Celestial realm they visited once. It was only the Devildom whose light came from the moon and not the sun. Should the moon doesn’t exist in this kingdom, it’ll surely be pitch black.

Yet, in the dimness of the kingdom they’ve suddenly been to... Who would have thought I would meet my sun in such a place? A smile formed on their face as they delved deeper in their thoughts.

As they did so, a strong wind blew past them. It was strong, they didn’t notice someone approaching them.

“Oh!” a pat on their shoulder snapped them back from their deep thoughts.

“Y/N? What are you doing?” They flit their head behind and meet with the same, familiar eyes.

“Lord Diavolo... Nothing. And Queen Rose? Did something happen?” Their surprised demeanor was replaced with a confused one. Why wouldn’t it? Since unless some responsibility on the Kingdom required to, the royal couple is technically attached at the hip. Which is still pretty rare.

“Stop with those formalities. You’re making me sad.” As if he were not such a tall, well-built demon, Diavolo looks at them like a weeping dog.

“Alright, I’m just teasing you... So, what happened?”

“Rose got angry over one of my posts on Devilgram.” His pout becomes more obvious as he complains to them like a child.

“Oh, that picture.” Diavolo didn’t have to elaborate further for them to guess which one it is. It was a picture of Diavolo pecking the Queen on her cheek on their bed chamber.

“Even if I were her, I would be mad. You’re the rulers of Devildom after all. You can’t afford showing any vulnerability to your people.”

“But love is our strength!” He emphasized the last word with his hand gesture and furrowed brows.

Which only received a giggle from the human. “You sound like those princesses in the movie we watched yesterday.”

“Hey, I’m being serious… Since when did you take her side anyway?”

“I’m just speaking with reason.”

“You’re so harsh these days. Where is the angel I knew? Barbatos is rubbing on you a bit too much.”

“I won’t be if you were a bit more reasonable. And remember, Simeon can be scary too sometimes.”

Diavolo paused for a moment to think. “Right.” And let out a sigh. “Why can't I win a debate with you? I'm the King, you know.”

“Then be glad I'm an ally.”

“But Y/N...” Diavolo stared at them for a moment. “I noticed you're becoming more beautiful. More than ever.”

“...Where’s Queen Rose? She needs to know the king’s flirting with his ex—”

“Hey, I don't mean it! I mean, not that way! You're beautiful as a friend.”

“Beautiful more than ever as a friend, yes?”

“I mean it with pure intention! And Rose is the most beautiful! You know that!”

“Most beautiful. Favorite line, huh…” They sassily fiddled with their nails as they stared at it.

“Let's settle this here? I-I'll even grant you a wish.”

They glanced at him from their nails and stared at him. “Pfft— Hahaha!! I'm kidding, I’m kidding, pfft— hahaha! You should have seen your face, hahaha!”

“Are you messing with me again?” He frowned at them.

“I was but, hey. A wish from the King is rather enticing.”

Looking straight in their eyes, “Are you still mad because of our past?” he asked. As if he's been holding this question back for so long. In guilt of what they have been through because of him.

And with a smile, they replied “No.”

It was the truth.

They could never hold anything against Diavolo. They can never hate the man they fell in love with…

“Your face is just so hilarious I can't help it.” Rather, they wanted to see that expression one last time. That expression I adored way too much, as I fell beside the cliff.

“Since when did you become so fickle?” Yet despite his words, a sense of relief emanates from the Royal Demon.

He is now certain. He is finally free from the shackles he created himself. And they...

“Spare Barbatos some slack. Some regular day offs will do too and you’ll be absolved of your offense.” Without Diavolo being able to snap a last glance on their face, they turned their back to him and started walking. Despite it, a smile formed on his face.

“Consider it done...” He said as they wave as a response before disappearing from his sight.

I see you’re finally free from my curse... Diavolo chuckled as he left to return to his queen, ready to ask for another forgiveness.

---------

“Y/N.” It was the same cliff. The same trees and breeze. The same dusk who witnessed everything. But the voice calling them were not the prince’s anymore.

“Barbatos, you’re early.”

“I apologize for always making you wait for me but,” worry was showing on his face as he looked at them. “...do you always wait here this early?”

“Don’t mind it. I love waiting for you.” Barbatos’ heart skipped a beat from their words, a tint of pink forming on both person’s ear tips.

“A-Ah, right. You didn’t tell me you'll plant some flowers here.” They touched the petals of the Forget-me-not flowers as if to avert the butler’s attention.

It was as healthy as the one they took care of or perhaps even healthier.

“Were they not to your liking?”

“No, I… love them.”

“Then I'd be glad if that were the case. I raised them with the thoughts of you after all.” Even though Barbatos’ remarks were always like that, they couldn’t help but feel bashful everytime.

“Seriously, how can you say some cheesy lines so smoothly?”

“Hmm? I don’t recall saying such things.” He lifted a knuckle under his chin while glancing upward as if in thoughts.

“This guy..!” All they could do is shut up and frown. They couldn’t remember a time where they actually won on Barbatos’ wordplays.

“Is there something that displeases my flower?” Barbatos moved towards them when the frown they wore turned into a sad smile when they glanced again at the blue flowers.

“Well...” they sighed, Barbatos now stepping in to caress their face. “I just remembered the poor flowers I destroyed that day. I cared for them for a long time only to die from my own hands.”

Barbatos brushed his thumb to their cheek, fondness reflected in his eyes. “But they didn’t.” It was still like a dream for him to be able to hold them freely as he wished.

“What do you mean? Of course they will. I pulled them all off the ground myself.”

“Would you believe me if I said this plant was your flower’s seedlings and roots?”

“Y-You mean..!?” The human’s eyes snapped back to the Forget-me-nots. That’s probably why the flowers have the exact same shade and size as back then.

“I thought it’ll be a great gift for you.” He let them go to squat and check the flowers closely.

It took a while as they observed and admired the lush flowers. It was a comfortable silence, as Barbatos watched his favorite bud.

“Hey Barbatos.” Finally satisfied from staring at it, they rose on their feet. “I had some silly idle thoughts a while ago.”

“What is it?” He asked. But unlike them, the demon butler’s eyes never left his favorite flower. He could spend another millenia just gazing at them, and still say it’s the best sight he's ever seen.

“Devildom is a dark place no matter how I try to think of it.” He watch their back across the nightfall. The way the cold breeze brush through their locks. Those subtle shivers they give off as chills bites at their sensitive yet capable arms. One that withstand pain and hardship yet kept their gentleness.

“Then how come of all places, I’ll meet my sun there?” He tread beside them, not minding their words.

Not even the fondness in Barbatos’ eyes yields. Not in the slightest.

He knew. It was Diavolo. It will always be his Young Master. “He was so bright. So dazzling yet I couldn’t take my eyes off him. Diavolo will always be my sun.” And he… He already accepted this fact a long time ago. Staying by their side, until they found their happiness, is more than enough for him.

So instead of reacting, he removed his coat and placed it over their shoulder.

“I won’t forget. I will cherish the memories he left, no matter how painful it is. After all, he and the memories,” but they were thinking differently from Barbatos. They spun on their feet, suddenly facing him, who was just a few inches away from them, “...they all led me to my moon.” Their eyes were glistening, with him reflected in it. It took his breath– his words away.

“Shining through my darkest nights. Cradling me with its gentle light. Brushing off the tears from my eyes. My precious moon, who helped me remember that there’s still happiness beyond my sorrow.” They reached for his face. “Nights were supposed to be cold, yet he brings warmth instead. And you know what’s the most amusing thing?”

“In Devildom, whether it is day or night, you can see the moon in its brightest.” He never wants to assume anything, yet the way their thumb runs across his cheek so tenderly… The hope he hid with all his might, surges out wanting to be freed.

“Oh, but there is just one problem with my moon. He was so selfless, he wouldn't take me to himself.” The hand next to his cheek moved and brushed to the tip of his nose.

“Pardon?” He thought he finally sealed it away so perfectly, so why… With just a single touch…?

“I don’t wanna be single forever yet he keeps on ignoring my signs...”

“Wait, you mean…” But his promise… his vow to them...

“I still can’t say I don’t have any more feelings with Diavolo but I swear, I mean it. That’s why I’m already taking this to my hands… Hey–!” The knot within Barbatos’ heart came undone, along with the stream of tears he’s holding back due to their dreamlike words.

“Barbatos. Hey, don’t cry.”

They tried scooping his face with both hands only to stop by his own.“I’m so happy.” He placed one of their hands on his chest. It was warm, with his heart practically drumming crazily fast.

He never knew it’s possible to feel happier than the day they allowed him by their side. Incomparably so. It was at that moment he felt so… alive.

“I thought it’ll be a great gift for you.”

“This is the greatest gift I’ve ever received in my life.” He pulled their other hand and placed a tender kiss on its palm.

“I wonder if I can surpass this next time.”

“Then how about a kiss? Can I kiss you?”

“You don’t have to ask,” They took another step towards him, “I love you, my Luna.”

“I love you more, my Flora.” Barbatos sewed the space between them and soon, two breaths became one. All the words dissolved between their lips. Yet, all the emotions bottled up within poured out.

Of loneliness. Of longing. Of elation. Of attachment and inclination. With a spice of passion and devotion. All swirling together, filling the gaps in their hearts.

They parted just to converge again, like how their threads of fate crossed, unraveled and intertwined together.

The coldness of the night now utterly nonexistent within their moment, as they were embraced by the vivid rays of moonlight.

Part 1 (Safe Haven) | Part 2 (Safe Haven ~Another Story~)

Masterlist

[ginanosakka]

I’m Sorry

Masterlist

I Hate It Here | Next

“How did you guys figure it out?” You sighed, dropping onto the bed and tossing your phone into the mess of sheets you couldn’t be bothered to make with the little sleep you ran on.

“I figured it out,” Katsuki said with a blatant possessive tone. “I know how you react to your old man, and you’ve made it clear that the bastard has no problem trying to kill you.” He explained, and you just nodded, deciding to disregard it in your exhausted state.

“Your dad gave me some off vibes back then, but I didn’t know just how bad it was. . I’m sorry all of this keeps happening to you.” Eijirou frowned, his anger seeming to simmer into pity for you.

Katsuki glared at him, “she doesn't need your apology when you didn’t do anything.”

‘They’d never really argue. . right?’ You thought, looking back and forth between the two silently.

“You’re right, but she deserves an apology from you. Katsuki! Maybe if you’d stop acting like that you two could get somewhere before someone else gives her the life she deserves!”

‘They would.’

“Okay, can we just-“ you were cut off by Katsuki.

“You don’t understand a damn thing, stupid hair! Don’t act like you know her,” Katsuki growled and took a threatening step towards Kirishima that he mimicked without an ounce of fear.

“I know that you aren’t capable of being a real man and admitting you’re wrong,” Kirishima bit back.

When a small explosion went off in Katsuki right hand you immediately put yourself between the two with you back to Kirishima, and your arms were held out in front of you to stop Katsuki. His piercing red eyes still didn’t meet yours, and you assumed he and Kirishima were having a stare down, but neither would make a move with you between them. Whether it was because they were still heroes even when angry or something much deeper, you didn’t know and this was no time to find out.

“Kirishima. . I need you to go for now. Thank you for sticking up for me,” you addressed the redhead.

You didn’t get a response for a moment, but after a while he muttered a quiet, “okay.” You watched as Eiji moved to leave the room with a final glance at you, and the moment he was out of the room you took a step away from Bakugou.

“I can’t keep doing this with you,” you sighed once again and ran a hand over your face.

“. . . He’s right.”

You almost got whiplash from how fast your head whipped up to meet his face. Katsuki Bakugou looked absolutely guilt ridden, and you were sure your eyes had become the size of saucers looking at that expression on his face. Especially after he was just ready to blow Kirishima’s face off for saying what he did.

“I broke your heart and made you think you weren’t worth shit, I gave you a kid and left you to struggle for six years, and when you took the time to tell me and let me meet my kid, I forgot that what I made you out to be was a liar and spoiled brat when you were nothing like that. I-“

You tried to cut him off, “I’m over it-“

He glared at you, “stop fucking lying. I can see it everytime you look at me. You think about the day I told you that I was done pretending to like spending time with you. . that you were just some spoiled princess and the only reason I hung around you was because your father offered me a damn deal! I lied!”

Your world had been shattered before, on multiple occasions that left you in a near out of body experience from the sheer shock, not to mention the pain. The words that came out of his mouth made a numbness wash over your entire body, and you could only stare at his tears eyed face that was flushed with so many emotions. Was this the face that broke you all those years ago? This was why he couldn’t look you in the eyes when he brought your world to a stop? None of it made sense to you, but there was so little you knew behind the scenes of your entire childhood that came to light in bits and pieces.

“What?” Was the only word you could process, your brain just needing more information to make even one word of what he was saying seem real.

“I wasn’t supposed to care about you, I was just supposed to put up with you until you found something else you were interested in, that’s what my deal was with that bastard. I thought it was going to be easy, like babysitting sims little brat and then I’d get ahead of that damn half-and-half bastard and Deku. . but you were so determined to be around me, and I couldn’t find a single thing that was actually wrong with you!” Katsuki seethed, his hands curling up into fists at his side. “You were always there for me no matter what I said to you, and you didn’t care at all whether or not I was going to be the number one hero or just some loser. . and I hated myself because I loved you!”

“You’re lying-“ Oh, how the tables turn.

“I kissed you first. I know you remember that, and I know you remember how real that was, Y/N. You felt everything I was feeling that night.”

That stupid night.

It was just a regular night by your standards, you doing the most impossible task of entertaining Katsuki when something was plaguing his mind. You didn’t mind talking for hours to him, it made you feel useful when he would come to you with all these complicated emotions that you never experienced before. He had a bigger part in life than you, and you were just happy to ease his mind when his life wasn’t guaranteed.

“My tutor said I’m probably better at tricking him than any actual subject, and I don’t really think that’s a bad thing when I can get him to waste an hour telling me about his daughter’s first steps than teaching me math-“

“You talk too much.” Before you could retort back to him or even look at him, he had his arms around your waist and pulled you to lay down with him on your bed.

“If you wanted to cuddle, all you had to do was say something,” you smirked with a laugh.

The initiation of contact was enough for you, giving you the go ahead to grab his hand that wasn’t behind your head and gently rub it. It took months for him to be okay with you touching his hands so freely, and despite the fact that he said it was because he didn’t like touching, you knew he was scared to hurt you. It was the same way you knew he was hurting, or sad, or happy.

“You’re a little shit,” he responded with his red eyes glaring softly into yours, but you could see the small ghost of a smile threatening to show on his face.

“But I’m your little shit. I bet you if I was anything less than a little shit, you’d be bored of me. That’s why you’re always-“

Soft and warm lips pressed against yours, and you were flipped onto your back with him hovering over you. The flips your stomach was doing, the way your heart was nearly beating out of your chest, and the fog that was beginning to coat your brain left you whirling. He had never kissed you before, settling for rare hugs and gentle touches when you were alone that would kill him to speak about to anyone else. Your body was on fire, and just when you thought his lips would leave yours for good, they once again pressed against yours with fever and need that you were so unaware of before.

When his lips finally did leave yours, his face hovering just inches above yours, you could see the blush covering his cheeks that was accompanied by a cocky smirk on his face. “I said you talk too much.” He taunted before connecting the both of you once again.

You wished for nothing else but to be frozen in that moment.

“There was nothing in that deal with him that made me sleep with you. That night made me feel so stupid, because how was I suppose to love you and pretend like you weren’t being lied to and used by everyone. I knew if I were to come clean and say some stupid apology you’d accept it, you’d forgive everyone around you that didn’t deserve you. I had to lie to myself for days after that and tell myself all those horrible things about you, make myself actually believe them and do what was right.. What I thought was right- Damn it!”

He got onto his knees and you weren’t sure if your jaw was going to hit the floor first or your eyes that were nearly bulging out of your sockets. This was happening. Everything was beginning to make sense, your heart was hurting and your head was spinning, and Katsuki fucking Bakugou was on his knees in front of you. You didn’t know you were crying until your vision became so blurry you couldn’t make out Katsuki’s figure, but you could see that his head was down in shame.

“I’m sorry. I am so fucking sorry, Y/N, and you should hate me. . but I’m not going to stop trying and I’m not going to sit here and let you take that bastard down alone. . and I’m not going to let someone else take my

spot without a fight.”

Katsuki blinked away the tears in his eyes as silence fell in the room, unsure of how you were reacting and if he had done the right thing by throwing his pride away. He looked up despite his fear and doubt, needing to know what was going through your head. Your eyes were closed now, the tears falling down your face at a slow pace. Your bottom lip was trembling, and he could see the smallest signs that you were shaking where you stood.

“Y/N-“ He reached out his hand to you, but in a split second his head was snapped to the left, the stinging on his cheek truly cementing what you had just done. He turned his head slowly back to you, expecting to see rage, but a goofy smile he hadn’t seen in years was on your tear stained face.

“You’re a little shit, you know that?”

(A/N: My favorite chapter by far. Really, this one eats.)

Taglist (Closed) <3 : @fandomgirllover @cloudsgathering @that-bipolar-renegade-romantic @jazzylove @that-chick212 @bonbonthedragon @misssugarless @insomniac-nerd-posts-things @bakugous-bakahoe @pinkykookie17 @animexholic @arielting @samkysnks @simpforeveryone @damnirina @deneuves @tsumuuumiyaaaa @vintage-teddyxo @regalmigraine @samvmgh @iamagalaxy @officialtrashbusiness @xwackk @videogameboiwhowins @marajillana @ellasdilemma @plutoneu @saucey-kneecapzz42020 @thestarsanctuary @dewdropwifu @star-light-imagines @kritiiiii @bakugosbottombitch @the2ndl @candybabey @simply-not-the-same @sam-i-am-1025 @mes-bisous @eternallyvenus @peppytine @chaelysian @definitely-yours @oikawarc @suneaterofthebig3 @m0na-l0ver @nkb0048 @losertsukki @notyourfavorlte @caramelsquares @hikaru-mikazuki

[machinegunbun]

Is there gonna be a third part for Deserved It🥺

Deserve You+#

Word count:1.7k

A/N: Everyone say thank youu anon for reminding me lmaoo. This was supposed to be posted tomorrow but I got excited soo

“Pete, please just let me explain.” You whimpered, your voice and spirit growing weak. It felt hopeless, like maybe you really had lost him for good.

Your fist knocked lightly against the wood of the hotel room door, the sound reverberating down the silent hallway.  Anxiety filled you, this wasn’t your first time knocking. You had been here for fifteen minutes and were completely unsuccessful so far.

You were pleasantly surprised when you heard fumbling from inside, not expecting them to answer. When the door swung open you were met with the sight of Colson towering over you, an unimpressed glare being shot your way

“He can’t hear you, he’s in the shower. Now stop, you’re pissing me off.”

“Please.”

“What do you want?” The question was more of a statement, letting you talk only to get you to leave.

“Is he okay?” You ask, sniffling.

“What the fuck do you think?” 

“Please, I just wanna make it better.“ You plead

“Then go the fuck home.” He replies, shutting the door halfway before opening it again “And stop fucking knocking.” He adds, shutting the door in your face. Sighing, your back slides down the door, admitting defeat.

As you sat in the all too quiet hallway you found yourself wondering if maybe it meant more than you would like to admit. Maybe Colson was right, would you have kissed Shawn if he had never walked in? Would you have even ever told Pete if you did? Would you even regret it?

Tears began to well up in your eyes at the thought. Who were you kidding? Of course you’d regret it, who cares what everyone else thinks? You knew better than anyone that leaving Pete for Shawn would be the downgrade of a lifetime, and the fact that people based the opposite assumption purely over their own ideals of beauty was fucked up. Pete treated you better than Shawn ever did, he made you feel more than Shawn ever could. He made you a better person, you couldn’t believe your judgement had lapsed that badly, even for so much as a second.

Your head knocked against the door twice, trying to bang the anxious thoughts directly from their source, before the door swung open, the tall blonde giving you a single disapproving look when he spotted you on the floor.

“Is it the pizza?” You could hear Pete ask from inside. Right, you hadn’t gotten the chance to eat dinner

“Nah, it’s just Rook. I’ll be right back, you got the door for me?”

“Yeah, I got it.” Pete replied, his voice hoarse. You could only imagine he’d been crying.

You glanced up at Colson from your place on the floor, embarrassed.

“Just let me talk to him.”

“No.”

“He's not a baby, he doesn't need you to protect him.” You mumble

“No, but he cares about you.  A lot. A-fucking-lot a lot, and I know if I let him out here and he sees you crying he’ll run right back into your arms.” 

“I just wanna see him. I hurt him and it's killing me to know I can't hold him and make him feel better. I just wanna hold him.” You say, your voice cracking.

“Why don’t you just leave him alone and call Shawn instead so he can cheat on you again and you can go on another fucking bender and pretend like theres something interesting about your life.”

“Fuck you.” You retort, although you know his anger is the only reason for his words

“Fuck you too, (Y/N). Who took care of you after you went on your little fucking bender? Pete. Who helped you through the breakup? Pete. Who was with you when you felt like the whole world hated you even though you did nothing wrong? Pete. Who was there for you, romantic or not, whenever you needed him? Pete.If you really want to apologize you need to wipe those fucking tears, take a breath, clean yourself up, and fucking apologize without guilting him into saying its okay.”

“Okay, Okay. I’m not Casie.”

“Damn right you’re not, cause my daughter would’ve never pulled this dumb shit in the first place. And get off the fucking floor, you look pathetic.” He scolds, watching as you stand up, still almost a foot shorter than him. Colson turns around, pushing the door open as it was only half shut. You peer inside, trying to catch sight of Pete, but seeing only a piece of the hallway.

You remained on the floor, not daring to knock once again out of fear Colson might call security on you.

Your head ticked up curiously when you heard someone walking down the hallway, looking up to see Rook making his way towards you. Glancing down at you, he knocked, waiting for a moment before Colson was walking out of the door. Colson looked down at you as well, mild disgust gracing his features before he was walking down the hallway alongside Rook, the two boys disappearing into the elevator.

Pete walked out five minutes later, hoping you hadn’t given up and left. His eyes lit up when he saw you, first reaction being to fix the pout that was stamped on your face.

“Oooh, you got in trouble.” Pete teases, shutting the door behind himself and taking a seat next to you on the carpeted floor, not entirely caring that it was dirty as long as you were right down there with him.

“You heard?”

“It’s a hotel door, not a soundproof barrier.” He jokes, looking at you “Yeah, I heard everything. Listen, he shouldn’t have said any of that to you. He was angry, that’s all.”

“Don’t defend me.” You reply, looking over to meet his eyes. Pete purses his lips, his eyes filling with tears

“I’m always gonna defend you.” He says, his eyes leaving yours as he does, landing on the floor instead. The tone of his words are less reassuring and more disappointed. You thought for a moment he would cry, but he didn’t. His hand never even so much as came up to wipe his tears. Another brief silence fell over you, one more and you think you’d rip your hair out. You were unsure if you should wrap your arms around him the way you wanted to, the last thing you wanted to do was manipulate him into telling you what you did wasn’t a problem.

“I get it.” Pete says, breaking the silence.

“What?” You ask, your voice surprising even you in the midst of such stillness,  feeling foreign and unlike your own

“I get if you want to be with him,” Your eyes meet once again as he says this “I won’t hate you.” He assures, his lips pushing together in a sad, half smile. You stared at him, examining his features and what you had done to him, but in Pete’s mind you were weighing out your options, and everytime Shawn came out on top. He was so caught up in his own mind he almost didn’t catch it when you began shaking your head.

“Oh thank god, cause he’s back at our place right now and we fucked on our bed-” Pete’s head tilted down in disappointment, focusing on his tattooed fingers. You laughed, punching his arm lightly “No, I want you dummy. Why else would I be humiliating myself by crying in a la quinta hallway. What's up with that, by the way? Colson doesn’t have the money to put you up somewhere better? You just got your heart broken.” Pete cracked a smile, his gaze shifting up to the door.

“I know the breakup was hard for you, and everything after it too. I guess I can understand just wanting something before it felt like the world turned it’s back to you.”

“No. I don’t want that, I don’t want Shawn. Sappy love songs, extravagant vacations, waking up early to exercise, flirting publicly as fan service, the perfect family-”

“Okay, okay we get it. He has a dad.” He laughs  “Stop rubbing it in.”

“And actually nice hotels, seriously what the fuck is this.” You laughed, your heart swelling with love when you managed to make Pete smile “It’s just not who I am anymore. I’m late nights watching TV, laughing by the fridge when we get up at 3am to make snacks cause we have the munchies. I'm sitting in your backyard with you, your mom and your sister while we eat dinner and breathe the fresh air and look at the stars. I’m going on walks cause we’re depressed and need the sun to convince us we’re okay again. You changed me in the best ways, baby. I don’t want anything else.” You stared at the ceiling, vivid images flashing through your mind, thinking who you are now is so much more beautiful than who you were then.

You hadn’t even realized Pete was crying until he sniffled, your gaze drifting back over to him, the sight breaking your heart.

“Fucking lame.” He replies, both of his hands coming up to wipe his eyes, his sweatshirt pulled over his hands. You reach over, wrapping your arms around him and pulling him into your grasp. Laying there in peaceful silence, you find yourself running your hands through his hair, inhaling his scent and letting his body warm your own. You felt yourself calm down for the first time tonight with him in your arms.

The moment was broken as someone exited their hotel room, glancing down at the two of you on the floor before making their way to the pool, towel flung over their shoulder. Pete and you shared a look of amusement as he walked away, stifling your laughter until he made it to the elevator.

“Come on, let's go inside.” He says, trying the doorknob. There’s a thump sound as it moves a bit and stops, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion before giving it another try. You tilted your head, looking at the doorknob and to Pete as a look of realization overtook his features.

“I forgot my key.” He sucks his teeth, shaking his head as you laugh from your place on the floor.

[buckyownsmylife]

Catch me - Tom Hardy smut

The one where you’re Tom’s neighbor and he comes to your place after he’s locked out of his house on a rainy night. Requested by anon. + Dry Humping also requested by different anon ask

Warnings: smut, unprotected sex, cursing

A/N: okay, so here it is! My Tom Hardy requested smut! I’d also like to announce that I’ll be attempting to partake in this years’ Kinktober, and this is my first fic, fulfilling the prompts dry humping + face sitting. I’ll post the list of prompts I created for myself, along with the characters they are paired up with, a bit later. I also say “attempting” because I actually had a pretty bad accident last night and I’m still unable to do regular things like sitting or walking, so it’s been a struggle to get this done. If in anyday I am unable to write, I won’t force myself to do it. But that’s all, please enjoy this fic and let me know what you think of it! My requests are now empty, so feel free to send me any ideas you might have - I can either integrate them in one of my fics for the kinktober challenge or work on them in November.

Tom’s P.O.V.

I had watched with only partly concealed interest as the new neighbor slowly grew more comfortable at her place right next door to me. At first, it truly was just a slight curiosity founded in my observation of just how beautiful she was. But then, one day, right after she moved in, she caught me staring, and opened up the most beautiful smile I’d ever seen. Just like that, I was stuck with a teenage-boy crush that left me blushing and stuttering every single time she so much as looked my way. 

If there was one thing people knew about me, was that I was not the blushing, stuttering type.

But things only got worse as time went on. She turned out to be just the perfect neighbor, usually coming around to offer me cookies or other baked goods precisely when I needed it the most.

“How do you always know when I’m feeling down or hungry, sweetheart?” I even ended up asking as I accepted yet another tray of brownies from her tiny hands. Her sweet little giggle went straight to my pants, instantly hardening my severely ignored member.

“It’s not that hard to figure out, Tom. Anytime you get back home this late, I can pretty much assume you barely had anything to eat all day, and it’s very clear you won’t have the energy to whip up anything right now.” My eyebrows raised up at her comment, but before I could satiate my curiosity, she quickly added, “And before you ask, no, I don’t spend my life looking out of the eyehole, you just have pretty loud steps when you’re tired, I can easily hear from my living room when you walk the hallway during the evening.”

Chuckling, I nodded, granting her that. I knew that she meant no harm, but I couldn’t help but to feel embarrassed. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I’ll try to be more mindful next time.” Her eyes widened at my apology, and she immediately waved my words away, clearly mortified by the fact that I had interpreted it as a complaint.

“Gosh, Tom, no, that’s not what I… Please, don’t worry about it. I’m just a terrible insomniac, and I have good ears. It’s not like you’re waking me up every time you come home or anything. That would be a bummer, but also highly improbable, since I’m a very heavy sleeper…” I had come to understand that she was very capable of maintaining a conversation completely by herself, but everytime she took notice of it, she scrambled to get out of my sight. I figured someone in her life must have told her she talked too much, but personally, I’d do anything to witness her little monologues at least a bit more. She just seemed so interesting, and selfless despite the constant stream of consciousness that poured out of her lips whenever she was nervous.

I liked knowing I made her nervous. It made me feel less terrible about wanting to know more about her. Did that make me a creep? Hell, probably. But I couldn’t pretend like I gave a damn. I felt this inexplicable attraction to her, her personality and body, and that was it. I wanted to uncover what it was about her that had me so engrossed.

And one night, the opportunity presented itself to me. I had gone out of my car in a hurry because of the rain that had decided to pour all over the city and didn’t look like it was stopping any time soon, so I only noticed that I had locked my keys on the trunk of the car when I was already in front of my own apartment’s door, dripping all over the hallway. 

Fuck, that was just so typical of me. Why did I even bother to get my backpack out of the car, when I was already arriving home close to midnight and would be back at work early in the morning? It wasn’t like I would have the time to use my computer or anything. 

Sighing, I ran a wet hand over my face in an effort to figure out my next move. Obviously I would need to get someone to open my car for me, but in the middle of the night, it’d be hard to know who would come. It would definitely be easier to find someone in the morning, and I could very well get an Uber to some cheap motel and spend the night there. 

I was about to do just that when suddenly the door behind me opened, and a delicious smell of lasagna filled my nostrils, making me aware of just how hungry I was. “Tom?” Her sweet, sweet voice instantly calmed my tense muscles, making me open a smile at the sight of her despite the series of events I had just lived through. “Is something wrong?” 

A low chuckle escaped my lips at the awareness of just how pathetic my situation was, but there was no real humour in my tone. I looked down at my wet shoes before gathering the courage to look her in the eye again, giving her a small smile. “I locked myself out,” was all I said, and before I could even further explain my situation, her eyes had widened and she was reaching out to me, holding me by my wrist and pulling me inside of her place. 

“You poor thing. And right on the worst night for it to happen? Here, sit down while I go look for something you can change into. Wouldn’t want you catching a cold, would we?” I briefly considered offering some kind of protest, explaining how I intended to go spend the night in a motel, but the truth was, I didn’t want to. It was late, I was tired and I was really fucking cold and just by being in the close proximity of this beautiful creature, I already felt a little bit better, so I’d just shut up and wait to see how this would play out for me. 

She came back with some sweatpants and a large cotton shirt, a bashful look on her face. “I bought these sweatpants from the male’s department because they’re usually comfier than the ones I find in the female department, they should fit you well.” I accepted the small bundle of fabric she offered, one eyebrow raised as I stared down at her in curiosity.

“What about the shirt?” I asked, and she blushed five different shades of pinks and reds, making her just that much cuter. It made me want to eat her whole, and the fact that she stood a few good feet under me didn’t help that at all. I knew I could break her so easily.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

I felt like I could slap myself over how silly I was behaving over something so ordinary. Why would Tom care about me having an ex? It was only natural, it’s not like I was a blushing virgin nun who never did anything slightly out of the ordinary. Sex was ordinary. I’ve done it before. I’m sure Tom wouldn’t assume I hadn’t.

Oh, what am I saying? There’s no way he has even considered this subject when it comes to me. Why on Earth would he be thinking about my sexual past? What is going on with me? I feel like I’m going insane. 

I could feel just how warm my face had gotten, but I still had some amount of pride in me to salvage the situation, so I managed to roll my eyes as I pushed Tom further inside my house, in the direction of my bathroom.

“You’re a smart man, you can figure out where the shirt came from.” His chuckle shouldn’t be so sexy, but what about this man wasn’t?

“That’s not the answer I hoped for.” And with that mysterious sentence, he locked himself in my bathroom and left me alone with my thoughts. Granted, most of them revolved around him, so I couldn’t really say I was that alone, but the lack of someone to talk to only meant that my mind was swirling and a lot of different things I shouldn’t be thinking about managed to dominate my head. 

Just what did he mean by what he said? Could it be that he… No, of course not. There was no reason for him to be jealous of me. It’s not like he could possibly want me. Right?

I spent the entire time he was taking a shower stuck in the same pattern of thoughts, so much so that I didn’t even notice he had come back to the kitchen and was watching me from the doorway until he cleared his throat, making me jump out of my skin while carrying a plate full of very hot lasagna.

“Oh,” was all I said as I felt some of the sauce spill on my hand and my chest, some even managing to get on my face. But Tom’s rough ‘Shit’ brought a giggle to my lips, despite the discomfort of the slight burning sensation on my skin. 

“‘M sorry, sweetheart. I thought you’d noticed me standing here.” While he assured me of his lack of intention to hurt me - as if I didn’t already know- he had grabbed the plate I was still holding onto and placed it on the counter, quickly procuring an already dirty rag and eagerly starting to clean me up, first my hand, and then…

Before he pressed the fabric to my chest, he looked up at me, his beautiful eyes catching mine and making me suck in a breath. “T-that’s alright,” I managed to get out, trying to look away from his hypnotizing gaze. “It doesn’t really hurt that bad. I think with a bit of cold water it might calm down.”

He nodded, agreeing with my words, but his gaze still searched mine for something I didn’t understand. “I sure hope so,” was all he said initially, his eyes finally dropping from mine to focus on the task at hand. “But I must say, I’m very disappointed.”

The comment puzzled me, rendering me useless for the time being. I could only tilt my head as I looked down at him, still crouching in front of me to clean my chest before he finally stood up on his full height and grabbed my face, gently engulfing it in one of those huge palms of his.

“I was really hoping that you were single, but I guess that would be expecting too much from the universe, considering how beautiful you are.” My eyes grew twice their normal size as I immediately tried to push him away and hide my face from his view, suddenly incredibly shy. But of course, he didn’t let me, instead pressing me against the counter and his very hard body, while he very carefully wiped away the few drops of sauce on my cheek.

For a few seconds, I let him work in silence, still trying to gather my nerves so I could say something. I should say something, shouldn’t I? I mean, here lies an opportunity that I never thought I’d experience, and here I was, being all silly about it. Finally, when he had at last finished slowly rubbing the rag against my skin, and seemed to be about to separate himself from me, I sprung into action, pulling him to me again by his forearms. 

“I-I am,” that’s all I managed to say, immediately cringing at my own lack of social skills. “Single, I mean.” Very smooth. Well done, Y/N. But despite my stupidity, it seemed that I was able to achieve my intention, since my sentence made Tom finally get rid of the rag and hold my face between both of his hands now, his thumbs softly running over my cheekbones.

“Oh, is that so?” He breathed out against my skin, our lips inches away from one another, and I shivered against my best wishes. That reaction caused a predatory smirk to appear on his face, and I knew then and there that I was in way over my head. “Good to know,” he whispered, and then his lips were on mine, forcing me to accept his tongue, eating me whole. 

He tasted like peppermint and coffee and I was already addicted to his taste, hoping to God I tasted as great to him as he did to me. At least, he didn’t complain. In fact, by the way he sucked on my tongue, forcing his deep inside my mouth, I’d go as far as to say that he did like what he tasted. 

Before long, he had pulled me up on the counter, his hands holding me by my waist as his lips ventured from my mouth to my jaw, until they found a spot on my neck that made me gasp and hold his shirt tightly, and then he was sucking, rolling his tongue on the spot where I could already feel a bruise forming, before his teeth carved their own impressions on my skin, imprinting himself on me.

My head swirled with the force of the emotions bursting through me. My legs wrapped themselves around his strong body, and I was happy that my hands knew what to do when my mind hadn’t still managed to catch up to this turn of events. When his tongue came out to lick right over my collarbones, the response gasp he elicited from me came out sounding much more like a sob than anything else.

“You’re so sensitive, princess,” He teased me, still otherwise occupied with marking my skin as his. “I’ve barely even started and here you are…” His hands ran through the expanse of my body, like he was showing his proof to an audience. “... a mess already.”

He wasn’t wrong. I was somehow dripping already. I could feel it, dripping from inside of me, slowly ruining the panties I was wearing. They were so not appropriate for the activities I was currently partaking in, but how the hell would I have known this was going to happen?

All I knew was that Tom had lit the fire inside of me, and now the flames were threatening to swallow us both.

Tom’s P.O.V.

She was just too cute, so out of breath and trembling with desire with the little I’d done to tease her. It just made me want to ruin her even more. My little neighbor, so perfect and sweet, so needy for me.

She didn’t even realize she had started to grind herself against me, in search of some sort of release. Well, I wasn’t about to cut her off. Unstead, I took advantage of my grip on her, pulling her body until I was the one keeping her up, trapped between my body and the counter.

“Rub your tiny wet cut against my jeans, love,” I ordered in a demanding whisper right on her ear, making her shiver. She obeyed without any sort of hesitation, looking up at me underneath her eyelashes with her eyes glazed over with lust. “That’s it…” Fuck if the pressure wasn’t exactly what I needed to help ease up some of the tension from the need I was feeling in my veins. “Rub yourself against my hard cock, don’t be shy.”

My words seemed to be gasoline for her, giving her the push she needed to grind herself even harder against my bulge. I decided to help her, pushing her more firmly against the counter and following the movements, rejoicing in the pleasure gasp that escaped her lips as the added pressure provided more friction to her clit.

“Fuck…” She whispered, and I think that in the entirety of the four months of conversations I’d entertained with her, that was the first time I’d heard her cuss. The four letter word I was so familiarized with had a new, unexpected effect on me, making the situation inside my pants so difficult I had to stop my movements and slow hers down by her hips, so I wouldn’t just jizz on my pants like a fucking teenager. 

But Y/N didn’t stop, despite accepting my silent request to decrease the fervor of our activities. When I finally managed to get control over myself again, I realized why. She had gripped the counter behind her and was using it to better control her movements, and it was clear by the way her head hung back and her mouth fell open that she was about to cum just like that.

“Shit,” I cussed just as the realization hit, and it felt like all of the control I’d managed to build in the last few seconds I closed my eyes had suddenly escaped through the window. My cock was painfully hard again, and all I could think of was that I needed to get out of these fucking jeans.

Who could blame me, though? When she looked like that, creaming her panties with her clothes still on? Shit, I couldn’t wait to get her naked and underneath me. I needed to feel her from the inside, explore her wetness with my hard cock.

But first, I was desperate to get a taste of her. So as soon as her breathing came back to a somewhat regular pattern, I was careful to put her on the ground again, making sure she was able to stand on her own legs, before dropping to my knees in front of her.

“What are you… Oh.” I couldn’t help but to chuckle at the innocence of her mind that stopped her from immediately understanding what I intended to do, but then I was pushing her skirt up and away from my view and her panties were in front of me and they were drenched, absolutely ruined by the sticky liquid that made my mouth water. 

“Fuck, princess…” I moaned as I carefully peeled the cotton fabric down her legs, keeping it pooled around her ankles as I pushed her legs open as far as they could go. She was dripping, a single line of her wetness connecting both of her thighs, making me groan at the sight. “You might just kill me…” I commented before reaching up to pull her to me, effectively burying my face on her.

“T-Tom!” The sound of my name escaping her lips with that reverent tone left me even hungrier for her, as did her exquisite taste. It painted my tongue with its sweetness, embedding itself in my cells, making sure I’d never be able to forget it. I already knew I’d be hungry for her again the second I pulled away from her cunt.

Nonetheless, I forced myself to stop for a moment to gather my senses, as her taste made it harder and harder to control my need to relieve my aching member. I needed to be inside of her, and quickly. 

Abruptly rising up to my full height, I picked her up by the back of her thighs so she’d wrap her legs around me and took us to where I’d assumed her bedroom would be, considering I was familiarized with the general layout of the apartments. The second I laid her on the bed, my hands were struggling with my own belt, as I watched her pull her dress over her head, now completely bare before me.

“You’re so fucking hot.” When my pants dropped to the floor and my cock slapped my lower stomach, I pounced on her immediately, crawling on the space between her legs and pulled her by the back of her neck to connect our lips once more. “Do you want to be railed tonight, pretty neighbor?”

She fucking whimpered in response, repetitions of “yes” and “please” escaping her lips as she tried to pull me closer to her by the legs she embraced me with. Not having it in me to stop this moment any longer, I gripped my member with one of my hands while I held her hips down with the other, briefly rubbing the blunt head of my cock over her sensitive clit before pushing myself completely inside of her.

“Oh, fuck,” I groaned, blindsided by the tightness, wetness and warmness that now surrounded me. “I knew your cunt would be fucking delicious.” I watched her as I pulled out until just my tip was inside of her, only to push it back in as forcefully as I could.

Her eyes rolled to the back of her head, her hands flew up to hold my shoulders, almost as if she wanted to push me away or tell me to take it easy, but as her legs continued to pull me even deeper inside, I knew what she really needed was to be properly fucked.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

Tom was not exaggerating; he really did pound me against my mattress, immediately setting up the most brutal of paces. It hurt, especially with how much he was stretching me, but it felt too fucking good to complain about it.

The only thing I could do was to relax and accept this invasion, this possession of my body by my next-door neighbor. I knew I must have been quite a vision, my arms thrown up in search of something to hold on to, spit escaping the corner of my lips by the intensity of the thrusts, my breasts shaking as he pulled me back to meet his thrusts by my hips. I hoped I’d have some bruises on the shape of his fingertips to remember this night.

Not like I would ever be able to forget, anyway. Only a lunatic would expel the visions of Tom looking like this while fucking them, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration, the sweat gathering over his eyebrows. I wanted to kiss it away. I wanted to taste its saltiness. 

Just as my head began to twirl in time with the growth of arousal in my lower belly, Tom’s eyes travelled upwards from the point where his cock was buried inside of me to find my breasts, one of his hands immediately following suit. When his pull on my nipple was accompanied by the feeling of his warm mouth engulfing the other one, I screamed as I came all around him, my head thrown back and eyes closed as I relished in the feeling of being so perfectly filled, so perfectly touched.

“Fuckin’ tight.” Tom fucked me through my orgasm, but at the sight of my eyes blinking back open, he pulled out, easily manhandling me into turning around and rising on all fours. “This fucking ass… Do you have any idea how long I dreamt about fucking you like this?”

I didn’t know how, but his words and the way his huge hands sprawled over the cheeks of my butt reignited the flames that had just been fed, and I found myself pushing back against him, offering myself up to him. Anything to get his cock inside of me again.

“Please…” I all but begged, and I heard his breath hitching behind me. “Just… please keep fucking me.” Perhaps that was all that he needed, because in a second his cock was tearing me open again, so fucking deep that I could feel it in my stomach. 

“Fuck… If I had known how it would look to have my little perfect neighbor begging for my cock, I would have fucked you ages ago.” Every single thing that came out of that man’s mouth was like sin. He wrapped my hair around his fist, suddenly using it to pull me back to him as he raised one of his legs to the mattress, the new angle making each of his thrusts hit that spot inside of me that made everything just a little more satisfying. 

I could feel tears running down my cheeks, falling on my spread out hands as I struggled to keep breathing through his assault on my senses. “Are you gonna cum again, love?” I could hear him asking, and I wanted to answer, I really did, but every time I opened my mouth, only sobs came out. “Are you? Here, let me help you out.”

The feeling of his rough fingers softly caressing my clit was such a stark contrast to the way he was still brutally pounding into me that instead of trying to push him away from my much too sensitive lower region, I opened my eyes in surprise as another orgasm took over me, somehow even stronger than the previous ones.

“Yeah, that’s it… Fuck. Come for me, sweetheart. Wanna feel your cunt milking my fucking cock.” His words did nothing to help ease my arousal, and just when my arms started to give out, I felt him spilling inside of me. “FUCK!” He shouted, following my body’s motions until he was covering me with his own torso, still very much inside of me.

His thrusts finally coming to a stop after he had slowly fucked his cum inside of me, I felt his thumbs caressing my hips as I remained face planted on my mattress. “Well, this isn’t how I expected this night to go, but I can’t say I’m not satisfied.”

A snort was all I could give him as he finally pulled out and allowed his body to fall by my side, giving me a quick kiss on the shoulder that was closer to him. “You ok?” He asked, and I snorted again.

“More than okay. You still haven’t eaten though.” It was the truth. After all of this… incredible distraction from my cooking plans, he still hadn’t gotten around to eat dinner. I heard him take a deep breath next to me as he pondered his answer. 

“Really? ‘Cause I remember eating some very delicious pussy a few minutes ago.” It took me a few minutes to process what he had said, but when I did, I turned around to playfully hit his chest while feeling my face warm up from the reality of what we had just done.

“You’re impossible.”

“And you’re hot.” And when he put it in such simple terms, as he pulled me in his arms so that I could cuddle his chest, how could I feel embarrassed?

[latte-fairytaekwoon]

❥ 𝓗𝓲𝓹𝓹𝓸𝓶𝓮𝓷𝓮𝓼 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓐𝓽𝓪𝓵𝓪𝓷𝓽𝓪

𝑃𝑎𝑖𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔: 𝐻𝑖𝑝𝑝𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑒𝑠! 𝐽𝑒𝑜𝑛𝑔 𝑌𝑢𝑛ℎ𝑜 × 𝐴𝑡𝑎𝑙𝑎𝑛𝑡𝑎! 𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑟 (𝐹𝑒𝑚𝑎𝑙𝑒)

𝑮𝒆𝒏𝒓𝒆: 𝑭𝒍𝒖𝒇𝒇, 𝑨𝒏𝒈𝒔𝒕, 𝑭𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒔𝒚/𝑮𝒓𝒆𝒆𝒌 𝑴𝒚𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒍𝒐𝒈𝒚 𝑨𝑼

𝑾𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝑪𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕: 11.2𝑲

𝑾𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔: 𝑴𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝒅𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒉, 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒔𝒂𝒄𝒓𝒊𝒇𝒊𝒄𝒆𝒔 𝒕𝒐 𝒅𝒆𝒊𝒕𝒊𝒆𝒔, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒓𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒈𝒊𝒐𝒏.

“𝑆𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒𝑠 𝐼 𝑤𝑜𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑟 𝑖𝑓 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑖𝑠 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑡ℎ 𝑓𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑓𝑜𝑟….

𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝐼 𝑙𝑜𝑜𝑘 𝑎𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢, 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝐼'𝑚 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑦 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑤𝑎𝑟.”- 𝑈𝑛𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤𝑛

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The young woman panted softly, her soft [insert color] locks flowing behind her head, as free and wild as she was. Although her body was already aching and desperately crying out for her to stop, she pushed on even further. Her legs continued running, she felt an intense burn rip through them but she didn't care at all. Her gaze was fixed on the orchid tree just a few meters in front of her, the object she used as her finishing line. With a loud grunt she pressed herself forward, nearly loosing her footing but eventually touching the trunk of it. Raspy breaths came out of her mouth, she inhaled and exhaled deeply, nonetheless a satisfied smile was spread across her countenance, proud that she didn't give up this time, that she was able to break past her limit and endure much more.

Dusting the dirt off her tunic, she picked up her container of water, quickly taking a long gulp from it before starting her journey back home. The sun was already starting to set and would probably have completely gone down by the time she got back, but she didn't mind. She felt satisfaction knowing she did something useful and that would maybe benefit her in the future. Standing in front of the tall gated doors, the guards posted at each end took one look at her before bowing their heads to her in respect. The doors were immediately opened and she stepped inside into a grandiose hall of the palace. Red and gold silk drapes were hung on each of the windows that allowed one to look out into the courtyard which was most commonly used by the royal women to walk about and chatter while their husbands were inside discussing political affairs or training out in the sparring hall. She could probably guess that her father was probably in his study room, pouring over documents, studying them intently and making sure they were all correct.

As she was making her way towards her room, she heard the sound of tiny giggling and high pitched voices rounding the corner she was just about to take. One of the girls stumbled into her as she was not paying attention to what was ahead of her, instead busy chatting with her friend next to her. But she wasn't surprised, after all, she knew her cousin Ariadne better than anyone else, never watching where she was going.

"Oh! Y/N. Didn't see you there." She gave her usual apology she did to almost anyone she crossed paths with that resulted in disaster.

Her friend next to her properly bowed to Y/N. Just cause she was privileged enough to be friends with the princess' cousin and member of the royal family, it did not mean they were equal in any way or form.

"You really should look ahead of you sometimes."

Y/N walked past both of them to go to her bed chamber, not missing at all the strange glances both girls gave her nor was blind to the way they peered at her athlete tunic as if they were horrified at what they saw. Y/N was used to it by now, she had accepted a long time ago that she was vastly different from all the girls her age in Greece.

For starters, not only was she the princess but she was the only heir her father had. Although her father was disappointed at never acquiring a male heir, especially after the death of his beloved wife, he decided to make the best of his situation, in this case, it meant preparing his daughter and having her properly educated in governmental affairs and politics, even against the advice of all his council men.

"My daughter will be able to do anything a male can do and better!" He always stated, and he was always proud to show his prized possession off.

He especially loved to boast about one thing in particular: her athleticism. Ever since she was young, she had already demonstrated an incredible strength and agility that immediately put her to be trained alongside other boys her age or older in the academy for future athletes. Her specialty was running, and she truly did love it. The rush flowing through her body, the pumping of her heartbeat, it was all worth it. She never cared that court officials would look at her weird or the ladies of the palace, including her own relatives, would often scoff or sneer at her rather 'unfeminine' appearance. That didn't matter to her at all.

"I am Y/N, I am me, and I'm happy of who I am."

She repeated what she often said in front of her mirror every night like a ritual before going to bed, her limbs exhausted after the long hours of training she put herself through. She did not actually have to train, it's not like she could actually compete in any Olympics or games the country held every year. But she kept pushing forward, knowing one day she'd have a reason to be running, she did not know what it was, but she could feel it.

Something big was going to come.

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"Too slow shortie."

Y/N grunted when her arch rival swiftly passed her on the track, a smug smile tugged on the corners of his lips. Wanting a take the smirk off, she pushed herself forward, wanting to catch up to him. She was a mere arm span away from him, which actually surprised him. She thrusted herself forward, but her ankle accidentally bent sideways, causing her to lose her balance and fall onto the floor. The golden haired man in front of her couldn't help himself as he stopped running and actually doubled over in laughter.

"Stop it Leon." She glared at him before inspecting her ankle to make sure there wasn't any serious damage to it.

"Or what? Will you ask your father to behead me?" He continued his teasing.

Not wanting to hear his annoying voice anymore, she quickly stood up and decided to just go find somewhere else to run instead of the track field. As she was leaving, Leon called out to her.

"Just give up Y/N! I'm the best runner in all of Greece! You'll never be able to beat me."

Y/N halted her steps, whipping her head towards him. He snickered at her attempt to intimidate him.

"What? Do you really believe you can beat me at least once?"

Y/N walked back over to him, looking up at him straight in the face.

"I don't believe. I will beat you one day and will make you regret all your words." She flashed him an icy smile.

"The day you beat me in a race is the day I'll die. I'll never allow myself to lose to a girl. " He firmly said.

Y/N lifted her hand up, unable to resist the urge to swing at him just once, but unfortunately a voice called out to her before she could even make contact with Leon.

"Y/N. You're needed back at the palace." The voice of her mentor and trainer, Milos, was sent to fetch her.

"Better run along now princess. It's time for your embroidery lessons." Leon winked at her before resuming his morning run.

Y/N angrily made her way to her mentor, who as usual had a small smile on his face.

"Morning to you my lady." He greeted her, extending a towel out to her

"Oh shut up. You distracted me from giving him a proper beating." She huffed as she yanked the towel away from him and draped it across her shoulders.

Milos let out a soft chuckle as he accompanied her back into the palace, leading her straight into her father's study room. Her father immediately stood up when he saw her.

"My beautiful daughter." He embraced her tightly, placing a kiss on her forehead.

Looking at her disheveled hair, glowing skin and red cheeks, he could guess where she had been.

"Did you have a good run today?" He was always curious about her progress.

Y/N immediately nodded.

"Good. Good."

Her father looked back at Milos before gesturing for him to allow them privacy. Once they were alone, her father suddenly got a grim look on his face.

"Y/N .....there has been much tension in these past council meetings."

Y/N guessed there was probably trouble. For the past month, her father refused to let any word slip out from his lips to her, which was unusual since he'd tell her all about them and sometimes even allowed her to join in on some of them so she could gain experience. Was she finally going to know what was going on?

Her father took her hands in his own.

"We have to talk about the future of the kingdom..."

Y/N felt a slight pang of fear as he said that. She always thought that the day they had the conversations she'd be thrilled, but deep down she knew there was something else going on.

"I tried, for years I've tried so hard to convince them to accept you as my heir, to allow you to rule our kingdom, put their faith in you as I have in you.."

Her heart was warmed everytime her father reassured his pride and confidence in trusting an entire kingdom to her.

"But they're not as open to the idea as I am. .... I fear it could turn into a civil war."

They both stood silent and grim. A civil war would be extremely devastating for the country, not to mention that it could last for years, innocent people would be slaughtered and the country could be divided by the end of it. Y/N understood the severity of it.

"So what am I to do?"

Although Y/N was ready to accept whatever her father asked of her, she was not prepared for what he said next.

"Y/N it's time for you to get married."

Her heart dropped at his words. Her hand went behind her body, steadying on the table behind her so she wouldn't fall. She took a deep breath just as she learned to do to calm her panic before a race. Only this time it didn't seem to work.

"Y/N, I promise it won't be that bad."

But that wasn't very reassuring. Y/N knew what it would implicate. She'd have to be behing someone for the rest of her life, be forced to live an idle life where she'd just sit there, look pretty and bear as many children as she could.....

She'd have to give up running.

"No! I can't do that!" She shook her head, unwilling to follow through what was expected of her.

Of course her father expected this reaction from her.

"Y/N please try to understand my position. It must be this way. There is no alternative."

Not wanting to listen to his words anymore, Y/N rushed out of the room, heading straight over to her room. Locking the door behind her, she flopped onto her bed, burying her face into one of her pillows so it could muffle the screams she was releasing.

She just couldn't allow this to happen.

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"You're acting as if you're being sold off into slavery." Milos told her during her philosophy lesson.

Y/N looked up from her book, scowling at the middle aged man in front of her.

"You wouldn't understand cause you're a man."

He frowned slightly at her words but ultimately decided not to take it personal. He understood that this was a rather difficult position for her, something she never really wanted.

"Do you wish to suspend our lesson for today then?" He offered.

"And do what?" She groaned as her fingers massaged the sides of her head.

Not missing an opportunity to poke fun at his pupil, he taunted her.

"I could teach you how to crochet a nice tablecloth."

Y/N picked up her book and held it over her head, making a gesture as if she was going to throw it at him.

"I see you've already forgotten the proper way technique for shot put."

She quickly put the book down.

"It doesn't matter. None of it will matter after all. I'm destined to become a royal baby maker while my future husband rules over the empire my father and his ancestors worked so hard to build." Y/N couldn't help but lament over her situation.

"Cheer up child. There's got to be some good thing in this whole business. And if there isn't, well then....make something good out of it."

She shook her head.

"Not even all the marriage proposals that have come from other royal families seem to appease the advisors or council men. What? Do they not want to sort through papers and decide which candidate is the best option?"

"The problem with so many proposals is that it could cause dissension within the nation. You see, they can't pick one person or the other without offending all the ones that were turned down, which would cause us to loose allies and gain enemies. So of course it'll be a matter of great worry to them." Milos explained as he began rolling up the scrolls on the table.

Y/N's head started to pound against her skull as she thought about all the inconveniences her getting married would bring.

"Then why not just let me remain single? Besides, unlike all the other girls in the kingdom, I was never taught to embroider, sew, dance, play an instrument and much less style myself in the elegant and feminine fashions. It's not like I have anything to offer all these men except my throne, which should rightly belong to only me..."

Although she whispered that last part, Milos heard her very clearly. He too found it unfair that Y/N had to be stripped away from her rightful claim on the throne only due to the fact that she was born with an unfortunate yet lovely pair of breasts. He wished to find a way to comfort her. Having seen her grow up, he had become rather fond of her and almost thought of her as his own child, after all, he was the one mostly responsible for her upbringing and education. It pained him so to watch her grief and felt in utter despair that there was nothing he could do to change the destiny she was expected to lead.

Until an idea popped in his head.

"Y/N. What if you propose to marry on your own terms?"

Lifting her gaze up, she raised an eyebrow.

"Do tell me what'd those terms would be, because honestly, anything I suggest would fall on deaf ears."

Taking small steps until he stood right next to her chair, Milos placed a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"What about suggesting a race?"

Seeing the mischievous twinkle in his eye, now her curiosity was peaked.

"Think about it Y/N: you have all these marriage proposals lined up and they must decide on only one. Why not give yourself to the man that can outrun you? It would not only appeal to the public for entertainment, and would be a fair way to settle on a match, but it would buy you time as well. After all, how many men in all of Greece could actually outrun our dear Atalanta?"

She felt a surge of encouragement and hope after he not only found a momentary solution, but she enjoyed being called by her athlete name that he had given her long ago. Unable to contain her joy, she sprung up from her chair and embraced the man in front of her.

"Thank you Milos! Thank you thank you thank you." She squealed.

"All right all right child! No need to strangle me for it. Why don't you run along and tell your father? I'm sure he'd be pleased with the idea just as much as you."

Heeding his advice, Y/N swiftly exited the room, a stack of papers falling behind her and onto the floor from how fast she sped past them. Milos could only chuckle as he bent down to pick them up.

"A truly extraordinary girl."

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The crowd were already all in an uproar of enthusiasm at King Iasus' words that echoed throughout the entire stadium.

"My fellow and loyal people. As you all know, my daughter, the precious gem in all of Arcadia, is finally of age and must of course, like all women in our beloved country, be married to an excellent suitor that must be worthy of her."

Resisting the urge to slump back in the chair, Y/N straightened her posture and kept her hands folded on her lap as she tried to calm her nerves. It wasn't the first time she had accompanied her father to admonish the people, but it was the first time she felt uncomfortable with her attire. All her life she had either stuck to the short athletes tunics she owned, or if her father absolutely insisted on her wearing something below her knees, she'd just wear a loose and plain beige or brown tunic. Now she was wearing an emerald green dress with golden lining on the hems, a similar colored sash was draped across her chest that was pinned to the butterfly style sleeves with large gold pins that had jade crystals adorned on the edges. Her female attendants had spent the majority of the morning crimping her hair into loose curls that were then styled in an elegant half updo, secured with a flower shaped pins that were sticking into her head in the most uncomfortable way. She felt so out of place and in her head she could already imagine all the people that were mocking or laughing at her appearance. She hardly focused on the words her father was saying until he reached the part that really interested her.

"After much discussion, we have concluded that the best way to decided is by means of a race."

A collective gasp resonated through the Colosseum, many heads turning to the one next to them, no doubt asking if they heard correctly.

"Yes it is true. Princess Atalanta, and my kingdom, will be given to the man that can outrun her in a race. Not only is this a perfect way to be fair, but it would provide much enthusiasm and joy for my dear subjects."

An applause that started small soon turned into a thunderous roar of hands clapping in approval for their king's speech. Y/N was beaming, she couldn't contain the smile on her face. It seemed as though everything was playing out perfectly for her. Once it was seen that no man could outrun her, they'd have no choice but to name her their rightful heir.

"And........" Her father paused for a dramatic effect.

"I'm happy to let you know that the first race will actually be held in one month's time."

Y/N furrowed her eyebrows at that. So soon? No one had told her about that part. The crowd was already hooked, waiting to hear more details on the matter.

"Our first competitor has actually presented himself already and it is none other than our prized champion, Leon of Mantinea!"

The applause and cheers of the crowd suddenly went silent in Y/N's ears. All she could hear now was her labored breathing and the thumping of her heart. She felt it difficult to breathe, as if she had suddenly sprinted out running without properly preparing and her body was now desperately begging for air. Her head began spinning, her vision becoming blurry as she could no longer distinguish any but one face in the entire crowd...

Leon, who was actually looking straight at her with a triumphant smirk that nearly had her doubling over, threatening to make her vomit her breakfast that she had a couple hours ago. For the first time in her life, she felt a tremendous fear that she had not felt anytime else.

As soon as the ceremony was over, she was dashing out of the stadium, nearly tripping on the long train of her damned dress. It clung so tightly on her waist and hips that no matter how hard she tried, it can nearly impossible to run in it.

"Don't you look lovely for once."

She recognized that tone of mockery before even turning to see the face it belonged to. She just tried so keep walking, not wanting to have Leon stare down at her when she was in such an agitated state, unfortunately for her, within seconds he was already in front of her, blocking her path of escape.

"Move aside Leon." She ordered in a harsh tone, but it did nothing to deter him.

"Are you asking me as the princess or as a runner?" He sneered at her.

"I'm not in the mood to hear any bullshit that'll come out of your mouth."

She tried pushing past him, but he grabbed her arm, forcing her to stay put as he looked deep in her eyes.

"Get used to the idea that you'll be hearing my sweet voice every day after our race. When you wake up next to me and when you lie down next to me..."

He couldn't help himself as his eyes raked her body up and down, making Y/N cringe at the filthy thoughts that were swirling inside his evil little mind.

"You can't outrun your destiny Atalanta, and you most certainly can't outrun me. So in the end, you're going to become my bride...."

She let out a soft grunt when he pulled her closer against him, their chests practically touching as his breath hovered above her lips.

"And I'm going to become the next king."

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"You're pushing yourself too hard Atalanta, slow down."

Milos words fell on dear ears as Y/N only picked up her speed, pushing forward until she was a few meters away from the finish line, but her legs went limp from exhaustion at having ran nonstop for the past 2 hours. Y/N squatted down, hands clutching her chest as she tried to regain her breathing. Milos shook his head at her state. Walking up to her with a jug of water, he gently poured some of the cold water onto her back and head.

Can't...slow down....must...win-" Y/N coughed slightly, unable to form any more words.

"You're pushing yourself too much and with all this stress you're enduring, it'll only serve to weigh you down even further at the actual race."

Helping to her to her feet, he extended the jug out to her so that she won't get dehydrated from lack of water. Hastily, Y/N gulped the water down, some of it trickling down her chin and neck. Against her will, she allowed Milos to guide her to a nearby stone bench for her to sit on. She looked at the ground, not wanting to say anything. Milos was the first one to speak up.

"Forgive me for asking this, but have you ever actually beaten Leon in a match?"

Y/N thought long and hard before answering.

"Once...almost."

He shook his head.

"Almost will make you a bride. That's the reality you must accept."

"I don't want to talk about reality or accepting it. I just need to practice harder. I only have a month to train."

She got up, ready to start running her laps again, but Milos stopped her.

"Y/N....the month for training wasn't for Leon...it was for you and it wasn't so you could run..."

When he paused longer than she liked, she gestured for him to speak up.

"It's to train you to become a wife. Learn to behave as a women and learn all the proper things a lady must learn."

No sooner he finished his sentence, she turned, already sauntering off into the field, quickly gaining momentum as she began running away, back to the flower fields she so often visited and ran off to.

"Y/N! Be reasonable! You cannot run from this forever!"

But that was exactly what she was planning to do, even if it costed her everything.

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On the morning of the race, she was astonished by the amount of people that had come to watch. People pushed against the barriers intended to keep them off the track, wanting to get a better look at the runners. Milos shook his head at how ferocious the people could get.

"All they ever care about is a good spectacle..no matter how tragic it can end."

Y/N turned her face at his words.

"Thank you for reminding me that you have no faith in me."

Milos was about to speak up and say that he didn't mean it for her, but remembering that he was forbidden from telling her anything, he just kept quiet and silently prayed it would all be over soon. When Leon finally showed up, everyone began cheering, already convinced that he would end up winning and becoming their new king. None of them noticed that he had lost a bit of muscle, his face looked somewhat thinner than usual and it seemed he and his friends had done an early celebration the night before which could explain why he wobbled at times.

Y/N most definitely didn't notice, her nerves shooting up and down as she tried to mentally brace herself for the race that would ultimately decide her future. Thankfully, her trusted mentor escorted her to the starting line, patting her shoulders occasionally.

"Remember all that I've taught you. Stand up straight and don't look scared. Don't let them see your fear. Walk with dignity, even if you're trembling on the inside."

After muttering a small hymn, Milos finally retreated back to watch and monitor the race. Leon took his place next to her, wearing that daily smirk he always had. As she crouched at the start, Y/N closed her eyes and did the first thing she was taught: drown out all distractions, and only look ahead of you. Her nostrils were filled with the scent of the sun baked dust underneath her feet. She waited for the horn to signal the start. Once it blared all over, she immediately opened her eyes and sprinted forward. Her start was rather well, but her opponents was even better as he sprinted with full speed ahead of her. Y/N was tempted to increase her speed, but then Milos words came into her head:

"Don't waste all your energy at the start. Save it for the end. Let your opponent tire themselves out first, then you can use that reserved energy to quickly bypass them and defeat them."

Y/N decided to follow through on that, essentially since they had to run 3 laps around the track. She watched as Leon quickly made it to the turning post, his eyes mocking her when he went past her. Y/N had an advantage at the post, due to the fact she was lighter, she could easily reverse in direction and pick up seconds into her time. Soon enough, the gap between them both narrowed, and the crowd was now adamantly watching to see what the outcome would be. Noticing that her rival seemed to be slowing down after starting the second lap, Y/N viewed it as an opportunity and began to slowly increase her speed, holding back the urge to go at her full potential. Almost by the end of the second lap, she was already running next to Leon, who upon seeing her, had a panicked look on his face. When they both rounded the final post, Y/N swiftly got ahead of him.

Now the crowd became extremely quiet, not knowing exactly how this race was going to end. Sensing that he needed to do something, Leon sped past Y/N, although his steps were somewhat wobbly. Y/N decided this was it, pushing past her comfort zone and tired state, she ran even faster, somehow not feeling any pain. Instead her body seemed to move by itself, adjusting and keeping its balance.

She passed Leon, and the crowd let out a gasp. He tried to push even further, but found he had no energy left. His breaths came in pained groans as he lost his footing and stumbled forward onto the track, unconsciously helping propell Y/N across the finish line.

As Y/N panted, she realized she had won. Although she wanted to smile, she could feel that something was off about her victory, especially given the fact that the crowd was not cheering and instead had looks of pain and anguish in their countenances. And even more puzzling was the fact that Milos didn't come to support her, as it was customary for the trainers to do for the winners. No one approached her. Instead two guards came over, but not to her, instead they helped Leon to his feet. His face looked disdained and his eyes now looked lifeless as he stared at the ground in shame.

Her father came forward in the royal box, a serious look on his face.

"What's going on?" She asked Milos when he finally came up to her, his arms placing themselves around her, not in a comforting or congratulating way, but instead, it felt as if he was trying to confine her, keep her from moving or running.

"You all who have gathered here know very well the conditions that were made for the race. It was a race to marriage..."

Milos tightened his grip on Y/N, serving to worry her even more.

"Or to death."

When she heard those words, she whipped her head to Milos.

"Wait! What does he mean-"

She had no time to ask as she witnessed in horror as one of the guards held Leon in place while the other drew his sword out.

"No! No!"

Y/N struggled to get free from her trainer's arms, but he held onto her that she had no opportunity to move.

She watched helplessly as Leon was slain right before her eyes, his blood pouring out into the sand. ...

❖ ── ✦ ── ❖ ────── ❖ ── ✦ ── ❖

Y/N stormed into her room, Milos trailing right behind her.

"Y/N-"

"Why didn't you tell me?!" She accused him.

He sighed.

"I was forbidden from letting you know about that. Your father knew you would have never raced had you known about the death penalty."

"Of course I wouldn't! I hated Leon but I never wished for him to die! Why would my father make up that condition?" Her arms flailed all over the air in frustration.

"Leon himself suggested it..."

Y/N couldn't believe his words.

"No...why would-"

"Think of his upbringing Y/N. He was the prized champion runner in all Arcadia. It was a matter of pride. How could he have lived with the fact he was beaten in a race by a girl? He would have much rather died than live with that shame."

Recalling what he once said to her, Y/N slumped into her chair, elbows resting on her knees as her hands supported her head.

"Leon....why would you do that...stupid stupid boy.."

Wanting to comfort her, but knowing she'd reject his touch, Milos decided to leave her alone.

"Just so you know, there's already 3 more competitors lined up to race against you. The conditions still apply to them."

"I won't do it. I refuse to race against them and send them to their deaths." Y/N adamantly refused, she would not be deterred from her resolution.

"You have no say in this matter anymore Y/N....

You're a woman and you do not dictate conditions." He said before shutting the door behind him.

Y/N felt the rage coursing through her veins. She hated being reminded that she had no power, that she'd forever be chained to obey as all men ordered her to. She was angry at everyone. Her father, Milos, Leon, the advisors, the people who watched a man get murdered just for entertainment, it was all sickening and most of all, she was angry at herself. Angry that she could do nothing about it, and even more furious at the suitors who still decided to run against her, knowing fully well there'd be no chance of outrunning her.

She stood up and walked over to her mirror. This time, she did not repeat her usual chant. Instead, she said a different thing.

"If I must keep running away from my destiny, so be it...."

❖ ── ✦ ── ❖ ────── ❖ ── ✦ ── ❖

In less than 2 months, Y/N had raced against 9 other competitors, all slain at the end of each race. She no longer shrinked back in fear, she had gotten so used to seeing them die before her eyes, she felt as if she was just like their lifeless bodies on the ground. The crowds seemed to enjoy it though. It had seemed to be now a killing fest rather than a race, and she was tired of it.

That's why she had now retreated into the top of one of the hills a few miles away from the palace. She sat by an apple tree, looking out at the sun that was starting to set. Hues of red, orange, yellow and pinks adorned the sky and at the very top, she could already see a few stars peeking out, ready to shine brightly once night set in. No sound was heard except the occasional chirping of a bird passing by or her deep sorrow filled sighs that would often escape her lips. She began to see no point in this. No one even called her by her birth name anymore, instead, everyone could only talk about the female runner Atalanta, even forgetting that she was the princess and these races were not for amusement or placing useless bets. It was to decide her future, which up to now seemed like it'd be filled with severed heads and split throats. Resting her head on her arms, she closed her eyes.

"It's too beautiful a day to be looking so sad don't you think?"

She jumped to her feet, startled by the voice that spoke behind her. Looking up, she felt astonished when she saw the most beautiful and tall man she had ever seen in her life. His skin was fair and perfectly unblemished, his hair was as dark as a raven's feathers, his eyes very large and dazzled as if they were a pair of rare and exotic gems, but the most captivating feature on him had to be his smile that seemed to radiate warmth and sunshine. He definitely wasn't from there or any other province nearby. He had a beauty that screamed he was from the northern countries.

"I'm sorry if I scared you. Forgive me, it was definitely not my intention." He bowed in an apologetic form, arm crossed over his stomach as he did so.

"I'm Yunho by the way, Yunho from Thessaly."

She debated whether to reveal her identity or not, especially to a stranger from the North.

"I'm Y/N." She opted for the safer choice, refusing to utter the name that would no doubt reveal who she really was.

Tilting his head to the side, he gave her a curious gaze.

"Y/N.....? Pretty name."

She blushed slightly at his words. Noticing the small pouch he was carrying, she pointed at it.

"Are you traveling here on foot?"

He seemed a little caught off guard but nonetheless didn't loose his enthusiasm.

"Kinda, not really. I left my horse back at the inn and decided to go explore these beautiful fields and mountains....."

He looked back at her, unable to suppress a smile.

"And the scenery definitely wasn't disappointing."

Y/N smoothed out the fabric of her tunic as she cleared her throat.

"Do tell me, what brings someone like you all the way to Arcadia?"

Yunho's friendly smile turned into a more mischievous one.

"Well I'm actually here on a little personal mission. You see, there's been a rumor that reached Thessaly saying how there's a young princess here who has offered herself and her kingdom in marriage to the man who can outrun her in a race. If he loses, he must be put to death. Supposedly her name is Atalanta."

Her heart stopped for a moment. She dreaded the topic and she was even more scared to think that this handsome man might actually ask to race against her.

"I came to find out if the rumor is true. Have you heard of her?"

Y/N nodded her head, which seemed to delight Yunho.

"Then is it all true?!"

"No! It's not true! She didn't offer herself and none of it was her idea. The first challenger was the one who proposed the idea of death be given to the loser.."

Yunho stayed very quiet as he heard her speak, studying her profile intently. Feeling somewhat embarrased that she spoke too much, she decided to fix it.

"I mean....everyone around here knows that."

Yunho nodded his head, but he still kept his gaze on the woman in front of him. His eyes looked her up and down in an unusual way, as if trying to figure something out.

"With such high stakes it really makes one wonder why the runners keep trying for her? If no one has even come close to beating her, why risk their lives for it?"

It was the exact question she had asked herself a million times yet could find no reasonable explanation. All she could do was look at the green grass underneath her, her foot swaying around occasionally. She failed to notice the fond and loving look Yunho was giving her.

"She must be very beautiful."

Her head jerked up at his words, a satisfied smile on his face.

"I see no other reason. She must be extremely beautiful if athletes from all over are risking their lives to just to have her hand in marriage."

"Or maybe they don't believe they'll lose to a girl... it's foolish really."

Yunho frowned slightly before nodding.

"I agree with you on that part. It's foolish indeed to risk their lives over a race or a woman."

Picking out a leaf from one of the branches above him, he studied it carefully before letting it fall to the ground.

"Life is too precious to be gambled away like that. The gods gave us the gift of life for a reason. It's truly ungrateful to repay their kindness in such a way."

Y/N felt a wave of relief when he said that. At least she wouldn't have to worry about racing him at all.

"Either way, I'd like to observe just one race while I'm here. I'm very curious to see just how fast she is..."

He paused as he scanned Y/N's face, which was now more illuminated by the ray of light peeking out from the mountain behind them.

"And to see what is it about her that make men so crazy."

Feeling a breeze pass by her, she remembered it was getting late and she had to be back in the palace before it got dark.

"I have to go home now. I hope you enjoy your stay here."

She quickly brushed past him and Yunho couldn't help but watch her as she left.

"Goodbye Y/N!" He waved at her, which she happily returned before walking away.

Y/N waited until she felt he was no longer watching her to finally let loose and run straight back to the palace, but he did notice. He also didn't fail to notice that not only was she wearing a rather short tunic that showed off her rather toned and muscly legs, but the tunic was made of the most fine linen there was available. Chuckling to himself he began his own walk down the hill.

"I think I know now..."

❖ ── ✦ ── ❖ ────── ❖ ── ✦ ── ❖

Walking into the library where she was scheduled for her morning studies, she was puzzled as to why Milos wasn't there but instead left a note telling her she was to go see her father in the track field. She suddenly felt uneasy.

'What if he decided to cancel the races?' 'What if he had to tell her some bad news?'

Her mind kept thinking about all the endless scenarios that could possibly happen, but the reality was something she definitely did not expect. She saw her father talking to someone, she couldn't quite make out who it was since the person had his back to her. When her father caught glimpse of her, his face shone brightly.

"Ahhh there is my treasured jewel! Atalanta, sweetheart. Come meet Prince Hippomenes. He's visiting us from Thessaly."

When he finally turned around, she was shocked to see none other than Yunho in front of her, still donning that cursed smile on his face. He didn't seem surprised at all when he saw her, his look was more on the amusing side.

"Pleasure to meet the most talked about princess in the land."

She had no time to react and frankly, did not know how to react when he suddenly took a hold of her hand and placed a kiss on the top of it, his eyes looking straight at her as he did, even sending a subtle wink to her that made her legs feel weak as if she had just run a 10 kilometer race.

"I was hoping to meet you. My father, mother, siblings and frankly, all Thessaly have been wanting to know about you, so I offered myself to come meet you."

Y/N still made no move to talk, frankly she was kind of upset at him. Noticing the tense air, her father knew he needed to suggest something quick.

"My dear, why not give our guest a tour of the track and tell him all about the races you've run? I have to go talk to the council about some commercial business that can't be held off much longer."

Kissing his daughter's cheek, he excused himself and left the two familiar strangers alone. She crossed her arms, now fully glaring at the male in front of her, who was confused at her cold treatment.

"What?" He asked .

"You lied to me!"

He held up a hand at her accusation.

"Actually, I did not lie. My birth name is indeed Yunho, but obviously my royal name is a different story. And I did come here to learn about the great fame you made for yourself."

Unable to help himself, he suddenly leaned in, his tall figure looming over hers as he smirked at her.

"And truthfully, do you have any room to talk? You concealed your identity just as I did."

She wanted to say something back but knew it was pointless since he was right.

"When did you find out?" She had to know.

"Last night. You're not very good at hiding things you know."

She frowned and was considering walking away, but Yunho seemed determined not to let her go just yet.

"So.....this is where your story unfolds.."

He looked around at the track, observing every square inch of it, his feet kicking softly at the dirt underneath him.

"Yeah....."

He noticed the sad look as she gazed at a specific corner in the field, her eyes seeming to be somewhere else instead of there. Yunho could only guess what she was thinking of. Not caring if it was improper, he placed his hands on the top of her shoulders, lightly rubbing the sides of them.

"You know....it's not your fault. You have your race to run.....and they had theirs."

He fought back the urge to wrap his arms around her waist and pull her against his chest. Y/N felt slightly comforted by his words, but nonetheless couldn't shake the guilt off.

"Maybe it would have been better if I was born a male. I often wish I had been born one."

Yunho shifted awkwardly behind her, but kept a small smile as he whispered in her ear.

"Then I guess I have much to be thankful for. I happen to like your present form very much."

He cleared his throat when she whipped around to face him, suddenly feeling embarrased for his bold words, while she, never been accustomed to men talking complimenting her or talking to her like that.

"Please excuse me.."

Just like the first time they met, she quickly left him standing there, confused and disappointed that their meeting was short.

"I'll see you at the race!"

Either she didn't hear him or purposefully ignored him, but Yunho didn't have it in him to give up.

"I'll be cheering for you, Y/N!"

Briefly, she halted her steps, her head tilting slightly before resuming to walk away once more.

❖ ── ✦ ── ❖ ────── ❖ ── ✦ ── ❖

The runners ran neck to neck. Y/N felt as if her lungs were being ripped out of her body. This guy proved more of a challenge than Leon ever did, even before the infamous race to death. They were only a few meters away from the finishing line. She felt herself growing weak, her pulse ringing in her ears, her brain thumping against her skull. She tried not to look at her opponent, knowing it'd only serve to distract her and make her loose focus.

Yunho sat next to the other nobles in the very front row, watching with excitement and anxiousness as it almost got to the end.

"Come on Y/N....you can do it."

Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed her opponent was suddenly going ahead of her by a few inches. Soon enough, his foot would cross the finish line first.

No!!!

Not knowing from where the last burst of energy came from, Y/N pushed her body forward, tumbling forward, but eventually passing through the finishing line first. She fell onto the floor, her elbow and knee scraping against the sandy dirt, but it was nothing compared to the pain she felt in her chest. She heard the crowd roar in applause and cheer for her once again, but she could not join in on the victory. She felt Milos help her to her feet, but once she stood up, her head began spinning, her legs wobbling as if she was a newborn calf learning to walk.

"Y/N? Are you ok?"

She heard her trainer ask, but she couldn't speak, her breathing raspy and hoarse.

"I'm-I'm-"

The crowd gasped and several women began screaming when their beloved runner fell once again to the ground, unconscious and not moving. Not knowing what came over him, Yunho jumped up from his seat and ran over to her, not caring about anyone else.

"Y/N? Y/N?"

He placed a hand across her face, feeling the temperature on her forehead before taking her wrist to check her pulse. Knowing he couldn't waste any time, he effortlessly picked her up and looked over at Milos.

"Have her room ready, bring a basin of cold water in it and make sure all the windows are open."

They wasted no time in heeding his directions. Carefully, he placed Y/N on her soft bed. Grabbing a towel, he soaked it in the icy water before placing it on her forehead. He checked her pulse every now and then, satisfied when it seemed to be returning to a normal pace and freaking out when it suddenly became too low.

"Come on Y/N...don't give up on me. You've fought this long in your life....don't stop now."

Yunho refused any help, not caring that he spent hours by her side, making sure her body stayed cool. He wiped the sweat off his own forehead, exhausted but not wanting to leave her side until he was sure she'd be all right. It was late into the night when his eyes began to close slowly, feeling drowsy after not eating and being agitated for so long. He didn't know exactly when he his head fell on her lap, sleep overtaking him, one hand clutching desperately onto hers.

That's how Y/N awoke to find him. She felt so bad seeing him bent over in such an uncomfortable position, his hair tussled out and his hand still holding onto hers. She felt her heart flutter at the sight. Reaching her hand out, she moved a few of the front part of his hair away, admiring his beautiful features. Feeling her stir, Yunho opened his eyes to find her looking at him, the sunlight making her features look ethereal and almost heavenly.

"Gods in Olympus have mercy on me..." He mumbled softly as he sat up, stretching his arms out and yawning softly.

"What happened?" Y/N asked.

"It seems you got struck by heat stroke which combined with over exerting yourself, you fainted for quiet some time."

Y/N fell back onto her pillow, her hands covering her face.

"How embarrassing! And the entire city saw!"

"Frightening is the word I'd use. They were all worried about you."

Standing up, he sat on the space of the bed next to her and removed her hands away from her face, his eyes boring deep in her soul.

"And frankly I was terrified about anything happening to you..."

Y/N widened her eyes when she saw his face come close to hers, his eyes fixated on her lips. She closed her eyes and turned her face to the side before he could come any closer. Sighing defeatedly, Yunho let go of her hands and pulled away.

"Please take care of yourself. I don't want anything to happen to you."

❖ ── ✦ ── ❖ ────── ❖ ── ✦ ── ❖

Y/N stormed out of her room, not caring about the the fact she still had to stay in bed, muting the worried voices of her female servants. She asked around until she finally found out where Yunho was and quickly walked as fast as she could to the main courtyard. It took her quite a while to find him, but eventually she saw his tall silhouette admiring some of the sunflowers that were growing in the palace gardens. Fuming, she walked over to him, her feet stomping so hard on the ground that he heard her coming before he saw her. He seemed delighted to see her.

"Afternoon Y/N! Lovely to see you-"

"You can't race against me!" She shouted at him.

He stepped back at her harsh tone, but didn't seem surprised at her reaction.

"So I take it they told you about that." An apologetic smile formed across his lips.

"You can't do this. Take it back!" She demanded, but Yunho wasn't going to budge.

"I can't and I won't Y/N. I have to do this."

"But why?! You yourself said the men who risked their lived for a race were foolish and stupid! So why are you now doing the exact same thing?!"

Yunho ran a hand through his hair, letting out a puff of air as he tried to collect his thoughts.

"You're right about that and I truly still believe they were foolish for risking their lives for a race or even a kingdom..."

He paused as he looked at her before finishing his last sentence.

"But then after meeting you, seeing you.....I understand why they'd be willing to risk their lives just to have you."

Y/N felt a lump get stuck in her throat. She was afraid. Afraid of the way he was looking at her with such admiration and devotion, afraid of actually having to race him, and most of all, afraid of her own growing feelings for him.

"You know you still have a chance. Get out of this while you still can. Once I step foot on that track, I don't have control over myself and I won't let you win." She admonished him.

He merely shrugged.

"Don't go easy on me. Use your full speed."

"Oh my god! Are you even listening to yourself?! You have absolutely no chance! All the men I've raced were trained athletes, the best in all the land! You- you're a prince! You grew up with books, studying philosophy and prepared to rule a country. You've never stepped foot on a track before coming here, you.....you'll die."

She spoke those last words softly, unable to say them above a whisper. Tears began brimming at her eyes, her arms wrapping around her chest in an effort to calm herself and not cry in front of Yunho. Still he said nothing, instead opting to come closer to her, not bothering to stop himself as his large hands wrapped themselves around her waist.

"It's a risk I'm willing to take. Don't you get it? I.... I can't get you out of my mind. I have to have you. You're unlike any other woman I've met. You're fearless, strong, independent, and you're a lot smarter than most princesses I've met, even if you are terrible at stitching a flower onto a cloth."

They both let out a tiny chuckle at that.

"Blame my father for prioritizing my education over pricking my fingers on silly needles."

Yunho moved his hands from her waist to cup her cheeks.

"Point is.....I'm attracted to you ok? I want you all to myself as crazy as it sounds...

He bit his lips before uttering the next thing.

"I love you.."

She looked up at him when he said that confession.

"And honestly? I think you feel the same way..."

Before she had time to respond or react, his lips enveloped themselves around hers, capturing and covering her entire mouth in such a passionate and desperate kiss. Against her will, Y/N kissed him back, hands going to the back of his head as the played with the soft black locks he had. She forgot about everything in that sweet moment, the races, the deaths, and almost forgot about a long forgotten fear.

Almost.

Until she suddenly pulled back away from him as if he was death itself.

"No! I can't!"

Seeing her try to run away as usual, Yunho wasn't having it. He grabbed her hand, refusing to let go.

M"Why are you running away from me?! Are you afraid of me? Are you afraid of being married off? Having to give up the freedom that has been granted upon you since you were born?"

Y/N didn't respond. He had hit on the point somewhat. Not all of it, but definitely a reason why she didn't want to marry and kept pushing herself so no one would ever beat her in a race.

"I want you to know....I would never be that kind of husband. I wouldn't force you to stay home, knit, and be bored to death walking in gardens or just bear me children."

Letting go of her hand, he pulled her against his chest, his arms wrapping around her waist as his lips began whispering in her ear.

"I would never dream of taking away your freedom. I'll allow you to keep running as free as you are now. Anything you want to do, I'll allow you to. I just ask you to love me in return. You don't have to be afraid of me."

She couldn't contain her sobs at this point. Lowering her head so he couldn't see her grief stricken face, she finally poured out her feelings.

"It's not just that..... when I was a mere girl, an Oracle once came to reveal prophecies to some members of my family. Being curious, I offered them a gold brooch I had in exchange for telling me something about my future..."

Her eyes closed as she remembered the words the old woman said to her.

"The day you marry, that day will be the end of you."

She sobbed even harder now. Yunho turned her around and embraced her, allowing her to cry in his chest, not caring if it soaked his clothes or not.

"Y/N....perhaps the prophecy meant the end of you in a different way. Perhaps it wouldn't be the end of Y/N.....but the end of Atalanta. Think about it, the day someone beats you, you have to marry him, Atalanta will be no more, instead you'll be Y/N. Just Y/N. Also...... one loses themselves when you truly love someone. The end of something, also creates a new beginning."

Although his words comforted her, she could no longer hear him. The longer she stayed, the more attached she grew to him and the more it'd hurt her to see him lose against her.

"I'm sorry....I can't-"

Yunho let go of her hands and didn't stop her as she ran back towards the palace. He didn't even call out to her and he hoped she wouldn't turn around and see the sad and heartbroken look he had on his countenance for the first time in his life.

❖ ── ✦ ── ❖ ────── ❖ ── ✦ ── ❖

Y/N walked out into the field wearing a heavy grim on her face, the cheers of the crowd no longer having an effect on her. She felt like she was walking out to her own execution. If Yunho died because of her, she could never live with herself.

"Cheer up child. Perhaps he won't have to die after all." Milos hinted at her.

"He's not an athlete. Even if I use half my speed, he'd still lose."

Milos nodded at her.

"That may be true.........and yet....perhaps he could win who knows? He was gone all night yesterday sacrificing to the gods."

"All the other athletes sacrificed to different gods. To Zeus, to Athena, to Apollo, and look how they all ended up." She retorted.

"Perhaps they were all sacrificing to the wrong one. I can tell you this: Yunho sacrificed to one goddess none of them thought about......"

Y/N looked at him and waited for him to finish.

"Aphrodite."

Her stomach lurched, threatening her to become sick again.

When Yunho finally stepped out, the crowd, more specifically the women, began cheering loudly for him. During his short stay there, he had already attracted a pretty good number of admirers and fans. Some had even made beautiful embroidered banners with his name stitched across it. When he stepped up to her, he had that usual smile of his that always melted her heart.

"Good luck to you Y/N." He took her hand, instead of shaking it though, he placed a kiss on it, causing several 'awws' to emit from the crowd.

Y/N retreated her hand and cleared her throat.

"No offense but your tunic is not very well suited for a race. It'll cause you to loose speed."

Pointing at the odd pouch strapped around his waist, she looked at him for an explanation.

"Good luck charms." He patted the pouch.

Y/N was about to say something, but he stopped her.

"Y/N this might be the last time I ever talk to you let alone see you in this lifetime...so please...don't worry and don't say unkind words.... and let me say just in case that I love you."

He waited for her to say something but she said nothing. They just followed the announcers instructions to get in position.

When the horn blasted, Y/N took off running at the usual speed speed she tended to use at the beginning of a race. Unsurprisingly, Yunho was a long way away from her, a large gap in between them. Y/N rounded the first turn and doubled back and saw him as she was coming back, irked that he seemed to be running as if he had all the time in the world. When she got close to him, he took out something from his pouch and held it in front of her eyes so she could see before tossing it behind her. Unable to comprehend her own actions, she whirled around to fetch the shiny object he had thrown. It had fallen on the dry grass at the edge of the track and picking it up, she noticed it was a golden apple, perfectly smooth, with a stem and leaves that had beautiful and intricate engravings on them. She was so immersed in the apple that she forgot about the race until she heard the crowd cheer. Looking over, Yunho had rounded the first turn and was now coming towards her. She felt disoriented for a second, but eventually got back on the track, running with the apple in her hand, although its weight served only to slow her down.

Just as she was rounding the second turn, she saw another golden apple being rolled in front of her, this time rolling off the track at a greater distance. Once again, she went in pursuit of it, forgetting about the race as she chased after it. This time it was slighty bigger and heavier than the last one, but she was determined to keep it. She stood there, admiring its beauty until the cheers of the crowd snapped her back to reality. She was shocked when she saw Yunho round the last turn.

"Oh no!"

With the apples in her hand, she sprinted forward with all her ability, catching up to him in mere seconds. She was right behind him about to pass him until he looked back at her, flashing a third and even larger golden apple in his hand. Raising it up, he let the sun shine on it before tossing it behind him with incredible force. Y/N backtracked and chased after it. She didn't know what it was that made her go for it, but she just had to have it. She struggled to cram them all into her hands, but she refused to let go of them. She gasped when she saw that Yunho was a few feet away from the finish line. She sped up, apples in hand, sure that even with the added weight and time lost she could beat him, no one was faster than her and no one had beaten her.

She was so close, a hands length away from him when the crowd erupted in thunderous applause and screaming. Y/N looked around in shock as Milos and many of the other nobles began surrounding Yunho, congratulating his victory.

"I.....lost?"

Y/N couldn't comprehend it. How on earth did she just lose? And to someone like Yunho? She was so immersed in her thoughts that she didn't notice he had come up behind her until he swiftly turned her around and kissed her in front of everyone. She was so stunned that she had no time to push him off. When he pulled back, he had the brightest and happiest grin plastered all over.

"My beautiful bride." He cooed at her.

She had so many questions for him but unfortunately she couldn't ask him as her father quickly made his way to them, happily announcing Yunho victorious and declaring that preparations for their wedding would begin immediately. The crowd began to celebrate, happy at the thought of the new royal couple forming and praising all the gods in Olympus.

❖ ── ✦ ── ❖ ────── ❖ ── ✦ ── ❖

It wasn't until later that night that Y/N finally had time to go see Yunho, who was wandering around in the orchards. She came to him, the golden apples on a small pouch.

"I believe these belong to you."

Y/N slumped them back in his hands, Yunho letting out a soft "oof!" at their weight.

"Actually...they're not mine."

"Either way.....you cheated." She accused him.

"It can't be counted as cheating if it complies with a God's wishes." He counteracted.

"What?" Y/N raised an eyebrow.

Smirking, Yunho picked up one of the golden apples.

"These....are golden apples from Aphrodite's golden tree that grows in her garden."

Y/N widened her eyes at his revelation, making Yunho snicker at her reaction.

"She gave them to me after I sacrificed to her last night. She gave me instructions on how to use them so I'd win the race. No one, not even the prized runner in all Arcadia, could resist their magic."

Her mouth dropped wide open at his explanation.

"You see? They were all sacrificing to the wrong deities." He poked her nose.

Y/N huffed and crossed her arms as she mumbled.

"I still say you cheated."

Yunho laughed slightly at her embittered state.

"Come now my darling Y/N. Don't be so cross with me. Can you really blame me for risking my life just to be able to spend the rest of my life next to you?"

He tilted her chin up, looking into her eyes that captivated and bewitched him more and more as he stared at them.

"Aren't you.....aren't you at least happy to marry me?"

Y/N sighed softly.

"The conditions of the race were clear."

Yunho's hand dropped to his side in clear disappointment of her answer.

"I don't want you to marry me because you have to. I want you to marry me because you love me like I love you. I offer you my heart, soul, all of me and vow to love you with my last breath for as long as we remain on this earth."

Y/N clasped a hand over her mouth when Yunho got on his knees and looked at her with such adoration and love.

"Forget the race and forget about the conditions. That doesn't matter anymore. If you don't want it, I'll happily release you from that condition......but at least allow me to try it my way."

Reaching for one of her hands, he grasped it tightly with both of his hands which were trembling slightly.

"I love you Y/N. I love you with every drop of blood that runs in my body. And nothing would make me happier than to have you accept my love and accept to my wife from this night forward."

He gulped as soon as he finished the words, waiting impatiently for her answer, tears building up inside him as he feared her rejection. Y/N was already crying, overwhelmed by her emotions and the intensity of the feelings she had for him. But then she thought about living the rest of her life without him and that was even more terrifying to her.

"Yunho......I love you..."

His gaze that was on the floor suddenly shot up when he finally heard her say those words. Through teary eyes, she smiled at him.

"And I would love for nothing more than to become your wife."

Before her sentence was finished, he was already on his feet, picking her up and spinning her around as his lips began peppering kisses all over her face. Tears of happiness streamed down his face as he thanked Aphrodite and all the other gods for blessing him in such a way.

"You see? It was worth it in the end. I don't regret risking my life......and I'd happily do it again if it means I win you..."

❖ ── ✦ ── ❖ ────── ❖ ── ✦ ── ❖

[ikykwklk]

— numb | b.c.

A/N: Hi guys! This is my first ever written imagine, so please bear with me if I have any mistakes ㅠㅠ I was actually having constant fight with myself because of this, but I finally did post it! Hope you guys like this and tell me if you guys want me to write more because it would really help me ㅠㅠ

Genre: fluff, angst, cheater!bang chan, idol!bang chan, idol!reader

Dancing has always been your option to escape this cruel world that we live in.

You've always danced your heart out everytime you perform.

And it has always been there whenever you can't express your feelings to others.

"Okay! We're done now!" Your choreographer yelled right after your newest title track ended.

Your group dropped onto the floor right after you got the okay signal from him. Pants and gasps of your members were the only sound that surrounds the dance practice room.

"You did great y/n, I'm relieved that you're a fast learner" your choreographer said as he patted your shoulder, you shot him a tired smile then mumbled a "thank you", "You guys are good to go right after cleaning up the dance practice room, the room is needed for later" your members immediately took their bags and started cleaning the room.

"Hey y/n! Are you coming with us? We'll head to the dorm right after cleaning" one of your members said, Chaeryoung to be exact, as she picked up the pieces of the group's snacks earlier. "Nah, you guys get going, I still have rap lessons later", Chaeryoung nodded and went straight to the door with the other members following behind her.

"Take care y/n, we don't want our newest member to not feel well before our comeback, alright?" Your leader, Yeji said as she sling her bag on her shoulder and head towards the door. "Will do, Unnie, you guys take care too!" They waved for the last time before shutting the door behind you.

You still can't believe that you had been added as 6th member of ITZY right after you auditioned from a year ago. You've worked hard to become an idol and now you're here, you know that you needed to work harder than you did. That's why you wanted to left behind, because you wanted to improve more.

You move towards the speaker to play your title track from it's beginning and ran towards the mirror, posing your position and danced all your heart out.

When the music ended, the door suddenly slammed open leaving a squeak from your lips and watched the door with your brows meeting together.

"Oh, Hey y/n! Didn't know you'd still be here!" You smiled at the people as they start to come inside the room one by one, making the room filled with voices again.

"Hey Jisung Oppa, sorry, I totally forgot that you were using the room after us".

"It's fine! You can still continue practicing, we just came here to eat our dinner, our practice has been cancelled" Jeongin said as he skipped towards the sofa then dropped his bag.

"Is that why Chan Oppa is not with you?" You walked towards them, Minho nodded at you then started to ramble about how the oldest is not taking care of himself again.

Chan was your secret lover, he helped you ever since you moved to Seoul year ago. You both got close and even letting you hide in his studio whenever you don't feel like going back to your dorms. It was that time where you got insecure because of how people see you as a person who doesn't have any emotions.

You aren't actually the kind of person who hides their emotions in front of other people, instead you let out all of your emotions a lot that they often found you as a prey. But as you realized their intentions, you started to become numb, putting walls around you as you meet the old and new faces you've seen in your life.

Only Chan, his members, also known as Stray Kids and your own members, ITZY are the only people who have seen your crazy side, and with you debuting on ITZY, means that the public needs to see your crazy side too, and that what made you overthink about you being an idol.

Chan was the one who came into your mind, and when you told him your worries, he accidentally confessed to you while he comforted you which made you stop crying, he got worried and apologized over and over until he felt your lips against his.

And after that, you never doubted yourself again.

"Can you check on him, y/n? Tell him that the food's on it's way"

"Sure thing, be right back" you walk towards the door then went inside the floor's elevator to your boyfriend's studio.

The boys knew your relationship with their leader, and they're very happy to welcome you in their circle of friends. Since they now have known the oldest weakness, which is you, they don't mind abusing it knowing that it's also for their leader's health.

You and Chan knew that when you enter in a relationship as an idol, it would mean that you two need to be more careful since you haven't even debuted yet and dating one of the well known leader in 4th generation of kpop history. So it means, less time being and seeing each other, but whenever you got the chance to go and visit him in the studio, you would. Even if you need to sacrifice hours of your sleep to  see him.

Because that's what made you both stronger and desired each other more.

Right?

As the elevator dinged, you step outside and walk towards the all known studio that your CEO gave your boyfriend to work on their music.

You opened the door knowing that he'll be wearing headphones, his back facing you with the sounds of keypads tapping filled the studio.

But instead you were welcomed with Chan's back facing you and a girl sitting on his lap, her moans and Chan's groans filled the studio along with their skin slapping.

The door you opened slammed on the wall, making your boyfriend and the girl stopped what they're doing, their closed eyes before are now wide open as they looked at you standing in the studio's door.

You ran outside the studio heading towards the elevator before your vision becomes blurry by the mixed emotions you're feeling at the moment. You hear Chan calling your name behind you but you have no plans on talking to him right now.

Good thing that a staff of the company stepped outside the elevator, you went inside and pushed the dance practice floor quickly. Chan chased after you but the elevator doors closed right in front of him.

As the door closed, you lean back against the elevator wall, stared at the door then tilted your head while looking at your blurred reflection in front of you.

You've been through this already, having your heart shattered by guys before Chan came into your life. He knew about those experiences you had which is why it is hard for you to pinpoint your emotions at him.

Are you mad at him because he knows you like the back of his hand?

Are you mad at him because of what you've seen in his studio?

Or are you mad at yourself because you trusted him with taking care of you heart?

You couldn't care less anymore now. He broke his promise that he will take care of you. It's not new to you anymore, but the pain that Chan had cause you to feel it again, and made your numb self worse than you are before.

So when the elevator dinged to know that you've arrived on the dance practice floor, you shook your head to clear your head with thoughts and went to the boys who are inside the room before.

As you opened the door, heads were turned and you immediately noticed that your members are with the boys. When Yeji saw you she ran towards you and gave you your in-ear monitors.

"Y/N! Manager oppa said that JYP needed to see your performance with us now since their practice are cancelled" Yeji pointed at the Stray Kids members who are sitting on the floor quietly eating their dinner.

"Y/n-ya, where's Chan hyung? Did you told him that the food's here?" Hyunjin asked you as Lia helped you with your in ear monitor and handing your mic.

Before you even got the chance to answer, the dance room's door opened again to reveal JYP, along with your choreographer and your boyfriend, who's head is hanging low while following the two older men inside the room.

Your members and Chan's stood up to greet the three as JYP told the Stray Kids to continue eating as your group start to prepare for your performance in front of him.

"I want to see the dance performance that you prepared, Y/n-ssi. Sorry for the sudden announcement of your evaluation, you needed to be verified that you're qualified to become the part of ITZY," JYP explained your situation while Ryujin went to the computer to prepare your music.

You saw Chan at the corner of your eye as you assured the CEO that it was okay and asked you about your performance in your lessons. You couldn't bring yourself to smile at the man who was talking to you, so you just nod and answered his questions before he asked you to move towards the mirror to look at your performance.

You walked towards in front of the mirror and looked at your friends who was cheering you silently, smiling at you as your eyes landed on Chan, which you shrugged and close your eyes to yourself focus on your performance.

This is what you've been waiting for, now those emotions that you can't express, you can finally show it to them. You should be nervous performing in front of the owner of the company, but you let your emotions take over you, letting everything go and make sure that Chan is listening.

Do you remember you remember (Said)

Remember what you said (Said)

You started talking to me

As if you would give anything to me

Don’t you remember you remember

Remember what you said (Said)

Then you changed

As if you took special pills

Cast blue, my blurred vision

Is this true? You won’t regret this?

My yesterday, my boo boo boo

Lonely life, I like it

I swallowed the water, I got cold

I want you to be ruined, I won’t hold you

You were my yesterday, my boo boo boo

Lonely life, good bye

You look at me with cold eyes

You see me and turn as if you didn’t know me

I just stand here vacantly

I see you who I didn’t know

I can’t help laughing

Now I don’t know you anymore

I’ll forget you woo woo woo

Go away, don’t even look back

I’ll erase you woo woo woo

Go away, don’t even look back

The mixed emotions that you've been bottling in from the events hours ago has suddenly came over to you. You suddenly felt like a new person, you feel like you were the only one watching yourself dance into the rhythm.

When the music stops, you hear applause from your right side, realizing that they've been watching all along. After you give your bow, JYP confirmed that you will be debuting as the 6th member of ITZY and will prepare immediate comeback for your group. You give your thank you's and bowed at your choreographer and the CEO, who is now exiting the room, leaving you with your members, Stray Kids and Chan.

Oh, right. Bang Chan was watching you.

You were pulled into a hug by your members, squealing and congratulating you for being able to debut and join alongside with them. Stray Kids joined in congratulating you for your hard work, but you weren't responding, you weren't happy, you finally became an idol, but why does it feel like nothing?

"Y/n, I'm so sorry please let me expla–"

You turn your back on him and went towards where your backpack is, you took off your in ear monitor and put it inside your bag before you sling it on your shoulder and looked at your friends.

"I'll be going now, enjoy your dinner", you said in a cold tone and walk towards the door.

"Y/n, please talk to me," Chan grabs your wrist tightly with his two hands, you heard his voice shaking, realizing his mistake.

"There's nothing to talk about."

"Yes, there is! Please! Don't leave me, I won't do it again!" You heard Chan starting to cry, your wrist now wet because of his tears falling.

"I only asked you a promise Chan", you said, your back facing him.

"I know, and I am sorry, I wasn't thinking straight, I should've never done it." He pulled you into him, hugging you from behind.

"But please, don't leave me, I can't live without you" he continued as he put his head at the crook of your neck. You hold his arms to let yourself go from him and turn around to look at him.

His black curly locks that you used to play with are messy, his eyes and nose are red because of crying, cheeks that are stained of with his tears, shaking lips as he continue to cry in front of you. Chan wasn't looking at you, he was hanging his head low but enough for you to see his state.

You would've forgive him. But the image of him and the girl earlier keeps flashing back into your head, giving yourself more reason to shut yourself from everyone else.

Now you can't feel anything, you're just there standing in front of him; blank face, your eyes that always holds stars are now just brown orbs filled with darkness and your lips pressed on a line that used to smile back then.

"Then good luck finding a way to live then, Bang Chan Sunbaenim," you bowed and walked away from him.

[kari-a-la-tari]

The (Unneccessary) Lore of the WG Spanish Dubs

Aka me being like this meme for an entire post

OKAY so a couple of weeks ago I had just learned that there existed a Spanish version of Wordgirl called “La Chica Supersabia” which is honestly super cool cause who doesn’t wanna hear their show in a different language?

But alas, this ended up taking me into a much deeper rabbit hole than I was expecting and it’s honestly pretty interesting so I thought I’d share it with y’all!

DISCLAIMER: I am not an expert by any means nor do I intend to come off as one, this is simply an elaborate essay of what I’ve found through my informal research. I will also be translating anything in Spanish to the best of my extent, so I apologize if I mess up a bit with the wording since it’s not my native language.

So then *places a baseball cap with glued lightbulb on my head* let’s get started shall we?

Okay so first things first, there are a couple of select episodes of La Chica Supersabia (I’ll use LCS from here on) available on the internet. The most reliable source that I’ve found is on an old Facebook account here where a fan would upload LCS episodes based on when they aired. However, the only episodes available are a select few from season one.

Now this got my mind thinking “Hey, what if there’s more episodes?” So naturally, I started scoundering on Google (like the rat I am) to see if there was indeed more. And according to this one site there are only two seasons of LCS that were dubbed.

Translation: In Latin America, the first season premiered on Discovery Kids August 3, 2009, while the second season premiered on the same channel January 11, 2010, being the only two seasons issued. (Source)

However, later on I discovered that there was some mislead in that info because someone else found a Spanish episode that was from season 3, which doesn’t make sense because why would there be another season available when it clearly says that they technically shouldn’t exist? (Btw I tried finding it myself cause I did see that episode before but for some reason now I can’t find it dhdvvdbdvd 😭)

At first I thought maybe this is just some info added from a fan. After all, that statement was posted on a Spanish Wikipedia page so it is possible. So I began looking for other articles that talked about the Spanish dubs, but they all said the same thing. Well, until I came up with this site that said two very intriguing things:

Translation: The series actually had 3 seasons and is dubbed in Caracas, Venezuela. On May 2012 the series stopped running on daytime hours and was removed from the programming one year later, on June 17, 2012. It is unknowns if it will be aired by another channel or come back to the Discovery Kids programming, besides only the two first seasons were dubbed in Spanish. (Source)

I was a little bit confused here with the wording because it still didn’t confirm my original questions; if anything it left me with more. But then I read the next section below which got me completely off track.

Translation: The series received negative critics and complains on behalf of parents of families in Latin America that claimed that it wasn’t appropriate for the objective public of Discovery Kids. Without doubt in the U.S. the series had been well received and even won an Emmy award for Jack D. Ferraiola, writer and coproductor of the series together with the creator of the same show, Dorothea Gillim, who declared the following in respective to the series: (Source)

Now this one took me by a whirlwind: WTH why was this version hated by people in Latin America while it’s adored by everyone in the U.S.?? And I watched some episodes of LCS and while the dubbing is pretty funny (lol) there wasn’t anything inappropriate about it. For the most part they stuck on script with the original episode they had to dub.

So I dove even deeper...

And o h m y g o d there is an answer to this.

Translation: The program premiered in Latin America on August 2009 on the Discover Kids channel, aiming at pre schoolers. Although the channel gave a lot of promotion for the show during the final months of 2009 and the majority of 2010, at the end of the year they decided to change the programming to nighttime hours because the show received a lot of critics from parents saying that the show was too “violent” and that it encouraged kids to lie to their parents (due to the obvious fact that Becky had to give an excuse everytime she had to leave to turn into WordGirl and save the day), and they complained constantly on the message boards now deleted of the channel. The program was eliminated completely on June 2012, without doubt, PBS maintained the Spanish dubs so that they would use for SAP (Second Audio Program) in the U.S. in a different studio (Dubbing House in Mexico and later Lorry Post in Miami, FL), but the program no longer returned to Discovery Kids until August 2014. (Source)

And DUDE no y’all this was just a complete hilarious yet ridiculous slap to the face. I mean..what the, why was that the reasoning as to why it was hated so much? Just cause of some literal PG kid friendly cartoon violence? And what do parents mean when they say it teaches them to lie to their parents?? I mean with all due respect, who was Discovery Kids target audience they had in mind vs. what it actually was? Because if there actual audience was very very young kids, they okay sure I can understand the need to point fingers at them in that sense. But if it was for slightly older kids (8-10 years old), then I think that parents can probably show kids at that age the reasoning behind why Becky lied in the show (not to mention that most kids at that age can understand what’s going on for the most part).

“Now is this actually true?” some of you may ask, which is understandable since this is coming from a wiki page. Well, I think it’s about time I put another disclaimer: sadly for the most part, the majority of these sources that I’ve attached have broken links when it comes to their references. And the ones that aren’t broken don’t mention anything about the topics that have been discussed here. But there are some smaller sources I’ve found here (look at the last three comments) and here that do indeed confirm that the show was canceled due to the force of parents.

However, the current grey area I’m in still is on the Spanish dubbing listing. See, I originally thought that there were three different dubbings according to this one post below (M&M Studios, Dubbing House and Lorry Post). I even thought I cracked it since according to this chart below the rest of the seasons were under the Dubbing House studios! However, it turns out that one of the studios Lorry Post doesn’t actually exist. Like nothing related to dubbing came up at all when I searched it up.

Translation: Dubbing Studio 1 - M&M Studios (Seasons 1-2). Dubbing Studio 2 - Dubbing House (Seasons 3-8). Dubbing Studio 3 - Lorry Post (Season 8 - final episodes). (Source)

And then that’s when I took a harder look at this website and realized that it’s part of a Spanish Wiki page called “Propuestas de Fans de Doblaje” (Fan Proposals for Dubs). *insert facepalm emoji* And just...I honestly feel so dumb that I didn’t notice that detail when I did my initial research cause that would’ve saved me a lot of time 😤. Anywho so that explains the Lorry Post mystery, but then lies the other question: do the other dubs exist?

Well, this is where I draw the line. See, on that same wikipage, it mentions that LCS had completely different voice actors for each of the dubbings. The first dub (M&M) is from Venezuela and after looking at the VA’s, they can be traced back to LCS. But after looking at the VA’s for the second dub (Dubbing House) in Mexico, there is nothing related to them and LCS or WG. Not even on movie databases.

“Now are you gonna give up on this idea?” you may ask. And the answer is......

No.

Why? Well, it’s mainly because there is a compellingly set of evidence that proves that the first two dubs do actually exist, which is...

THIS VIDEO, which shows that there were not one, but two variations of the LCS Spanish theme song. The first one is the Spanish version, and the second one that plays is the Venezuela version. And if you can remember, there were 2 dubbings of LCS; one located in Mexico (Dubbing House) and another In Venezuela (M&M Studios)!

Anywhosole, that is where I conclude this elaborate essay of mine. There are still a couple of loose strings here and there that I wanna check out myself but I’ve already tired myself out with this essay. I hoped you liked seeing me lose my mind speculate on the LCS episodes! This was honestly pretty fun ngl, maybe I’ll try doing this again in the future if something else interesting pops up! If you have anything you wanna add or maybe point out something that I may have forgotten, please by all means bring it up!

[cherry-ber]

Too drunk to fuck (pt 1)

A. N: so I originally wrote this as a very soft thing, while I myself was kinda tipsy and emo so I figured it was only fair to re-write this with a vibe that fitted the song that inspired it in the first place. I really hope this doesn't turn out shitty.

Anyway as if it needed to be stated, I have a soft spot for Mark but bad boy/ fuckboy / kinda punk - ish Mark??? Yes please.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Everybody seemed to know something about Mark Lee that you didn't understand. You've heard countless rumors about him, how he is agressive and how he's even been in jail a hundred times, how he got expelled from 20 different schools, how he got in a physical fight with a police officer, but after the first time you bumped into him you knew it was absolute bullshit.

The events of that damned day replayed on your head every single night since it first happened a month ago, and you felt like the dumbest girl ever for falling for him, and it was probably true.

That Tuesday morning, you were running late after ditching your alarm five times, arriving to your classroom barely on time, you ran into him, making him drop his phone and his helmet.

“Oh shit, man, I'm sorry” you said quietly, he could barely hear you, and went inside.

You should have known better, because you pissed him off, and you've heard, the guy was scary when he was pissed off.

So, after what seemed the most boring class ever, as you were putting your books in your backpack, he entered the classroom and went directly to your table, staring at you as if he was trying to look intimidating. Everyone noticed, except you.

“Can I help you?” you started almost annoyed, but when you turned to face him, you felt almost afraid “ah, it's you. Listen man, I'm very sorry and I should've apologized better but I was running late-”

He abruptly interrupted you with the cockiest thing you've ever heard, even from a jerk like him:

“I don't care, you should respect me better”

As much of an idiot you've heard he was, you never spoke to him, so hearing him speak to you like that ignited the flame of your very short temper.

“Fucking pardon? Who do you think you are?”

And it seemed like the first someone spoke to him like that, he looked almost amazed and for a whole minute he was speechless and his bad boy attitude wrecked.

“Fuck off” he said and stormed out, leaving you with everybody staring at you in disbelief, but to you, calling him out was just common sense, and you didn't even say anything mean at all.

And as if that first encounter wasn't bad enough, after school, he waited at the exit, and when he spotted you, he walked in your direction and stood in front of you, keeping you from walking away.

“We should go out someday”

And you did. Many days, actually. He would wait outside for you, say hey and walk you to the parking lot, you'd ride his motorcycle and stop in an old abandoned house, you'd go behind it and make out there for an hour or two. At first it was almost exciting, knowing what people thought of him, yet you felt like he was wrapped around your finger every day for some hours at least. But as expected, it escalated quickly. For a whole week and a half, you kept telling yourself that you were strong, that you didn't want to get involved with him, you were just helping him out to release his damn hormones, and that was it. But the day he grinned at you when he saw you walking towards him, you knew you were fucked; up to that point, you thought that Mark Lee was just a hormonal jerk, that built a bad boy image based on nothing but his arrogance and his feeling of being superior, you actually disliked him, but not enough to leave him, because he was almost a good kisser, and his hair was soft when you ran your fingers through it, and fucking damn him, he was actually kinda hot. That was the same day he accidentally grabbed your hand when you were walking to his motorcycle. You always walked close, but never really said a word to each other, and when you did, it was meaningless, maybe him saying you looked nice, maybe you saying you liked his jacket or a cold how was your day when he looked stressed, knowing he wouldn't reply until you were kissing and he was being rough, biting your lips or holding your hands so you don't touch him, he was just like that.

He made it look like an accident, he was lightning a cigarette, and as he was blowing out the smoke, you walking slightly behind him, he reached for your hand, but you immediately panicked and stop, so he just pulled you closer, annoyed by your response, as if he was expecting you to squeeze his hand and walk like any other couple would.

“C'mon, we don't have time for that” he said, dismissing what just happened, brushing away the fact that he liked the heat he felt when he touched you. You were hesitant to grab onto him while he was driving, but he always went so fast it was impossible not to do it.

When you arrived to your secret place, as he was taking off his helmet, and you the one he started carrying just for you, you couldn't help but feel nervous, and you were disgusted with the idea of him being the reason, but you followed him anyway, knowing that even if you didn't want to be there, you would never tell him, you were weak for him, but why would you?

He sat on the ground, and as always, you followed him, sitting on his lap, and you couldn't help but stare at his eyes, his beautiful, shiny eyes, and then his marvelous lips. He probably realized, and you looked away almost blushing, but that only made him giggle. It was the first time you ever heard him giggle, and it was angelic, you couldn’t help but smile. He put your hair behind your ear, and caressed your cheek slowly, as his lips were getting closer to yours, and when he finally kissed you, it felt like electricity running through your body. You caught feelings for Mark.

When he pulled away, you were petrified, you felt scared, but you knew better than showing him how he made you feel, so you kissed him, passionately, not giving him a chance to think, you didn't want to leave a single second where he could talk. As it often occurred, his hands were on your waist, moving through your body, from your thighs, to your chest, stopping for a moment on your neck, you pulling the collar of his white shirt, your hands roaming from his back to his shoulders and his precious hair, only pulling away again when you felt his bulge grow harder, thinking that what you felt before never happened, and that what you really wanted from him was exactly just that, but as you ran your hand over his jeans, he stopped you softly.

“We never really talk. I want that.” he said, squeezing lightly your thigh.

If you did as we wanted, you knew it would be over. You didn't want him to talk, you just wanted his lips, you weren't interested in meeting him, you knew he was a jerk, but he didn't think the same.

“Y/N, how was your day?” he asked with genuine interest, and as you were about to tell him how your teacher was being so hard on your group with pop quizzes every other day, his phone rang. You felt relieved that he was going to pick up when he checked who was calling, and got off him, fixing your clothes and your hair, then trying to fix his hair, he smiled when he felt your fingers playing with his hair, he hung up the phone and glanced nervously at you.

“I'm so fucking sorry, I have to go now, do you want me to drop you home?” Hesitantly, you said yes, and rode home, somehow feeling empty inside, wanting to ask if everything was okay everytime you stopped in a red light, but unable to speak a word, until you arrived home, you knew no one was there, and as you were giving him the helmet back, he asked for your number, “in case I need it” he said.

Head over the clouds, you waited for him to text you the rest of the day, and you were unable to sleep peacefully, hoping he'd call saying sorry for leaving early, and not calling before, but he didn't, and for the next three days, he was not waiting for you outside, you just saw him leave, riding alone, never looking back to you, and you knew then you made a mistake. You should have never kissed him, you should have never talked to him at all, and you sure should have never ever fell for him, but you did, and it was more painful than someone could ever imagine, no one ever warned you about feeling something for him.

Friday, 7:36 p.m: unknown number: “Do you wanna come to a party tomorrow?”

♡ Next

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

GUYS I'M SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG AND I NEEDED TO POST SOMETHING SOON OR I'D LOSE MY MIND, THERE WILL BE A PART 2 BUT I FELT LIKE IT WAS ENOUGH FOR A SINGLE POST

[sofijaeger]

hey sofi!! how are you today after 139? :(

CHAPTER 139 opinions

[i’m going to make you all very uncomfortable as you read this, I apologize. Read with caution because this is very personal, and i obviously know i’ve been in an unhealthy state for a while, but it’s my honest truth.]

um

not well

like at all

i feel like everything i’ve been trying to convince people of for years has disproved me in every way. And i’m specifically going to focus on eren if that’s alright.

my comfort anime is over and my favorite character of all time is dead

on top of that i had to use the ‘springtime allergy’ excuse to cover my sobs up all day because i couldn’t bear reading that he was in love with mikasa.

a part of my heart actually broke today, because i’ve been in love with eren for as long as i’ve supported this series. He was my source of validation, someone i’ve been using to wake up in the morning and fall asleep at night for. Now watching someone i not only live for but idolize, chosing someone else proves i was never good enough. For what exactly? Eren i guess, but him being real is impossible, and It’s not like he’d chose me out of billions of people if he were real anyways.

of course i want him to be happy, and if that’s with mikasa i obviously cannot do anything about it and only wish them the best. They’re simply lines on paper while i am a living, breathing, human being. Though a part of me is never going to accept the fact he’s loved her this entire time. Maybe it’s me continuing to be in denial, but I can’t accept it no matter how much i try, and i’m certain everytime i think of him now i’ll feel this guilt in the back of my throat, reminding me he was never mine to begin with.

now i know i should not try to work or be my best self for someone else, much less a fake character, and that i should be bettering me for me only, but there has always been this oddly toxic version of myself since i was a child that leaks through now and then, withering my self esteem away in addition to every critique i receive from just about everyone in my real life. It’s made me a perfectionist and i hate it. So watching him, who i’ve truly come to love more than any real person, go through this reserved phase alongside me has made me feel like i’m not alone.

But the fact he couldn’t achieve his wishes, his happiness and his freedom, and was left to suffer alone makes me believe i’ll reach the same fate. Yes i kin him and love eren, whatever, but i genuinely felt a massive connection to him and now the hopelessness in myself thats built up over the years has completely skyrocketed due to the pain he’s tolerated for so long and how on some level, i relate to that same pain.

To make matters even worse, i’ve been convincing myself for months that someday, somehow, and in some universe he could smile because of me. That i would be his own reason for living. And it’s so bad for me to think this way, i feel bothered by my own words, but holding this in hurts so bad. I cry my feelings out about anything and everything almost every night to a fucking plush of him, i hit not interested under every video supporting eremika on tik tok. So when you see my username, my posts about him, my freakig oc, anything, it isn’t me just liking him as a character, but me genuinely trying to persuade myself that in some place and time, i’m good enough to be his.

I can’t tell you how bad i feel to anyone reading this. This is beyond unhealthy of me and i need to fix myself so bad.

But I’m absolutely devastated in myself and anyone who tried to take away the real eren. Yes, i understand the disgusting condition i’m in, and i should probably go get some help, but is it wrong i don’t want any? I feel like i deserve to suffer this unrealistic, ridiculous love i have for him because i’d feel even worse if I were to move on and find someone else to love just as much. I really don’t want to. Part of me enjoys seeing myself fail and i can’t escape it.

that is all

oh and to my eren anon, maybe it’s best we stop communicating🥲

[miraculousamara]

I got a story idea earlier today, I posted two chapters on my wattpad today. Basically it's a story idea where Chloe has a twin sister. But the twin is actually nicer than Chloe and only does what Chloe tells her because she makes her. This is Stoneheart Orgins Part 2.Because of text limit I'll add two parts. If anyone has any questions about missing plot points you can just comment or I might post the first chapter. Also Chloe and Cameron aren't identical twins, they have the same hair color, but they have different eye color, they are fraternal twins even though they are the same gender. (If I got any facts about twins wrong please tell me.my mother is an identical twin so I don't really know much about fraternal twins as I've only met one set)

Cameron's POV:

On the TV:

Nadja: (standing to the side of a picture of one of Stoneheart's minions, tablet in hand) The stone beings are scattered all over Paris, and for the time being, they are showing no signs of movement. (a variety of pictures is shown) Police have cordoned off the area.

Father: (on television alongside officer Roger) We won't stop until we find a way to get these people back to their normal selves, but for now, we're not making much headway.

(The camera flips backs to Nadja standing next to a photo of Ladybug and Cat Noir.)

Nadja: Paris is relying on our new guardian angels, Ladybug and Cat Noir, to save us all. Our lives depend on them.

I'm going to go to bed for the night.. I just hope tomorrow will be better.

Ladybug and Cat Noir.. I believe in you. I trust you. I know you can save us.

--------------------------------------

Morning

I better get dressed before Chloe complains..

"Cameron! I set out your clothes!" I hear Chloe call out.

"Oh yay. What would I do without you?" I say sarcastically

"You would do nothing without me, because I always outshine you." Chloe says

"I'm just gonna get dressed." I groan

I rush downstairs to the hall and am the first to see father.

"Hey dad." I say

"Cameron. Are you okay? You're not scared about everything going on right?" He asks

"No father, I trust you, Ladybug and Cat Noir. I know they will save us." I say

"Thank you sweetie, I'll do everything in my power to keep you and your sister safe." He says

"I know you will." I say giving him a hug.

---------------

A few minutes later..

Chloe comes downstairs.

"Hey is Jean whatever his name is ready with the car?" Chloe asks

"Yes, and remember to be safe dear." Dad says

"Yeah whatever. Come on Cameron!" Chloe says

I follow after Chloe and get in the limo.

-------------

In the limo

"And you better remember what we talked about last night." Chloe says

"Of course Chloe." I say

I forgot to write in my diary about the whole Stoneheart thing last night, but I guess I can do it later today. When Chloe isn't bothering me.

----

"Okay we're here." Chloe says

We exit the limo, greet Sabrina and enter the school.

"Woah look, it's Ivan." I say to Chloe.

"Let's go and see what the crowd around him wants." Chloe says with a suspicious looking smirk.

Oh no.. she's up to no good. She never is.

Especially when that look overtakes her facial expression.But I can't do anything no matter what she does... She warned me what will happen if I mess up again today. I just hope that she decides to be not so harsh for once, but the likelihood of that happening is slim to none unfortunately.

We walk over to the group.

"So you don't remember anything that happened? Alix asks Ivan.

"You were going ballistic! It was so cool!" Says Juleka.

"You were gonna crush me or something!" Says Kim

"I'm so sorry,  I wasn't myself." Ivan says

"I'm sure Ivan didn't mean to-" I start

Chloe Elbows me.

"What did we just talk about Cameron?" Chloe asks

"Oh right sorry. " I say sadly

"Once a monster, always a monster!" Chloe says

Ivan growls and storms off.

"Oh and don't let the door hit you on the way out!" Chloe says laughing

-------------------

Third Person POV:

(I TOOK THIS FROM THE TRANSCRIPT AGAIN)

Scene: Hawk Moth's lair.

Hawk Moth: Yes… feel the burn of those words. Lose your temper, Ivan! Your akuma awaits you. (taps on the cane that is holding the akuma)

----------------

Cameron's POV:

"How could you say such horrible things to Ivan? You're the real Stoneheart!" Alya yells at Chloe

"Yeah, I'm the one who broke Sabrina's dad's arm.Back me up Cameron." Chloe says

"Just because you got that dumb footage of those superheroes doesn't mean you should get all high and mighty." I say

Chloe laughs and blows a bubble in Alya's face.

I do feel bad for what I said, but if Chloe ever catches me apologizing, it will be the end of me.

"Ugh! You little brats!" Alya starts

"Look everyone! She's angry! She's gonna split her underwear and turn into a huge muscly monster!" Chloe says

Alya growls and storms off.

Suddenly I see Adrien appear and wave to us.

"Hey Chloe, hey Cameron!" Adrien says

"Hi Adrien." I say

"Adrikins! You came!" Chloe says running over to him to hug him

I see a bunch of people who recognize him start to gush over him.

-------------------

"Isn't it amazing that you, me and my twin sister are all in the same class?!" Says Chloe

"Yeah, it is, I already have two people I know." Adrien says with a smile.

"Wow you look a lot like your mother." I say in awe.

"What?" He asks

"She said nothing." Chloe says while glaring at me.

"Cameron?" He asks

"Yeah, Chloe's right. I said nothing." I say

"One more slip up Cameron." She threatens

"I'm sorry, it won't happen again." I say

"Yeah, it better not." She says

I could've sworn Adrien passed a shocked look at Chloe, but that could be me just hoping someone heard her for once.

As we enter the classroom and Adrien finishes giving random people his autograph, Chloe rushes in front of us.

"Look Adrikins! I saved you a seat right in front of me!" Chloe says

"Thanks Chloe." Adrien says sitting next to Nino.

I sit in my seat behind Sabrina.

"Hi." Adrien says looking at Nino

"So you're friends with Chloe and Cameron?" Nino asks suspiciously

I feel bad for him anyway..

Suddenly I hear Adrien making an issue of something, I turn around and see Chloe and Sabrina putting gum on Marinette's seat.

"Woah, what are you doing?" Adrien asks

"The brats who sat here yesterday need some attitude adjustment, so I'm gonna teach it to them." Chloe says

Adrien gets up.

"I really don't think that's necessary." Adrien says

"Adrikins, no offense but you have a whole lot to learn about school culture." She says

"Didn't you already insult Alya in the hall?" I ask outloud on accident.

"Cameron what was that?" Chloe asks threateningly

"Nothing important." I say

"That's what I thought." She says

I look at the top of my desk sadly.

-------------

Suddenly I hear the familiar voice of Marinette shout.

"Hey! What do you think you're doing?" I hear her say.

I look up and see Adrien picking at the gum on Marinette's seat.

Oh poor Adrien..

"Um-" he says

Chloe and Sabrina laugh.

Chloe glares at me for not laughing, so I just go along with it.

"Haha so funny you four." Marinette says

"Wait, I was just trying to get it off!" Adrien says

"Sure you were." Marinette says

Chloe and Sabrina keep laughing.

"Ugh, you're friends with the terrible two huh?" She asks

Honestly I don't blame her for that comment, but it still hurts everytime someone compares me to Chloe.

"Why do people keep saying that?" I hear Adrien quietly and sadly ask.

Marinette covers her seat with a tissue, and the two sit down

"See what I mean about respect?" Chloe asks

Adrien sadly sighs.

"Hey where's Ivan?" I ask

"How should I know where that brute is?" Chloe asks

"Why didn't you tell them that it was 'The Terrible Two's' idea?" I hear Nino ask

"I've known Chloe and Cameron since I was little... and while they may not be perfect, I can't throw them under the bus, they're my only friends. And I'm starting to think Cameron might not really have much to do with Chloe's plans.." I hear Adrien say.

He's the first person who has ever said anything nice like that about me..

"The terrible two are a package deal my man.. but I'm Nino, and it's about time you made some new friends." I hear him say

He deserves good friends. I wish I was allowed to have friends...

---------------

Third Person POV:

(FROM THE TRANSCRIPT)

Scene: Hawk Moth's lair.

Hawk Moth: Yes. This is what I've been waiting for. You know the way, evil akuma. Track down your prey! Fly away and evilize him!

(The akuma held in Hawk Moth's cane exits it and flies out the window.)

-----

Scene: The locker room. Ivan is upset. The akuma flies in and infects Ivan's wadded-up song lyrics.

Hawk Moth: (from his lair) This is your second chance, Stoneheart, and this time you have extra help. No one will stop you from capturing the love of your life. Just remember, I'll need something in return.

(Ivan is akumatized into Stoneheart again. He opens his eyes and all the other stone beings across Paris start waking up.)

I'll link the rest of this chapter when I post the rest of it.

[everlarkficexchange]

Operation: BREAD (Bring Revenge on Everdeen to Avenge Dad)

Written by: @alliswell21

Prompt 23: Rumor: MrEverdeen crossed fence dividing Town and Seam, kidnapped Mrs Everdeen making her his common law wife. Years later, Mellark sons plan to avenge their father by raiding Seam and kidnapping one of Everdeen’s daughters for one of them to take as a wife! Does Katniss “volunteer,” does she escape, how do the 3 brothers decide what to do with her since they didn’t plan it all out well? [submitted by @567inpanem]

Rated: T for now, for language.

Author’s Note: So, I resigned myself that this prompt won’t be completed by the new dateline of May 10th, because believe it not, quarantining with the husband and children at home makes for a very busy day… everyday. I haven’t been able to write anything for days at a time, and everytime I come back, I reread what I’ve written so far, and find faults that need fixing and what I hoped to be a short story is turning into a long one shot because I’m incapable of keep things simple… and now I’m ranting about everything instead of thanking everyone— from the EFE administrators, to @567inpanem for the prompt, and y’all dear readers— and wishing all moms a happy Mother’s Day, even if you celebrate it on a different date in your country… and I a belated happy birthday to Katniss Everdeen and Also a happy Mother’s Day to her, because she deserves it… anywho…

Here’s is the very first part of this story, that can’t make up its mind on what it wants to be (it’s leaning into romcom territory right now), I’ll post all my submissions soonish (hopefully finished), and I apologize for any formatting defects since I’m posting from my cell phone, otherwise I’ll forget to post it at all.

Sorry this is messy! I love y’all! Stay healthy.

————

“Quiet, you morons!” Bannock… whispers?

Is that the right descriptor for the harsh, low sounds that comes from his mouth? I’m not quite sure, but I look at him sheepishly, since I was the one to trip on air this time around and nearly knock down a clothesline, poles and all.

“S-sorry…” I stutter drunkenly.

Rye shrugs, uncaring. Asshole!

Bannock glares at us with his bloodshot, angry blue eyes before turning around and creeping forward.

It’s a chilly night out, with no stars and just a sliver of moon casting minimal light over us, ideal to maraud and raid… if we lived any place else, that is.

If we were to find ourselves face to face with the flashlight of a Peacekeeper patrolling the streets, things could go anywhere from awkward to deadly, and I really hope we don’t have to find out how it’ll truly go. We’re wasted, outside our house after curfew, and facing our mother’s wrath would probably be as terrible as any punishment the peacekeepers would inflict on us.

The later option has me swallowing thickly.

I’m no coward by any stretch of the word… but I do enjoy being alive, so… yeah.

“Don’t mess around, no more!” Bannock chides.

As soon as Bann turns around, Rye mouths his words back, mockingly, and I wonder— not for the first time— how can my brothers be so immature? Bannock just turned 25, while Rye has the mind of a 13 year old trapped in the muscular body of a 24 year old man; leaving sweet, little me, the 21 year old baby sibling, to bring the rear.

Rye burps, mostly quietly, earning another warning glare from Bann. All things considered, I’m a little impressed at how stealthily we’ve been moving so far, being as enebriated as we are and all. But who knows? Maybe we really aren’t as slick as my alcohol soaked brain thinks we are, and I’m just too skunked to know any better.

“D’you think we’ll be back before father wakes to take care of the ovens?” Rye slurs a little, squinting his eyes at a cat trotting across the alley in front of him. A second later he’s frowning down at the cat, shushing it obnoxiously, as if it’s soft paws are the ones making the stopping sounds coming from his own boots.

Bannock shrugs, “Who cares!”

I’m about to raise my hand and respond that I do, I care, but Rye starts laughing like an idiot, already distracted by something else. We turn to catch him picking up a stick and throwing it at the poor, unsuspecting cat. As soon as the stick hits it’s side, the animal loses its balance, making it fall into a trash can, with a terrified cry.

It’s awful. And loud.

“Knock it off!” Bannock growls as quietly as he can. “You’re gonna wake up the whole town, asshole!”

The cat meows indignantly, climbing out of the trash. He jumps to the other side and it’s gone in the next moment.

I sigh, rubbing one hand over my face. “Guys, I think we should go back. I don’t think Father will approve of this.”

“Shut up, Peeta!”

“Yeah! Shut it, runt!”

I grunt in aggravation under my breath. “I’m serious. We shouldn’t be out here… at all!” I insist.

“Why did you come then?” Bann hisses.

“You dragged me out with you, jackass!” I counter, pointedly. Plus, I’m the least drunk out of the three of us, and I figured I should keep an eye on them two, make sure they don’t get hurt in this idiotic quest… but I don’t say that out aloud. “I still don’t understand why, are we stumbling across town in the middle of the night, risking getting caught outside after curfew.”

“You know why, Peeta! We’ve gone over it to death,” snaps Bann, twisting his whole body to face me and almost walking into a potted plant sitting by somebody’s back door. “Father doesn’t know how to take care of himself, let alone how to defend his honor!”

“Our hands have been forced, runt. We need to pick up the slack, that’s why!”

I roll my eyes at my brothers.

It’s true though. For the last 26 years, our father has been both the butt of every joke said in the streets of district 12, and the victim of a tragic cautionary tale, people somehow feel the sadistic inclination to bring up to us, Mellark boys, as if we needed the reminder.

“Geez… save it for Everdeen, Bann. Let the runt keep his head instead of chewing it off him!”

Bannock frowns. It’s not everyday Rye comes to my defense, which means he really must be hammered.

Cool! I love brotherly affection… even if given under the influence.

“Whatever.” Bannock mutters under his breath. “We’re here anyway.” He signals to the fence dividing our district into two unequal sections: the merchant quarter, where we live, and the Seam (our destination), the largest— yet poorest— side of 12.

It’s unclear why the government erected the fence running right through the district in the first place, but the effect of having a literal barrier separating everyone in our small district, couldn’t be any clearer: we have a huge social divide amongst our people, very distinct and hard to overcome. Both sides distrusting the other, despite there never being a tangible reason why.

Personally, I think the most logical explanation for the creation of the internal fence, was just sheer desire to create hostility and antagonism between the citizens of 12… maybe it’s easier for the Capitol’s long arm to control a podunk place like here, when there’s an unbridgeable social chasm between our own denizens; how can we band together to demand better treatment and fair representation from the mighty Capitol, when we’re fighting with each other?

Of course, I keep my opinion to myself, because speaking of such things is just a sure way to find oneself in prison, facing charges of public agitation and whatnot.

Bann cuts through my musings, “Alright… let’s find a spot to cross over.” He says determined and still very intoxicated.

The worst kept secret in District 12, is how some sections of the fence are too close to the houses in the merchant side. If one really wants to cross into the other side over the fence, one only needs to look for a low wall adjacent to the top links of the fence to climb on, and after that, it’s all a matter of gravity pulling you down. Its been done before too…

Everyone speculates that’s what happened the day our father fell into disgrace: A man from the Seam found a weak spot to exploit… and the rest is history. Never mind the fact that jumping the fence is a common enough hooligan deed; how else can teenage couples reach the Slag Heap at the edge of the old coal mines to engage in their secret affairs?

It only takes us a few minutes to find a brick wall circling the backyard of a random house, just two feet shy of the fence.

We climb it with all the grace of a pig crawling up a greased pole, but after much huffing and puffing, we manage— with great effort— to drag ourselves over the barrier. We’re sweating and swearing, but who could blame us for that? We Mellark boys are just too broad and heavy with muscle, add to the mix the fact that we’ve drank our body weight in white liquor right before Bann had the brilliant idea of dragging us out here, and you have an uncoordinated— mostly clumsy— sad excuse, trio of vandals.

Rye goes first, then I go; finally, Bannock splatters down like a bullfrog, falling on his ass. He’s disgruntled and I suspect in dire need of a nap.

“Come on!” He commands, dusting his behind sloppily.

We’ve been walking aimlessly through unfamiliar dirt roads and dark unpaved alleys. The place is littered with produce crates set upside down in neat circles every other road… I vaguely wonder if that’s what passes as a socializing hot spot here in the Seam, like the square with its concrete benches is for us in town?

Sometimes I forget how things can be so shitty on this side of the District. It makes my stomach twist unpleasantly with guilt, realizing I take certain privileges for granted.

About five minutes into our stupid intrusion into Seam territory, Rye speaks up.

“Dude… do you know where they live?”

Bannock’s head snaps up, clearly annoyed. “How hard can it be to find the Seam’s apothecary?”

Very, actually.

First of all, The Seam consists of row after row of seemingly identical shacks, in varying states of shabbiness, arranged in a huge matrix of sorts. Each row is made of three to five houses with a slim road in between the next set of homes.

For what I gather in my limited liquor-addled brain, each horizontal row has a designated letter, and the vertical street goes by number. Other than that, there are no other distinguishing signs, telling us where we are or how to find the ‘Seam apothecary’ as Bann inarticulately dubbed it.

Rye groans in annoyance, seeming ready to overrule Bannock and call the whole thing off, himself; but my drunk ass is too stupid to keep my big mouth shut.

“They live close to the electric fence. Right before the meadow. They probably have a fence-in yard, too.”

I wince, regretting my words right away. I shouldn’t have said anything, but like an idiot, I couldn’t help spilling out the small bursts of information I’ve gathered over the years on the Everdeens.

I’m ashamed to admit it, but the Everdeens are a bit of an obsession to me… for all of us Mellarks, really. Given our entangled past with them, it shouldn’t be so much of a revelation, but this thing between our families has been a nuisance ever since I can remember and while my brothers and mother use it as a focal point of hatred and animosity. For me, is a curiosity driven thirst for knowledge on everything Everdeen. Anything that could shed light on our sordid past, I would gobble up, trying to answer why something that has virtually nothing to do with me and my brothers, still haunt us everywhere we go.

Rye frowns. “Fence-in yard?” He looks around the houses we are passing, realizing none of those have fences.

“Goat.” Bannock grunts, nodding thoughtfully. “Good catch, runt.”

“Huh?” Rye is scratching his head, confused.

“The blonde girl,” Bann says with mild irritation.

People from the Seam have a very specific look to them: dark— usually straight— hair, gray eyes, olive skin… ‘blonde’, blue eyed and pale, is more of a descriptor for people from the merchant class, like us… like Mrs. Everdeen.

The poor woman must stick out like a sore thumb in here; probably the same goes to her merchant-looking daughter, Primrose.

“What about the blonde?”

“She makes goat cheese.” Bann huffs as explanation, but since Rye still looks like the concept is too hard to fathom, Bannock grunts, expanding. “She trades the cheese in town. Mainly with Father. Which means, Everdeen has to keep at least one goat for the girl to have access to milk.”

“M’kay… goat, fences, meadow.” Rye lists clumsily on his fingers, following after Bann. “Got it!”

We quickened our steps in the direction of the electric fence. I’m still kicking myself for saying anything when we reach the last row of houses before the meadow.

I really hope I’m wrong about them having a goat, although I find it hard to believe Primrose steals milk from other people for her cheeses. She looks so sweet and innocent.

Alas, I’m too clever for my own good sometimes.

The very first house in the row at the edge of the meadow, has a pen connected to the house on the strip of backyard allotted to them. A tiny but sturdy shed stands against the back wall of the house, and if my eyes don’t deceive me, I can barely make out the snout of a goat, peeking out of the narrow opening of the shed.

“This is it!” Rye crows excitedly, rubbing his hands together and licking his chops like a hungry, humanoid wolf.

“Yeah. Finally!” Grunts Bann, “keep your voice down, doofus.” his reaction, both frenzied and anxious.

“Let’s do this!” Rye’s smile is deranged.

“Great!” I hiccup with fake enthusiasm. “What are we doing?” I deadpan, staring at my siblings with all the aggravation I can muster.

My brothers speak excitedly at the same time:

“Taking one of the girls back home with us!”/“Beating the shit out of Everdeen!”

My brothers look at each other, perplexed, and go, “”What?!” At the same time.

“Fuck!” I groan to the skies, noting its near dawn. “You better be joking! We came all the way out here, and you idiots didn’t plan what you were going to do once we arrived?”

“No… I mean, yes! No. it’s simple,” Slurs Rye trying to stare me in the eye and failing miserably, “We’re dragging Everdeen out here. Then, we’ll beat the snot out of the bastard, and have you doodle the whole thing out for Father… you’ll finally use that art talent of yours for something we’ll all enjoy… not just you,”

“No, no, no, no!” Snaps Bannock. “We’re taking one of Everdeen’s daughters, bring her back home with us, and avenge father.”

“What? Why?” Rye whines much too loud and even I shush him. “I thought we were just gonna jump the bastard and rearrange his face a little,” Rye sounds disappointed.

Bannock answers right away, sounding like our mother when she’s chiding us for some thing or another. “Dude… the guy stole Dad’s girl! You know what they say about repaying a slight with the same coin and all that shit. It stands to reason, the course of action here is to take one of the girls home with us, sleep with her, and get her pregnant or something, then she can’t come back to her daddy.”

I throw my hands up in the air, “That’s it! I’m out!” My brain practically short circuits with the outrageous shit my brothers are spewing out of their mouths.

Sure, beating the lights out of an unsuspecting man in front of his house in the middle of the night is already crazy, but Bann’s idea to take a girl away from her home, it’s beyond preposterous!

Instead of lashing out, I turn around and stalk away as fast as my legs can carry me. I’m still tipsy, so I stumble a little, but I’m determined to leave.

“Hey! Where are ya going?!”

I get grabbed by the bíceps and pulled back to ‘hide’ behind a scraggly bush overlooking the house we assume is Everdeen’s. My brothers push me down by the shoulders roughly, until I’m sitting on my ass.

“The hell is wrong with you two?” I snarl, trying to punch and kick either one of them.

“Shut up, runt! They’re gonna hear you!”

“Good! Then someone will call the Peacekeepers over.”

“Wha— No! Why would you want that?” Rye whines.

“I didn’t sign up for any of this crazy shit!” I spit enraged.

“Dude, you can’t bail on operation BREAD,” Rye scrunches up his face.

“Operation Bread? What in the hell, is operation Bread?” I wrench my arms free from them at last, glowering up at both.

“Bring Revenge on Everdeen to Avenge Dad!” Rye says proudly, a lopsided smile brightens his face, and all I want to do is punch his nose.

“You’re insane!” I sputter.

“No… I’m cle-ver!” Rye grins, tapping a finger to his temple.

“Come on, Peeta. You know this needs to be done!” Bann cuts in.

“No! It doesn’t!” I argue. I still feel woozy from alcohol though, so it’s costing me too much effort trying to get up. “This is just insane, Bannock! What you’re proposing is just… heinous!” I hiss.

Bannock’s face hardens, “Nobody will see it like that.” He assures, “An eye for an eye, baby brother.”

“So what? We’re gonna kidnap and rape an innocent girl in revenge, and you think that’ll fix anything? Will it bring peace? It’ll help you get Madelynn’s parents to back off and let her marry you?” I’m so pissed off, I’m pretty sure spittle is flying out of my mouth. “It won’t do anyone any good! Not us, nor father, and especially not Katniss or Primrose!”

“Shut the fuck up!” Bannock flies at me, and all I have to do is lift my arms to shield my head.

Rye is an equal opportunity asshole most of the time, but in this moment, he’s the one stopping Bannock from breaking my face in two, and I’m very grateful for my middle brother manhandling our eldest for me.

“Rape is a strong word, runt.” Rye gasps with the effort of keeping Bannock from kicking my ass. But if the wrinkling of his nose is any indication, I think maybe my words are chipping away some of his complicitness in this mess. “Maybe, what Bann meant, was, one of us will… you know… spend time with the girl, and then… make her his common law wife or something?” Rye looks at Bann expectantly.

Bannock nods. Rye lets go of him.

We all stay silent, breathing heavily for a moment.

“Same coin. Simple as that.”

If the stories are to be believed, Sorrel Everdeen crossed the fence dividing the merchant quarter and the seam, kidnapped my father’s betrothed— Lily— and made her his common law wife, despite being common knowledge, that the woman in question was engaged to our father since they were very young.

It’s an old rumor, really, with no real way to fact-check the events that led to this moment in time, but there’s always been some nasty whispering churning around town; tales varying in height and perjury, sometimes scandalous, others depraved, always with add-ons and full of conjectures flavored by the speaker in turn, but never the whole truth.

The worst thing is that the stories die down for a while when something juicer comes up, but then resurface, like a persistent oily stain on cement… It’s been 26 years since the real events leading to the Everdeens controversial marriage took place, yet the old gossip mill in District 12 has waxed over and rewritten the sordid story through the lense of judgemental people over and over again, until even our mother has started to repeat the outlandish tales, as if she wasn’t an active participant of the story herself.

Still… “I just can’t!” I say both exasperated and grossed out. “We should just go home—“

I get cut off when the door of the Everdeen house opens spilling faint candlelight into the almost blackened-out street.

My brothers rush to huddle around me, crowding on top of me like a pair of boulders… or worse: a pair of sweaty, heavy, alcohol doused men. Disgusting!

The door of the shack closes softly and to our shock, a very angry looking Katniss Everdeen stomps in the direction of the sad excuse for a bush we’re hiding in.

“Hmm… guys… I think she sees us.” I mumble calmly, yet terrified. Katniss Everdeen, eldest daughter of Sorrel and Lily, is coming our way with fire in her eyes.

TBC on AO3…

[endersketch]

An Apology - Please Read the whole thing

Last year around August, I joined an ego discord server. It was a wonderful server run by someone I still think of as a friend, even if we don’t talk anymore. And for good reason. I was not kind then… and I realize now why. It wasn’t a good place for me, and perhaps it wasn’t a good place to be after so much had happened within. The inner circles of that place were run differently then I would have liked, at the time. We had a Not Safe For Work chat that was only open to those of age, 18 or older. I was very overly sexual, and it upset and made some people uncomfortable. I wanted to be sexual with people I thought were comfortable with it, and at one point they probably were. But as I kept going, I assume it quickly became bad. People messaged me about it, and I was quick to apologize. But I was still angry. 

I never publicly expressed this, but I did to this friend.  I wanted to be in a relationship with him, and when he said no I got angry, annoyed. I tried to open his eyes to what life actually was, and how he couldn’t be this person forever. But it wasn’t my place. I did some awful things I’m not proud of. I say some things that I know now are wrong and I left. It wasn’t right of me to control them, or try to let them control me. It was very different than ‘the group of friends’ I wanted them to be. I wish now that someone had opened my eyes to what I was doing and I didn’t have to do it myself. But that is the best way to learn.

During this time I was in another server run by Bird of Prey. He was very kind to me, the other people on the server let me rant out my troubles and I thought I had found friends. This was all around my birthday, when I finally left the other server for good. During that time several people had blocked my old friend over things that I had told them. This brought up some screenshots of our conversations and Bird of Prey brought it to my attention. I was upset and confused, hurt that someone had taken private screenshots and shown them to him. I explained I was not proud of what I said. At this point I had realized that it wasn’t right, that it wasn’t my place to control him or what he should be. I was regretful and deeply sorry for what I had done and I was trying to change. He, thankfully, supported me. And it was something I was truthful about. Even now, I am trying to change. And I will forever be grateful that he came to me, to hear my side.

By this point I had created my own server on the side, asking some friends if they would like to join. It would be a smaller server stemming off of the one Bird of Prey had made. My own manor, where we could do as we pleased. I will say, I had mostly created it for nsfw purposes, but I picked who was able to join based on how I knew them on Bird’s. Every member was over 18, I made sure of this, having dealt with minors accidentally getting into other servers before. Here we could roleplay our characters, our egos, and ourselves as we pleased. We had a pair of great months, at least from my perspective. We roleplayed and grew our characters and I loved them all. I was very close with two of the members and I had hoped to visit them this summer. But this is where the trouble happened. I will now tie together the original call out post by Starybinch, and my own experience.

There were a few things that upset me, specifically over Starybinch’s egos. I was at one point very close to his Blue Google: Beta. Beta was someone I cared deeply for, I wanted to rp and talk with him and do so many things. But Starybinch stopped roleplaying him. He had mentioned off hand that someone kept bugging him about him. I knew it was me, I felt awful. Suddenly all of Julian’s egos seemed rude to me, mean and accusing of so many small things. I wish I had talked to him about it straight on, especially since I had a hunch the reason he wasn’t playing Beta was because of me. I’m a firm believer, after everything I’ve done, that talking it out is the best action. We were both adults, both people perfectly capable of placing out our differences and trying to find common ground. But I didn’t. And I believe that was my fault. I wish I had. I was angry and upset that everyone else was getting their Google bot interaction, and everytime I tried to do something, they would lash out, even after I tried to apologize. But I believe that all ties into the next thing.

Hindsight is 20/20. I fully believe this. As we roleplayed I jumped into conversations with egos, I tried interacting where other people were busy. At the time I thought I was not doing anything wrong, nothing anyone else had done. It was rude of me to do these things. However, it was too late when I realized how sevier this problem was to others. I realized this when Starybinch’s Host lashed out at me. I was deeply hurt, and truly sorry for doing this. I messaged him and asked if everything was okay. And this was for everything, I wanted to know what I had done to make the egos hate me, if I had done anything to Starybinch to make the emotions he was feeling bleed into his roleplay. I’ve seen it done in the past. At the time I didn’t realize they’d told me about twice to shut up and let people talk. Starybinch said “everything was fine.” But now I see it wasn’t. I know I should have realized I was doing something wrong before I had to ask, but I also wish that Starybinch had told me what was wrong instead of saying everything was fine. I wish he hadn’t felt like he had to keep the problems with me secret. 

Then the anon came. They started threatening Starybinch. It was something that caused him to leave once and come back. I felt so awful that something like this was happening to a friend of mine. Worse, they were mentioning a server. He thought it was either of the two main ones he was in, mine and Bird of Prey’s. That happened a few weeks ago, before everything went to shit. The anon was quiet, for a while, until they came back full force. They mentioned things from my server, egos that Starybinch had played. Things he had done. Instantly, StarShineRobotic turned on me. Blaming me for everything, all these awful things being said. I was broken, I was shaken. Pleading for anyone to listen to me that I hadn’t sent those. I never would. But several people left. The server was dead. Something that was once so lively and active was suddenly barren. StarShine left, one of Starybinch’s friends left. Starybinch had left before the accusations began because of the anons. I was heartbroken, I was angry they would accuse me of something I would never think of doing. I tried working with my remaining friends to see what could be done. To see if someone would come forward. No one did. We never found out who sent those anons. 

I couldn’t believe anyone in our server would do this. At the time we were just pointing fingers, trying to figure out who on the server could do this. We kept pointing fingers at everyone, unable to see how anyone could be the anon. But all the pointing fingers came back to me. The anon conntinued to mention things that could only be known if they were in the server. The anon also mentioned a different server which surprised me, since we hadn’t talked about another server and I didn’t know of one. 

I know now that everyone of them had another server, one that everyone else had for months. Starybinch confessed this when he snapped at me, but I’ll mention that later.

I was so sure everything had been fine these past few months. But then again, what did I know. My anxiety was through the roof as everyone was pressuring me, trying to make me do something, someone needed to go but who? I eventually kicked 3 people. We were down to 5. Our group of 14 had shrunk so fast over something that could have been talked out. Starybinch returned and we sat there for a while, trying to figure out who. I was exhausted, I was tired, emotionally distressed over what to do about this. I was having to manage a group of friends over something so horrid, so awful. At the time I had the terrifying thought that someone was framing me, but I didn’t know who.

The anon continued to send asks, threatening to come to Starybinch’s house and kill his dog, Taffy. The sweetest dog ever. If this was the point that people would believe me, it wasn’t. They accused me still, wondering why and how I could do such a thing. How I could say homophobic and transphobic things to a friend, how I could tell someone to kill themselves. It wasn’t me, I told them over and over. I swore on my life, on my friendships, on the love I had for two specific people… people I thought loved me too.

Starybinch and I had a moment of clarity when I explained everything I have written here today. Obviously I didn’t want to mention some of the things, as I thought most of them had been resolved. Starybinch had come forward to say he was upset because of how much attention I had been getting over his bots. How much they had started to love me. He was angry that I was able to interact but not him. I told him how I had been upset over everything as well. I didn’t want anything between us. I told the truth, I spilled my heart to someone I trusted and loved with my whole heart. However, not 10 mins later he told me the real truth.

Starybinch told me everything, things began to unfold. He told me how everyone had hated me since February, how everything I had done was wrong. How they had screenshots and receipts long past. How he hated me, how they had another server. How they have proof the anons were me and how I was making everyone uncomfortable. They gave me screenshots of role plays I thought were just stories. They told me I was obsessive, controlling, how I had made everyone hate me so fast. And I will tell you now some truths.

Yes I posted nudes, I thought I did in a group of friends. No one said anything about it. I thought I was in a trusted group where I could do this, show something I was proud of. I made fun in rps because it’s a roleplay. They are characters. If you as the runner were uncomfortable you should have told me, you should have told me so much sooner about everything! Why didn’t you, why did you drag it out just to give this big reveal? No one came to my aid, no one believed me. I had no one, no one to believe me, no one to support me. They were sorry that my “rich and privileged upbringing had made me so blind to other people’s troubles” how I was selfish and awful and controlling. 

To another point, I have never erotically roleplayed with a minor. I will tell you that I was close, and I did flirt with two blogs on tumblr that I had no idea were minors. They were a Darkiplier and Googleplier rp blog of two friends. When I discovered that they were minors I stopped. I stopped and explained how I was uncomfortable with it. They were cool and we maybe talked on and off for about a month. I haven’t talked with them since. This was about a year ago. Every since I’ve been very careful with who I roleplay with. I ask and make sure I know the person well before even getting into nsfw territory. 

This entire thing drove me straight down into a dark place. I was very lucky that when I left the voice call that I was in, that my friend sent my brother to check up on me. I am very lucky for my real friends, my family and my partner for supporting me through this hard time.

I have shown you I have done awful things… things that I’m not proud of. I can show you I’m trying to change and I’m growing. I can assure you that after all of this I will take a long time to learn from my past before going back. But if there is one thing I wouldn’t do, it’s wish the death of another person. I would never threaten someone or their pets, no matter how much I like, or dislike them. I would never try to do these things. 

I am sorry that I’ve done these things, I will be sorry about it for the rest of my life. I never want to be like that person again, and I will use what I have learned to fix that. I will be taking a long hiatus from tumblr, and maybe posting on my other platforms. I will take this time to focus on growing. I will learn and change in this time of rest and recovery. I wish I didn’t and I wish that others didn’t have to make a post like that about me. I never wanted my past conversations used or shown to the public. I wish I could have seen where I was wrong. I’m sorry for all of this.

[mbti-notes]

I chose a scientific related uni because of people's advices. They used to tell me I was so smart I could do anything and this particular uni would give me great job opportunities. I had no idea what to do anyway, so I went for it. What I was mostly happy about was the fresh start and the possibility to make new friends. In this, I succeded, but with exams I had a lot of difficulties. Science is based on logic, which is something I found out I can't use very well. All my friends could - they[..]

[con’t: have been passionate about science for their whole life - and I started developing an inferiority complex. All my interests looked useless now since nobody could relate and I slowly lost all of them, forced myself to replace them with new ones. Everyone around me was referencing different things, valuing different abilities, and I really liked them and wanted to be their friend. I wanted to understand them. With time, I became obsessed with passing exams and getting every single detail  right. I wanted to prove them (and myself) that I wasn’t stupid like they thought, that I could be brilliant in science as well. But everyday I was changing and becoming a parody of myself, losing my energy, motivation, happiness, imagination. Eventually I lost all of my friends (for different reasons though) and stopped going to uni, still studying to pass exams - but on my own. Since I was alone, I started going out with my boyfriend (I met him at uni) more: everytime we were together I would notice how good he was at science and how many things he knew, how enthusiastic he could be about the world around him e all the abilities (math, logic and even things that were not related to uni) he had that I didn’t have. I started hating him. I forced myself to study and be better, but not without crying and feeling inferior at his every word. Months passed and I was more and more convinced I was stupid. Even if my boyfriend was so good, though, he was thinking of leaving uni. I did something really bad, that I’m still ashamed of: I encouraged him to leave. I think it’s because I didn’t want him to continue studying and get even better than he was at the time. I wanted a chance to surpass him. I feared people talking to us and judging me as the “stupid one” and him as the “brilliant one”. After some time, though, he was changing his mind again and wanted to stay, but I insisted and asked him to PLEASE go somewhere else. I was crying, shouting,so desperate and depressed for how stupid I thought I was that he accepted just to stop my suffering. He changed school, but it’s so clear he doesn’t like it. He forces himself to study, but has lost motivation. I’m studying just when I need to, not trying to be brilliant anymore, waiting for uni to end (just a bunch of exams and it’ll be over). I’m still stressed, but now because I’m angry at myself for what I did. I was selfish and did not only ruin my boyfriend’s career, but my entire life. I feel like I don’t have passions anymore, or a sense of humor, or even the ability to have fun. I never have anything to say, I don’t like anything, I try to get interested to old stuff but it’s for “stupid people” now - at least, according to my mind. After all this time even my boyfriend has become depressed. I no longer see the enthusiasm he used to have, he’s always sad and bored and hates his life. He’s too afraid to come back to my uni, he says it’s better this way and he doesn’t want me to feel inferior again. He’s seeing a psychologist and I’ll probably join him soon, but I’m so afraid… I’m sure they’ll tell me it’s all my fault, that I need to accept I’m stupid and inferior if compared to him and change uni. Being good at this is my dream now… how do I stop screwing things up? How do I solve them? Is there a way? Will I feel inferior to him for anything he does FOREVER? I miss the old days when we used to laugh together, with no comparison ever… now we don’t even know what to tell each other. I know it’s all my fault. I don’t know what’s gotten into me. I wish I could change the past, but I can’t. I just wanted people to like me as much as they liked him. I wanted to stop feeling like I was the stupid one. Please, don’t judge me. I’m already doing negative self-talking everyday. Thanks if you will answer. (INFP)]

I have already addressed similar questions before: mbti-notes.tumblr.com/post/189237158737. You are in extreme Te grip, please read the tags and study guides about how to get out of inferior grip, there’s already plenty of information and I don’t want to waste time repeating it. 

I’m not here to judge anyone, I frankly don’t care enough to judge. You judge yourself harshly and this extends into fearing judgment from others. You’ve gotten yourself into quite a mess because you did not respect yourself and your feelings at the start. How can you feel good about yourself when you keep disrespecting yourself? How can you treat others well when you don’t even know how to treat yourself well? You kept trying to force yourself into a situation in which you clearly did not belong, and your insecurities have become so large as to hurt the ones you purport to love. 

The only way out is to properly reckon with your bad choices and correct/ameliorate the things you have done wrong. Until you do that, you will suffer from constant guilt and self-hatred that will impede any efforts to better your life via Ne development. Mistakes haunt you until you atone for them - you need proper closure to move forward. You should start with your boyfriend, because he is the person that you have hurt most other than yourself. Be completely honest with him about what you have done to him, as you explained it to me. It doesn’t matter what he decides to do so long as you take responsibility for the pain you have inflicted upon him. Be a mature adult. Confess fully and apologize sincerely. Let him decide what to do with his life. Stop trying to influence him, you have proven that you are incapable of caring for him, so give him space to engage in proper self-care. 

With regard to academics, you’ve stubbornly stuck it out this long so you probably feel like you should finish. It is your choice as to whether you would like to finish or switch tracks - I cannot say anything about that. The only thing I can tell you is that Fi doms will never feel satisfied as long as they are doing something they don’t believe in and aren’t passionate about. If you truly care about yourself and want to get your life back in order, then you need to spend time actually caring for yourself and exploring what it is you want to do properly (instead of trying to force yourself into a career like a square peg into a round hole, just because someone somewhere suggested it long ago). 

What other people do is irrelevant. This is your life to live as you see fit. Even if you manage to finish your degree, do you really think that this career path is the path to genuine fulfillment in YOUR life? If not, then correct course for the sake of your psychological well-being. If it is, then you need to get a better perspective on it because you seem to suffer from debilitating perfectionism that is only going to leave you in self-hatred. Until you engage in proper self-care, you are going to keep suffering from insecurity. I strongly recommend that you get professional help for serious self-esteem problems and inferiority complex. I have already recommended books on the resources list about self-esteem, self-confidence, and self-compassion.

You can get advice from anyone anywhere about what to do, it won’t matter until you step up and take responsibility for your decisions. Changing your life is actually as simple as making your decisions differently (which requires exercising Ne and envisioning better possibilities). If you don’t change how you make decisions, then your default mode is to make the same mistake again and again in an endless loop. The choice is yours. It’s your life and you are the one who is responsible for making the change. 

Think on what kind of person you want to be and work to be it. You keep trying to be a person who is not you, and then you wonder why you’re unhappy? You cannot find happiness in self-violence. A person who is truly “worthy” is a person who nurtures their virtue and contributes something positive and beneficial to the world around them. You have to make the choice to be good and do better. You have to understand that the choices you have been making consistently lead you into being your worst self, which completely undermines your underlying intention to be better. You have tried hard to excel, I applaud that, but your energy would be better spent to nurture your character rather than your skills at this point. No matter what technical skills or knowledge you have, a bad moral character will never allow you to use them properly, will it?

[just-some-random-blogger]

Wheel Of Fortune

EXO Park Chanyeol x Reader + others Characters: EXO Summary:  Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. Chanyeol was head over heels for you but he was 100% in denial that you liked Kyungsoo. Word Count: 1k+ Warnings: CRACK FOOL. RUN IF YOURE NOT HERE FOR THAT, jealousy, bottled emotions, fluff ending, etc.

A/N: this was TOO FLUFFY tbh. i wanted to hurt myself but it turned into fluff but oh well

let’s start at the beginning

your parents were introduced by mutual friends and started talking on the phone

okay kidding that’s too far

right

so you worked at SM

and is the maknae of a seven member coed group that debut a year after BigBang and a year before SHINee

(so 2007)

which considering the fact you were younger than Sehun by a couple of months meant you debuted at 10

just roll with it cos ITZ MY VERY SPECIFIC PLOT DMMIT

wheLP

the members were all exactly one year apart and the members from eldest to youngest,, the sequence was a guy (@ 30 yrs old), a girl (29), a guy (28), a girl (27), a guy (26), a guy (25), then you (24).

I KNOW I DONT NEED THIS BUT THIS IS HOW I IMAGINED THIS PLOT IT DMMIT

ok

since you were basically a sunbae at SM even tho u were a smol child you wanted to show your support to your hoobaes

So a day before their debut as a whole group, you, along with the eldest member of your group, who was the leader, visited EXO in the dance studio and gave moral support

You were A BIG FAN and it showed

not that you were hiding it in the first place

your leader was HIGH KEY embarrassed by you, but low key thought it was kinda cute how excited you were for this song

so dUH EXO dances growl for you

anD YOU NEARLY SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUST BECAUSE OF HOW PERFECT EVERYTHING WAS

Luhan’s voice

Baekhyun’s attitude

Sehun’s resting bitch face

eeeerrrrrthing

YOU WERE ON THE FLOOR SCREAMING 

literally

and Junmyeon thought you were adOrAbLE

“I think she malfunctioned,” your leader gave a face and pushed you on the shoulder to see if you were still breathing as you let out a silent scream

“CAN YOU GUYS DO IT ONE MORE TIME”

????? 

Jongin was too out of breath to fight you

but lol u know what

they did dance again for you

BECAUSE YALL HAD THE CUTEST LIL FACE AND YOU WERE LIKE 16 SO

after that your band and exo were pretty much in one group 

like hella tight 

you were bsicly conjoined twinss

You could be at an award show and your table would be abandoned because you decided to sit with exo or vice versa

HYPING EACH OTHER WAS NOT EVEN HYPE ANYMORE BECAUSE IT WAS LIKE YOU GUYS WERE RABID OR SOMETHING WTF 

!!!!CALM!!!!!DOWN!!!!

like you + your group to them:

“thtAS MY CHILd!”

“DID YOU SEE YIXING AND HIS HIPS FUCK YOU BITCH!”

“HE WAS RUDE. THAT WAS RUDE. THAT’S NOT ALLOWED”

“GET OFF THE STAGE SLUT”

“WWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP BITCH!”

“~~~that was sooooooo sOFYT”

“CHEN STFU! YOU NEED TO STOP USING THAT DAMN VOICE OF YOURS JONGDAE. THATS ILLEEEEEGAL!”

“myY HERT!”

“OPPA *cries in korean* PLESS!”

“WHAT IS THIS FUCKERY!!!!!?“

‘iN fRonT oF MY sALaD”

“PA$$ THE H01Y W4T3R”

“NO KAI. BAD KAI. STTOOOOPPPP.”

you @ baekyun

baekyun @ you

thIS IS A CHANYEOL HEADCANON BUT I LOOK AT THIS FUCKIN MORON WHO I HATE SO MUCH SOMEONE SAVE HIM FROM HIS IDIOCY

them to you + your group:

“first of all fuck, second FUCK”

“wh-- whT WHAS THAT HIP MOVEMENT. U ARE 4 YRS OLD”

“HE did t h a t.”

“NOOOOOONNNNNNNNNAAAAA ch0k3 me”

“I CANT HEAR YOU OVER U BEING SUCH A HOE”

“i cant beLIEVE THIS STADIUM IS SO QUIET” *ears are actually bleeding*

“NOt TODaY S4T4N”

“I DIDNT ASK FOR THIS”

“how does this have 300M views????? ONLY 300M I--”

“GAAAAAHHHHH WHAT WAS THAT MOVE WHT WAS IT”

“my soul has been touched”

“this is TOOOOOOOO much ma lord”

“DID YOU JUST RIP YOUR SHIRT OFF?“

“TAKE YOUR SHIRT OFF!”

“ASDFRTYUJM ive been shot”

ya dig

it’s not verbal abuse if they can’t hear you cause of the bass and the fact your on stage performing

but like

you guys did everything together

practiced

ate

shopped

toured

pranked

T O G E T H E R

like who else in SM mattered

SHINee who?

JK YOUWERE A SHAWOL THROUGH AND THROUGH

you reassure Minho everytime unless you wanted to die that day

YOu EVEN FANGIRLED OVER TAEMIN’s MOVE WITH MINSEOK

BUT YOU OBVI you had MORE THAN ENOUGH ROOM TO BE AN EXO-L and an elf and a cassie and a so-won and DONT FOrget a vip and a---

you get the point

ANYWAY

as you were close with everyone you had a special bond with every individual

YALL STILL TEXT WITH YA BOY KRIS

yOU WENT ON A SHOW IN CHINA WITH LUHAN

TAO LEAVES PUKE COMMENTS ON YOUR INSTA POSTS

my ot12

and as much as you say you are equally close with everyone

errbody knows that be bull the size of russia

yall caNNOT dENy that you and chanyeol have the same crack powder on your philtrums

LIKE KYUNGSOO CANNOT LIVE WHEN YOU TWO ARE TOGETHER

LET HIM LIVEEEEEE

this moment must never die

ya boy be mindin his own business then

BAM BITCH

you and chanyeol be makin D.O. cray af

rest assured he HAS thought of how he’d kill both of you

ANd that’s why chanyeol loves you

like he decided he liked you the moment you lost your breath laughing when he threw a rubber duck at Kyunggsoo’s head, making it squeak in the most demented way no one thought possible

but he knew he loved you when you helped him lighten up on one of his dark days

you had that kind of effect on people

i mean all you did was sit down with him, both of your backs leaned up against each other’s, head occasionally leaning against the other’s head or shoulder, and played some nothings on the guitar and ukulele

but that was more than enough

you were there with him

and that’s what mattered

But literally the moment he accepted his feelings for you

he began to notice something he felt 100000% dumb for not seeing before

the way you laugh when Kyungsoo says a lame-ass joke

the way you always hug him from behind

you did that with literally everyone you were close with sure, 

but Chanyeol noticed you did it with him more 

and he 3

there was also the way you were just always winding up next to Soo when he was around, like he had some sort of magnet on him

and how you just liked poking his cheeks, begging him to show his dimples

which were really faint like gurl--

chANYEOL HAD DIMPLES TOO

CHANYEOL HAS DIMPLES

why daheq did you like his close to nonexistent ones?????????

????????

okay you liked poking Lay’s dimples more

look at my boy, who i love with burning passion ANDWILL DESTROY SM FOR BECAUSE HE JUST WANTS TO BE WITH HIS BAND SM SM SM!!!!! CHINA KOREA POLITICS FK ALL YALL

and suho

and chen

anD FINE--

yeah you did poke his too

literally anyone who remotely has dimples tbh

BT WHY KYUNGSOO

ads;ajsd;lasjdkas #jelly

so chanyeol decides to ask someone about it

so he obviously goes to his wisest hyung

but the day he  wants to talk to Suho, YOU WERE ON A DATE WITH HIM

like a date but not a date date he could tell

BUT A DATE NONETHELESS AND HE WAS KINDA JELLY

so he goes to Baekhyun for some fucking reason

and he’s like “omg u like her i couLDnt FUCKING TELL FROM ALL THE HEARTS IN TH AIR”

instant regret

but like Baek did give him some advice

like 5% was advice

the other 99% was him screaming to just be a man and tell her

so chanyeol is like, “STFU.... also she likes kyungsoo so fml”

and for a hot second Baekhyun has nothing to say

BAEKHYUN HAS NOTHING TO SAY

“idek dude. this is why i flirted with her openly”

Chanyeol punched him for saying that

but he decides he’s going to tell you after like 231109 years

cos Jongdae said you don’t like Kyungsoo and that he’s sure of it

Chanyeol asked how he was sure and he was just all like

“she had a crush on Sungmin hyung before and DID NOT act like that at all.”

That made Chanyeol a lot more hopeful

So he just went for it

and asked if you wanted to get lunch

and then after eating, you guys walked back

and he just sort of blurted it out

“Joahaeyo.”

you just looked at him and chuckled, “Thank you. I like you too, Yeolie.”

bitch are you for real rn

before Chanyeol could clarify, your walking slowed, “I’ve known for a while now.”

ok

wait

w h a t

“Minseok oppa told me.”

?????????? uhm HOW DID HE KNOW

Chanyeol’s hands were waterfalls atm, “Why did he tell you?”

Your face starts burning red and chanyeol cant help but think of it as a bad sign

“I told him I liked him...”

“... and he said he can’t reciprocate because he knows you like me, and that he can’t do that to his dongsaeng.”

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah 

cool story bro

you liked someone in EXO that was NOT him

cool cool cool

I GUESS CHEN WAS RIGHT 

THANKS

wait did that mean chanyeol was this obvious

wait did that mean chanyeol ruined your chances with his hyung

wait was this why you cried that one time

WaiT WAS THIS WHY YOU HUNG AROUND KYUNGSOO

BECAUSE WHENEVER MINSEOK WAS IN THE ROOM, YOU WOULD GET KINDA STIFF AT A POINT AND KYUNGSOO MAKE A JOKE TO MAKE YOU LAUGH

WASTHIS WHY YOU TWO HUNG OUT MORE

WHY HADN’T HE NOTICED

AND IF EVERYONE ELSE DID

WHY DIDNT THEY TELL HIM

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 Chanyeol frowned and called out your name, proceeding to apologize

“Wae? why are you sorry? did you tell minseok to say that to me?“

he couldn’t feel mushy and weird at what you said

“YA dont tell me youre going to be weird around me too. It’s bad enough Minseok oppa distanced himself a bit.”

Chanyeol couldn’t help but be angry, sad, protective, and annoyed all at once at what you just admitted to him

“I’ll tell him to stop.”

You pouted, “you don’t have to tell anyone anything, chanyeol.”

“yes but you don’t deserve to feel awkward around anyone.”

“yes but that was minseok oppa’s choice.”

“yes but he was only doing that because he’s my hyung and he’s dumb.”

“yes but-- 

OU KNOW WHAT WHY DONT WE ALL JUST BE AWKWARD AROUND EACH OTHER”

and so you walked forward fast and tried to ignore chanyeol

Chanyeol, with his freakishly long legs caught up with you though

he caught your arm

“What tf are you doing?“

“Ew dont talk to me its awkward. im awkward. your awkward.”

Chanyeol laughed. “yaaaaa, why do i like you?

“THAT’S WHAT IM THINKING HO”