#i need a new tag for personal talk
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aro in a "cant feel a difference between friendships and romance" way
ace in a "too trans and dysphoric to even think about sex with another human person" way
#fr tho i was dating my ex bf for four years and it felt like a friendship with extra actions unlocked the whole time#aro#ace#aroace#slippery slimey#asexual#aromantic#thats why im queer aroacespec#back to the bf he was also ace so sex was always off the table but we barely even kissed#not that i minded i dont like kissing#i need a new tag for personal talk#lore lore lore#there we go#i wont remember it tho
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i thought i was at my lowest but holy shit it gets lower
#woke up feeling more lost and out of touch with myself.. my surroundings and my partner all in the span of a night.. what the hell..#i really need a new therapist. specifically a dbt therapist but i have really weird health insurance so there's not many options..#i just really need someone that i feel open enough to talk to about anything and that will actually help me and not just use the dumbass#worn out therapist lines..#bpd shitposting#actually bpd#actually mentally ill#bpd#actually borderline#bpd vent#bpd fp#bpd favorite person#bpd mood#bpd problems#sorry 4 the long rant in tags :/
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STOP I'm thinking about the part in Gravity Falls where Stan shows up with freshly bought (stolen) light bulbs only to see Ford screwing a new one in surrounded by family.
And OH my GOD. AGH.
Stan gets a little (ir)rationally upset about this because... It's.. Guys,,,
Stan perceives it as Ford once again easily receiving the praise and love of their family when he had to fight tooth and nail to receive even half of it.... I'm not well ✋😔
#listen I might be too deep in the fandom space and i might actually be mischaracterizing them completely#I'm not saying that Dipper and Mabel don't appreciate and love Stan because they definitely do!!#I'm saying Stan is seeing Ford reintegrate into their new family and he's seeing him do it. so. easily.#So easily When Stan had to PRETEND to be FORD to get even a chance to be a part of their family again#Stan FOUGHT to be a part of this family#and Ford just gets to slide in and... just. be a part of it.#and i mean duh but also... man Idk#Stan had to pretend to be Ford to get even a smidgen of a foothold to be able to even just... interact with his family#Stan's a family man that HAS to look out for everyone but Ford's just.. family. He gets to just... be a part of them with no real obligatio#And I'm not saying Ford doesn't love his family I'm saying he's very repressed and bad at showing it sometimes#It's just that... Stan fought SO hard to be a part of his family. THIS family. That is all he has EVER wanted#and FORD- who had it and took it all for GRANTED- gets to waltz back in and just.... take it for granted AGAIN#hang on guys i think I'm starting to take this a little personally i need to calm down wow#Okay.... I think I'm good#But you get where I'm coming from#cole's talking#gravity falls#grunkle stan#stanley pines#grunkle ford#ford pines#stangst#stan twins#These tags really got away from me huh#Ahem-- all that to say I think Stan's vague resentment in that scene is valid!!
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Tim's First Pride! 🌈 ✨
I think he would be a little uncomfortable in the beginning, but he'd be very glad he went!!
Bonus sketch of a post-Pride Tim featuring his sister, Josephine, who pushed him to attend in the first place (and another sketch of accidentally bumping into a familiar face):
#artists on tumblr#pride month#happy pride month#queer art#lgbt#my draws#sfw#she probably convinced him to wear as many colorful things as he has on rn too hIOLKJFD she just! really wants Tim to feel himself!!#maybe he even gets a number or two. or declines a number or two. he's still new to being gay in his mid-40s. he's figuring it out.#(Ratman is probably buzzing around inside seeing all the free candy getting thrown on the ground. I'm DEFINITELY not speaking from#personal experience of attending a pride parade. and scavenging for candy all over the ground............ Anyways-)#also hi people who followed me from my cap'n art!! this is one of my main fave guys! You will see him a lot! He has a rat in him! :)#the other guy in the third sketch is also a fave but I don't talk about him NEARLY as much as I need to!!#tim tag#josephine tag#jesse tag#amanda tag
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LSTR-S2301 and the maintenance tunnel ARAR are best friends to me even though that Elster was only on sierpinski for a seemingly brief time, they’re bros who fuck around on the clock during work. I think Elster was probably more willing to put extra time in however she’s also very “okay you’ve given me a list of tasks I did them. They’re done and done well. That’s it, my time now.” Whereas I see Ara being more of a slacker (very valid of her) or at the very least just a bare minimum type of gal when it comes to work.
Idk I tend to imagine them fucking off in the middle of shifts to go find weird lonely corners of sierpinski to hang out in. They don’t even talk half the time but they love it.
#listen I know sierpinski Elster has Alina as her lover#I don’t necessarily see Elster/ara as romantic although it could be#they’re just tired work bros to me#u have machine autism and plant autism and they’re both silent types I think they’d click#I’ve seen some fun takes on Lilith and Elster as characters too#to me Lilith Itou is definitely the strong silent type but not bc she always means to be#yes she is an intimidating war veteran but I think part of that intimidation factor comes from her being awkward as hell when it comes#to talking#combo of awkward/ just being a woman of few words anyway#which comes through in LSTRs I think#they don’t say much when they don’t feel that they need to ig#anyway idk if this makes sense I’m just rambling#I was also just trying to think abt LSTR-S2301 bc poor thing#imagine being your own individual replika but you’re brought to this place as basically a sacrificial lamb? of sorts#in that you as you are. it’s not what you need to be for a god’s purpose#but it’s close enough that the parts that aren’t needed can be stripped away#and filled again#she was only ever meant to be a vessel for 512 in many ways#but she was still S2301 and had her own life and friends for a brief moment in time#signalis#this isn’t worded well but gets the tag regardless#I should make a rambles tag separate from my personal tag maybe#lynx rambles#<- new tag ig
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... anyone else have a cat that has to be tickling you on purpose at this point?
My cat has:
Walked behind me while dragging her tail across the back of my knees (frequently!)
Sniffed and licked my feet and toes
Sniffed and licked my neck
Walked past me until her tail lined up with my side and swished it
Walked on top of my ribs/sides/tummy and then just STOOD THERE
POKED MY SIDE/RIBS WITH HER PAW
And she was just sitting on the back of the couch behind me, and her tail dropped down and curled into my armpit. From behind. Like??? I swear she knows.
#ignore me I'm high and rambly lol#... but she does though#personal#... I need a new personal tag#talking me softly#... maybe
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riot making arcane the main canon is honestly the stupidest and most unnecessary move, its taken alot of enjoyment from the show for me bc now instead of seeing it as a really well made fanfiction that i can just sit back and enjoy the reinterpretations of without worry i keep thinking how whatever they do is gonna fuck with canon and how much is retconned bc of it
they didnt even finish the other, waht 10 year old now?, retcon and now they are doing it again?? what for?? literally nothing is gained from forcing it all into arcanes interpretation- even if they want to bring more characters the show made up into the game you can do that without having to make the show the center of everything; i might have stopped playign the game but i still care about some of the characters and stories, the lore and worldbuilding is what i enjoyed most of any league stuff, all of which is now on thin ice (granted, it has been since they started to fire their writers, but now even the work they did might not even stay), it hurts to see things you loved being thrown into the garbage for no reason, whatever time i spent thinking and caring about it essentially wasted, deemed that what i cared about didnt matter at all (hhhh similarly so with totk, what is it with these things happening to the few things i ever liked ......)
#ganondoodles talks#personal#arcane#league of legends#never thoguht id use these tags again ...#anyway ... its annoying#and it has severly impacted my enjoyment of the show....#when it wasnt canon i found the whole arcane hexcore thing an interesting idea#now??? what is it? is gonna retcon mages as a whole? is that the new void? whatever it is its gonna fcuk with existing stuff#i stopped caring about zelda lore bc of totk and now i guess i need to let go of leagues world too#old skarner and his lore already got thrown out the window- i hate the new him and the complete removal of hextechs og source too#good thing i never got as much into lols lore as i did with zelda#still it feels like im losing every last bit of things i ever liked#'fuck canon and do your own thing' can only get you so far and im tired ... im so tired
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I’m making a longer post about this chapter, but I thought these cheeky little parallels were silly. I know what you are Horikoshi.
Like ignore the togachako gay ass part of this… it’s the fact that Izuku is the one looking at her now and she isn’t looking back. Their friendship is so interesting y’all omg (not in a shipping way. Like in an unrequited love/unrequited friendship way. Like they do make me a little ill to think about bc wym by that this gayass can’t get it through his thick skull that this girl liked him for the longest time and doesn’t understand why she isn’t treating him in the not-platonic care way anymore. Like that’s crazy. Izuku bbg you are so interesting and so so silly)
#bkdk#togachako#I know y’all will appreciate this bc there’s a lot of new people in the tags rn talking about how they ‘know Izuocha will be canon BUT-‘ bbg#no#it’s alright you don’t have to worry that much okay#it’s very explicitly a totally different relationship that requires much more nuance than simply looking at them and saying ‘boy like girl’#this is a world about devious or disregarded or generally ‘bad’ people are seen as outcasts inherently#and it’s a story about how isolated minorities turn into genuinely dangerous people to be seen by those around them#that acceptance is NEEDED for a healthy society because bigotry has always and will always affect everyone within it#and I think half of the ways people are expecting Izuocha to get together in some capacity are jumping through a million hoops to get there#by both overly cautious BkDk shippers and by Izuocha fans themselves#if you need to jump through 40 million hoops for a ship to happen… and the gay one is very easy and has already been layed out…#then at the very least the straight one isnt going to happen. I’m either very sorry to tell you this if you wanted that or I’m very happy-#to tell you this if you did.#me personally y’all would think is an extra step above delusional bc I genuinely think they’ll be explicitly gay in the epilogue#but yk#that’s just me
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#oooohhh hell this generation is gonna be reeeeaaally rough on me. the textures on these models are Completely different from the 3ds#versions. and i do not!!! know how to do it!!!!#grookey#ANYWAY. welcome to generation eight!!! this generation will always hold a special place in my heart because it's the one that#reintroduced me to pokémon as a whole#i've talked about this multiple times in small references in the tags so i'm sure you all already know this but#when i was younger‚ i had a Passing interest in pokémon. didn't really need to play every new game or know every pokémon#but when i turned 18‚ on the SAME day pokémon sword & shield released‚ i ended up getting it for my birthday#mostly because my parents hadn't figured out what to get me for my birthday and heard that the new pokémon game came out the same day#which‚ now that i look it up‚ apparently it actually came out 5 days before my birthday. and i was just Told it came out that day#who knew. anyway‚ i got swsh for my 18th birthday. and i played the shit out of it. hyperfixation material#and that's what got me back into pokémon Properly. back into it as an Autism Special Interest type beat#and now it's stuck with me ever since. so swsh is probably always gonna be one of my favorite games in the series‚ and gen 8 one of#my favorite generations just because of what it means to me personally#gen 8 was also the last pmd game we ever got so .
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Husband just had me fighting for my life during sex it was incredible
#personal#my husband tag#i was feeling self-conscious about how i looked in this new shirt#i literally wept during this fuck#i am beside myself#i crawled across the bed and he chased me#talking all about how i need to let this dick make me cry?? like???#does anyone else cry immediately with intense g-spot attention? because 😮💨😮💨😮💨#mans just had me crying immediately from it#anyway…
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my favourite writing device is having an un-Rei-liable narrator
#rei#volo#cheren#// tikposting#// character meta#the crowd booes me off the stage#forgive the pun XDDD his name is too easy to pun on#the way i write it it's not a conscious choice. it's just how the pov character (rei) experiences and contextualises the world#revealing backstory and personality and mindset through narration !!!!#not necessarily out of malice it's just. how he views things#interpreting new and foreign experiences through the lens of what came before...#conversations which read differently to different people.#in the context of rei that's stuff like unease around authority figures#always choosing his words carefully to project an image of competence (he has to be needed)#distrust and not taking things at face value but also paradoxically a fragile and nurtured sense of almost blind optimism#when it comes to friendships. like volo. (everyone turned on me when the sky turned red but it all resolved itself in the end didn't it?)#(what makes this different? / a lot of things. / i choose to believe)#volo [directly]: “i won't be stopped from my goal” rei thoughts: we can work with this!!!!#and everything with Arceus too and his divine blessings and a plan that will work out in the end#if Rei can just... figure out what part he's meant to play. interpreting events as a narrative hurtling towards some unknown conclusion#i am talking about rei here specifically but this writing device is so good in general#would be fun to try get inside volo's head. there's so much going on there i don't understand yet#quite fond of that one analysis post about how volo lacks emotional intelligence and sees relationships as transactions#not necessarily out of malice it's just how he views things. whether because of past experience or brain chemistry#also need to give a shout to cheren my guy who is an outsider pov who projects his own experiences onto new things so that he Understands#(an outsider to Hilbert and N's clash of truth and ideals. life changing experience and knowledge but felt just a little off to the left)#(the narrative repeated again with new heroes. all he can do is help them but it falls on their shoulders in the end)#(no wonder he tries to insert himself into Situations)#anyway tag ramble over feel free to also ramble to me about your takes XD#rei pokemon
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Sometimes I just start thinking about this moment - paired with Maddie's "I just think that maybe you're not sure of your own feelings yet. And if there's something that you need to tell Eddie, you will. Just, in your own time" - and then don't stop thinking about it.
Maybe I'm just reading into it but the way this moment moves. Eddie steps forward, Tommy steps up to exactly where Eddie was, Buck turns to look where Eddie was, doesn't find what he was looking for but still finds something good. It's not just ep 4 and 5 where the focus on Eddie blows me away, it's also this.
#i also have a lot of feelings about how interesting tommy is as a choice for this entire storyline#during both chim and hen begins he stand-in for the old guard and the barrier they both face#during bobby begins again he's a united front with chim and hen in a desire for actual change#and sal's firing is a sign of tommy's change too - sal refused to change and couldn't stay. tommy stayed until he left himself#and he needed to leave - needed something new - to finally accept himself and his sexuality#tommy's return to me - especially with the shift to the new network and everything surrounding that -#has always felt to me like an acknowledgement that things can change#the change in him from the old guard to an entirely different person always felt so significant to me#and this feels really significant too#that buck and his search for happiness throughout the last season has only one constant - the 118#tommy can offer a change to buck without affecting that stability#the way tommy talks about himself on the date feels like an acknowledgement of all of that#and this moment and maddie's intervention feel like an acknowledgement of something else entirely#and i may be a buddie girl but i'm thoroughly enjoying this ride (hopefully buck is too)#because i'm doing what maddie did - 'you'll tell eddie what you need to in your own time. tell me about the hot pilot'#because he wasn't unhappy to see hot pilot there instead. hot pilot good.#anyway look at this shot and tell me you don't see what i'm seeing#there was a lot of visual storytelling throughout this season i love it so much#911#911 abc#911 fox#9-1-1#911 meta#evan buckley#eddie diaz#tommy kinard#another fandom same old tag rambles
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explained to my newer roommate last night about what november means in the world of jules and she just sat there horrified that i'd choose to essentially write an essay a day for thirty days while the roommate i've had since last summer nodded gravely and expressed the most dread for my writing gremiln month ranting about "she doesn't eat she doesn't sleep i have to worry if she's been watered" with her head in her hands
#i personally found this very entertaining lol#jules talks (and talks)#fuck nano. i need a new tag for this time of year..#writing
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im actually really good at admitting when i dont know things its just that people keep talking to me about things that i know a lot about and am objectively correct on
#this is a cartoony exaduration of a very real sentiment#whoch is that im often told that i come off like i 'need to be right about everything'#but i have achived a place in my life where i recognize when i dont have all the info or perspective nessesary need to Listen#and that i dont have to have a strong opinon abt everything#and that admitting that i lack knowledge or opinion rather than masking that with false confidence is better in the long run#bc it dosent put you on defense - makes you more receptive to new information + perspectives + corrections#its just that people will try to tell me their opinions about lawn mowers and im not going to pretend like i dont know more than them#when i do. which happens to be all the time#never met a person whos done as much reaserch on lawns + lawn care industry and related issues such as sore machines#(small off road engines)#i know theyre out there but the chances of me finding them is small and i have yet to do so#and then people try and give me their opinions abt this subject and if THEY dont shut up and listen i go rabid#like i know when its my turn to shut up and listen but sometimes im right and OTHER people need to be shutting up and listening#but also even outside of that i tend to come off as harsh/agressive/judgmental even when relaying info that im not obsessive abt like lawns#its the autism. i just word things blunt and talk with flat affect and dont know how to soften the blow well when correcting people#or even just adding my own perspective + ideas to convo without intent of 'correcting' anyone#such is life i suppose#just so long as nobody tries to tell me lawns are ethical ill be fine#<- remembers when i made a post that accidently got attention abt this subject and melted down#bc the strangers on the internet dont understand that this is my WHOLE THINF#if you knew me in real life youd understand. its my passion#text#im putting this is the lawn tag actually#lawn posting
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I'm actually so obsessed with him it's not even funny if i'm not listening to a TikTok or music directly related to him I can't focus free me free me
This is @/cherubpuppet's OC for a object show [au? pitch? wip show? How do I categorize this] and I've been destroyed by the fact that ruler art is infinitely superior [and 10x longer] and i don't have a good enough grasp on lip gloss's personality to make fanfiction so I am frozen in "want make fanart but fanart takes effort :["
#also object shows are the new mlp community change my mind /ref#from what ive seen a very large part of the community is centered around death/gore or mature topics? it reminds me of the mlp infection au#that and smile hd and everybody keeps saying object shiws are kids shows - if kids are making this stuff then good for them /gen#every fandom has its toxic/proship/18+ side obviously but from my pov gen alpha needed something they coudl handle age appropriate extremes#with - its just alot harder to make compelling emotional angst/gore with newer ultra sanitized shows or w/ mascot horror#and like thats a whole nother tooic but its obvious to me younger kids have flocked to mascot horror so harshly because average kids tv is#much more afraid of tackling any big topics to the point that the ones that DO [bluey] immediately are pushed into front and center#but i mean i also rewatched a few episodes of the shows i grew up with and ngl i think we need shit like ren and stimpy and invader zim#i hate ren and stimpy and i didnt grow up with zim but i grew up with pbs kids shit and that shit looking back was hella boring i never#cared for any of the tv shows i saw aside from elmos world and even then i was hoping that something gorey would happen. at like 5 yrs old#im rambling anyway im not sure if im actually going to get into the os communitg but i AM horribly attached to tape to the point that its#maybe possibly becoming harmful to my mental health so im gonna stick around for him for like months#just know that if im not posting anything its because im obsessed with this guy#oh also DID/MALE SA REP LETS FUCKIN GOOO#I LOVE PSYCHOLOGY AND IVE HAD LIKE 4 FRIENDS WITH DID/OSDD I NEED MORE POSITIVE REP OF STIGMATIZED/COMPLEX DISORDERS !!!!!#art#tape dispenser#search for smos#talk talks#EDIT NO. NO DONT SAY IM THE ONLY PERSON ON TUMBLR WHO HAS USED THE SMOS TAG NO. OH MY GOD#PLEASE BEING OBSESSED WITH SOMEONE ELSES OC IS SO GARD DONT LEAVE ME ALONE DO I NEED TO BUILD THIS FANDOM FROM THE GROUND UP??? NOO
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A succubus and a demon! (The succubi don't have names but the demon is Kronos and the succubus is one of his bosses in Hell and he's not /fond/ of the succubi for many reasons but they all adore picking on him)
Also because I love them and like to point it out, the succubi act more as pleasure dealers in the sense of they offer up whatever a human wants most in exchange for their soul. It's rarely of a sexual nature since it's what they want MOST in life. And most people's ambitions are outside of a bedroom. (happy pride, asexuals are able to get affected by a succubus now without discrimination)
#my characters#did i make succubi in a plot that i could fall victim to as an asexual personally? yeah#kronos is just a petty lil baby with a younger brother who is very nice for a demon#kronos is responsible for being a dick to everyone in the plot and yet has the weirdest morals and its not fine#but hes gonna make that everyone elses problem not his#for instance he originally goes to earth bc a human has somehow just stolen all of the Devils attention and its annoying#why fixate on one human doomed to Hell just let the guy live and die then fixate#so he goes to kill the human but ends up saving the guy and then agonizes because even as a demon#its REALLY tacky to save someone and then kill them#so he doesnt kill him and instead demands to be a roommate until he returns to hell#and then they team up to kill demons and other creatures that seem obsessed with the human#and so they just kinda kill and banish demons back to hell and its fiiiine kronos is just causing problems for Hell#thats not even a new issue hes always doing that !#and then they meet a siren who refuses to talk and kronos is like oh time to be the biggest dick ever#and is like well if she wont talk and she needs a name i vote halibut#as a mean joke bc why would she want to be named after a fish#and she lights up and is SUPER happy and nods and beams and is so happy with her new name#and then the human is like well she needs more clothes than one outfit right#also shes barefoot and its cold i need to buy her shoes idk what tho#and kronos is like here buy her these rainboots and so the guy buys them and is like just wear these#until you can show me what you want bought ok and halibut is in love with her cute lil yellow rainboots#so basically everything kronos does out of spite to the weird mute siren (by choice) backfires#and she adores him and doesnt know hes trying to be mean to her#anyway the succubi collectively like to pick on the really silly and childish demons they outrank#like kronos! so he is constantly a target for them to mock which is why he isnt fond of them which fuels them more#the succubi are just really chill most of the time though ?#and its just. i love my succubi ok theyre wonderful#and that has been another story time in the tags bye
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