#... I need a new personal tag

[wonkyjaw]

Wedding quilt progress is going slow but sure. I’m a little concerned about math given how the shapes shift only half to the side each row. I suppose I’ll just keep some of the material extra and reserved so if I need to last minute add half a jewel it’ll be fine.

[gatoraid]

Year in Fandom 2023

Seeing people posting their recaps made me look back a little on my own year too. 

2023 marked the year I came back to tumblr with full force after leaving my account mostly unused for abt five years. Twitter was my fandom home for a long time (and for jp language stuff it still is to some extent), but it has become such an awful place I really wanted to have an alternative.

This year I also resumed a lot of fandom activities like writing and reading fanfic, from which I had unintentionally taken an almost three year break from. Finding the joy in writing and sharing it with others after a long time has been really nice, especially since a big part of this year has otherwise felt like a struggle. There were a lot of times when I needed escape or comfort and found that in fiction, fandom or writing.

I also made a conscious effort to lurk less and let artists and creators know how much joy they have brought me. Messaging the translators and authors of my fave stories, reaching out to artists via asks or making the conscious effort to comment on fanfics a lot more than I used to have all made me happier in the process too, so I really want to keep doing that in the new year too.

My biggest fandom obsession in 2023 was definitely The Radiant Emperor book series by Shelley Parker-Chan. Out of the five fics I published this year, three were for this fandom so I think that alone says a lot. I read She Who Became the Sun in March, and when He Who Drowned the World came out in August, I was ready to be blown away and haven’t recovered since. It’s still hard to articulate all the reasons why these books spoke to me so deeply, but I’ll just accept that this is my life now. 

I think I’ve been almost equally blown away by how much fun I’ve had in the Radiant Emperor fandom. It’s been so inspiring to see all the beautiful fanworks and reactions to them from the small but dedicated crowd, and to be able to discuss and build upon each others’ meta and headcanons. Whether we’re mutuals or have exchanged thoughts via comments, tags or dm’s, I really look forward to obsessing over these books and characters together in 2024 too!

Shoutout to the other fandom-related things that also kept me sane in 2023: Loumand Paris romance, all the fics I read about Lee Yut-Lung, and playing and analyzing Love Shore.

[elizbit]

Excited to take my new, higher dose of quetiapine tonight and immediately pass out

normally meds that affect sleep have no effect on me but a dose increase of quetiapine is the one exception (when I’ve been on the same dose for a while instead I just am unable to sleep without it, but taking it doesn’t cause me drowsiness)

this is exactly what I expected from this psych appt and which is exactly why I pushed it three weeks early but I am somehow simultaneously like “ugh, why, ew” as though I did not literally bring this upon myself.

[gasmeros]

Get to know you tag game! tagged by @transboyzuko !! hello :3 hope your trip to america is going well so far! if you're still in america. idk, dont expect me to process the advancement of time

Answer the questions and then leave a question for your tagger.

1. Last Song: idk ive got the animal crossing new leaf island song stuck in my head agdnhfd

2. Favorite Color: blue and green!! but not blue-green

3. Currently watching: kitchen nightmares reruns ._. this last week was a lot and the angry british man calms me down

4. Sweet/Spicy/Savory: savory! sweet can feel repetative, and spicy hurts and im a whimp

5. Relationship Status: Single by choice. i mean i would marry a friend if they wanted but i am aro/ace

6. Current Obsession: Atla! i can feel it altering my personality at this point

7. Last Thing Googled: "dark soy sauce vs black soy sauce." i was lookin on the wrong shelf and kept finding black instead of dark, and i needed to know if i could swap em out. i could not.

question for transboyzuko:

8. if you were a horse, would you want thin little dexterous hooves or strong clonky ones? i was gonna ask as zukka question cuz that seems much more relevant to your interests, but the aro/ace obliviousness struck,,,, what,, kind of hooves would zukka want...?

thanks again for the tag!! welcome to the tag game deadend :)

[thetheatregang]

I know this is all I talk about lately, but I’m really nervous to send my pilot to my close friends or even literally tell them I wrote it? Like I think it’s good enough for people to read it. Does anyone wanna know what it’s about? Maybe I’ll post a little synopsis if people wanna hear about it.

[ajemmys]

a week ago i decided to start jogging regularly (there is a nice little nature trail not far from my place) and today right in the middle of the path i found an almost-full pack of cigarettes. which was very funny to me. the universe really saw me exercising and trying to get healthier and self-improve for once in my life and said "you should take up smoking"

[noxneedstherapy]

i have to date someone as viscerally insane as me so we cancel each other out and we become. normal.

[honeypleasejustkillme]

i thought i was at my lowest but holy shit it gets lower

[king-direwolf]

When it comes to art and creating stuff in general, I very much WANT to be a self indulgent motherfucker. I WANT to create things for no one but me and put it out into the world. I want to just put all of myself into what I make and not care what anyone thinks of it.

But I'm tired. So fucking tired all the time. I don't have the energy to put into making things for myself. Art and stories that only I care about. My brain and body won't let me.

I wish so hard that I could take the advice that I love seeing. I love seeing people telling other artists to just make what makes you happy. Make what you want to see. I can't make the art I want to see, and it kills me.

[inkskinned]

he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.

except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?

at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.

except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.

about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.

he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.

[wonkyjaw]

I now have two finished quilt tops I need to find the space to baste. This one took like a week in my spare time (I made it out of charm packs).

[consultingfujoshi]

irv not going back to o&d after burt retired. irv being scared to go back there. helly holding irv's hand and telling him they're behind him. irv seeing the painting that convinced him it was OK to be in love with burt and being hit with an entirely new wave of mourning for what he has lost. irv immediately being greeted with warmth and kindness from felicia. irv receiving the second hug of his life from a friend of burt who immediately sees the pain in his eyes. irv and felicia laughing together over stories of burt. irv feeling real happiness and comfort for the first time since he lost burt with one of his friends and finally having someone to share in his grief with. irv finding community, real community, through mutual connection and love for another that can finally replace the hollow form of belonging he found in his cult brainwashing. irv being told that he really did mean something to burt. irv drawing a picture of burt every single day he couldn't see him. irv's workload going to shit because he was grieving so hard and he couldn't find it in him to care about anything else. irv still using art to express his desire and devotion, first as a means of justifying his feelings, then as a way of processing them. irv finding answers to his personal mystery completely by accident because he opened up his heart to someone else. irv's love for burt literally being what is fuelling him and carrying him, because he finally has somewhere to put it again. irv you are everything to me

[what-am-i-doing-in-this-fandom]

STOP I'm thinking about the part in Gravity Falls where Stan shows up with freshly bought (stolen) light bulbs only to see Ford screwing a new one in surrounded by family.

And OH my GOD. AGH.

Stan gets a little (ir)rationally upset about this because... It's.. Guys,,,

Stan perceives it as Ford once again easily receiving the praise and love of their family when he had to fight tooth and nail to receive even half of it.... I'm not well ✋😔

[shalom-iamcominghome]

POV: you block antisemites on this site

[raiiny-bay]

some WIPs from the 80s AU i never finished

[thetheatregang]

I feel like I only get on tumblr these days to scream into the void about my pilot script, but I just am simply too hyper fixated on it at the moment and it’s all I can talk about, anyway, I’m on my third round of edits and I literally am adding a whole new scene oops