#i miss the food and my friends and my family

[hockeyboistrash]

operation get luke a girlfriend | l.h

summary: jack is tired of watching his brother pine over his best friend so he takes matters into his own hands to get you both to admit your feelings for each other. His plan, however, goes horribly wrong.

this idea popped into my and had to write it. I've never written for Luke so I hope I've done it justice. this one has been cooking for a while so I hope you enjoy. This is basically 4.2k words of best friends to lovers.

@star2fishmeg this one's for you 💖

You and Luke were best friends. You would do anything for each other. It could be after midnight but you would still pick Luke up after a roadie. Luke would ditch a game of Chel with his brothers if you were having a bad day, bringing you your favourite food and movies. Whenever asked about it the same three words would be spoken. ‘We’re just friends.’ No one was convinced though, especially Jack. Watching his younger brother pine after his best friend was painful to watch. He wanted nothing more than his brother to be happy. You brought him out of his shell. Luke was quite reserved around people unless you were his family so Jack and Quinn were surprised when he said more than two words to you the first time you met.

It didn’t faze Jack that Luke was dressed up to go to a party, only smirking at him as he got his stuff together. He saw the way your eyes lit up when Luke agreed to go to your party and how his brother bit his lip to try and hide his smile after you hugged him. It was obvious there was something more between the two of you and Jack hoped tonight one of you admits it. 

Luke wasn’t normally one for parties and he has a game tomorrow but when you invited him he couldn’t say no. The party playlist you curated was playing as he slipped into your apartment. It didn’t take long before he heard his name being called from across the room. “Luke! You came!” You shouted, flinging your arms around him while Luke wrapped his arms around your waist instinctively. 

“Of course I came. You asked me to come.” He mumbled, loud enough so only you could hear him. Luke was glad you couldn’t see his face, heat rising to his cheeks. 

“Well I appreciate it.” You told him, your lips tugging into a grin. “Let’s get you a drink.” You said, grabbing his hand and pulling him to the makeshift drinks table. Luke looked down at your intertwined fingers, liking the way it felt. He knew he shouldn’t though because you’re his best friend. Best friends aren’t supposed to miss the feeling of your hand in his when you let go. Luke missed the warmth of your hand in his cold one. He could shove them in his pocket to try and warm them up but he preferred the alternative, holding your hand. “Earth to Luke.” You waved your hand in front of his face, giggling as you brought him out of his inner spiral. 

“Yes. Sorry. Thank you.” Luke stuttered out. 

“Is everything okay?” You asked, eyebrows tugged into a slight frown, worried about him as he was a little distracted. 

“Everything's fine.” He told you, trying to cover up the fact he was thinking about holding your hand again. You weren't convinced though. You've known Luke for a couple of years now and you knew when he wasn't being entirely honest with you. You also know he likes to downplay everything. 

“I know it's easier said than done but you don't have to worry about tomorrow. You're going to defend like hell out there and win.” You said, giving his forearm a comforting squeeze. Luke loves your positivity. It's contagious and never fails to make him feel better. He knows that there's no way the team will win every game but you still tell him he will and he still goes onto the ice with a pep in his step. “Maybe you'll even score a goal.” You winked, your laugh was music to Luke's ears. He could kiss you right now. He wanted to kiss you but there's no way you felt the same about him so he buried those thoughts deep in his mind. He would rather bury his feelings than risk losing his best friend.

Your name was shouted from across the room before Luke could think of a witty comeback. You grabbed his hand and started dragging him with you. Luke’s eyes widened seeing the karaoke set up. “Not gonna happen.” Luke said, shaking his head vehemently. 

“Relax Luke, I wasn’t going to make you sing. I just- This is going to sound dumb.” You started, biting your lip slightly. “Basically I kinda agreed to sing one song on the karaoke machine with Maria but now I’m nervous and, I don’t know, I thought having you there would make it not as bad. It’s dumb I know.” You rambled. 

“It’s not dumb.” Luke mumbled. He was taken aback by your admission. You were one of the most confident people he knew. “I’ll be standing right here, cheering you on.” 

You grinned, thanking him before going over to your friend. She handed you a microphone as the start of the song began playing. Your eyes twinkled as they found Luke in the small crowd of your friends that was gathering. To him, it felt like it was just the two of you in the room. He was so engrossed in your performance that he didn’t notice he wasn’t the only one watching you intently until someone nudged him, his drink spilling over his hand. “They’re amazing aren’t they?” They shouted over the music, gesturing to you at the front of the room. Luke couldn’t quite put his finger on it but there was something about this guy that made his skin crawl. He grunted in agreement hoping he got the hint that he wanted to be left alone until you came back over. He didn’t.

Luke didn’t even get a chance to greet you before the guy next to him did. He didn’t remember you mentioning anything about a new guy in your life. You told each other everything. Your new friends, any potential boyfriends or girlfriends, anything that is going on in your lifes so he was confused when you greeted him. “Luke this is Scott, Scott this is my friend Luke.” 

‘Friend’ That stung a little. Luke wasn’t sure why though because it was true, you are friends yet hearing you introduce him to some guy, who you may or may not be hooking up with, as a friend caused an unfamiliar feeling to bubble inside. 

“I’m gonna head out.” Luke mumbled, leaning down so only you could hear him. He wasn’t in the mood to third wheel which is what it felt like to him. Luke only knew you and your roommate at this party and only came for you. 

“Oh, okay. Let me walk you out.” You said trying to hide the disappointment in your tone. You made the short walk to the front door, handing Luke his coat. “Thank you again for coming. I know you have a game tomorrow so it means a lot that you came.” 

“Of course I came. You asked me to come.” Luke shrugged. He could add so much more, he wanted to in fact yet there was something holding him back, maybe it was the rational side of his brain that knew if he continued speaking it would change everything. He wanted to tell you that he knew coming would make you smile and he loves your smile. He wanted to tell you that he misses you when he’s gone, wanting to spend all the time he could with you. 

“Well, I’ll be there tomorrow night, front row wearing number forty-three.” You told him, your lips turned up into a smile. It was contagious causing Luke’s to do the same. He loved when you wore his jersey. 

“See you tomorrow.” Luke said, giving you a quick hug. You didn’t let go though, leaning up to give him a kiss on the cheek. 

“See you tomorrow, Luke.” You said, turning quickly to the door and heading back inside the party. 

Luke stayed frozen in the hall, staring ahead. He didn’t miss the way Scott was watching the two of you. He must have watched you kiss Luke. You kissed Luke. On the cheek. Something neither of you have done before. The most you have done was hug each other but never kissed. Luke was glad you went back inside so you couldn’t see the blush creeping onto his cheeks. 

Luke wasn’t exactly sure how he made it back to his and Jack’s apartment but he did. It was like he was on autopilot. Locking the door behind him. Slipping his shoes off and hanging his coat up. “Luke?! Is that you?! You’re back early.” Jack called from his spot on the couch where Luke left him earlier in the evening. 

“Y/N kissed me.” Was all Luke said before heading to his room leaving Jack shocked.

“What the fuck.” He mumbled, surprised at his brother's confession. Jack immediately rang Quinn to inform him of the revelation, ignoring the time difference.

“This better be good.” Quinn greeted, sighing at being interrupted and wondering why his brother is still up so late.

“Hello to you too.” Jack said, rolling his eyes. “Thought you’d want to know Y/N kissed Luke.”

“What?!” He shouted down the phone. “Are you sure? When? What?!” Quinn was lost for words. He knew his brother was madly in love with you and that you were madly in love back, anyone with eyes could see that except you two. Their mom also picked up on it. 

“I don’t know. He didn’t elaborate.” Jack said. “It’s time though.”

“Jack, don’t.” Quinn warned, knowing exactly what he was on about. This wasn’t the first time he brought it up but Quinn was insistent that they shouldn’t meddle in their brother’s love life. Jack was bored of waiting for either of you to make the first move and decided to take matters into his own hands.

“Too late. The plan has been made. Operation get Luke a girlfriend is a go.” Jack said, ignoring his brother's concern and hanging up on him. 

-x-

Jack had a plan. It wasn't a great plan and Nico told him that at any opportunity he could. All he could do was shake his head at his teammates' antics knowing that once Jack had an idea there was no way to stop him. 

“We need to somehow find out if Y/N is dating this Scott guy.” Jack said, his voice low in case his brother walked in. They had just finished practice and were sat in their stalls in various states of undress. Jesper and Dawson leant forward, hanging on every word. 

“We could just ask them? Aren't they coming to the game tonight?” Nico suggested while Jack gave him an incredulous look, like that was the craziest idea he's heard. 

“Or we could invite them round to the team party and ask them about how their life is?” Dawson piped up. 

“Yes! That's it!” Jack exclaimed, making Nico roll his eyes because that was basically his idea, just more straightforward. 

“Won't Luke ask Y/N to come?” Nico asked. 

“Nah he's freaking the fuck out that he's ruined their friendship or something.” Jack told them. He finally got it out of his brother what had happened last night. That you were talking to this guy, Scott, and then you kissed him when saying goodbye and then you haven't messaged him about the kiss. Luke was convinced it was the end of the friendship he knew and loved. “So we gotta give them a little push.”

Nico shook his head, getting up to go to the shower just as Luke was coming into the locker room. “This is a terrible idea.” He mumbled, wanting no part of it. 

-x-

Your eyes lit up when you saw Luke leaving the locker room, your lips tugged into a smile just as bright. The Devils had just won so you're not sure why your best friend didn't look his usual happy self after a win. His eyes landed on you, surprised you're here and wearing his jersey. He made his way over to you, his strides large so it didn't take long for him to stand in front of you. 

“You still came?” Luke said, struggling to hide the surprise in his tone. He could feel his finger twitch by his side, the urge to tuck the stray bit of hair behind your ear strong.

“Of course I came. Did you not want me to come?” You asked, worried that you overstepped. You looked down at your shoes, wanting to hide from his gaze. 

“No, no. I'm glad you came. I want you to be here. It's just- I didn't hear from you all day so I didn't know if you were still coming.” Luke stuttered out, hating that the thought of him not wanting you here crossed your mind. “I want you here, Y/N.” He reiterated, silently pleading for you to look at him again. 

“I'm sorry I didn't message you today. I had a little too much to drink after you left and then I didn't wake up until midday. I thought you'd be too busy at that point so I didn't want to bother you.” You admitted, looking back up at him. Luke wanted to tell you that he's never too busy for you. It was on the tip of his tongue but as always his brother has the best timing.

“Y/N!” Jack exclaimed the moment his eyes landed on you. 

“Hey Jack.” You smiled at the older boy. “Great game tonight.”

“Thanks Y/N.” He grinned, not realising he was interrupting something or not caring. “You're coming to the team meal, right?”

“Team meal?” You asked, eyebrows furrowed. You looked at Luke hoping for some clarification.

“I was going to tell you.” He told you, rubbing the back of his neck. “The team is having a little get together next weekend and you're invited if you want to come.” Luke could kill his brother right now. He was going to ask you himself but now he’s worried you're going to think he didn’t want you there. The rational side of him knows he's just overthinking however ever since the kiss his thoughts have been in overdrive.

“I'd love to come. As long as I'm not intruding.” You said, biting your lip slightly, a nervous habit of yours. You always felt a little weird going to team events, official or unofficial ones, as Luke’s plus one because you weren't dating. That fact you were very much aware of. 

“You're not intruding, Y/N. All the guys would love it if you came.” Jack assured you. “Besides, we need someone to keep this guy in check.” He teased earning an eye roll and a playful shove from Luke and a giggle from you. 

“Well I'll be there.” You confirmed. “Do you need me to bring anything?” 

“Oh, errm, I think Cap is sorting all that out so better ask him.” Luke told you, trying to get you to leave for a moment so he could curse his brother out.

“I'll go and do that.” You said, spotting Nico across the corridor. You gave Luke's hand a little squeeze and smiled at him. “I won't be a sec.”

Luke watched you go over to Nico and Dawson, waiting until you were out of an earshot before scowling at his brother. “Why on earth would you mention the dinner when you know I haven't asked them yet.” 

“Didn't know you actually were going to ask them.” Jack shrugged. He was trying to hide the amusement this situation gave him. 

“Well I was and now Y/N's going to think I don't want them there.” He hissed, keeping his voice low so you can't hear them. 

“They're not going to think that.” Jack told his brother even though he knew it was no use. Once Luke had something in his head it was hard to change his mind. “Y/N is in love with you! It's so obvious but you refuse to see it.”

“We're just friends.” Luke insisted, trying to convince himself more than Jack. 

“Friends don't do what Y/N does. Friends don't kiss.” He pointed out. Luke clenched his jaw, trying not to make a scene. That was the last thing he wanted right now. All he wanted was for Jack to shut up, to stop him giving him hope knowing it'd only bring him heartbreak. Luke couldn't handle your rejection. 

“I'm not interrupting am I?” You asked, your smile fell when your gaze landed on Luke. You rarely saw Luke angry. You knew he got angry on the ice but this was different. The last time you saw him like this, eyebrows furrowed and jaw clenched, was at a bar and some creep was hitting on you, not taking no for an answer. 

“Not at all.” Jack said, slightly shaking his head at his brother before walking away, leaving the tension hanging. Luke was about to follow but you grabbed his hand, stopping him in his tracks. 

“Is everything okay?” You asked, willing for Luke to look at you instead of staring ahead. 

“Everything's fine, Y/N.” He hoped you would let it go. The problem with being best friends though is you know when something is wrong. 

“Luke, you don't have to keep things from me. I know something is wrong.” You said, searching his face for any reaction, the silence killing you. “D-did I do something wrong? Please tell me if I did something wrong.” 

“I-I'm sorry.” He had to get out of there. It broke his heart being the cause of your hurt but he didn't want to make things worse. “Jack’s my ride and I-I have to go.” Luke stuttered out before walking away to join his brother. 

“Luke, wait.” You pleaded softly but it was no use. He was gone. You didn't want to cause a scene so you willed the tears that threatened to fall to wait until you got home. 

“You alright, Y/N?” Nico asked, making you jump slightly not realising there were people still in the corridor.

“I'm fine.” You said with a forced smile. Nico saw right through it but he didn't want to bring it up. What he was going to do is kill Jack. He knew it was a terrible idea to interfere with Luke’s love life and now he may have ruined their friendship. “I better go too. Got a lot of work to catch up on. Great game tonight though.” You rushed out before hurrying to your car, wanting to put as much space as possible between you and the arena. 

The moment you got home you made a beeline to your room, ignoring your roommates calls. You threw Luke’s jersey off, the material feeling uncomfortable on your skin. You were spiralling, pacing the room as your mind went over every little detail from the past couple of days. One minute you were discussing summer plans and inviting him round to your party and the next you're kissing him. That's when the realisation hit. 

“You're home early.” Your roommate said, leaning against the doorframe. “Thought you'd be hanging out with Luke tonight.”

“He probably doesn't wanna see me ever again.” You mumbled, face down on your bed. 

“Don't be ridiculous of course he does. You're his best friend.” She sighed, sitting on the edge of your bed. “What happened?” 

“I kissed him last night.” You admitted, biting your lips slightly feeling nervous under your roommate's gaze. “And now I've ruined everything.”

“What makes you say that?” She asked and you told her everything. From the way you felt brave enough to kiss him on the cheek goodbye to not hearing from him all day. Then you told her what had happened at the rink. She listened as you spilled every thought and feeling you had without judgement. She let you get everything off your chest before chiming in. “It sounds to me that Luke is being stupid. He’s so in love with you that it’s kinda sickening sometimes. I swear he’s permanently got heart eyes whenever he sees you. Just give him a little time, you know how in his head he can get.” You nodded, taking in her advice knowing she was right. 

-x-

You weren’t going to come to the team dinner. Even though Luke has apologised for what happened after the game and you were talking again something felt off between you. It was like there was an elephant in the room that neither of you were talking about. Jack had texted you, persuading you to still come and so did Dawson and some of the other guys. That’s why you were standing in front of the door, finding the motivation to knock on the door.

Nico was the first to greet you, answering the door when you finally knocked. He took your coat, hanging it up on the coat rack by the door while you walked down the hallway to the living room where you were met with a chorus of hello’s. 

“Damn, Y/N! Got a hot date after that we don’t know about.” Dawson called from the breakfast bar, a drink in each hand. You couldn’t help but look down at your outfit, feeling a little self conscious. You knew he didn’t mean it in a bad way but now you were worried what you were wearing was a bit much. Luke wanted to assure you it wasn’t too much, that you looked beautiful tonight. Well to him you always did. 

“Nope. No hot date.” You told him, your eyes not leaving Luke as if it was him you were telling. They followed him as he excused himself to the kitchen, not missing the way blush dusted his cheeks. You decided to join him in the kitchen, wanting your best friend back and the only way that would happen is by talking to him. “Hey.” You greeted, making Luke jump slightly.

“Hey.” It was soft, like he didn’t want to ruin the silence. Your eyes raked over him, taking in every detail in case this was the last time you saw him. From his curly hair, which you enjoy running your fingers through, to his hands, which you miss holding.

“Please tell me if I read the situation wrong. That you didn’t want me to kiss you goodbye.” You said, your directness surprising Luke a little. “Because right now I feel like I’ve ruined everything.” You waited for an answer, the silence killing you. Your eyes flickered over Luke’s face looking for any reaction, willing for him to respond, but nothing. 

You took that as your answer, leaving Luke alone in the kitchen and heading out of the front door, grabbing your coat on the way. You didn’t care if everyone saw what happened. At this rate you would never see the team again. You didn’t stick around long enough to hear their concerned questions or to see Luke realise what you were saying.

“Y/N, wait!” Luke called after you, running down the street in a t-shirt and jeans. Even after everything you were concerned he was going to catch a cold or something.

“Luke, what are you doing? Where’s your coat? You’re going to get ill.” You rushed out, fretting over him. He hadn’t even noticed he didn’t grab his coat. That was the last thing on his mind, the first being you.

“I don’t care. I had to catch up with you.” He told you, pulling you to the side so you weren’t in peoples' way. “I’m sorry.”

“Luke-” You sighed but he continued, wanting to get everything off his chest.

“Y/N, I’m sorry I’ve been a shit friend recently. I’ve just been so in my head about everything and that’s not an excuse but I’m sorry. If anyone’s ruined anything it’s me.” Luke rambled. “You kissed me but I thought you were going out with Scott so I tried to put distance between us which was very stupid of me because I realised I hate being apart from you. I liked that you kissed me though.”

“Y-you did?” You asked.

“Yes and I wish I could kiss you back this time.” Luke said, cupping your cheeks with his hands. They were cold but you didn’t mind. It felt natural, like they were where they belonged. “If you want me to, that is.” He added, not wanting to overstep. You didn’t trust your voice to reply to him, to tell him yes you wanted to kiss him. That you wanted him to do that for the longest time. You leaned up, brushing your lips against his, an invitation for him to kiss you. It was soft, Luke wanting to savour every bit of it. Your lips were sweet from your lip balm, a fact he would remember for a long time. “I love you, Y/N, and I’m so sorry I was too chicken to do anything about it too.”

“Well you weren’t the only one who was scared.” You assured him. “I love you too.” Luke couldn’t help but smile hearing those words come out of your mouth. You leaned up to kiss him again, his cold skin touching yours making you shiver. “Let’s head back and get you warmed up.” You said about to walk back to Nico’s apartment when Luke stopped you.

“Or we could just go back to mine.” He suggested, not wanting to go back to everyone just yet. 

“Fine but you’re having a warm shower. I can’t have your mom or your coach kill me because you got sick.” You told him. 

“But it’d be worth it though.” Luke grinned and he was right. It would be worth it because you are in love with your best friend.

[violentdeliiights]

my baby

eek this is my first time properly writing for ghost gasp

this was supposed to just be a quick little drabble but i kind of got into the writing mood and couldn’t stop

also disclaimer i have never first hand played the games, but i’ve watched friends and family play them so any inaccuracies please ignore!

cw: details of car accident, hospitals, angst, female reader (i think that’s all pls let me know if there are others)

word count: 1.8k - not proofread, ignore any mistakes thank youuu

Simon could feel something was wrong.

Something in his bones, a rippling wave of nausea, a shift in the breeze on the back of his neck.

The other lads had always made a joke of his seemingly supernatural levels of superstition, how he was able to almost always accurately predict when or if something was going to go wrong.

Information had been from a dodgy source? Simon had guessed from the way Gaz had dropped his mug of coffee that morning.

One of their safe houses was infiltrated? Yeah, he’d known something was coming after Soap had stubbed his little toe getting out of bed and they’d heard the Scot’s high-pitched swearing from the mess hall.

They were being ambushed whilst on a seemingly harmless mission? You guessed it, Lt. Simon Riley had warned them in the helo the day before that Price’s favourite hat going missing was a sign.

One thing about Simon- he never, ever ignored his intuition.

So the forlorn look on Price’s face as he approached Simon’s hulking frame in the gym caused his stomach to drop. He’d been stood supervising Gaz and Soap training the newbies when that god awful sensation washed over him- and now he could tell Price was going to confirm that feeling.

Turning to face the Captain when he reached his side, Simon nodded out of respect, “Cap’n”.

The sigh that he received in response only made his stomach plummet further.

“Simon,”

Price never called him by his first name. Only ever Lieutenant or Ghost.

Something was really wrong.

“…it’s your girl. She’s in a bad way.”

✯ ✯ ✯

Unlike your husband, you’d never been one for superstition. All those things online about a woman’s intuition made you feel slightly out of the loop- you don’t think you’d ever predicted something bad before it happened.

In some ways you were thankful; you never lived with the lingering sense of dread and suspicion that Simon seemed to. You’d never woken up filled with anxiety over something that was a possibility.

However, in some ways, it was a curse. Every bad thing that had ever happened to you or your loved ones seemed to blindside you. Breakups, whilst sometimes predictable, had always gutted you in a deep, physical way. Betrayal, death, accidents, injuries. They all seemed to hit you deeper when you never saw them coming.

Being stabbed in the back hurts worse when you can’t see the knife coming.

That was why that morning had felt like just another Thursday. Your normal day to go food shopping, knowing the supermarket would be relatively quiet and that you would need to stock up for the weekend when Simon tended to snack like nobody’s business.

You had just packed up the car with the bags, pulling out of the car park and onto the large roundabout the led onto the main road.

Just like every other time you’d made the trip.

Only, those other times didn’t include a huge Land Rover who hadn’t seen you in your tiny Volkswagen Beetle- the one your husband had bought you when you’d told him it was your dream car as a little girl.

The Rover pulled out just as you passed him, driving head first into the passenger’s side and sending your car spinning, careening out of control and straight into a sign post on the other side of the road, tipping the car onto its side.

The accident had happened at such a speed that you hadn’t even mentally understood what was happening before your eyes closed involuntarily, shards of glass from the smashed windshield and doors littering your skin, your chest rising and falling at a rapid rate, cuts all over your body and your seatbelt digging painfully into you.

Your last thought before your body shut down was the face of the man you loved.

✯ ✯ ✯

Simon had never driven as fast in his life.

He was well over the speed limit, his foot on the accelerator almost parallel to the floor.

The hour drive to the hospital from the base took him 25 minutes.

He hadn’t even bothered with a response when Price had informed him of which hospital you were in, Gaz and Soap only looking up from their training when they heard the door slam after him, the gym feeling slightly colder than it had minutes prior.

He had no doubt that the rest of the task force wouldn’t be far behind him: you had become somewhat of a staple around the base over the years, bringing the boys hot meals, helping with odd jobs, making sure they were all taking care of themselves.

Sometimes, Soap would come to you with his issues instead of Ghost- that was when you knew your husbands colleagues were more than just colleagues. You had been welcomed into their little dysfunctional family.

Throwing his car into the first parking space he found, Simon stormed into the reception area, his aura more that of Ghost than Simon with the palpable anger and tension radiating off of him. The elderly receptionist seemed to cower in his shadow looming over the desk, ignoring the funny and fearful looks he got from the rest of the waiting area as he barked out your name.

“R-room 414, pet,” He made a mental note to thank the woman a bit more softly and charged his way down the hall to the stairwell. The lift would only hinder him and he knew fine well he would run up a million flights of stairs to get to you. Hell, he’d scale Everest blindfolded. Wrangle the moon with a rope. Anything. For you.

After reaching the fourth floor, he flung the door stairwell door open and began his search for you, scouring each and every door number until he found it

Despite his earlier efforts to get to you as quickly as possible, he felt himself take a shuddering breath before he dared to enter- he had no idea what he was walking into. The only information Price had been given was that you’d been hospitalised a handful of hours ago. It was harder to reach a next of kin who worked on a military base, apparently.

When his eyes landed on you in that hospital bed, the only thing keeping his legs from giving way beneath him was the thought of getting to you.

Your usually glowing face was pale and sunken. Your lovely rosy cheeks he loved to pepper with kisses were hidden beneath tubes and cuts. A bandage wrapped around your head skewed your hair from his sight. The feeling of seeing you lying there, helpless, relying on machines to keep you going was so much worse than any bad intuition he’d ever felt before.

He would swap places with you in a heartbeat. No physical pain would ever compare with the utter devastation he was experiencing. His heart was no longer in his own chest, but lying battered and bruised in a hospital bed attached to machines.

His large hands swept delicately over the side of your head, “My baby,” his voice wavered, heavy with fear, “My sweet girl. What happened to you, baby?”

The taste of salt on his lips was his only sign that he was crying.

Big, bad, Lieutenant Simon Riley. Ghost. His name drove terror into the hearts of men across the globe.

Reduced to tears at the sight of you.

His knees hit the floor by your bedside, both of his hands delicately cupping your bruised face, “Come back to me, baby. You promised forever, yeah? I’m holding you to that,” A quiet sob ripped from his throat before he could control it, pressing a delicate kiss to your cheek and moving to bury his head in your stomach to muffle any more sobs.

Simon had no idea how long he had been sat slumped over you, still on his knees yet not willing to leave your side for more than a second to grab a chair. He would never let you out of sight again. Judging by the fact that the sky was significantly darker by the time he heard the door open, he could tell he’d been here for a while. Jerking his slumped head up to the door, he left out a silent breath of relief when a familiar face appeared with a sorrowful smile.

“Hey, Si. How’s our bonnie lass?” To Soap, you had been their girl since the moment Simon had introduced you to the group. His best friend- second only to your husband.

When Simon said nothing, only looked at him in silent despair and flickered his eyes back to you, Soap pushed open the door and revealed the other two men stood patiently behind him. Filtering into the room, both Gaz and Price removed their hats in respect as the three of them came to stand by your bedside but Simon couldn’t remove his eyes from you. His baby. His sweet, funny, intelligent girl.

“Hope you don’t mind, LT- we found ‘er doctor a bit ago, asked ‘im what happened, thought we’d give you some space,” Price’s voice had never been so soft, so cautious not to disturb the sullen atmosphere of the room, “Said she’d been in a car accident. Some idiot had pulled out on her, thankfully on the passenger side so she avoided the brunt of it,”

“They’ve said to let her rest, should hopefully come round in a bit, but she’s gonna be sore for a while,” Gaz finished Price’s explanation as gently as he could, knowing his LT’s tendency to become protective and hostile at the flip of a switch.

“She’ll be just fine, Si. Just needs her beauty sleep.” Even Soap’s usual humour couldn’t calm Simon. Someone had done this to you. You were in her because of the careless mistake of someone else.

He wouldn’t leave your side. Never again.

✯ ✯ ✯

Price had managed to coax Ghost into a chair before they’d left to return to base, hoping to save his knees and back but allowing him to stay with you.

Simon had resumed his previous place of laying his head gently on your stomach, clutching the hand closest to him in both of his.

At some point, the utter terror he had been feeling since the minute he saw Price’s face that afternoon caught up with him and he had passed out, still clutching your hand.

The feeling of gentle fingers weaving into his hair was what stirred Simon from a dreamless sleep, confusedly lifting his head to see you looking down at him with a pained smile when you caught sight of his red-rimmed eyes. The only time you’d seen your husband shed a tear was at your wedding.

His mouth dropped open slightly as he took in your eyes. Your beautiful, open, awake eyes. He’d never take those eyes for granted ever again.

“My baby.”

[cheeseceli]

When you marry someone else

Pairing: ot5 TXT × Gn! reader (individually)

Genre: angst, unrequited love, a bit bittersweet, reactions

Prompt: they attend your wedding, but you are the love of his life, and he is not the groom.

Warnings: no happy ending for now, reader wears a wedding dress on Yeonjun's, Kai has mentions of food, mentions of tears and crying

A/n: had this entire idea when showering, so enjoy the angst! | Daily click

Yeonjun

He is so conflicted

He is genuinely happy at the thought of you finding the love of your life, but he is sad because it's not him

He is happy when he sees you in that beautiful dress, but he is sad when he sees that you didn't dress up with him on your mind

He wants to sit down on the first row to see you closer, but he also wants to stand on the end of the room so it doesn't hurt that much

He loves you but he wished he didn't

At the party, he would try his best to avoid both you and your now husband

He wants to be there for you, but it seems unfair that he needs to watch it in so many details

He tries to distract himself from the fact that this night is all about you dedicating your life to someone else

And he tries to ignore his mind telling him that this someone else was so not worth of you

His vows seemed shallow, and it was ridiculous how he didn't cry when he saw you walking down the aisle. It outraged Yeonjun to see him talking with his friends instead of being with you

Everything that the groom did, Yeonjun knew he could do ten times better

But he was trying to ignore it. For the sake of your night

And when you come to him, handing him the bouquet, he can't help but feel defeated

"I want you to be the next one to find everlasting happiness" is what you said to him

So Yeonjun took the bouquet, hoping and praying that it actually meant something

Soobin

He genuinely thought on not going

The moment he received the invitation, he threw it away

And since he refused to talk to you ever since, you thought you'd be missing your best friend on your wedding day

But in the end, he couldn't help but to go to the ceremony

It wasn't fair on you if he missed one of the most important days of your life

Especially since you had no idea Soobin has been in love with you for decades

So he attends the wedding

And he regrets it the moment he gets there

Why were you so beautiful?

And why were you so happy?

He talks to all your friends and family members throughout the day

He is searching for any hint that your fiance doesn't deserve you

Anything that could give him a reason to stand up and object

But there is nothing

The man you fell in love with was nothing but a kind and generous person

And Soobin can't recall a day where you had smiled that much before

So he just sits down in defeat when you start to say your vows, wondering what he could've done in the past so today would've been different

Beomgyu

He is trying his best to act like your best friend

Like yes, he's so happy for you!!

He'll cry tears of joy and he'll party all night!!

He's doing his best to just be happy for you

Because that's what he's supposed to be

Happy for you, not happy with you

So he buys you the greatest gift you could ever imagine

He talks with every single person in the party

He is the first to go to the dance floor and he doesn't hesitate on playing with the kids

He is trying to be happy

And when your groom comes to him, thanking him for taking care of you until now, Beomgyu cries a bit

Especially when the groom vows that he will love and protect you from now on

He cries in the ceremony and cries even more when you hug him by the end of it

But as your best friend, he promises he'll always do his best to be happy for you

Taehyun

He won't be there

I'm so sorry, but I don't think he would be able to endure the pain

Every time he saw you guys on a date, or the photos you post, or the messages you sent with "I'm with my boyfriend right now, can we talk later?" always felt like a dagger in his heart

So to see everything come to life was not something he could do

He'll come see you a day before the wedding though

And in his plan, he would try to convince you to give up

He never liked your boyfriend anyways, he didn't feel like too good of a person

So he tries to hint on the topic

But you're so blindly in love that you don't notice

And he's so in love with you that he simply gives up

So he just smiles at your content and announces that he needs to go, that he will get some things ready for tomorrow

But he doesn't

He tells you that there was an accident on the road, that he was suddenly required on his work, or that there was a family emergency

Something happened, and he couldn't make it to your wedding

And upon seeing your smile on the photos, he's glad he didn't

Hueningkai

The moment you tell him you're getting married, he is volunteering to help you in anything and everything

He is there when you choose your clothes for the day

He finds the best florist in town

He helps you decide on the cake, on the place, on the date, everything

Because he knows this is the last time you'll be relying on him for help

From now on, your soon to be husband will be the one who is supposed to be by your side

Till death do you apart

And as much as it hurts, Kai won't let the sorrow be on the way

If he has this last opportunity to help you and be with you, that's precisely what he'll do

So when the big day ends up being more beautiful than your dreams

And both you and your now husband come to him to thank him

He can't help but smile through teary eyes, which he reassures you that it's because of happiness

Now he knows that he at least tried his best until the end

Masterlist | you'll probably like: moving on

Reminder this is just fiction!! I'm not trying to portray real life and you shouldn't believe that this is how the members actually are. This is just for the vibe and the delulu!

Thank you for reading <3

Taglist (open!): @yuyubeans @zzzzzwicked @sheraayasherrecs

Dividers by @enchanthings | images 1 , 2 and 3

[fireboltposts]

A/N : Happy New Year to you all ! Hope you like this small scenario. Gif credit goes to the owner.

• Imagine you've come to your hometown for a month, visiting family and friends and neighbours. You had told Chan to come with you but of course he had his work commitments and he felt regretful for not coming with you, so you constantly kept giving him updates as he had asked you, sending him pictures of food that you were having or the places you were visiting and most importantly selfies of yourself as he asked for to the point where you're like "you literally have countless pictures of me in your gallery how many more do you want ? 🙄".

• Just three days after going to your hometown you text him something like "Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo ?", anticipating his reply.

• He smiles at the Shakespeare reference and texts back something like "Ah, my love ! I am here in the land of Seoul awaiting your return like a faithful Romeo. But alas, I am separated from my Juliet, a mere echo of her presence 😔", playing the part of a perfect lovesick Romeo.

• But then he adds cheekily, "don't worry I'm not ending up with poison in my hands or anything. I'll wait patiently like a faithful Romeo for your return 😎".

• You smile as you roll your eyes and type "well I expect grand gestures when I return, Romeo, maybe you can cook for me and give a heartfelt monologue about how much you missed me. 😏"

• "Thy wish is my command princess. Just come back to me soon okay ? I miss you a lot 😔❤️".

Hope you liked it. Do like, comment and follow. You can find the rest of my masterlist here.

[cosyvelvetorchid]

For One Night Only.. Maybe chapter 4 is up!

Read on Ao3 or below

Enjoy!

🩶

Rating: G (for this chapter)

W/C: 3,852

Summary:

It's New Years eve and after talking with Maddie and Eddie Buck realises his feelings.

**********

“Uncle Buck!” Jee yelled excitedly, hurtling towards Buck the second he walked through the door. He opened his arms wide for her to jump into and picked her up. 

“My favourite girl! Did you have a good Christmas with Grandma and Grampa?” She gave a big nod in response. “Well that’s good to hear. Did Santa bring you lots of nice things?” 

“A pony!” 

“A pony?! I don’t think a point would fit in your room.” 

“Not a real pony, silly.” She giggled. She wiggled in his arms to get down and he put her back on the ground. She immediately ran towards her room. 

“Welcome back.” He greeted Maddie with a hug. 

“Thanks. Coffee?”

“Uh, sure.” He followed her into the kitchen. “So, come on, tell me the truth now that they can’t hear you on the phone—how was it?” 

“Surprisingly, calm.” 

“Really?” 

“Uh-huh. I mean they of course criticised Jee’s bedtime, what we fed her for breakfast, oh and my choice of Christmas sweater-“ she rolled her eyes. “But, all in all they were actually pretty well behaved.” 

“Did they, uh.. did they say anything about me?” He asked, expecting to hear the usual criticism. 

“Actually mom said she misses you.” Buck raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, I know it surprised me too.”

“She misses me.” He said not quite believing it. 

“Yep.”

“Wow.” They looked at each both laughed at the absurdity of their mother actually admitting how she felt. 

“How were they with Chim?” 

“Dad actually started calling him Chimney, if you can believe that.”

“You’re kidding?”

“Nope.” Maddie shook her head “When they talked about you they called you Buck, too.”

“Took them long enough.” He scoffed. 

“I missed you there.” She said after a moment. 

“I know.” He looked at her. “I-I know they’re getting better and I’m glad, but.. I’m not ready to act all happy families with them yet.” 

“I understand.” She smiled. “How was Christmas at Tommy’s? I’m surprised you didn’t spend it with Bobby and Athena to be honest.”

“I was going to but Tommy was going to be alone most of the day. I get the feeling he doesn’t have anybody other than his aunt.”

“Has he not mentioned any friends?” 

Buck shook his head. “Not really. He talks about the people he works with, and he likes them, but they’re not close—not like the 118 are anyway.” 

“You’re always trying to save people.” She said. She wasn’t being accusatory, just stating a fact. 

“He doesn’t need saving, Maddie—I just hated the idea of him being on his own for Christmas. It’s the time you’re supposed to spend with people you care about.” He explained. “But it was nice. I cooked us dinner and we spent the day watching movies. Pretty chill.” 

Buck had kept his word and cooked them both a roast turkey with all the trimmings. Tommy had stubbornly refused to let him do all of the work so Buck had delegated the vegetable preparation to him. 

They’d stood side by side in Tommy’s kitchen in their respective aprons, singing along to Christmas music as they worked. Buck was surprised to find out that Tommy had a beautiful singing voice and had tried to convince him to come along to one of Chim’s karaoke nights. Tommy steadfastly refused but Buck hadn’t given up and was determined to convince him eventually. 

Tommy was the most relaxed Buck had seen him since they’d met. They’d laughed and joked, ate good food and drank good wine, and by the time Clara had arrived in the early evening they were a little tipsy. 

But they were aware enough to switch into boyfriend mode as soon as she walked in the door. 

Tommy moved from his previous position at the end of the sofa to the middle so he was closer to Buck. Their legs were against each others and Tommys arm was along the back of the sofa behind Bucks head. 

Every so often his arm would slip down across Bucks shoulder and each time Buck relaxed into him. Slowly bucks eyes got heavier and he fell asleep with his head on Tommys shoulder. 

Tommy gently woke him up some time later and ushered him upstairs to his bedroom. 

“You don’t have to stay here.” He’d said. “But with my aunt in the guest room, you’d either have to go home or sleep on the sofa.”

“That might look suspicious.” Buck had said. 

Tommy then changed in to pyjama pants and a T-shirt and Buck had opted to stay in the sweats he was wearing and they got into his bed. Buck laid on his back and Tommy on his side facing away from Buck. 

It was silent for a while until Tommy spoke. He reached behind himself until he found Bucks hand and held it gently. 

“Thank you, Evan.” He had whispered in the dark; his voice thick with sleepiness. 

“For what?”

“Best Christmas I’ve ever had.” He lightly squeezed Bucks hand before sleep quickly took over his consciousness and his hand loosened but didn’t fall out of Bucks. 

Buck had laid still; his hand still holding Tommy’s, listening to his soft breathing. It was pitch dark in the room so Buck hadn’t been able to see what Tommy looked like in his sleeping state but he couldn’t help picturing his face soft and relaxed. He sighed deeply trying to calm the flutter in his stomach at the image.

He thought about why this could be Tommys best Christmas. All they did was eat and drink and hang out—it wasn’t exactly a raging party. He thought about his own sad Christmas’s as a child and wondered if Tommy had experienced something similar. He knew that Tommy had loved with Clara for a while and that his dad was homophobic, but beyond that Buck knew nothing about Tommy’s childhood. 

Eventually he had drifted off into sleep still holding Tommys hand. 

“Uncle Buck, look!” 

Buck turned to see Jee dragging a giant stuffed pink pony, bigger than herself, across the floor. 

“Woah!” He cried out. “Santa really did he you a pony, huh?”

“You should have seen Chim carrying that through the airport.” Maddie laughed. 

“It’s probably bigger than him!” Buck joked. 

“Hey.” Maddie lightly chastised with a soft whack to his arm. 

Buck sat down on the floor and laid against the giant pink fluffy horse. Jee immediately jumped on top of him causing to let out an “oomf!”. She giggled as he bounced her up and down on his legs.

“Stop me if I’m being too intrusive but-“

“Since when has stopping you ever actually stopped you?” Buck said back to her. 

Maddie ignored his response. “Have you met someone?” 

Buck stilled from bouncing Jee. “What? No. What- w-why would you ask that?” 

“Just.. I don’t know, these last couple of months you’ve been- you’ve seemed more.. at ease. Little bit more settled, maybe.” 

She wasn’t wrong. He had been feeling like his life was becoming some more of what he wanted it to be. He loved his job—even on the bad days, he had his 118 family, Maddie and his niece whom he adored. His culinary skills had never been better thanks to Bobby and now he had Tommy in his life. 

This amazing firefighter pilot that he still couldn’t believe was his friend. 

Being around Tommy was easy. He never felt like he was in the way when he was around him; that his presence was wanted. They shared the same witty banter and playful insults, could read each others body language and when they had to pretend to be dating, they fell into it with such ease that there were moments when Buck had to remind himself that Tommy wasn’t actually his boyfriend. 

Buck loved Eddie. He loved Bobby and Hen and Chim and Karen and Athena. And they loved him, he knew that, he felt that. But they all had the tendency sometimes to treat him like a child. Or an over excited Labrador that needed a whack on the nose occasionally. 

Tommy never did that. Tommy let him be Evan. Tommy gave him a space to show every part of himself without fear of judgment or condescension. He accepted Evan flaws and all. 

For the first time in his life Buck was beginning to feel like Evan was enough. 

“I guess I am.” 

“What’s changed?” She asked. 

“I’ve just been feeling more myself self lately.” 

“Does this have anything to do with Tommy?” She had a knowing look that Buck wasn’t sure was about. 

“Uh, yeah. Kind of. We-we’ve become really good friends. I feel like.. like he really sees me, ya know?” 

Maddie looked at him for a beat and tilted her head. “Is that all?” 

“Wha-what else is there?” He asked. 

“I just- Look, you know I love you, right?”

“Yeah. I love you too, Maddie. And I love you the most!” He tickled Jee still sat in his lap on the floor. 

“And you know that no matter what I will always love you. And always accept you. Whoever you are.” She raised her eyebrows as though they somehow sent a message that Buck wasn’t getting. 

“Thank you..?” He said confused. 

“I’m just saying that you will always be my brother and however you feel about.. certain things.. I will always support you. No matter what. Don’t ever forget that.” 

“Are you talking about Tommy and I?” He asked and she nodded. “We’re just friends.” He told her. 

“Right, but if you were more than that, that would okay.” 

“A-actually there’s.. there’s something I should tell you.” 

“Oh really?” She said, smiling. 

“It’s not what you think.” He said. “Okay, it’s kind of what you think but not-“ He stopped himself and took a breath. “He and are in a kind of fake relationship.”

“Fake?” 

“We’re pretending to be in one so his aunt stops trying to set him up with men.” He explained.

“Buck.” She said in that admonishing tone. 

“It’s fine, okay. I don’t mind. And-and Clara is actually really cool for an old lady.” 

“So, you’re pretending to be together?” 

“Yes.”

“Okay. How does that work? What do you.. do?” She raised a curious eyebrow. 

“Nothing like that.” He waved his hand. “We just- we act like we normally do as friends, but also hold hands sometimes, put an arm around each other, sometimes kiss each other-“ Maddie's eyes opened wider “on the cheek.”

“Right.” She said looking skeptical. “Well, whatever he is to you, you do seem happier.” She smiled softly. 

“I am.”

*****

Somehow the 118 A shift had managed to also New Year’s Eve off this year and Bobby and Athena were going to hosting a party for everyone. Eddie and was flying back to attend and Tommy and Buck were driving to pick them up. 

“What’s your New Year’s resolution?” Buck asked as they drove along the freeway. 

“Do I look like the kind of guy that makes New Year’s resolutions?”

“No, but you don’t look like a guy who has the voice of an angel either.” 

Tommy scoffed. “Evan, I am not doing karaoke no matter how much you bug me about it.”

“I didn’t say anything!” He protested. 

“Uh-huh.” 

Buck laughed. “Seriously, you don’t believe in resolutions?” 

“I’m going to go out on a limb here and assume that you do?”

“I mean.. yeah. I feel like the new year is like a fresh start, ya know? A chance to look at where your life is and who you are and maybe chance some things.” 

“You don’t need a new year to do that—you can change any time you want.” Tommy countered. 

“I guess. But there’s something about a brand new year that feels good. It’s stupid I know.” 

“Hey, it’s not stupid. If it’s something you like to do then that’s okay. Just because it’s not my thing doesn’t mean it can’t be yours. Tell me—what are your New Year’s resolutions?”

Buck turned in the passenger seat to face Tommy a little. “I definitely want to be more disciplined in the gym.” 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. It’s hard not to want to be when one of your best friends is built like a tank.” He reached out and gently squeezed Tommys upper arm. 

Did Tommy hear that right? Evan just referred to him as one of his best friends?

“Best friend?” He questioned. 

“Well, yeah.” He said earnestly.

Tommy felt mixed emotions at that. A part of him felt privileged that someone like Evan would see him that way. Truthfully—and perhaps pathetically—he’d never had a best friend before. It was entirely his own doing—he’d never let anybody get close enough to him to build that kind of bond with someone. But Evan was just so easy to know it was no wonder he burrowed himself into Tommys life so easily. 

But, there was a large part of him that felt disappointed. And sad. He knew that Evan was straight, but that didn’t stop Tommy from developing.. something towards him. But despite knowing Buck was straight there was that little delusional side of his brain that hoped that maybe he wasn’t entirely. 

It didn’t help that on numerous occasions he’d wondered if Evan was flirting with him. The way he looked at Tommy or playfully insulted him had him thinking that, although it was an incredibly small chance, maybe it meant something. 

But hearing Evan referring to him as a best friend put an end to those hopes. It wasn't like Evan was a consolation prize--he was a wonderful man to know. But it still stung to have it confirmed that he saw Tommy as nothing more than a friend. 

“Good.” He said smiling at his passenger. There was no doubt his hopes had been dashed, but he really was still grateful to have met Evan and have him in his life. 

Buck regretted calling Tommy one of his best friends as soon as the words came from his mouth. He wasn’t lying—he really did see Tommy as one of his best friends. But what he felt for Tommy was more than that. 

When they weren’t together he thought him constantly; always wondering what he was doing and counting down the hours or days until they saw each other next. He’d turn his head on the street when somebody walked past wearing the same cologne. Every time his phone would ping his heart would light up hoping it was a text from him. 

And there had been numerous times when they were alone he’d honestly thought Tommy was flirting with him. And every time he’d feel his stomach flutter and his skin flush with heat. As much as their romantic relationship was fake, he couldn’t help but imagine what it would be like if it were real. 

But Tommy seemed happy with the best friend designation, and Bucks hope of Tommy liking him were slashed. 

~

“Welcome back.” Buck greeted Eddie with a hug. 

“I didn’t realise you were bringing your boyfriend.” Eddie said hugging Tommy. 

“You told him?” Tommy asked Buck, surprised.

“I had to! If Clara came over and saw the two of you rolling around in your garage she might say something about me.” 

“There’s no rolling, Evan—it’s called sparing.”

“Thank you!” Eddie added. 

Buck rolled his eyes. “Whatever.”

“If you want I can spar with you sometime. I might even go easy on you.” Tommy said playfully nudging Buck with his elbow. 

“Hey, I don’t need you to go easy on me!” Buck protested. “I reckon I could take you.”

“Oh really?” 

“Is this what you guys are like around Clara?” Eddie asked. 

“What are you talking about?” Asked Buck. 

Eddie looked at them for a second before shaking his head. “Nothing. What time is Bobbys party?”

“Uh, 8 o’clock.” 

“Do we have to bring anything?” Eddie asked. 

“I’m bringing some beer.” Tommy answered. 

“And I’ve made a large batch of brownies.” Added Buck. 

“Are they the chocolate fudge ones?” Tommy asked. 

Buck nodded. “Yup.” 

“Remind me to hide a couple of those before everybody eats them.” 

“No need—there’s an extra batch in my fridge for you.” 

Tommy smiled warmly at the thoughtful gesture as Bucks phone pinged in his pocket. 

“It’s Bobby—he wants us to pick up a few things for him for the party.” 

“Alright. We can stop on the way back to Eddie’s.” Tommy suggested. 

~

The three of them walked into the grocery store and Tommy went off to pick up the wine he said he’d bring leaving Eddie and Buck to get the things Bobby needed. 

“So.” Eddie began as they walked along the meet aisle. “You and Tommy.”

“What about us?” Eddie simply raised his eyebrows at him. “What?” Buck repeated. 

“You said this relationship you were in was fake.” 

“It is.” 

“And the flirting?”

“What flirting?” Buck asked throwing a few packs of pork chops into the basket. 

“At the airport.” Eddie reminded him.

“What? That-that wasn’t flirting.” 

“Buck. I’ve seen you flirt. On the job and off—that was textbook flirtatious Buck.” 

Buck rolled his eyes. “Shut up. It was not.” 

It wasn’t intended to be at least. Was it possible to flirt without realising it? Historically, Buck was great at flirting. He knew how to use his words, his tone, his body language—every move he made was intentional. But that was with women. 

He’d never actively flirted with a man before. He liked Tommy, there was no doubt about that anymore, but Tommy thought of him a friend only. So why would Buck flirt with him?

Eddie knew what Buck looked like when he was having an internal debate and threw him a lifeline. 

“If you say you’re not flirting then you’re not flirting. But for the record, it wouldn’t change a thing between us.” He placed a hand on Bucks shoulder. “Okay?” 

Buck wasn’t ready to talk about his confusing, and clearly unreciprocated feelings yet, but he appreciated Eddie’s sentiment. 

“Thanks.”

“You guys got what you need?” Tommy came up from behind lugging a basket full of wine bottles. 

“Uh, yeah.” Buck replied. “We got everything.”

*****

By 10pm the party was in good spirits. Music was playing—at “an acceptable volume so people can have an actual conversation” as per Athena’s instruction, the dining table, formally covered in food, was half empty and everyone was dotted around the house in various conversations. 

Hen and Karen were in the kitchen with Athena, Chim and Tommy were reminiscing with Bobby about the 118, and Maddie and Eddie were playfully arguing over what music to play. 

Buck was leaning against the fireplace wall watching Tommy. He couldn’t help it. The way his mouth moved when he spoke, the little twitches in his eyebrows when reacting to something Bobby was saying and those beautiful creases around his eyes when he smiled. 

He was mesmerising. 

“Earth to Buck.” Eddie snapped his fingers in front of Bucks face. 

Buck shoved Eddie’s hand away. “What?” 

“Alright.” Eddie said. “Come with me.” 

“Where?

“Outside. Come on.” 

Buck glanced over at Tommy again who caught his eye and smiled before focusing back on what Chim was talking about. Eddie slid the glass door open and closed it again behind them. 

“What’s going on?” Buck asked. 

“You and Tommy.” 

“We’ve had this conversation, Eddie.” Buck moved to open the door again by Eddie stepped in front of him. 

“And this time you’re going to tell me the truth.” 

“What are you talking about?” 

“Buck, I can practically see the hearts floating around your head like a damn cartoon every time you look at the guy.” 

“I-“ Buck wanted to argue back that Eddie was wrong but what was the point? He gave in with a sigh, walking over to one of the day beds and sitting down. Eddie followed suit and sat across from him. 

“It doesn’t matter anyway.”

“Why?”

“Because he.. Were friends. He’s made it clear that’s all he sees me as.” He admitted. 

“But you want more?” 

“I dunno, I- We’re.. Yeah. I do.” He sipped from his beer bottle and picked at something imaginary on his jeans. 

He looked at Tommy through the window and sighed. He was grateful to be friends with him and if that’s all he could have of him, he’d gladly take it. But he couldn’t pretend that he wasn’t sad that that’s all he could have of him. 

“I gotta say I didn’t think that this is where your interest would lie.” Eddie said. 

“What, Tommy?”

“No, I mean guys in general.” He clarified.

“I didn’t either. I love women—I’ve always loved women.”

“How long have you been leaning in the other direction?” 

“I haven’t. N-not specifically.” He said. “I mean, sure I’ll check out a hot guys ass but that’s normal.”

Eddie gave him a weird look before it shifted into recognition. “Oh my god!” 

“What?”

“When we were in Texas helping out the 126. There was something about the way you were talking to that guy. What was his name. Uh…”

“TK?”

“TK. Yes. The way you were talking to him. Looking back now you were totally flirting with him.” 

“I was not!” Buck protested. “And didn’t you say earlier that you know when I’m flirting?”

“Yeah, now—I didn’t know then as well as I do now. Now I can spot it a mile away.” He sipped his beer. “Trust me—you were flirting.”

Looking back, Buck did think that TK was good looking. He was exceedingly competent at his job and competency was always something that he found attractive in the women he liked. Between his skills as a firefighter, the love his team had for him and the fact that he was willing to fly into a forest fire to save somebody he loved, Buck had thought that he was jealous of TK. Maybe it was actually a crush. 

“I'm curious--what is it about Tommy?” Eddie asked. 

Buck again looked towards Tommy then back at Eddie. “He’s just so cool, and-and confident. He has a cleft.” He couldn’t help the corner of his mouth rising. “He’s calm to be around and when he makes fun of me it doesn’t make me feel bad. I feel good when I’m around him.” 

“But he doesn’t feel the same about you?” Eddie questioned. 

“No, I don’t think so.” 

“You don’t think so? Has he actually said he only thinks of you as a friend?” 

“I mean.. not technically, but-“

“Have you asked him?” Eddie interrupted. 

“No. And I’m not going to, before you ask.” 

“Why not?” 

“Because the chances of him liking me are slim and-and I’m not going to humiliate myself and ruin our friendship in the process.” He shook his head. “No. Trust me, it’s better that things stay as they are between us. As friends.”

“Look, Buck, I think that you-“

The glass door slid open and Tommy stood with his phone in his hand and a pained expression on his face.

“What’s wrong?” Buck immediately stood up. 

“That was the hospital. It’s Clara.”

“What happened? Is she okay?” 

“She.. she had a heart attack.”

**********

[transmechanicus]

I’m allowed one (1) vent of the colossal amounts of pressure my body and mind are under per month and i usually do my best to bury it in the early hours of the morning, so now that i’ve provided this valuable and important context:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[starpros-sunshine]

Had a relatively okay day now my mother wrote my that my grandmother apparently died. Wow. Okay. Way to fuck up the evening I guess.

[phagodyke]

wanted to go to the gym social tn but as I was getting my stuff together to go out, a friend said smth that rly pissed me off and now I'm too fucking angry to go out. fucks sake man

[e77y]

Glad I’m starting therapy so soon after moving out ☝️ I am already feeling the helplessness and loneliness

[broke-on-books]

doing a little cheer anytime they mention my home state

[the-mozzarella-brothers]

ghhh i miss being in israel so bad

[totallyawesome123]

rediscovering I have empathy? craaaazyyyyy

[philosophicallie]

ok time to try to blame someone else instead of me

[bongsavior]

HOWEVER !!!!!!!!!!

[whenthegoldrays]

🩷

[anarchyloser]

Love having a jewish friend again after a few years of knowing no jews so I can celebrate holidays and stuff again